#and no joke like 10 seconds after I finished watching the trailer my mind immediately went to a possible Bowuigi Vampire AU

[itsamenickname]

I have an interesting Bowuigi idea:

Do you guys know/remember that one episode of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! where Bowser is a vampire and he wants Peach to become his vampire bride?

Well, what if we do that same idea, but the twist is that Bowser wants Luigi to become his vampire bride?

[ghostdummieideas]

A Grave Mistake 2/?

Part 2 to the Goore series. Thank you Raine and Birdy for Beta reading this chapter!

When you woke up the next morning, you thought the whole cemetery fiasco was a nightmare. Just a silly dream that your brain created to show your anxiety for the recent job. Your eyes scanned to the electric alarm clock on your nightstand: 8:45 AM. First, you need to get a cup of coffee in your system. Second of all, you need to get your reading assignment done today. With a stretch across the bed, you stand up to start your day.  As you stride across the hall, your eyes land on something crumpled in a dirty heap by the entrance of the apartment.

The conquest for coffee was pushed aside as you approached the foreign object. You crouched down and picked up what looked to be a ratty old coat with faded lettering on the back. The remnant of letters read, ‘Woodland Cemetery’. The cemetery. Last night wasn’t a dream. You ran before you finished your first shift.

The thought of the consequences for doing so sent a shiver down your back. In the midst of the chase, the security office never crossed your mind as an option for a sanctuary. Jacket in hand, you scramble through the flat to find your phone. You had two notifications: one missed call and one voicemail, both from your boss. Knowing that you can’t hide from your mistake forever, you have to do the right thing. Gritting your teeth, you unlock the screen to listen to the voicemail.

The old man’s voice crackled on the speaker, “Hey kid, we need to talk. Call me when you’re available”. 

You bopped your phone against your forehead and whined in dismay. “I fucked up. I fucked up, and he’s going to say I’m fired.”

Taking a couple of concentrated breaths, you press ‘call back’, and place the phone against your ear. You hoped the old man would be asleep or busy doing whatever he does in his free time. Your silent prayers were ignored as you heard the familiar blip of the phone being answered. “Hello? Who is this?” your boss’s garbled voice came through.

“Hi boss. I’m so sorry about last night’s shift. I can explain!” Feeling your throat tighten from nervousness, you take a deep breath. When you were ready to explain the corpse man, you stopped. You can’t say that, you’d sound like a lunatic. ‘I ran into this bloody man and he chased me during my shift’ would sound like a sorry excuse that a teenager would use to explain why their homework is missing. “A racoon frightened me and the office didn’t cross my mind when I was running. I’m so sorry.”

The line was silent for a second before a sigh broke the silence. “I saw you running in the camera feed. Look, don’t run off during your shift again. Do you plan on going tonight?”

The question left you stunned. Do you want to come back to the cemetery? He’s not going to fire you for running off. Before you can think, you answered, “Yes, I’ll come to tonight’s shift. Do I come at the same time as yesterday?”

“Yes, same time, same place. See you then. Get some sleep kid. Bye.”

The line dies as your boss hangs up. Your shoulders drop, the death grip on the jacket in your hand loosens. You still have a job. Great. You might run into a corpse man again. Not so great. You walk over to the kitchen, take a seat, and slouch over the table. You’re going to need more than a pot of coffee today.

------------------------------

When your shift rolled around, you walked back to the small trailer in the far right of the field. You pressed the doorbell to alert your boss of your arrival. With a buzz, the door unlocked to let you in. You step into the office and close the door quietly behind you. 

“Hi boss”, you greeted the old man. This time the cue-ball had an aged ball cap on his head. He was also wearing a similar jacket to your own. The rolling chair squeaked as your boss scooted from his desk and stood up. He gave you an indifferent look before he adjusted the cap. “We have a camera knocked on the far back of the place. Some kids knocked them off this morning. Your coworker was able to fix most of the cameras, but we got two more to replace.”

You watched your boss pick up two walkie talkies from the left of the computer monitor. As he shuffled across the room, he stuffed one into his pocket and handed you the spare. "Thanks," you muttered out of politeness before you took the device and stuffed it into your empty pocket. He then walked over to the table next to the door to grab the boxes piled on top. He reached in and grabbed two orange-colored boxes, handing you one of them. Examining the box, you noticed a logo with the word ‘security camera’ printed on the side. 

“We’re going to need a couple items from the storage shed. We’ll need a ladder, screwdriver, and… you still have the flashlight, right?” 

 You fished around in your pockets before you found it, pulling the item out to show him. He nods in approval. Grabbing the massive piles of keys from the lockbox, both of you tread through the grass to the shed. Breaking the silence, you addressed the elephant in the room. 

“Thank you for giving me another chance, boss.” 

Both of you stopped in front of the wooden building with a pad lock blocking the latch. As your boss searched for the right key, he addressed your statement.

“It’s fine, kid,” he sighed. “People usually have a fight-or-flight response and you did what you had to do to stay safe. We commonly associate cemeteries with awful stuff, so I’m not mad at you for running away.”

He unlocked and opened the door to the shed. Without looking back, he clicked the light switch to illuminate the interior. Stuffing his keys in his pocket, he strutted into the building and plucked the materials for the job.

“From your background check, you seem like the type to work hard. You’re not the type to run off and party like some college kids. You have a goal in mind and you’re using whatever is in your arson and you are doing the best you can. It’s hard to find good youngsters like you.” 

This left you at a loss for words. Your impression of your boss differed from your first meeting. The bitter old man, who was courteous enough to leave trash bags in your pocket to make your job easier, now complemented you verbally. A complement you shouldn’t be receiving after last night’s stunt.

After he had gathered everything he needed, your boss stepped out of the shed and locked it behind him. “Take a tool box and ladder for yourself, kid. If anything goes wrong or a vermin chases you off again, you can call me.”

You nodded in agreement, “Yes boss”. 

Tucking the security camera under your arm, you picked up the small ladder and tool box. After confirming where you needed to go, both of you went on your separate ways to fix the damaged property. Lugging the items to the location was one thing, the remains of the previous camera was a bigger problem. Whoever the kids were, they did a magnificent job at smashing the camera from this angle. They knocked it off from the adjustable base that connected to the wall of the building. The smashed camera barely hung from the cable that was tacked to the roof. With a sigh, you put the items down on the ground, picking up the ladder and setting it in place. You reached into your pocket and put the flashlight in place. Turning it on, you rummaged into the toolbox to find a screwdriver. Once successful, you opened up the box to unravel the packaging from the new camera.

Cradling the new camera in the crook of your arm, you climb up the ladder and get to work. Taking the old camera down from the cable wasn’t that bad. Unscrewing the base proved to be a slight problem as one hole was bent from whatever impact it received. An hour later, the new camera was in place and the smashed pieces were sprawled across the grass. 

Once you got down from the ladder you rolled your shoulders to release the tension on your neck. At least that was a pleasant change from being nose deep into your books this morning. Reaching into your pocket, you produced your walkie talkie. Pressing the button on the side, you asked, “Boss ya there?” You waited two seconds before the block crackled back. 

“Yea? You done there?” your boss’s garbled voice reverberated back.

“Yes, I’m done setting up the new camera. I’m going to take a ten here before heading back to the supply shed.”

“I’m in the office. No vermin?”

You briefly paused. Was this a small joke or a genuine concern? “No boss, not a single vermin in sight so far.”

“10-4” he mumbled before the line went silent again. 

Speaking of vermin, you haven’t seen that guy again. A shiver ran down your back at the memory of the zombie. You don’t want to see him again. Not on this shift, not in the future either. 

Stuffing the black brick into your pocket, you took a minor break before you headed back to the shed. Sitting down on the second step of the ladder, you let out a sigh of relief. You tilted your head, rolling your muscles and looking up at the night sky.

The clouds covered the sky, not a single star appeared amongst the sea of gray fluff. Deep down you wished you could see a sliver of the moon or stars. You felt tranquil when you could see them in the night sky. No matter which town you were in, someone from across the country would see the same orb burning in the dark. It was nice to know you weren’t the only one looking up at the same atmosphere. It made you feel less lonely in a time like this.

 A crunch pulls you out of your thoughts. You looked behind to see the last person you wanted to see tonight: The goddamn corpse boy. He had his back towards you, and you immediately went into flight mode, your body flinging itself from your resting spot. The quick movement caused the ladder to topple over and crash into the soft ground.

The man stopped to turn his attention to you. From his hunched position, your flashlight illuminated his face. Fresh blood smeared down from his forehead. Gray paint contoured his cheek and eyes in an unflattering manner. Instead of accentuating his features, it made him look more gaunt. From afar his eyes looked dark and lifeless, devoid of any color. From this distance you couldn’t tell if it was drool coming down his chin, but something other than blood was running down his face.

The man straightened, wiping the spit-like substance off his chin with the back of his hand. You barely noticed his change in stance because all of your attention was focused on the pocket knife held in his bloody hand. With no time to lose, you made a mad dash towards the office.

“NO NO NO NO NO”, you shouted in your desperation to get to the sanctuary. The night was going so peacefully. Why did he have to ruin it? How the hell did he even get a knife? Was he buried with it? Whatever the answer was, you weren't sticking around to find out. 

To not bash yourself into the office door, you use your hands to reduce the impact against your body. You banged on the door, “Boss, let me in! Hurry!” You kept frantically twisting the doorknob, wanting to get in the second it unlocked. 

Once the door opened, you quickly slid inside and shut the door. Chest heaving from the activity, you pressed yourself against the only entrance to the trailer office. Your boss gave you a look of concern as he slightly rolled to the side in his chair.

“Vermin?” he asked questionably. 

“No, there’s a man covered in blood in the cemetery. He has a knife with him so I came running down here” you huffed. 

Your boss cocked his brow, but you could tell from the look in his eye, he didn’t doubt you. He turned back to the monitor and checked the surveillance screen for the guy you described. “The camera you set up is live.. I don’t see anyone there..” he muttered into the hand that propped his chin. You strode over to the side of your boss to examine the screen. Just like he said, the zombie man was nowhere to be found. Deep down, you felt your frustration rise from within you. 

“I’m going to lose my shit because of this zombie fucker,” you groaned under your breath. 

Extra

Mary stood there as he watched the grave worker from the night before scream and run away. His face scrunched in disgust at their rude reaction. “I guess they don’t want a slice,” he shrugged. Knife in hand, he carved another slice of apple and brought the piece to his mouth. Savoring the flavor, he stopped to see the crimson liquid staining the hand holding the knife in red. That’s when he realized, “Ah fuck, I guess that’s why they ran...I guess I should find them and talk with them like an adult.” He paused for a minute before he cackled. “Yeah, as if I can even hold a civil conversation with someone who runs as soon as they see me,” he groaned. With a roll of his eyes, he walked deeper into the cemetery. When he spotted the human-sized dent in the iron fence, he stuffed the remains of the fruit in his mouth and crawled through, exiting the area designated for the dead.

[travllingbunny]

The 100 episode 6x01: Sanctum

I have mixed feelings about this episode. I'm very glad that I got to see this and 6x02 together, since 6x02 was amazing. 

Season premieres on The 100 are rarely among my favorites of the season (and in season 1 and 4, were the weakest of the season), except for season 5. Season 2 premiere was also pretty strong. Here’s how I’d rank them:

Season 5 (Eden) 9/10

Season 2 (The 48) 8.5/10

Season 3 (Wanheda, Part One) 7/10

Season 6 (Sanctum) 6.5/10

Season 4 (Echoes) 6/10

Season 1 (Pilot) 4.5/10

First to get it out of the way - the things that bothered me about this episode:

So, Shaw is another black guy who got Killed First, and Zaven got Clexaed. Was this really necessary? JRoth says it was because Jordan Bolger got a role on another show, but They could have left him cryo-frozen for some time until Jordan finished his other obligation, like they did with Kane/HIC, who also now has a major role on another show.In any case, killing him off in the premiere not long after he and Raven had sex for the first time is a really lame old trope. And I wasn't even particularly invested in that relationship or his character, but it's such a waste after he was introduced in season 5, let's face it, pretty much just to be Raven's love interest and finally give her a good relationship.

I am glad that the show is following up on the things that happened in season 5 and that everyone is talking about their issues with each other. For them, it happened yesterday (I am just going to ignore the 125 time jump, since it practically didn't exist for any of the characters other than Monty, Harper and Jordan, and the people of the new planet).  And I was in favor of characters not forgiving Clarke immediately, before I saw this episode. However, the way they did felt so forced and unnatural. Murphy's remarks made no sense, as if he forgot or re-wrote all of seasons 1-4. Not only was he hypocritical, but I don't even know what he was on about. Clarke's 5th chance? What?? Does he mean all the times when she saved them? Did he confuse Clarke with, well... himself? Shaw felt particularly OOC. It's like JRoth wanted random characters to blame Clarke and deliver speeches about morality and redemption to her, and didn't care who it was, or as if Shaw was a stand-in for Raven, Sure, it makes some sense he's angry she gave them up, but to that extent and in such a personal way? Especially since we don't see him showing anger over the fact that Echo wanted to murder him? Or that Raven at one point was OK with Echo murdering him? The latter would have actually been more of a reason to feel hurt personally, since they already had some kind of a relationship up to that point, and he had helped her. But he was not Clarke's friend - she did betray her friends when she sided with McCreary: Raven, Murphy, Emori - but Shaw was nothing to her. Their only interaction in S5 was when he was one of the people (together with McCreary and Diyoza) who had her captured and tortured and threatened her daughter.

Echo lecturing Bellamy about forgiveness made me roll my eyes. Is this an even worse line than her season 5 line about finding each other in a cage? "Who knows that better than us". Err, I don't think "I did so many horrible things to you, and you forgave me (after being stuck with me for years in close quarters and with just 5 other people and I tried to make you forgive me for 3 years)" is such a great selling point or a positive thing about a relationship. And no, Bellamy doesn't have to forgive Octavia. I think he will eventually, but it's certainly not an obligation or Octavia's right, or anyone's right. No one has to forgive anyone. It's entirely due to the person who was hurt/wronged. Nor is "well, you forgave other people who hurt you, so why not that other person?" a good argument. Also, did she forget that he only forgave her after 3 years? Octavia threw him into a fighting pit (not to mention everything else she did) just a few days ago (obviously I'm not counting the cryo-sleep time). Their relationship is also complicated and different,, Bellamy probably has a time dealing with what his little sister has become and didn't expect that from her.

On the plus side:

The visuals are amazing, and everything about the new planet moon is really interesting. Including the setup for the next episode, with all the mysteries of the new planet, including the past of the people from Eligius, and the  psychosis that first overcame Emori. I love the bright colors - they feel both hopeful and fun, and psychedelic and sort of disturbing. For once, it's great to see a post-apocalyptic drama that doesn't have muted colors and dark cinematography.

Jordan is lovely - it's great to have an optimistic, innocent character, as a contrast to all the damaged, angry people, and he also obviously has many capabilities worthy of his father.

All the callbacks to season 1 were fun., especially Murphy playing the role of season 1 Octavia. Also, Bellamy telling Clarke that others will come around felt like a callback to their season 4 scene where Clarke was comforting him and telling him that Octavia would come around and forgive him.

Jackson was so excited to realize he and the other humans are "aliens" now, LOL.

Even though it was awkward in execution, I generally like the fact that they're dealing with everyone's issues, guilt and resentment from season 5. Clarke and Octavia are both set up to have great arcs. Abby and Miller also deal with guilt. There are so many interesting relationships between people who need to sort out their issues: Bellamy and Octavia, Abby and Raven, Octavia and Abby, Bellamy and Clarke...

I think Abby has a very interesting storyline now - trying to stay on the wagon and not relapse into addiction and trying to do better and make up to Raven, and her relationships with both Raven and Octavia will be interesting to watch. Kane might not really have a story of his own now, but, contrary to what many think, it would have sucked if he had died now, with how Abby felt guilty over letting him down and then tried everything to save him.

The scenes between Abby and Raven were really strong. Raven is very hurt and angry and unforgiving - of Clarke, but most of all of Abby, her substitute mother figure who really let her down and hurt her in season 5, in ways that reminded her of her biological mother. Neither of them beat around the bush, and this relationship will be interesting to watch.

Octavia scenes were amazing. I really don't get those stans of hers who justify everything she did, but I do appreciate her more and more as a great character. She acted exactly the way I'd expect her to act - angry, confrontational, unable to apologize and admit to her mistakes. While Raven is refusing to forgive, Octavia is refusing to say sorry to anyone. We saw at the end of last season that she feels guilty, and she wanted to have a big heroic redemptive death, but she didn't get that, and now she has to work harder for that redemption in the way she isn't used to - to try to really change, accept responsibility, admit mistakes and change her way of dealing with things. She'll have a long way to go and a lot of character growth to do. Octavia talked about Kane's past, but Kane did acknowledge his mistakes, almost 7 years ago, and changed and learned from them, something Octavia needs to do.

Niylah waking up Octavia after explicitly being told not to was funny - it's not a great thing to do, but I could have guessed she would, with her huge crush on O.

I'm glad that Bellamy is not forgiving Octavia easily. I think their relationship had been pretty dysfunctional way before season 5, and that she treated him like crap way before season 5 (including that time she chained him and beat him bloody because she needed a punching bag for he pain, and after that, it was still somehow all about her having to forgive him for an entire season...) so I don't want them to make up immediately. That relationship needs to be changed and reinvented, and Octavia has to change, and learn how to  treat both Bellamy and others in a different way, before they can be reconciliation.

The Bellarke moments were great - especially the radio calls conversation. It's clear that this is definitely not the last time they talk about that: that plot point has been brought up since the beginning of season 5. It took the whole season for Bellamy to learn about them, after Clarke was too embarrassed to tell him. Now she knows he knows - and it was cute to see the panic on her face when she thought he had heard all that she was saying (and we never heard all the things she said during those 6 years, so who knows what else she said!), and then the way he used a joke to lower the tension and let her off the hook. But we know from the trailer that both the radio calls and the fact she left him behind to die in 5x09 would be brought up. Yes, he has been forgiving and supportive of her since he found out the truth about those radio calls - his real problem was that he thought Clarke left him because she didn't' care, so learning that it was the farthest thing from the truth changed everything - but that doesn't mean he has fully forgiven her in his heart. He still wants to understand how exactly she feels about him, and they have so many issues to discuss.

And just look at that plAtOnIc chemistry:

I generally don't mind the Becho stuff, which continues to be along the same lines as season 5: no matter how forced those scenes feel, they're very easy to ignore, since their one-on-one interactions take up about 30 seconds of screentime (which could as well been written by some computer program for how to insert a perfunctory scene to remind people that characters are in a relationship), and, no surprise, a lot of their overall screentime is scenes where Bellamy, Echo and Clarke happen to be in the same scene or same shot, and their narrative purpose is not hard to figure out:

(How awkward when you're the third wheel to your own boyfriend and his... whatever exactly Clarke is to Bellamy.)

[kuiperblog]

Ready or Not: I can’t believe it’s not Margot Robbie!

(Apologies for the length of this post.  I did not have time to write a short one.)

Ready or Not is basically the movie you would think it is from watching the trailer. Even the first 40 seconds (as I did as my only exposure before entering the theater) will suffice without spoiling anything; this was my experience with the movie.  After the 60-second mark, the trailer spoils some of the inevitable deaths.  And yes, these sorts of inevitable deaths can be “spoiled” despite being inevitable, because this is a black comedy horror film, and knowing how someone dies is like knowing the punchline to a joke.  You knew there was going to be a punchline, but if you watch the trailer, you’ll be prepared for the delivery when it comes.

(The following PREVIEW has been approved for MATURE AUDIENCES)

When I was a young (teenage) moviewatcher, I did not really “get” black comedy horror films.  When I heard about “Shaun of the Dead,” I watched it expecting it to be a spoof, something in the vein of what Spaceballs was to Star Wars, or Airplane was to Zero Hour.  But in fact, Shaun of the Dead is a zombie movie more than it is a comedy movie; the comedy is seasoning, not the meat.

My expectation that Shaun of the Dead was a “comedy” movie caused me to not enjoy it the first time I watched it.  The second half of the movie barely had any jokes!  It was like I was watching an actual horror movie and not a comical spoof!

I’ve since come to a better understanding of what a “black comedy horror film” is.  While deconstruction is different from parody, I think you can construct an analogy where a spoof is to deconstruction what black comedy is to reconstruction.  Movies like Cabin in the Woods and You’re Next are in conversation with other movies in the horror genre, no doubt.  However, the main statement of Cabin in the Woods is not “horror movies suck and here’s an explanation of how they suck,” its main statement is closer to, “horror movies are kind of awesome, but they could be better, so lets do something that represents the best of what horror movies are trying to do while avoiding the trappings of tropey horror movies while also simultaneously indulging in them.  Yes, we are having our cake and eating it, too.”

I think, in a broader sense, there’s a hunger for horror movies that are just smarter than your standard slasher or monster flick.  One way to be (or seem) smart is to hold up dumb horror movies and point and laugh.

But the approach which I’ve come to enjoy a lot is one which says, “People enjoy these movies for a reason.  There’s a reason that Friday the 13th and The Purge and Texas Chainsaw massacre have achieved such a high level of cultural significance despite not being very well-liked by critics. What if we allowed ourselves to bathe in the viscera, and did it in a way that was just self aware enough to let the audience know that we know that they knew that horror movies are inherently kind of dumb?  A way to wink at the camera without actually winking at the camera?

Horror movies, perhaps more than any other genre of media (including non-film horror stories), have worldbuilding components that exist as part of the wider culture, things that the audience carries into the theater with them. Part of this is superficial worldbuilding elements, like how vampires hate crosses, and werewolves hate silver bullets, for the same reason that wizards wear pointy hats and elves have pointy ears.  But more than that, within horror, there are rules that we know not because they are rules of the fictional world that the movie has created, but because they are rules of screenwriting.

As an example, karma is the most powerful rule in the universe.  If someone is behaving like a real meanie in the movie’s first act, you know that there are only two outcomes waiting for him: a redemption arc, or punishment from some cosmic force of justice.  This is the same force that punishes teenagers for having sex by visiting serial killers upon them, and assures us that the police aren’t going to swoop in until the last few minutes of the movie, if they show up at all.  (Or, if they do show up early, they’ll either die at the hands of the killer, or not hear the screams of the victims and drive right past.)

These “rules” are all, well, kind of dumb.  There’s no chain of “cause and effect” that should cause cheating on your fiance to result in your head being bashed in by a serial killer, for example.  More particular to the horror genre, most complaints about horror movies take the form of, “the victims could easily escape if only they did this very obvious thing!” And of course, the reason that they don’t do this thing is that, in universe, they must be very dumb (and thus not deserving of the sympathy of smart and cynical viewers).  But the real reason that the victims don’t do the obvious thing that would allow them to escape the murder house in the first 10 minutes of the film is that the movie has a runtime of 90 minutes, and they need to be kept in the murder house until the final moments of the movie.

These rules are dumb, because they are arbitrary.  But they are necessary, because a movie where the protagonist is trapped inside the murder house for the entire duration of the movie is more entertaining where they immediately escape, go to the police, and then spend the last 60 minutes of the movie talking to detectives and testifying against the slasher in court.

Cabin in the Woods is seen by many people as a subversion of horror movie tropes, but in a lot of ways, it chooses to embrace horror movie tropes and just give them an explanation that is, in all honesty, kind of cheating, because its entire premise is that the people in its setting are reading from the horror movie playbook.  Thus, “the teenagers in the cabin were dumb for scriptwriting reasons” becomes “the teenagers in the cabin were dumb because the villains slipped them a drug that made them stupid.”

But you can offer an explanation without getting too meta.  That’s what I think You’re Next did.  And that’s what I think that Ready or Not does really well.  It’s aware of and in conversation with other horror movies only in the sense that it’s aware, “these are the problems horror movies can have, and we’re going to do better.”

I think that what really characterizes movies like Cabin in the Woods, and You’re Next, and Ready or Not is a defiant attitude.  Not a defiant attitude from the characters (though that can happen to), but a defiant attitude from the screenwriter.  It’s the kind of thing that bleeds into every scene, an attitude that says, “yeah this is a horror movie, but we can have scenes that are funny instead of being all about dread and terror from start to finish.  Jump scares? Don’t need ‘em!  But we’ll toss in a fake jump scare at the beginning, just to demonstrate that we’re aware of how much jump scares suck and are unfulfilling.

Yes, this world is to some extent governed by scriptwriting rules and not internal-consistency rules, but we’re going to do a really good job of keeping things plausible: for example, there’s going to be a moment when a character does something chiefly because of symbolism, but also it’s going to serve some practical purpose in the movie. We’re going to adhere to the world’s own logic, such as it is, 95% of the way, so that when you get to the last 5%, you’re going to say, “You earned it,” rather than “That’s bullshit.”  And we’re going to have some really great, iconic, memorable shots that are going to linger in your mind maybe for the rest of your life, because film is a visual medium, and even we realize that sometimes that one amazing shot is worth any concessions we had to make for it.

Ready or Not feels like more than the sum of its parts, not in the sense that any of its constituent parts are lacking, per se, but that they only work in the context of all the other parts.  It’s a good package.  I enjoyed the movie.  I liked the characters, I liked the bloody parts, I liked the expected parts, and I liked the surprising-yet-inevitable parts even more.  It is a good black comedy horror film.  If you like those, this is one of them.

Of course, it’s impossible to say anything about this movie without saying that the most surprising thing about it is that the main character is not played by Margot Robbie.  (Could Samara Weaving and Margot Robbie have been separated at birth?)

[winn-schott-imagines]

So here is the 5 times Alex hugged Winn, and the 1 time he surprised himself.

Given his past it wasn’t a surprise for anyone that Winn wasn’t a touchy person. It took him a long time to get used to everyday touches, such as pats on the shoulders; playful nudges, but his biggest enemies were hugs. In the beginning he couldn’t stand them, he wasn’t used to getting them, thanks to his parents and foster parents. When he and Kara became friends it took him months to get comfortable with it, but after sometime he even began enjoying them.  But he never give hug to anyone, it was always the other person who hugged first. The only time he defied that rule was when he hugged Superman, but since he didn’t know the basic rules of giving hugs it turned out to be really awkward. He stopped trying then.

After a year of the forming of the Superfriends he wasn’t even surprised by getting hugs. Or so he thought, but then Alex (aka the least touchy person in history according to him) gave him a hug and he was confused once again.

So here is the 5 times Alex hugged Winn, and the 1 time he surprised himself.

1. When Kara woke up from the Black Mercy’s dream

Alex watched as her little sister woke up, she was sad and confused, but most of all, hurt. She itched to hug her, but she knew it wasn’t the right time. Soon a new emotion appeared in her eyes anger, a moment later she was out of the window, looking for Non.

People began to leave the room, first Max, then James and J’onn, only Winn lingered around in the room, looking lost and somewhat scared. She figured he was feeling the aftershock of the situation, the realisation sinking in, and the heart-rending dread leaving his body.

They weren’t close, sure they were friends, but the only reason they knew each other, and talked to each another was Kara. She doubted that, they have ever spoken about anything that wasn’t linked to Kara.

But now looking at him, seeing how miserable he looked, she couldn’t help but to feel sorry for the man. After all, he had just unburied some life-long traumas and got kidnapped less than a week ago, plus he was rejected by his crush, the very same person, who almost died in front of him less than 10 minutes ago. It was obvious he still had feelings for her, but he kept them at bay, he didn’t force himself on her which Alex respected. She has known many men with less of a spine.

The thing is, The-Big-Sister-Instinct is not something that you can just turn off. She couldn’t comfort Kara, and it was bothering her, like an angry itch. And Winn was looking like a kicked puppy. She couldn’t stop herself. She enveloped him into a hug, he froze immediately, and it took him a good 15 second the hug her back. They stayed like that for a bit, she couldn’t tell if he was grateful or confused, probably both, but she didn’t care.

Soon she let him go smiled at him, and left the room. From the doorstep, however, she turned her head back a bit, and said:

“Be at Kara’s apartment in 15 minutes, we need to clean that mess up.”

And with that she left, leaving him behind with a surprised expression written all over his face.

2. When Jeremiah betrayed them

When Winn and Mon-el first told her their allegation she was furious. She was hurt by the idea, and the fact that her friends could have thought of something like that. And then Kara too, it was ridiculous.

But then she heard the fight over the coms and when they got back, they saw and injured Winn and J’onn and her father gone. She felt guilty deep down, but she still had hope. She hoped that there was an explanation and her father was still a good man.

They chased him, they talked and then he was gone again. She couldn’t shoot him, she couldn’t. She cried her eyes out in the forest alone, and when the tears dried she headed back to the DEO to act like she always did, unaffected and strong.

J’onn was better, he healed fast. She talked to her mother, she took it well, or more likely masked her pain well. Eliza went home, said she go to bed early. Alex however stayed for a bit longer. She didn’t wanted to go home, instead she tried to bury herself into work, but there wasn’t much to do. She wandered around aimlessly for while. From the corner of her eyes she still saw Winn holding his neck and grimacing in pain. Guilt flowed through her. It wasn’t her fault, she knew that, but somehow it still was. She started to walk towards him, at first she didn’t even know what she wanted from, forgiving? Nahh, it was that, in a strange way, she hoped he could understand her.

“Hey, Winn!” he turned around fast, with a surprised expression.

“Alex?” his expression changed from startled to understanding. “How are you doing?”

“Good, good”

“You don’t have to…” he started to say, but he didn’t know how to finish the sentence. You don’t have to be alright? You don’t have to pretended? He meant all of them, but saying them out loud just seemed like a bad idea.

Even with the missing parts, she got the message, and the way he said it, the way he looked just made her eyes tear up. She didn’t wanted to cry now, she came here to apologize after all.

“I just wanted to say, I am sorry that he hurt you, and that I didn’t listen to you,” She said in hurried tone and started to fast-walk away. But he knew better than to let her do that.

“Uhmmm… You know what! I will forgive you, but only if you drink with me!” his tone was playful, but in the same time had some depth in it.

5 minutes later they were sitting in an empty room with beers in their hands. They didn’t say a thing, neither of them knew what the right words would be. Finally Winn broke the silence.

“You know, you can always talk to me about it.” All the response he received to that was a groan. “You know that, I am far too familiar with you situation.”

She looked up at that, she felt like she knows the answer, but it have just escaped her mind. At her questioning face, he laughed.

“Ah, come on! Don’t give me that look! You are talking to the President of the My Relative Is A Villain Club!”

“The what?”

“Well, it is a rather small club. It just me and Lena Luthor, but sometime Kara too, I mean Astra is a relative, but not a really close one. But you have definitely earned the right to join us!” They were laughing now. It was absurd and in a morbid way, hilarious.

“No, but seriously, I know where you are coming from. I mean, when my dad was first brought into questioning, I was sure he had nothing to do with it. Then the weeks passed and he changed, it was obvious he did it, but I still believed in his innocence. I hoped even when the FBI showed up on our doorstep, dragging him away. I gave up on him when he blew up an agent in our front yard. I spent months feeling guilty for being his son, and for not hating him. I tried so hard to hate him in the beginning, I just couldn’t. Then 2 months later, when I was left in my first foster home I for the first time I loathed him.”

“Winn, I let him run away!” She didn’t know what made her confess it, but she felt like she will collapse under the burden. “I should have shot him! But I let him run away, I didn’t even fight him!”

“I know.”

“You knew?”

“Alex, there is no person on the earth who could run away from you, when you have gun with you. But don’t worry, we will find him.”

“Why aren’t you mad?”

“Less than a year ago, I watched as a bunch of FBI agents shoot him down, well not him, but in the moments I thought this is it, he is gone for ever, I felt sadness and pain. He is my father, even if I hate him, and he can’t die without causing me even more pain. You couldn’t shot your father for the same reason. Somewhere deep down, we will always hope, that we are wrong, and they were right.”

She was sobbing now, again. She cried because it hurt, but she was grateful, because he did understand her. She didn’t know what she was doing, but she threw herself on Winn, and hugged him. He returned the favor straight away. He comforted her, hold her and rubbed circles on her back to calm her down. They stayed like that for several minutes, until Alex didn’t feel better. She dried her tears said thank you, and left the DEO.

 3. when Lyra framed him

They have gotten closer to each other, actually she had adopted him to be her little brother. She didn’t tell him that, but it wasn’t needed, they joked, they teased, the bond was there between them even without naming it.

Maggie often called her, during work hours, for the most random of reasons, but this was by far the most unexpected one. When she said, Winn was brought in for stealing Starry Night, by Van Gogh, she laughed, she thought she was joking, but she wasn’t.

15 minutes later she and James stormed into the room, to see a pale and distressed Winn in a chair, across him Maggie and TV screen. It was obvious he was upset, angry but most scared. No surprise there after all, some of his worst memories were from the police questioning. When they left the station he took a deep breath, and some colour returned to his face. His hands were shaking, he tried to hide it, but didn’t succeed in doing so. She didn’t mention it, but made a mental note about it.

Things went downhill from there. The facts were, Lyra used Winn, framed him, and apparently never cared about him. Alex made another mental note, about Winn’s ‘bruises’, it seemed strange to her, why he used that word, he probably meant hickeys, right? In healthy relationship people do not receive bruises, you get those on the field, not in your home.

It took them an impressively short time to find out where Lyra was, they got there, they kicked ass and left with her in handcuffs with the painting in their hands. Alex didn’t hear the full conversation between Winn and Lyra in the trailer, but the look on his face said a thousands of words. He was betrayed and stabbed in the back, and now she twisted the knife his wound.

Lyra was taken to her cell, and Winn was left there in the headquarters staring after her. His expression was full of pain and hopelessness. She wasn’t telepathic like J’onn, but even she could hear his thoughts. All the rising self-doubt and shame too. He felt weak and defeated.

It was painful to see her little brother in such a state, and she wouldn’t allow him to be so sad. So she joined him and stood by his side for a couple of minutes.

“Why did she do it? Was all a set-up? Did she send those thugs after me, asked them to attack me, so she can save me?” he muttered. He wasn’t really talking to her, more like just said his thought put loud.

“It wasn’t your fault, Winn,” she said, and pulled him in for a hug. He responded straight away, holding her, like his life depended on her. And she let him, he deserved the comfort, he was put through so much pain and hurt in his life, he really deserved a stable loving relationship. And until the perfect girl comes his friends will have to do. 

4.  When Lyra showed her true face

After the art theft thing went back to normal in Winn’s and Lyra’s relationship. Alex often saw them together in the bar and other places too. They were sweet and she was happy for her little brother, but she always had a strange feeling about them. Like something was off. The bruises comment didn’t leave her alone,and when she looked at them for a long period of time, she noticed how possessive Lyra was. But she left those thoughts alone, because Winn radiated happiness.

Just like everyone else, she thought everything was fine with those two. And then Maggie came home with a troubled expression on her face. She said, she just came from the bar, asked if there has been any trouble lately, bar fights and such. She wrote some names, and then she heard a story, what she didn’t like not one bit. apparently, Winn broke some bad news to Lyra not so long ago, he even brought a present and her favorite drink, to wash away the bad taste of rejection (from the Guardian team). But even with his best efforts, Lyra was furious, she broke her present and her drink too. The bartender said, he was sure he would’ve had to step in soon, because the ‘lady’ looked like she will shatter the bottle on the poor lads head.

Alex had to sit down, she thought back to all the times she had seen those too together, at first she remembered how cute they were together. She was about to say, that is impossible, when the not so idyllic images filled her brain. When she hold Winn’s hand way stronger than appropriate, how she framed him, and attacked him later, how sometime Winn jumped, when he heard her voice.

“I have to go and talk to Winn,” Alex said, finally, and called Winn so the two can meet.

She ended up going to his place, because this wasn’t the chat they should have in the bar.

“Alex! Hey! What brings you here?” he asked smiling, his eyes filled with excitement. He reminded Alex of an over excited puppy.

“I am fine, I just wanted to talk to you. Are you alone?”

“Yes, yes Lyra left like 10 minutes ago. Come on in! Sorry for the mess, I was just about to clean up.” Winn said and went to the kitchen to fetch to beers. While he was gone, Alex looked around. The room was fine, sure there were some clothes lying around, but nothing too bad she thought when she first looked around, but when she looked around again, she noticed some unusual things. Such as the framed picture of his grandfather, lying on the ground broken. She knew how much he meant to Winn, he was the only one who have never left him down, he died before his son became the Toyman. There were books on the floor, like someone has throw them around.

She found it strange but, she tried to not to think to much into it. She was about to sit down, when she noticed something shiny on the floor. It was a glass fragment, green, looked like a shattered piece of a bottle of beer. Before she could continue her investigation, Winn appeared with 2 bottles.

“Here you go!”

“Thanks,” they clinked, and then drank.

“So, what did you wanted to talk about?”

“Uhmm I just wanted to ask how are thing going on with Lyra” She carefully watched his expression. He seemed startled, and then distressed, but soon he put on his usual smiley mask.

“Oh she is great. We are doing great! Yeah, it is cool all good” He lied terribly, his eyes darting around the room, and his hands holding the beer just a bit too tight. 

”And how is Maggie?”

“She is great, the other day we went on a date…” she started to talk about her hilarious date with Maggie, but only paying half a mind to what she was saying, the other half of his brain was checking Winn out, looking for injuries.

The first thing she noticed was that he was wearing his favourite MIT pullover. The pullover have always held a special place in his heart, he told her once. It was a habit of his she have noticed over the years. Whenever he was a bit hurt after a mission, felt stressed or uncomfortable, maybe sad he always wore this. Kara and Alex always said that it was his transferable safe-place. Seeing him in it meant that something was off, and the way he was playing with the sleeves meant that he was hiding something underneath it. The second thing out of place was the way he held himself. Winn never-ever hunched over, only when he was in trouble. Yes, something is definitely up with him, Alex thought.

“… so we had to leave the place, before the dessert. But no worries, we stopped by our favorite little café, to finish the perfect date.” She said, still studying Winn, this time his expression. He seemed somewhat jealous, like he wished he could have the same thing.

“That sounds amazing! Man, I am so happy for the two of you, if last year, someone have told me you will be well like this, I wouldn’t have believed it.” he said smiling 

“It is so good to see you so happy, you changed a lot Agent Danvers but t looks good on you”

“Ahh stop it!” she said and playfully punched him in the arm. 

For a second he grimaced in pain, but he covered it right up with a laugh, like nothing happened. But Alex Danvers is not someone you can fool so easily. 

“Winn, is everything okay?”

“Phfff, of course it is,” he said rolling his eyes and drinking from his bottle.

“Winn, is everything alright?” she said it in a different manner this time.

“Yes…” his voice trailed of and he stared in front of him, into nothingness.

“Winn, you know that you can tell me everything, right? You are not alone, because we are all here for you”

“Why are you telling me this? Why the sudden care?”

“Maggie heard a story from the bartender. He believes Lyra might be a threat for you.”

“That is ridiculous!” He was about to stand up, but Alex grabbed his hand.

“I think he is right. You are acting strangely, and I am worried about you, Maggie too.”

“But you have no reason to be worried. I am fine, and so is Lyra.”

“Then why did she broke that glass at the bar, earlier. Why does you room look like you were just cleaning up after a fight?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Books and broken glass on the floor, shattered pictures. You are in your comfort hoodie, and fidgeting constantly. Winn, I know you. I know that you wouldn’t let just anyone touch your Limited Edition Lord Of The Rings books, but now it is lying on the ground.”

“She might have a bit of an anger issue, but I am handling it, okay!” He was getting defensive. He reminded Alex to a spooked animal.

“Winn, having anger issues is not enough to justify abuse,” he doesn’t look up 

“Did she hurt you?”

“No...”

“Winn!”

“I have had worse okay, it is nothing I can’t live with!”

“Yes you CAN live with it, but you DON’T HAVE TO live with it! Winn, she hurt you! You don’t deserve that! You deserve to be happy in a HEALTHY relationship, but this is toxic.”

“It is not that bad, really…”

“Let me see! Please” she used her commanding voice, and started tugging at his pullover. They glared at each other for a bit, but he was no match for her. In an awfully slow pace he took of his pullover. He was sitting next to her in a T-shirt now, avoiding eye-contact. Alex gasped. His arms were covered with bruises of all colours and age. He even had a cut on his left bicep. His hands were shaking and his face was red with shame.

Alex didn’t knew what to say, she have lost her words. She knew what she will, but she didn’t expect it to be this bad. Tears filled her eyes and pulled him into a bear hug. She noticed how he flinched at first, but she didn’t let go.

“Why didn’t you tell us? We would have helped you,” she whispered to him, while trying her best to comfort him.

“I didn’t know that I needed help. I thought we were doing fine,” his voice broke, but he didn’t cry.

“Of course you need help! Everyone needs help when they get hurt.”

“But…” he didn’t want to say it out loud, ashamed for some reason. “I didn’t know…”

“You didn’t know what? That you weren’t supposed to be hurt?” She almost laughed at the idea, but then Winn nodded against her shoulders. This stunned her, she pulled away to look into his eyes, because he couldn’t have meant that, could he? But he did.

“Winn, you didn’t know? How didn’t you know? You are the smartest man, I have ever met. And you don’t know that, you shouldn’t be hurt by a loved one?”

“Well, it is not like I had many references to healthy relationships! How would have I known?”

“Well, your paren…”she didn’t finish the sentence, because the realisation hit her on the face. Winn couldn’t have know, his parents hurt him, his foster parents hurt him, and the only girlfriend of his, she knows about was Shioban, and she used him, and attacked him. He was never thought how love shouldn’t come with pain.

They sat in silence for a bit, then she hugged him again. This time it wasn’t a bone-crushing hug, more like a gentle hug. A hug that tried to shield him away from the devils of this world.

5. When he had a bad day, and she didn’t notice

When she waltzed into the med bay she didn’t expect to see her sister and Winn in there. They seemed to be in a middle of a pretty serious conversation. She couldn’t see Kara’s face, but Winn’s expression was literally screaming: UNCOMFORTABLE! HURT! SHAME!

“Hey, Winn, J’onn is looking for you. What are you guys doing up here?”

The air froze a bit before, Winn tried to lie, and failed. Seriously, he is the worst liar in the history of mankind. Kara left the room, without a word, and so the two of them were left alone. It was obvious that he was feeling uncomfortable, his rambling gave it straight away.

“Just a normal day in the DEO… Nothing abnormal happening here…” he said trying to act normal. TRYING.

Alex knew something happened, that she needed to know, and she will get the information. She put on her cold, but intimidating look and started to close in on him. He started to back away, still rambling, but the bed stopped him.

“I am going to tell you everything...”he gave up, which she rewarded with a smile. So he started telling the truth but not in his usual manner.

His eyes were darting around and his breathing was a bit uneven, he was stuttering, and he kept going off topic, before he collected himself and got back to where he was.

“She had an other attack… you know like a panic attack, about she thinks it wasn’t that, because she it stronger than that… Kara said she is getting stronger… but Psi wasn’t even in the building… I mean we would have know about her being there… and no one reported familiar effects… I don’t know…. ahhhh I think she had a panic attack, but apparently she is too strong for those… but i didn’t see anything on the scanner… but I don’t get it, I mean that was some trauma, she can react to that in a way like this, right?... “ don’t know why she keeps on denying it… it is nothing to be ashamed of right?.. i mean it is a human thing, but she is human enough… and it is a result of post-traumatic-stress… that is not the victim’s fault, right?... but she is stronger than that…..”

“Winn, Winn, hey! Slow down!” Alex have tried for a good minute to get his attention, but he kept on rambling, while taking panicked short gasps. He was fidgeting and his legs were bouncing up and down, with a speed that even Barry Allen would have been jealous of.

He was spiralling into a panic attack and she felt somewhat responsible. He hadn’t been the same since Lyra, he was more anxious and tense. She shouldn’t have cornered him, it was a mean move, she didn’t thought she would receive a reaction like this. Of course, her rational side knew she wasn’t the one to blame for this panic attack, but her sister, who is apparently too strong for those.   

“Winn, listen you need to breathe! Okay take deep breaths!” he still wasn’t paying attention to her, he is breathing became even worse. “Dammit… Winn! Winn!”

She knew it is a bad idea, but she was out of options, so she touched his shoulder. It worked, Winn looked at her, but he spiralled even deeper. She looked into his eyes, and started to calm him down. She knew how to, back in the days she had to calm down Kara a countless of times. She breathed with him, and counted, so he can get back in control.

She is protective of his little brother, even if she makes stupid jokes sometimes.

Soon, Winn was taking deep breaths, and looked a bit more collected in a way. She went and fetched a bottle of water for him, when she returned he was miles better. Big and regular breaths, his eyes were tired, and he was still a bit shaky.

“I am sorry, I didn’t meant to… breakdown like that…” he started, avoiding eye-contact. “I don’t know what caused it, I usually don’t… well… not like this”

“Hey, it’s alright! Nothing to be ashamed of.” 

He snorted at that 

“I shouldn’t have closed up on you like that, sorry.”

“It’s fine, really, not your fault.” They went silent for a bit, Winn slowly sipping water, while concentrating on his breathing.

“What did Kara say to you, that set you of?”She didn’t know how to say it.

“What do you mean?”

“You kept repeating, she is stronger than that…”

“Ahh, she panicked in the lift, at CatCo, and the thing is there is no way Psi could have been involved, I mean directly to it. I said she might had a panic attack, but she said that is impossible, because she is stronger than that.” he looked down at the ground, feeling ashamed again.

“You know that’s not true. When she first came to Earth she had many panic attacks, didn’t like small spaces. She is not stronger than them, no one is.”

“Yeah..” he didn’t argue, but he was still hurting.

“Can I hug you?” Alex asked, not daring to jump at him, it might set him off again.

He didn’t say a thing just nodded. And that was all she needed. She hugged him, and hold him, and soon he was crying. The stress of the past few weeks, putting up with Kara’s grief, while grieving his friend, and on top of that Lyra have left more damage than they first thought. It was a lot to begin with, he has been on the edge for some time, and Kara’s comment brought it up to the surface and Alex pushed him over the edge.

 He cried into her shoulder, because he felt weak and everything was just too much at the moment.

“You are the strongest person I have ever met, I couldn’t live with the trauma you had to suffer through. I am so proud of you! We all are.” she assured him, while holding him tight.

 +1.

Purity saw right through her. She knew all of her weaknesses and she wasn’t shy to point them all out. She said out loud her deepest fears, and she couldn’t do a thing about it. She couldn’t deny it, she couldn’t run away. It just hanged in the air, like some deadly gas. Kara sent her out, and she did left the room on the second order, but her sister didn’t follow.

She wished she had, she didn’t wanted to be alone. She didn’t know what she wanted. To be alone, to be free of her fears? She had no idea, but she was scared and lost. And so very hopeless.

She didn’t understand what was going through her. Purity didn’t say anything she did know, it was just… she never ever dared to say those thoughts out loud. Because this made it real somehow.

And she was alone. She didn’t wanted to be alone, because then Purity would be right. But where’s Kara? She should be here with her… Why was she alone.

She was holding her head and trying to collect her wandering thoughts, when Winn noticed her. She was in distress that’s for sure. She looked like she is going to cry. He can’t let that happen.

He crossed the room, and asked her what happened, with care in his voice and worry, like she always did so many time for him. She didn’t respond, she was losing a grip on reality.

Falling apart with every passing second, it was painful to watch. He wanted to comfort his big sister, so he didn’t even think about what he was doing.

He wrapped his arms around her, carefully and gently, drawing circles on her back, to calm her down. She didn’t return the hug, but in a weird way, she melted into it. Rested her head on his shoulder for a second, before breaking away.

He wanted to run after her, and help her with whatever her problem was, but then the crystal started to glow and he had to check on it. While he was trying to figure out the secret of the crystal, he had a sudden realisation: HE HUGGED ALEX DANVERS.

[siobhanreviewsmovies]

Siobhan Reviews Movies: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

This is last weeks review. Sorry. I got distracted while writing it and forgot to finish it. So here goes, a review from memory, not written immediately after seeing the film.

I loved Kingsman: the Secret Service. It was wicked. So I was understandably a tad concerned about how the second one would go, given the Hollywood sequel track record. I shouldn’t have been concerned. The Golden Circle was epic. The perfect sequel.

High points - the action sequences. Very Matthew Vaughn. Very cool. Slow-mo in all the right places. - the villain, Poppy, was epic. I won’t say more, but man she was cool - Elton John - awesome plot twists - foreshadowing. Wicked cool foreshadowing. Meat grinder, that’s all I’ll say - all of the characters, both new and recurring - car chases

Medium points (the ones that matter but that I’m still making up my mind about) - the presence of the American Kingsman (statesman) bothered me from the first trailer. It’s difficult, as an Australian, to watch all of these movies that all have an American presence. Like, why should all movies have an American presence, but not an Australian presence? I don’t care much for Australian presences in non Australian movies, if I’m honest, because they’re all exceptionally stereotypical, but it’s still tends to bother me when a country is so over represented, and always in a way that makes them look far better than they are. This said, the American presence in Kingsman was entertaining. They were Americans from a non-american point of view. They were the way the rest of the world sees Americans. It felt good, seeing Americans represented the was Australians usually are. Goofy stereotypes. ( this rant was not in anyway meant to offend, by the way. Sorry if it did.)

Low points - ENOUGH WITH THE SEX JOKES. WHY ALL THE SEX JOKES?! ENOUGH ALREADY - that death (cries into my pillow)

10/10 and a well broken underwater car

[tales-of-a-fallen-star]

Otherworld (Ignis Scientia/Reader)

Fandom: FFXV Genre: Humour, Drama, Angst (I know, great combination) Pairing: Ignis Scientia/ reader (even though nothing really happens) Words: 2640

(A/N): Ooops, I did it again! Yes, I neglected my OC-centered fic in favour of something completely different once more (I’m so sorry Cassidy! I promise I’ll make your story known one day!) and this is what happened. Most of it is just witty and angsty dialogue, but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway. (Maybe I’ll write a second part at some point, considering this ‘end’ has a lot of loose ends, but I’ll try and finish at least the first 3 chapters of ‘Fire and Ice’ before I’ll come back to this.)

From the living room window, the darkened clouds of an approaching thunder storm were clearly visible. The streets, which were usually quite lively during the evenings, were emptying themselves, sheathing everything in a dull quiet, it was like the calm before the storm. Not the slightest noise was audible from afar, except for-

„Come on, die already! Oh my god, did that fucker just heal himself AGAIN?! I swear to God, this pattern isn’t normal”, you shouted at your TV, specifically at the boss in the game you were playing.  

The Sanctuary Keeper has been troubling you for almost 3 hours now and you were about to give up, though perhaps he’d be a lot easier to handle if you didn’t go for the “No Sphere-Grid challenge”, but you were convinced that you played ‘Final Fantasy X’ enough to know all the strategies and to be able to beat the game without levelling up your characters, but for some reason you were struggling with the boss right before your eyes.

“Ugh, this is embarrassing.”, you mumbled to yourself and when the Sanctuary Keeper hit you with another wave of its ‘Photon Wings’ attack you knew you were done for.

“Okay, that’s it, enough Final Fantasy for today.”

With a frustrated sigh, you closed the application on your PS4 and thought about what to do now, you contemplated whether you should just watch something on Netflix or check the PS Store for anything interesting. You decided to do the latter, in hopes of finding a new and exciting game, that maybe wasn’t as frustrating as ‘Final Fantasy X’ at the moment, so you opened the PS Store and browsed through the section featuring all the new games. You stopped for a moment when you saw the icon for a game called ‘Final Fantasy XV’.

“Wait, what? This is out already? I thought it wouldn’t come out before November?”

Intrigued you checked what this was about, clicking on the game for more information and, indeed, you could get the game immediately. Throwing your hands in the air, you decided to just give it a try. You’ve seen some trailers for this game and they looked promising enough. Of course, it would be another ‘Final Fantasy’ game for today, but you were sure this wouldn’t be anywhere as frustrating as what you did before.

You were surprised that it took only 10 minutes for the game to download, but once everything was done, you decided to start it and give it a try. But your anticipation and excitement for your new game didn’t last too long when, all of a sudden, your PS4 crashed and your TV screen went black.

“Oh, come on, are you kidding me?”

Aggressively you pushed the PS-Button on your controller and restarted your console. You tried to launch the game again, but to no success, your PS4 just crashed again. After 3 more unsuccessful attempts, you decided to plug out the ac-cable of your PS4 in hopes of resetting what was causing this problem and got up from your couch to do so. Reaching behind your console and fiddling around with the cable chaos behind your TV you finally found the right cable and gave it a quick and strong tug. It was at that exact moment, though, that a lightning struck your house, sending everything into darkness. You felt the electricity running through your veins and suddenly all you could see was black and you fell unconscious.

When you woke up again it was morning, or at least it seemed so. You tried to pull yourself up but stopped immediately when you felt every single of your muscles aching.

“Ughhh, what the hell happened?” you mumbled and put a hand to your head, trying to dull its aching. It was then that you noticed where you were, not on the ground of your living room, but in a very comfortable bed in a room you’ve never seen before.

‘Where the hell am I?’

You looked around the room, noticing a tray with food on a nightstand to your right. The only other thing on the nightstand was a clock, telling you it was currently 9:24am.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh SHIT! I have to get to work!” you cursed while simultaneously trying to get up, the aching in your muscles be damned. Once your sense of balance finally adapted to your surroundings, you quickly took some steps towards the door only to find it locked. It was exactly then that you slightly began to panic. You didn’t know where you were or how you got there and now you were even locked in here? What exactly was going on?

“Heeeey! Anybody there? Would you be so kind AND LET ME OUT OF HERE?” you screamed while knocking infuriated at the door in hopes of anybody hearing you. Your efforts were rewarded with the sound of approaching footsteps. After a few moments, you heard the unlocking sound of the door and stepped aside, crossing your arms, awaiting to see the face of the person who dared to lock you up in this room.

When the door swung open it revealed a man standing right in front of you. You looked at him closely. He had light brown hair, which was styled up in a very spikey, yet kind of elegant, way. His face seemed very composed, his green eyes, hidden behind a pair of glasses, gave no emotions away. He was dressed in black trousers and wore a black blazer with – was that a leo-print shirt? – underneath it. ‘Interesting style choice…’ you mused, trying to supress the smile that tingled around your lips and you couldn’t help but think that you’ve seen him somewhere before.

“Are you done staring at me?��� he enquired while crossing his arms, his posture now mirroring yours.

A blush started to blossom on your cheeks. You didn’t necessarily mean to stare but the man in front of you was definitely nice to look at. Now his presence felt sort of intimidating and you couldn’t help yourself but standing there like a babbling mess.

“Yeah, right, sorry. Didn’t really mean to - I mean, uhm… sorry, but who are you? You seem kinda familiar?” you stammered, clearing your throat to mask your embarrassment.

“I don’t think we’ve met before. I usually don’t forget a face.” He replied with a studied politeness in his voice.

“Uhm… okay? I guess… excuse me, but… where exactly am I? I don’t really remember getting here.”

“You’re at the Citadel and, truth be told, I was hoping you could tell me how you managed to get past the security guards at the gates without anyone noticing.” He curtly replied, his eyes piercing yours as if he was looking for the truth in them.

“The Citadel? Where exactly is that? Because all I remember is pulling out the ac-cord of my PS4 before everything went black.”

He raised his eyebrows at your answer, probably contemplating whether you were completely mad or just a good liar.

“So you’re not a citizen of the Crown City then?” was all he gave back.

“The what? Crown City? Okay, listen, I don’t know what madhouse you escaped from, but I really just want to get home.” now a hint of desperation clung to your voice. Whatever this man was saying, it only confused you more and you just wanted to get out of there and step into the next train that would take you home.

“Apparently that depends clearly on one’s perspective, as for me, you sound like you yourself just escaped a madhouse as well. I believe you should get some more rest before we continue this conversation.”

He turned around and was about to leave and the panic, that steadily grew in the pit of your stomach, now soaked your entire body.

“No! Please, wait!” you cried and he stopped in his tracks.

“Yes?”

“Could I make a phone call?”

“I guess that can be arranged, yes.” He pulled out a phone from the inside pocket of his blazer and handed it over to you. Before you dialled the first number that came to mind, your best friend’s number to be exact, you looked closer at the phone in question. You never heard of that brand name before and you began to wonder whether all of this was just a bad dream.

You dialled the number of your best friend, but all you heard from the other end was a ‘The number you are calling is unknown.’ and your eyes widened in shock. You looked at the display again, checking if the number was correct and it definitely was, you were sure of it.

“Is something the matter?” the man in front of you enquired but you couldn’t muster your voice to answer him. All you could feel was the pit of panic in your stomach, which was weighing your entire body down. Tears started to well up in your eyes and it took every fibre of your composure to keep them back. After a few moments you closed your eyes and remembered to start breathing again. When you opened your eyes, a bit calmer now, you gave the man in front of you his phone back, not daring to look him in the eyes. He took it and raised a questioning eyebrow at you, though he thought it best to not question you any further.

“Perhaps it would be best if you just told me where you come from. Surely we can arrange passage for you to get back home.” He said with a reassuring look in his eyes. You tried to regulate your breathing again and told him where you lived but the panic in your stomach immediately grew again, as he raised his eyebrows once more, but this time in confusion.

“I’m sorry, but I have never heard of this place, and I do pride myself on my geographical knowledge, but where on Eos is that?” he queried and it was then that you were sure this had to be some kind of bad dream or sick joke.

“Okay, seriously, this is not funny anymore. Just drop this act and let me go home, please!” the tears you held back before now started to roll down your cheeks. You cupped your face with your hands and started sobbing, your desperation now on full display. Your entire body was shaking until you felt reassuring hands on your shoulders.

“I need you to remain calm. I don’t want to canvass you any further, given your mental state right now, but I need to know if you may have been in contact with any Magitek Soldiers before you got here.”

At that word, you immediately looked up and he seemed a bit startled.

“Perhaps they captured you and performed some experiments on your mind and memories?” he enquired further, in hopes of finally getting to solve this problem.

Was this guy for real? He was talking about ‘Magitek soldiers’, fictional beings you knew from ‘Final Fantasy’ and he asked if they ‘captured’ you?

But then it suddenly hit you. Now you remembered where you’ve seen this man before. It was in one of the trailers for ‘Final Fantasy XV’.

“Oh, no, no, no, this can’t be. This is impossible, this must be some sick joke. This isn’t real. It can’t be.” You rambled while stepping away from the man in front of you, your entire body was shaking.

“Do you remember something?” he asked but you didn’t even listen to him anymore.

“Are you telling me I’m trapped in a game? No way! What am I supposed to do now? Wield some daggers and swords around? Run around this world and kill monsters to finish some side quests? When I’m low on health I just use a Potion or an Elixir or cast a quick ‘Cura’ to heal myself? Or when I die I just use a Phoenix Down and everything is okay again? What next? Am I supposed to summon all the famous summons, Shiva, Leviathan, Ifrit, Ramuh and Bahamut? Who’s the big baddie, huh? Where is he? Just let me go to him, finish him off and then I can return home? Hey, while we’re at it: Where is the Cid of this game? Every Final Fantasy has one, so he must be around here somewhere - or maybe it’s you. Is your name Cid, by any chance?” you couldn’t stop yourself from rambling on, the rage and disbelief in you just grew with every word and inwardly you cursed yourself for knowing so much about this stupid franchise, which currently seemed to entrap you. What you didn’t notice was the further you went on your body started to shake more and more, streams of tears still running down your face.

The man’s eyes only widened in something akin to irritation. Considering everything you just said you expected a more meaningful reaction from him.

After a while he pushed his glasses back up his nose before saying “No, my name is not Cid. It’s Ignis, Ignis Scientia, and the fact that you just told me some crucial things about our world you claim not to be from leads me to the suggestion that you haven’t been entirely honest with me.”

The seriousness in his voice startled you, but you still had trouble taking anything of this seriously and the anger inside you kept growing. You were frustrated, angry and all you wanted was to leave this place.

“I suggest you remain from throwing another tantrum so we can discuss this as civilized people and come to a solution beneficial for both of us.” He stated matter-of-factly.

That was it, that was the drop to flood your barrel of anger and frustration.

“Okay, listen up, Specky” you started and pointed your finger directly at him, your voice a low and threatening hiss, “I have no idea how it was possible that I ended up in this world, and I don’t even care anymore, as long as I get out of here, but if, on top of everything else, an aloof, stiff robot like you has the nerve to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do then I’m really not sure how long it will take me before I start throwing something other than a tantrum.”

Unmoved by your threat, he pushed his glasses up his nose once more and said, “Glad to see my plan worked.”

“I beg your pardon?” you retorted, your anger still clearly lacing your voice.

“You stopped crying.”

At that statement, your mouth just fell slightly open, unable to reply anything. With your right hand you wiped away the remains of your tears on your heated cheeks and looked up at him in disbelief. Did he really try to make you angry just so you would stop crying?

“I- I-“, you began to stammer but he gently lifted a hand to silence you.

“It’s alright. You seem quite exhausted. Maybe it would be better if you rested some more. I’m afraid I have other duties awaiting me but I will try and check on you later, as soon as I can.” His tone was gentle now and if you didn’t know any better you’d think there was the ghost of a smile on his face.

Suddenly you felt the emotional storm, which raged inside you, subside and you were painfully aware of the aching in your muscles again.

“I- thank you.” Was all you could manage to say and he nodded reassuringly at you, his eyes now a lot warmer than before.

“Don’t mention it.”

And with that he left the room, looking one more time at you over his shoulder before he closed the door behind him. You sat down on the bed again, a sad smile tugging at your lips. All that was now left for you to do was to fall back and drift off into a, hopefully, peaceful sleep and maybe, just maybe, when you’ll wake, you’ll find yourself on the floor of your living room once more.

[kazosa]

Second Chances - Jeff x Reader: Chapter 14

Summary: Reader and Jeff work a project and become fast friends. The project ends and they go their separate ways, neither forgetting the other. With Hollywood being a small community, you two bump into one another either at events or projects, but there is always something keeping you apart. Will the obstacles ever end? Chapter 14 Summary: All of the happenings in California Warnings: language (probably), confrontation A/N: I have a few ideas to continue this, but it’s still developing. Please leave comments or let me know if you want to be tagged, etc Word count: 2700(ish) Catch up here: Masterlist

Tags: @jml509  @jasoncrouse  @yellatthetopofyourlungs  @bookchic20  @prettyepiic  @rizflo-blog  @curious-sub7  @backseat-negan

“You like fucking my husband?”

     Even if the car hadn’t been blasting the A/C, you would still have felt the chill from the other side of the car. Of all the days she could show up, why this one? How did she even know? How did she get on the lot? If you hadn’t been so crabby from being awake since 0430 and it was now quickly approaching 1930, and you hadn’t even left the lot yet, you might have been intimidated by Anya Longwell.

     You slowly turned your head to look at her, hoping your face adequately displayed your annoyance. She was wearing large, dark sunglasses inside a fully tinted car. She was wearing a white tank top and green linen pants. She had the look of an actress from the 40s. Her tanned skin being shown off by fine gold jewelry and sandals on her feet.      What to do? Sweet or Salty?      “Yes, I do, the man is insatiable. I’ve barely slept in the last four days,” you answered her question. “Get the fuck out of my car.” Tapping on the window.      “Ms. (Y|L|N)? I think you locked me out,” Patrick, your driver, said.      “No, Patrick, I didn’t. I’m not alone, please get security!” you called to him. Your turned your attention to Anya, “You’ve got 5-10 minutes to say what you need to say before security gets here.”      “You need to stay away from my husband. You’re the reason this all started. He still loves me!” she ended on a shrill note. You couldn’t tell who she was trying to convince.      “Jesus, lord, help me,” you muttered rubbing your forehead. You had zero time for this shit. “Jeff didn’t cheat on you, not with me. When I met him, he seemed pretty lonely and he and I became friends and that was as far as it went. Nothing started because of me.”      “But you loved him back then, didn’t you? I know I’m not wrong about that,” she countered.      You sighed, “Yes, I did, but I never acted on it. I wasn’t even sure what I felt was love,” you told her.      She started sobbing, “Oh God, I’ve lost him.”      “You lost him a long time ago. That doesn’t mean what you had wasn’t real. It doesn’t mean you can’t find love again, it just won’t be with Jeff,” you told her in such a way as to indicate it wasn’t up for discussion.      Anya took a tissue from her purse and dabbed her eyes. “I see why he likes you. You’re tough when you need to be and nice when you don’t have to be,” she sniffled.      “This isn’t going to be a thing, is it? Am I going to be looking over my shoulder forever?” you asked her.      She scoffed, “No. I’m embarrassed. I’m too old to be acting like a middle school brat.” She reached for the unlock button. “I was grasping at straws that weren’t there. I won’t bother either of you again. I…” she paused taking off her sunglasses. Her eyes were red and puffy like she’d been crying a lot before your meeting. “I hope you can forgive me.” Anya didn’t wait for an answer, she practically sprung out of the car.      You got out on your side and saw her walking quickly away from the car and the guards that were approaching with Patrick. You rested your arms on the top of the car watching as Anya walked away. Patrick looked frantic.      “(Y|N) are you okay?!”      “I’m good,” you waved, nonchalant, but your heart was pounding in your chest.      One of the guards came over to you and the other went to catch up to Anya.      “Are you okay?” officer Mathis asked.      “Yes, I’m fine, we both are. She just scared me. I wasn’t expecting to see her,” you told him.      “Do you want to press any charges?” he asked you.      “No, but could you make sure she gets home okay? She’s had a rough day,” you said. “Call her a cab or something?”

     Security needed you for another ten minutes before they had the information the needed for their report and let you and Patrick go on your way. Once you were off the lot, Patrick looked at you in his rear-view mirror.      “I am so sorry, (Y|N),” Patrick said. “I only left the car to get you.”      “It’s okay, Patrick,” you said. “She didn’t mean any harm. She knows she screwed up. And I’ll survive a hot car for a few minutes if you lock it from now on.”      “Are you always this nice?” he asked, expecting an ass-chewing.      “Nah, sometimes I’m cute,” you smirked. “I can rip you a new one if you want, Patrick, but I really just want to go home. Would you put the divider thingy up?”      The hum of the electric motor on the divider began almost immediately. You pulled out your phone from your bag. The green light was blinking. You pushed the button to light up the display. Two missed calls from Jeff.      You flipped open your phone and held down the #2 button. “Calling Jeff” You sighed and closed your eyes as the phone rang.      “Hey, sweetheart,” he answered.      You felt a knot in your shoulder relax. Your hand absently went to the star that hung around your neck.      “Hello m’love,” you said like a hum. “On my way.”      “Sweet. So, tell me, how was your first day?” he asked.      You glossed over the small details, but you filled him in on Jared and his antics. He was happy to hear about Julius and asked if he was still stuck in the 70s. You told him he was and that his pantsuit today was spectacular. Jeff told you to give him his best when you saw him again. Then you got down to it. You told him about Anya.      “You’re too nice. You shoulda kicked her ass,” he said, the fury evident in his voice. It always dropped in tone when he was mad. Thankfully, you rarely saw his temper and it was never directed at you.      “C’mon, you know that’s not fair. She…” you sighed, you really were too nice. “She was just having a hard time coming to terms with letting you go.”      He paused for a few moments. Jeff had cut her little slack since she filed for divorce.      “I’m not asking you to be nice. I’m just saying it’s hard on her too, even though she filed,” you said.      “How’d I ever get someone like you in my life?” he asked.      “Bad taste and pure luck,” you joked.      As usual, he knew what you meant, the bad movie you both worked on, and maybe Anya, too. The pure luck was just that they happened to meet on that shit-show.      “Ouch! Well, I’d do it all again if it means I get to have you. We already know what a catch I am,” he was such a charmer.

     Somehow, you’d managed to find time to figure out how the gear shifting worked on motorcycles and got some good practice time in. You were getting better quickly, but Jeff insisted on taking you to and from work for another week to get you solid on the bike. It was nice, you got to take little naps on the way home. After one week of getting up before the sun, he thought you were good enough to ride in on your own.

     Work was good too. You figured out what it took to get Jared to where he needed to be, on time, and production was happy. Once you got that worked out, the rest of your work became much easier and you were less exhausted at the end of the day. Sometimes, you even ran lines with Jared.      “You sure you never acted before?” he asked you.      “Oh yes, I love the craft, but I freeze up when people are watching,” you explained.      “You were great with me just now,” he said.      “You, I know. We’re cool. It’s different when it’s for show,” you clarified. “I just can’t manage to spit it out when the money is on the line.”      “You should try it again some time, go to auditions. I’ll help you if you want,” he offered.      You chuckled at the thought, “You’re a sweet guy.” You didn’t say any more, but the seed idea had been planted, just the same.       Some of your favorite days were rain delay days. It only happened twice, but on those days, you and Jared hung out and talked books and travel and whatever else came to mind. You figured out why it was Jared ate so much food and never put on any weight. He literally couldn’t sit still. He was active all the time. If he wasn’t exercising, he was a voracious reader exercising his mind. He was great to talk to also, you learned a ton from him. He thought it was cool that you’d learned to ride a motorcycle, as well as appreciated your gaming skills.

     You were finishing up a night shoot and everyone had gone home already. After night shoots, people scattered like ants from set where wrap was called. You had forgotten to put your jacket in your bag and went back to Jared’s trailer to grab it. When you went to start the Norton, it wouldn’t turn over. You had a small panic before you called Jeff for help.      “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said.      “What the hell am I supposed to do? I’m not gonna sleep in Jared’s trailer, I need to get home to let Bisou out,” your panic was still going.      Jeff was out of town doing a guest spot on another show and couldn’t come down to Burbank to help you.      “Baby, it’s okay,” he said again. “Let me get off the phone and see what I can do. I’ll call you back.”      You walked around the lot pacing off your nervous energy. Maybe five minutes passed before Jeff called you back.      “That was quick,” you answered, “please tell me you have good news.”      You could hear him sigh, he was so patient with you and your stress. “(Y|N), my buddy Norman is already on the way. He’s not too far from you and he used to fix bikes back in the day.”      “Is this the buddy Norman that sends you all the weird shit?” you asked.      You hear Jeff chuckle, “Yeah, that’s the one. He’s a good guy. If he can’t get the Norton running, he’ll take you home.”      “Okay, I’ll be on the lookout for him,” you said.

     You went to the security shack to let them know you were having a guest and where you’d be. Twenty minutes later, you heard the rumble of another motorcycle pull up. He pulled off his helmet to reveal his short cut sandy blonde hair. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans with converse shoes and black Ray-Bans. He strode over to you, his hand outstretched. You knew you’d seen him before, but you couldn’t remember if Jeff had introduced you.      You took his hand, noticing it was already greasy.      “Hi, I’m Norman,” he said. “Jeff’s told me a lot about you.”      “Nice to meet you,” you said. “Jeff told you about me huh? All I can remember is that he told me you can fix bikes.”      “Yeah, used to do it in my past life,” he said, looking at the bike, then you.      “I’m sorry, have we met before? I feel like we’ve met,” you say.      “Nah, I get that a lot,” he said. Was he blushing? “So, what’s going on?”      You told him what you knew, which wasn’t much and he started fiddling with the bike. He had you watch so that if this happened again, you’d know what to do.      “Ah, fuck it, you got shit to do, right?” he said, frustrated when he couldn’t get it running.      You nodded to him.      “Alright, get your stuff, let’s get outta here. I can come back later and take it to my buddy’s shop,” he said putting his tools away.      He handed you a rag and you cleaned off the little bit of grease you had on your hands.      “Now you’re a real biker chick. Not a real one until you’ve had to work on your bike in the middle of nowhere. It’s not nowhere, but it may as well be,” he said as you clicked your helmet chin strap in place.      “Ready?” he asked.      “As I’ll ever be,” you said.      “Hop on,” he told you.      You swung a leg over and your feet found the pegs. If he drove anything like Jeff, you’d be hanging on for dear life, so you wrapped your arms around your new friend’s chest. It finally hit you how you knew Norman.      “Oh shit, you played Murphy McManus. Dude, I liked your movie,” you said into his ear.      He patted your hands that were gripping your own arms. “Jeff told me you were a cool chick.”

     Norman got you home in no time and Bisou was so happy to see you. She was a good girl and didn’t make a mess in the house. Norman made sure you got inside okay and assured you he’d take care of the Norton for you, but that you’d probably need to make arrangements for tonight to get to work.      “Can you work something out?” he asked. “I’ve got a thing I have to be at tonight, but if the bike isn’t ready by tomorrow, I can take you then.”      “Oh, you’re sweet. Yeah, I think I can call Jared to get me,” you said. You thanked him profusely for his help and told him that you, he and Jeff would have to get together sometime to have dinner and drinks. He thought that was a good idea too and you both said your goodbyes. You decided you liked that guy, Norman.

     Jeff was absolutely wonderful. Living with him had been a dream. You and he got along so well, it was almost gross. There was only one thing that caused a little fight between the two of you, it was about his manager, Marne. Marne was a family friend and had been doing a decent job, but she was also the one who got him the gig on the crap movie you two met on. That was about the nicest thing you could say about her. She had not been doing the best job of getting scripts for Jeff and you let him know it.      “I’m not going to fire someone that’s been like family to me,” he said.      “She could be doing so much better for you! Hell, I bet I could get you a better script than what she’s been pulling in,” you said, hot.      “Oh, you think you can do better than someone who’s been doing this work a hell of a lot longer than you? You’ve been in this business for four years, (Y|N), Marne has been doing this for over 20,” Jeff countered, just as hot.      “Looks like it’s time for Marne to retire!”      You dropped the conversation after that, but you hoped it had stuck in his mind a little bit, at least. A few days later, because you could be just as stubborn as he, you finally said you were sorry for your outburst about Marne. After all, it was getting close to time for you to go back to Philly and you didn’t want to leave Jeff on a sour note.      “I’m sorry I was an asshole,” you told him. “I just want all of the good things for you.”      You were sitting on the back patio having dinner. Jeff took a drink of his whisky. “I’m sorry I took a shot at your experience.”      “Well, I was being an asshole… I kinda deserved it,” you conceded. It didn’t mean you thought you were wrong. Marne could have been doing so much better.      A few days later, the Norton was packed away in Jeff’s garage, you played with Bisou in the backyard for a few hours and then you were back on a plane to Philly. Alone, again.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

We would move all the good guys home then all the bad to a gas bunker

Then I would go in and clear out Pluto who couldn't tell good from Evil and they would tell on me.

So I would wait... Because the door alarm which would be the cue to not gas but then the guards would run and I'd make them catch me.

So they would cut my legs off.

Except that one time. That guy Stewart was with. And he killed a few months ago -- Pluto brought him back. He was still alive. That's why we did that celebration.

He saw them to chop off my legs but I would wait till they were out to grow feet and get up... And he fought them and grabbed me off the floor.

That was the first time i told my dad

Dad: it was the 89th time

DOD: we have here the 46th

Dad: she will lie. I know because I know how many times she pushed the emergency door to set the alarm and how many times she disappeared for weeks after, healing herself on her own.

Me: y'all know i don't know numbers i ask y'all. Like i wrote in my diary "Dear Diary, lost legs today 895th time. Guess i didn't need them that bad"

Dad: that's why that Tree was in NYC because she would do anything for someone who couldn't do it for themselves. I didn't raise her to be that way.

Me: yeah you did dad. Cause you let me go in there

Dad: I didn't know you would lose your legs! I thought you were out with your friends! Not by yourself in a dark bedroom all alone. Going up stairs to eat in the middle of the night so no one would see you on crutches.

DOD: 795 times according to your records she went with you to gas evil peasants and she sounded the alarm. To save 8,000 Trillion souls!

Me: it's easier to grow one set of legs 795 times than 8,000trillion once

DOD: well our numbers are way off. You saved at least 13 zillion people and their souls. And except for Dunedin Florida where you went to school 89% of the time, the rest of your education was 6-9% of the school year the rest of the time you were in the bunker killing all across the world.

Dad: did it hurt getting your legs cut off?

Me: yeah, but it was only 795 times. Not 8000trillion. I took the pain for all of them because I knew it hurt. And it hurt me far less than it would hurt them. And i knew I could take it. But I didn't know they could. My job was to save lives and not let anyone get hurt. I did it 8000trillion times. I only got hurt 795.

Matt: shit! You're insane! I like my legs!

Me: it's a good ratio and I'm alive unlike my dumb husband. But okay so he saved me because it was me they were gonna kill. Legless is easier than pregnant. Too much stress on the brain with hormones and all.. I got forgetful and forgot to shut the hatch in the closet floor. I had to wait till they all moved out and got hot and i just forgot. Wanted to get outside in the cool air.

Dad: that's A lot of burden to carry. No wonder your heart broke and you died. So your amnesia was a gift to the world. Or you wouldn't be here today. I know that for a fact, you would killed yourself long ago. And that is why you have Annie. That you do know because you can't be alone after all that.

Stephen: no wonder I wanted to kill you. You did kill an Abu.

Me: i couldn't kill anyone after that. I couldn't go in the bunker, every one asked "where is William?"

Matt: I would have quit, too

Me: once you lose one after all that... It makes everything you ever did worthless.

William: I should not had asked you to not finish healing me. Its my fault dad.

Dad: yeah and I know

DoD: so you been mourning over 20 years?

Me: no i been living and fighting what the underground does to people when they finally come above ground so i knew how to start and end WWIII by myself. It took 20 years to kill the poison in my mind. Seconds to kill them. This kid said he would go hime and they would say he wasn't recognized. Because the evil clones they made to replace humans so no one noticed they were gone.

DoD: and why did they do that?

Dad: power.

Me: because we murdered them with gas. So they made replacements. That's why my legs got cut off 795 times. Because those people needed to get back so they weren't replaced with something worse.

Dad: you see no power in here?

Me: that bitch was scared of me. Most people are. The power in not getting caught.., but it's just the power of fear.

Dad: but we all knew why not just admit it?

Me: because we murdered evil. We should started with them. Stopped them instead of undermining them. Just playing in quicksand. Then they saw it worked that the people returned because they did Thomas Jefferson in their homes. So sending them all home didn't work I was told until now when we said that people were being kidnapped and remember if you forgot.

Dad: like you did in the 80s.

DoD: you wrote here... Ohmygod!! Thomas Jefferson was a clone?! Why did Pluto try to take over our planet?!

Me: IDK but now it's our moon soon. Oh we used love. They used machines. So they wanted our resources and planet because ours didn't suck like theirs. Now we are no different than Pluto with technology except they make thwt shit that doesn't work that everyone blames China for because it's made for Pluto and their lower quality of life at a slower pace. Their kings are all down syndrome.

DoD: oh my Jesus. It says it right here!!! 2008.

Me: so I spent 12.9 solid years in the bunker when consolidated and 20 years out consecutive.

DoD: took a long time for your legs to grow. A solid year! 17 months.

Me: 14.5 years

Saint Lucis Abu Stephen: why cut your legs so many times? You just do one and they cant cut them again

Me: because I could not sneak in like i was just kidnapped and lost. They would know why I was there and I wouldn't be able to save any one. Jist be put into solitary, so i put myself and let my legs grow. Spent a lot of less time and in freedom even if I hid. It was my personal space not there's and I could leave any time I wanted by just walking out the door. As if I were with friends and not enemy companionship.

Saint Lucis: and you didn't tell your dad?!

Me: Matt knew.. At first... Then well he always knew... But it became just a joke. The Terminator Twins. We will be back! My legs always said. Plus me and him. I tried to once to go with out legs. I did my first run but felt stupid. Said I was in a car accident. Got pit in the jail for 6 days got out in 5. Had to go heal. Set dad back a week. Just held my chin up while he told me all about how I fucked shit all up for everyone.

Saint Lucis: how old were you

Me: 6 and a half.

Saint Lucis: years?!?

Me: yeah.

Saint Lucis: and you didn't say well I didn't have legs?!

Me: I got yelled at for 10 minutes. Meanwhile moms at home were going fucking wits end cause their son was sad and had Darth Vadar watch Luke Skywalker flush everyone down the toilet to make that point that he needed to something about getting home. So why cry about it when 100 times people more than me were crying for just one person like our trailer park did all of us? Take a beating and move on. Save it all for the eQ2 next time you see her. So that she makes more repulsive creatures to make our job absolutely pointless. Hindsight is only 2020. Which sucks.

St Lucis: Sabrina You're one of the nicest people I know

Me: its cause I got a crazy twin that flushes toy people down the toilet for revenge. I saw what pain does to people. Makes them do things that aren't happy. They refuse to be happy. I always thought. Until William died. And I realized it was just an impossibility. I was curious about the world when dad got taken. I saw a lot of people unhappy but I didn't understand it. Because I wanted to fix it. So I never felt that dispair.

Saint Lucis: shocking. Just little miss fix it

Matt: that makes sense why you are crazy and I'm not.

Me: you got all the weird genes. Lucky Luscious tell me about why you say hostage when I say kidnapped so i can make law we kill kidnappers immediately.

Saint Lucis: well I'll tell you my dad petty officer McNabb says they targets military and their families to get resource money. For hostage negotiations. But they didn't have linked databases back then So no-one knew how being uncooperative during negotiations was causing such a surplus of kidnapped victims. Because they wouldn't pay for a hostage to be returned so they wouldn't be extorted. So they turned them into indentured servants for life

Me: but they always knew that no one would pay.

Saint Lucis: then it's a law. Lets vote.

#paytoreleasehostages #killkidnappers

[scoutaroo-blog]

Worn-out Minds & Wandering Eyes (Part 1/2)

After visiting Polly at Sisters of Quiet Mercy, Betty & Jughead miss the last bus back to Riverdale.

Read on AO3

“I’m sorry, the next bus to Riverdale isn’t until 7 a.m. tomorrow morning.”

Betty and Jughead stood in the bus terminal, staring at each other.

“What do we do?” Betty asked.

Before Jughead could answer, the lady behind the counter pointed to nothing in particular. “There’s a motel across the street.”

Jughead sighed, frustrated and pinched the bridge of his nose. He put his hand on Betty’s back and led her toward the exit. “Come on, Betts,” he said and she could hear in his voice how exhausted he was.

Jughead unlocked the motel room door, the last one available. He pushed the door open and flicked on the light. Betty and Jughead’s eyes immediately landed on the one queen-sized bed, but neither of them addressed it. Betty walked through the door that Jughead was holding open. She lifted her bag over her head, pulled her grey jacket off, and set them both down. She walked to the centre of the room, turning around slowly, taking everything in. Jughead watched her and when she turned to face him, she smiled sheepishly. She sat down on the bed and laughed when it creaked loudly. Jughead sat down next to her.

“Ok… I am getting serious Bates Motel vibes from this place,” Jughead teased.

Betty laughed again and without thinking, leaned her head on his shoulder.

He tensed for just a second.

“I am sooo tired,” Betty sighed dreamily. Then her face contorted in a very childlike frown. “I don’t have pajamas.”

Jughead moved her to sit up.

“Here,” he said, standing up. First, he shrugged out of his denim jacket and then his dark green flannel, leaving him in only his black, long-sleeved shirt. He held out the flannel to her. She suppressed a smile and stood up, taking the shirt from his hands and running her fingers over the soft fabric.

“Thanks,” she said softly before walking around the bed to the bathroom and shutting the door.

Betty lifted her blue sweater over her head and removed the blouse underneath. She unbuttoned her jeans and slid them off, taking her time to pile everything neatly on the counter. She pulled on Jughead’s flannel and was immediately enveloped in his scent, a mix of Red Vines, smoke – likely left over from living in the trailer with his father – and something else she could only describe as autumn that was uniquely Jughead. Her eyes fluttered closed. She buttoned the shirt up with shaky fingers and rolled her eyes at herself. Relax, Betty. So, you're going to share a bed with Jughead... it's no big deal! She pulled her ponytail free and immediately felt the pressure in her temples melt away. She fingered her blonde hair and shook it out. She looked at herself in the mirror and bit her bottom lip. Seeing herself in nothing but Jughead’s shirt made her chest constrict in a totally new and not totally terrible way. She thought of giving it back to him tomorrow, her scent mixed with his and felt a fluttering in the pit of her stomach. Seriously, stop. She picked up her clothes and held them to her chest. She put her hand on the doorknob, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Jughead was in his shirt and boxers, but most surprising, his beloved beanie sat on the bedside table. He was pulling the sheets on the bed back, but he looked up when she entered the room. Betty saw his eyes bulge just a little. She swore she could feel a trail of heat travel up her bare legs over the flannel all the way to her mussed hair as Jughead raked his eyes over her. She was sure she was blushing. He quickly remembered himself and respectfully averted his eyes.

“I think it looks better on you,” he mumbled, his voice a little breathless.

In an attempt to alleviate the tension she was feeling, she walked over and picked up his beanie from the bedside table. “I think I need this to complete the look,” she joked, pulling it onto her head. She tried to plaster a look of brooding on her face, staring dramatically into the space behind Jughead and pouting dramatically.

He scoffed and adjusted the hat on her head. “That is a terrible me, Betts.”

Her mock smoulder slipped off her face as she broke into soft laughter. She looked up at him and realized how close they were standing.

After just a second, Betty's phone went off and she jumped. She pulled the beanie off her head and went to dig her phone out of her bag. Her mom’s picture flashed on the screen. “Oh my god. It’s my mom,” she said and looked up at Jughead with a panicked expression. “I told her I’d be home by 10.” She looked at the clock. 10:07. She took a deep breath and answered the phone. “Hi, mom,” she said too enthusiastically.

“Elizabeth Cooper, where are you?”

“Uhh… I’m at Veronica’s. I’m sorry. I completely forgot to call. Is it ok if I spend the night here?”

“I don’t think so Elizabeth. You know how I feel about-“

“I know, mom, but please? V is really upset about her… father. And she could really use my support right now. I don’t wanna be a bad friend.” She heard her mother sigh on the other end of the line and shut her eyes, awaiting her mother’s answer. If her mother told her to come home right now, she would be in serious trouble.

“Alright, Elizabeth, fine. Just don’t stay up too late because you know you get bags under yours eyes when y-”

“I won’t.”

Her mom started listing off more instructions at her.

“Mmm hmm.”

“I will.”

Jughead watched Betty listen to her mother on the other end, occasionally rolling her eyes and giving one-word, distracted answers. He held up a complementary toothbrush and gestured toward the bathroom. Betty nodded, still half listening to her mom. “Uh huh, got it mom. Thanks. Bye.” She hung up the phone and immediately texted Veronica, asking her to cover for her if her mom called and telling her she’d explain tomorrow.

Betty dropped her phone back into her bag and walked over to the bed. She unhooked her key necklace, pulling the chain out from under her hair as Jughead returned.

They couldn’t look at each other. They both sat on opposite sides of the bed, turning and lifting their legs onto the bed. Jughead folded the blankets back so he could pull them back up over his legs while Betty just bents her knees and slipped her toes underneath. They lay back, as far apart from each other as possible. Betty hazarded a glance at Jughead at the same time he turned his head to look at her. Their eyes met and Betty felt an unmistakable heat rise to her cheeks.

“We have to be up early,” Jughead said like he was trying to convince himself of something.

Betty nodded slowly.

“We should go to sleep,” he finished in a disarmingly gentle tone.

Betty nodded again. She turned away from him to switch the lamp off, bathing them in darkness.

“Goodnight, Jug.”

“Night, Betts.”

Jughead fell asleep surprisingly fast. Betty would have pegged him for a restless sleeper, but he drifted off in a matter of minutes. He must have been even more tired than she thought. Betty turned on her side to face him. At some point, they had both migrated closer to the centre of the bed. Betty slid closer still, careful not to wake him. She took a self-indulgent minute while he was dead to the world to really look at him. He really was beautiful. His eyebrows, usually furrowed with worry or stress, were smooth. She wished she could see him like this more often, worry-free and peaceful. His dark eyelashes dusted the tops of his cheeks. She followed the trail of freckles on his olive skin from the hollow of his neck to the edge of his t-shirt and watched his chest rise and fall with his even breaths. His black hair fell over his eyes. Emboldened by the darkness and this quiet moment of isolation from the madness of their hometown, Betty reached out and brushed the hair away from his face, letting the pads of her fingertips trail along the soft skin of his forehead. She heard Jughead sigh in his sleep and snapped her hand away quickly, closing her eyes. When he didn't stir any further, Betty opened one eye and then the other. She moved even closer to him and pressed her bare knee against his thigh at the edge of his cotton boxers. She let her hand fall so that her fingertips were resting lightly against his palm. She laid her head on the bed right next to his chest. Betty could hear the steady beats of Jughead's heart and she lets them lull her to sleep.

PART 2