#and plenty better than some published stuff

[foone]

why are printers so hated? it's simple:

computers are good at computering. they are not good at the real world.

the biggest problems in computers, the ones that have had to change the most over the time they've existed, are the parts that deal with the real world. The keyboard, the mouse, the screen. every computer needs these, but they involve interacting with the real world. that's a problem. that's why they get replaced so much.

now, printers: printers have some of the most complex real-world interaction. they need to deposit ink on paper in 2 dimensions, and that results in at least three ways it can go on right from the start. (this is why 3D printers are just 2D printers that can go wrong in another whole dimension)

scanners fall into many of the same problems printers have, but fewer people have scanners, and they're not as cost-optimized. But they are nearly as annoying.

This is also why you can make a printer better by cutting down on the number of moving elements: laser printers are better than inkjets, because they only need to move in one dimension, and their ink is a powder, not a liquid. and the best-behaved printers of all are thermal printers: no ink and the head doesn't move. That's why every receipt printer is a thermal printer, because they need that shit to work all the time so they can sell shit. And thermal is the most reliable way to do that.

But yeah, cost-optimization is also a big part of why printers are such finicky unreliable bastards: you don't want to pay much for them. Who is excited for all the printing they're gonna be doing? basically nobody. But people get forced to have a printer because they gotta print something, for school or work or the government or whatever. So they want the cheapest thing that'll work. They're not shopping on features and functionality and design, they want something that costs barely anything, and can fucking PRINT. anything else is an optional bonus.

And here's the thing: there's a fundamental limit of how much you can optimize an inkjet printer, and we got near to it in like the late 90s. Every printer since then has just been a tad smaller, a tad faster, and added some gimmicks like printing from WIFI or bluetooth instead of needing to plug in a cable.

And that's the worst place to be in, for a computer component. The "I don't care how fancy it is, just give me one that works" zone. This is why you can buy a keyboard for 20$ and a mouse for 10$ and they both work plenty fine for 90% of users. They're objectively shit compared to the ones in the 60-150$ range, but do they work? yep. So that's what people get.

Printers fell into that zone long, long ago, when people stopped getting excited about "desktop publishing". So with printers shoved into the "make them as cheap as possible" zone, they have gotten exponentially shittier. Can you cut costs by 5$ a printer by making them jam more often? good. make them only last a couple years to save a buck or two per unit? absolutely. Can you make the printer cost 10$ less and make that back on the proprietary ink cartridges? oh, they've been doing that since Billy Clinton was in office.

It's the same place floppy disks were in in about 2000. CD-burners were not yet cheap enough, USB flash drives didn't exist yet (but were coming), modems weren't fast enough yet to copy stuff over the internet, superfloppies hadn't taken over like some hoped, and memory cards were too expensive and not everyone had a drive for them. So we still needed floppy disks, but at the same time this was a technology that hadn't changed in nearly 20 years. So people were tired of paying out the nose for them... the only solution? cut corners. I have floppy disks from 1984 that read perfectly, but a shrinkwrapped box of disks from 1999 will have over half the disks failed. They cut corners on the material quality, the QA process, the cleaning cloth inside the disk, everything they could. And the disks were shit as a result.

So, printers are in that particular note of the death-spiral where they've reached the point of "no one likes or cares about this technology, but it's still required so it's gone to shit". That's why they are so annoying, so unreliable, so fucking crap.

So, here's the good news:

You can still buy a better printer, and it will work far better. Laser printers still exist, and LED printers work the same way but even cheaper. They're still more expensive than inkjets (especially if you need color), but if you have to print stuff, they're a godsend. Way more reliable.

This is not a stable equilibrium. Printers cannot limp along in this terrible state forever. You know why I brought up floppy disk there? (besides the fact I'm a giant floppy disk nerd) because floppy disks GOT REPLACED. Have you used one this decade? CD-Rs and USB drives and internet sharing came along and ate the lunch of floppy disks, so much so that it's been over a decade since any more have been made. The same will happen to (inkjet) printers, eventually. This kind of clearly-broken situation cannot hold. It'll push people to go paperless, for companies to build cheaper alternatives to take over from the inkjets, or someone will come up with a new, more reliable printer based on some new technology that's now cheap enough to use in printers. Yeah, it sucks right now, but it can't last.

So, in conclusion: Printers suck, but this is both an innate problem caused by them having to deal with so much fucking Real World, and a local minimum of reliability that we're currently stuck in. Eventually we'll get out of this valley on the graph and printers will bother people a lot less.

Random fun facts about printing of the past and their local minimums:

in the hot metal type era, not only would the whole printing process expose you to lead, the most common method of printing text was the linotype, which could go wrong in a very fun way: if the next for a line wasn't properly justified (filling out the whole row), it could "squirt", and lead would escape through gaps in the type matrix. This would result in molten lead squirting out of the machine, possibly onto the operator. Anecdotally, linotype operators would sometimes recognize each other on the street because of the telltale spots on their forearms where they had white splotches where no hair grew, because they got bad lead burns. This type of printing remained in use until the 80s.

Another fun type of now-retired printers are drum printers, a type of line printer. These work something like a typewriter or dot-matrix printer, except the elements extend across the entire width of the paper. So instead of printing a character at time by smacking it into the paper, the whole line got smacked nearly at once. The problem is that if the paper jammed and the printer continued to try to print, that line of the paper would be repeatedly struck at high speed, creating a lot of heat. This worry created the now-infamous Linux error: "lp0 on fire". This was displayed when the error signals from a parallel printer didn't make sense... and it was a real worry. A high speed printer could definitely set the paper on fire, though this was rare.

So... one thing to be grateful about current shitty inkjet printers: they are very unlikely to burn anything, especially you.

(because before they could do that they'd have to work, at least a little, first, and that's very unlikely)

[roguestorm]

How To Start Reading Marvel Comics

Okay, so let's say you're a fan of the Marvel movies or games or you just saw Spider-Verse and you want to know how to start reading comics. Hi, welcome! This is one method of getting into comics; it is not the only one. We're going to be heavily relying on digital comics for this one, so if you prefer reading on paper, this might not be for you.

Step One: Pick a Character

This should be easy! Pick a character whose comics you want to read. It doesn't have to be your favorite character of all time; it just needs to be a character you're interested in getting to know a little better. A character is going to work better for this particular method than a team will, although there are plenty of team reading guides if you really want them.

Let's say, for the sake of example, that you just watched the Moon Knight Disney+ series and you want to read some stuff about Moon Knight.

Step Two: Find a Reading List

The very technically advanced way to do this is to Google "[Character] Reading List" or "[Character] Recommended Reading." For Moon Knight, Marvel has an official one that pops up right away.

The official ones are good places to start, but IMO, the best ones are usually from tumblr or Reddit. Comic fans can be very intense, but we also know more about the material than anyone, including Marvel. :) Here's one for Moon Knight.)

Step Three: Understanding the Reading List

Comic names are formatted one of two ways. You might see someone say Moon Knight (vol 7) or Moon Knight (2014). These refer to the same series of comics. They mean that the title of the series is Moon Knight, that it is the 7th series published under that title, and that it started publication in 2014. Moon Knight (vol 1) is Moon Knight (1980), because it's the first run of comics called Moon Knight and it started publication in 1980.

So, how do you know? That's where the wiki comes in. marvel.fandom.com is my best friend. So, when you type "Moon Knight vol 7" into the search bar, it brings up this page. See how it says (2014-2015) at the top? That's how you know that Moon Knight (vol 7) is Moon Knight (2014).

Step Four: Accessing Comics

Now we have to get the comics. We have a number of options:

For digital comics:

Buying digital comics. You can do this on Amazon or Marvel.com. However, this gets expensive real fast - for example, Moon Knight (1980) has 38 issues, and each of those costs $1.99. That's almost $80, just for volume 1.

Marvel Unlimited subscription. This is not a bad deal TBH. It's $10 a month, and they have quite an extensive catalogue. The only problem is that the site takes forever to load and is not easily searchable. Usually, I'll type into Google the name of the exact comic I want to access (e.g. "Moon Knight (1980) #1") and then click on the marvel.com link that comes up.

Piracy. This is the easiest and cheapest option, and thus the most popular. I'm not going to link any sites, but ask a friend or Google and you'll find one easily enough.

Physical comics are also an option, but they are more complicated. Groups of issues are collected in trade paperback collections, but finding which collections contain which issues can be a bit more of a hassle. And then buying those collections can get pricey very quickly.

If you like physical comics and have a public library card, I'd recommend checking out what they have on their shelves. On a Marvel comic, you want to look at the back cover, usually in the lower right-hand corner, and it will tell you which issues are in the comic (e.g. "Collects Moon Knight (2014) #1-6"). You might find some things that were on your reading list, or you might find some comics you'd never have read otherwise. A lot of public libraries (at least in the US) have a larger comic book collection than you'd expect.

Step Five: Have Fun and Be Yourself!

The most important thing to remember is that you are supposed to be having fun. There might be some frustration if you're not used to reading visual media (I know I wasn't), but it should overall be fun. If a comic feels like a slog, you don't have to read it! Maybe you and the person who made the reading list just have different taste. Try a different comic. Try a different character.

Also, remember that it's okay to be confused. You might be jumping around a little bit and so you might not know everything that's going on. This is kind of the perpetual state of reading comics. If you want to double-check the wiki or ask your friendly neighborhood comics blogger, that's totally fine.

[rallamajoop]

Some statistics on Lucy and the odds of surviving (non-vampiric) blood transfusions

Because it’s Dracula-season again, and because I am absolutely that kind of nerd, I spent some time calculating the actual odds of Lucy surviving all those blood transfusions from unrelated donors. To summarise what I found up front: Lucy's odds aren't great, but they're still a lot higher than you might think.

Now, I’m not the first person ever to tackle this question, and having no medical qualifications whatsoever, I'm not the best person either. But figuring out the answer to my own satisfaction was a great excuse to learn a whole lot of fascinating stuff that took some digging to figure out, so (with the caveat that I am entirely open to corrections from real professionals) naturally now I want to share it.

The complete world history of attempted blood transfusions is way beyond scope for us here (you can find plenty of sources on it online if you’re curious). But as Stoker’s text aptly demonstrates, the science of blood transfusion had come a long way by the Victorian era – just not the means for doctors to reliably predict which transfusions would be successful, and which would simply kill the patient. The principle behind the basic A, B and O blood types wouldn’t be discovered until 1900 – 4 years after Dracula was published, and wouldn't become part of general medical practice for much longer – and the additional Rh-factors wouldn’t be discovered until 1939. In Stoker's day, doctors were still so far behind the ball some of them thought transfusing milk into people suffering blood loss was a good idea (yes, really). And though I'm focusing on blood groups here, it goes without saying there are plenty of other risks that come from letting any Victorian-era doctor open your veins.

That said, what the average person knows about how blood types work may not be all that much advanced today from what doctors knew in the 1890s. It’s easy to come out of Dracula thinking, “Wow, they gave Lucy blood from four different people? The odds all their blood types would matched hers must be minuscule!” (and a quick search of the web for this topic will find people asking exactly that). But there are several factors which make Lucy’s chances a whole lot better than they might look on paper.

(Image source)

For one thing, even though there are many different blood groups to worry about, some are much more common than others. If just one blood group accounts for half the population (which is actually true of some countries), then Lucy’s odds of hitting four donors with the same group just by chance would go way up.

But far more important is the fact that blood groups don’t have to be a 'match' to be compatible. If Lucy is one of the 2% of the British population with the blood group AB+, she’d be a universal recipient – theoretically capable of receiving blood from anyone without adverse reactions. Similarly, if any of her donors were O-, she’s in luck again, because that makes them a universal donor. If Lucy herself is O-, however, she’s in trouble: universal donors can donate to any other group, but they can only receive from other O-negs.

Confused? Time to get a bit more technical.

When receiving blood, your greatest enemy is your own immune system. Vital as all those immune cells are, they are not smart, and have no way of knowing that all this foreign blood suddenly flooding your system is friendly. If the don’t recognise those blood cells, they’ll attack them, bonding to their surface and causing cells to clump together and form clots which can clog up your arteries and kill you. Transfusing the wrong blood type can and likely will kill you.

The immune system identifies blood cells as intruders via specific antigens found on the cell’s surface. The most important antigens in blood matching systems are the A and B antigens, and secondarily the Rhesus antigens (marked + or -). Some people have all of these antigens (AB+), some have none (O- with the ‘O’ more literally indicating a ‘0’ or a null) and many have some but not all (A+, B-, O+, etc). Meanwhile, the immune system of the recipient body, much like your racist uncle, will attack most anything with distinguishing features it hasn't seen before (like I said, it’s not smart). A blood cell which is missing a familiar antigen will slip through, but a blood cell sporting an unfamiliar antigen will trigger a reaction. So the immune system of someone with B-type blood will have issues with any A-type blood you try and transfuse in, but will be just fine with B or O, since O lacks any antigens to mark it as an intruder.

Once you know what you’re looking for, A, B, AB and O type blood can be identified fairly easily, just by mixing blood or antibodies and watching the reaction. I’ve seen some suggestions that this may have been understood even to some of the better-informed doctors in Victorian times: when unsure if a transfusion would be safe, they could try transfusing just a small amount of blood, watch for a bad reaction, and continue only if things look good. If you absolutely have to do a blood transfusion without any testing though, an immediate family member is your best bet: blood types can still differ among a family, but there’s a strong genetic component. (Sadly, this wouldn’t have been an option for Lucy, as her mother was already unwell, and would not have been considered a good transfusion candidate.)

Things get more complicated when you add in the Rhesus factor, which wasn’t discovered until some decades later, and for good reason: bad reactions to Rh+ blood develop in Rh- people only after that first transfusion. While A and B types might be like your racist uncle, the Rh factor is more like putting a dog on your basketball team: you’ll get away with it once, because you’ve brought in something so unexpected no-one’s made a rule about it yet (let alone bothered to come up with anti-dog basketball tactics). Unlike the standard A and B antigens, the immune system has to have 1) seen Rh+ blood, and 2) spent some time thinking about a good plan of attack before it’s ready to do anything about it – by which point the donor blood should be out of your system anyway. It's only the next transfusion after that where you can hit problems.

In practice, the Rh factor is of most concern to Rh- mothers carrying Rh+ babies. The first baby should be fine, but the delivery process can result in some mixing of the mother and baby's blood ‒ and that can leave her immune system primed to take offense at any future passengers of the Rh+ persuasion (why this apparently doesn’t also apply to A and B type babies in A or B negative mothers I’m not sure, but obviously the Rh-immune response works differently). With all today’s modern medical technology, this is something doctors can identify in expectant parents and manage with medication, but obviously they're still going to want to avoid transfusing Rh+ blood into an Rh- patient (especially if they’ve already got Rh+ kids).

Regardless, for our purposes, it’s only from the second transfusion that the Rh factor could trip you up. So could that be an issue for Lucy, if she’s getting so many transfusions? It's harder to find good info on exactly how long the Rh immune reaction takes to develop after the first transfusion, but most of what I could find suggests we’re looking at a period of weeks to months at least. So that’s good news for Lucy: we can ignore Rh factors when we’re calculating her odds of survival.

As a minor aside here, the standard eight blood types you can get by combining A, B and the Rhesus factor aren’t technically the only blood types out there. These three antigens matter most because people both with and without them are common in the broader human population, but a small minority of people are missing other antigens that the rest of us get as standard. European blood banks apparently also classify blood by a Kell factor, and people with anaemia and other conditions likely to require regular transfusions may be checked for several other potential Rh-like issues. A handful of people worldwide have blood classified as neither Rh+ or Rh-, but Rh-null – missing antigens common to 99.9% of the human population, and being in that class is a very mixed blessing. Blood donations from someone Rh-null can be used in recipients with rare blood types that would make them incompatible with almost any other donor. But if someone Rh-null ever needs a blood donation themselves, they’re in big trouble.

So, enough theory. What’s all this mean for Lucy’s odds of making it through 4 blood transfusions from unrelated donors?

Unsurprisingly, ratios of different blood groups vary a lot country to country and population to population, so I looked up ratios in modern Britain (Van Helsing is Dutch, of course, but blood groups in the Netherlands are similar enough to those in the UK that we’ll ignore that, just for simplicity). It’s possible these ratios have drifted since Victorian times, but figuring out how is so far beyond scope here we’re not going to worry about it. As discussed above, we’ll also ignore Rh factors – Lucy’s almost certainly never had a blood transfusion or a baby before, and everything happens far too fast for an Rh-immune response to kick in.

Alright. It’s statistics time!

We don't know Lucy's blood group, so any are possible. For each potential Lucy-blood-group, we can generate a list of blood groups which will be compatible donors (we'll call that list C(x)), and from that, we can calculate the probability that she'll be compatible with any randomly-selected donor. For Lucy to survive, we need her to survive 4 successive blood transfusions, so we’re raising that survival probability to the power of 4. Then to calculate her overall probability of survival, we multiply the survival rate by the odds she’s in that blood group, and add them together (no need to divide by the total population, that’s an easy 100%). So if we let n = number of transfusions and P(x) = probability a person is in blood group x, we get the following lovely equation:

(Yes, I know, I'm sorry ‒ someone out there is going to want to check my working, and I like to be transparent.)

And with that, (assuming I’m not just talking out of my arse with all those calculations), that suggests Lucy’s overall chances of surviving 4 different blood transfusions is about: (drum roll)... 27%. So, roughly 1 in 4.

The really savvy reader might notice that Lucy does not, technically, survive all four transfusions – she dies shortly after the fourth, so it’s conceivable that last transfusion was a mismatch. If we take the requirements down to where Lucy only needs to survive 3 transfusions, her odds go up to 34%, or closer to 1 in 3. Still not great, but given the sorts of crazy one-in-a-million coincidences all fiction is built on, that’s actually pretty reasonable. Even if you do factor in Rh compatibilities, we're still looking at around 21% survival rate after 4 transfusions, which are pretty decent odds in the world of Victorian medicine.

Do those odds sound a little high to you? Here’s something to keep in mind. On paper, Lucy’s odds of surviving even a single random-donor transfusion are only 65%. But given she survived that first transfusion, the odds go up that she’s in one of those near-universal blood groups, and they keep going up. Sure, every new transfusion has a new chance to kill you, but statistically speaking, every transfusion you survive marks you as someone who’s a little more likely to survive the next. So someone who's already survived 2 transfusions has a 76% chance of surviving a 3rd ‒ and if they do survive that 3rd, an 80% chance of surviving a 4th.

As another aside though, even after surviving four successive transfusions, the odds Lucy’s in that lucky AB universal-recipient category are still only about 10% (compared to 3% of the base population). Statistically, it’s still far more likely she’s in the A-group ‒ the second largest group in the UK, and who can receive blood from the other largest group (O), letting them receive blood from a whooping 86% of the population without issue. Aren’t statistics wonderful?

Oh, all right – I’ll stop with the maths. We’ve made our point here.

Now, we could still point out that, for a supposedly-experienced physician, Stoker's Van Helsing seems pretty blase about the possibility his blood transfusions could backfire horribly ‒ but then, Lucy's already on death's door each time he resorts to asking for volunteers. He's doing the only thing that might save her life (and it does, until it doesn't).

To conclude, no-one is going to tell you Dracula makes sense. This is a book which offers no explanation for why Dracula should just happen land in England on the same town where his solicitor’s fiancée just is taking a holiday, let alone the rest of it. And Stoker had no way of knowing Lucy’s actual odds of surviving such a very Victorian procedure. But that whole blood transfusion sequence is far from being the least probable thing in the book. 

[excineribusbooks]

we waste the same day like nobody dies by @magpieandwhale, illustrated by @cloudy-recesses

I've lovingly referred to this project as "We Waste the Same Day Like Nobody Dies: The Illustrated Edition" ever since its inception [mumblemumble] months ago (since, if you haven't seen it yet, @teleportbooks also made a beautiful binding of the same series!). magpieandwhale is another friend I've known for TWENTY FREAKIN YEARS somehow; I knew I was going to make her a copy of this as soon as she finished it, and I had the great joy of giving it to her in person last week while in her city for a family wedding ❤️

This was another design that got slammed sideways at the last minute by finding the perfect cover paper. Last month, Renegade Publishing had its first-ever retreat, which included plenty of paper for swap and sale -- and what should I find on the swap table but that incredible gold-and-black Art Deco-ish stuff? It fit so well with the titling I'd already done that I immediately switched it up from a full cloth binding to a quarter-binding, with an inset carved out of the board for the title to sit in. For contrast (and a little intentional clashing), I went with silver-and-black on the endpapers, to play with the idea of Xue Yang and Wang Haoxuan as two not-quite-separate entities with much more in common than either wanted to believe.

The spheres in the cover design reference a scene partway through the third story, "shatter what you will not carry":

Xiao Zhan twirls his pen and digs up a fresh piece of scratch paper. “Okay. Think of a ball of some sort.” “Make it a football,” Yibo says, bone-dry. Involuntarily, Haoxuan laughs. His real legacy, right there. Xiao Zhan scoffs. “Too complicated, I’m not drawing that.” He sketches out a sphere. “A ping-pong ball. One half is black, one half is white.” He draws a vertical line down the middle, giving it dimension, shading it into a half-moon. “Do you get it? Two colors, one ball. If you rotate it so one color is facing you, the other is still there. Sound familiar?” Haoxuan glances at Yibo; his gaze is fixed on Haoxuan, stolid. It bores into him. Haoxuan swallows. He dabs his face with a napkin. Xiao Zhan keeps narrating. His pen dashes across the image. “Okay, now spin the ball on its axis. It’s still the same ball, it’s still got both colors on each side. But now that it’s in motion, the colors blend. The ball is.” He wrinkles his nose. “Gray. Should have chosen better colors. But now it’s a whole new thing, still with its component parts. Are you following?”

And the art! THE ART. cloudy-recesses, thank you so so much for letting me include so many of your incredible pieces -- whether they were made especially for the fic or just so fitting that magpieandwhale yelled "THAT ONE! I LOVE THAT ONE!" as we were hashing out what to include.

You can read the whole series at the link above, and see a whole lot more of cloudy-recesses's art on their Tumblr!

[moghedien]

I am considering reading the books but I've seen it said that Rand is the protagonist of the book series and that characters like Moiraine and Egwene who are basically my favourites have significantly less to do in the books, with Moiraine being absent for chapters and chapters at times. I'm also not a big Rand fan (i love a disaster man and Mat is right there, come on) so I'm wondering would you reccomend the series to me? What are the big differences between it and the adaptation?

so #1 advice for anyone regardless of where they're at with wanting to read the books: If you're already watching the show, don't start reading the books until after this season is over. There's a lot of rearranging and changing of stuff in the books and I think that can get confusing if you're trying to consume the show and the books at the same time.

Ok so regarding Rand, yes, he's the main character and is the vast majority of the POVs in the first book. Its extremely obvious who the dragon reborn is in the book and its never really presented as a mystery. As the books go on, it becomes much much more of an ensemble type story and Rand will be almost entirely absent for long periods of time, but he's still largely the main character. but there are 148 different POV characters in the books, so its far from a Rand-only story

Regarding Moiraine and Egwene, while I wouldn't really say that Egwene has a significantly lesser role in the books (at least after the first book), Moiraine's role is definitely beefed up for the show. We don't get her POV until a few books in (well there is a very brief POV in book 1), and she's largely missing from book 2. She is a much more (emotionally) distant figure and definitely the sort of Gandalf/mentor role in the books rather than the main character. But if you like Egwene, there is plenty of Egwene content for you in the books, do not worry.

As for differences, the main difference between the books and the show is the first book is not the first season. There are definitely elements there, but the first book is best viewed as an homage to the fantasy genre that Robert Jordan had to make a certain way to get it through publishing. Its not *bad* but its definitely a Lord of the Rings-y story that follows that kind of formula. The show made sure there was a lot more worldbuilding and future plot threads established in season 1 than there was present in book 1. It doesn't start becoming truly its own thing until book 2, imo, and it's a common sentiment where books 4 and 5 are really where it starts becoming the Wheel of Time and holding its own ground. Like as much as some people do complain about it and as much as I do like the Eye of the World, it would have made a terrible on screen experience if it were told entirely faithful to the book

So I wouldn't say absolutely to read it or not. obviously I do want people to read and enjoy the books, but its also a commitment, and if you're coming to them off of the show, its best to be aware that's its going to be different going in. You're not going to see some of the things that happened in season 1 at all, but you're going to get a much more detailed account of the story and it might give you better context for some of the things going on in the show, even if its not how it happened in the books.

So if you're ok with the fact that its different, I say try it once the season is over. If you don't want to finish it or continue on with the series, then there's no harm in trying and you can always keep watching the show even if the books aren't for you

[writingrapscallion]

Twin Switcheroo

I'm sure this has been done before, but lately I've been imagining an AU where, instead of Grunkle Stan being the one to meet the twins in Gravity Falls, it's Ford.

It all starts years ago, when Stan breaks Ford's perpetual motion machine. Rather than hide what he did, Stan comes clean to Ford and the two manage to fix the machine, leading to them becoming closer. However, Stan still feels a bit betrayed when Ford leaves to go to West Coast Tech.

A few years later, things are much the same as in canon. Ford graduates with honors (as well as three doctorates) and receives a large research grant for a project of his choice. In this universe, McGucket went to West Coast Tech, so he's still friends with Ford. Stan has still become a con artist and is actually in a pretty bad situation, facing potential charges for his illegal activity. However, Stan gets a call from Ford promising to make all his legal problems disappear if he comes to work as Ford's lab assistant in his investigations of a strange town: Gravity Falls.

When Ford realizes the strangeness of Gravity Falls, he decides he needs people he can trust to help him (and he wouldn't mind having some muscle to help him with the more dangerous problems). And so, along with his old friend McGucket, he decides to ask Stan for help since in this universe they're on much better terms.

Stan quickly accepts. It feels almost too good to be true: he and his brother can finally have the adventure that they always wanted. Sure, the cryptids of Gravity Falls are often dangerous and always disturbing, but at least he's with his brother. Unfortunately, much like in canon, thinks start to go wrong.

Ford makes his deal with Bill and creates the portal. McGucket is sucked into it and goes insane, abandoning the project. Stan begins to notice that Ford is becoming more and more erratic and disturbed, and can't understand why his brother doesn't seem to trust him. Things come to a head when Ford tells Stan to leave, and take the journal as far away as possible. Understandably, Stan freaks out.

His relationship with his brother was better than in canon, but Stan still felt abandoned when Ford left for college. With Ford gone, he'd been reduced to a petty grifter, without a home or family. The past few months have been the best of his life: he has a home, plenty of adventure, and, most important of all, his brother besides him. But now Ford wants him to leave.

The two start to fight and, suddenly, the portal switches on! Except in this universe, it's not Ford who's pulled in, but Stan. Ford is devastating, realizing what he's done to his brother, and does everything in his power to try and bring him back, but unfortunately, Ford already hid two of the three journals in places even he isn't able to reach (perhaps he even wiped his memory to prevent Bill somehow forcing him to retrieve them) and without Bill's insight, he has no clue how to reactivate the portal.

Timeskip to the present day. Ford has a reputation as a brilliant but reclusive scientist. His contributions to Physics and other fields of science have allowed him to win multiple Nobel Prizes and many other awards. However, he doesn't seem to care about any of this (he states to Dipper at one point he only publishes his results to ensure a steady supply of grant money).

Ford is kind but distant with his family. He's never met Mabel or Dipper before the start of the series, but he has written to them and sends them presents for their birthdays. Dipper idolizes his uncle, and is a lot more interested in science than in the original series as a result of his aspiratons to be like his Grunkle. His correspondence with his Grunkle is overly formal and often includes stuff like descriptions of science fair projects and requests to work as a lab assistant for his Grunkle (requests that are gently denied). Ford considers Dipper to be a promising young scientist. Meanwhile, Mabel being Mabel sends him stuff like videos of herself sticking gummy worms up her nose. Ford is mildly confused but very fond of his grand-niece.

The series starts when Mabel and Dipper are sent to spend the summer at their Grunke's place. They are both very excited to meet him (Dipper a bit more than Mabel due to his hero worship of Ford). Ford is happy to see them too, and gets along well with the pair when he's with them. However, he spends most of the day in his laboratory, working on unknown experiments, and leaves the kids to play around town. Ford often sends his two lab assistants, Soos and Wendy to look after the pair. Soos and Wendy are much the same as in the actual show— although Ford could probably hire anyone he wants to work in his lab since he's a famous scientist, he doesn't want to involve anyone outside of the town for fear of attracting unwanted attention to his real work.

A few days into his time in Gravity Falls, Dipper discovers the journal hidden near the metal tree. In this universe, the journal's slightly different. Each of Ford's three lab assistant wrote their own journal, marked with their own symbol (it wouldn't be much of a mystery who wrote them if the journal had Ford's six fingers on the cover). The first book, still owned by Ford, has the standard six fingered hand and is written by him. The second one, which has fallen into Gideon's possession, is written by McGucket and has a symbol based on his glasses on the cover. Finally, the journal Dipper finds is marked with the same symbol as Grunkle Stan's fez.

The contents of the Journal are a bit different than the original. Although Stan does write about their supernatural encounters, his style is far more informal than his brother's, often making jokes or mocking comments about the creatures they encounter. Occasionally, Ford takes over to write a section when Stan can't be serious, so the journals a mix of the two of their writing. Stan jokingly refers to his brother as "Mr. Scientist" throughout the Journal, unintentionally concealing the fact that Ford's the main researcher.

A few hours after finding the Journal, Dipper speaks to Ford, suspecting that the old man is Mr. Scientist (although he doesn't mention the Journal, only his knowledge of supernatural occurences in Gravity Falls, so Ford doesn't know he has it). However, Ford feigns disbelief in the supernatural, hoping to prevent his nephew from diving too deep into the secrets of Gravity Falls.

Although Ford's performance successfully convinces Dipper that he's not the Author (AKA Mr. Scientist), Dipper is not deterred in the slightest by his Grunkle's skepticism and instead takes it as a challenge. To prove his credentials as a scientist, he's going to prove his Grunkle wrong, face down the supernatural, and bring back evidence (cue two seasons of Phineas and Ferb style antics where the evidence disappears as soon as he tries to show it to Ford).

[snackara]

Hey there! Sorry it took me so long, but I finally got my questions ready for your "Solomonar Chronicles"!

I remember that this series was inspired by how bad "Fantastic Beast" got after the first film. (which I get, the other two were such wasted potential) Is anything else from Harry Potter being used for inspiration for your series?

How did you come up with your character names?

Who would say is your favorite character that you made?

Do these characters get trauma like the ones in "Upon a Star?"

Are you going to do more Draconology Files? That one caught my interest the most since I'm studying dragon biology for a villain in my superhero story.

Would this be formatted like a regular book, or play out like a movie?

Is Solomonar Chronicles like a series with each chapter being an episode, or one large story broken up into chapters?

Why did you choose the 1920's for the setting? Its not a bad thing, I actually really enjoy stories set in that period. I'm just curious.

Will we see designs for the characters some day?

Any major villains coming up we should know about?

Are there other fantasy creatures in this world, or just dragons?

I was also curious about your "Dinosauroids Project" story too. I finished the first story of my "Visitors From Pangea" trilogy, so I'm curious how you would write a dinosaur based project.

In regards to original stories we're making, I'm currently creating one called "SuperZeroes", where its a story inspired by all the CBM I grew up with. Not sure if you're into heroes, but I was hoping I could share some stuff I have with you? At least while I'm still building the world and characters.

Thank you! 🐶

Oh hell yeah, ask away!

I took a lot of inspiration from problems I found in the world-building. If you want an in-depth look at the flaws in the Wizarding World, I highly recommend this video. It’s very long, but very good. The main flaw I wanted to tackle with this series is the whole Statue of Secrecy, and how it’s more harmful than helpful for mages and non-mages alike. Also this is not a Harry Potter thing, but weirdly enough Deadpool and Wolverine had a heavy influence on the story.

I looked up lists of common names from the 1920s and picked out some that stood out to me for first and last names. Except for Atticus and Clara. Those two just sort of came to me.

Either Atticus or Jesse, it’s a tough choice. On one hand you have Atticus ,who’s deeply traumatized and scarred but over the course of the story slowly heals and finding good in the world again. And on the other is Jesse, who’s just an absolute sweetheart and so supportive of his lover.

Oh heavens no…it’s so much worse in this series. Just look at Atticus.

Yes, I have a couple in my drafts I’ve been meaning to work on.

Im hoping to get it published as a real book series someday, so it’s formatted like a normal novel.

More like a larger story broken up into chapters, for the most part.

Mainly because that was when the Fantastic Beasts trilogy was set. I’ll probably tie it into the themes of the story better with prohibition and the non-mage government, but for now that’s it. Shallow? Yeah. But it works.

I’ve been digging through concept art to use as references lately. So far the pickings are a little slim for how I envision dragons, but I still have some stuff.

Edward Donahue. He’s basically the head of the mage CIA but somehow worse (Keepers), is the strongest believer in keeping non-mages and mages separate, and oh yeah basically started all of this by killing William Torrence and burning half of Atticus’ face off. So yeah, not a great guy.

There are plenty. I’m not sure how I’ll fit them in at the moment, but they will appear, because I have some interesting interpretations. One fun idea I have is making fairies more like bugs than tiny humans.

It’s based of a theory originally created back in the 1980s by David Russell which explores the question of “What if dinosaurs never went extinct and involved human-like intelligence?” It’s a really fascinating concept that I’m surprised more people haven’t picked up on. My own story is based on concept art created by C.M. Koseman and Simon Roy. Unfortunately I don’t have a solid story yet, just some worldbuilding stuff.

Yes please

And thank you for the asks!

[andydrysdalerogers]

Troublemaker ~ 1 ~ The Exact Moment

He is one of the best goaltenders in the league. He's also hated by his teammates. He didn't mean to be a troublemaker but why not lean into it? There wasn't anyone to stop him.

Until he met her...

A Jeremy Swayman AU x OFC Stella Williams

Story Warnings: excessive drinking, SMUT!, an asshole Jeremy, angst

A/N: Hello and welcome to a spin-off "Cross-Checked" so plenty of characters from that story are crossing over here! If you want a more detailed story of how we ended up here, read the first store HERE Also! The taglist is open. If you want to be added or removed, please let me know!

Please note that I do not give permission for my work to be translated, reposted, or published anywhere other than my Tumblr. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Banners by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Everyone always knows when their life took a turn.  Whether it was for better or for worse, people can tell you when that happened.  

Me? 

It was a couple of points. But maybe I should explain some things first.  

My name is Jeremy Swayman.  I am one of the best goalies in the National Hockey League. My goalie partner and I are considered the best goalie duo in the last decade. With that comes a lot of things. Endorsements, contracts, money and of course, puck bunnies. There is no shortage of bunnies. Every single woman and some not so single ones, are always hopping around, wanting a piece of me, whether it would be street cred or to tie me down.  

I am all for the street cred but I’m not a relationship guy.  

Or at least, I didn’t think I was.  

I guess this would be the first point that changed my life.  

Flashback, December 

“Care to explain?”  

She handed me the article and I sighed. “That was just a friend.” I threw back the rest of my drink and signals for another. She glare at me. Fuck did I not what to do this here.  

“A friend.” She looks at the photos again and I can see what she sees.  She’s blonde, model like. We’re both smiling big smiles as we are wrapped up in each other. “What’s her name?”  

I choked for a moment on my new drink. “Her name is Charlie. The photo... the photo is just after we hugged.  Nothing is going on.”  I’m lying threw my teeth.  Hooking up with Charlie had been the release I needed.  

Dating Leighton Andrews, the sister of my assistant captain Luke Andrews, best friend of my captain, Andy Barber, and our social media director, had been a dream of mine for years. She was smoking hot, long, dark hair and green eyes. Fuck, I had wanted her for such a long time.  And at the beginning of the season, she had broken up with her long time boyfriend.  I swooped in and asked her out.  

What I wasn’t expecting was to find out she was pregnant from the ex. And it threw me for a loop. That led to Charlie.  

“Right,” she scoffs. Shit, I think she might cry.   

“Right,” I repeat. But then my temper took over. She was sitting there, accusing me of stuff without proof. Ok, so she might have had cause but still, it's not like I didn’t notice how close she is to my captain. Alcohol is making me brave, reckless and a little mean. “Like you’re not screwing around with Barber. I know you want him, Leighton.” I sneered the words at her.   

“Andy is just a friend.  A friend that I’m not even speaking to.” She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at me.    

“A friend? Really? That guy has wanted you since the day I joined the team. I’ve seen how you were before with him.  All the hugging and kisses to your forehead or cheek. Just a friend right? Bet he’s the father of your baby too.”   

See that? Right there, I just screwed myself.  I just didn’t know it yet.  

“How dare you! I told you the truth about the baby. You said you would be there. I thought we were in a relationship!” She was pissed and honestly, I couldn’t blame her. I had said those things to her. The waiter comes by and drops off our plates.  

I push the food around.  I was just looking for a good time when it came to Leia. But my mouth got the best of me. “Look, i know we’ve been seeing each other but we never defined what we are.” I shrugged. “I thought it was casual. I mean, you never slept with me so were we really that serious?”  

I saw it that time. The flash of pain, regret in her eyes.  “I guess then maybe, we should just be friends. I mean, why would you want to be with a pregnant chick when you could have all the uncomplicated stuff.” A watched that tear fall. I don’t think she meant for me to ssee it but I did. I needed to save this.   

“Look, Leia, I just don’t think I want to be a father right now. I mean, you’re cool and everything but we were never going to the next level. I don’t know if I could sleep with someone who’s having another man’s baby.  And now I’m going to be taking a hit because you weren’t honest from the beginning.”   

“Oh, so what were you going to just sleep with me and throw me away? Your teammates sister?”  

Oops. Fuck it. I shrugged. “I like you but I don’t do relationships.”   

That was the death blow. And if I knew what I knew now, I wouldn’t have said what I said. I would have just been honest. That I wasn’t ready to be a father and left it at that. But no, big man needed to make sure she knew how much of a jackass I was.   

“I’m sorry for ruining your life. I guess I’ll see you at work.”   

I was shocked. She looked so calm. She stood up from the table, threw some money down.  “Leia...” I tried to call after her. She turned and had a look of utter defeat.  

“Goodbye Jeremy.”   

I drowned my sorrow that night.  She had been the only girl I ever wanted more with. But that didn’t stop me I guess.  

Previously, I said I was one of the best goalies in the league, that my partner Linus Ullmark and I were the best anyone had seen in a decade.  

What I didn’t mention was the fact that I was probably the most hated guy in the locker room. 

If you take a life lesson from this, it should be this: never mess around with your captain’s best friend or your teammate’s sister. Especially when they are both. 

Flashback: the next day 

“yeah, she was banging.” I had decided to call Charlie for another round. I don’t usually double dip but she had been fantasic in bed, sucking me off like it was her job. And I couldn’t help but brag to the boys.  

 “Who was banging?” 

I look up to see my captain staring at me, a particularly hard look in his eyes. He had heard me and looked like he was about to commit murder.  I swallowed then smiled.  “This chick I hooked up with. She was wild in the sack last night.”  

“Oh,” his face blanked but his eyes were still flaming with rage. I’ve known Andy Barber for a few years.  He is not one to lose his temper. He isn’t one to start fights.  He’s a talker and one of the best chirpers in the league. He can get anyone into trouble.  I should have seen this as a sign. “This is after you dumped Leia and after you cheated on her, right? Nice.”  

I swear every single skate stopped to stare at the standoff between me and him. He just blew up my world and didn’t even know it yet. I tried to defend myself. 

“Leia and I weren't a couple. We dated but we weren’t exclusive.”  

“Oh, so telling her that you would be there for her, be with her for the baby, acting like her boyfriend but really what was your motive? Screw her and then dump her? She is one of us!”  

Boom! There went my life.  

“Jeremy, tell me that isn’t true?” Linus says.  

Linus Ullmark is one of the nicest humans in the world. He loves his family, he loves his team. He is my best friend.  

I’ve never heard him more disappointed. 

I don’t have a chance to respond when Andy continues. “It's not only true but I had Leia sobbing all night because of this asshat,” pointing at me. 

One more thing I should mention is that I have a temper. I once got ran over by the opposing team that I couldn’t let it go and punched my way out of the pile.  There is a gif of me smiling like the devil as I stood up. When I get challenged I don’t back down. Linus calls it my “troublemaker setting” And Andy Barber just set it off.  

“Why the fuck do you care, Barber? I had bigger balls than you to ask her out and date her. She was asking to be fucked, acting like a slut.  She was ready to give me everything and then she dropped the truth bomb that she’s pregnant! She is a whore, wanting to sleep with someone else when she has a baby daddy. At least I didn’t fuck her, you should be thankful for that. You won’t have to deal with my sloppy seconds. Or thirds, I guess,” I smirked at him. 

For the record, I understand that I may have crossed the line.  

Barber lunges at me, but a couple of the guys stopped him.  

But then I still got punched from out of nowhere.  

I had forgotten about Lukas Andrews, assistant captain, enforcer of our team. He knows how to throw a punch. He put everything he had in it, I felt my nose crunch, along with the sound and i was flat on my back.  

“You fucking asshole! That is my baby sister you are messing with!” Luke screams. He’s thrashing in the arms of our defensemen while Linus is helping me up. I feel the blood running down my nose and my lip is on fire. Guess when the other party doesn’t have a warning, Andrews can punch like its nobody’s business. But the rage is still simmering in my blood.  

“Fuck you, Andrews.  You told me I could go for it. Blame your-fucking-self!” I try to lunge at him but Linus and Brad, my other assistant captain, hold me back. 

In all fairness, I had that coming. Linus told me to be careful with Leia. He told me that it was a bad idea to try to sleep with her a dump her.  When I explained that I really did like her, he sighed and told me to do what I wanted to be happy.  So I had asked her out, got the truth bomb and now I was paying the price for being a troublemaker. 

As long as I lived up to the nick name, I didn’t want to care then.  

I was out for one game with a broken nose. Since I wear a cage as goalie on my helmet, I just had to wait for the swelling to go down to get back into the game.  So I threw myself into it.  

But losing her to Andy was too much 

Flashback – New Years Eve 

“Oh god, sorry.”  I felt a body hit me from behind. I knew it wasn’t one of my teammates, it was too soft.  So I turned to apologize.  

“My mis... Leia.”  Fuck me. I had seen her come in with Andy and they went right to the table with Andrews, his girlfriend Miranda and Stella, one of our trainers and Leia’s best friend.  

I hadn’t seen Leia in a while. Management had banned her from the ice, so her assistants were with us when they were taking photos.  I had heard that she was also banned from flying.  I wasn’t sure why, I assume that her doctor made that decision. But I try not to care. I can’t care. 

“Hi Jeremy.” She’s uncomfortable and she’s flushed. She looks beautiful, her belly now more pronounced. I can see why they call it a pregnancy glow. “Happy New Year.”  She started to walk away. 

She’s trying but I still can’t let it go. “You move fast.”  

She turned back to me.  Her face is neutral but I can see the fury in her eyes. “Excuse me?” 

I snorted. “Don’t play stupid, Leia. You’re with Andy, aren’t you?” A few of the players heads turn and I see Linus take a couple of steps forward.  To protect me or protect Leia, I wasn’t sure.  

Leia Andrews is not someone who will sugar coat anything. Her jaw tightened. “Why do you care?” she said loudly, her voice creeping up with each sentence. “You didn’t want me, remember?  You slept with someone else, remember? You told me you couldn’t handle my situation and I walked away. Whether or not I’m with someone else is none of your business. You made that painfully clear.”  

“Leia,” Linus said softly, touching her arm. “Please, be calm. For the baby.”   

The baby? What’s wrong with the baby. I move to ask but she doesn’t give me a chance. She shakes off Linus and stares me down. I fear that she will hit me or eviscerate me where I stand.  

 “Now, if you will excuse me, I’m going back to dinner with my family.  The ones who accepted me for who I am and what I am going through and have my back.”  

I watch as she walks straight into Andy's arms. He looks at me with anger. Fuck, I don’t need this. My captain was going to be pissed because I couldn’t be nice to the girl he stole from me.  

“Really, dickwad, you couldn’t just be nice to her.”  Linus hit the back of my head.  

“Fuck, really?” I rub the back of my head.  

“She is a high risk pregnancy, jackass. Stress can be really bad for her.  I get it, you are pissed but she chose the man she loves. Grow up Jeremy.” Linus shoved my shoulder and walked back to his wife.  I looked around and saw my teammates glaring at me.  They all knew about her condition.  And I made it worse. 

I lost the rest of my team that day.  

Its been a week and I’ve had a different girl in my bed every night. But they aren’t her.  

No one could be her.  

So I go back to what I know.  

Being a troublemaker. 

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

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@lokislady82

@raven-blue3000

[bnnuy-wabbit]

Cunospig -> bnnuywabbit

Name's Lago. I'm 22.

My art tag is #feral art tag

I'm prone to note spamming mutuals! I personally love being note spammed. It's a love language. To me.

If you happened to stumble upon this blog, you Must Know that I'm obsessed with many things like my own OCs as of writing this post!

I'm Brazilian. As in from Brazil. As in Born There and Living There till my eventual demise, possibly. If you also happen to be one of those or adjacent, feel free to hit me up. É nois 🤙

I treat my blog as an open diary sometimes. There'll be cool things about my life and things in excited abou t and things that make me upset and general life shit. I also talk a lot about my little brothers endeavors because i love him and he's my little creature. If this bothers you, i recommend not following. Also this blog contains adult stuff because im an adult, so follow at your own risk and/or pleasure! I think you should be in control of what you use your eyes to look at 👍

More info under readmore!! But only if you feel like it.

Other than the aforementioned, i have Many other interests that Can and WILL show up here, like:

My OCs and worldbuilding

Portal

Half life and hlvrai

Disco Elysium

Stranger Things

Homestuck

Whump stuff

FNAF

Literally whatever show and game im currently watching or playing.

I'm also VERY into music. My favorite genres are 00s pop, industrial metal, heavy metal, classic rock, folk and mpb. I love learning more about music and getting to know new music genres. Feel free to pop some in my inbox!

Random info: I use emojis abd smileys unironically. I just love to pepper my texts with some emotion here and there. I promise there's no sarcasm associated to my emojis and smileys. If i send i smiling smiley i Mean It. I also add !!!! To them if I'm particularly excited. Tone tags are confusing to me, I don't use them.

Regarding The Me: I'm queer and weird about it! My gender is completely not my business, it's up to you to gender me. Also I'm an Artist and creator at heart, so i draw a lot, i like sculpting things with clay and foam, i love doing collages, i like playing my guitar and sometimes i write fucked up things for fun because it's Fun, tho i wouldn't call myself a writer. I'm diagnosed audhd. I'm weird and not in a cutesy way sometimes, but at least I'm funny about it i think!

I'm uhhhh a med student with a background in AG/rural sciences (vetmed + fishing) which ig is kinda funny. The funniest thing about me is I'm an honest to god fishing technician. I have a fucking diploma in fishing. I have no idea how or why, it still baffles me!! I have plenty thoughts on the ag/fishing field as a whole and a bit of experience with Some Things. I've worked in a few labs and written and published a few papers and I've wanted to be a Real Scientist when i grew up since i was a kid :)

I think that's about it.

I'm a bit shy, reverb though nobody believes me when i day it! But please feel free to send an ask asking for my discord if you'd like to chat. My messages are off for nonmutuals because I'm tired of getting spambots. One thing i MUST state upfront if you'd like to talk to me and be friends: i likely have a personality disorder (avpd, extreme anxiety regarding Connecting to People) but I'm working on it! I'm trying to get better at talking about myself and my interests and socializing, so don't blame yourself if our conversations fall flat. Talking and initiating conversations with people is Hard, but I'm alright at keeping conversations going if you tell me about your likes and dislikes or if you wanna do small talk! My cheat sheet is: Talk to me about your favorite weather, your timezone, what you like learning more about, about your country and culture or your favorite types of music and your favorite bands! Tell me about yourself, please!!! I'm told i can be really cool to talk to if we get to know each other, I'm told I'm a very trusting, agreeable and judgementless individual. I like to believe that is true. To be fair, I'm eager to make new friends and learn more about people and we'll bond over something, I'm absolutely sure 🥰.

I have a lot of blogs. Like a LOT. I'm not going to link them all here, but they ARE linked to my main somewhere. Probably. Have fun collecting them all or something. It's way too many.

Updated: 8.nov.24

[evelili]

3, 12, 17, 23, 26, 31, 33 for the fanfic ask meme?

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

my magnum opus lol. hands down no contest best thing ive ever written (so far)

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

i dont think so? ive ofc got plenty of one-page docs that never made it past the first sit-down, but if i finish something ill post it. i dont rlly have any shame or regrets toward what i make, even if im not 100% satisfied, bc ill just do even better next time ^^

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

none of them!! im proud of all my fics and think they should all be the Best Rated Ever :3

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

ough i dont wanna embarrass anyone but if youve ever left a long, heartfelt review on my magnum opus chances are i have it saved into a folder of “lili’s most precious memories” on my pc lol

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

it makes me happy when ppl tell me they resonate with a character and their decisions! because, writing is a transient experience, so for me to put some sort of feeling into a story and express it through a character, and then have someone understand that character, it’s a very nice feeling of being seen ^^

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

in one hand i have pinkie pie and in the other i have rarity and both are equally close to causing my premature death lmao

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

hmmm i dont think so? in general my stuff ends up longer than i set out for it to be, but that’s mostly due to improving my pacing like i talked about in a previous ask. if something really does end up too long, it usually gets caught in the editing process and cut back down to reasonable haha

thanks for the ask! it’s nice to talk about this kind of stuff more :D

[forthegothicheroine]

Horror novel recommendations

@allthestoriescantbelies​ asked for horror novel recommendations, so I thought I’d throw one together to post on the blog! Largely focused on non-gothic stuff since I’ve already made a gothic lit list over here.

As a general warning, all horror books listed here will have potentially triggering material. If you want more specific trigger warnings, you can ask me or see if people have listed them on goodreads or storygraph.

My Best Friend’s Exorcism by Grady Hendrix: I know you’ve read this, but I’m putting it on the list because it is one of the scariest books I’ve ever read, about a teenage girl in trouble and the only other girl willing to help her. I’m told the movie makes it much more straightforwardly comic rather than horror-with-jokes, which disappoints me. I’m a big fan of Hendrix in general, though I know you (and plenty of others!) find him hit-or-miss.

Red Dragon by Thomas Harris: Another one I believe you’ve read, but for reference, it’s the best serial killer thriller I’ve ever read. Francis Dolarhyde is a much more interesting character than Hannibal Lecter, I will die on this hill.

We Will All Go Down Together by Gemma Files: Centuries ago, the Five Family Coven made a deal with the Fairy Queen, and their descendants have been doomed ever since. I could have just as easily recommended Files’ book Experimental Film- if you like one, read the other as well.

The Drowning Girl by Caitlin R. Kiernan: A schizophrenic woman has two different memories of her ex-girlfriend and the horror that followed her- was she a werewolf, a mermaid, or were both memories wrong? This is Kiernan at her most heartfelt and most accessible; if you like this and want to try her grosser stuff, read The Very Best of Caitlin R. Kiernan.

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski: A haunted house in a haunted film in a haunted memoir, written in a work of visual art. I won’t blame anyone who bounces off this, but give it a try!

Carrie by Stephen King: If you’re only going to read one Stephen King, make it either Carrie or Misery. I don’t feel like any film adaptations have captured all the aspects of this tragedy about a girl who deserved a better life and the town who didn’t save her while there was still a chance, including the epistolary format.

Rolling in the Deep by Mira Grant: This novella was followed up by Into the Drowning Deep, but I found Rolling in the Deep much scarier. It’s brisk and high-tension to watch a semi-fake documentary team put together, piece by piece, just what the monsters are that pursue them.

Dark Harvest by Norman Partridge: The Great Pumpkin, but scary! Seriously, though, if you are willing to accept the concept of a boy with a pumpkin head and a knife and a yearly child sacrifice, this is short and a lot of fun.

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones: Just an elk killed when some kids were blowing off steam. Just an elk damning the rest of their lives. (Jones’s My Heart is a Chainsaw was too sad for me to recommend as a favorite, but I am curious about the sequel.)

The Wolfen by Whitley Striber: I wanted to include a good werewolf novel on this list, and The Wolfen wins by far for interesting creature design. (The runner up was The Last Werewolf by Glen Duncan.)

The Auctioneer by Joan Samson: A very atypical entry on this list, closer to Twin Peaks than your average thriller. A rural town is turned into a capitalist police state when a slick salesman comes to see what they’ll allow him to do. It turns out, it’s a lot.

The Drive-In by Joe R. Lansdale: The only “splatterpunk” I’ve ever loved, this is an absurdist nightmare about a southern drive-in crowd who get stuck in a world with only the movie screens and each other, turning into literal and figurative monsters. Usually published with the sequel, since both are short, though I didn’t like the latter as much. If you like it, read one of Lansdale’s short story collections.

As always, reblog with suggestions of your own!

[shadysadie]

Papa Noceda meets Wittedad

A fanfic based on @emerald-entrails-hunter‘s Wittedad Timepool AU, which lives in my head rent free now, so thanks for that.

It had been a few months since Manny and Camila had moved to Gravesfield, and Manny was still unsure what he wanted to do with the abandoned cabin on the edge of their new property. He considered turning it into a workshop for making more advanced cosplay, the kind that required stuff like resin and needed days to dry. But Camila rightfully pointed out that until they had kids there was plenty of room for that kind of stuff in the basement, and the cabin didn’t have electricity, so it would make for a terrible workshop. Still, it felt wrong to continue to let the old cabin rot, it was as old as the town itself according to the real estate agent. Perhaps he could talk to someone at the Gravesfield Historical Society about fixing it up and turning it into a little museum for the colonial walking tours, there seemed to be a lot of those in this part of the country.

But any plans Manny had for the cabin were just that at the moment, plans. Right now he had his hands full settling down to his new job as an editor for a small book publisher. Camila started working for the local vet clinic. And as newly weds they had other things on their mind. So as things were, the most attention Manny could spare for the old cabin was his daily walk-through to chase off any possums or raccoons that were nesting in the walls, Camila was adamantly against the idea of setting up traps, even if they were no-kill. So as a result the pests would always come back immediately after Manny chased them off with a broom. He was pretty sure they were laughing at him behind his back, but if it kept Camila happy, Manny was happy (even if the whole thing did feel rather sisyphean).

He was just heading out for one of his sweeps when he heard something far different than the scratching of a raccoon. He paused, wondering if his ears were deceiving him. But they weren't. He could hear the distinct sound of a baby crying. Followed by someone shushing. Perhaps the rational response would have been to back away and contact the police, but his curiosity was stronger than his caution. He pushed open the door of the cabin.

Manny heard someone's breath catch in fear. The morning sun crept through the holes in the roof, but the corners of the room were still shadowed. It took Manny only a few moments to pinpoint the source of the crying. There was a man, huddled down in the corner, half hidden under a dark hooded cloak. He was desperately trying to soothe the wailing, wiggling bundle in his arms.

"This is private property." Manny announced, though it was difficult to harbor any anger towards the squatter once Manny got close enough to get a good look at him. The guy looked ragged, several large cuts marred his face, presumably more were hidden under dirty gauze. His skin was dirty and he had heavy bags under his eyes. He was dressed like a historical reenactor, but his clothes were in terrible condition. The baby didn’t seem to be in much better shape. His blanket looked more like a rag, and his little body was wrapped in bandages. “¡Dios mío! What have you been through, Buddy?”

The man looked too frightened to respond right away. He cowered away from Manny, curling himself protectively around the baby. Manny realized he was still holding the broom he used to chase possums, which must have seemed like a weapon. He put it aside and held up his hands.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Manny promised. “You look like you could use some help.”

The man looked uncertain for a moment. There was a chirp and he looked over at a small red cardinal perched nearby. The man must have decided that he didn’t have many options at this point other than to trust the person in front of him.

“He is hungry.” The man said, with a look of desperation, “But I have nothing to feed him. Do you perchance have a cow or goat that could spare some milk?”

“No goats, no. But there is a super market down the street, I could probably manage to find you some formula.”

“Formula?” He looked confused.

“You know, baby formula. Synthetic milk.”

“Such a thing exists? Then if you could aid me in acquiring some, good sir, I would be forever in your debt.”

Manny wondered if this guy could have possibly run away from an Amish or Mennonite community, that would explain his clothes.

“You wait here, I’ll be back."

Manny ran to the store, he picked up a few bottles, some formula, diapers, a first aid kit, and a deli sandwich. The man was still in the cabin when he got back.

"Here, try this." Manny handed him the bottle. The baby resisted it for a moment, but as soon as he realized there was food in it, he instantly calmed down and started suckling on it. The man let out an exhausted sigh of relief.

"Thank you, my friend. I know not how I can ever repay you.”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m not about to let a baby starve if I can help it. My name’s Manuel Noceda, but you can call me Manny, everyone else does.”

“I am called Caleb Witte…er…Clawthorne, Caleb Clawthorne.” Manny raised an eyebrow but didn’t bring attention to the fact the man was clearly trying to hide his last name.

“Nice to meet you, Caleb. Does the little one have a name?”

“Hunter.”

Hunter was sucking down the milk so quickly he collapsed the nipple of the bottle. When he opened his mouth to cry in protest of the food stopping it refilled and he resumed drinking. Manny wondered how long it had been since the baby had gotten any food in him.  

"Here," Manny offered Caleb the Sandwich, "you look like you could use a bite to eat as well. I also got a first aid kit, when you're done eating you can clean and re-wrap your injuries."

"Thank you."

"So where are you from? How did you end up here?"

"I doubt you would believe me if I told you."

"I'll believe just about anything if it's a good enough story."

Caleb seemed to consider this. Hunter finished his bottle and fell asleep. The cardinal flew over down from its perch and settled on the sleeping baby. Manny had never seen a bird act that way before.

"I used to live here." Caleb said, "It was the only place I could think of to come back to."

"Here as in Gravesfield? Or Connecticut?"

"This house."

Manny blinked, "This house has been abandoned since the 40s."

Caleb looked shocked, "No one has lived here since the 1640s?"

"What? No, the 1940s."

"Surely you jest, have I really arrived in the 1900s?"

That was strange, Manny and Camila had visited Amish country during their honeymoon, and yes, they lived without modern technology, but they still knew the date. Maybe he wasn't Amish after all, maybe he escaped from a cult or something like that.

"Buddy, it's 2004."

"What?"

"See, look." Manny pulled the receipt from the bag. Printed neatly under the name MinuteMart was the date June 3, 2004.

Caleb shook his head, wide-eyed in disbelief, "400 years…"

Manny felt a pang of sympathy for the man. Definitely a cult survivor, he decided, some strange cult that must have convinced its members it was back in the 1600s for some Godforsaken reason.

"Listen, I don't know what you're going through, but I'm not using this old shack anyways, if you're willing to help me fix it up you can stay here until you figure out what you're going to do next."

"Do you mean that?"

"Of course, you seem like you’ll be less trouble than the raccoons.”

Caleb smiled with tears in his eyes. Manny wasn’t sure if letting a strange run away cult member live in his backyard was the wisest decision he ever made, but somehow, he knew he wouldn’t regret the decision.

[jollmaster]

Good evening. I’ll say right away, don’t think anything bad. I have good intentions. Just want to say that if you get carried away by some fandom, even like hazbin (can't stand him, sorry), you shouldn’t forget about others, especially about the community that you are the creator of. (noticed from published questions that I'm not the only one waiting for your creativity) I understand that you are tired of all this shit, but this is your audience, which is always waiting for you and enjoys new posts, and it doesn’t matter what it is: memes, drawings or headcanons. (and yes, how great it was to read your new fanfic a few years later, oh) You cannot answer my quite simple question for more than a week, but damn hazbin (sorry [2]). Drawings based on this fandom and headcanons for them are, of course, interesting, that’s true. Much better and more interesting than the original characters. I just really don't want you to leave our fandom. You have done so much for it and for us. I don't know if they sent you anything else, but in any case, our interest in these damn headcanons is understandable. You know the fandom well enough, and therefore people are interested and important to know your opinion. (moreover, I know that you have a friend-helper from your community, which, I'm sure, will help you) I really don’t want to think that you are ignoring or indifferent. Sorry for this long letter. Don't consider it rude or offensive. It's just frustrating. Best wishes from Extreme Fandom. Don't forget about us, please. We miss and love you. *there should be some sad music in the background or a old meme with a sad man on the beach, huh*

okaaay, let's begin, because I'm annoyed a bit

I’ll say right away, don’t think anything bad. I have good intentions.

there are plenty of people with good intentions

Just want to say that if you get carried away by some fandom, even like hazbin (can't stand him, sorry), you shouldn’t forget about others, especially about the community that you are the creator of.

okay

firstly, my active GoaT-phase was about three or four years ago, and I've touched on a VERY fair amount of fandoms (Dragon Age, Elder Scrolls, Kingdom Come, Mario Bros, Cyperpunk 2077, little else); if you're only interested in one thing (that isn't the biggest thing) for a few years, you're stagnating

secondly, it's not my trouble if you don't like some of things, because I create all content for free, and it's up to me to decide what I want to create

thirdly, I don't like Medrano's HH, but I'm burning now

fourth, I haven't made agreements with anyone to produce content, I'm just a dude on the internet who does random stuff and things

just deal with it, please

I understand that you are tired of all this shit, but this is your audience, which is always waiting for you and enjoys new posts, and it doesn’t matter what it is: memes, drawings or headcanons.

I appreciate the attention from everyone else who is also interested in GoaT (really, thank you all so much 💕), but specifically you should remember that as an artist I do what I want to do at the moment (and at the moment I'm not burning for GoaT actively)

and you can accept this or unfollow me :)

and yes, how great it was to read your new fanfic a few years later, oh

thanks a lot :D

and trust me, I'd love feedback specifically under the works (if you like this ofc), not in such anonymous semi-accusatory way

You cannot answer my quite simple question for more than a week, but damn hazbin (sorry [2]).

because it's my own blog, and because I'm working person, and because I have a lot of another hyperfixations, and because I'm not in GoaT hardly now, huh?

Drawings based on this fandom and headcanons for them are, of course, interesting, that’s true. Much better and more interesting than the original characters.

thank you really 🫂

I just really don't want you to leave our fandom. You have done so much for it and for us. I don't know if they sent you anything else, but in any case, our interest in these damn headcanons is understandable. You know the fandom well enough, and therefore people are interested and important to know your opinion.

I wrote a lot above ☝️

moreover, I know that you have a friend-helper from your community, which, I'm sure, will help you

dude

don't touch Sophie, she also has personal interests, problems, hyperfixes, not only GoaT

just

don't touch

Sorry for this long letter. Don't consider it rude or offensive. It's just frustrating.

it was rude, chill, a bit rude

Best wishes from Extreme Fandom. Don't forget about us, please. We miss and love you.

I also love you all 💕 [2] but I have other interests and let's be honest, I'm under no obligation to support the fandom 24/7

btw GoaT in my heart after all this time, always

[prezine]

Announcing: PreZine, a fanzine for the Precure series!

Hello, tumblr!

I don't wanna waste anyone's time, so I'll cut to the chase: I'm trying to put together a Precure fanzine with community contribution. You can find a submission form here, with plenty of detail about what I'm looking for. If you want more detail, keep reading.

My name's Nick, and I'm a huge fan of the Precure series. Each season varies in quality—there are some I love almost completely, some that disappointed me immensely, and a lot somewhere in between. I've watched on my own, introduced friends and family to the show, have the soundtracks on my phone to listen to, I've bought figures and other merch while visiting Japan... I like it a lot.

I've never actually interacted much with the fandom, though. I'm awkward when it comes to joining new communities, and tend to lurk more than I actively contribute. Recently, though, I had an idea. See, I love analyzing things I like. And things I don't like. And Precure is full of both of those things. I've also been mildly interested in webzine culture and the idea of creating some of my own. The writing is fun, and I've wanted to get better at layout work, so doing a little Precure fanzine could be quite a lot of fun!

But... it's not really "interacting" with the community if I'm just writing my own thoughts and throwing them at you, telling you to read them. I'd rather get folks involved! Details can be found further down, but the gist of what I'm doing here is that I want to gather volunteers for a free fanzine I'll be publishing. It might wind up being a single issue, or keep going for some time—we'll just have to see how things go. The zine will be freely available and not behind a paywall, but I will have a ko-fi set up to take donations. Proceeds will go towards paying contributors first, before I touch any part of them. I don't expect a high volume of donations or anything, but whatever I do get I want to go towards the continued success of the project, and that means making an attempt to fairly compensate those who contribute.

To that end, any contribution—whether it be an article, piece of visual media (art, cosplay, etc.), or something else I decide would be a good fit—will provisionally be worth $50. If we get enough donations on Ko-fi to fully pay those tabs, then they will be fully paid. If we get less, then each month I'll divvy up the money based on percentages of contribution, up until (hopefully) all contributors are fully paid.

To be clear, once again: the zine will be completely free, and I have no budget for this at the moment, so any and all payment will be dependent on folks donating us money. I strongly desire to pay every contributor, but at the time being it's best to view this as a volunteer passion project with payment as a distant possibility.

Now, what are we looking for? Well, all of the information below will also be found on the linked form for submission pitches, but...

Articles

I've already written first drafts of two articles, which I've linked as samples down below. What you write doesn't have to be in the same style or vein as mine, but at least that can give you a bit of an idea of what's guaranteed to be included already. Currently, what I'm looking for specifically are:

Characters that have influenced you

Musical analysis

Original Precure fiction

If you have ideas for things not on this list, you can also pitch those within the form.

Visual Media

I have no art at the moment. As this is a zine about a property I do not own, I am absolutely going to avoid using official art. I can decorate with other images I have the rights to, but to give it that actual Precure aesthetic, having visual media submissions would help a lot.

For the time being, I'm looking for:

Drawings

Cosplay photos

As with the articles, you can also pitch stuff not on this list.

Graphic Design

This isn't on the form, but if you've got any graphic design experience... well, you can see by looking at our Twitter or the avatar for this blog that graphic design isn't my passion. I think I do okay when it comes to layouts, but covers/avatars/timeline pics... not so much. PM me, here or on Twitter, if you wanna take a crack at addressing any of our graphic design needs. You will be compensated for your time in the same way as all other contributors.

So, if you're interested in contributing, here is the submission form once again. You can also check out my two samples, found here. They will be edited, so this isn't their final form, but they are roughly what I'm contributing in terms of writing.

And lastly, our Ko-fi can be found here.

If you have any questions I haven't addressed here or in the form, ask away!

[misc-obeyme]

I'm back already I-

But please hear me out.

I was writing another chapter for my fanfic in Wattpad yesterday (It's basically the OG OM! game rewritten, but with more scenes, more logic(?), more insight on the bonds between characters and added HCs.) I'm currently doing Lesson 1!

For this I watch gameplays bcs of course I'm too lazy to play all over again and I haven't even finished the game myself-

Anyways, while watching, Lucifer mentions tasks. In-game, he already knows that the tasks are dance battles. And well I didn't like that.

What if Lucifer didn't know about dance battles? What if he had set up much different tasks, aiding to 'polish MC's soul', which was said to be MC's task?

That's exactly what I did.

But I don't plan on mentioning what the actual tasks are (bcs my imagination ran out yesterday and I already published the chapter)

What do you think the actual tasks could have been?

PS: Have fun next week! Relax and enjoy your days off!

- 📻

Don't worry about your ask box frequency, it's all good! I get people who go months between asks and then there are people who go minutes between asks lol.

Anyway, I have to commend anyone who has the patience to do a canon story rewrite like that. Just thinking about it makes me want to take a nap. It was difficult for me when I was writing Arrie's story, too. Because I felt like I had to incorporate him into the existing story, but I didn't want to rewrite the whole thing. So I kinda glossed over most of it lol. Like here are some extra scenes and there's like one that I redid, but for the most part I just skipped over that stuff.

So all that is to say that I'm impressed with your dedication to such a project! It's probably way better than canon, too!

Let's see, so tasks that could potentially polish MC's soul in place of the dance battles?

I mean it's hard to say what exactly is needed to polish MC's soul, you know? The game doesn't give us the mechanics of that particular situation.

Initially, I would think it would have more to do with the Celestial Realm than anything...

But perhaps it's more about just... not doing things that could tarnish the soul (such as the sins) and then possibly doing things like good deeds to polish it?

It happens naturally any time MC does something nice for someone, which is probably all the time considering how nice the generic OM MC is.

But if you had to have like... have actual tasks? Maybe it's just stuff like organizing Lucifer's paperwork for him or making sure that Beel always has a snack handy so he doesn't rampage. Helping Mammon with his debt, talking Levi out of his self hatred, etc etc. Like I think the tasks would be related to each of the brothers in some way.

Or you could go more like... magic-centered and say that MC has to do something like various spells to polish their soul in a more literal sense.

I kinda like the idea of tricking the system lol. Like hang on, we can just use magic and now it's like MC has the shiniest soul ever! Why do I feel like Solomon would help with this if you wanted to do it that way?

And thank you, I am definitely looking forward to my days off! I'm hoping to get plenty of writing done too~

[world-of-fire-and-flight]

The Lair in the Woods: Part 10

A/N: I’M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT, Y’ALL😭💜 Life’s been busy, but it’s all good stuff (okay well, not all of it but like 90% of it cause life is life and it’s not perfect😂) Good news: book 2 is published, formatting for book 3 is well under way, and I love the job I started around the time of my last update😎 Bad news: I have no idea what free time is anymore (hence my overall disappearance from social media aside from scheduled posts and the dramatic decline in my interactions on here and the actual hellsites)😵

Warnings: reference to being stalked, deception, reference to anxiety, reference to potential murder, hidden identity, some swearing…I think that’s it?? If I missed anything, please let me know😊

My Masterlist | Taglist Info or Taglist Request Form | The Lair in the Woods masterlist

Supervillain wiped their hands dry on a kitchen towel without much thought to the action. Their mind was too preoccupied by Civilian.

More specifically, speculations about who their stalker might be wholly consumed their mind until their phone buzzing on the counter broke their concentration. Setting the towel aside, Supervillain’s brows drew together as they read the caller ID.

“And here I thought I’d have to call you,” they said quietly.

“Yeah, well,” Hero said, “it’s considered professional courtesy to keep each other informed, so don’t get used to it because once we find Civilian Surname’s stalker, this ends and I go back to investigating you.”

Supervillain hummed. “Then I suppose we needn’t drag this out any longer, because I’d rather not get too close to one of the Agency’s pawns.”

They didn’t have to see Hero to know the look on their face. They’d seen it plenty enough times when they’d goaded them in the past—truth be told though, that felt like another lifetime now. Supervillain’s smirk only grew sharper at the tension in Hero’s voice when they replied.

“Very funny,” they said, “but I have better things to do with my time than investigate something so—”

Supervillain’s smirk fell. “Hero, we had an agreement, you said—”

“And there it is.” The Hero’s grin was irritatingly audible, causing Supervillain to clench their jaw as they could see the expression as clear as day in their mind. “We do have an agreement, which is why I’m calling you in the first place. I just hope reminding you that this is a partnership for Civilian’s sake isn’t going to be a recurring thing because I do have better things to do with my time that isn’t rubbing elbows with a wanted criminal.”

Supervillain let out the breath they’d been holding in an effort to stop themselves from snapping at Hero. “What did you find?”

“That’s better. So anyway, I formally adopted the case and took a look, but as far as I can tell, the police investigation is as thorough as it can be. Whoever Civlian’s stalker is, they’re either a professional or have a little extra help, maybe both. I’ve gotta ask,” Hero started, taking a breath, “who are they again?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Supervillain mumbled. Pinching the bridge of their nose, Supervillain turned around and leaned against the counter. Just as they went to respond, a shadow of movement caught their attention. Their eyes flicked toward the movement in time to see Civilian quietly slinking into the living room and sitting back down by the fire. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see what I can find and have Right Hand send you what they’ve dug up thus far.”

“Wait, what do you me—”

Supervillain didn’t let them finish, hanging up and shoving their phone in their pocket.

Making certain their footfalls were heavy enough that Civilian could hear them coming but soft enough that they wouldn’t startle them, Supervillain joined them, sitting in their favorite armchair and offering them a smile.

“Feeling better?”

Civilian met their gaze. “Yeah, actually. I think I am.” They paused, glancing about uncertainly. Nibbling on their lip, Civilian’s eyes slowly gravitated back toward them. “Was that your contact, in the city?”

“It was,” Supervillain nodded. “They told me that they’ve started looking into your case and confirmed that the investigation conducted by the local PD was at least thorough.”

Civilian bobbed their head, though their face remained unchanged. Supervillain studied them curiously.

“So what does that mean for me?”

“Well…” Supervillain began hesitantly, “maybe you could help me? Do you mind if I ask you some questions about your life, your routine, the people you know, things of that nature?”

Civilian drew their knees up to their chest and wrapped their arms around them. They still looked exhausted, but behind their eyes was a spark. Supervillain wondered if that meant they were ready to start fighting instead of trying to outrun their stalker.

If so, that was good.

Better than good, it was perfect, actually.

Already, a plan began to bloom in Supervillain’s mind as they asked about anything that could help shed a light to help guide their own investigation.

***

Hero stared at their phone with a frown. Whoever Civilian was, they’d certain changed Supervillain. But now they knew Supervillain didn’t know Civilian Surname. That as much was true.

That’s what I’m trying to figure out, they’d said, sounding just as confused and in the dark as Hero was.

Over and over again, their question and Supervillain’s unguarded response echoed in their head. But it wasn’t as simple as who was Civilian Surname. What really mattered was, how?

How did Civilian catch their stalker’s eye? What made their stalker drawn to them? Where had they first seen Civilian? And when had they chosen to stalk Civilian? How many times had they seen them before that decision was made?

The place they’d first seen or had been in contact with Civilian was perhaps the most important in Hero’s opinion. If they could just narrow it down to that, then maybe they could narrow down a list of suspects specific to that particular facet of Civilian’s life.

Shaking their head, Hero pulled their coat back on and grabbed their keys. They’d just barely have enough time to pick up some coffee before their meeting with Detective…and still be five minutes early like Detective liked. So help the fool that that showed up late. Hero learned that the hard way one time. It didn’t matter that they’d stopped Other Villain from melting Central Museum’s vault and stealing the Precious Artifact worth millions on the black market that could’ve funded their world domination plan, all Detective had cared about was the disrespect they’d shown them by being late.

And so began the vicious cycle of Detective returning the courtesy by making Hero’s job as difficult as possible for the next two weeks until Hero finally decided to show up an hour early and sat and waited for Detective outside their office to get a records release form signed.

Hero hadn’t thought Detective would come around after that, but as it turned out they were both spitefully petty.

Ever since then, they’d had one hell of a working relationship and tight-knit friendship.

“Well, well, well, look who’s early. I wish all my caped partners were as punctual.”

Hero pressed a hand to their chest in mock offense. “Detective, are you working with other heroes behind my back?”

“What can I say,” Detective sighed, taking the coffee Hero offered them, “someone’s got to do your grunt work and we all know that when Other Detective does the paperwork, it’s never admissible in court because they don’t do it right.”

“Vigilante case fell through again?” Hero sat on the edge of Detective’s desk as they resumed their seat.

Detective groaned in response. “Don’t even get me started. It’s like they want the case thrown out.”

“Have you ever wonder—”

“Every. Single. Time.” Detective’s face turned to stone. Their eyes withdrew, focusing on whatever internal thoughts were flitting through their head.

“Well Supervillain owes me a favor,” Hero said quickly, taking an innocuous sip of coffee.

“What?” Detective shot up and slammed their hands on their desk, nearly toppling over their coffee cup and the precarious stacks of paperwork scattered across their desk. “You mean Supervillain, the most ruthless criminal that’s always one step ahead of the law and probably has dossiers on all of us, owes you a favor because you promised to help their precious civilian?”

“Isn’t that what I just said?”

Detective rolled their eyes. “Wow. So, Supervillian gave away one of the most powerful chips in the caped community—no, the entire professional world regardless of profession—to the likes of you.” Detective plopped back down in their seat with a crooked smile. “This has got to be the worst week of their career!” Detective sobered, “Well, this and when Partner dropped off the face of the earth. That’s another one I can’t seem to find. It’s like they’re a ghost.”

Hero’s brows furrowed. They dropped their gaze to the floor. “They’re probably dead. I’ll bet all I have that Supervillain killed them and that’s why you can’t find a body. There probably isn’t one, if Supervillain’s reputation is anywhere near accurate.”

Detective threw their head back laughing.

“You’re probably right! There’s no way Supervillain would let someone, anyone, walk away. I guess you’ll just have to do a little digging for me while you’re working with them to catch Civilian’s stalker.”

“I’ll do my best, but no promises, Detective.”

“And that’s what I like about working with you,” they said, motioning for them to hand over the copies of Civilian’s files Hero had made up for them. “You don’t have a super-inflated ego or think that I’m somehow lesser than you just because I haven’t got a cape and mask and glowing hands or whatever.”

“Superhero again?”

“YES!” Detective burst, “If the media knew half the shit I do about them, they’d drag Supes through town square like they deserve.”

“Or I could make sure back up shows up a little late and they take a few more punches to the face from Other Supervillain?”

“I would love that,” Detective smiled, scanning the pages before them. “This is it? This is all we have to work with?”

Hero nodded. “Supervillain said they’d have Right Hand send over what they’ve got so far.”

“It’s a start, I guess,” Detective grumbled, “If we manage to find their stalker and bring them to justice, it’ll be nothing short of a miracle.”

Hero didn’t bother to agree. Whatever Supervillain was scheming in order to catch Civilian’s stalker, they only hoped it ended the whole affair sooner rather than later, like before anyone had a chance to connect the dots.

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