#for the money thing and it’s gonna be an issue for them
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i like that only friends is so predictable honestly lmaoooo but that made ep 4 all the more jarring when it just pulled out the most high stakes plot (imo) so far apropos of nothing
#after watching the first two or three eps I was ranting to my friend like I KNOW ray has daddy issues and I KNOW sand is gonna call him out#for the money thing and it’s gonna be an issue for them#the other couples though whahat the fuck is going on over there. i think nick has the capabilities to go a little evil though#ever since the setup with him knowing so much about surveillance technology in the shop I was like. eyebrow raised. also he has 0 issues-#-with snooping on someone’s phone- someone he claims to care about#BUT THE DRUG DEALER SUBPLOT IS TRASH ACTUALLY maybe I’m just blind and didn’t notice foreshadowing but it SUCKS#manipulating people into sex left and right#I was low key optimistic about rays portrayal as a (mostly) functional alcoholic with friends who care about him#but like wtf is this 😀 ‘will you stop using if I have sex with you’ bs like mew your bff has been an addict for years you’d think he’d…#mew needs to go to Al anon 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#m
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This is a genuine innocent ask
Since ofmd is officially over, where does all the money donated go? This is not just a question for the fandom bit in general when ur raising money for a renewal but it fails.
so i mean, in general when a renewal campaign "fails" we dont usually get the showrunner saying outright "yeah the show isnt getting picked up, im sorry guys." like im pretty sure that most of the time, money that's raised for a campaign like this just gets collected and spent without there ever being an official announcement from the showrunners that fans should stop campaigning.
as far as the money that was raised for the first billboard back in january, all the money that was collected is long gone now bc it was spent on the billboard, the truck, the plane flyover, and the charity donations. and like, everyone who donated to that campaign knew that's where the money was going, and they knew there was a chance that the renewal campaign wouldn't work. so even tho the money they raised is gone, the ppl who donated technically got what they paid for.
when it comes to the second billboard, i have no idea what the plan is there. as far as im aware that fundraising effort is (was??) still ongoing, so djenks saying it's over kinda throws a wrench in that process. im not actually associated w the ppl collecting money for the second billboard, nor have i personally contributed to that campaign (or to the first campaign either, ftr), so i have no input or insight as to what's gonna happen w that money going forward. if u want more concrete info abt what's going on with that money you'd wanna ask @saveofmdcrewmates
from what i can tell tho, there are a few options as to what they could do with the money: they could ignore david's message and run the billboard as planned, they could forget the billboard and donate the money to charity, or they could run the billboard but change the messaging to something else. they might even be able to give some of the money back to the people who contributed?? that might be hard tho, idk what platform they were using to collect the money and i have no idea if they're even able to like, refund people. idk if the people who donated would even want their money back, or if they would rather the money still be used for the billboard, or be repurposed for something else. like i said, i didnt donate and i have nothing to do with the ppl raising the money so it rlly doesn't matter to me at all what happens.
#ofmd#our flag means death#save ofmd#ask#anon#mine#txt#og#s3 renewal hell#for the record also. when it comes to ppl criticizing the fans who DID choose to donate their money to the renewal efforts...#i think if u want to laugh abt how it's a waste of money that's fair. god knows i do the same thing#like im always gonna roll my eyes over ppl spending hundreds to thousands of dollars on like. funko pops. or sports betting.#or gambling in general. or tickets to see an artist that i think sucks. or expensive and ugly sports cars. or golf equipment.#or high-end fashion that's incredibly boring. or home decor that's as bland and impersonal as possible.#but that's bc these things do not appeal to me and seem like a waste of money bc i dont care abt them#im not gonna sit here and get mad abt how these ppl are spending money on shit i think is stupid so that makes them Bad People#like frankly it's fucking stupid to try and take the moral high ground over ppl having interests that they spend money on#laugh abt how u think ppl's taste sucks but if u try and make it some sort of moral issue then you're getting in too deep#i know it probably makes u feel superior to act like ppl spending their money on stupid shit are Bad People#but from the bottom of my heart: grow up#stop being so catholic abt everything jfc
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#I just got hired for a tour in the fall and like#holy fuck it’s a HUGE tour#it’s 6 weeks long and my offer is like#literally#it’ll be almost $20k#for SIX weeks of work#holy FUCK#and so I took it oBVIOUSLY#but like#idk bro I’m on a shitty easy tour with my bfs band rn and#I’m just so over it#I wanna be at home working on my store#and I’m SO frustrated that I’m not home and the only thing I like is driving and staring out the window and doing nothing#like I just don’t want this life anymore#and so I told myself that like#I’m not seeking them out I’ll let them come to me and if it’s a crazy offer or a and I like I’ll take it#*or a band I like#(enter this)#and I’m OBVIOUSLY going to do it for the money but#I think my personality has just changed a lot in the last year and a half#and I don’t have much in common with people who tour anymore#this band in particular#so I’m just freaking out over the prospect of basically spending g 6 weeks in isolation#away from the job I’ve carved out for myself which I actually like#unable to get a job bartending which if I have to have supplementary income is what I’d rather have it be#bc I’m just gonna leave for this tour#and I UGHHHHH#like I could practically put a down payment on a fucking house with what I’m getting paid for this tour it’s not an option#but I’m just SO preemptively 😵💫 about having to go do this it’s like 5 months away and I feel like I am having anger issues#UGH
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IF YOURE SANSA MANDERLY STARK
And you realize, after your uncle Edric dies, that your husband Jonnel is going to name not Edric’s son Cregard his new heir, but his other brother Barthogan as his heir. He is doing this specifically because “Cregan died after Rickon, so since Rickon wasn’t a Lord, it passes to Cregan’s next born son. Since Edric wasn’t a lord, it passes to Barthogan.” You are very mad because you and your sister Serena have been raising Cregard to rule and now you’re worried about her daughters, and her sons, and what becomes of you if Jonnel also dies, and you’re still mad you were passed over, so you decide “yeah fuck it i’m not just going to set myself up well, i’m going to make sure i have the ability to take the lordship, make myself ruling lady, and make things easier for a woman to inherit because now i’m pissed off”
What do you like. Do. Marrying all of Serena’s kids well is important but what would “marry well” mean. Someone rich and southron who comes with money & a household that is loyal to the two of you? Someone Northern, who will back your claim because they have a vested interest in you ruling? A mix of both?
You have to get the King on your side right. Have an in with him so if someone complains he’s like “well a daughter before an uncle blah blah blah.” You want LYANNA and HER husband on your side, and you want all of ALY BLACKWOOD’S daughters and THEIR HUSBANDS on your side because if your ultimate goal is ABSOLUTE PRIMOGENITURE you want the older sisters on your side right. You want the people of Winters Town to like you more than Barthogan and Jonnel. You want to do good things for them, so you want money (again - good marriages for Serena’s children). You want to be more competent or at least seem more competent. You probably want like….what Barthogan and Brandon like Not In Winterfell with you…….
#like you need Some Fighting Dudes and Some Money. that’s the most important.#i can’t wait to get she wolves of winterfell and have canon serena be nothing like the one in my mind akskskdk#getting on my soap box#this is why i want a book about nymeria and mors. Fuck the targaryens i want a short story about how Nymeria & Mors set things up#so their oldest daughter could inherit. was there a conflict? that she just like. won?#after this i’m gonna write a whole family tree for nymeria & mors aksksjdjdj#i’m also thinking about like. well the north could have it post canon bc there’s just no men.#they’re all dead. whomst is gonna stop them. and that’s different akskdkd#and obviously the iron islands are gonna lighten up under asha.#who knows WHATS cookin in the rest of westeros tho.#i mean IN CANON jeyne arryn faces a few usurpations so IF sansa & serena take it from barthogan.#they are probably gonna face some issues from him and brandon for a MINUTE right
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first time people tell a content creator GIVE US MORE ADS
#i dont think they are greedy corporate monsters. i think they are creators trying to run a business with no knowledge on how to do that#icarus flying too close to the sun and all that#is just so clear they didn't make any kind of market research#a youtube poll would have helped them#is just a shitty thing because they clearly just want to have more creative freedom and do bigger things#but if you are running a business then you also need to think about your audience. which i don't think they did#and the international issue with dollars in this economy#+ the need to use a vpn in order to watch in certain countries apparently#+ an audience of mostly 20 somethings and younger people who have other priorities#and like nearly every single person that i've seen that actually likes this idea. has also said that are not paying#because they can't afford it. so even if people were on board with this. is just not viable with their audience#like sorry. but 'streaming service' is not plan b on the list of things to if you dont wanna rely so much on ads#and them doing a 14min long video that is edited like a shitty corporate apology video#in which you say 'if you can't give us money. bye ig' while promoting#a show about people traveling to dif places and paying expensive meals#while also saying you have no money to pay your 25!!! employees#not to mention not clarifying anything and leaving everything in vague terms#like international issues. whether you are deleting your previous youtube content or not (they don't say anything about this on the vid....#.... Variety said they were gonna do it. but then they did the pinned comment so it feels like they are backtracking...#...even if they were never gonna delete it)#what newer content you want to make. the pros you get subscribing#broken record with this. but watch the og dropout ad. its clear. adresses concerns. tells you what shows would be available#and the one moment that they use sad piano music is used with irony#ok. no further comments until they say something lol#watcher#my post
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#my mom hasnt decided about driving to Toronto#i told her i need an answer#ideally now. but i feel bad bugging her#she thinks i should wait and see if prices go down#and she thinks i shouldn't spend so much money on a concert ticket#and i agree. i dont want to. i think its insane that they resell them for so much.#but its my money. and i get to decide what this concert is worth#i was telling her the prices are going up and i dont want them to turn impossible.#and she kept asking how much are they how much are they how much are they#i didn't wanna tell her bc i knew shed judge me but i did. and she did#i almost feel like she thinks she'll be doing me a favor by not helping me get there bc i wont spend the money#but she really really wouldnt be#i was hoping i could buy one for tomorrow and just go by myself and not make it her issue#but theyre more than im willing to pay for crappy seats#and she said i dont want you to go at any cost and like!!!! im not!!!!!#i hate myself for stooping low enough to accept resale prices but im not spending all of my money#and i have standards for prices for where the seats are#i made the decision to sell my vienna ticket before the shows were canceled bc i knew it was thr responsibile thing to do!!!!!#i will not drive 12 hours to toronto by myself!!!!!!#im doing it at more cost than i would like but not any cost. and id also like to not be judged for it#and also. its so important to me. and if i explain how important it is. id probably get judged for that too#idk man. she said she's gonna look some now at Toronto traveling expenses#she didn't say she would have an answer by tonight#you would think if she doesn't want me to spend a crazy amount of money she would have some urgency about answering me#ig she just doesnt wanna tell me no.#idk. idk. idk. maybe i will figure out some way to go to Toronto by myself if she says no#maybe ill buy an even more ridiculously priced ticket for tomorrow#idk. ahahhahahajahahahahah
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haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞
#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can#barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty#I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such#bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry#he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭#sanchoyorambles#I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN#GIRL MY PUBBY#if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now#he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑#which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL#screaming.#and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects#im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault#I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away#they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!!#they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭#remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧#my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby#it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know
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I’m really upset by the upcoming functionality loss as apparently tumblr is getting rid of the desktop post editor and switching to the crappy mobile one. But I’ve seen NO posts about this? Am I the only one? They’re basically killing gifsets (don’t work properly on the new editor) and fucking over artists with crappier image quality and I’ve just seen… silence? The archive will be worse as post types won’t exist anymore? No copying multiple paragraphs? A hint that old posts soon won’t be editable? I have over a decade of posts here and I do NOT want to lose access to them. Like I’m fucking panicking cause this WILL really hurt fandom, the group tumblr has been most trying to cater to. Like I think between this and other social media sites going down the tubes, I feel like fandom as a whole will not exist in a few years at this rate. I’m not trying to spread panic, I genuinely feel this way unless some other site comes along or staff gets their heads out of their assess
So poll (which ironically don’t work in the desktop editor although it’d be literally so easy to implement)
#like am I wrong for thinking that between this#and twitter’s problems#and how discords with enough people to be regularly active become toxic#plus the inherent issue with discord being gated communities#plus every other site either being dangerous due to under preparedness or just straight predatory so there are no other choices#like is fandom even gonna exist in 5 years?#I feel like I’m watching it die in real time#and here I was feeling kinda bad for tumblr and thinking about giving them money but FUCK THAY#I hope this site dies fuck the new owners fuck everyone for destroying the last decent place on the internet#fandom IS my social life and my stress relief and I don’t think it will be a thing soon at this rate#and I really just. cannot fucking handle that right now#so tell me if I’m wrong and if you agree with me PLEASE fucking complain to tumblr so they realize what a mistake this is#text#misc#polls#shut up nerd#new layout stuff
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A thing I pre-ordered months ago has shipped!
What's the thing?
Keepsake Quilting, and several other quilt companies/stores, put a sort of gift box together with fabric, notions, patterns, and gift cards in them. You don't know what you're getting, making it a surprise. I have never purchased one because they're expensive. This was 50% upfront, 50% when shipped, for a total of $150. Considering how much is in it, and what reviews were left the last several years, it's a steal. Plus, I wanna treat myself after having such a stressful and unpleasant year.
My mom and one of aunts have ordered such boxes in the past, but according to my mom, they're disappointing because she has so many of the things in the package, or no use for many of them. Rulers (some of which cost $30), needles, rotary cutters and extra blades (blades can be $10/each, new cutters up to $50), fabric marking tools (chalk pencils, disappearing ink, etc), precut fabric collections (jelly rolls can be $80, fat quarter collections up to $100 depending on number of FQs), and yardage ($12.99-$21.99/yard). She's been disappointed by "ugly" fabric too many times.
I, on the other hand, have significantly fewer tools. I make things for people to buy, and some folks love fabric I cannot stand (like x-mas and patriotic prints). There have been fabrics I consider well and truly hideous, and those I list in my shop or sell to people here. One person's trash is another's treasure, right? I've met people who think pastels are ugliest things to have ever existed. I think baby pink and green military camouflage look fantastic together, as well as turquoise and light hemp brown or terracotta and peacock blue. My mom finds them hideous. I think pink and any shade of brown look terrible together, or red and khaki (likely from working at Target and seeing is everywhere). Again, personal taste.
If any of you ever fancy treating me to one of these random collections of fabric and/or notions, feel free to do so. They're the sort of surprise I enjoy (that and people purchasing my work, especially from my shop). Sure, there are things that may he of no use to me, but others can use them. Nothing goes to waste.
This package will be arriving on November 18th, and has me giggling with excitement!
#words from the artist#my year has been filled with my husband nearly dying and us having thousands of dollars in medical bills to pay AFTER#the financial aid program forgave three of the six bills. we have around $5k of thag left to pay off#and one of the bills has gone to collections#plus my ear issues that cleared up after over six months of torment. my husband had to quit his previous job because working in#kitchens was slowly killing him and is now working fulltime in theory but not getting enough hours#i've sold virtually nothing and have had to beg for aid because not enough money due to lack of hours and lack of sales#my asthma throwing a fit and my sewing room being entirely too hot to work in and remaining that way for weeks at a time#then my left wrist being injured and leaving me unable to do virtually anything.#my husband then being taken to court by Unemployment three years after receiving the money. oh and being denied Unemployment#this year so for 10 weeks were on thoughts and prayers while he hunted for a non-kitchen job#plus his major surgery over the summer that was 100% covered by financial aid because we opted for a different hospital#there have been good things like he has insurance now and i'm abke to walk without feeling like i'm walking on glass#plus a few commissions over the summer. but those have been among the very few good things. oh and he won his court case#i would just like to have the rest of the year be filled with good things like all or most of my listed quilts selling. someone#commissioning me to finish the quilts i have listed as available to handquilting. the tops are finished but if i finish the quilts#completely they're gonna take up sooooo much space. even folded and rolled up. i store them in plastic bins to protect them but the#bins take up a lot of space. people praise my work and tell me hoe much they wanna buy it or will buy the things as soon as i list them...#and then no one buys them and the things just hang in my closet or rest in a bin. it's extremely disheartening to be repeatedly#disappointed. it has made me cry and question if it's worth making anything at all.
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i havent wanted to comment on the sandsurge drama bc i think it's insane but like. anyone who says that staff "isn't very communicative" has never played another petsite in their life. Turn back time spend 3 years on neopets and then we'll talk about communication bro..
like there is literally an entire Dev Status Sidebar that shows you what they're saying about whats going on that they update pretty regularly and they do dev updates + stay in contact with their playerbase and closely watch their reactions to updates to see where they messed up and what can be improved on. Like what on planet earth are you talking about. genuinely
the only agreement i will give to communication issue is that the wording on aeq's post regarding the fact that it would be a gem breed took me 7 tries and i still dont get it bc it reads to me as "2nd breed will be treasure, 3rd will be gems"?? which is obv not true. I genuinely can't see what ppl mean by this being a confirmation. but thats not a communication issue it is a Confusing Wording issue. don't complain about communication unless you've played literally any other petsite bc i guarantee you this level of transparency and care you will find in very few other places.
#and before anyone thinks im sucking up to staff. i dont like staff. i will never let myself have anything more than#respect for people i dont know on a day to day basis. they run a company. not my friends. esp not after how the eye genes were treated#fr#flight rising#chimechatter#this is the only thing ill be saying on this or reblogging btw i just got irritated<3#my only opinions on every other issue ppl have is 1. i think modern gem breeds should be 1200 and ancients should be 600g#i cant put apparel on them why thr hell am i paying yhat much. i have to pay 1kg and then a shitton for a skin if i want one and then pay fo#r gem genes too can you get real with me. but its fine i can grind bc if im not gonna pay up im gonna god damn do it right#its literally fine. and 2. was initially disappointed we didnt get at least an egg bc i love getting eggs but w/e ill jus grind. 2 weeks of#g&g gets u a breed change scroll lmao its whatecer#they gotta make money. it is what it is. i use adblocker because the changing ads are distracting n give me a headache#so i better either put my money where my mouth is or grind it out yk. Whateval#such a nothing burger drama honestly
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And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"
I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse
And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa
And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house
I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished
...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)
And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff
There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government
No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)
Like have some accountability there and in every situation
Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free
If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off
I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)
But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced
Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around
I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)
...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change
(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)
(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)
#anyway; if I'm a lousy cheat or whatever least they can do is give me a gun so I can solve that problem#shit makes me wish I was canadian so I could take advantage of their sick implementation of assisted suicide#what should be a system that gives people a choice about the quality of their life; and I don't think should be relegated to terminal illne#...there was... think he was dutch; had been burned by his girlfriend all over his body; was in constant pain#and he ended up using assisted suicide in the end cause he was just in constant agony... think that's his choice to make#but of course the canadian system concretely pushes people; mostly the poor and disabled; to kill themselves#not theoretically; as in literally says word for word to them 'you should really kill yourself; just sign here'#it's sick; it truly is#but for any americans that want to dunk on it; I'm telling you we're no better#we have the exact same miserable desperation and people (again; mostly poor and disabled) into despair#only difference is we don't offer assisted suicide#the underlying issues in the US and canada are so damn similar; so much of what's happening ends up being the same#you can't act smug just cause you only make people want to die instead of also offering to help#that's like saying that you're the good guy cause while you did everything you could to drive someone to the brink#get them fired; slash their tires; just cartoon level villain stuff to personally harass this person... at least you won't hand them rope#we have such similar systemic issues to canada; and I am explicitly telling you that like the people in canada that have said#'I can't take it anymore; disability doesn't cover my expenses and I can't get any help... I'm at my wits end so I'm gonna go die'#I'm telling you that I feel that same way; just without any eugenics agency I can call up#I'm really working to get things stable; but it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of falling into permanent failure#and... and I'll actually tell you the amount even though I don't like to mention money... makes me feel guilty#my gramps left me $27k; which sounds like a lot; but I got 20 windows that need redoing (house has a lot of windows)#...if they ended up being 1k each; that's most of the money gone; if they end up being more...#and I got a whole lotta other stuff I've been putting off like plumbing around here; need to replace that faucet#it's an amount of money that helps; but it's an amount of money that isn't gonna last#...that's like a year of bills; and my mom already needs me to pay like $400 to the propane bill since she got behind#I want to use it to... to try and really get my feet on the ground; but it might loose me my insurance... it makes me want to die#and not to be a selfish bastard; but if I could I'd like to try and take and invest a bit to maybe build some passive income#given that... that a job never seems to work out for me cause I fucking suck and cause like... my insomnia has me up at 5:30 am right now#mm tag so i can find things later
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#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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anyway food has been procured and the fridge is now full
#and my brain is still screaming that i could have made it another week with the things i had left#and that i now have too many food things and they're gonna go bad before i get around to using them all#which is probably part of the real crux of the issue#although i've gotten rid of that immediate jolt of anxiety upon seeing moldy food#mostly because the matcha powder gets everywhere and seeing the green powder in random spots and then thinking it was mold before realizing#it was just the matcha has really desensitized me to it#that and just being like oh this has mold throw it out and i can buy more#or even just hey i don't know how long this thing has been here and the anxiety brainworms are fearful of mold so we're just gonna toss it#because i am an adult who has the authority to decide that (and money to buy more)
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Apparently I timed my quitting perfectly
#work tag#the new manager is absolutely awful and since hes taken over nothings been done properly#the managers that are left are sick of everything they barely do anything on shift the slackers are worse than ever#the newbies dont take anything seriously or have any common sense whatsoever so its just completely downhill#we had an EHO visit last week on the boss' close had lost a star on our rating as a result so the area manager came in a couple days later#he bollocked our boss for the way hes been acting but then he went right back to being a prick#so apparently after i left last night the district manager visited and they had to shut the store early for cleaning#but this was after my manager told me that the boss has been blaming everyone for the state of things but#when they offered to close the store and do a deep clean he refused because of money#the district manager was not happy he pulled both managers aside and now theyre gonna have to close the store for a deep clean#but they might also have to shut down temporarily to get everything sorted but the thing is since this new guy took over only about#half of the closing cleaning tasks have been being done because close is usually made up of the slackers and they just dont wanna do#anything properly its been an ongoing issue for months now and now its catching up with them cus theyve got in the habit of not doing it#one of my managers has kept saying he doesnt think the store will last until Christmas but everyone else is sure were gonna be shut#well before that point like its gotten the bad its part of why i quit#anyway i just got the rundown from my coworker who was on close when this all went down last night
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The idea of 'The Sovereign' and this storyline in Wonder Woman by Tom King reminds me of Hydra Captain America and the Secret Empire by Nick Spencer.
#wonder woman#i didn't want to discuss this but the sovereign really makes me angry in just how lazy he is as a character#and this whole idea of a 'secret king' running America#reeks the same as 'what if Captain America was a Hydra agent all along'#not only does the conspiracy that's been created upend a lot of what's already been established in WW lore#but this is also just a lazy kind of character creation that just takes everything Diana is and makes it opposite#the Sovereign or is he a Bizarro Wonder Woman?#like Superman and Lex aren't wholly opposites their goals are the same it's their motivation that's different#Lex 'helps' because he wants to look good and get praise and money he does good for selfish reasons#meanwhile Superman does good because it's the right thing to do#the sovereign looks and feels shallow#it's trying hard to be edgy but it's cringe i mean 'lasso of lies'?#it feels like it's gonna be revealed that there wasn't ever going to be a history where the sovereign and his ilk ruled America#but someone gave this man the lasso of lies and he created his new reality off the old one LIKE when Cap was rewritten to be Hydra#and we know he gets locked up so what is the actual stakes in this story we know he gets defeated#so what makes this story important?#like wonder woman earth one did this whole arc better and the main villain being max lord aka ares made more sense#the first 6 or so issues should have been on working towards unraveling amazonian influence and power in America because a group of men#see them as a threat to American superiority if this is the direction you want to go in#snapping your fingers and fastfowarding for a first issue is not the in media res you think it is#im ranting but ww has been one of mh fav series the past few years and now#for the first time in a long time#i have to not read it because this whole storyline sucks#dc comics#i can't wait for whoever comes next to undo what's happening now because if there's one consistent thing about WW is she will be reinvented
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maybe that's just me being me but i think it's..... interesting, how much criticism/accusations/et al of the OTW recently is coming up so conveniently in that period between donation drive and election, argues so utterly in bad faith, and employs such a strong 'us vs them' rhetoric that is frankly baffling if it is actually coming from people who 1. have a basic understanding of the OTW's flat hierarchies and what that means for the workings of such a big org, and 2. have the orgs best interest and future in mind. none of this is to say that the OTW doesn't have its issues or room to improve, but you'd think that amidst the quick rise of fascism, purity culture, and their calls for censorship, people would take care not to present the bandwagon to those people on a silver platter, and also maybe........ bother 0.3 seconds to provide those annoying little shits called verifiable sources :))
#fandom wank#this isn't on one single thing either i've had SO much of this on my dash this last two weeks even THO my dash is VERY well curated and it'#like. yall. ik this is 'just' tumblr but come on now#sources!! they are a thing!!!! if you make accusations you gotta back it up!!#and frankly i care little when it's about fucking musk whether that one additional shit thing is true. eh. i'm not gonna reblog it either#without checking but whatever#but like.... the otw/ao3 are not made up of multi-million dollar assholes who we have to fight#it's. fellow fans#and yes it has its issues!! absolutely 100% this isn't to say it doesn't#but if i go to a blog and have to scroll three minutes till i find#'maybe this will finally get people to stop throwing money at them'#then. well you know. maybe it doesn't *actually* matter that they claimed not to be an anti#if it quacks like a duck etc etc
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