#and my just like. constant state of exhaustion
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taesansbeloved · 13 hours ago
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I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. (엔하이펜)
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synopsis: doing skincare/cozy stuff with bf!enhypen warnings 🚨 tooth rotting fluff, skinship, petnames, and kissing.
(OT7)
Nova notes: HIHI ❣️ this was based on this request. I will probably do a whole one for Ni-ki later, and also probably Heeseung because I cannot resist writing fluff for this man.
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Heeseung (희승)
You were sat on the bathroom counter with Heeseung in between your legs, hands on your thigh, rubbing up and down gently, watching you with heart eyes while you apply moisturiser on his face. "Stop looking at me like that." You said shyly, his gaze making your face heat up. "Why? You're pretty." He stated, his gaze not wavering from your ethereal face. Your smile widens as you feel Heesueng leaning closer to your touch. "Everyday I'm shocked that you're my girlfriend, because omg, you're fucking gorgeous." He whispered, relishing in the feeling of your warm hand. You roll eyes, trying to hide your flustered face, but that's impossible when he is looking at you like THAT. He chuckles slightly and turns his head, kissing your palm lovingly.
Jay (정성)
You were having a tough week as it was midterms season. Constant studying, endless stressing, and a ruined sleep schedule that had Jay ruining his aswell. Jay knew that one of the ways to help you ease the stress, besides his cooking, is simply taking care of you. "Baby, I'm fine really. I just need to sleep." You said as Jay placed you on the bathroom counter and stood in between your legs, having your entire night care routine out beside you. "Yeah, and you also need some me love. So I'm giving you some." He said softly as he picked up the cleanser. He gently wet your face with a damp towel and began rubbing the cleanser all over your. You can feel your eyes getting heavier with every warm touch against your skin. Jay chuckled as he took in your drowsy figure, feeling his heart warm up with an overwhelming amount of love. "I hate seeing you this stressed, baby, you know that?" He said softly as he was caressing your face tenderly. "Blame the school system." You said, voice low with sleep and exhaustion. Jay sighed as he walked you to the he'd and completed your skincare while your sleeping soundly on the bed. "Sleep well, princess."
Jake (재윤)
You and him were sat opposite to eachother on your shared bed with a variety of different colors of nail polish. "Okay, so, what color do you want, baby?" Jake asked, assessing each color individually. "I don't really know. You choose for me." You said with a cheeky smile. Jake smiled, looking up at you with eyes full of stars. "Oh, I've been waiting for this day. Okay, I will not disappoint you." He paused then gasped again, "Should I make you a design?" He asked with huge puppy eyes. You nodded, sharing the same enthusiasm. He picked up the baby pink and the pearly white nail polish and began painting your nails while talking with you about everything and nothing. After an hour or so, Jake finished with an excited clap. "Okay, I put my heart, sweat, and tears into this. I hope you like it." He said as you brought your hands up to see his masterpiece. Eyes lighting up with adoration, "omg, jake I love this! I will never take it off." You said, throwing your arms around him and peppering kisses all over his face. His and your giggles filled the room, love swirling in the dim room.
Sunghoon (성훈)
"What's that for?" That was the question Sunghoon has been asking everytime you put a different product on his face. Now you were doing face masks. "This is a hydration face mask." You said simply, standing on your tip-toes to place the sheet mask over his flawless face. His hands unconsciously finding its way to your waist, holding you gently yet protectively. "And what's the one you have on your face?" He asked, mumbling from the face mask, afraid of disturbing you while you're patting it down. "It's the same thing just a different color." You explained, pushing his soft bangs away to smooth the mask down on his forehead. He hummed as he began rubbing your waist up and down, filling your stomach with butterflies. "Now we wait 20 minutes." You said, standing back at your original height. "I have some ideas that can fill those 20 minutes." He smirked down at you as you rolled your eyes, pecking his lips slightly that eventually led to a 20 minute make out session.
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camelspit · 1 year ago
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grrr hate art
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye
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rubiesintherough · 3 months ago
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#(( ooc. ))#.... so#if youre wondering why ive been so absent lately. ots bc im dealing with stuff like that. on top of handling everytuing around the house#and additional super stressful family drama#health scares caused by stress#the works. i feel like im a constant state of mindfuckery and i have been since we moved#thoght things would improve after getting away from MIL but apparently not#ive been so exhausted and stressed and pain has bee. spiking so bad#im really trying to be here bc writing has always been a calming thing for me like a fun distracting hobby#to get my mind off irl things but everytime i open up a reply i start crying#bc the words arent there and im too tired to even tupe bc im running myself ragged#and on top of that im dealing with hubby and whatever the f is up with him and the weird#180s he does where 1 second hes the sweetest most attentive guy ive ever known and the 2nd#im crying and apologizing for doing sometjing weong and i dont even inderstand what i did but hes upset at me#and somethings suddenly my fault#or im begging him for help around the apartment or smth#idk. i am really trying to be here i swear i am. i miss you all. i miss the stories we're writing together#i miss by bbys and wanna weite with them bc theyve been loud and active but i iust cant type what i want to#a single paragraph is taking me hours to get out no joke#idk. sprry for dumping all this on the dash out of nowhere im just kinda flailing right now and offkilter#gonna head off to bed and see if an actual good nights sleep for the first time in a week helps with my brain and makes things make sense#hope you all have a goodnight. sorry again for this#negative tw#negativity tw#venting tw#personal tw
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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for songs that have to be listened to 5 months after a loss, rather than 5 days after a loss,
no wonder it didnt stick back then. this is a song for now.
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xamaxenta · 1 year ago
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chemically i feel like i should be allowed to equalise ive suffered enough
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spinspoon · 1 year ago
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me when i keep considering taking a break from Online
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the-kipsabian · 10 months ago
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my sleep schedule is so utterly fucked hurray
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sailforvalinor · 2 years ago
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alcohol-eyes · 1 year ago
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#2 whole weeks sobeR let’s talk abt it#this the longest I’ve gone without a crumb of weed in my system in 5 yrs and the second longest in 8 yrs#For a long long time I thought I was self medicating the adhd but turns out I was making it Significantly worse#I have an attention span now I can watch tv without scrolling on my phone or playing w fidget toys#My apartment has stayed perfectly clean for the past 2 wks#haven’t rly struggled with eating or sleeping routines are v important wit it tho#been relying heavily on safe foods I’ve eaten the same exact thing every day for 2 weeks but it’s fine#ashwagandha helps me not wanna peel my skin off in rage#time moves INSANELY slower when ur not h*gh every waking second of the day these have been the Longest 2 wks of my life#but also I have So Much more time to do things and SO much more energy to do the things#I thought being anxious and exhausted was just my constant state of being but turns out that was Also just the weed#The insane nightmares have been The hardest part but most of the time my dreams are just weird#Feeling emotions is weird I’ve cried more in the last 2 weeks than I have in the last 2 years#I cry about good things I cry about beautiful things art as a whole is just so moving#self regulating after stressful things like work or staying with my parents is definitely New as w as decompressing after socializing w ppl#I do things like paint and journal and make silly little bracelets now#Idk man it just hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be#A few months ago me and ******** were talking about how we’d actually k word ourselves without it#turns out the jazz cabb was making my depression and anxiety so much worse than it actually is#shits literally fine#Anyways don’t let ppl tell u u can’t develop an unhealthy relationship w weed I was h*gh every waking second of my day for 5 yrs#Last time I tried this I immediately became an alcoholic instead this time I don’t even feel the desire to have a single little drink#Overall I have A Lot more self control in every single area of my life#I don’t waste my money on dumb shit I can eat normal amount of food like a normal person#The thought of buying my favorite cookies and only having like Two of them used to be such an unreasonable concept to my little brain#I don’t know if this is gonna be a permanent thing I definitely know I can’t do it habitually#just like I learned I can be normal about alcohol if I don’t keep it in my house and only do it when socializing for special occasions#anyways if ur thinking about taking a break from ur favorite substance maybe give it a try#thx for coming 2 my ted talk if u read the whole thing I luv u take care of urself
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piplupod · 1 year ago
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certain sense of uhhhhhh ominous je ne sais quoi to knowing parents return tomorrow ,,,, a feeling of ... shall we say,, doom?
sometimes i have a sudden realization of how insane this all is. like. how the fuck am i living through this. this is so genuinely wack. how am i surviving this, how is THIS how i live. i just wake up every day and deal with this ??? this has been my entire life??? i just... exist in a state of constant genuine feeling like a prey animal cornered in a cage, and there is not a way to stop that.
and i know many many countless other ppl exist in and are stuck in abusive situations and I'm not special for this, but i also know countless other ppl AREN'T experiencing this and won't ever experience this and all of that fucking makes me ill. nobody should experience this, but sometimes i get so /angry/ about how i was dealt this hand, and it didn't Have to be like this.
and other ppl get to use coping mechanisms and all the pithy platitudes that people throw around help, but I hear it and it's just like someone is handing me a kleenex to try to stop the flow of blood from an entire limb being torn off of my torso.
but then the disconnect haze settles back over me and I can be okay again (..... """""okay"""") and keep trudging along and not kill myself and be a decent person to be around. and then i wake up and go through it all again
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swordsoprano · 8 months ago
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ok yeah but. some schools don't do a good job teaching it.
“we need to teach media literacy in schools” guys was i really the only person paying attention in english class bffr
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never-quite-buried · 27 days ago
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Bless the overnight emts & er staff who communicated with me, a psych patient presenting with panic attacks verging on fear of a heart attack or stroke and delusions of surveillance, as if i was a human fucking being. So not used to that but wow it was a change of pace. Being offered an ACTUAL benzo to stop the spiraling instead of a fucking benadryl was so refreshing. My mind is quiet right now and I’m so fucking grateful. I feel like a different, far more coherent and pleasant to be around, person.
Extra shoutout to my mom who sliced me up some cheese and an apple to snack on cause everything else sounded awful. I love you mommy😭
#me crying in the ambulance like ‘i dont want to die but this isnt living im so exhausted of being like this’#the emt who sat with me and put on my monitor stickies was so nice and he smelled like my dad#and i just got this rush of missing him so bad and wishing he was here with me and not in texas#they were angels they didnt talk down to me they listened and took what i said seriously#emts are amazing i love yall 😭#shoutout to the guy who took me quite literally when i said ‘i feel like im being hunted for sport’#no no i mean that the things that trigger my autonomous defenses account for just about everything#so i live in a constant state of fight/flight but given that i can’t fight emails i have an inbox i only check when im expecting something#phone calls are another stressor that do not feel resolved by completing them they just Stress Me Out#and that stress and primal gut instinct to nope out or throw hands never feels resolved#i feel like im being watched ALL the time (except in my own home under special ritualized circumstances)#like im a housebound agoraphobic mess getting wheeled into the er was like#the most human contact ive had in MONTHS#anyway meds do fucking help fuck all my prior medphobic psychs#atavan oh atavan thank you#i was losing the ability to even describe my symptoms when they picked me up i felt like words were so hard to get out and they weren’t#the words that i wanted to say hapf the time which was quite distressing as i value word choice HIGHLY in communication#ugh I’m feeling so much better maybe i will sleep 6 hours without a nightmare tonight#i hope i hope
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jackalbitten · 3 months ago
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im so tired of constantly being the one to reach out why do i always have to be the first to message the first to send posts that remind me of other people the first to start stuff the first to give recommendations if i don't carry a conversation than it won't happen. if i went completely radio silent right now until someone spoke to me first i would be silent for months. maybe years even. i'm so tired of it.
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the-fog-system · 11 months ago
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quinoariver · 1 year ago
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came out to my coworker the other week and she was supportive about it but also gave me the Oh That's So Interesting treatment so i am absolutely fucking dreading going back to work on monday
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