#and maybe you guys will find it funny too

[luvacookie]

୨୧ say cheese.

choso kamo always gets what he wants in the end.

❥ warnings : kind of stalker choso, alcohol usage, light smut, photo taking, fem blk coded reader, intended use of lower case.

❥ cookie for ur thoughts ? : a little choso drabble bcs im going through it and need him biblically. also ignoring that ive been missing for 9 months…

possessive ! choso who likes to poke fun at you all the time, loving to get you all riled up because it’s cute to see you with an attitude

possessive ! choso who sneaks his way into your life almost daily, some how finding away to piss you off differently every single day

possessive ! choso who tells you that it’s just a joke and to lighten up when you snap at him

“it’s not fucking funny ! is it that hard to leave me alone ?” you shout at him, your hands resting on your hips.

he raises his hands, a small smirk on his face. “i’m sorry princess, forgot how sensitive you are.”

possessive ! choso who watches as you stomp away, muttering profanity under your breath about how much you hate his stupid face

possessive ! choso who had been following your every move for longer than you could imagine, silently stalking you on your socials and even going as far to sometimes stalk you in person

possessive ! choso whose gears grind when he sees you talking to literally any other male but him, you were his after all

“your new boyfriend is cute isn’t he ?” he asks playfully, though his joking demeanour doesn’t quite match the dull look in his eyes.

you scoff, “him ? my boyfriend ? you insult me. he’s just a friend.”

“that’s why you were all fucking over him, yeah ?” he mumbles, looking off to the side somewhere.

possessive ! choso who goes to all the same social events as you because it gives him an opportunity to see you all dolled up and outside of college

possessive ! choso who sees you at a party dancing with another guy and something inside of him snaps

possessive ! choso who drags you away from the random, forcing you into a close proximity with him and him only

“what the fuck !” you shout at him, mildly intoxicated and definitely angered.

“why were you all up on that guy y/n ? you know he was just trying to get a quick fuck from you,” he says harshly, missing the way your face contorts.

you scoffed in his face. “so what, maybe i wanted a quick fuck from him too.”

possessive ! choso whose blood boils at the statement, disgusted at the thought of that creep putting his cock in you

possessive ! choso who ushers you up stairs into the nearest bedroom, locking the door behind him

possessive ! choso who kisses you roughly as soon as he gets his hands on you

“such a needy slut huh ?” he mocks you, breathing heavily whilst you whine at him for more.

“shut the fuck up and kiss me choso,” you snap, dragging him back in for a longer, more heated makeout.

he moans against your lips and pushes you on the bed, “wanted this for so long princess.”

possessive ! choso leaving dark bites all over your exposed skin, warning off anyone who dared to come near you for the rest of the night

possessive ! choso undressing you swiftly then getting his phone out of his back pocket

“smile baby, want everyone to know who you belong to,” he mumbles, angling the camera over your body.

you comply with him, giving him a sweet, innocent smile.

“fuckkkk... i’m gonna fuckin’ ruin you,” he groans, the flash highlighting all your curves.

possessive ! choso who follows through on his words, giving you the most soul-shattering orgasm of your life

possessive ! choso who sets that picture as his lock screen when he’s done so he can always stare at your beautiful body and face

[hwang-inhos-fish]

Jun-ho really is that bitch, huh?

Looking for his elusive big bro off the clock, happens to see a business card in his room of the same type some random drunk guy in the police station had.

Casually lies to get "drunk guy's" (Gi-hun's) address.

Follows said guy until he's picked up in some weird car, then follows the car to a ferry. Ferry is FULL of identical cars of unconscious people?? Well that's weird, better sneak on, play dead and MURDER SOMEONE HOLY DAMN OKAY JUN-HO (??)

Steals worker's clothes. Worker goes into the ocean. Bye now. You just got murked by a police officer, what else is new.

Staff uniform acquired. Time to be a full-time employee for however long it takes to locate his bro on this whole island. How hard can it be?

Everyone else is going to their rooms for the night? Hmm, better check his pockets. Oh, a number? Sure, this is his bedroom now.

Meanwhile he's just COMPLETELY deaf and blind to the RANCID vibes being radiated his way by the other organ pinks, it's so fuckin funny they're like BRO and he's just (mii theme)

Takes notes on his phone under the covers at night like a child staying up late to play the game boy.

Goes along with whatever the hell these other pink guys are doing. Oh, they're harvesting organs. Oh, they harvested his brother's organs. Maybe more murder? He considers more murder.

Kidneyless corpse was not bro.

He does some more murder anyway because these guys suck ass.

Continue search for bro.

Casually enter Front Man's personal office to snoop, play hide and seek with bro (but it's a secret and he won't know until later.)

What's this, a VIP area? "Your shift is over," he tells the first man of his approximate stature he finds.

Salad fork over face, phone in the sleeve, now he's a waiter.

Gross old rich guy wants to get lucky? Okay sure, let's just head on over to the porno room and POINT GUN AT VIP HEAD HAHA HOW THE TURNTABLES.

Hide and seek again.

Scuba dive escape. (Okay?? Have you done this before?? This is just routine to you?)

Run around the island with phone above head trying to send seven videos at once (bro trusted that SK internet speeds a lil too much).

Uh-oh, pink guys found you.

Front Man is bro!

Reject bro.

Fall off cliff.

Best character tbh. He's the most competent AND the most chaotic one and that's my favorite combo.

[daddyissuesbecauseofhotch]

Daddy issues || #4

{masterlist}

You can’t help yourself, you simply have to see what Aaron’s like when he puts his son to bed. Does he read him a bedtime story? Do they talk about something? Does he kiss his forehead before tucking him in? The idea of him being the sweetest father, maybe as kind and caring as your own was, melts your heart. He’s already in the perfect category in your eyes, but if you’ll like what you see, you’ll have to create a brand new category just for him.

While you’ve never really thought about kids, being too busy attending parties almost every weekend, and sometimes during the weekdays if it was hard to decline an invitation, now you suddenly find yourself wondering what it would be like to take care of one. At this very moment, it’s not just any child in your mind. It’s Jack. He’s young, he could probably get used to the idea of having you around, and he seems to be a really good kid.

Letting out a dreamy sigh, you lean against the doorframe with your shoulder, your hands comfortably tucked into the pocket of the hoodie, and watch the bedtime ritual with curious eyes. Jack is aware of you being there, he keeps whispering something to his father while he’s glancing at you over and over again, and his father whispers back with a quiet chuckle. But then the boy yawns and falls back on his back, which prompts Aaron to pull the blanket up to his neck and lean down to kiss his forehead.

“Sleep tight, buddy,” he tells him softly before standing up to leave the room.

Without thinking, you take a few steps back so he can close the door, but when he stands toe to toe with you in the hallway, you lose contact with the filter between your brain and mouth. How could you think properly when he’s looking down at you with those brown eyes you want to drown in, watching you with that boyish smirk that makes your heart race?

So, you speak up and spit out something you should have kept to yourself. “How can something sweet like this be also hot as hell?” you ask him quietly, your breath hitching when he lets out a soft laugh. “That’s not funny.”

He shakes his head, the smile still present on his lips. “Actually, it is pretty funny. Come on, I have some really good wine waiting for us.”

Nodding, you follow him to the kitchen, but when you get there, he immediately cages you between himself and the counter. Your eyes are as big as saucers from the surprise, but you can only gulp since no words come to your mind. Deep down you know you should ask him what he’s doing, what the plan is, but you can’t get the words out. You’ve gone home with guys you barely knew before, one-night stands are nothing new to you sadly, but Aaron? You want to take it slow, you want to get to know him, but it’s clear he has a different idea.

Maybe for the first time in your life you want something real, a proper relationship that might be able to domesticate you, and you can feel that he’s the perfect candidate for that. Being with him would give you an instant family, though, you would find yourself in the role of a stepmom if things turned serious enough, and you’re terrified of that. What if Jack wouldn’t accept you? What if you fuck something up and end up hurting one of them?

“Hey,” he says quietly as he grabs your chin to make you look at him. “What’s wrong?”

Let’s see, you’re already daydreaming about a relationship that might never even happen. Yeah, right, he would escort you out of the apartment in a second. “Nothing, I’m just glad to see how happy your son is,” you reply, telling him a teeny tiny part of the truth.

A proud smile appears on his lips as he watches you, his gaze shifting down to your lips for a millisecond. Every fiber in your body is screaming at you to make the first move, to close the gap and kiss him, but your mind holds you back, telling you that it’s not the right time to be bold. Let him work for your attention, let him show you what exactly he wants. There’s no need to act like you do with guys your age.

Aaron leans close enough that you can feel his hot breath on your face when he exhales, but he doesn’t say anything, not even when he moves his hand from your chin to the side of your neck. How did he have the audacity to call you a tease when he’s doing things like that?

“You feel it too, don’t you?” he asks quietly, his thumb gently stroking your soft skin. When you give him a confused look, he shakes his head slightly. “The pull every time we’re close to each other. I can’t explain it, it’s just–”

“There,” you finish, finally understanding what he meant.

This pull, this attraction, this gravitational field is so strong that it’s impossible not to notice or choose to ignore it. Aaron knows that, you know that, and now maybe it’s time to explore what it means. He nods upon hearing the word you said out loud, but he remains silent, he just keeps watching you, analyzing you. During dinner, whenever Jack gave him a moment to talk, he told you about his job as a profiler, so now you feel like you’re being studied under a microscope.

Suddenly, he decides to knock you out of the depths of your thoughts by lifting you to the counter and placing a kiss on your nose. “Do you wanna find out what would happen if we got a little closer?” he asks, his hands moving to your knees, fingers spreading as he moves them up your thighs.

A jolt of electricity runs through you, and you can’t stop yourself, you cup his face and pull him into a kiss. He doesn’t hesitate to return it, quickly taking the lead as he kisses you hard and messy, way too eager to have you all to himself. All you want is spending the night in his bed, exploring every inch of his body and taking the time to learn more about him. He’s not that type, you know that, not someone who would sleep with a woman he barely knows, but God, you need him so bad.

The spell is broken when you hear some strange noises from Jack’s room, and his fatherly instincts kick in right away, making him rush to his son’s room. You don’t miss the sound of crying, the heartbreaking sobs of the child you grew to like so much in the past few hours. Your curiosity is strong, telling you to go and see what’s happening, but you also know it’s not something you should observe.

Some time later you’re sitting on the couch, mindlessly checking your notifications to see if there’s anything interesting, but your mind keeps returning to the kiss, that goddamn kiss you won’t be able to forget anytime soon. Finally, you hear the sound of footsteps from the bedrooms, and Aaron eventually sits next to you with a troubled look on his face.

“Wanna talk about it?” you ask hesitantly.

He shakes his head with a sigh. “Not now.”

You nod as you lock your phone and turn to him. “I didn’t want to sneak out without a word. Thank you for the dinner and everything, but I should probably go now.” Before he could speak, you stand up and slip the phone into the pocket of the hoodie. The hoodie that still smells like him.

It hurts. It really does. You can see the sadness in his eyes, but he doesn’t want to talk about it, and you don’t want to force him to tell you what’s wrong. Maybe he needs some time alone now to think about whatever happened in his son’s bedroom.

You’re not good at this; the emotional conversations are the bane of your existence. You work, you go to parties, but most of your relationships are extremely shallow. You have absolutely no experience in emotionally supporting someone in need of it, and you sure as hell won’t practice on the man you like so much.

When you grab the doorknob, though, you suddenly see him put his hand on the door next to your head to keep it closed. You turn to him with a confused look on your face. He lets out a humorless laugh as he watches you.

“It’s not an easy topic, okay? I’ll tell you, I promise, just… not yet. I wanted you to know this,” he adds, then leans in to give you a soft kiss. You return it, but it feels different now, so you put a hand on his chest to gently push him away. Now it’s his turn to look confused. “Did I do something wrong?” he asks, and for the first time since you’ve known him, he sounds unsure of himself.

“No, it’s just getting late. Good night, Aaron.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but then he sees the determination in your eyes and gives up the fight before he could even begin. “Sure. Good night.”

[theocddiaries]

Amy: What you two need to do to smooth things over is talk. With an impartial third party guiding you with a little bit of psychology. So come on, let's start. Sonic, say something you like about Shadow. Sonic: He's kind. Very level-headed. Trustworthy. He brings calm wherever he goes. Shadow: …Thank you, Sonic. Amy: Good. Shadow? Shadow: Hm… Well, he's… Good-hearted, even at his own detriment. He’s funny. He always tries to include everyone. He makes people feel comfortable. Sonic: Thanks, Shads. Amy: See? Saying those things is important. Just like accepting criticism. Why don't you start this time, Shadow? What's something about Sonic that you don't like? Shadow: Well… when I ask him if he wants something to eat and he says no, but then he starts picking at my plate… Sonic: It's true, I do that. I say I don’t feel like eating, but then I see the food and I can’t resist. Sorry. Shadow: It’s fine. I’m starting to remember to grab you a separate plate with a little bit of everything. Sonic: Okay, my turn. Hmm… I don’t like when you move my things around. I can never find anything. Shadow: Well, that’s not really moving things around, it’s called organizing, but okay, I accept the criticism. Amy: See? That’s healthy communication and-- Sonic: Since you’re accepting criticism so well, what about never admitting you're wrong? Like now. Amy: Sonic, wait, we’ve-- Shadow: I was actually being gracious because I don’t want to start a fight. Amy: Shadow, I was talking-- Sonic: I've got another one, you keep everything to yourself and then people have to guess what’s wrong with you. Shadow: You surely aren't talking about yourself in that scenario, considering you spend all day with your head in the clouds. Maybe that’s why you’re confused, saying I move your things when all I do is put them in a drawer instead of leaving them on the floor. Amy: Guys, we’re drifting off-topic a little-- Sonic: Look, if you need to micro-manage everything because you’ve got a trauma the size of Greenland, it’s not my fault, okay? Shadow: I do not micro-manage. Sonic: Come on, everything has to be as you wish. Shadow: If that were true, the trash wouldn't still be there. When are you going to take it out? Sonic: When I feel like it because this is my house. If I want to leave it there until it grows legs and throws itself out, I will! Shadow: Now you can afford the luxury call this a house; before I got here, this place was a mess! Sonic: No. Before you got here, this place was a peaceful haven! Shadow: A peaceful haven full of crap. You’ve got the closets as decoration, you big lazy! Amy: Okay guys, let’s breathe-- Sonic: Maybe I'm just tired of coming home and seeing you with that damn scowl all day, bitter idiot! Shadow: Maybe I’m pissed off all day because you don’t do anything! Sonic: I don't do anything because according to you I do everything wrong, Mr I-don't-micromanage! Just tell me what you want and I'll do it! Shadow: Right now, what I want is for you to leave! Sonic: No, you leave, you’re the one who’s a problem wherever you go! Shadow: Gladly! [stands up and walks toward the door] Sonic: Oh no no! I’m leaving, so you can't act like a martyr! [leaves the house too] [Amy pinches the bridge of her nose while they’re still heard arguing in the hallway.] Shadow: Stop following me, idiot! Sonic: I’m not following you, you paranoid, I’m going in the elevator! Shadow: Of course you’re taking the elevator! Lazy! Sonic: Go ahead and take the whole staircase, you selfish! Knuckles [comes out of the kitchen with a sandwich, having heard everything]: Damn, is this therapy? Making things worse? People spend money on such things… or maybe you're just really bad at this. Amy [throws a pillow at him] Knuckles: Ow! [sarcastically]: Amy, accepting criticism is important, Amy.

This could be like the prologue of this and this tbh

[redpill-tfs]

Can you help Red Pill me and my husband? He's a bit resistant to change, but I want us to become MAGA and serve our country together as proud, conservative gay guys.

I'd be glad to help you and your husband serve this great nation! I'll give you two tablets. Take one yourself and sneak the other in your husband's morning coffee while he isn't looking. He'll be transformed by the evening, as will you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and your husband had a familiar morning routine. Wake up, get dressed in a polo shirt and jeans on the weekdays or a t shirt and khaki shorts on the weekends, and have a quick breakfast with your morning coffee. Today was a Tuesday, so you slipped your blue polo over your head as you made your way to the kitchen. You made two quick bowls of cereal and two mugs of coffee, dissolving the red tablets into each cup before taking everything to the table.

"Morning babe." Your husband says as he appears and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for doing breakfast."

"Of course babe. I gotta feed my big man before he goes to work after all." You replied, placing his bowl and mug in front of him, a rainbow mug you picked up at a pride parade for him.

He took the mug with a smile as he opened his phone to CNN, looking at the morning news. He frowned as he took a sip and set the mug back down. "Did you do something different with the coffee this morning? It tastes kind of funny."

"No babe," you lied. "I made it the same as usual."

"Strange. Maybe I'm coming down with something. I think I'll call the office and tell them I'm not coming in."

You frown at that. Your husband was the main breadwinner in the family with you out of work at the moment. You didn't like seeing him feeling ill.

"Alright babe. Want me to go grab you something from the store to help?"

"Sure."

You smile at that, finishing up your breakfast. "I'll be right back then." You put your dishes in the sink, intending to do them later as you step foot out of the apartment you rent in the city.

You think of walking since the store is only a block away, but you feel compelled to get in the car and drive instead. Putting your foot on the gas, you drive into the horrible morning traffic.

It doesn't take long to get to the store, but you don't stop. You keep driving for a while, turning the radio on as you go. The host announces the democrat mayor of your city has announced she will protect illegal immigrants from deportation. You smile at that , proud the person you voted for is putting in work.

As you pull into one of the neighborhood communities, you see a car parked outside a house with an Open House sign in the yard. You've never been to this area before, but you know you and your husband couldn't afford to live here. The houses are too nice, the lawns freshly kept. You couldn't even afford to adopt a kid. A man could dream at least.

You feel compelled to go inside and check it out. You give yourself a once over in the car mirror, your dress shirt still fitting nicely. (Weren't you wearing a polo?) You head inside to find a nice open concept layout, everything recently remodeled. As you turn to explore more of the house, a young couple comes up to you.

"Excuse me, can you tell me a bit more about this house?" The husband says while the wife looks at you expectantly.

You know nothing about the house, but it wouldn't be right to turn them down, especially since you can't see the realtor anywhere. So you say whatever comes to mind, how the house is a three bed, two bath home with 1800 square feet, a nice backyard for kids and pets to play in, and a bonus room over the garage. The neighborhood itself has plenty of schools and parks nearby, as well as five churches within a mile. Overall, the perfect area to raise a family.

They seem satisfied with your answer and leave you alone, leaving to explore the rooms. You head into the half bathroom connected to the kitchen, checking your reflection again in the mirror. Your red tie is perfectly in place, and your suit jacket looks good on you. You need to dress professionally and look good to sell houses after all. You fix a few stray hairs before heading back into the kitchen to greet more people coming in.

You feel good as the open house ends for the day. A lot of people came through the door, and some of them put offers in. You couldn't wait to tell your husband the good news. You get back in the car and turn on the radio again. This time you hear that President Trump's administration will be preparing to deport illegals in the city against the mayor's wishes. You smile at that, proud the man you voted for is putting in work. You can't believe the mayor would fight this. Good thing you voted against her.

Pulling into the driveway of the house you bought a year ago, you spy your husband already outside waiting for you. He looks really nice in his pink shirt and bow tie. Just because he's a stay at home dad doesn't mean he doesn't put effort into how he looks.

He greets you with a kiss as you tell each other about your days. He walked your two sons to school, tended to the garden outside, mowed the lawn, and made dinner for the four of you to share. He celebrates the news of the offers at the open house, giving you another kiss.

As the two of you head inside to spend the evening with your kids, you think about all that you have. A wonderful home in a great neighborhood, the best family you could ask for, and Republicans controlling the national government, enacting the policies you've been wanting. Life is good.

[maroonshirt81]

Am I No Joke to You?

9k carcar os

Carlos also knew Oscar didn’t hate him because he had asked him outright, and the answer had been, “Yes, Carlos, I have a dartboard with your face pinned to it right above my desk. You never noticed?”

(He had secretly checked. There wasn’t one.)

Unfortunately, the only conclusion left to draw was that Oscar simply didn’t find him funny. And Carlos refused to believe that.

---

or: 5 times Carlos failed to make Oscar laugh and 1 time he succeeded

___

(extract:)

“Maybe you just rub him the wrong way,” Lando suggested, sitting on the edge of the table in their office break room like he had never before heard of the concept of chairs.

“But you always make fun of him, and he’s all ‘heeheehee!’” Carlos objected, scowling at the new coffee machine, which looked more like an airplane dashboard, with random blinking buttons and different levers.

“Maybe,” Lando continued, “you have to learn to rub him the right way, yeah?”

“I do not plan on rubbing my paralegal in any way, Lando,” Carlos huffed.

“Maybe you should?”

Carlos turned away from the futuristic machine to throw Lando an incredulous look. “I hope you are joking.”

“Dead serious,” Lando said, looking—in fact—dead serious. “I actually think he likes you.”

“I think it’s time to take you to the vet again,” Carlos mumbled, turning back to the coffee machine, which unfortunately hadn’t magically turned less complicated in the last five seconds, even though Carlos’s need for coffee had just skyrocketed.

“Look, mate—some people are just like that,” Lando continued cheerfully. “When they have a crush on someone, they become all mean and playfully judgy. He probably wants to look cool in front of you—can’t really do that when he’s giggling like a schoolgirl at everything you say.”

Carlos decided the best course of action was to ignore Lando and his crazy conspiracy theories that no one but his therapist should ever hear spoken out loud.

“This thing should come with a robot barista!” he said, pressing a few random buttons. Thankfully, he heard Lando dissolve into giggles behind him, so any further advice was successfully silenced for now. “What did they expect, putting this into a lawyers’ break room? Intelligent people? I get paid to talk for a living, not push buttons. We even have an elevator guy!”

Lando’s giggles evolved into a full-mode laughing fit, which Carlos knew he would not recover from for the foreseeable future, so Carlos was free to fall into his rant for an appreciative audience. The shrieking laughter was already attracting other people—the door to the break room opened to reveal Alex and… Oscar.

Perfect.

“Hellooo?” Carlos sing-songed, knocking against the coffee machine’s top. “Maybe it is voice-activated?” He grabbed one of the random handles and spoke into it like a microphone, “One espresso, please, Mr. Machine.”

Lando let out a howl. Oscar was stone-faced as always.

“Look at this!” Carlos ranted, pointing at a temperature gauge. “Why does it have a speedometer? Am I supposed to regulate the speed of the coffee flow myself?” He yanked one of the levers and blanched when it actually came off, turning to give Alex and Oscar a guilty look, as if he had just realized they were witnesses to his crime. “You saw nothing!” he said, hiding the lever behind his back. “I am serious! If you rat me out, I will bring you down. I know some good lawyers!”

Alex laughed, like any normal person would.

Oscar looked like Carlos had just recited a bad rendition of Hamlet in front of the class. But not only that. He was also coming closer, until he was standing right in Carlos’s space, reaching around him to grab the broken lever. And then, as if he had done nothing else his entire life, he pushed the lever back into its place, grabbed a clean espresso glass from the cupboard, put it under the machine, and pressed a button, upon which a stream of delicious-smelling espresso flowed into the glass.

Carlos, too stunned to speak, had kind of forgotten to give Oscar some actual space to work his magic and was now standing so close, he could count the moles on his cheek.

Oscar turned to look him straight in the eye and said, “You see. There’s a button that says ‘espresso’ on it. What you want to do is—you push it.”

Carlos silently gawked back until the machine stopped whirring. Oscar held his gaze. When Carlos didn’t say anything, he finally turned back to the machine. “You know what?” he said, pushing the same button again. “Let’s get you a double.”

Lando’s laughing fit was reaching the stages of teary breathlessness, squirming on the floor red-faced and weak, and Oscar looked way too proud of himself as he pushed the espresso glass, filled to the brim, into Carlos’s hand.

“Maybe you’d understand the coffee machine better if you actually got your own coffee from time to time instead of making your paralegal get it for you?”

Carlos grabbed the almost overflowing cup and shuffled over to the table, sinking down into his chair with a thousand-yard stare into the warm brown of the espresso foam.

“Anyone else want anything?” Oscar asked the room. Carlos assumed Alex shook his head because all he could hear was Lando wheezing, followed by the whirring of the machine as Oscar made his own coffee.

“All right, back to work,” he announced a minute later. When Carlos finally looked up, he saw that Oscar had stolen his #1 Boss mug and was silently toasting him before walking out of the room.

“Oh my God,” Alex snorted as the door closed behind him. “He is hilarious around you, Carlos!”

“Yes, you two should have your own show!” Lando agreed from the floor, still wheezing for air. He started to pull himself up by the table leg, his flushed face appearing over the surface. “Are you seriously making him get your coffee?”

“It was one time!” Carlos said darkly. “By accident.”

“How do you make someone get you coffee by accident?” Alex inquired.

“He was getting chummy with Verstappen, so I needed him to be busy.”

“Ah,” Lando coughed as he plopped his ass back onto the table’s edge, continuing his boycotting of chairs. Then, out of nowhere, he turned to Alex. “Hey, do you see Oscar’s Insta stories every Sunday?”

Alex looked just as confused about the sudden change in topic as Carlos. “Huh?”

“Yeah, every Sunday, he posts the same picture of the view from the lookout at the top of the mountain with the caption #cyclinglife or something equally lame.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve seen it,” Alex said. “Why?”

“Yes, why are you telling this story to Alex like it’s not clearly aimed at me?” Carlos asked, frowning.

Lando shrugged, unsuccessfully trying to suppress a grin. “Just to have plaulsibl—uhm. Pausible—shit! Plaulauli—fuck, it’s getting worse…”

Carlos gravely shook his head. “How you finished your degree, I will never understand.”

“Oh, shut up,” Lando snorted. “That’s why you’re the one talking in front of big audiences, and I’m the one holding the clients’ hands and making them laugh. Who needs to know how to say ‘palausible denybility’ anyway?”

“This is why I keep my accent,” Carlos declared. “Because it makes me pronounce English better! Listen!” He took a deep breath and moved his hand like a conductor as he slowly spelled it out for Lando.

“Plau-si-ble De-nia-bibli—FUCK!”

Lando collapsed right back onto the floor.

[minkiroo]

second date update

pairing: s.mg x reader (wooyoung and jongho are the radio hosts)

genre: fluff

wc: 1.4k

warnings: discussions of a bloody nose, but nothing else.

note! this story is based on brook and jubal in the morning's second date update, where basically two people go on a first date, one of them ghosts, and the other calls the radio station to try to get the other on the phone to explain why they aren't answering. this particular scenario is basically a direct inspiration from this segment (starting at 8:05), where this actually happened lol. listen to it or not, i think its super funny HAHA

─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ────

“hello, is this [y/n]?”

“uhh… yes - may i ask who’s calling?” your voice, though awake, is cautious, with a slight nasally sound to it.

the call came from an unknown number, which you figured was spam. however, you picked up anyway, prepared to hang up.

“i’m wooyoung, with jongho, from WooHo on air, the radio show?”

“oh… yeah i’ve heard of you guys. i don’t listen much though, sorry.”

“that’s alright." he laughs. "basically, the premise is you went on a date with someone, maybe something went wrong or something was unclear between the two of you, and you ghosted. and so now one of our listener’s emailed us about you to try to figure out what went wrong or why you’re not answering his texts.”

you sigh, the painkillers not hitting you yet to fog your memory up.

“was it mingi?”

the other host, jongho, lets out an “aha!”

“so you’re aware of the date you went on?”

a sharp flare of anger arose. “of course im aware!”

“so why don’t we tell you what we know and you can fill in the gaps for us? so mingi told us that you ditched him in the middle of it and he’s been trying to get a hold of you.”

jongho stepped in: “yeah, you have to tell us what happened and why you would leave mingi in the middle of the date, i mean you ditched him - that is so rude!”

your eyebrows knit in confusion, shaking your head on the other end of the phone in disbelief. “wait a second, you obviously have no clue what actually happened. i didn’t do anything wrong!”

wooyoung responds. “okay, well he swears that your laser tag date was amazing and there was no reason that he can think of that would warrant you ditching him.”

“well, it was fun until it wasnt.”

the hosts both start laughing, confused. “okay… can you give us a bit more?”

“okay, i guess. so…” you take a deep breath before continuing, “we were playing laser tag, as you know, and it was fun! we were teamed up taking people down and stuff.. and mingi just got really competitive against these like ten-year-olds-”

“-as one would in a game of laser tag.” wooyoung cuts in, and you nod, though they couldn’t see it.

“right yeah, i mean one of the goals was to take them down and he whipped around this one corner and hit my face with the bottom of his gun!”

the hosts pause before laughing a bit, bewildered. “wait, wait wait… he accidentally hit you?”

“no, he like, full on hit me with his gun! he broke my nose!”

“there’s no way.” jongho interjects in disbelief.

“well, it may have been an accident but he was being like, a total idiot! like he was way too caught up in the game and getting this ten year old was more important to him than making sure my face was ok! there was blood like, dripping out of my nose!”

“wait, so your nose is broken right now?”

“why else do you think i sound like im holding my nose?!”

wooyoung snorted. “i don’t know, maybe you just sound like that, i didn’t want to assume.”

you roll your eyes. “i was just embarrassed! it was our first date and suddenly my nose is pouring out blood, i didn’t know what to do! so i went to the bathroom and called an uber to go to the hospital.”

jongho tried to find a reason for all of it. “i can’t imagine this guy not feeling bad for doing that if he knew that he broke your nose. i mean-”

“well at that point i didn’t even care about the date anymore! he was just being a reckless jerk and then i get to the hospital and they told me it was broken. i had to have surgery, ive been out of work, like-”

you’re cut off by a voice different than wooyoung and jongho, and instead met by a familiar sounding apology. 

“[y/n], i am so so sorry. i-i had no idea what happened.”

wooyoung sucks in a breath. “so that’s actually mingi, he’s on the other line and wants to talk to you.”

“please, i am so sorry. i had no idea what happened and-”

“no idea what happened?! you ruined my favorite hoodie!”

mingi sounded desperate and apologetic, though the pain killers were starting to hit your system and made it harder to respond. “i tried finding out what happened and you didn’t answer or respond.”

“well, i had to take myself to the hospital, i couldnt answer the phone in surgery!”

“[y/n], i am so sorry. i wouldve taken you to the hospital if i had known. i feel awful.”

you laugh bitterly. “god no, you’re like, the last person i want to see me with a broken nose! we were on a date!”

“i would’ve paid for the hospital bill, for everything. i just wish you told me.”

wooyoung chimes in, feeling like the conversation was running too long for radio time. “honestly, i think the kid’s to blame. should’ve surrendered.” jongho chuckles in agreement.

you ignore the hosts. “i don’t need you to pay my bills, mingi. i managed just fine. i’m sorry, i…” you lose track of what you say, speech slowing down as the painkillers take full effect. “i’m sorry, theres packing material in my nose and i can’t breathe or talk right…”

“i feel so terrible.. and theres no way i can feel great about that night anymore and i screwed up, i get it, i do. but i want to make it right - if there’s any way to i would and i will..” your tense body relaxes a bit, feeling a bit bad for being so short with him.

jongho takes mingi’s side, trying to appeal to your judgement, “[y/n], you really should, he didn’t mean to do it. i know you’re upset and had surgery but it was an accident.”

wooyoung teases with a maniacal laugh. “i don’t know, it sounds like he did it on purpose.”

mingi continues to apologize, promising to do whatever it takes.

wooyoung continues the show, but segwaying into last question. “so… [y/n]... would you like to go out with mingi again on a second date? we will pay for it.”

the painkillers were really getting to you now, and you scoff. “why would you pay for it? he offered to pay my hospital bills, i’m sure mingi can afford a second date.”

jongho laughs, conceding, knowing you were high on something. “okay okay, he can pay. but would you go out with him?”

you frown, looking at yourself in your sick, unkempt, state. as you think, mingi continues to insist he would do anything to make it right.

“you can go and get me some takeout. yeah, mhm, we can start there. and then you leave it at my door. and when i’ve gotten the takeout into my door, you will back three steps away from the door. and then.. and only then… will i consider letting you in if you’ve done all of that safely.” you were clearly on something.

“okay, perfect, mingi, will you buy [y/n] takeout and start working your way back into her good graces? we’ll make it safe.”

“whatever you want. i’ll get you something easy to eat, or whatever you want. what’s your favorite?” his voice is firm and determined.

you pout, “i’ve been craving thai food. from the one place downtown.”

mingi nods. “anything, yes. the thai place downtown. i’ll bring you food.”

you quietly hum, before slurring your next response. "a-and thai tea. with extra boba."

wooyoung laughs. “guys, i think she’s out of it. welp, mingi got his second date and [y/n] got her nose broken. another successful second date update, i think!”

as wooyoung and jongho go on to introduce the next segment of the show, politely ending the call between you and wooyoung on both lines, you’re left with a fuzzy feeling in your chest. a text from mingi catches your attention, asking what time he should come over and what your address is.

you struggle to respond, but manage to do so successfully. though the gentle throbbing in your nose is a relentless distraction, you cant help but feel completely and utterly weightless thinking about mingi coming over.

and it wasn’t the painkillers that time.

[lilysworldofjoy]

Gotcha! (Dandy's World tickle fic)

A/N: This is a platonic booloon fic (though you can see it as ship if ya like). Guys he's in a lee mood trust! Btw, Switch Connie and Switch Looey fans, get fed

{i haven't written these in a very long time, so it may be rusty...}

Plot: Connie discovers Looey's lee mood. And then, Looey finds out Connie is ticklish. Shenanigans ensue.

~🎈👻~

-------------

It's just another day in Gardenview, after recording an episode.

This was a time for toons to interact with each other, talk, or maybe even share the episode from their point of view. Heck, they might even play with each other and... just have fun!

It was a wrap for now. Some good lines were done, and there were bloopers also, but hey! They did it.

Guess what, a ghost and a balloon were no exception to this.

Looey just sat there on his bed, thinking about the episode. And what act to do next with his circus crew. Maybe he'll get off. Just when he was about to lay down, a presence came in.

"Heeeey." A voice rang out. In the couple of minutes they have left before bed, why not make a bit of talk?

"Oh. Hey Connie-" he couldn't bring himself to be serious. Due to something he suddenly remembered, the balloon just giggled a bit, slight squeaks emanating from him.

"what's so funny?", the ghost asked bewildered.

"I don't know, I jus thought of that one blooper—and..."

Another giggle escaped him. He slowly calmed down and just sits down on the floor. Connie instantly went down with him, sensing something in Looey. His fingers fidgeted slightly, his smile was a bit wobbly. He was trying to be normal. Act normal, as one could say. She could sense it. All the signs were here.

Luckily, she was hungry. And boy, was she ravenous.

Looey only smiles sheepishly, feeling the heat from his face explode metaphorically as he lifted his arms a bit, playing with his fingers. "It... You know, it kinda felt like... Heh... Getting tickled or some—"

Looey realized and shut his mouth. Connie smirked. Looey shouldn't have said that.

"U-UM—"

"Oh~ You mean like this?~"

Connie then made a poke towards his stomach. The coldness of her skin sent a shiver down the balloon's spine, making him flinch. Looey was unable to hold back a slight squeak as he was hit by the tickly sensation.

"There we go."

Looey looks at her in panic as she goes down on the floor, pinning both his arms with one hand and tickling his belly with the other. Looey's tail wagged ferociously as her ghostly fingers danced on his stomach.

"NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *squeak* NAHAT—NAHAT THEHEHEHERE! *squeak*"

The balloon shrieked between squeaks, trying and failing miserably to hold it together. His legs kicked weakly against the floor as he laughed.

Meanwhile, her smirk goes wider. "Heh. 'Not there'? Really?~" She goes and targets ONLY his belly. "Not here?~ Not your super sensitive tummy?~"

"EEEEEEHEEHEEHEEHAHAHAH! NOOOOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Connie tickles his stomach faster, making him thrash more and more. Going to his armpits and sides as he does so.

"Aww~ Such a cute and ticklish balloon boy~" Let's just say. That. tease. Made him go into overdrive.

"IHIM NOHOT THAHAHAT CUHUTE! STAHAHAHAH—*squeak*"

"Coochie coochie coo~"

And that, was the end of him.

"NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHA*SQUEAK*HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Hah. Gotcha~"

He becomes a squealing, squeaking mess as he thrashed around, his tail thrashing even more violently as Connie did her work on him. Looey just thrashed for a bit before accidentally managing to grasp her ribs.

"Pff—"

Connie lets go of Looey, covering her mouth. She couldn't cover the ever so slightest smile that tugged at her face.

"What's this?~ Don't tell me, the big bad ghostie is ticklish~"

Connie backs away slightly, panic backing up against her. He'd pin her arms down, smirking ever so slightly as his fingers hover dangerously close to her ribs.

"W-Wait," she chuckled nervously, "We can talk about this—"

"Too late!~"

With those words, Looey digs in. Connie writhed as his fingers went down on her ribs, unable to hold in her own desperate giggles.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! LOHOHOHOOEY!"

Suddenly he gets an idea. Looey leans in to her stomach, looking directly at her belly button. A smirk forms in his face. A soft sniff from him and some muffled giggles from a ghost. And then... He smirks. He takes a deep breath and...

"Looey. Don't. You. Da—*MUFFLED SHRIEK*"

Connie had to hold that one in. Otherwise, the shriek that would have echoed would have been so loud, it would scare the life out of some toons AND get the duo in trouble. She can't hold in the desperate laughs that echo from her.

"LOHOHOHOOEY! QUIHIT IHIHIT!!"

"Hmm... nah~ You're having too much fun~" he said in reply as she thrashed. "Say... How do you have even more fun?~"

That's when Looey got an idea. Connie froze.

"Wait... you better not be doing what I think you're about to do..."

"Oh?~ Your tail is a good spot?~"

Connie simply ceased to function. She stammered a bit, trying to explain, but Looey went in for the kill.

"You can't do this to me! Wait, no—HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Very abnormal for her.

"Gotcha~"

Her tail thrashed beneath him as he did his job with a smirk, enjoying every second of this moment.

"NAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!"

"Tickle tickle tickle~"

"YOU LITTLE—SHUHUHUT UHUHUHUP!!"

After a bit of struggling, Looey finally gave in to Connie's pleas and stopped. After regaining her composure, Connie would smile and then hop up, Looey panicking slightly.

"Since you did the same to me... it's only fair I give you a piece of your own medicine, you know~ Targeting me like that~" she said in a singsong tone.

Looey backed up, bracing for impact. And just as Connie was about to go invisible...

"Alright everyone, lights out. Time to go to bed. Chop chop."

Connie groaned. "Argh... dang it."

All she did was settle down and get ready to get out of his room. She smirked, thinking of how he can get him back.

"You better be ready, Balloon Boy. We're settling this tomorrow," she said as she left.

"We'll see about that, Ghost Girl."

She shot him one last playful glare before leaving the place. Looey simply leapt up and got in his bed.

A rivalry just started, and he was SO gonna settle it.

--------------

~🎈👻~

A/N: Lee Connie for lifer here. I might have gone overboard on the part where Connie was getting it. Because Con-LEE. Snap.

[17magpiesinatrenchcoat]

I had surgery today and I vaguely remember yapping about nine sols to the nurse when I woke up😭 guys am I cooked

[ghostofsnails]

so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and

[littlelightfish]

Ah... yes... new obsession <3

Close ups under the cut :]

I love them so much I cannot- I cant-

I'm new to the Fandom but I needed to get this guy's out of my head a bit.

I love them. I even forgot they were supposed to be part of an horror game until they make me remember. But they so cute.

Hating the image limit on mobile >:(

[bitchfitch]

Tbh this is more me bitching about once again wasting money on a game I probably won't be able to finish due to cripple-itus but we're going to pretend it's a serious discussion on game design.

So to preface: my vision is fucked. Irrevocably. Like get discounts on insurance levels of fucked. But games, even very difficult ones still Often very doable and fun.

One of my favorite genres is "white dot goes on a combat platforming adventure" Ie metroidvania/soulslikes that either Are hollow knight or heavily inspired by hollow knight

And I just want to compare a Good white dot, against an extremely irritating white dot.

This is yi. He is an edgy cat boy. he is a good white dot.

No matter the amount of bullshit on screen or the background color, you can always quickly find the white dot that is Yi or his lil robe.

This Bo. They are a bad white dot. they look like they'd be a Good white dot, what with the really clear silhouette of their ears and strong red markings

This is Bo in the game.

Bo breaks the number 1 rule of being a white dot: they end up the same color as the background because neat light effects which do look Great, were more important than the ability to find you're guy while doing minute long don't touch the ground style parkour sessions.

Like Hollowknight and Nine Sols, Path of the teal lotus uses a lot of forground and back ground layers to create a very nice sense of depth. However the foreground layers frequently completely cover the lower half of Bo's body. often making them a light colored dot on a noisy light colored back ground.

The fact background and play ground elements are often the same color does not help. Nor does the fact the camera is . Bad. it just is. It zooms in and out in the middle of a screen making it extremely difficult to keep track of an already hard to follow character in a setting where. losing track of your guy means getting sent back to the beginning of a tedious boss fight or a prolonged parkour session (which to be clear, would be good if you could track your player character. not the bosses though. They are. bad. they need to attack faster, have more than 2 attacks, or at least have a fraction of the HP they do. so you're not just standing around waiting for them to decide to start up another attack to open a vulnerability window.)

And I'm just going to say it, Someone on the team knew the game had this issue. Because they gave you a fix that doesn't work. You can adjust brightness, contrast, and saturation. None of these fix the issue of Bo disappearing. The game is so blown out that no combination of settings produce a result where bo is consistently visible, and also you can tell whats background and what's something you can stand on.

Anyways Demos are an accessibility feature, and when they're not available don't be lazy like I was and just pirate it. If the devs aren't going to give you a way to check if their shit is busted or not, you'll just have to find one yourself.

Anyways anyways tldr absolutely Gorgeous game, Should've been a silent animated movie instead because it's nearly unplayable and the translators either did a Really bad job, or the writers just didn't get why the jokes they're copying were funny

[orcelito]

Hey Guys Check This Shit Out

Commission of my oc Nico by @thehungreecat !!

And just in time for his birthday on the 13th, too ☺️☺️☺️ this summer will mark 10 years since I first made him, so it's rly nice to have something to commemorate him with 🥺🥺🥺

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

[donaviolet]

Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps

[bumblingbabooshka]

One of the best Voyager scenes to indicate Tuvok & Neelix's dynamic and how I think Tuvok is just as if not more 'annoying'(positive) than Neelix is when Neelix pours Tuvok a fresh squeezed glass of a fruit juice blend and Tuvok's like (paraphrased) "I don't want to drink this." and Neelix is like "Can you please try it?" and Tuvok's like "I don't want to, you're really bad at this sort of thing. It's going to taste bad." and Neelix says that Ensign XYZ said she LOVED it, she even had a second glass! And Tuvok says Ensign XYZ could drink poison without a second thought and Neelix is like "Tuvok could you please just TRY it? Just try a little SIP of it PLEASE??" and Tuvok sighs and rolls his eyes and sniffs it before taking a sip and it turns out he loves it. Turns out it tasted good actually. And then after all that Neelix tries to talk to him over eggs (which he's again cooking fresh for him) and Tuvok tells him he doesn't wanna hear "the life history of his breakfast." Absolutely insufferable this man I would have burned his eggs on PURPOSE!!!!