#but heteronormativity is something i feel so deeply

[oaxleaf]

i do feel like pulley makes a conscious choice, whilst she typically acknowledges the homophobia that would be present in a period setting, to not make it a significant plot point or to have too much angst surrounding it, which i very much appreciate. sometimes you can put queer people in fun historical settings and let them be miserable for reasons other than being queer. simultaneously, i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the themes of heteronormativity in thlovk. because those are not necessarily the same thing? i’m lucky enough to not have experienced much in-person homophobia, but by god does hetero- and cisnormativity prevail no matter how progressive of a place you live in.

so yeah, the way valery talks about things like marriage and family really resonates. the pretty much presumed loneliness, the notion that if you don’t settle down with your opposite-sex partner and have a bunch of kids then you’ll end up sad and uncared for. and whilst homophobia is mentioned and relevant (though more so when it comes to shenkov), heteronormativity is the real insidious attitude in the novel. how valery himself, throughout the entierty of the novel, keeps presuming that he’ll always lie farthest down on the list of people shenkov cares about, because the straight nuclear family promotes the idea that love and caring is a limited resource in a person when it really isn’t, and that a romantic, heterosexually married spouse will always take the automatic highest priority, followed by ones biological children, and that there even needs to be a hierarchy. valery’s insecurities are not about being queer, but it’s about the things everybody assumes you’ll never have just because of your queerness. and i appreciate an exploration of the struggles of queer identity that go deeper than the risk of hatred and homophobia

[xylophone888]

(this is a repost because i think i accidentally deleted the original post :/)

fun (actually quite sad and not fun whatsoever) fact: when rincewind described what he thought was a crush on conina to himself he only listed physical "symptoms" such as fast heartbeat, feeling too hot to a "molten iron" extent and sweaty palms; he never brought up or even tried to bring up psychological stuff like being drawn to the person you have a crush on or finding some of their features or interests attractive or even something like wanting to get to know them better

he only found physical symptoms that could correspond to many different things other than infatuation and i personally think he just said to himself "well she's a woman and im a man and men are attracted to women right? therefore all this i feel must mean that im attracted to her, can't imagine anything else" but actually if you look at the aforementioned symptoms a little closer....i honestly am of the opinion he was just constantly stressed and anxious and scared on such a deep level already that he couldn't understand why was he feeling all that so he went for the only explanation available; he got so used to fear and anxiety he stopped noticing it and when it expectedly produced bad physical symptoms he already stopped even thinking about the fact that he's afraid and anxious because it became the default state of being to him; he forgot that feeling the way he feels all the time isn't normal

[bulldagger-bait]

actively live laugh loving through a crisis of sexuality except its not in the fun way (the fun way is: oh my! am i gay? i should find a hot dyke to experiment with)

im twenty three years old i cannot seriously be wondering whether or not i like boys. i already did this shit in middle school like can we not

[nottobehornyonthemain]

The pool scene is awesome. But it’s also extremely painful.

Because on the one hand you have Gideon, who is very repressed, something we’re probably not expecting as an audience, because she is a brash, agressive, openly queer woman. There’s a weird expectation that girls are somehow more in touch with their feelings (this is dumb). But also we live in a heteronormative society, and it’s unusual for us to see out queer folks who haven’t had to actually think critically about their emotions and come to terms with with them. Which, Gideon has not done.

So she’s in this position where she does not think that Harrowhark is capable of feeling affection or love, and that the strongest emotion Harrow is capable of is hate. Gideon knows 100% for a fact that Harrow hates her, so that means she is important to Harrow.

Except that Harrow *is* apparently capable of love and affection. Which means that when she says that she doesn’t think about Gideon that often because there are things she cares about more, she’s not just saying it to get under Gideon’s skin. Which means that Gideon isn’t as important to Harrow as she thought she was. And this upsets her deeply for reasons she can’t fully explain or understand.

On the other hand you have Harrow, she just told her greatest secret, and received forgiveness, understanding, and genuine human comfort in return. So she looks at the world as though it is filled with egg-eating snakes and she is protecting an egg. So she makes Gideon promise to go home and do the thing her family has been tasked with for generations. We, as the audience, have only gotten like five scenes with Harrowhark fully aware of everything post pool-scene, and in two of them she is destroying herself so that Gideon can have even the smallest chance of life.

Because Gideon just had her heart broken into a thousand tiny shards and can’t even express why, meanwhile Harrow thinks they’re married now.

If they had just a few more hours to talk to each other afterwards I fully believe that they would have worked a lot of this shit out. I guess that’s the tragedy. Even in their moment of seeing each other clearly for the first time, they still don’t understand each other.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

Stede Bonnet, Renaissance Man (Or an Exceptional Man who Thinks He’s Mediocre)

I’ve posted before about Stede’s love of beauty. He’s an aesthete, finding wonder in art and creative self-care rather than the transcendental. Stede’s a freethinker. He challenges the orthodoxies of his time, rejecting forced heteronormative behaviours, and even questioning the accepted traditions of piracy.

The thing about Stede is he often asks ‘why?’ It’s partly what makes him dangerous to some. This slant towards subversion is much of what Izzy observes and detests. It’s one of many reasons Stede must be kept from Ed. Like a number of Renaissance-style thinkers before him, Stede refuses to go along with the status quo. He is ‘doing something original’, questioning dogma. Many find it ridiculous, bizarre even. And it’s significant that instead Ed finds Stede enchanting, because it demonstrates who Ed might be given the chance to find his own path.

Stede is also a polymath and likely an autodidact - I doubt he learned about ‘insane foliage’ at school. He is self-motived and seems to have knowledge across a broad spectrum of disciplines. Literature, drama, botany, entomology, psychology, art, textiles. Stede’s very much about the life of the mind.

And he’ll approach areas at which he’s not so gifted, such as cartography and sword-fighting, with the enthusiasm of a dilettante; when he can’t succeed the traditional way, he simply subverts the discipline and does it his own. However, the most important thing for me in defining Stede as a Renaissance man is his humanism. People are front and centre. Sometimes that person is himself, and he loses sight of others. But it’s okay as that’s the point. Humanism is partly about being a messy individual who can do better. And Stede is someone who can learn and alter his position when circumstances change. He might not do so in the best way all of the time, but he is a quick-learner and highly-adaptable.

Stede also understands that no culture or institution is bigger than the people within it. The most important thing is human dignity - it’s what he shows and teaches Ned’s crew: that they deserve to be respected as people. Stede also has a strong moral core. When he messes up, he feels it deeply. He demonstrates strong ethics towards the natural world too - he’s absolutely disgusted by turtle vs. crab. Stede believes not so much in human superiority, but human responsibility, and this is the flip side of having dignity as a human being.

Another aspect of Stede’s humanism is his belief that culture should be accessible to all. Some of this might be naivety on Stede’s part rather than a well-thought out philosophy, but he believes in it intuitively. Stede wants the crew to have access to his library despite not recognising they can’t all read. He gives them musical instruments and sports facilities - he’s interested in what makes people flourish. And Stede practically invents art therapy!

His ship is also a safe-space for human relationships to blossom - romantic, platonic, and in between. Zheng’s ship might appear to offer collective harmony, but it’s mandated and dogmatically applied. Opting out of morning tai chi for a 24-hour shagathon might be viewed as an act of dissent. No such big brother is judging you on Stede’s Revenge.

And all of this is because of the man Stede is, and the influence he has on those around him. Sometimes it falls on deaf ears. Many don’t like what Stede’s offering. Others actively rebel against it. But anyone with an ounce of goodness will get what Stede Bonnet is about and embrace it. Stede doesn’t seem to understand his own power, it comes from such an authentic place. For me, it makes him all the more endearing.

[thatfandomslut]

Kiss Me Forever

Regina George x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Trigger Warnings: making out, kisses in random places, a lot of fluff, a lot of love, a very brief mention of internalized homophobia

Request:

Valentine's / Followers Celebrations; Regina George w/ quote 3 and piece of chocolate number 12. Or: “I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you so badly.” w/ random kisses

Valentine's / Followers Celebrations Requests are closed.

There was a soft sound of laughter from the room, Regina cupping (Y/n)’s cheek, softly squeezing them into a kissy face gently. “You’re so childish,” (Y/n) teased, her voice altered from the way Regina had squished her cheeks. Regina ignored her words, releasing her lips as she kissed her deeply. (Y/n) grinned in the kiss as Regina rolled into her arms, the two tangled into each other’s arms. It was sloppy but it was comfortable as they laid in each other’s arms. As they pulled away there was a large grin on their faces as they stared at each other for a moment. “You’re so pretty,” (Y/n) stated softly. There playful moment turned into a pleasant sense of calm.

Regina’s nose scrunched delicately as she pressed a soft kiss to her lips again. “Thank you, baby,” she whispered on her girlfriend’s lips. “You’re so pretty, too.” She stated as she kissed her, deepening the kiss with a smile. (Y/n) reciprocated happily as pulled away for a moment to appreciate Regina. They had known each other since middle school, but it took until they got into the same college, and happened to be dormmates to finally do something about their mutual feelings. Now, here they were, lying together in a communal silence, appreciating the fact they finally found each other.

There was a long moment of silence before Regina’s forehead leaned against (Y/n)’s. “Why didn’t we get together sooner?” She asked softly. A couple quiet moments passed, thought taking over (Y/n)’s eyes. She took too long to consider this, in Regina’s opinion. Pulling away gently, she searched her girlfriend’s eyes. “Was it because of me? Was I mean to you? I tried my best not to be.” Regina spoke with worry filling her voice. She understood her past wasn’t as clean as it could’ve been. But she had power, and she didn’t want to lose all of that. Unfortunately, she hurt a lot of people during the process.

(Y/n) looked at Regina a bit sheepishly. “You were just a bit snappy.” She confessed, tracing some shapes on Regina’s waist. She didn’t want to upset her girlfriend. There was another long silence that resulted in (Y/n) placing a kiss on Regina’s nose as she pouted. (Y/n) would kiss all of the freckles that Regina didn’t hide this late at night if she could. Instead, for now, she settled for the tip of her nose. It seemed to provide a sense of comfort for Regina as a tiny smile began to gently tug on the corners of her pretty pink lips.

“I probably was avoiding my feelings. We grew up in a heteronormative society. I knew it was okay for others to be gay, but I didn’t know if it was okay for me to be gay. But, I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you so badly. I was like on love with you.” Regina said softly, and (Y/n) listened to her quiet confession. By the quiver in Regina’s lips and the watery look swimming in her beautiful blue-green eyes, (Y/n) knew Regina was close to tears. “Middle school, and even high school, me… I would be in shock and disbelief. Sometimes, I still am. I love you.”

(Y/n) smiled a bit at Regina’s words, kissing the blonde softly. There was a bitterness to the kiss as stray tears made their way down Regina’s cheeks. “I love you, too,” (Y/n) whispered before kissing away Regina’s tears. A sense of victory swelled in her chest when laughter erupted from Regina’s chest as she kissed feverishly all over her girlfriend’s cheeks. (Y/n) grinned as she pulled away triumphantly, and Regina reciprocated the grin as she kissed (Y/n). The connection of their lips didn’t end as Regina’s tongue traced a path on (Y/n)’s lower lip. This led to a slow make out session with (Y/n)’s hands holding Regina’s waist as Regina cupped her cheeks.

There moment was ruined by a knock on their door. Regina groaned softly as she rolled off her girlfriend. They had momentarily forgotten they made plans with Cady and Janis for a double date. “I’m not even ready,” Regina glanced over to (Y/n), who was just as equally not ready for this double date. “What if I sent them away?” The blonde still got up, to throw on a different shirt and brush her hair. But (Y/n) had to admit that offer sounded much better. Still, she followed Regina in getting ready to go to their double date. Just as (Y/n) was about to speak, the knocking increased. It was Janis knocking, obviously. She was always impatient.

(Y/n) laughed as Regina rolled her eyes. Janis then began yelling through their dorm door. “Hurry up,” and they could hear Cady trying to calm the firecracker that was Janis Imi’ike. This created a brief thought to (Y/n) that she could just play sick and get this out of this date. Regina seemed to be thinking the same, but in the end they knew it would be wrong to cancel. But they were having such a sweet moment filled with beautiful, random kisses. Why do they have to go now?

Before they left, despite the rushing knocks, (Y/n) pulled Regina in one more time. Pressing her lips to her girlfriend’s, the two momentarily ignored the knocking and teasing from Janis as they kissed. “When we get home, we’ll plan to never leave the bed again,” (Y/n) assured Regina, though they both knew the idea was impossible. Still, it provided Regina with a grin as she nodded at the idea of them coming home and doing what they had been doing earlier: nothing.

“Okay, that’s a deal,” Regina agreed, not having to think about it. As they exited, they were exposed to a sheepish Cady and Janis who had her arms crossed as they were waiting. Janis then went on about how long they took and Regina narrowed her eyes at her as (Y/n) took her hand to keep her from snapping at Janis. “You’re going to have to repay me later and just kiss me forever.”

[mayhemories]

please please please do a part two of best friend’s brother with some intense toe curling smut!! 🤭🤭

Best Friend's Brother (pt. 2 Smut)

My first time publishing smut - got nervous! if people like this I will do a pt. 3 in which will be p in v. Also, some tags just are not working so if it doesn't work I'm sorry it was not purposeful.

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x Reader (James Cameron’s Avatar) 

Requested: Yes | No

Warnings: smut, !!!!minors dni!!!!!! Smut. Heteronormative sex, swearing, virgin reader, oral - female receiving etc. smut smut smut. Maybe a lil angsty at the start? Reader is still insecure as was requested in the original request. 

Words: 2.6k

Author’s Notes: 

Aged up, obviously. Direct continuation of Best Friend’s Brother <- which you can find here.

Permanent Taglist: @lilprettypetite @nyotamalfoy @weasleytwinwheezes @aonungs-tsahik @rainbowsocks @glitterandgoldfinds @bluealiensimp @melsunshine @ussoppl @wondxrgurll @luvlykrispy @myheartfollower @gloryavila

Fic Taglist: @n1ght5h4d3-24 @kirapeach11 @mochiqueen16-blog @buttercake2234 @darksxder @anficblogs @ashrocker123 @strawberri-blonde @snakequeen13

Read under the cut:

You and Neteyam had been together for six months. And, undoubtedly, they were the best six months of your life. He was so affectionate, something that took you a little while to get used to, especially in front of others. 

But recently you’ve wanted to take it that one step further, but you just didn’t know how. And it was really, really bothering you. Neteyam wasn’t pushy, but he wasn’t shy the same way you were shy. The two of you spoke about anything and everything. He’s helped you explore a lot of intimacy that you felt like you were missing out on. Heated kisses, open talks, and sometimes Neteyam would write you filthy letters about how he thought about you, how he dreamed about you. And you wished you could return the favour. 

You sighed deeply, pricking yourself with your beading needle again. You were so frustrated. In every sense of the word. 

“What’s on your mind? C’mon spit it out.” Kiri said sharply, still busy with her own beading. You were grateful for Kiri, always. She always stood by you, no matter what. And, where others may drift apart in the situation you two were in, your relationship with Neteyam did nothing but bring you and Kiri closer together. She was practically your sister now. 

But you didn’t know if talking about this, about your sexual frustration with Neteyam, was apropriate conversation to have with your best friend. 

“Nothing, I am just lost in my thoughts today.” You tried to dismiss it, and swallow it down. Though you could feel the blush spreading across your body, and the fire of embarrassment spread between the valley of your breasts. 

Kiri spat out a sarcastic laugh. “Uh huh, you’ve been lost in your thoughts for days then.” Kiri tossed her beading to the ground. The two of you sat outside, in the grass soaking up the sunlight. 

“I don’t know what you could possibly mean.” You said, more focused on your beading now than ever. You were beading a new bodice for a clan dance in a few eclipses time. 

“Okay, so its obviously about Neteyam then.” Kiri started, you threw your beading at her while a small smirk graced her lips. 

She was still your best friend, you just didn’t want to burden her with uncomfortable knowledge. 

“(y/n) you can tell me anything, I won’t be mad, even if its gross.” Kiri assured you, you felt her eyes burning into the side of your head as you covered your face with your hands. Eywa, you were so embarrassing and naive and stupid. 

You knew Neteyam loved you, and in turn, he is an incredible man. He would never think less of your innocence or your shyness. 

But your own brain enjoyed the act of self-sabotage, and you often could not help but to think the lack of sex life was due to your lack of appeal. 

“You have to promise me not to get grossed out!” You say, pulling your hands away from your face, holding Kiri’s eyeline. You knew you were a blushing mess, riddled with anxiety and nausea. 

“I promise! I’m not a child, and I’m not Lo’ak.” She quipped. You chuckled and you tried to put your heart back down in your chest from where it had risen to your throat. 

“Well, Neteyam and I have been together for awhile…” You started playing with your long braids, nervously. Kiri urged you on. “We have been together for awhile, and I love him, you know I do-” 

“Trust me, everyone knows you do.” You ignored Kiri’s interjection, soldiering on. 

“-And I don’t expect us to form a bond anytime soon, of course but…” You felt the burning sensation under your skin, your blood was too loud and the day too bright, everything was causing a sensory malfunction. 

“But what?” Kiri was kind, and she never pushed you further than necessary. 

“Well, I would like to mate with him but I’m so scared and I don’t know how to ask, let alone do anything remotely sexual and I’m afraid Neteyam knows this and that’s why we haven’t done anything yet and I’m just stupid so I would get his hesitancy-” 

Kiri cut your rambling off, laughing. Throwing her head back in the sun, you could see all the stripes that ran across her neck, hiding under necklaces and her com. 

“Have you just asked him?” She asked plainly, once she collected herself. 

You were shocked - just ask him, was she crazy? 

“Well, no I haven’t.” You mumbled, fetching your beadwork from Kiri’s lap, and finding solace in the distraction. 

“That’s where you start, (y/n). There’s no shame in not knowing.” Kiri said softly, sensing your unease. She went back to her own beadwork and did not bring it up again. 

You knew Neteyam would be back any minute. You sat, still working on the fine beading in your new tent given to you as a step into your adulthood. You enjoyed living away from your parents, the solace and independence. But, Neteyam knew you got lonley and stayed with you most nights. 

Tonight was one of those nights. And, Neteyam always comes to you as soon as he finishes his duties. 

You were just going to ask him, like Kiri said. 

That was no big deal, right? You did not know what you were going to say, you were going to ‘go with the flow’ like Jake says sometimes. 

This ‘flow’ made you feel like you were drowning.

Soft lips on your forehead snapped you out of your whirlpool thoughts. 

“My love are you alright? I’ve been talking to you for a minute or two now.” Neteyam said softly, holding both your cheeks in his hands. His eyes scanned your face to find a trace of what was bothering you, your face flushed under his intense stare. 

“I’m sorry Neteyam, there’s been a lot on my mind recently.” You said, smiling. Neteyam took the bait, removing his hands from your face, sitting across from you on the floor, legs crossed. 

“Tell me about it my lovely girl.” Neteyam said, reaching out for one of your hands. Partially because he craved your touch, and partially to distract you from your beading. He had missed you all day, and did not want to share your attention with some beads. 

You sighed softly, taking his hand. Everytime you looked at Neteyam his stomach flipped, he felt butterflies and fell in love all over again, everytime. He did not miss the bright blush that burned across your high cheekbones and nose, and that dipped down into the valley of your breasts. He knew his eyes lingered there for a beat too long, but you did not notice. 

“Neteyam I am embarrassed to ask you this,” His heart dropped into the field of butterflies in his stomach. “But, do you want to have sex with me?” 

He must’ve heard you wrong. His head snapped to yours, finding you looking up at him through your thick lashes, innocently. 

“What?” The word fell from his mouth before he could reel it back in. And, you were quick to jump to the defensive, afraid of upsetting him, of offending him. 

“We do not have to obviously, as I know I am not experienced and maybe that is not what you’re after but-” 

The low growl came from Neteyam’s chest. ‘No experience’ was just a polite term for ‘no one else's’. As far as Neteyam was concerned, if another male looked at you for too long it was reasonable grounds for a fight. 

“You want to have sex with me?” Neteyam asked, he felt all the blood rush in-between his legs. The conversation alone was enough for him. He has wanted you for so long, for too long. But he would never, ever make you operate outside your own terms. 

You smiled, the fleeting confidence that he provided you swelling in your chest. 

“I would want nothing more, my Neteyam.” 

The kiss was hot, and striking. His hands cupped your face, like they had done not all that long ago, but this time, he laid you down, your back to the floor. His strong, muscular frame leaning over you, your chests touching, and one of his knees had found his way between your legs. His tongue wiped your lips, a gentle way to ask for permission. You gave it to him, his tongue fought yours for dominance, briefly, until you submitted to him, like you always did. 

You were still fully clothed, Neteyam too, but the heat was insurmountable. His knee was far from your clothed cunt, but the anticipation caused slick to gather there all the same. 

He pulled away from the kiss, you were thankful for the air but you craved the feeling of him so close. 

“My love you have to tell me if you don’t like something, or if you don’t feel comfortable or if you change your mind, ok?” He whispered into your ear, you nodded, words failing you. “No, use your words babygirl, let me hear you.” Neteyam left paperlight kisses under your ear, and moved to your jaw. 

“Okay.” You said, breathless, barely above a whisper. 

“Good girl.” Neteyam kissed down the column of your neck, sucking and biting. His cainines taking your sweet flesh and leaving dark, purple marks in his wake. Everyone would know who you belonged to now. If there was any doubt before, there would never be again. 

Neteyam’s left hand was still cradling the side of your face, while his right played with the skin at your waist, rubbing up and down, teasing the skin underneath the hem of your beaded top. As he continued the assault on your neck, down to your chest and the straps of your coverings laid, you felt the tip of his tail caress your thigh, his own knee moving up to find your wet core. 

You couldn’t help but moan at all the stimulus. You felt Neteyam stop for a microsecond, but it was enough for you to feel embarrassed, you quickly covered your mouth with your hand, stifling anything else that may humiliate you. 

He pulled away from your chest, leaning over you to look you in the eye, his free hand that had been playing with the hem of your shirt came up to pull your hand away. He placed your hand on his toned, flexing chest. 

“No. No, I want to hear you, don’t be embarrassed.” His thumb swiped across your lip and in an act of lust-induced insanity you opened your mouth and sucked on it. “Never hide from me, my love.” Neteyam smiled lightly, his eyes fluttering closed, he pressed his hips against your own. 

You felt how hard he was against you, your internal walls clenched against nothing, but you felt how soaked your loincloth had become. Neteyam let out his own deep moan. 

“Do you feel me, babygirl? Do you feel what you do to me?” His voice had changed, deep and commanding and alluring. 

It was all too much. You felt the coil in the base of your stomach tightening. 

“Answer me, sweetheart.” Neteyam whispered as he ground into you, his lips attaching themselves to your already bruised neck. Both his hands making quick work of removing your top, discarding it with no care. 

“Yes, yes, I-” Your breath hitched as his mouth found your nipple, rolling the sensitive bud around in his mouth. “I want to feel you inside, Neteyam.” You said bravely, shutting your eyes, you could not control the nonsense that fell from your mouth. You were too fucked out and barely anything had happened yet. It was embarrassing. 

He wanted you nonetheless. 

Neteyam could not help but growl when the sweet words fell from your plush, beautiful lips. He removed himself from your swollen nipple. He took you in, looking at all of you. Your body had a light sheen of sweat, your head was rolled back, lips parted- mewling. You were everything to him. 

Netyam did not hesitate in removing your loincloth as quick as his nimble fingers would allow, sliding the fabric down your legs he took the time to squeeze your thighs and calves. He wanted to consume you, every part. Mind, body and soul, Neteyam would never stop wanting you. He supposed that made him selfish. But, Neteyam had never asked for anything in his whole life, save for you. And, he would be completely satisfied in his existence in this life if all he had was you. 

“Can I taste you my love?” Neteyam asked, using one of his hands to part your legs, wider, his other was massaging the flesh of your thigh. He saw your sopping cunt for the first time and fuck, Neteyam felt wasted. Absolutely toatled. His dick strained against his own covering, twitching at the sight. 

Stunning. 

You nodded, giving him permission. Neteyam pinched your inner thigh, making you squeal in surprise, raising your head slightly you squinted at him. “Words, babygirl. I know you know how to use ‘em.” 

“Taste me, honey. I want whatever you want me to want.” You laid your head back down of the floor of your home, desperate for friction your bare hips bucked upward, and you could’ve sworn you heard Neteyam’s breath hitch. 

He wasted no time in exploring your most private heat. Neteyam ate you like a man starved, your moans doing nothing but spurring him on. 

You wanted to save your first orgasm for his dick, but Neteyam licked and sucked, one of his hands had found your clitoris, and you felt that tight coil in your stomach begin to snap. Instinctively, your hand flew to his hair, nestling in his braids as he hit a certain spot. Back arching, you began to unravel, and unravel quickly. 

“Neteyam, I can’t, I’m going to-” You began to apologise about your approaching orgasam, embarrassed that you could not save it for when he was inside. His fingers worked quickly on your clit, as he pulled his mouth away briefly. 

“Cum for me, my darling girl.” His husky voice sent a shock through your body, his fingers never stalling, his tongue found your heat again, licking, stroking, tasting. His words were enough for you. 

You felt your walls clench, squirting around his sucking mouth, he drew it from you, swallowing it down. You felt him smiling against you, against your shaking, heavily breathing frame. 

Neteyam came up, his arms extended on either side of your head, your felt his hard-on ground into your naked form, his loincloth would be stained from your wetness. You began to come down from your high, Neteyam captured your eyeline. You stared at him, and his smirk, a bead of your own cum on the side of his mouth. You threw your hands over your eyes and face in embarrassment, you couldn’t help it. You felt like you should’ve lasted longer than you did. 

Neteyam loosed a breathy chuckle watching you hide behind your hands, while your shatteringly-beautiful and so very naked form laid under him. 

“Don’t hide sweetheart, I need to see your face baby.” You shook your head in reply, keeping your hands firmly placed against your face. “I see you. I see you despite the fact that you’re too embarrassed to look at me.” Neteyam’s voice was hoarse, his words raw, and you could do nothing but look at him then. 

See him. 

Feel him. 

Love him, 

Entirely.

He smiled when he saw your warm eyes again. And, you knew you were done. Totaled, even.

“I see you.” You spoke softly, worried that if you were any louder this would all fade into nothingness.

He captured you in a strong, burning kiss. And you giggled at the face that you could taste yourself on his lips. 

You decided that you would not be embarrassed around Neteyam anymore. 

[erisweekofficial]

To kick off our creator highlight series that will count down the days until Eris week, we have @iftheshoef1tz! You may know her from one of her amazing fics, our bodies, possessed by light or from co-organizing the AMAZING @azrisweek.

👀 You can check out her work on AO3 and follow her on instagram here.

🔥 Need a good place to start? Check out what hath night to do with sleep, her favorite Eris fic that she's written. (It's SO good).

📙 Read more below to learn about Fitz's view on Eris and some advice for writing his character.

How do you see Eris evolving as a character in future books?

Eris is set up as both a foil and an analogue to Rhys - harsh fathers, harsh upbringings, the presence of a mask in front of others while still loving deeply. I fear that Eris will go the same way as Rhys, too, which is merely long-suffering yet kind and therefore that justifies everything he’s done, and he will suddenly be kind and sweet in a way that I don’t think his character (currently) is set up to be. I also just don’t want that man to be straight lmfao.

How do you balance canon and your own interpretations in your work?

The good and bad thing about writing Eris is that there are really tantalizing details about him, set against a backdrop of mostly vague information/general knowledge about Autumn and the Vanserras. Eris in all the universes I’ve written him is prickly, a keen observer, manipulative, prone to a superiority complex, and wary of trust, and I think these traits bear out in canon, from what little we know of him. That makes him really fun to put in Situations.

What's your favorite piece you've created featuring Eris and why?

I think my absolute favorite is What Hath Night to Do With Sleep. There’s always a little bit of me in everything I write, and writing Eris as this twenty-something guy unhappy with, unimpressed by, and honestly kind of stifled by his life is a feeling I am a bit too familiar with. I was a little afraid to take on Eris (after spending so much time in Azriel's head), but exploring his earlier life and getting myself in his head made it rewarding. Also, I managed to make him quite funny, which is something I'm not always great at conveying in my writing!

Do you have any advice for other creators wanting to make eris content?

Two things: one, write Eris the same in a straight pairing as you would a queer one. Always be vigilant for heteronormativity (in fiction and in your own life!). Two, make him smart! Bitchy is fun, but bitches can be stupid, too. (Hi, it's me.)

[sasukeless]

something i think is deeply sad about sakura’s character is how most of her feelings for sasuke clearly seem motivated by the fact that he’s “the one guy that everyone wants”

since she was little she had for an objective to marry him and become his wife, and it reminds me of how the mizukage complains that she’s a failure for not being married regardless of the fact that. she’s literally the mizukage. i wouldn’t call that a failure. but there’s such a pressure toward women to find love and have a family that it seems sakura mostly project her desire of social recognition into sasuke.

that’s why she’s happy in boruto, she has what she wanted: the proof that she married a man that everyone struggled to get, and even had a child with him.

sakura is the biggest example of male-centered women deep in society’s heteronormative norms. she goes from defining her entire worth on a boy she likes to break friendships over boy crushes, changing her entire personality to a docile girl when she’s around sasuke in attempts to get him to like her, risking herself just to get some reaction out of him, try to put down other girls (wanting to see sai insult ino), seeing them as just her rivals (sarada’s reaction to ino says alot that sakura hasn’t grown past her childish behavior / also her sticking her face over karin’s in a picture 🥴) and yeah we could be here all day.

it surprises me there’s no more conservative/catholic jokes about her as they are about hinata considering her personality but ig that would destroy the imagen people have created for her because they don’t want to admit how she rlly is in canon but the same people don’t have a problem to do with hinata so makes you wonder

but yeah she’s obviously happy, or well pretends to be as seen in gaiden because she’s living what she always dreamed. it is a broken dream ofc and she knows it but ultimately she knows she made her bed

[sevensoulmates]

7x05 Buddie Meta "You Don't Know Me" Part 1 (of 4)

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Welp. I'm back at it again with the four-part metas. I was hoping this one wouldn't take too long but alas there was even more to unpack in this episode than last episode.

Fair warning my meta does contain speculation, and is very much my opinion/interpretation. I will be diving into my personal opinions about Eddie's sexuality and marriage to Shannon here. My headcanon is that Eddie is a repressed gay man, not bisexual, and I believe that while he did love Shannon, he was not in love with her and their marriage was something they were pressured into and was not healthy for either of them. I do my best to look at these topics in a nuanced light, but if you are sensitive to reading opinions that differ from yours I'm warning you of mine now. Let's begin!

Taylor Wong is nothing if not an amazing comedy writer. This call didn't end up being as psychological as I may have hoped but it still acts as an interesting parallel and metaphor. "I'm the Boss of Me!" is the tagline for a self-control conference and Buck and Eddie being the ones hurt here. How they got hurt is interesting too and reflects their exact conflicts in this episode.

Buck is being choked, stopping his ability to breathe but also his ability to talk. In the context of this episode, his inability to bring himself to tell Eddie the truth weighs on him--chokes him with guilt-- until he finally does come clean near the end, and only then is he able to exhale again. For Eddie, his being grabbed by the crotch is funny, but it's also an indicator of his storyline in this episode too. He deals with sexual dysfunction because learning about Marisol being a nun makes him feel so deeply uncomfortable that the idea of being with her sexually disgusts him and stops him from having a functioning sex life. For both of them, the pain and discomfort still linger even after the claw arm guy lets him go, but my hope is that this is indicative that one day both of them will get clarity and be set free too.

"Keeping our options open" is a call back to the last episode where Buck says he's "keeping his options fluid". Whereas the last episode it seemed to be more about sexuality, options open with men and women, this time it seems to be about something else. Maybe it's an indicator of Buck keeping his options open with different people? Which is interesting considering who pops up a second later.

This is part of why I think it's a good idea they're having Buck get used to queerness with another man other than Eddie. I feel like if Buck had discovered his queerness with Eddie, these kinds of issues might've been blown out of proportion on both of their ends and probably caused much MUCH bigger problems. Allowing Buck the chance to work through this with someone safer was a good bet.

Additionally, I find it interesting here that both Buck and Eddie are dealing with external and internal conflicts that mirror each other in this episode. In this instance, it's the fear of being Perceived. For Eddie, being perceived by God. For Buck, being perceived by Heteronormative Society at large.

This would be an adjustment for anyone, so I don't necessarily think Buck is dealing with internalized homophobia that's too detrimental. I think it's more so he needs an adjustment period and needs to figure out why he's uncomfortable. Is it the idea of being perceived as queer by others? Is it the idea of being perceived as queer by Eddie? Is it the fact that you are on a date with a man? Or is it because you're not sure if you're on a date with the right man? More on this when we get to his scene with Maddie.

Now I had a strong feeling that Tommy was going to be someone who only figured out who he was later in life too. And it seems a lot of that was due to his past, possibly how he grew up, and being in the 118 under Gerard who was every "ist" in the book. It goes to show how far Tommy has come and also proves to be interesting if we keep thinking of Tommy as a parallel to Eddie. I also had a feeling that Tommy was going to lean slightly more toward the gay side (though he's purposefully unlabeled which is fair).

To me, the phrase "lying about who I was" seems to align more with someone who is into men and not into women, but that's just my interpretation. Especially because in the next moment, Buck says that he's not lying about how he is, which is more in line with the bisexual experience.

Because Buck isn't lying. He was always/still currently is attracted to women, and is only just now discovering a new aspect of himself with his attraction to men. Whereas Tommy seems to be implying that when he was with women he was lying to himself about his attraction to them. Sound like anyone else we know?

Additionally, we have another call back to 7x04 (plus a myriad of other episodes) where Buck "makes it about him" when Tommy was really just trying to tell Buck more about himself, not imply that Buck was also lying. I'm going to give Buck some grace here because this is all new for him, so I understand his hyper-sensitivity. But it is once again showing another instance of Buck failing to really connect with Tommy about something related just to Tommy. Last episode, every conversation they had always found its way back to Eddie or was about Buck's feelings regarding what was happening. This time, when Tommy tries to be vulnerable and connect with Buck, Buck makes it about him and it feels like a misconnection (like how I predicted with the missed hand grab in 7x03 with Tommy and Buck trying to connect, but something always not quite hitting the intended target).

If down the road we see Tommy's (abridged) story about "lying to himself" come to fruition in a similar light with Eddie's storyline I'm going to be delighted. Here Buck is out on a date with a man who the last episode spent the entire time telling us was extremely similar to Eddie, only to have Tommy align perfectly with a lot of our headcanons about Eddie's sexuality too. I think this is something to stick a pin in to come back to later for sure.

Oh, Buck. OH, baby bi Buck. My heart aches for you and my body cringes. He's obviously on edge, but Eddie showing up just makes it worse. Buck immediately tries to no homo not just himself, but Tommy as well, stating that they're going to go find some "hot chicks" to pick up. Eddie makes a face, obviously picking up on the weirdness of Buck's statement (because "picking up chicks" is wildly out of character for current Buck and has been for years) but he's too distracted with Marisol to dig any deeper into it. He believes it very easily instead of stopping to question why else these two men might be on what looks like an intimate date. Tommy looks hurt, and I feel bad for him, but this was obviously his breaking point, and I can understand why.

I want to briefly touch on Eddie and the way he was speaking about Marisol throughout the entire episode separately from the whole nun thing. I found this piece of dialogue so odd here, because in general this isn't really how Eddie talks, it doesn't feel natural for him, but at the same time, it also harkens back to some of his horrendous dialogue with Ana back in season 5. "This hot chick already found her firefighter" "Spank me with a ruler" "kinda naughty" "Grade me on a curve" "Maybe you need to keep me after class", etc.

I've always wondered why Eddie starts talking like this about or with his girlfriends. I was discussing it with my roommate and she said to her it sounded like an "8th grade boy sitting with his guy friends trying to talk up how he banged some chick when really it's just a ploy to make himself look good to the boys and like he's more sexually active than he actually is for social clout". And you know what? I think that's exactly what it is. Eddie speaking like this feels like overcompensation on so many levels (not to mention Marisol looks lowkey uncomfortable here, that smile is fake af). Trying to make himself seem way more into sex or kinky things (like roleplaying with a teacher or nun) than he actually is. The dialogue is cringey and Ryan overacts it because the audience isn't supposed to feel comfortable with it. It's not supposed to feel natural. It's not supposed to endear us to the couple, it's meant to feel out of place and wrong because Eddie being with Ana and Marisol was and is out of place and wrong. It feels like a performance to us because IT IS A PERFORMANCE.

This is only enhanced by the new jarring information that Eddie has apparently asked Marisol to move in with him (offscreen). Keep in mind that they've been together for (I'm assuming) less than six months, he obviously didn't discuss it with anyone since both Tommy, Buck, and Bobby later are surprised. Christopher is also noticeably absent from this episode which leads me to believe he likely didn't really discuss it with him beforehand. This choice feels simultaneously like an OOC choice AND so very in character.

It's OOC because Eddie has stated that he doesn't like performing, he doesn't want a "ready-made family" and one would think that he would sit and contemplate this seriously given that if something goes wrong, he's providing another example of a failed relationship to his son. Not to mention that living with your parent's girlfriend is a huge thing. I've been through that process before in my own life with my mom and it's really only something you do if you're really committing to a person for the long haul because that's the message that sends to your kids.

But at the same time, this is also so severely in character for Eddie. As is pointed out later, he got married to Shannon because he was guilted into it, he dated Ana because he was pressured into it, and then overcommitted to her far too fast. And now he's doing the same thing with Marisol. This is very much a PATTERN for Eddie. Maybe, as this episode suggests, it's a facet of Catholic guilt that pushes Eddie to move way too fast in his relationships. Or maybe, Eddie finds the idea of being settled with a woman comforting, and he'd be okay sacrificing his happiness and settling with any woman as long as he got to have that comforting facade. All of this points to very obvious compulsory heterosexuality for me. More on this later.

I'm going to talk more about the way the show is choosing to use physical objects, Marisol's things, as a metaphor for who Marisol is, and Eddie's willingness to receive/learn about them as a literary device later. For now, I wanna talk about the exchange of Eddie being the one to bring up "closet space", Tommy being the one to say "Aint't that the truth" and point it towards Buck, who hammers it home with his "bro" line. I find it interesting that they had Eddie say this line, when it very easily could've been Marisol (after all it is her armoire) with Tommy in the middle. Tommy (IMO) is in the center of these two men's queer realization arc. The more subtle one in the earliest stages (Eddie) and the more present one (Buck). The way all of them volleyed this dialogue felt like I was watching a choreographed play, and the lines landed perfectly.

This is also the third line in five episodes specifically poking at Eddie possibly being queer alongside Tommy and Buck. "I've never seen a man turn off a woman with such skill. it's a gift" "you both like to watch half-naked men pummel each other" and now this. "You can never have enough closet space" suggesting that not only was there Tommy in the closet in the past, Buck in the closet recently (and somewhat presently given that Buck just shoved himself and Tommy back into it), and Eddie right now still deep in that closet. Hopefully, there's enough space for all y'all!

I very much liked how this went down. Tommy has a right to break things off if the person he's with clearly exhibits weirdness around being out with you. I don't blame him for his choice here. I like that he's also not making it about the fact that's he inexperienced. Additionally, I think this is another instance of Tommy witnessing something weird between Buck and Eddie, and I'm not sure how much of that he's picking up on, or if he thinks it's generally about being perceived as queer, or just needing to slow things down and process before he actually starts a relationship with a man. All are valid, but I think it's just interesting that a lot of it had to do with Eddie yet again, and I wonder how much of that Tommy is aware of.

From the start of this conversation with Maddie, Buck makes it seem like the thing that's making him uncomfortable most is the fact that he lied to Eddie about the truth of his date with Tommy. Obviously, he's not going to immediately jump into telling Maddie the truth, and he's gotta start the conversation somewhere, but I do find it interesting that rather than seeking her advice on "how to get his date back" he instead is seeking advice on why he lied to Eddie and can't bring himself to tell him the truth.

This could be deflecting because he's not yet ready to tell Maddie. Or it could be the truth that all of this angst may stem from him still trying to get comfortable in his queerness. But the main issue that isn't sitting right with his soul is that he lied to Eddie, that he's hiding a fundamental piece of the truth of who he is from Eddie. Because to Buck it is unthinkable that Eddie doesn't always know the whole truth, all of who Buck is, at all times. At this point in their relationship, they're supposed to know everything about each other, and yet something about sharing this part of himself with Eddie in particular scares him. Could it possibly be that he's aware that sometimes "straight" men get weird around their queer male friends? Could it be that he thinks his relationship with Eddie would be negatively effected if he told Eddie this truth? I will touch more on this later. But for now, Buck makes it clear that his interest isn't wholly in getting Tommy back right now. It's making sure that all is right in his relationship with Eddie.

Once again, this choice by the writers to center Eddie in every step of the way of Buck's queer realization journey is telling. Especially given that he's able to tell Maddie without ~too~ much struggle.

I understand where Buck is coming from. It's again distancing himself from Tommy, trying to get her advice about Eddie. But also, it's an attempt by him to normalize him going on a date with a man, which should be normal, but it's not in Buck's personal historical normal.

Buck wants to believe that because he was an "ally" that that means he'd just be automatically okay with dating a man right away. But I think he's trying to push himself at a speed faster than he's comfortable with (which he again does at the end by inviting Tommy to Madney's wedding) and needs to realize that he can slow down, which is a parallel with Eddie the whole episode. Which is why I think Tommy was right to step back and give him some time. The other part that is interesting is that Buck once again appears confused about the truth of his feelings, similar to the last episode and I just find it interesting in this scene where Buck and Maddie are once again talking about Eddie at her house, it's once again ambiguous if the subject Buck's really hung up on is Tommy....or Eddie. Both are true at the same time.

Go to part 2!

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

[mileven11forever]

Hey! I disagree with you completely but I respect that you seem to be a kind and respectful Mileven. So I’m curious.

What would you say to the idea that if Mileven is endgame, based on the way the story has been written especially in S4 (with Will being in every Mileven shot, Will’s painting inspiring Mike to monologue to El, paralleling Byler to Rovickie and other ships, just the whole story of building out Will’s feelings for Mike over 4 seasons in what would be a slowburn rejection if you’re right), the Duffers have inherently crafted a homophobic and problematic story?

Most Bylers don’t just believe Byler endgame makes the most sense for the story, nor do we just believe it would be queerbaiting because of promotion outside the show. We believe the story itself is deeply problematic when viewed through a Mileven endgame lens.

The idea that this kid Will would go through all of this suffering and that they’d emphasize the bond between Mike and Will in this way… the idea that Will would say “I’m not gonna fall in love” in S3 because he doesn’t believe there’s love for gay kids like him… the idea of the painting veiled confession… the idea that the writers would have Byler literally end the season together side by side alongside other canon couples… only to have Mike reject Will in S5?

We believe that to be horribly homophobic writing, so to us it’s not simply a question of which ship we like more like other ship wars in history, but a real moral line in the sand. We believe it’s either Byler endgame, or the show falls apart, and the writers have explaining to do.

It’s not that hypothetical story of a gay kid falling in love with his straight best friend is homophobic, it’s the specific narrative choices that would be surrounding Mileven endgame in this context, each of them completely avoidabl, each of them specific decisions the writers made.

Additionally, Bylers believe Mileven endgame would A) make the show’s writing weaker and less meaningful, B) make the show make significantly less sense from a writing standpoint, and C) go against the main themes of the narrative.

Lastly, if Will were a girl, based on the way Mileven and Byler have both been written, there’s no way Milevens wouldn’t see the clear love triangle. The only reason it’s difficult for some to see it is because of heteronormativity and the idea that Mike is straight because he has a girlfriend. If you remove that, there aren’t any barriers to at least seeing the clear triangle.

Thoughts?

I honestly just disagree. I don't think there's anything wrong with the story and the way it's being told. Will being in Mileven shots in season 4 is because it was from his POV in those moments. Will's painting didn't really inspire Mike's monologue, he just helped Mike find the courage to tell El how he really feels. And I don't really see the parallels people point out as being significant proof of anything. I do think Will's story will involve being rejected by Mike, while also being accepted by Mike as a friend. That's just what his story is, that's something a lot of queer people go through, there's nothing wrong with writing a character having to deal with and overcome that. I think it'll be an important part of Will's arc and character development. I don't see anything problematic or homophobic with any of that personally.

Yes, Will has suffered a lot unfortunately, but that's just his story, that's how life is for some people. He's unlucky and has just happened to be in these awful situations throughout his life, but that has nothing to do with Mike or his feelings. It's sad, but that's just how it is. Just like Will can't control how he feels about Mike, Mike can't control how he feels either, and that he loves El and just loves Will as a friend. It sucks that Will fell for his straight best friend, but that happens lots in real life too. And yeah, Will thinks he can't have love like everyone else because of his sexuality, and because of the time and place he lives in, which sucks, but also doesn't mean that he's automatically going to end up with his childhood crush. I think he should end up with someone eventually, but I just don't think it can be Mike. He needs to learn that he can have love and be loved, but just how he can't choose his sexuality, Mike can't either. They both can't change who they are, and that's ok.

I do think the painting will come up at some point and probably lead to Will's confession to Mike, but again, that's just Will finally sharing his feelings which has nothing to do with how Mike will respond. It'll be complicated, but Mike isn't going to just suddenly fall in love with Will when he finds out the truth about the painting.

And Mike and Will stand together at the end because they're friends. Just because the other pairs happen to be couples doesn't mean Byler is going to be endgame. That would be ridiculous in my opinion. I really don't understand when Bylers look so deep into little details like this and use that as evidence, it could literally mean nothing, or something other than Byler.

Once again, I don't think the writing choices the Duffers have made are homophobic, they just want to tell Will's story a certain way, and I don't see a problem with it.

I just don't agree. I think Mileven endgame is good writing, I think Byler endgame would make no sense. Mileven doesn't make the messages of the show any less meaningful in my opinion.

And yeah, I think that's probably true for some people. Heteronormativity is very prevalent and some people are definitely in denial about the obvious love triangle. I accept that there is a love triangle there, I just don't agree with a lot of people on how it will be resolved. Will likes Mike, El likes Mike, and Mike likes El. That's how I see it. I feel like the show has made this clear, and it's obvious which couple is actually happening in the canon story. Some Bylers just read a lot of meaning into things that I don't think was meant to be read like that.

If anyone has anything else to add, leave a comment or reblog this post.

[leader-of-grandys]

Okay it seems like rlly unpopular opinion in this fandom. I mean I saw a lot of fics, hdcs and posts where leroux!Erik is bi, pan or straighty and always very like VERY horny and very into all that stuff

but

BUT

I'll duplicate some of the thoughts that I wrote earlier. I personally see leroux!Erik as 1000% asexual because c’mon. This man is afraid of touching esp touching women. For him the biggest joy was INNOCENT KISS on the forehead. And judging by his wishes about his marriage where all he does is going for walkies while holding hands, singing and showing magic tricks is….. you know….. This speaks volumes. I bet he doesn't even think about other more physical aspects, for him it is just a fluffy romantic fantasy (and he's prob read hell of a lot snotty romantic novels while kicking his legs and screaming in pillow). He seeks romantic love and he wants to be loved and accepted as he is, but I see it as purely platonic feelings, not physical. And honestly how he treats Christine and calls her my angel, my saviour and all that stuff????? He idealises her to the core and sees her almost like a divine being - pure and kind. Do you really think that he would project his fantasies on her????? (but I highly doubt that he even has them and I see him as a castrato but its a whole different topic for another day) Do you think he would even allow himself to do that???? I bet he would just roll on the floor like sopping wet cat and scream that he's not allowed to touch this pure being with his disgusting cadaverous hands. Erik was SHOCKED that someone WILLINGLY touched him without running away, showed him compassion and understanding even despite his abuse and threats. All that because he thought he didn't deserve it, that he is so ugly that he can't be treated like a normal human being.

Also about that marriage stuff. I think Erik didn't desire the marriage as most ppl do. For him its just a way to prove that he is like everyone else because wakie wakie, it is a 19th century's heteronormative society where if you are single and were never married at almost 50 years old, then something is deeply wrong with you. Erik didn't want to marry in a first place - for him it's just an instrument to fit in in a strict society that rejected him. Honestly its sooooo autistic coded for me (I'm autistic btw). Dude just went too hard in attempt to fit in but failed miserably. Another thing for me that strikes is that the marriage for Erik could be seen as a guarantee that the person he loves will never leave him (bc divorces at that time were an awfully difficult procedure, you know). He was so insecure about himself, scared to death that he would be abandoned, betrayed, and rejected again and then boom, there's a guarantee drop, a wonderful idea that everyone praised and romanticised in all books. Marriage. You don't have to handcuff anyone to the battery and cry on the floor praying not to leave you because the law will do it for you. I think you see where I'm going. I also have high suspicions where's Erik really felt love or he was so lonely and depressed at that point of his life that he accepted an ordinary friendship and politeness as a pure and beautiful love to the grave (literally) and the only chance for happiness. When Christine didn't suspect a thing, he already drew in his diary himself walking with her in the park and framing it with hearts while lying on the bed like a schoolgirl. Again very autistic trait that I've noticed in myself. To think that you are a genius and have thought everything 10 steps ahead, that the person will act according to your plan and that the regular good word (said purely out of politeness by the person who is not interested in you) is the beginning of a great unbreakable friendship for the ages. If you know you know. I rlly see it as Erik imagined himself castles in the air and saw his deep desire for friendship and acceptance as true love. Because all pll are saying that love is great so it 100% must be it, right? ...........................right? The problem with interpreting your true emotions and feelings are unironically hard. Phew, okay. What I'm trying to say is that I see leroux!Erik as an asexual autistic individual. I don't say that it's canon and theres the only way to view this character because what I say is based not only on my unbiased analysis but also on my neurodivergent experience and kinda similar life problems (but much, MUCH LESS serious and with access to therapy and treatment). Pls don't write mean things to me if you disagree, you have your right to do so but do it outside my askbox. I’m open to discussion but not conflicts. Thanks

[luulapants]

a friend of mine was dating a guy that was 5'8", and he was convinced women didn't like him because of his height. he talked about it a LOT. my friend straight up did not care about his height, but his obsessive self-consciousness was a huge turn-off, so she dumped him.

he insisted she dumped him for being too short.

i dated a very nice woman but she was awkward and not making moves like i normally expect. it made me feel like i must be doing something wrong. on our fifth date, she confessed that she'd never dated a woman before and was afraid to tell me because i wouldn't want to date a "baby gay." i dumped her because she was obviously not good at honest communication.

she insisted i dumped her for being a baby gay.

i just saw another post going around about biphobic lesbians who won't date bi women, and i do see shitty people in the notes. i sort of assume they're chronically online teenagers because in my 20 years in the queer community, i've never met a lesbian who didn't date bi women.

most of the women i've dated were bi. that's true for most lesbians - that's just how statistics work. i almost married a bi woman. i've also dumped bi women who expected dating me to be the same as dating a man, who approached relationships in deeply heteronormative ways, which is something i don't enjoy and don't want for myself. i wonder if any of them think they were dumped because they're bi.

i see bi women on dating apps whose entire profile is clearly directed at men, and i wonder how many of them see the lack of matches from women as proof of biphobia.

idk, i'm probably stepping on a landmine here. i know the biphobic lesbians exist. i don't think they're nearly as big a problem as the internet would lead you to believe. and maybe before accusing lesbians of being biphobic, look at the way you approach dating and ask if the space you've made for a partner is at all suited to a lesbian.

[thistlearts]

I'm tired of people who say "Preferring strict top/bottom dynamics in fiction and in life is heteronormativity, and it's just boring" Firstly, any consensual preferences are fine. And secondly, you never know the reasoning behind anyone's preference. In my case, it's a deeply rooted trauma response after being guilt-tripped, coerced and technically raped (which took me years to understand and accept that that was the issue) into topping an older and more experienced partner, when I didn't want it, but was manipulated into this through vocally doubting if I'm man enough (I'm trans), shaming me for being "lazy and selfish" actually for being "heteronormative" too and "not queer enough" and many other ways that made me think I'm all of the above and try my best to perform something I didn't feel like doing and didn't want to do at all, as a chore and even as a way to prove myself worthy without even understanding what was done to me and how cruel and toxic it was. And it lasted for quite some time because I thought I was in the wrong and didn't walk away. They were older and more experienced, and I believed them. I quite literally believed every word they said about me. And spent years trying to prove the opposite. It led to severe mental trauma that had huge, long-lasting consequences on my life. Including being agonizingly ashamed of my body, of my sexual preference (I prefer masc dominant tops) and constantly feeling that I'm not enough on so many levels. And believing that I have to play pretend to be at least a switch to be "good enough". It lead to self harm, addiction (I literally had to drink or drug myself to feel ok during sex) and lots of other consequences. Yes, such stories happen too. In fact, they are not as rare as it might seem. So it hits even stronger when someone tells me I can't even read what feels safe and pleasurable for me it hits hard. When I found out (years later) I'm reciprosexual over than demisexual it made many things even more clear to me. But also, made me even angrier.

[fushiglow]

Hello glow!!! Thank you for another lovely satosugu work! :)

I absolutely love how real and tangible your writing is - seeing them start with different states of being turned on and building together really paints such a lovely picture of what intimacy is without the expectation of a perfect start-stop :) 3 cheers to realistic sexual dynamics!

Also, I think that your link at the end of your post goes to Violent Delights instead - but maybe that's just an issue on my end!

Thank you so much for this lovely feedback (and the heads up about the link), I can't tell you how much your words cheered me on Friday! They came at a time I really needed to hear them so, if you don't mind, I'm going to use this ask as an opportunity to say a few things about my writing and why I do what I do — no obligation to respond!

Quite honestly, I have been feeling a little anxious about how I'm perceived as a writer recently. When Over the Threshold started gathering some steam in January, I only had five published works on AO3 posted over the course of six months. By the end of August, I'll have 18 published works for Jujutsu Kaisen, 16 of which will be complete. I have never been this productive in a fandom before!

A lot of the reason for that is because I'm finally learning how to work with my AuDHD brain. I love writing, I really do, and I'm constantly excited by the possibilities that reside within my brain. I have more ideas than I have time or hands to write them, but I want to explore as many of those ideas as possible. In the past, I would have forced myself to stick to the thing that I was "supposed" to write, rather than following the burst of inspiration and writing the thing that I "wanted" to write. To no one's surprise, that usually meant I ended up writing nothing at all.

I'm someone who seeks out challenges, and all the fics I've published in 2024 have been experimental in some way. Come Get Your Honey was a challenge in extended metaphor. Balance was a challenge in seamlessly blending two very different universes. Mailman AU was a challenge in format. Violent Delights was a challenge in pushing myself to new and uncomfortable places. Thunder was a challenge in encapsulating an entire world and history within a single motif without ever actually seeing that world and history.

I'm really proud of every single one of those works, as well as the speed I've written them at. I've published 92k words on AO3 already this year and written far more, so I feel like I can no longer justifiably call myself a slow writer. However, all the works mentioned above have artistic merit in the more traditional sense — i.e. they're not smut.

At the time of writing this, three of my five most recent works contain sexual content with varying degrees of explicitness, and it's hard to escape that pervasive (and flawed) idea that smut is "less serious" as a form of writing. Even writing smut in the first place has been a slow process of overcoming some of my own biases. However, sex is part of the spectrum of human experiences, and it's also deeply political. Whenever I explore it in my writing, you can be sure that I always have that at the forefront of my mind. That's why these works, too, have represented something new and challenging and exciting for me.

Discreet Delivery was the first piece containing explicit sexual content that I ever shared publicly and, with how rife top/bottom discourse is in this fandom (most of which is based on heteronormative ideals that I vehemently disagree with), I really wanted to make a statement straight out of the gate. I'm very proud of how I managed to weave a switch/vers narrative into a oneshot, and the feedback on it was wonderful.

Headroom, however, presented a very different kind of challenge. It was extremely difficult to write, because it doesn't follow the beats of a traditional sex scene. There's no satisfaction for Satoru nor for the readers, and that made it tricky to keep it engaging. I was also very nervous about showing a different side of these beloved AU characters and establishing a new dynamic between them while incorporating some of the broader themes from Over the Threshold.

Finally, Tell Me I'm Pretty was pure subversion, writing Suguru in particular in a way I've never seen before to challenge expectations about "roles" in sex. It meant I had no blueprint to work from, but I'm not interested in reproducing the same dynamics I've read a thousand times. However, that also means that I felt very anxious about how people would receive this fic — especially on GeGo Day.

The truth is, everything I write I write for myself first and foremost, but it's hard to keep sight of that when you're blessed with an engaged audience. This is a huge reason why updates to Over the Threshold take time. This fic is deeply important and deeply personal to me, but its growing popularity adds a pressure that I don't want to influence my writing. I feel a constant underlying need to outdo myself with every new fic and chapter I post, but that's unrealistic and unachievable.

Obviously, I want readers to enjoy what I write, but I know the moment I start writing for other people is the moment my writing suffers. That's the main reason why I'm reluctant to put anything behind a paywall, even if I feel frustrated with the way fanfics are casually consumed on the internet. Readers occasionally make demands of me without any respect for my time and effort and creative vision, and sometimes I look at what I've written and think, "Am I really going to give that away for free?". However, asking for anything beyond tips would change the game for me. Enjoying my writing is far more valuable to me, at least at this point in time.

All of this is to say: I really loved writing Tell Me I'm Pretty. I had a blast with it — until it came time to post, at which point I suddenly felt full of self-doubt. For you to appear in my inbox and tell me that you appreciated the realism of the intimacy in this fic? I couldn't have asked for anything more, thank you so much ♥️

TL;DR, I write for myself, but god, it's the best feeling in the world when readers resonate with my writing. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to let me know. I love you all to the moon and back!

[sailorblossoms-snowbaz]

Said this before but there's something about Baz not really feeling close to anyone, feeling completely disconnected from his surroundings ("because he's dead and he can't connect with the living, they all have something he doesn't have" he says, talking about vampirism, but it's also how good ol' depression can be like) while Simon is obsessed with being close to him, specifically. All that following him around everywhere, keeping tabs on him, growing restless if Baz isn't around or if he doesn't know what Baz is doing – already telling us he's concerned about Baz's safety and wellbeing – wanting to be on Baz's mind as much as Baz is in his own, wanting to be part of Baz's hobbies. Wanting to be the person who knows him best, and fighting for that whenever he feels he has competition for Baz's heart.

I'm equally thrilled and haunted by “as soon as Baz is unhappy, I can’t think of anything else,” which Simon shares in awtwb alongside something like "I want to make it better. The mere idea is very thrilling to me." I don't doubt Simon would've been obsessed with Baz regardless because it’s Baz, but this stands out in hindsight, because Baz was in a constant state of sadness... And Simon thought about him all the time. Again, he was obsessed either way... but Baz’s sadness must have driven him crazy (it’s another thing where they match, as Simon carries profound sadness too) (Watford and being a hero brings happiness for Simon, but he’s desperately holding on to roles and expectations that do make him miserable. Heteronormativity fucks him up.)

Can't help but wonder about Simon's "Baz has only 3 expressions and they're all variations of disgust towards me" ... because we know he's bullshitting. At this point, he has been "observing Baz's soul" (which he uses as an argument as Baz "being alive" later in CO) meaning that he knows very well Baz has much more depth. That he feels much more deeply. He has seen it in the catacombs. He has heard it in his music, he has seen it in the ways he plays, in the passion with which he studies, etc etc. It must’ve been one of his greatest desires, inaccessible and impossible to decode to the Simon he was back then, for the alluring, competent little jerk he was rooming with to look at him with anything other than a practiced mask of "disdain." For him to let Simon in (Simon not listening to Baz basically confessing he's a vampire because Baz is pushing him away vs being all ears when he's letting him in) instead of having Simon follow him everywhere (when Simon thinks he's enchanted by him and would follow him anywhere in WS, it hits, because he has been that all along, hasn't he.) For him to not be so pained all the time (Simon notes, when Baz plays his violin after they have sex, that he didn't even know it could make happy sounds, that it always sounded sad in Watford).

Where Baz feels cold and disconnected, Simon yearns to connect with him (to keep him warm. It's a whole thing, Simon noticing his literal coldness and using his own body to warm him up, with hands, with lips) Awtwb brings up lots of desires, including those that have been buried for a long time. And one of those is the following: Simon wants Baz to be happy. And he wants to be the one making him happy.