#and not move or think or breathe
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Nothing makes me wanna go back on Adderall more than trying and failing for days to do a simple task that I know someone is depending on me for, and then having to explain to them that I haven't done it because my brain is just broken in the most difficult to explain and inconvenient way and the more disappointed they are the higher the roadblock in my head becomes. And yes a daily dose of essentially legal meth will make my brain work correctly but it also destroyed my ability to consume food or string a coherent thought together so.
#idk what to do I just wanna curl up and cry tbh#I know I'm in the wrong here and I know#it would be easy to just#do a thing I said I'd do#but I just#can't#I only have like 5 things on my plate rn#but every one of them feels insurmountable#and leaves me utterly exhausted upon completion#and I know I'm not being lazy#I know there is something WRONG with me#I just dunno how to fix it#or even if it can be#I wish I could stay in my bed in my room#and not move or think or breathe#for like a month#acornwoes
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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Normal boy spotted.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen wing#wen remnants#Wen ning#This scene felt like a bit of a fever dream. We have (with little to no comedic exaggeration):#1) WWX whistling and somehow summoning not one but several horses to his side.#2) meeting the surviving Wen sect members who insist on not leaving Wen Ning behind.#Only for it to cut back to Wen Ning ripping a guy in half. (Not pictured here. I tried so hard but I could not make it look good).#Personally I feel like we moved on way too fast from the horse thing. Where did they come from? WWX couldn't have brought them.#He *just* found out there were more people left behind.#So...are the from the Jing sect? Are these disloyal horses? Or does WWX have incredible animal charisma skills?#It feels a bit like a DND player asked to call in some horses and the DM said 'Sure if you roll well enough' and it was a natural 20.#Maybe this is just my own envy cutting through. God damn I wish I could whistle and summon a horse to my side whenever I needed to.#I know I should not be so hung up on the horses. But my brain is cooked. I have been so sick.#The kind of sickness that makes it hard to breathe. Or think. Or have any energy at all.#I wish I had good commentary to write here. I just...really want a nap. And for October to restart to make up for all the lost time.#Thank you all for being so kind and patient once again. It truly means a lot.
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It's always, like, mildly annoying when people see a het trans couple and go "all that work just to be straight?" like... one, you don't know if they're straight and two, trans people don't owe you a queer sexuality to "make up" for the fact we're trans. Transhet people aren't a subtype of trans people, they're members of the trans community, and the queer one if they so desire!
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#and i don't really vibe with the word microaggression but it's very that#like it just comes across like people think trans folks owe them queerness and cabaret preformances y'know?#and we cannot *be* if it means the way we are being isn't this carefully curated version people have of transness + queerness#and it can kind of warp your desires and understanding of yourself because you *want* community and to be seen and to be allowed to just be#this isn't universal and the 'you' is impersonal. i am aware this is a broad range of experiences and not everybody can/does relate#my overall point is that it's probably not the best move to act like this toward trans people#maybe i read too much into this but it's just something i have seen over and over and over and over . . . again#shoutout to the real ones (heterosexual and/or straight trans people or people in straight-presenting relationships 👍)#back to playing the lelda of zelda (is it bad that i don't even call her zelda anymore i just go 'THERES LELDA!!!')#it sounds wrong to call her zelda now 😭#the LEG OF ZEG. SWORD SKORD???? BREATH OF THE WEATH!! -my brain 24/7/365
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Agumon
Digimon Adventure OVA (1999)
#digimon#digimon adventure ova#digimon 1999#digimon adventure#agumon#the menace#hikari yagami#kari kamiya#digimon the movie#my own post#aesthetic#art#anime#2000s internet#gif#my gif#gifset#i think the english name for Agumons signature move is 'pepper breath'?#however in the latam dub it is “flama bebe” which translates to “baby flame#I loooove the animation of the attacks!!!
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young bold and hungry, making my case for giving franco colapinto a 2025 seat
#franco colapinto#the muse...it took over...it said gimme colapinto content....#i'm so moved by him like regardless of how the rest of the season goes i think he's just been so remarkable in the last what 3 months?#what a breath of fresh air in this sport like I don't think we even realised how much everything had been so stagnant the last year#i like the energy he's bringing and he's just so goddamn likeable and cute as a button#may we continue colapinting in the next season#nadia's things
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I like to think that Curly and Jimmy had parallel lives on earth.
That Curly was an only child and his parents died shortly after he became a captain. They got to see his biggest accomplishment but he had no one to really celebrate it with after. Jimmy has siblings and his parents and they didn’t care when he got the co-pilot job cause he’s just the back up. Sure they’re happy for him but no reason to celebrate.
They could both barely afford rent. That’s how it is that late in capitalism and the world the live. The difference is Curly could down size, Jimmy would end up down on the curb. Jimmy had flings and Curly had partners. Both fleeting but Curly pulled away and they left Jimmy.
I like to think they lived parallel to each other in a way they both noticed. Curly felt a kinship and Jimmy felt resentful. Curly worked to make a good deal with what he had and Jimmy scorned his dealt cards and wanted the hand he thought Curly had made.
#this is like purely headcanons#I like to think where Jimmy sees Curly as being ungrateful and undeserving for what he has#he misses all the reasons why Curly may be unhappy or dissatisfied or stressed#Curly gets patted on the back and lorded by superiors not knowing they grip his shoulder and breath down his back#Curly gets a nice promotion and is stuck with a company that would send him on a death mission for mouthwash time and time again#Curly gets to steer the ship and he sits bored imagining all the fun the captains having while Curly is painfully aware one wrong move and#they all die. Jimmy says his friend is living the life and Curly can’t see the life he’s lived#but he smiles anyway cause hey atleast hes got a good friend in it…#this is not to be taken as ship I just think they have a codependent relationship based on Curly having this fear of change and acute#loneliness that Jimmy doesn’t take seriously but does take advantage of cause he’s lonely in a parallel way#like I think a big point in the game is that Curly is too good a friend and colleague to Jimmy n not enough of a friend and Captain tz#to Anya but also that Jimmy is an awful friend to him before hand and he takes it cause he has like this mindset#I hate them together but they won’t let go of each other but at different times#mouthwashing#Mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#jimmy mouthwashing
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Finally I draw the flipside of the scary adventuring duo that is estinien and zenos. aka one man using the other as a third eye blindfold and the other being absolutely dead to the world because cozy (until he overheats in two hours and is unable to escape).
#ffxiv#sketch#zenos yae galvus#estinien wyrmblood#adventurer zenos#i was drawing this with the thought of estinien making a squeaky toy noise if zenos moves#which- in reality he never does cause even in game zenos is a fuckin statue when he sleeps- i almost imagine him being frighteningly still#also just the thought that zenos just sleeps better/the final days dreams are dulled if he's focusing on#something like his companions' heart beating or their breathing#just something that distracts him from thinking about it#is he usually weird about it? probably#but him and estinien are just the duo of idgaf#look estinien indulges in this for him because adventurer!zenos indulges is his squid/monster food obsession#(this is just also spawning from the HS manga being one of the original reasons I started writing this duo anyways LOL)#theyre also stupid(affectionate) because they never keep watch when traveling#zenos will always be right next to the opening of the tent#gae bolg is always arms length from estinien#i imagine even around the scions these two will hunker down at whatever entrance or point of interest there is and just knock tf out#one shoots lazers and the other is a bladed missile on legs they are simply just not concerned
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#self care#self love#mental health#body care#self healing#adult self care#self esteem#move forward#note to self#positive life#positive reminders#recovery#positive thinking#strong#let go#life suggestions#mental heath support#self care suggestions#healing#foward#dont forget#learning#inspiring quotes#breathe#mindset#body image#be yourself#patience#one day at a time#mental wellbeing
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Im not even sure if fucking is enough I think I need mr crawling to drag me down an endless hallway by the ankle for 8-9 hours. not violently just like in a gentle way
#homicipher#mr crawling#i think it would feel similar to falling asleep in the back of a moving truck#you know. or I need to be in a situation where I am tucked in bed and he is on top of me breathing for like 30 hours#and im fading between sleeping and waking in a bleary confused way but mr crawling is there so i can go back to sleep in comfort#and hes heavy and warm#or id like to be squashed into a small dark closet with him for hours#you guys get it. you get me.
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❤️💛
#soft poolverine my beloved#I contain multitudes as far as trope enjoying goes (Logan likes Wade's yapping AND Logan likes to shut Wade up the old fashioned way)#(aka sticking his tongue down his throat)#(among other things but we're sticking with that for this one lol)#Wade is yapping about something#anything really because he can monologue about anything under the sun#and Logan just reaches over wordlessly and grabs his face and Wade just KEEPS TALKING#and every time Logan comes up for air Wade just starts up again#and Logan just smirks and takes a deep breath and goes back in#he gets some silence for a moment AND gets to feel that endless energy fizzing on his tongue#as Wade focuses his nervous mental energy on exploring Logan's mouth for a bit#you know they are SLOPPY kissers#just drool and teeth and tongues EVERYWHERE#I bet kissing Wade is interesting too because his tongue and lips are all ridged and scarred#anyway I just think Logan would shut him up once in a while for like hours long makeout sessions#and then peacefully go back to listening to him yammer endlessly about the minutiae of the My Little Pony Extended Universe#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool#kinda wip?#are any of these ever really FINISHED or do I just give up on them and move on 🫠#also dont get me wrong they def fuck nasty too#but I think Logan “Touch Starved As Fuck” Howlett would really revel in just being able to touch him lazily for hours#idk man I'm too far gone I need to be anaesthetized#deadpool & wolverine#deadclaws#wade wilson#poolverine fanart#deadpool x wolverine
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ok idea. what if we gave stories a free pass for one or two plot holes. "this story thread had a big hole in it" ok good to know, that must not be the main point of the story since it's got plot holes. they must have put their attention on what they thought was the important part. time to look closer at the other parts
#uhhh idk how to explain this idea right#but like....i think stories should be allowed to have mistakes. for a treat#it's like in tv shows when they had to save the budget for the final so there's reused costumes for los stake episodes#can't think of a single story thats perfect. wouldn't change anything. literally can't make a story with no flaws#sometimes the easy way around the flaw is just 'you gotta ignore that. that's not the point of the story.'#i feel like some stuff if you try and stop to explain it...it will change the focus of the story. suddenly it's a new story#like inception. entering and creating dreams is just a thing. the story just uses it. stop to explain how or why and that's something else#there wouldn't be space for the og story itd be a story about the creation of this thing#and like. listen. there are definitely some big plot holes. some poorly written stories. not saying bad stories are just misunderstood#but idk. i think you gotta stop wanting it to be flawless. that's never gonna happen#idk it's midnight hm#text#august rambles#also i tried to move a tag and it didn't work. so if the order of things doesn't make sense that's why#critical analysis hater spotted eek!#no but actually. i do like picking apart problems in stories and figuring out why it feels wrong or how to fix it#but it's almost like you gotta pick your battles. you only get to fix a few#or like. if the story is fine except for this one thing. we just don't look at that#the holes are giving it room to breathe#i gotta stop talking yikes
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AsaKiku bonus to this post... their fight together is one of my fav scenes in HetaOni
#hetalia#hetaoni#asakiku#hws england#hws japan#personal#making a separate post for this one bc i wanted to keep the other one gen/ship free but also i had to. it's too fitting lol#they straight up talk about their powers being twice as strong with the link... they even get an 'island country' combo move 🥺#the music in this part goes so hard also. far too many favorite moments in hetaoni but gameplay wise especially this one is soo much fun#while i'm talking about hetaoni and asakiku in the same post shout out to the fic 'don't forget to breathe' by apple_fairy#hurts so bad but it's soo good 😭😭😭 tense and painful throughout but the horrors make the sweet moments shine brighter#ooughhh ive been thinking about hetaoni all day bc of my hetaoniversary and i'm feeling unwell about it again. fangame of all time
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As much as I enjoy picking apart and having Emotions TM about Little's many low points - his failures and the indignities he suffers at the hands of fate and his fellow man - that darkness just can't hit the same unless you consider the light too (and I think many out there do fail to consider that light).
He isn't compelling to me just by how many times he gets knocked down, he's compelling for the fact that he gets back up again.
#I've said it 1000 times before but it always bears repeating - if ever there was an explorer made of hope it's Little#He's always moving forward - hoping and trying at every turn to do what he thinks is right despite it all#(And to be clear I'm not saying that he always succeeds or that he always does the right thing)#(Doing what he thinks it right is not always the same as doing what is right objectively)#I dunno#It does just chap my nips sometimes to see that side of him willfully ignored when there's so much more nuance to be found#'sad weak wet paper bag of a man who can't do anything right and folds at the slightest provocation'#LIKE NO#He takes everything life can throw at him and he keeps moving the fuck forward - fighting against impossible odds until his final breath#He's the very last of nearly 130 men left standing ffs if that's not strength I don't know what is!#Ok rant over I'm normal now#The Terror#The Terror AMC#Edward Little
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Whatevwer. Vent art be upon ye. Don't read the tags unless you want to hear about what sparked this.
#vent#been thinking again about my younger self who wasn't suicidal and didnt have nearly as much trouble with doing Anything despite the fact#that he was going through like twice as much as i am right now and so whenever i think about him asking if it gets “better”. that's so hard#to answer. did the circumstances get better? yes. but for some reason it's harder to get out of bed . it's harder to remember things and#harder to move my body and harder to Breathe and harder to convince myself to keep living. even thouvb my circumstances are so much better#did it get better? i don't know . i don't Know#maybe it just got better and i just got weaker#i don't know.#andiv3r draws
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clawing out of my uni hell cave........what are some fun slytherin skittles all living in the same house (greys anatomy MAGIC style) headcanons or scenarios. i'm thinking barty just uses everyone's toothbrush nd evan has shared custody over his dress shirts with dorcas
#i put greys on the bg as i work#i just think they should all move into grimmauld after reg's parents kick the bucket#barty in the shower washing his junk and dorcas will just slam open the cubicle door asking if he ate all the fucking apricot yogurt again#like 'fuck you barty you dont even like that shit you're just mad that--'#pandora is putting all sorts of thrift store finds as decoration around the house. most of them being cursed objects#pandora and dorcas chilling in bed with reg zonked out between them most nights#every1 has their own bedrooms but it doesnt hold them back from crawling into each other's#dorcas has the satin sheets and is no longer surprised when she wakes up to evan breathing down her neck in the middle of the night#i know they got the most expensive taste
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