#and none of this would be an issue if ppl didn't try to make their fanon jc fantasy canon

[olderthannetfic]

Im neither a proshipper nor an anti at this current stage in life, but at one point i was an anti i guess? And I hate it say it, but looking back, I understand why. I don't think I actually gave a fuck about Harmful Fanfic or whatever, it was just a substitute for therapy that i couldn't get at the time (because "literally neurodivergent and a minor" or whatever, but like...actually literally neurodivergent and a minor LOL).

As weird as it sounds like, no one cared about my ACTUAL PAIN, and that made me feel EVEN MORE PAIN, so i took it out on ppl who shipped "abuse", or whatever.

It's so stupid now, as an adult who is mentally better than I was then, but as ridiculous as it was, seeing someone ship an "abusive" ship or a "queer erasing ship" (like a canonically gay character with someone of the other binary gender)...it felt eerily similar to the actual abuse I was facing and the stress that everyone was putting on me to find a boyfriend or ask why my (closeted lesbian) self didn't like any boys.

But it was so much easier to keyboard warrior about how people who ship Bad things are Bad people, than it was to fix any problems in my actual life because...well, the actual problems in my life COULDN'T be fixed. That isn't a learned helplessness thing, there was genuinely nothing I could've done. So pissing off Shippers was, like, a vessel for that, and it *felt* like I was getting to lash out at the same people who were ACTUALLY hurting me, even though that obviously is not the case. Funny thing is, it wasn't actual fandom discourse that made me switch sides, it was getting to learn more about youth liberation movements and stuff, because it was then that I recognized the actual structures that were making me hurt.

I think one silver lining is it's made me more compassionate an adult. While I don't have any defense for the antis who do actual horrendous stuff like doxxing or sending death/rape threats, etc, I do have a lot of defense for the ones who were like me and would just make posts talking about how Wrong it is to ship certain things. I know that not all antis are in the same place that I was once was, and some are just genuinely immature brats, but it's like. . . I get it, you know?

The cycle of abuse/bullying is weird and it's not often a 1:1 "I had an abusive parent so now i'll be an abusive parent", sometimes it's the chronically online stuff like I did. It's also why I'm careful-careful to not engage and to just block or, even try to have a mature discussion if I can, and if the person I'm talking to is just "a little bit annoying" rather than "actual bully doing/sending illegal stuff". A lot of them just want to be heard, I think, and it really makes me sad that this is the way they choose to be heard...but also i get it, because i was that.

--

Yup. We often discuss anti tendencies in this framework.

People want control over their environment when they have none. They want the world to make sense and for there to be simple rules they can follow to Never Mess Up. This is a very common reaction to trauma and also typical of brains that like order and neat boxes and a world full of justice and logic.

The trouble is that a critical mass of "I'm just pointing this out" type posts does tend to make all the other teens with an issue around moral scrupulosity implode. (And let's be real, plenty of the antis themselves are secretly into dark content and are trying to pray the gay kink away.)

I have some sympathy, but I'm still going to tell people they're sealioning when they are and tell them they're flat out wrong about how fantasies work, not sugar coat it because they're probably a delicate teen. There's no need to be excessively mean or treat people as irredeemable, but I also don't like how we talk endlessly about compassion for teen antis and not for teens targeted by antis. It's similar to how there are all those complaints like "Hey, I work hard to manage my mental illness, but all the support seems to go to people who are letting their issues rampage..."

[rhiaarrow]

I've seen ppl talking abt it on twitter and here and I wanted to sort of contribute my thoughts towards it,

Ppl aren't 'forgetting' about qTubbo's death. It's just that the situations of qBad and qTubbo's deaths, while they had the same outcome, were completely different for multiple factors.

(This isn't targeted at the ppl who think the death is being overlooked because that's their analysis and it's totally fair. It's just that people saying that got my analyst brain drawing comparisons between the deaths and I ended up with this big wall of text so...yeah :') )

1 - The build up (from outside POVs)

With qTubbo from most Povs he just sort of... died with no clear build up. Most ppl didn't see the true extent of his self spiralling because he hid it or they just simply didn't spend a lot of time with him in order to pick up on the stuff that we the viewers picked up on. And then all of a sudden he just died with no obvious lead up (unless you watch his pov in which case there was an obvious lead up) but from outsiders who barely saw him, it just happened.

Whereas

With qBad there was a more obvious build up on other Povs, he told the ppl he loved he was dying or at least they knew that something was wrong. They knew that his death was inevitable and as much as they hate to admit it a lot of them had already come to terms with the fact that he would be gone soon. (Again unless you watch his pov the whole build up from the past few months is less obvious but it was more developed with other players before his actual death) Most Povs at least recognised that there was something wrong with the blue spreading across his face because well...it was pretty fucking obvious

2 - The way they told people

qTubbos "I'm an egg, I only have one life left." while true sounds like a joke because well... he's obviously not actually an egg. Ppl joke abt stuff like that the whole time, the Eggboyhalo joke for example or calling Foolish 'egg coded' early in the server. How were all players meant to immediately go 'ah yes, this player is definitely an egg. Yesyes, this makes perfect sense'. It's easy to see how it wasn't taken seriously by a lot of characters when only a few of them were ever given an actual explanation besides "yeah I've only got one life"

Whereas

qBads "I'm fine, don't worry about me." while actively coughing up a lung, covered in blue infection and regularly having memory issues is an obvious lie. Even if people only saw him for a couple of minutes or even seconds it was pretty damn hard to ignore the blue spreading on his body. They'd ask what it was, he'd try to avoid it or redirect them and that person was hit with an immediate red flag of 'oh, so something is wrong with Bad.' which most shelved away and didn't actively investigate but it caused many characters to express being worried about him

3 - Outward visibility

qTubbo died due to his internal issues; self doubt, lack of self worth, suicidal tendencies, etc (I feel bad writing etc but I know there were other factors I just can't remember them) which resulted in him chosing to live using the life system and later chosing to gamble his last life in a game of Russian roulette with Richas.

(None of this being clearly outwardly visible to bystanders even if he wanted them to notice)

Whereas

qBad died due to external issues; parts of his soul physically leaking out of wounds on his body which caused his body to degenerate so far that even as an immortal he couldn't hold on and stop his corporeal body from just giving out on him and forcing him to reset.

(Which was very clearly outwardly visible despite how much he tried to hide it)

4 - The methods of their return

(Honestly I think this part is what's making ppl think that qTubbo's death is being 'ignored' compared to qBads)

With qTubbo, Creation told them that in order to 'restore' him they need smth that they CANNOT craft. Creation did not elaborate further, so they have very little to work with/very little they can actually do in order to try and help him. So most players while they have expressed they want to help, they know that if they do try to help they'll be running at brick walls because they just cannot obtain what is needed and they need to just wait for Creation to show up again.

Whereas

With qBad they know he'll be back (because he's a demon and that's just how they work) and they know what they have to do. They have to wait and be patient when he does return because he might not remember them and he'll probably need pictures to remember. He told them all of this before he died.

On one hand you have qTubbo: Wait for a prompt from Creation or an NPC to help them craft the item to get him back

On the other you have qBad: Wait for him to come back on his own terms

And for the people used to Bad providing a metaphorical example to prove his point in a clearer manner;

When playing a video game you have more hope when waiting for a loading wheel to stop spinning so you can play the level, than you do looking at a level blocked behind a currently unobtainable paywall :/

In other words, dwelling on things you don't know how to fix sucks ass and no one likes thinking about it until they have a tangible idea for a solution and right now only one of the two deaths has an even remotely tangible solution even if it is just to wait and do nothing.

(I understand that ppls reactions to qBads death have seemed more proactive than qTubbos right now but today was the first qBagi and Em learned of him actually dying so it makes sense that today was sort of centered around that. Tbh it just sucks that qTubbo died on an event day bc I feel like if he didn't we would've got a lot more focus and angst out of it but what can you do. But also it's seemed a lot more proactive because qBads kids are actively searching the server for him for 3-4 hours a day which is just depressing as hell, kudos to Pommin and Dapmin for pulling that off :') )

Wall of text over!

Have a flower for your troubles, after all our cubitos have done to us, I think we've earned some flowers without angsty connotations ;-;

❀❀❀❀❀

[lolhex12]

we don't talk enough abt akutagawa's cough / lung disease (chronic&terminal) yet it has so much angst potential?? anywayy

after the current arc, atsushi knows akutagawa is actively dying and he's the only one who does bc akutagawa didn't tell anyone else abt it. (altho, in all honesty, the amount this man coughs should at least hint at it. i'm honestly amazed not more ppl in the story are concerned abt it)

so, the next mission they have together, akutagawa coughs and atsushi is now aware what it really means, so he wonders out loud with nonchalance masking his concern: "hey, so like, do you think yosano's ability would help with your cough and all? would it go away then?"

akutagawa, wiping his mouth, slightly annoyed: "how would i now? i'm not well-acquainted with your coworkers, weretiger, therefore it's none of my concern. and even then, i wouldn't trust any ada members with my issues, nor my life."

atsushi finds his words a bit sus bc 'u do trust me tho', but doesn't say it out loud and they leave it at that.

somehow, it becomes a regular thing. every time they have a mission together and atsushi hears his partner cough, he presents more ideas of how they could cure a terminal lung disease, and they vary in absurdity as he runs out of inspiration.

his ideas range from mere "have you tried going to a doctor?" (<- at which akutagawa stares in disbelief: "you either think i'm an idiot, or you are the idiot. which one is it?" and atsushi pouts bc 'ok yeah, fair... but also, rude') to insanities like "maybe witchcraft would help! i could look up witches in the area and see if black magic or something has any luck." (<- at which akutagawa is so done he doesn't even entertain the idea and just keeps walking)

they never follow through with any idea tho, bc akutagawa stubbornly refuses to waste time on trying to find a cure when his time on earth already is very limited.

it should also be noted that each time the cough gets worse; louder, rougher, more persistent and even bloody, which only makes atsushi more and more worried.

so one time, akutagawa's particularly annoyed by atsushi's insane and stupid ideas. he turns to him and point-blank asks: "why do even care so much whether i succumb to my illness or not? surely, my death should only leave you overjoyed to see the world be rid of one more evil."

that makes atsushi think bc 'why? why does he care whether akutagawa lives or dies? he's right, a bad person like a mafioso dying should be a good thing.'

after lengthy contemplation he comes to the conclusion that he simply cannot have his sworn enemy/rival/partner die from something as pathetic as a disease. someone as strong as akutagawa has to die in a more memorable way - not alone, in a bed, coughing, with nothing more to be remembered by. if anything he'd have to die fighting atsushi or something. yeah that's it. that's why. (<- it's not, but they're not quite there yet)

so atsushi tells him as much. akutagawa accepts it bc 'yeah, makes sense. what else could the reason be?'

the whole routine of coughing and brainstorming a solution in vain continues as the ideas get even more insane, the cough even worse and atsushi more concerned than ever.

the next time akutagawa is annoyed enough to pose the question again, atsushi is close to tears from anxiety as he holds up akutagawa who collapsed and can't seem to subdue his cough properly.

atsushi struggles to get out the water bottle and cough drops he'd started carrying around on their missions together. he's so scared bc he's never seen akutagawa look so sick and frail before (but not weak. never weak. akutagawa could never be weak in atsushi's eyes. it's impossible, bc akutagawa being strong is a simple, unchangeable fact, constant in any possible universe).

what would he do if akutagawa actually died there? in his arms? on a mission? which would probably get cancelled. would the pm think atsushi killed him? does he bring back the body or just bury it somewhere? pretend he got killed on the mission and not by his own body that had turned on him years ago and was in reality a long time coming? he couldn't even bear to think abt it.

"why tf do u care so much??" akutagawa yells with a scratchy voice before his cough continue despite his best efforts to stop.

atsushi can barely breathe anymore. "because i don't want you to die, you idiot! we're a team! you're my partner. who will i be left with if you go?" tears stream down his face, mainly from how overwhelming his anxiety feels. or maybe bc he really doesn't want his partner to die? nah, it's the anxiety. definitely the anxiety. (<- #denial)

akutagawa, at first embarrassed how his collapse derailed their mission bc goddammit he's supposed to be a professional and not let his issues interfere with his job, pauses when he sees atsushi crying... for him? because of him? ???

he's very confused bc he's pretty sure his rival/enemy/partner should not be so concerned abt his health and impending death, but something abt atsushi's expression and that whole situation makes him rethink his outlook on life.

that's when akutagawa starts taking his health more seriously and actively looks for possible, feasible ways to cure his disease, even if there's only a small chance it'll actually work. bc seeing atsushi like that made him realize there are a handful of people who care abt him and would mourn him if he died; more than just his sister and higuchi.

it made him realize his life had a bigger impact on others than he'd previously thought, not all of it bad.

[catboybiologist]

https://www.tumblr.com/radiantfissure/766164937299116032/yes-thank-you-prev-its-such-a-shitty-verbal?source=share

People of colour pointing out a pattern of racism and asking white queer people to do better is not the same thing as transmisogynistic femboys being used as an agp trope like she said. She is allover the place and jump from one point to another. I'm sorry that it makes you uncomfortable that we point out the trends of racism in the queer community and that we have to mention it over and over again to the point that you believe it is an harassment campaign because white queer people refuse to listen and change. If multiple ppl say the same thing over and over again, instead of believing it is a way to oppress white people, maybe take it as a sign that there is a huge problem racism in our community and white queer people must stop acting like victims when we point it out. There is a reason why you barely see any BIPOC in the online queer community. It is inhospitable to us and get called transphobic when we point it out. Not all white queers are like that but I shouldn't have to say it. Just listen to use BIPOC, I'm begging you.

Okay there's a lot here that's a bit of a storm of info and I'm going to be honest, I don't really know what's going on and I'm unpacking what you linked and what you said now.

I don't know if this ask is directed at me specifically, or if its just because I'm a white queer with some kind of following. I didn't interact with the linked post, and I don't know if its vagueing about a specific person or event, or just general sentiments.

First, if I genuinely have done or said anything directly to make BIPOC uncomfortable on my page or in the tumblr community, PLEASE tell me. This isn't a one time thing, I genuinely would appreciate if I'm "called out" in asks, DMs, or some other kind of interaction before something becomes a larger issue.

(This applies universally, btw, and is something I've asked for before. I appreciate directness and clarity a lot, and I do want to listen. I hope that comes across.)

(oh, and also, to white queer followers: don't try to "defend" me if this is pointing out something I did. Cut that bullshit out, its extremely uncomfortable.)

Second, if this isn't about something I've done or said specifically, and you mostly want comment on the post.... yeah, I'm going to be honest, that post is a big fucking problem. There's a LOT to unpack in that post and I don't have nearly the capacity to go through it all. Fuck. This is a half baked thought, but it genuinely feels like they're using some kind of "TMA status" as a deflection of criticism. I've absolutely seen memes about the "racist femboy", but honestly, its nothing more than memes.

I've actually probably seen more racist, internally queerphobic femboys than I've seen memes or stereotypes on the subject. So uh. Yeah.

Imma be blunt. If the stereotype of the "racist 4chan femboy" is something you come across commonly in a way that actually affects discussion and communication about trans issues, and feels more prevalent than the stereotypes that are flown around in political contexts and broader culture... then I'm really sorry, you're probably terminally online.

None of this is well formed thoughts. All of this is a mess. I can't agree with this post, though. The most favorable interpretation of it is that its coming from a place of being extremely online and not really knowing what the actual stereotypes held about trans women are. The less favorable reading is that its deflection.

Third, if there are specific people or events this is referring to, then I well and truly have 0 clue whats going on.

Also, I sympathize with the sheer exhaustion of feeling like you have to say "not all white queers" all the time. Obviously I haven't been in the exact situation, but I feel very similarly about a lot of social commentary- you oftentimes get tired of the little disclaimers intended to make other people more comfortable. Its fucking tiresome.

[ca-suffit]

I hated the revisiting of the abuse scene that didn't even sound like louis ik he's still the victim of the situation even if he fought back but lestat looking worse and bloodier than louis i don't believe that the scene just felt unnecessary and a way to appease the fans what did you think of it

It sounded like Louis to me. We saw parts of this in 2x5 when he confronted Armand (while on drugs thru Daniel's blood but still) and we saw what kind of mother Florence was to him, which is the origin for a lot of this. This is the side of Louis that he doesn't like to be conscious of. Louis is a great, complex character and this only adds to it. It seems like a lot of the fandom struggles to understand these characters as they're a spectrum of emotions and actions, alongside the faulty memory issues. This is real life tho? U are the villain of someone's story just like ur the angel in another. None of us is ever a static identity of "good" or "bad." Emotions are neutral things. Anger is not a negative thing, but the actions taken while angry can have consequences (just like actions taken when happy can have that too, it's across the board).

I knew how the fandom would react to the scene, so I didn't like it for that part, but for itself as part of the story I didn't mind it.

It's again another Rorschach test for the audience. We already generally know what happened and that Lestat is the one responsible for crossing the ultimate line. The fine details of who did what otherwise don't matter at all. Lestat having injuries as well and Louis yelling at him don't change anything of what we already knew. A lot of the audience is looking for a way to actually tally the fight step by step or dumb shit like "mutual abuse" when that's not the thing to be looking at.

A lot of ppl want Louis to be more guilty just bc he's black, lbr. Lestat is the fandom favorite, this goes beyond the show into the book's histories. He's Lestat and he's white and the books don't hold him accountable for much of shit so the show doing it makes ppl feel a lot of things. The ways they want to lash out and defend him is similar to what these different angles of the fight are commenting on too. When u feel hurt, scared, unlovable, whatever, does that mean ur anger is justified to come out in ways that attack others? Especially if u think they're beneath u somehow or just wrong? Is there ever justification for hurting others? A lot of Lestat defenders are not asking these questions and instead are still seeking reasons why Lestat couldn't have been responsible for this himself, why Louis "had" to provoke him more or maybe have started it first after all. Ppl need to look at why they're bothered by this scene and ask what they're rly looking for in it, what feelings they're trying to soothe by doing that, and whether racial biases color those feelings too.

[luckyshouse]

your post about did helped me a lot i may or may not be a system but i have some people show up in my head sometimes and ones been around for a while so it means a lot to me and validating as im still very confused about it so thank you

of course! im more than happy that it helped. i speak from experience, i've been diagnosed with severe ptsd since i was twelve, and psychiatrists/therapists have brought up DID in the past, but for years i rejected the idea because i simply just don't line up with the typical presentations of DID. ive never felt like i had more than one person in my body, i've never had obvious or noticable switches, and everything i've ever done, i've always held a "oh yeah that sounds like me i did that" mentality, even if i didn't remember directly doing it. a lot of my DID symptoms are more internal than external, but even when it is internal, my alters do not come to me in the figures of people or even "Characters" most of the time. Just a large rotating wheel of concepts and aesthetics and occasionally kins, but even the kinning part is less about the character and more about the metaconcepts of the character and the tropes.

we live in a society in america that encourages people to bisect their identity even without DID, and i think that has contributed a lot to peoples experiences as well. even if you get all the help you can for PTSD, or feel like your trauma isn't that bad, the way society is set up to encourage you to splinter your identity and keep them seperate. that mixed with trauma is absolutely how you end up developing DID, and i think it's something thats left out of DID conversations all the time. another thing i think isn't spoken about enough is that DID is never the same as someone elses, and is primarily based on your preferred forms of escapism while you were a developing child. i believe the idea of DID having multiple people in one body may actually come from the older sorts of systems that existed before the internet, and before larger forms of escapism became common. with the internet, i feel like that's broadened the way people could develop DID as well, since it's easier than ever to get into rp spaces, or make ocs, or pretend to be different people, or distance yourself from your body. i know people whos alters genuinely do not come to them as characters, they embody themselves as a large processing machine and their "alters" are different apps they run on the computer for different tasks. when i was told about their experience, it sort of clicked for me, that this isn't a disorder about having "more people" in your brain, but an organizational system for your trauma and reactions/beliefs. it will always and forever be based off of how you existed as a child, and it never will fall under the rules of what people will try to tell you.

i think a lot of "syscourse" on tumblr has lead to a really terrible awful idea of what DID is and how someone can experience it, and has convinced people that they need to seek out "fake" systems. but even if a system WAS faking, they are still undeniably a person with PTSD and identity issues, and i don't see why assuming they are fake would help anyone in that situation. they still need help, they still need to cope, and they'd likely still benefit from plurality spaces. people see it as a very black and white issue, when in reality its like no system will ever be the same as the other, none of them will communicate the same, none of them will ever experience the same exact things, and this is because dissociative systems literally are based off of the persons family and life dynamics. no one lives the same life twice. there for no system exists the same twice.

i hope you have a good day! and i hope the ppl that show up in your head have a good one too

[aquatark]

Can I ask your opinion on Endless Ocean Luminous?

Thanks for the ask anon! :D

I've been trying to get my thoughts on this game together into something that makes sense for a while now, but no better time than the present!

tldr: I seem to like it more than most people! I think this game is alright though it's still very flawed, and I'm still enjoying myself with it, but it seems very clearly rushed and it shows. I'm still very happy that the series has a third entry at all, and am looking forward to the future of the series after this game!

...okay, now I'm gonna aimlessly ramble for wayyy too long lmao (spoilers under the cut if you haven't played)

So, to get a few of my biggest gripes out of the way:

Having completed it... the plot is god awful (esp the ending, iykyk). I think I would have preferred having none at all, but Daniel is cool

The English voice of Sera isn't ideal, though this is an issue other languages (like Japanese, French) don't seem to have

The setting, character development, and lore is much more shallow, uninteresting, and poorly-explored through gameplay than any other diving game Arika has made, which is saying a lot bc EO1's plot was invented pretty close to release, and is known for also not being great

The game doesn't run as smoothly as I'd like. maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I remember a time when devs didn't feel like they could release their game if it crashes as often online as this game does

Some of this game's creature textures are far less polished than they ought to be for a Switch game. Surprisingly, most of the ones ported from Arika's defunct mobile fishing game are fine! It's stuff like the megamouth shark and bigfin reef squid that really stand out to me as sub-par

I'm not as bothered about this as some ppl seem to be, but I would have liked a little more customization freedom, ala EO2's suit cuts

Many creature descriptions are copied verbatim from EO2, which I really dislike. wasted a perfect opportunity to highlight different aspects of creatures, not rehash the same tired and basic facts

Though I love the concept of dynamic time of day underwater, it's executed very poorly imo. Could have done with some more fine-tuning (something that could be said abt... a lot of this game lol)

All of this however only detracts a little from my enjoyment of the game overall.

The fact that something like the story can be shipped in the final product with a dev team that shares many many people with the original EO games (seriously, compare the staff lists on the wiki, I genuinely teared up seeing so many familiar faces again)... suggests to me that this game was subjected to crazy time constraints, though I don't have any concrete proof. Nintendo has been known recently to be anti-crunch with some of its biggest IPs, so maybe an Arika problem? Regardless, this game shouldn't have released in the condition it's in, and definitely should not be the price it is.

I really don't like being too negative though, so I won't be! After all, and this may be controversial coming from an EO blog... but the various flaws of Arika's previous diving games made this not be the biggest surprise to me. I mean, I 100%ed EO1, including collecting every salvage and getting all gear/hairstyles! Do you have any idea how hellish that is? I eat slop for breakfast!!

I've still been playing a lot of this game with my dear friend MDB (us pictured below), and there are a lot of things I like about it!

I will, for example, drool all over this game's sound design till the day my son "dies" in a tragic submarine accident. Ayako Saso (main talent behind Everblue 1/2, EO1/2, and Luminous' original compositions and sound in general) knocked it out of the park as usual, with the menu sfx feeling really Everblue reminiscent in a way I adore, and the music easily being some of the best in the series. I know many fans are disappointed by there being no vocal tracks, but honestly? While I like the fact EO1 and 2 had them, they simply wouldn't have fit in this game. So I'm chill about it.

I think the random generation and focus on multiplayer are fun and fresh for the series! I have EO1 and 2 when I want polished singleplayer gameplay, and this game when I feel like something else. EO1 and 2's multiplayer objectively sucked, so it's a really interesting angle to take. The gameplay loop is entertaining enough for me - I like salvaging, scanning creatures, collecting tags, and hunting orbs, both in solo and shared dives. The framework is solid, but could use a little more meat.

The fact they were finally able to realize the "Ancient Sea" concept that had been thrown around during development since EO1 is lovely. Despite having been a dinosaur kid, I'm not really knowledgeable on any of the species depicted in-game, so their designs don't bother me... I'm just a sucker for human ruins overrun by prehistoric life!

Though there are some categories of sea creature that I'm a little sad not to see anymore, like seadragons, sea slugs, and many marine mammals... I don't mind this game's different roster. I like the creature variety, because imo, it would have been a little boring and predictable to have the roster just be every creature that was previously in EO, plus some new ones. This system avoids the kind of problem Pokémon games are currently having, where they have so many critters that they can't possibly put them all in one game, but fans are upset not to have the entire dex ported, y'know? It's like playing EO for the first time again!

I've seen several people theorize that the series was "intentionally sabotaged with a bad new game, so that they have an excuse not to make any more EO games", and... I mean... all I'll say about that is that there's no use killing something that's already dead lol. There'd been no games for over a decade, and very little demand for one - why would a game company looking to make money put so much effort and money into marketing, development, pre-order bonuses, and My Nintendo rewards in order to create hype for a game that's bad on purpose... when they could have kept the series dead for free? Nintendo clearly believe the concept of diving games has legs (or fins ig), with a staff team who love the ocean and dive irl, and are trying new things to see if it sticks better than the previous four games they've made, which collectively sold worse than Luminous did.

It may not all be great, or even good, but experimentation and trying unconventional things is what made EO such a special series in the first place baybee! We just remember the parts of it we liked, and forget the really dumb stuff. The EO team has never been perfect, and I can see their smudgy fingerprints all over this game... I mean, these are the same devs who didn't notice a crash so bad it had their game recalled, and repeatedly yoinked copyrighted material without permission to use in their games... but that's a long post for another day lol.

Soooo yeah! Those are some of my thoughts! Feel free to express your own thoughts on the game here - I'd be curious what other people think, and I'd be more than happy to answer more asks on specific elements of the game, or just getting me talkin' about this game, or any other game in the series for that matter! Any EO questions at all, ask away~!

Thanks for reading, hehe! >( ')

[reilleclan-blog]

Ngl I really hate really really hate the shit I went thru and go thru. And ik ppl make jokes about "being traumatized adds lore" but that shit is so corny and I think ppl don't understand at all what suffering alone is really like and mind u there's been so many ppl in this world that have taken abuse but were never able to find a support system or anyone to care for them so they just continued to suffer.

For a long time I didn't even think anything was "wrong" with me I just thought everything was my fault and if I do "x, y,z" I'll get the love I deserve. That clearly ain't happen ... TW I was molested multiple times as a kid by my own family members and for so long I repressed it. Or thought that was ok to happen to me. I never told anyone or felt safe enough to tell anyone. And as I got older I had to deal with learning to love and hate and come to terms with a lot of stuff on my own.

I was beat heavily as a kid my dad wasn't around much and even when he was it always felt like I was a burden one way or another. I never felt like I mattered to my parents or my family and even when it came to school I was bullied for a while. Again I suffered so much on my own.. still suffering and it makes me wonder to this day if none of this had happened to me would I actually be able to trust someone with my heart. To trust someone with my life, to trust men in general, to trust my black community, ppl look at me as if idk. Like ppl say I'm "better than them" in reality I'm just dissociating. I'm trying to make it thru the day.

After I left home years ago(I'm back) but after I left and my grandma died, the thoughts constantly haunt me and I can't forget the bad things that happened to me. I can't love properly I can't even help myself. I feel alone all the time and I try to act like I'm fine but my past haunts me everyday. I confront it and idk ppl that really know me would call me strong and smart but I don't feel it. I just feel trapped. I'd say I wished fucked up shit never happened to me but I can't turn my time. So this is my life, constantly feeling misunderstood, unloved, unsupported.. but yeah "trauma adds lore" do ppl know what trauma is ptsd? And the fact is idk how I'm still whole idk how I still find my self trying to exist thru this mess. I guess I feel like obito when the 10tails was taking over his consciousness but he somehow remained obito because he remembered his sense of self or whatever. But idk why do I even do it. For what most of the ppl I love are dead died all within the same years and I'm supposed to just keep going. Literally for what . Also I envy the ppl that never got molested by their family, I envy the ppl that don't have fucked up intrusive thoughts BECAUSE OF THAT MOLESTATION. I envy the ppl that can afford something I could never when I was super poor growing up. Why is this world so fucking cruel. I hate this place

"My intrusive thoughts win" yeah u can't even imagine how fucked up someone's mind can be from this shit but every little mental health issue is turned into some joke all the time. Especially if ur a black girl that self diagnoses herself as autistic .. I swear it's like ppl don't know real struggle a lot of ppl love to cosplay that this world is so fucking weird man. I wish I wasn't me maybe

[possessesnightshift]

my lord seeing all the posts talking about not voting for joe biden like...

im not even gonna push my personal opinion. i just want people to take the time to earnestly reflect about what they're deciding to do

as in. just think "what is the impact of my decision?" think about what would come about if you voted for biden, or against biden, or third party, or (likely the most popular other option ppl want to pursue) didn't vote AT ALL.

then reflect on the actual issues that matter enough to sway your vote. think about palestine. think about queer liberation & disability advocacy. think about the writer's strike and the actors strike and unionizing. think about the environment. the fucking economy. basically anything that's defined the political landscape of the 2020s.

and then circle back to "what is the point of making this specific choice?" in regards to voting in the 2024 election. if you want to make any of these issues better, ask yourself if those changes will be easier to make under a trump administration or a biden administration. would trump be better for palestine than biden? the environment? the economy? even if he's worse than biden in a lot of areas, is there one special issue that could push him over the edge? what are you trying to accomplish with this vote (or lackthereof)?

the reason i felt compelled to lay it all out in this specific manner is quite simple. i want to emphasize something important.

i feel like a lot of people planning to protest their vote for Joe Biden see themselves as possessing a moral high ground with respect to our corrupt political system. by refusing to participate and play the game, you're avoiding complicity in a machine designed to grind people up and spit out their bodies for the sake of profit. i get it. i know exactly why you don't want to take part in something so horrible.

but you DO.

even if you don't want to. you are a part of this system.

withholding a vote isn't exempting you from anything. you are still making a decision. a decision that impacts your life, the lives of those around you, and of course the lives of people overseas caught up in our country's colonialist bullshit

i promise you nobody is keeping score. you won't get extra woke points in heaven because you didn't vote for someone who does bad things. say hypothetically we lived in a country like australia with compulsory voting, and protesting your vote was literally not an option. what would people say then? would the anti-genocide crowd encourage you to vote for trump? vote third party? do these choices make sense??

because at the end of the day, we have 2 choices. we can continue sucking ass. or we can bring in someone else to suck ass EVEN HARDER.

i'm not sure what i can say beyond this much. i get how easy it is to turn off your brain and rail against anyone challenging an opinion that, from your perspective, feels beyond the realm of criticism. these people do not have bad intentions. our brains can't think in terms of stupid political games. we see a man encouraging a genocide running for re-election, and the LAST thing we want to do is reward him.

but the system is illogical by design. (see electoral college for more info.) you can't make it make sense. these people in power aren't gonna buckle to your pressure based on morality or shame because they have none. they know exactly what the fuck is going on. they know what they're doing, and they're doing it on purpose.

if republicans can accept that holding your nose and playing the bs voting game can make the system work in their favor, why the fuck can't college educated socialists come to the same conclusion?

whatever you decide to do come november, just be honest about why you're doing it. whether it's about gaza or trans people or even just the prices of groceries always increasing, it doesn't matter. i know what change i want to see in the world, and i'm doing what i can to help move the needle in that direction.

[miradelletarot]

Thank you @waterdeepwhiskey for the tag!!

I tag @tavyliasin @morb-untamed @ex-textura and else who wants to join the fun! (so deeply sorry if you already did this though. Hard to keep up with who does these things anymore lol).

BASICS

Full name: Sagora Crefort (well, she's Sagora Dekarios now hehe).

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight (but she's definitely explored other options a bit in her youth).

Background: Outlander

Class: Circle of the Moon Druid

OTHER

Birthplace: A small, matriarchal family grove about a tenday outside of Baldur's Gate

Profession: She was *supposed* to be First Druid of her grove after her mother died, but the ilithids took her first.

Phobias: Spiders. She HATES spiders. So much so, that she refuses to use her spider form unless she TRULY needs to use it.

Guilty pleasures: She mayyy or may not enjoy that Waterdhavian Whiskey Gale mentioned once a bit too much, and when she's good and tipsy she channels her inner stripper dancer. (This totally didn't happen in camp that one time when all they had for dinner was a bunch of alcohol.)

Hobbies: meditation, yoga (or whatever the Faerun version of that would be lol)

MORALS

Alignment: Neutral Good

Sins: b/c of her past, she's got a lot of trust issues, and that tends to make her very cold towards ppl she doesn't care about. She also has a tendency to say what's on her heart a bit too bluntly if (again, someone she really cares about) is doing something stupid in her perspective (example: Gale feeling like he has to do what Mystra says about using the orb). She had some VERY BIG FEELINGS about that, and wasn't shy about it either. She also wasn't very nice. When she gets that angry she enters into the "act first, and apologize later" territory.

Virtues: Trying to live up to the standards of First Druid that her mother would have been proud of. She's also extremely thoughtful, and tries to do whatever she can to make those around her feel happy and safe as much as she possibly can. Her and Astarion didn't get along very well at first for that reason, but when she promised to help him with Cazador (and delivered on that promise,) he had a lot more respect and appreciation for her, and her desire to help those around her.

THIS OR THAT

Introvert / Extrovert

Organized / Disorganized

Close-minded / Open-minded

Calm / Anxious / Restless

Disagreeable / Agreeable / In between

Cautious / Reckless / In between

Patient / Impatient / In between

Outspoken / Reserved / In between

Leader / Follower / Flexible

Empathetic / Unempathetic / In between

Optimist / Pessimist / Realist

Traditional / Modern / In between

Hard-working / Lazy

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

OTP: Sagora/Gale (Vineweave!) <3

Acceptable Ships: Gale has her heart. No one else compares.

OT3: None. While Sagora is a half-elf (and rather accustomed to these sorts of relationships,) she respects Gale's monogamous preferences. She loves him so deeply that she would never want to disrespect his boundaries, and thus, the only one she will ever need/want/desire is him. =>

Brotp: Sagora and Karlach. K bae is her ride or die. Hands down!

Notp: Anything Mystra. Fuck that wish.com Barbie ass bitch!

BACKSTORY

The daughter of a Baldurian Merchant, and next in line to be First Druid in her family's grove, Sagora endured the separation of her family when her father was threatened by The Guild - with her, her sister, and mother as the targets. Sagora's strong-willed personality brought her defiantly back to Baldur's Gate to be with her father when she was violently assaulted. The attack left her unconscious for over a tenday, waking up back in her grove with orders to never return to Baldur's Gate. When her mother died, she set out to return to her childhood home to send word to her father when she was captured by the ilithids. Now, her task is to survive not only for the sake of the Sword Coast, but to return to her family's grove, and take her rightful place as the new First Druid.

...Or will she? my fic series was meant as not just a Gale x Sagora romance, but as a means to share/write out her backstory! You can read it here!

[ucannotkillmeinawaythatmatters]

im rewatching Moon Knight while I embroider, so I figured why not post about it!! I still haven't unlocked the gif ability everyone on here seems to have, so I'm just gonna have to describe everything without proof. this is gonna be an in depth, long, and rambly post, so you can read the rest after the cut if you'd like!!

episode 1: the goldfish problem

so a lot of this episode is establishing Steven and the situation that he's in. it's kinda sad cuz on the surface level, he has a nice life. he's got a job, a big flat, he calls his mom pretty often. but when you look deeper it gets sadder. the main thing that sticks out is how lonely Steven is

JB doesn't know his name, the only person he can talk to is a statue person that doesn't respond back, his boss is mean. he's so lonely in fact that he accepts a date with a person he doesn't really know to a STEAK HOUSE.

(I have my own theory about how that was Jake who was trying to be nice and get a date for Steven?? maybe?? bc it's highly unlikely that marc, who has a wife, would do that. and even if you tried to argue that marc did it for Steven, why would he then go and make him miss it?? plus, I'm certain he knows that Steven is a vegan. which also makes you wonder why Jake didn't notice that detail, but I digress)

(side note number two, Steven is good with kids and I'll die on that hill. the scene where he's explaining things about mummification to that little girl?? answering her questions patiently and excitedly?? yeah, he's a hit with them, I promise you. and not just when he's talking about his Special Interest. also the foreshadowing of that girl asking him if it sucked to get rejected from the field of reeds?? I'm sickkkk)

and ofc, there's the main issue of steven falling asleep in his bed and waking up in the middle of nowhere without a clue as to how he got there. I'd like to take a second to commend Stevens intelligence here!! anke restraints, sand around the bed, tape on the door?? I would never even think of these things.

either way, none of it works and he wakes up in the middle of goddamn nowhere, injured and hurting at that!! (even if khonshu fixed it, he still sounded like he was in pain for a while there). people are shooting at him, he's so so desperately trying to give this strange man (who he just witnessed kill a woman mind you) the beetle but he can't, and all the while a strange voice is berating him every two seconds. again kudos to Steven bc I could never. I would have been crying the moment I heard the gunshots.

(Jake theory again. I'm so certain that a lot, if not all of the car stuff was Jake. I love marc, but I refuse to believe he could manage those car skills, while shooting at ppl, while on the a narrow road of a fucking mountain. nahhhh that was all my boy Jake)

(also note that when Steven first woke up in the grass after Marc?? jumped and fell fourish stories?? khonshu called him a worm. and then further specified and called him "the idiot." I firmly believe that khonshu calls Steven AND Jake worms/parasites, it's just that Stevens the idiot and Jakes the competent one ig)

and waking up after all of that like nothing happened must have been so frustrating. I know Marc was just trying to protect him, but instead Stevens just being gaslighted and facing psychological warfare. so everywhere he goes he's faced with signs that he might be crazy or he might not be. ex: gus suddenly having one fin, the time being wrong, Marc appearing in the mirror and talking to him completely unhelpfully, khonshu FUCKING TORMENTING HIM FOR NO REASON, but also the burner phone he found, harrow being real, and the dog creature I can't remember the name of!!

so much of this episode was Steven being scared and unhappy and overwhelmed and it makes me sad!! he's so precious and sweet, he doesn't deserve to be going thru any of that.

(also I'm never ever gonna get over the cinematography and thematics of the mirrors in the museum bathroom. first of all mirrors cool. second, the hints at his multiplicity thru the infinite images of the bathroom, but with Marc in only one of the reflections. I'm gonna be fucking sick)

so yeah!! those are most of my thoughts. I know that pictures and gifs are a huge part of making a post Not Boring and I'm gonna use them as soon as I learn how istg

[destinyc1020]

Confessions, I wish there were more dark skinned females leads in Hollywood. It’s disheartening that in 2023 the only representation we had was in the 90s and early 00s. What makes matters worse is the those films and tv shows meant nothing because black creatives own nothing in Hollywood. I think Tyler Perry is the only black creative that owns a studio. I’m aware this is toned deaf due to the strike, but the Tiana casting for live action really put me in a bad mood lol. Ppl were fan casting Zendaya lol.

I’m aware that she would never take it cause she only takes roles that are for whites women lol, but the fact not dark skinned actress is ever gonna get to that level she’s gotten to (rightly deserved due to Disney, marvel and fashion) her career is a dime in a dozen. Even Halle berry in her peak never got to a level commercially like her white counterparts. She found solace career wise in black films and producing.

Zendaya is outperforming her white peers but it’s crazy how for black creatives we are only allowed one but in the music industry there’s a plethora of black women of different shades and shapes thriving. I really hope I don’t come across bitter or that I don’t like Zendaya success cause ppl do love to use her as a scapegoat ( the Keke scandal last year is an example). It’s just crazy that as we become technologically advanced, the lack of opportunity is sparse and the talent is there. Like there’s no black lady bird film?

That’s my confession/rant lol.

Happy Sunday!

First off anon.... Thanks so much for your confession. 🙏🏾

I'm almost getting emotional because I've felt the same way for a long time, and I can relate to just about everything you said in your ask... 🥺

I'll try to keep it semi-brief... To me, I feel like there ARE talented young, dark-skinned, black women in Hollywood.... but like you said, they're just not being given the same amount (or even same type) of roles as other women in the industry who are of lighter hues. 😔

For some reason, Hollywood has no issue with hiring darker black women once they hit 45 and up... We have Viola, Angela, Octavia, etc, all doing massively well (imo), and being cast in all types of lead and supporting roles in mainstream films....

But for SOME reason, when it comes to casting darker YOUNG black women (especially American) in roles, it's almost like Hollywood forgets that younger darker skinned black women under 35 even exist! 🤔

I've been noticing the pattern for a few years.

And no, I know you don't mean anything negative about Zendaya.... Zendaya has an AWESOME career.... and she basically started from the ground up (no Nepo or rich parents for her!), she worked hard, she's ambitious, she spreads out her work to include ambassadorships/modeling/TV/film, she honed her craft, she didn't overstep her boundaries or immediately go after lead roles on the big screen before she could handle it.... etc.. Like, she's done AMAAZING in Hollywood, and has really started to build an empire (imo) if that's the route she eventually wants to go in. 👏🏾

The only other black young woman in HW who I would say is even somewhat close to what Z is doing is probably Keke..... but even Keke isn't on the same level as Z. Honestly, I don't think there's any young darker-skinned actress out here in the industry who's doing it like Zendaya. Shhhhtt..... even the white actresses aren't doing it like Zendaya right now lol 😆 So, it's def rare....

But you're right.... it's almost like Hollywood forgets that young black women darker than a paper bag even exist. 🤷🏾‍♀️ When they ONLY use light skinned young actresses for black representation, the black women who AREN'T lighter than a paper bag, or biracial, etc can start to feel left out and not represented at all. 😔

Don't get me wrong, SOME representation is better than none lol 😆 👀

But imo, Hollywood can definitely do better. I would LOVE to see a wholesome Lady Bird type of film, but for black women. 😃

I'm VERY excited about the new "Color Purple" musical film coming out, but if the musical is anything like the original film, that's yet ANOTHER film featuring black actresses that (yet again!) have to deal with trauma, suffering, angst, and struggle.... 🥴 Why can't we get some HAPPY stories for a change? 😅 Do ppl just love watching us struggle onscreen or smthg?

Anyway, let me stop rambling coz I've already said way too much as is. 😞

BTW, Oprah owns Harpo Studios I believe? 🤔 So Tyler isn't the only one IIRC.

[miyamiwu]

unpop bllk opinion: Chigiri having his arc so soon was fine because his issue wasn't as complex as the other characters issues. Most of the other Bllk boys have issues where they feel like they have to prove themselves to be worthy, but Chigiri had already entered Blue Lock with a lot of self confidence in his abilities so his problem didn't involve that. He struggled with trying to find a reason to keep going because he already knew he was good at the game, not with "Am I worthy enough to even be here?" and that's also kinda why isagi was really harsh to him during their conversation.

And anyways, I just feel like if they built Chigiri's mystery up until a much later point, the pay off just wouldn't have been worth it compared to all the other issues everyone else is facing or whatever. Like it'd be disappointed to wonder what's going on Chigiri if we learned about it like...after we learned about Bachira or Reo or Nagi.

So I kind of get why he was the first we got to learn about since his issue isn't as complex and is pretty short (less writing involved and all that)

I do hope we get to see him score more goals in the future though, and I get why ppl think he's kinda boring now (because the curtains been unveiled and now he's just there lol)

Hmm… perhaps the word “early” is not right. When I say “early” when referring to Chigiri’s arc, I simply mean that we didn’t see enough of him pre-development. Chigiri’s arc involves a big personality change, and for that to feel impactful, the audience must first be invested in the previous personality. However, Chigiri’s mysterious/quiet side was only shown to us for a while. It was then quickly dismissed before the audience could get curious about him.

Like, there has to be suspense first. We get to appreciate something more if it’s done gradually and not all of a sudden.

Look at other character arcs involving a personality change: Eren from Attack on Titan, Leo from Pandora Hearts, and even Mob from MP100. Their stories are completely different and shouldn’t be compared with Chigiri’s, but I want to point out here that their personality change was so stark that people couldn’t help but reminisce about their previous personality. But for Chigiri, there’s none of that. It’s as if his mysterious side never even existed.

And since Isagi’s the protagonist, through whom we get to know other people’s stories, there should have been more interactions between him and Chigiri before the latter’s arc. You have to expect at least that for a character set as one of the main four in this series.

But before the set-up for Chigiri’s arc (which started when he and Isagi watched that footage together), we don’t even see them talking to each other. Nor have we seen Isagi at least commenting about Chigiri in his head. A simple thought of “why is this guy so uncooperative” would have been enough. Or, the author could’ve let Isagi respond to when Chigiri said that Ego shouldn’t be completely trusted, or at least let Isagi think about his words in his head.

Even better, we could’ve had a scene of Isagi complaining about Chigiri taking too long to get to their meetings, and then cue in a panel of Chigiri actually taking care of his injury without anyone in Team Z knowing. That would’ve made the audience curious: Is he injured? How bad is it? That could’ve also built indignance among the audience! Shut up, Isagi. You really don’t know what he’s going through.

Or, if they want to make the injury less obvious, maybe just show a panel of Chigiri doing his stretches.

Like, there are so many ways that the author could’ve built up Chigiri while still having his character arc as early as in the First Selection. But they didn’t do that. Yukimiya’s backstory got more build-up, and he’s not even one of the main characters.

I get what you mean though that Chigiri’s arc being revealed after Bachira’s, Reo’s, or Nagi’s would make it less impactful. But as for his backstory not being too complex, I disagree.

I mean, look at Barou. His backstory is much more simple. Like Chigiri, he also came to Blue Lock already confident. His backstory is simply that he was put on a pedestal since he was young and it got into his head. But part of the reason Barou’s arc feels more satisfying is because we see a lot of him pre-development. We see him interact with Isagi several times in the First Selection, and we see him exchange insults with Nagi in the Second Selection. We, the audience, got so much of him that we started to find him annoying, so when his arc came, it was a big fucking finally.

If Chigiri were just any other side character, maybe I wouldn’t care much. But since he’s being set up as one of the main four, I really expect more of him.

Someone on Twitter also mentioned how Chigiri was a victim in the Germany vs England match. There was only one chapter about him, and then it was as if he wasn’t part of the story. His character was sidelined to make way for the intersecting stories of Nagi, Reo, Yukimiya, Isagi, and Kaiser. Chigiri was like an extra who just appeared once in a while to show a cool move or two. His story no longer affects the plot.

It’s such a shame though because his character has so much potential. I really hope the author can turn things around

[respitelocklyre]

⚠️ Failed to post due to network connectivity issues. Please check that your connection is stable and try again.

[The following session summary is set up as a series of fast-paced tweets from Respite's private account, none of which posted successfully.]

>Heyyy so this is a longshot but does anyone here know spells that can undo, like, idk... transmutation magic? I think I messed w some fae shit and now im tiny and trapped inside an enchanted dollhouse lol [Attached are pictures of gigantic furniture, as seen from through a window, presumably from inside said dollhouse]

>As if my date night hasnt been going badly enough im gonna kms

>Okay for some context, if u follow my insta or dinkdonk u know im at the seelie market tonight and everything seemed rlly fun but it turns out there's some dark shit happening. so we wanted to snoop more while their main show was going on.

>(like ENSLAVEMENT kinda dark shit btw- we're trying to help ppl! there's a hag running the market and holding ppl hostage!! including my friend's sister maybe!!! I promise I'll have a whole other post abt that later tho lol)

>Anyways i talked to the guy running the ring toss & he said the show would be like 30min but didn't know if the big bad boss lady (Madame) would be there or not so we were being sooooo careful

>We even checked for divination magic but Sersh didn't find ANY magic at all, which was ultimately WAY more sus. Thad kept saying we should just leave which, like, FAIR, but i felt like we couldn't just go back empty-handed (mistake)

>Can't go into too much detail but i found my way into the totally unlocked Madame's caravan to try and search for the contracts keeping everyone enslaved. it was full of puppets and dolls and dresses and this crazy ornate dollhouse (foreshadowing)

>Also wait omg i almost got caught while sneaking in, but i used a bunch of cantrips to make everyone think there was an earthquake and then i pretended to be one of the marionettes inside the caravan when the goblin workers came to investigate lolol suckers totally fell for it

>And once they were gone i found a key and a couple slips of paper inside a wardrobe! The papers were these weird fairytales. Does anyone recognize them??? [Attached images of the uploaded document/story from the DM]

>The key went into a slot in the dollhouse so naturally, if a key fits im gonna turn it, right??? it must've been trapped tho bc that shit knocked me TF out

>So that's where im at rn. I just kinda woke up inside the dollhouse. im gonna keep trying to call my bf or my party but the service is spotty af. Any advice is appreciated 😭

>^^^For legal reasons this is all a joke btw and i didn't do any of this. Making it up for clout, etc etc

>Kind of urgent

>Also OMG I almost forgot the most important part: one of my party members showed me his fucking SOUNDCLOUD and it was so 💀💀💀 PLEASE go give it a listen and tell me ur thots lol his handle is @/ThadyT

>like dont be mean or comment anything bc he'll know whats up so be cool but omfg i just need someone else to listen to this alfkjasldf;fdhg

>Oh shit i dont think these are posting LMAAOOOO RIP TO ME 🪦 SEE U GUYS IN THE SHADOWFELL IG 🫡🐦‍⬛👑

[swallowtail-ageha]

Wait, so you like Amelia x Fauxefka? Could you tell more? 👀

Ok so this won't get very long because i Do Not Have any exact headcanons the way i usually have them but like. Heavy childhood friends turned into lovers type of relationship bcs i imagine them both being raised in the orphanage (i'm one of the guys who thinks that the orphanage isn't a mass experimentation site but a mass indoctrination one and the children who lived in it became members of the choir). They probably bonded over being study buddies (and the fact that while their parents were thecnically around because they were members of the church they were de facto abandoned) they give me that vibe. They defo bathed together while sipping blood or wine to "stimulate their intellectual activity"

There is certainly a lot of love between the two of them and i hc that the main reason why fauxefka (who still lacks a name because i for the love of god can't find one who vibes enough with me) decided to align herself more with the eldirtch side of things to the point of leaving the upper cathedral ward and experimenting onto her sister (i do think however that this act in particular wasn't caused only by the amelia thing but also because they had. Deep issues between each other that none of them could talk out of) to turn ppl into aliens to save them from beasthood is because she knows that amelia (who has a blood addiction problem) was going to end transformed into a cleric beast someday and fauxefka knows you can't pray the beast away because it will only get worse (amelia however was in complete denial over this thing because at that point her religion was one of the few things that gave her the strength to continue)

I also think that they have a sort of unhealthy relationship (because i physically can't make a 100% pure wholesome ship if i try to do that i'll combust into flames) but surprisingly more on the amelia part and not the fauxefka one because i see fauxefka as a very passionate (even if manipulative at times) person who takes interest in those whom she cares about while amelia is the more negletful one who is more concerned about the past and those that she lost than the ones she has now and this feeling only got worse after she became vicar and the situation of the town got unsalvageable. If she were a modern girl she would probably listen to jenny of oldstones on repeat and think "she is just like me fr fr"

I like to think that if they both had survived the night they would have slowly gotten over their issues mainly bcs. I already know that in canon they didn't get an happy ending so i want them to be happy at least in an alternate reality

So yeah! Here are all my thoughts about them for now

[lewyn-martell]

I find it rather ironic that Daemon complained a lot to Viserys about taking him away from his side, so that in the end Daemon was not with Viserys when he was dying from his illness.

Yeah, I find it pretty funny sjhbjhbd but in all seriousness, I think a few aspects of irony (the noun and also in a literary sense, ig) are often present in tragedy for a reason. The characters involved don't want things to go badly and whether the audience knows it or not, we watch as they march towards the worst version of their lives because of a mixture of choices and circumstances, that makes it all feel inevitable. Their own expectations turning into the opposite by their own hands. They had no other choices to make but they had all the choices available. You know??

If Daemon was a different sort of guy, if being close to each other wasn't so damn hurtful and complicated, if they weren't carrying the feelings they are, if they weren't royals, if the family wasn't an incestfest, yadda yadda… maybe then they could reconcile, understand what they feel and what they do so as to not keep feeding actions that lead them to the exact opposite of what they strive for. But then what kind of people would they even be. I hope I'm making sense hasjhuah

I also really like how it's another thing that shows us how much Daemon is vulnerable and an open wound when it concerns Viserys. Usually, no one would say Daemon is a weak guy, but what else could you say about him in that situation? Alicent, she is the one who is strong. She was tied to this man when she was still a teenager and I would never expect a single thing for her (in fact, I would be on her side if she did her worst), but she's been by his side and looking at his disease in the face, she has been dancing around trying to please and protect both sides of her family. She has been watching the man wither away like a ticking time bomb until she has to deal with an issue that she DOESN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH (she doesn't want to supplant Rhaenyra. She still loves her, even when she hates her. But her son exists. Her children exist. She was married to Viserys and all the issues created by this union still exist and it still hurt her. What other choice does she have?? All of them, none of them, whatever. Sorry to the "I wish Alicent was just power hungry" ppl but I think that makes her both kind of a badass and a great tragic figure).

Sorry to derail, but yeah, Alicent is there. Caring for him and doing her best for him, making herself miserable for him. She was even able to develop a companionship of sorts with him. And she should hate this man. Daemon loves Viserys and he can't even look at him. He'd rather keep running away. He's absolutely terrified by the thought of him dying and all he has to face because of it (all their baggage and all they didn't get to do and say to each other. And the fact that he will have to carry it alone). Of course, the intensity of their feelings for the man himself is a factor, but they are both before something that they don't want to happen.

Daemon did get to have his moment, taking Viserys up those steps and crowning him. But it was so bittersweet because it was all he could do. They don't get a do-over, they don't have any more time. At most, this is a recognition. All those years we fought about whether you should be taking these steps alone or accept me there, and whether I would ever put the crown on your head when it fell off, it's all so silly now. Of course we should be here for each other, meeting up halfway, me helping and you allowing it. Of course I still want it. But it's the same issue I said in the beginning. They could only ever say this now, at this moment. It's how it is with doomed relationships.