chazzfox

[chazzfox]

If I ever wrote a superhero story I’d want there to be a recurring shitty C-list supervillain in the background whose power was changing something’s colour and all her villainous plots would be colour-themed things like “If the city council doesn’t give me a million dollars, I will turn the city of GREEN Bay into the city of RED Bay!” and she’d turn the Golden Gate Bridge magenta or whatever.

So it’s all low-stakes villainy, but everyone absolutely hates fighting her because her very shitty superpower works really really well, and there are dozens of background characters who’ve fought her that are just permanently green now

[chazzfox]

[chazzfox]

i do

[chazzfox]

a scene must be included PRIOR to sex where the characters READ their birth certificates OUT LOUD so the reader will know they were born on the SAME DATE to avoid any disgusting AGE GAPS

[chazzfox]

[chazzfox]

My favorite thing about working in the food service industry is seeing news articles and think pieces about the new million dollar piece of technology that's supposed to replace the 19 year old stoner in the industry.

Like the robot that pours a beer for you. Sometimes. Versus the 19 year old stoner who can help you choose the beer you want, give you a sample, pour it perfect, switch out the keg when it blows, and probably convince you to stick around for three beers, a burger, and some karaoke, instead of one pint after work.

Or the million dollar robot that delivers your pizza, and can never find your house, gets stuck on uneven sidewalk, and blocks the path for wheelchair users. Versus the 19 year old stoner who can get your shit to your door rain or shine in exchange for a fiver and maybe a hit off your joint if you were feeling generous.

Or the espresso robot that needs a 19 year old stoner to run every part of the process except running water through the grounds.

[chazzfox]

So there's gossip about some version of kinktober over on twitter adding a bunch of nonsensical rules this year, and I am fascinated. Studying this like a bug.

Like, what the hell.

(context link)

[chazzfox]

i think we should stop calling them baby names so people remember they’re not just naming a baby but also a future twenty seven year old with a resume

[chazzfox]

Heyyyyyy bro... so I just got back from a reality hopping adventure and... no yeah, it was cool, we saved the multiverse... yeah, sure, I'll tell you all about it on a sec, I just gotta ask something first... so... well... every version of you that I met was a girl... huh? No. Like they were all trans... I'm pretty sure... seemed rude to ask. But yeah, um... how are you doing?

[chazzfox]

Lúthien and the Hound of Valinor, Huan

[chazzfox]

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't think anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

[chazzfox]

How the FUCK have I never come across this post

My friend was messing with Never Gonna Give You Up on her record player and she sped it up. It beCAME A FREAKING MAGICAL GIRL THEME.

[chazzfox]

"oh homeless people are just gonna use your money to buy drugs" and? and?? the government uses my tax money to buy bombs and cops, you think I care if someone in a shitty situation uses money I gave them to feel marginally less shitty? fuck off!

[chazzfox]

this is, as the kids say, frying me (a glasses wearer)

[chazzfox]

My 51 year old therapist mother LOVES Pokemon go

[chazzfox]

Has the internet sleuthed out this mother-daughter duo yet?

The anti-trans hysteria du jour on perfidious Albion is that a retail employee who was trans asked a mother and child shopping at her store if they needed any help

That’s it

[chazzfox]