#and part of me still thinks that this 'end game' won't be worth it

[nbstevonnie]

really unsure where i stand on baba is you

[a-sound-sol]

I recently had a tooth removed and my dentist advised me on many things but what I found funny was her saying "no kissing for a month" I found myself wondering how a couple would deal with this.

A scenario with LoV X Reader reacting and dealing with the news of no kiss for a month XD + them taking care of the reader

I love your work <3

oh i looove this one!! and thank you <3

NO KISSES FOR A MONTH!

ft. LoV

Shigaraki

He doesn't believe you at first, he thinks you're punishing him for something. Until he tries to kiss you and you wince in pain, then he's like o h, you're serious.

Then he subtly takes care of you. He comes home one day with ice packs and heating pads to help with the swelling. He makes the rest of the League deal with freezing and heating them up, but he always delivers them directly to you. He won't let you lift a finger unless you have to. He puts Kurogiri in charge of assisting you whenever you need it while he's gone, which barely happens bc he never wants to leave your side when you need him. He falls asleep on a couch next to your bed during the day, and always ends up spooning you at night <3

Dabi

He's PISSED about no kisses. He pouts about it literally all day. But when you start to complain about how in pain you are, he drops everything to help you. He'll hand feed you your meds and he'll tell Shigaraki he's off duty until you're better. He refuses to leave your side, such a needy guy. He makes you soup because that's easier to eat, and he'll blow on it to cool it down before feeding it to you - and yes, he indeed does feed it to you on a spoon. He'll keep you warm and safe, no matter what.

He's not great with the no kisses rule, so he kisses your forehead and nose and temples frequently. He just can't help himself. <3

Twice

He understands no kisses but he also DESPISES it!! He personally wants to talk to the dentist and tell them off!! But he also wants to shake their hand and thank them for taking care of you. In regards to that, he's somehow both the most gentle and the most distant. But he explains to you it's only because he can't stop himself from wanting to kiss you whenever he sees you! Still makes sure you know how loved you are, waits on you at every hour. He worries about you so much !! <33

Toga

Oh no kisses? No problem for our vampy girl! She gives you love in so many other ways. She cuddles and holds you, basically carrying you throughout the house starting when you came home from surgery. She's adamant that she can take care of you - almost to a fault. She starts to forget to take care of herself a little bit. You make sure to cover her in blankets when she passes out from exhaustion, and you end up taking care of her more than anything. <3

Spinner

He's a sweet guy, so of course he's not going to tell you how upset he is about not getting to kiss you. He looks disappointed at first, but then he realizes that means he has to show his affection through other ways. He taste tests all your food first so that they're soft and smooth enough for you to eat. He spends the days in bed with you playing video games while you rest, and he always ALWAYS makes sure that the room temperature is perfect for you. <3

Compress

Oh he's absolutely the most dramatic about it. While he understands you must heal, how can he NOT smooch those lips??? He spends the entire time trying to figure out a way to kiss your lips without it hurting you. Him and his silly magic - he actually attempts to hypnotize you just so that he could get away with it still - but he remembered how worth the wait it would be to be able to kiss you without you being in pain. He spends the rest of the time entertaining you with his whimsical stories <3

Kurogiri

Kissing isn't really a big part of your relationship, so he doesn't care entirely about that. What he DOES care about is how much pain you're in, and he wonders if he can transport the pain away from you. He hates seeing you sad, and does his best to take care of you. He brings you to the prettiest mountaintop to pass the time while you heal. He sets up a picnic for you both and you sit in silence together, happily. You're kinda glad you had surgery! <3

Magne

She's a bit mad about it, but she gets over it quickly when she realizes that the sooner you heal, the more kisses she'll get! She also waits on you hand and foot, she's sure to make sure to try and anticipate your needs before you even know what they are. If there's one thing she's gonna do, it's protect you from the stupid shit you usually do that causes you to get hurt (tripping is the number one thing). She will rush in to catch you everytime, and call you a ditz while kissing your cheek and carrying you to wherever you were headed! <3

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Okay so thought would Astarion just be uber happy if tav is just clinging to him and is like let me stay here where it is safe for just a little longer pleaseee

I think I'm feeling the energy. And it's an actual drabble instead of a novel! Cw: In-game references, spoilers, but this is just some fluffy fluff fluff.

~

When Astarion made the decision to seduce you, it had been based in cold rationality. In the short time he had known you, you had proven to be intelligent, capable, attractive enough for sex to not feel like a total burden, and extremely hard to kill. Using a falsified relationship to wrap you around his finger was the easy choice for survival. And it did work, with varying results.

Because you provided many, many complications. Like the unfortunate reality that Astarion quickly had grown sincerely fond of you. Not only were you impressively competent, you were fun. Hilariously bitchy in a way that never failed to make him laugh. But you were still kind, kind in a meaningful way that Astarion was simply not used to.

It had felt like a shock when you were so adamant about his right to be his own person. When you didn't make him bite that drow cretin he was struck with the realization that you actually cared about him. What that thing had been offering in return would no doubt have been useful to your journey, but you didn't even give it a second thought. And Astarion wouldn't soon forget how you saying, "He said no," with so much conviction had sent a shiver up his spine.

Perhaps the whole event sent him into a tailspin that ended with him admitting his, in-hindsight, horrible plan, but it had been worth it in the end. Gods knows why, but you didn't abandon him when he revealed the truth. You just listened. You listened and opened up your mind for him to see just how much you cared for him. A care he perhaps didn't deserve, but one he would take. Even if he had no idea what the two of you were doing anymore.

But he did know that something shifted in your relationship after that, the birth of a new kind of trust. Apparently, Astarion hadn't been the only one holding back.

Because seemingly overnight, you got a lot more touchy. A facet of yourself that he really had not seen coming. Not sexually, no. You had been nothing but a dream when it came to understanding the hang-ups he had with that particular topic. But you did suddenly decide that you loved holding hands. You loved hugging him, for no reason at all. The two of you went from the occasional night together before parting ways to simply sharing a tent. And gods were you a cuddler. Every morning he would wake up with you wrapped around him, peaceful and at ease as you slept in his arms.

And... it was nice. Really, really nice. Astarion had always assumed that he would loathe being with someone who was so tactile. But it turned out when every little touch wasn't leading to mediocre and/or horrifying sex they were actually quite enjoyable. It felt good to have you so close, to know that you felt safe and comfortable with him of all people. Nice enough for Astarion to slowly get addicted to it. He wasn't quite sure when his favorite past time became reading while you laid on top of him, but he knew it claimed to top spot with startlingly speed.

Even now, with Cazador still looming, the tadpoles still squirming behind your eyes, worries and responsibilities abound, Astarion felt completely at peace. He was laying flat on his back on his bed roll, a book in one hand and the other carefully petting your hair as you dozed off; your body completely draped over him. He'd have to wake you sooner than later. Baldur's Gate was only a day's journey away now, and if you wanted to make it there before nightfall then everyone would have to get moving. He could already hear the sound of the others shuffling about.

He snapped his book shut, setting it to the side before he gently shook you, "It's time to rise and shine darling, Baldur's Gate won't be saving itself."

You mumbled as you buried your face into his chest, your words slurred, "Don't wanna. Too early."

That was another change with this newfound phase of trust. Astarion had become the only person who knew your little secret of not being a morning person. In the first few moments of wakefulness, you were at your clingiest, your whiniest, surprisingly your most honest, and arguably your most adorable state of the day. A fact that you actively hid from the rest of the group out of sheer embarrassment, but Astarion thought it was cute.

Not to mention that it made him feel special, oddly enough. That he was the only one who was allowed to see you like this; who could take care of you like this.

Astarion laughed at your response, "Tell that to the sun sweetheart. It's high-time we got going."

Despite his own words, he wasn't really doing much to move the process along. If anything he was hindering it when he wrapped his arms around you, only helping to make you more comfortable instead of less.

But then again, maybe he wasn't quite ready to let you go yet either.

You shook your head against him, your hands tightening on the fabric of his shirt, "Le'mme stay, just a little longer."

"That's easy for you to say when you're not the one to get Lae'zel's wrath," Astarion lightly argued, still making no moves to actually hurry this process along. But it was true, Lae'zel always blamed your lateness on him, her favoritism towards you blatantly obvious. The bitch. But at least she was a bitch with good taste, "I would prefer not to be murdered by a gith for being tardy."

But you were already back to being half-asleep, your internal filter completely disintegrated as you mumbled, "Feels safe here, with you. Don't wanna let it go yet. Please?"

Gods, how the in the nine hells was Astarion supposed to say no to that? He didn't. Instead the grip he had on you only tightened, the happy little sigh you let out at the movement striking him straight through the heart. He felt so... happy in that moment, through nothing more than the simplicity of holding you. Because you trusted him. You felt safe with him, which might as well have been a love confession in Astarion's world. It felt so good to have this, an intimacy that he'd been denied for centuries.

Astarion settled back, letting his own eyes close as he smiled. The others would get the two of you eventually, but until then he wasn't going anywhere. No, the two of you would be staying right here.

[andy-wm]

i'm wondering how your thesis of "idols will come out when they want" fits into your insane shadow analysis attempting to prove jimin and jungkook fucked in the middle of their travel show (amongst other things)? like do you get joy out or trying to drag someone out of a closet they might not be in? or is it something else? just curious! 😀

Hey wdcmaxy

Since you have the guts to use your name I'll respond :)

So, you read my thesis?

*Sips whisky*

Cool. And you read my insane shadow analysis too?

Hmmm... do you come here often?

Let me answer your question then.

I think we both know the shadows analysis isn't really insane - it's based on very basic earth science. Shadows grow longer as the day progresses because of the rotation of the earth on its axis. You sound reasonably literate so i assume you know this already.

I guess your description of my shadow analysis ( I think I'll name my next racehorse 'Shadow Analysis') as insane is an attempt to discredit the idea that a fair bit of time passed while Tae was out of the house? But that was kinda silly on your part. Even children know that shadows change as the day passes.

Nothing insane about it.

He was gone for hours, no debate.

Now let's move on to the fucking part, and when and how idols choose to come out.

This is actually worth discussing.

As flattered as i am that you think my tiny insignificant blog could be a game changer for anyone, let's be real.

How many people, besides yourself, do you think read my blog?

Serious question.

I'm estimating maybe 100. Double that on a good day. Maybe 300 if i write something REALLY profound which doesn't happen often.

I am way less excited about my impact on the world than you are, because I'm a realist.

BUT if by some strange twist of fate my blog came to the attention of someone whose opinion mattered (I'm not counting you, don't worry) do you think they would take it seriously? Do you REALLY imagine a random tumblr post about shadows could make someone believe that an idol was gay if they didn't already believe it?

Here's a great example of how that wouldn't happen:

You, dear reader.

You're my example.

You came here to tell me I'm speaking shit and that I should pull my head in, correct? My insane shadow analysis hasn't changed your beliefs at all. You're here, throwing a tantrum on my page, because you don't agree with what I'm saying, not because you suddenly believe it.

Or ...

Perhaps you suspect it's true and that scares you. Maybe you can't be absolutely sure I'm wrong and that's why you need to yell at me? Could that be it? Time for a bit of self reflection?

Either way, it's not going to make an iota of difference in the grand scheme of things.

We are all just dust motes floating through time and space, my friend. You dont need to worry so much. The universe is unfolding exactly as intended.

However... There are a couple of things we should agree on:

The fact is that the shadows grew long and therefore, time passed. And Tae was out for several hours. Maybe he went out for a bit of afternoon delight himself? Maybe Jimin and Jungkook played Pokemon Go all afternoon, or prayed, or practiced their English, or braided each other's hair.

Regardless of whether they did or didn't fuck, or how many times, or on what surfaces, the time still passed.

And whether I write my blog or not, people will believe what they believe. And they will be gay or they won't be gay.

And even though I never mentioned anything about them fucking in that post, whether you like it or not Jimin and Jungkook might be fucking right now, as you read this.

One last thing...

Please bear in mind, through all of this, that fucking is not the be all and end all of life. Sure its a lot of fun if you do it right but the notion that it's more meaningful than sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, or giving someone your time and energy, is bullshit.

You can have a roots-deep love for someone and never even think of fucking them. Or you can meet someone in a public toilet and have at it, and leave without even knowing their name.

Sex does not equal love. Fucking is not that big of a big deal.

Unless...

Unless you're fucking someone the patriarchy doesn't want you to fuck. Then its a major issue.

Hear me out.

The need to control who we fuck is based a patriarchal need to control material wealth.

To control material wealth, the patriarchy needs to control reproduction (so they can be sure their wealth stays with their bloodline, because wealth is built over many generations) and to do THAT they need to control womens' bodies.... and to do that, of course they need to control who women fuck. And who men fuck too!

Do you know what the ACTUAL issue is with men who like dick? They don't automatically buy into the patriarchal way of life. (where's the solidarity, lads?)

Why don't they?

Because lifelong monogamy and marriage and nuclear families don't matter as much when you're not equating love with sex, and sex with reproduction. When your goal isn't to accumulate wealth and pass it down to your children.

Same thing applies to women who love women. They aren't focused on being demure and pleasing the men in power. They aren't focused on making themselves wife material. They will challenge the status quo and maybe even (shock! horror!) decide not to have children. How the heck do you make sure your money and power stays in the family, how do you build an empire, when the women are perfectly happy having sex with each other and don't want to love, honour and obey??

And whose fault is all this?

Its got to be the damned queers, right? They're making people think there might be other ways to share your life with those you care about! That's why its important to squash down gayness whenever you can, right, wdcmaxy?

Look at them destroying the fabric of society!

If Jimin and Jungkook ARE fucking every chance they get, good for them. I hope they're balls deep and breathless, hitting all those sweet spots for each other having a really good time.

And if they're not fucking, it actually doesn't matter to me because the way they support each other and share their hearts is beautiful. (I do think they are fucking though)

Truthfully, whatever they're doing, as long as they're happy I'm happy.

Can you say the same, wdcmaxy?

Peace.

[nuria-schnee]

Dead Boy Detectives - Fic Rec List (Part 1)

I've been wanting to do a rec list for a while, and now I have found a bit of time to do so. I've read A LOT of DBD fics in the past months, so I'm gonna split this rec list so this doesn't get insanely long. Also, check the tags of the fic because I'm just adding a few for length's sake.

Anyway, let's dive in! ❤️

Run your fingers through my soul by Hse11z5 (@thenyoumaykissthebride)

| T | 3k | Tags: Love Confessions, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Feelings Realization, Miscommunication, Idiots in Love, Fluff |

“Charles-” Edwin started, his voice catching over his friend’s name. “Just let me… Can I go first, please?” Charles begged, his hands still caught up with Edwin’s. Edwin nodded and swallowed the words he wanted to let escape. “Okay. Don’t be mad. But there’s no case.” Edwin scowled and opened his mouth. Charles winced. “I said don’t be mad! Now, I had to bring you here because there’s something really important I’ve been needing to tell you for a while now and it’s that-” Charles stopped. His hands fell to his side because he no longer had Edwin’s hands to hold. One second Edwin was there and then the next he just… wasn’t. Charles looked around madly, trying to work out what had happened, what kind of magic could have caused him to just disappear in a puff of smoke. That was when he saw the small orb bobbing behind the board games. aka The One Where Charles Fucks Up His Love Confession So Badly Edwin Orbs Out.

Notes: This was the cutest thing ever. I loved it so much, I swear.

and at once i knew i was not magnificent by aletterinthenameofsanity (@aletterinthenameofsanity)

| T | 3k | Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unreliable Narrator |

The problem with being Charles Rowland- or, rather, the truth of being Charles Rowland- is that he is not somebody that people kiss because they truly want to. Or rather, because they truly want him. When he was alive, it was because girls wanted the other guys on the team and he was a decent second option. It was because girls wanted to try out kissing and he did too and why not figure out their problems together? And now that he's dead, it's more of the same, isn't it? Crystal kisses him to try to feel something. And Edwin kisses him because their mouths are close together, and Edwin has just helped Charles through his crisis about his father and Brad and Hunter, and emotions are high, and, well- It makes sense that Edwin kisses Charles right now, doesn't it? It makes sense that Edwin is testing something out, and Charles is the person he trusts to test things out with. (Edwin kisses Charles at the end of Dead Dragons. Charles thinks that Edwin is doing it for practice. Edwin will just have to correct him, won't he?)

Notes: This broke my heart in a million pieces, but it was very worth it. This fic is absolutely brilliant.

the great snogging debacle of '95 by thatgayprince (@prince-simon)

| M | 26k | Tags: First Kiss, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, Disguise, Gender Fuckery, Near Sex Experience, Charles Rowland Has ADHD (DCU), Bisexual Charles Rowland (DCU), Internalized Homophobia, Canon Compliant, Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse |

London, 1995 – Charles Rowland gets ambushed at a house party. He doesn’t think about it for the next 30 years.

Notes: Look, I'll be forever screaming about this one. It was amazing from the first word to the last. I think it rewired my brain, because I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards.

i’ll be waiting for twenty years (praying for redemption) by aletterinthenameofsanity (@aletterinthenameofsanity)

| E | 4k | Tags: Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pre-Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Canon, First Kiss, First Time, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Religious Imagery & Symbolism |

The kindest thing that anyone has ever done for Charles was guide him to death. The cruelest thing that anyone has ever done is tell Charles that they would rather Charles have left with Death in that attic than stuck around. Charles has spent the last thirty years being haunted by the same ghost, of course. What an irony that Charles only started being haunted after he died. (What an irony that Charles only realized he was in love after that same ghost proved that Charles still had a heart in his dead chest, because that heart had broken the moment that Edwin had turned on his heel and left a shattered Charles in the place they once called a home.) And yet, Charles cannot stop wishing for Edwin to just turn around. For Edwin to just turn around and smile and laugh as he did in that attic. For Edwin to smile at him, for Edwin to accept him back, for Edwin to love him. (Edwin and Charles go their separate ways in 1990 and spend the next thirty years pining for each other. Don't worry, they'll figure things out eventually.)

Notes: The way this broke my heart and put it back together, I swear- Absolutely amazing. It's angsty and it hurts, but I have no regrets. I wanted to give it a thousand kudos (please, AO3, let me).

so I try to talk refined by shadowquill17 (@shadowquill17)

| E | 6k | Tags: POV Charles Rowland (DCU), Self-Esteem Issues, Internalized racism, Jealousy, Oblivious Charles Rowland (DCU), Misunderstandings |

Edwin tells Charles about the Cat King taking his appearance and Charles, after he's done being angry, thinks about it some more and comes to the conclusion that the only reason that could happen and Edwin could still be more flustered by the Cat King when he didn't look like Charles... is that Edwin doesn't find Charles attractive. He has no idea why it feels so painful.

Notes: This made me feel INSANE in the best of ways. I re-read it often and enjoy it as much as the first time. Thank you, @shadowquill17, for this amazing fic.

That Story Ends Tragically by Alexander_Writes (@neitherthehoneynorthebee)

| M | 12k | Tags: Ep 7 canon divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Pre-Canon Scenes, Violence, Internalized Homophobia, Trauma, Love Confessions, First Kiss |

"Can you explain this?" Charles begged. "Charles, don't leave," said the boy behind them. Edwin glared, but forcefully smoothed his expression when he looked back at Charles. "Hell is ... perceptive. It likes to snare souls. What is ..." He swallowed, throat moving with it. "What is the thing that you are most scared of, right now?" "Losing you." Or, what if Charles got lost trying to find Edwin in Hell?

Notes: MY GOD THE BRILLIANCE OF THIS. This was so well written it had me on the edge of my seat from start to end. The angst and the resolution of it were incredible.

Turnabout's Fair Play by LikeMmmCookies (@likemmmcookies)

| E | 7k | Tags: Edwin learns to flirt, Charles is down so bad, Edwin wears SHORTS, Charles walks into a door about it, Cute and silly, Cheesy flirting |

Edwin learns how to flirt.

Notes: This one had me giggling and kicking my feet because it was so amazing. It was such a fun and sweet read that I just had to include it in this list.

A gentleman by Superfriki

| Not Rated | 2k | Tags: First Kiss, Getting Together, Courting Rituals, Fluff, Love Confessions, Charles being a simp, Niko and Charles being friends |

“Niko, I can’t walk into the office with a flower bouquet and ask Edwin to let me court him. He would shit himself and run the other way” He looked at the girl, worry etched into his brow. “Don’t worry, you can do some things before that. Maybe you could start by getting him a gift or being a gentleman with him” “Oi! I’m always a gentleman with him” - Or Charles tries to woo Edwin in the Edwardian way.

Notes: ABSOLUTE FLUFF. The love. The courting. Everything about is a 10/10.

The Case of Richard Rowland by RB (BlueflowersandWings) (@writerofstuff)

| M | 31k | Tags: Post-Canon, Case Fic, Abusive Parents, Past Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Getting Together, Romantic Tension, Mutual Pining |

"Right on time, Charles," Edwin calls as he phases in through their office door. "It seems that we have a new client. We were just about to—" Charles freezes. "As I was saying," Charles' father coughs, sat across from Edwin with his back to the door, "my name is Richard Rowland, and I believe I have been murdered." — Or: Charles' father dies on a Sunday. On Monday, he arrives at the doorstep of the Dead Boy Detective Agency.

Notes: One of my all-time faves, honestly. This one hit me in the feelings with such force and shook me so fundamentally I had to stare at the wall for a bit after reading some scenes. It's angsty, but it's brilliantly written. Thank you @writerofstuff for this masterpiece.

a part of me that will never be mine by tragedy_machine (@tragedy-machine)

| E | 22k | Tags: Mutual Pining, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Unreliable Narrator, Oblivious Edwin Paine, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, First Kiss, First Time, Love Confessions |

Edwin tells Charles he loves him in Hell, but when Charles quickly responds with his own breathless 'I love you', Edwin assumes his friend meant it platonically, so he gives up halfway through his confession, leaving out the crucial 'I'm in love with you' part. Dejected, he decides to keep his feelings a secret. Meanwhile, Charles has been in love with his best mate for years, so when they unexpectedly exchange 'I love yous' on the staircase of Hell, Charles happily assumes that they've just started dating and are just going at a really slow pace. Needless to say, they're not really on the same page. --- OR: because of a misunderstanding during the confession in Hell, Charles thinks they're dating now, while Edwin believes his love will stay unrequited forever

Notes: This fic has my whole heart, I swear. It's one of my faves ever, and the sensation of receiving the email when it was updated was unparalleled. A true jewel. Thank you @tragedy-machine

pinch me (I don't want this to be a dream) by shadowquill17 (@shadowquill17)

| E | 15k | Tags: Accidental Mind Reading, Light Angst, Oblivious Charles Rowland (DCU), Misunderstandings, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Getting Together|

Charles has never met a magical object he didn’t want to use. He might have gotten cursed a couple times over the years, but he also found some great stuff that way, and it keeps his afterlife exciting, you know? So when he and Edwin find something called “Desire’s Pince-Nez”, spelled glasses that make you see someone’s desires if you look into their eyes, Charles doesn’t really think twice before trying them on.

Notes: This one killed me and revived me with every line. I cannot express properly how much I loved it, but it's one of the fics I re-read most often, so I guess that says something. Seriously, it's amazing,.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Y'know, it's unfortunate more people don't compare Louis and Violet in good faith.

Like, when I do see people compare them, it's usually through the lens of one is good, and the other bad. One is more canon than the other, and here's why. One is objectively better for Clementine, and the other is less impactful, worse written, didn't have chemistry with her, insert several insults here, etc.

I don't think it's inherently bad to express why you might not like one of them, or why you prefer one over the other. That's fine, that's a matter of opinion. It only gets to me when it becomes hostile, or passive aggressive... but even then, I've learned to just roll my eyes and move on. Some people make it very clear that they're not worth having a discussion with.

However, I wish I could read more nuanced comparisons of the two that didn't default to the "and that's why this one is better." At least some are kind enough to tack on a "for my Clementine" at the end.

You know how it goes: Louis is cute and he makes Clementine laugh, whereas Violet's boring, her love is shallow, she's still not over Minerva and she's using Clementine as a rebound. Violentine's a bad ship because Violet's actually a traitor, and they're practically the same person and that's bad.

Violet's loyal and reliable, whereas Louis is annoying, he never takes anything serious, he's a traitor for his vote, and he's nothing but a distraction. Clouis is a bad ship because how could any Clementine possibly like him after he voted her and AJ out? That's bad!

That's always the conclusion, right? One good, one bad.

This is incredibly limiting and it drives me nuts.

They're foils. They contrast one another, highlight each other's strengths and flaws, in such an interesting way that it makes Clementine's choice between them all the more meaningful.

One is not good and the other bad, they're different, and I think that's worth exploring.

Let's start with a common argument: Violet is the more impactful option due to her connection to Minerva.

Now, to be fair, I can understand why someone on Team Violet would believe this. Yes, it's true that the confrontation with Minerva is more impactful for a violentine shipper who has more investment in Violet as a character. Louis doesn't have as strong of a connection to her.

However, what they're failing to recognize is that Minerva isn't the only ghost to haunt this narrative. Violet may have Minerva, yes, but Louis has Marlon... and that doesn't just go away once Marlon's dead.

Violet's route has Minerva as her ex-girlfriend, and her bond with Tenn that all comes to a head on the bridge. Louis' route has Marlon's death and how that specifically impacts his relationship with AJ and Clementine, and the slow burn of forgiveness on all sides.

Marlon and Minerva are also reflective of Clementine's worst outcomes.

Clementine and Marlon were tied together through Brody's blood splattered on their hands and faces. They both killed a part of Brody, but only one of them lies about who killed her first.

After Marlon dies, Clementine gradually replaces him throughout the game; Rosie is her dog now, she uses his bow [which Louis gave her], she becomes the leader. Clementine gets them to fight back, and when three of her people are captured, she doesn't cut her losses. She does what Marlon couldn't; "we're getting them back."

When she chooses Louis, he does for her what he never did for Marlon: he steps up.

Clementine proves she won't become Marlon just as she proves she won't become Minerva.

After getting James to agree to help them, Clementine and AJ talk about what to do if she ever gets bit. AJ says he'd want her to bite him, too. He repeats this sentiment after she's actually bitten, telling her he wants to stay and they could turn together, peacefully.

When Minerva confronts them on the bridge, she's dying... and she wants Tenn to die with her. She doesn't care who she has to kill in the process. She's more monster than human at this point, and most times, she succeeds.

They're both bitten. Clementine could've become a monster like Minerva in the end. She could've killed AJ, and they could've become walkers together. But she didn't. Minerva wanted Tenn to die for her, and Clementine wanted AJ to live for her.

Also, I should mention she has Minerva's axe. She carries the key weapons associated with Marlon and Minerva throughout different points in the game, further solidifying these connections. She uses Marlon's bow to save her friends, and she uses Minerva's axe to save AJ, who in turn uses it to save her.

What's also so interesting about this is how Marlon's alive in episode one, and Minerva is thought to be dead. Louis has his best friend, and Violet's lost hers. But, at the end of the episode, Marlon's dead and Minerva's revealed to be alive.

Marlon becomes the ghost, and Minerva becomes the monster. Clementine becomes to Louis and Violet what Marlon and Minerva never could... how does that not drive anyone else insane?

So, no. One is not objectively better, or more impactful, because of a connection to Marlon or Minerva. They're different. It just depends on which storyline you personally find more compelling.

Actually, let's talk about that a little more.

In my opinion, the most intriguing point of comparison between Louis and Violet stems from their perceptions of survival, and how that impacts Clementine.

An argument I see made against violentine is that Violet's boring because she and Clementine are too similar. This usually comes from clouis shippers who prefer the "opposites attract" dynamic Clementine and Louis have.

On the flip side, there's the counter argument that Louis is reckless, that he doesn't take survival as seriously as he should and Clementine wouldn't want him because of that.

These are interesting to me because I get where they're coming from... but they ultimately miss the point.

The other day, I replayed TFS. Except this time, I did something a little bit differently. I played my usual clouis route, but then I had the violentine route pulled up on my laptop so that I could watch these scenes, comparing them side by side… and something occurred to me. 

Louis is about challenging Clementine's perception of survival, and Violet is about validating it.

Louis challenges Clementine from the very moment we meet him—he’s playing music. His initial philosophy on survival butts heads with Clementine’s. The fact that hunting with him and Aasim challenges your perception of “your choices have consequences.” These games have conditioned the player to think along the lines of, “Yeah, Louis is more fun… but if I don’t hunt with Aasim, we won’t have any food.”

Except that’s just it. I hate to say it, Aasim, but in the grand scheme of things… hunting with you doesn’t matter. It's actually less rewarding. You know why? Because in the next section, we get food from the train station. It would’ve been more beneficial to spend time with Louis over hunting, hence how he challenges you.  

This then primes you for the choice between choosing to follow Louis or follow Violet. I know people complain about how this is presented with Violet doing something productive [checking the walls] and Louis playing piano… but that’s the point. If you’re going through with Louis’ full route, you need to meet him at his level, and in turn, he will meet you at yours. You need to accept the challenge, the idea that Clementine isn’t entirely right about the way she’s gone about survival.

Oh, and do I even need to mention the vote? The debate over Louis’ vote is exhausting. Often times, people tell on themselves in how they talk about it. It’s not actually about the fact that he voted against them. If it was, these people would have a bigger bone with pick with Mitch, Willy, Ruby, and Omar… and yet Louis is the one who takes all the blame as if he’s the only one personally kicking them out. 

Louis is reacting to the death of his best friend, and the complicated feelings that come with it being caused by AJ. He wants accountability, even if he knows something's wrong. You can either agree with him that it was murder, and set AJ on the path of atonement… or, you can double down and tell him to fuck off, AJ was justified. 

But here’s the thing… the vote adds to the appeal of Louis’ route. To someone who hates him, or at the very least is critical of his vote, that sounds mad or delusional.

Except it’s really not.

Ever heard of a thing called tension? Because there’s a lot of it in ep2 between clouis + AJ and it’s fantastic.

Yes, Louis voting them out is problematic because we need a problem to solve. We need something to feed the tension between him and Clementine. He stepped in front of a gun held by his best friend in order to protect her, forever changing their relationship… only for that to seemingly be taken away from us the moment AJ shoots Marlon. 

Yes, Louis’ route is about being challenged, but it’s also about challenging him. That he’s able to forgive them, that he’s able to question his own survival philosophy and understand theirs, that he’s able to apologize and actually change for the better… that right there is what makes clouis so damn good. 

He becomes hardened whereas Clementine softens. By the end of the game, they’re on a similar level now without neglecting their differences, and they can move forward together. 

That’s what makes Louis’ route appealing… and it’s also what makes it unappealing to people who prefer Violet. 

By contrast, Violet’s already on Clementine’s level when it comes to this perception of survival. She validates that Clementine’s on the right path.

They have other similarities in the way that they’re both female, queer, they both have a kid they look after, they’re not always great with other people, etc. 

People who prefer Louis might consider this boring, but I think to Team Violet, it’s comforting. It’s comforting to have a partner who takes this as seriously as you do, who wants to get shit done. They’re playing Clementine with a similar attitude, and don’t believe it needs to be challenged. It’s comforting to feel validated on something you already firmly believe in. 

We also see this if we compare the hunting and fishing scenes. You have to make an effort to choose Louis by choosing to neglect hunting, but the game makes you fish with Violet no matter what.

Violet’s prioritizing fishing because they need food. That’s what they’ve set out to do, so let’s do it. The game is letting you know that’s the case, and if you value that, continue pursuing her. 

While fishing, they discuss why things are weird with her and Brody. Violet doesn’t take well to Clementine’s blunt, “Because you make it weird. Brody tries and you just make fun of her."

That’s understandable because I think she already kind of knows why and is looking to have her feelings validated. She prefers it when Clementine suggests that it’s because Brody never said sorry for what happened to the twins. 

There’s also comfort and validation in the way Violet sides with Clementine and AJ after Marlon’s death. She votes for them to stay, vocalizing how much she disapproves of the results. There’s this feeling that I recognize from a lot of the sapphic romance I read; “it’s you and me against the world, I’ll always have your back, even if you’re in the wrong, I’ll fight for you.”

In our case, it’s violentine + AJ against the rest of Ericson, save Tenn and Aasim. Violet validates that AJ was justified because Marlon was a liar and murderer, claiming that AJ and Clementine did nothing wrong. Violet fights to keep them. 

The tension between violentine in ep2 is different because instead of one pushing the other away, they’re being forced apart by the vote and there’s nothing they can do about it. That tension is somewhat released when Clementine comes back and they’re reunited, working out a plan to best defend the school. 

It’s also why Violet’s presented as doing something productive when you follow her instead of Louis, and why she asks if you want to hang out after checking the defenses. 

All that being said, allow me to reiterate that one is not good and the other bad, they're different. These concepts of challenge and change/validation and comfort exist on a neutral road as diverging paths. It’s up to the player to pick what path they prefer, but that doesn’t mean the other path isn’t worth acknowledging or analyzing. 

I should also mention that they’re not exclusive; there is overlap with validation being present in Louis’ route and challenges in Violet’s. They’re just more present in episodes 3 and 4 after we’ve made our decision. 

There are several more examples of how this all fits together, buuuuut–

Ya’ll wanna compare some allegories?

Those familiar with my content might already know where I’m going with this as I’ve made a post about Louis and the piano in the past. 

You see, I believe that there are allegories for Louis and Violet’s hearts present in their routes: Louis’ piano, and Violet’s pin. 

I already have a thorough, in-depth analysis of Louis and the piano that you can read, so all I’ll say about it is that on the night of the raid, he asked Clementine to carve a piece of herself into his heart so that no matter what, their initials will be immortalized together in its wood…

And that makes me fucking feral. 

But I'm also so normal about it.

As for Violet, her heart is the star gazing pin she gives to Clementine. She gives it to her so she’ll always remember that night… but she doesn’t give it to her until after Clementine’s saved her, and that fascinates me in the context of it being allegory. 

Louis asks Clementine to carve herself into his heart right before the raid, cementing that from that moment on, he is utterly devoted to her. I believe this is part of the reason why Louis is still happy to see her if he’s the one who’s captured. Yes, yes, he’s also incredibly traumatized from having his tongue cut out and he’d be happy to see anyone, yada yada… but listen, if you romance Louis and he’s captured, his heart remains with her—that piano with their intitals is on full display. When he sees her, he’s still so devoted to her that he refuses to accept that it’s at all her fault. Even when she says it is, he shakes his head... and he so easily accepts her when they’re together in the end. From the moment Clementine puts knife to wood, he’s hers. 

Now, look… you might think I’m going somewhere not great with this but hear me out. 

I think after Clementine’s gone star gazing with her, Violet is fully ready to give her heart to her. Y’know, give her the pin. But, think about what Violet said about how people have left, but Clementine came back. Plus, with the impending raid to think about, maybe Violet should keep the pin until the right moment. 

I believe a key difference between her and Louis is that Violet needs one last thing to solidify that Clementine’s the one. 

Louis gives her his heart prior to the raid because of everything that’s already gone down between them following Marlon’s death. Violet needs to know that Clementine’s willing to fight for her the way she fought before. When Clementine saves her from the raiders, it’s solidified. Even after she sees Minerva again, it changes nothing.

It’s also worth noting that the pin is something Clementine wears. Like the piano carving, it’s a piece on display for everyone to see, to let them know whose heart Clementine has.

Violet literally handed Clementine her heart as a means of saying, “I’m yours. I’m devoted to you.” 

This is why romanced/captured Violet is devastating, and is why she behaves the way she does in the cells. She was so ready to give her heart away and then nope, sorry, Vi! You get knocked unconscious by raiders instead! 

If anything, you kind of deserve to be told to fuck off if you romanced her and then let her get captured. Just sayin’. 

Look, I have a lot of complicated feelings about the captured violentine route, mostly with Violet being as forgiving as she is after her eyes are burned—yes, yes, I know, her eyes are burned and Minerva messed with her head so of course now she’s not hostile, yada, yada. 

But I think it’s rather telling that you don’t get the pin in this route. Sure, Violet’s willing to forgive and possibly pursue this romance in the future… but she’s not ready to hand over her heart, not truly. Not after everything that’s happened. 

And if you want to get extra angsty about it, imagine that Violet made the pin right after they parted ways, but before the raiders came. Meaning that if she’s captured, it’s possibly still sitting somewhere, abandoned. 

Mmhmmm, very normal about this. I feel normal. My normalness about this continues... normally. I'm not losing my shit thinking about that. Nope. Why would I? I wouldn't! So normal.

Okay just let me talk about their reactions to Tenn's death and then I'll shut up.

This makes me want to gnaw my own foot off, I can barely handle it.

AJ shoots Tenn on the bridge because Clementine trusted him to make the hard calls. This saves Louis or Violet's life.

When Louis jumps across, he's completely silent as he watches Tenn die... and then he's pissed; "What the fuck?! How could you just shoot him like that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for him, and Louis is so upset that he forces AJ to look at what he's done, to watch the walkers eat Tenn; "Tenn's dead. He's dead! Do you realize that?! Look! [...] He's... he's gone, because of you. Just fucking gone."

If Clementine says AJ saved his life, Louis says, "So what, we just cut him loose? Gun him down like he was nothing?"

If Clementine says nothing, Louis says, "Tenn was just a little boy!"

The reason Louis responds this way is because in this moment, he just relived Marlon's death all over again, but worse. So, SO much worse!

When Violet jumps across, she breaks down, begging, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! No, no! No, no, no..." as she watches Tenn die... and then says to AJ, "No! What the fuck?! How could you do that?!"

AJ explains himself, that he did it for her, and Violet is faaaar from okay; "For me? I can't... Tenn is gone! That soft little boy who liked to draw, he's gone, because of you!"

If Clementine says AJ saved her life, Violet says, "You think that's okay?! Just gunning down one of our own?!"

And there it is.

Louis is hardened in this situation because he already went through this... Violet hasn't, not with AJ. She softened up throughout her route due to her relationships to him and Clementine... but this is the moment where she realizes that maybe AJ wasn't as justified as she believed, and this is the consequence.

This leads us to the ending where AJ asks if they're still mad about him killing Tenn, and I just... I'm biting my foot right now because the script has flipped.

Louis is forgiving and understanding. He's soft, he's sympathetic, he shakes AJ's hand to let him know that all is forgiven and they're okay; "I... AJ, I guess it's like... You saw something I didn't. About the situation, I mean. Minnie and the walkers and Tenn, it's just all this chaos in my head when I think back on it. [...] Clem says you saved my life? Well, then, that's exactly what you did. And how can I stay mad at anyone for doing that?"

Or, alternatively, "He was your friend, AJ. I know you are hurting just as much as I am."

As for Violet? She's understanding, too... but she's not quite ready to forgive yet; "The thing you said on the bridge...that he was messing up all the time. It wasn't something new, you know. Tenn got himself or other people into trouble all the time, long before you guys got here. He was always so lost. He lived in a world that just...isn't there, you know? And that's why I tried to look after him. But when I was pulling him away from the walkers, and Minnie, I could also see...he just wasn't there anymore."

"So you're mad, but sad."

"Can I be that for a while?"

And it's completely understandable that she's hurting and struggling with how she feels about AJ moving forward! She wants to be okay, she wants to forgive him, she just needs time.

Now, because I'm forever bitter, but I'm gonna mention this as well: whenever I see someone point at Violet's scene and say, "See!? This is how LOUIS should've acted in ep2!" like... they're telling on themselves again. Not just that they don't understand Louis as a character or his route, but that they don't fully grasp Violet's part in this either. Or time frames, for that matter.

Let me put it to you in simple terms... they react the same.

After Marlon and Tenn die, they're upset. They're pissed. They blame AJ and yell at him. After they've had time to process what happened [Louis after the two week time skip, Violet after time passes between the bridge and the ending] they share the same, "I'm still upset about Marlon/Tenn. Can I be that for a while and still be your friend?" sentiment.

The difference is that Louis is treated poorly for it because of the vote, and because we feel it first hand for longer... Violet got to grieve off screen and come back after she's sorted herself out.

It's a disservice to both of their characters because it's rooted in that same mentality that I criticized at the beginning: "This is why one is better than the other."

Do I need to say it again? I'm gonna say it again.

One is not good and the other bad. They're different.

There are so many fun discussions that could come from putting Louis and Violet side by side, and examining them. I haven't even covered the different ways they're introduced, or compared their ep3 dates to see what it says about them and the overall narratives! What about the cell scenes!? How they react when Dorian's about the cut off their fingers! The way they approach James upon meeting him!

That last one in particular is especially funny! They're all under stress about blending in with a herd of walkers to infiltrate a boat to save their friends, and yet Louis easily saunters up to the guy wearing walker skins with a smile, and makes him laugh by saying, "Functional and fashionable. I'll take two."

Violet approaches James like he's an injured wild animal that's going to bite her, and bless her heart, she tries with, "I, uh… hey. Hey there, James. Sorry about Willy." Then James gives her this judgmental side-eye, like buddy? She's not the weirdo here.

There is so much potential to dissect here, and I want to see people do it... but I want them to do it fairly, in good faith.

I want to get away from the idea of comparing them to "prove" which is better because there is no objective better. There isn't! That's a waste of time!

I'm so done with The Debate™; it's unhelpful, it's annoying, and it's boring as shit. I've heard it all before, and you probably have, too.

I want to put Louis and Violet under a microscope and study them with the thought process of, "one does this and the other does that... what does it mean!? what does it say about the narrative!? Oh my god, they have the same opinion on this thing, WRITE THAT DOWN!"

So yeah, that's my ramble for the night.

I'm gonna go replay TFS for further research.

[ravengards-rogue]

i think it's interesting that astarion has a tendency towards apathy. or at least, on the surface - this is the identity that he believes suits him best. that his roguishness and selfishness and otherwise immoral character is all born from apathy. it's always a song and dance, a show of who can care less. i can't speak much of astarion pre-spawn but post-cazador there is always this bitter cat-and-mouse game.

nothing matters except me. nothing matters except my safety, and the only reason it's worth concern is as it pertains to me. i do think some part of that's genuine. i think 200 years of vile abuse does that to someone and astarion, without debate, was once a very shitty person.

but then, astarion gets company. meets people who are annoying and heroic and silly and empathetic. he meets you - someone who is at some point willing to give his agency back to it, or has some interest in maintaining it. someone who at a baseline just respects him as an autonomous being. and then the mask of apathy, very quickly falls apart. the apathy, the anger, the bitterness - it's all there. it's still there, even when there's someone who cares for him.

but admidst the ending world there's. someone. just someone. and that's as little as it really takes to break astarion in such a particular way. and then you come to realize that he is actually so inconceivably far from infallible. there's something quite pathetic to him. to all of him. underneath of all that is such gripping and miserable loneliness that all it takes for him to care or want is something as basic as respect - you start to think of him very differently.

you see him for what he is which is afraid. always. perpetually. ingrained deep into his bones, terrified. the mask of apathy is worn with the explicit purpose of redircection. if astarion can convince you that he cares for nothing but himself, maybe he can convince himself too. maybe you won't notice all the ways in which he is broken down. maybe you won't notice the way he lingers in hugs and the way his voice breaks trying to assure you want him. maybe if astarion wins at this - nothing will be taken from him.

maybe, maybe - if astarion can play at apathy he can convince himself he doesn't want you love him at all. not once. he can convince himself that the warm feeling of your hands and the self-assured firmness of your love isn't something he wants to fall back on. maybe he can convince himself he'll move on when he outlives you.

maybe if astarion never shows that it all matters to him so much nothing will be taken from him again. what a poor defense mechanism though, really - because all of it seems to matter to him so much

[08melancholie]

I'm writing a Micah fic and I'm not satisfied with how I write him 💀 you have any tips?

This is a great question, and I can definitely find a few tips you can go off of that I usually memorise before I go ahead and write him. So first; lets section it off into five parts.

1. Micah's usual nature.

2. Behaviour I.—In camp.

3. Behaviour II.—Missions/outings.

4. Behaviour III. —Valu(able)s.

5. Language/the actual writing.

I'll go through every section and give you my tips and information that fits. Hopefully this helps your writing!

Most important highlighted/summarised in colour of section<3

1. Micah's usual nature.

First, let's break down Micah's character; he presents himself in a very cold, closed-off manner. He isn't that much of a helpful character, nor is he very social. In fact, Micah seems very asocial to me. You'll rarely find him socialising with camp members if he's sober, the only exception being when he drinks, where you'll find around 3-4 camp interactions (Javier, John, Bill, Arthur,...) in the game. He might come up to Arthur for a normal conversation a few times, but they mostly end in mockery or some sort of self-gain. You won't find Micah doing (re)quests for people, seeing as he's very focused on himself—excluding errands for Dutch since he's his boss. While on the topic of his nature in camp, lets continue this in "2. Behaviour I.—In camp".

2. Behaviour I.—In camp.

If he's actually found talking to fellow camp members that aren't Dutch, Micah enjoys antagonising any and all characters in the game. He throws crude comments and jokes people's way in his free time—which he clearly has a lot of, considering he doesn't ever do chores in camp, as confirmed in an interaction with Arthur where Micah says he "buys the clothes, not washes them". He also looks for ways to get under people's skin a lot. As for the women, there's quite a few interactions of him catcalling and harassing them, plain simple. He doesn't seem to care about being called a creep for it by Arthur either, as thats just entertainment for him.

3. Behaviour II.—Missions/outings.

Micah is very confident in how he works. He knows he's a great shot and one of Dutch's best gunmen, that much is sure to me. If he's doing better than Arthur, for example in "A Short Walk in a Pretty Town", he'll comment on it, saying "You're getting sloppy, Morgan." to him if he fails to get all four people in the gun store. You need to write him as such; keep his confidence in his abilities, and his subtle blood-thirst as well. Micah is much ruthless and somewhat of a brute, not to forget unforgiving and uncaring of his victims; killing Maddy, Norman's wife for.. little to no reason, as far as we know, or the little girl when you play as John later on in the game and are told so by Cleet in Strawberry. While on topic of Strawberry; massacring an entire town over two guns—another point that emphasises his self-worth. He killed and had Arthur kill off an entire town, despite much protest and complaints from Arthur about this choice. And yet he still didn't think much of that choice of action, laughing about it to Arthur after they stopped getting chased. Again—uncaring, ruthless, self-centred.

4. Behaviour III.—Valu(able)s.

This part is mostly useful for the start of a fic, since valu(able)s can change by the end of the story, and especially if you're writing a fix-it fic. We'll start with valuables, since Micah's are very simple; he values two things in his life over everything; his two custom-made DAs (Double Action revolvers) and his horse Baylock. We know he cares a lot about his guns, from the fact that he risked shooting up an entire town just to get them back when it would have been very simple to buy another set—this can be used to write an unhealthy attachment, or show vulnerability with risk of losing said weapons. Baylock is also pretty self-explanatory; he cares a lot about that horse, and IMO, he sees it as its best friend. With that, there's also one more thing that tethers between valuables and values; he doesn't want a future like many, a wife or family and stable life—those are mostly out of interest to Micah. His most important wish, at least Chapter 1—Chapter 6, is the future he wants for himself—a strong gang; "five to six strong men",as he says. This is his main goal in the game, and it'll be very valuable to him at the start. Then, come the values, and like many in 1899, he'll be very old-school; he wouldn't want women in his ideal vision of a gang, obviously. Micah sees them as beneath him and as too weak for the life—which is much obvious in the game... If you're writing a fanfic with F!Reader that's got the attitude of Sadie, I wouldn't instant make him jump for that type of woman. Micah expresses he's more into feminine women anyhow, so that's also important to remember when writing Micah/Reader fics.

5. Language/the actual writing.

Now, the way Micah speaks. He's very obviously and shamelessly open about how he talks—like I mentioned in the second section with the women; he'll openly harass them, uncaring of being reprimanded by Arthur for it. He's very vulgar and direct, so you won't see him hold back too often. Can't forget this part, of course—Micah has an accent like many characters, and I like to emphasise that by changing up the way some things are spelled; "you" turns into "'ya", "and" into "an'" and such, little changes that let the reader know how they should be reading the words said by the character, especially good if someone doesn't yet know who Micah is and your fic is their first impression, they can immediately assume an accent.

As a tip here, I'm gonna try and put a few grammatical details I usually keep in mind when writing my texts.

Verbs I.: if it ends in "-ing", leave out the 'g' and add an ' at the end.

For example: "Well, safe to say she's changin' her ways."

Verbs II.: If they don't end with "-ing", like with words that aren't in the present for example (and irregular verbs), I look for ways to change them which I then memorise for the future.

For example I.: "It just burns a little, 's all." —> "is"

For example II.: "She's just wen' and gone!" —> "went"

"You, you're, your": The change here is very obvious, and the only warning I have is for for using "you're" and "your"; the change is the same, so if you have both in one sentence, only change one.

For example I.: "But he said 'ya didn't like the gift?"

For example II.: "How?! I know yer supposed to be gone!"

For example III.: "You know yer left shoelace is undone?"

These are a few of my tips, and I'm hoping that they'll be helpful to you—and anyone else that is looking to write Micah. Thank you for the lovely ask, and as always, good luck! <3

friend wanted to be tagged: @angel-w1ngsss

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑨𝑽𝑨𝑻𝑨𝑹: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑻 𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑩𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  i'm angry at myself!  ❜ ❛  it's easy to do nothing, it's hard to forgive.  ❜ ❛  you miscalculated. i love them more than i fear you.  ❜ ❛  there is nothing wrong with letting the people who love you help you.  ❜ ❛  but now you're not letting yourself feel anything. i know sometimes it hurts more to hope and it hurts more to care. but you have to promise me that you won't stop caring.  ❜ ❛  my own mother thought i was a monster ... she was right of course, but it still hurt.  ❜ ❛  in the darkness, hope is something you give yourself.  ❜ ❛  never forget who you are, for surely the world won't.  ❜ ❛  why am i so bad at being good?  ❜ ❛  it is important to draw wisdom from different places. if you take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale.  ❜ ❛  sometimes the best way to solve your own problems is to help someone else.  ❜ ❛  and now you have come to the crossroads of destiny. it's time for you to choose.  ❜ ❛  you may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place.  ❜ ❛  protection and power are overrated. i think you are very wise to choose happiness and love.  ❜ ❛  get over here, [ name ]. being part of the group also means being part of group hugs.  ❜ ❛  stop! stop it right now! what's wrong with you? we don't have time for fun and games with the war going on.  ❜ ❛  i'm too young to die!  ❜ ❛  in my country, we exchange a pleasant 'hello' before asking questions.  ❜ ❛  i didn't know what or when, but i knew i'd know it when i knew it!  ❜ ❛  the past can be a great teacher.  ❜ ❛  when we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.  ❜ ❛  there really is no fathoming the depths of my hatred for this place.  ❜ ❛  failure is only the opportunity to try again, only more wisely this time.  ❜ ❛  i wanted to take out all of my anger on them. but i couldn't. i don't know if it's because i'm too weak ... or if it's because i'm strong enough not to.  ❜ ❛  look [ name ], you're going to fail a lot before things work out. even though you will fail over and over again, you have to try every time. you can't quit because you're afraid you might fail.  ❜ ❛  while it is always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.  ❜ ❛  you must never give in to despair. allow yourself to slip down that road, and you surrender to your lowest instincts.  ❜ ❛  if we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends too?  ❜ ❛  you know, [ name ], i don't care what anyone else says about you. you're pretty smart.  ❜ ❛  if i try, i fail. if i don't try, i'm never going to get it.  ❜ ❛  let your anger out, and then let it go. forgive him.  ❜ ❛  pride is not the opposite of shame, but rather its source. true humility is the only antidote to shame.  ❜ ❛  life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not.  ❜ ❛  the greatest illusion of this world is the illusion of separation. things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same.  ❜ ❛  you stand alone. that has always been your greatest weakness.  ❜ ❛  bad skin? normal teenagers worry about bad skin, i don't have that luxury.  ❜ ❛  in my dream, we were right in the middle of the invasion, and you stopped to use the bathroom. we die because of your tiny bladder.  ❜ ❛  you need to find someone who waits and listens before striking.  ❜ ❛  everyone has to be treated like they're worth giving a chance.  ❜ ❛  i don't need luck, though. i don't want it. i've always had to struggle and fight, and that's made me strong. it's made me who i am.  ❜

[pinkgy]

PB is fucking things up, but there's hope, and here's why

During the past hours i've gave different opinions about this whole mess that's going on with What in Hell is Bad, but this is my final opinion.

Please, don’t attack me for “justifying” PrettyBusy, because I’m not, I already expect bad reactions because of this post.

I decided to write this because moments ago I checked the game's Reddit page and well, i already knew that many people has been quitting the game for various reasons, like the constant bugs and the lack of new content, but within the past hours this number increased significantly and almost every player of What in Hell is Bad that has some kind of presence in social media related to the game has spoken up about this, and i'm glad this is happening. For change to happen people needs to speak up, but i think that by know, PrettyBusy already knows it. I talked about this in a reblog i did some weeks ago, but i'll say this again, PrettyBusy is a business, a small one, but a business, and they have and can keep track of many things that are going on in the game, and by now, they probably noticed that they are losing players even without having to check what's going on in different social medias, and my hypothesis is that there's some internal issue going on for them to have so many unfulfilled promises and so many things that are lacking in the game. But i don't mean to say that we should be considerate, that's something that's up to every singular person.

They know about what's going on, and if you ask me, i believe that by the end of the day we will have an update from them explaining everything, Prettybusy may be fucking up many things right now, but they are really receptive and i think many of us have noticed that with the past issues, the last one being when they deleted the mission that involved using Nightmare coins during the past Nightmare Pass when many of us started to complain about it, they had no need to fix that because it wasn't an impossible mission, really hard i must admit, but not impossible, but they still did and compensated us later. And no, i'm not excusing PrettyBusy, I’m just trying to see the positive side out of this. PrettyBusy is being greedy, not event the biggest dating games have 40$ cards, or even content that is worth that amount of money, and for a game that doesn't even have a year since it's release that is absolutely inconsiderate, my theory is that they noticed that those overly expensive cards were actually being sold by players so they thought that if they released others, the same would happen and the F2P players would just ignore it and keep playing, and they ended up making a mistake by saturating the game with paid content and neglecting those parts of the game that are actually important, the Main Story and the Organic Players. And surprisingly, this is a common mistake many companies do, but they usually end up fixing it, because at the end of the day, us, Organic Players of What in Hell is Bad are the best promotion for the game, or any game in question since this example can be used for many other situations, a singer can have the biggest billboards, the best music, the most expensive commercials, but the fans are always going to remain as the best promotion they could have EVER, and if they don't have fans, they won't be successful. And if me, a normal 19 year old college student can realize this, i'm sure a COMPANY, a BUSINESS, can definitely do it way better and quicker too. No game wants to lose players, yes, they're earning 40$ for selling those cards, but they’re losing waaaaay more by losing F2P players, and summarizing the last tho paragraphs, PrettyBusy needs us because we are money.

It makes me really sad to see many players lose interest in the game, and if any of you care, I'm not leaving, at least not for the time being, i know it sounds dumb to see the positive side of everything that's going on (Because it's definitely not positive at all) but i will keep doing it, I like the game but that doesn't mean I'm going to justify what PrettyBusy is doing, and I think that's a valid opinion.

To conclude this, I’m going to gaslight myself into thinking that PrettyBusy isn't dumb and they do know that what they're doing it's wrong, and they will search for a way to fix this as soon as possible, and if you think this is impossible, read again this post because that's the whole purpose of it. I hope I'm right, but if I'm not, then I’ll try to stay optimistic until they fuck it up again.

If you want to mail PrettyBusy complaining about this, I'm really glad you are! I'm working on a mail too, I recommend you read THIS post before you do it, and please, remain respectful.

Thank you so much for reading this long-ass post! I'll gladly accept any addition to this post or any comment, but please remain respectful, and remember, this is a personal opinion, I'm also a F2P player, and believe me when I say that I'm as mad as you are about this but I just have my own point of view of it.

[lunarflux]

x: Thomas Shelby found his match in an information bookie who has eluded the grasp of the Peaky Blinders long enough to crumble their power over Birmingham. But at last, he found you. The ghost he'd been chasing was finally in front of him, but you were trickier than he expected. Dangerous, cunning - and a bit too much like himself. To buy your loyalty, he would have to sell his in equal measure. Loyalty for loyalty - blood for blood - how much were either of you willing to spill before the game changed entirely?

part 23: careful and quiet sentiment

word count: 2,130 tag: @bruhidkjustwannaread | @rubyxx16 | @bellabarnes1378 | @johnmurphys-sass | @strangeobsessed

✒✒✒✒✒✒✒✒✒✒

Arthur delivered Bingham's ominous message with a fire in his eyes that spread towards all of the Blinders. All at once, Tommy shut down, his attention torn between maintaining order and keeping you safe.

It wasn't a particularly kind conversation. He insisted that you stay at Arrow House with Finn at your side. It wasn't the first time you and Tommy had a spat, but he was aggressive this time. That being said, his anger did little to stop you.

You approached the ruins of the bookshop with Finn at your side. He kept glancing over his shoulder, the paranoid thought that Tommy would find out at any moment weighing down on his chest. The remnants of the building loomed like a shadow of its former self, the air still faintly tinged with smoke. Finn hesitated a few steps behind you, glancing nervously once more.

“I don’t like this, y/n,” he muttered, his voice low but insistent. “Tommy said to stay at Arrow House. You know if he finds out—”

You stopped, turning to face him. You were calm, but there was a sharpness in your eyes, urgent and mildly desperate. “I told you, Finn. I'll only be a moment. Tommy won't know we left.”

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “Yeah, but Tommy’s not exactly the forgiving type when people go running off on their own. Especially not us. What’s so important it couldn’t wait?”

Your gaze shifted back toward the ruins. “Something personal,” you sighed, brushing past him as you stepped into the remains of the shop. “Stay here. I won't be long.”

Finn’s frown deepened, but he didn't argue. He leaned against what was left of the doorway, keeping a lookout as his foot tapped anxiously against the cracked pavement.

You told yourself this was a necessary task. This would be the last time you'd go against logic and act on your wishes. Every step you took, you were reminded of how Tommy might react—something you never thought you'd ever care about, and yet here you were, thinking about him anyway.

You picked your way through the debris, your heart pounding with a mix of determination and dread. The memories of the place threatened to overwhelm you, but you focused on one thought: the engagement ring you left in your office, the last item of sentiment that Finn and others never found. The ring you thought you'd never need again, but couldn’t bring yourself to let go of. Now, it felt like a tether to the past, one you couldn't leave behind.

When you pushed open the half-burned door to your office, you stopped in your tracks at the sight of an unwelcome guest.

Bingham sat behind what was left of your desk, leaning back in the chair with an unsettling ease. And in his hand, glinting faintly in the dim light, was the ring.

“Always the sentimental ghost,” he said with a crude grin, holding the ring up between his fingers. “But this… this seemed worth keeping.”

Your stomach twisted, but you pushed yourself to respond. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same,” he replied smoothly, rising from the chair. “Though I think I already know. Sentimental value, yes? Or something more?” He tossed the ring lightly, catching it again with a smirk.

You stepped forward, holding your hand out. “Give it to me.”

Bingham tilted his head, studying you. "I'm surprised you still have this, y/n. Even after Ezra met his tragic end, I wouldn't imagine you'd even be able to look at it, let alone keep it." He twisted the small silver band in between his fingers. "I taught you better than to let your emotions take over. And yet, here you are. The emotions have won, and I confess, I am disappointed."

"Your approval is not my concern, Alfred. Give it back to me, and I will be on my way."

“I will. But first, we need to talk.” He stepped closer, his voice dropping to a quieter, more menacing tone. “It was a foolish decision to bring the boy here. Why did you bring him? He doesn't seem to be the protective type.”

“Finn doesn't have anything to do with this.”

Bingham’s smile faded. “And yet, Tommy Shelby has everything to do with it. Finn is his brother, yes? I imagine Tommy is the kind of man who would sooner die than see his youngest sibling gunned down in the street because of some woman.”

His expression darkened as he stepped aside, motioning toward the broken window. You looked down, and the sight forced your chest to clench. Finn was on his knees just outside. One of Bingham’s men stood behind him, the barrel of a pistol pressed against the back of his head.

You laughed, a low-menacing cackle. “You fucking bastard...”

Bingham shrugged, slipping the ring into his pocket. “I am in no position to argue with your opinion of me, little mouse. You brought him here, and now, he will face the consequences of your miscalculation. All that matters now is your next decision. Should you decide to let the boy live, your conscience will be free of guilt, and you will join me once more. Should you choose otherwise...” He let the silence finish the sentence for him.

You looked back down to the sight below. Finn's eyes were wide, darting toward you as if silently begging you to fix this.

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, quietly putting up your mask again until all hint of emotion drained from your face. “It doesn't have to be this way, Alfred.”

"Does it not?"

"I made my decision long ago. Tommy Shelby and I have concluded our business. This was the last of my former self that I assumed would be the last of my time with the Peaky Blinders, with the Shelbys."

Bingham smiled, curious. “You're lying.”

You pursed your lips, casually looking around the room. “I'm done with this, Alfred. I'm afraid the Blinders are more trouble than they're worth. My time with them only resulted in the loss of my shop, and you knew this place was dear to me.”

"And Thomas Shelby?"

You tilted your chin up with a gratified smirk. "Thomas Shelby is just another man. Let Finn go. Of the Shelby brothers, he deserves it the least. If you truly need to have your chaos with them, then I'd suggest the Garrison."

With the slight nod of his head, Bingham's eyes narrowed as if he could see the gears turning in your head, every switch slowly changing until you were robotic and complacent once more. He gestured toward the door, and you walked ahead of him, every step feeling heavier than the last. When you emerged outside, Finn looked up at you, confusion and fear etched across his face.

“y/n, no—don’t do this!” Finn shouted, struggling against the man holding him. “You don’t have to—”

“Go home, Finn,” you cut him off, your voice unnaturally cold and even-tempered. You looked at him with the kind of coldness that he'd yet to see on your face. A flicker of disappointment flashed across his face when he realized you wouldn't change your mind. “You’ll be fine.”

Bingham waved his hand, and the man lowered the gun, stepping back from Finn. He stumbled to his feet, but two of Bingham’s men closed in, keeping him from running to you.

“Tell Tommy that our business has concluded." You met Finn’s gaze one last time. "New board.”

Before Finn could argue, Bingham placed his hand on your back and led you inside the car. You didn't look back, even as Finn shouted your name, his voice cracking with desperation.

✒✒✒✒✒✒✒✒✒✒

Tommy paced near the bar, a cigarette burning between his fingers. Maps and notes were laid before him, detailing routes, strongholds, and contingencies. The Shelby brothers and key Blinders stood around, waiting for orders, their expressions grim and determined. Arthur nursed a glass of whiskey, while John flicked his knife open and shut, the repetitive motion adding to the charged atmosphere.

The door suddenly burst open, and Finn stumbled in, out of breath and wide-eyed. The room froze as all eyes turned to him.

“Finn?” Tommy’s sharp tone cut through the silence.

Finn leaned against the wall, catching his breath, his face pale and his voice shaky. “It’s y/n. She left with Bingham.”

The room erupted in a flurry of movement and voices. Arthur slammed his glass on the table, John stood up so quickly his chair toppled over, and Michael’s expression darkened.

“Start talkin’,” Arthur demanded, stepping toward Finn. “What do you mean, she left with him? What happened?”

Finn ran a hand through his hair, his breathing still ragged. “We went back to the bookshop—she wanted to grab something. I told her it was a bad idea, but she wouldn’t listen. I stayed outside, but then Bingham’s men showed up.” His voice broke as he continued. “They had a gun to my head, Arthur. She... she went with him. Willingly. Told me to go home.”

Tommy’s face was unreadable, but his sharp eyes pinned Finn in place. “Why didn’t you come to me before you went to the shop?” he asked, his tone icy.

“I didn’t think—I didn’t know—” Finn stammered, his voice cracking under Tommy’s piercing gaze. “She said it would be quick. I didn’t think Bingham would—”

“You didn’t think,” Tommy snapped, slamming his hand on the table. “That’s your bloody problem, Finn.”

“Tommy,” Michael interjected, his voice calm but firm. “We need to move.”

Tommy took a long drag from his cigarette, exhaling slowly as he turned back to the table. His mind worked like clockwork, already mapping out possibilities and contingencies. He stubbed the cigarette out in a glass ashtray and straightened up, his voice cold and commanding.

His gaze swept across the room. “Arthur, John, get the men ready. Michael, you know what to do. Meet us at Arrow House as soon as you're done. We need eyes on every route out of the city. Finn—” Tommy paused, his voice hard. “Stay here.”

Finn flinched but didn’t argue. His guilt was a weight he couldn’t shake, and he knew better than to push back against Tommy now.

“What if Bingham’s already moved her?” John asked, his tone edged with frustration. “If he’s had her long enough—”

“He won’t harm her,” Tommy interrupted, his voice low but certain. “That's not what he wants.”

The room fell silent, the weight of Tommy’s words settling heavily on everyone. Arthur cracked his knuckles, his expression dark. “It's time then, isn't it, Tom?”

Tommy nodded, grabbing his coat and hat.

Finn took a deep breath, his eyes darkening as all the pieces moved around him. He spoke, slowly and clearly, delivering the last of your words. "Tommy... She said to tell you something."

Tommy turned, and his eyes narrowed.

Finn swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to the floor. “New board.”

Tommy didn’t respond, but his face twitched in the slightest as if he knew. He knew where you'd be, but most of all, he knew how the game would end.

✒✒✒✒✒✒✒✒✒✒

As the car took you down the winding roads, you sat still. You hadn't spoken since you'd left the bookshop, but you quickly recognized where you were headed. The road to Arrow House was familiar to you by now, and the cruel irony that Bingham was taking you back to the Shelby estate rang loud and clear.

He always liked these kinds of games. He could've taken you to the train station to ship you back to London. He could've taken you to some unknown spot hours away, but instead, he chose to mock Tommy by bringing you back to the place you might have considered your home. It wasn't to be cruel to you, but it was his way of shifting the odds in his favor by claiming two prizes at once.

“You’re quiet,” Bingham said, breaking the silence. “Planning something, perhaps?”

You sighed, gently brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. “You're a creature of habit, Alfred.”

He chuckled softly, as if amused by your cold demeanor. “Am I?”

“I told you about the Garrison, so you take me here because no one would be home. They're too busy scrambling trying to figure out your next move. This would be the last place they'd think to look.”

Bingham smirked, looking out the window as Arrow House came into view. “I may yet add this property to my future acquisitions.”

The car slowed to a stop, and Bingham opened the door. You looked up at the looming silhouette of Arrow House, knowing that the second you stepped foot inside, the board would shift again.

[hime-bee]

Small yandere rant below

Everyone has their own idea of what they think a yandere should and shouldn't be. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Because no matter how egregious it is, there's always gonna be at least one other person who agrees with you. If you don't like the way someone writes a yandere in a fanfic or a game, you can distance yourself from it. You don't even have to let it be known.

Personally, I really do enjoy the yandere trope, it's one of my favorites. But the way I see it is admittedly different than others who follow me might. For example, the current yandere OC's I have (Leumin, Vivian, Mikka), are all at varying levels of yandere. Some people may think Leu is too extreme, or not extreme enough. If I had to say, without spoiling the sequel, Leu is very much a "I can fix him or make him worse" kind of yandere. His disposition depends solely on MC.

While I am still working on the sequel to Inclement Idée Fixe, I've been more focused on other side projects and learning new game development software instead. I won't lie, the yandere community here (and on Itch.io) just rubs me the wrong way a lot of the time, specifically the way someone of y'all treat creators. Most of my interactions have been positive, for the most part, but I've also seen more discourse here than I have in most other fandoms. It's concerning ngl, and it makes me want to distance myself even further from it. I want to keep making things I, and others, can enjoy, but if that comes at the cost of my mental health then it's really not worth it. So whether or not I actually finish the sequel is highly dependent on whether or not I'm still willing to interact with the yandere community

I really think it just comes down to being a decent person, really. No one is forcing you to consume yandere/dark content. You're responsible for your own internet safety at the end of the day, as an adult. So please don't blame others who make the content you don't like when you're actively engaging with it.

[meowsticmarvels]

Does Phi want to live or die: an insane essay because I can't stop thinking about it [PART I]

hi!!! so i said not too long ago (like literally a few hours ago) that i'd been working on this analysis but considering this post is getting very long and tumblr's glitching and bugging out a lot (it's over 6k words!) i'm gonna post this part first as is as a little treat, and the second part will come a bit later once i write the rest of it. i'll link it here once it's done!

I've been meaning to write a proper analysis on Phi for a while (see my more proper grammar while writing this which is Unusual for me) and while there is too much of her I think abojt a lot to write ONE BIG ANALYSIS I think this topic is a pretty good one. There's a lot to be said in the wake of all of this on how Phi feels about herself and the roles she's meant to play and her own self-worth, the affects of Radical-6, and the impact the events of VLR have left on her onto ZTD (spoiler alert: it's trauma) which I will get into here. Will be up for further commentary if anyone has any + if there's any other particular topic I find interesting about her (I.e. her familial relationships, the matter of trust in her dynamics with others, her backstory/mysterious presentation and framing, or analyses where i could say how a hc would affect the narrative e.g. her being trans. id love to talk abojt that sometime.) i might get into that another time

i will preface this with a few notes:

1. If you're a little confused at why I'm even asking this it's because there's a bit of a disparity on if Phi seems to be okay with the idea of dying or not. it seems to vary by timeline and circumstance and by what the purpose of her death would be and THAT'S what I'm digging into. basically "is she okay with the idea of being a sacrifice". parts i will be looking at PRIMARILY will be K End and Another Time End in VLR and Fire / Outbreak (D-END 1) of ZTD, but others will be mentioned obviously

2. she is NOT okay with the idea of people dying FOR her and I will get into that also

3. Of course spoilers for VLR and ZTD will be in this post, and while 999 isn't really going to be discussed at all since she's not in that game by proxy as sequels they will spoil it too. So please I'd reccomend only reading this if you've played all 3 games and/or are okay with spoilers if you haven't. But I won't be giving exposition to the plot here.

4. Additionally, I'm going to warn for talks of a lot of death (obviously), trauma, and self destructive behavior/suicidal ideation. Radical-6 by nature IS going to cause this but the nature of the topic also means the things I'm going to be talking about in the way Phi views herself is going to be a little fucked up. She's fucked up.

5. Any screenshots used will likely be taken trom someone's playthrough or the LP Archive, however I'm planning on just inserting quotes into the text when possible.

anyways!!! here comes the analysis. LONG post incoming

TABLE OF CONTENTS (only I-VI are in this post)

- VLR -

I. SURVIVAL OF THE SELFISH

II. K END

III. RADICAL-6

IV. ANOTHER TIME

- ZTD -

I. SURVIVAL OF THE SELFISH

V. AFTERMATH

VI. FIRE

VII. OUTBREAK

VIII. SUPPRESSION

IX. SELF-DEFINITION

At the start of Virtue's Last Reward and throughout most of the plot mostly early game Phi could very well be described as a selfish person. She acts in her own self interest primarily and will betray others if it means guaranteeing her own survival. It's not that she's completely against cooperation, otherwise the end wouldn't happen, and she isn't willing to go so far as to kill to save herself, but this is still important to consider. One day I'll get more into the nature of trust and how she pushes people away but I'm just going to mention it a bit here. The nature of the AB Game requires complicated moral dilemmas like this. Some characters are more selfish or selfless than others and will betray or ally in specific circumstances, and during the start of VLR, Phi could definitely be seen as the latter.

SIGMA: Damn... you're pretty cold, you know that? PHI: I prefer bold, but whatever. I just don't let emotions get in the way.

This is an interesting line in of itself that she doesn't actually LIKE being perceived as cold - and states here that she just "doesn't let emotions get in the way". Which I assume is both her own and other people's. Despite her cold and unemotional demeanor she does really feel a lot of things quite deeply, as evidenced by Way too many scenes for me to list, it's just something she tries not to let get in the way of decision making. Usually. This is important. But what's also important is her actual opinion on acting this way, on routes where she talks about the Prisoner's Dilemma:

PHI: In this game, if each individual acts for the benefit of the whole group, everyone benefits. But if everyone starts looking out for themselves, it'll impact the group negatively... And eventually it'll impact them negatively too. If all of us choose "betray" then the group gets 0 points. Ultimately, nobody benefits. Not even the individual. In other words, selfish but logical decisions hurt everyone, and they hurt you.

before I get into what this means, I'll also bring up this segment:

SIGMA: What you're saying is that I should pick "ally". PHI: No. I mean the opposite. SIGMA: What?! PHI: If you're going to make the most logical choice here, the only option is "betray". SIGMA: What?! Why?! You just explained why that was a terrible idea! PHI: No, I didn't. It's not the prisoner's solution. It's the prisoner's dilemma. Even though there's an outcome where everybody's happy, the choice you'd have to make for that outcome isn't the rational one. You want to pick it, but you can't. A dilemma.

This is at its core the heart of how the AB Game works, really. The ideal of the game WOULD be for everyone to Ally and escape together, which is what happens in Phi End, but not with countless (we see 20+) other timelines in which that doesn't happen because of various reasons that people can't cooperate or die too soon. It's a dilemma. You can't really guarantee how the other person will act, unless it's someone like Dio or Luna who will almost exclusively Betray or Ally respectively, but even they don't always act that way and have reasons for doing so. It's incredibly difficult and perhaps even ridiculous to expect all 9 players - all strangers - to vote Ally, especially with preconceived notions of eachother and secret personal goals to escape. And Phi is incredibly conscious of this. She knows she can't trust anyone to for sure Ally, but Betraying is a "safe" option especially in the first round and the more logical to protect yourself. Even if it means getting others into the 1 BP territory. She plays the game carefully. Even though in the first round she isn't actually supposed to know that dropping to 0 BP or below will kill you and only really knows because of morphogenetic field/time jump stuff, based on that inexplicable feeling she acts this way. The fact that everyone Allies in Phi End at the later point is almost a fucking miracle.

There's a lot I could go into in terms of Phi and the nature of trust in the AB Game but my main focus for bringing this up is protecting herself to survive. A desire to stay alive, in some way, e.g. instances where she has only 1 BP.

In contrast to all the Phi End talk here's the "everyone Betrays" scenario on tbe way to Alice End. Naturally Betraying when going against Dio is the logical option but there's a LOT of risk involved here.

ALICE: Two other people just tried to kill someone! SIGMA: Phi and Dio. ALICE: Yes! If Dio had chosen "ally", Phi would have killed Tenmyouji. And if she'd chosen "ally", Dio would have killed her.

Funnily enough this is not the only time Dio attempts to kill Phi (see: Dio End which Phi also DOES retaliate at him for. i love violence). But my point is here the weight in the decisions here. Both Allying OR Betraying is insanely risky for Phi in this scenario. An Ally, and Dio has no qualms with letting her die. With Tenmyouji out of the picture to take care of Quark, Betraying is the safest option. Even Alice says it's a "valid defensive move". But what's really interesting is the conversations this sparks.

TENMYOUJI: Hmph. Hard to trust someone who tried to kill me. PHI: Same to you. I told you letting Dio vote was a stupid idea. What did you think he was going to do? You might as well have pressed the button yourself! TENMYOUJI: I couldn't just leave Quark alone. PHI: That's no excuse. And where do you get off telling me I shouldn't have picked "betray"? Did you even think that through? What, I was supposed to pick "ally"? If I'd done that, I'd be dead right now! TENMYOUJI: I could say the same thing to you! Damn good thing Dio didn't choose "ally"!

This conversation is so so interesting to me. It puts a rift between Phi and Tenmyouji where there wasn't before because the other could've been killed, and Dio stands in the way of all of this by virtue of voting for Tenmyouji. There's a LOT I could say here especially on Tenmyouji's sake about Quark, but my focus is Phi here. Take a look at the text I put in bold above - "If I'd done that, I'd be dead right now". Which doesn't mean a whole lot on its own other than that Phi is willing to protect her own life at this point, but keep this in mind for future reference as it's a major contrast from a lot of other things she says on the topic of death.

II. K END

I'm not going to preface this by listing everything that happens in this ending, but all you need to know is at the point I'm focusing on, eventually K(yle), Dio, and Phi need to go through one of the white Chromatic Doors together. That's the only way they can go through. Dio is killed and has his bracelet smashed and nonfunctional which leaves both Kyle and Phi up for a penalty. Death. That's the gist of it, at least. Of course I know that Kyle was the one that killed Dio and smashed his bracelet in a fucked up way of seeing if Sigma would pick Phi or him as a method of testing his father's love, but really, the focus of my analysis here is on Phi as one of the sole remaining survivors in this ending. Many of the lines in this end are self-explanatory so I won't comment too much on the ones I selected but I pulled a few I felt were relevant.

PHI: Go on ahead, Sigma. You have those bracelets K gave you, right? You should be able to get through the secondary door with those. So just— SIGMA: Fuck that! You know I can't just ditch you guys like that!

^ Phi is surprisingly okay with the idea of Sigma just leaving them to die (likely since him staying behind puts his life at risk too, and as will be shown she does not like the idea of people dying for HER)

More text incoming as Sigma decides to have Phi be the one to be saved with the neostigmine due to Kyle's armor and Sigma not even thinking about himself. This is one of the most interesting parts of the route to me:

PHI: S-Sigma... What the hell...did you... SIGMA: I injected you with neostigmine... It's a type of cholinesterase inhibitor...It's the antidote to the muscle relaxant... PHI: Why did you...pick...me?

A bit self explanatory here and will make a bit more sense when discussing Fire but I really like Phi asking why she would be the one to survive. It's interesting IDK

PHI: No... Screw this... I don't want...to live if it means...being in debt...to you... No...goddamn...way... I'm not...gonna...

Once again pay very close attention to the highlighted text. That particular line is fucking fascinating to me. There's the idea of a "debt" to be paid with sacrifice here, as if she feels she owes Sigma some eternal debt that she can never repay in this timeline. And that's not worth living for in her eyes. She doesn't want to live with that weight. But she's doomed, in a tragic way, to survive it. I'll continue more on this idea when I get to Fire in ZTD on the nature of Phi being incredibly against sacrifices made for her life to be saved, but for now I think it's just worth pointing out how much she hates the idea. Hell this dialogue implies she would rather have just been let to die than to live with Sigma's sacrifice weighing on her and that's fucking interesting. And also really sad. Being forced to live in a doomed timeline where only a few people are alive is almost worse (if memory serves right I think Quark is still alive here but then again he's a 10 year old child). Nothing is elaborated on further in this timeline as Phi passes out from the anesthetic and Sigma and Kyle die, but this is a timeline where she's doomed to wake up eventually to their dead bodies. Not many people are left here other than Quark and maybe Luna. It's a dead end.

III. RADICAL-6

I was going to have to talk about Radical-6 eventually, wasn't I. Before I really get into this I'll mention the obvious: one of Rad6's main symptoms is causing suicidal ideation. This isn't shown outright with Phi in particular at any point, but she does show the symptoms, in its most extreme way, in Clover End.

SIGMA (NARRATION): In the middle of the lake of blood, like an island of flesh, were bodies. They were a bloody tangle of lifeless limbs and dead eyes, with too much blood and chaos for me to tell who was who. Had they sliced themselves open? Or stabbed one another? I couldn't tell.

Phi slices her own throat.

The effects of Rad6 are, obviously not actually a person's real intentions nor are they thinking clearly to do so, but it's still worth addressing in this case because Phi will very likely remember this ending in Zero Time Dilemma. She very well has the possibility to remember what it's like to feel feelings exacerbated and caused by the virus and the act of suicide itself because of all the esper shenanigans possible here. So although this says little about Phi's ACTUAL intentions and opinions towards death because of Rad6's influence, it's still a point I felt was worth mentioning due to that. And it's hard to discuss the topics of death and suicide without bringing up Rad6 in some capacity.

IV. ANOTHER TIME

As stated I'll go into Another Time End a little bit but mostly just exploring the idea of more doomed timelines here. This is where I managed to put the dialogue from failing to disarm the bombs in Phi End.

PHI: Our time's up. This is it. Before...well, before it ends... I wanted to tell you thanks. You knew we were about to die, but you still stuck with me. A lot of people wouldn't have done that. You're a good person. There's...one more thing. ...I'm glad I met you. The moment I saw you, you seemed...familiar. Anyway, thanks. It looks like our time's almost up. Hopefully the others will make it. There isn't much hope for us, though. I think this is— SIGMA: Don't you dare say "goodbye." PHI: ...What? SIGMA: We'll meet again. Somewhere. Somewhen. I guarantee it.

Sigma is right, by the way, in terms of things like SHIFTing its entirely possible he was alluding to that here, but it's the sentiment that matters. Dying is not either of their decisions at that point, and a cruel fate since this timeline only exists when neither of them can find the necessary passwords. And god is this interesting. Granted this says more about how much Sigma actually truly meant to Phi as much as she refuses to admit it but I still feel it's relevant. This is what happens when a threat of death becomes fate. I want to point out a specific part of that segment just because it's really interesting to me:

PHI: [...] You knew we were about to die, but you still stuck with me. A lot of people wouldn't have done that. [...]

I can't really explain why I like this line so much. But this entire part is a really interesting moment of an example of character growth, even if it spans however many timelines Phi ended up seeing and jumping between. And this line... I don't know. I'm not sure if it's a comment on that most people wouldn't stick with her specifically or just most people are selfish by nature, but either way I really like it. The focus of this analysis isn't Sigma and Phi's incredibly close dynamic even though they rarely will actually admit how much they mean to each other but it's so so necessary to think about I think. Despite everything, all the deaths and betrayal and hardship, Phi's glad she met Sigma. On the topic of character growth and/or Phi caring about others more than she lets on, though, there's also this part from the same excerpt:

PHI: [...] Hopefully the others will make it. There isn't much hope for us, though. [...]

It's important to think about the fact that Phi isn't completely selfish and cruel. She has her moments and is notoriously very cold and blunt but is nowhere NEAR the level of selfish that people like Dio reach and at least cares enough about the safety of others to hope they're okay. There's way too much other evidence for me to bring up the fact that she does actually care about people more than she lets on (especially Sigma and Quark most notably), so I'm not going to bring up every single piece of evidence that proves this but there's a lot. My point is that even though she has her relatively selfish and cold moments in VLR a lot of them can already be justified as an act of self-defense AND she's got a lot of actually genuinely caring moments beneath face value. She's just got a bit of a prickly exterior and isn't really used to people getting close. And by this end she's already begun to warm up to getting a bit closer to the participants of the third Nonary Game (bar Dio obviously she still very much hates him in this timeline)

This is relevant because very soon I'll be getting into the changes she goes through between VLR's Phi End and ZTD, so really understanding how she operates throughout VLR is necessary for really getting into the change. Setting up a basis for how she acted before and contrasting it to her ZTD characterization - that's pretty much what I'm doing here.

I want to go more into Another Time END a bit later (in the context of D-END 1 and in the context of her self-definition) but I'm putting this quote here for necessity and to get you thinking. Pay very close attention to the text I put in bold.

PHI: I'm kind of an unknown variable in this situation. You could think of me as a kind of... x-factor. It's taken me the last three and a half months to understand it. ?: And I haven't understood anything in the last three and a half seconds. Could you please explain? PHI: It's kind of like the relationship between classical mechanics and modern physics. Strictly speaking, you can't combine velocities with (v1 + v2). (v1 + v2) / (1 + (v1 x v2) / c^2) is the actual equation. Of course, the sort of velocities we encounter in day-to-day life don't come close to being c^2, which is the speed of light squared. That means that (1 + (v1 x v2) / c^2) is usually going to evaluate to something pretty close to 1. Since that would mean dividing by 1, it's usually okay to just skip that step and use (v1 + v2). You see what I'm saying? In most situations it works, even if it isn't technically correct.

And this, from the part where Sigma and Phi jump back in time to stop Dio from killing Akane. I don't have too much commentary on it but in the grand scheme of things I felt it needed to go somewhere.

SIGMA: People have died for this. I mean, let's count how many different ways people died... Murder, antimatter explosion, suicide... I've died. So has Phi. So have you.

V. AFTERMATH

AKANE: The purpose of the AB Project was to send the two of you into the past. Or your minds, at least. In order for that to happen, some death was necessary. When a human brain is faced with danger, its processing speed increases. Information is processed more quickly, and time almost seems to slow—a few seconds can feel like an eternity.

I don't think I have to prove that the events of all three main Games across the ZE series are incredibly traumatic for everyone involved. Junpei in ZTD is the most extreme representation of this but practically nobody really leaves any of these games the same. Granted, danger is necessary for a SHIFT to occur - as stated above and in many other parts of the series danger increases esper abilities - but this does not make the presence of danger any LESS catastrophic to Fucking You Up Quite A Bit. Most espers end up remembering their own deaths by the end of it all. While one of the less obvious cases, Phi does seem to clearly be damaged quite a bit by the events of VLR at least in my opinion.

She has virtually no dialogue in the written Prologue, so instead the best I'm getting for this part of the game is the flashback in Fire with her and Diana:

DIANA: Something the matter? PHI: No, not really... It's been three days since I came to Dcom… But nothing's happened. Nothing strange at all…

[...]

PHI: Hey, Diana. I want to ask you something... Would you mind…giving me a hug? DIANA: …Huh? PHI: I'm just... really tired...

I don't think I have to go into detail how especially the last part is a stark contrast from how she acts throughout almost all of VLR. She lets herself be vulnerable and exposed to Diana in a way she really doesn't allow other to people see here and it's so fascinating to me. Diana is someone she can trust to let down her barriers. Someone Phi can actively ask for support when she needs it as much as she doesn't want to admit she does. Their dynamic is REALLY interesting and what this is really indicative of is too I think. The first quote brings up her, Sigma, and Akane's time at DCOM specifically to stop the spread of Radical-6 - and they've got a few days of DCOM where nothing happens. Only a few, granted, mentally Phi has just experienced VLR and went straight to DCOM afterwards, but even these few days feel strange now that nothing's happening. After experiencing the insanity that is VLR this completely makes sense that it's just weird to be in some sort of neutral zone where nothing's happening but it's STATED to happen. And it does, the Decision Game happens later, but how does it feel to just be in wait? The second quote is interesting, also, as she lays it out plainly: she's tired. Maybe this is just situational and not a result of exhaustion or anything similar but I do believe it definitely impacted her to a great amount - as evidenced by her change in behavior to ZTD. She's much more trusting and has learned that since, but much more self-sacrificing at the same time. These next few quotes I'll elaborate on more in the self-definition segment, but they're important:

DIANA: "Not even gods can return to the past, so live in the moment so you have no regrets." That's not the right interpretation? PHI: Well, if you take it at face value. I guess that'd make sense, if I was a normal human being. DIANA: Does that mean that you're not?

This is what Phi and Diana say about Phi's brooch - "Not even jupiter can find a lost opportunity". Phi's wording is interesting, here - she's talking about her status as an esper, but as of this point in the story that's something Diana's not supposed to know (never mind her being one), but her phrasing as labelling herself "not a normal human being" is really really interesting. She certainly isn't, but it feels all the more permanent - can she ever go back? Will she ever be able to? What's considered 'normal' to her? Similarly,

PHI: Hey, this isn't normal, right? DIANA: It is. You're a completely normal girl, Phi.

Not a lot I can say here - I want to roughly try to stay on topic, but in terms of analysis I really like this line. Phi doesn't consider what she's doing 'normal', at least not with someone she barely has met. I also really like Diana's response to this; she reassures Phi by telling her that this is normal, what she's feeling is okay and normal to feel, and she is too. While Phi isn't 'normal' by definition of not being an esper, despite the weight of the world on her shoulders and her cold exterior she is still human. She's not perfect, she DOES feel things, and that's okay. This has gone slightly off topic but I feel like this part's worth mentioning somewhere in the grand scheme of things or for ANY analysis at all, and will be brought up again in the self-definition section. But there's more to Phi and Diana's relationship once the actual Decision Game begins, and what it means for Phi's idea of her own self-worth.

VI. FIRE

SYSTEM: Incinerator startup... will now commence. Incineration in... thirty minutes.

This is the big one. The big fragment I've been building to, and part of the reason I wrote this analysis at all instead of focusing on a different theme related to Phi such as family or trust (both interesting still, though). Once again, I won't preface this by explaining the fragment - but here, Phi's in the incinerator (reminiscent of 999...). A lot of the way she acts here is of major interest to me, especially after the puzzle room - notably she's incredibly self-sacrificing. I won't say that she's completely apathetic to her death, because she isn't:

PHI: I need to stop firing myself up or else I really will be… PHI: ...Stay calm, Phi.

But, I mean, who wouldn't when placed with the threat of burning to death. It's a slow and painful way to die, at that. But you'll see a lot throughout this fragment is Phi's mentality of "rather me than them" - as painful as death is, at this point she'd rather be the martyr to save their lives than the opposite.

PHI: Diana and Sigma are over there... Damn! Why am I here... But it's better that I'm the only one who got locked in.

At this point she doesn't know her death would save their lives (the true rules of the decision in this fragment haven't been revealed), but is still willing to be the martyr as she's the only one currently at risk of dying as far as all of D-Team knows. Maybe it's because she can SHIFT out, maybe it's because she sees herself as a worthy sacrifice, maybe it's both. This is also all the more noteworthy knowing she and Sigma both remember VLR - they've both died, both had to make sacrifices, and been through many of the same circumstances. Although where it is in their memory is different - for Phi it's mentally a few days prior and for Sigma it was decades ago but he's spent those decades creating it (and without the ability to talk to Phi) - that doesn't get rid of their bond. Phi's bond with Diana is a little different since the only scene they get is the flashback (if you want my personal opinion, I feel like Phi should have taken a bit longer to trust her or at least be wary; maybe not as slowly as it took her to trust Sigma, but it feels out of nowhere IMO. it could still show her development with coming to trust people but still provide an interesting and heartbreaking bond), but nevertheless still important. And then comes the decision.

DELTA: Diana, both of their lives rest upon your decision.

PHI: How dare you not consider everyone else's feelings, Sigma! What if the shot is a live bullet?! Do you really want Diana to end up blowing your head off with her own hands?!

What does Diana do? Sacrifice Phi's life for a guaranteed chance of saving Sigma? Or risk Sigma's life - a 50/50 chance of him living - to save Phi?

This analysis isn't about Sigma so I won't go too far into detail about his lines, but the important thing is that he's willing to risk his life for Phi - and it's the logical decision in his mind, since there's a chance of everybody living. If Phi dies, someone's guaranteed to die, but if Diana shoots Sigma, there's a 50% chance they all make it out alive. It's the more pragmatic decision, however Phi is very against it.

It feels a bit like the expected roles they'd play have reversed since VLR, or at least for a scenario like this. In a way, she's right - Sigma barely considers the fact that he might die. And the implication of her bringing up Diana is also a really interesting point of consideration that Sigma also doesn't think about - Phi knows Diana won't be able to handle the guilt of killing Sigma. She knows that, and in the timeline where that does happen, she's right. Sigma's sacrifice isn't just a simple detached death like with Phi's; if Diana chooses to shoot Sigma and he does die, she had an active role in his death. Which is sort of the complexity behind the trolley problem in the first place (it essentially is a sort of trolley problem - except there's a chance they'll both live and both victims are asking to be a martyr to save the other). I also want to call to attention Phi's specific wording of everyone; she mentions just Diana at the end, but given her difficulty with expressing her own feelings it doesn't feel like a stretch to assume that this is about her feelings too. Looking at her reaction in the ending where Sigma DOES die (which I will get to), it's clear she really can't bear to lose Sigma either. Not after everything. Not after all of this.

DIANA: But Phi, if I don't pull the trigger, you'll... PHI (facing away): Don't worry about me.

Like I said, she seems to believe herself to be expendable in this situation. Sigma can't die - she can't handle that, but in her eyes, she can. If it means he and Diana live. She basically asks Diana to let her be the sacrifice, even though there's a chance they can all make it out alive. I also will point out that while Phi had some moments of this in VLR, this is a stark contrast between her much more self-interested characterization there. Also, note what I wrote down in the quote - while ZTD's models aren't the best or the most expressive, I think it's an interesting detail that she faces away from them for a moment and while saying this. So what's Diana meant to do? Pull the trigger, and leave open the possibility of everyone living while it risks her killing Sigma? Or let Phi burn to death? Sigma wants her to pull it - it's the more pragmatic choice, they can all live, maybe - and Phi wants to ensure that Sigma won't die. Even if it means she burns to death. We're able to see all three options, but most of them aren't pretty.

As it's the shortest of all three options by a long shot, I'm going to first discuss Shoot: Live; where Diana shoots Sigma and he dies. There's not much to preface this with other than what's on the tin: Sigma has died by Diana's hand in an effort to save Phi.

PHI (crying): Why?! Why did you do it?! You murderer! Murderer! I wasn't... I didn't matter at all! I didn't...! I didn't...! So why... Why did you...

Yeah. It's a pretty heartbreaking route, and probably the most emotional Phi is seen as being apart from near the end where she yells at Delta, maybe. Every part of her that she's held together up to this point just falls apart. The subtitles/captions don't do it justice as her VA sounds a bit more like she's struggling to get out what she wants to say at all. Like as if she's so upset and broken by witnessing Sigma die right in front of her, and FOR her, that she basically breaks down right here. Hell, right after this line she stops actually saying anything and just cries until Diana picks up the gun. (side note: not to nitpick but the some of pauses here sound like the type of pause that would be used with an em dash rather than an ellipsis. take that as you will)

It's easy to wonder why she'd call Diana a murderer, of all things, considering the extremity of that accusation and Phi KNOWING she was forced into that situation, but once again you have to consider Phi's emotional state. It doesn't even sound like she's speaking clearly, and grief and trauma makes people do and say pretty fucked up things sometimes (and especially when it's someone so close to you. Phi also WATCHED Sigma die). Given the fact that she already didn't seem to be doing the best in the first place it mostly just seems to be something she said in the moment out of grief rather than an accusation with any real weight behind it. It's not completely out of nowhere - and may imply some sort of resentment towards Diana for choosing to pick that (which I will also get into in Shoot: Blank) - but my point is this line should be taken with a major grain of salt. Maybe some of it comes from somewhere, such as hidden feelings suddenly being vocalized and taken to their extreme, but not all of it may be how she really feels and just an inflation due to her mental state.

Another thing to consider is her constant questioning of why - why would Diana ever pick Sigma over her? Why would she make that decision? Phi can't fathom it. Even though Sigma did say it's the more logical situation because that means there's a chance they all could've survived, she still doesn't understand that she'd even be worth sacrifice. See the K End segment for more on Phi hating people - especially Sigma - sacrificing themselves for her (I'll get to it in Suppression but she seems to cope better when the death isn't FOR her to live, if it is she seems to deal with it a lot worse), but here its taken to its extreme.

I also need to point out the text in bold. It's so so important to this I think. She doesn't think she's worth the sacrifice. She didn't matter, doesn't matter, so why would Diana do it? Why would she risk Sigma's life? Again I'll point out that Phi's self-sacrificing nature here could be a result of many things; maybe because she can SHIFT out and she's done it before (too many times, maybe), maybe because she's just that willing to die for Sigma and Diana to live, maybe it's a mix of it all, and any of those could ring true here. But my point is that it seems like she doesn't understand Diana's decision or that she could really be worth dying for. She didn't matter, after all. (once again, take this with a grain of salt, but still.)

This route ends not long after this but I do want to mention how much of a horrifying dead end it is. Phi was right about Diana being unable to handle the guilt, and she kills herself - leaving Phi alone. On the topic of how Phi's more emotional here than before, she literally screams at the end of the fragment before the "Game Over" screen plays. This is the worst possible end to Fire, I think - two people die instead of the expected one, and the sole survivor is struggling to cope with even one of the two deaths she just witnessed. That was enough to cause her to break down completely. Adding onto that another death of someone she cares about, especially a suicide, is A Lot. For anyone it would be. It makes sense why it just ends right there; where else would it go, really, and anything that could happen is fairly bleak, but it's interesting to think about. Anthropic Principle confirms she lives, and considering the revelation that all of D-Team is poisoned from the start in Don't Shoot it implies she drank the antidote. But where does she even go from there? In the timeline where C-Team all dies, she ends up as the sole survivor, even. I don't know. But it's an interesting thing to think about for an absolutely heartbreaking and tragic end. It's a dead end, really. What's Phi meant to do now? After all this? After losing the people she cared about?

in the second part I'll continue starting from Shoot:Blank - but the rest of the analysis will go there. i'll link it in this post once it's done! i'll even include some deleted lines from Fire from TCRF because they're quite interesting ! feel free to leave any commentary you have (so far) in tags or replies because i'd love to hear :} (also note: everything up to near the end of Aftermath was written months ago, the rest was written in the past few days)

[catparent94]

I have thoughts about Donnie I think that might seem contradictory but at the same. Not really.

One is that Donnie has probably done the most morally questionable things/ probably the most morally grey. But the second most dependable character for the turtles next to Raph. My ramble about this is below.

One thing that makes me think this is that Donnie will go along with a plan, even if he complains the whole time. One point to this is essentially the whole ROTTMNT movie.

For instance, even though Donnie hates what he describes as, "The disgusting, sticky slime jungle?" He still goes along with it. But that doesn't mean he won't complain when he sarcastically says, "I know. Leo is always right."

Also, like Raph, in the movie, he got his shell hurt. More like his battleshell, but still. He protected Mikey from getting hurt. Then Mikey going, "Your softshell. It is exposed." But Donnie still making sure that Mikey still goes into the turtle tank first.

Then, there is the scene in the movie where everyone is fighting the Krang and Donnie is on top of a building. Donnie seemed to be trying to create some protective construct but didn't have time to make it properly. Also, during that scene, he was trying to keep Mikey behind him the whole time. So Donnie got hit in the face by the Kran when creating the construct, which I think might have made him stunned.

Another part I am looking at is that in the "Cloak and Swaggart" episode, Donnie was constantly trying to find a way out of the turtle with his brothers, so trying to figure out a solution.

But he also shows he can be the second most dependable by ironically the Witch Town episode. Even as contradictory as that might sound. Because in that episode, he is trying to convince April that science is superior. But after a talk-to-talk, it is shown he puts up this front because he doesn't want to be replaced by mystic powers. And thought his only worth was his tech. So, in a sense, because of this, he just wants to be useful but doesn't really want to know how at some points.

I think this is the reason why he wants praise from his family. So he knows he is contributing something to the team. This is more for future analysis, but Splinter tried his best. But he did have some faults, which might have led to this. Still, I really like this version of Splinter, but the show does show that he is complicated.

Also, this is for a future analysis I am doing, but Donnie put himself in harms way with Draxum Shredder a lot in the "End Game" episode with. But I am going to do that analysis at a later date.

If anyone wants to add anything more in the comments, please do. Because I might add more myself later.

As a side note, I really like the name for Donnie and Raph's Duo name as Protector and Provider.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Jude Jazza Route Theories Pt. 4 - His Fated End ☾.

My theory posts include future major route spoilers for Ellis and Roger, please do not read if you don't wish to be spoiled.

This is my final theory post for Jude, and you know, for some reason I’m quite emotional about this. In any case, this is just for fun, and I'd love for you to share what you think his cursed fate is! ☾.

To be frank, I feel like his fated end could go several ways. Most of you know that most of my theories are formed around in-game lore, and more “realistic” approaches. And, yes I am going to do the same thing with this post of sorts, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have an imagination either.

For example, I’ve always thought (and still do think) it would be amazing if Jude’s fate was that he suffered not from immortality, but longevity. A sort of play off his Dark IF lore, and it's not something he could control himself. However, while a tiny part of hopes that this may still be the case, I feel like it won't be. So, onto the "realistic" theories??

What do we know? It seems that Jude can die. He almost dies all the time. Additionally, the prologue alludes to (as many other events do) that Jude wants to die, and he is potentially instigating his death by making enemies.

What could we base his demise on? While, I think the original fairytales are simply lovely, I don’t think they will be the basis. Still, they are what brought Jude to us by extension, so I feel like the following fates of the fairies, wise-woman, and other antagonists are worth an honorable mention. Very quickly, in the order they were written, their fates are:

Basile’s “Sun, Moon, & Talia”: The Queen is the antagonist and she ends up being cast into a fire that she had intend to cast Talia into.

Sentence: Death by immolation.

Perrault’s “The Sleeping Beauty In The Wood”: There are in fact two antagonists in this story. The 8th old fairy who curses the princess, and the ogre queen mother of the prince whom married the princess.

Sentence: There is no outcome written about 8th old fairy, this means her fate is open for interpretation. However, the ogress offs herself by jumping into a tub of vipers and toads.

Grimm Bro’s “Little Brier-Rose”: The shortest of the tales, in which the 13th wise woman (or fairy) curses the princess as well. It is implied that the old spinner the princess meets when she pricks her finger is the 13th fairy.

Sentence: There is no outcome written for the 13th fairy, this means her fate is left open for interpretation.

See why I don’t think they are going to be inspiration for Jude’s fate? I doubt that Jude will be thrown into a large cauldron to be eaten by serpents and toads. Although, it wouldn’t be too difficult for them to implement a death by fire of sorts. All in all, one of the good things about the obscurity regarding the fates of the other faeries is that it allows you for your own interpretation as to what happened to them.

Which leads me to Disney…..

For all intents and purposes, Disney did not create Sleeping Beauty as we’ve discussed, but Cybird has taken a lot of inspiration from it’s adaptions, and that’s because Disney has fleshed out the the villain Maleficent unlike majority of the fairytales. For example, even with Jude’s costume color design: Purple, black, and green are all odes to the 1959 Disney adaption. Even Dark If, where it’s mentioned that the humans and the faeries fought with one another, is a nod towards the 2014 Maleficent adaption.

So, what do I think Jude’s fate will be?

Main Theory: Jude is destined to die by the “sword of truth,”. It’s highly possible that Cybird may opt to use Disney’s destruction of Maleficent in the 1959 movie as inspiration for Jude’s fate. Why? Because they did the same thing for Ellis.

In his BLE Chapter 22, Roger tells Kate that Ellis is fated to die at the hands of justice, just like the the prince who hacked away the briar hedge with his sword - which is Disney’s version. Ellis’ predecessor was gunned down by the police, and therefore died by the “hands of justice.” In a similar vein, I feel that Cybird will follow a similar path somehow.

Perhaps, if Crown no longer protects him (or betrays him) and his sins become public knowledge, or if his enemies were to find out the truth of how Jude got the best of them, I think “death” will await him. In his route, I feel like the Privy Council will try to do something to frame Jude related to the drug/human-trafficking industry, when they themselves are the ones to blame.

Any in game lore to support this? Jude gets stabbed all the time. And… Roger’s route alludes to the drug industry (medicinal from our current understanding), as being Jude’s territory, so the Privy Council trying to oust Jude by involving him with illegal drugs is on the table, I think.

My other theory: And this is just something that I’m throwing out there, but I feel like Jude may be destined to be abandoned, or for lack of a better word, betrayed by everyone he loves.

I think that if he’s had a hard life (a parent/s left him behind), or suffered a loss of a loved one in death, or perhaps experienced the pain of seeing someone he was in love with leave him for another, would be the pinnacle of angst.

It would explain why he doesn’t want to curse or be cursed, because in the end, Kate would abandon or leave him too. Not saying she’d maliciously do it, but something might happen where she feels he’s acting in his best interest, but isn’t. Well, it’s just a thought I had from a bunch of random little things I felt I noticed in game, but I won’t even try to explain that. You could say that this is a more emotional theory of mine, but I don't think it holds much weight.

Naturally, Cybird can do something completely different, and honestly, as much as it would be cool to say, “I called it!” It would be nice if they did something completely unexpected, and maybe they will? I’d love to say, “I didn’t see that coming,” and cry my eyes out.

Whatever his fate is, it will be heartbreaking I’m sure, but I look forward to finally peering into his heart and watch him as he let’s Kate into his so he doesn’t have to share his burdens on his own.

Thanks to everyone whose read my theories and shared their theories with me, it's been a lot of fun! In any case, I’d love to hear what you all think his fate is about!

[mourningliliesmorningglories]

Blowing Smoke

A Jegulus song lyric one shot. I'm trying a new layout so lmk what you think! Guys this actually came to me like a fever dream.

wc: 1042 // @jegulus-microfic

Regulus isn't stupid. He sees it, all of it. He sees how she looks at James and how James looks back at her. It wasn't enough for him to have Regulus because you always chase the things you only get a taste of. This too, Regulus knows all too well. He stays hidden in the astronomy tower, behind tapestries, and alcoves in the dark. She can be loved out loud, in the common room, in the great hall, in the daylight. Today is the end day. Regulus plays the part of executioner and guilty both. He knows that to love something is to lose it too. That does not make this easier. 

James crashes through the door of the tower, rumpled and blushing. He was always loud, always the centre of attention. His eyes land on Regulus, and just for a second, Regulus stills. He can't keep this, but god, how he wants to. Maybe he never even had it, but there's something there, just not worth playing second for. James carries that boyish smile, the one reserved only for Regulus, but it's too late. A sacrifice is only a sacrifice once the blood is drawn. 

"Tell me, is she prettier than she was on the internet?" Regulus' face shifts into indifference. No preamble, no games. He is still a Black at the end of the day. 

"Reg, what are you talking about?" James shifts uncomfortably. He knew this was coming. Not this soon though, he pleads, not right now. 

"Are your conversations cool, like are you even interested?" Regulus stands, leaning against the railing of the tower. His arms sit crossed over his chest, less to be intimidating, and more to keep his heart where it should be. His tone is light, conversational almost. 

"This is about Lily." James' voice is toneless, his eyes immediately dull. Not now. Not now. 

"Who else, James, who else?" 

In any other scenario, you just might have been able to convince Regulus he was wrong, that James was just trying to protect them both. Maybe he would've believed that a year of hiding was worth it, that kissing in cupboards and avoiding eye contact in the dinner hall was just the way it should be. But Regulus will not be an object of shame outside of his home, he won't drag that ignominy behind him when he doesn't have to. 

"She's my friend." His eyes narrow. "I'm not going to avoid her just because she makes you insecure." James isn't an argumentative person. In fact, he's a talker, a placater, and so he can't quite figure out why defending Lily comes to him so easily. 

"I know what you are, brighter than the stars." Now Regulus' voice is pure mockery, just so he can see how far James flinches. "Did you mean that then?"

"That was a private conversation. Who even told you about that?"

"I don't think me finding out is the issue here."

"She was upset, she's got so much going-"

"And me, James? How much have I got going on?" Now Regulus promised himself to stay put together, but this, this is his frailty. Too emotional, too expressive when it counts the least. "I'm your dirty little secret because Sirius wouldn't be able to handle sharing. I'm one wrong step away from my parents beating me half to death. So tell me." 

"No."

"Tell me what the fuck is so awful in her life you just had to recycle the same line you used on me?"

James is quiet, chest heaving. He can feel curls sticking to the nape of his neck from sweat. How could he choose? How could Regulus make him. The silence was crackling like it was electrified. A blush crept up Regulus' cheeks. He looked younger in that moment, and something tugs at James' chest, but a callow face does not mean weakness. 

"Tell me if she takes you far." And James knows exactly what Regulus means. Even through his derisive tone, Regulus had something that kept James grounded, something that kept him tethered. And he hates it. 

"Far away from you." James is angry now, but he can't quite tell who it's at. "Far enough away from all the baggage you've been carrying." His head is a mess, and the only person who could help won't. Who the fuck does Regulus think he is? What the fuck has he done?

"My baggage? Oh, you're funny, Potter. Go on, run away again." Regulus' tone is harsh, derisive. "Up another hill to all the girls who'll help you bury it."

"Oh, fuck off Regulus. Back to surnames? Really? Can't we just talk?"

"About what? The lying? The running? The hiding? No, we can't fucking talk. Grow up."

"Baby Black, so insecure, so naive." James' words are trite to Regulus. "And the girls? What fucking girls? How could I when you're always just behind me?"

"Apparently that still didn't stop you." A flicker of hurt runs through Regulus, but he tamps it down. 

"You know nothing about me. You don't understand. I have a reputation. Everyone thinks I'm single, and Lily's just there. What do you want me to do when I'm constantly pushed in her way?" James is bright red and the air is cloying. His head is buzzing, and he just wants it to stop. "Everyone expects me to be put together, to get the girl, to be cool and funny, and attractive. I thought you'd get it."

"They're just blowing smoke," Regulus smiles, except it's not a smile at all. "I'll say what they won't." It's a realisation. Regulus knows that despite everything, despite being James' dirty little secret, he still has one thing James doesn't. 

James told Regulus the truth, everything. Every false laugh. Every tired smile. Every sleepless night. 

And James knows it too. 

"Reg, wait. Stop. Please." His hand reaches for Regulus, but he just misses, brushing the cuff of his jumper. 

"I know everything they don't." Regulus' footsteps echo all the way down the stairs. 

And for the first time in his life, James feels something bubbling up in his chest. A subtle burning that felt like agony. 

For the first time in his life, James Potter couldn't have the thing he wanted most.