#anyway sorry for the rambling

[alaskan-wallflower]

i think it’s funny i’m the one people send brody hate to lol like okayy

[usedtobethelegendcreator]

The urge is real. I must hold back. *gives him sensory issues anyway*

I know I (and many other artists) tend to draw a version of myself that doesn’t really exist, so here’s a vague approximation of what I really look like.

[blue-likethebird]

All the popular totk theories being concepts I’m ambivalent to at best and outright hate at worst has shown me what a bubble I’ve been consuming Zelda content in

[lelet-draws]

They say that to write a realistic character they have to react to their environment and situation and that’s why disabled characters don’t often resonate with me.

I feel like some writers just don’t write disabled characters reacting to their disability because they are afraid of being offensive. It’s a waste of depth that could be added to the character.

They are just standing there as if nothing is up with them, as if society doesn’t judge them for being disabled, as if being disabled isn’t frustrating sometimes, as if it doesn’t come with self loathing and even loneliness.

Plenty of disabled characters don’t get that kind of depth, they tend to be either completely positive with their disability, to an unrealistic degree, or completely negative in a way that feels like ableism from the writers part. I’m glad Viktor lies somewhere in the middle.

And Jayce’s speech felt so validating, it wasn’t just a shallow “you are perfect the way you are and society will suddenly accept you”, it was an intimate moment where he reassured Viktor that he never thought of him as less or broken.

okay. let’s talk about jayce’s monologue, since people are calling him ableist.

for context, not that it matters: I have a significant mobility disability and a progressive chronic illness which, even when managed, can kill me. I’m not in exactly the same boat as viktor since my disease isn’t terminal, but I’ve had very similar experiences to him. this shapes my perception of him and of this storyline.

this is the monologue:

You’ve always wanted to cure what you thought were weaknesses. Your leg. Your disease. But you were never broken, Viktor. There’s beauty in imperfections. They made you what you are. An inseparable piece of everything I admired about you.

first, it should be noted that “what you thought were weaknesses” is not the same thing as “things that are good.” jayce is not saying that viktor’s disease is or was a good thing. what he is saying is that he admired (loved) everything that viktor was, which included the things viktor thought made him a burden or a problem. remember also that jayce almost doomed the world because he couldn’t let viktor die; he would never imply that viktor dying was a good thing.

the next question, then, is whether viktor sees himself as a burden or not. I think it’s implied that he does — it’s certainly not unrealistic to think that viktor might have come to view himself, or at least his disease, as a burden and a flaw. disabled people often view ourselves that way either because of internalized ableism or because society constantly tells us that we’re burdens and that our bodies are abnormal and wrong. viktor displays behaviors that indicate internalized ableism, including hiding the fact that he’s coughing up blood from jayce the first few times it happens and generally refusing to be in the public eye in a way that is self-effacing and not just him being private. yes, he says in act 1 of season 1 that he believes in himself, but he does also call himself a cripple in a dismissive way in that same scene; also, he doesn’t have the disease at that point. arguably the entire scene where he runs despite clearly being in pain is an example of his internalized ableism, but that’s another post.

more evidence for viktor’s perception of himself being negative is that he clearly has a sense that he doesn’t deserve to be loved (specifically by jayce, but maybe also in general). we see this when he asks jayce why he’s still persisting in saving him. we see this with his generally self-effacing behavior. we see this with the fact that in all of season 1, the only person he allows to touch him is jayce, and that the only person he actively touches in the entire show is jayce. viktor is reserved and not good with his emotions, which is a huge part of his arc this season. all of these behaviors point to him having a negative self-perception.

I think it’s important to really consider how jayce perceives viktor and how viktor perceives himself. I don’t think this season handled everything perfectly, but I think they handled this very well. viktor has been written with a fullness and complexity that most disabled characters don’t ever get. him being morally grey doesn’t mean he’s “problematic” or “bad representation.” obviously I’m only one disabled person, but I really love jayce and viktor and I think their story is beautifully written.

[novemquadragintillion]

.

[frownyalfred]

in the realm of like, rich kid problems, I want to someday read/write a fic where Nightwing is slowly establishing himself as a full-fledged JL member and everyone is relieved because finally, there's a nice Bat on the Watchtower who doesn't just shoot down their plans and deny their mission requests. but. while Nightwing is kind, and polite, and charming in all the ways the Bat isn't, he's still Dick Grayson. and Dick Grayson grew up as a very rich kid's suddenly very rich kid, which is to say while Bruce might not take it personally, Dick has been fending off people almost his entire life who were trying to use him for his Dad's money. which is to say, I think once Nightwing is on board and the relationship between him and Batman is at least somewhat well-known, there is suddenly a rush of younger, less-experienced members trying to take advantage of Nightwing, mistaking that kindness and openness for willingness to either voluntarily, or involuntarily, infringe upon and cross Batman's clear-cut boundaries. bribing Dick for a better monitor shift with Batman is one thing (it doesn't really work, Dick can't bribe Bruce with much as it is) but trying to convince Nightwing to lie to Batman? to go against him? his dad? the man who pulled him up when he had nothing and gave him meaning again? that man?? and then comes the inevitable, chilling realization, that while Nightwing might wear a different mask, might wear an open smile on the Watchtower and with friends off-shift, there are some lines he won't cross, same as Bruce. he won't, sure as the sun rises and the rot rolls off the Gotham Harbor in the morning.

[gingermintpepper]

I think, perhaps one of the funniest things to come from EPIC popularising the Odyssey is that now a ton of people think Poseidon wanted to kill Odysseus.

In the Odyssey, Poseidon has no intention of killing Odysseus. In fact, part of the whole reason Zeus lets Poseidon do whatever he wants even though he thinks Odysseus is rad and should get to kiss his wife is explicitly because Poseidon had no intentions of killing Odysseus. Poseidon wanted to pay back the suffering/inconvenience blinding Polyphemus would have caused. It's a really abstract thing tbh. How do you pay back someone permanently disabling your son? Poseidon's solution was just to amputate Odysseus from his other half; i.e. Penelope. The end game was never murder, it was always an endurance race.

(Od. Book 1: Zeus reassuring Athena that he is not, in fact, a part of Odysseus Hater-Nation. Trans. Robert Fagles)

Also, for those wondering if there's any sort of in text reason for why Poseidon wasn't around in God Games - at the time in the Odyssey when Athena petitions Zeus to let Odysseus leave Calypso's island, Poseidon was -checks notes- on vacation in Ethiopia. Yep. He left to Ethiopia for a festival and thusly was very much absent for Athena's whole "please let Ody go? Please? 🥺" request.

(Od. Book 1: While Odysseus was suffering, Poseidon went to party in the east)

I am begging y'all to read the Odyssey. It's a comedy for everyone except Odysseus and Penelope who are, in fact, suffering 24/7 365.

[meltinii]

hualian fits!

[balimaria]

one day, I will set this right

[doodlethedrawer]

I've seen a few people now say that people won't be able to make dramatic winner art/animations out of Joel, and that couldn't be further from the truth

Yes, Joel doesn't take anything seriously. That what makes him terrifying.

Think about it. He's stuck in a death game and he is having fun. When everyone is chasing him down in the finale, he easily uses the teleport power to evade them while barely trying. He can taunt and laugh at them, confident he can't be caught, and he's RIGHT.

Joel feels no fear. He plays the game. He revels in the chaos with a smile on his face. If that is not an epic setup for a villain I don't know what is. It also creates a fun dynamic between him and the other winners. He doesn't care, he can taunt them with memories he's now regained ("Weren't you and Scar friends Grian? How's your soulmate Pearl?") and it throws them off because never has a winner been untouchable like this before. He has no guilt to grapple with, but everyone else does. That gives him innate power over the others

Joel himself is a wildcard. He enjoys the game as much as the watchers. He can adapt to anything, as proven by the series he won in. He has loyalties, sure, but in the end he didn't really care about killing Grian. He thrives when others struggle to survive, and he LOVES chaos.

In conclusion, Joel is the life series equivalent of Bill Cypher. In this essay I will-

[anbaisai]

Couldn't unsee Aira's hair as literally pink Azul hair so I had to make this once episode 10 of Dandadan dropped

[dailyhatsune]

Miku comes out to her dad

memories of miku and mike at the pride parade

[triona-tribblescore]

So, whats with the suit?

[neigepomme]

cw // NSFW. virginity loss with X-02 / some spoilers for caleb's myth

thinking about the first time with caleb as X-02. buried deep within his memories is this desire to touch you, to experience your warmth, and to find out how you feel wrapped around him — to learn what faces and sounds you make when you eventually fall victim to the overwhelming pleasure.

caleb would take his time, push away all of the thoughts telling him to thrust into you harder and harder in order to satisfy his own wants. instead, he prioritizes you, just like he's always done. he taught you about the warmth of one another, showed you what happiness feels like, and made you feel alive.

he would be the first to teach you what euphoria feels like, and he'd be so sweet — but not too soft. caleb knows what's best for you, but his heart still clenches when he sees you grimace in discomfort at first. your pain receptors may have been dulled by the researchers at OTHAN, but you're still capable of knowing what pain is, and despite your body having experienced numerous wounds in battle, adjusting to caleb's size is still a challenge.

just like the first time when he exchanged energy with you, a wave of cold discomfort washes over you, but his arms embrace your body, keeping you in place while you gasp and clench around him in order to get used to that feeling of fullness. caleb knows what's good for you, and letting you squirm and run away from him isn't a good thing. so he kisses your face softly, starting with your forehead, then your eyes, cheeks, and finally, your lips — the tenderness of it all a stark contrast from the bruising grip he has on your hips as he bottoms out into you.

eventually, the discomfort subsides, and you see your expression reflected in caleb's eyes. your flushed cheeks and half-lidded eyes, the quiet whimpers and moans falling from your lips. in between pants, you speak softly and wrap your arms around his neck.

"is this.. euphoria?"

your tone and curiosity, carrying hints of longing and hidden desires, act like aphrodisiacs for caleb. in your field of vision, you see drops of sweat trickle down his forehead, and he's mirroring your red cheeks — his dazed expression, full of adoration amplifying the strange tightening sensation you feel in your lower stomach. he just smiles at you before nodding, pressing another delicate kiss to your lips before moving his mouth on your neck, suckling purple bruises near your pulse point.

without your exoskeletons on, you can feel his warmth, and it's like you've uncovered the taste of the forbidden fruit. greedily, your hands shift from his neck to his back, and you try to move your hips in an attempt to meet his thrusts, seeking out more of this warmth, more of this feeling — trying to release the tight coil in your stomach.

"do you feel good?"

it's caleb's turn to ask a question, and in response, all you can do is moan and drag your nails softly down his back, careful not to scratch him too hard. you shake your head yes, and it's so hard to formulate sentences, when all you can think of is caleb. his name repeats like a mantra in your mind before making its way to your lips. you call for him, unaware of what you're even seeking. that is until it clicks for you, spoken through your body like a fact that the universe itself decreed.

you're seeking caleb out.

"wanna feel more warmth, wanna feel you more — wanna be one with you, caleb."

in response, caleb's eyes widen, and he moans, pressing himself against your body more, his hips driving into you harder than before. his restraints slowly die down as he observes your mannerisms when you get closer and closer to your release — mesmerized by the way you clench down on him involuntarily, the way you arch your back to meet his chest. his hand moves down to rub tight circles against your clit, making the volume of your cries for him increase tenfold.

when you inevitably reach your high, all you can do is babble caleb's name repeatedly, as you cup his cheeks, your foreheads pressed together. you can practically feel caleb's heart beating against yours, syncing up as the speed of his thrusts increases. you look down to where the two of you are joined, and the visual stimuli of his cock sliding in and out of you, covered in your slick and his pre-cum sends your mind and body into overdrive, moaning harder and harder as caleb's motions grow more frantic, desperate. eventually, the pace between his thrusts becomes uneven, and you feel his warm release shoot into your womb. his voice rougher yet laced with devotion as he comes, and the weight of his words reach your hazy mind.

"i love you i love you i love you — fuck, i love you so much."

breathing hard, he collapses on top of you, careful not to crush you under his weight. both of your bodies spent, yet feeling so fulfilled. stroking his hair softly, the way he did with you, you repeat his words to him, and although you don't quite understand them, they feel right. he feels right, and you wouldn't trade this unknown feeling for anything in the world.

"i love you, caleb."

🍎 pomme's notes — clang clang clang clang (usb connect disconnect sound x81981789) . erm . Ya !

[screambirdscreaming]

Something that peeves me whenever I see another post going around with some variation on "autistic people take things literally which means we are the only people who communicate Clearly and Directly" is that - for any given statement, there is not one singular, agreed on, universal Literal Interpretation. If there was, none of this would be a problem!

The nature of language is that there's always some degree of interpretability. Words have several different meanings, often overlapping, and there's nuance of context, cultural references, and so on.

Faced with a statement, most people will quickly come up with an interpretation that to them makes the most sense. But if you asked a roomful of people to explain in detail their interpretations, everyone's would probably be a little different, even for a pretty simple statement. Regardless of whether those people are autistic! Everyone conceptualizes the world a little differently, and everyone has a unique personal history of all the language they've encountered, and these things effect our interpretations.

In order for communication to be workable, given this slosh in interpretability, there's another couple of processes that go on. As conversation goes on, people reassess if their initial interpretation matches up with additional context. If it doesn't, they revise it, or ask clarifying questions. And on the flipside of this process, the other person in conversation is tracking if your reactions make sense with *their* understanding of what they're trying to convey to you, and offering context or rephrasing things if it seems you're out of alignment.

These processes are social skillsets that are, like most social skillsets, not ever directly articulated or explained. Many people are bad at one or both. Sometimes you encounter someone who is really, notably good at it - the vaunted "good listener", who puts in the effort to really understand what you're trying to say, or that really excellent teacher who engages with you back and forth until you really get it. But a lot of the time, it's a sort of passive social friction - people just not getting each other.

Sometimes, you encounter someone whose brain works so much like yours that talking to them feels almost effortless - you just get each other. But that's a pretty rare occurrence for anyone. More often, as you get to know someone, you start to understand the shape of the way they interpret things and learn to account for it, so over time it's easier to make sense to each other.

It's honestly not uncommon in society for people to aggregate in groups of people who interpret things similarly, and who are thus easier to talk to, rather than actually building the skills of communicating across interpretation gaps. Particularly egregious are those groups of men who talk about Women as an incomprehensible monolith, but it turns up to a greater or lesser degree on a lot of levels.

I suspect this is the root of a lot of parenting problems - people who have never built this communication skillset, and relied on choosing friends who make sense to them without a lot of effort, and who are then totally unprepared to interact with a child who interprets things in ways they don't expect.

Obviously I can't speak to The Universal Typical Experience, not least because it doesn't exist. But in general I would posit that:

Most people, give or take a few assholes, are not trying to say things that are confusing. Most people think they are communicating clearly, because the first interpretation *they* would come up with on hearing one of their own sentences is the correct interpretation.

Many people are not very good at accounting for different ways people could interpret things they're saying. However, it is normal and polite social behavior to be somewhat flexible about this and forgiving of misunderstandings. If people are being shitty to you about not understanding them, they are assholes. And I wouldn't assume that the rest of the communication they have with everyone else they know goes totally smoothly for them.

I suspect there is a bit of an unfortunate feedback loop, where people have bad experiences when someone gets mad at them for not getting something, and learn to hide when they're confused. Which then leads to larger, more complicated misunderstandings, which other different people get upset at them about, because those people think they should have asked for clarification in the first place.

Truly you can't win with everyone. No one can win with everyone. There is no monolith of "neurotypical communication" which resolves all these contradictions - all those people you're lumping in together under "neurotypical" have just as much trouble with each other.

[shittybundaskenyer]

And they ask me // Is it going good in the garden? // I say I'm lost but I beg no pardon