#and nick sand ray and mew just have it on their phones

[fandomfairyuniverse]

The journey of this sex tape is so unhinged like nick records the audio. Uses it as torture porn for a bit. Then he plays it for sand. Sand also doesn’t tell anyone for a while. Sand then gets particularly pissed off at top so he concocts this whole plan to acquire the tape so that he can give it to ray because he knows ray will tell mew about it. Ray gives it to mew. Mew then uses it to give top a heart attack while pretending they’re going to have sex. It’s like a demented game of hot potato.

[qazastra]

i like that only friends is so predictable honestly lmaoooo but that made ep 4 all the more jarring when it just pulled out the most high stakes plot (imo) so far apropos of nothing

[invisiblegarters]

Okay, okay.

After even more thinking maybe just maybe Ray's explosion on Sand was karmic retribution lol.

Because I've been thinking about it and.

Well.

This was not a heat of the moment plan for him. Not even a little. Dude had to get his drink (that poor server jfc what did she ever do to either of those messy bitches), go back to his mom, probably give her a ride home.

And then he still cold bloodedly broke his own phone (which let's be real for someone living like Sand does that is DEDICATION to his goal), then came in laying it on super thick about his mom to Nick so that he'd rush to fix it and lend him his. Sent himself the audio.

Then he called Ray up and invited him out to hang after blowing him off for who knows how long (and Ray clearly thought they were there to make up, okay, I might not be this ship's biggest supporter but even I could see that) just so he can use his feelings for Mew against him.

The conversation was so fucked, too. Sand immediately (and repeatedly I say again I'm not this ship's biggest supporter but one of them was actively trying here and it wasn't Sand) steering it away from Ray's attempts to talk about them to swerve to Mew is just...I love it. Complimenting Mew and saying he can totally see why everyone is in love with him? The way he played the audio right there (you are all so creepy for this my god will you please stop playing that clip at each other like the world's most fucked up game of telephone?). The casual drop that he knows how bad Top is because he also lost a lover to him (oh the parallels he deliberately put down there Sand you evil genius). And then rounding it up with "it's so great Mew has someone who cares about him as much as you."

All the while watching him to see how well his words were taking root. I'm floored because I genuinely thought he was gonna pull some stupid selfless bullshit like "I can't have you but I can give you what you want." Instead he just torpedoed several relationships and all it took was breaking a phone he knows his IT roommate will probably fix for free.

Boston fucking wishes.

It's so mean and I love it my dude is finally showing off just how fucked up he can be when crossed I think this is better than the baseball bat.

[heretherebedork]

Mew is confident enough to not just turn Top down but also agree to let him share his bed and cuddle but not fuck. Mew knows not just himself and his worth but also his limits and his value.

Ray has no confidence. He gets too drunk to function, calls himself a burden, pulls away from any real show of emotion, lashes out at everyone around him and doesn't understand why they're annoyed because why should what he says matter? He's a burden, he's unimportant, he doesn't matter to anyone.

Sand is confident enough in his own identity to know that he can't jut let Ray drive drunk and that he can't leave him alone in his car because he's not trustworthy and he knows how to take care of this stray drunk-cat he's taken in but also enough confidence to be offended and kick him out and wait for the real apology when they meet up again.

Top is so confident he oozes with it like slime. He knows himself, what he wants and what he will do to get it which is anything. His awareness is high and he doesn't hesitate to act on what he wants because he knows his worth as he defines it, at least.

Nick is confident but in a gentler way. He wants what he wants and he will try and he's confident enough to take a topless picture of himself on the phone of a customer that had eyed him and turn the lights off at work to make out with him as well. You gotta have confidence to do that... but it's not loud confidence and it's not the same steady and comfortable confidence that Mew has. It's a confidence that he has but it is not firm, it is not unshakeable, it is confidence but with an unsteady base.

Boston is confident but he is confident in his exact way and in who he is and in nothing else. He is confident when he is doing what he wants and likes, he is confident when he is fucking and flirting and photographing and otherwise he is just someone out of their element and he pulls back quickly.

[respectthepetty]

I still feel bad for Top.

And . . . I think he is the only sane one of the group.

Mew - When Top slept with Boston again, no matter how much Top wanted to be Mew's boyfriend, Mew had Top down in the "just talking" stage, so he didn't cheat. Boston even pointed this out. Also, Mew wasn't upset that he has sex, but instead he was upset that it was with Boston.

Boston - Top always has to fight off Boston or give in to him and even he told Boston in the elevator that he is tired of fighting off Boston while Boston told Ray he is just greedy for Top.

Nick - He recorded both Boston and Top having sex, then told Top to leave Boston alone (the audacity). Top even warned Nick that Boston was trash pero Nicolas no le importa.

Sand - Top has tried to let the past stay in the past both times he has encountered Sand in the wild, but Sand has gone left both times and Top has matched his energy. He even tried to get Sand to call a truce, but instead, Sand stole the sex tape off of Nick's phone and gave it to Ray.

Ray - Top knows Ray is in love with Mew, which is partially the reason that Ray hates Top, but I don't know if Ray didn't spill the beans about the sex tape at the party in front of everyone because Mew already knew or because Ray has some level of ethics that these other people lack. Either way, this is why he is my #1.

Chueam - This is a me thing, but homegirl is really strange about Top. She always talks about him being top-tier TO HIS FACE and mentioned Mew losing his virginity to a top-tier guy one too many times for my liking.

YET NONE OF THIS IS EVEN ABOUT TOP!

Top is not seen as a person to any of these people and is a pawn in Boston and Mew's weird competition with each other. We done been knowing this isn't about Top.

This is about Top being the prize trophy in this toxic ass friendship!

Mew doesn't like Top. He likes the idea of Top. Because instead of making the sex about Top, Mew makes it about Boston.

Mew and Boston are two sides of the same damn coin!

Look at Top's face with both of them. He can't wrap his brain around the mental gymnastics these two are doing in order to make everything about each other. Which is why they have continued to use Top as a prop in their Toxic Ass Friends Olympics.

Then, insert Nick and Sand.

Nick is so obsessed with Boston that he Jolene-ed Top which is humorous since Top doesn't understand why anyone would openly want Boston. And Sand is so obsessed with avenging his broken heart (which is ironic that he told Ray to focus on him instead of Mew, yet this shit all went down because Sand was so focused on his EX CHEATING ON HIM that he dragged Ray into his plot for revenge!) that he won't let the past stay dead and buried, but instead decides to walk it around like a pet zombie.

Ray, even though he is in love with Mew, is the only one who got this right.

Top isn't a prize.

He isn't a cheater.

He isn't just a body for sex.

He isn't the villain.

He isn't a pawn.

He isn't a Jolene.

He is an asshole.

Surrounded by a bunch of fucking dicks.

And they all want a piece of him.

[distant-screaming]

I've been rotating Nick in my head for a hot minute but @ranchthoughts helped me straighten out my thoughts, so here's a little brainworm I had.

I think Nick reads as a voyeuristic character, not just in terms of the character itself but also as a narrative device - he acts as a sort of close proxy to the viewers. Nick goes through Boston's phone the same way we (as viewers) would be able to go through his phone by virtue of peeking over his shoulder, he wiretaps the car and is able to hear Top + Boston the same way we are, he's privy to Sand + Ray's private moment just like the viewers are - and it's almost like Nick seems to have full agency in the story but still doesn't manage to affect the plot in any significant way (thus far, at least!).

It's also very interesting because despite Boston's need for control and Mew's idea of being in charge, the character with the most information and cards up his sleeve, so to speak, is Nick. I wonder how that's going to play out.

[bengiyo]

Only Friends Ep 6 Stray Thoughts

Last week, everyone went on cute dates, revealing fascinating layers about three of our pairs. Mew is blind with love and gave it up for a man who did not answer "What do you like about me" in a way specific to Mew at all. Boston is hinting at settling down and getting turned on by Nick working out more and changing up his style. Sand is basically taking care of Ray, who keeps shoving Sand's hand in his pants. Boston, seeing Ray experience a modicum of joy, violated all guest rules and blew up his relationship with Sand in Sand's apartment while partaking of Sand's weed; a huge party foul. Sand realized how much of a clown he's been. I am embarrassed for everyone.

Happy (F*cking) Birthday

Mew was raised by lesbians. So much makes sense.

I remain embarrassed for Mew.

Friends fight, warns the teacher. I sure hope so!

You don't want to be friends with someone who sneakily recorded you? Boston, pot-kettle-black.

PINK MILK! WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK! Of course a Jojo show is going to have the seller be out of it.

I'm so ready for the outright brawl between Sand and Top.

Oh, Sand, that ploy with the phone was smooth. Nick is a techy, though, so he's probably going to notice you went through his voice recorder app.

Can't believe Mew let this man convince him to get his eyes lasered.

Damn, does everyone use Ray when they're trying to deal maximum damage to the whole group?

This dark room scene was well done, but I'm always irritated by Boston scoffing at relationships and commitment before reeling Nick back in.

Ray surprised Boston briefly with that reveal, but you can't keep a bad bitch down. Boston won that round, too.

Cheum, why are you stirring up shit at this party?

Damn, the sketches are a good play. I respect the game, Top.

I'm with Ray. Mew was cuter with glasses.

Ray went in on everyone but didn't reveal about the sleeping around.

What is it with Ray always treating Sand like he's for sale?

Is Mew using a soundbar as just a speaker? What a specific detail.

Now, there's my child of lesbians. Way to make that reveal as dramatic as possible, Mew.

Mew finally made that man cry. Now I'm ready to see the unraveling.

This was fantastic! Everyone keeps riling up Ray whenever they want to cause the most problems. Sand does not care about these people and accomplished his goal: Top loses Mew. Now he'll get to save Ray from himself again and wrap him up further. Boston also got embarrassed after starting shit with him. Even the lesbians caught strays! Sand takes this round.

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 8 ("TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR AND CRY") EDITION

Oh my gosh, I am shaking my head and just laughing. I have no idea where to start writing this, but it's gonna be damn fun to pick this episode apart.

Because of the clues that Jojo Tichakorn (below) and Ninew Pinya dropped before and during the episode's airing yesterday, my mind was totally on Freddie and Queen. I captured the tweet below and couldn't help but think of lyrics.

And the episode was titled "Save Me"!

Before I go on, I have a little personal note. During my watch of MAME's TharnType, I talked a bit about the bigotry against the queer community that I grew up with in my Indian family. During my childhood, Freddie Mercury was -- everything. He was everything to me. A part-Indian man who blasted past any obstacles that could have held him back to become a superstar, while leveraging unbelievable talent. My dad often wanted to snap my Queen CDs in half to keep Freddie out of our house. Up until I went to college, when a new world of music awaited me, Queen was MY BAND. I'll never forget watching his memorial concert on television in 1992, watching Axl Rose destroy "We Will Rock You," and subsequently watching Axl host a Queen documentary on MTV that got repeated for years and years. This shit was formative to my childhood, and I'm gonna guess, to Jojo's and Ninew's childhoods as well. We be old bags in here.

I'll get back to Freddie in a few minutes. but besides all of the Queen themes (quick note: the dude that Sand was about to make out with was wearing the same costume that Ninew caught in his IG stories, as Freddie sang "Love of My Life"), oh my fucking god, did this episode ever touch upon ephemerality, highs and lows, change, and a resistance to change that people have unto others.

Top and Cheum -- especially Top -- were clutching their pearrrrrllllsss at Mew's changes.

Top and Cheum notice that Mew's trying on a new suit. And Mew admits it! He says to Ray in the bookstore -- after the most BRILLIANT call-out to a BL trope if I ever saw one, the CRACKING of the romantic memories montage, which, omg, are we EVER seeing in Dangerous Romance, like three times a bleeping episode, LMAO -- "I'm bored with myself."

I love -- I hate it, but I love that this episode calls it out -- I love that Top and Cheum are calling this behavior out as if it were a bad thing.

Is it?

.... is it not okay for university students to take a bump of coke if they're curious about it? Barack Obama did it -- and Obama admitted it, AND wrote about it, AND became president, twice. Judge him, I dare ya.

On another side, Nick susses out Boston, and wants to check in with him. Boston wants Nick to go bye-bye. Nick tries a guilt pull. And Boston ain't having it.

Fuck. (Side note, Boston was my man this episode.)

I'm shaking my head in wonder for Mew and Boston to be addressing Top, Cheum, and Nick in this way. We've established (here and here, cc @ranchthoughts and others) that the kind of toxicity that this OF group of friends exhibits is just -- common, and pedestrian, and awful to think about existing, but in part, it's so awful for us to be thinking about it, because actually, it's ever-present in our lives, and so many of us survive dealing with other people on a daily basis by using means by which to ignore or avoid that toxicity, like our addictions to our phones, or addictions to other vices, like sex and drugs -- which takes us right back to Only Friends.

The dynamic I saw happening in this episode was like vultures (the friends) circling their prey (their friends), but instead of the friends eating their friends -- what some of the friends are doing is trying to correct the behavior of their other friends. Top and Cheum want Mew to... go back to being the old Mew, maybe. Nick wants Boston to know -- morally, I think you're a bad person. And Boston says, I paraphrase, "see. if. I. fucking. care." and literally creates the NeoTitle ship before our eyes, lmao, all while walking silently and ignoringly away from Nick.

Top, to Mew, says, "Are you sure?" Are you sure you want to be like this now, Mew? Cheum shares with Top her concern about Mew's changes, and literally teams up with Top to bring Top back to Mew to, what, straighten Mew out?

Last time I checked, Mew's a big boy. Mew's made his decisions to be with Ray, to drink with Ray, to snort coke with Ray. Are those behaviors questionable? Sure. Are they normal behaviors for a university student who is bored with himself, and wants to try something new? 100%.

I have written before, in my review of Theory of Love, that while behavioral change can oftentimes be massively difficult, there's another side to change that needs to be considered. When one person changes -- there are many others within that person's sphere that do not want that specific person TO change. If one individual changes, within a worldview of a group -- that changes a group dynamic. People like Top and Cheum are unsettled that Mew and Ray are dating, and that Mew's getting wasted and high. Are they rightfully concerned for Mew's health? For sure. But what about Mew's agency and happiness? Are the friends understanding that this is actually Mew's choice to do these things, regardless of how the friends judge his specific actions?

The fact that Top and Cheum are questioning Mew's agency, to me, is a ROOT, a FOUNDATION of the awful toxicity of this friend group, BESIDES the general drunkenness of the group, and Ray's particularly contradictory and dangerous behavior. THERE IS NO TRUST IN THIS GROUP.

Top and Cheum do not TRUST Mew -- an adult young man!!!! -- to make his own decisions. Cheum doesn't trust Boston with her little bro (oh, woops on that, big sis). Almost no one trusts Ray, although I'm not sure about Mew on that. Boston doesn't trust Nick. The list goes on.

Without trust, without a foundation of love and respect, without an acknowledgement that individuals within a group have agency to live their lives independently -- what you get in a group dynamic is UTTER mush, just a bucket of vomit like what we're seeing here in Only Friends. I am OBSESSED that Jojo and team are picking this apart SURGICALLY, and asking US to question OUR, the viewers', judgement of all of this. These friends are contradictory as fuck. Boston was SO right to ask Nick: "who are you to judge?" Nick acted as filthily as Boston in violating Boston's privacy and rights -- TWICE, bros, TWICE.

And Top.... @lurkingshan said it the best yesterday when she made sure the girlies knew that what Top was doing TO (NOT FOR, TO) Mew at the end of the episode was not consensual. Welp. Tie up Mew's agency with a bow and throw it out into the fucking dumpster, Top.

I haven't touched as much on the Sand/Ray dynamic in this post, but of characters that are acting at least consistently to their... what, their moral judgements or ethical structures, at least Sand, Ray, and Boston remain consistent in my eyes. Anyone who was surprised at Ray's behavior in this episode -- it was bad and icky, and the episode laid it on thick, but I found his behavior to be expectedly toxic.

This was a two-steps-forward-and-one-step-back episode for Sand, as I see it, as he stepped in to try to keep Ray from going to jail (and how interesting was it that it was Top who ended up sealing that deal). One other note about Sand: the show HAS to be making fun of First's inability to sing, right? That guitar practice in 2/4, oof. And to have Sand dress up as Freddie, one of the most magnificent singers in rock -- ironic. We know that Sand doesn't aspire to be a singer; he just wants to go to festivals, and... that's the right decision, my dude.

Anyway. To bring this back to Freddie and Queen. Talk about shapeshifting. In his 20s in the 1970s, Freddie Mercury started out with long hair and flowing, robe-y costumes. As the 1980s progressed, he took on an identity of a mustachioed, slightly muscular man -- very, very closeted, but clearly gay to anyone who caught the signal.

The dude that Sand was about to make out with at the party? He made a reference to Mary Austin, Freddie's longtime companion and best friend. They were lovers for a short period, before Freddie came out to her. And they remained friends all of the rest of his life. While Freddie died with a longtime lover by his side in Jim Hutton, Mary was always present and devoted to Freddie. Mary's presence often caused consternation with Freddie's lovers, especially after his death, what with inheritance controversies. But no one ever questioned Mary's loyalty, and her commitment to keeping Freddie's identity secret and safe.

Freddie and Mary's friendship was in part a protective arrangement for his life in the closet. He only revealed he had AIDS the day before he died. But Freddie claimed the friendship, claimed agency to it, and wanted it in his life. The friendship was steady, and never wavering.

Quite the opposite of the devotions, or lack thereof, in this group. These young folks are demonstrating NORMAL resistance to watching each other change. But while that resistance is normal... it doesn't make it all the less toxic. I'm afraid that as of right now, I read that all of these friends want to sell each other out for the sake of their own selfish desires, and for the benefit of their own worldviews alone.

HAPPY SUNDAY, Ephemerality Squad, if we can be happy after this demonstration of toxicity, ha! @slayerkitty @ranchthoughts @chickenstrangers @lurkingshan @twig-tea @distant-screaming @clara-maybe-ontheroad @neuroticbookworm @elizabethsebestianhedgehog @thatgirl4815

[chalkrevelations]

Is there wrangling about who's the framing/POV character of Ep 8 of Only Friends? Really? Because clearly, it's Boston. Yes, he's got the outro, but that only emphasizes what's evident throughout the entire ep - this is Boston's episode, because this is how he sees himself.

This episode is Boston's experience of life - surrounded by drama because everyone around him is acting completely irrationally over all of their disingenuous relationship bullshit (when he warned half of them in the first place - Sand, in fact, is experiencing precisely what Boston warned him would happen), punctuated by multiple times Cheum decides to be a heinous asshole to him while he's just trying to have a beer and enjoy his homo vibe.

This is an episode in which we're given a picture of him as fully human, as complex and layered, rather than as a "heartless slut" who doesn't care about anything but himself and fucking, and whose emotional depth doesn't extend further than smug superiority and bitchy - if not downright malevolent - sneers. I mean, all you really have to do is look at Neo's face throughout this episode, compared to the other eps. This is a Boston who's soft enough to look like a marshmallow compared to how we've seen him in previous eps - how we see him through other eyes.

He sits around day-drinking over selfies of himself and Nick. He has a completely mundane beer with Atom and shoots the shit about SOs. He looks halfway excited to get an invitation to a party that will let him interact with his estranged friends. There's his entire face journey when Nick approaches him at the party, including the deliberate attempt to snub the person who betrayed him and to look casual doing it, but with none of the sneering savagery we see him level at Ray in the aftermath of their fistfight in an earlier ep. Why do you care so much, if you don't care, Boston? We get that weird almost companionable moment when Boston zips his lip and sits there together with Top, and his reaction to Mew gearing up for his trashtalk of the sluts. And tbqh, from the look on Boston's face at the end of the ep, I don't know that he actually intends (at that point) to fuck Atom so much as scare him off by taking him home. This is a look at Boston that all his hard, glossy armor doesn't allow anyone else to see - an interior look.

We don't actually see Boston for a lot of the ep because that's also his experience of life - just like his closet darkroom closet is filled with photos of men he slept with but that never feature Boston, himself. Boston is the subject behind the camera, not the object of the gaze - in his sex life, in his life, in this ep. I don't know enough about Boston yet to know for sure whether and how much he wants to be seen, but I do know that he knows he's not supposed to be seen. To be perceived is to invite disaster.

I'm beginning to wonder, though - thanks to the look at him that this ep affords - how much he might want to be seen, and how much those selfies with Nick are a key to this. Unlike the voyeuristic recordings by both Gap and Nick, which flip the script so that Boston is (unwittingly and nonconsensually) made the object of attention, the selfies with Nick allow Boston to become both - not just the subject behind the camera, and also not just the object of attention, given that in one of those photos (I think the one on Nick's camera?) the arm positioning looks like Boston took the photo. These selfies allow him to test out an existence in which he's someone who's integrated both aspects, participating in his own life rather than holding himself apart and aloof, but also able to have the distance to observe it as well. We see that Boston places some kind of value on those selfies that he's kept on his phone, and this ep's look into him might indicate that he also places some kind of value on the experience they represent.

[chaos0pikachu]

Ray's Alcoholism vs Revenge Porn of Boston

tldr: the show's got a tone problem like whoa, some plots are treated as Serious while others are treated as Devices when they share the same level of fucked up

I wanted to write about this a bit b/c it goes to the root of one of the main issues I have with the show: tonal dissonance

I've seen people talk about tone in shows before, some folks felt like Kinnporsche had a tone issue b/c of the comedy but I always disagreed with that. The comedy added levity, it also enabled the stakes to slowly build. The front half of the show is more comedic than the middle and back half when the tensions are highest. The tone doesn't yo-yo rapidly, it doesn't treat some things as serious and others as not. When Porsche is drugged and sleeps with Kinn it's treated as something serious, represented symbolically by the bruises Porsche is covered in after his punishment, and later Kinn apologizes and asks for forgiveness which is the turning point of their relationship.

This matches up with Pete and Vegas later, even down to the parallels of Pete's bruised body to Porsche's earlier in the series. Later, Vegas, similarly to Kinn, has to ask for Pete's forgiveness; though in a more violent way because that's built into Vegas and Pete's relationship and what sets them apart from Kinn and Porsche (this is a good thing for the narrative imo). Even so, both aspects are treated with the same weight, and seriousness within the narrative. There is no tone issue.

This is where Only Friends falters, only certain plots are treated with a level of seriousness while others aren't.

The biggest example of this is Ray's alcoholism vs the revenge porn of Boston.

Ray's alcholism is treated with weight, with a level of seriousness and respect. The narrative repeatedly makes it clear to the audience Ray's drinking is A Bad Thing, that it's Dangerous to both himself and others. Other characters comment on this, there's an implied history of Ray's friends trying to get him to stop drinking, a huge part of Ray and Sand's relationship is centered around Ray's drinking and how it negatively effects them. Ray goes to rehab, he goes to therapy, there narrative paints a pathway for betterment.

Before anyone jumps me, I'm not saying any of this is a bad thing. The tonal dissonance comes in when compared to other plots that should be treated with the same level of seriousness but isn't.

Gap records Boston during sex without his permission, Mew acknowledges this in text that this is what happened and Gap violated Boston's consent. However, when Boston discusses this he only has a moment where he gets mad, and the person he talks about it with, Nick, brushes it off (once to hide his own deception but put a pin in that) and even teases Boston that he deserves it for sleeping around.

Later, Mew uses this revenge porn as blackmail against Boston specifically as punishment. Mew knows this video was taken without Boston's consent, he says so in the text, and he still uses it and keeps a copy of the video on his phone. We never see a follow-up to this. We see Boston in that singular scene look upset, but that's it. When Cheum and Top are concerned about Mew's reckless behavior the blackmail with revenge porn is never something that is revealed to them, or others, Boston never tells anyone else about it.

It's just dropped. Completely.

The line Mew has about Boston's consent is lip service, because he uses that violation to punish Boston. Combine this with the way Nick's recording of Boston and Top (without either of their consent) is also treated. It's passed around, like candy. Sand apologies to Nick for sharing it with Ray. Top never reacts to this recording as something violating he's just upset they got caught. Boston is the only one upset, and he's upset with Nick, but the narrative frames Nick as the real victim in the following episodes - with Dan saying Nick might have been mistreated after sex previously (as the audience we know this is about Boston), with Boston saying he did awful things to Nick (which were?), with Sand offering empathy to Nick b/c Boston's actually a bad guy.

So when I talk about tonal dissonance in the show, this is what I mean. We have two plots - and there's more this is just the most glaring example - that should hold the same narrative weight: one is centered on addiction the other a literal sex crime, bit only the former is treated with any level of seriousness.

Ray's alcoholism is given empathy by the narrative, Boston's virtual assault is given none.

and this is why I say the narrative is puritanical at times lol

[ranchthoughts]

various thoughts and musings on Only Friends and ephemerality, inspired by @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan's thoughts here

In her post, @waitmyturtles pointed out how the theme of ephemerality in time and life has popped up in the show so far: in Ray, who blacks out and can't remember the previous night; in Boston, king of the one night stand; in the atmosphere of the show (Cheum telling Mew to get with Top, because they are facing COVID, airborne particles, and radiation); in Mew who bucks the paradigms of his friend group (doesn't take shots, remains a virgin, etc.), who wants to take his time/get Top to stick around, to reject ephemerality, unlike his friends.

This all got me thinking about how time and ephemerality show up in elsewhere in Only Friends and in the other characters' lives.

We have, of course, the ephemeral and short-term one night stands contrasted against the non-one night stands (Boston's whole deal vs. what Mew wants from Top), but even the question of "ephemeral" one night stands is getting complicated here. Boston has lots of one night stands, but also he wants another go with Top, and he returns to Nick several times. What does Boston think about "letting things age like plum wine" as it were? Why isn't he interested in longer-term relationships?

We also learn this episode that Sand has his fair share of one night stands too. In the preview for the next episode, Sand says he's never slept with someone who is not his lover more than once. Here we see a contrast between short-term/ephemeral hookups and longer-term relationships - Sand has both one night stands and lovers, temporary and lasting. Sand and Ray are not lovers/boyfriends, therefore the sexual element of their relationship (and perhaps even their friendship itself) must be temporary, according to Sand. Why does Sand draw these distinctions, why is he placing Ray in the category of short-term hookup and not relationship material (if he is actually doing that)? How does his view of short term vs. long-term relationships differ from Boston's?

Mew wants longevity with Top and doesn't want a one night stand, but as waitmyturtles pointed out/we saw in this second episode, he also wants to go back to the beginning and have Top hit on him again. He wants something permanent, but there is this also this thread of ephemerality, of going back in time, of starting again/forgetting what came before, present in his story line just as there is in Boston's.

Boston and Nick are "temporary" lovers (despite Boston returning to Nick several times, enough that Nick is surprised and wants the relationship defined), Sand and Ray are "temporary" lovers (despite Ray wanting to continue a friendship through it), Mew and Top are "lasting" lovers (though Mew clarifies that he only accepted Top as his boyfriend because he felt embarrassed by the public question, and asks if they can start at the beginning again).

Waitmyturtles and lurkingshan got into the idea of "seize the day," "live now because we won't live forever," and that is reflected in a lot of these characters' story lines. Nick recognizes Boston when he comes into the phone store and decides to seize the day, take advantage of this once in a lifetime chance to get with him. He has to move fast not to lose it. Sand and Ray throw caution into the wind and sleep together, despite Sand's warning that they can no longer be "just friends" after this. Boston wants Top one more time, even if that means getting Top to cheat on his boyfriend. There's a carpe diem vibe, a recklessness, even a disregard for consequences, to their actions (and I think we know we are going to spend a lot of time dealing with the fallout from these decisions).

In my messages with waitmyturtles and in lurkingshan's response on this post, we both latched onto how this carpe diem mentality and ephemerality of time and life relate to queer history. Queer people have historically faced difficult and shortened life spans due to HIV-AIDS, hate crimes, criminalization, and other threats to the community - life must be lived quickly and all at once, because it may not last long. Lack of marriage equality and other legislation also means queer relationships have not been offered the permanency and weight of heterosexual relationships. Queer people couldn't wish for a long-term, permanent happily ever after for a very long time (this makes me think about queer futurities - linking @chickenstrangers' post on this in Bad Buddy - and @waitmyturtles talking (here and here) about how queer automatically = pain and tragedy in media, especially earlier queer media). Therefore, to queer people throughout history and now, we see the "life fast die young," "we aren't going to live forever" mentality that permeates Only Friends.

On another note - I am interested in the idea of ephemerality and permanency as it relates to money and class in the show. Sand is not in a good place financially (he has to take on multiple jobs, live carefully within his means, etc.); he is unable to achieve the longevity and stability that comes with financial security. Ephemeral in another way. But we see also that money doesn't necessarily mean stability or permanency (or happiness) either - Ray has lots of money but is alone. His friends don't stick around, he pays for the temporary company of Sand, he spends his money on drink that makes him forget the night before - ephemerality yet again.

@waitmyturtles also brought up the idea of plum wine (which sweetens as it ages) and drew parallels to I Promised You the Moon, slowing down, lingering in relationships, etc. I couldn't help but notice that Sand's plum wine is carried in a bag that reads "You only live once" - the lasting and the ephemeral, the slow and the fast, the permanent and the temporary.

[monsamborabutterfly]

Okay as every week here are my thoughts on this week's of EP and oh boy do I have thoughts lol

1) atom you dirty little shit I hope karma fucking gets you good. Zero empathy for him. I get it realizing you are queer can be tough & so can be sleeping with someone for the first time but falsely accusing Boston like that is horrible.

Title I think you're a great actor but stop playing such fucking annoying people please and thank you🙏🙏

2) the fact that all his so called friends just went with it without even thinking about it shows me that they all fucking suck. I hope atom will tell the truth and they'll apologize to Boston for once.

3) sorry to all my topmew babes out there but my god do mew and boing have chemistry. I want book and mond in a show together so bad now.

ALSO TOPMEWBOING angry sex give it to me

4) boing is a shady little bitch but God I'm living for it!!

5) low-key hope we see sand and boing kiss!! I love my sandray but the "not me ghost shipping part" of me would be fucking delighted to see it ngl.

6) oh daddy dan...hun I love you but it's time for you to go babes

7) sandray angst hurt so bad but I believe in them. They will make it🤡🤞

8) NOW TO MY FAVOURITE PART OF THIS EPISODE:

Oh BostonNick. This is everything I wanted and so much more than I hoped for. And it was perfect in my opinion. From Nicks pic on Boston's phone to them talking to them making love. I like that it wasn't dragged out. I like that it was so very BostonNick. I cried. Multiple times lol I hope they are allowed to be together now and won't have to go through too much shit anymore. I can't wait for next week's BostonNick in love era

9) I'm glad they're showing ray going to rehab. I don't think we've ever seen something like this in any bl before. I love it!!

10) last but not least I wanna talk about neo and marks acting in the talking scene. I've already seen some shitty takes. And yeah maybe I'm biased but I think they're talented as fuck and some people seem to forget who Nick and Boston are. Mark didn't overact. Nick is just a highly emotional person. He feels things so deeply and he's so in love with Boston it makes fucking sense for him to full on sob cause everything breaks out of him. And Boston cried too but he's very emotionally repressed. He's terrified to show emotions. He's not the type to full on cry in public. I mean we got more emotions from him than I thought we'd get. It was very fitting and I'm sure it's exactly how Jojo and everyone else wanted the scene to be.

Okay done ranting now! Great episode as always!

[thatgirl4815]

I have mixed feelings about this…because Sand showing Ray the audio of Boston and Top is actually kind of good for Ray? Even though it could cause a massive blowup in the friend group, it would split up Top and Mew, which is exactly what Ray’s been wanting all along. In that way, it’s not good for Sand.

And while stealing the audio from Nick’s phone was certainly not right, I just don’t get the impression that Sand set out to show Ray the clip with the sole intention of making Ray lonely? Maybe I just have too high of expectations for Sand. But it makes more sense to me that Sand’s ultimate motive is ruining things for Top, given that scene between them at the hospital.

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Only Friends, Episode 6 - Happy F@#king birthday

In which we see Ray’s self-combust while leaving a trail of destruction, Sand showing his darker side, Ton continues to be an arsehole and Mew finally knows the truth

Sand

This episode more than anything depicts how complex human nature can be. Sand (who so far has been shown as someone with integrity) reached a breaking point. We know he is street smart, cares for his mom, and has basically fallen for Ray. We also know to some extent he cares for Nick. But the recent revelations of Ton/Top shenanigans, followed by Ton’s outing Ray on the latter’s feelings about Mew on his birthday plus Ray’s ambiguous comments about their relationship (not that I blame Ray or Sand specifically - the latter never made it clear he wanted more and the former is still hung up on Mew) have made Sand at edge. And then we have Sand deliciously tense confrontation with Top in hospital, where we sees while Top may have changed for Mew but remains arrogant to everyone else, and as per Sand “a prick.” With Top reminding Sand where he sits at the ladder (the bottom), it’s truly a sight to see Sand being calculative (but also in my personal opinion, it’s his way to make sure Ray/Nick being cut off from Ton (plus Top) because they are arseholes) - deliberately destroying his phone (when he doesn’t have lots of cash to begin with), manipulating Nick AND Ray to set off a catastrophic cascade of effects with the latter’s alcohol/substance abuse(s) playing a huge role on what truly was an explosive scene during Mew’s party.

Nevertheless, we sees his caring nature comes into play again. Sand was the only one out of everyone in the party to come after Ray, and despite Ray continuos lashing on Sand (the former trying to physically and emotionally pushing the latter away), he still chased after Ray, worried that the latter will hurt himself with his drunk driving.

Ray

My disaster muffin 😩😫….despite his many flaws, Ray at baseline is an honest person. We know he loves/cherish his friendship with Mew. And I truly believes he is starting to like Sand (also slowly growing to trust and loves him too. At the very least, Sand is the first person outside Mew who treats him more than an inconvenient and seems to truly care for him).

Yes, Ray is immature, but he only really acted whenever he perceived (or being manipulated) to think Mew is in danger. He kissed Mew impulsively when Ton suggested Top is only interested in playing around with Mew. And when he tries moving on, Ton again brought up his feelings for Mew. Even then, he didn’t act out (just giving death stares to Ton in class and during their hangouts), until Sand calculatively informed him of Top/Ton transgression. Again rather than telling Mew straight up, he confronted Ton first (unfortunately hot-headedly), which makes it easy for Ton to control the narratives by playing on Ray’s insecurities and emotions - accusing Ray of wanting Mew/Top to break up so that he can play a hero (which again I don’t think it’s true - I feel Mew has made it abundantly clear Ray will only be a cherished bestie and Ray accepted it - with sadness but he does!), but for Ton to keep putting salt on the wounds, it’s upsetting to see on Ray’s part.

I am not surprised with how Ray self-destruct during Mew’s party. He has suppressed his views and feelings for so long - Ton keeps making snide remarks, Cheum despite being kind and cheerful (as a default mode) has also always thought of him as a drunken fool, Top with his smug “I win” face, and even Mew whose automatic mode whenever he sees Ray is to mother him (thinking that he is either drunk or doing hard drugs, which although comes from a good place doesn’t really help Ray’s fragile self-esteem). And so, when you include Ray’s medicating himself with alcohol (and maybe drugs) into the equation - his inhibitions have gone out of the window. What he actually said during his drunken mess is NOT wrong (except his accusation on Sand being a gold digger - but even then, remember - their relationship started of as transactional and so, it’s easy for Ray to turn on default mode and lash out on Sand) - but the way he said it and timing of all it, well…we saw the trail of destructions he left in his wake.

His relationship with Sand took a setback this episode. Sand never made it clear what he wanted from Ray (from an outsider POV, it’s clear he wants more; even Sand’s wise mom could see it. But Sand is wary, probably a combo of his last broken relationship, destroyed by Top and Ray himself declaring multiple times they are “just friends”). Ray at least has told up front he thinks Sand as friends with benefits. The only point he has never told Sand (before the end of last episode) was his unrequited feelings for Mew. And it’s not something Ray needed to tell Sand. It’s personal and they are still at the stage of just getting to know each other. Anyway, I am in dire need for my sweet SandRay vibes back 😩😫 (and from next week preview, I’m hopefully going to get my wish)

(On the side note, Khaotung beautifully portrayed a broken, alcoholic mess. People with drug/alcohol addictions often hurt and lashed out on their family and friends. They also turn into the worst versions of themselves. So, while I’m still hurting from this episode, I am in awe with Khaotung’s acting 👌)

Boston

Ton continues to be unredeemable for me. He is unrepentant, selfish and unscrupulous. The way he manipulates Ray and Nick is masterful (definitely a politician son, and also the way his dad is proud of Ton’s many one night stands???, let just say I can see why Ton is the way he is!) - the way he spitefully jabbed on Ray when the latter confronts him regarding the whole Top/Ton situation to the way he playfully (and seductively) placates Nick when the latter attempts to firstly confronts his terrible behaviour in outing Ray/Mew in front of Sand (even then he blames the weed cookie rather than himself) and secondly when Nick found out Ton is likely going to move to New York after university.

He is also hypocritical. He doesn’t like being filmed without consent (fair enough, nobody should be filmed/photographed without consent). But for him to say it when he has been doing the exact same thing all this time…urgh, what an arsehole.

And to the end he remains consistent with his personality - not a hint of remorse when Ray drunkenly tried to expose him. Nor a shred of guilt when Nick tried to show solidarity with Ton by embracing him. Just Ton pushing Nick away (which tells you so much about who is in Ton’s mind - HIMSELF)

This is the one character I am hoping karma will come and hunt him!

(I despise him as a character but Neo as Ton is delicious to see. You can tell Neo has fun playing a despicable villain as a change from his usual roles. So, kudos to him and I hope we can see more of him in 2024, sinking into more meaty roles!)

Nick

Everytime I see him on screen, I winced. Ton has him in hook and reads him like a book. It doesn’t help Nick loves Ton and despite knowing Ton’s callous nature, Nick accepts this, making leeway to Ton’s behaviours. I want him to learn he is worth more than Ton because for now, he is moulding himself to make sure Ton never lose interest in him (and if that means ignoring all the red flags 🚩 that are waving madly in front of him, then so be it 😣). From what we see in the trailer, he breaks down in front of Sand with Sand reiterating what an arsehole Ton is (I assumed it may be related to Nick confirming Sand stole the video recording as we Nick clueing on it when he got back his phone). We see time after time, other people (Top, Ray and even Ton himself) also warning Nick about Ton. But love is truly blind, and I wonder what will be the breaking point for Nick - the one that will finally make him break free off Ton (maybe it’s Papang’s character?)

Top

In my opinion, he truly likes Mew (not sure about love yet, but they are getting there). He is trying hard to change - in his own word “a better version of himself.” The problem is, he is only a better version FOR Mew. I can see why Mew falls for him - he is sweet, attentive and basically the perfect gentleman/boyfriend that any person can ask for. However, as we can see, other than Mew - Top is just his usual self, arrogant and used to getting his own ways. He is dismissive towards Ray (and forever lording on the fact he won Mew, like Mew is a prize rather than an individual). Similarly, he belittles Sand (Top is never going to be a person who apologises except to Mew), again emphasising how he always gets what he wants, reminding Sand where he stands in the pecking order. He loathes Boston (fair enough) and in my opinion, he only tolerates Namchuen/April because the girls are not a threat to him (and his relationship with Mew).

He is also a coward. He kept silent about the Top/Ton situation, thinking it’s never gonna come to light (again he didn’t apologise about thinking Ray/Mew had a sexual relationship, which as far I am concerned even if they did it was 2 yrs ago). So, when Mew played him at the end, all I can say is - FINALLY (and even then he initially tried to say him sleeping with Ton was only before TopMew is a thing?? until Mew pressed him, exposing that he knew Top slept again more recently).

Mew

Which brings me to sweet Mew. I have always thought there is more to Mew than meets the eyes. Yes, he is inexperienced in some ways, but he is observant, well- adjusted and intelligent. Him being brought up by loving lesbian couple 🥳😘. And him knowing he doesn’t need to have a bf to feel fulfill cause he knows he can get love from his friends and moms. And so, for him, Top is someone he chose consciously as a partner.

I also love the analogy the screenwriters/directors took with the whole TopMew sensory deprivation dates we had so far (laser tag - touch, silent DJ - hearing, blind date - sight). I perceived it as Mew seeing Top in rose-tinted glasses (during their getting to know each other phase) until he finally got laser treatment this episode (such an irony it was Top who suggested it), and P’ Yo commenting it’s like Mew being reborn. So, Mew finally achieving clear vision and for him to learn about Top’s cheating - 👌. Also, kudos for Mew, playing the long game when he found out Top’s cheating by staying calm and collected at his own party, decking Ray (unfortunately, Ray needed it cause he was truly causing havoc with Ray not listening to any reasonings even when Mew attempts to do that first by trying to calm Ray down), to him seducing Top before dropping the bombshell (Book played this part masterfully and to see him tearing Force’s Top character into pieces - 👍)

I will say it again, I really like Mew and Ray’s genuine friendship. Yes, Mew cannot return Ray’s feelings (and I suspect Mew is trying to gently “wean” Ray off his dependency of Mew cause despite being a good/close friend he cannot be there for Ray 24 hours) but other than that, Mew has made more efforts (than the rest of the group) to be there for Ray. And so, I’m glad that Ray did tell Mew (as any bestie should!) about Top/Ton. I just wished Mew have communicated to Ray better about letting him handle Top (I suspect it’s one of the reason why Ray may have drunkenly try to expose Top cause Mew may have kept his silence, probably trying to process what he has heard from Ray but Ray may have perceived it as Mew not believing him).

April and Namchuen

I’m glad we are seeing more of them (finally!). Like any relationship they have their own problems and with Ray again exposing their private issues during his drunken tirade (urgh that was disastrous, but also yay! - it’s a catalyst for this couple to communicate effectively and sort out their issues).

However, it does seem Namchuen is truly clueless about what’s going on with her male besties. She knows superficially about Ray being perpetually drunk and Ton being a slut. But other than that, it seems the boys are shielding her from the rest of their issues. So, it will be interesting to see how their dynamic changes now that some of the secrets and lies are being exposed (I’m also genuinely worried they are ALL not gonna pass their hostel project 🫣)

Anyway, as usual, it was a roller coaster 🎢 ride of emotions by the end of the episode. The cast and their actings continue to impress me - but the stand out for this episode belongs to Ray, Mew and Sand 👌….so, is it Saturday yet? I need to see Top grovel on Mew’s feet, Mew duking it out with Ton and some SandRay sweet moments to compensate for what I just experienced with episode 6

17/09/2023

[plantsarepeopletoo]

Only Friends Music Ep4 (part 2/2)

Part one covers the first half of Ep4, or you can find other episodes on my pinned comment.

This is a series of posts taking a closer look at the music of Only Friends. Reminder, Playing with the music is like body language, it moves with the conversation. Verbal says something either through lyrics or something like a song title.

This is a long one, but if your curious about Sand and Ray, they're the first and two last songs. The middle ones are Top, Mew, and Nick.

[2/4 cont.]

Song: Almost The Same by Peter Crosby Scene: Ray and Sand in guitar store Type: Vocal

Lyrics heard in the show:

Stay in at home Turn off the phone I will listen to you You’ll lay in the sheets You’ll hold on to me Like I’m already gone

Lyrics continue, not in the show:

And whisper your words Like secrets written in an old mole skin And look up above Sunlight seems like it is gonna break in Something ain’t right Yeah, something ain’t right Oh, something ain’t right Something ain’t right You’ll straighten my shirt Wearing the skirt That my mother gave to you I come up behind ya And kiss on the side of your neck [a few or if you] Turn off the lights The stars in the sky are turning so clear And without the words Your feelings unheard can be just as sincere (Chorus) Walk in the leaves Under the trees With your tennis shoes on And holding my hand to spin you around And I sing you a song Taking a breath Like taking yourself to the hospital And I feel ok Almost the same But I know I’m not healed Something ain’t right

Before the song, Ray reaches out, trying to fix things. His first few tries are horrible failures, he doesn’t know how to behave with Sand. He’s used to people accepting his money or berating him, not expecting much from him. When Sand admits that it hurt to be thrown away, Ray finally realizes he needs to repeat to Sand that he does care, like he did in the parking lot earlier, “I do care about your feelings, that’s why I’m here.” Sand sees that Ray has been trying in his own way to make up for leaving the night before, and Ray is open and absorbs Sand's criticism, that Ray shouldn't drag him around and then throw him away as you see fit, people have feelings.

But they have not actually addressed the root problems, Mew and their own fears and baggage. The only way they’ll truly understand each other is to talk, which they have finally started to do. Sand went from denying feeling anything to admitting he was hurt. While Ray started to listen to what Sand was wanting from him.

They still know this relationship is not quite right though, and the song here reflects the underlying problems woven through their pretending to be okay. Song ends “You hold onto me like I’m already gone” and the scene changes to the record store.

Song: Acrobat by Martin Hall Scene: Sand and Ray looking through albums at the record store Type: Vocal

Lyrics heard in show:

There's nothing wrong with that Tripping, yeah, we all lose track I wouldn't mind it, if I find it There's nothing wrong with that Don't have to be an acrobat I wouldn't mind it, should I find it? All my life It's been up and down but always comes back to you Didn't ask for any favors It seems too late Love is strong but some things you don't wanna pass on Didn't ask for any favors You don't know me The way that I know you Tell me what you like Please tell me what you like There's nothing wrong with that

Lyrics not in Show:

Tripping, yeah, we all lose track I wouldn't mind it, if I find it There's nothing wrong with that Don't have to be an acrobat I wouldn't mind it, should I find it? Oh Father, please come to my rescue I was caught up in your landscape Oh, please tell me Now what am I supposed to do? I was caught up in your landscape … So that's how it's gonna be There'll be no more second chances So that's how it's gonna be There'll be no more second chances We let it all go to waste (we let it all go) x3

The lyrics included in the show seem to talk about how to find the right path, we don’t have to be pushing beyond ourselves and into impossible feats. An acrobat does amazing feats to get from one place to another, gracefully flipping through the air. Ray is so stuck in the past that he feels like there are these huge gaps that he needs to be an acrobat to get out of the “landscape” he’s stuck in. We see this in his acrobatic efforts to make Sand happy by offering to buy his time, or a guitar, or asking Sand to scold him. He’s trying to be an acrobat by worrying about all the bands he doesn’t know. Sand is telling Ray he doesn't need to do the impossible, he just needs to steadily move towards the right path, and he can learn one band at a time, if he wants. Sand is also stuck in his landscape, doing the impossible with his 24 hours to get enough money to pay his mom’s debt, his schooling, and saving for the future.

Music and lyrics start as Sand answers Ray’s question about what bands he likes to listen to, and continues to play under their conversation. Given Ray and Sands previous bonding over the music in Ray’s home, it’s quite possible Ray took him there for the purpose of finding mutual ground, and Ray’s face as he tries to get to know Sand through music, and discovers he doesn’t recognize the bands Sand lists, highlight the differences between them in so many aspects of their lives. Ray is there on that day as a part of Sand’s world, and even though he is very much out of his depth in nearly every place they go he is trying his best to connect with the parts of Sand’s world he doesn’t understand. They may have been stuck in places they did not choose for themselves, but they are beginning to make their way towards a shared path which may end up being better for both of them

There's nothing wrong with that Tripping, yeah, we all lose track I wouldn't mind it, if I find it There's nothing wrong with that Don't have to be an acrobat I wouldn't mind it, should I find it?

Ray wants to find his way in life again, and seems to be willing to grow and change for Sand. Again, he doesn’t need to be an acrobat, simply realizing he has more to offer than money is a good start.

You don't know me The way that I know you Tell me what you like Please tell me what you like

Sand says that Ray only listens to the songs that his parents listened to, that “Try to open your mind and listen to new bands”. Ray uses music to process his emotions, and Sand giving him new music to listen to might give him a new way of looking at the world.

Song: Gonna Get You by Camelian Glade Scene: Boston and Top in the elevator Type: Vocal, Playful

Song starts with Boston catching the elevator Top is on. It pauses for a while until Boston puts his hand on Top’s shoulder to push him into the wall. This song highlights Boston’s predatory and possessive nature. When Top pushes him off Boston is hurt and falls back to reminding Top that Ray and Mew are messing with his head. Top pushes back “You just can’t stand the fact that I don’t want you any more.” Which hits the nail on the head, just Top is seeing it too late. The damage is done. The only lyrics, “Gonna get you now” play when the doors open and Boston storms out.

Song: Told Ya by Ballpoint Scene: Nick goes through Boston’s phone Type: Background, Vocal

Song is used in a very similar to Gonna Get You. Only words being “told ya” and it has a sense of urgency. But also the styles being similar highlight Boston and Nick’s motivations here. They’re both doing things out of obsession, hurt, and possessiveness. They’re both trying to get what they want, and playing a spy game. Boston using misinformation and sex, Nick using information and sex.

[3/4]

Song: He Closes In Nylonia Scene: Top and Sand fight Type: Playful Drums start when Top turns and sees Sand. At first Top is concerned but when he sees Sand he changes completely. Pauses for a moment, but comes back quieter as Top starts to blame Sand for the accident. It slowly builds throughout the verbal fight until we finally get to the punches. Once Nick stops the fight it repeats a note and a drum beat and finally stops as Top gets into the car to drive away.

Song: He closes in (again) Scene: End of nick and Sand scene Type: Playful After Sand says “Top stole my Ex.” the ‘war drums’ from He Closes In start, the same song that played during Top and Sand’s fight.

Song: What You Can't Take Back by Clarence Reed Scene: Ray apologizes to Mew for the kiss Type: vocal Mostly just want to point out the song title. Ray apologizes for kissing Mew, saying it was wrong to do to Mew or anyone else. That he should have asked permission first. Ends after Mew tells him to forget it.

Song: In the Danger Zone by Marten Moses Scene: Mew and Top talk Ray liking Mew Type: vocal Same song that played in the flashback when Mew was looking for Ray in his house. Starts with Top being angry and upset while getting his wound treated by Mew. Pauses when Mew tells Top about the kiss, restarting after Top says “Just a kiss? Nothing else happened?” It stops when Top relents and apologizes.

[4/4]

Song: You Don’t Know by Psüche Scene: Top and Mew make out Type: Vocal

Lyrics in show:

Anyway you want me (x3) Anyway you want me - is good enough for me…(x2) You don't even have to love me - I'm a hypocrite… Lyrics not in show: And the sun shines down upon your face - it's all for you But you don't know Come and let me lose you - can't stop me, no… I never meant to choose you - a secret glow… And the sun shines down upon your face - it's all for you And I would travel to the end of space - to be with you But you don't know But you don't know But you don't know But you don't know

“You don’t even have to love me” plays for the first time as Mew slips his hand into Top’s pants. The song seems to highlight the depth of both characters' feelings, while also emphasizing the lack of trust and truth between them. They’re both moving forward based on Mew’s checklist because of mutual attraction. They want to be together but lack of communication has left them working off false versions of each other. They still WANT each other a lot but…the falseness that permeates through their relationship is reflected in these lyrics

Song: With You It's Different by Blue Topaz  Scene: Top and Mew in the shower, it’s different with Mew Type: Vocal

Soft guitar under Top asking Mew if it was ok, and Top saying “I can’t remember the last time I cared about the feelings of someone I slept with” Ends after Mew asks for clarification. 

Song: Wrote You a Letter (feat. Cody Francis) Candelion Scene: Ray thinks about getting the keychain from Mew Type: Vocal

Lyrics in show:

In a way that's how it's supposed to be If I'm unable to make you happy Then it's for the better That you are not with me Hmm hmm That's why I Wrote you a letter Cuz you see I write so much better than I speak It's hard to get over You chose someone else Your new best friend It doesn't feel like it was long ago..

Full lyrics:

Hey I heard you got a new best friend Yea It's a bit I won't pretend that it doesn't matter That you're with someone else Hmm In a way that's how it's supposed to be If I'm unable to make you happy Then it's for the better That you are not with me Hmm hmm That's why I Wrote you a letter Cuz you see I write so much better than I speak And I need to tell you You were My best friend Till the end I hope I'll be happy without you But right now I don't know what to do It's hard to get over You chose someone else Your new best friend It doesn't feel like it was long ago We were head over heels in love, thought it'll last forever But somehow we got lost Looking back I didn't realize What was wrong with me I can't deny I took you for granted You finally had enough Hmm hmm (Chorus x2)

Music starts as Ray is in the bath, sad and drinking, but it’s a cleansing bath. He’s staring at the keychain Mew bought for him and after a few moments the scene shifts to a flashback. Mew gives Ray a keychain and explains that he bought it to remind Ray of his name. Ray shouldn’t be sad, he’s a Ray of sunshine! Mew’s advice is always how Mew wants things to be and not based on what actually is needed. Calling back to the pool party in EP3 and the song We Will Never Die. Mew’s advice was accompanied by the lyric “On an island in the shade, the city is on fire”. Mew is on an island in the shade and Ray is in a city on fire. Mental illness isn’t something easily fixed, and Ray continues to self medicate and yearn for connection after receiving the keychain from Mew. The lyrics start after Mew says “You shouldn’t be sad, friend” Ray asks Mew “Don’t you think I’m too hot for people to handle?” Mew brushes this off with “Lots of people like hotness”. It might have been said in a place of love, but it isn’t what Ray needed. Despite this, Ray's love for Mew has been his lifeline for the last two years, a person who will come to him in great need, but will hold him at arm's length any other time. In the present, Ray reflects “Mew is my emergency contact, and I always thought I was his too. But right now, I don’t think I’m that important to him anymore.” and then the lyrics “It’s hard to get over, You chose someone else, your new best friend.” play as the camera pans to the Poor Boy shirt. Ray might finally accept that he’s not Mew’s choice, but Mew might be happy with someone else. And Ray wants to be that special person to someone, so he needs to actively let go of Mew. He was slowly letting go before, realizing how good it felt to have someone to be there, to talk to, and how different it feels from Mew’s love. Mew is still obviously important to him, but Mew doesn’t want Ray to be his savior, just a typical friend.

Song: Our เรา by Selina and Sirinya Scene: Continuing the record store date, Sand and Ray are listening to a record. Type: Vocal

Lyrics in show:

If this place was the only place that has starlight If this place was the only place that has moonshine If this place was the only place that has the sky and the blue sea And there is no one nearby If this place was the only place that has you If this place was the only place that has a cool breeze If this place was the only place that trees and a clear stream Lyrics continued not in the show: And there is nothing nearby. There is only us and a cool breeze (x4)

So far, Our is one of the few songs (so far) that is translated on screen, and they even pause the music as they take off their headphones. In the pause Ray says “The song makes me wanna fly to Chiang Mai and sip beer right now.” Sand responds “And set up a tent?” Ray responds “I like, na” leaving it open ended what he’s talking about. Be it the imagery, the song, or Sand.

The song is about an empty place with your significant other, a place where the stars and moon shine and the breeze is cool. Some place where only we exist without any outside stress or worries. It’s a place that is cooling and healing, which is what Ray needs. Ray can be hot there, and the cool breezes will heal him.

In Sand and Ray’s imaginary trip to Chiang Mai with this song, it gives Ray a direct comparison with the trip 2 years ago with Mew. That time he was told “Lots of people like hotness” while he was a burning city, however, this time he has a cool breeze and someone to hold hands with, someplace that is only theirs.

The song ends before they finally go beyond the “what if” stage, before there is only us. Leaving them with meaningful glances, ambiguous words and holding hands. It’s not quite right, they have not quite made the final step, but they have started to move from their cycle.

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Thank you @rocketturtle4 and @shouldiusemyname for editing and helping me, especially with acrobat.

Here's a link to my pinned comment to see other episodes. Thank you for reading

[sunshinechay]

So…I think Boston might actually have some kind of romantic feelings for Nick. Hear me out.

Like don’t get it twisted, I’m not hoping not expecting that Boston will become the goodest, most morally perfect person who only want to be with Nick and never does anything wrong ever, but I think he might be catching feelings.

He clearly already liked Nick, I mean he was willing to sleep with him more than once which I absolutely think wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t like him, but the fact that he is willing to spent so much time with Nick as their relationship continues.

I keep thinking back to the pool scene and how when Mew and Top come, Boston shares an extremely loaded look with Too, but Boston move on from it rather quickly, because he has Nick to make him forget. And also how he immediately turns to Nick to get his mind off of his phone call with Mew about him. He gets derailed by Sand and Ray and ends up taking out his frustration on them instead of sex with Nick but yeah, if they hadn’t been there, his way of coping would have been to turn to Nick.

Don’t get me twisted, there is still absolutely a health dose of using Nick because he knows Nick has feelings for him and would do anything for him. I don’t think though that Boston is immune to the development of romantic feelings off people, Top proves that if nothing else.

Boston is still manipulative and self centered and would still sell Nick to Satan for one corn chip but it’s starting to look more and more likely that he actually has feelings for him too.

It’s not going to go well for him and I think he’s only going to be truly willing to admit it when it’s already too late and Nick had gone single white female on his ass but I still think he’s gonna happen.

I’m still on fence about whether or not I want BostonNick to be endgame because on the one hand, absolutely not neither of you should be within ten feet of this toxic mess of a situationship you have. On the other hand, can you imagine these two in an actual committed relationship? It be worth it just to see the mess they’d make for themselves and everyone around them.