#experiencing in that moment
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if we're going to be so real. the source of 90% of my problems is that i get horrifically jealous and I have bpd. but the cool thing is i can also invent reasons to stay upset even if it's only one person upsetting me and he hasn't even interacted with me in a way that would be valid for me to get upset at because i come up with problems that feel worse than they are in reality and in response I stay up until 3am and start spiraling
#because i start trying to explain what's wrong and then typing it out read it back and go#''that's stupid. why am i mad at that'' but the thing is#i AM mad at that and it feels like my life is about to end because of it#a really nice feature of this disorder is i can't maintain memory of emotions#so if something feels bad#my entire life has felt that way.#if im happy ive never been upset in my life#if im angry then i cant understand why i would have ever forgiven anyone#if im in a depressed episode then i can't imagine things ever getting better#which doesn't sound like a big deal i guess but it's caused suicide attempts because i feel like i can never escape the current emotion im#experiencing in that moment#<- mw trying to convince myself im not justified in being as upset as i am but#im afraid it may actually be as bad as i think it is. clasps hands. but whatever#this situation im in currently in my social life is so fucking ass and i just am at a complete loss for what to do and when to stop#and also sorry. this is not about anyone who can read this i promise. i get hyperbolic when i say stuff like#''nobody cares'' bc i know that cant be true
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is this anything
#my art#arcane#viktor#jayce talis#jayvik#what if jayce experienced a theseus' ship moment with machine herald viktor#anyways this was a very self indulgent piece. back to my 3 other viktor drawings (half joking)#jayce is very difficult to draw for me. but he's easier when he's in post-misery form#edit: oh my god i forgot about the scar on jayce's eyebrow and cheek
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I'm just imagining Sevika charging into battle not knowing where her girls are. she hears whispers from the battlefield that Isha is dead and that Jinx is gone. taken. captured. surrendered. she doesn't want to accept either. she almost refuses. and it's in the back of her mind that she has to live so she can find her girls, and at the very least, remember them.
and she almost dies. she thinks that there might not be anyone to remember them. to find them.
and then she doesn't. she doesn't die. and one thing leads to another, and she's on the council. and....
she still doesn't know what happened to them.
and then Vi, the girl who, justifiably, hates her guts, comes back. and the look on her face all She needs to know Jinx is gone. but she can't accept it. she can't.
she demands to know what happened, in a clipped, gruff manner, not displaying much care, but her eyes are teary and her gut is churning.... and Vi just says they're gone.
and all Sevika can do is whisper "... both?"
and she doesn't wait for an answer. the face is enough. "how?".
the answer kills her.
she walks away. murmurs an apology over her shoulder.
she doesn't know what to do with the feeling in her chest. her fingers trace over the carving in her arm.
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#sevika#jinx#isha#sevika arcane#jinx arcane#isha arcane#the were a family and now Sevika's alone#and I think the bittersweet of Vi and Sev. not so kuch getting along. but having that moment.#Sevika knew Jinx longer than Vi did. she filled part of that role in Jinx's life. even if she did so poorly for a majority of the time.#but she didn't get to say goodbye. didn't get to have the closure of being there.#and Vi did. not that that is a good thing. it was horrific. but I think the two of them have experienced enough loss to know that the pain-#makes it easier to understand. seeing it makes it final.#and the two bridging that navey gap for those mere moments eats#snd then they part ways and they grieve#but Vi should deliver that news
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they really mafuyu'ed my mizuki huh
i think about this dialogue from the main story a lot. she knows.
#subtle foreshadowing moment#my comfort character is experiencing the horrors help#mizu5#project sekai#prsk fa#pjsk fanart#prsk#pjsk#proseka#niigo#n25#nightcord at 25:00#25 ji nightcord de#mizuki akiyama#mafuyu asahina
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LOVE IN THE AIR: KOI NO YOKAN (2024) I EP. 4
#love in the air#nagumo shoma#hamaya takuto#arashi x rei#love in the air japan#love in the air koi no yokan#love in the air koi#lita#love in the air the series#lita koi#jdramasource#jdramaedit#userfaiza#userrlaura#uservix#userrlana#rinblr#forfive#and what if i went completely insane - competely BONKERS#the moment in the last gif may be my favorite: rei holding arashi's arm and the little peck arashi gives him STFU!!!!#and i do enjoy a love scene where both characters are fully enjoying themselves - it has to be said#rei's characterization works in this scene also so much better - he's not experienced but he's not clueless about what they're about to do#mywork
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Shen Qingqiu is blowing up the System with his mind rn
[ID: A Scum Villain Comic. First image depicts Shen Qingqiu within the Water Prison, kneeling on the ground with his arms and wrists tied with immortal binding cables. He wears a nervous expression while the System screen next to him with a cheering kaomoji goes "Checking In." to which SQQ reponds "i'm bad". The next image depicts SQQ with now ripped robes holding his tied hands in front of him while Luo Binghe stands facing away from him in the foreground. LBH is holding his hands up to his face with a flustered expression whilst SQQ is looking at his back with a very confused expression and "???" next to him. A caption above them states "One Wife Plot Experience Later..." The final image is in a chibi style. SQQ glares at the system as it says with a smug look "Checking In" to which SQQ responds "i'm doing bad" End ID]
#svsss#scum villain#shen qingqiu#the system#svsss system#luo binghe#bingqiu#mxtx#myart#this is how the whole water prison arc felt to me#sqq was ready to choke the system out for all the shit it was pulling lmao#also feats my fave oblivious sqq moment “why am i experiencing all these wife plots im the villain”#yeah sure sir whatever helps you sleep at night <3#lbh was fighting for his Life when the robes ripped (and he was already having a hard time seeing sqq tied up ngl)#also sqq wearing light colored robes during his widow arc is one of my fave headcanons mostly cause i think he did it untentionally
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I got possessed dude, did a line of flour— some crazy shit anyways… Swampcat
Swampcat, Kremy Lecroux x Morning Frost
They both find each other interesting like anatomy wise, drastically different, some “lemme examine you 🤓☝️”
Kremy slowly blinks and Frost gets flustered… that’s the good shit to me man. Purring, Bellows… I SHOOT THEM TWO WITH MY AMERICAN GUN
#my art#legends of avantris#loa#ouaw#once upon a witchlight#kremy lecroux#morning frost#Kremy x frost#frost x Kremy#Kremy Lecroux x Morning Frost#Morning Frost x Kremy Lecroux#swampcat#ouaw swampcat#swampcat ouaw#I think they slay#they’re apathetic towards eachother leaning on dislike#I dunno I think I’m crazy#I’m being so real— No throwing clothes silly Billy— their foreplay is folding eachother’s clothes cuz that’s A SHOW OF CARE OKAY BRO#I THINK THAT’S SWEET#there’s moment of tenderness and I think that shit goes so hard#freak 4 freak#demi 4 demi#also like— Frost is def more experienced when it comes to the devil’s tango but also I think the juxtaposition of Kremy being “bruh idk#Kremy to me can charm a person and get a free drink but I don’t think ever went past that cuz he never had the desire to#he’s so demi to me#he would definitely be out of his element but liek he’s enthusiastic okay#Kremy is like an onion layered and every time you peel a layer back you get more Kremy and I think that’s the thrill of it#he would be interesting#I’m speaking from an aroace perspective— like how a scientist would see bacteria under a microscope#tw suggestive
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“You Can Just Have It” part 1
Next
a little comic I’m working on that I originally posted to Insta but want to put here too.
#baldur's gate 3#astarion#art#bg3 tav#bg3 fanart#Astarion character moment let’s goo#Astarion out here experiencing kindness for the first time and not understanding it#astarion x tav
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Hey guys I think The Last Unicorn is such a Scott book
#Hate Jimmy's anatomy here. whatever. throws it at you guys anyway before I stress myself into offing myself#quote is from The Last Unicorn ofc!! I drew unicorn scott and then me and my friend went insane about the book + Scott's character#flower husbands#scott smajor fanart#trafficshipping#trafficblr#need to reread that book desperately#so many moments and quotes I remember from it are SO Scott guys. I swear to god#it being a book all about this unicorn who is turned into a human and thus starts experiencing emotion. and flaw and love and and#and the unicorn is stressing but realizes that even if she were turned back into a unicorn. She has already felt. She no longer belongs#And I view Scott's character as tending to deny himself those kinds of feelings as if they were a weakness. As if they'd get in the way#He allowed himself to love and be loved in LL and then never again. Turned around and ostracized Pearl. Sorry going insane#and then ofc this quote made me think of Jimmy. I cannot get into my reasoning here though I will either die or get killed#tubby art
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I think you might have been a father to me, once.
You used to be more than just another man who hurt me in my life.
Reference pic!
#can you imagine coming to terms with the fact that the one who hurt you might have also been a human?#can you imagine even a monster having their good moments? as fleeting as they might have been?#do those moments even matter? they happened- they were real- but they don’t outweight the pain they caused in contrast#DO YOU THINK STANLEY STILL REMEMBERS FILBRICK AS HIS FATHER???#humanizing abusers is such an interesting concept to me#not a fun one- but interesting#it doesn’t rectify or even justify any of the things they’ve done to their victims#it doesn’t change anything at all- it doesn’t necessarily make us feel pity- understanding- or forgiveness towards the abuser#it might even just make us feel worse about them#but it levels the playing field#that despite both victim and abuser being human- the abuser actively chose to act they way they did#no one was forcing them to inflict pain#it was a conscious choice to make another feel less than human- while]st stripping themselves of their humanity at the same time#they chose to be worse than they had to be#they experienced the same joy- pain- love- and hate as the victims. they shared those feeelings and experiences with the victims#they were human#but it doesn’t really change anything#my art#art#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#filbrick pines#stanley pines#gravity falls stanley#stan pines#artists on tumblr
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HE DID THE THING HE DID THE THING
LOVE that it’s Hyrule, YES, absolutely deserved
#linkeduniverse#linked universe#lu hyrule#the OG#I adore that he solved the first puzzle#Both as a “yeah he’s the first game Link we ever played”#And as a “this boy is far more traveled and experienced than he lets on” lore moment
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I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#today was….not good#and at one point i had a moment#where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it#but im still really hopeful it will happen some day#because all i want in this world is to feel secure#and for others to feel secure around me#and for everyone to feel secure around people they love#because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t#but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all#im manifesting it#im completely okay btw things just got a little rough#and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay#im gay and i like sleeping#also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever#im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight
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Just remembered that Satan in the "A World of Our Very Own" devilgram says that he believes he was "born in order to meet MC" and it always sounded incredibly cheesy to me but then I thought about it a little more and--
Originally, Satan was just a small glimmer inside Lucifer's consciousness until Lucifer's wrath reached its peak with Lilith's death which, in turn, resulted in Satan's birth
MC is a direct descendant of Lilith after she was reborn as human
If it weren't for Lilith's death, neither of them would be here
Both of their existences are directly intertwined with one another, so in a way Satan's right
They have always been destined to be a part of each other's lives
#lilith's death is like a looming shadow that both are intrinsically tied together by#and that to this day shapes almost all moments of their lives#it's a shared pain that runs deep#yet neither of them ever actually experienced it for themselves#and yet they're the only ones that can fully understand the suffering it causes the other#i love satan & mc's relationship so mucchhhh#obey me#obey me swd#obey me satan#obey me lucifer#obey me lilith#obey me mc#mel's starry musings
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This morning I woke up thinking about how Tommy checked in with Buck after he kissed him. The ‘was this ok’ is just so tender and uncertain. The underlying worry that he might’ve gone too far. It’s just so…
#yeah it’s everything#so perfectly placed#because Buck could’ve just been trying to get his attention because he wanted to be his friend and if that had been the case#Tommy would’ve put his friendship with Eddie at risk as well#so I love that little moment of uncertainty- Tommy might be more experienced and confident and settled in who he is#but he also took a risk and he wasn’t 100% confident it would pay off#and that has me up in my feels#911 abc#tommy kinard#evan 'buck' buckley#Kinkley#bucktommy
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the way Edwin's immediate reaction upon seeing the misery wraith in the Devlin house is to grab Crystal and cover her mouth, even while he's explaining (apparently calmly) that it hunts by sensing negativity and pain - presumably instead of using sight or sound
and the way that he does the exact same thing to Charles when they're reunited in Hell, but here he urges him specifically to be quiet (in what must be the most barely audible line of dialogue in the whole show) because he's found that's the only way he can get a short reprieve between bouts of torture from the spider thing (to the point that when he ran into Simon earlier he - rather nonsensically - believed the sound of tearing paper behind a closed door was also a big risk)
All I'm saying is, it doesn't look like it was actually all that important he stop Crystal from making noise in the Devlin house, and as much as that scene originally read as Edwin kinda having his shit together while Charles & Crystal were both more affected & then literally incapacitated, his head couldn't have been half as clear as it first seemed if his immediate reaction was reverting to Surviving Hell Tactics even when they weren't really helpful or applicable here
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#the case of the devlin house#im sorry but i was so shocked by the way he just grabs her like that the first time i watched it & crystal clearly is too#but then he goes into his whole 'when i was in hell' thing and we're all like ah ok this is a moment of Hardened & Experienced Edwin#knowing what needs to be done & doing it even if it goes against everyone's usual boundaries with like personal space and such#but then you look at it again and it's like#aw no i see why you did that actually#and it had nothing to do with that being the actual solution to the problem#i'll take The Edwardian Ghost Has Trauma Again for 800 alex
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I think when Arcane shifted the story to focus on one of those world-ending threats it somehow made the world smaller. The relationships became less intimate and more rote to the plot. When we do get strong character moments, the way their actions should reverberate across their network is cut off.
For example, when Jinx chose to set fire to The Last Drop it was a really striking moment for Jinx as she reached rock bottom, but the show fails to grapple with the fact this was also the place Sevika was living and working in. Act 2 of Jinx Fixes Everything revealed that Sevika had been sleeping and working in Silco's office ever since he died, dealing with her own grief that way.
Sevika probably has a home to return to but that isn't the point, the point is Jinx destroyed a place that wasn't just significant to her and members of the main cast, but the larger community that is Zaun. How does Sevika react? How does she still choose to work with Jinx after this moment? What about the other members of Silco's gang that followed Sevika into battle? The Last Drop was a part of a lot of people's lives, and Sevika is emblematic of that deep attachment, but we can't see her grieve it's destruction because there's no space for it in the show.
#arcane#jinx arcane#arcane meta#sevika#s2 had a good moment where there was a real moment we could see sevika and jinx grieve together#Jinx's world became just a little bigger as there was another person in grief like her bcuz it really wasn’t just her and silco#it wasn’t just jinx and the ghosts that haunt her#there was a real world that hurt and bled around her just like she did#and when the show lost focus of zaun it's like only 3 people actually existed there#and all their struggles became so lonely bcuz it's like no one else around them felt or experienced the events around them#zaun became a shallower world#srsly The Last Drop burning down is the zaunite equivalent of the Going Merry going up in smoke and it's not like OP just watched Luffy cry#everyone was distraught bcuz Going Merry was important to the whole crew#arcane spoilers
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