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Carmen, Natalie, and the Berzattos

CW: this post talks about domestic violence, addiction, mental health, racialised trauma, toxic masculinity and intergenerational trauma (this show deals with so much friends!).

Go gently with yourself if you choose to continue to read. Also its a long one (longer than my usual!) so fair warning if you're diving in: maybe put the kettle on.

Following on from The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card metas (Part 1 and Part 2), I've been thinking more about The Berzattos (represented via Natalie's hair claw in Carmy's apartment) and their presence (seen and unseen) in season 3 of The Bear.

@espumado's fantastic meta on The Night of the Hunter and its use in The Bear, particularly as it relates to Natalie and the struggle she goes through in season 3 has informed a lot of this post. My reblog of that post also contains a lot of thinking that I had started to scratch at but haven't been able to expand upon until now. Also check out @currymanganese's brilliant analysis of The Night of the Hunter in the context of romantic relationships in The Bear.

Another source of information I've used in the research for this meta is this fantastic interview in the LA Times with the cast involved in 2x06 Fishes (thanks @brokenwinebox for sharing it!). Also thank you to @thoughtfulchaos773, @brokenwinebox and @devisrina for the chat about the above interview and discussions about Donna Berzatto's relationship with her son, Carmy.

Finally @vacationship's most excellent breakdown of the roles taken up by characters in The Bear according to Adult Children of Alcoholics ('ACA') roles defined by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruise and communicator types as developed by Virginia Satir has also informed this post.

The Berzattos

Okay so, given what we know about Carmy and about the Berzattos, it would seem obvious that, yes, his birth family is going to impact Carmy. I think its probably so obvious, that a lot of the fandom, myself included, have taken Carmy's relationship with his family for granted this season. To be fair, we were also getting Claire and the Faks shoved down our throats so some things flew under the radar including, in my view, the Berzattos.

What got me thinking about the Berzattos as a source of anguish for Carmy was a rewatch of 3x03 Doors - specifically Carmy's panic attack during that episode.

The first panic attack of season 3

At this late point in the episode, we've been watching Carmy and the crew's slowly escalating struggle with the demands of fine dining, when we arrive at Carmy running expo and calling for hands. His voice is hoarse and it sounds like he's been screaming for some time. His vision starts to blur and as he continues to call out for hands, we see glimpses of what appear to be intrusive thoughts, interrupting Carmy's work and triggering a panic attack. The sequence of shots that appear during this panic attack is below:

I note that Carm appears to be trying to come out of the panic attack by remembering his time at The French Laundry and Noma - much like memories of immaculately plated food helped him regulate during his panic attack in 1x08 Braciole and memories of Sydney helped him to regulate during his panic attack in 2x09 Omelette.

The final thought Carm has during this panic attack - indeed the thought he has when it appears that his panic attack is reaching its peak - is of his sister Natalie, in a church praying:

Note: I'm working on the assumption that the above memory of Natalie takes place at Marcus' mother's funeral. This is based on the clothes Natalie is wearing and how her hair is styled.

Its at this moment in his panic attack that you can see the crest in Carmy's emotions. The orchestral score during this sequence also builds to its climax at this point. Carmy's face screws into a tight grimace and he practically spits out the word, Fuck. Its only then that the music cuts away and we hear Sydney's voice bringing Carmy back to the present:

The fact that thinking about Natalie (praying while she carries the next generation of the Berzatto family) is what causes Carmy's panic attack to peak is what got me thinking more seriously about the impact of his birth family on Carm. ( This is something that others including @mitocamdria and @moodyeucalyptus have also picked up on here and here - the Bear hive mind at work!)

Below is my attempt to map these impacts out, from the perspective of intergenerational trauma, which can be described as,

"the apparent transmission of trauma between generations of a family. People who experience adverse childhood experiences growing up, or who have survived historical disasters or traumas, may pass the effects of those traumas on to their children or grandchildren, through their genes, their behaviour, or both, leaving the next generational susceptible to anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, and other emotional and mental health concerns."

I'd argue that intergenerational trauma can continue well beyond a person's grandchildren, particularly in cases where the systemic factors may have caused a trauma (for example: racial segregation, colonialism), continue to impact on multiple generations of a family.

So lets start by looking at Carmy's mother, Donna Berzatto...

Donna's trauma

I preface the below analysis with the caveat that we are not told what mental health diagnoses (if any) Donna Berzatto has (though she is clearly struggling with her mental health when we first meet her in 2x06 Fishes). The inferences I make below are based on what we have been told in the show about trauma that Donna has experienced.

Recall 3x08 Ice Chips where Donna and Natalie are talking in between bouts of Natalie's contractions. At one point in the episode, Natalie says:

I don't remember your mom.

To which, Donna sadly responds:

You don't want to.

Donna then becomes silently tearful remembering her mother.

Its clear from this very brief exchange that Donna has experienced some level of abuse at the hands of her own mother: Michael, Natalie and Carmy's maternal grandmother. That abuse has no doubt impacted on Donna's ability to parent her own children and likely influenced how she parented them as well.

As a mother myself, I've found that one of the hardest things about parenting has been avoiding the repetition of harmful behaviours that I've picked up through my own childhood. For all of us, the first - and often most memorable - models we have for how to parent have been the experiences we've had with our own primary caregivers (whether they were our birth parents or other adults in our lives). If those models were abusive or violent, we have to work that much harder to make sure we don't fall back on those examples when raising our own children. (And let me tell you, in the heat of the moment when your child is cracking a tanty in the grocery store, it takes A LOT to not revert to learned behaviours and instead take a step back and act from a rational place of calm lol).

For many folks who've had abusive childhoods, raising your own children can also be a very triggering journey. This article goes into a bit of why this is the case. If you've not been able to do any work on yourself or receive help to work through your own childhood abuse, you risk "blowing your trauma through" your children (I've borrowed the phrase "blowing trauma through" from African-American therapist and trauma specialist, Dr Resmaa Menakem, whose fantastic book My Grandmother's Hands has also influenced this post and a lot of my thinking about racial and intergenerational trauma). Given Donna's own history of abuse with her mother, its not a big leap to assume that she has "blown her trauma through" Michael, Natalie and Carmy with each of her children experiencing this in different ways.

There's also Donna's clear mom rage, no doubt built up over years as a single parent, and epitomised in the line from 2x06 (that broke my heart when I heard it because it resonated so much),

I make things beautiful for them, and no one makes things beautiful for me.

Based on the show's lore, up until 3x08 it wasn't evident that Donna had ever taken any steps to try and work through her own mental health issues and trauma. Once we get to 3x08 though, when Natalie says that she didn't tell Donna about her pregnancy because,

I just didn't want all the stuff you bring with you.

Donna replies by saying:

Yeah. I've been trying to put that stuff away.

Natalie then asks her mother how that process is going and Donna responds,

Its not easy.

Natalie then tells her mother that she's glad Donna is trying and Donna says she's glad that she's trying too.

Its not much, but the above exchange points to a slight shift in Donna's approach to her own trauma and to her parenting. This shift appears to have put Donna and Natalie's relationship on firmer footing than it has been in the past. Whether it will be enough for Carmy's relationship with his mother is another question and one I'm sure we'll see play out in season 4.

The Berzattos and Italian American racialised trauma

Other than the above exchange in 3x08 Ice Chips, we have no information about Donna's parents. I assume that Donna was born in America given her description of the Feast of the Seven Fishes (also known as La Vigilia) as described to Richie in 2x06 Fishes. During her description, Donna speaks about the Italian immigrants who brought "their seven best things" with them as if she's speaking about ancestors, not her own generation.

She does not use the first person here:

[I]ts based on people who left Italy to find new dreams and homes with new people. And they brought their seven best things from their sea to their new homes. And not so their families end up being a bunch of fuckin' jagoffs. (lmao)

Then Class A Jagoff, Uncle Lee storms into the kitchen and tells Donna that her retelling of the Seven Fishes legend is "not even close" and refers to all the sevens that occur in the Bible. Which is likely a closer explanation for the feast (see this overview on La Vigilia published on the Italian Sons and Daughters of America website). Notably, it was southern Italian and Sicilian immigrants that popularised the Feast of the Seven Fishes in America.

Given the above, it doesn't seem to me that Donna is a first generation Italian immigrant. Depending on the Berzatto family history, its possible that Donna is the daughter of Italian immigrants or the granddaughter of them. Her Italian ancestry could stretch even further back in time. At this point in The Bear, we don't know.

What we should note is that Italian immigrants and in particular, southern Italian and Sicilian immigrants to America, endured a history of racism in that country before their acceptance into the category of "white" in America.

Image source: How Italians Became 'White', The New York Times

This NY Times article provides an overview of the racialisation of Italians in America over time. The article notes that,

"[d]arker skinned southern Italians endured the penalties of blackness on both sides of the Atlantic. In Italy, Northerners had long held that Southerners - particularly Sicilians - were an 'uncivilized' and racially inferior people, [considered] too obviously African to be part of Europe."

This racism of northern Italians towards those from the south of the country was no doubt tied to Italy’s own racist and violent colonial history, including its involvement in Europe's rabid "Scramble for Africa". In the course of its time as a colonial power, Italy came to brutally invade and occupy Eritrea, Somalia, Libya and Ethopia.

Note: I don't think its a coincidence that, Ebraheim, Somalian "grill master", medic and veteran of the American military intervention in Somalia, found himself working at an Italian American beef sandwich shop. Much in the same way that its no surprise that many folks in my Tamil family ended up in the heart of the British Empire - the UK - after fleeing civil unrest and genocide in one of its former colonies (Sri Lanka). As Tamil writer A.S. Sivanandan is famously quoted as saying about post-colonial migration: "we are here, because you were there."

Once they first arrived in America in the 19th century, racism against Southern Italians continued:

"They were sometimes shut out of schools, movie houses and labor unions, or consigned to church pews set aside for black people. They were described in the press as 'swarthy', 'kinky haired' members of a criminal race and derided in the streets with epithets [that were more commonly] applied to enslaved Africans and their descendants[.]"

Though while Italian Americans experienced the severe racial prejudice described above, particularly during their early history in America, some were still able to benefit from their European ancestry in ways that people with non-European backgrounds were unable to. This included: being able to apply for US citizenship, being able to marry, own property, and choose where to live - things that BIPOC people often faced great barriers (if not outright bans) to accessing.

Notably, in Chicago where the Berzattos are based, the history of Italian racialisation differed to other major cities in America. In Italian Immigrants, Whiteness and Race: A Regional Perspective (p. 6) Italian historian Stefano Luconi notes that,

[I]n Chicago, Italian Americans competed primarily with Polish immigrants, who generally turned out to be less hostile to them than Irish Americans in New York City or Boston, and overall their accommodation within the adoptive society was easier than elsewhere.

Given the above, the Berzattos' connection with Polish "family members" Uncle Jimmy Kalinowski, Uncle Lee Lane, and Cousin Richie Jerimovich appears rooted in a long history of Polish-Italian relations in Chicago.

Note: Ancestry.com tells me Kalinowski is a Polish and Jewish last name. Uncle Lee identifies as "Polski" in 2x06 Fishes and in the draft script for 2x06 is listed as Uncle Jimmy's brother. While Richie's ethnicity isn't explicitly stated in The Bear, in 3x04 Violet, he refers to his daughter Eva as żabka which is Polish for "small frog" and is also used as a term of endearment for girls or women.

Eventually Italian Americans were assimilated into the racial category of "white" both legally and in the popular imagination of the country. This happened in a few ways including via Italian Americans claiming whiteness for themselves, particularly in active opposition to Black, African American communities. This is despite their historic racialisation in comparison to Black, African-descent people (which, in a better world, could have been the basis for shared and sustained solidarity between the two communities). Luconi observes that,

"in Brazos County, Texas, Italian Americans learned to claim whiteness for self-protection, which involved showing off hostility toward African Americans in the mid-1890s [...] By the same token, after realizing the social benefits of being characterized by a white identity, Italian Americans in Baltimore embraced the racist premises of the local political leadership in the early twentieth century and joined two campaigns that unsuccessfully aimed at disenfranchising African Americans in 1905 and 1909 by amending the state constitution." from: Italian Immigrants, Whiteness and Race: A Regional Perspective (p. 15)

The above NY Times article states that in 1892, the lynching of 11 Italian immigrants who were accused of killing a police chief in New Orleans resulted in Italy breaking diplomatic relations with America. As a result of this and to prevent unrest in the Italian American community, US President Benjamin Harrison proclaimed 12 October as "Columbus Day" and encouraged Americans to celebrate the contribution of the Italian Christopher Columbus to the creation of America.

Apparently, this sleight of hand (a legerdemain because it: (a) magically erased generations upon generations of First Nations who have existed in the Americas long before Columbus' arrival (and who continue to do so), and (b) because it vanished the explorer's penchant for rape and enslavement of the First Nations' people that he did encounter) was enough to reinstate diplomatic relations between America and Italy as well as carve out a place for Italian Americans in the white, American imaginary.

Indeed, despite recent calls to stop the celebration of Columbus Day led by First Nations people across America, it is Italian American organisations (including the Italian Sons and Daughters of America) and prominent Italian Americans that are some of those voices leading campaigns to keep Columbus Day as it is, reductively and disingenuously dismissing its critics as attacking Italian-American heritage.

Note: the above views are obviously not shared by all Italian Americans. See below protest staged by Italian Americans in the Berzattos' hometown of Chicago, in opposition to the city's Columbus Day Parade (Source: Fox 32 Chicago):

One of my heroes, Toni Morrison, once said of American national identity,

"In this country, American means white. Everybody else has to hyphenate."

White supremacy operates amongst racialised communities through divide and rule, with these communities pitted against one another, trying to achieve as close a proximity to whiteness as possible. In the US context, that proximity brings those communities closer to what is perceived as "American". The above examples show how some Italian American communities in America shifted the racial categorisation of their community to "white" over time by fighting for that proximity. I would argue that that shift came at a great cost, as all racism does: a cost to the BIPOC communities that were fucked over in the process and a cost to the souls of those now "white" Italian Americans who participated in divide and rule to get closer to a white supremacist position of power. Dr Resmaa Menakem would refer to those costs as traumas for both BIPOC communities and (now) white, Italian American communities.

In My Grandmother's Hands, Dr Menakem discusses the impact of racialised trauma on white people. Specifically, that white supremacy - or as Dr Menakem refers to it, "white body supremacy" - is itself a trauma response. I won't get into the details of this framework (and make this post longer than it already is lol) except to say its fascinating and I'd encourage you to read My Grandmother's Hands to find out more. Its relevance here is to illustrate that on top of our individual, personal traumas, we each carry with us racialised trauma. I make the point of articulating this because while The Bear alludes to race (sometimes masterfully as in this scene where Donna tries to play divide and rule in her own way), it often does so obliquely in ways that are not always obvious to viewers (for example, see director Ramy Youssef's discussion in Variety about the bike crash scene in 2x04 Honeydew). But make no mistake, race permeates this show.

For example, I think about Uncle Lee’s jab at Mikey in 2x06 about the latter living with his mom, and compare this to Marcus living with his mother throughout seasons 1-2 or Sydney living with her father in seasons 1-3. I think about how in many communities of colour, multi-generational living isn’t seen as shameful because the focus is not just on financial dependence but on relationships and care. Certainly, an adult child might not be financially independent but if they are caring for their parent, this is something to be valued.

I think about how the move to individualism (championed by Uncle Lee) away from family and community (features that Italian culture is historically very well known for) is a shift that, for many Italian Americans, may be viewed as a cost incurred as a result of an allegiance to white supremacy.

I think also about the words of Tema Okun, who wrote about how white supremacy shows up in organisational and professional settings in her 1999 article "White Supremacy Culture" and how in that work, Okun noted particular identifying characteristics of organisational, white supremacist culture, including (but not limited to):

individualism;

perfectionism;

either/or & binary thinking; and

a sense of urgency.

Sound familiar? I thought they might. These are traits that Carmy has exhibited in almost every episode of season 3 (and periodically in seasons 1-2). Notably, these are traits that are also valorised in the world of fine dining, as we see it through Carmy's eyes throughout season 3 (in flashbacks and in how he chooses to run The Bear). And we all know how well this shit is going for our man (lol).

I'll get into this more in an upcoming meta (again, this is me manifesting in a bid to force myself to finish writing the thing lol), but I just wanted to point out how both in terms of his racialisation and his professional career, Carmy is immersed in white supremacy - whether he wants to be or not - benefiting from its privileges while also being witness and therefore, subject, to its horrors. No one escapes this shit, not even those who've been welcomed into the fold at the top of the hierarchy.

All of this - the racialised history and trauma associated with the Italian American community as well as the clear whiteness that marks the fine dining industry - makes Carmy's character that much more fascinating to me. Here is a character with seemingly no personal prejudices towards BIPOC folks. He loves the BIPOC folks in his life quite dearly (in particular, Marcus who he treats as a brother, and of course Sydney, in whom he's found a soulmate). I think this is likely due in large part to the role Carmy's siblings (Mikey and Natalie) played in raising him. These two characters also appear to care deeply for the BIPOC people in their lives without much of the prejudice that many who have been racialised and socialised in their community might harbour. And in their roles as surrogate parents for Carmy, they appear to have modelled that healthy and normal (because we must remember, what is abnormal is racism) respect for their fellow humans. They're not perfect in this (recall 2x06 and Mikey's bombastic objectification of Claire) but we do see repeated glimpses of their goodness throughout the show (recall 3x06 and Mikey's kindness to Tina, or the pantry scene in 2x06 and the gentleness he displays towards Carmy there). This is in contrast to their mother, Donna, who clearly has done no work to prevent blowing her own racialised trauma and prejudice through the bodies of her kids.

Also while the racialisation of The Bear's BIPOC characters is readily apparent (because the white supremacist culture of the West is more attuned to looking at non-white people and automatically seeing race), its white characters are also racialised and have racialised histories. The above was my attempt at stepping out a bit of the racialisation of The Berzattos, of Carmy, and of the racialised trauma that they also carry with them.

Phew.

Okay, now back to the Berzattos...

Carmy's birth

Recall 3x08 Ice Chips and Donna telling Natalie the stories of each of her children's births. By far, the birth that appears to cause Donna the most rage, the most pain, is Carmy's. It also happens to be the only birth out of her three children that her (by all accounts) deadbeat husband is present for. Donna describes fighting with her husband during the entirety of her labour with Carmy and that the hospital was fucked because it seemed like everyone went into labour at the same time. She then tells Natalie that Carmy took a long time to arrive:

Note: Its not lost on me that Carmy's obsession with speed, rushing and sense of urgency was almost definitely drilled into him from birth, given the rage with which Donna describes his "slowness" in being born.

Donna then goes onto express how frightened she was and the further difficulties involved in Carmy’s delivery:

It was so hard and so scary because he kept getting stuck, and they just kept having to move me, and I remember they were moving me in all these positions. And then at one point, I think they had me fucking upside down or something.

And then, so brutally it becomes darkly funny (I've pushed a kid out too: it can be so painful, if you don't laugh, you'll sob hysterically lol), Donna describes Carmy's birth as just all around fucked:

The whole thing was fucked:

No seriously, very fucked:

So Carmy entered the world and the experience of his delivery was fucked nine ways to Sunday for his mother. A very difficult beginning to this life for a baby, to say the least. I would go so far as to say, given the way Donna is recounting Carmy's birth, that she experienced birth trauma, and possibly developed birth-related post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Contrast this with how Donna describes Michael's and Natalie's births:

Despite Michael also having difficulty being born (Donna recalls that it seemed like "he wanted to stay" in the safety of her womb), Donna says that she felt really good, great and strong during her labour with him and that his birth was even described by a doctor as an "amazing" one.

Donna describes Natalie's birth as "beautiful" with Natalie arriving after Donna had had a restful sleep and a vivid, prophetic dream. Donna then goes onto tell Natalie that she was delivered in the presence of a "sweet" girlfriend (Cicero's first wife, Gail) who sat with Donna during labour and who played "Baby, I Love you" for Donna as Natalie arrived.

The differences in how Donna recalls Mikey, Nat and Carmy's births and Donna's propensity in the past for holding her children's "mistakes" over their heads (recall 2x06 Fishes and the story of how Natalie got the nickname "Sugar"), make me think that she was likely to have rubbed Carmy's difficult birth in his face when he was younger. I think that Donna was also likely to have either intentionally or unintentionally (or perhaps both, depending on the circumstance) made Carmy feel less than his older siblings, maybe not as wanted. We have some evidence pointing to this happening in Carmy's past, peppered throughout the show.

Growing up in the Berzatto house:

As a child Carmy had a stutter, which causes speech to inherently slow (as it takes longer to form words and sentences). He was also scared to speak. Now a stutter in and of itself would not make the person speaking scared. Its other people's reactions to a stutter that would do that. Given Donna's vitriol at how slow Carmy's birth was, and her obsession with time (anyone fancy a kitchen timer? this lady's got 700 of them), its not a stretch to imagine that any delay in Carmy articulating himself as a child would have been met with ridicule or rage from his mother.

We know that all the Berzatto children grew up scared of their mother, a survivor of abuse herself, and an addict who drank to excess with clear mental health issues that it didn’t appear she was seeking treatment for. Recall Natalie's disclosure to Donna in 3x08 Ice Chips:

Carmy also grew up embedded in a particularly toxic type of white, heterosexual masculinity embodied by his brother Mikey and "cousin" Richie (who undoubtedly had it blown through their bodies by family, friends and the white supremacist, homophobic culture we are swimming in, in the West). I've previously discussed this in my meta on the use of 90s alternative rock in The Bear and more recently, in this reblog of @mitocamdria's meta Sublimation and Intellectual Orgasms.

Carmy gets called "a weird little dude" for knowing how to mix a drink in 2x06. He gets called a "gayrod" for owning the Noma cookbook in 1x01. He gets called a "soft shitty bitch" for calling Pete instead of Natalie in 1x05. He gets called a "mopey little fuck" in 2x06 for questioning Mikey and Richie right before they accost him with a veritable wall of gross dudebro, horndog descriptions of Claire (a girl they know and are friends with - again, fucking gross). Carmy hears his mother describe Steve as "gay" for being "arty" in 2x06 (recall that Carmy is also "arty" in that he can draw and likes fashion). If you weren't performing alpha-male dominance like Mikey, Richie, Uncle Lee or even Uncle Jimmy, the Berzatto household was a rough place to be. Truth is though, that all of those white, alpha-males have their own demons, and in the case of Mikey, those demons drove him to take his own life. The truth is that, like white supremacy, no one escapes toxic masculinity unscathed either.

We know Carmy suffered from low self-confidence as a child which might have led him to feeling aimless. He tells us in 1x08 Braciole that he got shitty grades because he couldn't pay attention in school, he didn't get into college, didn't have any girlfriends or many friends for that matter. Carmy also tells us in that same monologue that he wasn't "built" in the same way as his brother, who could walk into a room and take its temperature right away, who was loud, hilarious and magnetic.

I think about how for someone like Carmy, Mikey would have cast a long shadow. I think about how hard it would have been to have lived under that shadow while trying to figure yourself out.

It wasn't until working in fine dining that Carmy found his purpose. He says in 1x08,

For the first time in my life, I started to find this station for myself.

This must have been intoxicating and affirming for Carmy. Yet I think about how, after all that, he could return home having achieved accolades and fanfare in his career, try his best in the chaos of a Berzatto family Christmas to diffuse the powder keg that is Donna, and still be called "Michael" by his mother, his very existence in that moment, feeling like a puff of smoke.

We also know that Carmy's eldest siblings ended up being like surrogate parents for him. Mikey almost certainly was a father figure given the absence of his biological father in Carmy's life. Its not a stretch to imagine Natalie as taking on the role of a surrogate mother, given Donna's abuse and how Natalie looks out for almost everyone throughout seasons 1-3 of The Bear. In this video, Jeremy Allen White also talks about the tattoo Carmy has of two angels with a sun in between them as representing his brother and his sister, further confirming the roles of his "guardian angel" siblings.

I think about Natalie, parentified big sister that she is, sneaking a wad of cash into Carmy’s pocket as he leaves her and Chicago for New York in 3x01. I think about her calling him “honey” in that same episode as she affirms that she knows how good he is at being a chef - “honey” being a term of endearment commonly used in family settings but between parents and their children, not as commonly heard between siblings.

I also think about Mikey being born the eldest, the first and only (for a time) to have to deal with his mother's trauma and expectations. I think about how he took on the work of looking after his mother and his siblings when his father left the Berzatto home. I think about how Mikey is described by the actor who plays him, as a "dreamer who's not allowed to dream. He has to take care of everybody."

Loose ends

Another set of incidents haunting spread throughout season 3 also raised concerns for me, in that they remain unresolved and point to a resolution or confrontation for Carmy and the Berzattos in season 4. I named them in my reblog of @espumado's post on The Night of the Hunter. For ease of reference, I'll bullet point them here:

Carmy finds a box labelled "DD" (his mother, Donna's nickname) at The Bear at the end of 3x05 and looks through it. He appears frozen as he finds a baby photo of his mother holding a baby I assume is him. The episode ends at this moment and neither the box or Carmy's reaction are revisited for the remainder of season 3

Cicero tells Carmy during 3x09 that Donna wants Carmy to call her back about "the baby" (one assumes this is a reference to Natalie's baby) and that Carmy has been "fucking avoiding it" (one assumes again that the "it" here is the baby...but maybe its also just the act of calling Donna back)

But then Carmy says something strange:

Yeah. Hoping it would just go away.

Surely, Carmy's not talking about a baby. Babies can't just go away. And I don't think Carmy is so malicious that he'd wish his sister's child to disappear. I also don't think Carmy would refer to his mother as "it" (he's never done so up to this point on the show, as monstrous as she can be).

And in case you were wondering, Cicero's response to Carmy also doesn't sound like it applies to a baby or Donna (lol):

[Y]ou run right the fuck into it.

Intergenerational trauma and legacy

So what is the "it" that Carmy wants to go away? What is the "it" that Uncle Jimmy tells him to face by running "right the fuck into it"? My suspicion is that this is Carmy's baggage. The baggage that comes with being born a Berzatto and being born to Donna. All the stuff that we've been talking about here. Its also the baggage that both Nat and his mother have been trying to "put away":

Above from 3x02 Next: Natalie in conversation with Carmy. "Its not great 8am stuff."

Above from 3x08 Ice Chips: Donna in conversation with Natalie.

Carmy is trying to do this too: put away his baggage, while having been the "Lost Child" (referring to ACA roles and the recording about them that Natalie was listening to at the end of 3x07 Legacy) and the youngest child in his family for so long but now having to be the "Hero". @vacationship's post on ACA roles as they relate to The Bear gives a great breakdown on what the "lost child" and "hero" roles mean.

In the LA Times interview mentioned above, Jeremy Allen White says,

I don't think Carm's ever been outside of himself enough to really take in another person in their entirety, sadly. I think that's Carmen's real struggle.

As the youngest child of the Berzattos, Carmy has never had to step outside of himself to the extent that Mikey, Natalie or even Donna have had to. He has never had to care for anyone other than himself, until he inherits The Beef. And that responsibility is a HUGE one.

But Carmy jumps into that role, initially fuelled by the desire to retroactively fix his relationship with Mikey and fix "the family". Recall again his monologue in 1x08 Braciole:

[I]ts very clear to me trying to fix the restaurant, was me trying to fix whatever was happening with my brother. And I don't know, maybe fix the whole family because that restaurant, it has and it does mean a lot to people. It means a lot to me.

For the longest time, I interpreted "the family" that Carmy refers to here as his chosen family: the crew at The Beef. I think that while that was true, it wasn't the whole picture. I think Carmy was actually being more expansive in his definition of family to include his entire family: chosen and birth.

So while Carmy is obviously trying to make The Bear a success for Sydney ("Syd, we're going to get a star") and for Marcus ("Take us there Bear", "Yes, Chef"), as well as for the rest of the chosen family he first found at The Beef, Carmy is also trying to fix the restaurant for the Berzattos. Specifically, Carmy is trying to do what his father and brother couldn't do in keeping The Beef/The Bear going. He is trying to embody the Hero ACA role, vacated by Mikey with the latter's passing, even though his sister told him from the start, in 1x01:

No one's asking you to.

What I think I took for granted this season was just how much Carmy's desire to repair the legacy of the father figures in his life (as represented by the restaurant) was brought to an urgent and frenetic head for him in the late stages of Natalie's pregnancy. Upon rewatch of 3x09 Apologies, I picked up on some interesting script choices and imagery that I think have been chosen purposefully to relay to us that this is the case and that the impending birth of his niece is indeed, weighing on Carmy.

Now, at the start of 3x09, Carmy may or may not know Natalie has just had her baby. I assume he does. After Marcus watches that clip about magic, followed by unnecessary Fak, Claire and dumpster content (lol) and then Sydney practising how she's going to break Shapiro's offer to Carmy, we cut to the kitchen of The Bear and we hear Carmy calling out orders while running expo. He's yelling again. His voice is hoarse like it was in 3x03 during his panic attack. We see Carmy's intrusive thoughts at a rapid clip intercut with close ups of his, Sydney's and Richie's faces. We also hear Carmy repeatedly yelling at the staff to push:

Please give me the fucking agnolotti. Push.

Lets fucking push, please. Lets fucking go.

Push, please.

Push, chefs! Please! The cook is fucked. Refire, please.

Push.

From a quick google, "push" is used in restaurant settings but not in the way Carmy's doing here. I've seen it used to mean "sell" an item (as in getting a server to "push" a particular dish to diners so they order it) as well as to describe a busy period during service (as in the restaurant is in the middle of a "push").

In 3x09, Carmy is yelling “push” like a midwife at his sister's side while she pushes out her child, the next generation of Berzattos, into the world. But instead of his niece, Carmy is trying to deliver one more in a litany of dinner services at The Bear.

Note: you can clearly see here that the jagged lines that have appeared since season 1 when Carmy is having intrusive thoughts are actually made up of what look to be hundreds of claw marks. I've noted in a previous reblog of one of @thoughtfulchaos773's posts (that I can't find atm sorry) that this evokes Carmy (the Bear) trying to claw his way out of a mental spiral and back to equilibrium. @currymanganese also noted that the lines themselves look like a neural network, driving the point about Carmy's mental state home.

And then directly after the above "push" scene, we see copious amounts of water ejected over the The Bear's kitchen island, washing away flesh coloured food and sauce that looks like blood splatter:

Having rewatched 3x09 through the lens of intergenerational trauma, with the spectre of Natalie's labour, Carmy's apparent resistance to seeing Natalie or her baby, and having just heard his hoarse voice screaming push, push, push...to me this water started looking a whole lot like birth waters breaking, and amniotic fluid flooding The Bear:

Note: Rest assured, amniotic fluid doesn't contain all those suds.

@espumado pointed out in their The Night of the Hunter meta that the song playing during the above "push" and "broken waters" scenes of 3x09 is a song by Trent Reznor and Atticus Finch from a war documentary. The song is "The Forever Rain" from the documentary series The Vietnam War by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick. I'm sure its no coincidence that a song from a documentary about the Vietnam War - a war whose veterans were the first to be assessed for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) - is being used in a scene acting as an allegory for childbirth, given what we know about how traumatic Carmy's birth was for his mother, and inevitably, for him as an infant.

So why is Carmy so preoccupied with Natalie's pregnancy and the birth of his niece?

I think this all ties back to what Carmy told us in 1x08: that he wants to fix the restaurant (and in the context of season 3, this means making The Bear a success) and that in doing so, fix his family.

Note: which is also why I think we are shown that magic clip that Marcus is watching at the beginning of 3x09 with this bit of dialogue from it: "What makes magic different is that its inherently honest. You tell someone you're gonna deceive them before you deceive them. In some way, that makes it more difficult." We were told in 1x08 what the restaurant means to Carmy and his reasons for fixing it, but Storer and co have spent all of season 3 distracting us with Claire and Fak-shaped sleights of hand getting us looking elsewhere to understand Carmy's behaviour. By 3x10, Carmy's motives haven't changed. He's doing this for his family. All of his family.

Specifically in the context of Nat's pregnancy, Carmy wants to ensure that The Bear is a success for the next generation of Berzatto children, for his niece. And if Carmy is being haunted by a need to fix his family's legacy, particularly given the impending arrival of Natalie's baby - the youngest Berzatto after him - then his desperate, rageful plea to Syd after she brings him back from his panic attack in 3x03 Doors, is even more distressing:

They're going too fucking slow!

What Carmy means is:

I'm going too slow and this restaurant is going to fail because of it. And this baby is going to inherit my failure, just like I inherited Mikey's and just like he inherited our father's.

Remember: Natalie is a part owner of The Bear and so any financial failure of the restaurant will be felt by her and her family just as it would be felt by Carm.

What Carmy needs to realise is that while a brick and mortar institution may fail, what remains are the relationships, the people that he has met because of it (shout out to Chef Terry and her speech in 3x10 Forever, also shout out to Mikey and his chat with Tina in 3x06 Napkins). And if there are people - if there are relationships - there's always the chance to build another future together, again.

Conclusion (yep, I'm almost done)

I think about how whether he likes it or not, Carmy was able to pursue his passion in cooking because of his family’s racial (and class) privilege, particularly as a member of a community that was invited to join in the spoils of white supremacy. This privilege was most clearly embodied by the fact that the Berzattos had the means to own The Beef and the culinary opportunities for Carmy that flowed from that work and experience (contrast this with Sydney, Marcus and Tina's experiences in entering this field, which I've discussed here and which @freedelusionshere discusses here).

I think about how Carmy subverted and used that privilege to bring along the original crew of The Beef with him to The Bear, lifting up his largely BIPOC employees. And then I think about how he ran roughshod over them in order to try and meet the insane expectations he'd set for himself (in large part, as a result of his family's history).

I think about the safety net that Carmy had with Natalie and Mikey who were there to take care of The Beef, their family and their unwell mother, giving Carmy the room to find himself professionally. I think about Mikey leaving behind a restaurant for Carmy but also leaving behind an entire family for him too.

I think about Carmy not realising that while The Beef was a burden in some ways, it was a blessing in so many others.

I think about the clear intergenerational trauma that Carmy is contending with while trying to balance so many perceived, competing demands.

I also think about Donna's dream, the night she went into labour with Natalie:

In this nothing dream, I mean nothing dream. And it wasn't Chicago, and it wasn't New York. It was some sort of hybrid city, you know? And there was a fish tank. Big fish tank in the middle of the city. It was this giant fish tank, and I was the only one looking at it.

[...]

And I remember the colours were, they were so sharp and vivid and neon, you know, and I was the only one looking at it.

[...]

I was just staring at it for the longest time. And all of a sudden, I noticed that the glass started to come apart like it was gonna split. But I wasn't worried, you know? It wasn't bad, because I knew that more people were gonna get to see these beautiful fish.

And then I woke up, and I was sweating, and my water had broke.

When Donna had her children, she had no idea that she would lose her eldest child to suicide. She likely had no idea how far she was going to push her daughter away from her due to her abuse, and she most certainly did not know that her youngest would cease contact with her for years while becoming a renowned chef. None of us parents know for certain how things are going to turn out for our children, or for our relationships with them.

We can only hope, and do our best: do our best to break harmful cycles while trying to nurture children who will leave the world a better place than it was when when they arrived. And if our kids manage to do this not because of us but in spite of us, in spite of our slip ups and mistakes, in spite of our baggage, then honestly, we should be even prouder of them. Because it meant they were able to integrate our trauma, our histories, and their trauma, and their histories, all of it, and make something beautiful, something better.

And I think I can see why Donna wasn't worried when the fish tank started to crack. I get why she was so happy that more people were going to get to see her beautiful children and the world they were going to create, in spite of everything and because of everything.

As usual, tagging folks who might be interested (absolutely no pressure to read this fucking long ass thing though), but keen to hear from anyone who wants to discuss:

@currymanganese @thoughtfulchaos773 @moodyeucalyptus @vacationship @mitocamdria @brokenwinebox @espumado @tvfantic87 @turbulenthandholding @anxietycroissant @angelica4equity @devisrina @kdbleu @freedelusionshere @ambeauty @afrofairysblog @fresaton @hwere @ciaomarie @ambeauty

[stagefoureddiediaz]

I’m away from home without full internet access so I can’t go into a full spiral about this latest buck outfit, but I have thoughts and I have parallels pinging around in my brain like the cards used to do at the end of a game of solitaire on the computer 😂

So here is a very brief meta that I will come back to when I am able! @bewitchedbewilderedbisexual I hope this ties in nicely with my post on buck in navy for you 😎

I’m still super fascinated by the choice of loose fit for Buck, because this outfit is ill fitting as well -the trousers especially, and not in an ‘intentional loose fit’ way - the jeans are too long by about an inch (which is why we see the odd bunch in at the ankle) and they are too loose around the hip and thigh (the section below the waist band). The jacket also doesn’t fit quite right - it’s a little too long in the sleeve and across the shoulder. It’s all very reminiscent of the fit we saw on buck in season 1 and that is super interesting to me considering the number of parallels we have been seeing between Abby and Tommy. This idea that Buck is searching for something - a way to fit in his own skin - something Buck was closest to doing in 2b-the end of s3 - when his clothes fit him the best. We saw the shrinking come into play in s4 and continue through s5 and 6 and then we saw a brief period of well fitting clothes post 7x04 - when he has realised he’s bi - only for them to start to fit poorly again from 7x05 onwards - suggesting that Buck is once more not fully comfortable in his skin and that we’re getting a parallel of his journey through s1 rather than s5/6.

We have buck in a white tee - and we all know what that means - danger ahead for Buck!

We also have the new white trainers - so the scenes this outfit is for will be about Buck and his journey - his new journey as he has new trainers (the old ones were connected to his bi journey - now he’s figured that out, we’re onto the next journey!)

Then we have a navy blue jacket - Buck tends to wear navy in connection with his relationships, most notibly his romantic relationships, but by no means exclusively (he wears navy shorts in connection with key moments in his relationship with Eddie - the fox house dinner in 5x11 and when Chris leaves in 7x10 most notably). All the moments he’s wearing navy blue connect into the breakdown of those relationships - we saw him wearing it a lot with Taylor, especially in scenes where their relationship was in not great places - when nails were being added to the coffin as it were- but we also see him wear navy when his relationship with Eddie falters, and with his parents,even his relationship with Bobby is connected to navy blue (law suit anyone!)

Then there are the khaki trousers - we just don’t see Buck in khaki very often - it’s just not a colour he wears - especially not in trouser form - he is nearly always in black, navy or grey trousers. So this is significant - he wore khaki trousers twice in season 1 - both scenes very much connected with Abby and Buck and Abby’s relationship. The first is imo the most significant - in 1x05 - when he helps Abby look for her mom - the first time they meet in person and Buck essentially commits to trying to date her - to pursuing a ‘grown up’ longer term relationship. That a parental issue is central to this is and the outfit most closely resembles this new one is what I’m most fascinated by. It connects the concept of this new outfit having something related to a parental issue and the fact Buck has th website trainers on means it’s a parental relationship of his not someone else’s that’s the centre of it - the scenes will be about Buck not someone else.

The second scene in s1 is from episode 7 - it’s when Buck and Abby have sex for the first time, but he wears a black tee rather than a white one and this ties it in with the next time we see him in khaki trousers in 2x06 - when he, Chim and Eddie are helping Maddie move into her new appartment - the ‘he’s cute’ ‘you should meet his kid’ scene.

The scene from 2x06 is interesting because it lays the foundation work for Chim and Maddie’s future relationship, at the same time as paralleling Chim and Eddie and Maddie and Buck. Maddie is still technically in a relationship at this point as she is still married to Doug, yet the foundation stones of madney are being laid. In the same vein - Buck is still technically in a relationship with Abby (well he believes he is!) and we see further foundation stones being laid for Buck and Eddie’s relationship. That the show is fairly loudly doing this in parallel is telling!

The only other time we’ve seen buck not wearing blue black or grey trousers is in his coma dream when we had the tan corduroy trousers. And while I think we might have a slight connection there - in that they play into the idea of some kind of internal struggle for buck - I don’t think it’s necessarily relevant here!

I know that the parallel with this outfit of Eddie’s hs already been floated

And it’s totally relevant in my opinion. Eddie setting off for Texas and setting up dealing with/confronting his daddy issues - whilst Eddie has no intention of addressing his issues in Texas he does end up dealing with at least a portion of them - specifically the ones around his dad. We see the outcome of that in season 6 when we are shown the improving relationship between them.

This feels especially relevant after the date night daddy issues scene between Buck and Tommy last season - one that very much felt like a set up for season 8 and buck addressing his parental relationships - something I think may well have been explored in season 7 if Annalise had been available for season 7 - as we would very likely have had Eddie with his queer arc and buck exploring his issues around abandonment and death (more in this in a minute).

There are actually two other Buck costumes which I think are far far more relevant when it comes to the meaning of this new outfit - this one from a flashback in Buck Begins

And this one from outside looking in

Both are white tee/hoodie with a navy jacket! The first is essentially Buck ‘breaking up’ with his parents and the second essentially marks the end of his relationship with Taylor (even if it’s a very long and drawn out end!) - the moment that his unhappiness (even if he’s burying it and not actually able to recognise that he’s unhappy in it) with the reltionship becomes truly apparent to us the audience. (The fact that LAFD bomber along with a hoodie is also worn in the scene when he goes to see Tommy is also key - it parallels the two scenes - placing Tommy in a sort of parallel with Lucy - as a disruptor of the status quo (in not even going to get into the fact that Eddie is key in both of these scenes - that while Lucy is a disruptor of BuckTaylor, she is much more a disruptor of Buck and Eddie!))

Both of these play into an overarching theme with Buck - especially in light of this outfit we’ve also seen for this season

Because this one also matches with an outfit from Buck begins - the one where he is planning to leave with Maddie but she hides and he ends up leaving without her. (I don’t have access to my stills from that episode at the moment but I’ll add it in later on when I do!) the greyish khaki parallelspeaks of Bucks issues around abandonment - the feeling of being abandoned by both his parents and Maddie (remember this is Bucks feelings in that moment - he is a flawed narrator and didn’t have all the facts- it is not the reality that Maddie abandoned him - she was protecting him and herself so we are not hiding her in any way) and him setting out on his adventure that ends up in L.A. and at the 118.

So this new outfit is very likely going to play into that concept - and the two new outfits taken together suggests to me that we are very likely going to see that aspect of Bucks journey explored this season - it’s an aspect of his character that lead to him clinging to first Abby and then Taylor - it’s no mistake that Taylor’s return to the show comes so soon after we see Buck begins - Bucks abandonment issues have been brought back into the spotlight and are raw when she reappears and becomes his girlfriend.

So I’m expecting to be seeing Buck doing a fair chunk of figuring himself out and dealing with his issues around abandonment in this season and in whatever both of these scenes end up looking like/ being about. This will very likely tie into his romantic relationship as much as his parental/familial ones and while I don’t think either outfit marks a BuckTommy break up, I very much expect them to play into that relationship failing - like the ones we saw leading to the ultimate destruction and end of Bucks relationship with Taylor (the dinner at the diaz house scene and then the Buck Lucy kiss scene) specifically.

I’m excited to see how this all plays out!

[darylscigarettesmoke]

Notes on 2x06 (and two rants)

- Laurents guitar is horribly out of tune but the scene was cutie patootie but I still got the ick. It would’ve been better if they’d just let Louis sing the song alone (like originally intended)

- Laurent is gonna be Ash’s new son. It makes the utmost sense to me. He leaves without a son and falls for Carol’s lie and comes back with a son to look after, it’s the perfect conclusion to Ash’s arc. (I have a blog post of that on here). “I don’t think he likes me” foreshadowing “You came here to save a kid, you still can” foreshadowing. The way Ash and Laurent are in the plane together? They way Ash explains to Laurent how the plane works, leaving them to joke around in the cockpit? Foreshadowing. Daryl literally says “they’re good together.” Daryl’s probably never gonna be Laurent’s “Dad” in my opinion. Now this could mean two problematic things: 1) Daryl’s entire arc in season 1 and 2 of his own spin-off comes without a reward, a resolution, a reason. If I’m right and Ash bonds deeply with Laurent while Daryl’s away, everything the viewer and Daryl had to go through don’t mean crap anymore. The entire french arc, the kiss, the controversy that the season is for many fans would be for nothing. Or 2) they spin it like Laurent’s the only reason Daryl has now to even go back to America. Because apparently he didn’t have enough before Laurent took of to the Commonwealth. Right? RIGHT? It’s not like he had people there who dearly miss him. Kind of insulting if you ask me. No big hopes on that front for season 3.

- the biggest ick I still have is that Laurent is written like the all knowing, deep emotionally matured messiah, bro is 14 ?? why do they make him talk like that

- the season doesn’t have enough gore. It lacks the TWD-feeling. Everything looks so clean and polished.

- CROSSBOW RETURN AY HE FINALLY LOOKS LIKE DARYL AGAIN

- Carol crossed an ocean for Daryl just so for him to want and send her straight back home while he offers to stay behind okay Daryl. Carol, Ash and Laurent would make a cute family

- On the bright side is Daryl’s sadness, so to speak. He sees how the entire life he started to want for himself is getting ripped away from under his fingers. Looking at the entire plot like this, it makes actually sense, the way he behaved. He figured his happy ending consists of a stereotypical family, a wife/girlfriend and a son. In my opinion, he was more in love with the idea of that, settling down, than necessarily the people (a recent interview with Norman Reedus confirms the suspicion). But I think, because he realized that this might be something he needs/wants, is the next person he gets involved with purely out of convenience? Or does he accept that having a family of his own might not be in the cards for him? It’s okay, baby boy. Maybe that life just isn’t for you.

- so cool to see the fricking euro tunnel as an european

- daryl sees gasmasks and walks into the tunnel like what’s the worst that could happen right? Meanwhile Carol strolls off to find pennywise i mean sophia

- horror effekts look so cool in this ep. The glowing walkers really are the shit.

- daryl “chokehold’s illegal” dixon is back

- Carol is more alone than ever in this season and it breaks my heart

- Daryl having a vision of Isabelle will never not be icky why is she leaning over him like that get off of him?

- Zabel cutting the “if you see Glenn, Beth and Merle, tell them I did my best”-scene from the leaked script was the biggest mistake of the entire season. That scene was so important for who Daryl is as a person, struggling with survivor’s guilt and trauma, and good old Zabel reduced the scene to a stereotypical “dead gf gives male hero hope to keep going” with no emotional resolution or development for Daryl’s character. Zabel really is one of the worst showrunners I’ve seen (for a story like Daryl’s, I haven’t seen anything else from him) who absolutely lacks the comprehension of his main characters and what is important for their development to sell a love story that was doomed from the start and doesn’t even bother to try and dive into what makes his character drive and how they’re wired. Sorry if I ever spoke badly about Benioff and Weiss for the last Game of Thrones seasons because Zabel really takes the cake.

- “where is codron?” “He ran off” and that is a wrap on the french cast, bye fuckers

- “you can’t always get what you want” Daryl didn’t get what he wanted - to get home quick. But he got what he needed, - a means to endure his time abroad, something to care for, something to fight for. Just like the Rolling Stone song says. Now it’s time for the next adventure.

WELL THAT’s a wRAP ❤️

That being said, Norman acted beautifully with what he was given and even though I heavily criticized the season I’ll never get tired of seeing him as Daryl. The guy owns my heart.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

04/04/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys/Rosie/Theo; Kristian Nairn; Nathan Foad; Jes Tom; Samba Schutte; Dominic Burgess; Watch parties; Glaad Awards Reminder; SaveOFMDCrew's Final Charity Donations; Fan Spotlight; Cast Cards; Big Gay Energy Podcast; OFMD Sightings; Articles; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika

Hey all! Sorry for the late recap again, as a heads up I'm doing late night work for my day job (sometimes 8pm - 1 am) and also still trying to get my taxes done by the 15th, so the recaps may be delayed til the following morning depending on how late I have to work.

= Rhys & Rosie =

Rhys and Rosie's bday happened in AoNZ and some friends snapped some cute pics and videos!

Src: H.Miller's IG

Sneaky Rhys arm today! The Darby Family Influencer Era seems to be in full swing!

Edit: I felt kinda weird plastering Theo's face up so I left in Rhys' arm since people keep asking for it, lol

Src: Rosie's IG Stories

= Nathan Foad =

Src: Kennett Tanner's IG Nathan was also interviewed by British Comedy Guide!

= Dominic Burgess =

Our Jeffrey Fettering was interviewed by Variety! Check it out here! Src: Dominic's Twitter

= Kristian Nairn =

Kristian sent us some love notes!

"Looking forward to all the work / travel / meeting you guys stuff coming up this year. Have a good day y’all !!" SRC: Kristian's IG

= Samba Schutte =

Samba being a goofball Src: Samba's IG Stories

= Jes Tom =

Some sightings of Jes Tom! On their instagram! SRC: Jes Tom's IG Stories

== Watch Parties ==

Taskmaster NZ Series 1 Watch Party with @saveofmdcrewmates! When: April 3-12 (W,F, Su - 2 eps each) Time: 11 am PT/ 2pm ET/ 7pm BST Where to watch: YouTube, TVNZ, Channel 4

Twitter Hashtags:

#Quartermaster

#OurFlagMeansDeath

#Taskmaster

== GLAAD Awards ==

Apparently you can vote multiple times with the same email on the GLAAD awards! To vote: https://t.co/dEfZMncBfO Src: @adoptourcrew Twitter

== Save OFMD Crew Final Charity Donation Results ==

$1000 GBP to @Mermaids_Gender (UK) mermaidsuk.org.uk

$2,028 NZD to RainbowYouth (AoNZ) ry.org.nz

$1216 USD to Point Foundation (US) pointfoundation.org

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Our dear @melvisik spotlighted King George I today! Angus Sampson did such an excellent job making the kind unhinged! Check him out in his other work!

= Big Gay Energy Podcast =

New reaction video to Calypso's Birthday!

== Other ==

Thank you @oluwandesorange on twitter for pointing out the the OFMD billboards are STILL UP

== Articles ==

“I’m Scared”: Why It’s a Brutal Time to Be a TV Writer

Coyote versus Warner Bros: The fight to get a movie released

Hulu Just Canceled Another Show After One Season, And I'm Getting Really Tired Of It

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies! The week is almost over! Was it busy for you? Have you been hanging in there? I do want to know! I think about you all every day, even when I'm busy with work.

I know you've heard it all before, but please take some time to practice some self care today. It's been a long week for a lot of folks and you've been through the ringer from various life events. Please drink some water, grab a snack, stick your nose out the window (weather permitting) and take a deep breath of fresh air.

The weekend is coming, and the more self care you practice, the easier things will be. Ebbs and Flows babe, everything ebbs and flows, and sometimes we get longer ebbs, and longer flows -- but we can brave them better if we take care of ourselves.

You deserve to be taken care of. You deserve a break.

Love you crew, reach out if you wanna talk ok?

Pic Src: @gladyourehereco on IG

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Today's theme is these two goofballs expressive eyebrows.

Daily Darby: Courtesy of @ thunderwingdoomslayer

Today's Taika: Courtesy of @neverswungonswingingstars

[helaenadream]

daemon and nyra become canonical swingers was not on my 2x06 bingo card but in hindsight im not sure why i left it off

[blacklister214]

The Slow Shift of Eliza's Feelings Toward Patrick

2x04: Angel of Inferno. Enemy. Patrick immediately gets under her skin, so much so that she literally says that losing to him would be worse than somebody dying. She loathes him, reasonably so, because he seems like one more man determined to stand in the way of her business. Also he gets her thrown in jail, and tries to steal her evidence.

He throws her further through a loop when she beats him at his own game and he shows up at her house with a smile on his face. She genuinely doesn't know what to make of him. Then she thinks he's threatening her friends and she is ready to throw down.

2x06: Frenemy. First step was Patrick hiring her to work his case. I don't think she really took his flattery sincerely until this moment. She assumes he wants her for the novelty of the "lady detective." This is big show of faith, especially for a man who runs his own agency.

The next big moment is when the way Patrick reacts to the results of the case. Even though she got him shot, he don't yell at her, and neither does he take back the money. Further more he thanks her for coming to see him, even though he's perfectly aware she had to to give him the results. Because of these reactions he moves into the frenemy tier. She offers him her opinion on his cane choice, which at the beginning of the episode she wouldn't have bothered with.

3x03: Friend. My favorite because this the beginning of their personal relationship, though the first jump was to ally of convenience which Patrick earns by listening to Eliza, conceding to her point and acquiescing to her plan. As the evening wears on she slowly drops the convenience part. She opens up with a little about her childhood and plays a game with him. She doesn't reproach him for his mistake with Malone, but immediately admits her own error and is ready to move on, until she find out he lied to her. Big moment here, because this time his lie HURT. She is furious in a way she's never been, because she'd allowed herself to begin to trust him. She's so mad that when he does open up in apology/explanation, she is unwilling to listen. Finally the major moment: He helps her out of her restraints, rather than leaving her there. She knows Patrick really did share the most painful moment of his life with her. That's why the breakfast and "Patrick" becomes a thing.

3x06: Employer. Why does she accept his offer? Patrick raced over to tell her about the bomb and checked himself to see if it was dangerous. He listened to her about taking the case to Wellington. He also helps tidy her office as he speaks to her without being asked. He accept her direction on the joint task force for without comment. Finally he proves how much he gets her. Business cards in a box, desire to make things possible for other women, and he already put her name on the door.

4x04: Partner: Shares ideas. Listens to him. Why? Because he doesn't give up on her, even though he is angry. Because he is able to push past mistakes and focus on the problems at hand.

4x05: Mentor. Evidenced by Eliza listening to Patrick about Phelps and honoring the deal. Why? Because he doesn't throw her under the bus with Bracewell. Because she can see Patrick being effective in a way she is not when he gets them into the crime scene. Because she can see his argument has merit, even when it sticks in her craw.

4x06: Ride or Die. Eliza is conflicted about Patrick's announcement he's going back to Paris. She's pleased at the show of faith, but still its not a purely celebratory look on her face. She agrees to spend her free time with him, doing something outside her comfort zone. Eliza never doubts his innocence in the stabbing, refuses to stay out of his trouble, and when she realizes the truth, she quite literally bets her life on his character.

All told, that's quite a bit of progress. Unlike William and Eliza who go from "Person I am UNWILLING to admit to being romantically interested in, but also drives me crazy to Person I am WILLING to admit I am romantically interested in, but also drives me crazy."

[jellybeanium124]

so theoretically ofmd s2 takes place in like, late december 1717? imagine if it was christmas themed lmao

~~~

2x01: Ed: Get suited up, we have a record to break! Fang: But Blackbeard, it's Christmas. Ed: It's December 10th!

~~~

2x02: Stede: Zheng! Can I borrow one of your messenger birds to mail my Christmas cards? Zheng: What? Bonnet? No, you may not use my messenger birds to mail your fucking Christmas cards. Stede: But I didn't get a chance to mail them before we were hired... 🥺

~~~

2x05: Lucius: EAT MY FUCKING SHIT BLACKBEARD! Ed: Do you feel better Lucius?? Can you have a merry Christmas now? Lucius??

~~~

2x06: Izzy: 🎶 Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? In the lane, snow is glistening. A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland 🎶

~~~

2x07: Stede: Really? You're going to stab me in the back right in front of me? That's not very in the spirit of the season of you, Zheng. Zheng: Bonnet, I don't celebrate Christmas...

~~~

Other things:

Frenchie, Jim, Archie, Fang, and Izzy all wearing santa hats while eating that bird in 2x03

2x04 becomes an awkward holiday party. Mary or Anne could get tied up in a garland

2x06 becomes an office holiday party. Imagine Stede yelling "You completely ruined Christmas!!" with tears in his eyes to Ned lol. And they could even repeat the "December 10th" joke and make it into a running gag with Ned being like "Stede, it's December 19th" or something lmao

The 2x08 plan thing set to a really badass version of "carol of the bells"

[allamericansbitch]

Hi everyone! Here’s the newest addition to my Creator Shoutout Series (april 30  - may 15)! For info about the series, I explained it in the first post here, but generally, it’s to show appreciate to editors and their creations that i love from the past week. This shoutout is double the posts than usual, combining the last 2 weeks I missed due to my busy schedule. To track this series or look at previous shoutouts, please check out the tag on my blog *creatorshoutouts. Have a great week everyone!

taylor swift: eras tour - tampa gifset by @newromantics

boygenius graphic by @beethatasitmay

40 years of disney channel gifset by @hunterwillow

taylor swift: invisible string graphic by @sparksflys

succession: roman and gerri gifset by @sdktrs12

yellowjackets: shauna and jackie gifset by @buttercupbuck

taylor swift: fantasy archetypes in taylor swifts discography gifset by @reputayswift

succession: kendall roy + water gifset by @stewy

narcos: javier pena in every episode gifset by @thozaoaks

scream 6: music in film gifset by @madeline-kahn

taylor swift: hits different graphic by @cellphonehippie

the bear: carmen berzatto braciole gifset by @emziess

scream 6: jason carvey gifset by @felixcarlucci​

taylor swift: hits different graphic by @youareinl0ve

the last of us: 1x03 gifset by @kitherondale

stranger things: steve harrington in every season gifset by @eddie-dustin

taylor swift: mastermind gifset by @paintedtaygolden

gilmore girls: jess + texts posts gifset by @maliagf

the good place: eleanor gifset by @katherineebishop​

taylor swift: the eras tour graphic by @comingeasily

the last of us: joel and ellie gifset by @vhagar-apologist

aftersun gifset by @vera-kozhemiakina​

taylor swift: coney island graphic by @mymagician

paramore: uk + irleand spring tour gifset by @userparamore

taylor swift: my tears ricochet graphic by @bymine

scream 6: tara carpenter gifset by @thebabysitter

succession: shiv roy art by @seancefemme​

taylor swift: folklore eras tour card art by @sparksflys​

succession: shiv and tom gifset by @kenshivrome​

heartstopper: charlie and nick gifset by @swearphil

taylor swift: champagne problems graphic by @cruellesummer

yellowjackets: 2x06 + text posts gifset by @yellenabelova

ethel cain: preachers daughter anniversary gifset by @userparamore

taylor swift: speak now (taylor’s version) gifset by @tayloralison

stranger things: 3x04 gifset by @userspree

succession: shiv and tom gifset by @sdktrs12

taylor swift: taylor’s versions loading gifset by @kitconnor

schitt’s creek: david rose gifset by @swearphil

scream 6: sam carpenter gifset by @usergirlfailure

taylor swift: speak now (taylor’s version) edit by @thehoax

gilmore girls: jess and rory gifset by @lorelaigilmo

yellowjackets: 1x01 gifset by @kat-graham

taylor swift: how you get the girl graphic by @mymagician

scream 6 gifset by @buzzcutseascn

smart objects gifset by @peeta​

ready or not gifset by @alisonsargent

taylor swift: drama queen gifset by @userspeaknowtv

succession: shiv and tom gifset by @usershiv

scream gifset by @sulietsexual

taylor swift: you’re on your own kid graphic by @swiftiebuckleys

yellowjackets: 2x07 gifset by @thesoldiersminute

the nice guys gifset by @gresit

scream 6 gifset by @killingsboys​

taylor swift: speak now tour gifset by @comeinwiththerain

succession: 4x06 + text posts gifset by @romanoy

scream gifset by @avacolemn

taylor swift icons by @tylrgalpins

yellowjackets: shauna and jackie gifset by @mickbetsch

scream 6: chad meeks gifset by @gettingscrazy

taylor swift: speak now (taylor’s version) gifset by @rogerhealey

stranger things gifset by @hellshee

scream 6: tara carpenter gifset by @myrcella-lannister

taylor swift: anti-hero graphic by @comingeasily

pheobe bridgers: garden song graphic by @aaarondessner

taylor swift gifset by @loversmore​​

halsey: forever... is a long time graphic by @aaarondessner

severance: season one gifset by @chaoticevils​

taylor swift: speak now (taylor’s version) graphic by @lavenderhazes​

stranger things: robin gifset by @lesbianrobin​​​​

yellowjackets: taissa and vane gifset by @taiturner

succession: kendall roy gifset by @kenshivrome

taylor swift: speak now (taylor’s verision) graphic by @aaarondessner​​​

[mlobsters]

supernatural s1e8 bugs (rachel nave, bill coakley)

(this is a rewatch, so spoilers abound)

i haven't been avoiding bugs, i just have been avoiding listening to myself talk about this show. i'm tired, you're tired, etc. so obviously the effects are terrible in this one, and when i watched it the first time i fast forwarded through the climactic bug scene because it took forever. however, i do remember good bro talks

TRAVIS Man, these are some phat houses, huh? I'd like to live here.

were random white people saying phat in 2005? haha

xfiles noise as man falls into pit to get killed by bugs, very appropriate. also, i really do not like bugs as a horror trope in general, i struggle with being chill about bugs in real life. the xf ep with cockroaches? a good funny episode but *shudder*

SAM You know, we could get day jobs once in a while. DEAN Hunting's our day job. And the pay is crap. SAM Yeah, but hustling pool? Credit card scams? It's not the most honest thing in the world, Dean. DEAN Well, let's see: honest, fun and easy. It's no contest.

something endearing about sam just lounging on the impala while dean's inside hustling. also feeling soft because of this good but too-sad (for my current emotional state) stanford era story i was reading

find it kind of funny they're having sam be a scold about how they make money (but also that big smile after dean's answer, i don't think sammy's too pressed.) i can't imagine trying to scrounge up living expenses with day jobs in their nomadic lifestyle, especially with the amount they have to spend on gas

DEAN Besides, we're good at it. It's what we were raised to do. SAM Yeah, well, how we were raised was jacked. DEAN Yeah, says you.

totally jacked and you're gonna be changing your tune sooner rather than later too, dean

oh right, i made some gifs from this episode too. this was a... hmm. well. it was something. dean went on a slight masculinity panic face journey. i don't think sam was being a jerk about it really (? maybe i'm biased at this point) i think he was just genuinely surprised, not mocking. something something dean felt fine bringing it up but mildly freaked out when sam didn't acknowledge in a way that he would have seen it too. and how would dean have reacted if the situation was reversed and sam made the oprah reference? file that under my newly minted spn and masculinity tag i guess (with the comment about sam's "fancy" coffee drink in 1x07)

so i was like i'll add when dean calls sam samantha but like. i searched the transcripts (only searches transcripts on superwiki via google) and only crowley calls him that. has that just been fully absorbed into fanon? whew. the hazards of fic sometimes lol. bobby calls dean princess when he's scolding him in 4x22, rando bartender in 3x04 calls sam princess when he turns down a drink, and jo calls dean princess in 2x06 after he slept badly on a couch or chair while working that apartment job together. huh. interesting. dean calls him frances in that 1x07 instance.

what did i say about being tired of listening to myself talk about this show?

hoo boy, can tell this is a jay gruska music episode. eyes rolling back in my head. he has a gift for annoying me personally with his musical stylings

DEAN All right, I'll go if you're scared. You scared? SAM Flip the damn coin. DEAN All right, call it in the air... chicken. He flips the coin, and SAM catches it in midair. SAM I'm going.

10/10 sibling bickering

DEAN I know a good place to start. I'm kinda hungry for a little barbeque, how 'bout you? What, we can't talk to the locals? SAM And the free food's got nothin' to do with it? DEAN Of course not. I'm a professional.

again with the good banter/bicker

DEAN Growin' up in a place like this would freak me out. SAM Why? DEAN Well, manicured lawns, "How was your day, honey?" I'd blow my brains out. SAM There's nothing wrong with "normal". DEAN I'd take our family over normal any day.

s2e20 what is and what should never be

sure, dean

the x-files s1e5 the jersey devil - andrew airlie as rob / the killing s2e3 as dr madigan

well, we're brothers moment guy has been in a couple of my shows (and he pops up in 15x04 but i didn't hiky him) including being gillybean's date in the xf jersey devil ep!!

as a one-off thing, someone assuming they're a couple, it's kind of whatever. skirting around straight up homophobic joke. but they (the show) make it weird by doing it more than one episode. anyway, i hadn't paid that much attention and didn't realize sam laughed and dean got vaguely indignant

not me trying to figure out when dean switches to the logger boots. i know sam is in sneakers for a fairly long time (like that bad luck at black rock where he loses a shoe, still). good for running around but not great protection

could dean's face get any more scrunched up before he decides to go with it. and sam's amused until he gets his ass smacked (course j2 smack each other all the time at cons, but i guess sam doesn't subscribe to the platonic bro butt smack)

(also whew that's some harsh makeup on this sales person. i get it's part of the personality they're trying to go for but it's A Lot)

LYNDA Who can say "no" to a steam shower? I use mine everyday.

read an article trying to figure out why people would like a steam shower and the long not specific reason was, repeatedly, "wellness." ok

MATT You gonna tell my dad? SAM I don't know. Who's your dad? MATT Yeah, Larry usually skips me in the family introductions. SAM Ouch. First name basis with the old man - sounds pretty grim. MATT Well, I'm not exactly brochure material. SAM Well, hang in there. It gets better, all right? I promise. MATT When?

got our sam-parallel character here. and sammy's not brochure material because he wanted to go to college 😤

SAM Remind you of somebody? Dad? DEAN Dad never treated us like that. SAM Well, Dad never treated you like that. You were perfect. He was all over my case. You don't remember? DEAN Well, maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes, you were out of line. SAM Right. Right, like when I said I'd rather play soccer than learn bowhunting. DEAN Bowhunting's an important skill. SAM Whatever.

i know people have very particular thoughts about john and how he raised them and what bad things he did to them. the show made me hate with him a particular intensity mainly because of the neglect when they were so young, and probably kinda sorta using them as bait. but dean's like well, he yelled sometimes, but it was justified. (all parents yell sometimes.) just the understanding that john was raising them as soldiers vs like, you need to learn to swim because it's an important life skill and i don't wanna.

did you know the ever-resourceful superwiki has a section on the impala page for all the times someone besides dean drives baby?

DEAN Maybe they're being controlled somehow. You know, by something or someone. SAM You mean, like Willard? DEAN Yeah, bugs instead of rats. SAM There are cases of psychic connections between people and animals - elementals, telepaths. DEAN Yeah, that whole Timmy-Lassie thing

but dean doesn't know dick van dyke/mary poppins 🤪 is this gonna be another thing i start tagging...

SAM We're gonna squat in an empty house? DEAN I wanna try the steam shower. Come on. (SAM doesn't move.) Come on!

dean wants some of that Wellness ™️i just can't imagine how sitting in steam would be more enjoyable than a good shower, but i'm not about that wellness life

lol sam smacking him in the gut as he reluctantly pulls in to park the car, had to make gifs of that too 🤪

okay i couldn't forget the terrible effects of the spiders in the shower with the high strung makeup lady, but i did forget that she had a whole big ass spider crawling on her face that she just brushes away, mildly annoyed, beforehand. is this a regular occurrence? no freaking out??

the most copy pasted looking spiders ever 😂

towel for comedic effect 😑 sam has no patience for this nonsense, a lady is dead from BUGS, DEAN

speaking of masculinity...

wiki:

This is the only time we see the boys with umbrellas in the rain. Kripke explained why in a Tweet:

"Kim Manners directed X-Files, where they often had umbrellas, so figured it was fine. I called him, said "the boys aren't scared of demons, but they're scared of rain?" From that point forward, a hard rule: no umbrellas. Not easy for Vancouver."(source)

matt is samandriel in s8 who i did a hiky for because he was in the killing too

MATT Believe me, I've tried. But, uh, Larry doesn't listen to me. SAM Why not? MATT Mostly? He's too disappointed in his freak son. SAM I hear you. DEAN You do? SAM Matt, how old are you? MATT Sixteen. SAM Well, don't sweat it, because in two years, something great's gonna happen. MATT What? SAM College. You'll be able to get out of that house and away from your dad. DEAN What kind of advice is that? Kid should stick with his family.

said it before and i'll say it again, when the show wants to make a parallel it will hammer it over our heads 😂 sam and dean are just gonna have a little fight over sam going away to college right in front of matt's salad

DEAN Yeah, so with that kid back there... why'd you tell him to just ditch his family like that? SAM Just, uh... I know what the kid's goin' through. DEAN How 'bout tellin' him to respect his old man, how's that for advice? SAM Dean, come on. This isn't about his old man. You think I didn't respect Dad. That's what this is about. DEAN Just forget it, all right? Sorry I brought it up. SAM I respected him. But no matter what I did, it was never good enough. DEAN So what are you sayin'? That Dad was disappointed in you? SAM Was? Is. Always has been. DEAN Why would you think that? SAM Because I didn't wanna bowhunt or hustle pool - because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which, to our whacked-out family, made me the freak. DEAN Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters. SAM Dean, you know what most dads are when their kids score a full ride? Proud. Most dads don't toss their kids out of the house. DEAN I remember that fight. In fact, I seem to recall a few choice phrases comin' out of your mouth. SAM You know, truth is, when we finally do find Dad... I don't know if he's even gonna wanna see me. DEAN Sam, Dad was never disappointed in you. Never. He was scared. SAM What are you talkin' about? DEAN He was afraid of what could've happened to you if he wasn't around. But even when you two weren't talkin'... he used to swing by Stanford whenever he could. (SAM'S smirk fades.) Keep an eye on you. Make sure you were safe. SAM What? DEAN Yeah. SAM Why didn't you tell me any of that? DEAN Well, it's a two-way street, dude. You could've picked up the phone.

so this is the conversation that i think stuck out to me even the first time watching - it's obviously the kind of, culmination of all the parallel groundwork to bring up the issue. i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it. the way it's framed, it feels like the show is trying to make us sympathetic to john's side, which is dean's side by proxy. which is nonsense. sam is the kid. john is the adult. it's not sam's job to try to go back and fix what john broke by telling him to never come back. there's this emotional music playing as dean tells us john checked up on him at stanford and like okay, so what? sam was still in the lived experience of being kicked out and cut off by his dad (and the show probably doesn't care but the logistics of having literally nowhere to go over the summer, living expenses not covered by his scholarshop, etc) ugh. and i think i complained to someone about wanting to smack dean because he's sticking up for john, and they mentioned that you know, dean's got his own warehouse full of john shaped issues that make him the ever obedient son at this stage. anyway, i'm not mad at the show or anything. but it definitely gets my defensive feelings fired up on sam's behalf. i also have my own little storage locker full of john shaped issues 🤪

editing 9/8/24 to add that I totally missed the fact that Sam was asking why Dean didn't tell him what was up with John and Dean's saying he could have called - so blinded by my irritation at John I was misunderstanding thinking he was saying Sam should have called John. anyway, I don't think Dean can say much if he didn't contact Sam either. just think like okay, so Sam didn't try but you didn't either Dean? but at the end of the day, I also have a hard time accepting knowing how they are about each other that they could both go cold turkey no contact for 3+ years (1x01 Dean says he hasn't bothered him or asked for anything in nearly 2 years and we know that was a mistake of years # due to aging Sam up a little and not adjusting script.) the conflict of Sam leaving has never (I don't think?) been implied to have animosity between Sam and Dean? so like, Dean was obviously very hurt/upset (see 5x16 "one of the worst nights of my life") but would that be enough to refuse to make contact? I know theyre both stubborn but goddamn.

s1e8 jimmy herman as joe whitetree / the x-files s1e19 as ish

funny, david nutter directed that episode of the xfiles too (he directed the spn pilot and wendigo), he was a kim manners rec (who also worked on xf obviously, and directed this spn ep)

i'm never going to finish this episode and surely gonna hit the 30 image limit

always kind of... nervous when especially the supernatural-ish shows decide to bring in any sort of indigenous lore/plot, but at least this one revolved around fuck the white man colonizers

Eric Kripke often cites this episode as one of his least favorites in the series. When Chuck meets Sam and Dean, he asks them if they had to live through the "bugs". He laments that they were "forced to live bad writing."

well, i think they're heavy handed but overall has groundwork laying character moments for sam and dean. wouldn't argue about the rest though

such a pretty shot. early days really were filled with them

MATT My dad doesn't listen in the best of circumstances, what am I supposed to tell him? SAM You've gotta make him listen, okay? DEAN Give me the phone, give me the phone. (He grabs the phone from SAM.) Matt, under no circumstances are you to tell the truth, they'll just think you're nuts. MATT But he's my-- DEAN Tell him you have a sharp pain in your right side and you've gotta go to the hospital, okay? MATT Yeah. Yeah, okay. He hangs up, and so does DEAN. DEAN Make him listen? What are you thinkin'?

snorted

SAM Look, this land is cursed! People have died here. Now, are you gonna really take that risk with your family?

made me giggle. so earnest. i mean, what can you do, those cheesy lines

dad tells mom to call 911. and tell them what? bugs? what are they gonna do about it?? lol and the bugs chewed through phone and power lines

dead end chemical corp.!! i kind of love that. new blog name??? lol

i think i missed these progressive holes being chewed through the roof in my fast forwarding of this scene 😂

that was the shortest 6-7 hours ever. like, truly nonsensical. and they weren't able to keep the swarms of bees out, yet no one died? haha

looks like a stock photo of a busted roof plastered onto this shot

sammy looking longingly over at matt and his dad reconciling over shared bug trauma...

SAM I wanna find Dad. DEAN Yeah, me too. SAM Yeah, but I just... I want to apologize to him. DEAN For what? SAM All the things I said to him. He was just doin' the best he could.

forgot myself for a second and blurted out, BULL. SHIT. haha. don't let dean get you twisted, dude. if you leave (go to college on a full scholarship), don't come back. IS NOT. DOING. THE BEST. HE COULD. never fucking mind everything else. aaaahhhghgfdsjkksfl LOL what did i say about my john issues. anyway, this isn't the end of that particular friction obviously :p

DEAN Well, don't worry, we'll find him. And then you'll apologize. And then within five minutes, you guys will be at each other's throats. SAM (laughs.) Yeah, probably. (They sit in silence for a few seconds.) Let's hit the road. DEAN Let's.

that is more like it :p it is a miracle i shut up long enough to finally finish this episode! too much going on

[markantonys]

i remember at the end of 2x05, readers were going "show-onlys don't think it's too big of a deal that egwene was captured and aren't worried about her being able to escape, so obviously the show didn't do a good job of showing how bad it is to be damane" and then 2x06 immediately came in and proved their worries wrong, and proved to show-onlys how bad it is to be damane.

i imagine the same thing will happen with how bad it is to be the dragon reborn, and it's because the show wants to show, not tell. it could've chosen to stuff seasons 1&2 full of characters talking about how much they hate/fear the dragon as a hypothetical entity or about how destructive a bunch of past false dragons were, but it's more impactful to wait until rand is publicly the dragon and they can just show us firsthand with him. even as it is, the first 2 seasons have had plentiful setup for this theme, the show just hasn't dug deep into yet because it hasn't been the right time. and they also had plentiful dialogue establishing that "dragon=bad news", so if that didn't stick for some show-onlys, then it's because it's more impactful to be shown something than told it and there hasn't yet been opportunity to show it. (and keyword SOME - i know that i as a show-only was fully aware by the end of s1 that the dragon is an apocalyptic figure, not a heroic chosen one, and that rand was not gonna have a good time as the dragon, even if i didn't know the specifics that emerge later in the story. so the groundwork IS there, for sure!)

and timewise, i think this is 100% in keeping with the books. iirc the various "weep for your salvation"-type prophecies were barely addressed at all until book 4 and later, and i'm almost certain that the "blood on the rocks of shayol ghul" prophecy wasn't brought up until book 4. so by the end of book 3, we don't know a whole lot about what the dragon is fated to do and we definitely don't know that he's got a "dying to save the world" death sentence. and i'm a bit puzzled by worries that s2 only showed rand's and others' reactions to Rand As Male Channeler and not also to Rand As Dragon because............that's exactly what happened in the books too. TGH was all about Rand As Male Channeler only, even if the idea that he could be the dragon was floating vaguely in the back of his and his friends' minds, and it wasn't until TDR that he and others began processing Rand As Dragon. even then, it wasn't until TSR that "sucks to be the chosen one" became a heavy-hitter as a theme and that we really got to see a lot of rand himself processing being the dragon, since his pov time in TDR was so limited and in TGH he was in denial for almost the whole book.

sure, at a point you have to stop saying "well i'm sure the show will get to it Eventually" about everything, but the "sucks to be the chosen one" theme wasn't big in books 1-3 and so i wouldn't have expected it to be big in s1-2. i don't think it's at all unreasonable to play the "it'll probably be in a later season" card here. and in general, rafe is on record saying s3 will be a big one for rand! so hopefully all those feeling unsatisfied with his s1-2 content will be happy with s3. (and in my opinion rand really doesn't start to come into his own as a character until book 4 and in books 1-3 he's quite a passive character - and fairly bland, much as i love him - whose development arc resets once or twice as RJ kept rejigging his plans for the series, so i personally am more than content with rand's s1-2 stuff and don't feel his characterization or development is lagging behind where it was at this point in the books.)

I do wonder when they're gonna get into "you do not want to be the chosen one" aspect. Cause yes they have shown the madness and what the Aes Sedai want to do to him but we do still have some show onlies thinking being the Dragon is a good heroic figure? Guess I'm just waiting for the shoe to drop in the show where they're like "actually this is more like finding out you're the antichrist."

[whenmemorydies]

The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card: Part 2 (Timing)

A couple weeks ago, I posted a prediction on the significance of the hair claw, the scrunchie and the prayer card that appear in Carmy's apartment in season 3. In that analysis, I suggested that these items represent three particular characters on the show and Carmy's relationships with them (FYI: the hair claw = Natalie, the scrunchie = Sydney and the prayer card = Richie). We see the scrunchie and the prayer card together at the end of 3x09 Apologies, placed in the same spot in Carmy's apartment. The first and last time we see the hair claw however, is in 3x01 Tomorrow, the first episode of the season.

In their reblog of The Claw, The Scrunchie and The Prayer Card meta, @moodyeucalyptus queried why we didn't see the hair claw with the scrunchie and the prayer card at the end of 3x09. I had my suspicions about this, but it wasn't until recently that I think I've come to a clearer understanding about the separate presentations of these items in season 3 and what the timing of their appearances means, particularly for Carmy's relationship with Nat and with his birth family.

Natalie is haunting Carmy

Or rather, the Berzatto family is haunting Carmy. Let me explain.

We see the hair claw in Carmy's apartment in the first episode of season 3. I think its early appearance in the season is for two reasons:

The first is that the hair claw is a legerdemain, meant to look like a token of Claire's given its appearance in 3x01 in between scenes of Claire at home and at work. I think the purpose of this sleight of hand was to misdirect the viewer's attention to Carmy's love life from the outset and misleadingly establish it as the primary source of his mental anguish this season. As I've noted here, I don't think Claire is the main source of Carmy's anguish.

In fact, it seems pretty clear that Claire herself is a legerdemain: a stand in for Carmy's relationship with The Berzattos. This has been discussed in various places on Tumblr including in this fantastic post by @brokenwinebox contrasting shots of Donna/Donna with Carmy and Claire/Claire with Carmy, as well as in this *chefs kiss* comparison between shots of Claire and the Berzattos done by @currymanganese. I also had a theory where I posited that Claire is a reverse-engineered haunt, maintained by Carmy to keep his brother Mikey in his life, after the latter's death.

We also have this LA Times article in which The Bear's Andrew Wehde (cinematographer) and Joanna Calo (showrunner, executive producer, writer and director) say the following:

All of the above is to say that Claire and her relationship with Carmy seriously appear to be sleights of hand masking the truth of the main source of Carmy's anguish: his birth family.

Which brings us back to the hair claw, which, as I've said here, I believe belongs to Carmy's sister, Natalie Berzatto.

If we are working on the basis that the hair claw belongs to Carmy's sister and not Claire, lets get to the second reason that we see it in 3x01 and not with the scrunchie and prayer card in 3x09.

First, we need to note that Carmy's relationship with the owner of this hair claw - Natalie - is inextricably linked to his relationship with his birth family, the Berzattos. Natalie is his biological sister from that family and she's also the ONLY Berzatto family member that Carmy is seen having any contact with in the present after returning to Chicago to run The Beef in season 1.

Indeed, according to Jamie Lee Curtis, Carmy hasn't seen his mother Donna, the only other surviving member of his immediate family (that we've met on the show) since the events of 2x06 Fishes, approximately 5-6 years ago (given the events in season 3 appear to take place in 2023).

By the time we get to 3x01, Carmy's relationship with the Berzattos (including with Natalie) has had a lifetime of impact on him due, among other things, to an intergenerational history of abuse and trauma. Indeed, right before we see the hair claw in 3x01, we see Carmy staring down at the scar on his hand - a scar that @thoughtfulchaos773 has concluded Carmy got on the day he learned about his brother Mikey's suicide - another visual reminder of Carmy's family and the shadow it casts over his life.

Given the above, I believe the hair claw in the season premiere indicates to us that Carmy is entering season 3 with this familial history playing heavily on his mind. Season 3 also starts on the back of the walk-in fiasco in 2x10 which this reblog thread between myself, @bbythurs and @ambeauty discusses as a representation for Carmy of a broken promise to Sydney and the rest of The Bear crew. In that broken promise, we see an inadvertent repetition by Carmy of the behaviours in his birth family that he hates the most (recall his Al-Anon monologue in 2x03 Sundae where Carmy says his family would fuck up things that gave him amusement and enjoyment, but specifically that they would make promises they weren't able to keep). In this way, season 3 starts with Carmy doing everything he can to undo that broken promise, to undo repeating hurtful familial patterns.

In contrast to the above, Carmy's relationships with Sydney and Richie, while not great at the start of season 3, have not yet reached a boiling point and perhaps are not as front of mind for Carmy. By the time we see the scrunchie and the prayer card at the end of 3x09 however, Syd and Richie's relationships with Carmy have massively deteriorated and are hanging on by a thread. They are definitely occupying his mind by then, explaining why the mementos associated with these two characters are revealed to us at that point in the show.

As always, these are my thoughts and an attempt to apply some logic to a season that, due to its lack of actual dialogue, relies on so much interpretation to muddle our way through. I'm not saying this as a total criticism, because my neurodivergent self loves analysing things like this, but I can see why this season put so many off lol. Its been 1.5 months since I did my first run through of this season and I'm still finding new things I missed during my first watch.

Tagging folks below who might be interested but as always, keen to hear from anyone that wants to chat about this stuff:

@currymanganese @vacationship @moodyeucalyptus @thoughtfulchaos773 @brokenwinebox @espumado @tvfantic87 @ambeauty @bbythurs @mitocamdria @turbulenthandholding @anxietycroissant @angelica4equity @devisrina @kdbleu

My next meta will get into just how The Berzatto family is haunting Carmy in season 3...when I finally get around to finishing it. I'm saying it out loud here to force myself to get it done lol. Stay tuned!

[disco-tea]

Spuffy + ballet AU

I’m sorry, I rotated this in my head for so long but my brain just completely blue screened and the only thing that was in it was a flashing error message that said “he was a punk, she did ballet”

For context this is largely set in 2x06 “Halloween,” they are still very much in their enemies phase but this would be an episode that would allow for some banter. Also I thought this would be a good place to put it, particularly since Buffy’s mindset about ballet in this au lines up with her issues in this episode, which is she doesn’t get to be a normal girl who can do normal girl things. Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about ballet except what I’ve picked up over the years and also I watched the Nutcracker exactly once.

AU prompts

When Buffy Summers was eight years old, she took her first ballet lesson.

It was fun and little Buffy liked it well enough. She would diligently practice her poses (despite her mildly clumsy nature), she thought “tutu” was a funny word, and she enjoyed dressing up and putting on a show for her parents at recitals.

When Buffy Summers was 15 years old, she was called as a Slayer and sentenced to a short life of violence and death.

It’s funny the things that become important to you after going through a world-shattering change like that. It’s funny the ways you decide to dig your heels in and fight it.

For Buffy, ballet was one of them.

It didn’t matter how many times she was told her sacred duty should always be her first priority and responsibility. It didn’t matter that she eventually had to quit the cheer squad. It didn’t matter how chaotic her life got or how many hours of sleep she lost to post-midnight patrols at the cemetery. She refused to give up her ballet. Refused to be late for any lessons or recitals. She even refused to miss Hermery’s production of The Nutcracker, even though she’d already performed in the ballet once before and Merrick said she had important training to do.

It was strange, the way she found herself clinging to the art in a way she never quite had before. She didn’t intend to be a ballerina. Didn’t plan to go to a fancy dance school. She never really considered it before, but she certainly didn’t now. Not when there was no point in dreaming about any sort of future at all.

No, there was no white picket fence in the cards. No fantasies of acceptance letters from her dream college. No far-flung future where she’d be a mom or a fun aunt or a grandma. There was only blood and fighting and the very real probability that she’d punch her ticket before her 18th birthday.

Still, she loved her ballet. Loved the way that when she was dancing or practicing her moves…she didn’t feel like the Slayer. She didn’t feel like somebody who spent their nights covered in corpse dust and their free time whittling stakes and was so strong that, if they weren’t careful, they could break a bone while giving a hug. She didn’t feel like any of those things.

She felt like a girl. A normal girl who did ballet and moved like she could be light and delicate. A little girl in a tutu who sat down on the floor with her mom and let her braid her hair…who waved at her parents from the stage a few hours later. Maybe it was juvenile, maybe it was naive or a waste of precious time. Buffy didn’t care. It mattered to her and she wasn’t about to give it up.

And she didn’t. She didn’t quit even as she was being hunted by Lothos or when Merrick died or even when she got kicked out of school because she lit a gym full of vampires on fire.

She moved to Sunnydale and one of the first things she did was sign up for ballet. She ran from her calling and it caught up to her, but still, she attended her dance classes. She faced the Master, she saved the world…she died in her pristine white Spring Fling dress, the edges stained and torn.

Still, she signed up again the next semester.

Which brought Buffy to where she was now: ducking into class just in time to avoid being forcibly volunteered by Principal Snyder to chaperone trick-or-treaters. Willow and Xander hadn’t been so lucky.

But Buffy was just a little faster, and it was a good thing too, because Halloween was supposed to be a Slayer’s night off and tonight was the final rehearsal for her class’s performance of Giselle.

Buffy needed this, she had decided. After her mildly disastrous almost-date with Angel and the general direction her life seemed to be going…she needed a night away from it all. A night where she didn't have to think about ambush tactics or beheadings. A night without vampires or demons or graveyards or anything really, except her costume for the show and her lucky ballet slippers.

And that’s how it had gone…for the first half anyway.

She’d seen off her friends, put on her outfit for the rehearsal, and asked her mom to braid her hair for the first time in two years.

Out of sheer habit, Buffy found herself holding a stake before she walked out of her room. She stared down at it for a long moment, contemplating. She considered leaving it…she really did. There was no point. She didn’t need it. She didn’t want to need it.

She ended up tucking it into the lining of her costume regardless, the nagging feeling in her gut refusing to leave her be until she did.

After that, she joined the rest of her class, worked through all her choreography, and nailed all her cues. Buffy danced her heart out and she walked away from the rehearsal feeling accomplished and confident. (And if there was excess energy still buzzing beneath her skin…one she usually relieved by slaying…she was determined to ignore it.)

Buffy walked across the parking lot with her bag slung over her shoulder and a spring in her step.

The Slayer felt what happened next more than she truly saw it; a combination of natural instinct and training. She dodged the first blow before it even connected, shifting her weight around and slamming her fist square into her attacker’s nose before she even knew who her attacker was.

It was a mop of bleached blond hair that reeled back, a string of accented curses following shortly after. Buffy knew immediately who it was. Maybe she should’ve been scared, but more than anything she was suddenly very very annoyed.

It was her night off, damn it.

A low growl escaped the punkish vampire as he clutched his nose and glared back at her, yellow eyes reflecting both anger and confusion.

“Sodding hell!” he blurted, pulling his hand back to check for a bloody nose. “This isn’t right, you’re supposed to be—“

“Oh? Oh, I’m sorry, you think this isn’t right?!” Buffy suddenly shouted back, surprising him with the intensity. “It is one thing to crash my parent-teacher night, it’s another thing entirely to bother me right now! I thought you freaks were supposed to stay in tonight!”

“Yeah, well, tell that to the beasties mucking up the entire town.”

Buffy froze, a wave of cold dread and anger sweeping over her. She let her backpack drop off her shoulder onto the pavement and took a bold and threatening step toward him.

“What the hell did you do?” She gritted out.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he put his hands up, looking all too pleased to be accused. “Not my doing, love, just takin’ advantage.”

“Of what?”

He tilted his head to the side, observing her. “You really don’t know.”

She shot him a withering look, one that had reduced fledges to begging for mercy.

He just smiled through his fangs.

“Some witch or chaos agent or some rot thought it’d be funny to turn your Sunnyhell populace into their costumes this year,” he explained.

“I just don’t get why you’re not all…I dunno—“ he waved his hand, gesturing to all of her, “—unslayer-like.”

Buffy wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt offended, but she did.

“This isn’t a Halloween costume!”

His eyebrows shot up, almost surprised.

“Oh.”

“What do you mean, ‘oh’?”

“Just never met a Slayer who was a ballerina before, is all.”

Buffy crossed her arms, feeling a little ridiculous to even be having this conversation.

“Is there something wrong with that? Is that like against the Slayer code or something?”

His scarred eyebrow shot up, clearly amused by her snippy tone.

“On the contrary, I think it suits you,” he smiled lightly, tilting his head and letting his eyes roam her outfit.

Buffy wasn’t sure what she was feeling in that moment, but she knew she needed to kill him for it. Whatever it was.

She opened her mouth to let out a retort, but he wasn’t paying attention. His gaze had stop at her feet and ankles, staring down at her laced slippers as if they held some great mystery.

“Hey!” She yelled, snapping her fingers. “Hello? Earth to rock band reject?”

He jumped a little, like he’d gotten lost in thought.

“What the hel—“

“Is it true ballerinas have wood in their shoes?” He cut her off, a note of genuine curiosity in his voice.

After she got past the initial surprise of such an offhand question, Buffy almost laughed.

“What’s a matter, Spike, scared of some slippers?” She taunted.

He let out a scoffing laugh, his tongue absently running along the point of one of his fangs. “Hardly.”

There was a pause, and Buffy wasn’t sure why, but she found herself compelled to answer him. It was stupid; it wasn’t like she owed him anything. But he seemed genuinely curious and maybe it was just that neither of her Watchers nor most of the normal people in her life cared all that much about her dancing or what it entailed. Let alone the vampires.

“It’s not wood. It’s paper and glue.”

“Huh.” He made a perplexed noise in the back of his throat, like it intrigued him.

“Now this on the other hand,” Buffy added, producing a stake from the lining of her costume.

He grinned at that, wide and all fangs, a glint finding its way into his eyes.

“Ya know, Slayer, I’m actually glad you didn’t get turned into some dainty princess or red riding hood or some such. Woulda ruined the dance.”

Buffy scoffed in disbelief.

“You think we’re dancing?”

“You’re the professional, you tell me,” he replied and then threw himself into the fight that had been inevitable since the moment he arrived.

[sophsun1]

in one of your ask you talked about Brain going home with the guy from the market as another story. would you elaborate on that love hearing your thoughts and opinions

Hey anon, thank you even though it's mostly a mess of thoughts and rambling!

I just find the whole of 2x06 such an interesting composition of Brian's fears about hypothetical relationship standards versus how he's subconsciously been in one and doesn't even realise it. Like the actual day to day realities of being with someone doesn't seem to phase him. He will flirt, kiss, manhandle Justin in front of everyone no problem. He goes to clubs with him, family dinners with his friends and has no issue being seen with him. And yet the moment someone mentions the dreaded word 'relationship' he freaks the fuck OUT.

This episode tackles him doing exactly that but also let's us see him work through his issues via help from Debbie and self reflect on what he wants and that's so satisfying for me as a fan of his character but also someone who relates to him very much. Ultimately we get him coming to a mature decision by laying all his cards on the table and telling Justin how he feels by being kinda romantic about it without purposefully trying to. Letting him know what to expect from being with him but also setting his own boundaries and comfort levels. That's what we call growth ladies and gentlemen!

When we see britin grocery shopping that's when Brian meets the trick and they're checking each other out. Here we get a taste of Justin's jealousy and uncertainty and Brian's uneasiness over no longer being seen as the stud of liberty avenue when he overhears the trick gossiping about him to another customer. We also hear the dreaded word - RELATIONSHIP.

Cue Justin walking in on them and being crushed as he thought they were actually heading towards being in one. The next morning Brian tries to flirt with Justin at the diner and it's business as usual for him but Justin gives him the cold shoulder. Leading to the conversation where Brian admits the guy meant nothing he doesn't even remember it. Such a huge part of his identity is linked to sex. He enjoys it, the thrill of the chase and being wanted but he also uses it to mask his pain and a way to hurt himself as he admits to Ted in 5x08 when he says he's redefined promiscuity and it doesn't help. This is an example of that Brian's hurt so he uses sex as a way to solve it, Brian only decides to take the guy home AFTER he overhears what he says about him. It wasn't through some intense attraction or desire to be with him like it is with Justin it was simply to ease his bruised ego. This is why I have such an issue with never getting scenes with Britin being emotionally vulnerable with each other and having deep meaningful conversations that don't revolve around their relationship. Any moments where Brian is crying, in pain and allowing himself to seek comfort are with Michael - his dad's return/dad's death/ the cancer speech on the Liberty Ride etc. It would've added so much depth to them and allowed Justin to understand why Brian behaved the way he did sometimes and his reliance on his sexual identity being a mask for his own insecurities.

The ending scene with the rules is one of my favourite moments in their story arc this episode. Brian actually surprises us by admitting to Debbie that he does love Justin and takes her advice on board doing something about it.

I love the whole speech he gives but special mention to the line " The reason I took you in was because you took a bat to head but it's not the reason I want you to stay. Brian's mind is so in fear of relationships and his definition and experience of them ie society/friends/ his parents he doesn't realise the magnitude behind that line of dialogue. He's not just saying that he wants to keep seeing Justin but that he wants him to keep living with him. Back to displaying the merits of being in a relationship and wanting those traits but averse to admitting it. I'm proud of him because he's fully open and honest no bullshit and no lies. He upholds these rules even after their breakup. Just think if the roles were reversed and Brian was the one who cheated on Justin how would he have been treated? The group and Justin don't ever know the extent to which he kept his promise and how much he used the rules as a way to showcase his love as someone who'd never experienced it before. Therefore it wasn't the stereotypical 'I love you' with words he showed it through his actions. So Justin thinking he didn't give a damn and not realising how much he cared was painful :(

The most fascinating parts of Brian's journey for me are the moments where we see him try and come to terms with opening up himself to love, recognising that and taking control of his life and allowing himself to be happy. Learning that being vulnerable or showing his feelings doesn't make him weak but that it makes him strong. Strong enough to overcome his past and choose his own future whatever that may be. What can I say emotionally repressed asshole characters with a heart of gold are my jam <3

[whateverthedragonswant]

So I saw this comment on a video on YouTube:

And because I'm me, my mind immediately went:

*rubs hands together* Alright, so let's say this is actually fact (not what Ryan supposedly said but the point about Eddie's love story being Christopher alone, which ngl using that term for this beloved father and son relationship is so weird even though I know it's not meant in a negative way) then why the Eddie and Shannon possible reconciliation story arc? Oh, okay, for closure? Okay, got it, got it. But uh...why the Eddie and Ana romance arc then? That the show has very clearly embraced by adding it to the things Oliver needed to mention in the promo for the new season? Or by their promotion on SM? Hmm...

Secondly, I agree that Christopher will always come first for Eddie, as he should. But that doesn't mean Eddie cannot have a separate love story in his journey while keeping Christopher as the top priority. Eddie is able to be happy, too, and he should be. As long as it's someone who makes both he and Christopher happy, who is best for both of them, who he and Christopher both want to keep around.

But alright, let's accept this statement at face value and pretend for a moment that it's fact. Christopher is indeed Eddie's only love story. Welp, you know who else has a love story with Christopher?

Buck has been a fan of Christopher's since day one. Ever since he saw him with Eddie in 2x03. The first interactions with Eddie are always talked about but they constantly overshadow the first interactions that Buck has with Christopher that are just as important.

Buck talks to Maddie about both Eddie and Christopher in 2x04. Buck asks Carla to come by in order to help Eddie cut through the red tape to get Christopher what he needs. Before that, you had Buck hitting Bobby up when he knew Eddie had to bring Christopher back to the fire station, so he could clear it with the chief. When Buck mistakenly thinks Maddie is referring to how cute Eddie is in 2x06, he says "Yeah, he gets that a lot. But you should meet his kid, though." When Eddie talks to Buck in 2x10 about Shannon, the very beginning of the scene starts with Eddie saying he offered to wait in line with Christopher to see Santa but he refused, and Buck saying "I really admire that kid. I love the way he always wants to do everything on his own." And don't even get me started on season 3, where we see Buck and Christopher's friendship is completely cemented, starting with the handmade card scene in 3x01, and then the day at the pier, which then turns into a nightmarish exclusive bonding event between them. The fact that Eddie knows it's Christopher that will help Buck out of his depressed state, and tells him that it's Christopher's turn to save him. Or even the dialogue: "And what, you think you failed? I fail that kid more times than I care to count and I'm his father. But I love him enough to never stop trying. And I know you do, too." Or how about the fact that when Eddie is pissed at Buck for the lawsuit and confronts him in the grocery store, he mentions how much Christopher misses him? And Buck is immediately ready to go and see him if Eddie allows it. Then you have the skateboarding incident in 3x12, where Buck helps come up with a way for Christopher to enjoy skateboarding but in a safer way so he won't have to be limited from these types of activities. And then you have the well collapse which spurs Eddie to choose Buck as Christopher's legal guardian and update his will (which we find out at the end of season 4 as does Buck). Buck's concern in 3x18 about Christopher spending two weeks away from home to go to summer camp.

Then you have all of season 4. Buck and Christopher are playing video games in 4x03 while Eddie goes around collecting all technological devices. He waits for Buck to back him up on the no internet thing and then walks away, leaving Buck and Christopher to figure out how to spend their night playing old school games. Plus, you have Buck and Christopher in on a prank together that they pull on Eddie. Then you have Christopher running to Buck when he gets mad at his dad after finding out Eddie is dating again. And it's only when Buck assures him that he's not going anywhere that Christopher is open to meeting his dad's new girlfriend. You have Buck learning basically how to parent from Eddie and it's confirmed by such scenes as 4x10 with the whole good cop dialogue (as well as that scene from 4x03 and Buck's initial reaction to Christopher after getting off the phone with Eddie after the running away in 4x08). Then you have Buck telling Christopher about Eddie's shooting and choosing to stay to take care of Christopher at Eddie's house while he's in the hospital. And of course, the legal guardian reveal. "No one will ever fight for my son as hard as you. And that is what I want for him."

This is just as important as Eddie's story (sorry, I refuse to use that term anymore, it makes me wince way too much) with Christopher. But the beauty of it is the show has taken both of these separate stories with Christopher and have begun intertwining them so we get:

The Buckley-Diaz family. And now not only were we already heading towards Buddie from season 3 (and a reveal I think about Eddie's character that has been subtly hinted at since season 2 I would say), but at this point in time Buck and Eddie are solid father figures to Christopher (Jee-Yun and Uncle Buck provide the contrast so the audience knows just which role Buck is playing in the Buckley-Diaz family & not to mention the obvious parallel with season 2 Bathena and Bobby having to transition from the kids' friend to their stepparent, told by both Athena and Michael) and the story is now choosing to focus more on their dynamic, and not the family's. It doesn't mean that Christopher isn't still very much present or an important piece of that unit, but now they're looking to close it up and complete the family circle. And the only way they can do that is to address the other two members of the family (and any outside significant others the two have and may have) and how that will determine how they move forward:

tldr; Christopher is not Eddie's only love story in the series (and can we please stop using that term?) and no matter what you say, it all comes back to one thing: Buddie.