#so when fandom finally started to go mainstream it was the teenage girls who were the loudest about it bc 1.) teenagers

[storm-and-starlight]

I think also that a big part of it was that teenage girls were some of the first ones to openly be fannish in a very particular and very unsubtle way -- when I was a teenager, I was a Supernatural fan, and Literally Everyone Knew It. I wore SPN-themed jewelry, I wore SPN-themed clothes, I never shut up about the show, etc. etc. etc. and I knew of a fair few other people who acted the exact same way about their own fandoms.

And I think that that period of time in the mid-2000's/early 2010's was when fandom went from being a niche, relatively unknown hobby to being, if not mainstream, then at least known about by a lot more people (I blame Misha Collins), and that kind of teenage girl fan was the loudest and therefore one of the most visible parts of fandom, and so a lot of people thought that that was all there was to fandom, and it just. stuck.

wild thing about all those "why are people over 30 still in fandom" posts is that the idea of fandom (in the sense of writing fic etc) being a youth subculture or even a hobby that was particularly accepting of young people is insanely recent, like, last 20 years at most. prior to that not only was fandom overwhelmingly both driven and populated by people well into adulthood, but if you were a teen trying to write or discuss fic on livejournal or usenet you almost certainly avoided telling people your age, not only because that was general best practice for minors on the internet at the time but because you'd have felt very out of place if all those grownups had known you were a kid, and in fact there's a good chance they would have banned you from whatever community you were trying to participate in. the way that state of affairs managed to get memory-holed so completely we've transitioned to one where a lot of people think fanfiction is and has always been a hobby for teenagers that some unusually childish adults just never grow out of is genuinely bizarre

[camrensrealbish]

Blame it on the fandom

I’ve been thinking about the podcast appearance a lot in the last few days.  I have questions for you, Lauren.

Promotion and Camren headlines

It’s interesting when you look at the ways they used Camren for promotion. In the early Fifth Harmony days, to bring LGBT teenagers to the fandom. Then quietened it with Brad and Austin PRs. Then “I found the girl” was released. And then finally Lauren’s coming out followed by the “never real... ever” tweet. Tweet that btw made headlines and brought Lauren’s name into mainstream, ensuring that the first bit of information general public learns about her is that she was not in a relationship with Camila Cabello. 

And now apparently they’re doing it again, use Camila to promote Lauren, while simoultanously slamming Camila’s gay rumors. Very clever if you ask me.

Toxicity

Are you seriously trying to tell me that there is more blame in teenagers who wrote fanfics, that in people who used two girls’ relationship in whatever way they wanted to sell a product?  

The fandom shouldn’t be to blame, but you know who? The management and the label. People in control of her career and image. People who didn’t give a f*ck about her mental health and didn’t offer any help or support when she was starting her career in LA and everything was happening at once and closeted Lauren started to panic. The people who were “making decisions on regular basis to fuck them over, to make them literal slaves”. Most importantly, people, who’ve worked in the industry for years and knew where all of this would lead to and how to manipulate the story. 

And ok. Maybe Lauren didn’t know better in 2013/14 and the fandom, who was pointing out all the moments her feelings were showing seemed like an obvious target, because she didn’t know how to deal with her feelings for Camila and her internalized homophobia. But am I really supposed to believe, that nothing has changed since then and she’s learnt nothing?

That Lauren, who’s outspoken about the contracts and the bullshit of music industry, even when she’s not supposed to, that this Lauren would blame the fandom and not the people in charge? 

Fake it till you make it

That was some great acting on Lauren’s part (a little bit worse on Becky’s). Girl, maybe you should be the next one with acting career?

I wonder how many times she rehearsed her speech. Because without a doubt, it was prepared with her team and thought through thoroughly. What was our biggest argument against them saying Camila and Lauren were not dating? The way they look at each other and some of Camila’s slips (”Mine’s Lauren”,”Who are you kissing under the mistletoe?”, “Why do you assume it’s a boy”). So they made sure to take all our arguments away.

I also did not have that connection with her. Camila and i were just very good friends at that time, you know what i'm saying, and we respected each other. When each other would talk we would look at each other, we had love for each other, like genuine friendship, you know what i'm saying, and in the latinx culture i don't know about you, but growing up I was very affectionate with all of my friends i was very, like, we would tell each other shit that yeah, maybe you would think we were gay if you were listening over, but we weren't, you know what i'm saying.

It made me really angry, because seriously? You’re gonna use heteronormativity to shove Camila deeper into the closet?

Why now?

That was the first question that popped in my mind right after I recovered from the shock of hearing Camila’s name. Why now after 3 years of ignoring Camila’s existence?

LJ1 is coming. Album with a lot of songs about Camren in it, that you can easily connect with Camila’s side of the story. Why am I so certain about it? Because she made sure to incorporate Camren timeline into the relationship with Lucy. 

I was like, I need to own this, you know? Like, of course she can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with her really, you know? That’s traumatizing. As someone who was really queer and accepted that about herself, and I loved that about her. She was so self-assured and who she really was and I really wanted to be like that but I couldn’t give that at the time, so I had to deal with the pain of losing her because of that. Then she came back into my life and we had a very toxic relationship, because neither one of us was healed enough to be together, but we loved each other so much… that happened when I was 18. I wanted to be with her so badly that I didn’t even give her time or me time to even know if this was what I wanted or what she wanted. I was like “no, now we’re gonna be together” so I went all in and was like we’re going to be in this relationship. And I remember my mom being like… She knew, but she also – again, there was a lot of toxicity between this girl and I, this was not a healthy relationship, this was not anything to romanticize what I went through, but also, it was my story.“

Started as friends with benefits, Camila wanted more, but Lauren wasn’t confident in her sexuality, so they broke up and got back together as a couple in 2014. That’s exactly what we were speculating was going on with Camren then, what Camila confirmed in her songs (Feel it twice, Should’ve said it) and even mentioned in Zach Sang interview. 

They really decided to sink the ship this time. They’re not playing anymore, so I’d get prepared for a big shitshow in Shawmila circus, let’s pray it’s not marriage.

[zeoia]

I am a warm and loving person. I always have been and always will be.

Growing up, I had to be responsible very early on. I had no choice but to be mature for my age. After all, my mother wasn't there, and we needed a mom. My father was clueless, emotionally detached as an alpha male type. Currently he's not as bad as he used to be, as he finally acknowledges that when I cry, it's not to make him angry. I am crying because I am hurting. And when I am hurting I need comfort.

It used to be about his comfort. He hated seeing the tears. He'd tell us don't you dare start crying. I bottled up emotions. I withheld feelings at home. But they kept coming out during school. I'd isolate myself to cry.

One time I had an extreme outburst to the point of getting violent. I felt unheard. I'd been unheard for so long. People weren't understanding.

I had to separate from my biological mom as a child because she was incapable of taking care of us. This created a sense of longing. There was a hole in my heart and I kept wanting to fill it up somehow.

My father remarried when I was going to middle school. I told him I was fine with it. But honestly I didn't know any better. I was nine, going on ten. How was I supposed to know that I was just saying okay because that's just what I felt dad wanted to hear.

The marriage lasted throughout middle school and fell apart during high school. My stepmom was a scary person. Especially with her son around. She became very controlling. We weren't allowed in her chairs. Not allowed to watch her television. Weren't allowed to eat her foods. She made a mental note of the amount she had left. And anytime something went wrong, despite her son being the one who had always been the one to get into trouble, somehow, my brother and I were shouldering the blame for stuff we didn't do.

We were far from perfect little babies, but the worst we did was stay up past bedtime playing video games. He was a habitual liar. A thief. He was frequently breaking into houses, including our own. The first time I remember interacting with police was because of him. He broke into a girl's house. I was so nervous and I felt small. Because I was. I was so very small.

The divorce process was messy. She wanted to take our house away. Our home. The place that my brother was building bonds in. He frequently went outside spending time with neighbors. Unlike her son, we were still kids. By this time he was approaching adulthood. We couldn't be subjected to that.

We did manage to keep the house somehow. But... Maybe it would have been better to have lost it. To have moved downtown. So my father would stop acting like it was our fault that we stayed out here.

You see, my father has this habit of saying how he wanted to move downtown, closer to where everything is, but would tell us that "you guys wanted to stay here with your friends" in a mocking way. As if a teenager and a preteen know any better. Of course we wouldn't know of what opportunities existed for us downtown. We didn't live our lives in the future. We lived our lives in the moment. Looking at the future just wasn't a thing.

And the only future I COULD think of was the inevitable end. The inescapable fate that every living being shares. Because I wanted it. I wanted it to hurry up and take me so I could stop feeling sadness. the shameful feelings that would make other people uncomfortable.

I had been tired of moving. Tired of leaving people. My childhood involved way more goodbyes than I could deal with. And I continued to be desperate to fill that hole my mother left.

In this home, we finally had a permanent place. Some sort of stability. I didn't want to let go of anything. I couldn't let go of anything. After all, every time my mother visited us, I kept having to let go. I had to let go of the person who was willing to let me cry. I had to let go of the person who frequently told me I love you. this isn't to say that my father was unloving. I still remember every day when we still lived in the apartments, my brother and I would be home alone and we'd hear the door unlocking. And we'd make a mad dash to the door to jump into his arms to be hugged by him.

But this came to an end eventually. Growing up was awkward, and it made me withdraw more. My father expected me to be more ladylike. Despite telling me stuff like "do your best" I often felt like I was failing, even if I wasn't actually failing. Things were hard for me in school. On top of the stress of the divorce, my grades were getting worse. The transition from middle school to high school was uncomfortable. I told myself I was done with goodbyes, so why did I have to say goodbye to my best friends again?

I still remember people I considered my best friends, all the way from third grade. Donna. Jessica. Tina. Martha. Karen. Rae. Megan.

Graduating high school I didn't want to let go. I was tired of letting go. Despite my frequently feeling slightly out of place, I clung to Rae and Megan. We worked the same jobs for years. And then when Rae left for college, it was just me and Megan. Two weird kids with little ability to actually make new friends.

Megan and I did everything together. I went to her house frequently. We even went to the same community college. But as an adult things were getting different. She was very interested in dating, and I was getting more into self discovery. Online, I was making friends with people who liked the things I liked. I got involved with fandoms. She was too, actually.

But our interests didn't always overlap. But in my desperation to keep doing things with my only real life friend, I forced myself to enjoy the things she did. I didn't care for super heroes. Didn't care for being a "Potthead" as they called themselves. I don't know if that's still the term. She liked a lot of things that were very white, euro-centric. I liked things that were. Well they felt different. I liked webcomics and other things I found online, rather than mainstream media. Sometimes I tried to convince her to do something that I liked to do, but she wasn't really having it. If anything she just had a preference for insulting it and making me feel bad for liking things that really weren't her taste.

Honestly I don't remember what started the build up of animosity. I remember that I lost my grandmother on my dad's side and I felt terrible because I never got to really know her. My depression was absolutely awful then and I couldn't bring myself to go to work often. I remember one day when we were looking at our paychecks and she gave me this condescending "well maybe if you didn't call out so much." And I told her "hey how would you feel if your grandfather died? What would you have done huh?" And she got mad at me for making her even think about it. Me, actively in mourning about the death of a loved one, and she's the one mad because I dared to ask her to put herself in my shoes.

The rift was growing so much bigger. But we both still wanted to hold on because we both had nobody. I... Honestly couldn't tell you what it was that was the final nail in the coffin. Maybe it was all the guilt tripping she did. She told me that she was tired of having to go everywhere with me and that it cost money to drive me from place to place, ignoring the fact that I was always going the same place with her. Work. School. We planned it out so it was convenient. And I often bought things for her. I paid for food, gave her gas money, and I even sometimes would splurge on something she had her eye on. Like. A figure or a toy. She had bills and I didn't, so I had the spending money for it. Because I had to make sure that I wasn't going to say goodbye again.

But we did. It was messy. She called me a petty bitch. I don't even remember everything. I just know that I was alone again. Secluded. Isolated. I had nobody. Nine years of friendship and the void was bigger now.

I was desperate to keep finding people. I kept surrounding myself with groups. Getting deeply involved in fandoms in an attempt to connect with people. I leaned heavily on people emotionally, especially if they got closer to me and interacted with me more. People who did anything for me, I would cling to immediately. I wanted to do everything with people who spent time with me. I became addicted to attention.

And that addiction is why I'm in this mess today. It's true that I have managed to surround myself with genuine people who love me, but sometimes something bad lurks about. Especially in a place full of mentally ill people.

[la5t-res0rt]

this was written several weeks ago in response to asks i was receiving i am posting it now it is very long the longest i have ever made and it is not very well edited but here it is in this final essay i talk about how shitty rae is about black people in her writing as well as just me talking about how her writing sucks in general lets begin

hello everyone 

as you may know i have received a lot of anons in the last week or so about issues of racism in the beetlejuice community both just generally speaking and also within specific spaces 

i was very frustrated to not be getting the answers i wanted because i typically do not talk about what i do not see but in an effort to be better about discourse i went looking through discourse from before my time in the fandom and i also received some receipts and information from my followers and from some friends

keep in mind that the voices and thoughts of bipoc are not only incredibly important at all times but in this circumstance it is important that if a bipoc has something to add you listen and learn and be better

i admit that when this happened i wasnt aware of the extent of what occurred and im angry at myself for not doing more at that time and i want to work harder to make sure something like this doesnt go unnoticed again

im a hesitant to talk about months old discourse because i have been criticized for bringing up quote old new unquote but this is very important and i am willing to face whatever comes from to me

lets talk about this

content from our local racist idiot that may be months old but its important

putting my thoughts under a cut to spare the dash but before i begin obviously this is awful

lets fucking unpack this folks

right out the gate op states that she supports artistic freedom but then within a couple words she goes against that statement

being entirely canon compliant isnt artistic freedom and even so if this person has so much respect for canon they wouldnt be out here erasing lydias obvious disgust for beetlejuice in the movie or ignoring lydias age for the sake of shipping that shit isnt canon either 

also we love the quick jab at the musical there hilarious we love it dont we because god forbid a licensed and successful branch on a media have any standing in this conversation but whatever

now lets scroll down and talk about the term racebending

the term racebending was coined around 2009 in response to the avatar the last airbender movie a film in which the east asian races of the characters were erased by casting white actors in the three leading roles of aang sokka and katara 

whenever the term racebending is used in a negative light it is almost always a case of whitewashing like casting scarlett johansen in ghost in the shell or the casting of white actors of the prince of persia sands of time instead of iranian ones

this kind of racebending erases minorities from beeing seen in media and is wrong

all that being said however racebending has also been noted to have very positive after effects like the 1997 adaptation of cinderella or casting samuel jackson as nick fury in the marvel movies nick fury was originally a white guy can you even imagine

i read this piece from an academic that said quote writers can change the race and cultural specificity of central characters or pull a secondary character of color from the margins transforming them into the central protagonist unquote

racebending like the kind that rae is so heated about is the kind of creative freedom that leads to more representation of bipoc in media which will never be a bad thing ever no matter how pissy you get about it

designing a version of a character as a poc isnt serving to make them necessarily better it serves to give new perspective and perhaps the opportunity to connect even more deeply with a character it doesnt marginalize or erase white people it can uplift poc and if you think uplifting poc is wrong because it tears down white people or whatever youre a fucking moron and you need to get out of your podunk white folk town and see the real world

the numbers of times a bipoc particularly a bipoc that is also lgbt+ has been represented in media are dwarfed by what i as a white dude have seen myself represented in media is and that isnt okay that isnt equality and its something that should change not only in mainstream media but in fandom spaces as well

lets move down a bit further to the part about bullying straight people which is hilarious and lets also talk about the term fetishistic as well lets start with that

this person literally writes explicit pornography of a minor and an adult are we really going to let someone like that dictate what is and what isnt fetishistic

similarly to doing a positive racebend situation people may project lgbt+ headcanons on a character because its part of who they are and it helps them feel closer to the character and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that

depicting lgbt+ subject matter on existing characters isnt an inherently fetishistic action generally things only really become fetishistic when the media is being crafted and hyped by people who are outside of lgbt+ community for example how young teens used to flip a tit about yaoi or how chasers fetishize trans people

but drawing a character with top surgery scars or headcanoning them as trans is harmless and its just another way to interpret a character literally anone could be trans unless if their character bio says theyre cis and most of them dont go that deep so it really is open to interpretation and on the whole most creators encourage this sort of exploration because it is a good thing to get healthy representation out in the world

as for it being used to bully straights thats just funny i dont have anything else on that like if youre straight and you feel threatened and bullied because of someone headcanoning someone as anything that isnt cishet youre a fucking idiot and a weak baby idiot at that like the real world must fucking suck for you because lgbt+ people are everywhere and statistically a big chunk of your favorite characters arent cishet sorry be mad about it

lets roll down a bit further about the big meat of the issue which was when several artists were drawing interpretations of lydia as a black girl which i loved but clearly this person didnt love it because they have a very narrow and very racist and problematic view of what it means to be a black person

and before i move forward i must reiderate that i am a white person and you should listen to the thoughts of poc people like @fright-of-their-lives​ or @gender-chaotic it is not my place to explain what the black experience is like and it certainly isnt this persons either

implying that the story of a black person isnt worth telling unless if the character faces struggles like racism and prejudice is downright moronic 

why use the word kissable to describe a black persons lips now thats what i call fetishistic and its to another extreme if youre talking about a black version of lydia on top of that

the author of this post says herself that shes white so clearly shes the person whos an authority on the black experience and what it means to be a black person right am i reading that right or am i having a fucking conniption

how about allowing black characters to exist without having to struggle why cant a black version of lydia just be a goth teenager with a ghost problem who likes photography and is also black like she doesnt have to move to a hick town and get abused by racist folks she doesnt have to go through any more shit than she already goes through and if you honestly think thats the only way to tell a black persons story you need to get your brain cleaned

you know nothing about the complexities about being a black person and i dont either but you know wh odo black people who are doing black versions of canon characters they fucking know 

lets squiggle down just a bit further 

so the writer has issues with giving characters traits like a broad nose or larger lips if theyre a woman but if theyre a man suddenly its totally okay to go all ryan murphy ahs coven papa legba appropriation when approaching character design like are you fucking stupid do you hear yourself is that really how you see black men like what the fuck is wrong with you

none of the shit youre spewing takes bravery it takes ignorance and supreme levels of stupidity

do you really think you with your fic where a black lgbt+ woman is tortured and abused where you use the n word with a hard r to refer to her like that shits not okay its fucking depraved and yeah we know you love being shitty but like christ on a bike thats so much 

can we also talk about this

what the fuck is this fetishistic bull roar garbage calling this black character beyonce dressing her up in quote fuck me heels unquote are you are you seriously gonna write this and say its a shining example of how to write a black character youre basically saying ope here she is shes a sex icon haha im so progressive and i clealry understand the black experience hahahaha fuck you oh my god

on top of that theres a point where this character is only referred to as curly hair or the fact that the n word is used in the fic with the hard r like thats hands down not okay for you to use especially not in a manner like this jesus christ

oop heres a little more a sampling for you of the hell i am enduring in reading this drivel

oh boy lets put a leash on the angry black woman character lets put her in a leash and have the man imply hes a master like are you kidding me are you for real and what the fuck is with calling her shit like j lo and beyonce do you actually think thats clever at all are you just thinking of any poc that comes into your head for this 

also lydia fucking tells this girl that she shouldnt have lost her temper like she got fucking leashed im so tired why is this writing so problematic and also so bad

hold up before i lose my head lets look at some of her own comments on the matter of this character and what happens to her

hi hello youre just casually tossing the word lynch out there in the wide open world as if thats not a problem that is still real like are you fucking unhinged there have been multiple cases of this exact thing happening in our firepit of a country in the last five months alone like how can you still have shit like this up for people to read how can you be proud of work like this in this climate

and also what the fuck is that last bit 

what the actual fuck

i dont speak for black people as a white person but you do!? im sorry i had to get my punctuation out for that because wow thats fucking asinine just because one black person read your fic and didnt find the torture and abuse of your one black character abhorrant doesnt mean that the vast majority of people not only in the fandom but in the human population with decency are going to think its okay because its not 

i started this post hoping to be level headed and professional but jesus fucking christ this woman is something else white nationalism is alive and well folks and its name is rae

if you defend this woman you defend some truly abhorrant raecism

editors notes 

in order to get some perspective on these issues more fully some of the writing by the author was examined and on the whole it was pretty unreadable but i want to just call back to the very beginning of this essay where the person in question talked about holding canon in high regard but then in their writing they just go around giving people magic and shit and ignoring the end of the movie entirely like are you canon compliant or nah 

the writing doesnt even read like beetlejuice fanfic it reads as self indulgent fiction you could easily change the names and its just a bad fanfic from 2007

also can we talk about writing the lesbian character as an angry man hater like its 2020 dude and als olets touch on that girl on girl pandering while beetlejuice is just there like here we go fetishizing again wee

i cant find a way to work this into this already massive post but

im going to throw up

okay so thats a lot we have covered a lot today and im sure my ask box will regret it but this definitely should have been more picked apart when it happened

please feel free to add more to this i would love more perspectives than just my own.

[acecademia]

What would you change about fan fiction if you could change anything about it? Do you ever write your fan fiction?

Hi, nonny!

Hmmm. There are a couple of things I think I would change, I guess. Firstly, I'd want to change public perception of fanfiction. Outside of fandom, it still has that persistent reputation for being trashy, self-indulgent smut. Which, to be fair, some of it is, and that is totally valid. But that's not all that fanfiction is. There's a lot more to it. I have read a million fanfictions that are better than actual published novels I've read.

This is more fandom-targeted than fanfiction, specifically, I suppose, but I'd change purity culture and the prevalence of racism and misogyny that exist within fandom and fanfiction.

Purity culture because it's dumb. People are going to write what they want to write. You're not "protecting the kids" by censoring those writers. You're just censoring them. Calm down and maybe stop thinking that everything everyone writes ever has to be moralistic and good and teach valuable lessons. Some people just want to write super fucked up shit. Let them.

The racism issue has been addressed before by a lot of people who are more qualified to speak about it than I am, but it's unsurprising that the majority of the top western-media-based ships on AO3 are still super white.

The main misogynistic issue I see in fandom is the demonization and bashing of female characters who "come between" a m/m ship. Am I guilty of having read these kinds of fics as a teenager? Yeah. Have I grown since then? Hell yeah. I'm not saying every female character has to be treated like they're perfect angels who can do no wrong, but there still exists a trope in fanfiction where a female character who has been romantically linked to one of the characters in a m/m ship being cast as a vapid harpy who's Literally The Worst because they dared to "come between" the author's ship. (We also see this in RPF and Bandom where an actual living breathing woman has the audacity to date a male celebrity who's obviously secretly in love with his bandmate)

We also see from the analysis I linked above that, of the top 100 ships on AO3 for 2020, only 22 of the 200 names belong to women. Only 3 of those ships were f/f. And yeah, some of that is going to be due to the fetishization of m/m relationships, but some of it is also due to the fact that, in a lot of media that gets really popular, there just aren't a lot of female characters. Look at Supernatural. Or the Marvel Cinematic Universe (which is kind of getting better? I guess?). Or Star Wars. (Jenny Nicholson did a great breakdown of one of their attempts to market to girls here. Spoiler: their attempt backfired spectacularly, in part because there just like aren't a lot of female characters??? It's 30 minutes, and I've watched it all the way through at least 5 times.) So, really, the way to fix this is to have more media actually, y'know, include women. And nonbinary people. And more queer people. And people of color. Look, we gotta change a lot about mainstream media in order to get the kind of fanfiction we deserve. (Not that I don't absolutely adore fanfiction with every fiber of my being--I can love something and still acknowledge its flaws.)

Anyway, that's my big rant for the day.

In terms of writing my own fanfic, I have one story that's still up on a couple of sites (no, I'm not linking to it). It's a rewrite of a story I started and abandoned in middle school. The new version got abandoned, too--shocker! I mainly keep it up because some people seemed to be upset at the possibility of it being deleted so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I just don't really read a lot in that fandom anymore, and what I do read is vastly different from what I was into when I first wrote the original version of the fic when I was like 12 and the rewrite I started at 17.

Last October, I went on a writing binge and basically did my own NaNoWriMo a month early. I wrote over 50k words in like 27 days? And then, when October ended, I wrote about 10k more before I got distracted with finals and abandoned that project. I'll come back to it eventually, maybe when Netflix finally announces season 2 🙃🙃🙃 (Y'all, it's been NINE MONTHS. At least tell us if we're getting a season 2 of Julie and the Phantoms. We deserve that much. Don't keep us in suspense, Netflix. Also I'll be pissed if it's canceled.)

Mostly, I just write fanfiction in my head as I go to sleep. I don't write them down often. I might jot down a couple of ideas here and there, but mainly, I just make up multiple versions of what is effectively the same handful of stories but like slightly different lmao

[its-bound-to-get-loud]

Why I believe 5SOS didn’t work as a pop-punk band (+ my opinion on THAT Rolling Stone article)

This title of this post may be an unpopular opinion for a lot of you. But I don’t believe 5SOS worked as a pop-punk band. In this post I will explain exactly why. I hope that even if you don’t agree, you will at least understand my POV. This post is probably gonna have a lot of text. Not a lot of links, videos or pictures involved. I hope it will still be interesting for you. All of this is just my personal opinion, I have no way of proving that this is 100% true. It’s just a careful deduction of things I’ve seen and thought about over the last few months, mixed with some personal opinions. With this post I’m trying to tackle some topics that are being talked about often and showing them in a different light. I’ve put quite a lot of time into writing this, so I’m hoping you will appreciate it. Finally a huge, massive thank you to my friend R for proofreading this, it means a lot to me.

To start things off, I’ve had quite a lot of thoughts about this topic: I don’t think 5SOS truly worked as a pop-punk band. The image didn’t fit them and it wasn’t right for their era. It was a fun sound, I enjoy listening to it, they probably even enjoyed making it. Obviously fans enjoyed it as well. I fully believe that when they first started, pop-punk is what the guys wanted to sound like. It’s the music they listened to, those were the bands they looked up to. When they got signed they had not been a band for a super long time, they were young and barely had any experience in both life and music. I’m not someone with an extensive knowledge of pop-punk groups, but from what I know a lot of these bands were misfits, outcasts. People who didn’t feel like they had a place in society. In some cases from broken homes, with bad childhoods, etc. That’s who they were and it’s what their music was about.

I’d say 5SOS as whole do fit those characteristics. They were from a small town where music wasn’t really a career for most people. So they felt the need to get out of their town and pursue music. Michael dropped out of school for music, Ashton obviously had a very difficult home situation. Calum has mentioned that his family didn’t have a lot of money when he was younger. I’m not sure how the situation was for the others. But besides this, everyone but Ashton came from a stable home, Calum’s parents separated later on. So I can see why the guys related to these pop punk bands put out songs about this. Especially when you’re a teenager you often feel misunderstood by everyone else.

But when 5SOS started they looked more like a boyband than a pop punk band. Their earliest songs were mostly love songs. While the boys might have felt like being a pop punk band, and maybe even considered themselves to be one, I would say they were more of a pop/pop rock band.

In some cases a label can mold an artist or band into a certain image upon signing. But 5SOS had already gathered a following before they were even signed, so molding them into a rougher pop-punk image right upon signing would not have worked, it would not have been organic. They probably didn’t want to alienate the fans they already had, because they were valuable in getting the word out about 5SOS.

Their first manager, Adam Wilkinson, didn’t seem to think 5SOS would work as a pop-punk band as well. Just look at these quotes taken from That infamous 2015 Rolling Stone article (I will not link it, because I despise it, just google if you feel the need to read it).

“While they cannot cross into the realm of pop punk, they can stand on the sidelines and capture the end of that market.”

“They always wanted to be Blink 182 or Good Charlotte, but I’ll be the first to admit I thought that was shooting too far,” says Wilkinson. “We tried to make them a little more pop.”

That last quote is basically what happened. 5SOS ended up connected to One Direction, a huge pop act at the time. A connection that wasn’t as much of a “coincidence” as they wanted to make it look like. Louis was never the one to truly discover 5SOS, this was simply a smart PR decision to connect 5SOS to the 1D fanbase and grow their audience. I highly suggest reading this post that lays out exactly how 5SOS came to get signed and how their connection to 1D began. You will see that there is clear evidence that it didn’t happen like they wanted us to believe.

And let’s be real. Take a look at this early 5SOS picture. Does this look like the next Green Day or All Time Low? They all look like the boy next door, with maybe the exception of Michael. Basically they had the looks of a boyband, and while they never have been a traditional boyband (and certainly aren’t now), they certainly were marketed as one early on. This is a label that still sticks to them to this day.

I fully believe that their team (management/record label) tried to slowly evolve them into a more pop-punk image as they got bigger. They couldn’t ride the 1D train forever and had to stand on their own 2 feet. That’s where we arrive at the Sounds Good Feels Good era. This is a fascinating era for me, because there is a shift. Their looks start changing, suddenly they slowly become rockstars, piercings start happening. The boys are growing up. They are old enough to drink, girls are in the picture, etc. Musically it’s also clear that their sound is changing. The self-titled album is still fairly pop-rock, 1D but a little edgier perhaps. Sounds Good Feels Good is the more pop-punk album. But is it really? Because as most fans will know, the album knows 2 sounds. It has the clear pop-punk bops, such as Money or Safety Pin (to name a few), but there’s also some songs that already predict the sound for Youngblood such as, for example, Waste The Night and Vapor. It’s clear to me that while they probably still enjoyed their pop-punk sound the guys were growing up and were slowly discovering what music their sound as a band should be.

If we’re being honest for a moment. What songs from SGFG really feel the most personal? Sure, She’s Kinda Hot is a bop, but what about Vapor? Vapor is by far my favorite song on the album, it tells me a story, it makes me feel emotion. Now I’m very biased towards SKH, because (unpopular opinion) I don’t like the song much because of the lyrics. But that’s a different story (we may get to that someday). There is nothing wrong with a song that’s a bop, you need those. I could enjoy SKH if it wasn’t for the lyrics. But bops can have meaning too. SKH doesn’t in my opinion. Besides the fact that the guys were growing up and maturing their sound, the music scene just wasn’t very pop-punk or even rock based anymore. It wasn’t a sound that was popular anymore.

I took a look at the billboard charts and pulled some statistics. Friday October 23 was the release date for SGFG. The Top 3 Billboard hot 100 songs that week were

The Weeknd – The Hills

Drake – Hotline Bling

Justin Bieber – What Do You Mean?

The songs/artists closest to 5SOS in sound in the WHOLE Billboard Hot 100 that week were One Direction – Drag Me Down, Fall Out Boy – Uma Thurman and Twenty One Pilots – Stressed Out. That’s 3 songs in a list of 100 songs and you can debate how close the sound of those actually was to the sound of 5SOS at the time.

Taking a look at the Billboard 200 Year-End chart, the #1 is Taylor Swift – 1989. SGFG ended up at #136 (keep in mind that the album was released in October, so close to the end of the year). 5SOS self-titled ended up at #73. The LIVESOS album ranked #176. There’s a few other records that can be considered rock in the list, but barely any pop-punk in the whole chart. The only one to be considered for that title would be Fall Out Boy’s – American Beauty/American Psycho album, which was #15.

Pop-punk or rock in general, wasn’t a popular sound that topped the charts around the time 5SOS got started as a mainstream act. Number 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 the week 5SOS released their first ep (Unplugged) was Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen. The real mainstream success of pop-punk was mostly in the late 90’s running all the way through the early 2000’s. This is why I wonder why the label tried to make them into a pop-punk band in the first place. My best guess is that their team relied on the fans to push the success of the band forward after they came off of 1D’s Where We Are tour. They might have tried to create an edgier version of 1D with similar success. Where you create a fan base that is big enough to support the band without the need of casual listeners or fans from different demographics (male, female, old, young, etc.).

I think they relied too much on 1D fans to gravitate towards 5SOS as well, which may have been a mistake. Not all 1D fans actually liked 5SOS, some even actively stayed away from them the more they were pushed under their noses. When I entered the 1D fandom in 2014 most things I saw about 5SOS were negative. 1D fans considered them problematic and didn’t like them. This is partially why I steered away from 5SOS at the time. Besides that, I had enough going on with 1D to keep me occupied. Of course 5SOS’s fan base still grew quite a bit from the 1D exposure, but they never got to the same heights as 1D did. In several interviews the guys have said that they were being called “the biggest band that nobody has ever heard of”.

On a more personal note. As a recent fan, the whole pop-punk image never felt very genuine to me. Which might be because I came into the fandom backwards, starting with CALM and going back to their older material after that (side note: I did listen to the Youngblood album once or twice before). Don’t get me wrong, I love SGFG, I play it regularly. Money is a banger, Hey Everybody!, a bop, Permanent Vacation, love it! But as a fan I like to identify with songs and recognize that the artist is telling something that is personal to them. I don’t get that feeling from some of these songs. 

An example of a song that is emotional, yet (mostly) not personal to the band is Broken Home. It’s a beautiful song, but I generally skip it. 1, because it’s a very sad song and it’s not always something I’m in the mood for. 2, because it’s not a song I relate to on a personal level. And most importantly 3, I don’t see the song relating to 5SOS as people, other than maybe Ashton. An interesting quote about the song, made by their producer John Feldman, is on the genius page for this song.

“Other than Ashton, the three guys have parents who are still together. Ashton has never met his father. Ashton really connected into the theme. “We’re saying something with this song, it’s going to connect with the audience, at least 50% of our audience comes from broken homes. We’re actually taking a stand.” The other guys are loyal and family-driven and sweet, so they were like, “What are our parents going to think about us singing about a broken home when we don’t come from broken homes? How authentic is it?” It was a two-month debate.”

So the guys themselves were already questioning the authenticity of the topic when they were recording it. Ashton connected to the theme of the song, but the others didn’t. It wasn’t something they had experienced. It doesn’t say why the song made it on the album anyway. As stated in the quote, a lot fans can relate to it. I’m sure many fans found comfort in the song, which is a nice thing. The song doesn’t make you relate to the band though. If any of them had written this song from a personal experience it would have connected a lot differently. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing that the song is not personal, it just doesn’t feel very genuine when you know the artist has no relation to the story they are telling.

Moving on to the 2015 Rolling Stone article I have mentioned before. This seems to cause some division among fans. Was it all true or was it made up? My opinion is that it’s a mixture of truth and BS. But a whole lot of it feels taken out context or exaggerated. I have been a fan since March, so I wasn’t around at the time this came out. But since becoming a fan I have watched tons of interviews and clips and have extensively discussed this band with my friend, so I’d like to say I have done my homework and have a good picture of this band. On top of that I’d like to think being a 1D fan sharpened my critical thinking skills and might have helped me see through certain bullshit. I don’t claim to be the person with all the answers, but maybe my thoughts make sense to some people. There might be some context that I’m missing or facts that I haven’t come across, if you feel like there’s a piece of information I’m missing, feel free to let me know.

The way the article starts, it reads like fanfiction. Literally. The extensive description of the surroundings, the time of day, everything. The first time I read it, it made me cringe so hard I had trouble getting through the whole thing. First things first. This interview takes place the day after the AMA’s. Who the fuck scheduled this? Either someone should have prevented them from getting drunk and partying, or they should have scheduled this on another day when these guys were in a better state of mind. That is, assuming things went the way they went as described in the article. Which is something I highly doubt.

The only direct source saying that this article is not genuine is this tweet from Luke. Besides that I have only read secondhand that the band and people surrounding them have spoken up about the inaccuracy of the article.

Some people believe 5SOS could have sued Rolling Stone for slander if this article was really as false as they claim. Now I’m no lawyer, but this is not how things work in the entertainment industry. An article like this has been agreed upon before. The interviewer didn’t just decide to drop by one day. During celebrity interviews there’s always someone from their management or PR team around to make sure they don’t say any stupid shit. Celebrities are a brand, they have an image to protect, albums to sell. If they say things that make them look bad it can cause damage to their good name. Record companies have invested money in artists and they want to see a profit in return. They don’t want to risk losing money, that’s why celebrities have PR teams. RS may have had a reputation for being a very honorable publication, but these days that’s not the case. They are not that far removed from cheap gossip rags such as the Sun or The Daily Mail nowadays. They still get read by a lot of people, which puts them in a position of power. Often when an interview takes place there are certain topics that have been agreed upon before, there are also topics that can be blacklisted if the artist or their team doesn’t want them talked about. For example relationships or family matters. These will also be agreed upon beforehand.

Here is a story about a former journalist for the British tabloid The Daily Star, who has admitted to making up stories and explains how they get away with it.

For arguments sake, let’s say the guys slipped up and showed their “true colors”. With a big publication like this it’s common that their team would have to approve the article before it comes out. If there’s anything in there that was not agreed upon that they don’t like, the article can be edited.

This leaves us a few possibilities.

The article is completely true and their team is shit at their job. They failed to prevent the boys from slipping up about stuff they shouldn’t and did nothing to stop Rolling Stone from publishing.

The article is true and their team just allowed the article to be published for whatever reason.

The article isn’t true, but their team let it happen anyway, possibly because they wanted to move the band away from their boyband image into a more punk-rock image that went with their sound.

My vote goes out to the last one. I think their team wanted to make the boys look more edgy/punk-rock and get rid of their boyband image and this is how they tried to do it. I think parts of the article may be true, but a lot of it is greatly exaggerated and in some cases made up. If my theory is true, it also means 5SOS or their team had no reason to sue Rolling Stone if they wanted to. Because it would mean you have a major publication on your bad side, which means no more future promotional opportunities for the band and/or the label. While Rolling Stone may be trash, it’s a publication that a lot of people read. Therefore it’s a very important connection that you don’t want on your bad side.

If you still think they could have sued Rolling Stone then take a look at some examples from 1D. 1D has been targeted by the British tabloid The Sun for YEARS. They wrote the most awful shit, a lot of it not true. Yet they still had exclusive scoops whenever something important happened. Exclusive meaning, these topics were given to them exclusively for publishing. It was proven that their PR manager is friends with the journalist from The Sun responsible for most of the stuff written. 1D never sued The Sun for those articles, because they most likely were agreed upon by their team beforehand. 1D has never tried suing the Sun over anything, despite what they wrote. This was not 1 article, these were many articles. Especially towards the end of 1D, when it was clear their label was losing 1D, there was a smear campaign in the media to discredit 1D and its members. There was a chance some members were going to sign with a competing label, and that’s something their label didn’t like. Here is a good collection of headlines from that smear campaign. Nobody ever got sued over these articles.

Do you still think 5SOS could have just stood up and sued Rolling Stone? The entertainment business is full of politics. If you don’t play the game you’re out. Also, question yourself. Why does Luke still say the article was twisted and inaccurate 4,5 years later? He has owned up and apologized for past mistakes, yet he keeps insisting the article didn’t tell the truth. He even goes to say that the article “broke and hurt him”. If you believe Luke is still covering his ass for what he said in that article, that essentially would he mean he is emotionally manipulating people by saying the article hurt him. Is that the person you think Luke is?

1 more thing I want to point out. Yes, I am aware of the fact that Calum has a large version of the magazine cover hanging around in his house. I can’t say exactly why. This is my best guess. That cover was still a big thing in their career, despite the article, it is still a Rolling Stone cover. That’s a milestone that not every artist gets to do in their career. Just because he has the cover hanging around doesn’t mean he enjoyed the article that came with it.

This whole post has gotten super long, it may not be the easiest thing to get through. So thank you if you made it till the end. As stated before, this whole thing is mostly just my opinion. But the parts about how PR teams work are a fact. I do not work in the music or entertainment industry, I’m not a lawyer, so I may have gotten some things wrong. If I did, please let me know and I will try to fix it. Feedback is always appreciated.

[sirsparklepants]

A Second Skin: Billy Hargrove’s Leather Jacket as Queer Symbol

We talk a good bit about how queer-coded Billy Hargrove’s behavior and circumstances are, but I think Harringrove shippers, as a fandom, are missing something. Today I want to talk about Billy’s leather jacket, both the significance of the clothing item itself and the circumstances in which he wears it in season 2.

The jacket Billy wears is a leather bomber jacket, very similar to the styles worn by James Dean and Marlon Brando. Which is pretty significant. Yes, they are both celebrities who popularized wearing the leather jacket, but they’re also, significantly, men who’ve been with other men. They’re also gay icons. The leather bar subculture, which is notoriously gay, was an outgrowth of gay men imitating Dean and Brando’s look and the look of many motorcycle clubs at the time. Later, of course, it became a haven for gay men who wished to practice S&M.

The fact that the leather bar look of the 50s and 60s was an outgrowth of the motorcycle club look is also significant. Motorcycle clubs were, by and large, started by men who returned from service in WWII and missed the cameraderie of a homosocial environment. Not everyone in a motorcycle club at that time was queer, but they were much, much more sexually permissive than mainstream society of the time.

(The rest of Billy’s image, by the way, seems very calculated to walk the line between “heterosexual bad boy” and “undercover queer man”. The muscle car and the heavy metal are, upon first glance, a classic symbol of heterosexual machismo. However, while generally much less permissive than the punk scene of the time, the metal scene was still far from socially acceptable, and tended to draw in outcasts like queer kids. The long hair is cut into a mullet, socially acceptable at the time, but the time taken to make sure it looks the way he wants it to is not. Earrings for men in the mid-80s were still socially taboo, especially in a small town. The amount of jewelry overall to his look, in fact, is rather gender ambiguous for the time.)

Now that we’ve established that leather jackets in general and especially leather in the style that Billy wears have a long weight of queer history behind them, let’s get into when, exactly, he wears the jacket(s) - there’s two but one only appears once.

The first time we see Billy in a leather jacket is at the Halloween party, when he famously crosses a whole room full of drunk people just to stare directly into the eyes of another man for a whole minute or so. I wish I could phrase this more seriously, but... I can’t. One other thing of note, here: Billy is, I guess, dressed up like the Terminator, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s breakthrough role. Before he was an actor, Schwarzenegger was a bodybuilder on Muscle Beach in California. This was the area that started the gym gays trend in I believe the mid to late 80s. Combine that with no shirt and knowing Billy is supposed to be from California, and some associations are very easy to draw.

The next time we see Billy wear a leather jacket is when he picks Max up from school and jokes that he’s going to run her friends over. Which is an asshole move, obviously. But he does so after an argument about why they had to move, which sounds very coded, and to my mind he’s clearly motivated by jealousy that Max is coming out okay after a move that clearly disrupted his entire life. This is in the middle of the storyline of two boys vying for Max’s attention, and that jealousy could easily be extended to Max’s ability to have “normal” romantic interests and relationships.

In the next scene with this jacket, Billy engages in extensive grooming and prepping for his date - clearly more than was considered acceptably masculine at the time, given what his father says. It doesn’t feel coincidental that he’s wearing the jacket just before getting into an argument with his father where he is physically pushed around and berated using gay slurs.

Then there’s the scene with Mrs. Wheeler. Billy flirts with her, but it seems clear that the flirting is just cover for manipulation. Billy knows how to use his appearance and an adult woman’s sexuality to get what he wants - something generally out of reach for most teenage boys. Worth noting is that Billy explicitly disavows attraction to a girl his own age in the course of the conversation. The viewer is meant to conclude that he’s interested in older women instead, but as his charming facade drops as soon as he’s out of sight, that’s a difficult conclusion to reach.

Finally, we have the fight scene. The leather jacket here is notable for being shrugged off in cold November weather when it would make much more sense, practically, to leave it on. However, if we take the previous evidence to conclude that Billy’s leather jacket is a symbol of queerness, an easy answer emerges. Billy takes the jacket off before confronting the boy he’s had several sexually charged encounters with because the whole confrontation is him trying to shed his attraction to men the way he’s shed that jacket. Internalized homophobia as well as the external he’s received from his father causes him to lash out, as if he can beat his queerness out of himself by beating the target of his attraction. Over the course of the season, Billy has invented several reasons to touch Steve, much like the Barbara Kruger piece Intricate Rituals, but this is clearly the most violent. His father illustrated to him earlier that night the only acceptable way for touches between men to happen, and he is transferring that onto Steve.

I don’t think the writers intended this in any way, but I find the idea of Billy’s jacket being a queer symbol to be oddly compelling. I think there’s certainly enough evidence for it.

[lightpunster]

Ambiguous-Immortal-Teen Relationships: A (Very Long) Precedent-based Plea for Tolerance

Hey so I know this is going to make people mad but I need to get if off my chest. We all know that pedophiles have organized and invaded a lot of social media sites (Tumblr, Twitter, etc.) and are attempting to label themselves as an oppressed group. This has made a lot of fandoms increasingly vigilant and intolerant of any content that could be construed as pedophilia. While I condemn pedophilia and agree that we need to fight this movement, I am concerned that a lot of the hyper-vigilance and virtue signaling I have seen in this regard is misguided. Let me explain. The fandoms I am referring to are for animated shows, whose casts are often comprised primarily of teenagers. While there are adults present in these shows, I have seen little content pairing them with the underage cast in this context (although I acknowledge it exists). Instead what I see a lot is pairing of underage main characters with characters who appear to be a similar age, but are “ambiguously immortal”. Some examples of this are the ship Stevinel from Steven Universe, which pairs a 17 year old boy with an immortal ageless alien, and Rosegarden from RWBY, which pairs a 16 year-old girl with a 14 year-old boy who, in addition to his own soul, has the reincarnated soul of another man inhabiting his body.

Now to some of you, especially those of you familiar with discourse around these shows, these ships may sound like pedophilia; and I could argue that despite clear age differences, they have similar values and experiences and are at similar stages in development and blah blah blah. However, I am always worried about these arguments (on their own anyway) because I know these are pedophile talking point in real life; “They acted older!” or “I have a young soul!” are NOT EXCUSES for pedophilia (there are no excuses, get help). So why should fictional media be any different?

Do any of you remember the YA series Percy Jackson and the Olympians? In one of these books, the titular Percy, 16, is trapped on an island with a teenage-looking girl named Calypso who falls in love with him and they kiss. It turns out that she is an immortal Titan who has been cursed to live on this island forever, falling in love over and over with the teenage guys who wash up on her island. What about the animated series Avatar the Last Airbender? Aang, 12, is the reincarnation of thousands of past Avatar, and those past lives watch over him and he can commune with them through meditation. In the series, he falls in love with and kisses Katara, a 14-year old girl, who he later marries. Multiple of his past lives and his next life are also shown to have relationships with teenagers. Any Twilight fans out there? Remember when 100+ year old vampire Edward made out with 17-year old Bella? That was mainstream for a while. I know we’ve got some Adventure Time watchers out there. Remember when 800+ year-old candy-elemental Princess Bubblegum kissed 14-year old Finn in season 3? I think she actually kissed him twice in that season. Finally, I think it’s a little less mainstream, but in YA novel Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox, 14-year old boy genius Artemis and 80 year old elf Holly Short (80 is basically a young adult elf) travel back in time. Because of some weird timey-wimey stuff, Artemis is “aged up” to 18 and Holly is aged back to her 30s (equivalent of “adolescant”/teenager) although they retain all of their memories. And you guessed it; they kiss. If you think all of this media is pedophile propaganda, then my argument is not going to convince you so you might as well leave. However, I hope that some of you are thinking “Wait a minute, I remember that! Why didn’t I think it was wrong at the time?” Well I’m here to tell you that it was not wrong. All of the things I’ve just mentioned do not actually exist. Not only are they fictional characters in works of fiction, but the actual mechanics which enable them to happen do not exists and are impossible; there are no immortal aliens or titans, no reincarnation, no vampires, none of it. So when you call those things pedophilia, a sexual attraction of humans above the age of 18 to humans below 18, it is not correct legally or morally. Essentially, I believe that when we talk about magical beings who live a long time, it makes no sense to judge a relationship appropriate or inappropriate because the other character is under 18. For some relationships, it will be fine and healthy and beautiful; for others, it would be toxic and dangerous if they were 17, 18, 19, 35, etc. Age is an ok metric for teenage and young adult humans when it comes to maturity and ability to avoid being taken advantage of (less good for older adults, but of course absolutely critical for children). However, it does not transcend all fictional species or scenarios when you start throwing things like magic and immortality into the mix. So all I’m asking is that when you see content for ships likes these, whether cannon or fan-created, please do not rush to call those creators pedophiles purely because of age of the characters; make a judgement base on the character of the characters: are they really toxic for each or might they actually be good together? And if you decide that the relationship IS toxic or IS pedophilia, feel free to point that out...but make sure you are criticizing the ART, not the PERSON. I’d like to remind everyone that art is not reality; you may FEEL differently, but actual evidence has shown that depictions of pedophilia do not encourage pedophilia any more than playing violent video games encourages violence, and everyone has a right to enjoy media in their own way. Save your energy for fighting real pedophiles, not imaginary ones.

[aro-vampire]

The aro experience when you're a teenager: an example alloros hopefully can understand

*STRANGER THINGS SEASON 3 SPOILERS AHEAD*

So, it starts in the first episode, and we're introduced a year after the ending of the last season.

The show is about 6 friends that are between the ages of 14-15, where 4 of the characters are in relationships at the beginning (michael is with eleven, max is with lucas) and 2 of them are presumed to be single (will and dustin), but in the first episode we're told dustin actually is in a relationship with someone.

That leaves us to Will, he starts to feel more and more alone when his Mike and Lucas leave him out of conversations. he just wants to play d&d with his friends. he just wants to go back in time where all of his friends spent time with him. when they weren't so invested in having relationships.

He is left to his own, dustin starts hanging out with steve and robin, while mike and lucas just talk about girls. will feels left out because he doesn't have a girlfriend, and it's not his fault. he gets ignored when he plays with his friends, leaving him out of the conversation all the time.

In the third chapter, he just explodes. he goes to Mike's basement, and finally convices mike and lucas to play d&d with him. but mike and lucas just weren't in it, they were talking about how eleven and max dumped them and how they were planning on taking them back.

Will tells them several times that it isn't that important, and that they can talk about it later when the game finishes. mike and lucas continue to ignore him and keep talking.

This is where it happens, will gets so mad that he says it: he tells them that he feels left out, that they have to "stop caring about kissing stupid girls" and that he missed the old days when they would just spend time together.

Mike doesn't understand him, and tells him that they are grown up now, that it was something that had to happen at some point. will is told the classic "you will meet someone" and mike tells him that "it's not his fault that he doesn't like girls".

will is clearly hurt. he finds out that his friends, the ones that are supposed to care about him and make him feel understood, tell him that he's a freak for not having a girlfriend, that he has to have one or else he's just being "childish".

then he just leaves his friends and goes to "the castle byers", he cries while he remembers all those memories with his friends and that they're not kids anymore...

he is having a breakdown because he can't love.

what i loved about this episode specifically is the realness of his experience. i found myself crying this whole scene because i know how it feels like to be left out because of my aromanticism. specially when you're a teenager and everyone around you is having relationships.

people laught at you. people ignore you. they tell you that you'll "grow up" and eventually find someone, even those who are supposed to support you and listen to your experiences: your "friends".

Another thing i just wanted to point out: the way the fandom took this sideplot.

All I've seen is people making jokes out of it, not a single person actually thinking about this part of his identity in a serious way (which just makes this MORE realistic). everyone is just seeing it as if he's the weirdo that mike is treating him like.

It's just one of the little things that remind you of society's idea of romance:

"you aren't relevant to us if you aren't in a relationship"

"you are broken, and need to find someone to fix you if you can't love"

"you need to find someone to be with romantically, your friends won't be always there for you"

"you're just being childish for wanting something in life other than romance"

Finally, there was a realistic experience portrayed in mainstream media related to amatonormativity and how aro people are treated, and y'all just decided to take it as a joke and as a way of making fun of a character.

[erineliz]

I spent a lot of time thinking about and writing about my favorite Taylor Swift albums of all time and ranking them. It was a lot of work but I’d love to see other fans rankings and read why. Here’s mine:

1.folklore

2.fearless

3.reputation

4.taylor Swift

5.speak now

6.Red

7.lover

8.1989

So now that folklore has been out awhile, I’ve listened to it, memorized it, loved it. I’ve been reminiscing on old albums now, as you do. My album ranking opinion is probably a super unpopular one in the t-swift fandom that I follow but, I’m a different kind of swiftie I suppose. So I’ll try to further explain my opinions on these albums.

Starting from the bottom,

1989: this is last for me but in no way means it’s a bad album, I mean something has to be last but this one just was not my wildest dream lol. It started off with the release of shake it off before the rest of the album and this was the beginning of Taylor releasing my least favorite song first on quite a few albums (followed by LWYMMD and YNTCD, but we’ll get to those later) I love, love,love blank space and it was a huge bop for a long time after I first heard it. Prob the only thing that made me even want to listen to the rest of the album. Because, as you can see red didn’t fall very high on my list so to follow it up with just shake it off made me kind of feel like, am I over t Swift? 😯 shocking, I know. I was a senior in college when this was released, blank space was played loudly at a few house parties and I loved that everyone loved it too, not just me; a long time lover of swift. It always feels like an I told you so moment when people who aren’t swifties like one of her songs. I never bought this album, and didn’t have Apple Music at the time so I feel like I never really gave it the time and appreciation it deserved. Almost every song on it became a single and I did like a lot of them. The first time I heard New Romantics was when my sister was playing the deluxe cd in her car and I was like, what is this? I loved that song. I think I then looked into the album more and listened to the rest. It was ok, I liked clean because I was going through a breakup. I liked how you get the girl, I thought it was creative and also kind of related to my break up. Out of the woods was too repetitive for me, the rest of the songs were played on the radio so much that they just became overplayed and annoying to me. So yeah, although this was her most successful album by far, I think it was just too mainstream, over played and not for me! But still good overall, you know, because, it’s Taylor Swift.

Lover: it was hard for me to put this this low, because again, not a bad album. It started off by Releasing YNTCD and Me! Before the rest of the album and again I was just like meh... but I knew better in my career as a swiftie that these two singles meant nothing for what the rest of album would be. I really like a lot of the songs on this album, London boy, daylight, false god, cruel summer, the man..all really good! But just nothing that went down as a favorite swift song of all time. I love the aesthetic of this album, probably one of my faves. I love that it’s about love, it came out last year, right when I bought a house with my lover, and I listened to it many hours while painting our walls before we moved in. I feel like Taylor and I have gone through it all together, and lover was the epitome of where my relationship was with my fiancé, just like her and joe 💕 we made it through all the heartbreaks and this was the purple pink sky at the end of the tunnel! But still, she has made way better music IMO.

Red: This is the swift album that everyone thinks got snubbed by the Grammy’s. Most swifties would scoff at this ranking as well. But..again not a bad album, this album has some of her BEST songs/lyrics. But..also it has, and it hurts me to say this, some of her worst as well. Red is good, but if we’re taking albums as a WHOLE, that you can listen too without any skips, this is not that one for me. This album does have some of my favorite of all time songs: all too well(give me the 8 minute version,damnit), red, state of grace, treacherous. But then it also has..stay,stay,stay which I really think is just like, so corny and fake, you can tell it’s not about her life, it’s like a little country twangy but still like bubble gum pop. It just rubs me the wrong way and gets a skip when listening. This album was a huge turning point in her country to pop timeline and it has a good mix of her pop bops along with her pretty little guitar poetry. The pop singles on this album were not my fave. 22 is fun, I was 20-21 when this came out and everyone was jamming 22 on their 22nd b-days. IKYWT got sooo overplayed and annoying. Same with WANEEGBT. I love my t-swift deep cut, sad songs but some of these were just trying too hard at that, like sad beautiful tragic and the moment I knew. They were just tooo dramatic for me. But idk, maybe it’s just because I wasn’t going through heartbreak when this came out, I was about 3 years into a 6 year relationship so heartbreak hadn’t been relatable for awhile and wasn’t going to be for awhile longer. I loved the duets with Ed and Gary, so glad we got that again on folklore! I also think that this album appeals way more to a younger audience. I think I grew up a little by 2012 compared to when I was crying over boys listening to the first albums, not just in a sense of heartbreak but also like just the parts of red that are a little corny to me. I think she was still aiming for the young teeny bopper pop and I was kind of growing out of that stage in music, broadening my horizons if you will. I started listening to swift when I was like 15. I think I just was a little ahead of the target generation that this album was made for: But I still just wasn’t done with her or this album due to the minor cheesy parts. Because then she puts shit on there like the fucking bridge of all too well and I’m like ok she is still the greatest writer of all time. This was a long explanation for red, but I have so many feelings about it. And also, yeah.. it didn’t deserve a Grammy, all things considered. All too well could have had one for song of the year, but whatever.

Speak Now: this was a good album, I think it was very similar to fearless but not quite as iconic. fearless has kept its high rank over the years so because this was so similar, I can’t put it too low. It was exactly what I wanted after fearless, also I think it kind of explains too why red was a bit of a let down..it was a huge change from fearless and speak now. I guess I’m just slow to adapt to change? But anyways speak now has some of the best deep cuts, dear john, last kiss both so beautifully written. Real, raw. We all knew who they were about and the drama of these relationships was exciting because these were the days that’d we’d all hear stuff about who she was dating but never get the full story. then later hear about it in her albums..it was nice to get that kind of honesty from a celebrity, made us feel like we really knew her. Sparks fly is up there as favorite song of all time. Mean was such a clap back to her critics and had the country vibe and twang from her first album. Also, this album had songs about John Mayer, joe Jonas, Taylor lautner..and Kanye west? All huge names at the time. I have to admit, the Kanye west innocent song was a huggeee let down at the time. I know this bitch had worse thing to say than “you’re still an innocent” but..she was very deep into playing her nice girl role at the time. So thank god there was a rep era later on down the road! I was a freshman in college when this came out. Living in dorm rooms, listening to music on my laptop late at night with the lights out.

Taylor Swift: this is up there, because it just has to be. This is where it all started. Listening to country radio, hearing Tim McGraw for the first time. I myself being a huge Tim McGraw fan thinking, I hope someone does think of me when they think of Tim McGraw lol. And then, just on a whim somehow, looking up other songs by her..just to see. Now in 2006, looking up songs by an artist wasn’t as easy a task as it is now. I illegally downloaded music on limewire still at this point. And would then burn it to cds. And would later get my first iPod and transfer everything to that, because who wants to pay a dollar per song on iTunes? I’m sorry Taylor, but Not my mother. So, being 14-15, I had to find my own ways. Stay beautiful, our song, cold as you, picture to burn, should’ve said no..these songs were the words I was looking for in high school, going through teenage love and heart ache. Feeling the exact same way as her and wanting to just write these words on a paper and fucking send it to all these boys who made me sad. Wanting to be a famous singer just so these people could see how I feel and how they ruined everything. Pretending that Mary’s song was the story of my lover and I in an imaginary world. Like, for real. This album did something to me, because of this album no matter what happens in this life, if Taylor puts out music, I’m going to listen to it..just to see.

Reputation: this album was a huge turning point for her. And for me, as her fan. It was after 1989, so I wasn’t like, obsessively waiting to see what would be next. The whole cancel tswift thing happened and I heard about it, but it wasn’t like a huge deal. I was on her side, she didn’t do anything wrong and people were so quick to jump down her throat. but musically after 1989, I was not a hardcore swiftie, I still hadn’t adapted to the all pop era. I needed my Taylor swift on a guitar, pouring her heart out in her lyrics. And then, this happened and it was, for me, way better pop than anything on 1989 or red, by far. I was back to my obsessive swiftie ways, but in a whole new way. Every song on the album was a jam, she was speaking her mind, finally saying wayy more about kanye (and kim, ugh) than what we got on speak now.(ironic, because to me this album is when she really started to speak and didn’t play the nice girl anymore) not only that but, this was a love album and I related to it in so many ways. I was finally out of that 6 year relationship, and had a bit of a “reputation” (not really, but some bridges were burned and people talk a lot about things they no nothing about when you end something that lasted 6 years) and I had met someone new. I related to every love song on this album so much and it meant so much because, like Taylor, after all the bullshit that happened, finding the right person is everything. She had never been more relatable. I feel like her pop music finally grew up enough for me. She was doing pop in a new way and I was here for it.

Fearless: this one has stood the test of time. A classic. No skip album. Country, but her first intro to pop crossover with love story, but unlike a lot of her early pop hits, love story didn’t get old and overplayed for me. It’s not like my favorite song now, but when it blew up, I was about it. Beautiful writing on this whole album. It was the first album I bought. The physical cd. It came out when I was just learning to drive. Driving on my own and blasting this album singing at the top of my lungs along with it with no one to tell me to turn it down or change the song solidified the love story I had with fearless. Blasting you’re not sorry over and over again, (a top 5 song of all time) it made me want to learn to play piano (I didn’t). White horse playing on grays anatomy (my fave show at the time). Listening to fifteen at age 16 for the first time thinking, yes this is so true and I’m so much older and wiser now 🤣 . I was a colbie caillat fan before I knew who Taylor was. Hey Stephen was cute AF. Wished that I had the courage to say things like that to my crushes. Forever and always after my first breakup. It just hit so hard. I can always go back to this album, and have, over the years. My first tswift concert with my only other friend that liked her. It was before any of the drama that came out in the news about her. It’s when She started to blow up in popularity, I’d start to religiously follow things she was doing, interviews, videos on tour, and fell in love with her personality. This girl was talented and hilarious and pretty and smart. I wanted to be her so bad.

Folklore: although it’s still new and fresh, I really think it’s the best yet. For me it’s Taylor swift come full circle. It has the writing, some of her best lyrics yet. It has the age and wisdom that we have watched her gracefully acquire over the years. It’s not pop but it still has the catchy tunes that get stuck in your head, but in a quieter, simpler way. It takes loads more talent to get these songs on the charts than it did with her tried and true formula that she has used in the past for a pop song. She perfected that art, but this is a new level now. It’s not trying too hard, it’s honest. It’s still about love and how far she (and I 😭) have come in that journey. Yet it still has the heartbreak, teenage angst that only she can describe so beautifully. Cardigan might be best of all time. Betty takes me back to something on fearless. Mirror ball and August are light, airy, upbeat and just unique. TLGAD is her storytelling at its finest, yet also a quick fuck you to those who think she’s “ruined” anything. She had a marvelous time. It’s also that personal level, we’ve seen the photos of her and all her friends at this house and it just makes you feel like you’ve been there or something. Exile takes me back to red and I love this duet so much. Invisible string is so.well.written. The concept, so beautiful. The story of her and joe. Details we’ve never heard before. The lakes really ties it all together for me. It’s everything. We’re all isolated right now, but this song speaks to me so much. I’m not a big social media person, I like the simple things in life. I like to read, to write, my circle of friends is dwindling as we all get older and that’s ok because I have the love of my life and that’s all I need. It also speaks to how isolated I feel as a t swift fan, not that there is any shortage of swifties out there, but all the people I am close with are not fans of hers. And that’s fine, we have different tastes in music, whatever. But to me the best thing about Taylor has always been her writing, her poetry. I like the sad sappy songs, I want the auroras and sad prose (I also love the concept of not moving for years) this song has it all, even another subtle fuck you to her critics again. Who are you to tell her what her words are worth? They are better than any other artists’ out there. So many other dumb ass musicians out there that don’t even write any of their music who want to say Taylor isn’t “that great”. To me her words are everything. Folklore is everything. And it’s all hers! That’s huge. I feel like with her owning more of her shit now she can also be free to do whatever the fuck she wants. There’s no pressure for a tour on this album, (fucking covid 🙄) which may have influenced how she wrote it..no fancy dance numbers needed here. Without a big record label down her throat too she may have had more freedom, maybe to not have a hit single (although she still does) there’s no super mainstream straight pop BOP like every other album has had. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for her and her music. Oh and you want to talk about Grammys? GIVE IT TO FOLKLORE.

[goofygoldengirl]

Ok Everyone I’m On A Roll Today

I’m gonna give you a proper explanation as to why we’ll never get a Led Zeppelin movie.

Buckle up cause this is gonna get long. 

We, as classic rock fans live in an age of reminiscence. We take out our records, cds, mp3s and sit back, relax, and think of the glory days that we’ve never experienced if we’re under the age of 50. Even though we’re decently mainstream, The Queen movie Bohemian Rhapsody took interest in classic rock to new heights. It was critically acclaimed, Rami Malek won an oscar, and fans of other bands of the 60s-80s stirred with anticipation for the day they would get their band in the limelight. A fan, like myself, and many others, knowing that 2019 marks the 50th anniversary of Led Zeppelin’s (also referred here as LZ) creation (although they officially got together in 1968) perhaps are wondering if they are going to get a surprise biopic announcement in the near future.

However, I have come to crush everybody’s dreams. The answer is never as long as the remaining band members are still alive. Now before y’all get out your pitchforks, let’s focus our attention to the most important member of this debate: guitarist James Patrick Page, also known as Jimmy Page, Pagey, and Jimmurs back in the deviantart LZ community in 2010.

Although Led Zeppelin arose from the planning and careful selection of the higher ups at Atlantic Records (mostly manager Peter Grant although Jimmy was the one who went out to find members) Led Zeppelin, is Jimmy Page’s masterpiece, his opus magnum, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought of his band to be like one of his children, perhaps his favorite. Understandably, he was devastated when the band broke up after drummer John Bonham’s death from alcohol poisoning, and everybody knows he wants the band to be back together in some shape or form. This of course sparked a feud with singer Robert Plant, who also understandably was doing well in his solo career and wanted to move on. Depending on who you talk to, it’s never really been officially resolved despite the 2007 concert and Robert’s final declaration that he will never do anything Led Zeppelin related ever again, Jimmy has focused on other matters such as remixing LZ albums and releasing concert dvds. In addition to that, there are several other matters worth pointing out. In the past, and even to this day, it was extremely difficult to get ahold of LZ songs to use in tv and movie soundtracks because Jimmy, unofficially “in charge” of LZ music distribution is overprotective of how his music is used (probably stemming from LZ’s hatred of concert bootleggers but that’s a different story). We also have a long history of lawsuits that accuse LZ of plagiarism and ripoffs stemming from the 70s, that have taken a hit to LZ’s musical reputation. Looking at Jimmy’s defensive stance over the band’s music and public image, we segway to our next question.

Can a Led Zeppelin movie give an authentic and enjoyable experience for audiences?

We know from the nearly ten year saga to create a Queen movie that there was a lot of contention between the remaining band members and directors over portrayal of the members’ personal lives within Queen, and Queen pushing for a more family friendly image. In the end, the movie earned a PG 13 rating, an acceptable negotiation for both parties, and a good rating to draw in an audience. Assuming that using this model will bring in the most amount of money and recognition for future biopic movies, we shall apply it to the band Led Zeppelin.

A PG 13 rated Led Zeppelin movie would be impossible to do. No offense to Queen (they’re my second favorite band behind Zep so I’m allowed to say this) but they are tame compared to the antics that Led Zeppelin got up to back in their heyday. We’re talking about what you imagine when you think of the rock n roll lifestyle. Loud music, jet setting, partying all night, sex, drugs, trashing hotel rooms, groupies, more drugs, more sex, getting trashed at the club, pump it up baby a whole hecka lotta YOW times10! Led Zeppelin were a bunch of party animal freaks (Bassist John Paul Jones is debatable but there was New Orleans)and well you could attempt to focus directly on the music, but a lot of the music in the later years ties into that crazy rock n roll lifestyle (Sick Again from Physical Graffiti and For Your Life from Presence) and Jimmy Page’s descent into heroin addiction and John Bonham’s gradual and tragic deterioration from years of alcohol abuse had a profound affect on how the band members got along during the In Through The Outdoor sessions and is the reason why it still has a very mixed reception and is ranked low on favorite LZ albums.

A rated R movie could work, you may say. I mean look at the Doors movie. Yeah but even though The Doors got trippy and Jim Morrison was a character man, a Led Zeppelin rated R movie would be a very hard rated R. Again, this goes back to all the tour commotion, where especially in the early years, a lot of sordid stuff happened. And I know you’re thinking, I can live watching a couple of sex scenes. Oh sweet summer child who has not gone through the threshold of transitioning from a Led Zeppelin fan who strictly listens to their music to searching out their history, inspiration, stories from the countless biographies out there, we are talking about some fucked up stuff that I am not gonna even talk about in this post for fear of invoking the wrath of the tumblr flag gods, and that the more sensitive leaning people might consider to be NC17 stuff. And there is a difference between detailing this information in a niche book that only diehard fans will pick up, and putting it in a movie intended for everybody and no shit sherlock you will get controversy. 

And you may ask, who are the subjects of such controversial tales? Basically everybody, although as we said JPJ falls into bassists are usually boring category, Robert Plant had a pretty good amount of moments because no shit he was hot back then and who wouldn’t go wild over him. And our main offenders of depravity and strife? John Bonham, Jimmy Page, and special mention to tour manager (and subject of much controversy within the Led Zeppelin fandom itself) Richard Cole. And if based on director’s tendencies to capture the authentic even if it involves shock content, the depictions of these three men will garner a lot of attention. While John Bonham is dead and cannot speak for himself, the other two can. Based on Richard Cole’s tell all contributions to the classic 1980s publication that detailed LZ’s rise and fall, Hammer of The Gods, he’ll probably just pop up out of the woodworks and bask in the next 15 minutes of fame. But Jimmy? James Patrick I will do anything to keep Led Zeppelin’s reputation in a good light Page? Oh he’ll have a field day alright. And it’s not just bracing ourselves for the inevitable telling directors what they can and cannot put in, it’s also opening the huge, sticky, labeled with a giant TRIGGER WARNING can of worms what exactly Jimmy was doing that would be so controversial both then and now. Now, I know that everyone in the Led Zeppelin fandom knows what I’m about to say, probably some in the classic rock fandom in general who knows things here and there, too, but this is for everybody who doesn’t know. Jimmy Page in the 1970s dated teenage girls. And to clarify, I’m not talking about that gray line that people debate about of 18 technically signaling adult years, yet is still a vulnerable age, I’m talking about girls, minors, who were14-16 when he was nearly or in his 30s. And the relationship that is the most documented (Lori Maddox for the LZ fans reading) oh my god, it is just messed up. Like basically stalked and kidnapped her so they could meet, and in the relationship locked her up in hotel rooms while he was in concerts messed up. You might say it was the 70s, they just turned a blind eye well honey it’s 2019, and a topic as dicey as a grown ass man going after children is not gonna be ignored in this day and age where people are starting to pay more attention to issues like these. I know that if a director decides to devote a segment of that movie to that part of Jimmy’s past (and present if you think about him going out with 20 something year old women when he’s in his 70s) it will basically destroy his own reputation. Which is very, very much intertwined with Led Zeppelin’s. So if he takes a hit, LZ does too, and he cannot afford to let that happen. And if this means having to decline an offer for a biopic in order to preserve a sliver of integrity that is just dangling by a thread as old news becomes common knowledge, so be it. 

Oh yeah the christians will probably get wound up again about LZ being satanic or some shit due to Alestier Crowley and the whole playing Stairway to Heaven backwards thing but hey they’re irrelevant to this discussion

So the TLDR: We’re never getting a Led Zeppelin movie. Reputation is everything to Jimmy Page and a movie that goes into some hardcore detail about band “shenanigans” will serve us a whopping discourse for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, that will get the movie, and the band slammed hard. 

[lanonima]

anyway, I’ve been thinking about some stuff. under a cut because it’s really long and rambling, no real point just musings about my identity and relationship with media

I’ve talked before about my relationship with the word queer (and other identity words) but not really my relationship with media and I think that’s also something that is strongly affected not only by who I am but also by when I grew up

like, when I was a young queer kid, since I knew very early on, there was no lesbian media that wasn’t porn written by men for men. Literally what you got was the subtitled Sailor Moon VHS tapes from Blockbuster if you were lucky

when I was in high school the most famous yuri was Strawberry Panic which is horrible and predatory and I hate it, and most lesbian media back then was like that when it existed at all - very clearly not being produced for actual lesbian readers in the same way yaoi is not produced for gay readers

however the fact that gay characters were (and are) usually written by women -  even though it’s pretty bad rep by today’s standards and even modern BL is definitely not representative of actual gay relationships - means that as a queer woman I’ve always ended up relating a lot more to gay, male characters written by women, and so I’ve always had a positive opinion of BL as a genre - it really did a lot for me when I was young and I have no problem with today’s teens still being into it

(although to be fair I tend to relate to characters with an intersection of depression and homosexuality rather than just gay characters but that’s a different essay for a different day)

I know that BL is a pretty controversial topic nowadays

and yes, these days there is a lot more mainstream media, and a lot more fandom media which can cater to whatever. “queer media” as opposed to BL/GL. but while I primarily write about lesbians myself, making the books I would have wanted to read, I’m really not drawn to read or watch queer media produced in the west. fandom is one thing - though I really don’t consume very much fanfic at all - but when it comes to mainstream media, the things being produced with gay and lesbian characters really don’t appeal to me. I’m kind of picky, I know, so I have to be interested in the thing by itself already, I won’t watch something just because it’s gay. I’m glad people are enjoying these shows and books and that the quality and quantity is increasing, but I can’t get into the vast majority of them.

obviously I’ve gotten really into danmei and baihe recently. other than the fact that xianxia is amazing and gives me a lot I didn’t know I wanted in fantasy, they also have a different approach to romance and intimacy. now of course there are cultural differences and issues of censorship neither of which I’m qualified to talk about since I’m a white American BUT relationships in the Chinese media I’ve consumed (queer or straight) tend to be a lot less overwhelming and a lot less focused on sex as the end goal and most of the intimate moments are very soft and domestic. and I think that I’m really drawn to this kind of writing about relationships as an asexual person who often has a complicated relationship with love and sex, I can understand it a lot more. I’m finally reading romances that really, really appeal to me and make sense to me and the fact that so many webnovels are queer and in a genre I want to read is a bonus! I’m having a good time.

anyway.

being part of fandom or any genre which can be classified as BL/GL brings its own issues with it and I know there’s always back and forth and back and forth but I mean. which side should I be on? how am I expected to relate to media? as a white American, as a lesbian, as a woman, as an asexual, as someone with mental illness? it’s ridiculous right? all of those needs are different and can’t necessarily be addressed by the same media or even the same style of media

There are some things which are undeniably true:

-it’s very dangerous to be a woman in this world and fandom/self-published media is often the only safe space that girls have to explore their sexuality

-however it isn’t fair to say girls only fetishize gay relationships because that’s all they write when in fact the overwhelming majority of good characters in media are male, the overwhelming majority of good chemistry is between male characters. the prevalence of m/m fic is statistically accurate to the ratio of m:f characters

-it’s also true that female characters are harder to write about because before you can even start you have to strip them of all the inherent sexism and bad writing and completely build up from nothing, whereas with male characters you can just start (and I would say that even in original media young women also tend to write about men because we’re societally conditioned to think men are better and more interesting - most of my characters were male until I got into college at which point I started writing about women almost exclusively, but in order to do that I had to deal with a LOT of internalized garbage. it was not a given but a conscious choice and process to get here)

-that being said, it’s also complicated as a queer person, or any marginalized person because we must always deal with the fact that yes, some people are fetishizing us and yes, the vast majority of media “about” us is not really about us. It’s not written by us or for us or telling stories we want to see, it’s usually titillation for someone else

-there’s always going to be a lot of misinformation in media, because publishers and producers care more about money and will choose to cater to white, straight men and women, and in fandom because a lot of content is being produced by teenagers or just people that are not familiar with what they’re writing about

-there are plenty of queer people in fandom, but they’re always going to be outnumbered and even if they aren’t, bad institutional education and limited access to good educational resources will always mean that most queer fic isn’t going to be particularly accurate. there’s fewer queer people in mainstream media because people straight-up don’t care about us (not that I have to say that, we all know) and so for that and the previous reason, mainstream queer media is also not likely to be that accurate

now things are slowly beginning to meander in a positive direction but it’s going to be a long time, and when everyone is relying on fandom to find what they want there will inevitably be clashes in what people like, want, and need. unfortunately there are no easy answers. identity and media is always going to be complicated, identity and fandom will always be complicated

I just wish that people would be willing to step back so we could all have the space we need to explore the things we want to explore, that’s what fandom is there for, after all. but I know asking people to be nice and stay in their own lane on the internet is often a lost cause

in any case, I’m going to keep writing what I want to write and reading what I want to read and hoping that eventually American society and media will catch up with the kinds of things I’d like to consume...but I’m not really holding my breath, you know?

[lux-astrorum]

so i’ve seen this “bts is racist (most specifically antiblack)” post going around and i...wanted to say some words

first of all, they (and their company, who obviously play a hand in their product and their image) have made a lot of mistakes. especially early on in their careers. they have appropriated black culture. they have said inappropriate/insensitive things. i’m white, and so i can’t relate to how black people may have been hurt by their past words/actions, but as a woman, i have to come to come to terms with the fact that they’ve said a lot of misogynistic things as well and openly joked about engaging in behaviors i don’t support (cough cough watching porn cough cough). 

secondly, i’m sorry on behalf of our fandom that so many people treat bts as literal perfect angels who can do no wrong. whatever bts themselves have done/said may hurt, but i’m sure it also hurts even more when most of their massive following literally blindly idolizes them and cannot acknowledge their flaws. celebrities are humans too, and no matter how “perfect” they may try to keep their image, they make mistakes like any of us, yet so few fans are willing to see that.

that said, i did want to say a few things. as someone who has lived and taught in Korea for over a year know, I’m here to tell you: this country as a whole sucks ASS at international awareness, supporting minorities, and general social issues education. bear in mind, even in Seoul, it’s mostly a homogeneous society, at least ethnically. even so, the sensitivity to social, particularly multicultural, issues is pretty abysmal. for example:

-i don’t even own a tv but i went on a trip here and we had a tv in the room we were staying at and were just flipping through channels and saw blackface on a variety or comedy show. this is the year 2019

-the south korean president himself has greeted foreign rulers & dignitaries in the wrong language on his recent Asian tour (more of a gaffe than anything but still demonstrates that this unawareness and lack of care about other cultures penetrates to a very high level in politics and society)

-hey remember when Blackpink took some heat for imitating tribal yells in “Boombayah” a few years back? well apparently koreans still don’t have an issue with that bc literally my first day of teaching last year the 3rd grade teacher puts on a video of the song “10 little Indians” and had the kids imitate tribal yells as part of the song. i didn’t even know how to respond

so there’s a few takeaways from this: most importantly, bts themselves were likely not educated, perhaps at all, on any of these issues growing up. i’d hazard a guess that seoul does a slightly better job than anywhere else in the country since it has the most representation of the international community, but even seoul is awful and NONE of the bts members grew up here. 

which brings me to my second point: as far as my memory and understanding goes (i’ve only been involved in the fandom since 2016, i don’t know every single thing there is to know about bts, and i didn’t check all of the specific things the op of that post mentioned) most of the relevant insensitive words/actions occurred earlier in their careers. bear in mind that in 2013 when they debuted, most of the members were still teenagers - jin, born in dec 1992, would have been the oldest at 20. all i know is before i was 20 i still held a lot of really trashy religious/social/political views too and wouldn’t have hesitated back then to say a lot of things that I now realize could be insensitive at best and hurtful at worst. but i’ve since stepped back, listened to others, educated myself a bit better, and i’m always trying to work toward being better & understanding others more.

which brings me to my final point: i’ve been in the fandom long enough now to see bts gradually enter the mainstream entertainment/fame scene, and even since then i’ve noticed they’ve made efforts to be more culturally aware and sensitive. the most poignant example that comes to mind now is when they first performed at the BBMAs in 2018, they changed all the lyrics to “Fake Love” that included 내가 (”nae-ga,” I) and 네가 (”ni-ga,” you), just to avoid any possible misunderstandings that might arise from a primarily non-Korean-speaking audience. (I mentioned before that as a woman I have to deal with the fact that bts once released songs like “War of Hormone,” the lyrics of which sadly perpetuate misogyny and rape culture - BUT, bts would later go on to release “21st Century Girl,” the entire “Love Yourself” series, and “Boy With Luv,” titles that show us a developed, thoughtful, mature, educated view on women’s inherent dignity/value and true love.) i’m just word vomiting onto this post so i’m not going to include a general list of evidence, but it does seem like, especially once bts started getting exposed to the international community and traveling and collaborating frequently outside of korea, they have made a lot of conscious effort to grow, mature, educate themselves, and be more careful about their words, actions, and overall message.

is bts perfect now? no. some of you may recall recently (ok maybe not recently....but like, within the last year) some controversy over jimin wearing a  korean streetwear shirt that had Korea’s independence day printed on it with an image of an atomic bomb explosion. yeah, maybe not his most shining moment as a person. (but AGAIN, i can vouch that most koreans wouldn’t have a problem with that at all, in fact the shirt sold out shortly after the controversy arose, bc lots of koreans in my experience are constantly looking for ways to give the middle finger to japan. but i digress). the POINT is, no member of bts ever was, is, or will be perfect or completely pure and unproblematic. that’s just life. but i think their image and music have come a long way in trying to promote something positive, and that’s something to be acknowledged. 

to conclude:

1) i do not know bts personally as people. i am aware that idols qua idols are first and foremost a carefully constructed image designed to make money. that said, my impression of bts is that their words, actions, and product were sometimes insensitive, and as a result hurtful, more frequently early on due mainly to a lack of proper education and awareness (same as korea in general), as well as the fact that they were still young and immature, and of course flawed human beings. however, my impression is also that they’ve never intentionally tried to be malicious or hurt anyone, and that they’ve made sincere efforts to educate themselves and do better going forward.

2) bts having said/done racist, misogynistic, etc, etc things IS a problem. but it’s not a bts problem, it’s a nationwide korean society and education problem. and the fact that so many bts/kpop fans refuse to see this problem makes it a WORLDWIDE problem. we can all do better to be more sensitive to others and be more careful with our words/actions, and we can all do better about not blindly elevating people as though they’re perfect and trying to point-blank defend everything they do even if it’s obviously wrong.

3) people are people. we make mistakes. we do/say hurtful things. sometimes it’s innocent ignorance, sometimes it’s willful ignorance, and sometimes it’s just plain malicious. those things do hurt, but please give people room to learn & grow after their mistakes. 

[sunnysynthsunshine]

6th Comedy Monologue

“So folks, that whole Brexit rubbish is finally over isn’t it?”

“I know, some of us could see it coming and Teresa May looks like the spitting image

of the stepmother from Cinderella

how come nobody has noticed that yet?

we all have politicians we don’t like don’t we?

at times like this, I have to remind myself Teresa May is a very well liked woman

but then I remember back in the day Margaret Thatcher was also a very well liked woman

don’t you think she and Teresa may are quite similar?

well this is how she’d treat a political problem

*attempts impersonation*

“what’s that? ok men I did you to do this and then this and then this and this”

whereas Teresa may would handle the situation like…

*attempts impersonation*

what’s this? oh leave it for a few months

but the main thing is they both hate poor people so who cares what they think

I actually sort of understand why people like Jeremy Corbyn but I had written that previous gag back in late June of last year, speaking of outdated gags

Pirates were the communists and socialists of the 17th century

they wanted money, disagreed with colonialism and didn’t care what the government thought of them

like with communists they were accepting and inclusive but they wanted gold

the pirates accepted many on their ship they allowed homosexuality, they allowed women in strong roles  there were great times had on the high seas

even with the loot, they got they’d share it evenly what other power was involved with being inclusive with most things except money Oh Yeah! the communists

Yes, Yes we’ll handle it we’ll accept you but give us all your money

communism is a good concept but in the end, people get greedy for the money

like with pirates

we’ll accept you matey but give us some gold

however they didn’t agree about the government, they had their own independent pirate crews and disagreed with colonialism and capitalism

kind of like some of us, I think

we criticize politics, we like to party and we accept most people except colonialists …and capitalists...

Oh well, at least there’s been good music with Marina and the diamonds, Ariana Grande and the 1975

We, humans, love music

which makes me think about bands related to Homosapians

in the 60s we had the Monkees good band good name

and now we have Arctic Monkeys, Gorillaz, Rang a Tang and Apes

what about the lesser known homosapian types

Chimpanzees and Baboons

if music existed in Planet of the Apes

the Kate Bush hit Babooshka would be about a

monkey looking for love after getting his heart broken seeing his wife cheat on him with an older mandrill

only to fall in love again with who he’d call his baboonska

Animals are interesting creatures whether they are made of glass, made of 1960s haircuts or made of the first songs of a math rock band

Another good thing about music and animals is that Roger Taylor is going to help us save the bees

Thinking bee! Thinking queen! thinking bee! Thinking queen!

Speaking of which there’s been a whole glam rock/synthpop revival going on

And I love that

although as a kid I watched media from all sorts of different decades

While they watched Jersey Shore and Love Island I was watching Disney and CBBC sitcoms mixed with Japanese cartoons and shows from years before like Jem and the holograms, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the original my little pony series.

I would also watch funnybones, the original noody series from a VHS I “borrowed” from my neighbours, as well as the Muppet show and some classic cinema.

I think it’s amazing that this revival is happening it’s like the 60s,70s,80s,90s and early 2000s are all going on at the same time.

Revolutionary anarchic protests, Androgynous rockers, Neon colours, post-punk indie shows, peculiar fashion trends and reality shows as well as the cybernetic future beyond

But I’m also cold and angry about how this is happening because on the other hand, there are things carried over from previous decades that shouldn’t still be around...fascists in positions of power, nonces in the entertainment industry, Threat of a nuclear war, low economy, Jamie Oliver, Piers Morgan, Death, Pollution,Misogyny,Misandry,Sexism,Racism and White Supremacy

I could list more, but I can’t think at the moment I’m focusing on my work while morons on Twitter and Tumblr are yabbering on about vegan sausage rolls.

I’ve never tried Greggs before but I’m sure the vegans and vegetarians are happy that a mainstream chain like Greggs has made a product catered specifically for them, whereas before if you asked for a “vegan option” at a restaurant the waiter would scratch their neck.

However not all restaurants are like this,having to work overtime dealing with angry parents,screaming children and the odd nazi at Mcdonalds is not an easy task,yet so many waiters and workers across the world are able to somehow keep those businesses afloat,you guys, girls and comrades don’t get enough credit,you should be paid more,no wonder so many mainstream restaurants are having strikes or running out of food and people are either going to more independently funded places or ordering online to get their daily dose of fast fried convenience.

and while I would be interested in trying a vegetarian diet,It would be hard for me to give up eating chicken that quickly but I don’t really eat meat that often,and before you say anything as long as cannibals don’t use their choice of food in a dangerous way they’re ok with me, it’s no different to when our prehistoric ancestors had to hunt to find food in order to survive,some people still have to do that,it’s sad...it really is,while Christianity isn’t something I believe in anymore, it did say in the bible that Jesus shared his bread and food with his people,and I think some of us should start doing that,and if you already do whether it’s a snack you have or leaving out leftover food from your side takeaway business, that’s brilliant your making more people happy and your allowing more people to enjoy food and to have access to that basic human necessity that we all should be able to have to access to.

Sharing is another primary school lesson it feels like half of humanity has forgotten about outside of basic decency and kindness, but I’m probably not the one to talk about that since I was called “Rude” for most of my life.

there’s a big difference between telling someone they’re a plonker and making someone more aware of how they can improve themselves as a person.

Most of us all have flaws, most of us have had toxic moments,

we’ve all at times had moments where we’ve said something wrong that we didn’t mean,

or times where our cowardliness has accidentally caused misunderstandings and drama

or times where we didn’t intend to sound hurtful but that’s how it came across, or times where we’ve blindly followed toxic people, imitating their actions without meaning to or just generally times where we’ve been ignorant little eijjits.

Even people some would say were flawless had flaws or problematic aspects about them

David Bowie wasn’t too nice to his wife Angie in later years, Graham Lineman and Robert Webb are transphobic, Rowan Atkinson supports Boris Johnson’s “so-called” jokes and Ricky Gervais doesn’t like hearing people with different opinions than him.

Overthinking however can exaggerate this, overthinking can take that one time you were a bit rude as a child and that problematic “fandom” phase you had as a preteen and make you feel like your worst person in the world.

Your not, but most of us have had moments,there’s also the “not like other girls/boys phase” sometimes it’s just a light-hearted comparison drawing or blog post taken out of context other times it’s the grown-up equivalent of saying “I like this thing over your other thing that means I’m better than you”

Considering my at times cold thoughts it’s weird that I’m the person of all people telling you this

It’s perfectly ok to be prideful and narcissistic just don’t be so arrogant that you forget about your morals and the people that you're close to, but if at times because of mental health you question your levels of empathy, sympathy and compassion that’s ok too, your voices deserve to be heard, and there is help available you can find it through helplines, organizations or even your own comrades.

Outside of all the twits in this horrid fishbowl of a world, there are also millions of very kind nice people, I don’t know where I’d be now without my comrades

The offline pals who are like my sunshine because they brighten up my day,the old secondary school friends that made me feel less alone,the online people who I can vent to, converse with and joke with,the bloggers from years ago that I still sometimes keep in touch with and the creators who through their work in Media, Theatre and the Arts were able to encourage me to keep going, keep working, keep creating.

I think your all lovely and beautiful and creative human beings, no matter what identity you are, what music genre you listen to or what topping you prefer on your pizza

I will most likely adore you and if I haven’t it’s probably because I haven’t met you yet

You are one biscuit of cells, on this fishbowl planet, your mind is a land of wonder and your body is the garden surrounding it, take care of yourself like how you take care of your garden, your pets or the fictional characters you write about.

Your future might not be the future you expect, but it’s one you’ll enjoy.

if you are doing something you love which harms nobody, be as happy and passionate about it as you like

you are a person who deserves the world

Don’t push yourself too hard, if you know you’re doing a good job keep at it, don’t stress yourself too hard, but remember not to procrastinate, your mental health is important, some people might not understand all of the issues you’re going through, but you can make it out alive.

You're, not a number or statistic you're a person, your a beautiful, Kind, incredible, wise person

spread some love and don’t forget what the late Freddie Mercury said,

Keep yourself Alive!

[daily5sosupdate]

The Australian pop-rock quartet's third album is finally here; we toast it with a salute to the hits and fan favorites.

One of the best things about music is how the same band can be loved in so many ways by so many people. How cool is it that two fans can be connected by a shared love for a band, and yet have completely unique views on which songs or albums are their best work? Given the same material, you can form the same bond but in a new way.

I discovered 5 Seconds of Summer back in 2013 on the Take Me Home tour when my friend and I had front row tickets to see One Direction, and even though Harry Styles literally winked at me -- the closest thing I’ve ever had to a spiritual experience -- I left talking about four dorky Australians that stole my heart.

I appreciate each of their releases for different reasons, but I’ll always feel the strongest emotional connection to the songs I heard at those first shows. Without them, I might not have been paying attention to hear the increasingly impressive tunes that were to follow. “Youngblood,” the second single and title track from their brand new album, ranks very high on my list. “Lost Boy” deserves to be heard again live, and whoever decided they should cover “Teenage Dream” all throughout 2014 deserves a raise. With all of this in mind, I attempted to choose my top 10 favorite 5SOS songs and trust me… it’s harder than it looks.

10. “End Up Here” [5 Seconds of Summer, 2014]

Sometimes you just need a good power pop song in your life, and “End Up Here” is definitely that song. Of course it's pure catharsis when Bon Jovi sings about living on a prayer, but it’s truly incredible how four Australian kids singing about loving "the song about living on a prayer" gives the same reaction. We put so much pressure on bands to always be creating music that means something deep, but sometimes you just that blissful rush of fandom. Play this song on summer road trips and let it soundtrack the ride away.

9. "Beside You" [Somewhere New EP, 2012]

If you really want to experience this track, find a live acoustic version. You don’t get the full effect of the group’s harmonies unless you’re hearing it in its raw form, which reminds you how rare it is to find a non-boyband band where each of the members is equally talented vocally. “Beside You” was released on both the Somewhere New EP and their self-titled debut album, but I’ll never hear it enough for my heart to not break upon hearing, “My heart wants to come home…”

8. "Long Way Home" [5 Seconds of Summer, 2014]

I have a soft spot for any song that belongs in the end credits of a typical teen movie. “Long Way Home” fits the “this summer is the last time we’ll all be in the same place, so let’s make the most of it” vibe perfectly, without being cheesy. The acoustic guitar is just prominent enough to give the song a nostalgic feel, but it still feels fresh and fun. Roll the credits.

7. “She Looks So Perfect” [5 Seconds of Summer, 2014]

Were you really a 5SOS fan in 2014 if you didn’t have at least one family member ask about the band that sings about American Apparel underwear? This song kicked off the band’s meteoric rise from being known within internet circles to heavy rotation on top 40 radio and 20 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100. It also helped bring pop-punk back to the mainstream, allowing 5SOS to promote other acts on a scale that otherwise may not have been possible. This song deserves a place on this list not just for the moment in time it represents, but because it has one of 21st century rock's best choruses.

6. “Outer Space/Carry On” [Sounds Good Feels Good, 2015]

There aren’t enough words to accurately sum up this song. Each half is a work of art all its own, coming together to close out the band's sophomore album on a hopeful note. The “Outer Space” half is heartbreaking, painting a picture of a relationship that can’t work unless it’s away from the struggles of life on earth. For a second in the bridge, you start to think their love can survive because they’re in outer space, or a place all their own where nothing else can affect them. But then those last few lines come around and kick you when you’re down. “Love me like you did, I’ll give you anything.” My heart hurts and we’re not even done yet.

“Carry On” comes in and ends things on a better note, reflecting on how time will pass and things will get better. It kind of feels like a premonition for their new album, getting to a place where they can create what they want and regain some energy after years of non-stop touring.

5. “Disconnected” [She Looks So Perfect EP, 2014]

An early favorite, “Disconnected” reminds us of the power in being with people without the distraction of technology. But in a lovely twist, it doesn’t do it in a condescending way that belittles those that genuinely enjoy social media. This song was written with help from Alex Gaskarth of All Time Low, which explains why this song felt so familiar from first listen to many pop-punk fans. When these bands grow up and leave their deadbeat towns, it's on them to assist them to pass the torch to the next generation.

4. “Girls Talk Boys” [Ghostbusters official soundtrack, 2016]

Reviews for the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot were mixed, but feedback on “Girls Talk Boys” was positive across the board. This track was the tipping point where the band started gravitating away from pop-punk and towards their new, 2018-ready pop sound. Though leagues away from their early racket, you can still feel the same energy shining through; it’s genuine growth, not a forced directional shift. Whether you prefer their rambunctious roots or their new, streamlined sound, let’s celebrate the one track between album cycles that opened the floodgates for a new era of 5SOS.

3. “Try Hard”  [5 Seconds of Summer, 2014]

I will spend my life championing this song and advocating for it to rejoin the band's setlist, despite reminders that they haven’t played it in four years. “Try Hard” is a true masterpiece, giving us an alternate version of the story told in Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” 16 years ago. The story of two people who were just so different and then yadda yadda yadda, he ended up on stage with her in the crowd at his show. When I hear Luke referencing the girl in the front row, it takes me back to 2009, when I fully believed a Jonas brother would see me at their world tour and whisk me away to a new life where I’d be serenaded with “Hello Beautiful” every morning.

2. “Youngblood” [Youngblood, 2017]

The band’s newest era  kicked off with “Want You Back”, which was only a taste of what was to follow. “Youngblood” takes us into a whole new age of 5SOS, less focused on being pop punk and more focused on going wherever the music takes them. Genre is much less defined in 2018; everything is a streaming era amalgamation of so many influences and ideas. This song is the perfect example of what can happen when you jump out of the box you put yourself inside of and see what’s happening outside -- in this case, swaggering tight-grooved pop with EDM inflections.

1. “Jet Black Heart” [Sounds Good Feels Good, 2015]

I don’t want to sound dramatic, but I would literally die for “Jet Black Heart,” a expert-level emo-pop power ballad for anyone still holding on to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge-level angst. Michael takes center stage and shines on lead vocals, giving the track the storm cloud-romantic edge it needed to reach its full potential. If you ever find yourself trying to introduce 5SOS to a skeptical audience, this might be the song to break through the tough exterior to the hurricane underneath it.

[burningartwork]

Top 10 favorite characters Meme

The Rules:

Choose from 10 different fandoms & any medium (anime, manga, novels, movies, etc, Whatever you like) and tag 10 people.

(Did this in 2016 and I thought I’d share. The list has for the most part remained the same. Honorary #11 is probably Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney. <3)

10. Sokka – Avatar the Last Airbender / Bolin - The Legend of Kora Starting off this list, I guess I'm going with a pair so I'm.... cheating? It was sort of impossible to chose between these 2 since they're both my favorites of their individual series/arcs(?) but part of the sameish fandom  and do share some similar traits and functions in their group. They're both the funny guys and both have been often under estimated. While Sokka fulfills my need to love a brainy character who is simultaneously hilarious, Bolin does the rest by giving me an adorable, nice-guy character... who is equally funny... you... guys will start to notice a trend with the male characters I like... so... don't be too surprised if the same types pop up. I apologize in advance.

9. Sailor Jupiter aka Makoto Kino - Sailor Moon Out of all the Sailor Scouts, Makoto has always been my favorite! I always saw a bit of myself in her & her dual personality. Both tough and strong but with a gushy girly side to her too. I LOVE that about her and how balanced and natural it is for her nature. She's lovely and passionate and loves deeply even if she is tall and seems intimidating.

8. Zack Fair – Final Fantasy 7 Okay, here's my dopey joker fetish coming though... this will be followed by my "brainy" type right afterwards. lol. Zack Fair is hands down the funniest & most likable FF7 character period. I mean, what else is there to say about this guy? Fun, kinda reckless, skilled, an elite soldier, has that black haired, blue eyed combo I go nuts for and is just so willing to take little Cloud under his wing while winning off his future girlfriend in no time. lol Too charming for me to resist.

7. Donatello - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles And now for the brainy type. XD Donatello has ALWAYS been by favorite turtle and not just cause my favorite color is purple. lol I mean, I just like everything about him from his scientific brain to his choice of weapons. And I always say this to people who don't like Donatello: "If he wasn't around... all the turtles, in every series, in every continuity & medium... would totally be dead." Seriously. Donatello keeps the turtles alive for the most part by being a once in a life time genius. He doesn't get enough credit and need more praise.

6. Zoe Washburne – Firefly ... if I were to say that I had a crush on a fictional girl character, it would be Zoe. She's just... so awesome. Just so cool... like, I can't even describe it.

5. Helga G Pataki – Hey Arnold Helga from Hey Arnold is amazing. She's just so insanely in love with Arnold to the point that the football head is her muse and the light of her life. She's so obsessed that she builds shrines to his name. It's hilarious and amazing. She's a total nutjob and I love it! But she's also very astute, clever, a writer and it's painfully amusing to watch her lock that side away when she's at school to become a bossy bully. But you know... it's been 15 years almost... enough is enough. It's time to tell Arnold how you feel Helga! (and NO, I do not count that Hey Arnold movies as her confession. It was awful and very messy) The Jungle movie will FINALLY be released in 2017. I can't wait!

4. Ariel - The little mermaid Like I could leave her out. Ariel was MY Disney Princess. Fearless, curious, adventurous & a total dreamer wanting to live in the world above! I feel like she was very unjustly attacked by the internet as wanting to live out of the sea for a guy. I'm sure that cave of her treasures took her months if not years to fill and the prince was the icing on that cake combined with adolescent rebellion and persuasion after having all her collection destroyed by her father. She was not even crown princess for heaven's sake! Duh, she'd react impulsively!!! *heaves* Okay, okay. Anyways, Ariel single handedly revived Disney and paved the way for the Modern Princesses so don't say mean things about my girl Ariel!

3. Ron Weasley – Harry Potter (Books) Ron. Yeah, love this red-headed firecracker. I'll be frank, while I do enjoy movie Ron, Rupert Grint needed to have more grit written in role just to match up to book Ron. Book Ron practically acted on instinct for everything. He braved the Spiders for Hermione (it was his choice in the books) he tried to curse Malfoy and punched him in the face several times in the books. While I'm normally into different types of male characters, this red-head won me over quickly in the books even edging out funny brothers Fred and George and I think he deserved to be with Hermione after all he went through... i also have confidence issues so I relate to him a lot.

2. (Future) Trunks Brief - Dragonball Z Oh yes. My original Anime Crush. It took a very special character to dethrone Trunks from the top spot. What to say about him? Sweet, courageous, powerful so very likable. Purple Hair for the win! The Future Trunks version has always been my favorite. Being partially raised by Gohan in his dystopian timeline, his personality became kind and understanding and his quest to save his earth in the future was one of my favorite plots! Also, fell in love with his voice actors (both of them). A perfect paragon character... like the guy blow.

1. Robin/Nightwing/Agent 37 aka Dick Grayson - Batman/Nightwing/Grayson comics by DC Comics So this one was a sinch. I am flat out in love wit this character. If I could take any fictional character and bring them into real life, this guy would top my list every time. Dick Grayson, the original Robin, had been my re-introduction into mainstream comics on the DC side of things and boy what a pull! Fully encompassing everything that I find attractive in a man, (even going so far as to coincidentally having physical traits that I find attractive: dark hair & light eyes with a lean but muscular body) Dick is smart, objectively handsome, funny, playful/boyish & has a pure-hearted urge to do what's right because he believes it's what must be done. He differs greatly from his mentor's (Batman) motivations & methods by not being driven by vengeance but rather by justice & diving into a battle rather than hiding in the shadows. This former circus acrobat turned vigilante crime-fighter, is also a natural leader who people tend to trust easily and is always looking to help others with his (seemingly) constant need to be everyone's big brother. This is sooooo attrative to me and the fact that he is known to have the finest butt in all of DC doesn't hurt either.

I think in the future I might do art of all the characters in this meme... Gosh, I haven’t drawn Trunks since the early 2000s. After watching his ark in DBZ Super I have more motivations to do so...

Anyhoo, hope you got some insight into my tastes... and yes, I know, no Kingdom Hearts, Zelda or MLB characters but those franchises, I like more as a whole. But these particular characters I still like without context. (if the people I tag do this, remember to tag me back so I can read it!) And of course, if you want to do this, do it! Tag me also so I can read! @euclidstriangle @kidokaproject @stekadarr @sixofclovers @liberatedpuppeteer @littleredjay @fluoroidtheauthor @april-lilies @sofiedraws​ @re-defenestratin​  @ofpaintedflowers​ @pixelatedcoeur​ @pinoote-peanut​