#and not have struggled as much... anyways going to accidentally make myself cry lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bonny-kookoo · 4 years ago

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Under Your Skin (JJK x Reader) | 🔞

Pairing: Tattoo Artist!Goth/Punk!Jeon Jungkook x Secretary!Shy!Reader

Genre: Tattoo artist!AU, Badboy x Sweetgirl AU, Idk what else

Tags/Warnings: Ultimate goodboy Kook, He looks grr but is actually sweet, shy reader, smol reader, Kookers is WHIPPED, Also a tease, Dom!Jungkook because how could I not, Sub!Reader, Babygirl!Reader, Its not heavy on the whole ddlg-stuff but yeah they be having some vibes y'know, don't come @ me don't I'm not forcing you to read it lol, anyways moving on, because smut, yes I mean it's my content, and yall nasty admit it, slight hair pulling, manhandling also only a little, oral (f & m receiving), praising, mentions of emotional and physical insecurities, but Kook be supportive so we good, back to the nasty, body worship yes pls, biting, fingering, because why not, protected sex because we keep it clean in this household, light-hearted sex, kook being a romantic goof, yeah I think thats it?

Summary: Jungkook looks like absolute trouble; like one wrong look could set him off, and turn him into an absolute murderer. But oh well, ever heard the phrase 'Never judge a book by its cover'?

A/N: you might have noticed me only putting one emoji up top. I have decided to from now on only mark my adult fics with emojis (which is basically almost every single one lets be real). Also; stop reading my fucking fics if any of the tagged/warned things make you uncomfortable. I'm tired of everyone clowning in my inbox telling me how disgusting ddlg/smut content is. You can't even tell me you 'read it by accident' because that's why I'm always putting the cut underneath my fics =) so pls go finish preschool and then we can maybe shake hands. Maybe not. Covid and all. Yeah.

On the outside, Jeon Jungkook seems like absolute trouble.

He's working at a tattoo and piercing studio, dresses in all black, clattering chains and heavy boots always alerting everyone around of his presence. His long black hair is never truly tamed, his nails painted black, and his face expressionless most of the time. He's a talented artist and well trained piercer, always visiting conventions to keep up with the newest trends, styles, and equipment there is. He takes his job seriously- and is proud of it, knowing that he had proven his family wrong by now. They had been worried about him; especially his mother had scolded him that he shouldn't throw his time away trying to make it in a world of art many had already failed. But last year, he had finally invited them over to his rather nice apartment, showing them that he was living a good life, with nothing to really worry about.

Jungkook had made it.

Well, not quite.

Because as of currently, Jungkook had a new mission, a new goal.

"Ah, Jungkook!" You say, eyes sparkling as you smile at him when he enters the shop he works at. You had recently started to work there as well, since Taehyung was absolute shit at keeping files in order and track of schedules. You hadn't applied for the job specifically, that's at least what his coworker had told him- he had known you prior already, and was aware that you had wanted a change these days.

And Jungkook had been painfully crushing on you ever since you started.

"Your schedule for the week is already here- I uhm.. didn't put it on your desk cause, I didn't want to intrude your space and all.." You say, giving him a small black booklet where you always noted down his appointments. He appreciated it a lot- knowing how much of a hassle it could be to move dates back and forth just to somehow make it fit. You always made sure that he had enough time in between multiple daily pieces in case something took longer or less so you could make sure to be able to move things accordingly. You didn't want him to get overworked, you had said. He had smiled.

"Thanks- and you can go inside, no problem." He says, and you nod. "I know you don't make a mess, like someone else here." He says, hinting at Namjoon, who was known to be quite clumsy- yet a mastermind when it came to designing pieces he struggled with. Jungkook stayed at your front desk for a bit, making you tilt your head a bit, as you tried not to stare. He always took so much care of himself, you would have had to be blind not to see how attractive he actually was. But then again, you didn't get your hopes up- after all, he was nice to almost everyone around. "You've never been in there, right?" He asks, and you shake your head. You haven't been in his space at all- too scared to invade his privacy and making him upset in the process. "I mean- you got time right now? I can show you around." He casually tells you, and you look at your computer screen in front of you. Everything had been filed for today- so you probably had a bit of time to spare.

"Sure." You said, taking your phone and standing up from your chair, making sure to lock the pc so no one would accidentally make a mess out of your tabs. Or worse; close them. God knows all hell would break loose.

Jungkook had to really force himself not to let out any noise as you walked next to him.

You were so tiny next to him.

He wasn't that tall to be honest- with Namjoon and Taehyung both taller than him, he knew he was average at best. And for the longest time, he'd had a thing for tall girls, all elegant and confident. He still liked their aesthetic, yes- but now that he spotted you, he could really see the appeal of having a shorter significant other.

You were so cute.

You carefully stepped inside when Jungkook lifted the curtain that was used instead of a door, surprised to see how.. organized everything was. A little.. off- some things seemed to be randomly put somewhere, but in general, it seemed like everything had their proper spot. "I like to have it like this." He comments, and you nod your head to that, finally spotting his tattoo-gun. It was made out of purple steel- polished, and changing its hue depending on how you looked at it. It was absolutely beautiful, even though you had a rather limited understanding of these things. "Was a present from Taehyung last year." Jungkook says, sitting down on his chair. "I never asked- are you inked at all?" He asks, leaning backwards as you stand there a little awkwardly. "You can sit down somewhere, don't be so tense." He chuckles, and you look around, before you sit on the stretcher across from him. You shake your head, and Jungkook isn't surprised. Your pink converse sway back and forth as you sit on the stretcher, legs too short to reach the floor anymore as you rest your hands underneath your thighs; hem of your dress revealing more of them than he can usually see.

"I don't have any tattoos yet, but I've been talking to Namjoon about it." You said, and Jungkooks saliva tastes a little bitter at that. He doesn't want to pout or give away that it's bugging him at all that you're not talking to him about it- but he fails miserably. "Namjoon actually said I should talk to you about it, since the style I want fits you best." You say, and he can't hide his smile, bunny teeth on full display as he leans forward a bit.

"You'd let me tattoo you?" He asks, and you shrug, before nodding. "What do you have in Mind?" He instantly asks, not even bothering to hide his excitement.

If only you knew that it's because of you; and not just because he's gonna be the first to ink you.

You've both agreed on a design you want, and Jungkook can't deny that he thinks it's absolutely perfect on you.

"Are you scared?" Jungkook asks you as he prepares everything, his sweater's sleeves rolled up, revealing his own body art to you, as well as some bracelets; one that you recognize as the wooden-bead bracelet you had gifted him last year for his birthday. It was weird to see him wear it.

"I.. no. Just nervous." You say. "I'm worried I might cry and make a fool out of myself." You say with a laugh, and Jungkook chuckles, placing a reassuring and warm hand on your upper arm.

"It's fine. I've seen grown man cry like kids on this stretcher before." He casually says. "Don't worry; I won't think any less of you just because of some tears." He says with a smile, and you nod, turning your head to look at his room's walls instead; covered in drawings, sketches, and pictures of finished works he was most proud of. "Do you want anything to hold onto?" He asks, as he starts to shave the skin of your thigh to make sure he can work as best as possible. He's so into his work, so concentrated on doing everything perfect, that he doesn't even take much into account that you're laying in only your panties and oversized sweater; skirt neatly placed on a chair in the corner of the room, to get it out of the way.

"It's fine" You mumble, although you really want to. So instead you curl your fingers around the fabric of your sweater- something that doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook, who decides not to comment on it for now. He simply throws the one-time razor away as well as the tissues used to clean your skin, before he carefully places the tracing paper onto where he seems fit.

"I think it would look great right here." He says lowly, carefully removing the paper to reveal the lines he's gonna trace with his gun in a few minutes. "You wanna look at it again?" He asks, and you shake your head. "Alright." He says, before he gets up and walks out his room; only to return with your small squishy and round unicorn plush that's usually sitting on your desk. "To hold onto." He winks, and you chuckle at that.

Jungkook really pays attention.

"So, Taehyung has told me you're a bit younger than me." Jungkook says to start casual chit-chat, trying to help your nervousness as his tattoo-gun starts to buzz to live. "Only a Year if I remember correctly." He says, and you nod.

"Yeah.." You say, and can't hide your dissapoinment flooding your voice. Jungkook, until now, only had relationships with girls older than him. He's even said before that he just likes having someone older than him around- which made you even more nervous around him.

"You sound upset about that." He chuckles, and gently holds onto your thigh as you jump a bit when he first presses the tip of the gun down. "Sorry. I'll be gentle." He lowly tells you, and you swallow.

Not the time Y/N, not the time.

"Uhm.." You say, fingers digging into the squishy plush in your hands. "I.. there's someone I like, but he.. only likes older girls, so.." You say, and Jungkook glances at you. You're already interested in someone? He continues to trace the lines, wiping afterwards to get the excess ink and blood off. "But I mean, then again I don't think I have a chance with him anyways." You chuckle, and Jungkook can't help but shake his head. Even if you're interested in someone else, he shouldn't let you have thoughts like that.

"Highly doubt that." He says. "If he doesn't see you, he's blind." He tells you, and you giggle, glad that he's able to make you feel a bit better about everything. "I'm serious." He says, and you nod at that, watching his inked arm flex every now and then as he draws with absolute concentration; black facemask hiding half of his face. You can see the way his eyebrows furrow, eyes fixated on his work as he moves with absolute routine. "Do I know the guy?" He casually asks, before he dips the tip of his gun in the tiny pot of ink again.

You don't know what to say.

He looks at you for a second, and decides not to dig. "You don't have to tell me. Sorry if I seemed nosy; didn't mean to." He apologizes, and you shake your head to let him know its fine. It's quiet for a moment afterwards, only the buzzing of his gun and your occasional whine of pain. "Sorry; it'll hurt a bit more now since I'm getting close to your inner thigh- that's always a little more sensitive." He comments, and you really hope he doesn't pay much attention to your panties.

When you can see his eyes stick to them for a second, you really want to just disappear.

He doesn't comment on it though. What is he suppsosed to say? He really doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, and considering that you already have a crush on someone else, he doesn't want to get himself in too deep as well. He simply works away, finally finishing the thin and delicate outlines of your piece- the first step, before he will see you again for color and shading. He finally connects the last line, and doesn't think twice about what he says next.

"Good girl."

It takes a second that feels way too long for the both of you to register the words, and Jungkook quickly occupies himself with turning off his gun and cleaning up your skin and his workspace to get the awkwardness out of his room. You try to instantly stand up, but his palm holds onto your leg- silently ordering you to stay put, which you do. He rubs something over the piece, before he gently lifts your leg to wrap it. "I'll give you a bottle of lotion for it. Leave that bandage on for.. I'd say until tomorrow morning at least. Afterwards, apply the lotion everyday to help it heal properly." He lectures you with a gentle voice, before letting you sit up.

"Thanks." You say, grinning eagerly at the now hidden artwork on your leg. Jungkook chuckles.

"We're not done yet, but I'll take it." He says. "I uh.." He starts, as you jump off the stretcher and go to take on your skirt. "uhm, you up for some fast food?" He asks, a bit hurried, before he can chicken out again. And he hates himself for a moment, because you had literally told him just half an hour before that you already had interest in someone else. But maybe you were too innocent to get his innuendo, maybe you wouldn't get that he was asking you on a date-

"Like a date?" You ask, and he really wants to hit himself.

"I mean, if you want it to be?" He says, swallowing as he averts his gaze, a sight very weird. His hand runs through his hair, chain around his neck and piercings on his ears clattering against each other and making sounds as he moves, his combat boots nervously tapping the floor a little. "It doesn't have to be.. I know you're already-"

"I'd love to." You say however, now fully dressed again, as you grin with your bright sparkling eyes.

And Jungkook feels like he's won the lottery.

It's your third time laying on Jungkooks' stretcher like this- waiting for him to work on your art, finishing it today. But the energy is different.

Things are different between you two in general.

After some casual movie dates and rounds of overwatch, Jungkook had admitted to you that he had a crush. It was rushed, while he was driving, so he didn't have to look at you and instantly get hit by your reaction. But then, you had told him that you felt the same- and the two of you agreed to let things process from then on. Whatever would happen; you would let happen.

And Jungkook was starting to flirt with you.

It was a little weird to get close to him like that. While everyone seeing you two was a little taken aback- with your dresses and skirts, and colorful and almost childish personality, he seemed like the absolute opposite- quiet, all dark and dangerous while carrying your milkshake so you could put your phone away into your purse.

"Alright doll, let's finish this." He said with newfound enthusiasm, winking at you as you laughed at his demeanor.

"You seemed more excited than me!" You say, and he chuckles. "You're really desperate to have me gone?" You say in a playfully upset tone, and he simply huffs out a breath, before cockily looking at you for a second.

"That's not true." He says. "I'd just rather have you laid out somewhere else than in my studio, that's all." He casually says, and you shut your mouth at that, cheeks red as he laughs at your cute display of embarrassment. He routinely prepares your skin, before he starts his gun. "Too much?" He asks, and you know he's not talking about the pressure of his ink filled gun on your skin.

"No-" You start, and he now seriously speaks to you, voice a bit muffled through his facemask.

"Please tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable." He says. "You're not upsetting me if you tell me I'm going to far." He says, and you nod, knowing that he now needs a proper answer. Jungkook is way more attentive and romantic than people may think he is. He's a gentleman pulled out of a dictionary- careful and gentle with you, and always keen on getting to know you for you, and not for the person you like to portray yourself as. He wants to know what you like, what you don't like, what you dream of, and what you hate about yourself.

"Don't worry- I will." You say, watching him work on your skin. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums a reply to let you know he's listening. "Is it okay if I sleep?" You ask, and he chuckles.

"Didn't I tell you not to stay up for too long before I left yesterday?" He teasingly retorts back to you, and you pout at him- with no hard feelings behind it. He had left last night after eating with you for dinner at your place; and he did indeed tell you to go to sleep a little earlier since he knew you would have an early shift today, opening up the store. "I'm really tempted to say no." He says, eyes now on your skin again as he dips the tip of his gun in a pot of color. "You know, as punishment for not listening." He mumbles, and you almost don't catch it.

Almost.

"Jungkook?" Taehyung stands in his doorway, finally finding him sitting at his desk. "Oh?" He says in a surprised tone, spotting your sleeping figure on his coworkers lap- head resting against the inside of his shoulder, with your arms around his middle.

"Yeah?" Jungkook asks, not at all shy or fazed by the fact that Taehyung is looking at you. "What is it?" He asks again, as Taehyung smiles, giving the younger man his small booklet that you usually give him every morning.

"Nothing left for today." He said. "Just wanted to tell you good work and send you home." The older one explains, zipping up his own jacket. "Guess she'll be coming with you?" He asks teasingly, but Jungkook doesn't bite the bait at all.

"Yeah. Don't burn the house down while we're gone, you two. " He says, slipping the booklet into his pocket before he pats your back. "Come on doll, let's go home." He tells you, waking you up at least enough to put on your shoes and lead you out the store to his car.

He buckles your seatbelt as the engine comes alive, radio playing its tune softly in the background as he drives you home. "You awake doll?" He asks, and you nod your head, turning towards him with barely open eyes. "You haven't had anything proper to eat today, so I'll make us some ramen at my place, ok?" He asks, and you nod, before your eyebrows scrunch up. "What is it?" He chuckles, and you now grow more awake.

"Wait- but if we eat at yours then you're gonna have to drive me home late." You say, and he shrugs. "Noo, Kook, what if you crash the car because you're sleepy?" You tell him with a whine, genuinely concerned for him, as he has the audacity to laugh. "Kookie, it's not funny I swear to god-!" You say, and he apologizes.

"I mean." He starts, casually dropping what he had wanted to ask you for a couple of weeks now. "You could always just stay over." He tells you, and you look at him, meeting his gaze at the red light he stops at, his head turned towards you for a moment until the lights turn green again.

"We.. would have to stop at mine so I could get some stuff though.." You mumble, and Jungkook looks at you with newfound enthusiasm, setting his turning lights to enter a different road.

It's in a parking lot that you first unintentionally confront him with your biggest insecurities and flaws.

You've tripped over a stray stone you didn't see laying on the ground, leading you to fall onto your hands and scraping your knees open. Just like any normal human being, you dust yourself off, instantly hoping that Jungkook inside the shop hadn't seen you fail at something so basic as walking. You had carried some of the items you two had bought into the car while also returning the shopping cart while he had payed- and by the look on his face, he had definitely seen you.

He wasn't laughing, or hiding his grin, or anything alike. He looked concerned, taking his card back from the cashier before walking out the store, jogging towards you, who sat in the open trunk, ready to get laughed at. Even though somewhere deep in your mind you didn't think he would, past experiences had led to you now having that fear, no matter with whom. "Are you okay?" Jungkook asks, looking at you as he squats down to take a look at your bleeding knees. He reaches into one of the shopping bags, taking out a water bottle and a pack of tissues, before he wets it, one hand holding your leg by the backside of your knee, while the other carefully cleans the small wound. "You gotta be careful Baby." He chuckles a little- nothing like the laughter you had expected.

"I'm fine." You say, not looking up at him.

"It's okay to cry, you know?" He says, and you stay quiet, trying not to breathe too much as you desperately hold them back. "I won't laugh." He promises, deciding not to look at you as to give you a bit more space.

"People will stare though.." You quietly murmur towards him, and he finishes his job, before he goes to throw the now used tissue away in a nearby trashcan. When he returns, he's taking his jacket off, the item way too large on your form as he throws it over you, pulling the hood up as you look at him for the first time since your little accident, eyes sparkling with unshed tears when he pulls the sides of the hood towards him a little. "There." He says, a reassuring smile on his face. "Now no one can see you but me." He tells you. "And I will never, ever, laugh at you." He promises, and pulls your head against his chest, as you start to let go.

He really hates to see you cry- but he's glad that you're letting him in enough to let him see you this way.

Jungkook is frustrated.

He tries not to really show it, because he doesn't want to blow up in your face like that, but then again, you're kind of the reason he feels the way he does. Because even though he thought you both had a genuine connection, you're yet to let him touch you.

And not just hugging and holding hands.

It's not that he's impatient- its because he knows you, at one point, wanted him that way as well. But something happened, something he didn't notice, that made you take ten steps backwards from him. You seemed to be retreating, giving up, and he has no idea what he had done to make you react that way.

As far as he knows, he had done everything right.

But then he sees them; the messages sent back and forth between you and Hana, a returning customer at the shop- well known to flirt with everyone around here. Jungkook himself had actually considered hooking up with her once a year back, simply to make her shut up, but then again, he wasn't into one-night-stands. And she had never truly been his type anyways.

'Ah yeah, just re-schedule that then, I don't mind at all! Just make sure we have enough time together, since we haven't had time to catch up on things recently, if you know what I mean.' She had sent, a week ago; exactly the timeframe you had started to distance yourself. He knew he shouldn't look into it, but then again- this was his business too. He had the right to know.

'Sure? I can give you an appointment at around 4 PM then, so you'll be the last one. Would that be okay with you? Again, sorry for re-scheduling on such short notice.' You had written, and Jungkook can't decide if you had been oblivious to her implication (which was bullshit), or if you were simply too polite to call her out. But it's the next messages that make him fume.

'Again, no troubles. As I said, I only care that its Jungkookie, I don't really trust anyone else with my body that way ;). 4 PM is perfect, you guys still close at around 6 PM right? He's got skilled hands, I'm sure we don't need much more time, if you know what I mean.' she has the audacity to write.

But its your answer that makes him fume.

'Good to know.'

"Jungkook?" You say, looking at the screen, as you suddenly dash forwards, trying to shut the screen off- as if that would make any difference. But he catches your wrist with ease, holding it in his palm as he looks at you.

"Do you think I'm sleeping with her?" He asks, and you try to escape his grasp; and he lets you, staying at your workspace however as he keeps you locked in place with his gaze. "Y/N." He urges, making you look away from him.

"It's none of my business." You say, shrugging. "I.. No, it's-" You start, but he cuts you off.

"No, finish that sentence. 'No' what?" He says, and you've never heard him talk like that.

"I just.. didn't think you'd.. do that." You meekly say, murmuring it as he tilts your head gently upwards to look at him; his face now more relaxed as he softly smiles.

"That's good that you think that way." He tells you. "Because I don't do that at all." He says. "She likes to start drama all the time- was probably bitter I turned her down so much. You know what?" He suddenly says, turning towards the screen as he clicks to change the account, opening his own Inbox as he starts to write an E-Mail.

'Appointment is cancelled, be glad I'm not suing you for defamation. JK.'

"Jungkook-" You say, trying to get him not to send it- but it's already gone. "Why would you do that? Just because I misunderstood?" You whine, and he chuckles, shutting down the system as he looks at the clock, signaling that it's closing time.

"No." He says. "But because I don't want her around anyways, and this gives me a proper reason." He tells you, ruffling your hair as he looks at you. "You coming?" He asks, and you nod, taking your bag and coat before following him out the shop.

In the car, you finally speak up. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums out a reply. "Do you.. think I'm attractive?" You ask, and he clears his throat at the unexpected question.

"I- what?" He asks, unsure what you mean.

"Just.. Namjoon said, that he thinks you.. see me as a friend only? Because I'm nothing like the girls you dated before.. If I misunderstood something here then Oh my god-" You start to ramble, and Jungkook laughs suddenly.

"You think I'm not into you?" He asks, and you shrug. "Of course I want to fuck you doll." He casually comments, and you can't help but feel your cheeks redden. "Wait- did you really think I didn't?" He asks, face showing genuine horror as he looks over at you.

"I mean.. you never really initiated anything so I thought.." You started, and he groans out.

Thank god you're staying the night.

"Looks so pretty, does it?" He hums out, palm running over the tattoo on your thigh, delicate lines and well-placed shadings complimenting the colors perfectly. "You know why I love it most?" He starts, hand suddenly gripping the flesh for a moment, before he pulls you closer on his lap by the small of your back. "Because that's mine." He says, before he leans in, placing an open mouthed kiss against your pulse. "The ink that's under your skin, the design, the idea-" He mumbles against your skin. "And the body it's drawn on." You whine at his tone, dark and low, as he urges you back and forth on his clothed thigh- your panties suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "Isn't it like that, baby?" He asks, and you nod, furiously, and he chuckles. "Hm, you seem out of breath baby.." He grins at you, like a predator.

"Jungkook.." You whine, not knowing what you're asking for.

He wordlessly moves, helping you lay down on his bed before he crawls over you, his lips instantly attached to the skin of your neck, hands helping you out of your dress wordlessly, as he can't help but let his gaze linger on your body for a moment. "I can't believe that-" He says, pulling off your overknee socks. "-you'd ever think of yourself anything less than perfect." He says, placing a gentle kiss to the colorful image now forever placed under your skin by his skilled hands. He continues to display his affection over your skin, wandering over your stomach up to your chest, where he playfully bites just above your breast. He struggles with the front of your bra for a second, unsure how to open the undergarment without breaking it, as you help a little; letting them spring free. But only for a moment.

Because in the next, he's got them in his hands, palms gently moving over them, feeling their softness as he groans. "You're so sweet." he comments, as he finally kisses your lips, smile interrupting him every now and then. "So soft." Another kiss. "So delicate." Another one. "And all mine, yeah?" He asks, and you nod, smiling as he grins back, the expression making him look so young and carefree you can't help but wonder how anyone could ever think he's a bad man.

He's anything but.

He's so careful touching you, so delicate in moving his palms over your skin, as if its the most divine thing he's ever felt. He's still smiling, as if in a trance, while he can't stop kissing you. Your hands move into his hair- way softer than you thought it would be, and he groans into your mouth at the feeling of your fingers running over his scalp.

There's no urgency in anything he does.

He slowly moves again, hands opening your legs for him as he sits back on his heels, playfully pulling you closer by the backs of your knees, making you giggle. "You sound so sweet baby." He tells you, innocently, as if he's not currently placing his hand onto your center, ring finger collecting your already leaking wetness before he spreads it, moving his thumb over your most sensitive bundle of nerves while his ring finger enters you slowly. You whine at the feeling, not enough to get you as riled up as you'd like to be. Also; this is the first time you're genuinely experiencing foreplay. You don't know what to do- and Jungkook seems to pick up on that. "You good?" He asks, and you nod.

"I.." You say, breathless as he tilts his head, smile still present on his lips. "What should I do?" You ask, as his eyes widen.

"You?" He wonders, before he stops for a moment. "Don't tell me- this is your first time?" He asks, now genuinely worried he might've gone too fast.

"No.." You admit. "But uhm.. no one's ever, like.. you know, what you're doing.." You say, and that's when it clicks for him.

What kind of guys did you date before him that never gave you any attention like this? He's upset by it, but also weirdly cheered on by that simple fact; it gives him even more reason to make sure you'll get the most out of it. "Ah, I see.." He humms out, letting another finger stretch your entrance for him. "..well, I'm not like that." He explains, before he moves, face now close to your center- and you're unsure what he's going to do. "Trust me." He says, mumbles out, before his tongue places itself flat onto your clit, licking painfully slow as you move your hands over your mouth, trying to keep your noises in. "nuh-uh baby." He scolds, free hand pulling yours away. "Let me hear you." He demands, before he places his mouth back where it was.

Your mind is completely blank at this moment, the only thing you can really concentrate on being Jungkook, working you up so quickly you feel dizzy. It's new, and it's a little weird- but it's more than anything you've ever experienced before. And it brings you towards your end so suddenly you suddenly gasp out, back arching off the mattress as you grab at the sheets below, one hand grasping for Jungkooks, who lets you ride out your high to its fullest. "So pretty." He comments after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, smiling at your blissed out state.

"Kook-" You say, moving as you sit up, less shy now that your brain is still clouded by pleasure.

"Ah- you don't have to." He tells you, but you shake your head, and he lets you. He slips out of his clothes, finally bare, and you would've taken time to look at all the different pieces of art decorating his body- if it wasn't for his cock, red and ready in front of you. Usually, you would've let your insecurities and doubts get the best of you. But this was Jungkook. And you wanted to really believe that nothing you would do could ever be judged by him. So there was no hesitation as your hands reached out for him, gently moving, before you took him in, your lips wrapping themselves around his tip, before you moved downwards, fitting as much as you comfortably could. Meanwhile, Jungkook himself was steadying himself with one hand on the mattress, while the other was buried into your hair, his own head thrown back as he closed his eyes.

Of course he had fantasized about this every now and then; but he had never thought you'd actually be comfortable doing it. And even if- nothing he could've imagined would've ever compared to the real deal happening. There was something absolutely mindblowing about the way that you handled him, your sweet and pretty presence looking so divine doing such a sinful act with him. He had to pull you off by your hair, gently, because any more, and he would've been a goner. "G-Good god baby." He chuckles, pushing you a bit so you were on your back again, reaching for his bedside table to search for a condom. "I swear to god if I- HAH!" He tells you in victory, hands making quick work of opening the foil package and wrapping the safety over his length. "I swear I would've run out butt naked to buy one if I wouldn't have found this." He says with a grin, making you laugh.

"That's weird." You comment, and he chuckles, entering you slowly as to not hurt you, his breathing labored as he still kept the lighthearted energy going.

"You think?" He asks, and you nod, giggling as your eyes close, the feeling of him filling you up too good to keep them open. "Hm no." He said breathlessly. "Would've probably put on some pants maybe." He says, before he starts thrusting. "Doesn't matter if it means I'd get to fuck you." He says, and you giggle again.

"Kook!" You scold him, and he still continues to thrust into you, exhaling forcefully as he kisses your neck.

"What?" He whines high pitched as if to imitate you.

"Be serious!" You tell him, but can't help your own smile either.

"Oh, why though?" He says. "We're making love, not war baby." He whispers into your ear, and you still laugh at it.

"I can't believe you!" You complain playfully, moaning out when he suddenly thrusts with more force, obscene noises now interrupting you two as he picks up his pace, clenching his jaw.

"And-" He starts. "I can't believe how fucking good you feel." He presses out, hand now reaching between the two of you as he brings you towards an earth-shattering orgasm, making you mewl as you can feel yourself bursting. "Good girl!" He praises, watching as you squirt all over him, his own orgasm hitting him soon after as he grunts out, finally slowing down until he stills completely, his mouth attached to your neck to place gentle kisses and teasing bites near your pulse point.

"I love you." He mumbles out, and your eyes sting.

Because yeah, you love him- you absolutely do, but hearing it from him, hearing it in such an honest and warm-hearted tone, having this final proof of his own feelings towards you, makes you emotional. "Baby, why're you crying?" He chuckles out of breath, wiping your tears as you smile, and finally look at him with glossy eyes.

"Cause I love you too." You say. "So much."

And he can't help but grin at you.

You really are the sweetest thing.

You watch as Hana walks out of Taehyungs studio, arm wrapped up in clear foil as she walks towards your counter, pulling out her purse. "Taehyung agreed on 345." She says, until Taehyung yells another number out of his studio, making her eyes roll. She wasn't supposed to come back- but Taehyung had agreed to finish her piece at least. "Alright, here you go." She says, watching as you counted the money. "Does Jungkook work today?" She asks, and you nod. "I'm just gonna go say hi then. You can finish the receipt yeah?" She says overly sweet, and you're about to tell her that Jungkook doesn't want anyone entering without his permission, but he's already walking out his studio, black sweater and silver necklaces on full display as he walks towards you. "Jungkookie!" Hana exclaims, but her face drops almost chomically as she watches Jungkook walk up behind you, placing a kiss on your bare shoulder as he looks over it onto your screen.

"Oh, looks like I'm done for the day. You need anything Hana?" He asks innocently, one hand on your desk while the other rests on your chair behind your back.

"I- just wanted to apologize for uhm.. the emails. I didn't know you'd read them." She says, and you slowly close all programs, while Jungkooks humms out something.

"Yeah, I figured." He says, before he shakes his head. "As I said, I'm letting it go. No hard feelings." He says, shrugging, before he walks towards his studio again, stopping in his tracks for a second. "Ah, baby, can you text Jin-Hyung and ask him if we can come now? I'm actually starving I swear." He says, and you nod with red cheeks, pulling out your phone.

"Huh." Comes from Hana, as she takes the receipt from you. "I honestly.. would've never thought." She mumbles, before she simply leaves, without any more words.

Yeah. You would've honestly never thought either.

(c)Bonny-Kookoo. Please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi.com/bonnykookoo. Thank you for reading.

#bts imagine #bts #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts fic #bts smut #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts reactions

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago

Text

ice lolly, m | ksj

pairing(s): seokjin x reader

summary: You (accidentally?) deep throat a popsicle in front of Min Yoongi. It's not what it looks like! Well, it kinda is, but you have a good reason! You just want to give your boyfriend, Kim Seokjin, a mind-blowing blowjob and you read some stuff online and, uh... okay, that still doesn't sound like a good reason, but I swear it is.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; established relationship; featuring seagull-BTS LOL; crack and fluff; smut (fem reader, m-receiving oral); ft Min Yoongi witnessing your, um, attempt XD; my tongue technology strikes again, maybe you'll learn something?

this is inspired by your hapless adventures, cat whiskers. you told me not to do it, but I'm a brat and I did it anyway LMAO get rekt

So.

You read this thing online.

What if you just...

"What are you doing?"

You started with a shriek, jamming the entire ice lolly right into the back of your throat, instantly choking and yanking it out of your mouth, only for it to be flung off the wooden stick and fly across the sidewalk, leaving a long, ice-blue streak of melting sugar syrup ending with a demolished hunk of discarded popsicle.

A seagull immediately appeared to peck at it.

You gawked, still clutching the wooden stick, Min Yoongi standing beside the bench you were sitting on.

"Why did you try to deep throat your popsicle?"

A second seagull arrived to peck at the icy hunk of sugar water.

Your mouth was still open, mechanically jerking to face him with fire-red cheeks, and it wasn’t because of the bright sunny weather. He looked very much like a disgruntled cat with his expression, black eyebrow raised, dark brown eyes narrowed, pink lips slightly pursed. Yoongi squinted disapprovingly from under his wide-brimmed straw hat. He wore a long-sleeved black shirt under a white t-shirt, breezy black trousers, and sandals.

Yoongi hated the sun.

A third seagull flapped down onto the boardwalk and joined the other two to poke at the rapidly melting mess on the ground.

"Um..."

He raised a hand dismissively, eyes flicking away from you. "On second thought, don't tell me. I don't want to know." Yoongi jammed his black clutch under his armpit and ripped open his own cold sweet treat, turning away from you to face the ocean.

A fourth seagull flocked over to peck one of them in the head and assist in devouring the ice pop.

"Hey, hyung, what flavor did you get?" a smooth baritone voice piped, appearing in an aqua-and-pink colorful shirt and brown shorts with snazzy sunglasses and tan skin.

You were staring at the four seagulls eating your ice lolly with glee, somewhat frozen yourself, feeling a mixture of jealous, mortified, and absolutely ready to chuck yourself into the ocean if Yoongi said anything to out you to Kim Taehyung right now.

"I don't know. I told them to pick one at random," the straw hat replied.

A fifth seagull appeared, slightly smaller than the rest, poking one in the neck and squawking before trying to prod at the puddle of blue syrup with a small chunk of ice in it.

"I got strawberry," Taehyung replied.

Two more seagulls swooped down, pushing the other five all around. All of them were now pecking at the ice-blue sugar syrup, honking and squawking. Like laughter. One of the seagulls had a weird cry, like a cloth rubbed onto wet glass.

Or a windshield wiper on a car window.

"Disgusting."

You narrowed your eyes at the seven seagulls.

We they... laughing at you?

"Strawberry-flavored things are the worst."

You jumped as someone sat down next to you, ripping open a paper package. He was wearing a short-sleeved pale pink dress shirt with a flashy tie and long blue shorts. A familiar someone dressed like this. He placed his backpack down next to you, smiling brilliantly. Full lips, sparkling brown eyes, milk chocolate-colored locks framing his handsome face.

Your boyfriend, Kim Seokjin.

"S-Seokjin!"

He grinned and leaned in, kissing you lightly. Then he became flustered and laughed awkwardly, a little squeaky, almost like a windshield wiper on a car window.

"Hah, sorry, you looked really cute just now."

You blinked rapidly.

Do you tell your boyfriend that you tried to deep throat your ice lolly in attempt to see if you could extend your tongue around the bottom because you read on a certain-website-not-to-be-named that it might be possible to suck dick and lick balls at the same time and you were determined to learn so you could perform said act?

And do you tell Seokjin that Min Yoongi caught you in the middle of it?

Er…

Seokjin cheerfully licked at his lemon ice pop, oblivious to your inner struggle.

"Where's yours? I thought you got one too?"

The seven seagulls cackled. You glared at them, ready to fight.

"Hyung."

Never mind, you paled to the color of rice paper as the deep voice with a little rasp to it appeared beside Seokjin, straw hat and all. You wished you could merge with your pastel floral summer dress and float off with the sea breeze, straight into the ocean after seeing the deadpan expression of Min Yoongi holding a mint green popsicle.

He looked bored, but his eyes were mocking you.

Asshole.

"She dropped it by accident."

"Ah, really?" Seokjin frowned, nudging you with his hand. "Here, have some of mine. I'll share with you." He wrapped his arm around you and patted your shoulder fondly, holding his ice lolly out to you. You felt your heart skip a little at his kindness and closeness.

Yoongi smirked behind Seokjin's head.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

The seven seagulls flapped off, flying above five guys standing near you three, eating icy sweet treats together on the boardwalk this sunny day, enjoying this nice retreat to the sea. A lone seagull popped out from behind a trashcan, trotting over, eyeing the wet spot of sugar syrup soaked into asphalt.

It slunk away in a back corner, dejected that there was nothing left.

"Come on, hurry before it melts."

You nibbled off a chunk. Mmm. Cold, lemony, and delicious. You smiled at Seokjin gratefully and he smiled back, warm and inviting, his cheeks puffing a little like the edges of raised bread. A little sheepish at the public display of affection, but unable to help it when he was with you.

"You might as well stick the whole thing in your mouth," Yoongi said off-handedly, walking away to the group of five guys, leaving you choking on the bench again as Seokjin rubbed your back soothingly, worriedly asking you what was wrong.

"YOU TRIED TO DEEP THROAT A POPSICLE?"

"Seokjinnie–"

"IN FRONT OF YOONGI?"

"Erm, it's not what it sounds like–"

"YOONGI???????"

“I swear it’s not what It sounds like!”

Seokjin yanked the towel off his head, half-dried brown hair sticking up every which way, gawping at you with a slack jaw and shocked brown eyes. He was wearing his emerald green silk pajamas, fresh after a nice shower from the hot day. You too, wore a set of pajamas, a matching outfit with Seokjin.

“It’s not what it sounds like?” he sputtered, flabbergasted, partly flabbered but mostly aghast.

You opened your mouth and closed it. Then you opened it again.

“Okay, it is what it sounds like, but–!”

Why did you bring this up now? Well, your boyfriend was asking you if you wanted to take some medicine and sleep early because you said you weren’t feeling well at dinner. He was a sweet bean and wanted the best for you, and the truth came out in mid-discussion. Seokjin and you had left earlier than everyone else, declining the scenic walk home, mostly because you could no longer stand Yoongi making snide remarks that meant nothing to anyone else except you.

“You might need a bit more force to suck up that thick milkshake. Or wait for it to melt.”

“That’s a pretty big piece of steak. Maybe you should cut it a bit smaller, so you don’t choke.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay for dessert? We could stop by the store and get you an ice lolly on our way home.”

You glared at him all evening.

Yoongi just smirked when Seokjin wasn’t looking.

Asshole.

“Why would you do that in public?” Seokjin was saying, yanking you back to reality and out of your daydreams of socking that smug little shit in the face. “Why would you do that at all?”

“G-Gah, it… it just… just occurred to me…”

“It occurred to you to suck an ice lolly like a dick?”

Seokjin looked as if he was going to pass out and divorce you at the same time and you weren’t even married yet.

“Why, because you’re going to suck frozen dick at some point in your life? Because my dick isn’t ever at subzero temperatures, so unless you’re sucking Mr. Freeze or Subzero’s dick–”

You waved your arms in a panicky manner, flapping your sleeves like a fucking seagull. “No, no, no, I read something online–”

“Oh, you read something online!” he exclaimed, wiggling in place, and now it sure as hell sounded like Kim Seokjin was mocking you while also being disappointed in you and if that wasn’t the most big dad energy you weren’t sure what was. “Yes, because that totally means you should perform fellatio on an ice pop in front of Yoongi of all fucking people! Are you trying to get bronchitis or something–”

“I admit it was a mistake!”

“A miss-take! It was a terrible take! Cut! Refilm! Actually, no, because maybe don’t try to give a blowjob to a fucking popsicle at the boardwalk in broad daylight!”

You smacked Seokjin in the chest and he looked highly offended, finally shutting up for one goddamn second so you could (poorly) explain your logic behind the incident.

“Look, Yoongi was not supposed to be there. At all. I got mine first and you all were deciding and arguing, so I decided to sit down and eat it, but then I noticed it was a specific length–”

Seokjin’s eyebrows rose so high they nearly left his face.

You prodded him in the pecs and he winced, pouting at you.

“So, I tried to put it in my mouth, but then Yoongi showed up and fucking spooked me and I jabbed myself in the throat because I was surprised and ended up rocket-launching my ice lolly across the sidewalk and then these fucking seagulls showed up, those bastards–”

“None of this explains why you tried to do it in the first place.”

“Uh…”

Your eyes shifted awkwardly.

Seokjin impatiently tapped his naked wrist that had no watch on it.

“I read it… in an online smut story I was reading…”

You perfectly handsome boyfriend might actually get a wrinkle if he continued to raise his eyebrows to the fucking moon. “You do what?”

You poked your index fingers together, biting your lip. “Because… I’m not very good at it… so I was thinking maybe I could learn some tips or something…”

“What?”

Now his voice was soft, immediately dropping the act and his anger. You saw him reach out and place his hand over yours, wrapping his fingers around tightly, tugging. You looked up and he tilted his head, brow knitted in worry.

“Hey,” Seokjin frowned, full lower lip sticking out. “What do you mean, you’re not good at it? You are. I like everything you do.”

You chewed on your lip anxiously. “But… but…” It was a stupid thought and, honestly, not that big of a deal, but it had been eating away at you for a while, so you just winced and let it out.

“You never finish with my mouth.”

Rapid blinking was his response. His eyebrows disappeared under his brown hair again.

“And it bothers me. You always finish with your hand into my mouth, but I can’t seem to do it by myself.”

Seokjin’s lips parted, looking apologetic. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

You wrung your hands, loosening his grip on you. “I don’t know, it seems weird to say in the moment and it’s embarrassing… I thought maybe I wasn’t good enough…”

“No, no,” he said gently, holding your shoulders and shaking his head. “I...” His ears turned bright red and he swallowed. “I just like… seeing it shoot out into your mouth.” He coughed awkwardly, squeezing your shoulders. “It’s, er, nice, watching my cum drip onto your tongue and lips…” Seokjin cleared his throat and smiled, cheeks puffing out, looking a bit like the sides of freshly baked bread. “I didn’t realize my selfishness was making you feel inadequate. That’s not it at all. I only wanted to make it easier on you, and, cough, it’s kind of hot…”

“O… oh.”

He patted your shoulder fondly. “It’s only a misunderstanding. We can do whatever you want next time, okay? I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I will do better.”

You nodded and smiled, feeling much more relieved about the whole thing. Seokjin always had the ability to help you let things go, and it always made you feel a little lighter. It was part of the past now and you wouldn’t be bothered if Yoongi teased you any longer, because you had the best boyfriend in the whole world. There was no need to feel embarrassed.

You wrapped your arms around Seokjin and gave him a big, fierce hug.

Only to be impaled in the lower stomach.

“Ow!”

“Ack!”

You jerked back, whipping your head down.

“No, no, no, stop! Stop looking!”

“Why are you hard?!”

Seokjin waved his arms and abruptly flapped his hands down on his massive tent. “We were talking about blowjobs! And you! What do you think is going to happen?” he spluttered, the red creeping from his ears to his cheeks now, matching the exact shades used on merchandise during Christmas time with emerald green pajamas and a red face.

You gawked at him and he gawked back.

Wait.

“This is a perfect chance!”

“No, no, no, it is not, cease and desist, woman! Everyone is coming back soo–Gah!”

There was flurry of movement and Seokjin’s pajama pants were flung off, along with his shirt, and you were pushing him down onto the bed, him panicking the entire time, but he couldn’t have been that mad about it, because he was helping you by backing up, yelping as you hooked your fingers over the waistband of his underwear and yanked down, freeing his erection that nearly slapped you in the face.

“You trying to take out my eyeball?” you teased, grinning.

“You assaulting me and you’re upset that I’m fighting back?” Seokjin retorted, trying to hide his smile and be serious, but he was terrible at that and so were you, both of you grinning like a pair of idiots.

Well, you were certainly a little bit of an idiot for trying to deep throat a – you’re right, we’ll let it go (for now).

“I learned some things,” you said excitedly, forcing his legs open abruptly and making him squeak.

“Things? Ack!”

You leaned down and lifted his hard length up delicately, licking a fat stripe from base to tip, sighing softly as you came into contact with the velvety skin and his clean scent, Seokjin gasping above you, but suddenly this was not about him, this was about the cock in front of you and all the information you had complied to this point, ready to apply your learning. You wrapped your lips around the head, swiping your tongue on the underside, and Seokjin groaned, hips twitching but you grabbed them and pressed them firmly to the bed, shooting him a glare.

“Don’t interrupt me,” you growled around his dick.

He gave you a helpless frown. “Hello, I’m still attached to this di–”

You stared at him and slid your tongue out from your lips, swirling it around his girth, pressing the sensitive tip around the contours of your mouth, his eyes widening as he witnessed spit dripping from the wet muscle.

“O… oh…”

You let your eyes drift over his form, slowly, slowly, savoring the lines of his body, broad shoulders, shapely collarbones, the curve downwards to his trim waist, all the while taking him your mouth, tongue and lips soft and mouth tight, breathing deeply, eyes flickering up to his face and his expanding pupils, watching you with awe.

“Holy shit… and you’re not even naked… o-oh, fuck…”

You cocked an eyebrow, probably looking much more confident than you actually felt, but that didn’t matter. Fake it till you make it, right? And besides, every protagonist in every story has a moment of letting go and having courage and this was your moment, inorganic or not, flexing your tongue against Seokjin’s ever stiffening length, his breathing turning into wispy moans, watching you poised over him with his dick in your mouth, still wearing the silk pajamas and yet.

He watched you with amazement, love and lust in his brown orbs.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Your ears burned hot and you tried not to choke on his dick in embarrassment.

Don’t ruin the moment!

Somehow you managed not to freak out and pressed your lips to the base of his cock, hitting his crotch, the uncomfortable feeling of too full expanding your throat, the head practically plugging your airway, but one glance at Seokjin and the suffocation was worth it, seeing him tip his head back, messy brown hair sliding past his forehead, groaning your name with his eyes closed.

You pulled back a little, took a breath, and went back down for the kill.

“What the fuck…?”

Lower lip opening, tongue stretching out, only able to move the tip a bit at the top of his balls. Hm. This wasn’t working. You adjusted and cupped a hand under them, lifting the two soft mounds and pressing them to your chin, your tongue swiping out over them, his dick bending a little in your mouth (more flexible and a lot warmer than an ice lolly, by the way), and Seokjin was losing it above you, shuddering and whining, a mix of curses and your name as you turned your head to get a different angle, the tip of his cock pushed to one side of your throat, determined to see what was most comfortable and got you the best reaction, saliva coating his balls and causing them to become more slippery. You furrowed your brows and gripped his balls tighter, smearing the slick liquid over the soft skin and Seokjin moaned obscenely loudly, falling onto the bed, back arching.

“Oooh, fuck, fuck, fuck…”

Abruptly, your throat spasmed, reminding you that needed to breathe, and you pulled back, coughing and panting slightly.

“Does that feel good?” you wheezed. Not the sexiest. You grimaced and cleared your throat, asking again. “Did that feel good for you?”

Seokjin tipped his head up, brown eyes glazed over, breathing hard. “Ah… It feels nice, but I don’t think I could finish with that…” Your frown deepened, but he shook his head, sending his brown hair floating everywhere. “It’s not tight enough. But it’s an insane turn on, so I think I could cum faster after…” He coughed, cheeks flushing. “After feeling and seeing it, you know?”

Your frown erased and you nodded, gently rubbing his soaked balls, seeing him shiver and his breathing shallow. “I think I understand, yeah.”

“Can… ah, can you finish me, p-please, ack, you k-keep – fuuuuuuuck…”

You went down again, but this time your focus was on the tightness of your mouth, tongue sliding from side to side, bobbing your head in a smooth, swift motion, keeping your lips soft, eyes closing as you felt his cock twitch inside your mouth, completely focused on the sensation of Seokjin in between your lips, breathing him in, the soft scent of fresh soap and his sweetness, trying to remember if there was anything you had forgotten.

Ah, yes!

You tipped your head back slightly and Seokjin cried out, heady and erotic, as the head of his cock dragged along the roof of your mouth before burying into your throat, over and over, hot saliva and a squirming tongue amplifying the sensation, realizing you needed to relax your throat but clench your mouth muscles while relaxing your lips and doing all this while keeping track of where his cock was going in your mouth so you didn’t accidentally choke on his dick.

A whole new level of multitasking.

Was the writer of that erotica you were reading some kind of sex god, because what the fuck–

But it didn’t matter, because even if it was sloppy and you couldn’t focus on all these things simultaneously, Seokjin was feeling only pleasure, fingers curling in the sheets, barely able to choke out his words through his moans.

“F-Faster, please…”

Faster? You could barely keep up as it was!

“Please…” he whined and you obeyed immediately, faster it was, because you were weak for him, weak for Kim Seokjin and his pleading face, pupils so blown out he seemed intoxicated, drunk on pleasure, and that made you aroused too, seeing your effect of him, tightening ever more and increasing the pace, the wet smacking sounds quickening, echoing in the bedroom with his lustful groans of your name, so sweet and loving that if you weren’t going to pass out from how fast you were going, you were surely going to pass out from the overwhelming adoration in his eyes. It made you push for a little bit more, push your limits a little harder, made you feel like you could do this.

For him.

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum, fuck!”

Seokjin gripped the sheets tight and threw his head back, chest expanding with a low moan, thrusting his hips up and cock jolting, shooting thick streams into your throat, and your eyes widened, forced to stop, feeling his cum pool, creamy and viscous, tasting the delicious saltiness at the base of your tongue, your eyelids fluttering a little at the feeling of the tip rutting against the roof of your mouth and more dribbling out, coating the inside of your mouth.

Oh.

Oooh, fuck, it felt good.

You swallowed, feeling victorious and insanely horny, tongue circling round and round his flinching stiffness, able to sense the pulse and his shudders, descending again because you couldn’t get enough, so good, the feeling of him still in your mouth, him shivering at your persistent licks and light sucks, stroking his hips and moaning at the skin to skin.

The front door banged open downstairs and there was a lot of laughing and shouting.

Your eyes snapped open and Seokjin looked back at you in sheer panic.

The footsteps up the stairs proved they were being taken two at a time.

“Shit.”

Never had Seokjin yanked his cock so fast out of your lips (sad) and snatched his underwear and pajamas, bolting to the bathroom and throwing himself in there in record time the literal second the bedroom door was yanked open by rambunctious strength and a grin whose front teeth were ever-so-slightly too large for his face.

“Hyung, noona!”

You were laying with your head in your hand and your elbow on the bed, which was probably too sexual and weird for Jeon Jungkook, but that was all you got that this moment. He gave you a slightly disturbed and confused look under his big black bucket hat.

“Where’s hyung?”

You coughed and lowered your hand, trying to get in a less awkward position. “B-bathroom…” you rasped. Oh no. Did you go too hard? You sounded a bit like the crypt keeper. Fortunately, you didn’t look like one, so there was that. You rubbed your throat, wincing at the soreness. You definitely went a bit rough. You weren’t no young spring chicken anymore. You were going to feel that in the morning.

Sacrifices had to be made.

Jungkook pouted, bounding up to you and tilting his head. He was a moving black fabric mountain with his long-sleeved shirt and billowy shorts. “Are you really sick, noona? Do you want hot tea or some milk?”

Oh my God, Jungkook, I just sucked some dick and that’s why I sound dead.

Don’t say that.

“I… I’ll be fine, Jungkook. Did you have a nice walk?”

“Oh, yeah! There were fireworks! I think the city was celebrating something, and it was so colorful and pretty…”

You sat there and nodded, trying to listen intently while trying not to think about how Seokjin was in the bathroom rinsing off his saliva and cum-covered dick literal meters from you and oblivious Jungkook.

You saw movement behind Jungkook’s excitedly bouncing head. No straw hat, just black hair flattened against his forehead, covering his cat-like, dark brown eyes.

Yoongi.

He smirked, holding up a box.

Frozen ice lollys, the fizzy soda flavor that was light blue.

A muscle in your eye twitched.

Asshole.

masterpost

#seokjin x reader #seokjin smut #bts smut #seokjin x you #jin x reader #jin x you #kim seokjin x you #kim seokjin x reader

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obeiii-mee · 4 years ago

Note

Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!

——————————-

This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)

——————————-

The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:

Lucifer:

-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived

-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable

-Not to mention all the treatment you would require

-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there

-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake

-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair

-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house

-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs

-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year

-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis

-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)

-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break

-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom

-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you

-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you

-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case

-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears

-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you

-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back

-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare

-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha

-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay

-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need

-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol

Mammon:

-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first

-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human

-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”

-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that

-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for

-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?

-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though

-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around

-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN

-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it

-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am

-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions

-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:

-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”

-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh

-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs

-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad

-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”

-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too

-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving

-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad

-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”

-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones

-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often

Levi:

-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom

-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year

-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot

-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often

-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you

-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him

-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”

-“The answer is no Leviathan.”

-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“

-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around

-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all

-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch

-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him

-Usually left out by other people, ignored even

-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself

-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking

-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’

-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)

-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !

-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven

-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans

-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being

-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure

-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol

-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it

-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-

-OK Levi, sit back down

-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything

-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room

-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe

Satan:

-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense

-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)

-He’s a smart boy, alright?

-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you

-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get

-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰🥰

-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way

-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)

-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help

-But in a subtle way...?

-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside

-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here

-He wants to know how your wheelchair works

-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before

-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself

-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like

-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon

-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain

-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish

-But when others purposefully try harming you?

-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage

-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings

-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything

-You’re strong and he knows this

-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you

-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing

Asmo:

-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life

-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way

-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time

-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around

-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual

-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get

-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go

-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously

-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you

-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together

-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”

-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes

-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room

-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day

-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times

-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not

-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life

-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries

-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career

-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)

-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(

Beel:

-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances

-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is

-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius

-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?

-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around

-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(

-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way

-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so

-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best

-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him

-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help

-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’

-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most

-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”

-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound

-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt

-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do

-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough

-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times

-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself

-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation

-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair

-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what

Belphie:

-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak

-It didn’t matter that you had a disability

-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him

-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first

-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs

-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all

-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby

-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer

-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you

-Do not let him push you around

-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls

-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off

-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that

-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole

-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him

-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not

-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer

-But he doesn’t care

-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there

-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD

-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over

-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”

-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”

-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often

-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house

-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌

———————————

Al~

#obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me imagines #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me satan #om #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #paraplegia #⭐️ requests #🕯 general #☂️ demon brothers

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xseaxwitchxkpop · 4 years ago

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Bad Body Image Day

Howdy! I've struggling lately with body image issues and figured I'd make a little comfort reaction for Ateez; I know this has been done to death, but I personally never tire of seeing it, especially because so many people have different ideas about how the members would react. Anyway, without further ado! Also there is more of a focus on a plussize!reader in this because I myself am plus size, but that is not to say that my thinner peeps can’t have insecurities!

Disclaimer: I, in no way, personally know any of the ateezers, so take this with a grain of salt -- or don’t, I’m not one to tell you what to do lol

---------------------------------

Hongjoong

I can see him being a little angry, ngl -- no one hurts his baby, not even his baby

he’d ask why you felt that way, if anything triggered it like clothing not fitting right, scrolling through social media too much, looking at yourself in the mirror a little too hard

he’d spend the night with you at your place and cover all the mirrors in your place (yes, even the bathroom) so you wouldn’t have to catch a glimpse of yourself accidentally

make it point to shower you in praise, reminding you that you are more than your body

would also make a point to compliment your body anyways, pointing out everything you hate and saying he loves them because the are a part of you and he has phenomenal taste in his partners, thank you very much

Seonghwa

this man is too perceptive to not notice your depressive mood

might want to take some pictures together with some cute cat filters, but he knows what’s wrong the moment you decline

turns his phone to do not disturb and pulls you into his lap

honestly is sad that you don’t see yourself the way he sees you: gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, and perfect

peppers your face with kisses in an effort to make your fell better but that just ends in you crying

he then just holds you and rubs your back in soothing motions, whispering assurances in your ear

Yunho

does literally everything in his power to cheer you up

pounces on you from behind and folds you over like a blanket

tickles you in your most ticklish spots and following that up with kisses

would definitely force you to watch your favorite comfort shows as you forces you yo sit on his lap or lay against his chest

he may even force you to focus on him and by that I mean he’d ask you to do his makeup and tell you to take your time with it (gives him an excuse to stare at you and love you and tell you all the things he loves about you without you running away or shutting him up)

Yeosang

if you don’t know how to skateboard or use roller skates/roller blades, etc., he’d take you on a walk with him; if you do know how to do any of those things, he’d take out his skateboard and you’d skate next to each other

he’s a very quiet person, so I suspect he’d catch you body checking in the mirror or fidgeting with your clothes more than usual or looking over your shoulder at social media at see you looking at “prettier” people

if you can fit into his hoodies, he’d give you one with the excuse that you “looked cold,” regardless of the weather; if you can’t, he’d give you a plushie that was wearing one of his beanies (sprayed with his cologne) to cuddle with or squeeze if you don’t feel like being touched or he’d grab the blanket from his bed and wrap the both of you in a giant burrito on the bed or couch if you don’t mind being touched

basically he’d give you something of his to remind you that he is here for you, he isn’t going anywhere, and you are the most beautiful person to him (he comes off as more “action” than “words” for his displays of love, but I could be wrong lol)

would probably also offer to perform a roasting session just for you about the other members or any other mutual friends the two of you had

may even draw hehetmon comic strips in cute situations to cheer you up a little

San

cuddle monster activated

this man’s love language, or one of his love languages, is very clearly physical affection, or skinship, so be prepared to not leave the couch or the bed

again, another observant member, so he caught you doing something like Yeosang did

another one to force you to watch your comfort movies or cartoons

the bed or couch or just be an absolute mess of blankets, plushies, and pillows to help you feel safe and loved

he’d have your favorite snacks on deck, but if you don’t feel like eating, that’s okay, too, he’d have your favorite drinks -- you can argue against food, but you’re not arguing against the drinks, he won’t allow you to forgo both, it’s one or the other lol

instead of you leaning on him, he’d lean on you

you would probably be on your side or something, but he would make sure he could use your tummy as a pillow and your thighs as stress balls

he’d be a sneaky bastard and try to sneak kisses on your insecure spots -- his level of success is dependent on how much you’re paying attention to whatever he’s doing and your determination to fight him

however will respect any boundaries you lay out to him, even if it disheartens him to some degree

Mingi

he’s an extremely empathetic person and probably really good at reading people, so he probably knows before you do on a conscious level

cute faces? you got it! ridiculous antics? of course! telling you fantastical stories he makes up on the spot? absolutely!

if he happens to be going to the studio that day, he brings you along so you don’t have to be alone with your thoughts if you’re not working that day

he would show you either the mixtape he’s working on (I know for a FACT that man is currently sitting on a fire mixtape or is at least working on one) and/or give you a sneak peek into what the music might be for the group’s next comeback

I can see him wanting to take a shower with you, nothing sexual

he’d want to bathe you to show you that he genuinely finds you gorgeous and is more than elated that you are his and his only

Wooyoung

he’d another whose love language is skinship, so definitely cuddles from this one as well

kisses on your face every five seconds with “I love you”s thrown in

would offer to cook your favorite dish or one of your comfort dishes

another one with antics up his sleeve

he’d tone down his usual teasing or even stop it completely because he loves you and doesn’t want to accidentally say something that would end up making you feel worse

would try to act all cute to make you smile (laughing would make him feel better because he knows than that you are felling better, even if it’s temporary)

might invite you to join him in brainstorming pranks to play on the other members

Jongho

“want me to break this apple?” // “no, Jongho, I will not be entertained by you breaking an apple for the millionth time.” // “yes, you will.” *breaks the apple*

“part of the fun of breaking the apple is you getting annoyed.”

he does this in good fun because he thinks your annoyance is genuinely funny to him

while he’s not too much into skinship, he’d be more than happy to give you all the hugs and cuddles in the world to make you feel better while he hums or softly sings to you

probably drags you to the convenience store or a restaurant and buys you food, even if you protest with whatever insecurities you’re feeling at that moment

he doesn’t take no for an answer because having a full tummy even if you don’t want said full tummy always feels good

soft, gentle forehead kisses while holding your face

will offer you piggy rides and will not take no for an answer -- he will argue with you and roll his eyes when you say “I’m too heavy” or something like that

#ateez #ateez reaction #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #mingi #san #wooyoung #jongho #plussize!reader #insecure!reader

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neon-junkie · 4 years ago

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Injury

Summary: Mando is injured, so you help patch him up. Whilst you’re busy helping him, you don’t realize your arm has been accidentally rubbing over his crotch this whole time. You’re not going to let the poor guy suffer even more, are you?

Pairing: Mando/Din x gn!Reader

Word Count: 2063

Rating: NSFW

Warnings: Mention of minor blood/gore. Mentions of stitching up a wound. Tags: Nsfw, Smut, Wounds. Handjobs, Teasing, Dirty talk, Dirty thoughts, Friends to lovers

Notes: I may do another chapter if anybody asks for it. Also, the beby is sleeping in his pod for the whole of this, you haven’t managed to lose him lol :p

You were so thankful it wasn't a face injury. So. So. Thankful. Mando had been so pedantic the last time he was injured. He would literally rather die than take off his helmet, and he almost did. But this time it was his waist, so he was willingly accepting your help.

Mando was lying down in the entrance of his ship, barely making it up the ramp as he squirmed about in pain. Whatever hurt him was gone, so at least you two weren't in any more danger. You quickly shut the ship's door before grabbing your medical kit and kneeling down beside him. He had already accepted your help without either of you two saying a word. You just opened the kit up and started working on him.

You unclipped his armor, placing it aside as you lifted his shirt. His injury was a large deep gash going from the middle of his rib, down to his bellybutton. It was enough to make anybody cry. You could hear him panting and hissing from under his helmet, keeping his head back as he tried not to watch you work away on him. You focused on disinfecting him, then spraying him and trying to stick his wound back together.

Mando hissed and whined under his helmet, keeping his head flat on the floor. His hands tensed and twitched, clenching into fists as you patched him back together.

You had no idea that this whole time you'd been lent over him, your arm had been lightly brushing over his crotch. It must have been small enough for you not to notice, but Mando's senses were heightened now he was in pain and had picked up on the small accidental contact.

As his wound got better, and he calmed down, you began to untense and subconsciously pay more attention to your surroundings. That's when you noticed your arm just accidentally rubbed over his crotch. For a split second, you wanted to apologize but realized how weird that'd sound, especially in this situation.

You brushed it off and continued to work. The end was getting near, and Mando already seemed a lot better. Thank the Maker for antibiotics. But it happened again. Oops. You couldn't help that the angle was weird, but shame on Mando for getting injured in a weird place and deciding to collapse on the floor rather than a table where you could help him without coming into unnecessary contact with him.

However. you noticed that he'd let out a really soft, really quiet moan within his hoard of hisses and gasps. It was a moan, wasn't it? As in a sexual moan? Hmm. There was no harm in just testing it out to see if Mando really was getting some kind of attention whilst you were simply trying to help him out. So you did it, you lightly brushed your arm over his crotch again whilst wiping up some blood that had dribbled down his side opposite to you.

And there it was again. Another soft moan; Slightly gaspy, clearly horny.

You knew this man must get no attention at all if something as small as that was starting to get him hard. And yes, his crotch did feel ever so slightly harder this time.

You were almost done with patching him up, and gosh did you feel bad for him. Poor guy devoting his whole life to the ways of the Mandalorians, to not have any physical attention and get beaten up on the daily. Poor bastard. Would he ever let you though? Would he allow you to see an intimate part of him? Maybe play around with him? Maybe let him fuck you? Surely he must be tired of always getting himself off? Could he really deny someone in his time of need?

So you rubbed against him again, but this time slightly harder and you kept your arm there. It was lightly held over his semi-hard crotch, and he was surely aware of the contact.

Mando seemed to freeze, still hissing and whining a bit, but his body had tensed up and he was clearly trying not to move, despite the urge to squirm in pain. You could see his gloved hand trying to grip onto the floor. He must have thought you hadn't noticed. He must think this was clearly accidental and you were innocently trying to help heal him whilst he was beginning to get off on the small contact.

"I'm almost done," you tell him, taking your time to clean up the wound and its surrounding area.

That's when you felt him ever so slightly rut up against you, giving his hips a roll to lightly grind against your arm. You didn't react, pretending like you didn't know.

You pressed down on his wound ever so slightly too hard, completely accidental, which made him hiss and instinctively grab your thigh.

"Sorry.." he said instantly, moving his hand off you and placing it back on the floor. "It's alright," you reply. "Natural reaction," you say as you continue cleaning him up, totally not subtly talking about his obvious bulge.

You brushed your arm over him again, and this time it was obvious that you were aware of his hard-on. Mando's sigh this time came from behind gritted teeth, trying not to let it slip out. You stuck a large bandaid over his chest after wiping all the blood away.

"Done," you tell him, sitting up on your knees and looking down at him. "Thank you," he replies. You pause for a second, seeing if he'll follow up with anything. He didn't. "Is there anything else you need help with?" you ask him. Mando looked up at you. If his helmet was off, you were sure he would be looking both confused, scared, and aroused. "Uh.." "Anything?" you ask again whilst batting your eyelashes. Mando was definitely a shy one. "I.. Erm.." you heard him stutter. "Your wound wasn't that hard to fix," you flirt as you forwardly rub your hand over his very obvious hard-on.

Mando's head dropped back and you felt his hips push upwards against you. "I didn't mean to.. I can't help it," he apologizes. You watch his hands repeatedly clench open and closed. "Like I said earlier, natural reaction." "Your arm kept accidentally brushing over me and I jus- wait. You knew?" he cuts off, looking up at you again. "I didn't at first, but I picked up on it eventually, so I carried on." "You tease! Coming onto me when I'm injured!" he sighs as you brush over him again. "I can stop?" you half-ask, half-threaten. "No! No. Uh. I like it," he almost cuts you off, shying away at the end of his response. "Hm, I'm sure you'll like what I'm gonna do to you," you tease. "Mhm? Go on."

After giving his bulge a press, you reach down to unzip his pants, leaning forward on your knees. Almost instantly, his solid length flops out of his unzipped pants. You couldn't help but smirk; you knew he'd be big. He was a good few inches in length, not too big to the point it'd hurt, but not small, and my gosh was he thick.

You reached forward and took him in your hand. Taking your time, you slowly pumped up and down his shaft, realizing just how big this Mandalorian was. You could hear Mando breathing heavily. He went to prop himself up on his elbows to watch but gasped at the pain. You shooed him back down and told him to just enjoy the ride.

Feeling like you'd teased him enough with your long, slow thrusts, you pick up the pace, enjoying the way his body reacted. He was clearly trying not to over-react, his body going tense. One of his hands came up to grip at his shirt, his moans getting louder through the drone of his helmet.

You would give anything to take that stupid thing off and see his face. To watch how he reacted to every little move you pulled. To maybe even make direct eye contact with him as you climbed on top and rode him.

"I should get injured more often," he says, head still looking upwards, spare hand sprawled out on the floor. "And whys that?" you ask, acting oblivious to the reason. "If it means I'll get attention like this, then I'll allow myself to get injured any day." "No, Mando. I don't want you getting anymore hurt." "Hmh," he grunts.

You knew he was somewhat sulking right now, so you decided to prop yourself up on your free elbow, and dip your head down to gently suck at his balls whilst you continued to toss him off. Slowly sucking the one, then moving to the other, somewhat struggling to find them as they were fiddly to get a grip of. Mando choked on a moan as he felt the wetness of your tongue press against him. He reached one of his hands forward to grip comfortably at your thigh, giving it a squeeze every time you switched from one ball to the other.

"Let me fuck you," Mando sighs in possibly the sexiest tone you've ever heard, despite the drone of his helmet. "I can't let you do that," you flirtingly reply. "Yes, you can." "You'll end up ripping your stitches!" "Just ride me then?" "No, Mando," you begrudgingly reply. "You'll hurt yourself even more. Just wait until you're healed, then you can fuck me as much as you want." Mando moaned at your response, bucking up into your hand and rolling his head backward. You were sure if he wasn't so polite, he'd be asking you for a blowjob right now, but the stiffness of his cock suggested he wasn't going to last very long anyway.

"So, are you going to cum for me?" you politely ask him, your lips still pressed against his balls. "Oh, stars. Yes. Oh, I will," Mando sighs as he grips onto his shirt harder. Mando looked upwards at just the right time, to see you licking a long, slow line up the base of his shaft. "Fuck," was all he managed to choke out before cumming over his stomach, closely missing his patched-up wound. You milked him for all he was worth, continuing to pump his shaft a few times as he rode his high. He gripped hard onto your thigh, his hips bucking upwards uncontrollably as he sighed and panted.

"Shit." Was all Mando managed to say. You took a cloth out from your medical kit and wiped him down, tucking him away and also checking on his wound to make sure he hadn't ruined all your hard work. You weren't surprised he didn't last long; Poor guy probably only found time every now and again to sort himself out.

Mando's hand stayed on your thigh, softly keeping hold of you as he watched you clean him up. He thanked you, before slowly sitting up, his hand lightly clutching onto his wound for support. "Sleep," you softly ordered him, offering a hand as you stood up. He accepted, letting you slowly pull him up before helping him over to his pit of a bed.

"I'll drive, you rest," you told him as you sat him down, his legs off the edge. "Yes, of course," he sarcastically replied. For once, he wasn't being stubborn. You turned to walk away, but his other hand quickly reached out and took hold of yours, pulling you back over. The two of you paused, looking at each other. "Thank you," he finally said. You smiled. Your other hand slowly came up to cup his helmet, resting exactly where his cheek would be. "Don't mention it," you replied, then eventually turned and made your way to the cockpit.

Mando shuffled back into his bed, closing the door from the inside. For once, he felt safe. He slowly took off his helmet, placing it beside him as he laid down. His hands came up to brush his scruffy brunette hair that had stuck to his forehead, feeling like his skin could breathe for once. Mando took a few deep breathes, taking his time to process everything, to process you. 'I'm lucky to have them,' was his main thought.

He finally gave in to the heaviness of his eyes, and went to sleep.

#swwriting #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fanfic #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian writing #the mandalorian/you #the mandalorian/reader #mando x you #mando x reader #mando/you #mando/reader #din djarin x you #din djarin x reader #din djarin/you #din djarin/reader #gn!reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader

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purplesurveys · 3 years ago

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1266

Retaking this survey I took nearly exactly a year ago, which would be around the time of one of the lowest points in my life. A lot has changed and I’m *so much* happier these days, but it doesn’t hurt to revisit and acknowledge the emotions I went through then.

Are you afraid of lifts? 2020: I only feel afraid if I’m the only person riding the elevator. If I ever got locked inside I’d always feel a lot better if there’s at least one other person stuck with me. Otherwise I try not to be too bothered by lifts. 2021: Yeah, as much as possible I would still only get in if someone else was also planning to get in; elevators that are also visibly old and unmaintained tend to scare me away, too. But generally, riding the elevator isn’t a phobia of mine.

Who did you last talk to in person? Is that person attractive? 2020: That would be my mom and yes, I think she’s very attractive. Not in that way of course, but you know what I mean. She looks very young for her age and we always get mistaken as sisters. 2021: My dad. Sure, I think he looks okay.

Have you ever had a deep, personal conversation with a stranger? 2020: As much as possible I don’t like having deep conversations with someone I barely know, but sometimes I can’t escape the situation and I end up being a part of those talks. The nicest conversation I had was with a client during my first internship – he has his own company now, but over breakfast he told me about his struggles, his old unfulfilling 9-5 job, and gave me so much valuable life advice. He was so genuine and so nice and at that time I stopped minding the fact that he was a stranger and I’d most likely never encounter him again. 2021: Ooh I remember that. Yeah, he was lovely to talk to and I definitely have not encountered anyone with stories like his ever since. Anyway, I’ve grown to be a lot more extroverted over the past year so I certainly wouldn’t mind a conversation with a stranger, as long as they haven’t established themselves as a creep or pervert.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your own appearance? Why? 2020: Probably an 8. I don’t have a problem with my physical features for the most part, but I don’t like my front teeth and that my body hair is thicker and grows more quickly than average. Those are the two things that mess with my self-esteem the most, and the two factors that took out the missing two points. 2021: 9. I still have the same points for self-esteem issues; but I’ve embraced them slightly more over the last year.

Who was the last person to send you a message on Facebook? When was the last time you saw that person? 2020: Rita. I probably saw her sometime in early March. Maybe during a board meeting for our org before the lockdown was implemented. 2021: Angela. Sometime mid-July, I think? when we went to the BTS pop-up store together with Reena and Hans. I might see her again next week for her birthday. I have to see her reaction when she opens up the present I plan to get her.

If you decided, at this moment in time, that you were going to make a sandwich, what would you put on it? 2020: Assuming my hypothetical pantry is full, I would go for a southern-style chicken sandwich with chicken breast and spicy mayo. My stomach just rumbled, what have you doneeeeee 2021: Holy shit that sounds so fucking good right now. Can I just steal my own answer? Spicy crunchy chicken sandwiches are the shit.

Are you good at controlling your emotions, or do you tend to let them get the better of you? 2020: It’s 50/50 at best. Sometimes I let self-control win since it’s usually the most responsible choice and it’s also to avoid drama, but there are days where I recognize that self-care is just as important and so I allow myself a healthy release whether the release is one of sadness or resentment or anything else. Repressing my emotions and letting them bubble up over time isn’t healthy, either. 2021: I’m a lot better at it now. I think I have done a lot of growing and maturing and processing over the last year, and I don’t get into dramatic outbursts nor repress my feelings too much anymore. Whenever I feel deeply I let the emotions stay, but I also know when I need to reach out and seek help.

At this moment in time, what do you want the most? 2020: Normalcy. 2021: At this moment in time, I wish I could go back to when I took this survey and reassure the me then that everything was going to turn out absolutely fine. But right now I wish I also had sushi.

How many times have you cried over the person you love/like? 2020: Too many. 2021: I don’t love anyone in that sense.

How exactly are you feeling right now? Why do you feel the way you do? 2020: I haven’t been feeling anything in particular these days. To be honest, I’ve just been doing a lot of…floating around, existing, trying to make it to the end of the day unscathed. I believe I’m feeling this way because there’ve been a lot of major life changes happening and I simply wasn’t prepared to deal with all of them simultaneously. 2021: Jesus Christ that was brutal to read. How the fuck did I...manage? Anyway, right nooooow I feel quite content because a new episode of Run BTS came out and I really enjoyed it!! I also feel cozy because it’s actually quite cold tonight, so it’s making me feel sleepy faster than I would like lol. What’s the relationship status of the last person that put their arms around you? 2020: She’s been married for the last 23 years to my dad. 2021: He’s been married for the last 24 years to my mom.

Has the last person you held hands with, ever told you that they love you? 2020: Yeah. 2021: ^ Gross. But yeah to answer this question in 2021 – yes she has, in a platonic, sisterly way. We say it all the time.

Is there someone you used to hang out with all the time, and now you don’t anymore? If so, do you ever miss that person? Why do you think your relationship changed? 2020: Sure, Sofie’s the first person I thought of because we used to be the best of friends. We simply grew apart when college started, since she studied in Manila and I was all the way in another city. It would’ve been too difficult to keep up the friendship with both of us also starting to have different goals and priorities, as well as new friends. I miss her sometimes, but I’m not desperate to see her anytime soon. I’m sad to see our relationship fizzle out the way it did, but we’re both pretty happy and have been doing well and that’s enough for me. 2021: I stopped hanging out with Aya because she is an abusive piece of shit, and I obviously value my friendship with Jo far more than tolerating an abuser and keeping them around in my life. As for missing her, no, not really. I’ve always found it easy to cut people off and wipe out the positive sentiments I would use to have about a person.

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘H’? What color are that person’s eyes? 2020: I don’t know a lot of H people so it was probably Hannah even though I haven’t talked to her in a while. Her eyes are dark brown/black, like nearly every Filipino. 2021: Hans. Same, dark brown/black.

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘M’? How did you meet that person? 2020: OMG this was so tough to think about. The only person I can think of is Angela but that’s only because her first name is actually Maria. We met on the first day of 1st grade, back in 2005. I accidentally stabbed her with a newly-sharpened pencil and made her palm bleed, and for some insane reason a lifelong friendship was established that day. 2021: Macky. He’s a coworker but is a couple of positions above me. At first I took issue with my workplace not using honorifics, but when I learned it was a tactic to get everyone comfortable with one another, I soon got used to it.

The person you love/like is offered a job in another country. Would you let them go, or try and convince them to stay? 2020: Let them, because that was what we agreed on. 2021: No matter my feelings towards the situation, I would never interfere and ask them to stay.

Is there anyone you dislike so much, that you actually can’t stand to be around them? 2020: Back in college I hated being anywhere near a frat guy. They all had the same vibe, had the same fashion sense, used the same slang, had the same shitty work ethic so I always knew whenever one was nearby. 2021: One of my uncles, who I believe has COVID literally right now because he refused to get a vaccine. Can’t say I feel awful.

When was the last time you wanted to cry, but didn’t, because you didn’t want to show that you were upset? Why? 2020: I’ve been hiding my emotions and my tears from my family the whole month because we’re not a showy family when it comes to our feelings. We deal with our emotions privately, in our own bedrooms. 2021: Like two weeks ago when my teacher in my Korean classes shared a song recommendation with us and it turned out to be this really emotional, introspective song about dealing with life anxieties. It was beautifully sung and I nearly cried, and the only reason I didn’t was because I was in a virtual class full of strangers and I wasn’t about to start bawling my eyes out in such a situation lol.

If you found out that someone had been talking about you behind your back, would you confront them? 2020: I probably only would if they’ve always been super nice to me to my face but talking shit about me if I’m not around. It would be something I’d want to get into the bottom of. 2021: Depends on who the person is and if I think they’re worth my energy or not.

Which do you think is worse - saying something and then wishing you hadn’t, or not saying something and wishing you had? 2020: I hate nothing more than being too afraid to say something and then never having the space to say it again. That’s the type of regret that stays with me and keeps me up at night. 2021: I still go with the latter.

Do you know anyone who seems almost incapable of showing their emotions? 2020: I wouldn’t say I know anyone exactly like this, but I know of people who have built a great big wall around themselves and are super defensive when it comes to their emotions in a way that you’ll never know if they’re going through something. The first person I thought of was JM. 2021: My dad is extremely unexpressive. I guess I can say I kinda get it - he has to keep up his image as the father of the house and all - but I hope he has his own, healthy ways of processing his emotions, even if they have to be done in private.

What are 3 things that are guaranteed to make you smile, or put you in a good mood? 2020: Good Mythical Morning, seeing my orgmates, and driving. Driving seems to put me in a really good mood these days, though that’s likely because I haven’t had to do it as often as I used to. 2021: BTS, my dogs, and talking to Angela and Reena.

Do you look more like your mum or your dad? 2020: I’m a carbon copy of my mom, I’ve been told more times than I can count. 2021: Well yeah, that hasn’t changed.

When was the last time you saw your grandparents? 2020: I last saw my paternal grandparents in February; with my maternal grandma, two Thursdays ago. I have not seen my maternal grandpa since June or July 2015. 2021: Start of August for my maternal grandma; and I believe it was June when we most recently visited my dad’s parents. I visited my maternal grandpa at his columbarium slot during his birthday last year.

Have you ever felt really attracted to someone, but been deterred because you found out they didn’t have a very nice personality? 2020: No. If I get attracted to someone, that means I’ve already decided that they’re attractive on all fronts, including their attitudes and personality. 2021: ^ That is such a damn lie lmao. I remember getting attracted to this boy Lance from high school and thinking he was so cute and that I should probably try my chances with him...but I immediately got turned off when I noticed how he was slightly immature for his age and I stopped pursuing him immediately.

Have you ever hugged/kissed someone you’d only just met? 2020: Probably when I was out drinking, yes. 2021: ^ That’s true but that only goes for hugging.

Where is the person you would most like to see/be with? 2020: There is no such person. 2021: All my friends and best friends are at home. At least they should be at this hour, lmao.

When was the last time you bought a CD/DVD? Which one was it? 2020: The last CD I bought was Beyoncé’s self-titled album, but I can’t remember if I bought it in late 2013 or early 2014. 2021: ^ 2020-me had no idea :’) Anyway, the last DVD I placed an order for was Map of the Soul ON:E, though I’m not getting that until October. The last thing I was able to successfully receive was my Butter CD set.

Have you ever gone against someone’s advice and then regretted it? 2020: I don’t usually ask my friends for advice since I don’t want to possibly be the jerk that asks for advice but goes against them. I’ve always just gone with whatever I think is best for myself. 2021: I guess I’m still the same as I found myself agreeing to those two sentences.

Would you ever apologize for something that wasn’t your fault? 2020: Welcome to my life. 2021: Before, I used to. I won’t let shit like that pass now.

What’s been the best thing about your day so far? 2020: I’ve done a good share of self-care activities today…I actually got up in bed and have been taking surveys, I ate a lot for breakfast, I took a shower, and fixed myself a cup of coffee. The bar has been set very low since August obviously, but considering I’ve been skipping out on a great deal of activities that used to make me happy, I’m just glad I accomplished several today. It’s the little joys, guys. 2021: Getting good feedback from my boss on a deck I had to work on all day today. Also the new episode of Run BTS, aka my favorite thing about Tuesdays.

Has anyone ever cried in your arms before? 2020: I can only recall one person who’s done this. 2021: Sure.

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘C’? Is that person older or younger than you? 2020: Tina, but her full name is Christina so she counts. I keep forgetting she’s a year older than me. 2021: Coco. Yeah, I believe so.

Do you keep a lot of things from your parents? 2020: Yes. They know my good side - my awards, achievements, job prospects, all the shiny stuff they can be proud of. They don’t need to know how mentally fucked their firstborn actually is, because it’s not like they’d know how to deal with all that weight. 2021: Yes.

Who was the last person you confided in? Do you regret it? 2020: Angela. Not at all. She’s been my rock for the last 15 years. 2021: Andi, and no. I trust them with my whole life and then some.

What was the last film you watched, that you hadn’t seen before? What kind of film was it? What did you think of it? 2020: I’m Thinking of Ending Things is a psychological thriller. It’s not for the faint of heart, especially those who’ve been feeling depressed and/or existential lately. It certainly didn’t make me feel good and I wish I could unwatch it, not because it was bad but because it was a bit too triggering. 2021: Be With You; it’s a Korean film that’s mostly romance but with a super super slight tinge of fantasy if you squint your eyes hard enough. I loved it a lot; both the leads are sooooooooo pretty to look at and the kid is a fantastic actor. I also cried a lot, but I do think the ending could’ve been executed better as it felt rushed.

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you hugged/kissed? 2020: Lots. 2021: Nothing more than extremely petty fights, the last of which we had approximately 12 years ago.

Using one word only, describe the day you’ve had so far. 2020: Lonely. 2021: Routine.

#survey #surveys

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justkindaoverhereobsessing · 4 years ago

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2020 IN WRITING

tagged by: @indestinatus

tagging: no one, because I am unable to think straight. But whoever is interested in doing this: I’m interested in reading it. <3

Wow, okay, I’m getting real in this little questionnaire... read at your own risk, friends.

1. List of works published this year:

I genuinely can’t write them all out here... there are too many of them! (I’ve done so little besides writing this year!) But I keep a running list of all my projects here. I’m sorry for cheating on this one, haha.

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

This question comes up a lot on these things, and I always put the same answer: That We May Forgive. It’s has emotional moments, silly moments, heartfelt moments where the warmth made me cry as I wrote. It was written in one sitting, and it’s the story where I felt most connected to the characters I love so much. It sums up the joy I feel knowing that these (fictional) friends of mine have finally reached peace after too many years of trauma and hardship. I began the story with a single line in mind, after which the characters took over and told the story for me:

Ziva's second pregnancy is nothing like her first.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

You Stumble, You Soar, which was written for one of my dearest friends in the world, @why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee. I wanted to do so much better by her, but as I ran out of time to complete the story by the end of her birthday, I rushed the writing and I think the story suffered for it. It made her happy, though, and that’s the most important thing. She deserves all the happiness, all the time—but especially on her birthday.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I can’t think of a favorite excerpt of my writing, because I’ve written so much that I can’t think back!

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

“Wow. Let me just tell you that I am absolutely in love with this story. I wake up everyday and, as I log into fanfiction, my only hope is that you've uploaded a new chapter because DAMN. The characters are so well written, the story is beautifully constructed and this last chapter just broke my heart into tiny little pieces. What a remarkable job you've done. Please, don't ever stop writing NCIS/Tiva fanfiction- specially this one story: it's one of my all time favorites. Thank you :)”

An incredibly kind and inspiring comment by a reader named Alexandra on my longest (WIP) fic, We Are an Ocean.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I’ve had two periods of NCIS hiatus this year—and actually, I’m still in the midst of the second one right now. These have periods of turmoil in my own life. When I’m upset, feeling sick, feeling sorry for myself and I’m depressed and aching... that’s when I write the best, because writing is my safety blanket. When I’m feeling numb, though, or lost... the characters are lost to me, too, and so are the words I use to wrap them (and myself) in comfort.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I’m going to deviate here from NCIS, which is—I’m well aware—why most of my followers have chosen to follow me. But in the last month, I’ve written a single fic for Criminal Minds—it’s called In Possibility, it’s unpublished, and it’s now over 100,00 words. It’s centered on Spencer Reid, who was intimidating to me when I started writing the fic. He’s far more intelligent than I am, requiring me to do a lot of research to give him realistic lines, he’s a deep and complicated character with complicated motivations and a tangled, traumatic past. He also has a sweet, really good heart that’s been scarred by years of difficult work and an emotionally taxing personal life.

I thought he’d be difficult to write; to my surprise, he comes as naturally to me as any of my other favorite characters ever have. He gave me my first nanowrimo win! To be frank, he’s gotten me through a lot of shit this year. That was the best surprise.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

To be honest, I wasn’t much of a writer before this year. I enjoyed writing, especially in a roleplay setting with fandom friends... but I deeply struggled with trying to write alone. I didn’t do much of it.

Then, this year, well... the concept of writing exploded into the most important distraction, escape, and joy I could imagine.

I didn’t grow as a writer this year. I became a writer this year.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

My most recent project—the one that, as I’ve said, is (and will remain) unpublished—has given me a new perspective. It’s written for an audience of me and only me... so I’ve given myself permission to engage in the most ridiculously self-indulgent writing I’ve ever embraced and thrown myself into.

And it has been the greatest joy I could imagine in a time of great pain.*

Next year, I want to throw myself into every project I work on with as much reckless abandon as I’ve done in this last project. I want to stop worrying so much about what people will think and pursue the words that are bursting out of the fingers on my laptop keyboard. I want to have confidence in my ability to draw out emotions—if from no one else, at least from myself.

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” —Emily Dickinson

And it’s alright if that one heart is mine.

That’s what I want to accomplish in my writing next year, and what a growth that would be!

* I’ve mentioned this in my last post, but I’m recovering from brain surgery, I also have the COVID-19 virus, and I’m working on passing a kidney stone that may be too big to pass. I’m writing 10,000 words a day to get through it—and it’s working. Distraction is everything to me right now.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Like Sof, I have to tag three people here, because I really couldn’t choose just one. My three best friends in the world all influenced my writing in their own ways! <3 (Sorry for deviating a little from the writing thing in some of the following lines, oops. I just have emotions that are all over the place this week!)

@indestinatus — One of a few best friends who has had my back every day for so long now. She listens when I need to talk things out—whether or not I’m talking about writing. She really gets me when I need to be silly, or I need to be serious, or I just really, really need a friend. Also, she inspired me to start learning Portuguese this year, and I’m actually practicing by writing a fic in Portuguese, lol. It’s slow going... but Sof encourages me (and corrects me, haha) whenever I work on it, just as she does with absolutely anything else I work on. Truly, I’ve had few friends in my life that are so special to me, and I love her. I really do.

@why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee — Is there a better cheerleader on this earth? Is there a better friend? Doubtful on both counts. She thinks I’m a disaster—and, by the way, she’s absolutely right—and she sometimes has to remind me to eat and sleep, but she’s totally cool with being my internet mom. Doesn’t matter that she’s nearly a decade younger than I am, lol. All of these things have bolstered me when the writer inside of me has faltered, and she has carried my burdens as I wrote them out. Anyway, she reads everything I write, and she has requested to gain access to all of my unfinished chapters and unpublished works in the event that I die—I completely trust her with that nonsense. I’ve written it into my will. Really. Like with Sof, I genuinely love Tiz, and I’d do anything for her.

@honeybadgerdocare — Best friend of 20 years. She doesn’t watch the same shows that I do, and my endless ranting makes very little sense to her... but she listens. She’s my sounding board for everything I write, everything I read, everything I watch, and everything that gives me big feelings. I genuinely can’t describe how much she has helped me with my writing every single day, so I’ll leave it at this: I could not do it without her. I’d drown in my own struggles and I’d stop creating the art that sustains me. She’s my soulmate—sorry to her fiancé. All of my love goes to her!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

HAHAHAHAHA it’s cute how you think my writing is anything other than a re-organized and fictionalized version of my life and my feelings. Real life shows up in my writing, and my writing shows up in my real life. It gets crazy and obsessive, but like... I had a trip to Israel booked this year (obviously canceled due to the pandemic, but still) because Ziva comes from Israel. (Also because of my Jewish adoration for the spiritual homeland, but the thought of going and the trip planning all started with Ziva.) I went to Baltimore so I could run down an alley yelling “YOU CAN’T OUTRUN ME, I’M WEARING TUBE SOCKS!” to encourage my inner Tony DiNozzo. I nearly froze to death in Washington, D.C. and called my mom every time I saw a little red mini coop that looked like Ziva’s, or came across a place that was featured in an NCIS scene.

And to answer the actual question here, because I obviously flipped it around like the moron I am... when the pandemic canceled things I was desperately looking forward to, I wrote a fic where Tali’s excitedly anticipated dance recital got canceled because of the pandemic. I lost my appendix (last year, but the fic was written this year — does that count?) and wrote a fic where Tali loses hers, too. (I swear, I don’t always write things that torture Tali, lol, these are just my best examples!) When I lost a couple of loved ones this year, I wrote a funeral scene where Tony and Tali remembered Ziva. Writing is definitely free therapy, y’all.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for yourself—write what you love, and you’ll love what you write. That’s all. That’s it. That’s my advice, something I’ve learned this year.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’ve been working on We Are an Ocean for roughly a year now, and 2021 needs to see it finished. I’ve got a number of lovely, dedicated readers who deserve to see the story play out as it’s intended to be played out.

Also, my greatest love right now, In Possibility, will probably write itself to an end in 2021. Or... who knows? Maybe it will worm its way into 2022, too. :-)

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Since I already went into detail about my favorite fic of mine from this year (That We May Forgive), I’ll recommend a different one: The Stars Always Make Me Laugh. It has some of the darkest moments I’ve ever written, but it also has some of the lightest moments I’ve ever written. It was an answer to two different challenges, and if I can say this without sounding arrogant, I think I met the challenges beautifully. It gave me comfort, catharsis, and closure for a few things in my own life... and I hope it comforts my readers, too.

15. Year word count:

HOLY FUCKING SHIT (excuse my French). I just added up my AO3 word count + my current unpublished project, and... my word count is:

428,557.

FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN WORDS

I nearly just fell out of my chair. Goodbye, friends. I am deceased.

#wow wow wow #i'm so sorry for the aggressive feelings here #did not mean to get that effin detailed about my life #but i can't help that my emotions are wildly fluctuating as I fight so many health issues at once #anyway #still on hiatus but #this questionnaire thing soothed my soul #and i enjoyed doing it #thanks for the tag sof!#love you all #about cynthia #personal

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years ago

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Man, I love the Choi twins so freaking much, but when I truly imagine myself in the MC's place, I can't help but question my ability to handle some of the things they go through, especially in Saeran's route. I have ADHD, and from that RSD, which is basically when my brain goes, "Even if it wasn't actual criticism/rejection, here come the tears anyway!"

I honestly think I do a very good job and turning my ADHD into something positive; I make jokes out of the quirks that it comes with, and sometimes I don't even have to try, because things like bursts of rapid-fire questions only for me to answer them myself all within one breath tends to elicit laughter on its own.

But RSD, my emotional sensitivity, I hate it so much. I hate it; I hate crying in front of others. I don't even like it much on my own. I don't care how much people say my feelings are "valid" because sometimes they aren't! Sometimes it's really a stupid thing and yet the tears come anyways even though I don't deserve to cry over that, I don't need to, it's not something to cry over.

...I don't work well under pressure. Under time limits. I freeze up, my brain goes blank. I literally cannot think well until I'm calm, and staying calm can be very difficult. I just... I'm not sure I'd be good enough, strong enough, for either routes, and I know it's not really a big deal, but I can't help but feel a little... disappointed in myself.

I have a better chance in Saeyoung's route; my determination to help him, my stubbornness, could be enough for me to pull through, but I'd probably be so damn hesitant and nervous after his cold demeanor sticks around. Even a quiet, level, but cold, statement such as, "We can't even be friends" would probably bring the tears and UGH I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

Saeran... that's a special case. And, again, I know it's not a real situation, but I can't help but think about it, and I'm sorry I'm ranting like this, but it just kinda got to me and I needed to write this out kind of in depth. Thank you for reading this far...

Due to a friendship in my past -- my first best friend -- I think I would struggle with him a little. Not so much during his route, although the ADHD and RSD would make that difficult, too. Man... I wouldn't give in, not at all, but you can bet 100% that I would cry at least a little every damn time Suit Saeran came in to verbally torment me. Literally none of what he says would actually hurt me, but just because they're harsh words... And I wouldn't put it past him to actually reach into my insecurity of my ADHD making me annoying and overbearing, because I likely would've mentioned it to Ray once or twice or a million times lol.

But past that, GE Saeran seems to be heavily emotionally dependent on the MC -- no surprise there, but I... My friend. She was like that. Different issues, though: depression, anxiety, self-harm, and eventually suicidal thoughts.

I carried all her secrets, all her problems. I was in middle school. I was eager that someone would trust me so much. I was certain it had no impact on me.

And then it did. And it still does. I took on an... unfavorable habit. I still do it on occasion -- and I do small versions of it everyday. It's a terrible and destructive coping mechanism, but I... I like it.

We had a fight. I told her parents everything. They got her help. I'm happy for her, always still worried about it, but we're not friends anymore. I couldn't take it.

Ever since that, I get cautious around people who show similar behaviours to her -- thinking, I can't deal with a repeat.

Saeran isn't exactly a repeat, and I'd still want to be there for him 100%... but I'm afraid of how it might affect me. I don't know what would happen. Maybe I'd accidentally end up distancing myself from him, or maybe I'd fall back into the position of taking all of his burdens onto myself, as much as he would let me...

I realize Saeyoung would likely also be a little emotionally dependent as well, but I still think I could handle that a little better... maybe... Geez. It's not a big deal now, but... I mean, people like that -- people who are or get emotionally dependent -- exist. And if I meet someone who I really like, platonically or otherwise, and they end up being even a little emotionally dependent, I fear I would unintentionally distance myself, and end up losing an amazing relationship... This is why, I believe, the thing with the Choi twins affects me so much. That, and I know I would really want to help them, but I would struggle with so much feelings of inadequacy... No, I'd struggle with emotional inadequacy itself...

Sorry for this long post, but thank you for reading... ^^"

[417]

There can be a true catharsis in writing out your feelings so I hope that you feel a little better now that you’ve gotten it out. The fun thing about games is that it is allowing you to range outside of your comfort zone and put you on a playing field where you can click things that you may feel too nervous or unsure to do in your actual life! It’s good that you can find comfort in these characters, as well, and I totally get where you’re coming from.

Here’s the thing, yes, there are hard times emotionally with both of them but do not think for a second that they wouldn’t stop themselves in the middle of what they are doing if you start crying or get upset. Neither of them wants to hurt you or make you cry. They’re both fully aware by the ends of their routes that they’ve got a lot to work on.

It’s not easy. But, coping and learning how to deal with your trauma in a healthy way takes time. Realistically, the events of the game should happen over a much longer period and that would make it easier to put yourself in the situation and deal with as it comes. Especially with Ray’s Route, specifically. Because there is such a drastic change in his feelings. Falling in love and playing with the line of what he knows and what he doesn’t... that’s a whole thing.

Yes, to an extent, he leans on his MC. I’ve talked about that before. He’s going to lean on them a lot. He won’t mean to do it but he’s only ever lived his life in the sense that he can please others and do for them. Everyone gave him a reason to be alive and to exist, and now that he doesn’t have that, he doesn’t know what to do and that’s hard. That’s going to be a battle in itself but he’ll get better in time with therapy and positive support from everyone. However, that can be exhausting, so that’s something to take with care.

Saeran knows that he needs to work on himself and he’ll apologize and work with you when he does that. You just have to be gentle with him and be honest about how exhausted it makes you feel. He’s willing to work with you and take care of this. He wants to get better. He wants to fight for his health. But, Rome isn’t built in a day. If you love him and he loves you, he wants to make this work.

Saeyoung is hard in the sense that yes, he loves you and he would do anything for you. His issue is that he can be skittish and paranoid. In the events of the SE, he and his brother still have to live with the fact that their father is still out there and could still hurt them. He’s not going to push that fear onto you specifically but it will show in what he does. He sleeps with his back to the wall. He needs to double-check when you go out alone on CCTV. He watches over you and he can get really scared.

It’s not smothering, per se, but it is something that he needs to work on and very well acknowledge that he is doing. It’s not healthy for him to live like that, but the fear is warranted so that’s hard to fight. He, just like Saeran, understands that he has a long road ahead of him to get better... but he wants to, and the willingness to be ready to fight for yourself is the first step in the long battle. If someone isn’t willing to fight, then it’s not going to work.

With your own fears, I think they would both be happy to help you work on your own fears and help you in your own battle. Support systems are important, and the Choi boys want you to feel safe and loved too. Fear is fear, but love is love, and it’ll be okay. If you find comfort in them, don’t fear that things would spiral out of control, there will be hard nights, but it will be okay. At the end of the day, you’ve got someone that cares about you as much as you care about them.

It’s about being willing to be honest.

Being honest is hard, but you have to acknowledge it. It’s something that the three of you can work on together, no matter what timeline this is. Like, to give you a personal example, even though I love Saeran, I would have a hard time myself being there in the physical form. One of my triggers is loud voices, and I would have an issue with Suit Saeran as well even though I tend to try to rationalize anger and fear to combat my anxiety. I can’t control the fact that I cry when people scream at me, though.

But, I do control how I let it affect me afterward and that’s a part of my personal battle to cope and to heal... and knowing that Saeran is just fighting so hard to control himself and he feels so twisted up, well, I have faith in him even when he is angry and lost. That’s me though, I have faith in people. It’s just good, to be honest with yourself and know that you can find comfort and rationality in that love.

#tw depression #tw anxiety #417 anon #ask #mod kait

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chazzfox · 5 years ago

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SO many thoughts on Frozen 2

So I've been doing a lot of thinking on Frozen 2 after reading a lot of other fan ideas, reviews, etc, and rewatching the first movie and basically obsessing myself into an interesting state of mind. I HAVE A LOT TO SAY. I accidentally wrote out a long, long, LONG post so uh, congrats if you read it. SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SURE.

1. My biggest thought by far is in regards to people saying that Elsa found herself in the first movie, and why must she struggle through who she is again? Well...because you don't stop finding yourself, and especially at a young age. I'm 33. I think I got past hurdles in expressing myself and accepting who I am, everything from what were weird interests (to me) and even my own sexuality, three of four damn times. It was annoying. And fascinating. And each time there were deep emotions and investment in it.

Elsa found in the first movie she's not a dangerous monster and that she could exist with and love her sister. That's huge, don't get me wrong! But the anxiety was still there and we still see traces of it in the second movie. It didn't up and vanish no matter how many snow toys she might make children or how many times she skated with Anna. And with that kind of high anxiety, and after years and years and YEARS of locking herself away, she was just at the start of things I'd say by the time the first Frozen ended.

It's totally reasonable, imo, that down the road after finding some acceptance in herself and Anna, she would be wondering WHY she is what she is, where she came from, as there's so much mystery in her life. Her parents left her feeling guilty, lonely, ironically powerless, locked up, and with no damn answers for herself. She needs to find herself.

Arguably, so does Anna. Again, I can make similar arguments for her, lonely in the first movie, not much contact with others, striving so hard to be close to her sister. She achieved the latter admirably, and so her journey to find who she is with access to more of the world is a big deal. She always wants to open a door. And she wants to go through each one with Elsa, which is something that had to be handled at least a little.

Again, you never really stop growing, discovering, and questioning. Elsa may have found a huge, huge part of herself, found why she is there and who she is, but I'm sure she will still struggle a little with her new place in the world. This brings me to another subject -

2. Elsa and Anna now separated. There seems to be a lot of division on this topic, and I get it. I didn't really want them apart either. They really do belong in each other's company. And a note, I don't ship Elsa and Anna, so maybe I've lost some of you here ahaha (I don't really ship anyone though). I love their close cuddly sister relationship a lot and felt they were absolutely robbed of it for so long which is probably WHY they often hug, hold hands, touch each other, are somehow right with each other.

However...at least for the time being I think it's also important for their growth as characters. Elsa and Anna both care for Arendelle, but Elsa didn't feel she was 'meant' to be there, so to force herself there for her sister could be damaging when understandably, she would want to understand more about the spirits and the forest that gifted her mother with her. She is a part of the forest, of the Ahtohallan. And to force herself into a role she isn't dedicated to wouldn't be in Arendelle's best interest, so she wouldn't want that either. Elsa has shown she needs that understanding of her role, needs to be where she feels right, somewhere that speaks to her, and for now that is in the forest with the Northuldra people.

Anna loves Arendelle, loves the people, and to ask her to stay in a place where she doesn't belong wouldn't be right either. Sure, part of probably just nodded and said yes because Elsa proposed the split, but Anna also learned that she can do what can be done without her sister. Thinking her sister was dead, she still put on foot in front of the other and achieved her goal of destroying the dam. I do believe for now just the knowledge of knowing Elsa is alive and thriving is enough for her to feel happy.

They also see each other. That much is left clear to us and it's not a long journey for Elsa lol. Probably not for Anna either when Elsa can guide wind, earth and water to help. ...Fire too but yea lol.

They are apart just enough. Elsa can still drop in and have Anna cuddle her to sleep while Kristoff does...idk...talks with Sven. For as many cuddle nights as I imagine those two have had, Kristoff is a pretty chill dude.

3. The parents. Hooboy the parents. A very valid criticism is that Elsa and Anna's parents treated Elsa totally mcfreaking WRONG and yet so much centers around them, and then suddenly Elsa is dueting with her momma in Ahtohallan and crying.

Yea there's some confusing emotions going on there.

The girls loved their parents a lot regardless of if they really messed up. I am sure Elsa didn't know how to feel but didn't want to lose them as she already felt alone and hidden. The topic has come up that her dad knew the forest, her mom was FROM THE FREAKIN PLACE, so how did they mishandle so badly?

Panic, I think. I view it as a lot of panic, for many reasons. Anna being hurt was the primary one, but I wondered if they thought it could indeed lead to the forest waking up and causing trouble. They didn't expect magic outside the forest, didn't know what impact it could have and Iduna never exactly counted on having Elsa as she was.

I don't think they were bad people. Just unprepared and I kind of think this is how it went down with Ahtohallan as well. I posted about this before but I feel like...her parents weren't able to cross, not even her mom, because of how they squandered their gift. They took something wonderful and locked her away, made her conceal and hide from the spirits that wanted to connect with her. So when they decided to sail off and find answers and leave the girls alone, the spirits said "nope, you messed up, you don't get to come in here" and down went their ship.

But to complete Elsa there had to be something, they had to connect her with her mother's heritage and tie her to her meaning in the world. So, Ahtohallan showed her Iduna. Her parents loved her and if there's one major theme in these movies and characters it is the power of love along with self acceptance. Love is what brought Elsa as she was into the world! And that strong emotion and realization resonated, so we see Iduna as a large key.

Whoosh, Im getting tired, and I'm pretty sure I have more to say...but I'll craft that more later.

Some of my leftover thoughts right now are pretty short...I feel Elsa was displayed as ace, but that really depends on the viewer anyway. As much as I would love to see Honeymaren and Elsa, the brief snippets in the movie don't do it for me, but I am sort of relieved to see Elsa having a friend. She deserves a friend that isn't her sister or her sister's fiance or a...snowman. I'm not sure she really tried to bond with anyone in Arendelle, being that she was still sorting her life out after the events of the first movie.

But maybe there will be some more releases of official material, and we'll see. I just hope some of the absolute hate for Kristoff and Anna stops. I'm not overly into it, it's just kind of a boring dynamic to me right now, but not every romantic relationship is super exciting and stuff. They fit well and we see that Kristoff's first words to her after being lost in the woods are "I'm here. What do you need?" He's a good guy, stop hatin' on him.

Oh! That brings me to another thought though - I read a couple of posts where others felt he interrupted Elsa and Anna's moment at the end of the movie. I couldn't disagree more! Elsa didn't display any negative emotion toward it. I think she was happy for her sister, wanting her as happy as she could be in that moment, and the proposal added right in. Anna had felt alone and at her rope's end in the cave, then she got her sister back and after running off on him sort of, Kristoff proposing. Elsa saw her sister elated. And Anna got to have her sister as part of that momentous life event!

Besides, Kristoff is one of those Elsa counts as everyone she's ever loved within those walls. When they met again she embraced him too. I think Elsa was happy to have family again, have it fuller and to know someone she trusts will be there with Anna as she rules. Kristoff's a silly character and it's hard not to write him off when he's alongside such bright stars as Elsa and Anna, but he has a good, solid role. He belongs and so did that part of the moment.

Ugh, and I thought I was tired before...

Guess this is where I wrap this up!

Please, if any of you want to talk about this, even to disagree, don't hesitate to drop an ask or message. I don't want anyone to think I'm actively crapping on their interpretation - this is how it came across to me and after my third viewing I was finally able to get this written. If you didn't like the ending, that's okay, and if you ship Elsa and Anna, Kristoff and Ryder, Elsa and Honeymaren, Olaf and Gale, you do you and follow your shippy heart.

As for me I'mma hit post and get some cake.

#Frozen 2 #Elsa #Anna #review #Iduna #elsamaren #elsanna #kristanna

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laws-yellow-submarine · 5 years ago

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Skylar(OC)/Law One-Shot

The benefits of being hyper means I get extra writing done lol So inspiration for this is taken directly from my mystery prompts list from the event, but also it was an idea I knew I wanted to use in my fic at some point. So, while this is currently written as a one-shot, it will appear in the fic at a later point, when the story gets to when this takes place. I have a lot of fun writing Skylar and Law interactions, especially when they’re in that kind of weird “I kinda like you a little bit maybe but hell no I’m not gonna say that to anybody not even myself” stage haha hope you enjoy!

Tradition: “Baby, it’s cold outside…”

White filled Skylar’s vision as she stared, open-mouthed, through the porthole. Fluffy mounds piled high on the hills far beyond the docks, lay flat on the rooftops in the town nearby, fell in perfect forms from the heavens to rest on the ground below.

Damn, she owed Shachi 500 belli.

Racing through the Polar Tang, she quickly made her way to the top floor, ready to run right out onto the wooden deck. She was stopped before she even touched the door by a large hand grabbing her by the shirt.

“Where are you going, Skylar-ya?”

Skylar blinked at him, trying to squirm out of his tight grip. “Outside? Duh! It’s snow! I wanna touch it!” But Law made no move to let her go, instead raising a brow and scowling at her bright grin.

“You’re not seriously planning on going out in just that…?” He really didn’t think she could be that stupid. Sure it was only a bit below freezing, but considering the weather where she was from, frostbite would set in faster. Not to mention her risk for hypothermia. Even he was wearing a coat for crying out loud!

“Oh come on, Law, it can’t be that cold,” She huffed indignantly, putting her hands on her hips the best she could despite him still gripping her collar.

“You need a coat.”

“Don’t have one. I’ll be fine, now let. me. go!” She continued struggling against him, but his grip just tightened, dragging her down the hall to the men’s quarter’s. After finally realizing he wasn’t going to let up, Skylar dropped to the ground and crossed her arms, forcing him to literally drag her along behind him like some petulant child. Law snagged for only a second, jolted by the sudden increase in weight, but kept to his task, determined to find something for her to wear. He wasn’t about to replace his, albeit unaffiliated, cook.

“Hey, make yourselves decent,” he called through the door after knocking, waiting for the shuffling to stop before walking inside with the obnoxious woman still on the floor behind him. A few of his men stood around, having just finished dressing themselves in hats, scarves, and gloves. “We need an extra boiler suit, who’s got one?”

Ignoring the woman’s squeals of “please don’t make me wear that!”, Law waited for his men to check their chests, feeling his scowl deepen when they all came up empty.

“Sorry, Cap...I think they’re all in the laundry room.” Right, tomorrow was laundry day. Dragging his free hand down his face, Law sighed and left the room, waving his men off to enjoy their day. He dragged Skylar further down the hall, the woman finally attempting to stand up after complaining about her bottom hurting (not that Law was paying attention to that, of course). He pushed open his bedroom door, commanding the woman to sit on the couch while he searched for a spare jacket.

Skylar, continuing to be an overall brat, sat down on the floor instead. At Law’s exasperated look, she just huffed, turning her head away before answering, “I will die before I sit on that ugly, yellow fucking couch.”

On second thought, maybe he should let her just freeze to death.

Breathing deep through his nose, Law turned to his closet, groaning slightly when he too came up empty-handed. Apparently he only owned the one coat, and as he was already wearing it, that meant she couldn’t. Of course, he could just give it to her for now; being from the North Blue, he was more well-suited to the cold, enjoyed it even, and would be able to handle being out longer without it than she would.

Then again, it was his coat.

Skylar jolted in surprise when she felt a hunk of fabric hit her in the face. Looking at the bundle in her hands, she recognized the smiling face from Law’s favorite yellow hoodie. “That should help keep you warm until we can get to a shop. Don’t get it dirty.” Skylar pouted, but began putting it on anyway; Law was standing directly in front of her only exit, and she knew he wouldn’t move until she did as he said.

“I mean, I’d be the one washing it anyway,” she said, wrinkling her nose as a new smell hit her. Taking a quick whiff of the hoodie’s collar, she barked out a cough, covering her nose and holding the fabric as far away as she could. “Fucking hell, please let me wash this you are disgusting!” She let out a squeal as he plopped his hat on her head, scalp already itching from the material. “Jeez, what are you a fucking goblin? I’m washing this too! God, I’m gonna have to take like three showers to get your stink off of me!” Yet underneath the stench, Skylar didn’t miss the underlying scent of antiseptic and a soap that reminded her of the woods back home in the spring. When his back finally turned so he could open the door, she caught herself taking another sniff.

She took off as soon as the door opened, speeding back through the sub all the way to the deck, running over the gangplank, onto the docks, only to slip at the end and go barreling into a large snowbank. She quickly sat up, hands and nose burning as she tried to extricate herself from the snow. It was hard to do with how much she was shivering, and she swore if the guys still on deck didn’t stop laughing at her, she’d poison their dinners, Law be damned.

“W-w-w-why is sn-snow so f-f-f-f-f-fucking cold?! Why d-d-d-do people l-l-l-l-l-live here?!”

Law facepalmed from his position on the docks. He’d warned her.

“Come on, we need to get you someplace warm before your nose falls off,” he deadpanned, coming up next to her. Skylar blanched under the redness forming along her nose and cheeks, matching her ungloved hands.

“C-c-c-can that r-r-really happen?!” She squeaked, taking his offered hand to pull herself up.

“Sometimes. Wrap your hands in the sleeves, that hoodie’s big enough on you to cover yourself twice; take advantage of it.” For once not arguing with him, she did as he said, the warm fabric instantly taking some of the bite away from her fingers. She buried her nose in the stinky fabric as best she could, choosing to focus on the underlying “Law” scents rather than the “stinky, unwashed hoodie” scents.

Looking like a bright yellow, spotted turtle, she waddled down the streets next to him, likely walking closer than necessary, but wholly uncaring. He radiated body heat, and while she hated admitting he was right about the cold, she’d take what she could get to get warm again.

For his part, Law let her walk too close, keeping focused so as not to accidentally step on her. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, taking note of the shade of red she’d become from the snow. Hopefully they’d avoided frostbite, but he wouldn’t know for sure until he could actually examine her. He watched the way frost fell from her eyelashes as green eyes squinted against the wind, her silver hair blowing from underneath his hat. He’d actually had to hold in a laugh as she walked with his hoodie bunched up around her face, the bright fabric still reaching almost to her knees from the size difference. It was a shame she hated yellow so vehemently; she looked damn good in his sweatshirt.

Not that he’d tell her that. Or anyone else for that matter. In fact, reader, forget you read that; nobody needs to ever know that thought once crossed his mind.

Finally, they came across a shop selling winter coats, nestled near a small alley a few streets away from the inn they’d be staying at. Law ushered Skylar inside, smirking at the way she shivered in the sudden warmth. The shop was small, but cozy, with racks upon racks of coats, scarves, hats, and gloves in a rainbow of colors. They started for one of the women’s racks, when suddenly a loud voice called out to them from the sales counter.

“Oh, honey, what on earth are you wearing?! Baby, it’s cold outside! You need more than just a hat and a sweatshirt in this weather!” The duo whirled around to see a small, wrinkled old lady sitting behind the counter, glaring and wagging her finger at the Surgeon of Death like it was nothing. “And you! Be a proper gentleman and give that poor girl your coat! I swear, men today have no manners when it comes to treating women properly!”

As Law sneered at the menacing finger wagging in his face, Skylar devolved into a fit of snorts and giggles, wisely choosing to go about the task of finding winter clothing instead of openly laughing in his face. He glanced back at her, ignoring the old woman for now. “Make sure you get everything; you’re more susceptible to the cold than the rest of us are, and it’s doubtful this will be the only winter island we stop at.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Skylar said, waving him off much to his annoyance. He kept his gaze on her as she perused the selection of coats, seeming stuck on what color to get.

“Don’t get those, get the yellow one,” he said, without really thinking about it. She scoffed at him.

“Ew, no. What is it with you and yellow?” Law shrugged.

“It’s your color,” he smirked at the way she gagged.

“You’re disgusting. I’m getting purple. Just to spite you.”

“What else is new?” his smug grin widened at her glare, but he left her to pick out the rest of her gear: a white hat, scarf, and pair of gloves. As they walked up to the counter, Law grabbed a pair of fluffy yellow earmuffs as well, to be safe, and opened a room while she wasn’t paying attention. Placing her items on the counter, Skylar began searching for her wallet, and Law quickly switched out the white scarf for a bright yellow one, discarding the room after doing so. The entire purchase was in the bag before she even looked up.

“Skylar-ya, stop looking for your wallet, it’s back on the sub. I’ll pay.”

“Dammit Trafalgar, stop taking my damn money!”

“Sweetie, let the man pay. It’s the least he can do for making his poor girlfriend walk around in the cold like that. You know you can find better than this, don’t you honey?”

Skylar turned red, from more than the cold this time, and began giggling again as Law fumed. His face had turned a rather interesting shade of crimson, and he slammed the money on the counter before grabbing his companion by the hood of his sweatshirt and dragging her out the door. Skylar gave a surreptitious wave to the old woman as the door slammed shut behind them.

Back out in the cold, Skylar began putting on her new purchases, amazed at how much warmer she felt from even just the jacket. Reaching into the bag as Law took his hat back, she paused, noticing a few...oddly colored items.

“Law…” He hummed. “Why is there a yellow scarf and earmuffs in here?”

“So you stay warm, obviously,” He replied, face turning smug. “Put everything on, it’s too cold to go without.”

“I fucking hate you,” She seethed, yanking the earmuffs over her white hat and tying the offensively bright scarf around her face. Law gave her no response, just waited for her to finish before starting down the road to the inn. As she fell into step beside him, he felt her anger dissipate as he situated his hat back how he liked it.

“Thank you…” Law glanced at her. “For not letting me freeze to death.” He smiled, more genuinely this time.

“If you froze to death, I’d need to find a new cook, and I don’t think the crew will tolerate me in the kitchen ever again.” Skylar laughed at that, agreeing with him, and they continued down the road in companionable silence.

#Trafalgar law #trafalgar law scenario #law x oc stuff #law x OC #law/OC #valentine skylar #one piece OC #one piece fan fic #fan fiction #one piece #one piece scenario #300+ follower event TECHNICALLY #for context: skylar doesn't believe snow exists #that's why she owes Shachi money lmfao #I'll probably edit this a bit when I do incorporate it into my fic but only to make sure it fits nicely #this is like a merry christmas gift to myself lmfao #hopefully the read more works but if not I'm so sorry I swear I put it in

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spacejew · 5 years ago

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oops accidental personal post I guess

It's weird that I almost feel the need to go here to personal blog again because of a handful of irl friends following what was supposed to be a private personal Twitter in theory, just for like, idk, internet strangers and friends I made online not those imported from meatspace. Also those character limits... Suffocating.

Anyways yeah things are kinda stable but dissapointing lifewise? I'm definitely in a rut and stuck somewhere I'm desperately trying to get out of. Also like. idk. Gender shit. I think I really fucked myself over hard when I made the decision a few years back to conviously bottle up all my dysphoria and trans feelings and bury them and repress them hard and just live as a very gay and feminine bi boy and like. hm. I think I've been happy since? But im thinking now that maybe. Because that's still a part of my psyche that haunts me every day. I might actually have been mildly depressed this whole time and like, still struggling to make important life decisions because of the anxiety of that. Idk. Maybe if I got a therapist and realistic attention to that all those years ago and it turned out to be very real n legit and i got to make tough choices and live my truth, I would be equipped now to actually be joyful and able to fully focus on hard work and taking risks and putting myself out there and being successful and shit. Idk idk idk. I just have to wonder if all this time I've actually been quite unhappy and filling the void with dumb shit and a good deal of dissociation and complacency. Idk. what I'm saying is maybe I made a big mistake there lmao and could've started transitioning, if that's right for me, 4-7 years ago maybe, who knows. Haha so fun. Fuck me. Big Regrets, lads. But also I still don't know if that's right. Which probs means it is who am I kidding. Oof. But it's ok life is a journey I'm full of wise shit and I know it's not the end of the world. It just kinda. Makes me so sad on behalf of the old me who would cry so much because of dysphoria and living in this body in this life. She knew. I don't know why I buried her alive like that. Anyways.

I spent all year struggling to make an animated short (which ended up being kinda long tbh like 10 minutes?) by myself mostly, just me and my mental blocks and executive dysfunction and shit, but I was v passionate about it and worked hard and got to actually bring a whole vision to life, with basically nobody to tell me what to do, just give me feedback that I wasn't obligated to follow. It came out pretty nice and I'm very happy that I got to tell exactly the story I wanted and try a cool new look and I just wish I gave myself more time to work on the actual animation part but I put my heart and endless weeks and months of refinement into the storyboarding and script and every little detail and I really feel accomplished and like it paid off -- and I even got to do a private screening at my summer camp job that I was called in to do one more time at the last minute right when I finished my film, it was a miracle and so perfect, everyone cried and truly loved it and felt touched by it. And then I went to animation festivals! And all this cool shit! But... I haven't been able to figure out a public screening thing yet. And I feel like all my excitement is gone now. And I really wanted to polish the look and some backgrounds a little, just some very quick rerendering and comp, but. I feel like too much time has passed, i just feel dissapointed. I haven't put it online yet cause I haven't done my public screening, cause of my stupid anxiety about little details and overall idk imposter syndrome I guwss I feel more ashamed of it than proud of it even tho it's probably good, and like I feel that everyone was excited to support me but probably nobody cares anymore.

Basically I had all the wind taken out of my sails. Oh and right when I was trying to get it off the ground I guess and push through, my grandma died. I'm so heartbroken I loved her so fucking much and. She never got to see the film cause of my stupid bullshit. I feel so bad about that. So so bad. Ugh. And it's a film very very hilariously blatantly directly based on me and my feelings and my real family history, ultimately besides other main themes it's about talking to your grandparents and family about the past and your current feelings. And in it the main character, a girl, cough cough even though it's basically me, cough cough go figure, gender shit, anyways the climax is her going back in time to talk to her great grandma, and it's very emotional and my best friend of like almost 10 years now composed and recording a music for that scene for me. And now when I eventually screen this, my entire family and also myself is gonna get torn to shreds by this scene more than intended because my own fucking grandma, who I was excited to show this film to more than anyone on earth, passed so unexpectedly without seeing it. Fuck. Why didn't I send it to her when she was in the hospital? Obviously cause if I did that that would make it real and she wouldn't get better and all I do is live in denial. Ugh. Anyways yeah. The point is I'm stagnant and in a rut right now and just want to move forward and focus on making new work and just get a real career relevant job already. Tough year hit a well needed high and now petering off back into misery. Not to be dramatic. I'm ok tbh I have a part time I'm slowly getting sick of and a loving supportive partner and some very good friends, tho not as many as I used to see regularly and that's kinda sad too. That's your 20s babey.

I just need to move on and make big changes. My pattern rn is like. Work fri-sun, if I'm lucky I get to hang out with friends or lovers, usually at least with my partner. on monday I recover from working. on tuesday I have dnd and usually get some stuff done but honestly just catch up on warframe with my clan friends. wednesday my partner and I got to the park and library for half the day and eat and draw and talk. on thursday I mentally prepare for work again and usually we go out to play another roleplaying game with her roommates friends. a lot of that free time that's been left unmentioned is spent being over at bae's sometimes so I don't have the ability to get much work done. Lately I've spent most of my time planning a dnd campaign which is fun but also too stressful on account of obviously I'm not playing it yet so like what's the point, sorry friends who have patiently waited for months for me to be ready to start the game for them. And also like. Yeah idk. just sad and confused and resting my weary heart and body after a very rough month after my grandma passed. But! I did accomplish a very crazy deep cleaning of my room. I threw out 14 bags of shit at the least. I wish I weighed it all, it was a lot. I feel so much more organized and cleansed from that. For the record I didn't have any trash in my room, nor was it every a mess. Just every single cabinet and drawer was crammed full of stuff and I guess I hoarded a lot of shit. I was able to throw away a lot of things I held on to be cause of sentimentality and I'm proud of myself for growing that way. So like. Idk. It's not all bad, baby steps. I still feel like I'm constantly improving as a person! I'm positive, optimistic. Just tired, anxious, and feel bad.

Also I finally got a new phone and because of my hubris I dropped it without a case and it shattered only two weeks in. The day I was gonna buy a case. But it's ok. Story of my life I guess. I can't keep everything pristine and polished forever, one day shit falls and breaks but it's still usable. It has character.

I wasn't expecting to dump everything like this, sorry yall. Thanks for reading I guess. Also I forgot how to do a read more on mobile lol sorry

#personal #capn whitey #tw death #i guess

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