#and now people who learned about fandom in that era and people who ENTERED fandom in that era

[storm-and-starlight]

I think also that a big part of it was that teenage girls were some of the first ones to openly be fannish in a very particular and very unsubtle way -- when I was a teenager, I was a Supernatural fan, and Literally Everyone Knew It. I wore SPN-themed jewelry, I wore SPN-themed clothes, I never shut up about the show, etc. etc. etc. and I knew of a fair few other people who acted the exact same way about their own fandoms.

And I think that that period of time in the mid-2000's/early 2010's was when fandom went from being a niche, relatively unknown hobby to being, if not mainstream, then at least known about by a lot more people (I blame Misha Collins), and that kind of teenage girl fan was the loudest and therefore one of the most visible parts of fandom, and so a lot of people thought that that was all there was to fandom, and it just. stuck.

wild thing about all those "why are people over 30 still in fandom" posts is that the idea of fandom (in the sense of writing fic etc) being a youth subculture or even a hobby that was particularly accepting of young people is insanely recent, like, last 20 years at most. prior to that not only was fandom overwhelmingly both driven and populated by people well into adulthood, but if you were a teen trying to write or discuss fic on livejournal or usenet you almost certainly avoided telling people your age, not only because that was general best practice for minors on the internet at the time but because you'd have felt very out of place if all those grownups had known you were a kid, and in fact there's a good chance they would have banned you from whatever community you were trying to participate in. the way that state of affairs managed to get memory-holed so completely we've transitioned to one where a lot of people think fanfiction is and has always been a hobby for teenagers that some unusually childish adults just never grow out of is genuinely bizarre

[deanswhiskeyglass]

Figured i should introduce myself finally

My name is Jaymes/Jamie/Ash! Any of those are fine, ash(ly)is my real name but I’ve gone by the first two on the internet so long so I don’t mind it. My pronouns are he/him, she/her!

this acc is mainly just used for shitposting about my interests (currently spn) which i have quite a bit of!!

I’ve been in the spn fandom almost 5 years now, which is genuinely crazy to think about; 5 years and the love for this show just hasn’t faded away.

Here’s a quick list of my interests, feel free to comment if you have the same interests! I love meeting new people >:]

supernatural, djats, iwtv, 60s - 80s era of music, guitar, drums, reading, writing, horseback riding, welding, homesteading, drawing, collecting vinyls, gardening, photography, moshing, going 2 shows, making music, and drag racing!

I spend a LOOT of time at the drag race track or horseback riding, and i mostly run off of caffeine (mainly monsters & iced coffee)

Some facts about me; I love homesteading and have a LOOOT of chickens.

I’m currently trying to enter into rodeos, doing barrels and poles. Maybe some western pleasure.

I really LOVE iced coffee

I LOOOVE 70s classic rock. Literally the epitome of rock right before the 80s and i will never shut up about the history of rock n roll.

I’m learning to weld, i will be in college for it soon, so i can make it into a career :)

I do other types of gardening and dabble in a few other natural things 🍃

i love working on cars and trucks, mainly from the 70s, 80s and 90s eras

I have 7 dogs and 15 cats, i run a private rescue :)

Anyways, that’s me! I have tons of other show related hyperfixations so you’re free to ask me questions! I’m generally super nice, i just don’t fw incest shippers and people who ship real people 🤷‍♀️

[add-v-bae]

Hi. I'm sure that nobody expected me to come back, and I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting to. I'm just so disgusted with recent events that I want to post my thoughts in a location where anybody will understand what I'm talking about, as nobody in my day to day life even really tolerates kpop

As everybody knows, a lot has happened recently. And yeah, I've got a lot of emotions. I'm devastated to find out how much of a disgusting human Taeil is, and just in general, the wave of disgusting misogyny that's been going on in South Korea is absolutely horrifying.

However, I'm here to talk about my disgust in the state of kpop fans and the abysmal behavior some show. Mind you, i know very well that its very much not everyone. I've spent enough time in the community to know that there are plenty of people who are capable of being normal about their relationship with the idols, even while being a stan who cares about nothing but them. I have a history of parasocial relationships and I firmly believe that you can absolutely obsess over celebrities without being a psychopath. That being said, it's also a very fine line and I've seen some absolutely disgusting shit here.

None of these men belong to you. None of these men owe you a fucking thing. They are there to make you music, give you dances that you can enjoy, and serve you looks, depending on your style per era. They don't owe you abstinence and this is frankly something I've hated even while I was frequenting this site. I know full well that i personally have gotten a little too deep into shipping and crushing on idols. Do you know what happened during the two time an idol that i obsessed over/shipped with people referred to being in a relationship while being an idol? I felt a pang of disappointment and then I decided that as long as they're happy, I'm happy. Do you know what happened to them? One of them could only talk about it after leaving the industry, and the other lost their contract at their company. There's absolutely zero reason why an idol can't live their life alongside being an idol. They're not dolls, they're human beings with human lives.

Now, I left the community years ago. I still listen to the songs I used to listen to, but that's about the extent of where my kpop Fandom journey is anymore. I've also technically started rewriting some of the story ideas I had while excluding the kpop aspects, but that's an entirely different thing.

However, I do still like the occasional kpop post on Twitter, and today, my page was full of learning of a man named Seunghan from a band Riize. I've never heard of him, nor have I heard of this band prior to this controversy. However, the shit that's going on with this is unreal. You're telling me that this 21 year old got bullied into going on hiatus because he smoked a cigarette and dated someone? And then as soon as he came back, people sent funeral wreaths to SM over it? That's abhorrent. The girlfriend thing I've already touched on, he doesn't owe you anything, let alone abstinence from a time before he was famous. The cigarette, sure that's not good. Death threats are so much worse?? Most people have done something bad at some point in their life that doesn't at all reflect who they are now, and frankly, even if he still smokes, what the fuck are you helping with this behavior? Show concern, don't act like he's your fucking doll who's not acting how you want.

I'll be honest, I don't think the people that have or currently follow me are the kinds of people to do this thing. However, if somehow one of the people who engaged in this see this (especially those girls dancing in front of the wreaths uggggh), in complete, 100% seriousness, get some fucking help. You're entering into a parasocial state that is far beyond the acceptable state and has passed into psychotic behavior, and you need to find how to work that out because you've already emotionally hurt people and you're well on your way to physically hurting people, if you haven't already.

And if you haven't been one of the people who have been doing this but you don't see a problem with it, you get some help too. You might feel that you're not doing anything to anybody but as far as I'm concerned, you're just as part of the fucking problem. You might not have engaged in this action, but you very well could to other idols in the future, or God forbid people in your life. This kind of obsession can very easily translate over to behaviors and entitlement to partners, friends, family, none of which are people you're entitled to either. I couldn't fathom looking at this and feeling like this is at all okay.

I can't say if I'm gonna uninstall Tumblr and go back to staying my nose out of things or if I'm going to pop in once and a while as a casual, especially since I'm sure my page has been dead long enough that nobody cares if I come back but I got so heated over this that I needed to put all my thoughts out there, even if nobody sees it

[outivv]

I would rather not get too much into the wuwa vs genshin vs r1999 because each game has their own pros and cons. But I'll say this much about these three games.

Genshin representation is getting to a point where it's now becoming a racist Fandom, especially on genshintwt. These fuckers harrased and made fun of a Hawaiian because all she did was to show how Maulani is EXTREMELY whitewash. Both her and her brother are no longer on twt due to constant racism. (Doesn't help the fact that Maulani and her tribe are the stereotype of the "nice welcoming Hawaiian"). With every excuse that these racist would always use, "it's fiction it not suppose to be reality". The same can be said for HSR

r1999 does have good representation on LGBTQIA, sexual oritentation, and having characters that aren't just pasty white. HOWEVER, as many people have stated, we have yet to have a black person. They have mentioned Black historical figures such as Louise Armstrong but not yet a playable character. It's also doesn't help that in one city they have an area called "Cotton Club". The last time they had a POC was in 1.3 as of right now, at least in CN service, it is now 2.0 and there hasn't been another Black or brown character. Those who do have brown skin are usually the "ambiguous brown" (take a look a Joe)

Wuwa...I'm just gonna say this much. Kuro games has a history of being generous. We see this in PGR so for veteran players their generosity is nothing new. Representation wise....it's a not that great but its not bad. While they do have some brown and dark skin (really depends if you see their skin as ashy or not with the exception of Vonnegut) characters, they still follow some Oritentalism as well as not having another Black or Brown character for awhile. Seeing how they are open to new cultures and how they listen to feedback we can only wait to see if they are going fix their mistakes or not.

Each game has their fair share if criticism. However to say r1999 has "better" representation than Genshin is a stretch. They have a good set of diverse characters but no Black Characters despite the fact they have entered an era based of the Roaring 20s.

Off topic the only CN game I have see that has Black Characters is Dislyte. At the beginning they did have racist stereotypes but they learned from their mistakes. And there are some ambiguous brown/Black Characters. Moroyama and Yalina for example.

I agree, I should probably word myself better when talking about the games as to not seem so- like putting one on a pedestal cause they all have their pros and cons (though genshin is bottom of the barrel dogshit in terms of rep)

I love Dislyte though, they genuinely seemed to have improved a lot in terms of how they represent characters, and people, and just overall cultures- and I’m honestly really happy with that. The Dislyte fandom is like… microscopic I feel BAHAJHAHA, so I haven’t heard much in terms of criticisms for them, so I won’t speak on that because I don’t know- and I’m just not aware :’)

[writers-in-moominvalley]

You might have gotten an ask like this before but I think it's unfair how snufkin often gets misrepresented in moomin media/fandom as either a deus ex machina type of wise traveler whos never wrong, or some sort of awkward teen who's "scared of socializing" could you perhaps analyze the nuances in his character?

I held off on answering this ask for a bit because Snufkin has honestly become such a nebulous character to me after a while that I barely have the motivation to properly discuss him. But now I've finally come to the right mindset to talk about his character;

Snufkin was... A few things in the books. A few very different things, actually.

His character is very notably different between the first half of the books (Comet in Moominland through Moominpappa's Memoirs) and the second half of the books (Moominsummer Madness through Moominvalley in November). These 2 eras of Snufkin make for an interesting character to ponder about even if he isn't as prominent as other characters (ironic, considering he's the first character anyone would know of when entering the fandom and is practically its figurehead)

Snufkin in his first era was... A very regular child with a much happier disposition, he tended to kick the shins of those who are about to say something they shouldn't and had very strange preferences and lifestyle but he was still very much a child unburdened by having to socialize or talk to people. He became quick friends with Moomintroll not because he exemplified an ideal that Moomintroll hoped for - but because he was so gosh-darn friendly and fun to be around.

He claimed himself a tramp and a poet when first meeting Moomintroll and Sniff and tried very dearly to be of help to them along the journey, even consoling Sniff when his plan to nab some garnets went awry, and he continues to be a good-natured fellow and a quick thinker throughout Finn Family Moomintroll. In Moominpappa's Memoirs he was absolutely mesmerized by the idea of his father and wanted to learn as much as he could about him, and arguably taking to idolizing him for both their similarities and simply how cool and punk he considered him.

Snufkin was also a story-teller throughout and contained more wisdom in his self than even some of the adults likely due to his traveling making him accumulate stories and practical knowledge that others wouldn't even think to explore.

Much of Snufkin's "tragedy" boils down to being orphaned so young that he didn't even imagine having parents of his own, thinking that he just came to existence in some basket one day and was found by some unknown "they", whoever they are, but that tragedy is quickly resolved as he reunites with his family in the epilogue of Moominpappa's Memoirs. He also took to traveling out of Moominvalley with great eagerness, it was more of a sudden decision and he didn't seem apologetic about it at all - he wanted so much to go somewhere new again, he was excited!

And it wasn't a goodbye forever, he promised to return in the spring when everyone was going to wake up. Perhaps he found that hibernation just wasn't for him and would rather take the lonely but exciting alternative, who knows! He's just a jolly little lad!

But then came Moominsummer Madness where we are presented with a more mature Snufkin, suddenly taking after his father with his smoking and anti-park terrorism but also after his mother with his care for an impossible amount of children. Although he didn't ring as excitable in tone as before, he still had conviction and a small sense of whimsy in him, he still cared deeply and wanted to be kind and it was almost too easy for him to take on a very parental role for the Woodies. He also still exhibited his greater knowledge of the world through knowing exactly what a play is and how it works.

We lack him in Moominland Midwinter, but he becomes a very romantic subject in Moomintroll's mind, reading his letter a bit too many times and imagining what it's like in the south - even declaring to go and meet him before the reality of winter hits him in the face. Those thoughts are very sporadic and short-lived however, as he has everything about the foreign land of Winter to worry about.

We then have the luxury of having 3 whole chapters mainly featuring Snufkin, The Spring Tune, The Last Dragon in the World and Cedric, all of which place him on the higher ground, whether as a philosophical authority or someone to be impressed. He's clearly depicted as a more closed-off character, much different than the younger Snufkin we knew in the first half of the series.

Where he was excited to make new friends who've stumbled onto his camp in Comet in Moominland, he's totally apprehensive of a Creep invading his space. Where he tried to help make Sniff feel better by looking on the bright side of things and relented when Sniff countered him with his real lament in Comet in Moominland, he lectures to him a story and is too stubborn to stop it when Sniff is clearly disinterested and keeps interjecting.

Finally, Moominvalley in November made him very... Restless in his need for isolation. He hated or atleast disliked these people he was stuck with without even knowing them properly, he freaks out at the sight of signs that only tell the name of Moominhouse and he felt watched by the others even in the safety of his tent. But he grew out of it, his main motif was his harmonica and he kept playing and playing and playing it throughout the book, he became an inspiration to the Fillyjonk, he was a partner in Mymble's act during the party, he helped the Hemulen sail his boat for the first time.

He learned to coexist with new people again. After a long time of getting too used to a family as understanding as the Moomins, he finally formed new bonds with new people, and when the snow came it was his time to depart as the second-to-last person left in the Valley, even if he never got to see the Moomins that time. Toft pondered if Snufkin understood that Toft was meant to be the only one to greet the Moomins upon their return, or even that he understood even more than that.

Snufkin is still a kind person through it all, an unwilling inspiration to others now too, but even when he's become so terribly closed off from others he still makes the choice to help and make the right choice in the end.

He's changed a great deal throughout the books, but his integrity remains all the same.

-

Snufkin in the comics, on the other hand...

Is just kind of there? For about... 4 comics out of the 21 that Tove made?

I mean, not to diminish him, he's still spoken about as though he's Moomintroll's best friend in The Conscientious Moomins but he lacks any stay them. In Moomin and the Brigands and Moomin in Family Life (literally the first 2 comics of the strip), he seems very similar to how he was in the first half of the books, he's very quirky and happy to lend a paw whenever he should. He spouts about using money to plant trees all Lorax-like and barely helps in Moomintroll and Sniff's endeavors (he's characterized as more of a nuisance in Brigands, really), and he becomes an object to impress for Moominpappa because of Moominpappa's emphasis on wanting exciting things to happen in the comics. Snufkin's still a wise guy but he left before we got much of him.

And then we have the Conscientious Moomins and Moomin and the Golden Tail where he's characterized more familiarly to anyone who's watched the 90s series, Moomintroll goes to him whenever he needs advice or to 'get away from it all', and he's super willing to help others with jobs even if he and his lifestyle doesn't fit into the conscientious life. In Golden Tail he keeps asking Moomintroll to fish with him and he becomes the one source of normalcy in the story before being torn away because Moomintroll's fame is interfering with even his friendships. Snufkin is characterized as a support mechanism in these comics.

He's very likeable as a character but like almost everyone else in the comics, he's Not That Deep, Bro.

-

I think the reason why Snufkin gets characterized as dues ex machina who solves problems most of the time is because those adaptations lean into him being The Smart One With Outside Knowledge a bit too hard, however when you look at the 90s series as a whole his characterization there is only seemingly not-good because the series has an overall problem of not letting its characters express themselves, and he gets involved in much more stories than he actually was in the source material so I could hazard a guess that the writers - based on not only Tove's Snufkin but also Lars' Snufkin which continued Contentious/Golden Tail Snufkin's characterization - would reason that since Snufkin was Like That in the comics then he could easily also be like that in their own stories.

Shin Mūmin made an egregious use of the Snufkin-ex-machina card because they aged him up and they reshaped him into a traveling and helpful loner archetype who knows what he's doing 99% of the time, however they did what the 90s series couldn't and actually made him emotional which very much saves his character in my eyes.

Moominvalley 2019 started Snufkin's character in Tales From Moominvalley aswell as Moominsummer Madness and that pretty much dictated his personality for the rest of the show. Because Moomintroll was meant to be a teenager who acted like he did in the comic alot, I could easily believe that the writers also trying to rein Snufkin in by making him more relatable or more like a real teenager. Perhaps they also wanted to stray from Snufkin's previous characterization as a deus-ex-machina character and Gary Sue by going into the other end of the spectrum, but given how Moominvalley2019 is with the rest of the cast... It ended up a little too much.

While I admit Snufkin is a very interesting character and I can see how he's good enough to be a fan favorite, I don't have any plans on delving into him much further when there's other things that interest me. As I said, he's become a nebulous character to me - and no matter how much I read or watch about him in the source and licensed material and get happy to see him, there's always going to be that half of my brain that keeps reminding me about his fans and how fanon has took hold of him that there's really nothing but indifference whenever I think about delving into his character.

I wrote most of this based on memory with some occasional checking so I may have gotten some things wrong, and even when I read or watch stuff with him in it, my attention usually goes to things other than him. It's not because of an inherent fault in his character, really, it's just a tragedy of the fandom tainting my enjoyment of him in general. So... Let this be my one full-length analysis of him.

[chaos0pikachu]

okay, so, regarding this post -> https://www.tumblr.com/chaos0pikachu/730266845520805888?source=share and your tags on it i just wanted to say that i've had similar thoughts while watching; like, i don't interact with the fanbase too much - i don't go into the tag for example - so i can't completely speak to that but the way the show treats Boston not wanting a monogamous romantic relationship is bizarre to me, this constant judgement towards him not wanting to date, calling him cold and uncaring, and overall acting like he needs that kind of relationship.....and just, huh? what makes it worse (to me, anyway) is that the "mouthpiece" for this is mostly Cheum for some reason? the only woman who is more than just "the bartender" or "the girlfriend", i don't know, i don't like it

i have more thoughts on this but this is already enough rambly thoughts to drop in somebody's inbox + putting thoughts into coherent writing is my enemy, aksisosisi, hope you have a great day <3

So I'ma say something potentially controversial but whatever time to let the chaos freak flag fly and all that shit.

I think Only Friends is strangely puritanical all things considered. I was talking with a mutual the other day about this, how Mew ended up "corrupted" in a sense after his first experience with sex went sour via Top's cheating/Boston's friend betrayal, and his "corruption" as a character that follows that betrayal is him hooking up with people, and having non-monogamous sex. Like, Top and Boston hurt Mew, no doubt, but his "villain era" as it were is all tied into sex now; using sex as power. He hooks up with Drake to get access to Boston's revenge porn, then uses that revenge porn as "punishment" against Boston by threatening to show his father. He makes out with Ray as a means to "punish" Top, it's not "sex" in the traditional sense, but it's dangling the possibility that he's going to have sex with Ray - someone Top has historically been jealous of and has disliked - as a means of punishment.

The thoroughline here is Boston and Top are being "punished" for their sexual indiscretion, Mew's newfound power is using sex as a means of retribution, and the endgame would be Top finding redemption in his "love" for Mew and Mew either learning to forgive him or learning to move on from him; either way the endgame is monogamy opposed to non-monogamy. Monogamy will "heal/cure" Top who has found solace and growth in falling in love with Mew, while Mew will go back to his "real" personality - one that doesn't revel in tormenting others, and acting self-destructive - once they go back to monogamy and give up casual sex with others.

At this point, I'm only half blaming fandom for these takes b/c the show is reinforcing them. Boston's flaws are all tied to his "whoring" rather than anything with more nuance. Does Boston act out b/c his father mistreat him? Does Boston just not want to be monogamous and is frustrated people - including his friends!! - constantly slut shame him for it (but for some reason don't slut shame Ray who is also having casual sex BUT is romantically in love with Mew meaning Ray would give up casual sex if it meant he could have Mew while Boston actively doesn't WANT a romantic relationship)? Lol nope, no further nuance for Boston he's just an evil slut.

Which would also even be fine IF there was some contrast to balance it out. Like, if Sand, who is probably the most well adjusted of the characters had casual sex and preferred non-monogamy. But we all know Ray and Sand are endgame (which is a different problem I have that's more Wastonian than Sherlockian). Their endgame is the ending of casual fwb sex and entering a "real" relationship. Top and Mew are probably on the same path as well. Top no longer wants casual sex he wants a "real" relationship with Mew, he's fuckboi ways are cured! All his boundary pushing, and inconsideration of Mew are all gone now b/c Top was cured by Mew's bussy in their dry toast first time.

Chuem is supposed to be the shows Voice of Reason, she's acting as an audience surrogate; when she says Top is trying we're supposed to take her words at face value, when she says drugs are bad for Ray we're supposed to agree with her, when she calls Boston a whore we're supposed to believe he is, a whore (derogatory).

I've seen a lot of people say we have to "have trust in Jojo". Idk why. Firstly, Jojo isn't even the only writer or director on the show. Den (War of Y, Playboyy) and Best (Moonlight Chicken, Bad Buddy, Never Let Me Go) are fellow screenwriters and I honestly think all 3 of their writing styles aren't meshing well together. There's also another director on staff as well. This isn't Jojo's show wholly.

Second, I haven't watched The Warp Effect, or 3 Will Be Free, or Never Let Me go. Thirdly, even the best directors and screenwriters have flops, you follow someone's career enough they will make a flop it just is what it is no one bats 100 all the time.

In the end, what I'm getting from Only Friends is the root cause for all the drama isn't things like selfishness, or inconsideration of others it's sex, specifically non-monogamous sex. It showcases itself in the development of Top and Mew's relationship, and also in Boston's char - if Boston wasn't such a whore maybe people wouldn't make sex tapes of him without his knowledge, why else would he be punished with them later? We're supposed to view Mew's actions as justified (and fandom does!) and see Boston hooking up with Top as a greater violation than Mew threatening to show Boston's dad his revenge porn! - And I find that really puritanical.

Now, I'm gonna give the show SOME grace b/c things could turn around depending on the ending. Like I think this is a show I won't 100% have a fully rounded opinion on until the end, so this is how I feel as of right now. It could change, and I hope it does.

[chaotictarlos]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Thank you both for the asks! I love this little game! It's always nice to have a reason to brag about my writing or shine some light on fics I wished people looked at more. In no particular order, here's a list of mine.

You took the best of my heart and left the rest in pieces - This is one of my favorite fics that I've written in this fandom. It's a character study and exploration of emotions through Carlos' POV of the breakup era. I enjoy writing the breakup era and writing the boys getting back together, and how each of them make their way back to the other. This is the first part in a series of what will be three fics. It can also be read on it's own. (I'm currently working on the TK POV one but real life has been busy lately)

I’ve always dreamed of me and you, now here we are - summary: It's a tale as old as time, meeting the right person but during the wrong time of life. TK Strand and Carlos Reyes dated in college but parted ways when they graduated, not knowing they would ever see each other again. Six years later, Carlos is working as a social worker in Travis County and TK has just accepted a position as a professor at The University of Texas at Austin. They run into each other when a mutual friend invited TK out for the evening. This is a fic that I've taken a pause on because of some truly nasty people who, instead of not reading, decided that they wanted to send hateful words my way. I want to get back into this fic, I have so many ideas for it and how I want them to eventually end up back together. I have the next chapter written and ready to post, I've just been anxious about it.

With love, your soulmate - summary: Carlos Reyes doesn’t think he has a soulmate. In the 22 years he had been alive he had never found anything that would tell him otherwise. At first, it bothered him that he was seemingly without anyone and that there wasn’t a perfect person out there for him but he learned to grow comfortable with that information. He learned to adapt, to date enough that he wouldn’t be lonely, and on the nights when he was without anyone he found ways to make himself feel good. He was content. Or so he thought so until a letter arrived on the day of his 22 birthday. A letter addressed to him, from the past and from his soulmate. From there, they start talking. Leaving letters for each other to find and read, falling in love through the words that they shared. Will TK ever catch up to Carlos so that they can have their happy ever after? Or will time remain cruel to them? **Soulmate AU based on the short film Brooklyn Love Stories - Long Time Distance Relationship with Ronen** This fic was such a labor of love because it was so hard at times to figure out timelines and to get it the way that I wanted it to go. In the end, it was so worth it and it's the first chapter fic I finished in this fandom. I also just love a good soulmate au.

Jingle those Balls - summary: Two families, one fake relationship. TK needs a fake date for his mother's Christmas Work Party. Enter Carlos. MY TARLOS HALLMARK FIC. I almost didn't write this but Cee encouraged me so much an dI am SO glad that I did. I ended up writing 20K words in two weeks and I just love how this turned out. It's silly, fun, a little angsty and smutty. Carlos is so sassy in it too. I had such a delight in writing it!

where do we go from here / how did we (i) get here? / And in your hands, is all of me - the parts I never let you have - I'm rec'ing all of these together because they truly need to be read together. These three fics kicked off my season 4 coda series and deals with the topic of Carlos being married to Iris. There's a fic from Carlo's POV, TK's POV, and then them together. I struggled a bit with the secret when it was revealed and this was a great way for me to work through it and I think I created some really good fics that deal with the topic.

Bonus +1

We can get a little crazy just for fun - My series of slutty Carlos fics. These are just fun, smutty fics that are inspired by Rafael's thirst posts and I always enjoy writing them. I think others would enjoy them as well.

[tododeku-or-bust]

Tbh the atsv fan "characterization" that pisses me off the most is the Miles Morales Prowler shit. Thats just a 15 year old. Good god. It makes me want to punch a bitch. At least Hobie is punk (even tho like. I still super dont like thag a lot of characterizations of him that seem to rely too much on the fact that a lot of Punk Thingz™️ (namely, drugs and hate for authority) are also antiblack stereotypes and we should be giving benefit of the doubt in these cases)

But Miles Morales is still Miles Morales, even if in a dif universe he's the prowler and his hair's different(? Im ngl im white and idk if it has anything to do with this, but ive seen his hair referenced before as important). I also see a lot of ppl forgetting how Morales was treated after the first movie, that fuckin colored pencil post still makes me mad.

Pissing me tf off. Sorry for mini rant it just seems you are also on this topic rn and none my friends seem that into the spiderverse 😔

Oh the moment I tried to block the Miguel tag (which DIDNT WORK, btw), the Miles G reader stuff showed up and I had instant regret 😭 but I haven't seen much for him outside of that. I'm glad I haven't, now.

Tbh, I wasn't really into Fandom when ITSV came out, so I (gratefully) missed all of the bullshit I heard happen with that one.

What's really pissed me off about Miles' seeming depiction by fandom, at least in the sections I've seen, is...idk if I'm saying this right.... To over simplify him? Like it frustrates me that a movie, both movies, the existence of Miles Morales himself, ALL have to do with themes of race, representation, and belonging. Yes there are plenty of other messages that are important, but all of them connect back to that identity too.

And people are just... Glossing over that. In this desire to go "oh he's so precious"- in what I'm sure is white ppls well-intentioned attempt to not be seen as a racist that doesn't care about Black children- they are still managing to completely ignore how his identity is symbolic in the storytelling. It's colorblindness in a movie where seeing race is essential and if you're gonna ignore it you might as well not even watch it at all bc at its core it's HIS story.

Like yeah, you think he's queer allegory, yeah you recognize how it feels to not belong, how to fight the status quo, fantastic, I love it, are you actually engaging with the race aspect that affects his experience of all of those things? Are you processing that when Rio said he might not be accepted in spaces, just maybe you have brown friends who feel that way in white spaces, fan and otherwise (esp now with affirmative action lmao, but always with Miles in the comics and dealing with fans). It's easy to think a multicultural movie with a Brown antagonist, well it "can't have to do with race" and that's just not true.

That's why people fixating on Hobie mildly disturbs me too; he TOO is a BLACK punk. That makes a difference, in his solidarity and what that meant for Black viewers. Or how they're ignoring Margo altogether despite her crucial role in his escape. Or how they're refusing to engage with Jessica Drew with understanding (you don't have to agree with her! I don't! But to understand where she stands in that spectrum from Hobie to Miguel, she is not nearly as bad as fandom wants to believe; she's actually comparable to Peter B but misogynoir prevents that conversation).

Like I am so happy we are finally entering an era where Black and Brown people are seeing themselves more on screen in roles we've yearned for, I am. But that also means it's time for white people to start engaging with what that means, and that means unlearning and learning.

[starjxsung]

this might be...super controversial...but i truly truly hope this isn't skz trying to enter the western music industry if that makes sense. like how bts at one point just completely abandoned kpop and went full western shitty generic pop music. it's what drove me away from them and i would hate to see it happen to another group i love so much...if i wanted generic music, i would listen to american pop music. i like kpop bc it's so varied w the genres and the lyrics are always meaningful in some way. not to mention variety shows and just silly kpop content yknow that's more than half the fun of liking kpop!! you take that out and there's nothing there anymore especially when the music becomes bad. american tv shows are bland, most of the music is devoid of life. as much as i loved bts as people, it truly feels like they lost a bit of themselves AS BTS with songs like butter and ptd...idk. really hope this doesn't happen to skz.

WHEEWWWWWW opinions under the cut bc this is so long ✂️

I was just talking about this w my sister I literally would never say this on main™️ because people hate me on there as it is but I fully agree 🥲 I love bts but it’s so hard for me to get with their newer western stuff and it just feels like it has no emotion, no real substance to it. As an army I see people have this debate all the time and it’s such an issue that within the fandom, no one feels like they can have these conversations without getting attacked for it. But like it’s such a valid thing to acknowledge that hyyh era is vastly different from ptd? That is such a fair thing to point out and people who fell in love with bst, idol, dna, spring day, black swan, etc are allowed to not vibe either something that’s an entirely new sound. Especially one that emulates the generic pop music we already have in the west

There’s so much I could say about the tactics Hybe has to try and appeal to the west now and how it’s completely ruining classic kpop we all know and love, but I completely agree with you in fearing that they’ll want to push skz down the same road. And what’s unfortunate is that skz are at their peak right now in popularity, so I hope jype doesn’t see that as some weird opportunity to just change their sound or concept

I was also talking with my sister about how I think this is very much why Ateez seem to be quickly gaining traction, they’re very true to the original sound that they debuted with and their discography is so consistent and every album/single keeps being bigger than the last. Very traditional Korean sound and tying culture into performances and it’s all very well received in an atmosphere where we keep getting force fed all these western collabs. I know bang pd’s famous article about “removing the k in kpop” was a huge hit among stakeholders but I think for a lot of us, the “k” is what makes it unique. I like music in a different language, learning about culture, understanding how variety shows and award shows work. It’s a different subculture than we have in the west, and making them the same thing just negates the purpose of kpop in the first place. Like we don’t need “the next Justin Bieber” or “the next one direction”, those acts already existed. We have Jungkook and we have bts and skz and they didn’t get big for emulating western sound or culture, they got big for being a part of kpop !

Like could you imagine if we all collectively started saying “we need to make Bollywood more western! We need to make it appeal to western audiences!” How fucking disrespectful that would sound to the years of culture and uniqueness behind what it already is? Why are we doing that in Korean spaces now? Why can’t we just acknowledge when it’s a different culture and allow ourselves to immerse ourselves in it, learn about it, respect it and gain a newfound appreciation for something outside of western music? Why does everything have to appeal to the west??? 😭

I could go on about this for soooo long but I 100% agree with you and this was such a breath of fresh air to type out LMFAOOO

[coppermouth]

i haven't been here long and i don't have a horse in this race, but i also don't think the content/flavor of hrpf has changed as much as some people think it has. here's my perspective as someone who did a kind of accidental chronological speed-run of the last 15 years of hockey fandom:

i started reading kane/toews fic before i knew anything about what happened in 2015—before i knew anything about either of them or any other player in real life vs their common fanon depictions—and all the most popular stuff on ao3 (that's still up) is quite fluffy. imagine my surprise to learn about pkane the actual human after reading about this weird little goofball twink for months. i was really under the impression when i first entered this fandom that the majority of fic was very edges-sanded-down escapism, not unlike the billion-and-one ofic m/m hockey novels that romance readers eat up.

if anything, my personal understanding of how hrpf fandom has shifted over the years is that authors have started to grapple more with the reality of hockey culture because of what happened with kane. his ship dominated as this fandom was coalescing, before any major drama, so there was maybe a certain willful ignorance that we could all participate in. but when the rug got pulled, the people who stayed had to think about how to balance reality with fantasy probably harder than they'd ever had before.

now that i've caught up with the times and have branched out into reading more recent fic, i see a pretty solid mixture of hockey-romance-softness and "realism," and it seems to depend on the author and the ship more than saying something about the broader culture, but it's true that a lot of fic from the 1988 era is wiped from the face of the internet and i don't have access to much of what was being hosted on lj vs ao3, so i am missing some context.

but! there's A LOT of hrpf now; the fandom is only getting bigger and producing more content. i think it's just as ikely that what we're seeing is more a result of the circles we float in coupled with the nature of fanfiction as an escape rather than a categorical shift. the stuff that gets popular generally tends to be on the fluffier side. and because there's simply more fic now than ever before, maybe it takes a little more digging than it used to to find the darker/more nuanced/morally gray content.

but it's definitely still there. because i'm reading it!

[aurirorii]

my carat journey ♡︎

sypnosis: (im sure the title makes this self-explanatory but) in which i tell you all about my first impressions and journeys as a carat. (i like summed it all up so its super short)

a/n: i havent been a carat for tooooo long but nonetheless it makes me feel pretty happy to see ive come as a carat as well as how the group themselves have grown over the years c:

how did it start.. oh right. when i first came around seventeen or seen something about them it was actually back in may of 2021 from a clip i saw on youtube i saw of them on knowing brothers. this clip was when the mcs of the show were trying to guess all of the members’ names and it was the8’s turn.

i remember watching minghao doing that flip or wtv (sorry i dont remember what its called lol) n after he was all cool and stuff. and lowk i was like ‘oooooo.. hes kinda cute’ hehe. and honestly that was kinda it.

you see, it was in 2018 i was actually a k-pop stan yk during the prime era of kpop. obviously over the next 2-4 years i had lost focus. but, when i came back, that video was one of the many i had watched on youtube about kpop. and when i came back, i became a skz fan. i remember felix was my ult bias and that was that.

but that was until i came across an episode of going seventeen. pretty infamous right? god, i remember watching that episode when they were planting rice (ver-paddy) and i was hooked. i had never laughed so much, it was like my spark had come back. i say that because when i re-entered the kpop fandom, i wasn’t at the highest point of my life. so laughing that much over one video on youtube made me so happy. that was when i knew that i needed to find out who this group was and where i can watch more episodes.

that was when i realized that the group i was watching was seventeen: the group with that one cute guy with gray hair and glasses (the8)! also when i realized that vernon was in seventeen (i knew and recognized vernon bc if his cover with jeongyeon, do i need to keep explaining? i didn’t think so).

although, when i started looking into the members, one caught my eye and it was safe to say it was not the8. it was LA boy hong joshua. idk what it was really but i thought he looked so idk— beautiful. so thats what it was for me. i started stanning the group and having joshua as my new ult bias in june 2022. sadly, over time, my interest in skz started to decline. it wasn’t that skz wasn’t great, they are, y’know how it is right?

that was how my journey started. i started listening to their music, getting into going seventeen, binge-watching like all the seventeen related videos i could find on youtube, and most importantly: going through hell trying to learn all of the members.

oh. my. god. hey, you know, it took some time, but i got there! (i always messed up woozi and hoshi) um.. anyways. as time went on, obviously i was able to experience the feeling of waiting to watch their new comebacks and such. and honestly, i don’t mean to be one of those people, but seventeen genuinely brought my spark back. i had, and still, never been so interested in something until them.

around 5-6 months later, it was in novemeber 2022 when i was pretty settled into the group when my thoughts and views started to change. i was starting to focus on new members. i honestly don’t remember at all how this started but jeonghan caught my eye. and i was hooked.

idk.. hes js so.. im sure u know what i mean!!! i mean who wouldn’t? like, have you seen jeonghan? oh lordy lord. he was so beautiful yet fine yet cute yet literally all of the above. i sound like one of those crazy fans. PLEASE GUYS I PROMISE IM NOT LIKE THAY JUST HEAR ME OUT A TINY BIT. let a girl be delulu PLS. ok now im gonna continue being delulu for a sec thanks.

i do admit i still fangirl a bit over him, just a teensy bit!!!!! (i fucking watch edits on tiktok HELP ME I HAVE A SAVED COLLECTION IN MY FAVORITES ermmmm i js want to be organized!!!! …..) please guys im just a girl.

uh. yeah! but in all seriousness, i’m so happy that i was able to come across such an amazing group. time has passed so much and it’s crazy for me to understand that i’ve been already been a carat for almost 2 years. (pls help me ive watched like every gose episode and inside seventeen episode like 50 million times each, but honestly i’ll never get tired of it).

i’m so proud of seventeen after everything they’ve gone through. watching them win their first daesang made me feel so happy for them, they absolutely deserve it. from practicing together in a small, green walled room to selling out almost all of their shows and stages they perform on, seventeen has grown so much as not just a group but individually.

i just know that if seventeen’s predebut self saw their lives now their joy would just be through the roof. as one of the most looked-upon sunbaenims in their industry, i’m sure most people can agree seventeen tops their line of style when making music.

and i’m also so glad i decided to be a carat. i love the fandom, like i can be on tiktok for hours just laughing watching carats post the funniest memes and compilations as well as making the stupidest tweets. i can very much vouch carats are one of the most funniest, supportive fandoms out there.

so yeah, that’s about it!

[music-art-sport-and-more]

From a Legend to a God

I'd like to know why we still have the same discussions every few years when a new kid enters the senior field.

This is gonna be a bit long, an overview of the past 10 years in figure skating, the reign of Yuzuru the First.

There are not many teenagers who have a natural connection with the music since early age, and those who have mostly struggle with jumps- which just is an important part in figure skating. For example Marin Honda. A wonderful performer, was called "the next Mao", but her jumps were atrocious and killed her career.

It's even weirder when the complains come from certain fandoms whose skater also started their senior career as jumping prodigies. I know how the mind of a Fanyu works, i've been one of them but thank God left that cult. If you followed Yuzuru basically from the beginning of his senior career, you probably forgot by now ( or chose to forget) how it all started.

He was that new kid on the blok, the reigning WJC. Even though the discussions about quads started already in the Plushenko era, it was actually Yuzuru who started the quad revolution. From the beginning he impressed with his jumping abilities, he landed his first quad (4T) in a senior competition at the first try, in a time when quads weren't a thing in juniors yet. He started beating the more experienced and "artistic" guys like Takahashi or Chan at 17/18/19 yo not because he was such a great artist, but because of his jumps. His skating overal was -sloppy. He never had natural artistry, only later in his 20's he found his own style. Even as a good jumper, he didn't had the consistency, after he learned the 4S, he struggled to land it in competition for 2 years. Yet still got good enough scores to top Chan, mostly thanks to his good SP. An aspect Fanyus also like to forget. He was never "screwed over" by the judges, even when he got silver at COC 2014 with a 5 fall program. It was the reason they changed the rules and punish falls harder since then, the "Hanyu rule", that is nothing to be proud about.

Then came Boyang Jin. The new jumping prodigy kid. The king of the 4lz. And the discussion about quads started. The same people who were glorifying Yuzuru's jumps when he was 17 and was ambitious to try new quads were now calling for the cancellation of the new quad king who just did a bit more than the guys before him. He was all over the place but was consistent enough to earn him two World medals. Lucky for Fanyus, Yuzuru was in his prime in those seasons, was pushing for 2 quads in the SP and 3 in the FS, so nobody could touch him and he already had a certain reputation. Shoma Uno was way to inconsistent thanks to his bad technique to battle him, but was supported by Takahashi's fans since they seemed similar in the way they performed ( and they also were still salty😉) and Fernandez somehow improved in that time, so Uno was being left alone to some degree.

Things got a bit more heated when an even more refined teenage quad king became senior- Nathan Chen. An upgrade from Jin, all over the place at first but his efford was recognized. Yuzuru lost a bit of his spark by then- and found himself in the position of the Takahashi's and Chan's of his time. The new kid on the blok started beating him with his own weapons.

And now it gets interesting, because we came full circle. It only needed the upgrade of the previous quad kings, the more consistent one, the God himself, to finish what was started years ago, to end the quest for quads. Because Ilia is that 17 ( now 18) years old, for now the only skater in the history who can land all existing jumps in figure skating- including the unicorn Yuzuru was chasing when he started this journey- the 4A.

What all these teenage prodigies have in common is Yuzuru. He was the one who inspired them to go above and beyond what was seen as impossible. So be proud of his impact instead of feeling threatened by the youth 🤷‍♀️

[corvidcrafts273]

HELLO! I am here to talk about Star Trek!

I am sorry my Star Trek spam has made you consider it. Very sorry. It's a rabbit hole. But might I suggest starting with either The Next Generation (TNG)? Or the 2009 movie (09) if you would like to see the classic characters? The Orignal Series (TOS) can be a little...weird at times. I.E. Kirk literally being ridden like a horse while under mind control. Yeah, it's weird.

TNG is very...well...political in a sense. The characters, although tame at times, can be very lovable. Data is my personal favorite. Picard is a great captain. And you will also see Number One (Riker) perform the 'Riker.' Very funny and the longer you watch, the more you will spot it. TNG has a lot of heart. You really get to know the characters and learn what they will and won't do according to their morals and values.

I would say most Star Trek series are very character-driven. I know Deep Space Nine (DS9) is. I wouldn't recommend starting there though because some characters cross over and it's better to see them in TNG first. But it's my favorite. Plus, I mean...*in a way* Jadzia is trans. And she is totally accepted as she is now. So that's pretty awesome.

Lower Decks (LD) is the most recently animated show and is by far the most humorous series. Lots of callbacks to the ridiculousness that has happened in the previous series. Star Trek has so much lore. But it's so great.

I have also read that Discovery (DSC) is a great place to jump in too. It requires no prior knowledge. It's part of the 'new Trek' era. I haven't seen it myself, but it is on my list.

Overall, Star Trek is based on optimism and hope for a more utopian universe where people (and aliens) are accepted no matter what. Sure, there are still conflicts between people. There is still war in some circumstances. But the focus of the show is people and aliens coming together from all walks of life to explore the universe and make it a better place. There are rarely black-and-white situations because the characters really do consider the nuance of the issues most of the time. It's political and progressive. And it's full of heartful characters who just want the best for each other (mostly).

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Sorry for the long ask!

Hello!

Well this is the post thats going to make me watch star trek now, its too late op 🙃 im going to enter the fandom

[mcrmadness]

So, for the fic asks !

I would like to know about : 1, 3, 9, 12, 16 (17 at the same time, you can count it as a unique question if you want), 24, 29 !

I know it's a lot, but I'm awfully curious !!!!!!

Thank you!!! Now that really makes it up for all the other asks I did not get for this ask game! :D I'm very excited about them now!

1 - What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again? Hmmmm. It's kinda hard for me to tell what all happened this year and what happened last year, it's all this big mush in my head and feels like one very long year tbh. But I would say that what I tried was: to go more and more towards presenting the relationships as QPR (or through relationship anarchy) rather than the stereotypical romantic relationships we see everywhere. From my own point of view it turned out well and I really liked it, and I definitely would and will do that again, but unfortunately it also meant that the more I wrote G-rated and QPR-driven fics, the less people were interested in reading those fics. So it's a double-edged sword, really.

3 - What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer? After a little while of thinking: definitely how differently I think and how I'm on SO different wavelength from the rest of the fandom (and in case someone else is reading this atm: I only write for two fandoms that are kinda interwined). At the times it made me feel extremely lonely and so alone, and an outsider. Not necessarily being left out, but more like refusing to enter the door if I'm asked to step in, because I don't really belong in there and I don't feel comfortable in there. So I'm just sitting outside in the snow writing my little fics wishing that at least someone will feel like giving them a try. I guess that's what I learned. Again, for the umpteenth time...

9 - What fic meant the most to you to write? I don't think my fics really mean anything to me. I'm not emotionally connected to them at all. Sometimes I like my writing in some bits a lot, and I would like to mention here a few atm unreleased bits of my very long WIP called Nostalgia. There is one bit I wrote either last year or the previous, but I just keep going back to reading it over and over again because I'm genuinely proud of the writing in that one and I feel like I really outdid myself with that.

Unfortunately you have to just believe my word because it's not published yet, and I don't know if it ever will be and when if so (I still cannot wait to show it to people cos I like it so much???) because it's about the reunion era of die ärzte, and I need to work on all the 80s chapters first before I can even think about posting anything related to that.

12 - What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it? I think I have to answer this with Nostalgia as well. I don't know if I'll ever finish it really. It's the most difficult one to work on because it's based on real events, so I have to change the plot and events every time I learn new facts (or "facts" thanks to BFR...) from the guys. I also have to do lots of researchs for my timeline all the time, and the fact that not every fact is available. Recently I learned something about Bela's and Farin's 80s roommate-ness that I had never noticed before, and now it's like, forcing me to change so many things about all the 80s bits that I HAVE written so far. Because turned out that one flat in a video was not the one where they lived together, and IRL Farin moved out way before than what I thought he did, and now my whole 80s timeline has to be reworked. It sucks, but no can do. Who told me to be this precise with my fanfic research...

16 - What were you go-to writing songs? Nothing really. I usually don't listen to music when I write, but occasionally I might hyperfixate on a band or artist and can't come up with anything else to do while listening to them, so I start working on my fanfics. Usually my fanfic working in general is completely spontanous. I don't plan it. I just start thinking about random things that suddenly create a new train of thought that leads to me opening the fanfic files. And I often just write in completely silence because of that. I can't even hear anything when I focus properly, and I also can't listen to anything where I can understand the words because then I can't write cos it will it impossible to focus on writing words myself.

17 - What were your go-to writing snacks? I'm the world's most boring person because: nothing. Like your ask already suggested, these could have been in the same question so pretty much the same answer applies here. But yeah, I usually don't eat anything when I write. Often also because whenever I enter the hyperfocus, I forget about everything around me so I will also unintentionally ignore any needs and won't feel hunger AND would not even remember to eat anything even if I had snacks :D Besides, I in general don't really eat snacks that often. Occasionally I might eat chips or a bit of chocolate, but usually that's when I am watching videos or doing something else where I don't really need my hands.

24 - What’s something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story? Well I already mentioned the roommate thing I learned, so I can't mention it here... or can I? I guess I can. It did change the story quite a lot, but I don't know if it really surprised me. I don't really know, I feel like I wasn't surprised by anything at all, besides that little roommates fact.

29 - If this were an awards show, who would you thank? I'd definitely thank FUB for existing and being so extra during these past tours that I have so much content I barely need to even write anything myself anymore :D And then next I'd thank you because I honestly don't think I'd have my fics public on AO3, and I would have not kept posting the new ones there without your support. It sucks to not have readers, but even one reader is still a reader and worth it. Besides I'm not really writing to get attention (even if it might not look like that), I am writing to make other people's day and if I manage to succeed at that at least once, my work here is then done. So thank YOU for reading and for leaving comments on my fics! I kid you not, on my AO3 there would be absolutely nothing or half of the fics max of what I have there now, if you didn't keep commenting on them. (And while that again sounds very toxic of me, I am not trying to keep you as a hostage and I'm not saying I will never post again if you stop commenting. I'm saying that RSD makes it hell to post any creations ever, as you know, and I have kept coming back with my old and new fics only because I knew they would at least make your day better if no one else would enjoy them! /gen)

Okay, here are your answers. As you can see, I am very boring what comes to writing :D It's not just my texts that are boring, I myself am very boring to. (Which... probably makes sense cos I'd write such exciting and awesome things if I myself was exciting and had wild stories to tell.)

[mcrcki]

Was that [MILLY ALCOCK]? Oh no no, that was just [KAYA DURA], an [ORIGINAL CHARACTER] from [STAR WARS]. They are [NINETEEN] years old, use [THEY/SHE], and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

how long has your character been here -

like close to a year now?? they aren't any more comfortable but that's completely unrelated to the city itself and more so the actual mess they've found themself in relationship wise

what is your character’s job -

they are a mechanic, while they don't know a ton about cars themselves, she always loved working on the ships back home and is happy to just do something with their hands again

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom -

order 66 babey !!! (aka end of the prequel era, so 19 BBY) that’s the last thing they remember from home. they were on a mission with kasil, their master, to product his family, when the clones turned on them :( they were sent away, barely getting back to the ship so that they could go warn the rest of the temple about what happened.

has any magic affected your character -

nope! their memories are fully intact. though , ngl , they kinda wish they weren’t !!!! 

other notes -

i am back with yet another chaotic mess of a character, this time as an oc padawan :)) i am so sorry to anyone who interacts with them, they are the embodiment of this text meme

kaya dura is a force sensitive human, who was taken by the jedi order as an infant to train in the temple on coruscant. they do not know where they came from, anything about their parents or family, or even their planet. all they have ever known is the jedi

they love being a jedi, like full out, just love being a padawan, love learning about the force, they’re just….. they’re not very good at it. they struggled to learn a lot of it, and still struggle with some of the basics. though, despite all of that, they are very passionate about their missions and everything they set their mind to. 

does that mean that their plans work out ?? not really. they are given a mission, a set in stone plan and it blows up in their face. but somehow they’re able to find a back up plan, a work around, sheer dumb luck and can make it out of their shitty situation while still completing their mission. 

was assigned as kasil monsula’s padawan when they were old enough, and has been giving him a grey hair every single day since. 

they have big “you are my dad, boogie woogie woogie” energy around him, i am so sorry kasil. 

wanted nothing more than to prove themselves, to be able to be the padawan they thought kasil deserved. and to finally be able to be knighted. it was all they ever worked for

unfortunately, that day never came. the last mission they were sent out on, they were joining kasil in protecting his sister and brother in law, something they did often. they didn’t even think anything of it, until the clones turned on them, people they had considered their own friends pointing their blasters at them. 

the last thing kaya remembers from home is the fight they had with kasil, both of them shouting at the other, him trying to buy them enough time to run, to get away and back to coruscant, to warn the rest of the temple about the attack. and them, refusing to leave his side. they didn’t want to run, they were his padawan, they were meant to fight together. 

in the end, kaya gave in, and ran. it’s the biggest regret they have, knowing that kasil did not survive– 

their memories, originally, had been wiped from this information but since arriving they have learned that they also did not survive once they returned to the temple. they had gotten back just before obi wan sent out the distress signal, warning not to return, and as soon as they entered the temple, they were surrounded.. they barely had time to ignite their saber

so some fun facts after order 66 vibes?

uses they/she pronouns, and identifies as nonbinary and a lesbian 

doesn’t know how yet but will be learning to skateboard, those things look so fun

very bad at moving things with the force, but they can make themselves hang upside down. 

does not know how to do a cartwheel but will still prove that they can do one

loves the front bottoms, and thinks lucky charms are a gift from the stars 

and a quick update as of 12/12/23

kaya, for several months, with and without her memories, had been in a relationship with kore sekkari, and in her mind, she had fallen in love. she thought that they were both as enthralled with each other as she was.

kaya broke her vows, gave up everything to prove that she was committed to her relationship with kore until kore turned and killed her master. after kasil had died, when kaya found out that kore had been lying to her, she went to confront her.

they fought during the halloween maze, resulting in kaya's own death, but not before kore cut off her padawan braid.

kaya is having a VERY hard time processing this in their mind and is doing everything they can to just close in on themselves, and close themself off from the force

connections :

✩ dura parent connection :

kaya has one older sister, kriya, who remembers when kaya was taken by the jedi, and watched as their parents basically wasted away after losing one of their children, resulting in kriya being taken away as well.

i would love to have both dura parents here !! pls hit me up if you're interested !!

✩��friends

pls be friends with them , they’re a total mess but are incredibly loyal and fun to be around !!

✩co-workers / boss

once they start working as a mechanic, they’ll be the most fun in the shop !!! unfortunately they will blast cursed tiktok mashup songs the entire time but ,, they’re good songs. 

✩ star wars friends

they grew up during the clone wars and were a padawan living at the jedi temple, along with being around senators a lot, so they would have run into people with a similar background!

✩ potential ship

this would be based off of chemistry, and would really be a slowburn. they’re still getting used to all of this, and also very much exists with the jedi mindset that you cannot have relationships like that, so this would be someone who could break them out of that thinking with a lot of like trust building

[faithfromanewperspective]

tysm!! And oh that is so true. Anti hero being such a great example of it too (and reminding me how efyts could’ve had its moment properly had it been a single). Ash was pretty iconic with skinny skinny as well. Jet black heart was ahead of its time. I feel like so much of the early to mid 2010s wasn’t ‘oh we don’t struggle’ but the narrative in songs was ‘let’s forget about it for tonight and party’ (notoriously effective right) and I’m so so glad we’re entering an era it’s more socially acceptable to face these things and be more real and actually kinda heal?? gets me wondering when we’re gonna start talking abt things like neurodivergence though, but I’m always wondering that!!

and yeah I bet they didn’t interview him. just a fan who happens to be a journalist piecing things together and actually doing a pretty decent job. Compared to news outlets who actually did interview them, this person I guess saw a need in the fandom for validation that the songs we love and so relate to were from a place where we’ve got artists who understand us and just,, mental health headcanons can be pretty problematic when they’re picked up by the wrong people but this one was pretty sweet and nice! and the fact we’ve had jbh (and the other songs of sgfg but especially jbh because michael still sings it like he means every part of it and knows we need it now) for over 8 years now and we got to watch all of them learn how to feel better just gives the biggest message of hope imo. Really is a discography that just keeps on giving

can I just take a moment to vent (?) laugh (?) about the way people talked abt mental health in 2016?? based on that article that I’m not even sure mike was interviewed for at all or was just trying to make mental health headcanons on an aesthetic looking white background? talking about things like ‘hurdles’ or ‘roadblocks’ or whatever it said and how you ‘come out stronger’ or sth and framing (reducing) the demands of capitalism to ‘oh no what career should I have should I make money doing music or keep studying’ but all ‘yay for that deep connection with fans you know someone cares abt you’ I’m sorry. It was actually a decent article but it’s just hilarious the way we were so emotionally unaware as a society even then? maybe I’m biased or maybe I just don’t know anyone who doesn’t have depression but it’s such a piece of the 2010s it just cracks me up. and mentioning cal co wrote jbh and never mentioning him again? iconic

first off you are always welcome to use my asks for venting. Or laughing. Or both.

second of all, I agree. I think that in the early to mid 2010s, an artist just saying that they were struggling with mental health issues was so much less common than it is today. But now, so many different artists have songs about mental health. And so many of them are singles, even lead singles (like anti hero). And I’m so happy that we’re at that point, but it makes looking back on articles like this kinda weird.

also I do NOT think they interview Michael for this. They used his tweets as quotes lmao. Maybe I’m wrong though lol