#and my most important question of all:
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yknow a moment from the comics i think about a lot is, when the fates slash morpheus' face, he bleeds and keeps the scar. the entire series, we see him face all kinds of adversaries, taking damage as much as he deals it, and never once does he bleed. there's no scars on his body, and we see all of it. he's smooth in a way that feels chosen, time and time again, until the idea of choice loses meaning. he's like that up until his final hours, and when he meets his end, it's with one, large, jagged scar on his jaw.
when matthew asks him why he kept the scar, he says that alianora had promised before she left that one day, they would bear matching scars. he could've healed it with a thought, but he didn't, because he remembered that promise. but why did he adhere to it?
did he realize he had wronged her, and wished to, in some way, repent? did he want to face death with a badge of that repentence? was it an admission of guilt or a cosmic balancing of scales? was he simply fulfilling some obligation to narrative symmetry?
he admits, once prompted, to having wronged alianora when talking with desire disguised as himself. when did he realize he was wrong? as soon as she left? when calliope left, too? was it related to pulling nada back out of hell? did it take seeing her, one final time as her dreamworld collapsed? what prompted this realization, and would he have admitted that to anyone, let alone desire? is facing his sister and his most trusted advisors and the cosmic entity witness to all his crimes that admission, or is it something else entirely? what does it mean that he shows off the most corporeal, emotional, fragile, and mortal part of himself as he dies? how is any meaning added to or taken away from because he takes on the wound whilst protecting his people?
it's just a lot, and there's no answer to any of this because its one of the last things morpheus does. my personal interpretation is that he sees the scar as a way of showing that he has changed, and understands he can never change enough, and that's why he needs to die. its equal parts admission and final grasp at control of his own narrative, saying "I must die, but I will die fittingly and with honor." and you don't have to subscribe to this interpretation! if you have a different one, by all means, share! i just think its a very interesting detail to include and dissect.
#and my most important question of all:#WHY DID WE ONLY GET A COOL SCAR AT THE VERY END OF THE COMIC TIMELINE!!!!!! LET ME GIVE HIM COOL SCAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i just didnt want to include that bc im trying not to undermine the validity of my own arguments opinions and thoughts with jokes as often#rising from the sandman grave to Talk About Things#would you believe me if i told its bc i was making a picrew of him.#anyway#dream of the endless#the sandman#the sandman meta#meta post#raspberry rambles#the sandman spoilers
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they continue to be Thee besties ever. number one duo spot in my mind!
#well. maybe number two#well. im very bad at ranking it fluctuates daily#Theyre One Of The Most Duos In My Mind!#anyway wally riding barnaby like a horse is absolutely Hysterical to me#giddyup pardner....#what's the reason? whimsy? to make people tilt their heads? to show wally what it's like to be tall?#so that barnaby doesnt have to walk slower? simply because they Can?#< these are the important lore questions#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#sometimes i think about them and then i punch my hand through a window#very casually. yes theres blood everywhere dont worry about it#its nbd. im Normal. not unwell at all!#why is there glitter in the blood? Dont Worry About It.#im simply full of microplastics
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More than just the Demon.
#ffxiv#digital art#zenos yae galvus#venat#endwalker spoilers#will forever be fascinated with this man#look guys look- the literal embodiment of wol's wings of hope LOL (and me going hehe about that and footfalls)#the part of me that adores digging into the nuance of character writing (intentional or otherwise) is just latched onto zenos#and venat-- they cant just give us two characters who get really important 1v1 duels#and ask really important questions#and love the MC and are willing to risk themselves so unconditionally#and have them not live rent free in my brain#--and maybe this tiptoes into the realm of crack theory so beware there will be a lot past here--#but I cant help but think zenos is akin to an oracle or warrior of light but was tempered/corrupted by zodiark#or some strange happenstance of varis (who shares visual traits to golbez before 6.0 ever came out and the dark mana burst)#and carosa (who it seems zenos got his looks from- and he already looks like he has ties to venat and argos like minfillia does)#was he a result of the eternal chess match between the two parties' machinations? or just some strange twist of fate?#another day of him being “emet's successful experiment” (again- intentional or no) making me thonk#theres something so strange about the final days dreams and how dark aspected he is- that his void abilities are more tied to him tbh#yet his mannerisms beyond just what he's been through almost reminds me of light corruption and the uncanny calmness#we see in most beings associated with the light in any significant way and like second phase eden shiva#he almost has all the marks of someone who shouldve already had the echo or blessing of light but for one reason or another#was unable to hear hydaelyns call#of course it doesnt help i mentally associate him with connections to zero and how she was corrupted before she was even born#and durante- who states uncanny ability and connection with light and darkness and yet favors dark magic more#i simply live with the idea that zenos' soul was an eternally faithful companion to wol's and#this time the cardinal sin of separating the pair finally happened to rather dire consequences lmao
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purgatory / the nothingness
#tenka willow#my sona#there's no light in this room#my art#you don't get to see the hall of nothing because no (its literally just a hall of nothing#i would've drawn it but its less important and also i drew too much today already#pumping out lore art for the important end of willow's timeloop atleast#the nothingness normally is indeed literally just nothing for most people#but if you don't somehow die then you get to enjoy this beautiful place (not)#i feel like willow is probably one of the only ones who can access it because he cant die#being the creator and all#also i briefly explained the purpose of the purgatory and nothingness (and the hall) in the last lore post i think#im always up to questions tho im too lazy to explain everything in detail in tags
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rough art tips to learn and then break at your leisure.
the distance between your eyes is roughly one eye. the corners of your mouth dont extend past the middle of each eye. ears are roughly in the middle of the tip of the nose and the eyebrow. the eyes are in the very centre of the head. the neck is just a Little slimmer than the width of the head (varies with fat distribution, but fat tends to build up under the chin). hair is easier to draw when you plot out the hairline and then where it parts. leaving appropriate distance on the side of the face (cheekbone area and back to ear) contributes to making characters look more realistic/hot as hell. i dont know specific tips for that so use reference. an amazing reference/study site is lineofaction.com . if you think of the face in planes it makes it easier to construct (look up tutorials). if you draw a spiral like a tornado it can help you figure out awkward perspective for extended limbs (look up foreshortening coil technique). tangent lines are when two lines intersect and cause visual confusion (when it looks like a line that defines an arm is part of the line that defines a building, for example) and avoiding them makes your art way easier to comprehend. quick trick to good composition: choose a focal point (where you want your viewer to focus), detail that area the most, and make sure various elements of the piece are pointing to that focal point. you can use colours to contrast hue, saturation, and brightness and make certain elements of your drawing stand out. drawing in greyscale can help you figure out values. using black in a piece isn't illegal but you should know what you're doing when you do use it- it desaturates a piece and if used as a shading colour can desaturate and dull whatever youre shading too. if you use almost-black lineart and then add black to darken the very darkest areas it will do a lot to add some nice depth. the tip of your thumb ends just above the start of your index finger- your thumb also has two knuckles and all your other fingers have three. if you see an artist doing something you like (the way they draw noses or eyes or hair or anything else) you can try to copy that and see if you want to incorporate it in your style <- this is ENCOURAGED and how a lot of us learned and developed our styles. there are ways to add wrinkles to faces and bodies without making the character look a million years old, you just have to keep experimenting with it. The smile wrinkles around your muzzle dont connect to your mouth or to your nose; there should be a small space in between smile or nose and the wrinkle line. eyes when viewed in profile are like < aka a little triangle shape. think of the pupil like a disk and apply foreshortening to it (it looks like a line when seen from the side instead of a full round dot). subtle gradients can add a LOT to a piece. texture can also add a LOT. look up Tommy Arnold's work (his murderbot pieces are some of my FAVOURITE) and zoom in. find those random little circles he added and try to figure out why he added them there. light bounces. there's lots of way light bounces. sometimes it even spreads through the skin. i do not know these light tricks yet but i want you to know that they exist. draw a circle to indicate hand placement, draw a straight line between that circle and the shoulder, and then (normally at a right angle) draw a straight line on top of that line to find the placement of the elbow. elbows are normally placed Just above the hip when standing and your arm is at rest. there are no bad colour combos if you're brave enough about it, just fuck with the saturation and brightness until it works. keep playing. try new things. add your own tips to this post if you want or even expand on some ive mentioned here. good luck go ham etc
#look at this post#the sum of almost all of my art knowledge#all that i can remember rn anyway lmaooo#shit i didn't mention the tips for backgrounds that i know#eh that's environment most of this deals with character work anyway#i learned most of this from tutorials and kind artists who like to talk about their work#i would not know NEARLY as much about creative shit as i do if it weren't for the people who were willing to talk about their skills#and their tricks and their observations. id be nothing without them i dont remember most of them but i am so so grateful for that kindness#so ig here ill spread that a little further#if you have any questions go ahead and ask i am a NERD about art okay i do not know everything but i am always willing to talk about what i#do know#art tips#one of the most important things for you to do as an experienced or beginner artist tho#is to PLAY#experiment#figure out what's fun and what looks nice and what looks nice faster and just. whatever the fuck you want to learn#it is SUCH a joy
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scrolling through novena after novena choosing which saints i think would be most receptive to my frivolous little interpersonal problems
#like heartbreak problems are not something im bringing to joan of arc. i love her. but she would not understand.#life hack (my most psychotic person in the world position secured): do a novena to the confirmation saint of the person making you sad!#tell that saint come get ur boy#he’s acting up#if the person in question is a male and you don’t know his confirmation saint i will give you a hint#it is probably Saint Sebastian#there’s like an 80% chance#and Mary is always a good option because as a Mother she has to listen to all of our stupidest problems#also she asked Jesus to as His first ever miracle and the start of His ministry on Earth make a party better so she gives me the confidence#to ask God for things I know aren’t world changing important#to anyone but me.
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have you ever considered...that identifying out of woman/girlhood because you don't relate to the societal implications, expectations, etc... contributes to making womanhood (feel) even more restrictive? maybe you feel better when thinking of yourself as anything but a girl/woman because you do not feel like a woman (what does that even mean?) but in my opinion you just added another brick into the prisonwall that is gender.
#just my opinion#i wish it was more accepted to question gender identity and to encourage others to question WHY they dont feel like#they “fit” their gender#and your actions have consequences for others too#there will be girls after you who UNDERSTANDABLY hate being perceived as female but their take away will not be that society sucks for wome#and needs to be changed and change happens with every gnc woman and girl who stands her ground and says fuck you to the gendered expectatio#placed upon her from the moment of her birth#but she will take away that as she does not fit the narrow societal definition of womanhood that there is no space for her in it and#that SHE needs to change and this goes on and on until womanhood is simply the label for people who present the most sexist stereotype of#what a woman is#and the fact that i get asked for my pronouns since having short hair and the girl with long hair next to me isnt is a fucking sign of that#and also i beg you to question why a pronoun a tiny word other ppl use when talking about you is SO loaded with negative/positive#implications that it holds so much importance for you#all this applies specifically for ppl without dysphoria btw#i also believe that dysphoria is at least heavily influenced by societal expectations too but its a bit more complicated#personal#you may send me death threats now lol i dont even care anymore#radfem safe#radblr#radfems do touch
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now, you’re pretty obviously a farcille shipper (and tbh who isn’t lol). but i’m curious. do you think it’s the most important relationship in dungeon meshi?
i don’t think comparing relationships is really how someone should view a narrative at all. farcille is my favorite relationship in dungeon meshi, yes, but i don’t think it’s the most important. sure, i’m a big shipper and i’m open to the fact; i’m also not blind enough to the plot to know that fundamentally the story is about laios and his sister.
yea, almost none of the plot would have happened if marcille wasn’t so devoted to falin. but also none of it would have happened if laios wasn’t equally devoted to saving falin. both can be true at the same time.
i’d even argue that falin and marcille’s relationship is equally as important as laios and marcille’s relationship. though i read the former as romantic and the latter as platonic, that doesn’t mean the romantic one has more value.
almost all of marcille and falin’s relationship is only seen in flashbacks and in their respective motivations as characters (like how marcille’s greatest desire is to keep her loved ones alive longer. and how falin was very ready to let people die if it meant her loved ones would live). on the other hand, marcille and laios’s relationship is at the forefront of the story and actively develops with the plot. again, they’re both just completely different dynamics.
and if we’re REALLY talking about the importance of relationships in dungeon meshi, i could even argue more abstractly that laios’s relationship with monsters and food is the most important driving force for the story. but i don’t think you had the abstract route in mind, so i won’t digress further.
TLDR no dynamic is similar enough to justify comparison. they’re all equally impactful, and the story would not be the masterpiece that it is if these relationships didn’t work in tandem with each other.
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi analysis#laios touden#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#this question reminds me of a conversation i had with my film class#on whether the director is the most important factor of a movie#but then we all kind of agreed that if you remove a single aspect of a film. you simply cannot have the film#no director? no movie. no actors? no movie. no lighting department? no movie. no costume/makeup? no movie.#sorry this turned into an essay (i am not at all sorry)#also sorry if it isn’t super coherent. i’m exhausted#asks#anon
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the implication some version of animated teen tita.ns vaguely like ttg exists in comic canon.... i desperately need to know who in dick's life is a die hard show fan and how many times he rants he's 'not like that'
#the titan.s: is this fucking play about us??? like do they ever watch it did they sign off rights so many questions.#especially tt/g rob.in. i find him very amusing. silly little man. i want ten of them.#titans spoilers#tuesday spoilers#comic spoilers#interesting they'd make dick infected so quickly either that was (monologue incoming) apart of his plan all along#or babs is gonna lead the plan#i hate titan.s fighting titan.s but man do i love a good 'this isnt you' plot#like having to fight but you cant hurt the other because youre trying to save them UGH okay fine youve caught my interest current tita.n ru#also i know this art style has never missed but dick and gar.th are too handsome. like im not fighting you two whatever you say handsome#also also MOST IMPORTANT MERRY KORY CONTENT TUESDAY#very upset she yet again has to relive trauma but the panel of kory and donna hugging in the explosion will help me last the winter <3#* i'd love to write but it's just not realistic / ooc.
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zoro being treated gently is smth i sooo want to explore like. yes hes big and strong and scary to strangers, but hes also strong and self sufficient and emotionally evasive to those close to him, and he's obviously so used to being handled roughly or thoughtlessly (to the point where he instinctively puts himself between the brunt of it and his loved ones, always) and it surely doesnt hurt or get to him on account of being so used to it, but to take someone like that and show them tenderness, show them they Deserve it and can reach for it is so . ough.
#unfortunately the one fic idea i have for this is like. the rest of the premise is not it.#and i myself have some reservations about like. perceptions of the concept and questions of like. well lets not get into all that#i mean itll be in my marineford au a little bit but obviously the context of that is vastly vastly different#bc im not talking here about a time of need or crisis i mean in an everyday capacity#to take this man and love him gently and hold his hand and hear his thoughts that kind of thang#well. i should write my grotty little fic anyway just for the most important girl in the world: me ^•^
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no major fic updates just yet guys TAKE MY WOY OC I MADE LIKE. April of last year IM PLUGGING SOME INFO ABOUT THIS GUY IN THE TAGS.
I may also redesign her soon or something. Make her more bug-like with some stuff. I can cook guys let me cook !!!
#THIS IS VAL !!!! dubbed her as a he/she er..#I have lore about this guy and his homeplanet Amore and the Lovebugs..#all that’s really important to know is that ive based the worldbuilding for Amore around svtfoe’s mewni#design wise mostly. I’ll emphasize.#in terms of the societal parts of Amore the kingdom kinda flourishes in the arts of all sorts and trade within the kingdom it goes crazay…#they were pretty closed off from the rest of the galaxy though. like their tech and stuff is pretty outdated compared to most of the other-#planets with atleast escape ships and all that fun stuff.#foreshadowing#ANYHOW lovebugs are silly guys I think of them as like weird hedonistic freaks of sorts#they have very big dionysus worshipping energy to them just to give a perspective#and of course they prioritized relationships and the different forms of love#romance actually wasn’t even the big thing that built the kingdom#it was more like a love for community and friends#which is also kinda silly because of the monarchy aspect to Amore and all that#OH ALSO these guys go absolutely crazy with fashion and makeup. gender isn’t a major thing in the kingdom in my eyes#you WILL serve cunt!! /silly#WORLDBUILDING ASIDEEE Val was the prince to the kingdom and was set to be the heir to the throne#the designs are like three different route ideas ive had for Val#the first is just a baseline design so like. pre amore‘s destruction from dominator#the second is like a good ending design of sorts to my ideal lineup for a season three for woy with val continuing to embrace the lovebugs-#history and culture even with Amore gone and a good portion of her people#and the third. is a bit hard to describe because it’s more of an au but it’s just a concept idea I had of Val teaming up with Dom#(it would be short lived like probably a few months max so dw)#and silly note i joked about the idea of val being an ex to peepers BUT I WANNA DEVELOP THAT MORE BEFORE I SHARE.#tap into that this may be cringe but i am free mindset or something slash silly TEEHEE#BUT YEAH Val’s just a silly gal in my heart and soul no matter what. ive missed her a lot i wanna work on fics with him and especially to-#develop more stuff for Amore and the Lovebugs before Dominator’s destruction of the planet#BUT YEAH i wanna Val post more. go into depth for their dynamic with the other characters and all that#I may cook some more stuff with him once I get these stargazing fics all set and whatnot SO WE’LL SEE!#also /nf but if anyone would wanna ask questions about val/amore/lovebugs ask away I’d love to answer any questions! 🥺
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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I think it's hilarious how you go from "Shannon when I catch you"(about keefe) to "Shannon is ten different kinds of genius"
(@alaydabug2)
what can i say sometimes shannon is a genius. but most times she's just. why
#the general rule with me is “shannon plot and character bad but shannon worldbuilding good”#that's GENERALLY how my opinions shake out#you'll notice most of the things i like about shannon is stuff to do with how she set up the world and how she explores it#and when she can be subtle about shit???? oh it slaps. it slaps so so so so hard. like the quote from emery#she's not directly being all “THE COUNCIL VIEW HOW THEY APPEAR AS MORE IMPORTANT THAN PROTECTING THE PEOPLE DO YOU SEE IT? DO YOU GET IT?”#so it hits harder. but oh boy her character writing is so fucking questionable#anyway if there wasn't anything good in kotlc i wouldn't be here now would i#kotlc lodestar#lodestar#kotlc#asks#alaydabug2#ilikebookssomuch
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y'know despite the pervasiveness of modern au in les mis fandom i don't think i've ever come across a fic that has an interesting and well-executed answer to the question of what enjolras's politics would be/what he would actually be doing in a modern au
#most of the time they just don't care about the question. which is fine#like genuinely it's only one of many ideas to engage with and many fics engage with other ideas very well#but i guess my point is that i think it's silly when people complain that people get his politics wrong in modern aus#i just think the question is much more complicated than people give it credit for and doing it “right” is less important to me than#doing it interestingly#txt#like people do in fact explore how he as a person is affected by his devotion to whatever his vague politics are#which is part of what im getting at here#but not all of it#anyway maybe one day I'll fr write fleabag au. the only problem is that i don't think i have anything to say that isn't obvious
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I tried to mod something and the good news is, it didn't crash the game. 🥳 The bad news is, not what I was looking for lmao.
Like, don't get me wrong. I've seen way worse (the stuff of nightmares) on a modding channel I've been teaching myself this stuff lately, so. It's not like I completely fucked this thing up or anything like that.
It's just... I still gotta ask though.
What went wrong here?
#personal#my mods#(sort of kjdkd)#i was just lamenting this stuff on a fandom discord channel. saying i'm at my wits' end here and about to quit this shit#i tried following a tutorial on a modding channel and i got the whole thing working for the most part#he's sized correctly. animations seem to work. nothing is stretching apart from hair. the textures are all fucked up now but yeah#but because what i'm trying to do here is a little different than what that tutorial does#(they still keep pointing to that very same tutorial though)#it seems that either i did something wrong. maybe i skipped some important part?#(because one answer claimed if it's a model extracted from the same game it doesn't need to be rigged or weight-painted)#but then that video tutorial also says you need to separate some parts so that nothing's stretching etc.#which is obviously a thing that's happening above. that hair is in fact stretching. A LOT#i'm guessing because cloud and zack have different hair. so they must have different hair physics or something#but then. i also learned on that channel that zack doesn't have his own animations. because he's neither playable/non-playable#because he only appears in this one cutscene towards the end of the game. he has his own model and textures though#so i don't know whether that means he doesn't have his own physics either or...?#meaning i probably need to use another model's hair physics as well and somehow transfer them on zack's hair too or smth like that maybe#i don't know. i'm so confused#like i've put so much effort into this. so many retries already. i'm getting sick of the shaders input part actually lmao#and i'm so close but i'm stuck!#i tried asking for help on a modding channel but because my question didn't get answered in a couple of hours i chickened out and deleted i#and now i'm like i need help. i just don't know what i did wrong 🙈 i need strength and courage
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Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:
Steph (25):
Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)
Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)
Her worst trait really is her spitefulness
Cass (26)
Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.)
Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness.
Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)
Tim (24)
Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)
Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)
His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)
Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)
Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this).
Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)
His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)
Dick (17)
Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)
Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)
His worst trait actually is his anger issues.
Barbara (18)
Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)
Thinks her worst trait is her disability
Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)
Damian (16)
Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)
Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism
His worst trait actually is his perfectionism
Duke (16)
Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)
Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)
His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words
Jason (14)
Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne).
Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)
His worst trait actually is his reactiveness
#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#tim drake#dick grayson#barbara gordon#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#batfamily#randomizedrobinsau#I'm debating whether I should tag this with the Joker Junior tag and those related to it for Pierrot#because like...it's not quite that. but it's also very close to that and is the direct result of that.#but Pierrot would fucking HATE to be tagged as that and sees it as an insult to his identity...which he already has problems with#so I don't think I'm gonna#anyways lmao I am totally projecting my younger self onto Barbara. How could I not? She's literally the reason I view my disability#the way that I do and she actively improved my mental health just by existing and saying some of the shit she did when I was in the#stages of accepting my own disability. So yeah I am projecting a lot onto her because I love her and see myself in her.#I'm mostly basing these characterizations on my favorite versions of them (ie Red Robin 2009 Tim and Birds of Prey Barbara).#so I'm taking the traits I like/think fit in this AU and discarding what I think either is bad or doesn't fit or if I just don't like it.#Damian's 'murder gremlin who is a meanie on purpose because he is a meanie' is entirely unappealing to me and also does not fit this AU#I prefer him when he's portrayed as a sympathetic kid (who is still an asshole) and not a demon child. So that's what I'm using.#same with Talia's 'abusive mother who is totally on-board with all of her father's bullshit and will kill someone for no reason' version#I have read enough comics to know what I like/what is most important and what I don't like/what is#BLATANT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GRANT MORRISON YOU FUCK YOU SET TALIA BACK SO FUCKING FAR#I also decided to outline their WORST traits because I already know what I like about these characters/their best traits.#most people do. But what was a greater challenge was finding what would make their lives and those of others worse.#what would I hate about this person if I knew them IRL? What would I first suggest they get therapy for? What hurts them and why?#I found these questions really interesting in the context of this AU where some people are forced into completely different roles#the says/thinks/is was inspired by trying to answer that question for myself. I say my worst trait is my impulsiveness but when#I asked others in my life they answered 'oh so you said your weird thing where you don't ask for help right?'
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