#experiencing in that moment
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
if we're going to be so real. the source of 90% of my problems is that i get horrifically jealous and I have bpd. but the cool thing is i can also invent reasons to stay upset even if it's only one person upsetting me and he hasn't even interacted with me in a way that would be valid for me to get upset at because i come up with problems that feel worse than they are in reality and in response I stay up until 3am and start spiraling
#because i start trying to explain what's wrong and then typing it out read it back and go#''that's stupid. why am i mad at that'' but the thing is#i AM mad at that and it feels like my life is about to end because of it#a really nice feature of this disorder is i can't maintain memory of emotions#so if something feels bad#my entire life has felt that way.#if im happy ive never been upset in my life#if im angry then i cant understand why i would have ever forgiven anyone#if im in a depressed episode then i can't imagine things ever getting better#which doesn't sound like a big deal i guess but it's caused suicide attempts because i feel like i can never escape the current emotion im#experiencing in that moment#<- mw trying to convince myself im not justified in being as upset as i am but#im afraid it may actually be as bad as i think it is. clasps hands. but whatever#this situation im in currently in my social life is so fucking ass and i just am at a complete loss for what to do and when to stop#and also sorry. this is not about anyone who can read this i promise. i get hyperbolic when i say stuff like#''nobody cares'' bc i know that cant be true
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
is this anything
#my art#arcane#viktor#jayce talis#jayvik#what if jayce experienced a theseus' ship moment with machine herald viktor#anyways this was a very self indulgent piece. back to my 3 other viktor drawings (half joking)#jayce is very difficult to draw for me. but he's easier when he's in post-misery form#edit: oh my god i forgot about the scar on jayce's eyebrow and cheek
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
welcome to the world
#crowcraft#dc#kon el#superboy#so many ideas for the tube exit#I KNOW this isn’t how it happened but let me have this. I have things I think about and art is how I get them out before they eat me#this one’s about the moments of dazed confusion. he’d never even felt AIR before do you ever think about that. I think about that all the t#how strange would it be to Know so many things without having experienced them#the few seconds of disconnect here. his brain is firing all his knowledge and a startup ‘hello world’ sequence#but he’s never FELT. ANYTHING before#conner kent#so many strange sensations before it clicks as a ‘huh. so this is air. this is breathing this is thinking this is seeing hearing smelling-‘#ETC. sure babies do this but babies can’t remember shit#IDKK. I JUST THINK AHOUT IT A LOT
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
they really mafuyu'ed my mizuki huh
i think about this dialogue from the main story a lot. she knows.
#subtle foreshadowing moment#my comfort character is experiencing the horrors help#mizu5#project sekai#prsk fa#pjsk fanart#prsk#pjsk#proseka#niigo#n25#nightcord at 25:00#25 ji nightcord de#mizuki akiyama#mafuyu asahina
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm just imagining Sevika charging into battle not knowing where her girls are. she hears whispers from the battlefield that Isha is dead and that Jinx is gone. taken. captured. surrendered. she doesn't want to accept either. she almost refuses. and it's in the back of her mind that she has to live so she can find her girls, and at the very least, remember them.
and she almost dies. she thinks that there might not be anyone to remember them. to find them.
and then she doesn't. she doesn't die. and one thing leads to another, and she's on the council. and....
she still doesn't know what happened to them.
and then Vi, the girl who, justifiably, hates her guts, comes back. and the look on her face all She needs to know Jinx is gone. but she can't accept it. she can't.
she demands to know what happened, in a clipped, gruff manner, not displaying much care, but her eyes are teary and her gut is churning.... and Vi just says they're gone.
and all Sevika can do is whisper "... both?"
and she doesn't wait for an answer. the face is enough. "how?".
the answer kills her.
she walks away. murmurs an apology over her shoulder.
she doesn't know what to do with the feeling in her chest. her fingers trace over the carving in her arm.
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#sevika#jinx#isha#sevika arcane#jinx arcane#isha arcane#the were a family and now Sevika's alone#and I think the bittersweet of Vi and Sev. not so kuch getting along. but having that moment.#Sevika knew Jinx longer than Vi did. she filled part of that role in Jinx's life. even if she did so poorly for a majority of the time.#but she didn't get to say goodbye. didn't get to have the closure of being there.#and Vi did. not that that is a good thing. it was horrific. but I think the two of them have experienced enough loss to know that the pain-#makes it easier to understand. seeing it makes it final.#and the two bridging that navey gap for those mere moments eats#snd then they part ways and they grieve#but Vi should deliver that news
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
LOVE IN THE AIR: KOI NO YOKAN (2024) I EP. 4
#love in the air#nagumo shoma#hamaya takuto#arashi x rei#love in the air japan#love in the air koi no yokan#love in the air koi#lita#love in the air the series#lita koi#jdramasource#jdramaedit#userfaiza#userrlaura#uservix#userrlana#rinblr#forfive#and what if i went completely insane - competely BONKERS#the moment in the last gif may be my favorite: rei holding arashi's arm and the little peck arashi gives him STFU!!!!#and i do enjoy a love scene where both characters are fully enjoying themselves - it has to be said#rei's characterization works in this scene also so much better - he's not experienced but he's not clueless about what they're about to do#mywork
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Shen Qingqiu is blowing up the System with his mind rn
[ID: A Scum Villain Comic. First image depicts Shen Qingqiu within the Water Prison, kneeling on the ground with his arms and wrists tied with immortal binding cables. He wears a nervous expression while the System screen next to him with a cheering kaomoji goes "Checking In." to which SQQ reponds "i'm bad". The next image depicts SQQ with now ripped robes holding his tied hands in front of him while Luo Binghe stands facing away from him in the foreground. LBH is holding his hands up to his face with a flustered expression whilst SQQ is looking at his back with a very confused expression and "???" next to him. A caption above them states "One Wife Plot Experience Later..." The final image is in a chibi style. SQQ glares at the system as it says with a smug look "Checking In" to which SQQ responds "i'm doing bad" End ID]
#svsss#scum villain#shen qingqiu#the system#svsss system#luo binghe#bingqiu#mxtx#myart#this is how the whole water prison arc felt to me#sqq was ready to choke the system out for all the shit it was pulling lmao#also feats my fave oblivious sqq moment “why am i experiencing all these wife plots im the villain”#yeah sure sir whatever helps you sleep at night <3#lbh was fighting for his Life when the robes ripped (and he was already having a hard time seeing sqq tied up ngl)#also sqq wearing light colored robes during his widow arc is one of my fave headcanons mostly cause i think he did it untentionally
515 notes
·
View notes
Text
I got possessed dude, did a line of flour— some crazy shit anyways… Swampcat
Swampcat, Kremy Lecroux x Morning Frost
They both find each other interesting like anatomy wise, drastically different, some “lemme examine you 🤓☝️”
Kremy slowly blinks and Frost gets flustered… that’s the good shit to me man. Purring, Bellows… I SHOOT THEM TWO WITH MY AMERICAN GUN
#my art#legends of avantris#loa#ouaw#once upon a witchlight#kremy lecroux#morning frost#Kremy x frost#frost x Kremy#Kremy Lecroux x Morning Frost#Morning Frost x Kremy Lecroux#swampcat#ouaw swampcat#swampcat ouaw#I think they slay#they’re apathetic towards eachother leaning on dislike#I dunno I think I’m crazy#I’m being so real— No throwing clothes silly Billy— their foreplay is folding eachother’s clothes cuz that’s A SHOW OF CARE OKAY BRO#I THINK THAT’S SWEET#there’s moment of tenderness and I think that shit goes so hard#freak 4 freak#demi 4 demi#also like— Frost is def more experienced when it comes to the devil’s tango but also I think the juxtaposition of Kremy being “bruh idk#Kremy to me can charm a person and get a free drink but I don’t think ever went past that cuz he never had the desire to#he’s so demi to me#he would definitely be out of his element but liek he’s enthusiastic okay#Kremy is like an onion layered and every time you peel a layer back you get more Kremy and I think that’s the thrill of it#he would be interesting#I’m speaking from an aroace perspective— like how a scientist would see bacteria under a microscope#tw suggestive
595 notes
·
View notes
Text
“You Can Just Have It” part 1
Next
a little comic I’m working on that I originally posted to Insta but want to put here too.
#baldur's gate 3#astarion#art#bg3 tav#bg3 fanart#Astarion character moment let’s goo#Astarion out here experiencing kindness for the first time and not understanding it#astarion x tav
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey guys I think The Last Unicorn is such a Scott book
#Hate Jimmy's anatomy here. whatever. throws it at you guys anyway before I stress myself into offing myself#quote is from The Last Unicorn ofc!! I drew unicorn scott and then me and my friend went insane about the book + Scott's character#flower husbands#scott smajor fanart#trafficshipping#trafficblr#need to reread that book desperately#so many moments and quotes I remember from it are SO Scott guys. I swear to god#it being a book all about this unicorn who is turned into a human and thus starts experiencing emotion. and flaw and love and and#and the unicorn is stressing but realizes that even if she were turned back into a unicorn. She has already felt. She no longer belongs#And I view Scott's character as tending to deny himself those kinds of feelings as if they were a weakness. As if they'd get in the way#He allowed himself to love and be loved in LL and then never again. Turned around and ostracized Pearl. Sorry going insane#and then ofc this quote made me think of Jimmy. I cannot get into my reasoning here though I will either die or get killed#tubby art
872 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think you might have been a father to me, once.
You used to be more than just another man who hurt me in my life.
Reference pic!
#can you imagine coming to terms with the fact that the one who hurt you might have also been a human?#can you imagine even a monster having their good moments? as fleeting as they might have been?#do those moments even matter? they happened- they were real- but they don’t outweight the pain they caused in contrast#DO YOU THINK STANLEY STILL REMEMBERS FILBRICK AS HIS FATHER???#humanizing abusers is such an interesting concept to me#not a fun one- but interesting#it doesn’t rectify or even justify any of the things they’ve done to their victims#it doesn’t change anything at all- it doesn’t necessarily make us feel pity- understanding- or forgiveness towards the abuser#it might even just make us feel worse about them#but it levels the playing field#that despite both victim and abuser being human- the abuser actively chose to act they way they did#no one was forcing them to inflict pain#it was a conscious choice to make another feel less than human- while]st stripping themselves of their humanity at the same time#they chose to be worse than they had to be#they experienced the same joy- pain- love- and hate as the victims. they shared those feeelings and experiences with the victims#they were human#but it doesn’t really change anything#my art#art#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#filbrick pines#stanley pines#gravity falls stanley#stan pines#artists on tumblr
341 notes
·
View notes
Text
HE DID THE THING HE DID THE THING
LOVE that it’s Hyrule, YES, absolutely deserved
#linkeduniverse#linked universe#lu hyrule#the OG#I adore that he solved the first puzzle#Both as a “yeah he’s the first game Link we ever played”#And as a “this boy is far more traveled and experienced than he lets on” lore moment
509 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's something so wondrously momentous about Style only saying his "I love you" now, when he realises that all the secrets he was keeping from Fadel are already laid bare.
He says this a significant time after Fadel has said his (and, in the context of the wider narrative, after Kant and Bison) and for the character we have seen as prone to glibness, exaggeration and flippancy with his words, that feels incredibly intentional.
Because this confession was the only truth Style had left to give.
Fadel is finally done playing his (poorly thought out) game, done with his (already cracking at the seams) charade, done with giving Style more opportunities to pull at his heartstrings with his earnestness lies.
Fadel is demanding the truth, and tells Style exactly what truth he wants to hear.
And the thing is, there is truth in this: Style's motivations at the start were wrapped up in a deception specifically targeting Fadel.
I know we, as a fandom, harp on about Style "doing all that for a car", but something I would like us all to revisit is what Kant actually says to Style when he first asks Style to "hit on" Fadel:
Kant: You need to help me. You know I don't usually feel this way about someone. And then shortly later, after Style refuses: Kant: Hey, hold on. (Kant grabs Style's hand.) What do I have to do to for you to help me out? Should I pay you?
(Please forgive my inability to gif and watch Style's reaction to this.) Style is visibly surprised and intrigued. Kant seems to be serious about this request, and I think Style decides to test just how important it is to Kant by asking for the one thing he knows Kant will not give up.
Just look the expressions on Style's face. We didn't have the context of knowing Style back then as well as we do now, but this is the look Style gets when he's throwing out a challenge (to Fadel), when he's trying to ferret out some new insight (from Fadel), when he wants to see how someone (Fadel) will react to whatever outlandish (provocative) thing he's said or done.
And when Kant agrees, Style even checks again if Kant is serious about going through with it -- and it's this that convinces Style of the sincerity of Kant's request.
Yes, the car was a factor, and yes Style also wanted revenge and to humble Fadel, but at the centre of Style's motivation has always been a plea for help from a friend.
In episode 1: Kant: Under one condition. You have to make him head over heels in love with you. Style: I'll do it. Not just for the car, but someone like him needs to be humbled by someone like me.
But in agreeing to help Kant, Style really was damning Fadel to play the fool because Fadel's feelings (his heart) was a commodity that Style was fully willing to play with back then.
And there are aspects of truth here too. When Kant tells Style about Fadel (and Bison) being hitmen, Style decides he's done and wants out. Kant reasons that it's more dangerous for Style to break up with Fadel now, because it would look suspicious, but crucially this isn't enough to convince Style.
So Kant, once again, makes the plea to friendship and to his need for Style specifically, and it is this that causes Style to finally cave.
But in doing so, the things that Style agrees to are:
Kant: Work with me. Help me get more information about them. Once we get that, it's done. Captain puts them in jail, and we walk free.
So while Style may not be directly working with the police, he is working with Kant who he knows is working with the police. By proxy, Style is involved with the police, but in front of the empty pool, he makes it clear to Fadel just what that involvement actually entailed:
Style: Kant asked me to take you out so you could leave him alone and he could freely investigate. Fadel: What did he get out of it? Style: I don't know! That ain't my business! All I was asked of is to take you out.
And this, too, actually is true! Since finding out, Style has literally not discovered a single thing that could be remotely useful to the police investigation:
He's found out that Fadel likes to gym at night. He's found out that Fadel uses tenderloin in his burgers. That he runs in the morning before going to the market. That he attends a grief support group.
But these were all things Kant also already knew and could have given the police if it were in any way useful for the investigation.
Even his attempts to get Fadel to confess to his "other job" (something the police also already know) were clearly in service of wanting to save Fadel and/or convince him to give up the life of crime in the hopes that Fadel wouldn't have to be sent away from Style to prison.
But the truths are tangled up in misunderstandings and Fadel's own assumptions now; and also further tainted again by Bison's own hurt over Kant's betrayal. And Fadel literally cannot see -- because his eyes are filled with tears [see: @thisautistic's gifset + my tags] (good grief, Joong, the actor you are) -- the honesty Style is bleeding from the marrow of his bones.
Because the truth is that along the way Style has also found out that Fadel is a good older brother. That Fadel is still hurting and bleeding inside because his parents were murdered. That Fadel wears his favourite bands' make up in secret because he cannot bear the thought of other's judgement. He's found out that Fadel misses Style, wants Style, and hates himself for it. That Fadel is afraid to love. That Fadel is acutely aware of his own darkness and cannot comprehend an existence that would not involve someone (Style) rejecting it. That Fadel does not believe that 100% trust is possible, but that he will get himself drunk so that he can offer Style as much vulnerability as he can physically make himself give.
Because the things that Style did find out were all the ways Fadel's heart is soft and tender and precious and worthy worthy worthy of all the love Style has to give.
And Style will stand firm on this truth because this is the only thing he has left to give Fadel.
Because Fadel knows, now, all the ways Style was unworthy of his trust, but crucially has not figured out the most important truth:
Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. -- Quoted from my meta post on the "One day, I'll be your 100%" line.
And as I alluded to in the tags on @yinwaring's insightful post: Style fully embodies the belief he espouses; because even in the face of a gun to his head and Fadel threatening to kill him if he will not admit that this, too, is a lie, Style refuses to give Fadel anymore dishonesty.
And this is because Style knows that the truth matters; now more than ever.
Because Style has had days to grapple with his worry after Fadel's disappearance. Style has had a week's worth of checking the diner only to face the regret he feels about not handling things differently. Style has had to recognise the terror of thinking he had lost something he never even knew he wanted in the first place.
And while Fadel had his realisation back in episode 4, Style never had to face this until Fadel vanished from his life and left a gaping hole in the shape of the absence of Fadel's smile.
So if this is what it takes, if this is the penance that Fadel demands of him, then it is a price Style is most happy to pay.
Because Fadel does not realise is that Style, too, now knows what it means to lose a love worth fighting for.
And in the war Fadel now feels compelled to wage against Style (because, yes, that's definitely still going on), the one damning thing Fadel has failed to recognised is that his only true weapon was leaving Style behind.
Which is why Style has already won. Not because Fadel's walls have crumpled again or because they don't still have a ton of things to talk through and work out (they really, really do), but because Style has already been stripped bare (and I mean this literally, like we all recognise THAT was the reason why Dunk is only in boxer shorts in that scene, right?? Like, I know we were joking about it, but seriously, that was so very intentional and a visual representation of Style being both stripped and, most importantly, freed from the lies he felt compelled to tell Fadel) and this means he has nothing holding him back.
And Fadel can wield his gun and his words and his anger and his hurt, but Style will die on the hill of the truth that he knew and understood and chose to love Fadel anyway, and saved this last confession for when he knew he could tell Fadel the truth without any lingering deception; and when the time is right, when Fadel is finally ready, Style will be there to welcome him back with open arms and, without any hesitation, an open heart.
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thk ep 7#fadelstyle#stylefadel#fadel#style sattawat#thk meta#fadelstyle meta#style sattawat meta#joongdunk#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#i know everyone is probably so sick of me saying this but style is so utterly earnest and honest and GUILELESS and i adore him so much#and i know episode 7 was sad in many ways but it left me honestly feeling so TRIUMPHANT because style is finally FREE!!#he's free of the last obligation to the promise he made to kant#he's free from the guilt of lying to fadel and actively doing nothing to protect the man he was learning to care for#he's finally finally free to love fadel; simply and truthfully and earnestly and with his whole entire heart#and it will be like nothing fadel's fragile heart has ever experienced and everything he never knew he could have#and i am SO SO SO fucking EXCITED for that!!!!#// ALSO can we talk about how CLEARLY dunk makes the distinction between when style is being earnest and when he's intentionally#being playful/glib/exaggerating something??#like its so drastically different and idk i really appreciate how obvious it is because when he dials it down it feels very very real#like i don't just mean “quiet” because style is loud when he's explaining himself at gunpoint#but he's very honest in every single moment in this scene and i feel like that really comes through
252 notes
·
View notes
Text
Leverage 4x11- "The Experimental Job"
#christian kane#leverage#eliot spencer#stoney westmoreland#the experimental job#normally i'd break this up into smaller gif sets but... this needs to be experienced all at once#can we get some more eliot reverse uno card torture moments pleeease?
246 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#today was….not good#and at one point i had a moment#where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it#but im still really hopeful it will happen some day#because all i want in this world is to feel secure#and for others to feel secure around me#and for everyone to feel secure around people they love#because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t#but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all#im manifesting it#im completely okay btw things just got a little rough#and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay#im gay and i like sleeping#also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever#im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Just remembered that Satan in the "A World of Our Very Own" devilgram says that he believes he was "born in order to meet MC" and it always sounded incredibly cheesy to me but then I thought about it a little more and--
Originally, Satan was just a small glimmer inside Lucifer's consciousness until Lucifer's wrath reached its peak with Lilith's death which, in turn, resulted in Satan's birth
MC is a direct descendant of Lilith after she was reborn as human
If it weren't for Lilith's death, neither of them would be here
Both of their existences are directly intertwined with one another, so in a way Satan's right
They have always been destined to be a part of each other's lives
#lilith's death is like a looming shadow that both are intrinsically tied together by#and that to this day shapes almost all moments of their lives#it's a shared pain that runs deep#yet neither of them ever actually experienced it for themselves#and yet they're the only ones that can fully understand the suffering it causes the other#i love satan & mc's relationship so mucchhhh#obey me#obey me swd#obey me satan#obey me lucifer#obey me lilith#obey me mc#mel's starry musings
3K notes
·
View notes