#harder to move my body and harder to Breathe and harder to convince myself to keep living. even thouvb my circumstances are so much better

[andiv3r]

Whatevwer. Vent art be upon ye. Don't read the tags unless you want to hear about what sparked this.

[chaepink]

bark for me | sub!denji

wc: 400+ words | masterlist

dom!reader, kinda puppy boy!denji, slight crying, pet play, collars, praising, begging, thigh riding

note : puppy boys are so cute

"bark for me, denji"

The blond flushes red at your command. You want him to bark?

"Go on. Do you need me to repeat myself?"

You raise an eyebrow at him and give a sharp tug to his leash, making him whimper. With the way he's sitting at your feet looking up at you, you're able to see the way the bell connected to his red collar—you knew the color would look good on him—jingles as he moves and how his face turns red from your praise or insults.

Especially the way his dick is hard and continues to leak pre-cum no matter how hard he tries to hide it between his legs and with his hands.

Denji gulps and licks his lips. The fact that he's naked and that you're fully clothed makes him even harder.

"w-woof?"

Your stare stays blank. Did he do it wrong?

"Thats disappointing denji," you say, letting out a feign sigh. "That sounded like a question rather than a actual bark. Maybe you're not fit to be my dog after all-"

"N-No! P-Please!" You stop talking as you see actual tears well up in Denji's eyes. "Please... i-i swear i'll be a good dog for you!" He paws at your legs as he pouts at you. His bell jingles as he frantically tries to convince you for another chance.

You coo at him, your hand going down to caress his check. You can feel the way he tilts his head to rub against it gently.

"Really? Then prove it." Denji shivers at the tone of your voice. "Know that I won't give you another chance so go on and bark." He knows its not a request, its a command. And he's not one to ever disobey you.

"woof woof!"

At last you smile at him and Denji feels his heart swell, knowing he did it well. You give him a pat on the head and rub it, watching as he lowers his head to hide his flushed face.

"Good boy"

You watch as his body shivers from the praise. He lets out a whimper as he rubs his head against your thigh, looking at you with pleading, innocent eyes.

"Please"

"Please what, baby?"

He lets out a whine. "Touch me please!"

You take a quick glance at his hard dick and look back at Denji who has a pout on his lips. How adorable.

"How about you ride my thigh?" You watch as a grin appears on Denji's face and his personality changes into a more energetic, happy one.

"R-Really?" You smile and if you didn't know any better, you would've thought that there was a actual tail behind him wagging side to side if you were to look.

"Yes baby, think about it as a reward." Immediately he jumps onto your thigh, a whimper leaving him as his dick touches your thigh.

He slowly rocks against you, afraid to speed up in case he's not supposed to. But your impatience gets the best of you and you grab his hips to force him to ride your thigh faster.

He jolts as he lets out a gasp that soon turns into a needy whine. He quickly crams his face into your neck, letting out quiet whimpers and moans as he wraps his arms around your neck. Each roll of his hips against your thigh has him letting out even louder noises, letting you to assume that he's close.

A hand leaves his hips and goes to travel up his back before it gently wraps around his neck.

You hear his breathing turn ragged when you gently squeeze his neck, your head turning sideways to whisper in his ear.

"such a adorable puppy, arent you?" Denji lets out a whimper and wraps his arms around you even tighter, his hips practically rutting against your thigh on his own, trying to chase his orgasm.

"If you want to cum, i want to hear you properly beg for it, denji."

With a slight nod, he lifts his head from your neck only to throw it back as particular thrust of your thigh has his body shivering in pleasure.

"ah! please! fuck- let me cum please" He looks at you with tear-filled eyes as he paws at your chest with a pout.

"wanna k-kiss you ah!" You quickly bring him into a kiss filled with teeth clashing and some rather lewd noises coming from him.

He's so eager, really. Even with the way his hips are humping your thigh as if his life depends on it and the way he's moaning and mewling against your lips, you still think he's so so cute.

A perfect puppy boy for you to ruin, for you to keep, and to play with whenever your heart desires.

You pull back from the kiss and have to pull on his hair in order to keep him from chasing your lips to which he whines at. With a grin, you mumble against his mouth.

"Go on and cum, baby."

He widens his eyes at your command but he doesn't waste another second and shoves his face into your neck with a muffled cry, his body spasming as his orgasm hits him hard. Ropes of his cum shoots out and onto your clothes and his chest.

His hips slow down as the intensity dies down. You press a kiss onto the side of his head.

"You did so good for me denji." Denji lets out a hum and cuddles against your body further. He stays still and when you look at his face, you find out that he fell asleep on you.

Perhaps your puppy boy used up too much of his energy today.

ty for reading to the end! ❤ - chaepink

╰┈➤ masterlist | rules

[justkending]

Pink or Violet? (Part two of "It's just a papercut..." Drabble)

(All gifs are from Pinterest)

(Part two of "It's just a papercut..." Drabble)

Pairing: Grumpy Bucky x Avenger Reader (Enemies to lovers)

Word Count: 2600+

A/N: Well, wow-ee wow, wow... Y'all blew up the last little drabble connected to this one, so I had to grant myself some writing time today to come up with a follow-up drabble. This one is a lot more lighthearted and a good 5-8 months in the future (your choice, really). Thank you, guys, for all the love on the last one, and I hope this one is a nice extension of it ;)

________________

“Have you ever considered going brunette? Whoa!” I sense the knife before I see it and manage to expertly dodge it with a laugh. “Hey, my teammate said I’m not allowed to get stabbed anymore, big guy,” I shun, turning in my spot, kicking the man in the nuts, and as he folds over in pain, I hold his head perfectly to knee him in the face, hearing a satisfying crunch, causing him to land with a thump to my side. “Rude to interrupt conversations, too, dude.” 

Currently, we were in the middle of a stakeout… Or what started as a stakeout and now is a full-on brawl. 

Nat and I were rudely interrupted in our conversation about disguises we wanted to try, when an explosion in the facility we were monitoring took over the west wing. 

“I’ve done a wig,” Nat answers as she jumps, doing one of her classic moves where she’s sat on the shoulders of her assaulter, choking him out with her thighs before flinging her body to where she’s standing again casually and the man is incapacitated passed out on the floor. “Not that I didn’t find it flattering, but it’s harder to dye back with such a dark color.” She shrugs as she moves on to her next victim. 

I bend grabbing the knife from the man I just took down and flip it a few times in my hand. “Makes sense.” I nod with a convinced look. “On your right,” I hum, and she ducks while I throw the knife perfectly to where it lodges itself in the thigh of her attacker. 

A blood-curdling scream sounds at his pain, and I pout at him in fake sympathy as Nat shoots her widow bite as he falls, making him shake in shock before passing out. 

“What about you?” she asks with a breath, brushing her hair out of her face. “Ever considered a neon green?” 

“What? No. Am I trying to get caught in this undercover scenario?” I reload my gun before holstering it, and we start jogging to our next spot. 

“I just think it’d be fun to venture away from the neutral tones for once. Maybe there would be a mission where you did need to be found and-” Nat’s cut off by coms in our ears. 

“Ladies, enough salon talk,” Tony’s voice comes through. “We have a situation in the northeast corridor with much more pressing matters happening!” 

“We’re coming!” Nat groaned. “God. Micromanager is in full force today.” 

“Besides, Y/N’s skin complexion wouldn’t work with a neon green. Maybe a pink, though…” Tony continues before his comms cut out, and he’s back to shooting things from the sky.

“Oh, pink would be really good with your skin tone,” Nat seconds as we turn a corner. 

“No one is dying their hair pink! I could use some backup!” Bucky’s shouts come from the comms next.

“Where’s Steve?” Nat asks, pausing at a fork in the halls before signaling me to follow. 

“Caught up at the moment,” Steve’s grunts came through my earpiece. 

“Almost there, Barnes!” I note as we come to the hall where he’s supposedly located. “And I’ll have you know, if I want to dye my hair pink, I’ll damn well dye my hair pink!” 

“Guns, Y/N,” Bucky groans. “I have guns going off around me and at me. I’m not worried about a fake scenario right now. I’m worried about a very real one that’s-” He’s cut off and grunts a few times. “Please just-” 

The two men he was up against fall slack to the ground, and he’s left panting with relief as he turns back to me, standing at the end of the hall with my gun lowering down to my side. 

“Please, what? I like it when you use your manners,” I smirk as I walk up proudly to him. 

“You need to be humbled a touch,” he notes, shaking his head as he checks his weapons and reloads them while I walk to stand by him. 

I roll my eyes before assessing our surroundings as he gears up. “You’re just jealous because the girls have more fun with undercover makeovers. You want a pink wig too?” I tease, poking his shoulder. 

He playfully shoves my own and makes me teeter some as I laugh. 

“I got the information!” Steve’s shout come back through. “We can wrap this up.” 

“Thank God,” I groan, adjusting my holster on my hip. “I have dinner plans.” 

“Sorry to interrupt your nightly, never-changing program,” Tony snarks. 

“It’s ok. You can compensate by paying for my meal,” I retort back, pushing the button in my ear to keep it in place. “Speaking of compensation…” 

“Y/N, I swear if you say you stole my credit card information again,” Tony groans. 

“What, me? No… I would nev-” 

“Shut it. I don’t even have the energy to fight you.” 

I turn to Bucky and wink, and he’s biting back a laugh with a wide smile. 

“You’re a mess, you know that?” he says lowly, the comms not picking up on us. 

“You like it,” I shrug and start moving down the corridor, where Nat’s waving us on to follow. 

“That I do,” he hums, following behind me and playfully kicking my ass with the tip of his boot. “Now, these dinner plans…” 

“Interested?” 

“More than you know…” 

____________________

Back at the compound, freshly out of the shower, I hear a knock on my door. “Just got out of the shower, but the doors unlocked!” I shout. 

“Dinner’s arrived!” Bucky shouts, shutting the door behind him carefully. 

“Thank God. I’m starving,” I grumble, throwing my sweatshirt over my head after getting dressed. “I’ll send Tony a thank you card later for covering tonight's meal,” I hum, drying my hair with a towel as I come into the room. 

The greased takeout bag smells fresh of hole-in-the-wall dinner food, making my mouth water. I grin as Bucky places it on the coffee table in front of my couch and starts arranging the containers for us to splurge. 

“No, you won’t,” Bucky responds to my thank you card comment. 

“No, I won’t,” I agree, jumping over the back of the couch and bouncing into the seat next to him. “Hmm, you smell nice.” I’ve come to learn, and so has Bucky, that his body wash might as well be my kryptonite. 

“I can say the same for-,” he bumps me with his elbow before his eyes narrow on my exposed shoulder, and without a second thought, he grabs my arms and moves my body to face him. “What’s that?” 

“What’s what?” I ask, looking down at the spot he’s glaring at as best as I can. 

“You got a cut,” he points out, hovering his fingers around the area and moving my sweatshirt out of the way. 

Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have cut the neckline to half my sweatshirt after that stupid TikTok trend I saw the kids doing… Or at least worn one that wasn’t butchered tonight.

“Buck, it’s literally a scratch. And I’m genuinely not downplaying it at all,” I note, grabbing his wrist and trying to move his hands away, but they have an iron grip on me. 

Or should I say, vibranium grip on me?! Haha! Get it?.. No? Ok, moving on…

But seriously. The cut was just that. A cut. It wasn’t anything like the night we talked things out months and months ago. That one had become slightly scarred, whereas this one will be scabed over in the morning and likely be gone in 2-3 days. I might as well have gotten into it with a cat who was pissed when he figured out he’d been put on a diet. 

“A cut’s a cut,” Bucky argues, looking up at me. “Did you clean it?” 

“Yes, I cleaned it in the shower with the rest of my body. I disinfected it, and it has that balm on it. And before you ask,” I say just as he opens his mouth. “Yes, it’s that special salve you had Banner make for me. I’m set.” 

Bucky had become a little more intense when it came to my injuries since about three missions ago, I had moved at the perfect time to redirect a knife headed right at him, but it sliced my wrist in the redirection, and much to my misfortune, it was laced with something. 

To add to the list of medications he’s had Banner concoct specifically for my clumsy self (which were in the double digits at this point), I now have a poison control cream that counteracts most toxins and keeps me from saying hello to Heaven sooner than I hope. 

“You don’t feel weird or anything?” His eyes are scanning mine and my face for any lies or other injuries I haven’t told him about, and I’ve come to learn if it makes him feel better to double-check up to 20x before being satisfied, I’ll allow it. 

“I’m right as rain,” I nod, smiling at him softly, squeezing my grip on his wrist in reassurance. “The only thing I’m feeling is hungry and tired. So, what movie are we watching that I’ll inevitably fall asleep on you during?” 

He hesitates for a moment and then nods, dropping his hands and going back to the food. 

“I was thinking Tombstone,” he answers, grabbing one of the to-go containers with fries and a burger and handing it to me. 

“Another Western? What’s got you on the cowboy kick?” I ask, taking it and popping it open, instantly attacked by the smell of freshly seasoned fries. 

“You keep nicknaming me cowboy, so I figured I should have a little background knowledge of the profession,” he winks at me over his shoulders as he gets his own food together. 

“Oh, yeah? You like the nickname?” I ask, nudging him with my knee. 

“When it comes from you? Yeah. Sam? No. Without hesitation, I will start adding laxatives to his protein shakes if he keeps it up.” 

I laugh at their friendship, and we start up the movie, diving into our much-deserved greasy meal. 

_____________

The next day, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Wanda are lounging on the living room couch, all doing their own thing. Wanda and Sam are watching Sex in the City. Steve was reading a book called The Secret War of Laos, and Bucky was on his computer, fully engrossed in whatever was on the screen.

Nat clears her throat, and I stand next to her in a baseball cap with my hair completely hidden underneath. Everyone looks up, and instantly, Bucky’s eyes fall on me. He smiles for a split second before it drops, and he furrows his eyebrows at my appearance. 

“We have an announcement,” Nat smiles mischievously. 

“Oh God…” Bucky rubs his temples and looks down in his lap in seconds. 

“You don’t even know what we’re going to say,” I argue, not able to hold back my laugh. 

“I can use context clues,” he grumbles before looking up, his eyes squinted as if he had a bad headache forming, and it was already making his eyesight worse. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Nat waves him off as Sam and Wanda chuckle, and Steve looks oblivious to what is happening. “Anyway. Y/N and I made a bet and, well… Y/N lost.” 

“Surprisingly, not mad about it,” I shrug, arms crossed over my chest.

“Of course, you’re not…” Bucky mumbles, shutting his computer and putting it to the side.

“What did I miss exactly? Because everyone seems to know what’s happening…” Steve asks, confused, taking in everyone’s reactions. 

“Come on. Let’s see it.” The brunette interlaces his hands and rests them in his lap as he watches me. 

I smile at Nat, who’s also grinning wide, and move to take the ballcap off.

“Awesome,” Sam is the first to say something, and Wanda claps and gushes. 

“Oh wow, that’s so cute!” She smiles widely. 

“Whoa. That’s…” Steve turns his head to the side.

“Pink,” Bucky finishes for him. His eyebrows raise in what looks like surprise as he takes in my new hair. 

“Do you like it?” Nat asks the group, and there’s a mix of reactions as they talk over each other. 

I laugh with them for a little before walking over to Bucky’s side of the couch. Plopping down next to him, the crew talks about their own personal transformations they’d like to do and quickly forget about us in the corner. 

“Thoughts?” I ask, smirking up at Bucky as I sit almost wholly tucked into his side. His arm comes around my shoulders, resting there as he looks at me from the side. 

“I didn’t think you’d actually do it,” he chuckles once, taking it in up close now. 

“Eh, I thought a change-up would be fun. Change. Is. Good,” I shrug, poking his chest with each word. 

He moves to touch my hair, and as soon as his fingers touch it, his face contorts into an investigative look. 

“What?” I ask, biting my lip as he’s already catching on to my ploy. 

“This isn’t,” he rubs a strand of hair between his fingers, studying the texture. The crease in between his eyebrows drops instantly, and he deadpans to me. “It’s a wi-” 

“Shhh!” I hush him, almost jumping in his lap as I cover my hand over his lips. He freezes, eyes wide, and his hand instinctively goes to my waist to balance me. “Let me live this fantasy a little longer,” I smile, holding back a giggle. 

“This is a fantasy of yours?” He asked behind my hands, words muffled and raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe fantasy isn’t the right word-” 

“Because it’s starting to turn into one for me,” he cuts in, and I can feel his smirk in the palm of my hand. 

I slowly drop it, astonished at his confession. “I’m sorry. Did I hear that right?” I ask, peering at our friends who are now arguing with Sam about growing a mohawk, which he is all for, apparently. 

Instead of answering, he licks his lips as he brings his hands to the wig and plays with strands of it.

“Maybe not the pink, but… How’d you feel about a violet?” he asked, eyes slowly rising to mine. 

“Oh. My. God…” I say lowly, sinking back in my seat, pressed to his side. “Did we just discover a new kink of yours?” 

“I fear we may have…” His voice was low and made a shiver go down my back. 

“I hold no fear at all,” I smirked back at him, looking him up and down. “All I feel about that statement is excitement…” 

“Where exactly did you get this? Because it looks pretty realistic…” His fingers still play with the wig, which, thanks to Nat, is a higher-end one. How he caught on to it being a wig is impressive. 

“Doesn’t matter,” I shrug. “What matters is I happen to know they carry all the colors…” I smirk. 

“Interesting.” 

“Interesting, indeed.” 

He starts to stand up, and I’m confused by the action until he turns and offers me a hand. Once I’m standing, he leans closer and down to whisper in my ear, my hand still in his.

“We can keep this one for now. I have a few ideas still.” 

I look up at him, pleasant surprise on my face. “You know how I said change is good?” He nods with a smirk, his hand squeezing mine in response. “This,” I motion between us. “This is a change I’m glad happened.” 

“Same here,” he winked, pulling my arm so I was flush against him, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, escorting me out of the room.

“Where are they going?” Nat asks, confused at our sudden leave. 

Everyone turns to see the tail end of us leaving, and Wanda laughs after a second and quickly covers her mouth. “God, pray for her,” she says under her breath, and Nat gives her a look. She tries to play it off by coughing and shaking her head. “Sorry, something in my throat.”

Marvel Tags:

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[westside-rot]

Therapy Hours

Pairing: husband!terry richmond x black fem!reader

Words: 3.7k words

Summary: Terry seeks comfort from the only person who can give it to him.

Notes: Minors DNI. Smut, oral: fem receiving (0ver-stimulation) and cursing. Light by my standards lol. I had to force myself to stop revising this so please forgive any errors. I'll find em eventually and fix it. 😭 In the future I plan on alternating between fluff and smut so the next one should be fluffy/angsty.

Here's a visual of the position used. Not quite the same but close enough 👀: *nsfw pic link* *link #2*

Also please don't repost this on any other sites. Reblogs/comments/likes make me happy.

Tags: @megamindsecretlair @melaninpov

Something isn’t right. You look over to the side and discover the space occupied by your husband is empty. He was there a moment ago, proud and silent in his admiration for you while you sat mesmerized by the view. This picnic was the culmination of a month-long struggle to find balance with work and each other. All you cared about was reconnecting with him in a garden straight out of a fairytale for as long as possible, forever if you had it your way. Now he was nowhere to be found.

You rationalize his absence by assuming he must’ve forgotten something in the car. Likely an item you’d noticed earlier and convinced yourself not to purchase. Satisfied with your answer you lay back on your thick cotton blanket face to the infinite stretch of blue, uninterrupted by clouds with your arms and legs stretched out in opposite directions as far they'll comfortably reach. That’s when you notice the dress you’d been wearing has somehow vanished as well.  You don’t bother pursuing logic this time. It’s beautiful outside and warmed to the ideal temperature for sunbathing. Now you’re a part of that beauty, perfectly made and carefree.

The sun’s warmth penetrates your brown skin and you relax into a gratified acceptance with your eyes closed and a smile on your face. A breeze grazes your skin. You part your legs to it exploration. It's subtle at first then harder as it sweeps up your legs and fixates on your intimate parts. You moan as your hips begin to move in a sensual dance interrupted by something you can’t name. Then you realize the golden reddish hue behind your eyelids is gone. It's dark, darker than it should be for the time of day. You find it impossible to care with so much pleasure running through your system. It doesn’t matter who or what is responsible for your predicament. They can keep you so long as they promise never to stop.

The unknown force answers with more delicious suction. It draws your body into a tight arch and pulls the breath from your lungs. Breathing is pointless where you’re headed. While your brain can’t fathom the destination, it doesn’t get in the way of supplication once you're finally pushed over the edge.  

"Terry..." You moan the name forever present in your heart and mind. His location is still unknown, you trust him to always find you.

"I’m here love." The voice is muffled. You recognize its owner the second you hear it.   The pleasurable void you’ve fallen into rematerializes as soft sheets against your back. Everything else gradually comes into focus, your husband's massive hands anchored on your waist, the prick of his facial hair as his tongue and lips move along your slick folds made warm by each labored breath he takes. Your eyes reset themselves forward as you attempt to reorient your place in the real world, a simple task made difficult by his unwillingness to pull his tongue from your drenched hole. Delirious but still guided by habit you manage to catch sight of the alarm clock on your nightstand. 3:00am.

"Shit…We have to be up in a few more hours--" Your hands act in contradiction to your words, pulling him in closer by the neck to keep him on the right spot. "Baby..."

"I know." He flattens his tongue against your clit and latches on. You realize he's responding to the urgency in your voice and not the truth you’re attempting to speak.

Where your first orgasm was tempered by your dream, the second attacks your senses at full force. His strong capable hands absorb the shock as they hold you in place.  It's several minutes before your thrashing subsides to gentle undulations from the heavy breaths passing through your body. His fingers knead the flesh around your waistline. Even though his lips are still dangerously close to your pussy you feel more like the wife he’s attempting to soothe and less like the midnight snack you've been made into. You melt among the pillows with your eyes closed one hand loosely cradling the back of his head, the other bent and draped across your face as he makes out with your inner thighs. It takes you a while to recover your voice, a little longer to remember what you intended to say next.

"What’s wrong papa? Did your regret for not playing with me earlier finally wake you up?”

He doesn’t speak right away. The answer reaches you in the silence long before his words give confirmation.

"I’d take regret over these dreams I keep having. They’re getting worse."

Six months ago, Terry nearly lost his life attempting to protect his cousin. His outer wounds have healed up nicely. It's the scars left on his soul that provoke your bloodlust. If you had your way those piece of shit cops would’ve received their karma long before the worst happened. Mike would be alive. The man you love, a man accustomed to sleeping peacefully by your side every night wouldn’t be routinely attacked by demons you couldn’t see.

Most nights you’re promoted to the role of big spoon. You hate the circumstances, but it settles the panic in your heart to hold your mountain of a man in your arms and grant him the protection he’s given you over the years. Tonight, he's found a different way to cope, a method worth keeping in your toolbelt even if it means resembling a zombie for the rest of the day.

"Baby I’m sorry. You should’ve woken me up." You reach down to massage his ears with both thumbs before attempting to bring him to eye level. He resists by nuzzling his face in your thigh.

"Technically I did wake you up." He mumbles, filtering kisses between increasingly labored breaths. The path his lips are taking force you into a conundrum. Press the issue or trust his methods. Brains weren’t meant to work this hard at this hour. It’s cruel and unfair when you realize Terry isn’t weighted down by the same predicament. Every time his breath passes over your sensitive lips you feel your logic slipping further away. He’s giving you a reason to forget and move on. You’re also his wife. The one person on this shitty planet he can always rely on, the only person crazy enough to sacrifice a third orgasm so close after the second to protect his heart from the lie he was attempting to maintain.

You find a compromise in the minute that passes, maybe two. It’s hard to separate the details when he’s making every attempt to bury his face in your pussy. You struggle to be assertive. It’s the desperation in your voice when you say his name that eventually gets him to lift his head.

The room is dark, the moonlight casts a glow across the top half of his face just enough to see his eyes. He reminds you of a sad puppy being chastised for something they don’t understand. The expression breaks your heart and makes you smile as you stroke his jawline, your upturned lips on full display to match his sad look.

“I need to make sure you’re okay and not telling me what you think I need to hear. We deal with this together. Not apart.”

He nods and turns his face into your hand to kiss your palm. There's an uncomfortable silence in the room, but you remain patient, resisting the urge to pry the answer from his now visibly tense body.

“I dreamed I lost you.” His delayed response is both a relief and heartbreaking as the previous dreams he’s shared replay in your mind. All include some variation of him being imprisoned. None include a happy ending for him or for Mike. Leaning down to kiss the top of his head, you mimic his vice like hold once he buries his face in your stomach.

Regret mixes with the anger you were already struggling to contain. It fills the room, ensnaring you in contradictory thoughts. Sit on his face to make you both feel better or do what Terry refused to and murder the men responsible for making him feel anything less than a hero, for desecrating the space in his heart reserved for the people he loved.  You could only really be mad at yourself for pressing the issue. Orgasms were a far better reward than listening to the gruesome details of your presumed demise. Given what he's been through your mind takes you to the worse possible options. You’re prepared to listen but aren’t sure how you'll get back to sleep afterward this.

"Nothing is going to happen to me." You soothe him with more kisses and tender reassurances. He answers with a tighter grip like he’s expecting something to challenge your words.

"We fought about everything…” He starts. You prepare for the story to get progressively worse. “One day you show up with some random ass light skinned fucker with a crooked hairline. I’m thinking he’s the new gardener only to find out you’re leaving me for him. You kicked me out. Had me sleeping in a tent in the backyard while some bum ass bitch wore my clothes and fucked my wife. Losing you is one thing. Losing you to a leprechaun who can’t grow a proper beard is bullshit."

 You were anticipating having your throat slashed or a hole torn in your chest by a monster you couldn’t outrun. This was somehow worse because Terry was dead serious yet nothing he said warranted a serious response.

"Ok, first of all, you’re light skinned too."

Clearly you were being tested and failing miserably. You'd taken a deep breath in the hopes of drawing something positive and meaningful into your thoughts. All you managed to do was bring up a past hilarious debate about him being caramel and not chocolate like he proclaimed himself to be. Terry’s head shot up like someone had lit a fire underneath him. You can feel him staring you down and instantly crack under the pressure.

"Be serious woman."

The poor man is clearly traumatized. You bite down on your cheek for his sake before giving him a direct view of your face, wide eyed and filled with doctored innocence that crumbles by the second. “I’m trying!” You fuss. “But you’re being awfully specific about this man's appearance."

"I saw the fucker clear as day like I’ve seen him before…I’m taking you to work. Might even stay just to be safe."

The conviction in his voice tells you not to brush off his words.  You can imagine him now posted up in your office surveying the area. He wouldn’t hover or say much, his domineering presence and chiseled muscles on full display would guarantee no woman within a 30-mile radius was productive. You would be at the top of the list. Unlike half the women in your office you had zero decorum in your husband’s presence. The last thing you needed were your colleagues gossiping about you getting fucked in your office.

"My dear sweet husband aren’t you being a little unreasonable?” Posing the question in a song doesn’t have the desired effect. It merely gives him a reason to frown harder.

"Hell no. I’m not taking anything for granted anymore, especially when it pertains to you. Far as I’m concerned this was a message from God to protect my home.”

There’s plenty to laugh at. Even less to challenge. You were looking at your answered prayer, a literal message from God to prove men like Terry weren’t a fantasy. This one was real and more than you could’ve hoped for. In honor of that gift you smile and nod in agreement and prepare to be followed everywhere.

“I can’t say you’re wrong. I can tell you no one at work fits the description.” He ponders while you stroke his neck. He isn’t silent for long.

“He could be a new security guard or the person delivering the mail."

"Mhm, I could forgive the wrinkles in a UPS uniform. Something about those brown shorts makes me feral. I’m getting wet thinking em." The laugh you’ve been holding sputters from you, putting tears in your eyes.

Terry sucks his teeth and gestures to raise up completely. He doesn’t get far when you throw your arms around his neck. He grunts but lets you have your way. "It's not funny."

"You’re right baby. It's not.  Dream me is a dumb ass bitch. I’d never leave you, especially not for an obviously unattractive man with tiny feet and a crooked hair line. You’re so pretty daddy. No one with sense would ever look anywhere else." You lean forward to coax a smile from him with a kiss. You feel his jaw loosen and his fingers grip up your ass. "I love you."

All the humor in your voice is gone, replaced with an unmistakable sincerity that eases Terry back to the calm levelheaded man he's always been. "You’re taking the necessary steps to heal. It's not something you'll ever forget but you’re going to be okay. We both are. The fact we can laugh about any of this is progress. Now I’ll promise to keep my sidepiece out the house you pay bills in if you promise not to stalk me from the parking lot."

He chuckles. "Promise."

It's nearly 4am. In two more hours you'll have to be up for work. Hardly enough time for a decent rest but your body will hate you if you don’t try to get back to sleep. You kiss your husband one last time and gently lay a hand on his chest to pull away only to be met with resistance.

"Wait. I still need to prove it to myself."

"Prove what baby?"

“That you won’t give up on me. That I won’t lose you." He speaks against your lips, his voice moving through you like the low rumble before a storm. It stirs up the lust cast aside for his benefit. You feel it in your belly and everywhere his tongue has been.  The energy in the room changes with the dark look in his eyes. He drinks you in saying nothing and everything with his calculated gaze. Awareness pricks at your skin off the strength of his possession moves. Then his hands are on you, lowering your arms from around his neck to your sides. He seizes your waist and hums as if contemplating something. Before you can ask the question, you lose the words in the swift rearrangement on to your stomach. You gasp from the shock while the rest of you uses all your energy to push against the sturdy fingers holding your wrists down. Freedom isn’t your goal. You resist solely to reinforce his dominance and feed your desire to test his nature. You want him to stake his claim and issue a warning to anyone daring to look in your direction even if the rival in question is a phantom conjured up by his subconscious.

Handcuffs aren’t an option for obvious reasons. You wonder if binding your hands together with rope will achieve the same shuddering response to being cloaked with his weight. You’re completely helpless and content to stay right where you are, one with mattress, one with him.

"Say you'll never leave me." His warm breath passes over your ear before his teeth sink down on flesh.

"I'll never leave you." You whisper back, moaning appreciatively when he kisses down the column of your neck down between your shoulder blades. His hands aren’t pinning you down anymore, but you try your best not to move as his tongue traces a warm and agonizingly slow line down your spine to your ass.

"I’ve never taken a life. I will if it means keeping you safe…You belong to me " Terry had taken down an entire police force without sending anyone to hell where they belonged. It was comical to think a man she never met; a man who didn’t exist could provoke him to use lethal force. The unexpected sting of teeth clamping down on your backside jolts you out of your musing. He's fully awake now, unfettered by slumber and past traumas. He doesn’t need to be gentle or ask for permission. The pain from that discovery offers an indescribable contribution to the pleasure you’ve experienced thus far. You can’t distinguish the two anymore the harder he bites.

"Yes." It's an reiteration and an apology for earlier all wrapped up in jarring acceptance. This isn’t the man you fell asleep next to hours ago. You aren’t the same either. His influence has unlocked a part of your brain that craves the pain and the pleasure it brings. If branding you with his teeth will bring him peace you want that too.

You moan and arch toward your captor’s mouth. He answers the invitation with a growl, yanking you on to your knees, driving your face into the comforter to deepen the arch in your back. You’re already spread obscenely open. He spreads you further with his thumbs and stops moving. He’s probably smiling in that subtle way you catch when he thinks no one’s watching. This isn’t quite the same. He's taunting you with proximity, close enough to feel the heat from his breath, far enough away to create an ache only he could soothe.

"Please." He's reduced you to this, folded in half and shameless in your attempts to reach his mouth. When he does finally lick his way inside everything else in the world melts away.

He's merciful but also deliberate in the way flattens the wide breadth of his tongue along the length of you, slurping you up like ripe fruit he intends to savor. All you can do is shudder and mewl as he groans into your slick heat, rubbing his face in it, masking himself with your scent. The message isn’t for you. It's for him. You hope it soothes the disquiet in his heart the way it's cleared out the baggage in your mind. All thoughts lead back to him, the thorough way he draws tight circles over your clit and the depths he reaches as he simulates the way he would fuck you if he had the willpower to trade places with his tongue.

He makes himself comfortable, stretching out his legs alongside your writhing body. His ankles provide a stable anchor for trembling hands. Then they’re caging you in, limiting your range of movement.

The sheets absorb your screams as you cum without warning and no sign it’ll end any time soon. You push toward his face at the same rate you pull away. Escape isn’t the goal. It's the only proper response to sensory overload. Indescribably good and too much to handle all at once. Terry is right there with you, latched on and undeterred by your frenetic movements, grunting indecipherable praise despite the pressure your thighs have placed on his ears.  At this rate you’re going to claw the sheets to shreds or beat a hole in the mattress. Then he's putting his entire body into it, crossing his ankles behind your head to lock you in place.

Weeks ago, you expressed an interest in learning Jiu-Jistu. You expected detailed commentary while you observed from the sidelines or watched a video. This wasn’t how you envisioned your first lesson or any lesson. You weren’t even sure if this was a legit move or something he’d improvised. The absurdity of it doesn’t register correctly in your mind. Instead you’re grateful, grateful for his strength, for his persistence, for his ability to find healing through forced orgasms even it’s obvious he’s lost his mind in the process. Unlike the dream version you take your vows seriously. You accept Terry at his best and his worst, through nightmares and a demonic possession. 

Panic opens your mind to a ridiculous thought. He's going to kill you.  The irrational part of your brain is convinced you won’t survive another orgasm. You can’t bring yourself to resist the rapid strumming on your clit and the spike in pleasure it produces. You’d gladly give your life for it. Leave earth with a smile on your lips and a memory worth immortalizing in the afterlife. To call your bluff Terry brings his thumb from your fluttering hole to the soft flesh of your ass.  He prolongs the suspense with teasing swipes around the rim then very slowly pushes through your defenses when he feels you’re ready for it. Something in your brain malfunctions. You start to whine like a caught animal. They’re the kind of sounds you’d find embarrassing if you weren’t in the presence of a grown ass man.

The last thing you hear before you explode is Terry’s deep voice in your ear. "Good girl."

When you return to consciousness, you’re still face down with a damp spot under your cheek and under your pelvis. Terry is stretched across your back crooning in your ear about how proud he is of you, how beautiful you are, how in love with you he is. His touch is equally soothing as he trails down your forearms to interlock your fingers. You haven’t stopped trembling. It’s worse in your legs. Even the slightest movement revives the memory of where his tongue has been. You find comfort in the fetal position anyway. Terry is right there to reinforce the hold, cradling you with his entire body so he doesn’t lose you in the subspace you’ve drifted off to. When the consequence of his overindulgence subsides to a light shudder you feel his coiled lips at your temple.

“Are you proud of yourself?”  

“Maybe.” He drawls, the pride evident in his voice. “You’re still shaking baby. Are you good? Did I hurt you?

“Of course you didn’t. I’m a little floaty but I kinda want you to break me again--just to make sure I like it.” You offer a lazy smile and reach back to scratch his cheek. "What about you? Are you finally convinced I won’t run off with your ugly ass replacement?”

His laughter sounds like music.  You wonder how he can find the joy in anything with his stiff dick left unattended and drooling precum on your backside. It’s all you can think about now.

"I am."

"Good because it’s never going to happen. I’m also not going to work today. I can’t function like this." Despite your predicament you use the distraction to your advantage and raise your thigh to accommodate him. A little maneuvering slots the tip between your lips but doesn't quite make it inside. You whimper and try again.

“No. You’ve had enough sweetheart.” You’re more than a little disappointed when he pushes your legs shut. 

“I can keep going. Let me take care of you.”

“You have taken care of me baby.” A kiss is all it takes to end your pouting. Like a greedy brat, you twist around to claim another, then one more to sample your flavor on his lips. His dick stirs against you, it doesn’t persuade him to be anything less than noble. “I plan on keeping you in this bed all day.  Get some rest. I’ll have you later.”

Terry’s demeanor remains unchanged as he realigns your back to his chest and slips is muscled leg over your restless ones. He’s given you a preview, a reminder, and a warning. You aren’t sure how well you’ll sleep knowing what you know but you snuggle up to his arm tucked beneath the pillow.

“I love you.”

Those three words calm the restlessness in your heart and get you to shut your eyes. 

"I love you too handsome. Try not to dream about me."

[pushingboi]

The mid afternoon sunlight filters through the window of our bedroom. I keep my eyes shut as I awaken, drinking up every last second of our siesta while I can.

You wake up as I stir, and watch through sleepy half-lidded eyes as I roll over my gravid belly to lay on my back and stretch, taking a deep breath and sighing contentedly.

I kick the blankets down the bed and curiously peel my shirt back over my bump. Inside I feel the lively baby squirm and kick, roiling about as if getting more frustrated about their own inability to stretch out. You reach out and snuggle into me, placing a hand on my belly, and I meet you with a sweet kiss.

I smile and place my hands beside yours, immersing myself in feeling the life roiling inside my womb, nestled safe and warm within my belly.

The baby chills out and stills for a moment, and just then my womb tweaks obviously, startling you awake. "Oh shit, was that a contraction?" You ask.

"Noooo..? Maybe..?" I play puzzled. "Maybe it's just Braxton-hicks?"

I can't fool you and we both know it. You jump up worriedly. "How long have you been having them? Did they just start? How strong are they? That one felt pretty strong.. Are you going into labour? Or already in labour? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Okay, calm down, calm down." I reassure. "If you want an answer you have to give me a chance to respond." I sigh.

"I've been having contractions for a few hours. They're getting stronger but I don't know how close I am. I'm still fine. They hurt, like, a lot. But not bad enough that I can't nap, right?"

"Shit; we've gotta get you to the hospital!"

"Fuck no. We talked about this already, love, and you don't get to decide to change your mind. No way in hell I'm going to a hospital. I don't need some stranger tying me up and prodding me while I'm trying to have your baby; you can do that just as well yourself, can't you?" I tease.

-

The evening sun shines in through the window of our bedroom. A cool breeze flows through the open screen and over my bare skin, the pleasant sensation a welcome distraction from the pain.

You rub my lower back tenderly as you watch over my labour. I've long since shed my shirt and pants, rejecting the hot and restricting fabric to let the rays of sun bathe my pale skin.

I arch my back as a contraction strikes. I lean into you breathlessly, and let out a very long groan as the ache tears through my body. Halfway though I pant to catch my breath, and then groan again. The contractions are getting longer, and harder, and faster, as they begin to fall into a rhythm, the percussive march that heralds forth the birth.

"Fuck.." I pant. "Fuck, it's so much. I can't.."

You run your fingers through my long hair as you soothe me gently. "You're doing fine. You're almost through this part, and soon you'll be pushing out my baby." I smile a little. You continue teasing. "Yeah? You like the sound of that, don't you? There's only one thing you love more than being this heavy and swollen with my babies; and that's getting to birth them out."

I tremble a little, for some motley reason of anticipation, pain, excitement and exhaustion. Just as the thought crosses my mind that I'm due for another contraction, it rolls in like a slow, long tide, enveloping my senses in the intensity of the pressure and- "Ah! Ah, oh god, oh fuck..! It's coming! Th-the baby's coming!"

I pinch my eyes shut and try not to howl with the brilliant pain. You move beside me and go to feel for my dilation. To your surprise, you meet the head already eagerly descending into my birth canal, waters intact.

"You're right, love, it's time for you to give birth. Are you ready to push?"

"Nnnnoo I'm not! It's- oh god, it's- nnn.. yes! Yes, yes, I'm puuuushinng..!"

"Good boy! Come on, the contraction's still coming. Push!"

It doesn't take much convincing. The urge overtakes me and I bear down, holding my breath and channeling the pressure downwards through my abdomen.

I break and take but a second to breathe before continuing. My face scrunches and my belly tenses, all hands on deck as I toil.

I gasp for air, winded from the effort. "Breathe, breathe, love. Take your time, your body knows what to do."

I lay back and stare at the ceiling, slowing my breathing, and rest, as the contraction has subsided, taking with it the excitement and urge to push. "I hope it's not to big.. I hope it's not stuck.."

"What? I thought you liked it that way. Makes it more interesting, doesn't it?" You wink.

I want so badly to be upset with you, I want so badly not to find that funny, but try as I might to deny it I feel the humour lift some weight from my body and something like a smile tease at the corner of my mouth.

"Is it crowning yet?" I ask.

"You can feel for yourself if you want. But no, not yet. You've still got a ways to go so conserve your strength."

I nod. I lay still for a few more moments and gather my strength. Just as the contraction begins I haul myself upwards into a kneeling position.

I take a few deep breaths and lean forward. "Get ready and push, love!" I steady myself. "Push!"

As I push I feel the difference with the change of position. Gravity starts to do its share, and while it doesn't do much for opening my pelvis, I can feel the movement nonetheless.

I feel the rhythm, finally, as it starts to set in. I rock back and forth and breathe and push, losing myself in the cycle - breathe, rock, push. Breathe, rock, push. Breathe, rock, push. Breathe, rock, push.

The head inches downwards, boring its way through my flesh. As it comes closer and closer to the sensitive opening it feels different, more. It really feels like the erupting force threatens to split me open. I barely notice that as I've pushed I've leaned forward slowly until it's easier to make myself comfortable on all fours.

It's here, watching me strain and sweat, that you realize just how helpless you are. You shuffle around me to get a better look.

I grasp at the sheets, the bed, at my belly, at you, desperate and writhing beneath the intensity. I pant and pant and puuuush, puuuush, PUUSH!

My pussy begins to part as the head encroaches upon it. The intact sac glistens as it appears between my legs. Face into the bed my moans are muffled. You rub my back and comfort me in vain; it's all up to me now to give birth to your baby.

With the next contraction my body tenses. My legs tremble, my breath wavers and I sob through the pain. The sobs curl into a determined wail as i bear down, pressure rippling through my belly and hips. The head continues to squeeze through, stretching into sight bit by bit.

"Here it comes, love. I can see it. Don't stop pushing."

I obey, choking my breath through another contraction. I heave, and push, the head moving so slowly towards the world, gripped firmly within my birth canal.

The contraction lulls, and so does my urge to push, and I'm left with nothing but the awareness of the huge baby's position in my pelvis, filling the space between my hips like nothing I've ever felt. I rock my hips side to side, forward and back, savouring the sweet stretch and the bitter pain threatening to tear down my consciousness.

You look on with pride and.. oh such lust. You can't deny how much it turns you on to see me like this, bent over and stretched open before you, labouring and toiling while I give birth to your baby. The waistband of your pants is all there is between you and ecstasy but you resist thre urge to touch yourself.

The rhythm returns and I whine as I lean into the contraction.

"C'mon baby, push it out for me. Push it out!"

"NNnnnggghh.. I'm... pushing... as hard as I can.."

The head begins to crown, my bulging slit parting around it. As I release the pressure and catch my breath it retreats back inside. "Hah.. hah.. ha.. aaa-hhhhhnnnnnnnnngh...!"

I bear down with all my strength, working through the stinging crown. The supple skin of my cunt grows thin and tight as it clings to the slowly protruding head of our baby.

"It's co-ming! Oh fuck, it's coming out!" I cry.

You've got a pretty sweet view while I push for you. My ass in the air, bearing down while your new baby squeezes into view between my legs.

I sink down into the bed and scream into the pillow, the unquenchable burning of the crown battling the insurgent urge to push. My poor tight, engorged little pussy bulges all around the head.

"It's stretching me open… Oh my god, the head.."

I breathe and pant in desperation, the intensity refusing to quell. All I can think and feel is the baby trying to stretch through my abused opening. "It's burning. It's burning. It's so hard.. I can't.. I have to.. I.."

"You're doing so good babe. Feel my baby stretch open the hole I fucked it into. Breathe and let it open you up."

"I have to push so bad. I have to push this baby out.." I start bearing down again one push at a time. "Fuck, it's so hard! I'm trying so hard to give birth but it won't- GAAAAH!" Suddenly the sac breaks inside me, and a little gush of amniotic fluid trickles forth, but the big head stops the rest of the flow like a stuck cork. "AGHHHHHHHHHHH!" The new change in pressure shifts the baby and my vagina finally starts to span around the bulge. "That's it, babe! Push, pushhh, puuuuush!"

"Nnnngghhh... p.. puuuuuuuush...." I groan. I lean my hips back and shift my knees, opening up for the baby to come out. "puuuuuuuuush...!"

"puush... puuuuush...." I keep narrating myself. The head starts to crown fully, stretching all the way. "I'm giving birth to it.. the head is almost out of me.."

"One big push! Cmon, birth it!"

I hold my breath and force everything into one big push. "Ghhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa-aaaah-AHHHHHHH! Ahhh ohhhhh, the head..! ahhhh..... ahhhhh..."

All at once the head shears out between my legs, accompanied by a cascade of fluid which gushes onto the bed below me, carrying the head to dangle out of my birth canal.

"Oh my god, it's coming! My baby is- nnnnhh puuuuuuuushh... puuuush..." The urgency is still there, it's not out yet as I feel the whole body stretch my vagina. "I'm fucking pushing..."

The body slides through ever so slowly, from the shoulders all the way to the hips, in one long push, and then suddenly, finally, the legs slip all the way out from inside me and the gurgling baby falls onto the bed between my legs.

"There's my baby, you did it babe! You did such a good job giving birth to it!"

[space-cowgirllll]

Wildflower

a/n- I'm super sick and might have written this in a NyQuil induced haze lol but I've been obsessed with this song lately and I just couldn't help myself and then these pictures pop up on my Pinterest??? I had to.

Reader is not a girls girl in this I'm sorryyyy.

You're already awake when she starts to stir, laying on your side staring out the small window across from the bed. The pretty blue and pink pastels of the sky are in the early stages of transitioning into a vibrant orange as the sun starts to rise.

This used to be your favorite time of the day. Listening to her breathing mixed with the birds chirping through the small crack in the window. Happy to wake up to her legs intertwined with yours, the warmth radiating from her body against your back. Now? The once comforting feeling of her breath at the nape of your neck sent chills down your spine, her tattooed arm felt like a hundred pound weight around your waist.

A gentle kiss is placed on the back of your head, followed by a mumbled good morning. The old bed creaks as she shuffles to the edge. Your body follows her movements, rolling over to face her. Her short hair is sticking straight up in certain spots from how much she'd tossed and turned all night. She was overdue for a haircut. You watch as she sits there, shoulders slumped and staring at the wall lost in thought. There are dark circles underneath her eyes. It was getting harder to pretend you didn't notice. 

"Are you hungry?" You whisper.

She shakes her head as if she just remembered you were still there and you frown. She hadn't had dinner last night either. "We have to go see Tommy today." 

Ellie gives you a small smile, her fingers run down the bare skin of your arm. You tense when she leans down. Lips just a hair's breadth away from yours when you turn your head to the side, hands pushing against her chest. She huffs when she's met the skin of your cheek instead.

"At least let me brush my teeth first Els." you giggle halfheartedly when she rolls her eyes. Her lips curve up in a grin.

"Okay, weirdo." she moves to press a quick kiss to your hairline instead, giving your hip a small squeeze.

"I'm going to go get Shimmer ready." She speaks into your hair. "I'll meet you at the gate?"

You nod silently, watching her slip out of the room and into the bathroom down the hall. The smile slips off your face the second you hear the sound of water running. 

--

You shift uncomfortably in your seat, eyes focused on the table in front of you. Your hands fidget with the frayed edges of the napkin. To your left, Maira chatters with a couple of the older women in Jackson. You'd been laughing as they shared stories about their lives before when you hear it. A knot in your stomach forms at the sound of her voice, tightening as she gets closer. Your hands clench into fists on your lap. A hand on your arm makes you jump, your knee bumping against the edge of the table. Maria watches you with a knowing look on her face. 

You give her what you think is reassuring smile, but judging by the frown on her face, she's not convinced. You chew on the inside of your cheek wishing you'd been able to stay back at the farm. In your peripheral you check on Ellie. She's hunched over what seems to be a map, while Tommy points to different areas on it. He talking excitedly about something, the determination on his face scares you. 

The last time you were all in the same room together you'd been standing in the sidelines having a drink with Jesse. You happily watching your best friend dance with Ellie, while he avoided looking Dina's way. 

Today, the seat next to hers is empty and the three of you avoid each other as best as you can in a town with a population of three hundred people. 

The ten month old in Dina's arms wiggles around as his chubby hands bang on the table. Little babbles reach your ears over the hum of conversations around you. You chance a quick look at him. It's bittersweet to see so much of your friend in JJ's sweet face. There's a dull pang in your chest, knowing Jesse deserved to be here, watching his son grow. God, you could use a stupid joke or two of his right about now. He'd never let you and Ellie live this down. 

Your eyes involuntarily move to Dina. She's deep in conversation with Jesse's mother. It had been months since you've seen her, and even longer since you'd spoken. You were too ashamed to ask anyone how she was doing knowing it would immediately get back to her. Your closest friend had become a stranger and it was all your fault. But what could you say? Sorry I got involved with your ex girlfriend five months after you broke up, let's still be friends? She'd probably punch you in the face. She had done it for less.

You press your lips together, fighting the bout of nausea that crawls up your throat. Your chair scrapes loudly across the floor, but you don't even care at the looks it earns you. With a rushed goodbye to the women, you book it outside. The humid air does little to help your already clammy skin, your tank top sticking to your back in the most uncomfortable way. 

The doors of the dining hall burst open just a moment later, startling you. Ellie storms out followed by an equally angry Tommy. His lips pulled down in a scowl. She doesn't even seem to notice you're there, striding right past you.

"What the fuck, Tommy?" You whisper shout at the older man, making no move to stop in fear of Ellie getting too far ahead. He just grumbles an apology, a fleeting look of regret on his face as he heads back inside.

Your feet slip slightly as you pick up the pace, the ground still muddy from an unexpected storm the day before. Ellie doesn't even seem fazed by it as she powers through to the stables. She has the decency to look embarrassed when she sees you following, and you try to ignore how much it hurts to know she'd completely forgotten you were there. 

The silence leaves you alone with your thoughts longer than should be allowed. You spend the whole time thinking so hard it feels like your head is going to pop. Remembering how upset Dina had been after the breakup, unable to deal with all the stress of dealing with a grieving partner while navigating the loss of her child's father shortly after finding out she was pregnant. The late nights where you held her as she cried. When no one had heard from Ellie for weeks, you made the trip up to the small farm she and Dina shared for those first short weeks of their return from Seattle. You found her sitting on the porch looking worse for wear. Her attempts to kick you out were futile. It started off innocently at first, you heading over to help her clean or look after the couple of sheep she kept around. Making sure she at least tried some of the food you'd bring over. Ellie was happy to let you do most of the talking, giving her the rundown on whatever the rumor mill was churning that week. 

It had taken months before the Ellie you knew slowly started making an appearance. Her art slowly appearing around the house, the strumming of her guitar becoming background noise while you prepared dinner. The first time she cracked one of her lame jokes you'd stared at her like she'd grown another head. 

Before you knew it you were practically living at the farm and one day when Ellie asked you to just stay, you listened. The look of betrayal on Dina's face as you moved what little you owned out of your house haunted you some nights.

It had been easy to ignore it in the beginning, the guilt overshadowed by the attention Ellie gave you. These days you can't shake the thought that maybe she'd kept you around because she was scared of being alone.

You reluctantly tighten your grip on Ellie, watching the profile of her face as she leads the horse onto the trail that goes back to the farm. She looks back at you, lowering one of her hands to squeeze yours resting on her waist. Try as you might, you had never been the best at consoling the girl in front of you.

As you look back over your shoulder, you contemplate how stupid you'd look if you came back to Jackson alone with your tail tucked between your legs. 

--

"Ellie! Sit still." 

"I am!"

The two of you are crammed into the tiny downstairs bathroom of your home. Her in a chair, you behind her with your hands in her hair. The room is silent, safe for the occasional snipping of the scissors. 

"I told you to just wait for me." You mumble as you try to fix the messy uneven strands at the back of her head. 

"You were taking too long."

"Well you can kiss that little half up bun of yours goodbye." The small pout on her face makes you laugh.

She'd gone a little wild with the scissors this time. Her once shoulder length hair now a shaggy cut that kept the hair off her neck. You huff as she moves her head from side to side, making it harder to keep cutting. She hums in approval.

"Not bad." 

"I'm not done yet." You whine, letting her pull you to sit on her lap.

Her chin props on your shoulder, smiling at you in the mirror. "It looks fine. Thanks babe." 

You rest your head against hers, admiring the way the morning sun coming through the window brings out the red in her hair.

The sweet moment is ruined by your treacherous thoughts. Remembering that night a little over a year ago. You'd showed up to Dina's one night after patrol to find the two girls in the bathroom as she trimmed Ellie's hair. It had been just before the two left for Seattle to chase after Tommy. Ellie had been a mess, staring off into nothing as your friend combed through her hair. 

And amidst all the chaos in her life you saw the way her eyes lit up when Dina looked at her. The flush of her cheeks whenever they locked eyes. Watching them interact had always felt like you were intruding on something.

"Oh I love this song!" Ellie cranes her neck, listening to the soft music coming from the record player in the living room.

Your chest tightens, the burning sensation from earlier returning. As she hums quietly, you think back to the day Dina had found the record in an old music store while on patrol. She'd probably left it behind. It was one of her favorites too, and if Ellie knows it, she doesn't show it. 

There was so much of Dina intertwined with Ellie. The two had been friends for years before they dated. They made far more sense than you and Ellie did. Some days you wondered if she ever even truly saw you. 

Would there ever be a moment that was just your own?

--

You lay there in the middle of your shared bed,  knees tucked into your chest with the covers up to your chin. Ellie's side of the bed cold and empty when you woke. Just as it had been every night since her argument with Tommy. The one you still knew nothing about, being brushed off every time you asked about it. You'd gotten used to her reserved nature over the past months, but this was different. There were still smiles and kisses thrown your way, but those no longer felt genuine.

The house is unusually quiet for Ellie not being in bed. No guitar being played or the quiet hum of the tv downstairs. Quickly slipping into one of her old hoodies, you notice that her jacket and backpack are gone from their usual spot. In a panic, you rush down the stairs. The ratty sneakers you constantly begged her to get rid of are missing from where she threw them every night after kicking them off.

Without even thinking you run towards the barn barefoot. The animals startle at the loud groan from the old door being opened but you pay them no mind as you move towards the small stable near the back. When only one horse pokes its head out to greet you, your blood runs cold. It wasn't Shimmer.

She left.

You don't even have to energy to cry, too in shock to truly process that Ellie's gone. Muddy footprints track inside the house, ruining the floors you had just cleaned before bed. You don't even realize you're in the kitchen until you collapse in one of the dining chairs. 

It isn't until hours later, when the sun finally starts to rise that you see it. The singular scrap stuck to the fridge underneath an old magnet she'd stolen from Joel. You recognize her the swirls of her messy handwriting as she apologizes for leaving. She'd gone after Abby. Her words start to blur as tears spill over, smudging the ink as they land on the paper. You angrily swipe at your face as you reach the end, staring at the three words she'd underlined twice before promising she'd see you soon. 

I love you.

No she didn't.

[otomehoneyybearr]

Azel Radwan Bonus Story!

Our First XX with the Twisted God This story contains NSFW content, Minors please DNI

This follows the Fake Lovers Event Story, so please read @shatcey’s summary here before continuing ❤️

After becoming a true couple with the living god, Prince Azel—now simply Azel—that particular misfortune happened once again.

Azel: "Are you stupid?"

Emma: "I don’t have an excuse."

(That was careless of me.)

Fresh out of the bath, my body felt unnaturally warm, and my breathing became shallow without me realizing it.

The urge to curl up and claw at my own skin was painfully familiar.

Azel: "This has happened before, hasn’t it? The soap in the bath being swapped for one laced with an aphrodisiac."

Azel: "And it was the exact same soap as last time, wasn’t it?"

Emma: "Now that you mention it, I thought it smelled a little different, but I didn’t think much of it..."

Azel: "Your sheer idiocy almost brings me to tears."

Emma: "I-I’m sorry."

Azel: "...So? Why are you clinging to my clothes like that?"

Emma: "If possible... um..."

Azel: "No."

Emma: "I haven’t even said anything yet."

Azel: "Do people affected by aphrodisiacs really have the luxury of making requests?"

Emma: "Ugh..."

(He knows I want him to touch me.)

(I was going to set aside my shame and ask, but he’s tough to convince.)

From the start, Azel hasn’t met my gaze even once. It feels like he’s purposely trying not to have me in his line of sight.

(…But his ears are a little red.)

(It doesn’t seem like he’s upset or disgusted. If anything he looks… embarrassed?)

Emma: "I’m your lover… aren’t I, Azel?"

Azel: "As I always say, you’re a self-proclaimed one."

Emma: "Even a self-proclaimed lover is still a lover."

I deliberately moved into Azel’s line of sight, and his faint blush seemed to deepen.

Emma: "Please help your self-proclaimed lover."

Azel: "...Absolutely not."

Azel: "More importantly, shouldn’t you do something about your appearance first?"

Emma: "I’m just wearing my usual nightgown."

Azel: "Put something over it."

Emma: "It’s... too hot."

Azel: "Shall I throw you outside, then?"

Emma: "…You twisted god."

Azel: "Twisted and proud."

Emma: "…"

Azel: "Please stop looking at me like that."

Emma: "Then how am I supposed to look at you?"

Perhaps growing impatient, Azel grabbed my shoulders to push me toward the bed.

Emma: "Mm…!"

(Even just a slight touch makes me feel this way…)

The hands on my shoulders quickly withdrew, as if startled.

Azel: "Don’t make weird noises; it’s awkward enough as it is."

Emma: "You’re asking for the impossible!"

Emma: "…I’m doing my best to hold back."

Azel: "Then try harder."

Emma: "I would if I could!"

Emma: "I know it’s improper, but..."

(The last time I was affected by an aphrodisiac, I endured it until the effects wore off.)

(But now… the person I love is right in front of me.)

(It’s the same aphrodisiac, yet I feel like I can’t hold out this time.)

(Isn’t it normal to want the person you love to touch you…?)

Abandoning all reason, I threw myself into Azel’s chest.

Azel: "Hey…!"

Emma: "…I can’t help it. I love you, Azel!"

Azel: "..."

Azel: "............"

Emma: "Is it… really no good?"

Azel: "……"

Looking up at him, I saw Azel’s gaze wandering, as if struggling with something internally.

Eventually, he rested his forehead against my shoulder in defeat.

Azel: "…Just for today. Don’t expect me to help next time."

Emma: "Ah…!"

Suddenly, his tongue brushed against my neck, and my knees almost gave out.

(This... is far more intense than I expected...)

As soon as Azel decided to go along with it, his resistance from earlier felt like a distant memory.

As he skillfully teased my neck, I had to clutch his clothes just to keep myself upright.

Every little breath seemed to set my hypersensitive, aphrodisiac-affected body ablaze, making me unable to stop the sounds that escaped my lips.

Emma: "Ah… wait… I need a break—"

Azel: "I can’t hear you."

Emma: "Ah…!"

He boldly kneaded my chest over the nightgown, making my back arch involuntarily.

The overwhelming sensations exceeded my limit, and I eventually collapsed onto the floor.

Azel: "You were the one who asked for this."

Emma: “I… didn’t know."

Azel: "Didn’t know what?"

Emma: "That an aphrodisiac could… make me feel this out of control…"

Azel: "Good. Consider it a lesson learned."

Azel: "…Not that I’m stopping now."

Emma: "Huh?"

Azel sat cross-legged and pulled me toward him.

Before I knew it, I was completely nestled between his knees, with no way to escape.

Emma: "P-Please, go easy on me…"

Azel: "Did you say something?"

Emma: "Ah…!"

His hand slipped inside my collar, directly brushing against the sensitive peak of my chest, teasing it relentlessly.

I wanted him to stop—but at the same time, I didn’t. It was agonizing, yet I yearned for more—a confusing, overwhelming mix of emotions. Despite this, my body involuntarily tried to retreat.

But my body couldn’t keep up with my feelings, and I unconsciously tried to pull away. Azel pinned me down with his knees and slid a hand between my legs.

(I… feel like I’m losing my mind…)

The wet sounds stirred up a deeper heat within me, making my body grow even hotter.

Emma: “Ah… It’s… too much…”

Azel: "…Already at your limit? That’s not my problem. After all, I’m the so-called twisted god."

Emma: "Aah…!"

A sharp pinch of his fingers left my mind blank.

(It’s frightening… how good this feels.)

The tears spilling from the corners of my eyes were wiped away by a slightly rough kiss.

(Huh…?)

Getting a closer look, I realized something strange.

He furrowed his brows as if enduring some inner torment, and when our eyes met, he quickly averted his gaze.

Emma: "Could it be that…?"

Emma: "The aphrodisiac affected you too, Azel?"

Azel: "What?"

Emma: “You look like you’re suffering just as much as I am.”

Azel: “Are you an idiot? Don’t spout nonsense when you can’t even read the mood.”

Azel’s scowl deepened as he leaned in to bite my ear.

Emma: “Ahh! Not my ears!”

Azel: "Don’t complain."

Emma: "Hyah!"

His tongue traced the edge of my ear, teasing it mercilessly and my mind went blank again.

But Azel didn’t stop.

Azel: "Damn it… I thought I hated women under the influence of aphrodisiacs."

Azel: "…But when you show me this side of you, how could I possibly hold back?"

Emma: "W-Wait… n-no… stop!"

Emma "If this keeps up, I’ll die!"

Azel: "You won’t die. If anything, I’m the one who feels like I’m about to die."

Emma: "That’s ridiculous—"

(Wait…)

Using what little rationality I had left; I pressed myself against Azel’s chest.

Through the fabric, I felt a heartbeat pounding just as wildly as mine—if not more so.

Emma: "...Even though I’m just your self-proclaimed lover?"

Azel: "..."

(Thank goodness.)

(...It doesn’t seem like I’m the only one caught up in this.)

Azel may be twisted, cunning, and utterly dishonest, but his actions and expressions spoke louder than anything.

That realization made me happy. I wanted to know more about him. Perhaps it was that very feeling that made me cling to him so desperately as the effects of the aphrodisiac coursed through me.

Azel: “What’s with that grin? Still have the energy to be smug, huh?”

Emma: “N-not at all! I’m completely at my limit here!”

With a tug, he slipped the nightgown off my body, his relentless touch left no part of me unclaimed.

The pleasure was so overwhelming that my body stopped obeying me. My protests melted into incoherent cries, and I could only shake my head in vain.

I desperately shook my head to signal I’d reached my limit, but my lips were sealed in a kiss.

When I peeked through half-lidded eyes, I realized I wasn’t the only one nearing my breaking point.

Those mystical, star-filled eyes spoke more than any words could.

Azel: “Just so you know… this isn’t because I like you or anything sentimental like that.”

Azel: “This is... a matter of primal instinct, nothing more."

Emma: “….”

Azel: “So don’t look at me like that. This is just the aphrodisiac at work.”

Emma: “Didn’t you just call me an idiot earlier when I suggested the same thing?”

Azel: “Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t. Either way, this is purely the aphrodisiac’s fault.”

Azel: “Definitely not because of your … allure or anything like that.”

Azel: “Absolutely not.”

Emma: “Sure, sure. Whatever you say.”

I chuckled at his roundabout confession, but he quickly stripped me of even that fleeting moment of levity.

Though the aphrodisiac might have started this, the way my body ached for him made it clear—it wasn’t just the drug.

(This feeling… it’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way.)

▼・ᴥ・▼

[pelova4president]

Almost impossible

Lucy Bronze x AWFC!Reader

summary~ playing a champions league final against the love of your life is harder than you thought. Can you put your life on hold and play those 90 minutes against her?

Playing in a Champions League final was hard. Playing it against the love of your life is even harder.

We fought our way to the final. Every single game got harder and harder but that’s how a competition like that works.

You play two games per week, one for the league you’re in and one for the champions league. I didn’t think about my body or my mental health, i just wanted to win. Not that you really get time to think about it all anyway.

And along the way, Beth got injured and Viv not long after. Leah and Laura later in the competition. So when i thought, i’ve gone through it all, nothing can stop me now, her team was waiting for us on the pitch.

To say i dreaded this day was an understatement, i absolutely hated it. Whenever i played against my clubmates in the international breaks i didn’t even think about it. It was normal, you put your personal life on hold and just play those 90 something minutes.

That’s how football works and i like it that way.

When Lucy and i started seeing each other it wasn’t really serious. We both knew it was almost impossible to date as footballers who weren’t in the same team, let alone league.

Throughout the Euros we’d have little ‘dates’, going to dinner, exploring together or just staying in. We were lucky enough our hotels weren’t that far away. We played against each other in the group stages. Both nations got one point out of it and both of us got out of the groupstages. I guess you could call us lucky.

When Lucy won the Euros I was happy. She deserved it and at least we didn’t take each other out.

We had a little break before going to club life again and i enjoyed every single minute of it. Lucy and i planned a trip right after the euros. We spent two whole weeks together, tanning, going out and enjoying each other.

I guess i really started to feel something in those weeks, like real feelings. The way she would be up, reading a book with her glasses on when i woke up, god i liked those glasses on her. Or when she would take my hand or put her hand on my lower back when we explored the city together.

Those two weeks flew by and i had to go back to North London and Lucy to Barcelona.

At first i just wanted to ignore her, ignore my feelings for her. So when she called after she landed i didn’t pick up. When she texted me i didn’t respond. That’s how it works, you have a great time and after that it becomes too complicated to maintenance.

Lucy posted about our vacation together on instagram. She didn’t tag me, that was probably the smartest move but it bothered me. I didn’t like her post, i just chose to completely ghost her.

lucybronze

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a winning vacation 🏆

That didn’t mean i didn’t miss her though. I missed her company, i tried to convince myself that i just needed someone but i just needed her.

So when i got ready for bed and scrolled through our vacation photos together and Lucy called me, i picked up. I picked up embarrassingly fast.

“Y/n, i kinda miss you. Fuck no i want you. Just don’t ignore me anymore, i love you baby” she slurred. I could hear the rough music on the background. She was drunk, and called me to confess her stupid love for me.

“Look Luce, you’re drunk and you don’t know what you’re saying. Please get Keira on the phone with me.” I told her. She hummed and murmured something under her breath, “Babe i mean it.”.

For a moment there was only music coming from the other end until i heard Keira speak “Hey y/n, Lucy really misses you and i can’t hear her talk about you anymore. Talk to her please.”. I sighed and looked at the book at my bedsidetable, the one that lucy was reading every evening when we were on vacation.

“Yeah, i will.. just get her home safe. Please.” I promised her. We said our goodbyes and i hung up. Fuck Lucy, what am i doing.

The next morning i went to training. I was off, i’ve been playing bad ever since i decided to ghost Lucy. Leah knew that we were close throughout the Euros, she just didn’t know we were romantically involved.

So after another bad training session i wanted to train on my own, just a little bit longer. I tried running it off, shooting it off but even doing those awful drills didn’t help. I sank to the ground, defeated that even shooting on goal was going terrible.

What happened to me.

Leah sat down next to me and we sat in silence. “Leah what do you want.” I asked her grumpily. “You know what i want, tell me everything.” Leah demanded. I looked her in the eye and saw the concern. She gave me one of her sad smiles and i just wanted to cry. So when i couldn’t hold the watergates closed anymore she hugged me. I sobbed into her chest and told her everything, about the Euros, our vacation, how i ghosted Lucy and her call. She held me and rubbed my back listening to me.

“Y/n, you should just call her back, you promised her.” she whispered.

So that is what i did, i went home and called her. I was sitting in the kitchen, looking down at my hands that were fidgeting with my rings. I clicked on her contact name and the phone went over, she picked up.

“Hi Luce” i spoke up. “Hey, how are you doing?” she asked me. I was not sure if i should just say ‘fine’, like i did every time someone asked me or if i should tell her how much i missed her.

“Uh ‘m not doing great at the moment” i murmured, hoping she would change the subject. “Yeah, me neither.. i really miss you you know” she told me, just like yesterday. “Luce, i’m sorry i didn’t respond to your texts or picked up when you called me. It’s just that i didn- don’t think this can work.” I told her truthfully. I heard her hum before speaking “We could make this work, I can make this work. Please just try with me. I’m sure we can.”

And that is how we ended here. We facetimed after every practice, went on vacations together whenever we could and Luce tried to visit me every day she didn’t need to train or play.

But i just needed to fuck it all up again.

A week before the final i started to distance myself again. Just like i did about a year ago. I thought it was for the best, i always did. We both needed to concentrate. I didn’t want to put her off her game. I wanted her to do her very best.

She texted me every day. Just hours before the game she texted me good luck.

I wanted to cry, i just needed Lucy to hold me. But she was getting ready for the game. When i saw Leah in the changing room i flew into her arms, i needed her, now more than ever.

Minutes later we were in the tunnel. I stared at the ground, ignoring Lucy who stood somewhere further down the line of her teammates. I could feel her eyes on me but i didn’t dare looking behind me.

Passing every opponent and shaking their hand along with a ‘good luck’ i did no different with Lucy, completely emotionless. Keep your personal life off the pitch. That’s how it’s always been, that’s how it has to be.

We were up 2-1 when the halftime whistle blew. I was hopeful. We could do this, we could win this thing. Jonas gave us the halftime talk and we went out again.

Within the first ten minutes they made it 2-3. I had to do my job. I had to make us win, that’s what strikers are for.

Lotte passed the ball to Victoria, she dribbled over the halfway line and gave me the perfect pass. I only had to get past Mapi, she was a difficult one to get past but i managed to do so. I got inside the box, one on one with their keeper. I shot it into the topbins and the stadium absolutely erupted.

Before anyone could grab me to celebrate i ran to the nearest camera and screamed “for you, beth, viv, lee and lau!” and tapped the badge. The team came running at me and katie jumped on me while screaming.

It was the 82th minute and it was still 3-3. Vic passed the ball to Lia, who shot the ball right into my feet. I dribbled past Keira, running into the box and was ready to shoot when i felt the pop.

The pop Beth and Viv told me about. The pop that could end your career.

I dropped to the ground, my hands covering my face, the ball that was planned to end at the back of the net in the hands of Paños.

She stadium was quiet. I could only hear Katie screaming for the medics and Vic holding my hand and telling me i’d be alright.

I took my hands off my eyes and looked at her with tears streaming down my face. “Vic, i heard it pop.” was the only thing i could tell her. I could see she was trying not to cry but i saw the tear that escaped the corner of her eye before she wiped it away.

Lucy came running to me. “Hey, hey.. you’re okay. You’re fine y/n, you’re doing fine.” she told me, more to convince herself than me i think.

I held her hand “Luce, i heard it pop, it’s not okay. I’m really sorry, i was just scared.” I told her. She nodded and just stared at me. Lucy held my hand when the medics came and i was stretchered away until the outer white line of the pitch.

I don’t know how Leah found me but she arrived just in time before they took me to the hospital. I told her about what i felt and she gave me that sad smile again. It made me want to burst out in tears again but i was just so tired. Tired of wasting my happiness and fucking everything up. I closed my eyes and when Leah thought that i was asleep i heard her cry. I didn’t open my eyes, i just whispered “did you see that goal i scored for you?” and she laughed. “Ofcourse i did.”.

When game was over and they confirmed that i tore my ACL. Lucy knocked at my hospital door. I knew we lost.

“Hey baby..” she walked in. I turned my head, looking at her. My eyes were glossy again, hers were too. “You won” i smiled. She didn’t return the smile and just sat down next to me on the hospital bed.

“Y/n, i’m so sorry.” she whispered, her voice breaking. “Luce, it’s not your fault. At least i’ll have a few months off so i can visit you more often” i laughed, trying to soften the mood. She didn’t laugh though.

“Y/n i love you, i don’t care that you ignored me. Just please never do it again.” she kissed me on my forehead. “I’ll try, for you.” I replied looking up at her.

“Why aren’t you celebrating this win baby?” I asked her and she looked at me like i just said the most offensive thing ever. “Are you serious? You think i’m gonna celebrate right now?” Lucy spoke. “I love you” i laughed and kissed her.

Eleven months later i got to play again. A real game of football.

I used the time i had off to visit Lucy. I missed the World Cup and that hurt me more than i would ever admit but seeing Lucy play softened the blow at least a little bit.

She even got some time off to see me play for the first time again since my ACL injury. I got about fifteen minutes of playing time but it was so worth it.

Lucy got a reservation at an Italian place in the evening and we drove home after, or atleast that’s what i thought.

We stopped at one of the Coffeeshops we used to go together throughout the Euros. She opened my car door and we went inside. We sat at the table where we would sit every time, we ordered the same drink and she looked at me.

“Y/n, i know you didn’t think this would work. But it did, we made it work. We can do it together. Y/n will you marry me?” she asked sinking down on one knee. “Oh my god.. Yes Luce, i’ll marry you, now please get off your bad knee.” I chuckled.

Dating another footballer was hard, dating one that wasn’t in the same league was even harder. But it wasn’t impossible.

lucybronze, y/n_y/l/n

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comments

leahwilliamsonn ❤️❤️

keirawalsh congrats!! ❤️

victoriapelova it was about time

katie_mccabe11 might steal her from you bronzey

↳ lucybronze get your own missus

wosofan12 omg since when?!!

bronzey02 they’re so cuteee

[aleniaaa]

"I thought about this before" bsf!Rafe x kook!reader part four (last one!!)

here are other parts: one, two, three

a/n: heyy y'all final part is here thx for support and hearts :** kisses on y'all's foreheads

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Two weeks had passed since the party, and I was still trying to get over everything. Rafe had acted like nothing happened, and I tried to convince myself it didn’t matter, but the truth was, it was eating away at me. Every time I saw him, every time I heard his name, my chest tightened, my thoughts spiraled. I couldn’t move on.

Tonight, I’d had enough. I was at the bar with friends, drinking far more than I should have, hoping it would numb the frustration and confusion I couldn’t shake. But as the alcohol settled into my system, it only made everything worse. The questions kept piling up: What did that kiss mean? Why the hell hadn’t he said anything? Did he feel something or was I just some dumb game to him?

When I’d had enough, I stood up, grabbed my purse, and stumbled out of the bar. I could barely walk straight, but I didn’t care. I was going to confront him. Now. I didn’t even think twice as I got into my car and sped to his place.

I barely knocked before I shoved the door open, stumbling inside. Rafe stood in front of me, his eyes widening as he took in my disheveled state.

"What the hell, y/n?" He crossed his arms, the look on his face a mix of surprise and annoyance. "You’re drunk."

"Yeah, no shit," I slurred, eyes narrowing on him. "You wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me for two weeks?" I was already feeling the alcohol taking over my body, my emotions messy and raw. "Why the hell did you kiss me and then just act like it meant nothing?"

He leaned back against the doorframe, not looking at me directly. "It’s not that simple, y/n," he muttered, his tone cooler than I expected. "You were drunk. I was drunk. It wasn’t… I didn’t want to make things weird."

"Make things weird?" I scoffed, feeling the anger bubble up inside me. "You kiss me, and then you act like I’m the one making things weird?" My voice rose, and I took a shaky step forward. "I need you to stop playing games with me, Rafe. You kissed me like it meant something, but then you just disappear. I deserve to know what the hell that was."

Rafe shifted, running a hand through his messy hair like he was trying to avoid my eyes. "I’m not good at this, alright?" he said, his voice quieter now, almost like he was trying to convince himself. "I didn’t want to mess things up between us. I’ve been… trying to figure it out."

I was done being patient. I was done with his excuses. "Figure it out?" I repeated, my chest tightening. "It’s been two weeks, Rafe. And in those two weeks, I’ve gone crazy wondering if you felt the same way or if I’m just some stupid one-night thing to you."

"Y/n, it’s not like that," he said, his voice softer now. "I didn’t know how to handle it. You’re my friend, and I didn’t want to mess up what we had."

"But you did mess it up, Rafe!" I shouted, throwing my hands up. "You kissed me, and you didn’t say anything, and now you’re acting like I’m the problem for wanting answers. So, tell me—did it mean anything to you?"

Rafe sighed, his hands in his pockets as he looked at the floor. "It wasn’t just some stupid kiss, alright?" he muttered, almost under his breath. "I don’t know what I’m doing with you. I… I care about you. More than I should. But I didn’t want to make things harder. Didn’t want to ruin the friendship."

I stared at him, trying to process his words through the haze of alcohol and frustration. He wasn’t giving me what I wanted—not directly. But his confession hit me harder than I expected. "You care about me?" I asked, my voice trembling. "Then why the hell didn’t you just say that? Why didn’t you just say something?"

He looked up at me, his eyes full of conflict. "I didn’t know how to make it right. I didn’t want to fuck things up. You’re my friend, y/n. That kiss… it meant something, but I wasn’t sure you wanted the same thing. I’m not good at this, okay?"

I took a step closer, my heart pounding in my chest. "I don’t give a shit about us being friends right now," I spat, my voice raw with emotion. "I need to know if you want this. I need to know if you want me."

Rafe was silent for a moment, his jaw clenching. Then, without warning, he stepped toward me, his hand gripping my arm as he pulled me closer. "I want you," he said, his voice strained. "More than I should. But I don’t know what that means."

"Then figure it out," I snapped, my hands trembling as I reached for him. "I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep pretending like I don’t feel what I feel."

Before I could say anything else, his lips were on mine, urgent and heated. It was different this time. There was no hesitation, no pulling away. His hands gripped me like he was afraid I might vanish if he let go, his lips demanding, desperate. I kissed him back, my body responding to him without thinking. I needed him, needed the answer he hadn’t given me.

When we finally pulled apart, I was breathless. "So now what?" I asked, voice shaky, heart still racing.

Rafe rested his forehead against mine, his breath coming in quick bursts. "Now we see where this goes," he said quietly, as if the words were just as much of a question as they were a promise.

the end

[creamyavocadosoup]

𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐢 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫?

a/n: hi everyone!! thank you so much for 1k likes across my works! i was in actual disbelief when i got that notif. i thank you all so much for the love. i dont rly do celebration posts and such but i still thank you all sm for it ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡) i haven't had much chance to write this piece so its been sitting in the drafts for a little bit but!! i have a break coming up so im hoping to do some writing then. also this is not proofread so forgive me.

characters: rtte!hiccup x fem!reader

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, unrequited (?) pining, hiccup being angy, mentions of not eating and getting hurt, almost fainting, implied almost death (astrid), near death experience, fighting, blood (got wounded)

here's part 2: take a chance with me

The salty breeze wrapped around me like a comforting blanket, sounds of the waves crashing on the shore almost lulling me to sleep after such a long couple of days. Had it not been for the sweat rolling off me, or the ache in each movement, I would have no doubt fallen asleep.

"She almost died, [Name]!" his voice boomed, his gaze so piercing it had me pinned frozen in the clubhouse across from him.

"We had a plan and you didn't stick to it. Gods knows what would have happened if the rest of the team hadn't been there to clean up your mess," he looked at me, the disappointment so apparent in his eyes it burned through the protective barrier around my heart, "And now they got away with the Dragon Eye!" his hands banged on the table, the loud noise nearly scaring me half to death and causing me to jump in my spot.

Astrid almost died. Because of me.

My throat ached, feeling like it loathed with the body it was in, rejecting this emotion that coursed through my body so intensely. My eyes burned, so terribly that I had nearly convinced myself they were acid, all in an attempt to swallow down the emotions and hope to tuck them in a corner of my mind somewhere, never to be seen or felt again.

"Maybe I was a fool to think you were ready for this." he muttered under his breath, but I heard it so clearly and the rest of the riders did too.

The said blonde laid a hand on Hiccup's shoulder, silently asking him to take a breather and calm for a moment, but he only shook it off, the irritation still clearly running hot in his veins. He stormed off, hurriedly flying away with Toothless, not a single glance back at me.

Astrid only sighed, silently approaching me, and the rest of the gang stood motionless on the other side of the room. Even the twins were uncharacteristically quiet, which had unnerved me more than I had let on. She rubbed my shoulders, allowing me words of comfort but I hadn't heard any of it despite looking right at her.

I mumbled a few words before scurrying off, making a beeline for my hut and hoping to shroud myself in the four walls and indulge in isolation. I thanked Thor for a moment due to my hut being farther than the main base, giving me ample privacy.

My emotions had only caused me to hit the targets harder, to push myself further, until I was sure something like this wouldn't happen again. What if Hiccup was right?

My winged companion whined worriedly beside me but I was too far past the point of comprehension to even realize that I was littered in tiny cuts and bruises, and my limbs had ached for a while now. But I ignored it, not even close to being content with my progress in training.

I laid in my bed, nearly motionless for the past 24 hours. Not even the sound of multiple knocks and quips from the different riders, nor my stomach growling had given me any energy to move. All my windows had been shut, allowing little to no sunlight into the room. The darkness had allowed for me to continuously slip in and out of slumber, the time passing faster than I thought it was due to it.

By the third day, I had resorted to aggressively cleaning every inch of my house, not wanting to drown in the thoughts and providing myself with a distraction. I still hadn't opened the door but had at least opened a few windows to let in some light.

Hiccup coming to knock on my door almost had me stopping in my tracks, but I chose to tune him out, not wanting to deal with that whole situation at the moment. I needed time to process the emotions and think clearly and rationally before I could face him again. I needed to improve and be sure there's been a significant improvement before he can see me again.

It took me four days, four whole days, to allow the simmering emotions to bubble over and explode to whatever mess I had become now. On a random beach at another island, training like my life depended on it with virtually no one but my dragon as my witness, and it was comforting to say the least.

The guilt from Hiccup's words had hit me like a truck, the possible outcomes of my choices in the heat of the moment and how it had almost cost one of my closest friends' lives. It made frustration build up inside me with each missed blow, each kick, each strike.

I had gotten so absorbed in my own emotions that I didn't hear or even notice the multiple footsteps of unwanted guests on the same beach. All I heard was the violent roar of my dragon and I turned around to see one of the Dragon Hunters on the ground.

I readily hurried my stance, thanking the Gods I was already holding one of my weapons, and cursed to myself. 'Fuck how did they manage to sneak up on me? Was I really that distracted?'

My vision flit between the hunters as they slowly and carefully stepped towards me, their weapons glinting under the sun. I knew I was at a disadvantage, my bruised and battered body would not be able to out-fight all of them. So I have to be smart, and figure out a way to get out unscathed.

It was quiet as we only stared at each other. This was odd, I thought, why aren't they attacking? Before I could ask questions, a familiar voice caught my attention as he walked up from the ship and onto shore.

"Ryker." I spat. Gripping my weapon tightly, I glared at the man in front of me.

"Quite good timing that I catch you here alone, hm?" He smirked, crossing his arms as he looked down at me, "Take her and her dragon." He ordered, the men around him charging at me at once from all different directions.

Over my dead body, I thought, no way are they taking my dragon! "[D/N] let's go!" The sound of metals clashing and explosions were all I heard as I parried all oncoming attacks my way as best I could and so did my dragon.

Heavy breathing and heavy limbs were all I felt as I slowed and struggled to keep up with my enemies. In a moment of weakness, I felt a blade slash through my side. Warm blood quickly trickled down my hip as I screamed out in pain.

A loud roar was all I heard before seeing a big explosion and my enemies knocked unconscious onto the floor. My dragon wasted no time and hurriedly picked me up before flying away to return to the edge, narrowly missing the arrows being shot our way.

I breathed heavily, clutching my side with one hand in an attempt to stop the bleeding, and my other holding onto my dragon so I don't fall into the ocean. The ride had felt extremely long and I could feel myself slipping from reality as more blood poured from the wound.

Blearily, I looked around my surroundings as I felt myself being placed softly onto what smelt like grass. I barely recognized my hut in the near distance and the garden I was growing beside it as my dragon hurriedly grabbed medical supplies.

Thankfully he already knew which ones to grab from seeing me patch up the other riders over and over again, and brought over gauzes and pastes. I huffed and groaned, trying and dragged to prop myself on a nearby tree to properly dress my wound.

"[D/N], get me water... water please." I was feeling exhausted but I knew subconsciously that I couldn't fall asleep now, or it would create even more difficult consequences.

My winged friend quickly grabs and brings over a pail of water to me. Taking off my armor and lifting my shirt, which was already slashed through anyways, I assessed my wound and figured it hadn't gone deep enough to rupture any organs or I would have much worse symptoms.

While cleaning my wound, a soft thumping and pairs of footsteps sounded before they spoke. "[Name]? Where are you? What happened?"

I didn't speak, focusing on stitching myself up and not crying. [D/N] however quickly beckoned them over and they quickened their paces, soon surrounding me with their bodies. The riders were shocked upon seeing my state and Hiccup had briskly told all of them to turn away from me.

Familiar warm hands were placed on my arms, "[Name]," Hiccup spoke softly. My vision blurred and my throat tightened, making it harder to stop the tears from falling, "Let me help you with that. Please." His voice was small yet firm, a hint of pleading lying underneath. Yet it was still caring, and warm, and it filled the cracking crevices in my resolve as I pulled away to let him work.

"Astrid, refill the bucket. Fishlegs, grab me more gauze and paste. And get some of the stuff Gothi gave us." The two nodded, ambling away quietly as Hiccup diligently worked on my wound. "Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Snotlout, grab one of her shirts and get her hut prepared." Surprisingly, there wasn't any complaints or jokes from the trio, only diligent nods and they went straight to work. Thus the only sound between us was the soft rustling of the trees in the wind, and my voice hissing at the pain of being stitched up.

"It was-" I gulped, trying to swallow down the burning feeling, "It was Ryker." Hiccup's hands stopped only for a moment and stayed quiet, so I took it as a sign to continue.

"He-He ambushed me. While I was on another island, training." I added, however the pain had teetered into being unbearable causing a whimper to escape my throat.

Luckily Hiccup had finished with the needle and moved onto wrapping it, an ever-present ache there but it was much better than the searing pain I had felt moments ago. Hiccup reached beside me and covered my chest with my torn shirt.

"I'm sorry."

I slowly blinked my eyes as I raised my head to take a good look at his face. His hair was disheveled, more than usual, and his under-eyes slightly darker. He had this seemingly perpetual small furrow in between his brows.

But his eyes were still that beautiful green that I had fallen in love with at first sight. One could argue that his slightly bloodshot eyes complimented the green but I couldn't feel much happiness knowing it was because he was losing sleep over me.

His voice was quiet, dripping with sorrow and regret and it had me pursing my lips, my heart feeling tight.

"I'm sorry I said those things. They were out of anger but they don't excuse how it had hurt you." he continued, his pinky carefully linking with mine. He was testing the waters, afraid I would push him away once more but to be honest, I was too tired to even formulate a response.

"Hiccup..." I whispered, softly curling my finger around his. He looked into my eyes, hesitant to hear what I would say.

"I'm tired." I breathed out. My eyes blinked often, already on the verge to dreamland. He nods wordlessly, picking me up with barely any effort it seems, and bringing me inside my hut. Thankfully it seems like the twins and Snotlout have already finished with cleaning up my place.

Hiccup helped me into the shirt they picked before tucking me into my bed. His hands were comforting, brushing away loose hairs from my face. But it was fleeting, much like most of his touches towards me. Like it burned him, or he was disgusted by it.

He makes sure I'm settled well but before he could get comfy on the edge of the bed beside me, Astrid's voice is heard through the door. "Hiccup?" she calls, and his head quickly whips to the direction of her.

A small frown creeps up onto my face yet thankfully Hiccup only thinks of it as caused by my injury when he turns back to look at me. He smiles, a little unsure and an unfamiliar emotion in his eyes, as he reaches out to tuck a stray hairs away from my face.

"Sleep well. I'll be right here." he murmured. I only heard the soft sound of wood creaking and warm, green eyes before falling asleep.

note: guys,,, i've been gone so long?? literally ive been so busy T-T also got friendzoned before the summer so that was great. ANYWAYS!! if u liked this, i would so love to hear ur thoughts. and!! there may or may not be a part two to this too hehe

[hearts4werka]

NNN day 5 | Whispers Of Madness

summary: ever since one unfortunate day, you havent felt the same mentally. The dark entity that now permanently stabled a special place in your mind, making you go more insane with each passing minute. Whenever you try to reach out for help to the one person you trust, being your best friend matthew he always argues that nothing is actually there and your brain is messing with you but you know more than youve lead onto. Are you going to finally shatter and possibly lead to murder, or maybe finally banish the evil living inside of you?

warnings: ANGST, demon possession, dark entity, murders, mental health issues, satanic language, dark topics, suicide, police involvement, heavy language, blood everywhere, choking, skin bruising, mysterious black goop, viewers advisory is supervised! Proceed continue reading caution!

authors note: somehow we’ve made it to day 5 of consistently posting fics wohoo !! This one took me a portion of my time and this week has been pretty busy for me so I’m surprised I got this far, hope yall enjoy this bc I surely did writing it

no nut november | masterlist | guestlist

Ever since that unfortunate night, I have never felt the same mentally nor physically. A constant demonic voice mocking my every move and slowly driving me towards insanity, flashes of a dark entity remain stuck and impossible to get out of my mind, making me want gouge my eyes out to escape through death. Sometimes i dont even recognize myself in the mirror, just noticing each and every one of the changes in my physical apperance as well as my behavior and I think if others noticed them too or do am I the old me to them? or have I never actually changed and my mind can somehow create physical forms of different versions of me on its own?

- The night of the incident

I slowly stirr awake in the middle of the night due to strange noises my ears keep picking up, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand I glance out the window to see nothing but pitch-black ahead of me. The soft moonlight being the only available source of light pouring into the room, my eyes scan the dark room for a possible source behind the strange noises. Its almost like whispering but not human whispers in particular, almost like a demonic voice... yeah no, demons dont exist so there no such possibility. Just to be sure Im not going completely insane I do a double check but now looking harder into the dark to try and justify the source of the noise is nothing harmless.

Thats until I see something dark looming in the corner of my room.

It appears to be a shadow but with a dark and demonic energy radiating off it, my eyes scan the whole silhouette and get stuck on a pair of brigh red eyes staring down at me becomes imprinted in my mind permanently which sends a cold chill down my whole body, making me rise in awareness and fear, my body immediately waking and becoming completely stiff, my abilty to move vanishing from my grasp of control. The dark shadow figure starts to step closer to me and my instincts kick in, subconsciously backing away from the proximity of the red-eyed creature as it stands at the foot of it. "W-who are you?" I shakingly breath out, my mind becoming consumed with fear and theories that this could possibly be the end of my life.

The red-eyed figure doesnt make a sound or a single move, my breathing now labored and heavy as it continues to stare down at my shaking form. Feeling completely vulnarble and defendless, it’s like theres no escape and I've been trapped, even cornered in the dark depths of my mind. "Agite... Tenebrae... Abyssi..." I hear a faint demonic whisper, identical to the ones I've heard before and realize where its coming from. Suddenly I get a shock down my whole body, almost as if a feeling of being possesed or something possibly entering my soul and attaching itself to it.

I convince my overthinking mind its nothing and Im just imagining things now, this is not real. Demons dont exist and they surely can't possess you, right? it cant be real, its not. Shaking my head to throw away any possible negative thoughts left behind and lay my head back down on my pillow, attempting to sleep of the demonic energy I still feel coursing through my veins. My mind manages to slowly drift off to sleep, my eye lids falling heavy as I slip into unconsciousness but the demonic whispers still remaining surrounding the shell of my ears.

- A month after the incident - Present day

A sudden snap of Matt’s fingers in front of my face kicks me out of the negative energy in my mind, him giving me an unamused expression and sighing. “You seriously weren’t paying attention again?” He annoyingly huffs, his lips becoming a thin line as his arms cross over his chest. “I’m sorry, I was just-“ while I am in the middle of my sentence and want to explain myself, the demonic whispers cut me off and start whispering in my ear until I look around and see him. The red-eyes creature. No matter how hard I want to take my eyes away from him, they just refuse to move alongside with my body. Just becoming frozen all of a sudden, “What? Are you good?” He stammered visibly shadowed with concern, his eyes darting around the room to find the spot my eyes are stuck on but is met with a simple empty room.

“What are you staring at?” He pondered, still in desperate search to find something I could possibly be staring at with such horror contouring my features. My breath starts to become more deep and shaky, the same feeling I felt coursing through my veins every time it appears, it’s almost like it’s making its appearance known before hand. Matt finally snaps me back to reality, jerking one of my shoulders to give him a response to his worried questions, when I look at Matt’s face and back where it was standing. It’s gone. It’s not there anymore. “Where did it go?” I mumbled with a trembling bottom lip, becoming tense and more aware of my surroundings. “What do you mean by ‘where did it go’ ? You’re fucking freaking me out Eli.” He inquired, still anxiously looking around before moving closer to me. Immediately noticing me tense up for some reason he doesn’t have the knowledge of and I just wouldn’t speak about it.

“It’s fucking not there anymore! It’s gone, again!” I clutch Matt’s arm into my chest, seeking any comfort and safeness I could get a grasp on. The whispers start again, this time approaching me closer until I feel a faint icy breath breathe down my neck which makes me flinch. “ǨḐlēʃ-tū yǫur crēāṭōr, ǝLizaʊƃth…” my hands immediately go to cover my ears, the satanic words echoing in my head and bouncing off every wall, almost delivering me a headache. Under my breath I keep begging it to stop, to release me from the hellish cage it’s trapped me in against my will just to torment and demolish all that’s left of my soul that it hasn’t destroyed yet. My mental health wasnt the best before and it just got worse after, I reached out for help to everyone I could but they either called me schizophrenic or ‘completely gone off the rockers’ by professionals, refusing to help me and ignore the actual issue.

“Is it this again? Seriously Eli, you have to stop scaring me like that!” He argues, becoming slightly annoyed. No matter how much I tell him about this mister lurking in the shadows, he just says ‘you need to get some professional help or go to a psychiatrist’ but when I tell him the stories regarding the ‘getting professional help’ that they ignore me and don’t believe demons actually have a possibility of existing. “You didn’t believe in this demon shit and always denied it, why do you suddenly act like you got possessed by a damn demon or something?” In that moment it hits me, the realization and theory of being actually possessed by a demon hits my head and if we’re an object I would possibly get a concussion.

“I’m not! It’s just that… oh, forget it. It’s gone now so it doesn’t matter.” I state, taking a deep breath to wash away all of the emotions I’ve been feeling at once in a single moment. It’s shocking how much my body can take and has taken ever since it appeared in my life, or does it? Maybe my mind likes to think and make it seem like I’m doing good but in reality I’m loosing my mind completely? When is it going to end? How do I make it end? Questions rise in my head as I start to overthink and get my anxiety to an impossible level. “Eli, what the fuck has been happening with you? You seem completely psychotic like those possessed girls in horror movies.”

“I-I don’t know what I am at this point, please just go home and stay safe. I’ve scared you enough already I don’t want to give you a heart attack” I breathe out, gesturing for him to go away as I my ears perk up with the demonic soft whispers coming back, the dark figure standing right in front of me. I immediately cover my ears as the whispers get louder and louder, suddenly I feel a pair of cold hands wrap around my neck and pure force starting to pull me upwards into the air. I become short on breath as Matt freaks out and quickly runs over to my body in the air, now being face to face with the black figure. My arms immediately attempt to remove the arms off my neck for more air but it only tightens its grip, Matt pulls at my feet but it’s not much affective. The red gloomy eyes staring into my soul and twisting my insides with the dark energy possessing my body.

The world around me becomes silent and I can’t hear whats happening around me. “Ǩo ǃàdêr ȯf Ḑoom, ʔou Ƀhall kjømbāť ʔo ʃiln Ǫne ȯf ḏhe ʔeḥples ȯf Ꮑȯvær lǟv or ʔe ťæpt ǝn ḟi ʃhyād ǷārtǤ, ȯy ʗhǯice ElizǞbeth. ȶime Ƀ is spiraling ȯut…” the sentence constantly keeps being repeated until my ears start to bleed but I don’t feel blood coming out of my ears, some kind of cold black goop starts to escape through my ears as I finally get released. Falling back onto the ground with a loud thud and coughing hysterically, the pain and bruises spreading across my body as well as deep purple marks saturate my neck. I feel this sudden urge, something driving me up to my breaking point, willing to do anything to escape this hell.

Matthew quickly runs over to me, examining my body and the bruises left as horror and concern fill his features. “A-are you okay? Are you bleeding anywhere?- oh fuck!” He stammered, noticing the mysterious black goop coming out of my ears. His eyes were so focused on my body he didn’t notice it at first, seeking as if he couldn’t handle all of this happening at once and neither was I but he was scared out of his mind when I was left with no emotions in my face. My mind backtracks to the demonic words spoken to me and somehow I feel I know what to do, I don’t feel like myself anymore. It’s like I’m some kind of puppet in a show being controlled on how I’m supposed to act, I pick myself up and walk towards the kitchen while ignoring the concerned questions falling from Matt’s mouth.

I can’t believe I’m actually doing this but I can’t live like this anymore, he follows behind me and into the kitchen. My body starts to almost move on its own as if someone else had full control over it, reaching into the drawer where all of my knifes are kept and pick up the sharpest blade I own. Rising it into the air and turning to face Matthew, his anxiety immediately spikes to ungodly levels as he puts his now trembling hands. “What are you doing with that? Elizabeth, put it down!” Desperate demands leave his mouth in attempt to make me out down the possible weapon in my possession but I don’t listen, as much as I don’t want to do it, I might be my only way of escaping.

I charge at Matthew and stab him in the chest multiple times as hysteric cries leave my mouth while he screams bloody. His blood squirts all over my clothes and stain them, he falls to the ground and quickly I jump on top of him to weight him down and deliver a stab to immobile his arms, more blood covers our clothes, faces and the floor all together as I continue to cry out apologizes and explanations. “I’m sorry… I have to do this, I’m so sorry, Matt I’m sorry but I have to…” I cry out as blood and tears run my cheeks, to end the miserable pain he is experiencing I swing high into the air, gripping the handle of the bloody knife with both of my hands before apologizing for the last time and plunge the knife through his head which kills him in an instant.

My hands finally detach from the knife and immediately go up to my face, wiping off the blood and pouring tears from my face. Loud sobs fall from my mouth at what I have done, I just killed my best friend. Out of pure cold blood I killed my best friend, I-I’m a monster, a psychopath and everything fucked up. I am the demon… the demonic figure whispers another sentence in the weird language it has been using ever since trying to communicate to me but now it sounds more evil, like curses stuck to my name by the black shadow and following me around anywhere I go. “Ǫne lǻst stȅp ǵhǵn ɓe dǿne, ȵaM Ƀǿ̃e ȅt Ƀe ǵhǵe ȶǿ Ƿȯrld ȩfree, hāv ǵʍоḏ tɼȯ ḏon sǿlf ɴǿw. Ḕdǿn ḥesīṭȅte, ȅLīzǝbeth.”

The same feeling of knowledge runs down my spine, realizing what I’ll have to do next in order to be set free. My hands go back and take the knife out of Matthew’s dead body and line the sharp tip with where my heart lies, I close my eyes shut and with one swing I plunge the cold bloody knife into my heart. My body falling down next to Matthew’s already dead one, hearing the faint sirens of police in the distance as I slip into unconsciousness but by the time they make it to the kitchen, my body disappeared and only with the bloody knife left on the ground. It was evident two people have been killed in the process regarding the blood bath that was created but no matter how long or how hard they searched for my body, it was just gone. Almost as if a dark entity dragged it down with them to the deepest pits of hell…

Guestlist!

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[gravehags]

my love mine all mine

Pairing: Cumulus x f!reader (ghoul bicycle reader)

Rating: EXPLICIT, MDNI

Tags: hurt/comfort, self esteem issues, self worth issues, crying, vibrators, dildos, lovey dovey emotions, praise

Words: 3,674

Summary: You never wanted any of them to see you like this but if they had to, you're glad it's Cumulus.

a/n: hello yes this is definitely a normal smut fic that i did NOT project my personal issues into thank you very much

You’ve been quiet recently. In one of your moods.

You have no reason to be - by all accounts you should be overjoyed with your current situation. As of yesterday, the last of your things have been moved into your new room and your lovers (all ten of them) have been wonderful and affectionate. Which leads you to where you are now - standing alone, naked, in front of your full length mirror eyeing yourself with disdain. Despite your move into the ghoul den now being complete, you still don’t feel as if you belong here. It’s not your lovers that have made you feel that way - quite the contrary - but your own mind. Wondering what they see in someone like you. You’re an unremarkable sibling and, you think as you squeeze at your generous belly and hips, there are far more attractive people at the abbey who deserve to be in your position. Why did they like you so much? Tears well in your eyes as you scoff and sniffle, angry at your own ungratefulness. When there’s a knock at your door, your brain wildly jumps to the conclusion that it’s the ghouls - ready to tell you they changed their mind and they don’t want you anymore. A harsh sob escapes you and you double over.

“Honey? Are you okay? I’m coming in.”

Through blurred vision you see the figure of Cumulus in her white silk nightgown open the door and step in, quickly shutting it behind her when she sees the state you’re in. She rushes over to you, wrapping her arms around you as your weight falls heavy onto her. Your sobs are fierce and wet and you move to collapse onto the rug below you but the ghoulette catches you and steers you over to your bed. Her gentleness as she sets you down and grabs your calves to swing your feet onto the duvet only makes you cry harder. She abandons your side only for a moment to round the bed and climb in. She pulls you close, pushing your hair away from your face until the two of you are a breath apart. 

“Babylove, what’s going on, huh? You’ve been so quiet we’ve all been worried about you.”

When you open your mouth to speak, a horrible wail comes out instead and she pulls away momentarily to reach behind her and grab the box of tissues off the nightstand. 

“It’s alright, it’s alright honey,” she reaches down to pull the soft blue blanket up over the both of you, “You cry as much as you need to. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

So you do just that.

You’re not sure how long it takes for you to run dry of tears, but true to her word, Cumulus stays by your side catching all of them with a soggy tissue. When she holds a fresh one up to your nose and commands you to “blow” you bark out a hoarse laugh which makes her smile. Your head is pounding.

“Alright, so what’s going on, love? And don’t say ‘nothing’ because what I just witnessed was not nothing.”

You let out a ragged sigh.

“I hate myself,” you begin, figuring bluntness is the only way this is going to feel better, “I hate my body. Hate what I see in the mirror. I don’t see why you and the others care about me, want me…find me attractive. There are other siblings who deserve–”

“Stop.”

The hardness in Cumulus’ voice is something you’ve never heard before and it shocks you so much you hiccup. She looks at you with deadly seriousness but when your eyes begin to well with tears once again her gaze softens and she reaches her hand up to stroke your cheek.

“My love, despite the horrible lies your brain has convinced you of, you are special. Beautiful. We’ve always told you that, right?”

You nuzzle into your pillow.

“I know you have and…” you sigh again, rubbing your eyes, “like you said it’s my stupid brain. I know what you guys tell me but that little fucking gremlin inside me doesn’t. It just tells me you guys are being kind or taking pity on me.”

Cumulus hums in her throat and her eyes look sad.

“Let me tell you something about ghouls,” she begins, scooting closer to you, “We don’t establish a pack until we’re summoned but many ghouls find their mates prior to that point, in the pit. None of us did and as much as we all care for one another we always knew there was a piece missing. Did you know I saw you first? You were front row for a ritual and even from my spot at the keyboard I noticed you. You just had a…a vibe. Gave me butterflies. I told the others after the show. Then when Bug and Rora were summoned we waited to see if they would latch onto you like we did - it was almost instantaneous. When you were asked to assist us with moving boxes in the rehearsal room that day where we first asked if you wanted to hang out? No accident. We requested you, specifically. Sathanas, we were all so scared of…well scaring you away.”

“Dew was the first one to talk to me,” you murmur, with a smile. Cumulus huffs out a laugh.

“Yeah, we were all hoping he wouldn’t say anything too uh…caustic.”

You giggle.

“He complimented my rosary,” you say softly, “you know, my garnet and gold one? Told me it was sick because the beads look like blood drops. I never forgot the way he smiled at me when I laughed.”

“He’s charming, when he wants to be,” Cumulus chuckles.

“He’s a sweetheart,” you counter, “He’s all bark.”

The ghoulette gives you a doubtful look.

“You didn’t see him with that sister who insulted y–”

Your jaw drops a little as she cuts herself off and shakes her head.

“Anyway,” she continues gently, carefully sidestepping the murderous nature of her pack, “right from the get-go we all knew you were the one. After Swiss got to you well…we hoped the pieces would fall into place. And we fucked it up…Satan knows we fucked it up a few times but now that you’re here? With us? Darling, it’s everything. You are everything. Our missing piece.”

You smile at her and when you get teary eyed again she swiftly leans in and kisses your cheek.

“Thank you,” you whisper. She pecks you on the lips before pulling back.

“Now about this other part,” she says with faux-sternness, “what do you mean you hate your body?”

“Ugh,” you begin, rolling onto your back to stare at the canopy above you. You know saying this is going to be easier without Cumulus’ soft gaze looking into yours. “You know it’s the usual…internalized fatphobia bullshit. I don’t like what I see in the mirror, never have. Especially when I compare myself to the other sisters…I envy you, you know?”

She cocks her head at you and you face her once more.

“You’re so confident and beautiful and you know you’re beautiful and that makes you even more beautiful,” you gush, making her lips twitch, “I just…augh. Want that for me too, you know?”

Cumulus shakes her head.

“Humans are so weird about their bodies,” she sighs, “as if the vessels that hold all your complexities and your knowledge and your love and the things that make you…you…are anything but incidental. There’s no one right way to be beautiful. Not to be cheesy or anything but beauty can’t be universally gauged by any one person’s opinion. Or society’s opinion for that matter. And like you said - you think I’m beautiful and we have similar shapes, would you ever speak as unkindly to me as you do yourself?”

“No!” you blurt out, hand reaching out to grab hers, “‘Lus I would never.”

“So what makes you any different?” she asks patiently.

“I…well…”

“Exactly,” she nods, triumphant. “You are physically beautiful whether you believe it or not but more importantly your heart is what drew all of us. None of us had ever made friends with siblings before you and you welcomed us into your life with open arms, no judgment. You treated us with kindness and grace from the moment we first spoke. We adore all of you - whether that’s your body, your mind, or your soul. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you and I guarantee if you ask the others they’ll say the same.”

“Thank you.” Your voice is small and you dodge her gaze.

Cumulus makes a thoughtful noise and grabs the edge of the blanket, yanking it off the two of you, causing you to squawk at your nakedness. Cumulus’ gaze is hungry, traveling up your body from feet to face.

“I’m not trying to change the subject or anything,” she purrs, reaching a hand out to knead your hip, “but how about I show you just how beautiful you really are, huh?”

Your throat is dry as you look over her like she did you before nodding.

“I’ll go gentle,” Cumulus murmurs, claws dancing along your skin, “you uh…you got that gift I gave you?”

Oh, do you. Not that you’ve had much use for it with your ghoul harem on call.

“Bedside drawer,” you rasp out as her fingers cheekily pinch at your nipple, “there’s uh…others in there too.”

Cumulus rises from the bed and stands, waggling her eyebrows at you. When she opens the drawer she gasps in delight.

“Who…?”

“Aurora,” you laugh softly, “she told me my stash was ‘severely lacking’ and you know how Papa Copia gave you guys that credit card?”

Cumulus laughs and the sound is so bright and joyous it makes your heart clench.

“Let’s see,” she begins, bending over. “Found the one I got you. And hmm…perhaps this?”

You look to see what she’s put on the bed. The little pocket vibe with devil horns she got you, which you are extremely fond of, and…oh. Interesting. The iridescent glass dildo you hadn’t tried yet with its bulbous head and smooth shaft. Your mouth falls open, considering the implications of the items you see before you and when Cumulus clears her throat, your eyes shoot up to hers.

“Easy, girl,” she breathes, scooching her nightgown up her body and over her head. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve seen her do it, your mouth still waters. She grabs the toys and crawls over to you, grinning sharply. Once she’s by your side you roll onto your back, tongue darting out to wet your lips. You can already feel the heat and slick accumulating between your thighs. She props her head up and with her free hand, she drags her cool fingertips down your arm, leaving goosebumps in her wake. 

“Love how sensitive you are,” she purrs, her breath stirring your hair. She reaches between you and picks up the little vibe, turning it on. With a grin she drags it across your lips and jaw, along your clavicle, down your sternum, and brushes the underside of your breast. Between her cool touch and your arousal you feel your nipples growing taut and judging from the delighted noise Cumulus just made, she sees it too.

“Pretty,” she breathes, taking the toy and circling the bud, playing connect the dots with the little bumps on your areola. “You like these pretty titties?”

She patiently waits for you to answer, content to just tease you until she hears you say it - and mean it. You look down and behold the swell of your breasts.

“Y-yeah,” you stutter out, “yeah I do.”

She makes a noise of affirmation in her throat before mercifully dragging the vibe over your nipple. The sensation makes your cunt clench and your legs spread wider.

“How about this one, you like this one?” she asks, sliding the vibe over to your other breast.

“Yes,” you breathe, more confident this time. She rewards you by leaning in and slipping your taut nipple into her mouth, sucking insistently. When your hips flex and a moan escapes you, she returns the vibe to your other nipple. The hungry little noises she makes as her tongue slides over you has your hand flying to her curls. When she pulls off, you let out an embarrassing whine.

“‘Lus, please,” you whimper.

“Don’t worry, angel, I’m not done with you yet. Got all night, huh?”

All night. The implication of her having her way with you until the sun rises makes another gush of slick come out of you. You surely must be dripping on the duvet at this point. She tucks her body along yours, her leg hooking around your calf to spread you open and she inhales sharply.

“Mmmm,” she moans, knowing full well she’s caught the scent of you. The notion makes your head fall back against your pillow and your back arch. “Filthy girl,” she pants as she drags the little vibe over your belly, “filthy, beautiful girl. Isn’t that right?”

She stops her hand at your mound, teasing along the curls. You know she won’t descend further until you say what she wants to hear.

“Beautiful girl,” you say, breathing heavily through your nose. She moves the vibe closer to your slit.

“Say it again,” she tells you and you exhale sharply.

“Beautiful girl.”

She drags along the slit.

“Again,” she prompts.

“Beautiful gir–ah!”

When she slips the little devil between your folds and rests it on your clit, you want to cry with relief. Her fingers press down on it as your hips buck upwards and you moan.

“‘Lus, so good. Fuck, yes, right there.”

She smiles and leans in to kiss your throat, her tongue tracing over your carotid. You’re squirming but she holds the little devil steady against you, teeth dragging over your skin as your hips buck up against her. 

“Gonna cum quick for me tonight, huh baby?”

You let out a whine and bite your lip, nodding vigorously.

“Yes, yes, yes, Cumulus, fuck, don’t stop, don’t–ah!”

Now you know you’re dripping on the duvet as your cunt clenches around nothing and Cumulus urges you through your first orgasm of the night. You feel almost dizzy as you fist the covers and look over at her with adoring eyes.

“L-love you.”

She grins, all teeth.

“You’re easy, aren’t you? Besides I know you love me - let’s work on you, hmm?”

Gently she eases the vibe away from you so you can catch your breath. When she picks up the dildo and raises it to rest the head on your lower lip you groan.

“Didn’t forget about this beauty, did you?” she coos and lazily you flick your tongue out to brush against the tip. The action makes her gasp and her gaze darken.

“That’s right,” she breathes, “I remember how much you liked my cock in your mouth. First one you ever had. Can you be a good, pretty little slut and take this one for me too?”

You nod and extend the flat of your tongue for her to put the head on. When she eases it into your mouth you hollow your cheeks and suck hard on the glass, eyes on hers. Cumulus has maintained immaculate control of herself all evening until this point and you feel her sharp exhales on your shoulder as she slowly slides the dildo out of your mouth and pushes it back in. The glass is cool in your mouth as you greedily take more.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” Cumulus murmurs, “Nice and deep. Like to watch you with one of the guys sometime. Maybe Mountain or Aether. Watch that pretty little mouth stretch and stretch while you take their fat cocks. Maybe we’ll make a contest of it. See who you can take the most of. Would you like that?”

She wetly slides the dildo out of your mouth and lets you pant for a moment.

“Y-yeah. I’d like that ‘Lus.”

“Good girl,” she purrs, dragging it down your chest to your hardened nipple. She giggles before sharply slapping it, making you jolt and your hips twitch.

“Cumulus, please,” you breathe as she continues to make a wet path down your body. When she drags the bulbous head through your folds, you whimper. Obligingly she spreads you open and nudges your entrance with the head.

“Only beautiful girls get fucked,” she hums, ever-so-slightly pushing you open, “So if you really want it that would make you…?”

Your head falls backwards against the pillow as a soft laugh comes out of your open mouth.

“A beautiful girl,” you obediently state.

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes I mean I–I can’t see myself so how would I know?”

Cumulus scoffs.

“You wanna know how you look, baby? The way you flush so prettily from your cheeks all the way down? The way those sweet little nipples look all hard and begging to be sucked? The way your hair falls on the pillow? The wet curls in between your legs and this dripping cunt all ready for me? Darling, what would you call that if not beautiful?”

Your chest heaves and you look her in the eyes.

“I’m a beautiful girl.”

The conviction in your voice makes her cheeks crinkle in a grin and gently she pushes the head of the toy inside you. Your jaw falls open as she continues to ease it inside.

“That’s it, honey,” she murmurs, scooting her body down for greater access and to nuzzle at your breast. “Take it all. Doing so well.”

Your breathing is coming out in short pants, a moan hanging on your lips. When the toy bottoms out she leans down and presses a kiss to your chest. The curved shaft and the fat head of the toy is pressing against a spot inside you that makes white stars bloom behind your closed eyelids.

“Cumulus, please.”

That’s all she needs before she eases the dildo out and pushes it back in. Her pace starts off slow but before long her wrist snaps in controlled thrusts. You can’t speak, can barely keep up with breathing as she fucks you at a steady pace.

“So good for me,” she pants, eyes cast down at the iridescent glass and how it disappears inside you, “so fucking good, baby. Always so sweet. So giving. ‘S what we love about you. How eager you are.”

The slick noises coming out of your body are lewd as your hips buck up to meet each thrust. Your moans are loud and finally you seem to have regained the ability to speak.

“Fuck, ‘Lus,” you whine, “L-love you. Love you so–ah–m-much. Don’t stop. P-please don’t–”

“Oh angel, I wouldn’t dream of it,” she coos, changing the angle of her wrist and making you choke out a gasp, “Watching you come apart is better than anything.”

The pleasure is so intense - feels so good - tears begin to leak out of the corners of your eyes and you know you’re close. You’re babbling nonsense as you sob and she increases her pace, eyes on your cunt.

“Gonna cum for me, honey?” she pants, her own hips flexing against you unconsciously. You try to answer but all that comes out of you is a long, low moan. “Come on my beautiful girl, give it to me.”

Your hips jerk upwards as your back bows off the bed and you cum with a scream. Cumulus is speaking to you but all you can hear is static as she continues to fuck you through your orgasm. You struggle to catch your breath as the corners of your vision go dark and you grab at her.

“C-can’t Cumulus, I can’t.”

Gently she slows her pace and you finally manage to inhale deep when she comes to a stop. She’s panting almost as much as you are, her eyes dancing over your face. You’re overwhelmed - the whole night just too fucking much - and you let out a pathetic little sob. She eases the toy out of you and sets it aside, immediately scooting up to see you.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she breathes, leaning in to press her lips against your forehead. “You did so well, my love. So well. I’m so proud. Beautiful, wonderful girl.”

You expect tears to accompany your sobbing but it would seem you’ve already cried yourself dry tonight. You concentrate on Cumulus’ breath to even out your own as she strokes your sweat-damp hair away from your face.

“That was a lot,” your voice is hoarse and she nods.

“Yeah, it was. And you were perfect. I love you. So, so much, baby.”

You nod and the two of you pull apart, content to calm yourselves in each other’s presence. Cumulus rolls onto her back and stares at the canopy.

“You know…” she begins thoughtfully after a few minutes, raising a hand to point, “we could definitely put a mirror up there.”

The giggle that comes out of you quickly escalates to a guffaw and shaking, you press a kiss to Cumulus’ shoulder.

“Like some kind of depraved sex den?” you ask with a grin.

“Uh-huh,” she confirms, smiling equally wide. You roll your eyes and yawn so wide you hear your jaw pop.

“Bed?” she asks, sitting up.

“Mmm mmhmm,” you say, sitting up, swinging your legs over and standing up. You’re going to be deliciously sore in the morning. 

“Hey,” Cumulus says behind you and you turn around as she peels the covers back, “Proud of you.”

You nod and uncover your side before climbing back in. She does the same.

“Thank you for taking care of me,” you murmur, eyelids heavy. Cumulus leans in to kiss you once on the forehead, once on the cheek, and once on the lips.

“It’s my honor. Sleep well, angel.”

You’re not sure if you respond, already drifting off. The rumble of purrs fills your head and sets you at ease. You’re warm. You’re safe. And you are loved.

[janeallover]

teasing and fucking u in the morning <3

hiiiii guys. basically i grope your tits and rub between your legs with my thigh while making you have a normal conversation with me. then i finger you, and then fuck you with a rabbit.

word count: 2920

“So, what else do you have to get done today to feel good enough to go out tonight?” I say, breaking apart from our kiss.

My leg is slung across your thigh delicately and deliberately, close enough to your core that you know what's coming, but far away enough that you want more. My hands are on your sides, underneath my t-shirt that you’re wearing, my hold on you securing what you already know; I’m in control right now. 

“Well, I need to work on my cog sci essay for at least two hours. I want to take my meds soon so I can really focus.” 

As you’re talking, I’m inching my hands up your body. You know I want to make you nervous, and you don’t give me what I want yet. Your tone is cool and calm, although your body gives away a slight twitch as the tips of my fingers brush the undersides of your tits. 

“Two hours?” I groan, tightening my grip on you as if to not let you get out of my hands for such a long time. “I want you to pay attention to me.” I inch my leg higher up between your legs. Just barely, but I know you feel it, and you know you can’t acknowledge it. 

“I’m always paying attention to you.” Still confident, almost begging me to try my hardest to make you fall apart for me.

“When you take your meds, are you gonna stop wanting to just be with me and want to work?” I put on my most convincing tone, sliding my thumbs over your nipples and taking your soft tits in my hands. My leg is fully in between yours now, but I haven’t started pushing up the way I know you want me to. I’m moving quickly but with purpose, partly because I can’t help myself. I love how your perky tits feel in my hands, love touching them and teasing them. It makes me feel like I own you, knowing I’m the only one who gets to touch you like this so casually. “I wanted to take a shower with you. Are you just gonna be thinking about your essay?”

“You act like the Vyvanse is magical. I don’t think I would be able to just think about my essay if we were in the shower together.” I slide my leg up, pushing up on your chest at the same time. “I can take it and we can still have a slow morning.” 

I kiss you, slowly, but increasing the pressure between your legs and in my grip, pushing deeper into your nipples with my fingers. 

“I have to get some work done too. I can show you where I go in the library.”

Now you’re starting to get a little bit worked up. Your face is flushed and your body melts into my touch, your hips unable to stop themselves from grinding down onto my leg, your breath quickening as I grope your chest.

“Sounds good.” Your answer isn’t clipped, but it doesn’t do much for advancing the conversation. 

“So…how are you doing?”

“I’m really good.”

I love when you’re earnest like this. I kiss you and it’s sweet, and then I kiss you again and you’re grabbing onto me, pushing your aching cunt harder against my thigh. 

“Oh yeah?” I’m whispering now, and I’m by your ear, my own ear hovering above your mouth. “Why are you so good?”

“I think you know why.”

I kiss you and push my leg up harder and faster, my tongue exploring your mouth as my hands explore your body. One hand snakes down to your ass, ruthlessly squeezing the firm muscle and helping you ride my leg.

“Do you want to feel even better?” I slide my other hand down your front, holding my palm right over your lower stomach as I play with the waistband of your underwear, letting it spring back against you.

“Yes.” You admit, knowing the confession of your desire despite your discomfort is what I’m looking for. 

I extract my leg from between your thighs, move onto my knees as I take the waistband of your underwear in both of my hands.

“Can I take these off?”

You nod, and I pepper a few kisses from the sides of your mouth down to your jaw and your neck before slipping your underwear to your ankles. I kiss you again, deeply, and I know you feel vulnerable like this, knowing how I'm going to make you feel good. One of my hands is supporting your neck, locked into your hair on the other side, pulling you closer into me. The other touches your chest, before I slowly run down your body to touch where your leg meets your abdomen. I move my hand closer to the warmth between your legs, and you gasp and arch. 

“Is this okay?” You know I know it is, but you also know I love hearing you say it.

“Very.” You still manage to be somewhat collected. I just want to make you a mess for me, but you hold back so much.

I finally make my way down to your needy cunt, indulging myself in feeling how wet your hole has gotten from my teasing. You gasp as I feel your aching entrance, circling your clit with my index and middle finger. 

“You’re really wet for me.” I look into your eyes, your cheeks are flushed and you can’t give me an answer besides nodding. 

I position my middle finger at your entrance. 

“Do you want me to?”

“Mmm-hmm.” You’re breathless, and I think your affirmation comes out in a more desperate tone than you would have preferred. 

I press my finger into you, as you shift down onto it, your cunt tightening as I curl it up slowly. I continue this motion, before pulling my finger out and teasing your clit. You’re arching your head backwards in pleasure, and I use the hand that’s in your hair to pull it back a little bit further. You feel the extent of the control I have over you, and it forces you to let out a whimper. 

“Is that good?” I whisper.

“It’s really good.” I kiss your neck, almost as a reward for your admittance, sucking and biting as I press into you with my middle finger again.

I come back up from your neck, positioning myself in such a way that I can hear your breath quickening because of my touch. 

“I love hearing your breath get like that.”

You can’t do much in response other than give a bashful smile and a shameful giggle, but I speed up my circles on your clit and your breath falters again, making my own core throb. 

“You’re so fucking hot.” I kiss you, loving the way you accept my tongue so easily into your mouth, the way you let go and let me make all the decisions for you. 

“Do you want another finger?” I tease my ring finger with my middle finger now over your warm hole. I know it’s aching to be filled up more, I can hear how wet you are, but I want to hear you say it.

“Yes, please.”

I don’t hesitate before pressing two fingers inside you, extending and curling as deeply as I can. I’m rewarded with a small moan escaping your mouth, in response to which I increase the pace of my fingers curling inside you, pressing my arm further up into you and using my leg to support you from the back of your thigh. I kiss down your neck to one of your tits, sucking and biting the skin and licking and kissing your nipples. Combined with my fingers filling you up, the stimulation puts you in a haze, thinking about nothing except my fingers touching your cunt. I’m stretching your pussy with my fingers, spreading them apart with each push deeper.

“Do you think you can take another one, baby?” I whisper gently into your ear. I know you love being treated like this, being made to feel good and treated nicely the way you deserve. 

You nod, and I know you feel like if you said anything it would come out sounding a lot like begging. I press a third finger into you. You’re getting desperate now. Your breath itself is stuttering, and it only makes me want to go deeper and harder. Every little noise you let out makes me need you more desperately. 

As soon as I feel you starting to get close, I pull my fingers out of your cunt. It’s abrupt and you’re left grinding into thin air, looking up at me 

“What are you doing?” You’re sharp, but you can’t help but sound disappointed and confused. 

I kiss you, and you kiss me back reluctantly. I bring my fingers up to my mouth and lick your wetness off of them. Your breath hitches and your expression has a hint of skepticism, although it doesn’t do well at covering up your desperation. 

I get off the bed and stand up, leaving you half naked and legs crossed under my sheets. It becomes clear to you now why it felt like I was getting your cunt ready for something instead of focusing on getting you off the way I normally would. I climb back into bed with my pink rabbit and little blue bottle of lube, and watch your nervous smile grow. 

“I would really love to fuck you with this.”

You look desperate, laying on my pillow and looking up at me with your shirt pulled up like that. You pull me close, it’s hot having you whisper directly into my ear but I also know it’s partly because you can’t look me in the eyes for what you’re going to say next.

“I need you to fuck me with it.”

I smile and kiss you quickly before tugging at your shirt. You sit up and I take it off. Even though I love fucking you in my clothes, I love seeing you like this for me even more. I straddle you, and you know I’m going to make you work for it, the way I never let you get anything too easily, even though I give you everything you want. 

I trace the toy up your chest, giggling at your look of reluctance. 

“I kind of feel like you know what I’m thinking of having you do with it,” I tease, as I draw closer to your neck and collarbones. 

“I think you want me to say it.” 

“You know I do.”

“You want me to put it in my mouth.”

I nod and grin, placing my other arm on your shoulder and holding you down as I inch towards your mouth with the plastic cock. You look shy, but you’re grinding back up into me as I shift in your lap. I tap your bottom lip with the tip, and you part your lips obediently. It’s a start, but I move my hand from my shoulder to your jaw, placing my thumb on your bottom row of teeth.

“Wider.” You listen, parting your lips further as I gently pull your mouth open. A warmth builds in my core from the sight of you. 

“Come on baby. Like you mean it.”

You look up at me, and lick up the underside of the toy, before sucking the tip and taking it in your mouth. I move my other hand into your hair, forcing your head up as I push it further into your mouth. 

“That’s it, get it nice and wet to go inside you.”

This seems effective, as you groan and take it further down your throat, gagging a little bit as you salivate all over it. I know I have lube, but I love making you use your mouth to get the cock ready to go in your needy pussy.

I pull it out of your mouth slowly, watching the string of saliva between your lips and the toy hang. 

“Good job, baby.” I said, shifting my leg to rub up against your aching cunt as a reward for your enthusiasm. I can tell you like being told you’re doing a good job, as you whimper and uncontrollably pulse against my thigh. 

I grab the lube and add some on top of your spit, using my hand to rub it together. I fully dismount from on top of you, instead positioning my knees on either side of one of your legs, bringing the rabbit to tease your wet pussy. You’re desperate for me, holding back moans as I lightly trace your nipples with my tongue and tease your hole with the cock. 

“Is it okay if I start going in?”

You nod, and I make an initial brief push into your entrance, stopping and hearing your gasping and feeling you clutch the back of my t-shirt. You nod for more, fervently, and I comply. I push the toy deep inside you, and watch you gasp as you’re filled so wholly for the first time. You moan as I thrust slightly and I kiss your tits once again, making you squirm. 

“I’m gonna turn it on,” I tell you, not asking anymore. Your eyes widen. It seems as though you’ve forgotten the toy can do more than fill up your needy hole. 

I rotate the rabbit so that the little ears are on your clit, and then turn the base knob to the lowest setting. 

You shudder as your clit is all of a sudden stimulated while your cunt is filled up, your moans tumbling out even louder as I thrust it deeper inside of you. 

“Can you tell me if that’s good, baby?”

“It’s really good,” you whimper, melting into my touch. I know you love when I talk to you while I’m fucking you. You love when I make you admit how much you like what I’m doing to you. 

“Aww, I’m so glad,” I say, continuing to leave marks on your tits with my mouth. 

I sit back to look at you as I continue going harder, moving the cock in and out of your pussy.

“Is this a good pace, or do you want me to go a little faster?” I whisper into your ear. 

You flush at the thought of saying it out loud, but you know that if you tell me what you want, I’ll give it to you. 

“You can go a bit harder,” you admit breathlessly into my ear, making my core tighten. 

I easily comply, fucking you so hard that you’re bouncing up and down on the mattress, gripping onto me for support. I turn the vibration up a notch, and you lurch and twitch your hips violently. 

“Oh, does that feel good?”

You can’t help but let out moans in response, less and less able to think by the second. Seeing you become such a mess for me  is turning me on so much. I stop thrusting as hard and let the vibrations make you squirm. 

I feel powerful like this, holding the rabbit in you and to your clit, making you a mess with a toy while I calmly sit back and watch you unravel. I turn it up to the highest level. 

“Fuck,” you moan, your back arched completely off of the mattress. 

“You’re so fucking pretty like this.” I kiss your neck. “Tell me how good it feels, baby.” I know this is hard for you, but I want to hear you desperate.

“It’s so—” You’re interrupted by a moan as I press the toy firmly onto your clit, simultaneously thrusting it upwards deeper into your cervix. “Fucking good.”

I can tell you’re close, and I let the sensations course through you as I tease your nipples with my other hand and tongue. Your chest heaves and your moans are intermittently pushed out of you by the force of your movement up and down on the bed. I can’t get over how good you look, fucked out for me even though you’re usually so composed.

“Don’t stop,” you sigh breathlessly, and I’ve never needed to be told something less. I move my arm down to grab your side above your hip, guiding you up and down the length of it. Your head is completely thrown back, one hand wrapped up in the back of my shirt, the other on the back of my head. I kiss you as you arch once more, your hips slowing down but pushing down and taking the length of the rabbit more firmly. I bite your bottom lip and let my tongue feel around your mouth as you sigh, your hips shuddering and your legs twitching. 

I slowly release the pressure of the toy on you, kissing you gently as your body releases its tension in my arms. I pull the toy out slowly, and you gasp as it fully exits your dripping hole. I reach down, and pull your underwear back up over your hips, and then my shirt back over your head, tracing soft kisses across your face. 

“Are you tired? You can take your meds and then we can relax for a little before you start your essay.”

You look up at me, chest heaving slightly, but eyes steady. You bury a hand in my hair, and pull me in for a slow kiss. 

“I think we should take that shower you were talking about earlier.”

[wolfjackle-creates]

Wow. I am blown away by the response to my bang fic so far. I did not expect a Jazz POV fic with a (relatively) rare pair to do half so well as it has.

But here's another scene I love from the first chapter. Consider checking out on AO3 if you haven't already!

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Twenty minutes later, they were curled up together on Dick’s bed with the lights out. Jazz had insisted on being the little spoon. After the last few days she’d had, she wanted nothing more than to have her boyfriend curled protectively around her.

“Jazz?”

“Hmmm?” she replied, already half asleep.

“Do you— Are you— Is it good for you, to work with metas in trouble?”

Her eyes flew open and she stared into the dark room. Any hint of sleep was gone as she lay there tense. Dick’s arm tightened around her stomach. She took one deep breath, then another. “You’re worried because of my brother.” It was a statement, not a question.

Dick hummed, “We’re similar in some great ways and some terrible ones. I want to make sure taking cases like Callum’s isn’t going to keep you wallowing and unable to move on.”

Jazz screwed her eyes shut against the burning. “My brother is dead,” she said, the half-truth ash in her throat. “He is dead and I couldn’t stop it. His powers only made him more of a target and not a single adult tried to stick up for him.” Each word was harder to say than the last. “If I can keep it from getting that bad for anyone else… I need to do it. I wouldn’t be able to face myself in the mirror if I didn’t try.”

“Okay,” said Dick. “Okay. I believe you.”

Jazz forced herself to relax again. Of course Dick would be worried. If their positions had been reversed, she would’ve asked the same thing.

Just as she was starting to relax, Dick spoke again. “Would he have liked me?”

Jazz sucked in a breath; behind her, Dick tensed. Before he could apologize or try to take back his question, Jazz replied. “Danny hated every guy I dated in high school.”

Dick’s arm tightened around her, and Jazz grabbed his hand to thread their fingers together.

“I can’t blame him, though. I dated some horrible guys. The worst, get this, he only dated me because he was part of some weird magic cult. They fucked up a ritual or something and he wanted to use my body as a host for his real girlfriend’s soul when her body got destroyed.”

“What the fuck?” asked Dick. “Didn’t you grow up in the middle of nowhere? That’s some Blüdhaven or Gotham shit.”

Jazz laughed and squeezed his hand. “The corn makes people crazy. Now hush, let me answer your question.”

“Sorry,” said Dick, but Jazz could hear the smile in it. And feel it when he kissed the back of her neck.

“Quite all right. Now, Danny, as I said, he hated every guy I dated.” She bit her lip. Despite the jokes, she struggled to talk around the lump forming in the back of her throat. “But none of them were good guys. If I had been able to introduce the two of you, he’d be mistrustful. And probably try to interrogate you.” She chuckled, though it was a bit wetter than her normal. “Not that it’d phase a police officer like you.

“But… Yes, Dick. Once I’d convinced him to give you a legit chance? He’d have loved you. The two of you have the same sense of humor, the same sense for justice, and the same disregard for personal safety. I’d go gray worrying about what the two of you were up to behind my back.” She let out a shaky breath and repeated, “He’d have loved you.” The truth of that statement burned more than the lies and Jazz kept herself still so Dick wouldn’t notice the tears she couldn’t stop.

It was a long moment before Dick replied. “Good. I’m glad.”

“Now, let me get some sleep.”

Dick kissed her spine again. “Good night. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

-----

Read more on AO3

[mpregandproud]

THE BEACH

I love going to the beach. Since I was very young I have loved going down to the beach, lying on the sand to sunbathe and spend the day swimming in the sea. The beach recharges my batteries and fills me with life, it's like medicine for me.

Now that I'm in the final days of my pregnancy, and I'm on paternity leave, every day I go to the beach for a while. I like to take the car and look for a remote and quiet place. I look for secluded places with few people so I can go nudist. With the size of my belly, any swimsuit is too tight. So the best way I feel is leaving my belly free, getting a tan and feeling the breeze of the air all over my skin.

Today I have chosen a beautiful and tiny beach. It's between some cliffs, with crystal clear water and a few shady trees. I put my towel under one of these trees and took off all my clothes. I apply cream all over my body, and feel that my belly is harder than normal, and a little lower. I guess it will be normal at 38 weeks, I should be going into labor any minute now. Today will be my last visit to the beach, as a precaution I will stay home until after delivery.

As soon as I lay down I fell asleep. The temperature is so pleasant and the sound of the waves has made me fall asleep. It must have been a couple of hours since I arrived when I woke up again. My baby has started to move more than usual. I feel intermittent pressure. I'm guessing Braxton Hicks contractions.

I get up from the towel and head for the water. I'm going to swim for a while, which I'm sure will ease the pain and soothe my son. He's just like his father, big and very mobile, what a nine months he's given me. I am kidding, the best nine months of my life. Sam and I were going through a rough patch, and this baby came along to fill our lives with love...and sex. We've never fucked as much as we have these past few months. They say hormones make you horny, but I don't know if me or my husband has been hornier this time.

I swim for a while. I walk with my belly underwater, caressing the pronounced curve of my belly. This little guy doesn't want to settle down today, and the contractions are getting stronger. Am I going into labor? I should pack up my things and go home. I have to let Sam know he's going to be a daddy very soon.

I start to get out of the water with great difficulty. Every few steps a pain runs through my body and forces me to stop. When I get my breath back, I get going again. As soon as I get out of the water I feel something is wrong. The strongest contraction I have ever felt... and then a river of water pours into my crotch. No doubt about it, I'm in labor and this baby doesn't want to wait. I bring my hands to my belly as if trying to grab it from underneath and try to reach my towel. I'm finding it harder and harder to walk, my steps are more and more clumsy.

By the time I get to my towel I am so exhausted that all I can do is sit down and spread my legs. I convince myself that it will only take a few minutes to catch my breath and get back on the road to catch the car and go to a hospital. Another contraction and the pressure grows enormously in my hole. I let out a moan. It's coming, and I'm going to have it on the beach. This boy may be big like his dad, but he likes the beach like his daddy.

With my hand I feel my hole. I feel hair, it's the boy's head, it can't be, he's already here! The pain gets worse, I'm sweating and trembling. I moan non-stop and writhe in pain. A man who was with some children at the other end of the beach, and who I swear is also pregnant, approaches me and touches my belly. "Easy, breathe, I'm here to help you. Don't worry, everything will be fine. I've given birth twice...and in a couple of months I'll be giving birth to twins. I know how this goes. Relax, I'm going to help you deliver your little one", he tells me. His calm voice reassures me, I know I'm in good hands.

My legs spread wider and wider to make way for my son. Almost effortlessly, but with a great deal of pain, his head pops out. This child wants out and is not willing to waste a minute. I take a breath and start with the shoulders. More pain, screaming, sweat and fluids. I imagined giving birth to my son in a hospital, with my husband next to me and my body clean. How delusional.

The baby finally comes out and I wrap him in the T-shirt I brought to come to the beach. "Congratulations, you were very brave. You just had a beautiful and very big baby boy. Congratulations" the man says. I'm crying, my son is crying too. I sit down and rest my son on my flabby belly, it has lost the size it had after giving birth, but it is still swollen. It will be hard for me to lose all the kilos I have gained during these nine months of eating non-stop for two.

When we have calmed down a bit I grab my phone from my backpack and call Sam. "Hi my love. I'm at the beach and you won't believe it. Congratulations, you just became a daddy. This little guy didn't want to wait and he's born now, can you come pick us up? I love you".

I have never been so happy in my life. I am in tears with emotion. I breastfeed my baby while I wait for Sam to arrive. I see the man who helped me playing with his two children on the shore with a huge belly of twins. He smiles at me when he sees me breastfeeding my baby. Now I know, I want a big family like his.

[writingforbordem]

Always you

Summary: Walking away is always the hardest thing to do, but when things are complicated it’s even harder.

The nightclub was loud—too loud. The bass thrummed in Y/N’s chest, the kind of relentless rhythm that made it impossible to think. Which, tonight, was exactly the point.

She’d spent months convincing herself that she was done. Done with the chaos, the hurt, the constant push and pull of being tied to Max Verstappen. Moving on had felt like the only way to survive. So here she was, dancing with someone whose name she didn’t even care to learn, pretending her heart wasn’t stitched together with the threads of a man who wasn’t even hers.

But then, like clockwork, he appeared.

She didn’t notice him at first, too caught up in the swirl of music and alcohol. It wasn’t until she felt that familiar pull, the weight of his gaze cutting through the crowd, that her body stiffened.

Max was here.

She turned, and there he was, standing at the edge of the dance floor like a shadow she couldn’t outrun. His hair was messy, his jaw tight, and his piercing blue eyes locked on hers.

“Of course,” she muttered under her breath, untangling herself from her dance partner.

He didn’t wait for her to come to him; Max never waited. He crossed the distance between them in long, determined strides, the crowd parting like they could feel the storm brewing around him.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded as soon as he was close enough to hear her over the music.

“I could ask you the same thing,” he shot back, his voice low but laced with irritation.

Her fists clenched at her sides. “Don’t do this, Max. Not tonight.”

But he didn’t back down. He never did. “You don’t belong here with him.”

She laughed, a bitter sound that barely masked the hurt bubbling beneath the surface. “And where do I belong, Max? With you? Because last I checked, that never worked out, did it?”

His jaw tightened, but he didn’t say anything. That silence was answer enough.

She stepped closer, her voice shaking now—not with fear, but with anger. “Every time I try to move on, you show up like this, like you can’t stand the idea of me being happy without you. But you’re never ready to give me what I need, are you?”

“Y/N—”

“No,” she cut him off, her eyes burning with unshed tears. “You don’t get to do this anymore. You don’t get to walk into my life whenever it suits you, mess everything up, and then leave me to pick up the pieces.”

He ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. “You think this is easy for me? You think I don’t hate myself for not being able to let you go?”

“Then don’t,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “But if you’re going to stay, then stay. Stop making me feel like I’m not enough for you to fight for.”

Max stared at her, his chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. For the first time, he looked lost, like he didn’t have an answer.

And that was the moment she realized she couldn’t keep waiting for him to figure it out.

“I deserve more than this, Max,” she said, stepping back. “I deserve someone who knows what they want, and I can’t keep letting you take that from me.”

His hand reached for hers, but she pulled away, shaking her head.

“Goodbye, Max.”

She turned and walked away, her heart shattering with every step. But for the first time, she wasn’t looking back. And for the first time it wasn’t always about him.

Anais’s thoughts: Hi!! I made another one!!! Thanks for reading again and leave any feedback or suggestions on what I should write next! Love Anais🩷