#and obviously there are a lot of even more in depth exploration you can do

[oaxleaf]

i do feel like pulley makes a conscious choice, whilst she typically acknowledges the homophobia that would be present in a period setting, to not make it a significant plot point or to have too much angst surrounding it, which i very much appreciate. sometimes you can put queer people in fun historical settings and let them be miserable for reasons other than being queer. simultaneously, i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the themes of heteronormativity in thlovk. because those are not necessarily the same thing? i’m lucky enough to not have experienced much in-person homophobia, but by god does hetero- and cisnormativity prevail no matter how progressive of a place you live in.

so yeah, the way valery talks about things like marriage and family really resonates. the pretty much presumed loneliness, the notion that if you don’t settle down with your opposite-sex partner and have a bunch of kids then you’ll end up sad and uncared for. and whilst homophobia is mentioned and relevant (though more so when it comes to shenkov), heteronormativity is the real insidious attitude in the novel. how valery himself, throughout the entierty of the novel, keeps presuming that he’ll always lie farthest down on the list of people shenkov cares about, because the straight nuclear family promotes the idea that love and caring is a limited resource in a person when it really isn’t, and that a romantic, heterosexually married spouse will always take the automatic highest priority, followed by ones biological children, and that there even needs to be a hierarchy. valery’s insecurities are not about being queer, but it’s about the things everybody assumes you’ll never have just because of your queerness. and i appreciate an exploration of the struggles of queer identity that go deeper than the risk of hatred and homophobia

[prone-to-fleeting-obsessions]

Dating Veritas Ratio Affection hc's

Will not leave you alone...

He's like a tall, very vocal shadow

It's basically just become common place for him to immediately follow you whenever you're heading, without saying a single word, continuing the focus on his activity of writing or reading or whatever as he follows a step behind you

Occasionally he'll look up and be sort of surprised about where exactly you've unconsciously led him, but won't actively admit he was just following you mindlessly

It's very common for him to be constantly solving your minor problems, too

He doesn't want to encourage you relying on him for everything, of course, but any small way he can make your life easier is an action of second nature

Obviously, he has a drink you like all set out and ready for you after an exhausting day, of course the bills, taxes, and other horrible legalities are already taken care of, and yes there's a bath drawn for you, don't look so surprised

He's basically constantly anticipating potential problems or dangers you might face, and takes preemptive steps to keep things safe and pleasant, you can be pretty much positive any action you take has been preemptively thought over thoroughly on your behalf

He's not necessarily going to tell you what to do, but if there is a 'right answer', he will be making it known

Despite his schedule, he is almost borderline devoted to taking some time out of the day to more thoroughly learn about your hobbies and current interests

If you are going to be engaging in stimulating conversation, it wouldn't be fair to make it only about his interests, and all knowledge is beneficial knowledge

Really, engaging in thoughtful conversations and taking real initiative to show he values your interest is his love language

Pretty much any hobby you love, he'll be making an attempt at, if only to spend more time together

If you go searching, you might occasionally find little sticky notes written around his working area, a lot of which are simply fleeting thoughts to be explored in greater depth later (including design plans for a little gadgets he thinks you might get use out of), but a good handful mention your name specifically and different things he wants to bring up with you, or even gift ideas for down the line

Once he realizes that you've been digging around there, he'll probably start writing them in code, giving you just enough time to crack exactly what the conversion is before switching to another, making it into a sort of puzzle

Due to his connections, note taking, and overall general perceptiveness, he is utterly fantastic at giving gifts

If he realizes you two are growing sort of disconnected, or even drifting, because of your need for emotional support, he begrudgingly takes a course or reads extensively on emotional intelligence to better understand and respond, without directly telling you of course

On days when you two aren't able to see each other because of his traveling, he writes stupid long texts filled with his usual style of difficult to read sophisticated language detailing everything you're missing out on and a good handful of check ins for what exactly you're doing and if you're fairing ok

Definitely won't admit to it, but he gets a little paranoid sometimes

His physical affection is usually subtle, that's not his specialty after all... But it's common to find a hand resting somewhere on you keeping you close, or a subtle small kiss on your hand or cheek as a reminder that he does really love you, even if it's done with a rather stoic face

Genuinely doesn't get embarrassed over PDA

Why on earth would he care what anybody else thinks? It's not their business, he's certainly not going to hold back making you feel better over something as stupid as how other people think of him

His compliments tend to feel a bit blunt, as with the rest of his speaking, lacking any sort of nuance or emotional flair, but they all feel incredibly genuine too, like a real testament to your character and accomplishments, always catching you off guard when they do happen

At the very least, you can be thoroughly sure any sort of compliment is given genuinely and with plenty of thought put into it, as he isn't known to hold back on telling his real feelings about somebody to their face...

[scurvyboy]

ok its kinda awkward. but your super honest humble thoughts about fiddlebill but with possesing fords body (like theyre doing stuff but ford has no clue about it)?

idk i just keep thinking about these dorks and ok its super unhealthy but kinda funny how they could just kick ford out to wander as a ghost and he wouldn't even mind it at all bc it gives him opportunity to explore things in gravity falls

honestly that makes a lot of sense to me. allow me to refer to my graph:

as you can see, according to the challengers love triangle diagram, fiddleford is placed on the "horny" corner. This means that he is majorly part of the relationship for the physical aspects of it. obviously he still clearly has feelings for ford, but over all ford is more emotionally attached to both him and bill. also fidds isn't emotionally attached to bill at all and vice versa. bill would probably go for fidds because he'd want to use fords body to fuck something and he already knows that he would be game.

because of this, it's fairly safe to assume that fiddleford would bang bill while he's possessing fords body. I think he would be into it but also feel a little bad morally (his morals are shot). ford also seems like he only has sex with humans in two positions and refuses to make eye contact, which fiddleford attended coked out bisexual swinger parties in the 70's mcgucket wouldn't be into all the time. He would not have sex with bill in triangle form because he's not as much of a freak as ford is.

also i love the idea of ford as a ghost just hanging out and doing his own thing while they get nasty. he absolutely would use this as an opportunity to enter government buildings and look at classified documents.

I hope this was humble and in depth enough for you. and in all honesty, i think not even considering a ship just because it's kind of toxic is a bit stupid if everyone in it is a bad person. i think it's great specifically because they're all bad people.

[casscainmainly]

Bruce Wayne & Cassandra Cain in Batgirl (2000)

My last post covered the top 10 moments overall, but I had to skip a lot of my favourite moments involving specifically Batman and Batgirl. So here's a non-comprehensive, chronological list of great Bruce & Cass moments!!

Who Does She Remind You Of?

One of the most interesting things about their relationship is that initially, Cass doesn't have a name and doesn't know Bruce's name; they are purely Batgirl and Batman. This lack of alter ego allows Bruce to identify very heavily with Cass, and sets up the foundation for why Bruce acts the way he does later. He views Cass as a mirror of himself, which has both positive and negative repercussions.

You Can't Understand A Word I'm Saying

EXTREMELY underrated Bruce and Cass moment from Issue #2. Though I believe they fundamentally understand each other, there's still a disconnect between them (a disconnect Cass shares with everyone). But this disconnect goes both ways - Bruce is the one having trouble communicating here, saying 'I don't know how to say this' and pausing frequently (this speech pattern is very reminiscent of Cass' inner monologue towards the end of this run!). A great example of how neither of them are fully able to express the depth of their feelings towards each other.

Denial

A pivotal moment in Bruce's conception of Cass. When confronted with evidence that she killed a man, Bruce goes into complete denial. She's 'gentle', fully understanding his rejection of murder; how can she be a murderer? It's indicative of just how much he's projecting onto Cass, but also how much he genuinely cares about her. The second panel is underrated too - like David Cain, Bruce sees Cass as 'perfect', a word that will haunt Cass for arcs to come. This is where we start to see how Bruce's belief in Cass' perfection and morals negatively impacts her self-conception (as a perfect tool/weapon).

Good Answer

An incredible moment that's classic for a reason. Perfectly encapsulates both Cass' instinctive desire to protect, and Bruce's recognition of how similar Cass is to him. Also how his belief in her, however unintentionally, feeds into her death wish.

Jason Todd

Another underrated moment!!! This is the first major instance of conflict between death-wish Cass and no-more-dead-kids Bruce, and it's delicious. Bruce willingly opens up to her about Jason's death, and moreover, by comparing Cass to Jason, positions her as his child as well. It's sweet and sad and explains some of Bruce's more overprotective moments.

Denial 2

Not really denial but thematically it fits. When Bruce is framed for murder, the Batfam try to figure out what really happened. Cass sees that Dick has doubts, and helps him re-enact the murder so that he can believe in Bruce again. Not only is it a super sweet Dick-Cass moment, but it also shows how Cass believes in Bruce just as much as Bruce believes in Cass.

Good

A short and sweet moment that showcases how similar these two are. Bruce isn't exactly being a good dad here, but Cass genuinely DIDN'T enjoy that vacation. They just get each other. This is one of many, many times that Cass answers one of Bruce's questions perfectly (and makes Bruce smile).

Overprotective Dad Mode

In the second part of Batgirl (2000), Cass begins to explore her sexuality. This leads to issues of varying quality, BUT we do get tons of overprotective Bruce. A nice showcase of Bruce doing typical dad stuff, and Superman looking SO done. Also Cass in that first panel is hilarious.

Realisation

After lots of (rightful) heckling from Babs, Bruce finally realises that the way he's been using and treating Cass isn't right. Though this speech is couched in a lot of dismissive language ('disobedient', 'she was loyal'), I think that's just Bruce's inability to communicate. He cannot admit how much he cares for her. So he decides to fire her and tells her she jeopardises the MISSION (which, obviously, makes Cass feel terrible). Even when he's trying to put her first, his lack of communication skills only hurts her.

He Never Let Me Touch Him

The Bruce and Cass scene to END all Bruce and Cass scenes. Each panel is loaded with meaning. The first shows that despite Bruce's similarities to Cain, he still IS different; he is willing to be vulnerable around her, and allows her to do the same around him. The third panel is particularly interesting. Underneath all the ideological sniping between him and Babs, Bruce is jealous - he wants to be the centre of Cass' life and loyalty. Cass, however, doesn't fall into the trap. By pointing to the Bat, she both affirms her loyalty to his mission but also refuses any box he can put her in. She is his daughter, but she is not only his daughter, and never will be.

Honourable mention: the only reason I didn't put the Father's Day panel here was because I've already written about it. Also the scene where they mutually touch each other's faces and turn away of course!

[pommedepersephone]

Buck up, Hamlet! or how Aziraphale and Crowley's blocking helps communicate the evolution of their relationship

Can we talk about the blocking?

Specifically, I have been rewatching S1E3, one of my favorites. I love how the development of the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley is shown through these little vignettes. There have been some great explorations of the costuming and dialogue, but what always strikes me is the BLOCKING. The way their placement and movements add such depth and tell the story of living as a queer person, having to communicate in coded language.

Through the episode, we get 4500 years of history - Eden, Mesopotamia, Golgatha, Rome and Wessex - to see Aziraphale and Crowley standing on their opposite sides. Aziraphale always on the right, Crowley always on the left. But after the Arrangement, their blocking changes drastically and becomes much more fluid and nuanced. Each scene after this is distinct but the scenes in at the Globe and the Bastille have the most development, and I find myself rewatching them A LOT. Here is what I see. 

All the World's a Stage

This is the first meeting we see that isn’t a chance encounter, though the two try to stage it as such. It takes place in a theatre - and they are acting, playing their roles as demon and angel. Even the humans are complicit in this performance, with Shakespeare stepping in to address the two "in your roles as the audience." Oh, delicious.

But once it's been firmly established for anyone watching that they AREN'T friends, they DON'T know each other (cough cough) the following moves are clearly choreographed and have been played out many times before. Crowley sashays to the right, opening the dance, and Aziraphale accepts the invitation to dance with: “What do you want?” 

“Why ever would you insinuate that I might possibly want something?” Crowley is just playing his role as cheeky demon offering up a temptation - but his position to the right of Aziraphale speaks to the fact that they are both very complicit in this performance.

“You are up to no good.”  “Obviously. And you are up to good, I take it? Lots of good deeds?” Just standard character establishment, here.

“No rest for the, well, good." Ah, this line, the inversion of the well known idiom. Because the line between good and evil (and between angel and demon) maybe aren't so distinct, and Aziraphale acknowledges this with his words. We are moving into negotiations now. "I have to be in Edinburgh at the end of the week. A couple of blessings to do, and a minor miracle to perform. Apparently, I have to ride a horse.”

“Ah hard on the buttocks, horses. Major design flaw, if you ask me. I’m meant to be headed to Edinburgh too this week. Tempting a clan leader to steal some cattle.” The way Crowley moves AROUND Aziraphale here, intimate but also careful, watching for his reactions.

“Doesn’t sound like hard work.” Said with a little sideways look, because Aziraphale can see where this is going. And he's open to suggestion temptation.

“That was why I thought we should�� well, bit of a waste of effort. Both of us going all the way to Scotland.”

“You cannot actually be suggesting what I infer you are implying?” A little bit of pretense, because Aziraphale has to pretend to be tempted, right?

Crowley presses. “Which is?” Because he is willing to play the part of tempting demon, but only if it is clear this is a farce, that this is indeed mutually agreeable. He is making sure they are doing the same dance.

"That one of us goes to Edinburgh and does... both. The blessing and the tempting."

Yes, they are doing the same dance, and what is left is the formality of concluding the dance - a moment of Aziraphale expressing his concern for Crowley, the coin toss - they both know how it ends. It's a ritual, an act of give and take.

But if it were ONLY the Arrangement, a simple quid pro quo, it would have ended there. It doesn't. Instead, the two offer each other a more intimate exchange - "It'd take a miracle to get people to come and see Hamlet."

Aziraphale doesn't even have to ask with words, just a look, and Crowley happily agrees. That is the final part of the dance, a small acknowledgement that this isn't just about making their jobs easier.

A Free Man in Paris

Paris is something else. This is a HUGE step beyond making sure that audiences like a show your angel is particularly fond of. This is a stolen dangerous moment, an OUTRAGEOUS flirtation that takes place outside of time, conducted in clear view of others but beyond their understanding. Isn’t that how their entire relationship is now conducted, hidden in plain view and so clearly affectionate? 

And look, Aziraphale is BITCHY in this scene. Peak That Bitch. He's just purchased a bookshop, he's creating a very permanent place for himself here on earth - Aziraphale is feeling quite proud of himself. In fact, he's preening a bit that he has figured out how to exist, even in some small limited way, as himself within the confines of the system of Heaven. Buuuut he may have gone just a bit too far, and gotten himself in a spot of trouble. He has landed in a prison, threatened with "death" and stuck because he's already gotten a warning about being frivolous with his miracles. Oh jolly good that Crowley is here to save the day!

There is something raw being communicated here here, where both Aziraphale and Crowley are presenting themselves to the world in ways that are dangerous. Aziraphale's reaction tells us that Crowley's look is doing things to him, but also in a way that it is NOT socially appropriate. Aziraphale may have showed up in all the trappings of an English aristocrat, but here is Crowley as a French royal sympathizer. NEITHER of these are safe choices in the middle of a revolution. The costuming is so critical to fully appreciating this scene, so check out the amazing clothing overview with @cobragardens.

When Crowley arrives and stops time, he and Aziraphale find themselves situated facing one another, but angled so they aren’t facing straight on. Interestingly, from Crowley’s perspective, he is where he is supposed to be - the left of Aziraphale. But Aziraphale, from his perspective, is also to the left of Crowley. It was Aziraphale after all who initiated this situation, who put himself in danger by being too… Aziraphale. It’s dangerous to be yourself when you don’t fit into heteronormative social expectations, isn’t it? Still, the two keep up a very flirtatious banter as they discuss the situation, and Crowley maintains his very-intentionally-unbothered sitting position up until Aziraphale goes too far and thanks him for coming to his rescue.

While Crowley is also flirting with danger in the way he is dressed, he also didn't just pop over for a nibble dressed this way. And whatever he might have been up to was interrupted so he could rescue Aziraphale from the consequences of his own reckless authenticity. After removing the chains, Crowley pushes Aziraphale to reconsider his honest expression of himself in this exact place and time - for the sake of survival.

Aziraphale, willing to risk himself alone, rather quickly adopts a more acceptable appearance when it might impact Crowley. It is only after Aziraphale is safely disguised and returned to his proper place to the right of Crowley, ONLY then does Crowley restart time. They can go enjoy lunch now, with the proper precautions and masks in place.

For these two particular human-coded occult beings, this is also such an honest moment. They both showed up damn authentically - Aziraphale so fabulously ostentatious, focused on chasing down some pleasure (in this crepes) and Crowley wrapped in a clear protest against the current violence. Just as Aziraphale indicated with his "Oh good LORD" as he looked the demon up and down with obvious thirst, Crowley's request to Aziraphale to change his appearance and mask better is done in such a way that affirms that Crowley LIKES who Aziraphale is without the mask.

The scene is so playful on the surface, the body language and dialogue flirtatious. It's something so familiar to the queer experience, making light of the absolute danger that we must sometimes navigate just to exist. The more I watch it, the more obsessed I become.

A Spot of Bodysnatchin'

It is worth remembering that we didn't get this scene in S1.

I am going to go through it soon, because again they dance back and forth beautifully in this minisode, but suffice to say we all know... it didn't end well for Crowley.

No Walk in the Park

The moment in St. James Park is brief, and it wasn't until S2 and the meeting at Edinburgh that we got the full context for this meeting. But even without this, we can clearly see that things are weighing heavily on Crowley. The scene in the Bastille took place in a prison, with the threat of execution over their heads. The juxtaposition of this conversation taking place in a park - a place that is not only NOT inherently dangerous but looks lovely and welcoming - only highlights the change in Crowley's attitude. He still attempts to be playful, but he's afraid. Look at that paper, it's a bit crumpled, he's been carrying it around for a while.

They are firmly entrenched on their assigned sides for the entire conversation, both very stiff. It feels uncomfortable to watch. When Aziraphale refuses his request, and indicates whatever is between them is just "fraternizing" with the enemy, we get a glimpse of how fearful Crowley really is. In none of these flashbacks has Crowley ever spoken to Aziraphale with the anger we see here. When they part in anger, it feels wrong.

Take Me to Church

So there is a long break between meetings now. But then, ah, the church. The place Aziraphale realizes his feelings. (Look, if Michael says this is where Aziraphale realized he'd fallen in love, I am not here to argue.) What I love is that again we see Crowley and Aziraphale swapping sides. Crowley is here to save his wayward angel, AGAIN. Despite feeling the ill effects of walking on consecrated ground, Crowley is here to save his angel and defeat Nazis. It's definitely not remotely evil intentions.

It isn't like the Bastille, but some of the parallels exist - Aziraphale failing to grasp the risks of his actions. And the silliness of his little dance coupled with just how deadly serious this situation is harks back to their flirtations in the prison.

Crowley is to the right of Aziraphale from the time he arrives until the bomb drops. Then in the rubble, with the danger past, we see them on their assigned sides again. UNTIL Crowley hands Aziraphale the books he saved with a "little demonic miracle of my own." He then crosses Aziraphale, and we see the look of absolute adoration as the angel watches him walk away to the right.

Sweeeeeet baby Jesus, baby girl has it BAD.

Always Crashing in the Same Car

This extremely heartbreaking scene has been dissected, chewed over, breaking our little hearts with it's sharp pieces.

But it is purposeful that this scene took place in the Bentley. Being in the car is symbolic because Aziraphale is here making an offering to Crowley, in his space, something that he Aziraphale feels is WRONG which is highlighted by his placement to the left of Crowley. He is scared, acting against all his own desires, but he does it anyway because he cares for Crowley. It's simple, powerful placement. Need to hurt more? Yeah, thought so. Take a deeper look at the dialogue with @zionworkzs.

[vamphorica]

MellodraMattic and Queerness: An Essay

Before I begin, I need to make it clear that my thoughts on this subject are directly inspired by this post by overkeehl. I not only recommend but insist that you read it before continuing, as I am going to be exploring a small component of the greater idea that they have already established. Essentially, I am taking the idea of Mello's character being queer-coded and developing it in regards to how MellodraMattic becomes a very validating ship in the context of marginalised sexual and gender identities.

I am also going to touch on internalised queerphobia, so consider this as a warning if that's not something you fancy reading about.

Anyway.

Mello is a distinctly queer character. I don't say this from an entirely projective approach because I think there are plenty of examples throughout Death Note where Mello's visual presentation and characterisation signifies it. His androgyny is the most explicit indicator of nonconformity in relation to traditional gender expression. I fondly remember when I first read Death Note, aged ten, and was convinced that Mello was a girl for several pages. Suffice to say, Mello's appearance is rather ambiguous, making him an adaptable character for one to project queerness onto. We will go into more depth on this later on.

It is also worth mentioning that Mello's style is quite camp. I love the way he dresses and only wish I had the confidence to pull off his outfits, but they are also very ridiculous and inconvenient. One of my Top 10 Mello Moments Ever is when he tails Mogi and Misa, wearing this:

Those sunglasses are doing absolutely nothing to keep him out of sight, but I appreciate the fact that he obviously thinks otherwise. He simply must serve cunt to the detriment of the task at hand.

If I have not convinced you that his style alone is a good hint that he is a queer character, even in the most general sense of the term, there's plenty within Mello's character context that isn't exactly subtle in how he is portrayed as evidently nonconformist. I do think you have to be careful not to equate certain traits with queerness when it may not be appropriate to do so (after all, there's many characteristics relating to neurodiversity that can be identified in those who originated from Wammy's House, and while I won't get into the whole discussion about the overlap there because it's not my place to do so, I also think it would be an interesting subject to explore).

However, it is completely understandable why a lot of queer people see themselves in Mello. As a child, around the age that I think many begin to explore their sense of self, Mello's identity is ultimately threatened by L's death. He is confronted by the prospect of working with (accepting) Near in order to catch Kira. Instead, he runs away, and the narrative that follows is of a man tied up in complex feelings relating to his identity as a 'runner-up'. To put it simply, it conveys queer grief very well — Mello struggles with the fact that who he is as an individual does not align with the expectation that Wammy's House instilled in him from a young age. Similarly, some queer people may find that they must contend with accepting an identity they had been discouraged from exploring as children.

I think for many queer people seeing themselves in Mello, this sense of shame that can be identified as internalised homophobia or transphobia is unfortunately a common experience. It can take a long time to recognise, let alone challenge the societal standards that have been deemed 'normal' or 'correct'. Mello encapsulates this disconnect well in the sense that his goal to defeat Near as a means to prove himself as a worthy successor to L is doomed from the beginning. He was never meant to be the one to become L, and yet he runs straight to his demise in his desperation to receive recognition from an institution that he could never succeed within. I am not suggesting that all queer people go through this level of intense self denial when exploring their identities, but I think it ought to be appreciated that through Mello, there are a plenty of parallels that reflect the complexities of discovering your sexuality and gender identity.

Additionally, if you'll excuse me posting two rather grim examples of objectification in the manga, it is worth noting that Mello, in close proximity to two naked women, does not seem remotely interested in their bodies, which might suggest a queer identity on a very shallow level. I do think, given how misogynistic almost all the male (and some of the female) characters in Death Note can be, Mello is notable in the sense that he doesn't actively discriminate against the female characters. He treats both genders like shit. Feminist icon.

Mello is very easy to project an assortment of queer identities onto. For what it's worth, I headcanon him as bisexual and FtM, but I know you are not reading this essay for my personal projections. You can consider Mello as MtF, asexual, gay, nonbinary — all of these identities can easily be validated within the canon context because Mello is so versatile while still being a developed and nuanced character. His story mirrors so much of the struggle that queer people contend with, and while I think it is a massive shame that it isn't resolved, I think that in itself only exemplifies the complicated nature of identity.

So, where does Matt come into all of this?

It is important to remember that Matt as a character was created for Mello. In the main series, it isn't even mentioned that Matt is a Wammy's kid, this information only being revealed in 'Death Note 13: How to Read'. However, this is crucial knowledge because it conveys the very essence of what makes MellodraMattic so great.

I love Mello, I really do, but he is cruel and selfish, in addition to being arguably one of the most dangerous characters in the series. For those who might relate to him for any of the reasons I have given thus far, it is still important to understand that Mello is not a decent person. He is deeply flawed, and as much as I like to joke that his crimes are perfectly fine actually, I can still appreciate that he is not meant to be regarded as an 'good' character, even if he is on the right side as far as Kira is concerned. His behaviour is very much correlated with his sense of inferiority, so in this case, his identity struggles do not excuse his behaviour, but they can explain it.

Yet, despite all of this, Matt remains by his side, regardless. While there's a general consensus that the two were separated for some time after Mello ran away, they eventually reunite and work together. In these brief moments, we can still gain a good insight into their relationship dynamic from the way they speak to one another. For instance, Matt is cheeky in a manner that the reader would not expect Mello to tolerate. Yet the patience in how he responds to Matt's insolence almost appears uncharacteristic. I am of the belief that Mello is not a highly reactionary character, despite how the series tries to portray him as such, and this calm composure he is capable of can best be seen through his interactions with Matt.

There is a real familiarity between the two men that I don't think is comparable to any other relationship in Death Note. For example, in the image below, Matt is complaining about a task Mello has assigned him, one that isn't exactly difficult, and yet he's already distracted. Rather than get frustrated, a response we would expect from Mello, he answers Matt gently.

I appreciate these moments are few and far between (for fuck's sake, there's only two panels that feature the both of them) but I don't think I'm reading into it too much. I think they're genuinely suited for each other, which is, of course, because Matt was written for Mello. Their chemistry is dependent on the latter canonically.

Matt brings out the more approachable side of Mello because Mello does not see Matt as a threat that he must remain guarded around. If we as readers have become acquainted with Mello through his act of cruelty, albeit as a means of survival, we must assume Matt is familiar with this side of Mello, too. However, it doesn't deter Matt, nor does it scare him. Matt is completely loyal to the very end, and while such writing is perhaps a little superficial, I think it does emphasise the point that Mello has someone who will put his life on the line for him and God, I don't know. I think you have to read that as love to at least some extent.

Mello is a complicated character, with plenty of attributes suggesting that he is queer. This only further contributed to his plot line that centres an identity struggle, which speaks to those who fall outside of cishetnormativity. Unable to reconcile his sense of self with the expectations placed upon him, Mello becomes ruthless. Yet, in spite of these flaws, he has Matt. He represents a kind of hope, I think, that those who connect to Mello through his queerness and subsequent struggles can gravitate towards. A hope that there's someone who will accept every aspect of your identity regardless, that there will be someone you can be yourself around.

To me, MellodraMattic is my favourite ship because I love Mello and Matt, and the way in which they interact with one another. It is also that initial identification with Mello, that makes Matt's character and their relationship more meaningful, an example of the fact that there'll always be someone who not only accepts, but loves you, regardless of the mess.

I think that's beautiful. 🍫🎮

[feyhunter78]

Pink Pastels Pt 16

Description: Miguel and Gabi have a much needed talk.

Part 17

Miguel and Gabi walk you back next door. He watches as you give her a tight hug, whispering platitudes in her ear before you let go. You then brush your lips across her forehead and giving him a small smile, then the door to your apartment is closed and Gabi starts to cry once more.

Miguel scoops her up, cradling her to his chest, her arms wrapped around his neck, her tears wetting his shirt as she sobs. He misses holding her like this, when she was a baby she clung to him constantly, crying if he put her down for even a second. Then she grew older and became so curious about everything, she wanted to be on the ground, have the freedom to run and play and explore the world around her.

He’s proud of her for being so courageous, so adventurous it reminds him of a younger him, before he became Spiderman, before he lost his original universe and searched the multiverse desperately for a new one. But he’s forgotten that courage takes a lot of strength, and obviously Gabi has been running on empty for a while.

“Gabi, Mija, I’m sorry.” He says, settling on their couch and squeezing her tightly.

“Why are you sorry?” She asks, looking up at him with those big round eyes.

He can’t explain how much he loves his daughter; he’s tried a million times to verbalize the depth of his emotions and finds he always comes up short. So he’s come to the conclusion that it’s simple. He loves her beyond words.

“I didn’t notice you heard my call with your mother, and then I continued to fail to see how it hurt you, and I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to feel all that sadness on your own.” He shifts her, so she’s facing him, and brushes back the hair from her face, it’s like his mother’s hair. He’ll have to call her, ask her how she’s doing, if she wants to see him and Gabi sometime soon.

She snuggles into him, her tears slowly drying. “It’s okay, Papá, I’m strong.”

He swallows hard, tears pricking at the back of his eyes.

“Mijo you shouldn’t have done that, you know your father; he gets angry.”

“But Mamá it’s not fair he shouldn’t treat you like that.”

“It’s better me than you or Gabriel, I’m strong Miguel, I can take it.”

He fears he’s going to wretch, and he takes a deep breath counting ten things he can see, he can feel, hear, smell, until his heart rate has slowed, and the nausea is gone.

“You are strong, but you are also little—”

She goes to protest, and he stops her with a playfully stern look that makes her giggle.

“You are my baby girl, my daughter, you are not alone, you will never be alone, you don’t have to be strong all by yourself, especially not when you’re sad.”

Gabi mulls over his words, fidgeting with the little watch he made for her. “But I want to be strong like you.”

“Mija, I am strong because of you. Because I love you so very much, and I want to make sure the world is safe for you.” He tells her, praying that she understands how earnestly he’s speaking.

She nods and wraps her arms around as much of his torso as she can. “I love you, Papá, and I promise I’ll tell you next time I’m sad.”

He returns her hug, resting his chin on the crown of her head. “I love you more than you can imagine, Mija.”

He makes a mental note to make sure Lyla saves this video file, adding it to the hundreds upon hundreds of clips he has saved of Gabi. He’ll never have enough, never get enough time with her, but here in this moment he feels like everything he’s done, everything he’s been through and suffered was worth it.

“I think Ms. Y/N saw my superpowers.” Gabi says hesitantly, her voice muffled by his chest.

He pulls back, scanning her face. “What?”

“I got mad, and I threw my doll, and now the wall is broken.” She says as she leads him into her room.

Miguel’s mind is turning, churning, roiling. You know he’s Spiderman, as of last night, but he hasn’t been able to go through it with you to explain what happened, or to tell you how Gabi might have developed a lesser version of his abilities and was just now coming into her powers.

He inspects the wall. It’s a small dent, but clearly in the shape of a doll. He can fix it, he’s picked up a number of skills during his time in the multiverse, but he isn’t sure how you’re going to react to the truth.

“What did Ms. Y/N say when this happened?” He asks carefully, running calculations in his head of how much damage control he was going to have to do. You’re a reader, he knows this. Maybe he’ll hack into your laptop and see what kind of books you like. Buy you a first edition of your favorite book, or see if there’s any erotica, you’re fond of that he can read and put to good use to distract you.

Gabi’s brushing her doll Carmen’s hair in rapid jerky strokes, something she did when she was nervous. “Nothing, she just kept playing with me. Well…she seemed a little…tomada por sorpresa.” Trsl: take/taken by surprise.

He smiled at her lapse into Spanish. Gabi spoke both languages fluently, but he noticed a year or so ago that she’d picked up a quirk from him. They both tended to fall back on his first language whenever they were nervous or overwhelmed with emotions.

“Ah, well, Ms. Y/N just found out I was Spiderman last night.” He’s taking a gamble, telling her this. He knows Gabi can keep a secret, she’s been keeping theirs since she was little, but now that you’re involved, he isn’t sure how she’s going to react.

Gabi nods. “Well, that’s okay because you’re going to get married, and married people have to keep each other’s secrets, that’s what Auntie Monica said.”

His half-sister would say something like that…

“She is right, married people do keep each other’s secrets, but Gabi, Ms. Y/N have only known each other for a little while now, not even half a year. Most people like to know each other for at least a year before they get married.”

Gabi sets down her doll and her lips tick to one side in thought. “Yeah, I guess you should wait until the year is done, because if you marry her, then they might move me out of her class. Kids don’t get to be in their mom’s classes, apparently, it’s called a conflict of interest, but I just think it’s because then they’ll be the favorite. But I’m already Ms. Y/N’s favorite, so I don’t think it’ll be any different.”

Miguel laughs, he doesn’t mean to, but that’s his daughter, thinking three steps ahead while still attempting to get what she wants.

“It’s true!” Gabi pouts. “She’s still wearing the necklace we gave her!”

Yes, you are, and he is so thankful for that fact.

“You’re right, Mija, she is.”

She gives him a smug, satisfied ‘I told you so’ smile and begins to clean up her toys. “I bet if you asked her on a date, she’d say yes.”

“I think Ms. Y/N would say yes, but her job is very important to her, so she wouldn’t agree to go out with me until the year was finished.”

“So, you’ll just have to go on secret dates like in the telenovelas, me and Tia Margo watch.” Gabi says, nodding her head knowingly, as if this had been his plan all along, and she was just now catching on.

He pinches the bridge of his nose, a half exasperated, half amused smile on his face. “No more telenovelas for you, they’re giving you too many crazy ideas.”

Gabi throws herself into his lap dramatically. “No Papá, but I need them to live, they’re the only thing keeping my secret half-sister maybe actually my cousin alive.”

He laughs again and shakes his head, scooping her up and holding her above his head, making her giggle. “But I do not, for I am the evil tio and I want your half-sister maybe cousin gone, so I can steal her inheritance.”

“¡Monstruo!” Gabi gasps, her face an exaggerated look of horror and surprise. Trsl: You monster!

“Yes, I am an evil monster who says now it is time to go to bed, so you can wake up and have a good day at school tomorrow.”

Gabi wrinkles her nose, but nods, and he sets her back down. She throws her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder. “I love you, Papá.”

He hugs her back. “I love you too, Mija.”

If you haven't seen my answer to an ask, I will be going on vacay for 10 daysss, but I'll be back and will be picking this fic up once I return, so don't worry! I'm not abandoning it!!!!

Tag list: @miggyoharaswife, @badbishsblog, @imisshim2much, @wanderlustingcastaway, @lynn-9703, @sleepyamaya, @erensbbg, @sweetea85, @ilovemiguelohara, @natthernandez, @stxrrielle, @ihateuguys, @jenniferdixon05207, @blep-23, @luvisaaxoxo, @minimari415, @emerald-09, @violet-19999, @kenchosaikuo, @groovycass, @youcantseem3, @lovefks, @nightshxdex, @dusstory, @aesniri, @munsonssecretblog, @kirke-is-my-name, @starbearieee, @chatoicboy, @act1839, @needsleep3000, @totally-not-georgia, @witchy-lizard, @cxmeiloorun7, @justrandomlolidk, @chimpkinnuggies, @alicefallsintotherabbithole, @loser-alert, @wwwellacom, @ryantryan6969, @lollipopin, @blakeaha, @youcantseem3, @a-cult-leader, @verexi, @purpleskiesandroses, @they2luv1naia, @sophiaj650, @idolautism, @rheannajrs, @merakiq, @rexs-wife, @sukaretto-n, @twilight-loveer, @f1shb0nez, @callsign-blue, @marcelineormars

[monkeyzilla]

CAN I RANT ABOUT KEN SATO??? AM I ALLOWED TO? BECAUSE I WILL. ALSO LMK IF I GET DETAILS WRONG!!! LMAO!! I watched the film like 4 times I don’t think I should have missed out on anything or gotten anything wrong but if I do let me know I’m not good at writing shit like this😭

I wanted to talk about the themes of “balancing” mixed cultural identity being kinda hinted at bc it’s something I immediately picked up as an Asian living in a western country. I’m not even gonna say it’s an “interpretation” because I feel like it was quite obviously hinted at would be pretty easy to pick up for anyone that has a similar experience as mine.

In that first interview with Ami, Ken stated that people made fun of him for the way he looked, talked and behaved when he first moved to the US. Since he was born and raised in Japan for a bit, he kept most of that culture that he grew up suffered by with him and got alienated for being too Japanese or not white enough. It’s a really negative experience that I think most people, me included can relate to because you can’t control the fact that you have a particular ethnic background, or that you look a certain way.

But like I also think living in the US for a significant amount of time has also influenced the way he thinks and talks too, the press conference scene stands out with him repeatedly saying bro, as well as the baseball match where he got mocked and told that he should just “go back to America”. It’s kinda clear for most of the film that he’s “not Japanese” enough too.

It’s a difficult situation because on one hand he’s “too Japanese” in America but not “Japanese enough” in his home country. There’s this feeling that there’s no pleasing anyone here! So I believe to avoid having to “balance” his American and Japanese identity, he does things “his own way”. Or “giving the people something else to talk about” in his own words. At least that’s how I’ve interpreted it, idk if I’m stretching or yapping too much.

Him doing things the “Ken Sato” way is a kinda funny excuse for him to do whatever he wants, but I also think it’s just an excuse to avoid sticking to one “culture” (identity), because he can’t. Going back to the the first one-on-one interview with Ami, she points out that he’s eating noodles the “wrong way” and while it is just one single action, to me it seems representative of Ken’s behaviour as a whole when being confronted about tradition or culture. Am I wording that right? I’m not good at articulating complicated thoughts because I have A LOT!! It’s just difficult to type it out.

I just think the inclusion of all of these seemingly insignificant scenes makes Ken’s character seven more meaningful as a someone who’s Asian-Australian because I relate to it so much!! I just wanted to share my own thoughts and feelings about this movie and the little themes it hints at bc I don’t know any other big animated film that mentions this kinda experience😭 I’m not sure if Ken’s experience with his heritage/identity was intentional or not but it seems hinted at enough for it to be a purposeful inclusion, at least that’s how I see it.

I do wish they could’ve explored it a bit more in depth, maybe showing Ken’s life in America a lot more because I doubt they’d go back to it in the possible sequel, but I’m happy nonetheless because I feel really seen when I watch Kenji talk about his own experience. Sorry for yapping too much omfg

[graceshouldwrite]

How to Write Political Intrigue (with book recs)

POLITICAL INTRIGUE! Intrigue in general! What is it?

For the purposes of this post (as well as how it's usually used in the writing/reading community), think: scheming. Plotting. Conspiracies in the shadows, bids for power and survival, secret plans, masterful illusions, all of that stuff.

It could be on any scale that you'd like, from a duel of wits (think Light's and L's game of cat and mouse in Death Note)

...to a large-scale plot involving entire countries and their people (like any espionage networks during any major wars, such as the American Revolutionary War to World War II, and so many more)

...or even medium-sized conflicts (families, like in The Godfather, or smaller national disturbances like the Watergate scandal).

Below are 4 core tips on how you can successfully write (political) intrigue plots:

1. Read + Research

Despite how hard it may sound, it's actually pretty easy to craft a realistic yet thrilling intrigue plot—with so many examples in real life and fiction, you can easily base your plot on an existing one and just change a few things like the characters, setting, and maybe a few plot points.

History and current events are always great places to look to, but here are some books that are chock-full of great politics + intrigue:

Leviathan (Thomas Hobbes): one of the most famous treatises of politics + human nature and their intersection. The book is an in-depth exploration of human nature, government, politics, and all of the root causes of why they exist. While it does take a specific philosophical angle (you might not agree with Hobbes' ideas), they are detailed explanations of how things work + why they are required from one perspective.

48 Laws of Power (Robert Greene): GREAT BOOK for helping you plan out the means by which you want the intrigue to happen. There are lots of simplified rules that tell you why people plan and scheme (e.g. "control the options; get others to play the cards you deal," or "pose as a friend, work as a spy"). There are LOTS of really great small stories of when a rule is applied in real life that are also general plot inspo!

The Godfather (Mario Puzo): very very good, intricate, and more emotional because it deals with the intrigue surrounding families

Joseph Fouché: Portrait of a Politician (Stefan Zweig) (biography): Fouché is absolutely insane. A genius at political intrigue. His life is literally one of the craziest stories of scheming, betrayals, survival, and a general vying for power, especially behind the scenes.

The Prince (Machiavelli): obviously, I can't leave out the original tips + tricks book with explanations of WHY intrigue matters as a means, especially in terms of protecting your power.

Trust Me, I'm Lying (Ryan Holladay): a large part of intrigue plots (you need to cover up the actual game you're playing) is the manipulation of information, creating illusions and spectacles for other people to believe. This book goes in-depth about media manipulation and information wars.

Empire of Pain (Patrick Raden Keefe): takes a rather different angle, through the personal/corporate manipulation of government, as well as how wealth dynasties (especially within families) are established. Remember the opioid crisis? This book explores the generational politics of money and power that led up to that.

Prince of Thorns (Mark Lawrence): Look! Fiction! Anyway, I'm biased because it's one of my favourite works of fiction of all time, but it explores political intrigue not only through an actor participating in it, but through the lens of the common folk. I.e., the consequences all that power play has on the populace due to a lack of actual good governance...

A Song of Ice and Fire (George R. R. Martin): I haven't personally read/watched anything GoT, but it's pretty much obligatory to put this series down in a post about political intrigue. It's famous for doing it well.

2. Plan. Like, meticulously

First of all, decide what scale you want your intrigue to be on: large-scale government/international affairs type, a corporation thing, something between two people, or even within a family? There are so many possibilities.

Intrigue plots are like mysteries; they must be tightly logical to be satisfying. One of the best ways of ensuring this is through analyzing each involved party—the actors.

Each actor has their own motivations, goals, and psychologies. After you establish what they want OUT of their intrigue, think about how they'd go about achieving it: a naturally hot-headed person might try to intimidate their way into getting what they want, or they might learn through the course of the story to cool down a bit.

A naturally imaginative and analytical person might come up with all sorts of scarily genius plans, and near-flawless execution. Of course, they would also react in different ways, depending on personality. Character consistency alone will make your plot seem that much more logical.

However, cracks in logic will happen because humans are inherently imperfect and not always rational. These cracks must be DELIBERATE and realistic and must seem planned out; they can't seem more like the author forgot a detail, or didn't know how to explain something (e.g. something happened and the writer never included the consequence of it because they forgot). It must be clear that it is a flaw on the character's part.

3. Never write intrigue for the sake of the intrigue

The incentive of all scheming comes down to mainly two things: gaining power and keeping it. Of course, you could choose to explore more unusual things, such as characters exercising intrigue to satisfy boredom... (think Light and Ryuk from Death Note).

But, the bids for power, security, and survival can be used to highlight things about human nature. Themes to explore include ambition, sacrifice, the pursuit of happiness, the corruption of character, the preservation of innocence in a cruel system, etc.

4. Explore through a narrow lens

Most intrigue plots are full of complex motivations, characters, goals, and the means they use to achieve said goals.

You should gradually let your intrigue plot unfold through the POV of a few characters, preferably one or two. An omniscient narrator for this type of story is INCREDIBLY difficult to pull off without confusing the reader.

However, more POVs work if you use all of them to focus on ONE or a few intrigue plots only—it can provide a multi-layered effect, exploring the same line of action and consequence through different perspectives. But, if everyone has their own intrigue plot, it's too easy to create a tangled mess where readers can barely delineate one plot from the next.

∘₊✧────── ☾☼☽ ──────✧₊∘

instagram: @ grace_should_write

Sorry for the massive hiatus—I have officially started college!! I've been pre-occupied with settling in, classes starting, a social life, extracurriculars etc. etc...life has been super busy, but great :)

I've started working on my books as well as poetry more recently, and I'm glad I'm getting into a new workflow/lifestyle. It certainly is different, but I'm starting to enjoy it.

Anyway, I'm surprised it took me this long to do a post about this topic, considering the fact that it's basically my writergram niche and my entire personality IRL, but I think it was mainly because I was trying to find a good angle to approach this massive topic. But, stay tuned for (probably) a part 2 because there's SO MUCH MORE to cover.

Hope this was helpful, and let me know if you have any questions by commenting, re-blogging, or DMing me on IG. Any and all engagement is appreciated :)

Happy writing, and have a great day!

- grace <3

[anodymalion]

ok I am in fact using this as an excuse to make a long post about this thank you thank you asjksdjfaljdf

---

Interpreting Yuri as asexual is my very very favorite type of headcanon, which is one that 1. is compellingly coded in the source material (even if that wasn't the creator's intent), 2. is thematically relevant to what the piece of media is Trying To Do as a whole, and 3. just means a lot to me, personally, because I said so.

Coded in the source material

Yuri’s short program is “eros”, aka desire (you can interpret what “eros” means in various ways, but YOI itself explicitly refers to sexual love, at least in the English translations). Yuri struggles with this. Hard. He can’t come up with an answer when asked what eros means to him. His big revelatory moment about desire is that it’s how he feels about wanting to eat his favorite food (omg… boy). Even as the season goes on and the way he views the Eros program changes, the program doesn’t ever really embody the idea of eros as sexuality or romance (which was how the other characters expect him to interpret it) but rather as a desire to keep Victor in his life.

Like look. I’m obviously not going to say that the creator intended any kind of ace subtext to be there. I kind of doubt it was her intent. But goddamn is the subtext there.

2. Thematic relevance

The central theme throughout YOI is “love”, and especially loving people in a way that inspires you both to be your best selves: Yuri learning that the people in his life truly love and support him; Victor finding someone who makes him feel joy about skating again.

Like, Yuri’s whole skating theme for the Grand Prix is literally about him exploring what love looks like to him, even when it takes a form that other people don’t totally understand. Viewing all this through a lens of him being ace is really compelling. It adds depth to the idea of learning how to express the way you feel love even when it looks different than what other people expect. I think it’s a really delicious layer that adds even more nuance to what the show is getting at.

Besides, it’s an interesting way of viewing the criticism of the show that occurred for it not being 100% explicit about them being a couple (aka people getting mad because the kiss in ep 7 is blocked by Victor’s arm lmaooo). Like, ok, did you see the ending scene of ep 9? Did you see ep 10??? They definitely, definitely love each other, in whatever way that means for them. Their relationship takes a form that’s pretty different than the other way people in the show are going about romantic relationships, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real for them. That is very much in line with the main themes of the show.

3. Means a lot to me

In the final scene of the penultimate episode, Yuri tells Victor that they should end their coaching relationship after the Grand Prix ends. This is because he thinks he’s holding Victor back, that Victor would be happier being free to go back to skating on his own instead of being Yuri’s coach. When I watched this (and, I’ll be honest, this is completely me projecting here) I REALLY interpreted this as an ace thing. I think it’s pretty easy to internalize the idea when you’re asexual that you just won’t be… enough, for other people. In my case I ended up a strong impulse to self-sabotage relationships because I would rather be the one to end things than to let someone else tell me that who I am as a person is fundamentally lacking. Yuri destroying a connection he desperately wants because he thinks there’s something about him that is holding Victor back from a life he’d be truly happy with? Oh yeah. I can fucking relate to that.

Also: YOI came out in 2016, which was the absolute peak of hostility to ace people I was seeing on this site. It was bad here. At the same time Tumblr was going wild over this show. Everyone was watching it. Seeing a whole site of people absolutely adore a character I very deeply in my heart believed to be ace? Extremely vindicating.

---

In conclusion Yuri is asexual because it is fun and interesting that way, and also because of this:

[redbatchedcumbermayned]

"I didn’t even know that there was the possibility of a romance option when voicing Heinrix" - Interviewing Chris Tester part 2

We're continuing our interview with Chris Tester, the voice of Heinrix van Calox in Owlcat's CRPG Rogue Trader. In this part we speak about insights into Heinrix's character, how the process of recording voice lines for a video game works, if Chris would romance Heinrix in game, and interacting with his fans.

Part 1 of the interview

Part 3 of the interview

I will publish this interview in three parts over the next week in text form and with the accompanying audio file (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.

F: So, you already talked a bit about Heinrix as a character. What drew you to the character or what hidden depth did you find in the character?

CT: Well, I hope I found some depth to the character. That contrast between principles or values that you seem to be holding onto and lots of unprocessed trauma going on underneath. Sure, that seems interesting, that seems like a really interesting thing to find. Because you can understand, therefore, the appeal of an ideology, which gives you the answers and it tells you what to do. Essentially, it gives you a role, authority, it gives you status, you completely understand the appeal of that. Just like I find voice-over incredibly appealing and exciting: it gives me structure and authority and the illusion that I know what I'm talking about and what I'm doing. 

And then there's the flip side: you could make him heretical in some way, shape or form. And you know, I love, obviously, the fact that he belongs to part of that world which I'm sort of familiar with. Where a lot of the more interesting characters are the ones that have disavowed this God Emperor kind of like status in one way or the other, they tend to have a little bit more going on. They're not two-dimensional villains, not all of them, not all of the time anyway. Whereas on the one hand he's not going full chaos, there was just an interesting tension there to explore. Also, it kind of reminded me a little bit of the Eisenhorn series, which again, it's an Inquisitor that through his pursuit of different things starts to question and use the powers of the warp for his own purposes. A very different character, but still, there are those parallels that I really liked, that fallibility, that vulnerability to a degree, but I wouldn't say too much because I didn't really know how vulnerable or how much of a journey he was going to have in the early stages. I didn't know that until we were recording, I'll be honest. 

And I didn’t even know that there was the possibility of a romance option, until we were like: Oh, these are romancing lines. And I was like, you what now? So, sorry, I appear to be saying some quite forward things, from his point of view anyway, that's slightly taken me aback. They were like: oh yeah, you're romanceable, you can have a romance. I was like, oh, okay, right. I'll just think back to the five hours or so of recording that we've done up to this point and pray that I've made the right choices. So that was a bit of a crazy ride, but thanks to Olga, the writer of my character, she gave really astute directions. She wasn't in all of the sessions, but the majority, especially when there were big plot beats to explain to me what the hell was going on, however, roughly. She was great. And also the technicians at 3B. I was working with a lot of different members of the group technicians slash directors as well. And they were great in terms of giving me not exactly the bare minimum details, but the bare minimum details that I needed in order to be able to make choices quickly, but strongly and relevant to the game. So yeah, it was quite a trip.

F: Thank you. Since you have been trained as a stage actor do you bring a certain physicality to voice acting? If you embody Heinrix, do you puff your chest? Are you rigid?

CT: Definitely. I think there's the reason why rather than having a small booth, I record in a room is, that I can explore those dynamics as much as possible. And the fact that I was able to record standing and very upright and taking that space was vitally important. Obviously, there's the action stuff that really helps when you're actually making fighting noises. That's one thing. But I think in terms of real subtle differences to be able to, as well as mic proximity when he's speaking under his breath and that kind of thing, that's obviously incredibly vital, but even the subtle things of being able to have that big open physicality because he is so often so imperious because he thinks he's absolutely right. That was a vital aspect to explore and just being able to be upright and expressive in that made such a huge difference. 

And also when, without wanting to give too much away, he's in more constricted circumstances, shall we say, trying to do that just purely through the voice means that it all becomes about the sound that you're making as opposed to the truth of the character's journey without wanting to be, again, too much of a cliche, but focusing on that rather than am I making the right gurgling noise?

F: Were you offered any other character to audition for Owlcat? Or if you could, which other character would you like to voice?

CT: I couldn't say any of the other characters. I do play a couple of NPCs randomly. I think before even I had Heinrix. There's some cockney London geezer in there that is immediately disposable. That was me. That was my kind of guaranteed role. I was like, great, fantastic, because I did the audition for Heinrix and then there was quite a few months before it was actually kind of confirmed. I thought the role had gone to somebody else. As with many of these things, you just don't hear back. If you don't hear back, you just assume it's dead and then suddenly it'll come back up or it won't or you'll see another voice actor posting on Instagram going “amazing session” and you slightly die inside and then you move on. 

But in terms of the other characters, I mean, I've met, at least digitally online, the vast majority of the principal companion cast and they're all lovely and amazing and I associate them with their performances. For better or worse, Heinrix is very much my kind of casting and I loved it. Not because he's pretty in a particularly posh kind of way, but that helps. Sure, I'll go with that kind of slightly emotionally constipated. I'm very well cast, very well done, but I think so is everybody else. Throughout the entire game, it's a bit of a who's who, they might not be all household names, but in terms of for myself, the actors that I know in some big parts and some really small parts, the actors that I know in the UK and in the U.S. voice-over scene, so much talent, so that it was just an honour to be included in that really.

F: So now I have to ask you a question from our discord server. Would you romance Heinrix if you were playing a female Rogue Trader? 

CT: I think that would be a bit weird. No, I'll just watch videos of other people romancing him slash me. Is that more or less weird? I mean, I'm 42 years old. I've spent far too much time playing with myself already. So, let's just draw a line under that, but other people are welcome to. That's absolutely fine. My only thing, without wanting to overstate it too much, is that I was very surprised that there was anything around any character that I've been related to but as with so many of the other companions as well, that's a testament to the writing. Credit to the whole Owlcat team in that respect.

F: Would you like to continue working with Owlcat in the future in another capacity?

CT: Oh, God. Yeah. They've not made me sign an NDA, so I can say, not name a thing, but there's DLC for one of their other titles, which I'm going to be in, and that's in a completely different world. There's that thing of once you've had one really positive experience with the developer and the type of games that they create. The ones that are very story focused, that's the type of games that I'm passionate about. I was brought up on these things like the Mass Effect Trilogy. You know, that absolutely iconic kind of stuff, and so to be a part of someone else's experience to facilitate that kind of longer storytelling stuff is exactly what I would be after. They've got a great process, amazing writers and I also think that the games themselves look fantastic. So yeah, I'm a fan of that.

F: So your fan base has certainly expanded since the release of the game. Do you mind having a female fan base now? Have you noticed that there is a bit of a shift because Warhammer 40k for the totally uninitiated looks like a male hobby and unfortunately some part of the male fans are very aggressive against female fans.

CT: Are absolutely ridiculous. Idiots, essentially. Because my relationship to the whole Warhammer 40k thing is like, I played it when I was really young, and then you put away your childish things. I'm saying that in inverted commas, that's kind of ironic or whatever, and then didn't really get back into it until someone gave me a book and I realised that the lore was actually quite good, quite interesting, and then actually really good and really interesting, and I therefore have done some novels for them and a couple of video games as well. 

But to your question, do I mind? No, of course I don't mind. I'm very happily married and well adjusted, so I definitely don't mind as long as it's all respectful, if that makes sense. Surprise, surprise, female fans seem to conduct themselves with that level of respect or if there is a server which is going into crazy, crazy character scenarios and that kind of stuff, no one's sending me a link to that. And even if it is, it's the character, it's not me, and so that's all quite healthy and good. And I think I'm definitely not in a position where I should be censoring any of that kind of thing at all. I think it's all positive and very, very healthy and everybody that I've interacted with has been incredibly respectful. So, I think that's great. 

And I think being able to portray these characters that offer that level of connection is great. We're in a post Baldur's Gate world, I suppose. Not that there weren't other games that did this, but on that scale and everything. I think the value that the games can offer in that. Rogue Trader is hugely valuable and I definitely wouldn't want to censure any of that at all.

F: Yeah, it was nice. I reconnected a lot with people who have this fandom experience again that I had in the Eddie Redmayne fandom more than 10 years ago when it was small, when you have a rather small group of fans and then a very nice person that you're a fan of, and you can interact with.

CT: So people have contacted me via Cameo, for example. And, you know, they've had a certain particular playthrough and then they say, well, I would like you to voice this letter from Heinrix or whatever.

F: That was me.

CT: There have been more than just you is what I'm saying, but sorry, not to say that I'm a whore and I'll just do anything, but you're not the only person who has come to me with that kind of thing. And that's great. That's a pleasure, because it's continuing to tell the story on a wider scale. But also the fact that you can personalise and make it your own. And that's the brilliant thing. 

That's part of the whole appeal of a video game, as opposed to it being a theatre piece or a film or something else is that it was very much your experience, your playthrough. You can have multiple versions of the thing that you kind of like one but you can really structure your own narrative. And that's a fascinating thing. You get to iterate on it yourself. You know, if one stage of that is also being able to call upon the voice actor to facilitate that, I think that's a cool thing, you know, as long as it doesn't get too weird or too whatever, but you know, whatever two consenting adults want to exchange money for or time, great, fine. I think that's less weird than getting an AI to do it personally. I think that level of storytelling is a great thing.

[saintsenara]

if you are still doing ship game, thoughts on jily?

thank you very much, anon - i am always taking questions both on romantic ships and on characters' platonic vibes, the more unhinged the better.

although jily can't really be described in those terms, not least because their narrative purpose in canon is to be little more than blank canvases onto which harry can project as he goes through his series-long character arc, shedding his initial hero worship of james when confronted with the reality of his father's behaviour in order of the phoenix and starting both to fully appreciate lily's centrality to the course his life is taking and to see his dad with nuance as a real and fully-rounded person, flaws and all.

this narrative role means that the glimpses we get of them in canon feel kind of superficial - their bantering during snape's worst memory is basically high-school-teen-movie level, the snapshots of their life under lockdown in deathly hallows lovely and bittersweet but also just colour to a storyline which is already all of those things.

and this is not to say that i find jily uninteresting as a ship - i completely reject the common anti-jily position that they didn't really like each other, that they had nothing in common, or that their backgrounds made them incompatible [i'll expand on this below, but while i do think that their respective blood statuses and the impact of these on their relationship are worth thinking about, i loathe fics which portray james as chafing against his marriage because, as a pureblood, he'd be more comfortable with someone 'of his own kind'. this is bullshit, and there's far, far too much of it in this fandom]. my views on one of james' most frequent non-lily partnerships are well known, and i share the outrage many jily fans have for the way lily in particular is treated in a subfandom increasingly dominated by rigid fanon which prioritises giving depth to male characters [even if those characters are, in essence, oc's] and slash relationships over exploring the canon female characters, partnered or not.

but i do also find that a lot of jily falls into the same trap as much of the hinny i dislike - that is, a tendency to present as a sunshine-and-roses fairytale a relationship which is much more interesting if the things which canon implies [and which can be reasonably inferred outside of canon scenes from a canon coherent engagement with the text] might have introduced an element of dysfunction into james and lily's partnership are taken into account.

the shadow of the war is obviously one of these things. what role lily actually plays in the resistance is something which preoccupies me [she is never mentioned in canon to have taken a combat role - and i find it considerably more plausible that any attempt voldemort made to recruit her was at snape's request and connected to her potions prowess] particularly because, as we see in the way her death is memorialised in deathly hallows, the series regards the defence of the integrity of the nuclear family as a key aim for the good guys. how does she interact with james and his wartime role when she's pregnant, nursing, or in hiding for the vast majority of her time in the order? how does she feel about her husband being a soldier if she's behind the scenes?

indeed, what role james [and sirius] plays in the order is also something i'm obsessed with thinking about - not least because so much of the inherent tragedy of the marauders' storyline is caused by the fact that james and sirius think they're fucking invincible and that their plans to keep the potters safe are foolproof. it's entirely reasonable to read james and sirius as being pretty gung-ho about being paramilitaries - and my headcanon is absolutely that more battled-hardened order members didn't like them very much [moody does not, after all, seem massively fond of sirius] - and lily seems affected by this too [she's not holding her wand either!], and what they thought they were doing as 1981 rolls around is compelling to me.

james and lily's divergent backgrounds is also something i'd like to see explored more in fandom - not, as i've said, in the dull 'james should have married a pureblood' way, but in a way which deals with the fact that their relationship follows wizarding norms. molly weasley can blame the war all she likes, but [although i doubt this was jkr's intention] the evidence of canon is that witches and wizards marry and have children extremely young as a social standard, that couples generally don't live together before marriage, that divorce doesn't seem to be common, and that married women tend not to work. lily - a mother at twenty and, therefore, presumably married at nineteen - is coming of age, then, in a magical world which thinks about gender very differently from the muggle world of the 1970s, and i think that tension is worth exploring.

[similarly, the way in which her marriage is self-protective - lily gains a pureblood name and the social cachet which comes with it at a time when she's in rising danger on account of her birth - is something i think it's worth looking at when considering the pairing.]

there are other flashes of dysfuntion which i adore thinking about in relation to jily - lily's relationship with the other marauders [you can pry the reading that sirius resents her for stealing the love of his life - and i certainly don't mean lupin - away from him from my cold, dead hands]; how much of his misbehaviour at school james conceals from her; the fact that lily becoming more overtly interested in james from her sixth year onward must have a little bit of attempting to make snape jealous mixed into it - and whenever i stumble upon them in fics i say oh ho like horace slughorn and kick my little feet in the air.

i care rather less about 'we're so hot and flawless and not doomed' as a trope.

but i do stan james for beefing with vernon dursley even though lily told him to behave. the man really is just that annoying.

[brights-place]

Hello!! I read some of your Trolls stuff and I really really like them! May I request Trollex, Branch, and Floyd with a super supportive s/o who’s experienced in a lot of genres of music and dance? They have a TON of instruments and they know how to play every last one like girl where did you get these???

Sheet music and music theory knowledge is through the roof like you’d think they teach it as a profession, and if they give them physical affection and compliments and actually just normal relationship stuff??? They are a puddle on the ground they are NOT used to someone close actively caring so much about them besides like family they love that shit, giving AND receiving 😎 (they can be shy about it sometimes tho it’s adorable)

Uhhh tldr local music nerd is smitten with their amazing s/o, they down bad tbh /j

If this is too much in a single request, don’t hesitate to message me in case this is too long!

Them Dating an Music Theory! Troll

Pairing: Trollex X S/O, Floyd X S/O, and Branch X S/O

Warnings: Lots of Fluff, Mild cursing

A/N: OOOOH I LOVE THIS REQUEST! this is so good okay okay! plus I do music theory myself so this is fun! >:D

Trollex

- Trollex loves the way you explain music theory in a way that is easy to understand and engaging

- He enjoys listening to them talk passionately about music.

- He enjoys watching you play music for you and analyze the pieces in depth

- He listens when you rant and explain Music theory to him explaining that music theory covers things such as pitches and scales, intervals, clefs, rhythm, form, meter and time signatures, phrases and cadences, and basic harmony for music which he nods his head listening to you - Trollex loves how you play many instruments and stares at how you play it with ease - Trollex listens to you rant about it and is very patient with you even with his short attention span and endless energy.

- loves the way you light up when you talks about things that are about music

- He asks so many questions and forgets since his brain is re-setting sometimes - He can't help but admire your dedication to studying and refining your endless knowledge of music - He loves that they challenge your preconceived ideas about music and open you up to new perspectives of different musical styles and genres.

- He loves your creative ideas and imagination for how to explore and experiment with music.

- He values your willingness to share your knowledge and experience with you.

- He loves the way you express yourself through music and many genres not sticking to one and enjoys how you dance with him to techno music

Floyd

- Floyd loves to encourage you to express yourself creatively and explore your musical side more around him which you obviously do

- He appreciates how you share music tastes with him and discover new songs to listen to together

- He finds your knowledge of music history fascinating and enjoy learning new facts about the origins of different musical styles.

- Floyd is fascinated by your ability to deconstruct a piece of music and understand how the different elements interact to create a cohesive whole

- Floyd can’t help be impressed by the way you can find common threads between seemingly disparate pieces of music and make connections that he had never noticed before and would ask more

- You love the way your shy emo partner aka Floyd opens up to you and shares his emotions through music with you

-You two enjoy discussing the deeper meanings of songs and analysing the lyrics together though he mainly stared at your face to see your focused face

- He loves to play you a song that relates to your current emotional state and makes you feel understood and comforted.

- He can’t help but be drawn to how your musical knowledge and understanding of music theory can shed light on your personality in ways that you may not have been aware of but he was aware of it

- He finds it amazing how you can deconstruct your emotions using music theory and communicate with you on a deeper level which he also does I mean he is the sensitive one and knows about emotions

- He can’t help but be amazed by how much you can learn through many genres of music and their musical knowledge… I mean he’s Pop Rock but he can’t help but be shocked how you know ALL the genres

- He can’t help but be charmed by the way you approach music with pure enthusiasm and wonder as he stared at you lovingly.

Branch

- You both feel a strong connection with each other through music and can tell that you're both on the same wavelength even though he doesn't show it much,

- He can't help but admire the way you are fine with how branch can effortlessly switch between serious discussion and playful banter

- He finds it adorable when you become shy and blushes after realizing you have been rambling on about music for too long.

- He loves when you start sharing your favorite songs and artists with each other and discovering new music together

- He loves to support your creativity and encourages you to express yourself through music. - Branch can’t help be impressed by the way you can find common threads between seemingly disparate pieces of music and make connections that he had never noticed before and would ask more about it towards you

- He's impressed by your intelligence and knowledge of music theory.

- He finds himself admiring at your musical skills and wishing he could play or compose music the way you do.

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

[lemotmo]

Heyya!!Let me start by saying i am pretty sure buddie's happening this season butt..

Eddie's obvious chrush on ana.It was on his face.

Eddie's intimate scene with marisol.like him kissing her hands showed he liked her.

What I'm trying to say that we can explain these scene's didn't hold that much depth with theories right but the GA doesn't pay that much attention to minute details of eddie's queer coding.

And I will not speak about eddie being in love with shannon or not because we don't know about that.Eddie's pov/memory of his and Shannon's relationship is messed up.What we were shown on screen when she was alive doesn't clarify anything about his feelings when they were together before chris.He loved her that's for sure but in what form is...unknown,if i may.

So coming back to main point,The GA definitely hasn't given that much thought to eddie's sexuality,probabaly assume he is straight.My question is how do you think the writers will make the GA aware of his queer coding and all the umm..inner function-lol-that we as hardcore fans have studied intrinsically.😅

PS: Sorry to anyone who headcanons eddie as bisexual but I don't think so.

Interesting question Nonny. Thanks!

The thing is...

The GA thought Buck was as straight as a ruler as well before he came out in season 7. He had had a long string of girlfriends. More than Eddie even. So, it wouldn't be the first time the GA would have to adapt to exploring a formerly unknown facet of a character.

Eddie has always been queer-coded, since day one. In my personal opinion even more than Buck ever was and most of the GA seemed to adapt just fine to him kissing a guy, so I'm quite certain it won't be as big an issue as some people seem to think it might be, if it is properly introduced.

I do have to disagree on Ana and Marisol. Eddie never really seemed completely comfortable with either of them. He got a panic attack because Ana was referred to as Chris' mother. He obviously didn't care too much about Marisol either if he didn't even give her a second thought when he met Kim.

He also admitted to Buck that he didn't want to go home because Marisol would want to have sex with him. I mean, she was a good-looking woman and he was avoiding having sex with her over something that happened in her past? That's a red flag right there. The whole moving in/moving out thing? Big red flag! The man didn't really want her in his space, but he felt that he had to take that step because that's what was expected of him. That's not a sign of a loving relationship.

And what about his comment about 'feeling like he has to perform on dates with women'? Or his date with that lovely lady where he sat with her all night long, making plans on how to lie to their families. She was great. That would have been a perfect time for Eddie to fall for someone, but once again he just didn't seem to be very interested.

He seems to be capable of building great friendships with women, but the moment it goes beyond that, things start short-circuiting his brain.

Remember his break up with Ana? He literally said that he thought he would start to fall for her over time, but it never happened for him.

When Carla told him to follow his own heart, he looked over at Ana and you could see he wasn't really in it. He never was.

As for Shannon... He met her at a very young age and befriended her. I'm sure he felt a lot of emotions for her and he definitely crushed on her. But when she got pregnant reality set in and they had to get married. So there was never a chance to explore his own emotions beyond what he and Shannon had. He had no way to compare if this was what he was supposed to feel for someone when you're in love.

So yeah, he did love Shannon deeply. I'm absolutely certain of that. But I'm not so sure if it was a true romantic love. He definitely convinced himself that it was. But was it really?

In conclusion: In my humble opinion Eddie has always had problems connecting to women. He has never really fallen in love with one. Not the way he was supposed to anyway.

I do think they'll gradually build up his story as to not drop the GA right into another coming-out without any other context to it. Two seasons in a row might be too much of a good thing.

They might reach back to all the above scenes I mentioned in flashbacks. And they might ad extra scenes as well. Scenes from when he was a child perhaps? Growing up in Texas and having to be 'the man' of the house at an early age? How did that affect him during his puberty?

Gradually the GA will get a new view on Eddie and his complicated history with women. Eventually, after a few extra episodes I think, they will also get a new view on his very complicated emotions for his best friend Buck.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I'll never understand why trans Izzy headcanons got so popular when Ed is literally right there. Like obviously if you're trans project that onto whoever the fuck you want, but I love trans man Ed headcanons becuase they just make so much sense.

His over-compliance to hypermasculinity? I used to do that, too, even though I genuinely like a lot of stereotypically "feminine" things, just because I was scared of not being seen as a ""real man."" I sympathize so easily with how Ed falls back into hypermasculinity even when he clearly wants to be able to explore his gender presentation by doing things such as wearing different clothes and painting his nails. The way he built his entire brand around the beard and painted it on just SCREAMS beard dysphoria, like a trans kid drawing facial hair on with makeup. Even him tossing his leathers overboard and retrieving them speak to him learning that he can present himself differently depending on the situation, and it never changes that he's still just Ed, and he can choose to change up his presentation if he wants.

It's just so, so good. Headcanoning Ed as a trans man adds a whole new depth to how Ed struggles with how others perceive his gender presentation. And it makes it so much more heartbreaking at narrative beats where he's scared he's not safe because he's not performing masculinity correctly.

[ecoterrorist-katara]

hello hello! can i just say, i love your takes so much. it feels like you’ve read my mind on how katara would actually react in certain situations. currently myself, im rewriting the structure of the show in a way that makes more sense (aka, getting rid of kataang altogether and focusing on actual growth for each character including aang!) and im struggling a bit on aang actually!

we know how brykke basically stunted aang’s growth because of their weirdness. but what if aang never had a crush on katara? what if he sees katara as the big sister he always wanted instead, making their relationship more wholesome than weird? i think he’s such a centralized character, but when i develop the others beyond the show, aang feels like he’s left behind.

maybe that’s part of it too! he is a boy out of time, and now more of a concept than a person as far as anyone else outside of his immediate group knows. in this au where i intend to age everyone up, i’m just curious to see what kind of man aang would grow up into if his motivations for katara was never there. i see him as trying to hold onto his lost childhood and then having to come to terms with the fact he can’t. but i’d love to hear your thoughts. who is aang outside of that? his journey has the opportunity to be so fascinating, but brykke kind of said hey! let’s not get into that! let’s make him a creepy god boy who gets whatever he wants!

(also to note, this version of aang is meant to be with azula and while i love the meta ive seen about taang i do personally hc her as a lesbian but i do like them but yeah!)

also sorry if this is too rambly i’m just very excited!

hi! This is such a nice message, and please never apologize for rambling! My blog is a safe space for all ramblers. Your fic sounds like a very exciting project!

I definitely agree with you that he’d try to hold onto his childhood & have a hard time with his grief; coming to terms with the depth of his loss would be an exceptionally interesting arc. His people were victims of genocide: his culture and his loved ones were brutally murdered. Nobody can replace that community, not even his chosen family of the Gaang, and certainly not a romantic partner.

But Aang certainly is somebody outside of all that tragedy too. I think his cheerfulness and optimism, his playfulness, his resilience, his reluctance to assume responsibility, and his prodigiousness are all important facets of his personality.

Here's my piping hot take: Aang is James Potter with a more tragic backstory and less of a cruel streak. Think about it: mischievous, funny, adventurous, brave, enjoys attention, popular, devoted to friends, prodigious, entitled when it comes to love interests, morally inflexible, dedicated to Good, can be too arrogant to recognize his own faults. We hear that James became a pretty decent guy, so there's plenty of potential for growth for Aang, especially if he doesn't get his forever girl at age twelve.

Aang has a big heart and stringent morals, but is still a bit of a trickster. Not in a malicious way, but in a “I have a zest for life way” that gives him a little bit of an edge beyond just being a sunshine boy. You can see this even in ep 1, when he sacrifices himself so that the village would be left alone, only to haul ass out of the Fire Nation ship as soon as they’re safe. You can also see it in The Great Divide, where he straight up just fabricates history lmao. Lying is not an issue for him at all, which indicates it’s not really part of his moral code.

On the other hand, he obviously feels very strongly about taking life, which indicates a black and white approach towards morality that is not uncommon in kids. I could see an older, more mature Aang being led to question his own approach to morality, particularly by someone like Zuko, who probably finds violence a lot more palatable than lying. I think there are very interesting cultural differences that can be explored here, which doesn’t necessarily mean that Aang will change his opinions, only that he’ll have greater respect for how other cultures see right and wrong, and that he can keep Air Nomad culture alive without taking on the burden of being the manifestation of that culture. He has the innate impulse to try to see the best in people, which is at odds with his black and white morals sometimes. Related to that, he really struggles with morally grey characteristics in his friends. I think that if he had a fleshed out opportunity to properly disagree with his friends, he may not necessarily change his own mind, but he might grow to value his friends' freedom of choice over imposing his own values on them, since one of the cornerstones of Air Nomad philosophy is apparently about freedom. I think his pacifist voice is an important contribution to their ragtag group of overpowered pre-teens and teens and I love it when that aspect is explored in fics.

I've seen some really good depictions of Aang-not-obsessed-with-Katara in fanfiction (Southern Lights has my favourite one; in fact it's my fave characterization of basically everyone except for Mai). I see most of his flaws as things he can grow out of, but only if he encounters difficult situations and learns to grow. Have fun with your fic, and please do share in any relevant tags once you start posting!