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swrkn · 12 hours ago

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Hihi! I see you have blue lock in your fandoms you write for, do you have any ness headcannons? thank you <3

𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

Alexis ness x g/n reader

Genre ; sfw , fluff

Author note ; hii , that’s my first request for blue lock so i would like to thank you for that ! English is not my first language so im sorry if there are mistakes, my request are open !!

⇨ Thoughtful Supporter

Ness is the ultimate doting partner, almost to a fault. He's incredibly attentive, always noticing the little things that make you happy, like your favorite snacks or how you prefer your tea. He's fiercely loyal and seeks validation in the relationship, similar to how he idolizes Kaiser on the field. He wants to feel like he's your number one supporter.

One evening, you casually mention craving something sweet while you're both texting. You don't think much of it and move on with your night. The next day, there's a knock at your door, and when you open it, Ness stands there with a box of pastries from your favorite bakery. "You mentioned these yesterday," he says with a shy smile, his cheeks slightly flushed. "I couldn't let you go another day without them." You're touched by his thoughtfulness, and as you both sit down to enjoy the treats, you realize how much he pays attention to even your smallest remarks.

⇨ Your Biggest Cheerleader

He's deeply invested in your personal goals and will do everything he can to support you, much like how he supports Kaiser on the field. He'll be your biggest cheerleader, no matter what. In return, he appreciates when you show interest in his soccer career, even if it's just attending his games or asking about his training.

You're working late on a project, and Ness texts you: Don't forget to take a break, okay? You're doing amazing. A few minutes later, he shows up with a coffee in hand, ready to cheer you on.

After one of his big games, you greet him with a proud smile. "You were incredible out there," you say. His eyes light up, and he pulls you into a tight hug. "Hearing that from you makes it even better," he murmurs.

⇨ The Peace Maker

Ness hates conflict and will do his best to avoid arguments. If a disagreement arises, he'll try to resolve it calmly, often prioritizing your feelings over his own. He's quick to apologize, even if he's not in the wrong, but he appreciates it when you acknowledge his feelings too.

A minor disagreement arises when your schedules don't align, and you end up snapping at Ness out of frustration. He takes a deep breath, choosing not to escalate the situation. "I'm sorry if I upset you," he says calmly, his eyes soft with concern. "I just want us to work through this together." His willingness to approach the issue with understanding rather than anger helps you cool down, and together, you find a solution. By the end of the conversation, the tension has melted away, replaced by mutual understanding and affection.

⇨ Romantic Gestures

He's a romantic at heart. Expect surprise dates, handwritten letters, and spontaneous compliments. Ness loves making you feel cherished. His favorite thing is to cook for you, insisting that he knows all your favorite dishes. Even if it doesn't turn out perfect, he'll put his heart into every meal.

One weekend, you find a small envelope on your pillow. Inside is a handwritten note from Ness, detailing how much he appreciates you. "I just wanted to remind you how amazing you are," it reads. "Thank you for being in my life."

Ness surprises you by setting up a cozy picnic at the park, complete with a blanket, snacks, and your favorite playlist. "I thought we could use some fresh air and time together," he says, beaming.

⇨ Jealousy and Insecurity

Ness is prone to jealousy but tries to hide it. If he sees you getting close to someone else, he'll quietly fume but won't confront you directly. Instead, he'll subtly seek more of your attention to reassure himself. In moments of insecurity, he'll need you to affirm that you love him for who he is and not just for how much he supports you.

After one of Ness's matches, you find yourself talking with one of his teammates, complimenting his skills. From a distance, Ness watches, his smile faltering slightly as he sees how much you're enjoying the conversation. Later, when it's just the two of you, he hesitates before asking, "You seemed really close with him... Do you think they're funnier than me?" His voice is soft, almost uncertain. You immediately cup his face, looking into his eyes. "Ness, you're the one I love. No one else comes close," you assure him, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. His expression softens, and he pulls you into a tight hug, his insecurities melting away in your embrace.

⇨ The playful Competitor

He's surprisingly competitive when playing games with you, especially if it's something like board games or trivia. He loves teasing you when he wins but takes it gracefully if you beat him.

During a trivia night, Ness surprises you with how competitive he can get. "No way you knew that answer!" you laugh after he correctly names a random historical fact. He smirks and says, "What can I say? I'm full of surprises." When you finally beat him in the final round, he dramatically clutches his chest. "You've defeated me, but I'm proud of you," he says, making you both burst out laughing.

✵

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #ness #alexis ness #alexis ness x reader #ness alexis #ness alexis x reader #alexis #swrkn

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

#writeblr #this is a mashup of like 3 dates i accidentally went on lol #by that i mean that i was out with a woman on a date in 2 of these situations #and a man just. joined us. and we were too awkward to say anything while he tried to ''date'' me #& one was a longterm friend that i was like. you what????#like he's nice he's a doctor and my mom was SO happy she was like raquel think about it #''it's a perfect love story you grew up together and reconnected as adults and like the same things and he's friends with ur brother #and his sister is one of ur close friends!!!''#yes but alas. he is a boy . she only likes girls. can i make it any more obvious #anyway im tryna write about like the force of male attention being actually incredibly ingrained to women like we are SUPPOSED to like it #it's seen as the only important thing #even if ur gay #and it's a nuanced thing idk #and while rn i i.d. as lesbian #like .... it wouldn't be UNTRUE to say i am probably like ''cusp bisexual'' bc i CAN experience attraction to men bc like .#sexuality is fluid...#don't tell straight ppl tho bc they do not understand the concept that ppl don't necessarily need a solid everlasting label #they're like GET in the BOX #if ur gay & in boston i'm 30 and pretty please come kiss me.#(i usually only date older ppl sorry in advance tho)

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moonlit-dreamers · 4 months ago

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so idea

since i love the idea of the bots having tails i decided to get Silly with some of my own thoughts (tho i always had this idea i just never said it lol)

sun and eclipse bots function differently with how they use their tail to express things

suns work like dogs

eclipses work like cats

which probably leads to a bit of miscommunication bc they misunderstand the differences- like a dog wagging its tail (usually) means it’s happy. meanwhile with cats it means they’re agitated/overstimulated and r probably about to run laps around a room or attack someone

sun seeing eclipses tail wagging and being like “oh he must be happy about something!” meanwhile eclipse is trying to not destroy everything in the room 💀 then the other way around with eclipse being wary with sun wagging his tail bc he’s worried that sun is upset and tries to avoid him

like idk man its very silly to me

#birdcage rambles #sun and moon show #sams #the sun and moon show #tsams #tsams eclipse #tsams sun #also i say ''usually'' for dogs bc sometimes they do actually wag their tails in situations where they arent happy #and its usually to say ''hey im not trying to start a fight''#tho it also depends on other behaviors with their body language to deduce whether the dog is stressed or just happy #but anyway #this toootaalllyyy isnt bc i was thinking about my new au and how im considering giving sun nd eclipse tails #not at allll #tho i might give lunar a tail bc i think itd fit him #itd also probably work similarly with suns with it wagging when happy #anyway send post (12 hours later bc im scheduling it lol)

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crossthread · 1 year ago

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It's midnight and I've been thinking about her a lot tonight and I was like, fuck it lemme text her saying I miss her AND LO AND BEHOLD THERE WAS A TEXT FROM HER FROM YESTERDAY SAYING SHE MISSED ME

literally I stood no chance okay like wtf

People in love with their long time friends. How's it going for you? (asking for a friend)

#impossible situation here lads #cause like #this bitch is someone ive known for close to 10 years #been friends with for about 8 #vaugely in love with for about 5 of them on and off #and i say on and off like i think about it and sometimes i forget it kinda deal #been thinking about her a lot these few days #which sucks #no one else stands a chance you know?#im one of those bitches whos that specific flavour of neurospicy and queer that im not like #down to dating and hookups and crushes #im that idiot who needs to know you for at least a year before i decide im cool being proper friends with you #so yeah romantic relationships are close to impossible #genuinely tho #like #i love her #and i always will love her #even if im no longer IN love with her #tho not being in love with her seems like a tall tall ordeal #and im one particularly short bitch #and not to say im not happy about the situation #like this same thing could go on for the rest of my life and id be so happy as long as we're living in the same country #cause thats the bar yall #but anyway #shit like this happen #and my idiot brain stands no chance of thinking WHAT IF SOME DAY #ya get?

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icewindandboringhorror · 6 days ago

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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with #elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the #grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything #but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd #nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable #are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that #is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant #amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear #masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations #arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will #go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring #annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then #YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated #while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol #I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are #saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to #get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined #with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with #others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then #when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O #also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming #looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj #I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a #person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some #more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all #of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol #I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to #contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***

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sonknuxadow · 1 month ago

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crazy to me that sonic has so many votes in the current sonic channel poll when hes objectively the least deserving of a win here. and i say that as someone whos favorite character is sonic and has voted for him in these polls before. literally what are you people thinking those other options rarely ever get official art and youre just blacking out and clicking sonic because you cant turn your shipping brain off !?!??!?!!??!?!?! come on man

#for the record im only blaming shipping because almost eveyrone ive seen say they voted for sonic said they did it because so/nadow #like . okay if you wanna see sonic and shadow interact more fine #but sonic has already been in the 2024 sonic channel calendar Twice and is guaranteed to get plenty more art in the future #and theres also no shortage of content of him with shadow this year #meanwhile maria has 2 pieces of sonic channel art and gerald and black doom have none #and with gerald and black doom in particular i wouldnt be surprised if they never appear in a poll again #like its just a poll its not that deep but come onnnnnnnnn #maybe im a hypocrite for thinking this when i voted sonic to appear wiht knuckles over infinite that one time #and also pushed relaly hard for sonic to win #but. infinite had already appeared in one of the drawings for that year and sonic hadnt #also sonic and knuckles have an established relationship while knuckles and infinite is kinda a random combination #unlike in this matchup where none of them are just random characters thrown in #and also the 2023 art had the aspect of putting the characters in unique situations and outfits which hasnt been carried over to 2024 #so it wasnt Just about wanting to see art of a character you like but also about getting to see them in a cute outfit #basically what im trying to say is i might be a little hypocritical but its not Exactly the same situation #anyways. literally anyone but sonic sweep i would be happy with any of the other 3 tbh

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adhderall · 2 months ago

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well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.

also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever

(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )

#so. i get why people are against children transitioning i really do. and i have my own nuanced complicated feelings about it #but honestly. im beginning to believe id be more well-adjusted by now even if just a bit if i had started larping as male by 15.#would it fix all of my problems? no. but it would make a lot of things in my life much smoother and easier.#but i was sooo deep into raddie/gc shit that i had this fucking. complex about not wanting to troon because its ~cheating~#and 'omg all the butches are leaving!!1 butch flight i cant be one of them!!!1'#'i MUST be a good example for all the young girls!!!1' a weird sort of almost martyr-like complex if you will.#but as i get older im like... honestly man fuuuuccckkkkk this.#barely anybody expects straight or even bi women to abstain from dating men forever For the Good of Womankind #its not seen as Expected but rather Exceptional and Wow Amazing if you do.#and anyone who Expects it is seen as a ~crazy extremist~#meanwhile lesbians and especially HSTS are almost fucking Expected to sacrifice themselves for the ~greater good~#and ngl other lesbiams perpetuate this shit too.#oh you CANT transition even if you feel it'll make your life easier because because because #[arguments that would really only apply to OSA females transitioning]#[strawman] [misinterpreted stats] [unverified reddit posts]#and if all else fails 'think of how the very act of doing so will HURT ALL OF WOMANKIND'#no fucking wonder dysphoric lesbians develop an fucking insane martyr complex and start to treat hrt/transitioning like its fucking crack #'ill give into the temptation if i see a happy trans person ohh nooo so nobody should be allowed to troon'#like thats not fucking normal! you realize thats NOT FUCKING NORMAL right?#youre acting like a deranged christian who is so afraid of sinning by wrongthink #and disclaimer no. i dont inherently hate being female or a lesbian but with the way i am physically and mentally #i would have/have had a Much easier time integrating into society as a ~man~. just because of how i am physically and mentally.#now i wont say internalized homophobia/etc. NEVER has anything to do with transition or etc. but im gonna be real #for HSTS (which are extremely rare in the first place) thats often only a very small part of it at most.#its often more about making our lives easier and integrating better without having to completely remold our entire personalities.#thats the reality.#would we not transition if society have patriarchy/gender roles/sexism? perhaps. i wont deny that possibility.#the fact of the matter is however #that it wont be happening any time soon. so we just want our lives to be easier.#'oh but youre lying to yourself' not necessarily. i dont have a ~gender identity~ and im well aware of myself and my situation.

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toothfairyofficial · 4 months ago

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do you guys ever get emotional about the fact that someone (a character) is Out There, Somewhere. like it's ok that i don't even know them but it makes me happy to think about the fact that this person's in the same reality as me (again, in this case). Like whether in a kintype situation or a fictive or some combination or whatever. They're Out There and i hope to god happy. maybe they even have friends from the same source and they found each other again. Shout out to You for existing wherever you are

#to me this post is specifically about swerve. if you're out there buddy lmk how you're doing -rodimus #but also any fictionfolk can take this to heart.#does anyone else ever think about this? like? sure I get the whole “oh i'm so sad i might never find so-and-so again”#but i get these moments where i could cry happy knowing that person's out there and happy #or hoping at least #who knows. maybe it's an “it couldn't be going worse keith” situation #if anyone reads this you can tell me off or on anon how your Situation is going #especially if there's any transformers that follow me that i'm not already friends with #if you're a fictive how are you liking system life! did you see a bird today!#if you're fictionkin are you happy here! do you have friends from your source! did you see a bird today!#and if you Are an idw swerve im gripping your arms i hope you're happy i hope so fucking bad you're happy and surrounded by friends.#if you know one tell them to hmu if theyre interested in saying #god i hope all these tags post in the right order i wrote them all out of order #froggy speaks

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al-luviec · 24 days ago

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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

#alek insanity #not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant #home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day #s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but #its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his #true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish #seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each #other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people #some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here #and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to #say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav #for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has #always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he #doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong #with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only #baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me #the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did #cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the #form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird #(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was #avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol #but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself #for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc #he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow

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uygfiug · 4 months ago

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sometimes my parents make me want to commit violent crimes

#mine #sorry for putting this on your dash im just angry & have no one i can really bother with this #my brother said he wasnt sure if he wanted to come with us to a castle tomorrow #but hes too young to be home alone all day #so i went to tell my parents bc i sidnt think they wanted to learn that tomorrow morning #instead of even asking why they immediately started with the passive agressive comments #and in an annoyed tone going 'i just dont get what could be so bad about a day of fun with family'#first of all he didnt even say he wasnt goint #second shut the fuck up #he cant speak anymore & is crying #i offer him a bunch of alternatives while my father insults each one and makes it sound ridiculous #while my brother types on his phone #my father starts ranting at my parent about it #as if my brother isnt right fucking there and also 11 years old #im so happy he isnt coming with us #like yeah i never see him but the times i do are always so horrible that im kinda glad about it #he avoids us like the plague & we avoid him back #my parent is fine most of the time #but never in situations like this #if other people are upset in a way that inconviences them theyre shit about it too #anything related to not doing good in school also #and like im fine #im upset sometimes sure but i know i dont deserve this & i can deal with it fine #i dont think my brother deals with it very well though #so im very worried about him #especially bc i think high school is going to be a big struggle for him #possibly more than me #and tbh i think im more of a parental figure to him than our actual parents

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lilowoof · 2 months ago

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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone #you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run #my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point #the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer #why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up #what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation #and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other #that might be fun #also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING #but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion #but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha #ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog #one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art #gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free #ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-

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vaugarde · 5 months ago

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not to kinda get on a high horse about this because i know ive probably mentioned her more than i should (altho in my defense it’s because i was a fan of her when i was a teenager) buuut. for people who arent looking specifically at the allegations against her or her bigotry, i have to wonder if some of the attention on lily orchard from people who were never associated with her or victimized by her just feel vindicated at a trans woman making an ass of herself online

#and it feels shitty to say bc i know she uses her identity as a shield against criticism #and im not defending her against the allegations or saying no one should speak up abt or warn people about her #but…. idk. i think some ppl are definitely going in with a bias against trans women #like they’re happy to play the smug morally superior character to her bullshit #(yeah this is somewhat abt the s@iscribble situation on twitter. didnt watch her bc she honestly seemed annoying #and i didnt like how she used the r slur but apparently shes a big ol transphobe on twitter…. yeah that doesnt say anything abt her apparen #apparently being obsessed with lilys content #side note how are you gonna go off calling two youtubers media illiterate and then go on to say anthy could consent to akio)#echoed voice

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agentartemus · 21 days ago

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I thought today was a good one..

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possamble · 5 months ago

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ive been really really loving your fic work for awhile now and i saw u worrying about trans rep stuff the other day and i wanted to tell u that as a transgirl who has terrible BPD from being a lonely kid ive felt very connected with your intrepretation of falin. the whole inner dragon metaphor and the inner guilt of if its justified for standing up for yourself was so absolutely keen to some of the struggles ive had in relationships and seeing them written so well in a character that already means a lot to me is wonderful. also your smut is tremendous please keep doing the lords work <3

#asks #a little creature #im very happy it resonated w u #also ahah whenever people mention it speaking to their bpd ive been quiet bc im still fairly apprehensive about being too open abt it #but enough people have been kind enough to tell me about it so i guess it bears saying that its somewhat intentional #i usually try to temper the way that my bpd influences the way that i write bc i know most characters dont react that intensely to things #but i knew it would be inevitable with how i was handling the way falins dragon affects her usual audhd mindset so #i kinda just let loose and leaned into the ways it makes it so difficult to navigate your own emotions #esp. when your confidence in 'right and wrong' in social situations is already horribly shaken bc of the autism #im v v happy people are able to feel connected to it #the autism + adhd + bpd clusterfuck is such a specific thing that i really wasnt expecting this many ppl to find it relatable AHA

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annadelveys · 7 months ago

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always love it when i go through a Major Crisis but you wouldn't guess from the way i post <3 anyways I'm going through a Major Crisis

#will probably need to visit a crisis centre in the next couple of hours I'm just waiting for my mum to get here #its always like 'this cannot continue' and it always does and it always makes me feel shitty in the long run #i feel like im missing some kind of component that other people have #like i genuinely dont know how people manage to live life #when im on the verge of kms like every single day even when I'm 'happy'#i just want to die all the time #like thats not great 👍#and unfortunately its hard for other people as well not just me #and i keep getting into these situations when others worry about me and idk what to say like 'dont worry' is a lie. but also like #i dont want them to worry #you see

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strwbrymlkshake · 11 months ago

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who up praying for downfalls 🤨

#mine #yandere #yancore #yandere vent #oh my god have i got some things to say. ooohhuuoouugh buddy #its not even my own situation this isnt even related to me. but im being a nice upstanding young man and venting abt it instead of invoking #the curse of ra. wishing someone dies is such a good coping mechanism fr because instead of thinking about it forever i can move on with #my life. and its great! but oouuuh theres something wrong with that huh. and oh my god. this issue is so fucked but i cant explain it in #a heartfelt and meaningful way. so imagine someone is religiously devoted to a guy and their mental anguish stems from jealousy or fear #of abandonment. and they are internally tormented about that forever. and just because they dont fit your definition of whats right #youre all like Hey you know that guy that means everything to them. how about we take him for ourselves solely bc this person #this suffering person whose life depends on him- who acts like that BECAUSE they are suffering- you think they deserved to be punished for #their traumas? their guilt and pain and anguish? you are no better than whatever you think they are.#i dont think this even makes sense cause im vague on purpose. this sounds like a situation from the bible i think #idk i didnt read it. anyways im skipping and frolicking in my cradle of hatred that fills me with warmth and delight #its not required that people are nice or respectful when their lives have been wretched thanks to people like YOU #but i hope their devotion never wavers due to people who hate their happiness. its not like those people matter anyway #if youre meant to be with your Guy and you love him enough then nothing else matters at that point. its all a test #die a martyr for your own romantic ideologies or whatever satou matsuzaka said #this is literally the equivalent of like. a mother cat adopts a kitten that isnt hers bc her own kin are all dead. she protects this kitten #with her entire life. and her whole being. and hisses growls bites at anyone that comes close to it. and some human teens are like #we should take that kitten solely because the mother cat loves it so much that shes willing to get violent for it.#because its not very niceys of her to harass those who want to take away the only thing she has left! oh noes!!#like shut the fuck up dawg. if that cat mauls someone for getting too close to her baby then mind your own goddamn business #clearly they did not grow up italian 💀#clearly they did not grow up with nothing being their own. nothing being sacred. no desire to protect anything #anyways yanderes i love you. you are fr so easy to be around and you should never change for anyone. i mean maybe take some therapist #advice here and there in case your devotion makes you suffer but OTHERWISE!!! dont feel bad about being a hater!!! protect what is yours #and i will respect it so hard i swear to god. its not that difficult to treat your devotion with the kindness it deserves.#if a disrespectful teen tries to steal your kitten then ill help you beat them to death with a shovel idc

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