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Its fun to dress up dogs and take them trick or treating but dogs is a fox and an owl my piece for the @extraordinaryzine 👻
#yay im happy with how it turned out#my art#pokemon#pkmn art#braixen#decidueye#gastly#pumpkaboo#and others but u can barely see them#pokemon zine
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would you like to talk about how bad the mha ending was hella
as much as i would love to give like. a comprehensive response i genuinely dont think i can get my words together just yet without it being a constant unintelligble stream of 'AND ANOTHER THING-' and bc it's become quite torn in the fandom on if the chapter was good or bad i want like. an actual coherent response here. so i will reblog this if/when i can word it but know IM NOT FUCKING HAPPY
#paragraphs and paragraphs about the villains' endings alone. hawks hpsc president. midoriya's ending#the fact hero society is barely changed and the changes that do happen feel very much TELLING the reader it happened#as opposed to actually showing us how society changed on it. this is smthn ik people will argue w me about#bc yes it was a 400+ chapter manga arguably showing us how society changed but like. did it actually show that#like do u honestly think any community would watch televised battles between TEENAGERS and bad guys#and have the majority of them go 'gah! i cant help but sympathise with the bad guy who just suckerpunched child extra no.28!'#so like. why are they all suddenly on board with massive systemic reinvention. where's the rage where's the bitterness#this wasn't a story on showing the villains as redeemable and working towards society sympathising with them#and slowly painfully coming to a conclusion where japan was ready to change as a COLLECTIVE#this was a story of showing a group of redeemable villains (first step CHECK) getting DEFEATED IN BATTLE#THEY ALL FUCKING DIED EXCEPT SPINNER AND PRESUMABLY COMPRESS#WE DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO DABI AT THE END ONLY THAT HE WAS PUT IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION#HE WAS IN WHEN HE WOKE UP FROM HIS COMA AND DABI WAS BORN. 'DABI' AS A PERSONA MEANT NOTHING#we still have an abuser who didn't come to justice. we still have the corrupt government body now being led by the guy they trafficked#and abused and conditioned into the perfect soldier. do u think maybe his opinions are a little biased in regards to that gov. body#maybe. perhaps. slightly. and we still have hero charts!!!!!! every kid in the last chap is still obsessed w becoming a hero!!!!#and dont get me STARTEDDDDDDDDD on midoriya being a teacher. 'i think it's cute he finally gets a life of peace 🥺#this way he can help the next generation directly 🥺' womp to the fucking womp he was supposed to be the world's no.1 hero#he barely sees his friends anymore. 'it's realistic to adulthood!' i dont want realism in my superpowered teen and up manga#put them in the avengers mansion NOW#so as you can see i waffled regardless of saying i specifically wasn't gonna do that and some of these points bother me more than others#with some being personal I Didn't Like It and some being i genuinely truly believe it to be bad writing#but my summary is mha ultimately felt like a story where a group of individuals unlearned (eh) the beliefs of a toxic society#and tried to save the people that society failed and then they themselves DID NOT FUCKING SAVE THEM#(i have a hit on the redemption via death trope on the dark web for ten bajillion pounds)#and while yeah that isn't objectively an evil story to tell i think 1) it was done poorly#and 2) isn't what a lot of people believed the premise to be nor what i think horikoshi himself was trying to write#ask#mha spoilers#mha
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to the people who repost my gifs on other socmed platforms and give a credit back to this blog, i see you, i appreciate you, and thank you ❤️
#just ignore this ngl#personal tag#thank u for linking em back to this blog i really realy really appreciate it#is it needed? no not really i kinda gave up cuz u cant stop ppl from doing what they want anyway but i just appreciate the ppl who#link back the gifs here so other ppl can maybe find other stuff#ur the real ones yall thanks a lot#i will admit that its a little disheartening seeing my gifs get like 2k likes on the bird app and#i can barely get around 500 notes here now but eh what can you do and at least people like them enough to share it on other sites#tungle just doesnt have too many ppl around anymore unlike other more popular sites lol
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i cant stop thinking about the pie scene. its such a perfect representation of their relationship, even if their roles are a little reversed. the worry and the care they have for each other is so telling in this scene because up until this point loki was solely focused on finding sylvie and nothing could really break them out of their focus but the moment the SECOND there's something wrong with mobius they forget about everything to be there for him. like they could've continue the interrogation on their own and s1 loki must likely would have done so, but instead they went after mobius, CHASED after him basically, gently tried to persuade him to talk and were genuinely so focus on mobius they didn't even question where they were going (because mobius was leading them and they trust mobius to lead them wherever he wants to). and what really gets me is the way they say "mobius, you were clearly ahead of me" because it could be written down to their usual bickering and the back and forth that they always have but instead, loki sounds concerned. they sound so concerned that mobius, who is usually calm and collected and levelheaded, didn't even know WHERE they were going. you can see how concerned they are in every movement of their body, they don't try to hide it or play it off as a joke, instead they try to make it better for mobius. can you remember a time loki did that for someone, even in future movies? because i can't. and here is the crux of it all, they know mobius so well that they automatically know food/pie will make it better for him so they offer to eat pie with him. the whole scene they speak in such a soft voice and are visibly so careful with what they're saying because they dont want to screw this up, they dont want to make this harder for mobius. they wait him out and when he finally admits that it wasn't tactical, he just lost it, they have this little smile like they're PROUD of mobius for admitting and being so open and then they go on to further reassure mobius and say "it's okay" which they basically learned from mobius since before him nobody really took the time to reassure them like that. but mobius always did, because of course he did. and then they bring them into a lighter territory with them mentioning new york in a flippant way because they no doubt just want to see mobius smile again. and sure they might disapprove of mobius' choice to not visit his timeline but they don't argue with him because ultimately they recognize that it's MOBIUS' choice. and then AND THEN when loki gets worried about how to get brad to talk, mobius is THERE to be the one to reassure them and make them SMILE. like it's just crazy to me that he was the one upset just a few minutes ago but the moment he sees loki SLIGHTLY unsure of themselves he steps in and KNOWS how to make loki smile. i need to lie down.
#and then u contrast that w the sylki pie scene and find none of the trust and care and worry and knowledge of each other that lokius has#like do u ever think about the fact that loki didn't smile not ONCE in a scene with sylvie?? it might seem like a small thing but then u#remember that they always seem to smile at least a little mobius and u r just like. wow. u can literally see who is better for them just by#that alone#sorry if this isn't coherent ive got a cold and my left hand hurts like a bitch so im barely alive#lokius#loki spoilers#loki season 2#loki laufeyson#loki series#mobius m mobius
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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im the most productive person in the world fun fact
#31st art#papyrus#undertale#ut fanart#i'd tag the others like the uty characters but i barely drew them LOL#btw do file names save if u download them from this post cus if u do that means any1 can see my file names... thats so silly i love it
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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jjk is about a lot of things but most of all with regard to Shoko Satoru and Suguru it's about how if you don't interact with people who aren't in your weird fucked up school with like 10 ppl total on a regular basis you WILL become an incredibly interesting adult in a way that makes people pity you
#JJK#Jujutsu Kaisen#Like obv the post is jokey but genuinely I feel like ppl don't talk about the intense isolation that goes on#Shoko Nanami Suguru and Satoru like regularly interact w 4 ppl (the others + Haibara) and like... Man. When you lose 25% of your social lif#And you can barely. Talk to the other 75% because they're equally but differently affected. Shits going to do some Interesting Things to u#Also it might be part of ''op grew up with very little social interaction not for any one specific reason but in general#Doesn't naturally form friendships/bonds even when surrounded by ppl'' but only having like 1 or two close friends#(and like. Satoru calls Suguru his only friend. He definitely likes Shoko and Nanami but obviously there's a distance there)#Will do some Very Interesting Things To You. Anyway Satoru and Suguru were both pretty heavily implied to be very socially isolated#As children (bc of being ''the strongest''/able to see curses but also autism. They're autistic) and then ended up having a wildly#Codependent relationship that ended up ruining them both bc they didn't know how to start fixing things#Because they were the only ppl they really knew so. I'm going to be honest I think at some points they straight up loathed each other#Suguru bc Satoru ''left him behind'' Satoru bc Suguru ''didnt catch up'' and like. They had fucking no one to talk to#like 1. Shoko and Nanami are Also Kids and Know Both Of Them Well so trying to go to them would be. Wild#2. The adults in their life... There's only so much Yaga can do as one man. And I also think he's Struggling#3. They straight up don't know how to talk to people. They just don't.#Anyways they hated each other because they loved each other and I'm not saying talking to other ppl would've fixed this but#I think it could've changed A Lot y'know. Eh maybe my point would be stronger if Yuuji Megumi n Nobara#Like. Had better fleshed out social lives (showing why they're less fucking. Deranged) bc there's clearly Elements but not really much#Concrete stuff to point to. Yuuji kinda just forgets his old classmates. Sad! Megumi had His Sister and that was........ And Nobara didn't#Get her shit resolved. So. Yaaaay
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wow thank you kushblazer666 for your infinitely profound and interesting wisdom i’ve never heard this before 🙏 i’m glad u can be the voice to bravely speak up rn tho
#why do y’all have to do this anytime a woman and specifically a dyke blows up#and ok u can bring up how other queer women have been slept on esp woc. and what exactly are u doing to uplift them#nothing ur just saying this bc obviously it’s so timely and um once again just like really insightful thank u#me barely suppressing a rage over chappell blowing up so now i have to hear peoples opinions on her. ok so maybe she’s not for you!#you can’t exactly say she’s not talented or fun or successful though. also kill yourself what who would say that over this#😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐#abby talks#if kushblazer ever sees this sorry let’s work it out on the remix#<- sentence designed to convince u i am the most annoying target audience for u and hopefully you’d just block me instead
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i love the EVIL part of EVILIVE btw. i find fucked up, unnameable unobtainable obsessive life-ending love extremely romantic and delicious. it’s the way things are in the evilive world! things are messy! and bad! and i love it! i (at least currently!!!) do not plan on writing anything pure fluff happiness because that is not something that i wish to extract from this show.. it isn’t there! i have no interest in erasing these harsh realities of evilive in my fics. happy lalala is not fun for me to write, and i won’t do it without a heavy underlying feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty and dread and despair and inevitable death. i like pain :/ and half of this couple is one of the most greedy selfish motherfuckers i have ever come to know and he’s oh so beautiful. so i am sorry if you finished evilive and wanted some kind of fix-it happy gays but i am NOTTTTTTTT the guy for that.
#ilml#idk.#lol.#sorry feeling a little defensive this sunday evening!#reqs are open indefinitely and if you need some kind of fix all you have to do is ask :]#but i will not write anyone from this show (intentionally) OOC because i respect them too much as human beings from my TV show.#from my little kdrama that takes up a huge portion of my brain.#my reason for writing at all for evilive is to explore aspects of it that we didn’t get to see on screen#anyways whatever sorry please be gentle with me ❤️#i am just a serious and passionate guy writing about a crime noir#it’s a tragic lovestory and i am not inclined to turn it into a kissing loving understanding relationship#like srsly han dongsoo? u know him yes? he wouldn’t be down for all that#he’s hetmarried in case we forgot#SORRY im so 😵💫. but please god be gentle with me. i am baring my soul to you through my writing and i need it to be handled with care#if you wish that evilive was nice and happy you could make it that way! but i will not!#maybe someone else already has/will!#but ILML (me!) is into evilness. i like weird evil lawyers who are evil and bad. and i have no desire to turn evil lawyers nonevil#and i have no desire to take away the joys of violence and power from the other half either#and idk how many of my readers are weird/offputting queer men who have been helplessly in love with a straight guy#but it is no easy event… it is no simple doing… it can perhaps even be an EVIL thing…#STRAIGHT UP RAMBLING AT THIS POINT. APOLOGIES!#<- guy who might be a little sensitive and need your understanding
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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not sure what happened to my brain but i went from writing fic at an insane pace to spinning in a centrifuge made up for like 5 original wips that i cant stop thinking about. what planet is doing this to me
#rambles#nanami and liana the girls ever!!!!!!#YURI WIN FOR ME SPECIFICALLY#god ive barely written much for them but im already biting walls i can write ESSAYS abt them#theyre opposities. theyre exactly what the other needs. they cant stand each other. they cant live without each other.#NANAMI HATES HORROR BUT WILL THROW HERSELF INTO THE MOST TERRIFYING SITUATION IF IT MEANS KEEPING LIANA SAFE#LIANA WILL DESTROY HER ENTIRE LIFE FOR A CHANCE TO BE WITH NANAMI#IM GRIPPING U BY THE SHOULDERS DO U SEE MY VISION!?!?!?!
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*starts listening to the thg playlist*
augh -1 health
oof -1 health
ugh! -1 health
mmf -1 health
ugh! -1 health
augh -1 health
etc
GOOD that’s the effect i wanted >:)
#i wish so badly that i could annotate it. when will my husband (8tracks annotations) come back from the war#i made a rule that i was not allowed to take any songs from the soundtracks#until it was all finished and then i can pepper the best ones in sparingly#(abraham’s daughter & gale song & everybody wants to rule the world r going on there for sure)#i wanted to make myself get really creative without the crutch of the soundtracks although they r bangers#like we HAVE to start with the woods by daughter because it’s about sisters.#and if you forget that the hunger games is a story about a girl who loves her sister you have lost the plot#o children by nick cave is about children killing and being cleaned up and shipped off on a train. like ok#eat your young is self explanatory#so is kill our way to heaven (really digs into the mentality of a tribute imo)#glory and gore is on there because i genuinely thought lorde made that song for the movie#die first? well that’s katpee to a T (people who call them everlark u are boring and people who call them peeniss that’s too much for me)#(i think katpee is the funniest ship name ever so i’m using it)#who are you really is like who are you. really. but also i have nothing left to lose / see me bare my teeth for you !!!!!!!!#GOSSIP BY MÅNESKIN. FINNICK SONG. SIP THE GOSSIP DRINK TILL YOU CHOKE.#17 by ladytron :| also a finnick song perhaps :| but works for the other victors also :| they only want you when you’re 17 :|#AND THEN FEED THE MACHINE IS SO MUCH FUN RAAAAAAAAA WTF IS A LABOR UNION HEY (HEY) YOU (YOU) FEED THE MACHINE#if you only listen to one song on the playlist is should be that one because its just such a banger#wires by the neighborhood is like help me kill the president we’re gonna send him straight to hell (and it rules)#and then feel something by jaymes young is about a young person who is emotionally damaged beyond repair 🙃 had to end it on that one
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need to buy clothes i can wear to work again 😩 since my last job was so chill the ceo literally said u can wear whatever as long as nipples and holes are covered 😔 business alt techno girl shopping is back on the menu
#petra.txt#two version of those pants bc i wanna see which one sits better and send the other back#i have no one here to show my clothes sorry u have to see them <3#the age old question of can i wear a dress that barely covers my ass if i wear opaque tights
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i think you guys can probably tell but i’m soso happy with where my cpurp design stands rn……. i think i perfected him. i need to redraw a full reference sheet for them to make a full comparison with the original
#icarus speaks#i’d been struggling with his fuckoff ponytail for SO long#no matter how i looked at it it always gave me hamilton flashbacks 😭#but the spiky ponytails….. good#and i think it’s so funny how if you look through my cpurp art#you can see their hair slowly starting to cover their eye#it’s a thing where if you put all of them side by side u understand the slow progression of how his design changed#but if u just place my first and most recent designs next to each other you could NOT recognize them as the same character skfjskd#cboomer and channah are. much more static in comparison#hannah lost some roses gained some hair dye etc etc#and i think my cboomer has like. barely changed.#but purp…… u can tell who the favorite child is </3
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ever since i was a kid i knew i should get lip fillers or a lip lift or something && i am still so in need of it i detest my lips n the general way my mouth moves so much but then even the thought of having 2 go for that feels so embarrassing because like. theyre gonna take one look at me n be like OH Boy. there is so much work 2 be done here. u are so hideous and this is the only thing you're doing ...?
#i think its made a lot worse by the fact i have always been so conscious of it that ive trained myself to barely move my mouth#so i just. look even more awkward#even vids of me as a kid talkibg u can see how hard im trying#another thing that makes me look worse is that when i talk u see my bottom teeth more than my top#and i dont. know why#i actually have an overbite#&& yes i do take videos of myself talking 2 scrutinize every part of my face LMAO...#god i hate the way my face moves so much i just. i dont know what to do about it#it looks so alien#u can tell i dont know how 2 be a person#i genuinely dont know if it's a physical thing or its just the autism#because i know i do have a lot of like. very common autistic mannerisms#esp in my face#& i wonder if i could train it out#only some of them though most i dont mind#i feel like theyre all so cute on other ppl it's just me it. looks so bad#i just o(-< dont want to be ugly anymore man i want 2 offer something i want to be worthy of love im given
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