#and now i’m rambling about it a lot anyways

[ashegaby]

That was honestly one of my favorite season premieres eveeerrrr on the show. Lets unpack, because I have so much excitement and I need to go to sleep!

THE ROOKIE SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED YET.

It felt so fresh in my opinion. Wopez drama (jealous Wesley was up there with jealous Timmy, Angela “I will cut a bitch” Lopez), Nolan back to having funny dialogue (“Celina is doing great thank you for asking” lol), Penn and Ridley had really interesting back stories, like I actually got emotional over Penn sleeping in his car and Ridley talking about his gf ODing, and the action was actually great and easy to follow. I was kinda expecting at least Jason and Oscar to pop up because they hyped it up so much on the promos but I guess it is a two part premiere so that might be why. I did need more Nyla. Looking back at it, I feel like she had maybe 2 scenes. Also, Aaron was so missed 🥺. But I guess it’s better he transferred than being killed off tbh.

Now, CHENFORDDDDD MY BELOVED HOW I’VE MISSED YOU. They make me so happy, and I’m just so excited to have them back in whatever capacity.

The flirting right off the bat because it’s the only way they know how to be. She’s weary but she’s allowing them to thrive how they do best and, at least how I see it, how they fell in love. I feel like that conversation in the elevator last season let Lucy know he was putting in the work and maybe thats all she needs to at least be in a place where she can be his coworker. Tim knowing EXACTLY what buttons to push to get her to talk to him and make her agree to the bet. Jealousss Tim telling Penn he’s not fit to breathe her same air like sir 😫. And I love grumpy TO Bradford (sue meee) to then see him be so soft to Lucy in that parking lot. The promise of tomorrow is another day, and that he can’t wait. Him looking at her driving away and that gorgeous shot of her looking in the rearview mirror (I know thats about to be everyone’s header lmao). It felt promising and hopeful. I just pray to God they’re not playing us. Uggghhhh I honestly loved it. It didn’t feel rushed, it was organic and it feels like the beginning.

Anyways, I needed to ramble. Can’t wait for next week, that promo looked really good!

[lesbianherald]

hiii I’m curious : what’s your process for creating your stories? like character development, plotting, creating arcs, etc?

thank you for asking !!! i'm going to get way longer and more thorough about this than necessary I feel it in my bones so I'm going to read more this now (I included a few tidbits from my miro board for carry the blade :) )

it's such a mixed bag ! part of this is my adhd lmao, and part of it is because, genuinely, I think each story needs something different.

almost ALWAYS (with one rare exception of a sci/fi fantasy world I've been building for years) I start with character, especially in original work. Because character is everything it's who we're following it's what the audience/readership will grab onto. Usually I have a basic premise and setting already there, but I don't build on it until I get to know who we're dealing with in the story. And then after building up the premise, setting, and plot I do even more character work after.

sometimes.... sometimes I get really impatient to start and start writing half way through the planning process. But anyways.

so I come up with character. do the basics. think about what their deal is. What is the journey they need to have, the lesson they need to learn, what themes and emotions do I want to explore with this character? Why is she important to me? Why will she be important to others?

I also think a lot about relationships

i just wrote a coming of age dramatic comedy for instance, and for that one, I broke up the story into my protagonists relationships. Wrote out the arc/story of each relationship and then combined each of these arcs into the key points that made up the film. Each relationship I wanted to be relevant to her grieving process, as she had just lost her mother. IDK if that makes sense. I wish I could show you but unfortunately I cannot.

for fic its honestly similar, but we already know character, so I usually ask what about this character/these characters am I most excited to explore.

that being said, coming home came to me in the idea for what they'd be like in modern day, and then a single idea for a single scene - their first kiss in the lab. I wrote that first, then asked myself what the context I wanted to give it was. Of course, I changed it a little once I actually got to writing and fleshing out chapter eight.

but this fantasy fic i'm writing is a fun example. I'm building out a lot. I'm building out characters, the world, the themes. - using visuals to help me kind of guide myself.

but because I have adhd and get impatient. I am outlining throughout this process to keep myself entertained. perhaps ideally you'd figure out everything first then outline then write but my brain just doesn't work that way.

in fics, especially, the relationship is so important that I really like to see how the obstacles they face, both due to their own psychology and internal pressures, can reflect the themes, create tension, etc.

but i also like to reflect on side characters too - their motivations and desires. So they don't just become like - flat little reflections of the central love story.

Finally, and this i learned from acting theory mostly - but I love it - is in each scene I like to think of what each character wants, what they are going to do to try and get that, and why they want it. In this fic, wants are something I also look at from a chapter by chapter basis.

side note - and i'm only saying this this far down so hopefully not too may people will see it - but I do have a secret subplot going on throughout the first half of this story that the audience doesn't know about.

in order to make this work I've been mapping out everything going on behind the scenes, and making sure they pair up well with events that people reading will see. it helps me plant little hints and seeds while hopefully not giving too much away (secret subplot in blue, actual story in red)

sorry i know this is such a ramble I just took my meds and had a double shot of expresso so I am buzzing right now lmao! Obviously I'm not the expert and there's not only one way. And also it really is so different for me every time. It's important to think about what the story actually calls for !

[dandelion-system]

Hello!

I’m not sure of the extent of our covert-ness, as a couple of people have said after our diagnosis that they ‘had a feeling something was going on’. But, nobody ever bought it up before our diagnosis, except the occasional snarky comment from my mum that I acted like ‘a 2 year old’ sometimes or I was just ‘not the dandy she knew’

But other than that- im reckoning that we were pretty covert.

I (Raven) haven’t been around as long as some of the others, so I’m gonna go off what they’re telling me. But according to them, when we were physically younger, we would very, very frequently have conversations with, arguments with, debates with ourself using we/us pronouns. As a kid we just told ourself we were using the royal we, and woke did it when we were alone. But we did it. Lots of disagreements over food and clothes and what games to play or shows to watch- and also a lot of ‘mum is gonna kill us’ ‘stop being so dramatic ugh look at us!’ ‘Why am I talking like this?’ ‘I’m just gonna be quiet for a bit now.’

I wasn’t aware back then that these were alters, but it’s the earliest I can say that we have been communicating.

Come our early teen years, and this I remember doing myself because I was a little weirdo as a 13 year old- we got really into spirituality, both the meditation kind and the ghosts kind. I think it was me and Cass, and I was more ghost and Cassie was more meditation. Anyway, I was like, 90% sure we were haunted, and I would talk to the ghosts in my head. I was hanging around some witchy people at the time so I was completely convinced this was normal. Cassie did a lot of visualisation meditation, and she got actual VISUALS! she met up with Sasha most, but saw some others. I don’t know and she’s asleep so I won’t bother her.

Pre system discovery, communication was not exactly easy or something we understood. Post discovery, it’s been a bit better. We’re still covert, except for the people who know our diagnosis.

The thing that started making us think about being a system was actually a psychology class. We were doing a childhood unit and talking about how emotional needs need to be met for regular development, and I started thinking, and I started realising that we actually had a really rough time of it. A bunch of circumstances and bad environments had likely led us to develop a bunch of the ‘irregular’ behaviours we were studying in class. We’ve always been curious, so we started looking at patterns in behaviours.

Eventually, we found that the only things we could see a pattern in was memory loss. This led us to discovering dissociation and how it can cause amnesia.

Fast forward a bit, and we’re looking into things that cause dissociation and consider DID. The host at the time starts noting shifting food preferences, shifting gender, shifting opinions and feeling of what age we were, shifting priorities, likes and dislikes. It’s a while before anything comes of this, but we start noticing patterns. We always feel x, y, z at the same time, for example one of our alters, who we still struggle to distinguish we sorta have a checklist almost? Feels like a boy, but not fully, loves the rain, hates milk, feels 14.

Some alters have been easier to communicate with than others just due to willingness to be seen and heard. Others still try and hide away from front, mask as ‘host’ or pretend to be another alter so they don’t get noticed.

I think I may have rambled a bit so I’m sorry about that. I think overall, what I’m saying is that it’s been a journey to be able to communicate with parts, even after being diagnosed for two years and knowing about the system for three. Some parts still won’t communicate, some that used to now refuse, and some like myself have slowly been able to get more confident in talking. But it’s really fluid. Sometimes it’s like no one is there at all, and sometimes it’s like there’s 5 or 6 of us in front, and it’s so loud then. Sometimes I can see them trying to talk to me, or feel it? But not hear it. Sometimes I can hear it but can’t see it. Sometimes we need to be dissociated to communicate properly. Sometimes it takes a lot of focus to communicate. It’s going to be different for each alter, too. I can almost always communicate with James and the few littles that always hang around, but I’m not so great when it comes to other alters.

I guess it all just comes down to patience. And not being afraid to get it wrong. Anyway, I hope this was helpful and not just a big old ramble haha. I hope you’re okay too!

Any systems who were very Covert before discovery how did you discover/start communicating with your parts?

Anymore resources or personal experience would be helpful to me, whether through this post, or my ask box if you want to remain anon

Note: i do not know any confirmed names or information about them please do not give me resources that only contribute to already established/known parts, thank you.

[landedinpayne]

in case you are in the mood to feel devastated here’s an alternate way of viewing charles’ response to edwin’s confession:

we know that charles kinda puts edwin on a pedestal- yes they are partners but there is a bit of a hierarchy between them. charles just looks up to and admires edwin in so many ways while constantly looking down on and being really hard on himself. he puts on his big happy persona because he thinks that people wouldn’t like him if they actually got to know him.

so when edwin confesses, it’s like a blow to him. he took his charming persona too far and went and tricked the most important person in the world into thinking he was worthy of love. and it’s worse because he does love edwin in that way, which is exactly why he can’t let him know that. charles still believes that he is like his dad, and he saw exactly what his parents’ relationship did to his mother.

he thinks that loving edwin in the way that he wants to would only cause more pain to this boy who has already been through far more than he deserves. so he blinks back his tears, attempts the same charming smile he’s used all these years, and dishes out the gentlest non-rejection in the history of forever

[i-may-be-an-emu]

WHAT AM I MEANT TO SAY WHEN PEOPLE ASK ABOUT MY HOBBIES LIKE OH. IM VERY OBSESSED WITH AN IMPROV GROUP FROM LONDON. YEAH WHEN I THINK ABOUT THEM I SMILE LIKE A MANIAC AND I’VE CRIED BECAUSE THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME MULTIPLE TIMES. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

[purplecatghostposts]

*Holds up Félix and Chloé* It’s not obvious because it’s all WIPs and very little has been posted but I care them so much. I love putting them in a room together and locking the door to see what happens. They’re two somewhat territorial cats who are fighting one minute, then totally chill the next. They’re judging each other. They like to hang out and judge other people. They’re mocking each other one minute and then planning each other’s parents’ (Andre and Audrey’s/Colt’s) murders. Amélie invites Chloé over and treats her like a daughter. Chloé is breaking down crying in Amélie’s arms because she feels loved one moment, then smirking at Félix because she’s stealing his mom five minutes later. Sabrina knows Félix by his full government name due to Chloé’s ranting but has never formally met him. They both love Adrien so much but they’re not the greatest at remembering to tell him. They both have so many issues. They complain about each other. They have blackmail material for days. They would kill for one another if it came down to it. Do you feel me. Do you get me. Did any of that make sense. I know I’m taking a five second interaction and allusions to what their relationship was before and blowing it up out of proportion but they interest me so MUCH and I WILL make headcanons about it.

[candyheartedchy]

It must be nice not having to bottle everything up.

[lefthalfoflancelot]

AND OH NO I IMMEDIATELY MESSED UP AND FULLY MISINTERPRETED THE ENTIRE REQUEST FOR TEEN AND UP AND GENERAL RATINGS ONLY BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS THE OTHER DIRECTION: AS IN ONLY THINGS TEEN AND UP AND NOT ANYTHING BELOW THAT. NOT ‘TEEN & UP’ AS ONE ENTIRE RATING IM SO STUPID AND SO SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭

If it’s any consolation: the author of Expectations denotes where the smut is so that you can skip it entirely. And To Build a Home has minor sexual connotations near the end of it but they’re glazed over and also very flowery so it’s something that’s not very explicitly said. More of a poetic love than something raunchy.

I could kick myself for misreading what you wrote and I’m so so so so sorry for that. I sometimes don’t process what I’m reading when I go “oh! i can help with that!” and rush into action. I’m glad I reread the post, though to catch myself… after I posted my reply. I’m stupid. I’m gonna go crawl in a hole and be mortified about it for a day now, sorry.

—————

ive been on a destiel kick for the past two months. So, here are some bangers I’ve cried to and weep for and die for (i have a particular fondness for slow burn and some of these are the slowest burns ever. i mean that so be warned lmao):

Expectations by everandanon (Explicit | 418k Words) I adored this one even though, toward the end, I got frustrated with Dean and Cas being dumb stupid idiots. But, that’s part of why I adore them. This is also A/B/O and set in a more Victorian/Regency era.

Under the Midnight Sun by NorthernSparrow (Explicit | 232k Words) This ended up being one of my absolute favorites and wholly unexpected. There’s a lot of twists and turns in it that will catch you out and off guard, but it’s worth the read. I adore Dean in this and his need and desire to love people.

To Build a Home by intothesilentland (Mature | 383k Words) I have never cried so much reading fic than reading this. It’s very descriptive which I know is not for a lot of folks, but I’m a poet and so I adore the use of symbols and metaphors and just flowery things in general. This is a fic heavily dipped in grief and loss, which helped me so much with my own grief. Also it has ADHDean and he’s so beautifully written and it makes me feel heard and represented because just the way he stumbles over conversation and thinking too much all the time about everything, I dunno… it resonates with me a lot. Anyway, this hurt my heart and if you want a lot of angst with these boys’ love, please read this one.

Let It Be by Persephoneshadow (Mature | 143k Words) This is a “what if Mary lived and John died” fics and I find it to be beautifully made. I like fics that, if Mary’s alive, it paints her as a complicated figure that’s not all perfect or all Dean has imagined. I particularly like this one because much of the fic has Dean being Dean it isn’t wracked by the parental trauma of being neglected and forced into a father-mother role for Sam. Anyways, it’s a really lovely fic and I adored every bit of it.

A Graced Kingdom by abtarchive (Explicit | 318k Words) I think this has to be up there in the top 5 of my fav Destiel fics. It’s got quite a bit of action, slow burn, and wonderful characters. As someone who, as he’s gotten older, felt more critical of the way folks write and talk about black and brown characters, this one does such an enormous job at giving them the justice they deserve and to be written like the author cares about them. As someone brown, myself, that means so, so, so immensely to me. Emery, Elaria, and Kyra have to be some of my favorite OCs I’ve ever read. Oh and this one has such good relationships outside of the main pairing. Without giving away to much, one of them absolutely broke me and left me hollow and sobbing for eternity.

Hautley’s Bend by ColdInTheStudio (Explicit | 500k Words) Lastly, this one! I haven’t finished it yet because the fic itself feels very heavy, which is rich since I’m like 3 chapters away from finishing “To Build a Home” but anyways, it’s a tough read because of the material, imo. A lot of darkness in Dean and especially centered around John and a lot of that comes out in violence. It’s such a wonderful fic, though, and I feel like something that should be read because it’s beautifully crafted and with a lot of pain and emotions to push through and process. Missouri in this is just, ugh, I would die for that woman. I would DIE for her.

I can’t really put to words how much these fics have meant to me while reading them or how fantastic they really are. So, my little short descriptions of them hopefully suffice. You and others may have read these before as I kinda took a really long hiatus on fanfic reading from like I wanna say 2015 or 2016 to today. I only recently started reading a bunch and have hyperfixated on it a bunch since early October of this year. So, I’m playing a lot of catch up and it has honestly been the time of my life holy shit.

But, again I apologize if these are fics you’ve already read. I have a desire to read the slowest of burns and the longest of fics and that’s just been my preference since fic reading (I CONSUMED riseofthefallenone’s fics like Hunting For Faith and A Little Patience like they fueled my life force) so that’s what I’ve mainly been searching for myself. These also happen to be rather popular fics, too, lmao, so all the more likely people have read them.

Regardless, I hope that this has helped and will fill your days or weeks with all that Dean and Cas goodness! There’s a few more I didn’t list because I’ve been reading A LOT and don’t remember the names because I have ADHD and can only remember how they made me feel and what happened in them as they ripped my heart to shreds. It’s all been a jumbled mess of Dean and Cas and wild stories in my head for the past two months. I forget to bookmark stuff and didn’t have my history on while I read, so fun times. 😭

I wanna read destiel fanfics so bad but I need recommendations. Someone help. Teen & up / general ratings only. I'm looking for longfics. Can be completed or wip.

TIA here is how happy you will make me:

[quietlyblooms]

on a separate but related note, i wanna point out that part of chiyo’s journey is supposed to be finding love. it’s that thing of loving someone else is easier than loving herself, but in that love, she grows. she learns to not be so hard on herself. she learns that where she sees an ugly, overgrown garden, others see flourishing flowers. now!! that isn’t to say that platonic and familial love isn’t super important — it is!! so very much!! that’s why i want to try and build up the people around her so that i can think about how those relationships help her grow too. if not for them, chiyo would be so much worse off. there’s a lot about herself that she would always hide and stress about if not for her friends and family. she would hide away from the world itself if not for them.

but i just wanted to explain why sometimes i focus so much on romance as a concept with chiyo. i mean, i do just really enjoy shipping bc of the build up of that relationship. the development and journey is very rewarding bc it isn’t a smooth ride with chiyo 90% of the time. but pls know you are never obligated to ship with me, nor do i go in thinking you will automatically want to ship together. if i feel chemistry? yeah i may eventually say something or test the waters with a meme. but just as there’s no pressure if you want to ship, there’s no pressure if you don’t want to ship. i’m excited to write together no matter the kind of dynamic we decide on 💜

[emily-mooon]

For absolutely no reason at all, I turned Lisa and Stacey into magical girls

[tariah23]

Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.

[eebi-after-hours]

????? I can’t believe I never posted these here … sosorry bxd nation …

[wundrousarts]

Mini Silverborn Countdown

If you’ve been around for a few years, you’ve seen me vaguely mention a “Silverborn Countdown Challenge” several times. It’s been delayed and changed as many times as the book itself, lol.

If anyone wants sort of a low-stakes, very chill and spaced out version of this ye olde never tackled challenge to complete in the next year before Silverborn, I propose what I’m doing:

Every 3 months leading up to the initial release, I am creating one thing based on each of the books.

January — Nevermoor

April — Wundersmith

July — Hollowpox

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[alaskan-wallflower]

i think it’s funny i’m the one people send brody hate to lol like okayy

[stephantom]

I’d need to watch it again to confirm this, but I’m pretty sure that Thomas Becket is the only character who independently initiates touch with Henry?

There are plenty of people whom Henry touches, and it’s almost always possessive or threatening: the villager woman in the first flashback scene, the Saxon peasant girl (and possibly the old man? I think he prods at both of them with his riding crop), Gwendolen (holding her shoulders/neck), the French prostitute (kissing, leaning over, sitting on, slapping her butt), his sons (pushing and kicking them), the bishop (strangling), his barons (clutching onto one, tapping one’s head to indicate his vapidness), and Thomas too—(clasping his shoulders when he realizes Thomas is hurt, holding his hand to put on the chancellor ring).

Interestingly, I don’t think we ever see Henry touch or be touched by his mother or his wife. There’s the moment when he grabs/kicks their needlework, and later on he knocks all the plates off the table, possibly vaguely in their direction—so there are two physical interactions which are violent but still sort of… distant? And still the direction is just Henry to them (in terms of physicality, anyway—verbally, they do initiate conversations/fights with him).

Does anyone touch Henry? There are the monks who whip him in the end, but Henry has ordered them to do it. Likewise, there’s the servant/valet/page who begins to wipe him dry in the bath scene, but again, that’s someone performing a duty. Thomas Becket though, cuts in and takes over the drying, and the dialogue tells us explicitly that he’s not expected to do this, and doesn’t have to (“You’re a nobleman—why do you play at being my valet?”) but Becket seemingly wants to do it, and he knows Henry likes how he does it: enthusiastically, confidently, warmly, and freely (“No one does it like you, Thomas”). He towels Henry’s head, helps Henry put on his boots, and then casually uses Henry’s legs to push himself up to stand.

There’s the scene in Henry’s tent, after the French prostitute has left and the two of them are sitting on the bed: Becket sort of leans in and briefly clasps Henry’s arm where it’s lying in his lap, casually and warmly.

There’s also the getaway horse ride, where Becket is holding onto Henry, arms wrapped around him, and they’re both laughing and smiling. Henry’s shirt actually falls open a little and Becket’s hand winds up on his bare torso.

And then there are the thwarted attempts at touch, after the split: the two scenes where Henry accuses Becket of not loving him. Both times, Becket moves toward Henry and reaches out to touch him, and both times, Henry moves away and tells him to keep his distance.

They’re quick little things, but if they are actually the only instances of anyone touching Henry affectionately (or even of their own volition) that we see over the course of the movie, it does support an impression of Henry as fundamentally isolated—maybe there is truth to his claim that Becket is the only person who’s ever loved him.

What’s tragic is that 1) Henry doesn’t really know how to express love himself (see: Henry expressing nothing but violence and entitlement to everyone else around him, and even to Becket for the most part), and 2) Becket’s love, albeit huge in Henry’s world, is conflicted and unfulfilling—for both of them.

Becket might be the only person who’s dared to reach out to Henry and meet him on something close to a human level, and Henry loves him for it, but why does Becket do it? Part of it may just be an instinct of Becket’s to fulfill a need where he sees one, if he can, and if it benefits him. I think it’s so interesting that Henry seems obsessed with the question of whether Thomas really loves him, when it seems the truth might be that Thomas actually doesn’t know; maybe it’s an unanswerable, even nonsensical question to him. Like, what else could he do? I don’t know. “Insofar as I was capable of love, yes I did [love you].” But the fact that his last words, unwitnessed and private, are, “Poor Henry.” Fuck me up.

Ok, that last paragraph got away from me and now I can’t stop. Tempted to draw comparisons to “Beauty and the Beast” (this is a sad version where no magical transformation happens… unless you take a particular Catholic stance and consider that both of them maybe took real solace and meaning in Thomas being made a saint and that Henry maybe found real absolution through his penance).

I also want to compare all of this to “The Lion in Winter”, where it feels like, rather than a story about one lonely monster in a castle full of people he sees as objects, it’s a whole microcosm of traumatized and power-hungry people, reaching out for power and security and love and stabbing each other in the back, over and over. (Like, of course his mother and wife and kids have complex feelings for him—some of which involve love!) I think that depiction is better and less myopic, more true to life and probably a more accurate portrait of the historical figures involved (even when it comes to Henry and Becket—Becket was of that world too, after all), but I think I’ve rambled enough about all of this, so I’m going to end this post now. I’ll just say that there’s something nevertheless appealing about the boiled-down fairytale melodrama of “no one else ever loved me but you!”