#and now he hates me
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You said the 'i can fix him' thing and all i could think was this
You can't tell me im wrong
i flick him with my fingers n throw him across the room and he comes back worse than before
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#don't read these tags#i promise you don't want to#it's not pretty#/#i think my last day is coming up soon#i keep wanting to kill myself more and more#and the things that used to hold me back are steadily losing their meaning to me#and more and more often I'm coming to the conclusion that i need to just get it over with#i haven't exactly decided on a date#but i think i have settled onto the conditions that would make me decide to try to go through with it#he's the only person to ever make me *feel* loved in my life#and now he hates me#so whats the point#i cant keep hurting lile this#i cant talk to a therapist about it because theyll send me to a psych ward#and my experience at the last one was so bad that killing myself aounds far#far better#than going back again#i can't cook or clean any more#it's getting harder and harder for me to eat anything#i havent cooked at all in almost 3 months#and i havent cooked for myself in like 5#im pretty sure ill lose my job soon#when that happens itll be an incredibly easy choice for me since i can never recover from it#i cant make friends#i want to be wanted#i want to be missed#but that's just not who i ever am to people#the first people to even notice i was gone would be my coworkers in about a week#my parents probably wouldn't find out for at least a few months
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you dislike Luke Castellan because he disagreed with an oppressive government system and actually took action to change the abusive ways him and his peers have been forced to follow for millennia.
I dislike Luke Castellan because in the Titans Curse he manipulated Annabeth, who he raised as his little sister, into holding up the sky, the FUCKING sky, for over 20 hours and had the audacity to walk away as though he was completely apathetic towards it while she begged and pleaded with him to help her.
we are not the same.
#I agree with Luke’s beliefs 100%#I don’t agree with his actions#but I specifically remember Luke seeming real fucking unaffected while leaving Annabeth to endure being literally crushed to death#the rest of the halfbloods that joined the titans army had good intentions but Luke… oh boy#I’m sorry I can’t help but disagree with his actions#percy jackon and the olympians#luke castellan#annabeth chase#percy jackson#percy series#camp half blood#pjo hoo toa#some ppl in the comments pointed out shit I forgot ty guys#like the way he manipulated Silena and Annabeth because he knew they loved him is literally pedophillia 🤢🤮#I was cautious with my tags at first because I thought Luke apologists were gonna come at me with knives if I said more than necessary#but now I’m brave enough to admit I hate that man and no one can convince me otherwise
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i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one
his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.
ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication
ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.
#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#shuro dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#toshiro nakamoto#dont get me wrong i understand relating to a character and hating whoever wrongs them cause youre protective or you relate really hard#but i think toshiros been getting the short end of the stick for a long time now 😭#even his love for falin is misunderstood#he literally states all the reasons he likes her#and none of them are superficial#but hes so closed off and has such difficulty expressing himself that instead of asking her out or smth he just#proposed to her out of the blue 😭#leading a lot of ppl to just assume that he went 'white woman spotted' and proposed#do Not misunderstand me i am#a HUGE farcille stan#obviously#but i dont think toshiros feelings are surface level and i think theyre absolutely crucial to understanding him and his motivations#as a character in this story
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Self-indulgent showtime sketches
#my art#fanart#digital art#the amazing digital circus#tadc#showtime#showtime shipping#pomni x caine#caine x pomni#tadc fanart#look i get that he’s an ai and that she probably hates his guts#but their designs just compliment each other ok??#and they have such a fun dynamic too#i am cringe but i am free#tadc caine#tadc pomni#took me a lot of willpower not to draw them for a while now but the parasites the demons in me….they want me to draw showtime#paine
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the sudden thought of bakugou katsuki sending an audio to his s/o while at the gym, where he speaks IN BETWEEN GASPS AND GRUNTS AND EVEN GROWLS BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT HE'S LIFTING WHILE ALSO TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR DINNER AND SUGGESTING MEALS OR PLEACES TO GO IF YOU WANT AND THEN HE SAYS, "Ugh... whatever you... mmh... want, baby, it's yours..." AND HE EXHALES FUCKING SEXILY AS THE SOUND OF THE WEIGHT DROPPING IS HEARD.
— I'M DYING HELP.
#DON'T @ ME#I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS CAME FROM#I EVEN HATE WHEN MEN DO ALL THOSE SOUNDS AT THE GYM#BUT THEN...#BAKUGOU KATSUKI#AND THE THOUGHT WAS: FUCK YEAH HE WOULD DEF SOUND SO FREAKING SEXYYYYYY#okay ill stop now goodnight#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#mha bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#mha smut#bnha smut#mha imagines#mha headcanons#mha scenarios#bnha scenarios#bnha imagines#mha bakugo katsuki
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it's because i wouldn't let you kill the bounty hunter isn't it
#he's so mean 2 me#bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#bg3 tav#these files were titled 'asstarion' on my computer#that'll show him#managed to redress my finger so i can draw#but seeing as this is my first time drawing asstarion i'm not gonna go full lineart and colour#it was fun though he's got a great face#hate drawing his hair though#sorry you don't want to fuck me astarion#sorry you don't have good taste 😤#also i gave my tav pure black eyes and now every time he frowns it looks like he's got these big puppydog eyes i love him so much
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nomad boyfriend comes back for a visit
obviously there are some extras for the patr0ns <3
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#halsin silverbough#durge#halsin x durge#the bhaalspawn has found an extremely healthy relationship dynamic#ashe's cats are so indifferent they're probably like 'oh tall tree dad is back'#i love domestics but also i think halsin is the kind of person who needs to vanish into the woods for 2-3 weeks#ashe hates dirt so he has his house with his cats#this makes me want to write an awful 70s farce where ashe thinks the guy's there for sex and he's just there to fix the boiler#i was working on a long angst comic but i pushed it back for. reasons#only wholesome stuff right now
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shujin trio,,my babies..,.,
#shujin trio AND MORGANA!!!! AND MORGANA#i dont get the morgana hate hes just a guy. all he did was be whimsical and enforce a good sleep schedule and the masses hated him#u are number 1 in my heart mona#i love the rest of the cast too but something about the original team of 4 is so dear to me 🥹🥹#update on my playthrough i beat shido up and were in mementos depths right now !!! i cant wait to fight yaldabaoth#WE R NEARING THIRD SEMESTER..... akechi navi lines are within arms reach#more at 5 . im going to make it there by tomorrow even if i fall behind on my summer math course#ann takamaki#takamaki ann#kurusu akira#akira kurusu#amamiya ren#ren amamiya#joker#morgana#ryuji sakamoto#sakamoto ryuji#persona 5#p5#p5r#persona 5 royal#shujin trio#my art
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How… Do I recover from this…?
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#bnha season 7#mha season 7#i’m just… after the episode my mind went blank completely… and then i started sobbing… because what the fuck…#i feel even more heartbroken than i already did and literally can’t stop crying…#bruh i can’t… i’m completely shattered… i couldn’t take screenshots without stopping for few moments to cry over dabi…#he has suffered so much… endured so much… i feel sick to my stomach omfg…#and some of y’all want me to change my mind about endeavor??? HELL NAH I NOW HATE HIM EVEN MORE ACTUALLY#so congrats to all of you that wanted dabi fans to be more understanding toward the walking garbage: it didn’t work#and never will. he needs and deserves to rot in fucking hell
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sorry guys they finally showed me peak fiction . Its called “phantom of the paradise”
#phantom of the paradise#potp#winslow leach#swan potp#nightmaretheater#these were all done on the same canvas and i spent over 20 hours on it. Its just that good you know#Sorry this movie is making me VICIOUSLY IRREGULAR. its just that good. You have to watch it Now#i hope you dont mind the billion belts i have gifted winslow. she deserves them#lalalalal i love redesigning characters a little teeny weeny bit#Honestly. I want to draw swan more. I hate him so much but hes like really interesting. Im going to put him in situations#I miiight have changed a few details . giggle#…:i just had to give him a cool mark & blonde eyelashes Giggles#anyways i love ur shiny metal teeth winslow *thinks about the metaphorical implications and dehumanization for 10 hours*#So hard to draw her helmet sometimes… But i will willingly struggle . It is Okay!#anyways. Watch this movie now or suffer my curse
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this is basically what happened, right?
(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them#can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks!#fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out)#also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side.#he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble#once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head.#anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours#but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious#specifically because you know silver would NEVER.#100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him.#lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c#silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father.#lilia:#lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids#you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would#he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along.#(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him)#i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations#but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there#sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there.#and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too#but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.
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Idk I just wanted to draw him with long hair
#when it's 2023 and you're experiencing Bleach for the first time#I have a bit of a love hate relationship with this series xD#Buuut in fact I'm lucky that I've only been watching anime for a few years now.#A lot of interesting series with interesting characters are still waiting for me.#my art#anime#bleach#hirako shinji#It's funny that at first I hated his character and now he's one of my favs in this anime
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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The other homestuck post I had in me, its the year of the cringe weirdo couple, my beloveds.
#homestuck#meowrails#meowrail#equius zahhak#nepeta leijon#its pale romance hours#i hated them in the comic when i started but now i would kill for them#homestuck did em dirty#but thats what fanfic and fanart is for#even though there is shockingly little of either for them and it makes me so so so sad#relegated to background characters only#i cant fully blame them though like equius is the worst but ive come to like him when i think of him outside of his joke aspects#hes the definition of crack taken seriously#mogs art
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simp
#I HATE COLORING I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE#my friends bought me an Apple Pencil and omgggg I’ve never had pressure before in my life#this changes everything#I can actually put my hand down on my iPad to doodle??#I’ve gotten so used to hovering my hand like what is going on#anyways 15!chuuya is actually amazing#I’ve made a recent discovery that I’m a lot similar to Dazai than I thought and idk how I feel about that cause he’s such a brat#ive gotten to the point that I’d actually talk to him on those character ai’s and it’s actually so embarrassing like it’s nothing#like the actual bsd dazai but I’d actually rather talk to a robot than a real person about my problems#I like kids being kids so I’m always down to draw 15!skk#chuuya nakahara#dazai Osamu#bsd#bungou stray dogs#skk#soukoku#myart#I’m gonna post and pass out now
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