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tobiasdrake · 4 days ago

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Digimon Adventure: Our War Game, Part 1 of 2

Previously on Digimon Adventure: Eight children were kidnapped by an isekai and made to fight the embodiment of sore losers. Well, seven, but they swung by Earth to kidnap a spare while they were at it. After stopping a supernova from obliterating the universe through the power of self-esteem, they all said tearful goodbyes to their Digimon and returned home.

Now the gate between worlds is closed. But the thing about gates is that once shut, they can always open again....

Or you can just hop the fence. Y'know. It's a gate, not a door. The critical weakness gates have is that there's a sky above them.

Incidentally, the dub of this film is... complicated. Dub team cut the original OVA meant to start the series, Our War Game, and the first 02 movie together into "Digimon: The Movie". So for the dub portion, we're going to be looking at the middle chunk of a larger movie that actually isn't a movie because they just hot-glued three unrelated specials together back-to-back.

We open on Odaiba, late at night. Specifically, Taichi's apartment building. A giant swirling sphere made of smoke appears in the sky, with black tendrils writhing in and out of it. Y'know, the sort of thing you generally want to see in the sky. That seems fine.

Then it cracks open like a fucking egg and we move right along to next day.

While Sora passes by the building and stops to look at it, Taichi kicks us off with some of the most stilted letter-by-letter dialogue I've ever heard.

Taichi: To So Ra. Sob Ry For The O Ther Day. Cheer Up. Ya Ga Mi Ta I Chi--huh?

Moving into a sort of office room we haven't seen before, we see that he's trying to type at his computer and doing a poor job of it. In his defense, Japanese keyboards are hard.

But in his offense, he's visibly hunt-and-peck finger-typing, where you just stare at the keyboard and poke buttons with your index finger when you find them. Taichi is clearly not used to using a computer.

Also his spelling is bad. To be fair, this is an easy mistake. He tries to write わるかった warukatta, which is one of many words you can use to apologize. However, based on his narration of his finger-typing, he types わるかつた warukatsuta. Which. Is. Not a word.

This is because of the agonizingly small difference between the letter つ tsu and the letter っ which extends the consonant of the following letter. Whoever came up with these two letters should be punched.

Once he's finished, Taichi notices another error. Squinting at the computer, he sees that his name came out 鯛血 tai chi, which means "porgy blood". That's wrong, computer.

He tries again and gets 対置 taichi, which means to contrast a thing against another.

His third try gives him 大知 Taichi which is actually the name Taichi but it's not his name Taichi. It's like having autocorrect give you "Jerry" when your name is "Jeri". Yes, but no.

Then, on the fourth try, he finally lands on his name 太一 Taichi.

I told y'all Japanese keyboards are hard. Kanji makes trying to write Japanese by typing letters insanely frustrating.

But the important thing is that it's done. Taichi's finished with his email and can--

Hikari: Writing an email? Taichi: WAUGH!!!

Taichi spins around in a panic, smacking his hand on the keyboard and inadvertently adding a little heart to the end of his name. Taichi notices the heart, then panics and throws his hands over the screen to hide it from Hikari.

Taichi: D-Don't read it without permission!

Then he realizes Hikari is nicely dressed.

Taichi: Huh? Where are you going? Hikari: A friend's birthday party. And here is a gift!

Hikari holds out a small gift-wrapped box she'll be taking with her. Taichi suddenly grabs playfully for the box, doing grabby fingers, while Hikari jerks it out of his grasp each time.

Taichi: (grabs) Gimme! Hikari: Stop it. Taichi: (grabs) Gimme! Hikari: Stop it. Taichi: (grabs) Gimme! Hikari: Stop it. Taichi: Geh....

Taichi gives up, overdramatically sighing and reclining into his chair. This leaves him vulnerable to counterattack!

Hikari: To send an email, CLICK!!!

Hikari grabs the mouse and hits the Send button, delivering Taichi's bad email - with heart icon still attached - to Sora. Then she scampers off to the next room before he can realize what she's done.

Taichi: H-Hey! Don't send it yourself! Hikari: (peeks out through doorway) Who did we send it to? Taichi: None of your business! Hikari: (pouts) That's mean... And after all that trouble teaching you how to send it, too.

Siblings, amirite? XD

The dub rearranges this scene and Koushiro's first scene, so we'll talk about their take on all this in a moment. From here, Hikari prepares to go out.

Yuuko comes home to find Hikari putting on her shoes.

Yuuko: You're going out? Hikari: Mhm. Yuuko: Be careful out there. Hikari: Yes, mom.

Hikari responds with exactly the bored tone of a child being told by their parent exactly what her parent told her. Then Hikari goes out and Yuuko comes in.

Meanwhile, Taichi's email returns undeliverable.

Taichi: Huh? Email rejected?

Taichi blames Sora for this as if she, personally, prohibited him from contacting her. Which makes sense today where blocking people online is commonplace, but was kind of a wild assumption for him to make back in the day before social media.

Taichi grabs onto his desk and angrily shakes his chair while ranting.

Taichi: What is with that jerk Sora!? Oh, you don't want to receive my emails, huh!?

He furiously shakes his chair so much it falls over and topples him to the ground in a bit of instant karma.

I have no idea what he said or did the other day but I'm with Sora.

From here, we cut to what the dub uses as the first scene of this portion of their spliced together movie.

Koushiro's tooling around on his desktop when he suddenly notices a code string appearing on his screen and going haywire.

Koushiro: What the....

It's not just him, either, as we see various other people kids around the globe at their computers seeing the same bizarre code pattern happening on their screens too.

Koushiro: D... Digimon...?

Slowly, like apicture being pulled up slowly back in the day, the resolution on the image at the center of the pattern increases line by line until what is clearly a Digitama becomes visible.

Oh shit? No. We're not at "Oh shit" yet. Oh shit is when the shell suddenly cracks, revealing a single yellow eye, and popping up a text box reading "HELLO" in English.

For the dub, Kari has the unfortunate job of trying to string this together with the original OVA and Hurricane Touchdown by providing voice-over narration. Once the OVA wraps up, Kari picks this scene to start us out on.

Kari (V.O.): It was another DigiDestined, Izzy, who first noticed there was trouble. Izzy: Huh!? (Izzy notices the borked code) Izzy: Prodigious! A computer virus on the internet! Wait a minute... Wow, it's attacking something! Huh, let me see if I can get an image of its target.... (Izzy pulls up the weird grid effect and we see other kids seeing the same thing) Kari (V.O.): Izzy wasn't the only one tracking the virus. The whole world was watching! But no one was prepared for what was about to happen. Izzy: Looks like... A Digi-Egg! Where'd that come from!? Wow! The virus is causing the egg to develop abnormally fast! I think it's gonna hatch! (The egg hatches and pops up its email screen) Digitized Voice: Hello!

A lot of extra dialogue here. Barely anything is spoken in the original version of this scene, but Izzy introduces a separate, unrelated virus occurring simultaneously alongside the generation of the Digi-Egg. This virus then... fuses with the Egg or something to make it hatch into what it's about to become.

This seems like a random detail they suddenly invented, but it... kind of fits in with what's really happening here? It's not correct. The Digitama is not being attacked by a virus. But I see where they were coming from, and we'll get into that in a bit when Koushiro gives us more detail on what he found.

From there, we go to the first scene with Tai.

Kari (V.O.): Across town, Tai and another DigiDestined, Sora, were facing their own problem. Tai: (narrating his typing) Dear Sora. I'm sorry about what happened. I haven't felt this bad since the time I accidentally threw up in your hat and didn't tell you about it before you put it on. I know our relationship has been a little stormy lately. You say you love thunder showers so what's a few raindrops between friends? Love, Tai. Tai: Love!? I mean 'From'! I mean... ugh.... Kari: Who are you writing to, Tai?

Tai's email is way more verbose and competently written than Taichi's. While also having him confess to something a lot worse than yelling rudely about her.

The dub cuts the bit with Taichi repeatedly having to correct the spelling of his name. Makes sense; That moment requires the audience to be able to read Kanji, which is a tall order for American 10-year-olds.

When he suddenly whips around, they add an edited shot of an English email where his finger accidentally changes the "From" back to "Love". I guess he accidentally hit Ctrl-Z.

Tai: (frantically covers his screen) I-It's just an email joke! What are you doing in here anyway, Kari? Kari: I wanted to show you my new dress! I'm going to a birthday party! (shows Tai the present) I got my friend a pink Power Ranger! Tai: Gimme! Kari (V.O.): My brother and I had a give and take relationship. I would give and he would take. Tai: (gives up after three tries) Eh, who cares? Kari: If you want to send an email, you have to click this! CLICK! (Kari clicks the Send button and runs for it) Tai: AUGH!!! I WASN'T GONNA SEND THAT LETTER!!! Kari: (teasing) Then what did you write it for? Tai: Oh, go to your party! Kari: (pout) Okay.

Not sure why Tai was writing an email he had no intention of sending, but this bit is pretty close to the original.

From here, the dub cuts out the scene if Hikari saying goodbye to Yuuko and we go straight to Tai angrily vibrating himself to the floor.

Tai: (Message being sent) I can't believe Sora's gonna read my letter! (Message returns undeliverable) Tai: Wait a minute. Unable to deliver? (furious) I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S NOT GONNA READ MY LETTER!!! YOU TRY AND TELL A GIRL YOU'RE SORRY AND YOUR COMPUTER SHUTS YOU DOWN--WAUGH!!!

Here, the dub changes the angle of Tai's frustration. Taichi inexplicably blames Sora and yells at her for the message bouncing back, while Tai more accurately blames the computer for his troubles.

This would make Tai come off looking a lot better than Taichi but... he did throw up in her hat without telling her. So.

I can't do a "Sora will remember this" bit about Taichi yelling at her because she is not present for it. But she most definitely will remember the puke hat incident.

Now the two versions are synched up and it's time for ONE LAST "BUTTERFLY" before 02 changes out the opening credits!

This movie inexplicably has two titles on its title card. The Japanese text here is ぼくらのウォーゲーム Bokura no Uou Geemu!" Those last two words are "War Game"; That's, uh, that's just what happens when an English word gets localized into Katakana and then literally translated back into English.

The first word, in Hirogana, is ぼくら Bokura which is a pluralization of ぼく Boku, a first-person pronoun. So the title is literally "Our War Game". But for some reason the title card also contains the English title "Children's War Game". No idea why.

While the credits play, we get our first hint of what all the Chosen Children are up to these days. Sora's still out for her walk. She passes a row of TV screens showing a flowery meadow and stops to check her hair in the mirror next to them. Then she continues on her way, oblivious to the newly hatched Digimon which has now taken over the screens.

Jou's waiting on a train platform for his ride. It pulls into the station and he gets ready to board, but the doors never open. He exchanges a momentary look of WTF with an adult man onboard, as eager to get off as Jou is to get on, before the train takes off once more.

Mimi's apartment is abandoned, and has been for quite some time. The mail slot is overstuffed with mail and the family's heart-shaped nameplate falls off the wall.

Someone on the dub team takes this opportunity to insert their ship into the movie. The big heart-shaped pink thing on the wall is the family nameplate. It has the name Tachikawa in big bold print, then each of the family member's individual names in smaller print underneath.

The dub drew their own version of the nameplate, but theirs reads: To: Mimi From: Joe

The sound you hear is the sound of me throwing things. IT'S THE FAMILY FUCKING NAMEPLATE. IT IS NOT A LOVE LETTER.

Koushiro puts those soccer legs to work and sprints full-tilt to Taichi's apartment, laptop under his arm.

Yamato and Takeru are away together, presumably at their grandmother's. Takeru's traded out his green helmet cap thing for the white hat that will form part of his new look next series.

Lastly, Hikari shows up to her friend's party with present in hand.

The dub's in kind of a sticky spot here because this is an opening credits sequence and very much shot like one but we are 20 minutes into a "feature-length movie" so it would be weird for an opening credit sequence to suddenly happen now.

Their solution? FLASH MOB MOTHERFUCKERS. The plot is being put on hold so that we can spontaneously throw a music video. Specifically, One Week by the Barenaked Ladies, presumably as a reflection of Tai's emotional state..

That's fun. At the end of the day, OPs are just precisely contextual music videos anyway. The song is very 90's and, far more importantly, is not Hey Digimon. I'll take it.

Once the OP's over, we rejoin Taichi in the kitchen. He opens the fridge to see various containers and then, like the child he literally is, complains to his mother who is actively unpacking groceries that it's empty.

Taichi: Hey... There's nothing to eat.... Yuuko: Hm? Taichi: (sighs, whines) Hikari~ is going to a birthday party where she gets to eat cake.... Yuuko: I can bake you a cake. Taichi: Yeah? Yuuko: Yes, really. Take out some eggs.

Both "That jerk Sora" earlier and this "Hikari~" are translations of adding の奴 no yatsu to the end of someone's name. Yatsu is a third-person pronoun that basically means they/them but in a condescending or disrespectful tone.

"That guy", but not like "Who is that guy?" but rather "What's with that guy?"

So, like, a literal translation would be "What is with that Sora person!?" and "That Hikari person gets to have cake". Calling Sora a jerk and adding a jealous little sneer to Hikari's name is the best translation equivalent I can come up with.

Taichi takes a single egg out of the fridge, but then the doorbell rings. Distracted, he leaves the kitchen, taking the single egg with him.

Yuuko: Let's see, I bought some wheat flour....

Taichi reaches the door just before Koushiro loses patience and yanks the door open himself. Which really goes to show how freaked out he is because this is Izumi "Infinite Decorum" Koushiro just ripping someone else's door open.

Taichi: Hey, Koushiro. Come on in. Koushiro: T-The egg! Taichi: Huh? Koushiro: THE EGG HATCHED!!!

Confusion printed on his face, Taichi's eyes ever so slowly wander down to the egg in his hand.

Koushiro: NO!!! THE DIGITAMA!!!

Finally, one more credit slide saves them from having to animate Koushiro entering the apartment, and we merely get to hear Yuuko notice him.

Yuuko: Oh, welcome, Koushiro-kun. Koushiro: Thank you.

It's left unclear whether Taichi ever finished taking the eggs out of the fridge like his mother told him to, but we'll give him the benefit of doubt. He wanted that cake.

In the dub:

Tai: Ugh... Mom? Yuuko: Hmm? Tai: Can I make a complaint? Yuuko: Hm? Tai: Well, Kari's eating birthday cake right now and all we have is leftover tofu. Yuuko: I can make you a cake, Tai. Hand me an egg, please. Tai: (distraught) NO!!! Yuuko: I needed to use up the rest of the wheat germ anyway. Tai: (disturbed) Ngggh.... (dingdong; Tai retrieves an egg) Yuuko: You get the door and I'll start on that cake! (Tai goes to the door; Izzy yanks it open) Tai: Izzy, you're all sweaty. What's wrong? Izzy: (breathing heavily) Well it's... about the egg.... Tai: Huh? Izzy: The egg has already hatched! (Tai slowly looks at the egg in his hand) Izzy: NO, NOT THAT EGG!!! A DIGI-EGG!!!

Because it happens over a credits slide, Yuuko's greeting to Koushiro gets cut.

Izzy does a good job with the egg gag. I admit, I was kinda hoping the much more rude Izzy would call Tai an idiot here. But I still like what we got.

Tai's reaction to Yuuko baking a cake is part of a running gag in the dub film, where Yuuko's culinary practices... leave something to be desired, let's say. Yuuko is planning to bake a cake using only one egg and "the rest of the wheat germ", however much that is.

Which is funny because in the original series, it's the Tachikawa family that has a running gag of culinary horror. Mimi's mother Satoe routinely inflicts whatever random kitchen experiments strike her brain on Keisuke and Mimi, both of whom adore her concoctions and devour them regardless of what comes out. The result is that Mimi herself has let's say esoteric opinions about how to properly prepare tasty food.

Taichi and Koushiro move into Taichi and Hikari's bedroom to check out the newborn Digimon.

Koushiro uses Netscape as his web browser. Oh my god, do you remember Netscape!? God, I'm old. In any case, Taichi and Koushiro discuss the new Digimon while munching on popsicles.

Taichi: Ha! What's that thing? It looks like a jellyfish. Koushiro: It's a new kind of Digimon that we've never seen before. Taichi: It's pretty cute! So, what about it? Koushiro: It looks like computer bugs from everywhere have gathered together in one place and formed the Digitama.

This, I think, is where the dub got "A virus is attacking the Digitama and it's causing it to develop abnormally fast." A shitton of computer bugs (bugs, not viruses) happened at once all across the internet and merged together to form this... eerie computer bug Digitama, which has now hatched into our jellyfish 'mon.

Taichi: How do you know that? Koushiro: One of my email nakama who lives in Russia analyzed the data structure from the eggshell. They're still in elementary school, but they already have a seat reserved for them at university. Taichi: (grumpy) I'm in elementary school too, but I only go to elementary school.

Yeah, and that's probably not changing any time soon, my guy.

We're not getting any rundowns on this creature, so now would be a good time to talk shop. Officially, this creature is called Kuramon. The name comes from the word 海月 kurage which means jellyfish. Taichi basically named it a moment ago.

Like Apocalymon, it's not really a Digimon in the typical sense. It has no attribute or classification. It's not a vaccine, a virus, or data, but a secret fourth thing. As Koushiro said, it's made of bugs.

In Pokemon terms, this is MissingNo. And yes, you should be very concerned about that.

In what was most certainly a promotional decision, this creature's debut is split between the card game and the film. Some of its forms were released in a booster from February 2000, then the film came out in March 2000, and then the rest of its forms were released in another booster in April 2000.

The dub explains it like this:

Izzy: My Digimon Analyzer doesn't even recognize it. Tai: It looks like a cross between a jellyfish and a contact lens. Izzy: I think it's part-Digimon, part-virus. Tai: A Digimon with a virus. So? Izzy: Are you kidding!? If it stays on the internet, it could wipe out all technology as we know it! Tai: If it just hatched, how do you know about all this stuff? Izzy: This kid I met on the internet emailed me. His name is Willis and he lives in Colorado. I don't know where he gets his information. He's smart, though. He's only in elementary school but he's already taking classes at Colorado State! Tai: (bitterly) ...so what? I'm in junior high school and I take classes at junior high school!

Koushiro's email colleague in Russia's been rewritten to be an American named Willis. This is to better fit it into the feature-length film mold that they glued these three OVAs into. "Willis" is a character from Hurricane Touchdown, and so they're name-dropping him here in order to set up his appearance further in the "film".

As for Kuramon? In the dub's continuity it is... (heavy sigh) ...half-Digimon, half-virus.

VIRUSES ARE A TYPE OF DIGIMON OH MY GOD (sound of throwing things) This is like introducing a new evolution for Dratini and calling it "half-Pokemon and half-dragon". What are we doing here.

I do, however, appreciate Izzy calling out that the Digimon Analyzer has no idea what this is. All Koushiro says is "we haven't seen this before". But. Like. That's hardly conclusive. It's not like they saw every Digimon in the entire Digital World during their Chosen Children drafting, right?

Izzy cuts the ambiguity and says "I checked the Wiki and it just had a shrug emoji, so there's that."

Suddenly, Kuramon's screen beeps and it changes form.

Taichi: It evolved!

Now in its Baby II form, the creature is Tsumemon. Named for the word 爪 tsume, which means claw or talon.

Tsumemon sends Koushiro an email. The subject line reads オナカスイタ onakasuita which means absolutely nothing because it's in Katakana, and Katakana letters are just context-free sounds. However, in Hirogana and Kanji, お腹すいた Onaka suita means "I'm hungry."

(Hahahaha it's become Koushiro's involuntary Virtual Pet! Hahahahahahaha! Have fun with your new Tamagotchi, my guy!)

Koushiro: This... It's an email from the jellyfish! (reading) Onaka suita.... Taichi: Huh!? It's hungry!? Koushiro: It grows by eating data! And it has a huge appetite... It's only at Baby stage, but if it keeps evolving like this, it could devour all the data on the network! Taichi: ...what happens after the data gets corrupted? Koushiro: All of the computers will go haywire!

While the boys talk, Tsumemon chews its way through a visual representation of the internet. We cut to the convenience store FactoryMark to show a young woman ringing up a purchase.

Checker: (bored tone) Welcome. That will be 125 yen--Ah!

She does a double take at the register screen, then reads off the "correct" amount.

Checker: (counting zeroes) One, ten, hundred, thousand, ten thousand, hundred thousand. (to customer) That will be 1,000,125 yen.

The man, very reasonably, freezes in place and drops his money out of shock. For conversion's sake, an $0.80 purchase just jacked up to about $6,400. So either Martin Shkreli just hit Japan or something is way the fuck wrong.

It's okay. You don't have to get it. Sometimes you write jokes for you.

Other supermarkets encounter similar errors, with all their products suddenly being priced at a million yen. We see checkout lines held up by furious customers.

Customer: Why should I have to pay so much!?

Back in the Yagami home, the unbelievably fast news reports on the event.

News: Systems are malfunctioning in supermarkets and convenience stores all across the country.

In the dub:

Izzy: Look! The jellyfish Digivolved! Tai: He's sending an email! It says "I'm hungry!" What, am I supposed to call for a pizza?

The dub rewrites the email to read "I'm Hungry!" in English.

Izzy: Oh, no! He's eating computer data! And when he's done in this buffet line, he's gonna look for a database with more food! Tai: More food!? What does he expect to find, a grocery store!? (Cut to FactoryMark convenience store) Checker: Okay, that's one box of chocolate. Your total comes to one million, one hundred--HUH!? Yeah, that's what it says. That must be really good chocolate. Paper or plastic? Customer: What, it was supposed to, whuh... (drops money in shock)

They snip out the shots of other stores from here and go straight home to the Kamiya residence.

News: In supermarkets all over the city, computer systems are failing causing congestion at the registers. And now for the weather.

As usual, Izzy's not great with the exposition. "Tsumemon will go looking for a larger database" is cut from the same cloth, but doesn't quite capture the same sense of urgency as "Tsumemon will evolve and grow and devour more and more until it's eaten the entire network."

Though I do love the checker shrugging off the upcharge like, "Hm, seems legit." XD

Yuuko, carrying a tray with two glasses of indeterminate brown liquid on it, pays the report a little bit of mind before returning her attention to the door in front of her.

Yuuko: Taichi, I'm coming in.

She steps inside just in time for Taichi to nearly bowl her over on his way out the door.

Yuuko: AH!!! Taichi: Excuse me! Yuuko: What's this all of a sudden? Taichi: We're using Dad's PC!

Koushiro bolts past her next.

Yuuko: (holding out the tray) Well, at least take these with you.

Koushiro stops, doubles back, and snatches a glass from the tray. He chugs it right there on the spot, then returns the empty glass to the tray.

(That's not what she asked you to do, Koushiro.)

Yuuko: Oh my, you were thirsty! Koushiro: Thank you!

When Koushiro enters the office, he finds Taichi inspecting the computer's monitor and trying to figure out how to turn it on.

Taichi: Let's see... How does.... Koushiro: I'll handle it. Taichi: Please. I have no idea....

Koushiro lifts the monitor off Susumu's desk and sets it on the floor, then does the same with the tower.

Koushiro: This is connected to the phone line, right? Taichi: Oh, yeah. With ISDN or something like that.

That's all Koushiro needs to hear. He switches on the tower, and both it and the modem come to life.

In the dub, we start with more of Yuuko's culinary experiments.

Yuuko: Tai! I made beef jerky shakes! (Yuuko enters; Tai exits) Tai: No thanks, mom! Yuuko: Where are you going? Tai: We need to use Dad's computer! (Izzy goes past her) Yuuko: Don't you want your shake!? Izzy: Ooh! (Izzy doubles back and chugs a glass) Yuuko: I'm glad someone appreciates my recipes. Izzy: Thanks, Mrs. Kamiya! (Izzy enters the office to find Tai trying to turn the computer on) Tai: We gotta be careful with my dad's stuff. Izzy: (bluntly) Get out of my way! (Izzy lifts the computer stuff off the desk) Izzy: A Digimon is eating the internet and you're worried about a few books!? Tai: But my dad likes his mess where it is. Izzy: (ignoring him) We'll have more capabilities if we network our computers together.

But at least Izzy appreciates her jerky shakes. And then immediately gets to show off how rude and thoughtless he is in this version when him tearing the computer stuff off the desk gets recontextualized.

Once Koushiro's done setting up the desktop, he takes out his laptop. Taichi has questions.

Taichi: Could we just delete that jellyfish thing off the internet? Koushiro: Delete it? How? Taichi: We tell the phone company or some computer experts about the jellyfish and-- Koushiro: That's pointless. My email colleague in Russia told a lot of people about it, but they wouldn't listen.

I dunno, Koushiro. I feel like people might be more inclined to listen in goddamn Odaiba, which was laid to waste by a colossal Dracula kaiju last summer. Might just be me, though.

As the boys reconnect to the internet, they find their jellyfish has evolved once again. This next stage is called Keramon, named for the onomatopoeia for wicked cackling, kerakera. This is fine.

They also, side note, find Keramon at what appears to be the official website for FactoryMark, having devoured everything and left the page blank but for Keramon's own rotating visage. This poor company.

Taichi: It's already evolved again! Koushiro: This must be its Child-stage. Taichi: That's bad... This is bad, Koushiro! Koushiro: Unless we defeat it now.... Taichi: How!? Koushiro: Well... Uh.... Taichi: Are we just going to sit here and watch while this thing keeps evolving!?

Koushiro has no answer. The boys sit in silence, thinking.

In the dub:

Tai: Hey, Izzy! Why don't we just call up the Digimon on the screen and then hit delete? Izzy: Don't you think I tried that!? Tai: If this thing is so dangerous, maybe we should call someone important like the principal or Bill Gates or someone-- Izzy: They won't listen! That kid Willis warned his internet carrier about the new Digimon. They said, "Great! Let's sign him up and give him fifty free hours!" (Izzy connects and brings up Keramon) Izzy: Alright! We're online! Tai: He's Digivolved again! Keramon: My name is Keramon. Izzy: I think he's at the Rookie level. Tai: This soon!? He's Digivolving too quickly! Izzy: He's probably at a fast food website.

Convenience store but I'm sure he's still finding great consumable products all the same. Oh shit, I bet that's why the cheddarwurst is always gone already whenever I walk down there. Fucking Keramon.

Tai: Now what!? Izzy: Nothing now. Tai: You mean we have to sit here and watch that thing eat the world out of house and home page!?

They say a lot of the same things in this bit, but jokier. I desperately want to know what Tai expects the school principal to do about Keramon.

Also they gave Keramon a line for some reason.

There is one odd translation choice. In the original, Koushiro stammers and stutters when Taichi asks what they can actually do about this. He doesn't know, and he struggles to find an answer.

Izzy confidently asserts that they should do nothing. Uh. That. Seems like a bad idea, Izzy. Why are we even scoping Keramon out if the plan is inaction? Academic interest?

While the boys sit in silence, an air raid siren blares in the background. They don't seem to notice. Eventually, Taichi speaks up.

Taichi: If only Agumon were here right now.... Agumon: Taichi. Taichi: (whine) Aaaaaagumoooooon! Agumon: Taichi! Taichi: If only you were here! Agumon: TAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHI!!!

Taichi finally hears him on the third try. He jumps to his feet, frantically looking around the office.

Taichi: Agumon!? Is that you!? Hey! Where are you!? Koushiro: Taichi-san, here!

Koushiro calls Taichi's attention to the laptop.

Taichi: AGUMON!!!

A window pops up with the cute title "デジモンさんのかくれが Digimon-san no kakure ka" or Digimon-san's Hideout. We see Gennai's bonsai garden from his secret estate beneath the lake, where a cute little chibi Agumon is standing with Gennai.

Agumon: (jumps for joy) TAICHIIIIIIIIIIII!!! (Taichi and Koushiro breathe sighs of relief) Taichi: Agumon! Koushiro: Gennai-san.... Gennai: It's been a long time, hasn't it? Tentomon: (appears in a puff of pink smoke) Koushiro-han, have you been well? Koushiro: Tentomon!

The door opens and the remaining six Partner Digimon all spill out into the bonsai garden. Taichi tries to count them off as they enter but gives up partway.

Taichi: Piyomon! Gabumon! Palmon! ...everyone's here!

In a cute little visual reference, five of the remaining six Partners enter the garden in single file. However, there's about a second's delay before Tailmon, separate from the others, finally enters as well.

In the dub, there's no long silence or air raid siren. Tai cuts straight from his previous rambling to:

Tai: I wish Agumon was here to help us! Agumon: Tai! Tai: I can almost hear him now. Agumon: You can hear me now! Tai: It's like he was here. Agumon: I am here. Tai: Huh!? (Tai jumps up and looks around) Agumon! I can barely hear you! Take me off speaker phone! Izzy: It's a transmission! Tai: Huh!? Izzy: From the Digital World. (Izzy pulls up the Digimon's Hideout screen) Agumon: (jumping for joy) Tai! Tai! (Taichi and Izzy breathe sighs of relief) Tai: Agumon! Izzy: And he's with Gennai! Gennai: It's been a long time! Tentomon: (appears in a puff of pink smoke) Don't forget me! Izzy: Tentomon! Tai: Who else is there? (The other Digimon enter) Biyomon: Biyomon! Gabumon: Gabumon! Palmon: Palmon! Patamon: Patamon! Gomamon: Gomamon! Gatomon: Gatomon!

Solid. No notes.

Now that the Digi-gang's all here, let's talk shop.

Gennai: So, do you know about this guy? Koushiro: Yes. It's a new kind of Digimon on the net, right? Gennai: Ohohohoho! Just as I expected. Agumon: Listen, Taichi. That is a tremendously evil Digimon. Tentomon: We can't just leave it alone! Koushiro: Yeah, but how do we defeat this thing? Agumon: Taichi. We'll fight. Taichi: Agumon? But.... Gabumon: We'll go inside the internet.... Patamon: ...just like how you guys saved the Digital World.... Tentomon: ...now it's our turn to help you! Koushiro: Tentomon....

Taichi and Koushiro are both silent for a moment while they mull over the Digimon's suggestion. Then Taichi snaps into leadership mode.

Taichi: Got it. We're counting on you guys. You're the only ones who can do this! Koushiro, your Digivice? Koushiro: (holds up Digivice) I brought it, of course.

Ready to go to work, Taichi dramatically pulls up his Goggles of Leadership from around his neck and snaps them onto his forehead.

Taichi: Great! We'll evolve you with our Digivices! Digimon: Okay! Gennai: Great! I'll start sending our friends into the network now, so hold off for a moment.

Gennai conjures up columns of light that the Digimon can enter, transporting them into the internet.

Taichi: Yes! This is great. I'll go let everyone else know.

While the Digimon get into position, Taichi heads off to the phone to start making some calls.

In the dub:

Gennai: We need to talk! Something's threatening the internet! Izzy: We know! The Digimon's already caused some major problems in our world. Gennai: I'm not sure it is a Digimon. Agumon: But it is dangerous. The evil Dark Masters were cupcakes compared to this guy! Tai: That's it, then! Let's do it! Gabumon: We found a way to enter the internet. Patamon: We'll help you guys because you were the best friends we ever had! Tentomon: What better way to express friendship than to save your world? Izzy: Tentomon.... Tentomon: (tearing up) Please don't get so emotional! Tai: Thanks a lot, guys. You won't be alone! We'll be right here on the computer. Izzy, Digivice! Izzy: (holds up his Digivice) I'm one step ahead of you, Tai! Tai: (dramatically puts on goggles) Our Digivices will help you Digivolve and together we'll squash that bug! Digimon: (miscellaneous cheering) Gennai: It will take a minute for Agumon and Tentomon to get on the net. My modem's older than I am! Tai: I'll call the other DigiDestined so their Digimon can help too!

A subtle switch, but in the original, the Digimon were going to help to repay the favor from the children saving their world. In the dub, it's to repay their friendship.

Also, Dub Agumon brings up the Dark Masters in order to use them as a yardstick for how much more ultra-mega-terrible Keramon is than they were. In the original, there is no escalatory threat-measuring contest here. Agumon simply calls Keramon 巨悪 kyoaku, a great evil.

Lastly, Gennai suggests that Keramon may not even be a Digimon. This is probably because Dub Keramon is "half-virus, half-Digimon" so its nature is weird. Its nature is weird in the original too, but that's because it's made of bugs instead of vaccine, virus, or data.

Time for Taichi to start making calls, beginning with Jou-senpai.

Taichi: (on the phone) Ah, moshi moshi! This is Yagami. Is Jou there? ...eh? Entrance exams? Entrance exams for... middle school...? Yes, I understand. (hangs up)

Moshi moshi is a Japanese phone greeting. We've talked about it before, but it's just a thing you say when talking to someone on the phone, specifically. It start out basically meaning something like "Sound check, 1, 2, 3," to make sure you were clearly audible and then evolved into a context-free social tradition.

Yeah. All that studying for entrance exams that was so important to Jou? Today is the fucking day. This is where Jou was going when Tsumemon made him miss his train. These tests will play a pivotal role in deciding the entire course of his future.

We see Jou sprinting for dear life, barely making it into the school when all other students are already seated and taking their tests. He races for dear life to his seat, frantically whipping out his pencil case so he can try his best.

In the dub:

Tai: Hi, this is Tai Kamiya! Can I speak to Joe, please? Other Person: (unintelligible gibberish) Tai: A test!? He's the only kid I know who volunteers for summer school! (hangs up)

The shots of Jou frantically sprinting into the school and trying to get to his seat are cut out, but the part where he opens his pencil case and accidentally sprays pencils everywhere is kept. They also add an anguished wail from Joe.

So, in this version, Joe's out-of-reach because he likes to do extra schooling for funsies. He's not panicking because the train made him late for a life-changing event he cannot afford to miss; He just spilled his pencils 'cause he's a clumsy goober.

This meshes with how the original anime portrayed his studying for the entrance exams, but drastically undercuts how important these tests are for him.

With Jou out of reach, Taichi tries Yamato next.

Taichi: Eh? Yamato is out? He's with Takeru? Where? ...eh!? SHIMANE!?!?

Yeah, they're way the fuck across Japan. Shimane is out on the west side of the island nation. It would take them about ten hours to get back to Odaiba by train.

Koushiro: Shimane.... Taichi: I'm sorry, do you have a phone number I can reach them at? Yuuko: Koushiro-kun, would you like some Oolong tea? Koushiro: Ah, yes, please.

Taichi gets the number and punches it in.

Taichi: (muttering) Pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up Yuuko: (background) Here you go. Koushiro: (background) Thank you. (The line picks up) Taichi: AH!!! MOSHI MOSHI!!!

Unfortunately for Taichi, it's the old woman - presumably the boys' grandma - who picked up.

Grandma: (slowly) Who is calling? Taichi: It's Yagami from Tokyo! Sorry to bother you-- Grandma: (slowly) Could you please repeat that? Taichi: Um, could you please put Yamato and Takeru on? Grandma: Ah! Those are my grandsons. They're such good boys. Yamato: (noticing) Who is it? Taichi: Excuse me, but there's something very important I need to tell them! Grandma: I see.

Finally getting the message, Grandma hangs the phone back up on the receiver and turns to the boys.

Grandma: Yamato!

Meanwhile, on the other end of the line, Taichi is frozen in appalled silence for five straight seconds.

Taichi: (hissing furiously) ...she hung up....

This is not going well. XD

In the dub:

Tai: Hi! Is Matt or T.K. there? Other Person: (unintelligible gibberish) Tai: They're visiting their grandmother in the country? Other Person: (unintelligible gibberish) Izzy: HEY TAI!!! Any luck yet? Yuuko: Would you like a glass of potato juice, Izzy? Izzy: Great! I'd love some!

I don't know which home Tai thought he was calling where he could ask for "Matt or T.K.".

Also, Izzy suddenly yelling "HEY TAI" while Tai's on a phone call. Rude. I love how Tai just ignores him and then Yuuko makes him drink potatoes. The Yuuko gag is quickly turning into well-deserved karma for Izzy's rudeness.

Tai: (muttering) Be there be there be there be there be there be there be there be there be there be there (gasp) Ooh! Hello there! This is Tai! Grandmother: You're selling ties? Tai: No, my name is Tai. I'm looking for Matt or T.K. Grandmother: That's a coincidence! Those are my grandkids' names. Tai: That's great! Are they there? Grandmother: Mhm. Tai: Right now!? Grandmother: Mhm. Tai: Can I talk to them!? Grandmother: Oh, I'd love to talk to them too. They're here visiting me. Tai: Please, I need to speak to them right away! Grandmother: Okay, I'll tell them. (Grandma hangs up) Grandmother: KIIIIIDS!!! ... Tai: (hissing furiously) ...I can't take this....

Dub Grandma has an even harder time grasping this conversation than the original.

Moving on down the list.

Yuuko: Koushiro-kun, aren't you going anywhere for spring break? Koushiro: No, nowhere in particular. Yuuko: There isn't anywhere you want to go?

A familiar conversation for anyone who's ever been an introverted kid.

This brief exchange sets our timeframe, in case Jou's entrance exams didn't already give it away; In Japan, the ending of one school year and beginning of the next is framed around spring break, rather than summer vacation as it is in the U.S.

We've moved forward about eight or nine months from the original series.

Taichi places his next call. However, as we've already seen, nobody's at the Tachikawa residence to collect the mail or pick up the phone, nor have they been in days.

Taichi: Alright, next up! (dials) Ah, moshi moshi! Mimi: (recording) This is Mimi! I can't take your call right now! (beep) Taichi: Mimi-chan! It's Taichi! Call me back as soon as you can! (hangs up) Man, every one of them....

An interesting note is that Mimi's iconic pink cowboy hat is hanging up in her bedroom. Not only did she not take it with her, but... Like... She has it. Last we saw that hat, the wind whipped it off her head and sent it tumbling across File Island. It never left the Digital World.

So I guess she must have got a new one.

In the dub:

Yuuko: You know, Izzy, I can never get Tai to try any of my recipes. Izzy: I think they taste great. Yuuko: (excited) Wanna try my spinach cookies? Tai: (excited) I GOT MIMI'S MACHINE!!! Mimi: (recording) Hi, it's Mimi! I'm so glad you called. Let's get together for lunch! Leave a very short message after the beep! (beep) Tai: MIMI I-- (beep) (Tai hangs up) Tai: (growl) Rrrrrgh. That girl loves to talk!

"Leave a very short message after the beep" might be the funniest joke in dub history thus far. XD What the fuck, Mimi. Why. Who does that. Why. Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Little confused by Tai's punchline, though. The intent is clearly "Teen girls be yappin' on their phones" boomer-humor, which was all over the place in the 80's and 90's. But I don't see how that connects to the setup of Mimi's absurdly short answering machine window.

Taichi's running out of options at this point. With one obvious and glaring omission he hasn't yet tried, and still won't. Time to keep going down the list. Meanwhile, over in the kitchen, Koushiro's sifting flour while Yuuko works on whipping her cake batter.

Yuuko: (cheerfully) Sorry you had to pitch in! Taichi: Hey! Do you know the phone number to the house Hikari went to for the birthday party? Koushiro: (sifting) Like this? Yuuko: That's right. Don't let it get lumpy. Taichi: COME ON, MOM!!! Yuuko: Right, yes... There should be a note over there. Uri-san's house. Taichi: (rifles through phone desk, grumbling) What is wrong with everyone....

At the birthday girl's house, everyone's gathered around a giant cake, clapping and celebrating.

Girls: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

The birthday girl takes a deep breath, then stops when she realizes one of them is missing. Hikari is over on the phone.

One of the Girls: (hissing) Hikari-chan! Hikari: (to phone) I can't come home yet. We haven't even blown out the candles on the birthday cake yet. Taichi: I see. Then come home right after the candles are blown out!

But her social life!

How about you learn how to do the white glowy trick where you can evolve everyone's Digimon and not just your own?

In the dub:

Yuuko: (to Izzy) You're a real natural in the kitchen. Just like me. Ha! Tai: Mom, I need to get a hold of Kari right away! Did she take your cellphone with her? Izzy: So, do I have enough of this stuff? Yuuko: Beats me. It's the first time I've used flour to bake a cake! Tai: MOM!!! Yuuko: Of course she's got it in case of emergency. Tai: (rifles through phone desk, grumbling) Emergency...? What does she think this is!? (Tai makes the call) Girls: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (clapclapclap) Make a wish! Blow 'em out!

The dub adds the sound of a phone interrupting the candle-blowing. In the original, it's the birthday girl's landline so there's an implication that someone came and told her that there was a call for her. She probably didn't answer the phone herself.

But since they rewrote the phone Kari's on to be Yuuko's personal cell phone, they can have Kari rudely answer it during the candle-blowing for comedic effect.

Girl: (hissing) Call them back! Kari: I can't come home! You don't understand. The magician's coming over later and I've already volunteered to be sawed in half. Tai: Whatever! Just tell the half with feet to run home soon!

This flows pretty well. The shot of Kari on the phone only shows the receiver, so the animation doesn't contradict the rewritten context. And the "half with feet" bit is another pretty good joke.

Dub team is also having a lot of fun with the "Izzy and Yuuko in the kitchen" shots.

Well, that's it. There's only one last call to make. The one Taichi can't make. This is the big one.

Taichi: KOUSHIRO!!! Koushiro: Eh? Taichi: Uh, you see... Could you please call Sora's home? Koushiro: Sora-san? Shouldn't you do that? Taichi: Just do it! Here!

Taichi flings the phone directly at Koushiro's face. Koushiro yelps, catches it, and slowly exhales. Then, very confused, he starts punching in the number.

Taichi lumbers over and grumpily takes a seat at the table.

Yuuko: Oh? Are you inviting any more friends? Taichi: I want an Oolong tea too! Yuuko: You won't even answer me?

Oh boy, I do not like the way this boy talks to his mother in this special. So far, we've seen him push past her in the doorway, ignore her questions, and yell at her for not answering him. Now he slumps down in his chair, doesn't even look at her, blows off her question, and demands tea.

All while she's trying to bake a cake because Taichi was complaining that Hikari got to go have one today.

Taichi is a child, so I won't fault him too much for behaving childishly. But this all raises uncomfortable questions about what he's learning from Susumu, since children emulate their role models and all that.

Koushiro makes the call, which Sora's mother Toshiko answers.

Toshiko: Okay, I just have to let her know to call the Yagami residence, right? (Sora comes in the front door) Toshiko: Oh, one moment. She just got back.

Cutting back to Koushiro, he can clearly hear Sora on the other end of the line.

Sora: Who is it? Toshiko: It's from the Yagami residence. Sora: Hm.... (beat) Sora: Tell them I'm not home. Toshiko: But-- Sora: Just do it!

Sora storms into her room and slams the door.

Toshiko: (returning to phone) Uh... She asked me to tell you that she isn't home.

Back in the Yagami apartment, Koushiro ends the call and tries to get Taichi to explain what's going on, while Yuuko continues mixing her cake batter in the kitchen.

Koushiro: Did something happen? Taichi: Not really.... Koushiro: Something must have happened. Taichi: Nothing happened. Koushiro: At a time like this, could you please stop bickering.

Taichi blushes hard and snaps at Koushiro for that remark.

Taichi: WE'RE NOT BICKERING!!! Koushiro: (to himself) Definitely bickering. (Taichi stands up suddenly, nervously shaking) Taichi: A-Anyways, uh... Hey, isn't it about time?

The implication Koushiro's making is that Taichi and Sora are having a lovers' spat. An implication that Taichi catches, which causes him to react the way he does.

Meanwhile, in her room, Sora pops open her own little tablet computer. She fidgets nervously, twirling a hairclip in her hand, until her computer tells her that no emails have been received.

Sora: (angrily) Stupid Taichi!

Sora slams the tablet shut, clenching her fist around the hairpin.

Whatever happened between them, Sora's pretty upset about it too. I'm not sure if Taichi's misspelled and extremely brief email ending in "Cheer up" would actually help, but Kuramon eating it certainly didn't.

Deliberate sabotage. Kuramon ships Taichi/Yamato, clearly.

In the dub:

Tai: Hey! Izzy! Izzy: Huh? Tai: I can't get anybody on the phone! I want you to call Sora for me! Izzy: But you and she are really good friends. It makes more sense for you to call. Tai: JUST DO IT!!! (throws the phone) (Tai marches over and slumps into his chair) Yuuko: (excited) Are more friends coming over? I'll make three-bean salad! Tai: Nobody's coming over, Mom! Yuuko: Oh. That's alright, I only have two beans anyway.

Honestly, I was kinda WTF about this Bad Cook Yuuko bit but it keeps making me laugh. It helps that Yuuko gets to be the one delivering the punchlines most of the time. They let the absurdity of her bit stand by itself and get the laugh, rather than trying to have an over-the-top reaction be the laugh line.

(Izzy makes the call) Toshiko: I'm sorry Sora's not home, but I'll tell her to call Tai's house as soon as she gets back. (Sora returns) Toshiko: Oh, hold on! She just walked in! I'll put her right on. (Cut to Izzy listening) Toshiko: Sora, I think Tai wants to speak to you. Sora: I'M NOT HOME!!! Toshiko: But I already told him you're here. Sora: THEN MAKE SOMETHING UP!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU TELL HIM!!! Toshiko: But Sora, I-- (Sora goes in her room and slams the door) Toshiko: ...I'm sorry, but you have the wrong number. Goodbye! (hangs up quickly)

XD That is the worst possible way you could have ended that conversation. Dub Toshiko, you absolute madwoman. Hahahahaha.

Izzy: ...Sora said she's not home. Tai: Hmph. Izzy: Did you two have an argument? Tai: None of your business. Izzy: You must have been a real jerk if she doesn't even want to talk to ya. Tai: HUH!?!? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! Izzy: Uh, I meant that in a good way.... Tai: I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S STILL MAD AT ME!!! THIS WHOLE THING STARTED OVER A LOUSY HAIRCLIP!!! Sora: (thinking) He'd better have written me! Tablet: Greetings! You have no new mail. Okay? Sora: No, it's not okay! (affectionately) Stupid Tai....

Specifically, that hairclip she's twirling while checking her computer. The clip is subtle foreshadowing for the true nature of their argument, but the dub goes ahead and spells it out for the audience.

I like how they got over the hurdle of Japanese text by installing text-to-speech accessibility software on Sora's computer.

A note about Yuuko: Both versions are playing the disconnect between Yuuko's jovial attitude and Taichi's panic for comedy. Yuuko has no idea what's going on. So far as she knows, Koushiro came over to play with Taichi and now they're trying to get some other friends together.

This isn't intentional; They aren't deliberately misleading her. There's no reason to. She already knows about the Digimon stuff. It's just that nobody's bothered to tell her, "Hey mom, some serious Digimon shit is going down."

While all this has been happening, Keramon has been a hungry little bugbear.

We cut to Odaiba landmark the Daikanransha, one of the world's largest Ferris Wheels until it was closed down in 2022. Its name means "Big Ferris Wheel". See, this is the downside of learning languages. Everything sounds so cool until you know what they're saying.

We see from the perspective of two boys and a girl. The girl, visibly the youngest, is having the time of her life but the boys look bored as shit.

Girl: So scary! Older Boy: This is lame. Younger Boy: No kidding. Older Boy: Huh? Wait, is it going faster?

Going haywire, the ferris wheel accelerates to dangerous speeds, whipping its passengers around.

Younger Boy: THIS IS SCARY!!! Girl: ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )

Hahahaha they are going to die.

On the landing in front of the apartment, Yuuko watches the giant Ferris Wheel whip around like that.

Yuuko: Taichi? Is it spinning faster than usual today?

Taichi and Koushiro sprint into the office, with Koushiro carrying their drinks on a tray. There, Hikari's cat Meeko has been watching Keramon on the screen. She scampers off as soon as the boys enter.

Agumon and Tentomon appear on the screen, ready to roll.

Koushiro: Transfer complete. Taichi: Agumon!

Inside the internet, Agumon and Tentomon soar through the dataspace on their way to Keramon. Taichi and Koushiro appear like billboards in their path.

Agumon: Taichi! Koushiro! We're here! Taichi: We're counting on you, Agumon! Koushiro: Tentomon, this is a pre-emptive strike. It hasn't noticed us yet.

No idea where the other six got off to. Tailmon's an Adult. She could probably wreck Keramon's shit even without Hikari on-hand.

The dub cuts the ferris wheel bits and jumps straight to Meeko at the computer. She seems to be surfing the kitty web.

Computer Voice: Thank you for visiting Cat Voice: MEOW Computer Voice: .com. Tai: Meeko, get down from there! (Tai and Izzy sprint to the computer) Tai: Agumon and Tentomon should be on the internet by now! (Cut to internet interior) Tentomon: Does this information superhighway have a rest stop!? I've gotta go potty! Agumon: You should have gone before we left! Just hold it! Tai: You're gonna need a password! Izzy: You can use mine to get on the internet: Prodigious! Agumon & Tentomon: PRODIGIOUS!!! Tai: THEY'RE IN!!! Agumon: So this is what the internet looks like. They need new wallpaper. Tentomon: I hope this doesn't take too long. It's my bath night!

The bit about the password is referencing another set of screens they pass, which shows a password being entered and then suddenly reads "ENTER". The original never references or explains what that's about, so the dub filled the gap.

So, so many quips.

Izzy's password would be incredibly easy to crack if you knew him personally. Which basically means that only his friends can access his stuff without his knowledge. That feels like a personal choice more than a mistake.

Arriving in the internet, it doesn't take long to find Keramon hungrily devouring a stream of data.

Oh wow. Look at it go.

Tentomon: Shall we go!? Agumon: Huh!?

Before Agumon realizes this has started, Tentomon takes the first shot. His Petit Thunder hits Keramon dead-on, electrocing it and announcing their presence. Agumon follows up with multiple shots of Baby Flame, which all seem to hit home.

Taichi: YES!!!

Keramon, recovering, sends another enigmatic email to Koushiro. This one reads simply アソブ asobu. Again, because it's in Katakana, these are just sounds. But 遊ぶ asobu is a verb that means "to play". Keramon thinks Koushiro's playing with it.

(We know that well. It was one of Pinocchimon's favorite words. Also I'm kinda starting to feel bad for Keramon. I'm not sure that it actually knows better. I think it might just... be a kid.)

Taichi: What do you mean, 'play'!? Let's just defeat it quickly. Koushiro: Tentomon, evolve! Tentomon: Right!

While Agumon and Tentomon undergo their Magical Girl transformation sequences, we once again cut to various children around the world at computers. The other kids who witnessed the Digitama's creation, who are now watching this happen in real-time.

In the dub:

Izzy: There he is! Go get him! Tentomon: (whispering) He doesn't know we're here yet. Agumon: (whispering) Let's sneak up on him quietly. Tentomon: SUPER SHOCKER!!! Agumon: That's quietly!? PEPPER BREATH!!! (Their shots land) Tai: Huh!? That should have worked but it didn't! (Keramon recovers) Tai: Hey! Keramon's sending us an email! It says "So you like to play games, huh?" I've got a bad feeling about this, Agumon. Agumon: Mhm! Izzy: Better Digivolve, both of you, now.

Like the "I'm hungry" email, the dub rewrote this one in English too.

There's a tonal shift here. Taichi and Koushiro are going super-aggro and picking this fight. They are unambiguously the aggressors here. As Koushiro said, this is a pre-emptive strike. This isn't a thing yet; We're going hard and trying to kill Keramon before this can become a thing.

Strangling a potential future problem in its crib. It's pretty morally dubious the more you think about it. Are we the baddies?

The dub makes Keramon's response email more threatening and ominous. That way, when Tai and Izzy escalate to Adult forms, it's because they're on the backfoot and freaked out by the message.

In any case, the fight is on.

The area of the internet they're in seems to be, like, the programming for an amusement park based on all the amusement park imagery. Probably Pallet Town, the entertainment center where the Daikanransha can be found.

Since the dub skipped the ferris wheel, this just looks like random psychedelic imagery in that version. But there's ferris wheels and carousels and stuff floating in the void because Keramon's eating an amusement park.

In a goofy moment, Greymon and Kabuterimon both land on the ring of horses and carriages spinning around the exterior of the void and use it as a springboard. When they land on the ring, the flat images of horses whinny in protest.

Greymon and Kabuterimon chase down Keramon. Keramon fires off energy shots from its mouth. Kabuterimon returns fire with three shots of his Mega Blaster, which Keramon swerves around - Only to take Greymon's Mega Flame dead-on. Exploding in fire, Keramon lets out a pitiful shriek.

Kabuterimon: Nice! Taichi: It's so weak! Koushiro: Hang on.

On the computer screen, a data stream of 66666666666666 flows into Keramon. The image of Keramon suddenly evolves once more into a new form.

The dub keeps the bits where Greymon and Kabuterimon spring off the carousel ring. However, as usual, the sound effects get lost. No comical whinny protests. With the gag removed, it just seems like an unusually slow bit of action choreography.

They also take out Keramon's pathetic wail when hit by Nova Blast.

Keramon calls his attack Bug Blaster in the dub. It has no name in the original. In fact, nobody's calling attacks in the original; Not even the Partner Digimon. Additionally, Keramon only communicates by email in the original. It has no voiced lines.

Tai: You guys make this stuff look easy! Izzy: Um, hold that thought! Tai: Huh? Keramon: Keramon, Digivolve to: Infermon!

As the dub notes, its new form is called Infermon, named for the Inferno. Y'know. Hell. It's Hellmon.

If you've played one of the games that came out after this film and realized what's wrong here, shhhhhhh, spoilers. The boys haven't noticed yet. :P

Visibly, Infermon leaves its jellyfish shape behind and more resembles an insect, like an ant or cockroach. Y'know. Because bug.

Taichi: It evolved! Koushiro: That's okay. It's in the Adult stage now, same as ours.

Infermon's little feetsies work as suction cups to adhere it to a surface. We know that because it makes little suction cup sounds every time it steps or jumps.

Taking the offensive, it lunges and uses its bulk to try and crush Greymon and Kabuterimon. The pair dodge, floating in the internet's antigravity, and return fire with their own shots.

Though Greymon and Kabuterimon's shots hit home, there's no telltale shriek this time.

Greymon: Did we get it?

Greymon's question is answered when Infermon, unimpeded by their attacks, lunges through the smoke cloud their shots made. Pulling its limbs and head into itself, Infermon becomes a single aerodynamic bullet hurtling their direction.

Greymon and Kabuterimon fire off shot after shot into Infermon, but their attacks glance harmlessly off its impenetrable exoskeleton. They're forced to dodge aside just before its colossal size rips past them.

Kabuterimon: We can't even scratch it! What is going on here!?

Before anyone can answer, Infermon opens its mouth and fires multiple shots form a cannon inside. Greymon dodges the first volley but Kabuterimon takes a hit.

Kabuterimon: AUGH!!! Greymon: KABUTERIMON--HUAGH!!!

While Greymon's distracted, the second volley hits him, starting with a direct hit to the side of his face.

Taichi: GREYMON!!!

This is going bad.

In the dub:

Infermon: Nyegh! Tai: No way! He Digivolved again! Izzy: I've never seen this before. Now he's at the Champion level like Greymon and Kabuterimon! Infemon: Hmhmhmhmhm....

Yeah, Infermon's a chuckler now.

(Greymon and Kabuterimon take shots) Greymon: Yeah! Kabuterimon: Alright! (Infermon lunges) Greymon: What!? Infermon: Hehehehehehe.... (Infermon coasts right through their attacks) Greymon: He's stronger than a Champion! Infermon: SPIDER SHOOTER!!! (Infermon shoots Kabuterimon) Greymon: KABUTERIMO-- WHOA!!! (Infermon shoots Greymon) Tai: Greymon, no!

There's not a lot of actual words in this sequence and yet it still feels so different due to the decision to give Infermon a voice.

It's at that moment that Koushiro realizes the truth.

Koushiro: Taichi-san, I figured it out. Taichi: Huh? Koushiro: It's at Perfect-stage! Taichi: Then, a moment ago.... Koushiro: It evolved two stages. Taichi: Why...?

Yeah, that's what fans of the games that came later probably noticed. Keramon evolves into the Adult-stage Chrysalimon before going to Infermon as its Perfect form. Because of this sudden jump, Chrysalimon will not be appearing in this film.

Taichi: Then we'll evolve to Ultimate-stage too!

Good plan, but no. As Greymon and Kabuterimon begin Super-Evolving, Infermon lunges suddenly.

Taichi: (gasp) Koushiro: It's attacking while we're evolving!

Taking potshots from its mouth cannon, Infermon obliterates MetalGreymon and AtlurKabuterimon before they can even emerge from their Super-Evolutions.

After erasing its Perfect competition before they could even power up, Infermon lands. It begins vibrating and letting out this high-pitched cackle that sounds as much like a siren as a laugh.

Infermon: Yahahahahahaha! Yahahahahahaha! Yahahahahahaha!

THAT'S RIGHT THE DUB WAS CORRECT. Infermon is a chuckler.

A little button marked EXIT appears next to Infermon. It presses the button to open a passage back into the open internet. Then, blip-blopping on its suction cups, it spider-crawls its goofy ass away into the passage.

(Good thing we were just playing. I'd hate to see what would have happened if it knew we were trying to kill it! :P)

In the dub:

Izzy: I think I've got it figured out now! Tai: Huh? Izzy: He's bypassed the Champion level and Digivolved straight into the Ultimate level! He's too strong for our Digimon now! Tai: Then they're just gonna have to Digivolve again! (Digivolutions begin) Infermon: Not. So. Fast. Rrrrargh! (lunge) (as the Digimon Digivolve, Infermon comes in swiftly) Izzy: He's gotta Digivolve faster! (Infermon takes them both out) Infermon: Hehehahahahaha! Ahahahahahaha!

Pretty much the same. Though the dub doesn't have Infermon's goofy blip-blop suction cup sounds. Instead, it goes for this writhing insect sound, like a million bugs crawling over something at once.

With Infermon gone, Taichi and Koushiro are left to lick their wounds.

Pay no attention to the fact that all Taichi can see from this angle is a whole lotta butthole.

Taichi: Are you okay, Agumon? Agumon: Sorry, Taichi.... Koushiro: Tentomon! Tentomon: That thing is monstrous....

Relieved that their Partners survived, Taichi and Koushiro take a moment to sit in silence and breathe. Then, quietly, Koushiro speaks up.

Koushiro: We'll need to let them rest for a while. Taichi: (punches floor) Fuck! Isn't it cheating to mess with someone's evolution!?

(Somewhere in the Digital World, the reincarnated Etemon sneezes.)

Koushiro: Taichi-san, we got an email from someone in Australia.

The message reads, "Earlier. Was that what's called a Digital Monster? This is my first time seeing one. ~Toma"

Koushiro: He said it's his first time seeing a Digital Monster. Taichi: He was watching the fight just now? Koushiro: Ah, this one is from Singapore.

Koushiro opens up another email. This one reads, "There were two bodies against one body so how did they lose? Are they just weak? -Jane"

If that sounds like it was run through Google Translate, it's because it was. The email actually comes through in English first, then Koushiro's email software converts it line-by-line into Japanese. The actual message Jane wrote was, in all-caps, "THEY ARE NOTHING, KOZ THEY LOST IN SPITE OF DOUBLE FIGURES. -JANE"

That's much more rude.

Koushiro: "How were you weak enough to lose despite it being 2-on-1?" Taichi: Shut up! Koushiro: (scrolling through a long list of emails) What else do we--Oh! It's an email from the jellyfish.

Koushiro clicks on Infermon's email, revealing a profile pic of the creature's new face and the message moshi moshi moshi moshi moshi moshi moshi moshi moshi moshi just... repeating over and over and over again, line by line.

I don't think it knows how to use that phrase. To be fair, its age can be measured in hours.

Taichi: Moshi moshi moshi moshi... What the heck? Koushiro: This is really bad! Taichi: Huh?

Koushiro points at the email's From line. Infermon sent it from "@@@@@@djm.ntt.co.jp/sys/switchboard". That's gibberish to Taichi but it's making Koushiro piss himself.

Koushiro: Look at the email address! That thing is now inside the NTT system! Taichi: NTT? Koushiro: We need to contact everyone quickly!

Koushiro doesn't explain the urgency, but NTT or Nippon Telegraph and Telephone Company is one of the largest telecommunications companies on Earth. A closeup on the phone jack shows that NTT is, in fact, providing the Yagami home's service.

So. Uh. Yeah. That's bad.

In the dub:

Tai: Agumon, say something! Agumon: (woozy) Don't take me out, coach.... Izzy: Tentomon! Tentomon: I'm fine! Just one question... Who's Tentomon? Izzy: They'll be okay, Tai. They just need to rest for a while. Tai: (sigh) I can't believe that two Digimon at the champion level weren't enough. (punches floor) We're NEVER gonna be able to defeat this thing! Izzy: Check this out, Tai! We're getting emails from all over the world. Here's one from that kid Willis in America. It says "Izzy, I'm sorry. This is all my fault. Find a way to slow him down."

The dub once again draws new art to create Willis's email, slotting it in over Toma's. It says exactly what Izzy read off, but contains no signature.

Then they cut the footage from Jane's email and go straight to Infermon.

Izzy: Hey, Infermon is emailing us too!

Don't know why Izzy knows that name. Keramon was excused because he said "My name is Keramon" right after Digivolving, but this is the first mention of the name Infermon out-loud.

Infermon's email is also rewritten to read "Hello!Hello!Hello!Hello!Hello!Hello!" for many lines.

Tai: Why's he saying "Hello" over and over again? Izzy: Look at the address! Tai: Huh? Izzy: He's at the telephone company taking over all the phone lines! If we lose our phone connection, we're finished! That's the only way we have access to the internet!

Izzy spells out the implication since American children can't be expected to recognize the NTT by brand.

Taichi's first call is Hikari, which makes sense since she's the only one he actually reached the first time.

At the party, the girls are playing Old Maid. Birthday girl does not seem to be doing well but she's got a big smile on her face nonetheless. The girl on the far right, the one who hissed at Hikari for being on the phone, draws the Joker from the girl next to her. All the girls have a good laugh about it.

Girl 2: Did you get the Old Maid? Girl 1: Be honest, Noriko-chan!

Noriko-chan shakes her lying head like a liar, and they all giggle.

Suddenly, Birthday Girl stops laughing and glares at Hikari, who is once again on the phone. Given her vacant spot across from birthday girl and next to Noriko, it's probably Hikari's turn.

Noriko-chan: (hisses) Hikari-chan.... Hikari: (on phone, holding only one card) No, I can't just leave when I'm about to win first place. Taichi: It's fine! Just get out of the game and come home! (hangs up)

In Hikari's defense, she does have a solid shot at winning. It's her and the girl to her left that have one card left apiece. If she can match this card, she wins.

But also, Old Maid isn't exactly a game you can just drop out of easily. If she can't match the card, then she'll have two cards and be in for at least two more rounds. This is basically a more complicated version of Go Fish. If she has cards in hand and leaves... what happens with her cards? It might just ruin the game. And at a birthday party!

Devastating consequences for her social life.

(This is, of course, nowhere near as important as stopping Infermon from eating the global internet. But Taichi hasn't exactly been forthcoming with context to... basically anyone in this special. All she knows is that her domineering brother keeps calling and yelling at her to stop having fun.)

The dub cuts this whole scene. There is no second call to Kari at the birthday party.

Taichi moves along down the list.

Taichi: Next. (dials) Phone: Beep. Beep. Beep. Taichi: Busy signal!? Damn. (hangs up, dials) Phone: Beep. Beep. Beep. Taichi: Another busy signal! (hangs up, dials) Phone: Beep. Beep. Beep. Taichi: Jou's place too!? (hangs up, dials) Phone: Beep. Beep. Beep. Taichi: (distraught) Even Yamato's house!? Taichi: It's busy everywhere. Koushiro: What about Sora's place? Taichi: But we already tried there!

A subtle note: After Hikari, Taichi makes four calls. He identifies the third as Jou and the fourth as Yamato. It's unclear if he tried Sora in the first two, then tried Yamato and Takeru's grandma for the last, or if he didn't call Sora and instead called Yamato and Takeru separately despite knowing they're at their grandma's.

"We already tried Sora" could mean that she was one of the busy signals, or it could mean "We called her earlier and she told me to go fuck myself off a cliff."

But either way, one of those calls he made was to Mimi's explicitly vacant house. Where he got a busy signal. That shouldn't happen.

A subtle but early warning of what's really happening.

Suddenly, Taichi's phone rings. He answers to the most flagrantly computer-generated text-to-speech voice ever.

Taichi: Moshi moshi! Text-to-Speech: Moshi moshi/Moshi moshi/Moshi moshi/Moshi moshi Taichi: (gasps, freaked out) ...not good....

Really selling Infermon's text-to-speech, each set of moshi moshi has an audible jump, like a static break that inorganically bleeds the end of the second moshi into the beginning of the first as the audio sample loops.

In the dub:

Tai: I've gotta warn everyone! (dials) Operator: All circuits are busy. Try again later. Tai: Oh, great! It's busy! ...Mimi! (dials) Operator: All circuits are busy. Try again later. Tai: Come on! How could that be busy too!? (dials) Operator: All circuits are still busy. Tai: Don't tell me.... (dials) Operator: Did you hear me!? Tai: What? Operator: IT'S BUSY!!! Tai: I'm sorry, lady.... (hangs up) All the phones are dead! Izzy: That Digimon did it! Tai: Not a single call can get through! (phone rings, Tai answers) Tai: Hello, this is Tai. Infermon: Hello! Did you program me? Hehehahahahahaha! Tai: It's Infermon!

In the original, as we're about to see, this call isn't unique to Tai. People all across Japan are about to receive these text-to-speech calls. So the dub changing it to Infermon directly taunting Tai is a bit more of a change than it appears at first glance and continues the trend of this Digimon being a lot more verbose in the dub.

Across Japan, phones begin ringing off the hook. Landlines, cell phones, every kind of phone.

Taichi: What is going on!? Koushiro: It's inside the phone switch server and making calls everywhere. It's trying to crash the lines. Taichi: Oh, that's bad. Without the phone lines, we can't contact the others, not to mention the internet-- Koushiro: AH!!! Taichi: Huh? Koushiro: (horrified) ...it disconnected.

Well. That's that. After winning the fistfight, Infermon has nuked our ability to even try that shit again. Its hunger will not be denied.

Out front, Yuuko's cake is baking in the microwave while she watches the news, blissfully unaware of what's happening on the internet.

News: Breaking news, the phones in the Tokyo metropolitan area are temporarily out of service. Yuuko: A lot of things happening today.... News: According to NTT, this is due to heavy phone traffic and some areas have stopped working due to the call volume.

Koushiro explodes out of Susumu's office and sprints for the front door.

Yuuko: Oh, leaving already, Koushiro-kun? Koushiro: I'll be right back!

As Koushiro hurries out the door, Taichi drags his feet to the couch and flops headfirst over it.

Taichi: (wailing) Mooooom.... Yuuko: What's wrong, Taichi? Taichi: It's hopeless! Yuuko: What are you talking about?

No idea what Koushiro's planning, but clearly he's more convinced there's still a chance than Taichi is.

In the dub, this is completely changed.

Kari (V.O.): Talk about speed-dialing! Infermon was looking for someone. He was calling every phone number in the world. Tai: His long-distance bill will be enormous! Izzy: (gasp) Tai: What? Izzy: (horrified) Connection... terminated.... Tai: (horrified) What... next.... (Cut to the cake) Yuuko: KIDS!!! Cake's almost ready!

It is not. Yuuko is lying. The cake still has 30 minutes left to go.

News: Phones have gone dead worldwide. If your telephone is dead, please call your phone company. Yuuko: Well, at least my sister can't call me three times a day. (Izzy explodes from the office and races for the door) Izzy: See ya! Yuuko: Are you leaving so soon? Izzy: Don't worry! I'll be back! Save me a piece of cake! Tai: (emerges, groaning) Yuuko: What's the matter with you? Tai: (groans louder) Yuuko: Hey, have you heard? The phones are out!

Original Infermon crashes the Tokyo metro area's phone network so the children can no longer mess with it. Dub Infermon crashes the entire globe's phone network because he's looking for someone; Presumably Willis, given his dub-exclusive email.

A lot of the dialogue here is just quipping, but Yuuko's salt-in-the-wound final line is solid gold. XD

From here, we go to Yamato and Takeru's grandma's home. Takeru is giving Grandma a back massage.

News: Currently, technicians are working to restore the downed switches and are urging consumers to refrain from using the phone or cell phone services. Grandma: Ahhh... A little more....

Takeru glances over to Yamato, who's receiving a busy signal from the phone.

Yamato: That Taichi... What could he want?

It's Taichi's turn to be 太一の奴 Taichi no yatsu. Yamato clearly isn't happy about having his vacation at grandma's interrupted for unspecified reasons.

We move back to the Yagami residence as the news continues.

News: However, if it is necessary to get in touch with someone, you may use the emergency voice mail system by dialing 171. Taichi: Huh? News: With the emergency mail system, your message will be stored even when the system is down or busy. Created in 1995.... Taichi: That's... That's it!

Taichi has a new plan! Stop that, Infermon!

...nobody tell Infermon or it might eat the emergency voice mail system.

In the dub:

News: The stock market is in chaos and people are rioting in the streets. Grandma: Ahhhh, that's nice. (Matt's getting a busy signal) Matt: Huh!? Tai says call, then he won't get off the phone! News: We interrupt this programming for a special bulletin. T.K.: Huh? Grandma: Goody! I bet it's one of those high-speed chases! (Cut back to Kamiya household) News: The phone company has set up an emergency voicemail system. Simply dial 171 for easy instructions. Tai: Huh!? Kari (V.O.): Believe me, it wasn't so easy. First you had to leave a message, then call back to pick up a message. Basically, it was just playing phone tag. Tai: Perfect! Voice mail!

The U.S. doesn't have any sort of equivalent to Japan's Disaster Emergency Message system, so the dub has to invent it as a brand new thing the phone companies are doing in this extreme global phone blackout.

With Narrator Kari stepping in to explain how such a thing even works.

I love that Matt gets snippy with Tai here, assuming the reason he can't get through is because Tai won't get off the phone. After Tai attacked Mimi for that same thing earlier, it's well-deserved. :P

Now armed with this new tool, Taichi once again tries to make calls.

Recording: This is the emergency voice mail system. To record a message, press one. Phone: (beep) Taichi: Moshimoshi, Yamato! As soon as you get this call, send a reply! It's important! Phone: (beep) Taichi: Jou! As soon as you get this call, send a reply! Phone: (beep) Taichi: Hikari! I told you to come home! Phone: (beep) Taichi: Sora! I'll apologize for the other day. So if you get this call, please respond right away!

Meanwhile, directly outside Taichi's front door, Sora hesitates with her finger over the doorbell button. After a moment's hesitation, she withdraws her finger and walks away.

Sora: Stupid Taichi.

...I don't think she's going to get this call any time soon, Taichi. Sorry.

In the dub:

Recording: To leave a message, press one. To retrieve a message, press two. (beep) Please leave your message at the tone. (beep) Tai: Matt! T.K.! This is an emergency! Call me right away! Oh, by the way, this is Tai! (beep) Tai: (angrily) Kari, if you want to see any of your toys again, get home right away! (beep) Tai: Sora! Sora, listen, I'm sorry about the hairpin but I need to talk to you right away! Call me! Or just come over! (Meanwhile, outside) Sora: ...ugh... Stupid Tai. (turns around and leaves) Hmph!

The call to Jou gets cut from the dub. Probably for time, since they're trying to trim three different OVAs down for this movie. I like that Tai remembers T.K. is with Matt, though.

With that, Taichi has one more call to make.

Taichi: Mimi-chan! As soon as you get this call, send a reply! Yuuko: Oh, I forgot! Taichi: Huh? What is it?

Leaving the kitchen, Yuuko pulls a card out of her pocket and gives it to Taichi.

Yuuko: Mimi-chan sent us this postcard. Taichi: Eh!? Mimi-chan!? W... Where is she?

Taichi snatches the postcard out of Yuuko's hand.

Taichi: HAWAIII!?!?

Cut to Mimi on a sunny beach, stretching and yawning.

Mimi: HAWAII IS SO NICE!!!

Somehow, she seems even less likely to answer Taichi's message than Sora.

In the dub:

Tai: Hi, Mimi! It's Tai. Please come over to my house as soon as you get this message! Goodbye! Yuuko: Oh, that reminds me. Tai: Huh? Yuuko: You got this postcard in the mail from Mimi. Tai: WHAT!?!? (Tai snatches the postcard) Tai: She's on vacation!? In Hawaii!? Ugh... Mimi.... (Cut to Mimi in Hawaii) Mimi: Hawaii is paradise! I don't have a care in the world! And I'm wishing you were HERE!!! Hahahahahahahahaha!

What a lovely place to leave off part 1, on this moment of pure jubilation and bliss. No, don't look at image 3, this is a happy moment. Everything is wonderful here.

#digimon #digimon adventure #revisiting digimon #revisiting digimon adventure

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tobiasdrake · 4 months ago

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Digimon Adventure 01x30 - The Digimon's Great Traversal of Tokyo / Almost Home Free

Previously on Digimon Adventure: The Chosen Children searched for the Eighth Child in Hikarigaoka's local library, where they were able to look up a copy of the OVA and remember the plot. Mammon tried to cause a ruckus when they got to the Parrotmon part but it's okay 'cause Garudamon stepped out and took care of it.

The Chosen Children and Tailmon's mercenaries have all failed to find the Eighth Child in Hikarigaoka. But the Children have learned much about how they were Chosen.

This episode comes with a trigger warning: Human adults being child predators.

We open on PicoDevimon reporting back to Vamdemon about what happened.

Vamdemon: What? Garudamon has been sighted? PicoDevimon: Yes, sir. It's been reported that the Chosen Children have arrived in this world. Vamdemon: Have you located the Eighth Child yet? PicoDevimon: We're currently raising our efforts and expanding our search perimeter.

As he speaks, we see glimpses of Tailmon and a few mercs no longer in silhouette.

Tailmon is roaming around the city, continuing her manual search from last episode.

Wizarmon is street performing at the amusement park to lure in children so he check the counterfeit Crest against a crowd.

SkullMeramon is skulking about in a trenchcoat watching children like a creep.

Gesomon is patrolling the waterways. I... guess he's looking for water children?

(Wizarmon is the stand-out smart guy of the bunch. He's letting the children come to him in an innocuous fashion. SkullMeramon, meanwhile, is likely to be reported to police by concerned onlookers. As he should; He has hostile intentions towards children.)

Vamdemon: The children must also be looking for the Eighth Child. Hurry! We cannot let the children gain the upper hand! PicoDevimon: Yes, sir!

Almost no change in the dub, with the exception of silence-breaking dialogue added to the shots of the searching Digimon.

DemiDevimon: We're looking everywhere! Air, land, and sea! We've got it covered, no problem!

I'm as confused by why the Eighth Child would be in the air as I am by why she'd be in the sea.

Then again... frame of reference. Aerial children and aquatic children are completely normal where Tailmon and PicoDevimon come from.

Meanwhile, the children make plans to leave Hikarigaoka.

Taichi: If the Eighth Child's not here in Hikarigaoka, we should hurry up and look in other places. We can't waste time here or Vamdemon will get ahead of us. Mimi: But couldn't they just be goofing off somewhere? Koushiro: No, I don't think so. The other connection between all of us is.... Sora: We all moved away from Hikarigaoka? Koushiro: Yes. Unless that is a coincidence, we should assume that the Eighth Child also moved. Taichi: So they could be in Odaiba like us? Koushiro: That is our most likely possibility. Mimi: (excited) I want to go home! Taichi: Yeah... Alright, let's head for Odaiba first!

Irony: We didn't actually need to come to Hikarigaoka and spent all that time manipulating Fujiyama for nothing. And now we have to find a way to reach Odaiba 27 miles away, because we got off our transport to Odaiba so we could come to Hikarigaoka.

The dub skips the discussion of why we're going to Odaiba. Tai is convinced right from the get-go that the Eighth Child is in Odaiba, for reasons unexplained.

Mimi: Can we get a snack before we go looking? Tai: There's no time. We've got to get to Odaiba and find that Eighth Kid before somebody else does! Mimi: How will we get there? Do you think there's any fast food places along the way? Tai: Would you knock it off about the food? Anyway, we've only got enough money for our subway tickets. Joe: Subway? Oh, wow. My parents won't let me ride the subway by myself. Tai: You're not by yourself. Now come on! Mimi: Are subways like regular trains? I mean, do they have snack cars? Tai: JUST DROP IT!!! And stick together, everybody. It can get kind of confusing down here.

They also tweak Mimi's dialogue so that Tai can yell at her. This one's a bit odd, in that it actually fits Mimi's established characterization from the original pretty well. As we know from the Kentarumon episode, Mimi's stubborn when she's hangry. So, unlike the Valley Girl bits, this bit is rooted in her original persona pretty well.

But I'm still miffed that Mimi gets three lines in this scene and they're all prompts for Tai to tell her to shut the fuck up.

Also, Joe gets one too. Pretty much the entire scene has been replaced with Tai dunking on Joe and Mimi to show how much of a boss he is. Izzy, the actual main character of this scene, doesn't even get a word in.

The Chosen Children descend into the incredibly complex Tokyo rail network.

Jou: Let's see... The fastest way to reach Odaiba is.... Mimi: (shrug) I can't tell because there's so many routes available. Koushiro: (laptop) Please wait just a minute. The fastest way to get there is... If we take the Toei #12 Line from here to Nakano-sakaue, transfer to the Marunouchi and Ginza Lines and leave from Shimbashi, the Yurikamome route will take us to Odaiba. Taichi: Okay then! (approaching ticket machine) Let's head to Nakano-sakaue first.

Glad we have Koushiro here to Computers our way through the incredibly intimidating Tokyo rail network because Jou probably would have been here all day and Mimi, I'm sorry but you are no help here.

In the dub, Joe starts us off with a quip and Mimi's still on about the food.

Joe: I just hope Myotismon has as much trouble reading this map as I do. Mimi: Okay, what do we do now!? Besides starve to death! Izzy: I'm just figuring it out. ...okay, that'll work. Now, the fastest route to Odaiba is to take the #12 train to Nagano and transfer to the Marunouchi Line. Then transfer to the Ginza and get off at Shimbashi. Mimi: ...huh? Tai: Sounds simple enough. (approaching ticket machine) Now we just have to figure out the right fare.

Surprisingly, Izzy relays Koushiro's directions for navigating the Tokyo subway system almost word for word.

He cuts Nakano-sakaue down to "Nagano". Point off for mispronouncing it, but dropping the "-sakaue" isn't necessarily wrong. Nakano-sakaue is the name of the subway station for Nakano Ward, so both ways of saying it work.

In a refreshing change of pace, this scene is completely unafraid to be in Japan. They even show us the subway map unedited, with all of its Japanese text marking the different stations intact.

While Taichi's buying tickets, the Digimon chime in.

Koromon: (hops up on the counter) Hey Taichi, what's that? Taichi: A ticket. This is what we use to ride the subway. Palmon: Subway? Patamon: What's that? Jou: Shhh! Don't talk so much in front of other people. This place isn't like your world. If anyone sees you talking, they'll cause a fuss. Sora: Listen, while you're here, you need to pretend to be stuffed animals. You can't move around, okay? I know it's going to be tough, but please bear with it. Pyokomon: Okay, I understand! I won't talk or move. It's much easier to be carried around by Sora anyway. (wiggles and sings) Hehe ~Sora~-- Sora: I just said not to move!

It's not easy being Digimon in the human world. I feel for them. I'd hate to have to pretend to be a plushie all day too.

(Oh, so that's why Mimi's so hungry. Off-model Chonky Patamon ate all the food. Now he can see through time.)

The dub follows the script until it gets to Sora and Yokomon. Pyokomon's bit is a callback to her and Sora's first episode on File Island, but the dub cut the clingy ~Sora ~Sora ~Sora conflict from the episode so the callback doesn't work here. Instead, Yokomon has an idea.

Sora: Yeah, while we're here, you've got to pretend to be toys or stuffed animals. But remember to keep still and no fidgeting. Yokomon: Here's an idea! I'll be one of those dolls you told me about. The kind where you squeeze them and they go... (wiggles and sings) ...WAHH! WAHH! WAHH! Sora: Be a doll that doesn't talk!

Once the tickets are purchased, IT'S FIGHTING TIME!!!

...wait, what?

While the Chosen Children wait for the train, Tsunomon and Koromon start chatting despite what Jou said a moment ago.

Koromon: Is this a cave? Tsunomon: It's a weird cave. Yamato: (hisses) Hey! Be quiet. Announcer: The train is arriving on time. Please remain behind the white line.

Hearing the rumbling of the approaching train, the two Baby Digimon grow concerned.

Koromon: W-What's that sound? Tsunomon: Is that a Digimon's voice!? Koromon: LOOK!!! THERE'S SOMETHING GLOWING IN THE CAVE!!! Tsunomon: That's it! It must be one of Vamdemon's minions!

Before Taichi and Yamato realize what's happening, Koromon and Tsunomon leap onto the goddamn train tracks to fight the oncoming train.

Taichi: HUH!?!? Yamato: TSUNOMON!!!

They realize their mistake once they see the train approach. It's not super clear how Koromon and Tsunomon survive this, but they're intact after it passes and seem to have pressed themselves against the back wall to avoid being hit.

Fortunately, this train is apparently not stopping here and speeds right on past. I guess that one isn't not ours.

In the dub:

Koromon: It's some kind of cave. Tsunomon: I don't like being underground. Yamato: Hey! Put a lid on it. Announcer: Attention, attention. #12 train now arriving at platform 7. Koromon: What? Where'd that voice come from. Tsunomon: You heard it!? Then it's not just inside my head! Koromon: SOMETHING'S COMING!!! Tsunomon: LOOK AT THOSE GLOWING EYES!!! IT'S ONE OF MYOTISMON'S GOONS!!! (Koromon and Tsunomon leap onto the tracks) Tai: HEY!!! Matt: Watch out!

The dub puts a commercial break right here, moments before the train threatens to splatter Koromon and Tsunomon. Which is honestly a great place for it. A+ commercial placement. Solid cliffhanger to keep the kids from changing the channel.

It also claims that this is the train we're waiting for. Which makes it odd that the train doesn't stop at our platform. Excuse you, we would like to get on, please.

The kids board the subway with their "stuffed animals".

It does not go well.

The seven Chosen Children have a row of seats to themselves on the crowded train, with their Digimon in their laps.

Taichi: (angrily) Making me worry....

Taichi punches Koromon in the head for that stunt.

In the dub, it's:

Tai: We can't take you guys anywhere!

Suddenly, they overhear a baby crying. A woman, forced to stand for lack of available seating, is trying to soothe her crying baby. Sora stands up, offering her seat to the woman.

Mother: There, there. Stop crying and be a good boy. Sora: (stands) Um, here you go. Mother: Oh! Thank you so much. (sits, patting her baby) Good boy... Good boy... Don't cry.

Suddenly, the baby stops crying. He sees Pyokomon in Sora's arms. Without warning, he reaches out and grabs her pistil.

(RUDE. In case you are not familiar with the anatomy of a flower, that orange stem sticking up from Pyokomon is her pistil. It's the female sex organ, containing her seed pod. The yellow ones are her stamens, which are male sex organs that produce pollen for germinating the pistil. Flowers have both.

This child is basically yanking Pyokomon's ovaries. Her pistil and stamen may be strictly aesthetic but it's still rude!)

The child's mother is oblivious to the yanking, having shut her eyes to enjoy a blissful moment of rest once her child stopped crying.

Sora: E-Excuse me. Mother: Huh? ...oh, I'm so sorry. Come on....

She tries to pull her child's hand off of Pyokomon's pistil, but that infuriates the boy. He starts yelling and tugging harder, as if trying to rip the pistil out.

Mochimon: ...that has to hurt....

Finally, Pyokomon reaches her breaking point and screams.

Pyokomon: THAT HURTS!!! STOP PULLING ON ME!!!

The entire train goes deathly quiet.

In the dub:

Mother: Aww, there now. Hush. Come on. Sora: (stands) Here, take my seat. Mother: Huh? Oh! Thank you! (sits) Wasn't that nice of that girl? We've been on our feet all day, haven't we? (The mom shuts her eyes and the baby starts yanking on Yokomon) Sora: Uhh! Excuse me! Mother: Huh? Oh! What are you doing now!? No... (The mother tires to pull the baby's hand away; The baby yanks harder) Mother: No no, honey! Let go now! That's the girl's toy. Come on! Honey! Motimon: Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Mother: Oh come on, honey. Let go of the girl's toy before you break it! HONEY.... Yokomon: HEY!!! WILL YOU LET GO OF ME!?!?

The mother gets some silence-breaking dialogue during the hard yanking, which comes through pretty well here. We don't really see much of the mom after that initial attempt, so the implied continued effort to control her child is good for the scene, I think.

Also, "We've been on our feet all day, haven't we?" is a lovely addition to the scene. I really like the dub's take on the mom here.

I do think the original version of Pyokomon's outburst hits harder than Yokomon's. Pyokomon breaks protocol because her pain tolerance has hit its limit and she can't take any more of this torture. Motimon tries to sell it and we do see Yokomon grimacing in pain, but Yokomon's line just sounds like she's mad that her personal space is being violated.

For a good ten seconds after Pyokomon's outburst, you can hear a pin drop. Then a kid points and shouts.

Kid: IT TALKED!!! THE DOLL TALKED!!! Sora: (lightbulb) That must have hurt! You poor thing! There, there....

Sora gently pets Pyokomon and whispers the plan to her. From here, when Pyokomon speaks, Sora covers Pyokomon's mouth with her hand and subtly moves her own lips to make it look like she's throwing her voice.

Sora: (whisper) Play along with whatever I say. Pyokomon: U-Uh-huh. Sora: (loudly) But you know, the baby only did that because he really likes you, Pyokomon! Pyokomon: Really? Sora: It's true! So forgive him for what he did, okay? Pyokomon: I'm sorry for yelling at you.

The plan works. The baby starts laughing and having a good time.

The dub starts this scene with another Good Actually silence-destroying line, with a bewildered Sora attempting to explain. Meanwhile, the pointing kid is noticeably played by Izzy's actor trying and failing to differentiate his voice by putting on a Rough Kid tone.

Sora: ...I guess my toy didn't like when you pulled on it.... Kid: Did you hear that!? That stuffed animal talked! Sora: ...AH! It worked! All that practice is paying off! Fooled 'em, didn't we? (pets Yokomon and whispers) Hush, just keep quiet and play along.

In the original, Pyokomon speaks while Sora subtly but visibly moves her lips to disguise the source of her voice. Sora holds her hand over Pyokomon's mouth to disguise the movement of Pyokomon's own mouth, so it looks like the one speaking is really Sora.

In the dub, Sora tells Yokomon to keep quiet, then she badly attempts to imitate Yokomon's voice with her subtle lip flaps.

Sora: Come on! The baby pulled your hair because he likes you, that's all! Sora-Yokomon: Oh, really? Sora: There's no reason to bite the poor thing's head off! Sora-Yokomon: Oh! I'm very sorry I shouted!

Since Sora has no experience with ventriloquism and obviously can't be throwing her voice correctly, I'm not sure why the dub ploy works. There's also no reason for her to be covering Yokomon's mouth, since Yokomon isn't saying anything.

The plan works well and the crowd buys it. In fact, the plan works too well.

Kid's Father: Oh, she's doing ventriloquism. It's really the young lady who's speaking for the doll. Isn't that amazing? Bystander 1: It's just ventriloquism. Bystander 2: I really thought it talked! Bystander 3: Obviously, it couldn't have!

The other Chosen Children, watching Sora's near-disaster with bated breath, finally exhale. Everything looks to be ov--

Kid: I want one! Dad, I want that doll! Buy it! Buy it! Buy it, Dad! Come on, buy it! Father: (gets up and approaches Sora) Excuse me, miss. Sorry to bother you, but where did you get that? Sora: W-Where...?

The other kids watch Sora with fear and horror on their faces once more. How the hell is she supposed to answer this question? Ten seconds of silence pass as Sora struggles to think of something to say.

Announcement: (bing bong) Nerima. This is Nerima. Please exit to your right. Sora: ...the... NERIMA DAIKON DEPARTMENT STORE!!! Father: Aha! Thank you!

Father, son, and every other passenger all rush out the door at once, leaving the Chosen Children alone on the train. Except the mother and baby, who wait for the rush before departing much more calmly.

Mother: (to Sora) Thank you very much. (disembarks) Pyokomon: Farewell!

At long last, we are out of the danger zone.

Over in the dub, the pointing kid manages to be even more obnoxious, and the father fills those ten seconds of silence with dialogue.

Kid: I want one! Daddy, give me that toy! I want that doll! If I don't get one RIGHT NOW I'LL START SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!! Father: Shhh. (gets up and approaches Sora) Excuse me, young lady. Can I ask where you bought that doll? I need one right away. Sora: Uh... Where I bought it? Father: It's not that hard a question, is it? Come on. You'll be doing me a big favor. Where did you find it? Announcement: This stop is Nerima. Please watch your step. Again, this stop is Nerima. Sora: Ohh... THE NERIMA DEPARTMENT STORE!!! Father: What? Nerima! Thanks a lot! Come on, son! (Crowd races out; Mother stands up to leave last) Mother: (to Sora) Thanks again. (disembarks) Pyokomon: Goodbye!

Nobody does pushy, entitled brats like Americans. We are the MVP of spoiled rotten children. And spoiled rotten adults, too. That the Japanese father patiently waits for Sora to come up with her answer while the American father jumps down her throat and won't let her think seems very fitting of both cultures.

Though he's actually supposed to be Japanese in both versions so... IDK.

Now that we're finally alone in the car and we've managed that crisis, the kids start to relax. Sora returns to her seat and everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief.

Sora: That was a close one. Taichi: I thought we were goners for a second there. Jou: What is the Nerima Daikon Department Store? Sora: No idea. Takeru: I'm tired.... Mimi: Now that my tension's drained, I'm starting to feel sleepy.... Yamato: Yeah, me too.... Takeru: Hey, where are we supposed to get off again? Koushiro: At Nakano-sakaue.... Takeru: Nakano... sakaue....

Coming down off the adrenaline surge and already tired from a long day, the children drift off to sleep.

In the dub:

Sora: Wow, that was a close one. Tai: Pretty weird how nuts that kid went over Yokomon. Joe: If we don't find the Eighth Child, we could go into the-- Sora: --toy business? T.K.: How much longer? Mimi: Who knows? Someone wake me when we get there. Matt: Yeah, me too. T.K.: What's the name of the stop where we're getting off again? Izzy: We get off in Nagano. T.K.: Okay... Nagano....

We lose Sora's admission that she made up the department store she just sent those people to, which is a funny punchline replaced by an awkward quip about selling toys if Myotismon kills Kari.

We also lose Mimi's exposition that coming down off the adrenaline high is why the kids are suddenly taking inappropriate naptime.

By the time the train pulls into Nakano-sakaue, the children are fast asleep.

Patamon wakes up to the announcement they've arrived.

Announcer: Nakano-sakaue. Nakano-sakaue. Please exit to your right. Patamon: Nakano...saka... Huh? Why aren't we getting off here? Palmon: Shh. Don't talk.

Patamon claps his front paws over his mouth and hushes up. The train doors close and the train continues on its way.

In the dub, an interesting thing occurs with the announcement. The sign over the door in the original has the kanji for "Nakano-sakaue" in orange lettering, with red English lettering under it that says the same.

Despite all the uncensored Japanese lettering we've seen up to this point, apparently that sign is a bridge too far. Odd place to draw the line in the sand, given that this one comes with built-in English next to it, but okay.

The dub edits it for the "Nagano" station, so that it just has large, orange English lettering. The new orange lettering spells out "Nakano-sakaue".

Announcer: This stop is Nagano. Please watch your step. Again, this stop is Nagano. Patamon: Ohh! Huh? Hey! Here's our stop! Loo-- Palmon: We're supposed to be quiet.

So chalk this up to yet another example of the people editing the animation not communicating with the scripting team, I guess. The voice saying "This stop is Nagano" plays while the Nakano-sakaue sign is front and center onscreen.

At least it's not as bad as Shogunmon.

Eventually, the children wake up to find themselves at the wrong stop.

Sora: Huh? Jou: This is... (Cut to the sign) Jou: SHINJUKU!?!? GACKKKKK!!! Taichi: WE SLEPT THROUGH OUR STOP!!! Takeru: Patamon, you were awake!? Patamon: Yes. Takeru: Why didn't you wake us up!? Patamon: Because you told us not to talk. Children: (collective heavy sigh) Jou: Should we go back to Nakano-sakaue? Koushiro: No. I think we can still transfer to the Marunouchi Line from here.

In the dub, it's Mimi that notices where they are. Tragically, she does not make angry throat noises.

Sora: Ugh... huh? Tai: Huh? Joe: Whuh? (Cut to the sign) Mimi: HOW'D WE MISS OUR STOP!?!? Patamon: All of you slept right through it. T.K.: Patamon, you were awake!? Patamon: Sure! T.K.: What's wrong with you!? Why didn't you wake us up!? Patamon: How could I? You told us not to make a sound! Children: (collective groan) Joe: What now? Go back to our stop? Izzy: No. It's out of our way, but I think we can change trains here and be okay.

With the exception of Jou's angry throat noises, this is otherwise mostly the same. The other main difference is that they give Patamon a line for T.K. to react to. In the original, Takeru just sort of... somehow knows Patamon was awake, without explanation.

So this one goes down as a rare improvement over the original.

As the kids make their way through the station, appetites begin to flare up.

Koromon: Hey, Taichi, I'm hungry.... Tsunomon: Me too.... Palmon: So am I. Taichi: Deal with it. I'm hungry too, y'know. Mimi: I want to eat a hamburger.

Yes, Mimi is actually craving a hamburger in the original. "Watashi hamburger tabetai." That is not a dub line change. The thought of a hamburger, in fact, brings the group to a halt.

Sora: A hamburger? Yamato: I haven't had that in a long time.

Then they just stop. Looking to one another with glum expressions; The weight of this simple pleasure they've been deprived for so long hanging over everybody's heads. Seven seconds of silence pass as everyone processes what they've been missing. Finally broken when Mimi offers everyone a pleasant smile to try and raise the mood.

The dub plays this straight from the start, but then breaks script at Mimi's line and extends conversation to break the silence that follows.

Koromon: How much longer? I'm getting awful hungry, Tai! Tsunomon: Yeah, I'm starving! Palmon: Famished! Tai: It can wait. Hey, I'm hungry too, y'know! Mimi: I keep visualizing cheeseburgers. And I don't even eat cheeseburgers! (Group stops, beat) Matt: It has been a long time since any of us have eaten. And our Digimon get weak when they're hungry. (beat) Tai: ...okay.... Mimi: (pleasant smile)

Tonal shift. The English scene uses the burgers to point out that the kids haven't eaten since arriving in the human world, rather than that they've been away at war for several months. This is a tactical conversation, rather than a lingering realization of mutual hardship.

Additionally, it's Tai that cheers Mimi up by agreeing to get food rather than Mimi attempting to cheer everyone else up by putting on a brave face.

Two members of our nakama, however, are suspiciously absent from this conversation.

Jou and Koushiro navigate a crowd of people, trying to find their way.

Koushiro: The Marunouchi Line.... There are a lot of stations here. Jou: (calling over the noise) LISTEN UP, EVERYONE!!! BE SURE TO STAY CLOSE BEHIND US AND.... Uh.... (beat) Jou: (meekly) Hey, Koushiro? Koushiro: What is it, Jou-san? Jou: (meekly) Everybody's gone. Koushiro: Eh!? Jou: Honestly, where did they all go!? Koushiro: Oh, right. (pulls out Digivice) If we use this, we can find where everyone is right away! (looks at it) Wait. Why isn't it reacting? It worked fine when we were in the Digimon's world. Jou: Maybe it broke when we got here. Koushiro: (shakes the Digivice) That can't be right.

Koushiro tries shaking his Digivice to rattle it into working. I see he's finally beginning to side with Taichi on the topic of percussive maintenance.

As they walk, a woman in cosplay offers Jou a free sample of something.

Woman: Here you go.

Gomamon opens his mouth and happily bites it out of her hand.

Woman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (beat) Jou: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! THIS IS A TOY!!! A TOY!!!

Jou very unsuspiciously runs like hell while screaming "It's a toy" over and over at the top of his lungs. We are doing such a good job of keeping a low profile. :D

In the dub, Izzy and Joe seem to have psychically predicted that we'd be going for food because they are not looking for the Marunouchi line.

Joe: This place is a zoo! And not a restaurant in sight. The first one to see someplace to eat, give a shout, okay? ...huh? (beat) Joe: Oh, uh, hey, Izzy? Izzy: What is it? You see something? Joe: The other guys. They're gone. Izzy: WHAT!?!? Joe: I can't believe this! They ditched us! (groan) Izzy: Okay, okay. Don't panic. (pulls out Digivice) As long as we have this, we can always find them. (looks at it) Huh? That's funny. Why isn't it working? You think something might have happened to it when we came back to the real world? Joe: All I know is that this is one of those days where everything goes wrong. Izzy: (shakes the Digivice) Come on!

He also has a different terrible excuse for the sample incident.

Woman: Free samples! Gomamon: (chomp) Woman: AHHHHHHHHH!!! (beat) Joe: Uh... BAD DOG BAD DOG!!! (runs like hell)

So it seems like, in the dub version, Koushiro and Jou were just offscreen during the last scene and then this one takes place chronologically after. Tai and the others ditched them once they'd all decided to go look for food.

This is particularly weird, given how Jou will react to them finding food later in the episode.

In the original, they weren't in the scene because they'd already gotten separated. Koushiro and Jou were not privy to the hamburger depression spiral.

Jou and Koushiro leave the subway to look for the rest of the group. We're treated to an ominous and tense sequence of Jou and Koushiro hurrying down the sidewalk one way while SkullMeramon in his trenchcoat comes around the other side of the building.

As they approach collision, suddenly Jou spots the other kids. Taichi and the others are eating hamburgers in an upper floor of a building across the street, visible through a window.

Jou: AAAAAAAUGH!!! There they are! Koushiro: EHHHHHH!?!?

Against all odds and reason, despite the Digivice trackers not functioning, Jou manages to find the other kids with nothing but the notion that they're probably somewhere in Shinjuku to go off of.

(This would make way more sense if the trackers still worked. Why turn them off, show? Is it because you left a Digivice at Hikari's house during Taichi's visit and then realized that her having that would completely destroy this entire Search for the Eighth Child plotline?)

I guess his Senpai Sense told him where to go. His wards are kinda misbehaving....

In the dub, Joe and Izzy's exclusion continues to be extremely rude for reasons unknown.

Joe: Huh!? LOOK!!! THEY'RE EATING WITHOUT US!!!

Fucking jerks. They'd better have a good explanation for this.

Suddenly, Jou and Koushiro get the green light to go. Miraculously, a pair of workers carrying a large painting walk by, with the painting obscuring them from SkullMeramon as they pass in front of him. Jou and Koushiro continue on their way and SkullMeramon on his, neither aware of the other's presence.

Inside the restaurant, five of seven Chosen Children enjoy the first taste of greasy Western fast food they've had in years.

Taichi: Ahhh! Delicious! Mimi: So good! Sora: I almost forgot what this tasted like! Tsunomon: This isn't fair, Yamato! You get to eat tasty stuff like this every day! Yamato: Be a little quieter while you're eating. What if the other customers see you? Mimi: No one is paying attention to us, though.

Jou and Koushiro enter and approach their table.

Mimi: Huh? Takeru: It's Jou-san and Koushiro-san! Taichi: Hey! You guys should get something to eat too! The food's amazing! Jou: (quietly fuming) You... You guys didn't use your fare money for this, did you? Mimi: (cheerful) Yeah! We used all of it!

Jou fucking drops Gomamon on the floor and hangs his head, despondently groaning and shaking.

Sora: Sorry. We just couldn't resist the temptation of hamburgers. Jou: A-All of you... (eruption) WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU ALL THINKING!?!?

Suddenly, Jou's stomach rumbles, undermining his outburst. He slowly turns beet red, then storms off to go order food.

Jou: (furiously) I'll eat. I'll eat using ALL OF THE MONEY THAT I HAVE!!!

Guys, I think we broke Senpai.

Fujiyama was right when he tried not to let us go to Hikarigaoka. Now we're stranded in Shinjuku burning our fare money on McDonalds.

In the dub:

Mimi: I feel like a new woman! Tai: Man! Tastes great! Mimi: Yum-ilicious! Sora: Boy, I sure needed this! Tsunomon: You people are lucky! Yum yum! You get to eat this stuff every day! Matt: A little louder, why don't you? There's a couple of people that aren't staring yet. Mimi: Actually, nobody noticed yet but Matt's right, you should-- (gasps, seeing Joe and Izzy enter) Ohhh! Patamon: Uh-oh. T.K.: Joe! Izzy! Well, it's about time. Tai: Hey, what are you guys waiting for? Order something! Joe: How? When you guys have got all the money? Huh? Mimi: Whoops! We went and spent it all! Joe: (drops Gomamon, hangs head, and starts shaking) Sora: See, we were all so hungry, we ordered the super duper combos. Joe: Great. You spent it all? (eruption) THAT WAS ALL THE MONEY WE HAD IN THE WORLD!!! (Joe suddenly stops for no clear reason. He slowly turns beet red, then storms off) Joe: (muttering) Of all the dumb, greedy, selfish little things. It's unbelievable. These guys are supposed to be my friends! My friends! My friends!

Completing the dub-exclusive saga of Joe and Izzy being on Team Restaurant, it turns out he's upset in this version because they spent all the money on food for themselves and didn't get him anything. After ditching him and Izzy in the subway.

This scene is super ambiguous with regard to how malicious the other kids are being. On the "This is unapologetic bullying", we have the fact that they ditched Joe and Izzy in the subway to begin with. Why did they ditch them?

Patamon even gives out a little "Uh-oh" when Joe enters, like he's realizing they're about to be caught red-handed betraying Joe and Izzy. That "Uh-oh" is peculiar if they aren't doing anything wrong.

They just. Stole away with all the money, then burned it all on themselves and let Joe and Izzy starve. Fucking assholes. Joe's usually a target for the American group's bullying but what did Izzy do to deserve this? He's been trying to help them navigate the subway! Pricks! All of them pricks!

...part of me appreciates that Mimi gets to be on this side of the bullying for once.

But on the other hand, Tai's just like, "Hey, order food!" when he sees Joe. So. Like. It's possible they just got separated, like in the original. And also Tai somehow doesn't know they inexplicably pooled their money in this version, even though one of them has the entire money pool? I guess?

Who did we trust to carry the money pool? Because that person is still a complete fucking asshole. That kid knew they were screwing Joe and Izzy, even if the others forgot somehow. That kid should have said something when they were all ordering "super duper combos".

Probably goes without saying that I like the Senpai Meltdown version better, right? Because if they really did maliciously ditch Joe and Izzy, steal all the money, and go splurge on themselves, that is unacceptable character assassination of every single kid at this table. They would not fucking do that.

They made questionable choices in the original too, but they aren't actively hurting other members of their nakama in the process. Jou and Koushiro can still eat. This slap in the face to Joe actually made me angry.

Anyways. Moving along.

While Jou is furiously ordering his own food, Koushiro checks his Digivice to find that it's showing radar blips for everyone now.

Koushiro: The Digivice is reacting. Sora: It's because everyone's here, right? Koushiro: No. I mean, when I looked at it earlier, it wasn't reacting at all. Sora: That's strange. Koushiro: Maybe it only works at short distances in this world.

You were also in the subway when you checked it, Koushiro. We should consider the possibility that you had bad phone reception.

This is the human world. We have signal limitations. You can't coast on the fabric of reality itself being made of wifi anymore.

(This makes it even weirder that the writers turned off Digivice Tracking for the Shinjuku search then turned it back on right after they miraculously found everyone.)

Mimi: Hey, more importantly, where do we go from here? Takeru: Yeah, we don't have any money so we can't ride the trains anymore. Yamato: How do we get to Odaiba for free? Taichi: Hehehehe... Leave that to me! I have a fool-proof plan. Yamato: (curiously) Do you, now?

In the dub, Izzy's chat with Sora has no changes. T.K. brings up an idea for how to get home.

Mimi: That's great but, meanwhile, what are we going to do now? T.K.: We start walking. They won't let us back on the train without any money. Matt: I'm sure not looking forward to walking all that way. Tai: Ha! I know a way that won't cost us a penny! Just leave everything to me! Matt: (sarcastic) Oh, great. You're a genius.

I like that they discuss walking in the dub, because it is a viable option. It would suck but Shinjuku is close enough to Odaiba that we can walk if we must.

The kids are about 9 miles from home right now. It would take them probably 3-4 hours to get there, but they're now well-fed and they're all at least somewhat athletic after several months of exploring the Digimon World on foot. It would be nice if an alternative means of transit could be employed, but we should at least consider walking.

It can't be worse than Etemon's desert.

The kids head outside to put Taichi's master plan into action.

Taichi holds out his thumb to hitchhike, but the cars speed right on by.

Taichi: HEY!!! SOMEONE GIVE ME A RIDE!!!

Then he tries jumping, screaming at the top of his lungs, and flailing his limbs like a wildman for attention.

Taichi: HEY HEY HEY HEY!!! COME ON!!! LET ME IN!!! Yamato: Oh, come on. Hitchhiking in this modern day and age? Koushiro: It's not as easy as it looks on TV.

A car almost hits Taichi because he's out too far in the road. They honk angrily at him while he screams back at them.

Car: HONK HONK!!! Taichi: THAT'S DANGEROUS, YOU MORON!!! Yamato: Speak for yourself. Jou: It will take three days for Taichi to get us a ride. Koushiro: Agreed. Taichi: I'd like to see you try it, then! Jou: YEEP!!! U-Us!?

The dub cuts the shots of Taichi holding out his thumb to hitchhike. We go straight to Tai jumping and flailing his limbs.

Tai: HELP!!! POLICE!!! MY CAT IS STUCK IN A TREE IN ODAIBA AND I'VE GOT TO GET THERE RIGHT AWAY SO I CAN GET HER DOWN!!! HEY!!! Matt: The police!? That's his brilliant idea!? Izzy: If the police do stop, they'll lock him up for disturbing the peace. Car: (nearly hits Tai) HONK HONK Tai: HEY!!! I've got the right of way! Matt: (sarcastic) Looking good, Tai. Joe: Good grief. At this rate, we could be sitting here all day. Izzy: And night. Tai: THEN YOU TRY AND GET US A RIDE!!! Joe: Me!? No way! Tai: How about you, Matt!? You think you're so smart!

I'm going to guess this was edited because they didn't want children to see their heroes hitchhiking and try to copy it, or something like that. The 90's were really nervous about imitable acts on children's television.

It's the reason Spider-Man could grab a crate with his webs and smash it on a bad guy's head but was forbidden from throwing a punch. Children can't grab crates with webbing but they can throw punches, and parents thought if they saw Spider-Man punch someone, they might start punching people.

So now Tai's plan to get to Odaiba is to scream at random passing cars that he wants the police. You know, they probably had a phone back in the diner. You could call the police. On the phone.

Taichi makes Jou and Koushiro try next, in retaliation for their mockery. They both awkwardly stick out their thumbs.

Jou & Koushiro: ...y...yay?

Multiple cars speed by and honk at them. Realizing this isn't working, they both exchange uncomfortable glances, then take a deep breath.

Jou & Koushiro: Ready. Set.

And then they begin screaming at the top of their lungs and flailing their limbs like wildmen.

Jou & Koushiro: YAY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY-YIIIIII!!!

And it fucking works. A car pulls up to the restaurant to let them in.

It's. Uh. It's a taxi. The taxi closes its doors a moment after, presumably after being informed they do not have money, and drives away. Jou and Koushiro hang their heads in failure while the other kids laugh.

(Still better than Taichi managed.)

Yamato takes the third attempt.

It does not go well.

Yamato takes a deep breath and slowly, reluctantly, puts out his thumb. The instant his thumb is raised, a pedophile pulls up to the curb.

Yamato: (blush) Woman: (sultry) Hi~! Come in, little boy. Yamato: (blush intensifies)

Yes, she is doing graspy fingers with that hand up there. It's incredibly uncomfortable. Cut immediately to Yamato reporting to the others, still blushing and bowing his head in embarrassment.

Taichi: WHY DID YOU SAY NO!?!? Yamato: WE COULDN'T ALL FIT IN THAT CAR!!!

Taichi and Mimi both grin and giggle at Yamato, implicitly teasing him for what they all know just happened.

Asshole behavior from the both of them but in their defense, children don't know better. They don't have the perspective to understand how fucked up that was. That's why it's the responsibility of adults to protect them from shit like this. Yamato was just accosted by a legitimate Stranger Danger.

No surprise: The dub heavily edits this scene to remove the pedophile. Matt stands there for a moment, but can't even bring himself to... do whatever he would do since we aren't hitchhiking. He just turns right around to the others in failure, with a blush of embarrassment.

Tai: I'm waiting! Matt: (turns around in surrender) Tai: NOT SO EASY, IS IT, MATT!?!? Matt: WELL, AT LEAST MY CAT'S NOT STUCK IN A TREE!!

Then Tai and Mimi grin and giggle at him, presumably entertained by his snappy comeback.

The dub then puts Izzy and Joe's attempt here, moving it to third place after Matt's. Like Tai, their initial thumb-out try is cut so their attempt at hitchhiking can be disguised as something else: They're intentionally trying to hail a taxi despite being broke.

Joe & Izzy: (deep breaths, then flailing) HEY HEY TAXI TAXI OVER HERE TAXI HEY TAXI TAXI Taxi: (pulls up) You kids want a cab? Joe & Izzy: YEAH!!! Taxi: You got any money? Joe & Izzy: ...no.

This was almost as bad an idea as hailing the police. I don't know why they thought they could take a taxi for free.

Finally, Sora and Mimi take their turn.

Sora & Mimi: Take us to Odaiba! Jou: It will definitely work this time. Koushiro: Girls are better at this. Mochimon: That's right. The men will be all over them! Koromon: Is that how it works, Taichi? Taichi: Yep!

Sure enough, a blue minivan pulls over pretty quickly. We don't hear the conversation between Sora and Mimi and the occupant of the car.

Takeru: Someone stopped! (Sora and Mimi turn towards the others and give them okay signs) Jou: Yes! It's okay! Taichi: Hehe! Piece of cake! Koromon: (awestruck) So that's how it works....

Teaching Koromon very dangerous behaviors here. We have learned nothing from Yamato's attempt.

Dub Sora and Mimi don't even get to make an attempt. The driver of the minivan is reimagined completely. The car just pulls up all of a sudden, unprompted by anything. They even edited the footage to erase Sora and Mimi with their signs from the scene of him pulling up.

Driver: Sora!? Sora: It's my cousin! Hi, Duane! Duane: Need a lift? (Sora and Mimi turn towards the others and give them okay signs) Mimi: YAAAAAY!!! Sora: Alright! Mimi: GIRL POWER!!!

Mimi, how is Sora having a cousin a triumphant moment of girl power? Why are you even over at the car?

The dub then moves the scene of the boys grossly commenting on the girls' ability to lure in vehicles to after "Duane" shows up.

T.K.: Her cousin!? Joe: What are the odds of that happening? Izzy: One in 4.2 million. Motimon: Whatever! I'm just glad we have a ride! Koromon: Excuse me, but what's a cousin? Tai: Skip it.

Just like that, the hitchhiking sequence is complete and the censors can go cry themselves to sleep in a closet somewhere for how much work that was. (Wait 'til we get to Pinocchimon.)

As the minivan makes its way, the visibly unhappy driver calls out:

Driver: Those of you in the back! Everyone in the back: Yes?

Small note: He's trying to address the boys, but Japan's frequently gender-neutral language causes a small miscommunication and Sora answers with them.

Driver: You're extras that Sora-chan and Mimi-chan brought with them. Understood? Boys: (resigned) Yes, sir. We're extras. Driver: Extras better keep quiet. Otherwise, I'll dump you on the side of the highway or something. Boys: (resigned) Yes, sir. We'll be quiet.

The car pulls up to a red light.

Driver: Would you like some candy, Mimi-chan? Mimi: Yes! Driver: (gives a candy to Mimi) You too, Sora-chan. Sora: Thank you.

As the driver passes the candy back, Pyokomon's eyes follow it. She opens her mouth, wanting, but behaves herself and doesn't say anything. Sora, seeing what Pyokomon wants, quickly feeds the candy to Pyokomon rather than eating it herself.

Taichi whispers to Sora from the back.

Taichi: (whispers) What's the deal with this guy? He pisses me off. Sora: (whispers) It can't be helped. After all, he is taking us to Odaiba. Jou: (whispers) Actually, are we sure that he's taking us to Odaiba?

Senpai coming in with the real questions now that it's too late to back out. He really shouldn't have let us do this to begin with. What would Fujiyama say, Jou? He trusted you.

In another brief near-encounter with one of Tailmon's mercenaries, Wizarmon, carrying balloons, leads a group of children over the crosswalk in front of this creep's car.

Mimi, too, feeds her candy to Palmon rather than eating it herself.

In the dub, Duane lays down the same obnoxious rules. Kinda weird that Mimi's riding shotgun in Sora's cousin's vehicle, gotta say.

Duane: Okay, here's the rules. I'm gonna say this once, so listen! Everyone in the back: Yeah? Duane: You're only here 'cause Sora's my cousin. You're like her luggage. Boys: (resigned) Yeah. We're like her luggage. Duane: And luggage doesn't make a sound. You got me? Or else it's liable to get itself thrown out of the car, right? Boys: (resigned) Right. Luggage doesn't make a sound. Duane: (to Mimi) You want some gum? Sugarless. Mimi: Sure. Duane: (gives one to Mimi) How about you, Sora? Sora: Thanks, Duane. (takes the gum and feeds it to Yokomon) Tai: (whispers) Hey, Sora, I think your cousin's a major lame-o. Sora: (whispers) He's sorta the black sheep of the family. But he's giving us a lift, so be nice. Tai: (whispers) I will! But just make sure he takes us to Odaiba.

Jou's concern about Stranger Danger running off with us is a valid thing to worry about. Not sure where Tai thinks Duane is going to take us, though.

Also, the weirdness of Mimi being up front continues. Why isn't she luggage? Is it for creepy reasons? I bet it's for creepy reasons.

While Tailmon's mercenaries continue expanding their search of Tokyo, PicoDevimon rides the ferry and complains.

PicoDevimon: Vamdemon-sama's always beating and shouting at me. It won't get better unless I can achieve something soon. Where could that kid be?

Over in the dub, he's having a crisis.

DemiDevimon: How did I ever get into this!? Knocking myself out searching for some pipsqueak kid! I've got half a mind to chuck this whole lousy job! But... The master might not like that....

I feel DemiDevimon. This job sucks. Aimlessly wandering around the city hoping to stumble onto a person is the worst way to find someone. The Eighth Child is a needle in a haystack. A haystack that is hostile to discovery of your true identity.

So. Like. A haystack full of bees. And fourteen wasps.

In the car, the nameless driver blasts deafening music. Mimi tries to get his attention.

Mimi: E-Excuse me, Onii-san! Driver: (head banging to the music) Mimi: ONII-SAN!!! Driver: Eh? Did you say something? Mimi: COULD YOU PLEASE TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!!! Driver: Eh? What did you say? Mimi: VOLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUME!!! Driver: Bathroom? You need to go? Mimi: THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAAAAAAAAAAAID!!!

In Japan, it's common to use respectful familial terms like onii-san to address older people. By addressing the driver as Onii-san, Mimi is respectfully addressing him as an older man, but not so much older that otosan (father) or ojisan (grandfather) would be more appropriate.

Before this argument can continue, the driver's music is interrupted by a news broadcast.

Reporter: We interrupt this broadcast for important news. A few hours ago in the Nerima district, a bombing occurred near the housing complexes of Hikarigaoka. This may have been responsible for putting telephones, wires, and optical cables in Hikarigaoka into temporary disservice. Investigations are underway in the local area. We will bring you a news update if anything is uncovered. In other news, unconfirmed sources have insisted that an elephant and a huge bird were witnessed at the scene of the crime. Investigation into these claims is also currently underway. Driver: Whoa! An elephant! Freaky. It must have escaped the zoo! Hehe! Reporter: There is some speculation that this incident may be related to the terrorist bombing that occurred four years ago in Hikarigaoka. To those just tuning in, a few hours ago in the Nerima district, a bombing occurred near the housing complexes of Hikarigaoka....

Haha. Hahaha. Hahahahaha we are wanted fugitives that's great.

In the dub, Duane calls Mimi "babe", confirming that she's up front for creepy reasons.

Mimi: Excuse me! Do you mind? Duane: (head banging to the music) Mimi: EXCUSE ME!!! Duane: Oh, what's up, babe? Mimi: THE RADIO'S KIND OF LOUD!!! Duane: The tunes are kinda what!? Mimi: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUD!!! Duane: The radio? It's too loud? Mimi: MAYBE JUST A LITTLE!!! (news report interrupts) Reporter: And now for a news update. Officials have yet to find a clear explanation for the devastating explosion that rocked the Highton View Terrace apartments in the Nerima district earlier today. Power in the area is still out and the injured are still being counted after the bizarre incident. While official sources have offered no further information, there are reports of several eyewitness accounts. However, these accounts have only served to further mystify investigators. The details of their accounts differ but several of these eyewitnesses agree that an elephant and something described as a giant firebird were seen in the vicinity. Duane: (laughing) A giant WHAT!?!? Firebird!? Hehe, you gotta love the crazies in this town, HAHAHA!!! Reporter: When asked about the accounts, officials would give no comment. A similar incident took place at the Highton View Terrace Apartments four years ago. It's unknown if there is any connection between the two.

Mostly the same, but of note: This is actually darker in the dub. The dub blames the electrical chaos in Hikarigaoka on Mammon which isn't entirely wrong. The original instead talks about a power outage and "still counting the injured", meaning there were a lot of human casualties from the fighting between Mammon and Birdramon/Garudamon.

According to the dub, while we were drifting in and out of OVA flashbacks, people were exploding and being crushed by debris offscreen.

You know, it's funny the driver mentions going to the bathroom because Koromon suddenly has an emergency right there in the car. Taichi manages to dodge aside just before Koromon would have shit on his lap, causing it to hit the seats instead.

Driver pulls over and everyone evacuates immediately to escape the smell.

Jou: GAAAH IT STINKS!!! Driver: (furious) ...you bastards... WHO THE HELL JUST TOOK A DUMP INSIDE MY BELOVED CAR!?!? Taichi: ...sorry, I-- Sora: ME!!! IT WAS ME!!!

Sora takes the fall for Koromon, likely realizing that the guy isn't going to treat her the way he would one of the "extras".

Her lie is terrible, of course. She was in the passenger side of the second row, while Koromon pooped in the center seat of the back row. It's actually quite impressive, given that Taichi was in the back row passenger side and jerked away towards the center, which would push Koromon towards the door. But Jou was sitting in the center seat there.

In order to make this happen, Koromon would have had to leap for it, hurdling Taichi to dive-bomb projectile-shit at Jou, who clearly scrambled out of the way as Koromon deposited right between his legs. I take it back, this is way worse than ditching Joe at lunch.

I guess he panicked and was hoping Senpai would take care of it.

In any case, Driver takes a moment to process the claim that a girl like Sora would do something so vulgar.

Sora: I'm so sorry. I'll be sure to clean up all of it! Driver: ...LIAR!!! I know you'd never do something like that, Sora-chan! The one sitting in the back was... you, right!?

The driver correctly identifies Jou as the occupant of that seat.

Jou: Eep!? Driver: Don't try and fool me with that nice guy face of yours!

The driver grabs Jou angrily by the his collar. Koushiro tries to pull him off.

Koushiro: Please stop! Driver: SHUT UP!!!

The driver backhands Koushiro away, sending him stumbling back into the barricade. Both barricade and Koushiro go over the edge, plunging off the bridge.

In a subtle moment of characterization, despite being in the clutches of this (rightfully angry but still) asshole, Jou-senpai is more concerned with Koushiro's wellbeing than his own. His eyes are on Koushiro after the backhand, and he screams when Koushiro goes over the edge.

The dub, for once, lets a poop be a poop. They don't even edit out the onscreen shot of it. I guess there was no way they were going to be able to claim it was hair gel or whatever.

Duane: WHOA!!! WHAT IS THAT!?!? Tai: Koromon, you couldn't wait!? Duane: Okay, who did it!? HUH!?!? WHICH ONE OF YOU MADE A MESS ON MY NEW SEAT COVERS!?!? Tai: ...I'm sorry, I-- Sora: RIGHT HERE!!! I'm the one! Duane: Huh? Sora: I'll clean it up. I'll even detail it for ya! Duane: ...RARGH!!! Don't try covering up for these losers! Which one of 'em was it!? (Driver looks around, then spots Joe) Duane: YOU!!! Mr. Peepers! IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT!?!? Izzy: Hey, let him go! He didn't d-- Duane: Back off! (backhand)

Sora trying to take the fall works just as well for Cousin Duane as it does with the creep who wanted to be alone with minor girls. The sentiment is pretty similar: She knows he won't lash out at her the way he would the others, so she steps up to try and de-escalate.

They did cut out the driver's reasoning for blaming Jou, though. Duane just seems to select him arbitrarily.

They also put another well-timed commercial break in right as Izzy goes over. Once again, good spot for a cliffhanger..

As Koushiro goes over the edge, Motimon suddenly evolves into Tentomon to catch him by the ankle. Trying with all his might to lift Koushiro. Unfortunately, something else is lurking in the river, which notices the Chosen Child suspended in the air.

Tentomon: (catch) Koushiro: Tentomon! (They drop a foot sharply) Tentomon: Ack! Heavy.... (Gesomon explodes from the water) Tentomon: IT'S GESOMON!!! Koushiro: Gesomon!?

Gesomon is an Adult-stage Virus-type Mollusk Digimon. Their name comes from the Japanese word gesou, which are the tentacles of a squid.

Gesomon is not a Nightmare Soldier. They're from the Deep Savers line; One of the few non-Nightmare Soldier's we'll be facing in the Tokyo sub-arc.

Narrator: Gesomon. A Mollusk-type Virus Digimon. Their special attack, Deadly Shade, paralyzes their enemies! Driver: AHHHH!!! A SQUID BAKEMONO!!! (runs away) Gomamon: I can handle ocean Digimon!

Remember bakemono, shapeshifting yokai who impersonate people, animals, and objects? The driver accuses Gesomon of being a bakemono in the guise of a squid. Which. Isn't that far off, really.

In the dub, Tentomon quips about Izzy's weight.

Tentomon: I've got you, Izzy! (catch) Izzy: WAAAAAUGH!!! Thanks, Tento! (They drop a foot sharply) Tentomon: Eugh, you had to have that extra side of chili fries, didn't you? Izzy: Hey, what's that!? (Gesomon explodes from the water) Tentomon: Yow, it's Gesomon! Izzy: It's what!? Tentomon: (rundown) Gesomon. Take a bit of everything nasty that lives underwater, stick them together, and that's him. Duane: YOU KIDS ARE ON YOUR OWN!!! (runs away) Gomamon: Good riddance! You were a lousy driver anyway!

Izzy didn't get to eat chili fries. He and Joe went hungry. I have no idea what Tentomon is talking about. Unless they were lying to Joe about spending all the money and then bought Izzy a meal after Joe left? I guess that's what happened.

Man, this dub plot point just gets worse and worse.

Gomamon hits the water and evolves into Ikkakumon.

Driver: AHHHHHHHHHH THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!!!

While creepy driver offscreen becomes the next person to shit himself, Ikkakumon attacks, bashing Gesomon back with a headbutt. Gesomon tries to slap one of their tentacles down from above. Ikkakumon sidesteps, then fires a Harpoon Vulcan point-blank through another of Gesomon's tentacles. The missile penetrates Gesomon's claw and detonates, blowing the limb to shreds.

In the dub, Duane bailed much more concretely than Driver so he doesn't get to scream and cry about Ikkakumon's arrival. What we get is a line from Tentomon while he and Izzy flutter offscreen.

Tentomon: I think we'll just get out of the way!

Like Mammon, Gesomon is one of those bestial Digimon that doesn't speak, but the dub lets him nonetheless call attacks in English. When he tries to slam his tentacle down on Ikkakumon, he calls it "Coral Crusher".

This extremely public kaiju brawl draws spectators.

A crowd gathers around the Chosen Children on the bridge.

Bystander 1: Senpai, look at that! Bystander 2: Are those kaiju!? No way! Bystander 3: Dad, get the camcorder! HURRY!!! Bystander 4: They're pretty well made. Bystander 5: Do you think they're real? Bystander 4: That's impossible. This must be some kind of event.

Meanwhile, in a nearby cafe on an upper floor of a building, three girls have a bird's-eye vantage of the kaiju brawling in the river.

Girl 1: It's so annoyi-- Girl 2: EH!?!? WHAT IS THAT!?!? Girl 3: Awww, they're so cute!

At a rest stop, one salaryman gets a drink from a vending machine while another reclines on a bench; The fight raging behind him. The first salaryman suddenly sees the fighting and stops in his tracks.

Salaryman 2: What's wrong? Salaryman 1: (sigh) I can't even. (drink)

I guess this is happening now.

XD That salaryman is the entire vibe of my generation.

In the dub, it's ads.

Bystander 1: HOLY COW!!! WHAT'S GOING ON!?!? Bystander 2: They must be advertising something! Bystander 3: Advertising something!? Get out of here! Bystander 4: Maybe they're shooting a movie! Bystander 3: I don't see any cameras! Bystander 4: Oh well. Maybe they're just rehearsing.

Bystander 3, get out of here with your naysaying. Also, Bystander 2 was ahead of his time. Modern-day Digimon would stop what they're doing every five minutes to tell you about Surfshark.

Girl 1: And so then do you know what he said? Girl 2: OH! WHAT'S THAT!?!? Girl 3: What's going on over there!?

And Zero Fucks Salaryman remains a legend.

Salaryman 1: Rough day at work, huh? Salaryman 2: Eh, you know. Same old, same old. (drink)

Finally, Ikkakumon strikes the killing blow: Stabbing Gesomon straight through the head with his horn and driving him down into the water. We're spared any shots of impalement, as Gesomon implicitly dissolves into pixel dust offscreen after being submerged.

Since Gesomon dies underwater, the bystanders are also spared from having to see that. The only confirmation of Gesomon's death is that the fight music dies down and Gesomon's counterfeit Crest is seen floating down the river.

(Another Digimerc isn't going home.)

Bystander: (disappointed) What the hell? It's already over!? Driver: ...oh, right! The kids!

Too late for him, the kids are already gone. I guess he'll have to clean Koromon's poop out of his car by himself.

(Honestly, probably for the best. I'm not saying it's good that we pooped in his car, but Mr. "You're all just Sora-chan and Mimi-chan's luggage!" did not have good intentions and was probably going to pull some dudebro shit when we got to Odaiba. So bailing on him in the chaos is a good idea.)

The dub adds a silence-breaker when Ikkakumon stabs Gesomon.

Bystander 1: My money's on the big hairy one!

Then, after Gesomon's implied disintegration:

Bystander 1: (same as the previous comment) Aww, they're gone. Too bad! Bystander 2: Man, did you guys see that? Duane: Sora? HEY, SORA!!! Where'd all those kids go!?

Dub Sora is not so lucky as original Sora, as she will most certainly get an earful from furious relatives over the poop we left in Duane's car.

With new transportation options opened up, the children tie logs to Ikkakumon and swim to Odaiba. It's Jou's Digimon so he gets the seat of honor. Sora and Mimi get to ride on Ikkakumon's back while the boys take the logs.

Sexist, but they were the ones who got us this far by putting up with being leered at by a pervert. If we'd gone with the convertible lady then maybe Yamato could be on Ikkakumon's back.

Yamato: We drew a big crowd back there.... Taichi: Couldn't be helped. Oh, well! It'll all work out. Jou: Set course to Odaiba. LAUNCH!!! Narrator: And so the Children made their way safely to Odaiba. However....

PicoDevimon: I've found you. I must inform Vamdemon-sama right away! (flies off) Narrator: Where could the Eighth Chosen Child be? Vamdemon's night draws closer.

Yeah, those skies are looking pretty sunset-y. We close on the ominous reminder that Vamdemon will be loosed upon Tokyo soon.

In the dub:

Matt: Well, so much for keeping a low profile. Tai: At least we got away from Lame Duane and we're all in one piece! Joe: Nice work, Ikkakumon. You NAAAAAAILED him! Ikkakumon: RAAARHAHAAAA!!! Tai: Anyway, wouldn't you rather travel in the fresh air than under the ground in that subway? Sora: Oh, yeah! This is great! Tai: And best of all, it's free!

Since Tai and Sora are filling space where the Narrator should be talking, they have to play a really noticeable game of "Only speak when the camera isn't on you". The camera is on Sora and Mimi for Tai's subway line. Then Sora speaks when it shifts to Tai, Matt, and T.K. And then Tai starts talking again as soon as it moves to Izzy.

DemiDevimon: Here's good news! Now that they've shown themselves, we can finally take care of them! (flies off) Tai: Next stop: HOME!!! Kids: YEAH!! WOOHOO!! WE'RE GOING HOME!!! Mimi: Does anybody have something to eat? Tai: Ugh, Mimi, not that again! Mimi: I was just asking!

The episode closes on one last Mimi gag for good measure.

Assessment: The hitchhiking portion of this episode made me feel my age. Watching these children get sexually harassed by people old enough to drive is deeply uncomfortable. But creeps like the ones these kids ran into are a genuine peril of attempting this.

The dub censored that sequence heavily because, I guess, they don't want kids to try doing what the Chosen Children were doing. But the original sequence goes to great lengths to examine the perils of what the Chosen Children were doing. Yeah, we don't want children hitchhiking, here's why.

In fact, points from me for pointing out that boys can be victimized by predatory adults too. It's not just something that happens to girls. Both Yamato and Sora/Mimi get preyed on by exactly the kind of people who would eagerly pick up isolated 11/10-year-olds off the side of the road, though Yamato gets it much more directly.

This was a terrible idea that Taichi had.

The dub, meanwhile, was very polarized. This episode's dub has high highs and low lows. Some fantastic dubbing and even a scene that's improved on the original one minute, and then total dipshittery the next.

This is the meanest episode to Joe and Mimi that the show's been yet. Mimi got it in quantity but Joe got the fucking "Ditch Joe and go eat" bit. A bit which wound up becoming a plot hole later on when Tentomon clearly mentions Izzy eating.

...wait a second, why can Dub Gomamon evolve? Shouldn't he also be starv-- Holy shit, did they feed Gomamon too? Joe did drop him in the diner before storming out. It really was just Joe that they screwed?

#digimon #digimon adventure #revisiting digimon #revisiting digimon adventure

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