#and og hat man is death

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i don't think i posted doodles of Sundown Summer's loyal steed! he's a starry appaloosa. a... starpaloosa. constelloopa. appastella. he has a body count written in blood

[c4tsc4pe]

Classpect Analysis Definitions Guide Combob

i read a Smashing aspect analysis by @/alicesonions (which this is very inspired by check it out right now the redesigned symbols are awesome) and wanted to revamp my own so here we go shaggy 2 dope classpect guide 2.0 (og draft here)

this is just a rundown on how i personally understand/use classpects even though i love talking my ass off and want to over explain all this i tried to write hopefully easily digestible and to the point definitions using key words and phrases bc thats how i personally learn things (i might make an extended version with further information and analysis later)

this can always be edited too i am So open to discussion criticism etc please tell me every single one of your thoughts about classpects in tags comments whatever I LOVE HEARING IT

anyway fat megapost ahead man the cannons

- - >

Classpects

A “Classpect” is a player’s title in Sburb, which uses the formula [Class] of [Aspect]. Not only does a Classpect dictate a player's reality-bending powers, but it defines a player’s place in their session, their place in reality, and their place within the narrative itself.

There are two components that make up a player's Classpect: their aspect and their class. There are 12 aspects and 14 classes in total. Hypothetically, ANY player could be ANY of the 168 total combos of these, no matter the person, but Sburb will narrow down the options and pick a player’s Classpect depending on how it thinks it can BEST use them in the game/their specific session.

A Classpect is chosen via a sort of “sorting hat” method. The person you are (struggles, goals, gaming strategies, how you interact with the world and others, etc.) inadvertently dictates your Classpect, but that is only BEFORE THE GAME STARTS. Once you’ve entered Sburb, Skaia will ultimately decide your role based on everything it gathered, and you are stuck with it whether you like it or not.

[In total: Classpects are a predetermined in-game role to fulfill as well as a narrative tool.]

Aspects

Aspects are described as “the basic building blocks of everything that exists within paradox space”; a cosmic property that relates MOST to a player and that they have the potential to BEST excel at.

A player’s aspect is always something the player starts out STRUGGLING with in some way. No one ever has total control or knowledge of their aspect right off the bat. It is something that challenges the player and must be learned over time so the player can grow and reach their full potential as a Hero of their aspect.

Aspects are a neutral and nuanced concept- no aspect is inherently good nor bad.

The 12 aspects: Breath, Light, Time, Space, Life, Hope, Void, Heart, Blood, Mind, Doom, and Rage.

Breath: The aspect of freedom and detachment. Breath is impossible to hold down, easy breezy, head in the clouds, go with the flow. Breath is breeze, movement, flight, weightlessness, indirection, and independence. Breath blows whatever way it feels like, not caring about much else.

Narrative connection: Plot development.

Breath’s opposing aspect is Blood.

Light: The aspect of knowledge and illumination. Light exposes the hidden, brightens the dark corners, brings things into the spotlight. Light is relevance, illumination, luck, enlightenment, sight, visibility, definition, and attention. Light brings itself to what is hidden in the dark.

Narrative connection: Plot relevance.

Lights opposing aspect is Void.

Time: The aspect of rhythm and destruction. Time is connected to death, the past and future, taking action, small details, the destination over the journey. Time is repetition, iteration, cycles, pace, patterns, preservation, decay, continuity, and management. Time is the steady tick of a clock, the constant rotation of an ever-turning gear.

Narrative connection: Pacing.

Times opposing aspect is Space.

[Time is one of the fundamental fabrics making up paradox space and is therefore an aspect required to win Sburb. If your session does not have a Time player, your session is doomed to fail.]

Space: The aspect of creation and beginnings. Space is new things, focused on the wait-and-see, the big picture, the here-and-now, the journey over the destination. Space is destiny, matter, physics, making, innovation, and intuition. Space is a vast endless infinity of possibility.

Narrative connection: Setting.

Spaces opposing aspect is Time.

[Space is one of the fundamental fabrics making up paradox space and is therefore an aspect required to win Sburb. If your session does not have a Space player, your session is doomed to fail.]

Life: The aspect of agency and autonomy. Life is foraging your own path, own destiny, self-direction, growing and strengthening. Life is nature, health, resilience, energy, progress, healing, vitality, and nourishment. Life sees its route and fights to take it.

Narrative connection: Agency/action.

Life’s opposing aspect is Doom.

Hope: The aspect of belief. Hope is dreams and wishes, blind optimism, unstoppable force, the "there’s always a way, nothings impossible". Hope is faith, possibility, positivity, will, imagination, and determination. Hope is a clear, enthusiastic "YES!".

Narrative connection: Convenience.

Hopes opposing aspect is Rage.

Void: The aspect of nothingness and the unknown. Void is a blank canvas, an empty page, a dark corner, a shadow concealing darkness. Void is secrets, mystery, invisibility, unexplained, ignorance, irrelevance, and uncertainty. Void obscures what the light can't reach.

Narrative connection: Plot irrelevance.

Voids opposing aspect is Light.

Heart: The aspect of feeling and self. Heart is the core of a person, their identity, passions and interests, the soul, feelings instead of thoughts. Heart is motivation, love, emotions, uniqueness, personal, individualism, bias, and passion. Heart follows itself.

Narrative connection: Inner self.

Hearts opposing aspect is Mind.

Blood: The aspect of unity. Blood is down to earth, grounded and chained, has expectations, forms relationships. Blood is community, responsibility, care, effort, stability, obligation, and connection. Blood is running through everyone's veins and knows it.

Narrative connection: Character dynamics.

Blood’s opposing aspect is Breath.

Mind: The aspect of thought. Mind is unbiased decision making, apathy, black and white, blends in with the crowd. Mind is equality, ration, logic, reason, judgement, calculation, choice, balance, and justification. Mind pushes away feelings and thinks instead.

Narrative connection: Outer self.

Minds opposing aspect is Heart.

Doom: The aspect of fate and constraint. Doom works within the rules, within restriction, follows damands. Doom is burdens, prophecy, acceptance, necessity, limitation, punishment, and misfortune. Doom does not negotiate against the inevitable.

Narrative connection: Conflict.

Doom’s opposing aspect is Life.

Rage: The aspect of refusal and rebellion. Rage is the ugly truth, holding back, immovable object, being stuck, “it’s impossible, there’s no way out”. Rage is cynicism, defiance, fury, negativity, anger, riot and revenge. Rage is a loud, guttural “NO!”.

Narrative connection: Contrivance.

Rage’s opposing aspect is Hope.

Classes

Classes are the second ingredient of the Classpect formula. Since an aspect is a cosmic property that relates most to a player, a class is how that player USES/INTERACTS with that cosmic property & its powers. Classes are NOT something a player struggles with and are just dictated by how they approach/play the game.

Classes are a neutral and nuanced concept- no class is a “worse/better” or “evolved” version of another, no class is gender locked, and no class is inherently good nor bad.

There are six functions of classes: creation, destruction, exploitation, manipulation, knowledge, and relocation.

[Creation: Bringing something into existence.

Destruction: Taking something out of existence.

Exploitation: Having something and using it.

Manipulation: Changing or altering something.

Knowledge: Knowing all about something.

Relocation: Stealing and/or moving something.]

The 14 classes: Heir, Seer, Knight, Witch, Maid, Page, Rogue, Prince, Mage, Sylph, Thief, and Bard, and the two master classes: Lord and Muse.

Heir: One who changes with their aspect or is changed through their aspect. Heirs inherit their aspect and can greatly use it for their session and coplayers.

Class function: Manipulation.

Heirs' counterpart class is Witch.

Seer: One who knows their aspect or knows through their aspect. Seers are knowledge-seekers who obtain information by observing, and guide their coplayers using what they learn.

Class function: Knowledge.

Seer's counterpart class is Mage.

Knight: One who fights for/protects their aspect or fights/protects using their aspect. Knights are set on serving and defending their session and coplayers, using their persona as a shield and their aspect as a weapon.

Class function: Exploitation.

Knight's counterpart class is Page.

Witch: One who alters/bends their aspect or alters/bends using their aspect. Witches utilize their powers to bend the rules and test the limits of their aspect and session itself.

Class function: Manipulation.

Witch's counterpart class is Heir.

Maid: One who serves/repairs their aspect or serves/repairs with their aspect. Maids clean, preserve, and maintain their session with/and their aspect, just as a housekeeper would.

Class function: Creation.

Maid's counterpart class is Sylph.

Page: One who strengthens their aspect or finds themselves through their aspect. Pages start out as weaker underdogs, but once their potential is fully realized, they can use their power to an astounding degree.

Class function: Exploitation.

Page's counterpart class is Knight.

Rogue: One who steals their aspect or steals from their aspect to provide others with it. Rouges take from their aspect and redistribute what they steal to their coplayers Robin Hood style.

Class function: Relocation.

Rouge's counterpart class is Thief.

Prince: One who destroys their aspect or destroys with their aspect. Princes are powerful, blunt forces in their session who once fully realized, will stop at nothing until they reach their goal.

Class function: Destruction.

Prince's counterpart class is Bard.

Mage: One who understands their aspect or understands through their aspect. Mages are the experiencers of their aspect that utilize their experience with it to guide themselves.

Class function: Knowledge.

Mage's counterpart class is Seer.

Thief: One who steals their aspect or steals from their aspect to keep themselves. Thieves are focused on taking from their session and others in it, then keeping that power for their own benefit.

Class function: Relocation.

Thief's counterpart class is Rogue.

Sylph: One who heals/mends their aspect or heals/mends using their aspect. Sylphs are vastly supportive to their coplayers through both backstage influence and personal interference.

Class function: Creation.

Sylph's counterpart class is Maid.

Bard: One who allows the destruction of their aspect or invites destruction through their aspect. Bards can be kind of a wildcard for their session, possibly for the best (or the worst).

Class function: Destruction.

Bard's counterpart class is Prince.

Master Classes

Lord: One who rules their aspect or rules using their aspect. Lords are intensely powerful domineers who command their aspect, session, and everything in it to bow down to them.

Lord's counterpart class is Muse.

Muse: One who inspires their aspect or inspires through their aspect. Muses are completely in tune with their aspect and influence their session with it, leading it like a conductor with their baton.

Muse's counterpart class is Lord.

[thoughtsandbones]

It's been a long time

FIRST TIME WRITING A FANFIC - Since i was on LiveJournal (years ago)

Simon 'Ghost' RIley x F!MedicDoc

WARNINGS: Mention of death, blood, fluff and angst?

Song inspo: Think - Kaleida (Love John Wick <3 and Atomic Blonde <3)

I grew up with the OG MW2 game, so there are some references to the old one, so kind of a mix of both the OG and the new timeline...

All rights reserved to the rightful owners of Call of Duty Modern Warfare.

(FYI: bold sentences... are like this... are supposed to describe redacted data/info to the plot... ;] .. )

MASTERLIST

Part 1

Back again here. That's what you thought when you actually landed at the base. You're trying to calculate how long it has actually been. The years. The months. The days. The hours. The minutes.

Why? Because time is represented by numbers. And a weird number observer you were. Numbers are always assigned to occasions, incidents, blood pressure, mL of drugs, minutes to save a life, seconds wasted.

You furrow your eyebrows. You don't care about the wrinkles forming. Not anymore. You part your lips, and suck in some air.

The tightness of the black boots yet to be broken in like you were once.. were just painful and added pain of sore feet and legs from getting back into training was just a cherry on the icing.

The pain is just temporary... You think to yourself whilst you close your eyes and inhale for 4 through the nose, hold, and slowly breathe out for four, controlled, of course... and gradually open your eyes.

You should be grateful for this chance.

You take in scene before you. Base. Outside Berkshire... mid August...

The sky above is pale shade of blue with hints of orange as the sun sets in the west. It is surprisingly warm and nice today. Minimal clouds. As you look down you see the trucks on the grey charcoal tarmac, smooth and a few cracks here and there.. Buildings behind, patches of green..? Wow.

You couldn't also ignore the soon to be glaring floods lights surrounding the perimeter of the base. Without these, the views of sky where even more phenomenal. The stars. The realisation that there is a sort of weird chaos also going on out there too. The storm of Jupiter must be a sight to see you wonder..

"Corporal Kaur!" You hear a man shout from the left of you.

You break your gaze and see and old man from where that shout came from. Face still stern. Eyebrows still furrowed.

Captain Price.

You recognise that moustache and boonie hat from a mile away.Next to him where to other men, one bulky and tall, donning a half a skull over his face and wearing all black and the other shorter, still tall. but what was most noticeable was the hawk. Both of them staring at you.

You briefly stare back. Your new COs you assume.

You start to walk over to them, carrying your pack, and duffle over your right shoulder.

Back again. Back here facing death again. That's what you think. Over and over as you stride until you reach your old Captain.

You place your pack and duffle on the ground.

"Captain Price" you say, giving in a salute, heels slamming together. Your back straightening automatically when your right arm swung to the tip of your beret. Palms facing out. Always.

Muscle memory is a wonderful thing.

"At ease Corporal" Price says, giving a slight chuckle. His body turns to the two men beside him.

"This is Lieutenant Ghost" Price said as he gestures towards the masked man.

You put out your right hand for a hand shake. The lieutenant just stares at you, eyes cold and calculating watching you.

You raise your head curtly and trying to suppress the smirk from appearing. I'm watching you too you think to yourself.

"I'm your Sergeant; Soap MacTavish" the hawked man said, in a strong Scottish accent. He brings up his hand for a handshake, grinning hard.

You shake his hand. Soap grinned a bit harder.

"Soap and Ghost." You say turning your head to Price after shaking Soap's hand, you see him in the corner of your eye elbow Ghost and gesture towards you with his hand, you couldn't catch what he was saying as Price started giving you directions and something else he

"The team know you're here as their new medic. The infirmary, somewhat set, thought it was best left to the expert to order whatever you need. You remember where it is?" Price said. "I have to go to the hanger, catch up later" He saids, patting you on the shoulder.

"Thank you sir" You reply.

Yes. The team's medic. Not actually part of the team. Not anymore...

Not able to linger on the past for a second longer, you see Soap move towards your pack and duffle.

You grab your pack just before he does.

"I've got it, don't worry" You say, and this time you remember to smile, with teeth, a soft smile that a younger you adorned each day.

Soap laughs gently, and looks at your face, that smile broke your stern face from before, a kindness washed over your face Soap thought.

After picking up your pack and duffle, swinging them both over and onto your back. You stare back at the two men, and smile again.

"Well, I am going.. to get settled" You say to them "Nice meeting both of you" you said as you turn.

"We'll walk ya to the infirmary" The lieutenant said gruffly. You detect an accent, maybe northern?

"Yeah, that way we can get to know you on the way" Soap chimes in, grinning again

Fuck sake, not this already you think to yourself.

You turn to them, and force a smile, this time no teeth, nostrils flare, you hope they don't notice the force of it. Ghost does. Ghost raises his head, eyes widening slightly.

You did not like that Ghost thinks to himself. He crosses his arms across his chest, slightly puffing it out.

He looks at you whilst you relax your face as you looked at him do his little chest puff, your eyes widen, slight glare to the ground and then back to the familiar stern look, he lets out a light huff. Amused at the expressions coming and going on your face. He could've sworn there was hint of pink spreading across that brown skin.

"Price said you've worked here before" Soap continues, trying to ease the tension that was stirring between the three of you as the three of you walk across the tarmac, amidst the other soldiers and trucks driving past.

You stare again at Soap, trying to ease the furrowed brows, but they seem glued to their position. The back of your mind still processing your surroundings.

"Years ago. In my early twenties" You reply to Soap

"Wait, so how old are you now?" Soap asks

You look at him and smile slightly. People get so bewildered when they find out that you're a lot older than you look. Given that your face has hardly a wrinkle, no grey hairs, smooth and "fair" skin (for an Indian) that your mother loves to praise you about after years of her nagging of using SPF 50 daily, especially during winter.

"32" You reply

"Steamin' Jesus" Soap exclaims "You don't look a day over 25" he added

"Yeah, it's annoying getting ID'd when getting a drink though" You say back. You realise the two men are beside you, Soap on your left, and Ghost on your right. Glaring at you still, watching your movements. You're stuck in the middle. A rock and a hard place.

You feel the tension creep to your shoulders. You roll your right shoulder to ease the tension. It doesn't help. Not with the added weight your pack and duffle. You then take duffle off your back, and see Soap on your left raise him arm, again gesturing for him to help carry your stuff.

You raise your left hand and tell him again its okay. You've carried heavier. You've carried limp bodies for longer. You hold the duffle on your right hand, Ghost moves slightly further to make room. You take note and swing duffle, smooth and controlled.

The three of you head straight to building 2. You notice the building as been redone slightly since you were here last, a fresh slick of paint and new doors.

Soap runs up to the doors, and opens them for you, and gestures you through with his right hand. You nod and give a weak thanks.

"We have to keep you sweet" he says "Right L.t?" Soap says, nudging Ghost.

Ghost grunts disapprovingly.

"Why?" You turn to him, letting out a deep sigh. Laying the duffle and pack down on the ground. Suddenly the jet lag, the sore feet and legs hit you harder and you feel like you could just melt into the floor. But you couldn't do that.

"Well, you are our new medic, and you'll be patching us up after missions, so need to keep you sweet" Soap says in a chirpy manner.

"That's her job Johnny" Ghost said, voice rough

You smirk, reaching in your pack for a folder containing your documents and forms.

"Actually..." You start but then remember that even Price said your job role to your face. Medic.

"Actually?" Soap questions

"Nothing" You said, opening the plastic folder and retrieving your forms, you look up and see Soap with a puzzling look on his face and Ghost just coldly still staring.

The anxiety is kicking in. You feel it creep across your chest and swarming it's way to your arms and legs.

You pull out the forms needed and held them in your hand, in between Soap and Ghost, unsure who would take them

"Filled these out as requested by Captain Price" You say

Ghost reaches and grabs the papers, eyes weaving left to right from top to bottom across the forms. You see Soap try and peak and he notices a lot of thick blacked out information. His brows furrow and a curious sheen glosses over his eyes as he looks back at you.

"Most of this is redacted" Ghost says those cold eyes still on the paper. "Like your file" His eyes flicker to yours, hoping to catch you out.

But you stare back. Redacted like your face you think to yourself.

"Captain Price surely would've let you know why" You say curtly

The two men looked at each other. Ghost turned his head towards you, Soap still eyeing Ghost, and then peaking at the paper a bit closer.

No forename, no information of her previous time here... Was Ghost right? Soap thought

"Was hopin' to get somethin' outa' you" Ghost said brightly

He folded the forms into four and put them in his back pocket. He then bent down slightly and picked up your pack and duffle before you could. His eyes wondered up and down your body and your stare turned into a glare when you realised what he was doing.

You felt like he could see through the clothes that covered you. You tug the sleeve of your jacket, rolling your shoulders forward, trying to become smaller. And this man made you smaller. Not by his sheer size, but the way he just looked at you up and down.

"Need a hand Lt? Soap says, breaking the silence again. Hoping to at least try and carry the new medic's stuff.

"Nah, I got this Johnny" Ghost sighs, readjusting the grip on your pack and duffle and swinging them over his shoulder. "Let's show her the infirmary" He said walking off, leaving behind a bewildered Soap and yourself.

You follow the two men, wanting this to be over so you can lie down and sleep. And take the damn boots off. Your feet becoming numb with every step as you follow your commanding officers..

As the three of you reach the door of the infirmary, Ghost drops your pack and duffle from his shoulder to his side, still not letting go and places his left hand in his pocket and takes out a key and unlocks the door.

He looks down at you and you look up at him, you smile weakly, furrowed brows still and try and peak into the infirmary.

Ghost doesn't break his gaze from you, he moves from the doorway and gestures you to go in.

You go in first, the room a warm golden yellow, the light is turned off. The big windows let the last of the sun's rays into the room.

Golden hour.

It's so beautiful you think to yourself and as you move through the room to the window staring at the sunset.

"Best view on this side o' the buildin'" Ghost says, approaching you as you watch the sunset, he gently places your pack and duffle next you.

"It really is something" You say, smiling brightly at the sunset

Ghost sees the shift in your expression in the window, and looks down beside you, your eyes, they appear softer and warm. Not like the ones he experienced earlier.

"Johnny and I will get your room key" Ghost says turning to Soap who was about to take a photo of the sunset with his phone. "C'mon sergeant" as he walks past him and leans against the doorway.

You turn to look at them, Soap desperately trying to take a photo despite the sighing coming from Ghost as he watches him take endless photos of the "sunset". He saw Soap sneak a picture of you.

"Thank you Lieutenant Ghost and Sergeant Soap" You say, struggling to comprehend these codenames. Ghost you kind of get, given the mask. But Soap? There has to be some kind of gay connotation you think as you remind yourself of the saying 'Don't drop the soap'

The two of them turn to you, Soap smiles and Ghost just staring.

Soap eventually makes his way out past Ghost, and walks out.

"Meet you at the Hole Lt, need to take a piss" Soap whispers as he passes him.

You and Ghost lock eyes as he holds the doorknob and begins to just it close, you make your way over, ensuring that he will actually leave and not linger (like a ghost).

"Thanks again for carrying my stuff" You say, trying the fill the silence and encourage this man to leave.

Ghost's grip tightens on the doorknob, and brings the door closer.

"You are most welcome" He says

You smile again as you edge closer to the door. Leave dammnit

"Ruhari"

The smile on your face disappears, the mouth drops open slightly in an O. Eyes widen in shock.

You see Ghost's eyes wrinkle, a sign he's possibly smiling under that skull mask.

Got ya He thought as the took in the shocked face and closed the door leaving you bewildered on the other side.

[ninjagirlstar5]

I love Haru, but he does deserve to get slapped every now and then for his pervertedness.

So, Haru is a pilot, that goes without saying with his hat and goggles as that's the most clear indication of his Ultimate Talent. His OG design was alright and I liked it as is. But I guess I just wanted to push his pilot design a little bit more while still keeping to his very casual look. So I, uh, replaced his vest with a bomber jacket. I'm sorry but I just wasn't feeling the vest as it looks like some kind of jacket that had it's sleeves ripped off and Haru decided to wear that cause he thinks it looks cool...which is actually pretty in character for him so it's not a bad design choice honestly, fkdgytdklymtlkym. I was just in the mood for a bomber jacket, so I gave Haru a bomber jacket. I just pushed the sleeves up juuust below the elbow to give the impression that he's pretty chill. When his temper is not flaring up, at least. But otherwise he's a pretty chill dude that just...wants to hang out and do dumb (perhaps even dangerous) teenage things and even go on a date or two. Anyways, back to the jacket, I also had it unzipped below his collar to again push the fact that he's pretty casual. But looking back on it now, I feel like I should've left the jacket completely open like his old vest. It would just fit his vibes better. But I decided not to go back and change the sprite simply because I was lazy and I didn't want to go through all the effort of erasing the linework and stuff. Just know the next time I draw him, I'm going to leave his jacket open. Also, I find it interesting that Haru's OG sprite has what looks to be a military symbol on his sleeve?? And his likes aside from women (of course) is also the military, at least according to the wiki. Which makes me think that Haru is a military brat of some sort, like one of his parents, probably his dad, was a pilot for the military or something. I could just be overanalyzing this but I don't think LINUJ would add these to his character without some kind of purpose. It'd be better if we actually had an idea of what his home life actually was, but alas, all we got in his FTEs was his love life (and his guilt over his role in Kiyoka's death, oof). Anyways, I decided to make that symbol on his sleeve a little more clearer on his jacket and I changed his necklace to dog tags to tie it all together. I found his blue necklace in his OG design kinda just...there...to fill in some space on his torso. And I thought it was kinda meh and out of place for such a plain necklace, so changing it to a pair of dog tags fits the whole military thing way better. After that, I changed his shoes to boots and gave him a ponytail cause...honestly, I just wanted to give him a ponytail. I love it when male characters have ponytails so Haru was lucky enough for my brain to go, "ponytail, now" while I was designing him. It kind helps his hair stand out when he's wearing his hat as it mostly covers his bangs in this redesign, not like in his OG sprite where tufts of his hair peaks out from underneath. Besides, I can see Haru being the kind of guy to grow out his hair, even if it's against regulations or something, like, say, occasionally serving in the military. For someone who seems to be interested in the military, perhaps even worked for it as a pilot, Haru actually has no issue in arguing against authority figures. No, seriously, if he's not arguing with Teruya in the killing game, he's butting heads with Kinjo. He may fall in line once, but if he has an issue with you, he doesn't hesitate to say it, regardless of your position. And with that, I just adjusted his color palette, desaturated his skin tone a little bit while making sure he remained tanned and that was it. Haru is done!

Man, I miss Haru. I feel like he really shined in Chapter 4 but I enjoy the little details of his character outside of his usual role of being the "comic relief."

[imsparky2002]

Barbie as Rapunzel: First Thoughts

The following is my thoughts while watching this for the first time.

Wow, already an upgrade in the shading and lighting judging by this intro alone.

And the CGI looks better too! Nice casual outfit Barbie’s got on.

I assume each special will start out with Barbie reassuring Kelly about something? Hope this doesn’t get stale soon.

Already this special feels like it has an upgraded sense of scale.

Ooh so instead of a tower, it’s a mansion protected by a magic barrier. That’s… actually pretty cool! A nice change from the original, even if the home seems pretty modern looking on the outside.

I find it humorous that the name of one of the coolest Spidermen ever is also the name of a cockney rabbit sidekick.

A sweet and colorful dragon portrayed by Cree Summer? I’m getting flashbacks to Sonic: SATAM.

Peneople looks like if a Dragon Tales character was in an early PS2 game and I like it. She’s so cute!

Remember how I joked about Disney copyright last time? Seems like Rapunzel did the idea of Gothel being an attractive witch first.

Ok this entrance of Gothel riding through the forest is way more metal than Tangled.

Interesting how this Rapunzel calls Gothel “m’lady” instead of “mother”.

Speaking of Disney, Gothel’s design reminds me a lot of Lady Tremaine.

The ferret sounds VERY fruity.

Man Hobie straight up wants Gothel to die. Pretty dark for a Barbie movie.

I find it funny that shenanigans with a tea set caused a secret entrance to be found.

Lol, I can relate to Penelope’s hatred of snakes.

The plot thickens as we see Rapunzel discovering a message from her real parents way earlier than in Tangled.

Heh, the ferret uses it’s tail as a sleeping mask for Gothel.

Once again, a new room discovered via accident.

Wow and she’s already out of the tower and discovered the kingdom. This thing’s going along fast!

Why is seeing the chef in his comically large hat standing in one spot with a goofy smile on his face causing me to mentally cackle like a loon?

Punzie, the cook wasn’t trying to poison you. It’s just a free sample.

I LOVE the “rabbit’s ear as a radio antenna” gag!

Wait, Penelope has a dad?

Looks like both Penelope and Rapunzel have parental issues.

I can relate to Penelope’s fear of heights. It’s ok, honey, we can curl up into a fetal position together.

Hobie: “Does he ever smile?” Penelope: “Not around me”. God my heart just broke into a million pieces at that line. Why does this hurt more than anything Gothel says to Rapunzel?

It’ll never not be odd to see all of these children with the same face.

The Prince looks just like the one from the Nutcracker. I wonder if that’s intentional?

Of course the kings are too stubborn to hash things out. As a result, you get death traps like that pit.

I love the way Otto pronounces “vill-oge”. Hilarious.

Nice showing of both Rapunzel reporting her day to her friends and Otto ratting her out to Gothel at the same time.

Damn, Gothel using her magic to destroy Rapunzel’s paintings of Penelope is cold! Honestly this Gothel seems a lot more menacing and realistic than the Disney version.

I like how this Rapunzel is not only selfless but also has a backbone.

Trippy visuals with Gothel making the house literally grow.

As Hugo was assigned by Gothel to guard the castle, all he could think was “fuck my life”.

Hang on, the little blond boy’s name is Tommy? Wasn’t that the name of the younger brother in Nutcracker?

This boy’s got the “Phantom Menace Anakin” haircut and the personality. Brings back memories of the Prequels. Poor Jake Lloyd…

I like the fact that Stefan and Tommy have the same relationship going on that Barbie and Kelly do IRL

How on earth did the prince find the tower? Isn’t it in the middle of nowhere?

Apparently he “searched everywhere”, but it would probably take ages to go around the entire kingdom. I feel like it’d have been better if maybe one of Rapunzel’s animal friends had been followed by him.

Oh, wait. It was a dream! Ok, that makes more sense. Once again, I should have not underestimated the intelligence of the writers.

Headcanon: (Unless Penelope's mom shows up) Hugo's ex-wife is the dragon from Shrek and they share custody of Penelope. Hugo really hates donkeys now.

Holy crap, this is a beautiful melody Penelope is singing.

The knights remind me of Bert and Ernie. I’ve always loved that dynamic.

The mental paintbrush is a really cool idea. More properties should use it.

Rapunzel straight up saying she’d rather be dead than be a prisoner. Respect.

See, now is Stefan tired and exhausted from actually looking everywhere.

Maybe Rapunzel doesn’t want to know Stefan’s name in case it’s a dream or so that she won’t hurt as much if she loses him.

Once again, we have a prince not telling Barbie’s character he’s royalty.

It saddens me to know that the silversmith is unable to visit or speak to his brother due to the ban on Wilhelm’s kingdom. It’s a realistic worry.

Now we’re getting elements of Cinderella with the masked ball. Once again, connections since Gothel reminds me of Tremaine.

Hobie, I don’t think that Gothel is going to care if you’re in pain. Woman’s a total sadist.

Did Otto just orgasm?

The paintbrush really is OP. It can make clothes!

The mystical music is funny because right now, they’re doing the “girl tries on new clothes” montage.

Eh the final dress is ok, but I actually think the first “simple” one looked the best.

Funny how in Tangled, Rapunzel's hair gets cut by Eugene to stop Gothel. Here, Rapunzel's hair gets cut by Gothel instead.

Gothel, maybe don’t piss off the big strong dragon who has been willingly helping you?

Now we’re finally seeing King Wilhelm. I wish we got some more of him earlier.

Ok, Gothel has to have some sort of spell activated because how the hell did Stefan not think “why does your face look so different?”.

Love to see Penelope call her dad out on his bullshit, and get through to his softer side.

Nice to see her get some love from her dad after all this time.

WOO! Tommy used his bow and arrow to save his big bro! Kid’s got guts.

And now the little children pelt her with fruit!

Really impressive sword choreography for a Barbie movie.

So Gothel just stole Rapunzel from Wilhelm because she hated being in the friend-zone. Ridiculously petty.

And Rapunzel STILL offers forgiveness to Gothel! She truly is an angel.

Honestly, the fact that this Gothel is trapped inside the tower due to her own spell for all eternity is WAY more of a scary way to go then falling out of the tower like Disney’s Gothel did.

What a wonderful ending! Seeing everyone reunited and hearing that wonderful credits score gave me such a smile.

Hopefully a full review will come out sometime this month. I've got other creative AUs to help with. Let me know your thoughts in the comments and reblogs. @msweebyness @artzychic27 @nerd-chocolate

[not-krys]

9. Old [Ophelia, Abby, Miri]

This was more or less my excuse to make some of my characters elderly, which also means also some of the baggage that comes with it. And no, I'm not ashamed of making characters old.

Raw, unedited writing featured below! In these entries:

-We explore a scene from Ophelia's past, which was a journey through description for me, personally. -A bittersweet moment between an elderly Abby and Theo. Heavily implied/referenced major character death -An elder Miri and Simeon reminiscing about the past. Spoilers for OG Obey Me seasons 2 and 4 (somewhat, I'm still early in season 4 but I have seen one particular spoiler about Simeon and decided to run with the concept. Sorry if later lessons make this idea moot, but I just really wanted to explore the idea).

------

Ophelia

It was for the others. It was always for them. That was the mantra Ophelia repeated to herself over and over again. For Cordelia, for Rosalind and Portia. For Nicolai and the twins. For Frederick and little Viola. She was doing this for them, so they wouldn't have to suffer the poor life any more.

For them, she would become this old man's wife. No more would anyone go hungry or have ill-fitting clothes. The estate could be fully staffed, the entire house finally cleaned, fixed, and polished to a decent shine. She didn't need to rely on her capricious parents anymore.

The price didn't matter to her, so long as her younger siblings got a better life than she ever had.

She clutched her bouquet closer, the floral smell a little strong for her nose, and stood taller, like a soldier heading towards a battle that they weren't sure they'll be returning from. Her heels clicked on the wooden floor, hollow and ominous with each step. An organ nearby played the typical wedding march of Revaire, a happy little jaunt common in church halls. To Ophelia's ears, weighed down painfully by heavy gems, it sounded shrill and piercing. She could imagine this song being her welcoming tune into hell, fittingly enough. Her dress, heavy and scratchy, was also what she would imagine being pulled into hell felt like too.

Ahead of her was the head priest and beside him was the man who was to be her husband. He was slumping forward on a wooden cane, smiling at her with several teeth missing and most of his hair wispy under his hat. At one point he might have been handsome… maybe… but he more put her mind of the gargoyles on the big church in the capital, but not in the frightening way they were supposed to be. Or maybe of a goblin merchant in the fairy stories Viola loved, but with none of the personality to match. He might tumble over in the slightest breeze, he looked so frail.

Still, she held her head high, swallowed hard, and continued walking to her wedding dirge. Whispers of how beautiful she was bounced off of her, how lucky she was. It was all for her family, she repeated in her head. They were getting a better life because of her. That was the only thing keeping her sanity intact.

At last, once she was close enough to the altar, she nodded to the priest, her breath shaking in her chest. She held her bouquet closer to her nose, hoping to mask a smell that she just noticed and it was all kinds of unpleasant. The priest looked a little envious of her, not having his own escape from the putrid odor.

----------

Abby

Theo sat by Abby's side, her small hands covered in wrinkles and a little stiff, holding a long paintbrush. Theo, still as youthful as when she had met him, untouched by two hundred years, brown hair and blue eyes unchanged by time, watched patiently as her hand moved, graceful in memory but a little clumsy now with age.

"Just a little more," Abby said, her voice cracking.

"Take your time," Theo said gently, far more kind than he had sounded in her youth.

Silence overtook the two of them, sunlight peeking through the nearby window. Where she needed it, Theo held up her elbow, keeping her arm steady.

"…Talk about him, Theo." Abby asked, squinting her eyes. "Please…"

"Hondje… Are you sure?"

"A happy memory… for me, please?"

Theo closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh.

"Back when we used to live in Comte's mansion, he often painted outdoors. He loved being in the sun. He… sometimes I thought he was the sun."

"When you came around…" Theo continued, "Well, he was happier. More than I had ever seen him. He shined brighter than before. Blindingly so some days. I was a little jealous… Very jealous, actually. How this scared little pup that came out of nowhere had managed to capture my broer so completely so quickly… Maybe it's not what you want to hear, but any truly happy memory I have of him, you're in it too."

Theo touched her elbow again.

"Remember when I came to the house the first time? Because your auntie had sent those pictures of his paintings?"

"Yes," Abby said, "I showed you all those pictures of Vincent and me… of the children… of his life ever since we left."

"You showed me that he had lived a good life and that's something I can't thank you enough for. I had failed in that regard, even in our second lives."

"Your wish allowed us to meet, Theo, so… don't sell yourself so short. My happiness… was thanks to you, after all."

"Hondje…"

"A-anyway… you were talking about how he loved painting outdoors?"

"Yeah, he'd taken you with him. By all accounts, it should have been sunny all day. But, there was a pop up shower."

"Ah, yes. He wanted to teach me about nature painting. But then it started raining suddenly."

"It was a little late in the day, so I was just getting back from selling some of his work. I got caught up in it too. Soaked to the bone."

"So were we. We had to pack up in a hurry, the paint hadn't even dried properly, both of canvases getting smeared together with the rain water. I was so upset because I was so proud of it and thought I had ruined it."

"Broer just smiled, I remember." Theo said, "and told me that they were twin paintings now. Sebas even came by to tell us about how in the future, there was this movement in art where you don't really paint forms like normal. Sometimes, people would splash paint onto canvases without rhyme or reason. Abstract painting, he called it. I wouldn't have believed him if I hadn't lived through it myself."

Abby smiled a little.

"Vincent held onto those paintings for a while. I was a little embarrassed on how long he held onto them, messed up as they were."

"From what I remember, Comte had them put up in the parlor after you two left."

"That's even more embarrassing!"

"Even had them framed."

Abby lowered her elbow, setting her brush down.

"Thank you, Theo. For cheering me up. For staying and putting up with me."

"You'd be lonely if I didn't, and Broer hated leaving you alone for long."

"…I miss him. So much."

Theo reached up to her cheek, wiping away the falling tear with his thumb.

"Just remember that you had a hand in making his life as good as it could have been. Now I'm making sure yours is just as good in his honor. So, no more tears. You have a portrait to finish, after all."

Abby took a breath and nodded, looking at Theo, determined.

"R-right."

They both turned back to the canvas, the image reflected in their eyes of a younger Vincent, smiling as both of them had remembered.

------------

Miri

Miri sat on a bench overlooking the city, her magical staff now getting more use as a walking stick in her old age sitting by her side. Older humans weren't as common a sight in Devildom as youthful wizards and sorcerers were more common, but all them knew the sight of the elder sorcerer. It was her that helped the exchange student program at RAD flourish after all. She helped to expand it and make it the respected practice it was now. Miri had even had a hand in teaching some of the younger generations, both as a student council member and teacher. But she was older now, older than she had ever expected be, reaching her 990th birthday a few months prior. Or was it her 991st? Solomon had lost track of his actual age eons ago and Miri felt she was starting to slip into the same mindset.

Though, age really was just a number, a measurement of time really, her body was starting to feel the effect of almost a thousand years, something a normal human wouldn't experience naturally. She blamed her ancestor for her prolonged longevity, and the effects of her pacts likely didn't help, but still, time was finally catching up to her. Her vibrant pink curls had turned gray over the years, her hands now crinkly like wadded paper, her bright eyes now surrounded by wrinkles. Her mind was still plenty quick as it was when she was young and her heart just as kind.

She smiled at some passersby, some she had taught personally in her teaching days saying hello, some she still saw frequently enough on her outings around town. A familiar face soon sat beside her, a hand just as wrinkled as hers resting on top of her own hand on her lap. She smiled gently.

"Simeon." She said simply, seeing the return gentle smile.

"Hello, Miriam." said Simeon. "Everyone was starting to get worried, so I came to look for you."

"Luke let you out of his sight?" Miri giggled.

"Well… I might have sneaked out without his notice."

"He'll be so worried about you!"

"He'll understand. I wanted to see you, so I did." Simeon's eyes, wrinkled just as hers and almost hidden behind thick glasses, were just as bright as hers and full of innocent mischief. "I'm surprised Lucifer or one of his brothers isn't nearby."

"I… may have used a little magic to help me escape. I can still have my own life, you know."

Simeon laughed. "They all mean well."

"I know. It's just frustrating to be treated fragile, that you'll break at the slightest little thing."

"It is a strange thing. I tried to stretch my back this morning and it made such a loud crack, it startled Luke and Raphael. Solomon just laughed and said 'mood'."

Miri sighed.

"Mammon refuses to let me take stairs by myself anymore. I'm not that helpless!"

"It is their first time being around elder humans regularly. Be patient with them, Miriam."

Miri sighed again.

"You're also taking aging well. I mean… do you miss being an angel?"

"Sometimes," Simeon shrugged. "But I don't regret becoming human."

"For… because… because of me."

"To save the three realms, and for you. Saving you I'll never regret, no matter the consequences to me. Growing old with you has been a treasure I've never thought I'd ever experience."

"Simeon…"

"Living life with you, really, I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"You're making me blush…"

"You always did look cute when you blushed."

"I'm too old for that kind of stuff."

"You're still cute, you know."

"Flatterer."

"Not if it's true."

[heartstringsbloom]

Cars x Into The Woods (wanted to try something new!)

I was listening to the prologue from Into The Woods and it’s so good at tying everyone together while setting the plot into motion. Also the performances are gorgeous. I have not seen the entire show, my best impression of it is through this number and other brief clips, so for now here’s some of the song interpreted with humanized Lightning, Flo, and Ramone ^^ this was a lot of fun to write

(TW: brief allude to death, as it is mentioned outright in the og song. It is not directly stated in this interpretation, but is inferred)

The path to the bakery is rocky but straight. Monty was taught to stay the path straight. If he did so, he would always know his way. Mack could be a bit overprotective, but Monty owes his safety to keeping his older’s brother’s wisdom. So he always kept the path he was told. Even if he often wondered what else there was to see.

He knocks twice, red cloak fluttering to stillness as he meets his stop. The door opens to a woman and her warm smile. She has a fluffy white hat that tops her short, loose curls. Monty figures her to be the Baker.

“Why come in, honey!”

Monty nods. “I wish—” He sweeps into the bakery, restless as always. He nearly continues before remembering that this lady had never met him prior. He turns to the kind woman.

“It’s not for me; it’s for my granny, in the woods.”

The woman nods, ushers him into the kitchen where someone is kneading dough. The floppy, uniquely decorated white hat gives away another baker, but the ring on his finger gives away a husband.

“A loaf of bread, please?” He faces the sweet lady fully, sure to articulate his urgency. “To bring my poor old hungry granny in the woods. . .”

His gaze trails to a batch of pies fresh out of the oven, held carefully in the man’s hands. Monty’s eyes glow in delight.

“Just a loaf of bread. . .” He feels eyes on him. The woman is hiding amusement behind her hand, shares a look with the other baker. Monty’s eyes dip and his face warms.

“Please.”

The man jots down his request, to which Monty nods, then hastily thanks him upon remembering his manners. His feet shuffle, itching to be on his way. But his attention keeps returning to the treats.

“And perhaps a sticky bun.” He smiles at the basket. As he reaches for one his stomach growls, eliciting laughter from the other two. Monty clears his throat, ripping his hands from the basket as he fights the urge to draw his hood.

“Or, four. . .?”

The woman holds out the basketful, eyes sparkling. Quick as Lightning he takes one, takes a few. She doesn’t seem to mind, and when he’s not looking, he feels her adjust his armful so nothing falls. He’s too busy stuffing his face to thank her.

A pleasantly warm smell reminds him of the other treat he had been eyeing.

Mouth full, he says, “and a few of those pies, please,” but it sounds more like a muffled question as he gestures vaguely to the pies with his already stuffed arms. The woman laughs, thankfully, and Monty is relieved that his weakness to sweets hasn’t gotten him kicked out.

But then he remembers again why he’s there. As soon as he swallows the bun his quest pours out of him.

“Into the woods, it’s time to go—ah, I hate to leave, I have to, though.” His eyes squeeze shut the way they do when he stumbles over his words. “Into the woods, it’s time, and so I must begin my journey.”

The Baker nods, something worrying between her brows as she looks him over. He feels one of the treats threaten to slip his grasp.

“Into the woods and through the trees,” he rushes, pinning a bright smile to his face, “to where I am expected, ma’am. Into the woods to grandmother’s house—!”

He rushes for the loaf of bread before they can finish wrapping it, gasping as something falls off of his pile when he catches sight of the cookies. The Baker’s husband is swift in catching it and rolls his eyes. Monty eyes the discarded treat longingly.

“Into the woods to grandmother’s house. . .”

The woman shakes her head fondly, asking warmly, “You’re certain of your way?” To which Monty nods, perking up with new determination.

“The way is clear; the light is good.” He scoffs in dismissive confidence. “I have no fear, nor no one should.”

Mack’s voice echos in his mind as he reaches for his brother’s advice, reaches for cookie after cookie because he just could not stop ogling them. “The woods are just trees; the trees are just wood. I—“ he struggles to grab the last cookie from the tray, his sweet tooth too much to be contained. His voice comes out meek chuckle“—sort of hate to ask it, but do you have a basket?”

He receives one just in time to dump the bread and buns, more relieved nothing will fall than he is to have his arms back. Except for the cookies, that is.

“Don’t stray and be late,” the Baker’s husband drawls. She swats him playfully and adjusts the basket so Monty can place the cookies one by one. Her husband takes it instead, secretly hands her everything that’s placed inside. All the while she simply fills a second basket, hiding her smile.

“Save some of those treats for granny, honey,” she winks. The young man laughs sheepishly.

While Monty steadily empties his pockets into the basket (he had forgotten about stuffing them before), his eyes trail the ceiling as he muses over what he’s been taught.

“Into the woods and down the dell. The path is straight, I know it well,” he hums, distracted by all the sweets he’s acquired. Though that basket doesn’t seem as full as it should be. “Into the woods and who can tell what’s waiting on the journey?”

Mack had told him to he careful, to make sure he turned right back home after visiting grandma. Monty wondered what would happen if he lingered on the path. What would happen if he strayed?

He shakes himself of that curiosity, knowing that he should know better. “Into the woods to bring some bread to granny who is sick in bed,” he continues solemnly, worrying creeping into his heart. His peripheral catches the woman frown. “Never can tell what lies ahead.” He sniffles, realizes something that makes his voice rise. “For all that I know, she’s already—!“

He gasps as he’s enveloped in a hug. Gentle fingers run through his golden-rose curls, and he’s met with whispered reassurances. He doesn’t know what else to do but slump into the embrace. She smells like honey and warm cookies.

After a while Monty gathers himself and pulls away, trying to ignore the wet stickiness of his eyes. “But into the woods.”

“Into the woods?” The woman asks gently, eyes letting him know that he’s okay. He’s strengthened by them.

“Into the woods,” he confirms, now moving towards the door with his basket, unaware of when the sweet woman empties the other into his. He catches sight of the pies he’s had yet to acquire. Something eager and slightly mischievous curls up in his tummy. The Baker seems to notice because he straightens, flickers between Monty and the tray.

“To grandmother’s house. . .”

The two stand on either side of the tray, stuck in suspense as they anticipate one another’s move. Monty’s eyes flick to the tray before his hand does, faking the guy out. The Baker’s narrow, but his smirk betrays him, infecting Monty.

“And home before dark!”

He snatches one of the pies and bolts, laughing around his mouthful as the kind woman’s own mirth echoes behind him.

[psych---ologically-deranged]

Woody!!!!

I finally get to meet Woody! I didn't know he only appeared in s4!!! I love this guy so much, he is the OG psych-ologically deranged (I mean, not really, look at the characters we have)

So here is my psychfacts masterpost on Woody because I'm insane

He has been playing with dead things since he was a toddler

The second ever episode I see with Woody in it has Shawn bribe Woody with slippers. They were so close & chill & calling each other nicely gelled & stuff, so I thought the first time that I'd seen it that they had been close & had conversations for years. I love them.

I'd be honoured to saw through your chest & remove your good natured heart from its cavity.

Third! "Hello Friend!" he says to Shawn <3

"is that third dead person you?" 'Yeah my daughter took a picture of me playing dead for her photography class"

Up to the elbows in blood "you need to try these french fries"

No fingerprints as there are no fingers. Also calls lassiter lassie.

MY MAN JUST DRAWS A KNIFE ON THIS MAN... & then... licks his finger to rub it off...

He's nice, telling gus to breathe properly. ..& then he unveils the severed leg

Woody may not have his face & voice in the philippines. Protection. He also might be a necrophiliac & mixed up formaldehyde & baking soda to get high. He was also part of a barbershop uartet. & their baritone was not alive. & his passion is skydiving, 42 jumps & 3 chute failure deaths.

Woody has the urge to comb their hair & try on their jewelry. I love this man.

He sent a 911 text trying to be a 7/11 text asking shawn gus & lassie to bring him a quesadilla in the shape of a tube. He also plays shuffleboard on the morgue table. Man I miss Rocketball. We had this weird shuffleboard table that was not like any shuffleboard table I've ever seen (shuffleboard is like mini curling), we had billiard/pool balls, & we would set them up on the opposite end like bowling & try to hit them off. I was a champion. It was shuffleboard/curling crossing with billiards/pool crossed with bowling. Great game.

& he found a jackrabbit in his dishwasher.

Ha. Does the perfectly coiled human intestine fit in a 10 gallon hat? Of course I can. *opens his computer to pleasureguide dot net with the word furries on it*

Wowza. Swan dive out of his bedroom window. I've always wanted to try that.

Woody with ipad shawn XD "Can you see this?" 'just like I'm with you there.' "How about this?" *ipad under the blanket... from the wrong end* *Shawn screams*

WS, holding up a 30yo photo of the vic: She was quite a looker. *looks at the mummified skeleton* Still is.

& proceeds to criticize her fashion. & my man didn't know that smallpox was eradicated.

Calls himself the woodmaster

omg he showed up with a six foot body bag when henry got shot. My dude. & later on my man shows up with a pair of bodybags when shawn & gus sit on a landmine. Dang. JoH: Then why are there two body bags under your arm? WS: No reason, dear *drops them*

WS: Whoever covered this up must have kept the body on ice.

WS: Now, come over here.

WS (when they hesitate): Come on! I want to show you something. It's not like you're gonna catch necrophylopigmentosis.

*Shawn laughs*

WS: Probably not. *He reveals the foot with a flourish*

WS: As anyone good at foreplay can tell you, electricity always leaves a mark. I know, I know. T.M.I. Tell more information. You see, a flashlight battery and a paper clip--

BG: Uh, no need to explain, Woody.

WS: I gotta tell you, I sometimes have trouble reading social cues, especially cross-culturally.

BG: What?

WS: Yeah, it's really starting to hurt me in the dating department. I can't--I can't read alive women anymore. *To Juliet* It's like, you're strobing right now.

Juliet set Woody up with Marlowe's parole officer

Woody tried to slip an illegal substance to Lassiter during his bachelor party. (Later, he bakes a cake with a gun in it to give to the guy who held him hostage. "only insane people do that" *throws it away*)

This man, who used to be married & had a 15yo daughter, is living in some mobile home. & Shawn is now his roommate. (& in the remake of the law episode, he slept with the suspect in his mobile home while he was down from LA)

He does a fair amount of nude sunbathing & goes into the water to rinse off, meaning he has almost been taken out by The Vortex.

He is not bulimic: he ate a donut out of the trash the other day

WS: What we have here is a… Woman. I am guessing by this wound, that she died of blunt force trauma to the back of the head. I would place her at about 27 years of age. SS, looking at her hands: I'm gonna say more like 47, Woody. WS: Trust me, Shawn, I know what a 69 (nice) year-old woman looks like in her birthday suit and this ain't it. SS: I said 47. JoH: She's actually 48 years old. WS: Oh, see? So, we were both wrong.

WS: Yeah, you are right. There are tiny surgical scars on her scalp. Yeah. This is well done. Clean lines. Nice smooth finish. This is Dr. Joan Diamond's work. I'd know it anywhere. I saw her speak at a symposium of forensic artists. She also appeared on The Love Boat back when she was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.

(Good old botulism. I could hyperfixate on that if I wanted to.)

CL: Did you sleep here last night? WS: No. Actually, I… Crash here all the time. Something about the smell of formaldehyde just lulls me to sleep. I think it's the scent.

Woody has an anxiety disorder. I'm just glad he didn't swallow the camera. I should liveblog that episode.

Woody Strode: Wife cheated on him 12 times, with 10 men. (He approved the one with the personal trainer)

Woody has a spell cast on him by his mommy that he's getting broken by a wiccan consultant.

My man goes to putin on the ritz a shady russian club for the buffet.

*giving a report to the detectives while there is no body* Here we have a man, looks to be about six foot two. JoH: Woody, there's no body. WS: Oh what a relief! I thought I was the only one not seeing it!

He... ate applya mushrooms (possibly from under the fingernails of the vic) & says they taste like ass...

[uraharasandals]

Continued brainrot about an anxious S/O sending the OG captains off to the Quincy battle! Part 1 here | My own OC here

CAPTAIN OF THE 7TH DIVISION :: SHIGYOU NOBUTSUNA

--  Decaying nobility, morbid paleness spreading a miasma of unease 

The thump of a sword hitting the wooden floor wouldn’t have normally startled you, but news of the Quincy invasion has provided new challenges for your nerves. You can feel the weight of Nobutsuna’s gaze on you as you jump, but you quickly steady yourself. Weakness is definitely not a desirable trait, especially not in the Shigyou household.

“I will execute all of our enemies and deliver justice onto those who invades Soul Society,” Nobutsuna states bluntly and clearly, hands folded on top of the hilt of his sword. You raise an eyebrow at this - rarely does he voice his thoughts on his principles and beliefs, but apparently this is an occasion that calls for it.

“I rest my faith in you, Nobutsuna-sama.” 

CAPTAIN OF THE 8TH DIVISION :: KATORI BATSU’UNSAI 

-- Innocence at first glance, a swift butchering delivered without mercy 

Batsu’unsai’s aura of innocence makes many let down their guard due to their initial assessment of her as someone who has accidentally wandered onto the battlefield, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. Little do they know her proficiency with her weapon - rarely do her enemies realise it was her blade that slices them into clean pieces that fall onto the floor like slabs of meat.

And it’s with this faith in her abilities that you linger at the doorway as she turns around, a small smile on her face, as if she was heading out for a walk. “________, I’ll be off then, okay?” 

“See you, Batsu-chan,” You reply in the same tone, giving her a small wave. The smile widens in return of your affection, but her expression shifts as the sunlight catches on her glasses - when the light obscures her eyes, something sinister flickers on her features. “Stay safe, alright?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I will.”

CAPTAIN OF THE 9TH DIVISION :: KUMOI ENTETSU

-- A tall and imposing sentry, unmoving and threatening like jagged rock 

“You do understand that there’s no reason for me to get rid of the bloodstains when you’ll just stain it with the blood of your enemies again, right, Entetsu?” Slightly annoyed, you hand his newly bequeathed white haori to him, a piece of clothing that came with his new title. The man merely opens his mouth slightly at you - the golden teeth fastened on his lips serve as a perpetual and unnerving grin. Despite your complaints, he knows you don’t really mind - it’s proof of his ability on the battlefield, and the bloodstained legacy he bears. 

Shrugging it on, Entetsu picks up his sword - already in shikai form, and you swallow at the sight of it. Despite the number of times you’ve seen it in its released form, the fact that it resembles a club still unnerves you. Then again, his whole appearance serves to do the same.

“I’ll try to spare you the chore tonight, __________.” And that’s the end of it - no loving words, no reassurances, a comment so common and casual that it would’ve been part of your regular conversations. Entetsu promptly turns and leaves, also bringing the threat of death with himself. 

CAPTAIN OF THE 10TH DIVISION :: OUTOGAWA FURUOKI

-- Unwavering stature of nobleness, sternness maintained even in face of death

Furuoki has never really been a man of many words, preferring to replace them with his music - something you’ve always found ironic, him dressing himself as a man of art rather than of blade - and he refuses to make an exception even as he may be marching to his death.

“Don’t tell me you’re bringing your hat to the battlefield as well, Furuoki.” The comment, clearly made in sarcasm, manages to make the corner of his lips tug up slightly, almost as if he’s restraining himself, stopping himself from laughing - but otherwise, he maintains his stern expression. You let out a small exhale, wanting to make the mood more light-hearted, but of course, not to be. 

“Are you going to say anything, or will you go without any last words?” You raise an eyebrow. Normally, acting like this would hardly make him happy - in fact, acting out like this usually makes him irritated, but in the face of an enemy invasion, you could hardly care about his preference for righteousness and proper conduct when this may very well be the last time you see him.

“Stop being ridiculous - you’re overthinking.” Those are the only words he leaves you with, before he promptly walks off. A thin smile spreads your lips - typical, as always. Even in face of death.

CAPTAIN OF THE 11TH DIVISION :: UNOHANA YACHIRU

-- A spider lily from the depths of the underworld, death blooming in her wake 

Yachiru is so beautiful when she’s stationary, standing like this and staring at you with those soulless eyes of hers - arguably more beautiful than when she’s on the battlefield, killing foes and allies alike mercilessly with the quick flash of her blade. She stares at you, and any words that you want to say die on the tip of your tongue, because really, what could you say (and honestly, what right do you even have to say anything) to the woman who’s known as the most merciless killer in the entirety of Soul Society? 

Small wonder she has yet to murder you. You suspect the only thing keeping you around is your wits, and the fact that she has yet to be bored in your presence. 

Picking up her blade - polished and without blood, fruit of your efforts - and sliding it carefully into her scabbard, she steadies the weapon strapped to her waist. There was a period of silence between you two, where unspoken words were exchanged through glances that were perfected throughout the years, before you step forward tentatively. Yachiru lets you, her eyes never leaving your actions, watching you attentively like predator stalking her prey. 

Except, you have no overt intentions aside from picking up her hand. Years of battle has honed her instincts, and she reacts reflexively, but you wait - and Yachiru lets you clasp her hand in yours eventually, before raising it to your lips, and brushing the skin almost heart-breakingly tenderly with a kiss. 

Then the moment fades, and she’s gone like the wind, the only evidence of your goodbye gift a tingling on your lips from the sheer amount of reiatsu she exudes. 

CAPTAIN OF THE 12TH DIVISION :: UHIN ZENJOUJI

-- Overdressed corpulence, visual aposematism accentuating venom

The moment Zenjouji had been given news of his current appointment, he had jeered at the irony of the entire situation - a sentiment that had not passed you by either, to be frank. “Yamamoto Genryusai gathering a band of murderers to defend Seireitei? Even the punchline of a well-written joke wouldn’t have been as funny!” 

And it was with that same sense of sentiment as you watch him applying the paint to his face - a mask of sorts, but also resembling war paint, strangely; a routine of sorts - before he heads to the battlefield. “You’re not going with this seriously, are you?” 

Zenjouji looks at you like you’re being ridiculous - which you suppose you are, having known the man for such a long time. “Are ya kiddin’ me? ‘Course I ain’t! I’ll go and smash some heads together and call it a day!” 

As expected, really.  

CAPTAIN OF THE 13TH DIVISION :: SAKAHONE SAIZOU

-- A wandering corpse of shaken bones, rattling death in graves borne in his wake

“I don’t understand why Genryusai-dono asked you, Saizou-dono,” You state flatly, standing in front of his katana, which was propped on the shelf behind your back. “You may have been formidable in your prime, but you’re well past that now.”

He grins toothily at you - meant to be menacing, you’re sure, but not now, and especially not in this context. “Regardless of what you think, _________, Yamamoto has asked me. And so I’ll answer.”

“Whatever for?” You retort. You aren’t afraid of losing him to battle - Sakahone Saizou was more than capable of holding his ground. Or at least, that was what you told yourself. Secretly, you worry - given his current state and age, you aren’t so sure anymore. “Pride?” 

Before you were aware of the fact, Saizou had already retrieved his weapon that you thought you had barred him from. “Merely for igniting these old bones of mine, __________.” 

[rosemariad]

Supernatural season 13

I've heard of the widower arc that takes place during the early part of this season but geez

Dean looks so depressed – the desolation, the hopelessness. Poor Dean Bean, lost his angel yet again. You can't help but feel for the poor guy (for now…)

Then the instant 180, uno reverse this man takes in his demeanor. He's so happy Cas is back. AND having a big cowboy adventure! They're spoiling this man after the widower arc. Jack & Sam are not down for it but Dean's been so miserable they shut the fuck up.

Dean swallowing deeply when Cas quotes Tombstone – confirmation they have movie nights together (ALONE??????) if they were alone during these movie nights – they're basically dating w/o clarifying that they are actually dating – and they're coparenting, my goodness! The domestication is real!

We later find out Dean snuck a quick shot of Cas in the little cowboy hat he made him wear for the case. Wow.

But as a side note - I did NOT appreciate how shitty Dean was to Jack. He was basically abusing him verbally like WTF give the kid a damn chance - don’t make death threats to the newborn child that was literally born yesterday like the fuck #jackdefensesquad. Like anything bad that jack actually does, he’ll think back to the moments where Dean was like ‘oh he’s a monster’ ’when you go dark side, I’ll be the one to kill you’ yeah like maybe that’s what pushed him to that point. It’s no surprise Jack chooses to leave. My ass would’ve been gone. Also was Cas made aware of the threats Dean made to Jack???

They’re making it REALLY HARD to like Dean this season. MoC was bad, Demon!Dean too but evil forces were at work. This time he got no excuse — threatening at 16 yr old girl who has no one in her corner. They’re basically forcing her to help them for nothing in return. Unbelievable 🤬 And Sam, wtf? Would it kill you to stand up to your fuckin’ brother!

Anyway - Jack’s power is totally cool though.

Kaia…was killed by an alternate self? Whaaaaaat?

So this was the season they tried for the Wayward Girls? Shame it didn’t work out…like the premise is cool BUT since the main show barely give the women characters the time of day, is it any wonder that a pilot didn’t work? The showrunners only seem good with moments - but no building up of the narrative like the male counterparts AKA main cast. Also - what would be the conflict - give people a reason to keep watching the girls - their storylines seem more or less resolved - Jody has already mourned the loss of her family, its not like she became Batman or something to fight a war against criminality. Claire has also gotten past the loss of her parents (as far as we know but honestly she should’ve been part of the main narrative as her life had been directly affected by Castiel’s actions and we all know why Cas bothers to get up in the morning…anyway), Donna doesn’t seem to have anything going on - she’s divorced but over it, Alex is over her dark past, Patience is just seeming to get a hand of her abilities - like where are the stakes??? Sam and Dean had a whole quest to embark on, then they had to navigate fraternal relationship while fighting monsters all the time, slowly unraveling an overarching narrative that’s taken over their lives. Where’s that for the ladies????

I spoke too soon - Donna’s niece gets kidnapped and Doug is her boyfriend (wow totally forgot about that guy, certainly didn’t think he’d return) and once he gets turned into a vampire but cured of it, he’s done. Before he leaves Donna, he calls her a hero. Honestly, if I ended up having a partner/lover who killed dangerous supernatural creatures, I wouldn’t leave them. I’d stick by them and have them teach me a few things. Oh well. Maybe Donna will run to Jody to have a shoulder to cry on ;) I know y’all JodyxDonna shippers are out there.

Scoobynatural was fucking legendary! I loved watching Scooby doo as a kid, from when they were literal babies, to the OG episodes, to the revamp from the early 2000s, all the movies! (Zombie Island was the best!). It was a genuine delight watching the Winchesters (and Cas) cross paths with Mystery Inc. makes me wish they met Buffy and Ash from Evil Dead. That would’ve been awesome! Watching Dean say scooby dooby doo was total cringe tho :/ I love that Cas shut him down 🤣🤣

That ascot though? He’s wearing it all wrong, its supposed to be stuffed in, like how Fred wears it. And certainly not worn with plaid. SMH…

But now I totally want Supernatural as a fucking cartoon! Just like Scooby Doo - it would’ve been fucking glorious, Dean’s unhinge-able jaw, the kooky facial expressions, the comedic effects, and who knows, it would’ve given the show-runners the artistic freedom to reveal the true form of angels, namely, Castiel’s. Oh well.

Donatello is…dead? I know they said Brain dead but after Amara sucked out his soul and Cas fucked up his brain, isn’t he better off dead? Par for the course for a prophet though, sucks for him.

Funny how Rowena suddenly wants to be the good mom and try to bring her demon son back after CENTURIES of chances. Sure she may not have known what became of Fergus since she left him, but I’m sure it wouldn’t have taken much to find out. She just didn’t want to. Now she’s filled with regret. And Sam’s destined to murder her? And she didn’t take him out? Okay, well then I guess it’s only a matter of time until she dies😒 not this season though, she’s too useful with her witchy powers to be killed off until she serves whatever purpose is convenient 😒

Angels are almost extinct :( I know they’re meant to be seen as controlling jerks but so is Dean XD lol anyway that’s a bummer with devastating consequences cuz if there’s no angels - they said all the souls will fall to Earth and become ghosts - billions in number - yeah. If it were me I would’ve just said the souls disappear but it ain’t my show 🤷🏽‍♀️

Naomi is back and I don’t even care - I’m sorry but I just don’t care about Apocalypse world either, I feel like it’s a grand waste of time. The fact that Charlie and Bobby are there doesn’t even matter cuz it’s not them. It’s not the Charlie and Bobby we got to know before. They’re just counterparts of another world, echoes of the fallen. When Dean says I can’t lose you, dude you literally just met her. And they’re expected to what, abandon the world they were born into? The fuck?

And fuck this show for killing Kevin TWICE!!! Kevin you were too precious for this universe/multiverse, whatever.

ketch is the latest (aside from rowena) of former villains/enemies/antagonist in supernatural that's suddenly we're supposed to be sympathetic towards since they switch sides and help the winchesters for a change but what's the reason??? I feel it's a little out there that Dean especially would let ketch live after what he put his mom through but whatever. since the show runners insisted with this whole apocalypse world crap, Dean would have died without ketch's help 😑

Gabriel has returned…only to die…again…awesome. at least he got to fuck rowena before he passed away 🤣😅

Luci got fucked over hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha

Bobby x Mary, oh man John would be roaring in his grave…if he had one 🤣 [got burned to ashes in season 2], Bobby finna take his whole family, first his sons now his wife ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Luci resurrected someone? And nothing bad happened? Now tht’s a twist. I figured since he’s Satan she’d turn into a demon or something, but i guess not cuz we’re definitely not gonna see her again…

You know since I’ve seen The Boys I can see a resemblance between homelander and the devil, they both blow up in anger very similarly. When jack tells Luci, you’re not my father, he raged in a way that was eerily like Homelander would’ve. Just thought I’d point that out…

Dean lets in Alt-Michael - Oh Lord above its the apocalypse all over again (this was a cool shot though) - meanwhile what’s OG Michael doing? Is he still in the Cage with Adam? Really? You had to bring an extra Michael into this nonsense? Ok 🙄 You know if Luci had possessed Sam too, it would’ve been a wrap!

Jack is powerless…for now? This poor kid was gonna kill himself?! Honey why? Ugh I’m blaming Dean for this. He put the seed in that kid’s head he was nothing but trouble and he was going to sacrifice himself, poor baby!

Cas why would you let Dean go?!?! Too sad to follow him into battle after Dean let Alt-Michael in?

Why can’t Sam get a super powerful Big Bad kill huh? Why is it always Dean? Geez.

So the only good things to happen this season were Scooby Doo and Jack meeting Cas. Ugh, their meetup was soo cute ^_^

Welp only 2 seasons left, the last that’s over 20 episodes. Which means we only have 40 episodes to go til the end…goodie 😅

[sapatry]

AAA Here he is! Our favorite depressed man that got a messy divorce and lost the kids on the Machine genocide. Thom is our Ultratech CEO that really shows that humanity hates dying and loves living.

As u may know from my og Post for the T1 model, this is its soul, the last human "tecnicaly" alive. Cheated death, yet it fallen to hell for flesh, cause at the end of the day its still inside a model that needs blood and flesh as fuel. Fun facts about his desing is that he has scars that represent his life scars.

Little disclaimer for self hatred here.

Thom was pretty much hatting himself after that divorce, represented as scars from his arms and legs wich are more simbolic than actual happenings to his body when he was alive. He also is a smoking addict, so he has scars arround his chest cause his lungs are fucked even in his soul. The horns are there for simbolizing that he indeed could belong in hell. He also has poor vision so he has scars arround his eyes, wich then become worse when a fallen angel atacks his soul directly, to one of his eyes, thats why there is a version of him with a bandage.

Here is this drawing again, I know, but its here to show how the soul could interact outside it's metal prison. The eye of the machine is used as an temporal exit, but the soul it self will never get out of there, having a limit on how much it can seperate from the metalic body. Even out of it he can still control de machine.

Again, this is al fan stuff, no way Im saying this is possible in Ultrakill canon, this is all made for fun so take note of that pls unu. It was so much fun writing this broken man and the concept of humanity fighting till their biggest limit is a cool thing. Also, love me salty angels coping with the fact that a human in a machine beat them.

[getvalentined]

THIS IS MY JAM SO I AM GOING TO GO OFF UNDER THE CUT. To put it simply: the "official timeline" is fucked at basically every turn.

It claims that mako was discovered 30 years ago—Grimoire Valentine was a specialist in the science, and he died before the Jenova Project or Project 0 began, so probably in early 1976. How can a man be a specialist in science based on something that wasn't discovered until a year after his death?

It claims that Jenova was discovered and confirmed to be a Cetra in 1977—the plaque on her helmet literally says she was "found" on October 10, 1959, and "sealed" on July 2, 1967. Since she was sealed up in the Nibel Reactor, this indicates that mako reactors have been in use since at least 1967.

It claims that Gast left "30 years ago," in spite of the actual games indicating that he left when Sephiroth was around 6 years old, and that he died in the same timeframe, in spite of Aerith being born in 1985 and Gast being her father.

First SOLDIER gave us a fairly clear timeline of the Jenova Project compared to Project 0 compared to what was going on with Vincent that works out very well. The official Dirge guide says that Vincent was asleep under the mansion for, very specifically, 23 years. This would mean that he was sealed up when Sephiroth was 6-7, around the same time Gast left according to the games, when Hojo was put in charge of the Jenova project. This makes perfect sense, because Lucrecia was working on Project 0 in Midgar after the Jenova Project (again according to FS), so she was around for years after Sephiroth was born.

Gast is not involved in Project 0, but Hojo and Lucrecia are, indicating that they were sent to work on that after their part in the Jenova Project was finished. So Gast had baby Sephiroth. Hojo is fucking with Vincent in the interim, presumably nicking off to Nibelheim periodically and testing stuff that he's not allowed to try on Project 0 just yet to see if anything works. Vincent starts to degrade because Hojo does too much, and Hojo leaves him there. Lucrecia comes back to Nibelheim, finds Vincent, and picks up where Hojo left off before Vincent has rotted away. She continues this process until Gast disappears and Hojo is given control of the Jenova Project—not her. She is never going to get to see her son. If Gast wouldn't let her, Hojo certainly won't. This is why she gives up and leaves. She has nothing let to fight for.

Sephiroth was almost certainly born on Christmas of 1977—he's the son of a "god," meant to be a messiah, and he was canonically born in the Nibelheim Inn. if they went this far on the Jesus imagery here and didn't intend to have him born on Christmas, I will eat my hat.

Genesis was probably born on January 1st of 1977, with his name meaning "the beginning" and the fact that he had to be born before Sephiroth was even conceived; him being normal is what made Gast shift focus to Project S in the first place.

As there are no files on Angeal anywhere, Gillian was married so early that Angeal didn't know Hollander was his biological father, and he grew up poor while Genesis' parents were paid off by Shinra on the regular, Angeal had to have been born at some point after Genesis in an attempt by Hollander to catch up to Project S even without Gast's oversight. (This makes Angeal the baby.)

So yeah the timeline is fucked. Sephiroth is 30 in the OG, he's 25 when he burns Nibelheim down, and he's 22 when Genesis defects.

Just to add MORE confusion to the general Jenova Project timeline, I found this image of what I presume is from an official Crisis Core guide that suggests that Sephiroth (and Gen and Angeal) are all “around 25″.

And while I would agree with this estimation based on their designs as well as the overall time it would have taken in between Ever Crisis and Crisis Core for them to have become very good friends, the Jenova Project is listed as starting in the fall of 1977, with Crisis Core starting in 2000. Assuming the period of pregnancy began right after the project was sanctioned and taking into account 9 months plus whatever amount of spacing in between when the trio were all born, it still doesn’t fully add up. AND the ultimate guide suggests that they were born around 1980 (which I completely disagree with because there is no way Angeal is 20 at the start of CC like NO FRIGGIN’ WAY). 

The guide already has some sketchy segments like Gast supposedly leaving timeline-wise when Seph was a newborn despite the fact that Sephiroth talks of openly knowing him and having enough awareness to have held conversations with him, as well as get a general impression of what kind of scientist he is. And then there’s the suggestion that Lucrecia stuck around for several years after Sephiroth’s birth and left at some indeterminate period of time, which isn’t the impression I really got from Dirge. It feels like she left around only a year or so, maybe less. How long did Vincent say he was asleep for? HHHHH so messyyy.

Anyway, I’m going to put a pin on things and say that the trio is around 22.5 at the start of Crisis Core and 24.5 by the end (except Angeal he’s dead by then lol whoops). Even that still feels a bit too young from how they present themselves. I’ve always envisioned that Sephiroth is around 30 at the time of Final Fantasy 7 but whatever.

The irony is that there’s enough room that, with a few tweaks, clarifications, and slight changes to established lore, you could make this all make sense. 

[earthbovndmisfit]

ok idk if the mer au has a canon but it's just a scenario: what if merman jonathan saved human speedwagon who was drowning but in the process has to turn him into a mer as a last resort to save his life? and it's like a one time deal with no turning back? would speedwagon be upset at having to live the rest of his life as a mer but at least he gets to be with jonathan?

This is gonna be long, but here we go:

For starters, I think he would be shocked and upset once he wakes up. Not upset or mad at Jonathan tho! I think Speebs would be upset because, as much as he's learned about merpeople and is used to them after meeting Jonathan (and possibly living with him for a while, too) and that mer stuff may not be as much of a huge surprise to him like it would be to most other people, its safe to say that it would still be a huge and drastic change for him. It's not the same to learn and even live with a merman than to one day just wake up and find out that you're no longer a human. Not to mention all the physical changes that all this implies, along with the fact that, even though Speedwagon survived and he’s still alive, his life as a human is over anyway, and that, while he can still roam around on the land and etc like Jona does, Robert will now not be able to do much there (not as much as he is used to, at least), and that, since him and Jona are both mermen now, the best they can do now is live underwater, as there is pretty much no way they can live on land on their own without someone to make a living and supporting them, unless this falls with the mer au with the aquarium? in which case they may be able to live there and Speedwagon can still retain part of his previous life in a way.

Even then, though, the shock would remain for a bit since this would be such a huge change for Speedwagon, all paired up with the trauma of just having been through a near death experience, which is basically why all this would be happening in the first place.

There would be so much going on through his mind at the time, and I’m sure Jonathan would be by his side all the time, supporting him and trying to comfort him, but also having mixed feelings himself and what he did. Like, he’s absolutely happy that he was able to help and save Robert but, after seeing the struggles and concern and shock in Robert’s face, Jona is also not sure if his decision of turning him into a merman without his consent was the right decision and etc. However, once Speebs is out of his shocked state, he would definitely thank Jonathan for saving him, all with genuine gratitude and not just some empty words to make Jona feel better with himself.

Much like their og versions, I think they would have to go through some kind of process of getting adapted to all these massive changes, and maybe some healing process for Robert since I’m sure it wouldn’t be too easy for him to lose his previous life so abruptly from one moment to another. He would also miss his friends on the land so much -namely, Tattoo and Kenpo, Hat Lad too-, thinking that he won’t be able to see them again (this in the case of merpeople having to remain hidden from humans?) but, eventually, finding a way to let them know he’s not dead or gone and staying in contact with them by visiting each other and maybe even regaining some sense of "normalcy" from his previous life in regards to his friends on the land.

All that said, I absolutely think he would adapt to his new life after some time! Og Speebs is remarkable for his adaptability even in situations that might not be the optimal for him, and I think that would also apply here. Besides, and like you pointed it out, anon, Jonathan and him get to be together and share their lives in a way that they wouldn't have been able to had he remained a human, for example. Speedwagon is also an adventurous man, so this new life would be a wonderful start, as he now has a whole new world waiting for him, and he'd be more than ready to explore it along with Jonathan, and which would also be some kind of a new start for him as well (as he too has probably never had the chance to do so before, given all the bad stuff he's been put through in his life and being pretty much alone all the time before he met Speedwagon).

[generalcrowntyphoon]

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[between-two-fandoms]

Guys I'm making a crack video about what the Hat Men are in case there are still ppl who havent heard of the Hat Men theory yet.

[morganas-pendragons]

Halo Episode 9: Season Finale 

"When the game is over, the King and the Pawn go back into the same box."

APPARENTLY THEY DO. Spoilers for Episode 9!

I have some very mixed feelings about this episode. For the most part, I enjoyed it. There seems to be a consensus of dislike for this episode.. but I want to elaborate on the ending. I'll do that a bit further down.

Honorable mentions before I get into the deep stuff: I've seen Pablo's instagram posts over the last couple of weeks, and this man is 100% dedicated to bringing the best possible version of the Master Chief to screen. I will blame the bad writing (which has been several episodes this season) on the writers, because Pablo himself has done an absolutely phenomenal job as John. Also, he has these gorgeous colored eyes that I literally cannot stop staring at.

Hats off to Makee's actress too, because she aced that role. I'm not entirely sure if she's completely gone -- but I don't quite understand if she'll have a future role in season 2. She's too key a player to have just.. been killed off. I wasn't surprised by it at all. There was no way a human was going to kick off the Great Journey (even though for a while there, I really thought she would.) The Covenant despise humanity. Even if Kai hadn't killed her, I still believe she'd be dead.

"There's always a place for the Blessed One if that is what you want."

I'm just not entirely sold on her being dead yet.

Natascha. Natascha and Halsey. She has definitely become my favorite character in this entire show so far outside of Cortana because I love how different and yet so similar they are to their game counterparts.

Now, to the episode... deeper meta underneath of this.

SLEAZY AIDUN FINALLY DIED GOD BLESS

Halsey, Queen of War Crimes and BFFS with ONI: arrest me? hah. hahahaha. hahahahahahahahahaha.

kai taking off at full sprint and somehow making it onto Halsey's ship is definitely a mirror of Kelly, who is canonically the fastest of the Spartan II's. GO OFF QUEEN!!!!!

I love how desperate the Spartans are to learn about their past. This entire show has done the one thing that the games didn't in focusing on the Spartan's and their humanity. 

kai? fakeout death? lol

i really need to know why these four are the only spartans, paramount. please.

shut up the scene in the lab with cortana and john was so freaking cute i swear my heart exploded

where this show lacks in writing, they excel in cinematography. they've aced it.

same goes for the music!

THEY USED SO MANY SIMILAR SONGS TO THE OG SCORE IN THIS EPISODE

the spartan banter is so.. so.. so funny

BUT PLEASE PARAMOUNT GIVE RIZ AND VANNAK SOME DEPTH

okay so fun fact for the first scene occurring on whatever planet this is.. the fact that the elites are dressed in ceremonial armor? this is a direct callback to the games where the elites were the designated protectors of the prophets until regret died, and then the brutes took their place.

and speaking of that planet, for about thirty seconds i was absolutely convinced this was meant to be sanghelios

you know

the elite homeworld????? (it's not but it SURE LOOKS LIKE IT)

this conversation between john and cortana in the cockpit of the pelican is so.. so telling of the growth since their introduction. she's making her own choices.. she isn't letting Halsey dictate her or letting her programming decide what she does. She is choosing her own purpose.

And once Cortana says "I was also designed to learn, John. I have. From you." he begins to believe that she's not all she thought she was and some modicum of trust begins to form here. More then we probably realize.

the scene with the stars in john's eyes is my favorite shot in the entire series and i will die on this hill because it's absolutely beautiful

the absolute bitterness and rage behind miranda's eyes and every word she has with halsey in that interrogation room just.. ugh

it's so powerful

BUT ESPECIALLY THE FACT SHE CALLED HER MOTHER?????

the halo infinite and show parallel with dropping out of the pelican. art. magnificent. show stopping.

vannak absolutely is the guy who uses two needlers for the dramatic flare

okay so the keystones are not the activation index.. they were really just meant to be the keys to a star map.. gotcha

okay now the REALLY important part

the brute who took the artifact the first time? that giant hulking mass of muscle who keeps showing up and cortana said "remember him?"

that brute is atriox

for context: leader of the banished, the guy who beat the absolute crap out of john at the start of halo infinite, yeah that atriox

which to me makes no sense to have this early, it would be far more likely to be tartarus at this point but oh well

can't wait until they find out there's multiple halos lol

also guys... it's not that easy to crack the helmet visor

spartan locke (a spartan IV) just barely managed to break it in halo 5 with his fists

i'm blaming all the lack of strength in the armor due to it being such an early version of the mjolnir

the way cortana has to move her hands and her arms because she's never been in a human body before...

also kudos to pablo because both he and pedro pascal have mastered the art of making armors appear as second skins

you can tell it's not john by the way he moves after cortana takes control

i love the little touch with the blue in the hud

fred - vannak

kelly - kai

linda - riz

john - john (LOL)

i am very very curious how this is going to go into next season, because I'm not quite sure how the UNSC would feel knowing Halsey got what she wanted with Cortana taking control of John and essentially have the master chief but not having john.

Now. To the questionable part.

I really do not dig that we don't get a glimpse of the silent, stoic canonical John until Cortana takes control of his body. Her taking control was a huge show of trust on his part -- because everyone has taken control of John's life except John (until recently) and to allow Cortana to do the one thing he said he never would is exponential growth of trust between them. I just don't think this was the way to go even if that was the purpose of Cortana's creation.

The show of trust? That I did like.

Her purpose was not to meld with John and be the ultimate soldier. That's not what it was at all. Not in the games. They were meant to work together. To protect each other and take care of one another.

She chose him. I just keep leading myself back to the opening of Halo 3 every time I watch this, to all these lines I've memorized over the years of why John and Cortana's relationship became the way it did.

"Could you sacrifice me to complete your mission? Could you watch me die?"

"I can't watch you die."

By taking over John, Cortana is essentially watching everything that makes him John die. She's fulfilling a purpose she doesn't even agree with anymore.

Also. The chest touch? Perfect pull from Halo 4, Paramount. Well done.

"When the game is over, the King and the Pawn go back into the same box."

They did go back into the same box. They both went into John.

overall, this season gets a 7/10 from me. there was alot of parts i liked, many i loved, and much i didn’t. i really hope soren and kwan are side characters in the next season because they provided no real scope of use for this one, and i don’t quite see how they’d fit - other then Kwan with the Protector role of what looks to clearly be a Monitor and a portal I am convinced has to do with getting to Halo. 

That’s all I have. Let me know what you think!