#and like that’s all good and great but it’s not what *i* relate to you know what i mean

[whetstonefires]

i would argue that that's still missing the point, which is more or less practicing the skill of evaluating that kind of situation in a way that's not entirely based on knee-jerk fear and tunnel vision.

you don't lift weights on a weight machine because life provides so many situations wherein it's important to move a set amount of weight a couple of feet upward by means of a pulley, but because having made a habit of doing that kind of controlled motion will prepare you for various other load-bearing tasks without, ideally, causing you joint injuries in the meanwhile.

similarly, you don't poke at thought-experiments like the trolley problem in the anticipation of encountering a trolley problem later and already having an answer set to go, but because when you find yourself in a corner after poking your way through a bunch of inflexible hypotheticals you are much more likely to recognize the kind of corner you're in within a useful timeframe and be able to go:

'what do I want to do right now? why? is that a good reason?'

and like. knowing that you're someone who will respond to such a situation by trying persistently to find an alternative is useful knowledge all on its own!

if it comes down to it, knowing this about yourself means that in such a corner you may (for example) know to immediately assign yourself a certain amount of time to try that and then, should you fail, use up the rest on selecting the most acceptable of the unacceptable options you were originally able to observe. as opposed to spending the entire time panicking about the absence of a good option and ultimately doing nothing by default, not even as a conscious choice-not-to-choose, but in paralysis.

the skill of getting good at making the sacrifice is not the point of the trolley problem, or related hypotheticals. the skill of being able to think while under pressure to make a horrible choice is.

i mean, it's also to a great extent just the sort of thought-experiment that exists to give people useful reference points to talk about complex ethical dilemmas, because philosophy is largely an art of definitions, but inasmuch as it's about building individual practical skills it's about having done sufficient groundwork on what your personal values actionably are that, in an emergency situation, you have a shot at acting on them.

people frequently don't.

The root of my frustration with a lot of trolley problem discourse is that 'What does it mean to act ethically in a world where shitty luck and the actions of strangers you'll never meet have left you without any purely good options?' is, like, possibly one of the most relevant and universally applicable questions moral philosophy might help answer.

Saying it's a bad question because it's the negligent trolley engineer's fault literally exactly misses the point - yes how to deal on a personal level with systems and infrastructure that designed without much care for human collateral damage is an incredibly useful thing to think about!

[hotdogmchiggin]

Aw shit they put the horrors of late stage capitalism into my Pokémon Mystery Dungeon 😔

(Mostly) Based on the mouthwashing dev QnA about each character’s favorite Pokémon. Couldn’t get the idea of throwing them into PMD out of my head.

Typical job at the Poke Express Guild:

Some more bonus drawings below

Jimmy secretly wishes he was a mega rayquaza but he’s just a poser who’s obsessed with pikachu’s popularity and position as the mascot. So. A mimikyu.

Daisuke is a zorua because it’s the closest to weregarurumon and I think it matches his vibes. Just a guy who causes a little bit o mischief here n there :)

I did make Daisukes weregarurumon wishes come true (No mega rayquaza for jim)

I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with the background so I threw them into the dungeon. WOE upon ye

[sillysiluriforme]

Oh you made marc kinda scary! Interesting choice making these two a year older instead of younger which would really change their dynamics with other characters. Also interested in the choice of boxing of all things. Is this related to Felix? Since they’re both bird boys are you gonna tape knives to their legs and make them kick each other

Yeah ! Since the core 4 have been aged up a year (15-16) I had to pick between keeping Marc younger and not have him appear at all in the comics (at 14 he would still be in his last year of middle school) or age him up a little.

Now for the boxing thing my thought process was : he can’t have a creative scholarship since his episode was about being comfortable expressing his writing and we know he’s a great football player, but he can’t have a scholarship for being really good at it— realistically he would just go to a school that specializes in that.

So I asked myself what is another chicken like sport ? Boxing !

I’m fond of how hyperfeminine fans tend to draw Marc and I still wanted to keep that element in his design.

He’s a little more confident here ! He’s still very socially awkward and very gnc but other students tend to leave him alone about it because he’s 6’1 and has cauliflower ear.

I think Lt!Marc would demolish Felix in a fair fight.

TLDR:

[cosmerelists]

Should You Invite These Cosmere Characters to Boardgame Night?

As requested by anon. :)

I've done two boardgame-related posts before this (I love boardgames): Favorite Boardgames of Each Knights Radiant Order and Should You Invite the Shards to Boardgame Knight?

In this list, allow me to provide some advice about whether or not you should invite these Cosmere characters to your next boardgame night!

1. Adolin: Yes

Adolin is a delight at every social gathering. He brings wine that somebody at the store told him was good. He has fun with every game whether he wins or loses. By the end of the night, he is somehow the best friend of each individual guest.

2. Shallan: Yes

Is she cheating? Maybe. But she makes a lot of puns and you know that if she tries to cheat TOO much, Radiant will stop her.

3. Kaladin: No

He wins everything. It's annoying. He joined Settlers of Katan twenty minutes late and STILL won. How does he do it???

4. Kelsier: Yes

At first you were admittedly intimidated, as Kelsier kept smiling to himself and saying things like "Just wait until I reveal my Master Plan!" But actually, he kinda loses games...a lot. Keeps smiling, though, so you assume he's having a good time! What a good sport!

5. Vin: Only if you like losing

Like Kaladin, Vin wins all. the. time. But unlike Kaladin, she doesn't come late & then win in a blaze of sudden glory, no. She simply...destroys you. Continuously and brutally for the entire night.

6. Harmony: No

No offense to Harmony, who's a good dude 'n' all, but man, he takes FOREVER to make his next move. It's like--we're playing Sorry. You either move forward 10 or back 1. It's just two choices! How is he thinking for like 10 billion years??

7. Lopen: Maybe

Lopen likes to play around and tease people. He MAY mock you a little too much when your attempt to "Draw 2" him backfires and you find yourself drawing 8 cards in Uno... but other than that, he's a good time.

8. Blushweaver: Maybe

You didn't realize checkers even COULD be played as "Strip Checkers."

9. Tien: Yes

Tien is mostly concerned with making sure that everyone else is having a good time. Even after he gets killed during a round of "Werewolves," he continues to grin and encourage the rest of you to have a good time. W-Wait, why do you suddenly feel like crying?

10. Skar: Yes

Like Tien, Skar also seems chiefly concerned with making sure everyone else has a good time. Bonus: he's GREAT at explaining the rules!

11. Lightsong: Depends on how competitive you are

Ask yourself this: if there's a guy there who wins every game despite clearly and loudly not understanding the rules, would that be fun? If yes, then go for it. If no, then don't invite Lightsong--he doesn't understand how to play Hearts and he doesn't care to, yet he has shot the moon TWICE.

12. Nale: No

No one likes a rules lawyer.

13. Shai: Yes

Shai knows all of these obscure, complicated games that actually turn out to be really fun!

14. Hoid: No

Hoid knows all of these obscure, complicated games and while he does explain the rules, you can't shake the feeling that he's actually playing by an entirely different set of rules that he's not being totally honest about...

15. Elend: Yes

Elend was born to participate in board game nights weekly.

16. Telsin: No

She cheats 100% of the time. You didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to cheat in Connect 4, but she somehow found a way...

17. Raboniel: Well...

Raboniel is ENORMOUSLY competitive and cares very deeply about winning...but she also respects the game. She is surprisingly gracious about losing despite her eyes blazing with the heat of ten million suns as she slapped down that 7-letter word in Scrabble. Yet when you responded with your own, better 7-letter word, clinching the victory, you could tell that she respected you for it.

...But on the other hand, you've been clammy with fear sweats for 45 minutes now.

[shesnake]

hi Deah do you have any film related books that you would recommend or ones that you personally have found interesting/taught you valuable info about understanding and or making movies appreciation and thanks in advance if you do have some ur open to sharing 😌

hello! I should really expand my reading but some titles I do like from my areas of interest:

In the Blink of An Eye (Walter Murch) - as an editor this is my bible it really breaks down everything I love about film personally and gives me lot of inspiration

Film Art: An Introduction (Bordwell & Thompson) - I had to read a most of this in the early years of my degree and if you don't know a lot whole lot about film it's genuinely very helpful learning cinematic techniques and languages. I think it's also really great at showing what it is that makes hollywood/western cinema work for mainstream audiences which, if you're serious about film, I think is very important to learn regardless of of how limited one might think that world is + they release new editions every couple of years to include up-to-date examples on newer movies

New Queer Cinema: The Director's Cut (B. Ruby Rich) and also The Celluloid Closet (Vito Russo) - very obvious, but still very important to understanding lgbt cinema history and achievements. they're not the only books but they're the most accessible ones to start with.

Monsters in the Closet: Homosexuality and the Horror Film (Benshoff) - book on queer-coding in horror from the 90s which DEFS needs an update but I think is still good.

It Came In The Night: Queer Reflections on Horror (Vallese) - got this as a gift and have unfortunately not read yet but I believe it IS the update for the above listed book I've been waiting for + the contributors are excellent

The Monstrous Feminine & The Return of the Monstress Feminine (Barbara Creed) - wish this was a bit more diverse but still makes great points about women in cinema

Slow Cinema (Tiago & Jorge) - collection of essays about 'slow cinema' and filmographies by directors like Apichatpong Weerasethakul, Tsai Ming-liang, Lav Diaz etc

Reality Hunger (David Shields) - not fully focused on film but a great manifesto and gives you good background if you're thinking of getting into experimental film/media

I also really love review compilation books by critics! The Great Movies by Roger Ebert taught me a lot when I was teenager (unpacks the filmbro canon VERY well) and also Jim Ridley collection People Only Die of Love In Movies

+ love when there are 'movie companion'/visual guide books of my favourite films. I especially love the one for treasure planet and also recently A Vast Pointless Gyration of Gas and Rocks Oh My GoD the full title is so long but it's for everything everywhere all at once.

also I read a lot of source material for book adaptation films because I like to one-up everything I watch + adaptation as an art form fascinates me seeing which parts of a narrative work and don't work between mediums, often giving me a greater appreciation for one or both.

some magazines/publications I like to check out every once in a while: Little white lies, metro magazine (australia), senses of cinema, cahiers du cinema, sight & sound, the film stage

[kingkaizen]

𝓭𝓪𝓭!𝓰𝓸𝓳𝓸 𝓼𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓼

∘ desc: moments with your shared daughter *christmas edition*

∘ ft: gojo

∘ includes: christmas traditions (also other winter related activities for anyone who does not celebrate christmas). happy holidays <3

Decorating 

You’re inside the warm, cozy living room with your daughter, who’s carefully hanging ornaments on the lower branches of the Christmas tree. You can’t help but smile at her tiny, concentrated face as she proudly shows you her latest placement, slightly crooked but utterly perfect.

“Where’s Daddy?” she suddenly asks, glancing around as if Gojo might jump out from behind the tree.

You pause, realizing you haven’t heard his usual playful remarks in a while. “Good question, sweetie.”

Stepping outside, you’re greeted by a sight that’s equal parts alarming and hilarious. There he is—your husband—half hanging off the roof, a string of Christmas lights tangled around his torso as if he spun around in them. He’s muttering to himself, trying to clip the lights in place while haphazardly balancing on the edge.

“Satoru!” you yell, rushing forward. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

He turns at the sound of your voice, flashing that signature smug grin, as if dangling from a rooftop is the most normal thing ever. “I’m making our house the brightest on the block! What do you think?”

“I think you’re going to break your neck!” you shout back, torn between exasperation and laughter.

Your daughter runs outside to see what’s going on and gasps. “Daddy, are you flying like Santa?”

Gojo puffs out his chest, clearly inspired by her awe. “Exactly, sweetheart! Daddy’s doing Santa prep work. But don’t tell anyone—it’s top secret.”

Just as he says this, the clip he was trying to secure snaps free, sending him sliding down the roof. You shriek, but he somehow lands on his feet in the snow with all the grace of a cat, arms flung out dramatically.

“I meant to do that!” he declares proudly, though his hair is covered with snow and his shirt is half untucked.

Your daughter shrieks with laughter, while you sigh, rubbing your temples. “Satoru, next time just use a ladder, or maybe for some help.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he teases, winking at you.

We have Santa at Home

The mall was bustling with holiday cheer, kids lined up around every corner to meet Santa Claus. You thought it’d be a great idea to bring your daughter for a quick picture and get some last minute shopping done, but, of course, your husband had other plans.

“Why waste time in a boring line for some fake Santa when you’ve got the real deal right here?” Gojo says with a smug grin, pointing at himself.

You raise an eyebrow. “The real deal? Last I checked, Santa doesn’t have snow-white hair and no beard, honey.”

“Details, details,” he waves you off. “Just wait. She’s going to love this.”

Later that evening, you’re finishing up some wrapping when you hear a loud “Ho ho ho!” coming from the living room. You walk in to see Gojo fully decked out in a Santa suit—complete with a pillow stuffed under the jacket to make him completely look the part. Your daughter’s eyes grow wide as she gasps.

“Santa?!” she squeals, running over to him.

Gojo crouches down, his voice deeper and exaggerated, “Well, hello there, little one! What’s your name?”

“Hana”, she replies with a giggle, inching closer to her dressed up father.

“What a pretty name for an adorable little one like you! Have you been a good girl this year?”

She nods so enthusiastically it’s a miracle her head doesn’t fly off. “The best girl!”

The evening turns into an impromptu Christmas celebration. Gojo stays in character as he hands her a small “early gift” and lets her climb onto his lap for pictures. But as the hours tick on, the novelty starts to wear off—for him, at least.

“Okay, kiddo,” he says, tugging at the itchy beard. “Santa’s got to go back to the North Pole now.”

“Nooo!” she wails, grabbing his red coat. “Santa, stay,” she exclaims, jutting her lip out in a silent beg.

Gojo glances at you helplessly as your daughter’s big, watery eyes work their magic. You cross your arms, smirking. “You wanted to be the real deal, remember?”

He sighs dramatically, flopping back onto the couch. “Fine, Santa will stay a little longer. But only because I love cookies—uh, I mean, I love you.”

Your daughter giggles and climbs onto his lap again, happily chattering about what she wants for Christmas. You can’t help but laugh as Gojo leans back, already over it but trapped by his own antics.

Later, when she finally falls asleep, he collapses next to you, yanking off the Santa hat. “Next year, we’re going to the mall.”

“Sure, Santa,” you tease, planting a kiss on his cheek.

Baking

The smell of sugar and vanilla wafted through the kitchen as you and your daughter stood side by side at the counter, carefully cutting out festive shapes from the cookie dough.

“Are these enough for Santa, Mommy?” she asked, holding up a slightly misshapen star.

“More than enough, cutie. But maybe make one extra—just in case Santa gets really hungry,” you reply with a knowing smile.

She giggles, carefully placing her creation onto the baking sheet. By the time the cookies are in the oven, she’s bouncing with excitement, chattering about how Santa will love her “masterpieces.” After they’re done, she insists on arranging them perfectly on a plate, complete with a glass of milk and a tiny carrot for the reindeer.

Hours later, the house is silent, your daughter fast asleep upstairs, when you creep downstairs for a midnight check. The soft glow of the Christmas tree lights the room, and there’s Satoru, already at the plate, milk in hand and a cookie halfway to his mouth.

“What are you doing?” you whisper, arms crossed.

He freezes, looking like a child caught stealing from the cookie jar. “Santa’s on a break,” he says with a grin, waving the cookie at you.

Rolling your eyes, you join him, plucking a cookie from the plate. “If Santa eats too many, our daughter might notice.”

“She’s too busy being the cutest thing in the world to count cookies,” he says, taking a big bite. Then, with a teasing grin, he adds, “Besides, I’m doing her a favor. This one was burnt on the bottom.”

You laugh quietly and lean against him, enjoying the peaceful moment as the two of you share cookies by the light of the tree.

“Think she’ll notice the bite marks?” you ask, glancing at the carrot on the plate.

Gojo smirks. “Nah, but I’ll gnaw on it if it helps sell the story.”

“Please don’t,” you say, laughing harder, but you know he probably will.

The two of you finish your stolen snack, leaving just enough for your daughter to try for herself. 

Opening Presents

The first rays of morning sunlight peek through the curtains as you hear the sound of little feet padding down the hallway. Moments later, your daughter bursts into the room, her face lit up with excitement.

“It’s Christmas! Mommy, Daddy, wake up! Santa came!” she exclaims, practically vibrating with energy.

You groggily sit up, laughing as she grabs Satoru’s arm and tries to tug him out of bed. “C’mon, Daddy! You have to see!”

Satoru, ever the dramatic one, groans like he’s being dragged from the depths of sleep. “Santa came? Are you sure? Maybe we should check if he left any presents for me,” he teases, scooping her up in one swift motion.

You all head to the living room together, where the Christmas tree sparkles with lights, and a mountain of presents sits waiting. Your daughter gasps, clapping her hands. “He came! He really came!”

The morning is a blur of laughter, torn wrapping paper, and wide-eyed amazement as she opens each gift. Every reaction is pure joy—her squeal of delight when she unwraps the toy she’s been dreaming of, the way her little hands hug a stuffed animal like it’s the most precious treasure in the world.

Satoru, always one to ham it up, acts just as surprised as she does. “Wow, Santa must’ve known you’ve been such a good girl this year!” he says, ruffling her hair.

When she opens a gift that’s clearly from you and him—a cute kids makeup set—you can’t help but laugh as she insists on doing everyone’s makeup immediately. Gojo groans, claiming he looks ridiculous, but he complies when she bats her big, sparkling eyes at him.

At one point, she finds a small, poorly wrapped package with “To Daddy, Love Hana” scrawled in crayon. She beams as he opens it, revealing a handmade bracelet strung with colorful plastic beads.

“Wow, this is the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” he says, slipping it on his wrist like it’s pure gold.

As the morning winds down, you all collapse on the couch in a pile of wrapping paper and contented smiles. Your daughter is happily playing with her toys on the floor, and Satoru leans over, kissing your cheek.

“Merry Christmas,” he murmurs.

“Merry Christmas,” you reply, your heart full as you watch your little family bask in the magic of the day.

Snow day

You wake up to the world outside transformed into a winter wonderland, a thick blanket of snow covering everything. Your daughter is already at the window, pressing her tiny hands against the glass.

“Mommy! Daddy! Look! It snowed so much!” she squeals, spinning around with excitement.

Satoru peeks out from under the covers, pretending to groan. “It’s so early… Are you sure we have snow?”

Your daughter runs over and starts tugging on his arm. “Yes, Daddy! Hurry up! We have to go play!”

A little while later, you’re all bundled up in coats, scarves, and mittens, stepping into the crisp, cold air. Satoru immediately scoops up a handful of snow and throws it in the air like confetti. The first task of the day is building a snowman. Your daughter diligently rolls the snow into uneven spheres while Satoru adds his signature touch: sunglasses, a scarf tied like it belongs on a runway, and a lopsided carrot nose.

“Behold! The coolest snowman in town,” he declares, striking a dramatic pose next to it.

“Daddy, you’re so silly,” your daughter giggles, clapping her hands.

After the snowman is complete, the chaos begins. Satoru sneakily forms a snowball and tosses it at you, hitting your shoulder. “Snowball fight!” he yells, already running for cover behind the snowman.

“Oh, you’re so getting it now,” you laugh, scooping up snow as your daughter gleefully joins in.

The backyard becomes a battlefield of flying snowballs and shrieks of laughter. Your daughter targets Satoru relentlessly, who dramatically flops into the snow every time he’s hit. “Ahh, I’ve been defeated! Not the face!” he cries, pretending to surrender.

But, of course, he never stays down for long, launching surprise attacks and tackling you both into soft piles of snow.

Eventually, you’re all exhausted, your cheeks flushed and your hands freezing. Satoru picks up your daughter and spins her around before carrying her inside, declaring, “Victory is mine!”

Back in the warmth of the house, you all gather around the kitchen table with steaming mugs of hot chocolate topped with marshmallows. Your daughter leans her head against you, still beaming.

“That was the best snow day ever,” she says sleepily.

Satoru grins, ruffling her hair. “Of course it was. Your dad makes everything epic.”

You roll your eyes but can’t help smiling, knowing this day will be one of those precious memories you’ll all treasure.

© kingkaizen | do not copy, steal, or duplicate!

[tangledinink]

Hi 👋

I just wanted to tell you that your art and au's make me smile 🩵✨ what's your favorite work of art that you've created this year?

thank you so much! ; w ; that makes me happy! and i think maybe my favorite thing was the swanatello finale? / just the au in general! i didn't make the entire thing in 2024, but i did finish it this year, and it felt absolutely insane (in a mostly good way...!) to actually finish the project... i miss it a lot sometimes, but i'm really happy with how it ended and would much rather give a story a satisfying conclusion than drag it around like a popular tv sitcom on it's 11th season, if that makes sense.

thank you!!!! ; w ; this makes me happy and i'm glad you like it!!!!! i need to make more clover crown content... soon... it's coming... i promise... @arelenforyadarlin

thank you! ; 0 ; i'm very glad that i did it justice! i am pretty forgetful due to my adhd, but i also tried to do a lot of research along the way about more pervasive memory issues more akin to what donnie was dealing with, so i'm very happy that it all came across well...!

you guys all have permission to stab gemini!big mama if you ever see her <3 also thank you!

i work at a 3D printing company! i do all the silly administration and paperwork stuff, and, despite failing math in high school, some of the accounting stuff, too.

i KNOWWW, they're stealing my fucking brand :/// feels legally actionable to me tbh. they'll be hearing from my lawyers... @thejade-forest

THE GEMINI TWINS CAN DO IT AND THEY BELIEVE IN YOU-- YOU CAN DO IT, TOO!!!! also shaking ur hand re: period-related medical issues and suffering. also training in MMA is incredibly badass?! :000 NICE.

Technically speaking, no. However, the Hidden City Police did find the twins just wandering around the city-- and since she's got, like, 80% of the police force on her payroll, she of course heard about it right away... @serendipitous-posts

GOOD JOB NAILING THE PRETEXT :D I'm glad my silly lil AU was helpful, hehe :3c

I'm originally from Massachusetts! My favorite color is pink and I've been making art for most of the my life. One of the main things driving me is that I just really love stories and characters and wanna force people to pay attention to all the silly lil situations happening to make-believe people in my head. Don't think I could pick a favorite fanart, since they are all so beloved... ; w ; Any version of Donnie is my favorite. I wanna go live in the Pokemon World, I think I try to find a healthy balance between 'doing my own thing' and 'is there an audience for this content?' Also! Great question! Uhhh... for TMWN, what truly started me on that road was that I Didn't Wanna Have To Draw Turtles. For the Gemini, I was very much inspired by the Even More of a Disaster AU! And for Swanatello, as I've stated in the past... I just wanted to make a silly donniesona with a pun for a name... and then things got out of hand... @sweetnsoursinger

nooo don't ooze my tortoiseeee i'm not ready to be a parentttttt i don't wanna live in the sewerssssss noooooooooooo-- @thebloodyheartgirl

emd two is way less insufferable than one--

(it's more like... two and donnie have a lot of common ground with science and mystical studies, so they are capable of getting along pretty well...! and leo automatically feels some sense of protection and affection for two just because... well... he's a version of donnie!

but. uhhh. one... not so much. it is... complicated...)

it was FINE... i mean. it SUCKED, he didn't LIKE it, it took the whole ass day and was painful and exhausting and scary. but there were no huge medical scares or complications or anything, so in the grand scheme, it went pretty smoothly? not that they had much to compare it to...

leo's went WAY smoother though, much quicker and easier than donnie's, (plus just one egg!) and donnie was so fucking annoyed at him for it. @jollycrowntragedy

It's based on their actual genetic/physical ages, for the most part! For Mikey and Venus, Draxum already knew exactly how old all of the turtles were when he got them, (he's a scientist, for goodness sake,) so he could roughly translate that into their 'post-mutation' ages, with Mikey being a bit older. For Raph, Leo, and Donnie, it was a lot more guesswork based for their respective caretakers... The fact that Donnie is the 'older twin,' for example, is completely arbitrary.

Jeni joined the Draxum family at a later date than the rest of the turtles and wasn't present during the original mutation process. She was mutated and 'adopted' as an infant about two years after the initial mutation event-- when Mikey was around three and Venus was about two. @kingofgemini

I do! Here's a post I made previously about the comic making procress for Gemini-- some things have changed a little since then, but most of it is pretty much the same...! If you're looking for the textures specifically, I'd check out the link I've got in the bottom for True Grit Texture Supply, which is where I got a bunch of my brushes. (If you sign up for their email list, then they'll send you a bunch of brushes for free, including a lot of the ones that I use in my comics!) @avisminutia

THANK YOU... ; _ ; THIS MAKES ME VERY VERY HAPPY... I AM GLAD...

[magics-neptunes-things]

Lightning Love

Hi guys!

Like I said, after seeing Steph in that outfit I just COULDN'T not write something for her.

It's longer than I expected to be honest, but I hope you will like it!

TW : Some Angst maybe, Alcohol consumption, mention of breakup

It’s always strange to be at a wedding while your ex-girlfriend just ends things with you. Until early November, you were due to come here with Leila Ouahabi, your former girlfriend.

She broke up with you after an eight-month relationship but, with the reasons she gave you, you can’t really be mad at her. She accused you of not being as involved in your relationship as you should have been after so long. It was true that with her being in Manchester and you in London, you aren’t able to see each other very often.

But it was good for you, you had fun dates, you laughed a lot, and you had good moments with her.

Leila was right to say that though, because the real reason for your lack of involvement is probably very related to the fact that you are dead in love with your Australian teammates, Steph Catley.

And seeing her today at Emily and Kat’s wedding doesn’t help.

Steph is absolutely stunning, and you have trouble looking somewhere else.

You never told anyone about your crush on her, you never wanted to make things strange with anyone. Steph was in love with Dean, happier than ever and that is all you want for her. You never had a talk with her about her preference before she met Dean, but for you Steph is as straight as a ruler.

So, you totally have not a single chance with her.

You were happy for her when you learned about her engagement and genuinely sad when you learned that her and Dean broke up.

And right now, as you are looking at her laughing with Caitlin and Katie, you just can feel your heart clenched. Maybe it’s the consumption of alcohol that makes you feel sadder than you actually did. It doesn’t stop you from accepting another glass of champagne when a waiter comes for you.

“You alright?”

You turn your head towards Kristie, Sam’s girlfriend, you are sitting next to you. You promised to Sam to look for her while she takes some pictures with some of your friends, but you probably weren't good company after all.

“Yeah, sorry” you turn yourself towards the blonde. “Do you need something to drink?”

You realise that her glass is empty when you glance at it and that the waiter didn’t bring something alcohol free. With her being pregnant and the heath around today, you hope that he will get fired soon.

“I’m alright” she smiles.

“No, please drink at least water. Sam is going to kill me otherwise”

Kristie smiles when you fill her glass with cold water and it’s only two minutes before Sam comes back with Steph and Mackenzie Arnold.

“Have you been treated well?” Sam smirks towards you. “I’ve heard that she doesn’t know how to treat girls right”

You roll your eyes and let yourself go against the back of your chair. You know that Leila hasn’t said anything bad against you, your breakup was pretty chill, and you are still talking from time to time. But the woso-world is a small world and some of her friends probably made some assumptions.

“What do you mean?” Mackenzie asks while Steph frowns.

“I’m just saying what I’ve heard” Sam says, raising her hands defensively.

“I’m sure that is wrong. Y/N is the cutest of all of you”

Steph statements and the defensive hands she puts on your arm make you feel warm inside. And stupid to react like a teenage boy.

Sam smirks before inviting Kristie to go dancing, leaving you with Mackenzie and Steph alone at the table. It’s a little bit depressing to see all these couples to be honest. A moment of silence floats between you three, all of you probably lost in their thoughts.

You know that Mackenzie broke up with her girlfriend some weeks ago too, or that her girlfriend broke up with her. Either way, it’s never really great to be in that position for a wedding.

“Well, that’s surely depressing” Mackenzie finally states, looking at you three.

You can’t help but giggle at that, Steph smiling next to you. You know that there are more single people there, by the way where the hell is Alanna?

“You don’t see someone who might be interesting for you? Weddings leading to another wedding are great love stories” you say, looking at Mackenzie.

“No, and I’m not sure that I want to” she sights softly. “On another hand, Steph probably could try something with the way our waiter looks at her every time he is near”

You hold a grimace of disgust thinking about that waiter and glance towards Steph, to see that she has the same expression you just retained.

“No thanks” she mumbles.

“She deserves someone better than him anyway” you add, before taking another sip of your drink.

You feel Steph’s gaze on you, but you distract yourself by looking at Caitlin and Katie dancing a little further than the other people in the crowd.

“I’m going to see if I can find Lany” Mackenzie says before standing up.

You watch her leave before turning your head towards Steph. She was already looking at you and you are glad that the night has fallen otherwise she would have seen the red colouring your cheeks.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” she asks softly.

“Sure” you accept with a smile.

You stand up and have some trouble finding your balance, between your heels and the champagne you drank in probably too much quantity. You feel stupid at first, before feeling Steph grabs your arm to give you more balance.

“Are you okay?” she laughs.

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t stand for a long time and the Champagne kept coming back in my glass” you smirk.

She laughs again and you feel the habitual feeling in your stomach. At first you were sad to learn that Steph signed to Arsenal and not Tottenham where you are playing with Charlie. But then you realised too that it’s probably better like this. You wouldn’t have been able to hide the reality of your feelings in another way.

It’s already too hard to do it when you are at Australian camp. Thank God Kyra is always here to distract her, you are pretty sure that other than that you would have been caught since a long time.

You silently walk next to her, your arms always linked together. You like it that way, feeling her against you without you being the one making the first move.

Steph and you are pretty close, you are the same age and started to play at the same time. You played together in Melbourne until she left for the USA, and you went to Tottenham. With her being in London from 2020 it’s easier for you to see each other, usually for walking Calvin or drinking coffee.

“Seriously, how are you dealing with your breakup?” Steph suddenly asks.

Surprised, you turn your head in her direction before shrugging. You didn’t really talk about it with her to be honest. Leila broke up with you early November, then you had all of those games and after that Christmas break was there. It is only thanks to the wedding that you are able to see her before January.

“I’m okay, for real. It wasn’t that serious from my side, and I think she understands it. I liked her but I wasn’t in love, you know” you shrug.

“You were in a relationship without being in love?”

You can hear Steph’s surprise and almost discontent in her tone. You know how that girl is romantic, and you cringe a little after saying what you said.

“I was hoping to really fall in love with her” you precise. “I mean she’s funny, beautiful and everything… But I don’t know. Something was missing”

“I think I can understand” Steph says slowly.

“It was comfortable, but we weren’t meant to be”

She nods and you keep walking in silence a little more. You are in the vineyards now, the noise of the party coming from far behind you. It’s quiet and peaceful here. You like it.

“What about you?” you ask quietly.

“I’m okay, I think. I wasn’t expecting this to be honest, but I can’t fight against it”

“Are you still in love with him?”

You realise when Steph looks at you how inappropriate your question is. You are not her mother, her sister and even her best friend. You are just a friend who has nothing to say in her relationships.

“I’m sorry, I –“

“I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore” Steph cuts you.

By then you stopped walking, and you are facing each other. With the sun going down Steph gets ride of her sunglasses but she’s still stunning. You could look at her pretty face all day long anyway.

You weren’t expecting an answer, so you shut your mouth and let her talk.

“I don’t think I was for a long time now… I can’t say since when, though. It doesn’t mean I don’t have any affection for him, you know? I just fall out of love with him”

She seems sad though and you take all the strength you have in you not to crush her against you. You take her hand back in yours instead, giving her what you hope is a comforting squeeze.

“You will find the right person for you” you smile at her, continuing when she makes a pouty face. “Of course you will. I mean, every single person would be lucky to have you in their life.”

“We’ll see”

You hum, looking at the landscape around you. Em and Kat made a good choice by coming here. It’s really beautiful.

“You’ll find someone too, you know?”

You pout and shrug, not really believing this. In almost ten years you never found someone able to make you forget Steph, it’s not going to change now. You just have to live with the fact that you fall in love with someone straight and will never be able to be happy with her.

You can’t say that to Steph like this, though.

“Want to go back?” you ask.

But Steph shakes her head no and when you look around you spot a bench between two lines of vineyard. You make Steph wait before sitting down, using your jacket to protect her dress.

“Can I ask you a question?” Steph asks a little after.

“Sure” you mumble, looking now at the stars.

But after that there is only silence and you turn your face to Steph, to see that she seems to be thinking about how to tell you what’s in her mind. It attracts your curiosity, and you tilt your head on the side, silently questioning her.

“Don’t take that the wrong way, but… I’ve never seen you really into your girlfriends, you know? Sure, you liked them and treated them well despite what Sam said before, but I never saw you fond of them. Have you really been in love once?”

You sigh softly, now turning your eyes back on the stars. She seems scared about your reaction at her question, but you are not mad. You are more jaded by the situation than something else.

“Once” you finally answer.

“You were in love once?” Steph asks for clarity.

You nod, still without looking at her. You are scared that she would be able to understand if you look her in the eyes.

“With whom?”

“I never told her”

“What? Why?”

Steph seems genuinely surprised and almost concerned by this statement. She sits to be able to lean and be able to look at you correctly, not only the side of your face. It’s hard to ignore her like this and you bite your lip unconsciously when she’s still looking at you.

“It’s complicated, Steph”

“Why?”

“Because it is”

“Is she in a relationship? Is it someone who’s here?”

“Can we please talk about something else?” you whisper.

Realising that she was maybe put too much pressure on your, Steph sits back and seems a little bit embarrassed by her behaviour.

“Of course. I’m sorry”

You give her a small smile. It maybe would be great to able to talk about it to someone, but you don’t know who. All of your close friends are close to Steph, and you don’t want to put them in a complicated situation. You don’t like lies and secrets, even if you keep this one for years now.

“Do you want to go back?”

“Yes, please.”

You totally can do with more alcohol.

Even if you offered her your hand to help her walk in the dark, the way back is filled with silence and just a glance at Steph makes you understand that she’s lost in her thoughts.

You wonder what it is, hoping that she’s not thinking about Dean. That boy has fallen far down in your esteem since her breakup with Steph. You refer to him as “Calvin’s dad”. It amuses Steph though, so it’s probably okay that way.

“Ow, look who took the most beautiful girl away to kiss her in the vineyard?”

Alanna’s voice makes Steph and you jump. You don’t really know which one of Steph or you let the other hand go first, but you blush stupidly.

“Shut up” Steph answers.

You are surprised to see that she seems flustered too, but Steph is taken away from you by Mackenzie for something related to a new cocktail to try. You are a little sad to watch her go away but try to concentrate your attention on something else.

Like the glass Hayley gives you.

********

You watch Steph from afar for the rest of the night, staying with Hayley during this time. You had a lot of fun to be honest, even if you feel a pang of jealousy in your chest every time you see her laughing with Mackenzie.

You haven’t realised that they were so close, to be honest.

At some point of the night, you decide that you are too drunk to stay any longer and take advantage of Clare leaving to do the same thing. After saying goodbye to the married couple, you take your taxi and leave to go back to your hotel room.

You are almost relieved to find the silence here and even if it’s late (or early in the morning) you take the time to take a hot shower. It helps you sober up a little bit. You are still glad to find the softness and the warmth of your bed.

You were almost asleep when someone gently knocks on your door, making you groan in your pillow. But you still get up, opening your door just a little bit to be able to see who it is.

“Steph?” you frown, opening it a little more.

“I didn’t see you leaving” she says, playing with her bag.

“You were busy dancing with Macca” you shrug with a soft smile.

You weren’t jealous at all, of course.

(That’s a lie)

“Do you want to come inside?”

You open the door completely now and after a second of hesitation, Steph comes inside.

“I just wanted to say goodnight” Steph says, sitting on your bed. “And I wanted to be sure that you know you can talk to me about anything, at any time. You know that, right?”

“I know” you smile at her. “Thanks, though”

You are leaning against the desk in front of your bed, looking at her. You are glad that you put an old jersey and a shorty to sleep. Steph is still in her dress, and you love that you are able to look at her longer with this dress.

“And about that girl you are in love with…”

“Mh?”

“It’s not Hayley, is it?”

“No” you laugh. “The problem isn’t for her to be in a relationship. Hayley is just a friend”

You see her looking at you for several seconds, just like if she wants to be sure that you are saying the truth. But you are and she finally smiles again.

“Good. Do I know her?”

You hesitate to answer this time, biting your bottom lip thoughtfully. You know that if you say stop about this conversation at any time, Steph will accept it and talk about something else.

“You do” you finally answer.

“Is she a footballer?”

“She is” you smile.

Steph seems to have fun asking you those questions and you don’t want to suppress her smile. She said earlier that she never saw you fond of someone, it’s only because you aren’t allowed to show it. But you are so whipped.

“And it’s not Hayley” she thinks aloud while you shake your head. “Macca?”

“No” you laugh softly.

“Right, you told me that her relationship state isn’t the problem”

She still seems lost in her thoughts and you smile softly at her before talking again. You really hope that she will forget this conversation after a good night of sleep and having sober up.

“I do. But now you probably should go to bed. You look tired”

“You really know how to talk to women”

Steph rolls her eyes while you help her to get up, making you laugh. You guide her to the door that you open for her, smiling softly.

“You can look tired but still be beautiful, you know?” you point anyway.

She doesn’t answer but smiles before kissing your cheek. You froze, not expecting this gesture now. Your skin tickles you where she kissed you and you have to take all your concentration to stay focused in the moment.

“Sleep well” you say at the same time.

You smile and she giggles before going to her room. You close the door of yours, before letting yourself go against it and taking a big breath. Why is your life so complicated? Why aren’t you able to forget her and have a happy relationship with someone? Leila was great, for example.

Thinking about your ex, you look for your phone several minutes before spotting it in the bottom of your bag. You have several notifications there, including two messages from Steph asking you where you are. They came one hour before and you imagine that it was before she came back to the hotel too.

When you open Leila’s conversation, you see that she was online twenty minutes ago. Probably because it’s the middle of the afternoon in Spain. She went back to her country too to spend Christmas with her family.

You go in your bed again, looking at Leila’s goofy profile picture. After some hesitation, you start to write something like “Hello. I hope you are okay and have a great holiday for now. Can we just please talk about something if you have time?”

After all, Leila understood that you were totally into your relationship with her for a reason. She deserves to know why and maybe talking about it to someone will help you to pass to something else? Leila told you that she was still for you if you needed anything. And right now you really need to talk to someone.

Just after you send it, someone knocks at your door… Again. But you choose not to go answer this time, Steph is safely in her room, and can’t a girl have her beauty sleep?

But the person insists and at the third knock, you finally get up. If it’s Lany asking for a makeup remover, you are going to crush her.

But it’s not her. It’s Steph, again.

She has meanwhile removed her makeup, and her hair is down now. But it’s not what is the first thing you spot. She seems strange.

“Are you okay?” you ask her, frowning.

She doesn’t wait for you to propose to her to enter your room this time, passing in front of you to go inside. But you let her. After all she’s Steph, she can do everything she can.

“The girl you love. She’s a footballer and she’s single, because her relationship status isn’t the problem”

You watch her pacing around in your room, only nodding when she looks up to see your answer. What the hell is happening.

“Your problem is that she’s straight”

It’s not a question, but a statement. She doesn’t say it accusatively either, she makes you think about someone who is exposing his theory about something. You bite your lip when you nod again.

“And it’s not Charlie, is it?”

“No” you whisper.

Charlie is great and beautiful, but a little bit too young maybe. And definitively not Steph, once again. You look at Steph when she takes a big breathing, still not understanding what she’s up to.

“I think I know who it is, then”

“No, you don’t” you giggle softly.

She will never know and that is comforting and depressing at the same time. She’s still wearing this damn dress, and you want to rip your eyes apart for not being able to see her for any longer. She’s so beautiful it hurts.

“I do”

You heard that sentence several hours ago, pronounced by Emily and Kat and you found it cute at this time. But right now, coming from Steph’s mouth it feels strange. Maybe because she’s really close to you now.

“I have one more guess, but you have to tell me if I’m wrong”

“I will”

She’s so close that you can see every detail of her face and tell with certitude that she brushed her teeth too.

You still don’t understand what is happening, but by now she has closed the last centimetres existing between you and before you are able to freak out, she presses her lips against yours.

An uppercut probably might have made you less groggy than that. It was just a small press against your lips, but it was everything and you take a step towards Steph when she takes a step back.

“Maybe your problem isn’t really a problem” the left back whispers at you.

You lose two seconds to look at her deep in her eyes, before kissing her too. You don’t know if you are dreaming or hallucinating because of the alcohol, but it feels real and fucking amazing. Steph kisses you back and you take her against you by her waist.

********

The morning after you need two seconds to remember why you feel so happy and content. But you don’t open your eyes directly, scared to have only dreamed it. You are lying on your side, under the cover still with your pajamas. You didn’t sleep with Steph last night, it was “just” kisses and sweet nothing whispered, before you both fell asleep in your bed.

When you finally slowly open your eyes, you can see that Steph is still here and that she’s already up. The light in the room tells you that it’s probably pretty late, even with the blinds closed.

“Hello” you mumble shyly.

“Hi”

“Did you sleep well?”

Steph only nods and you understand immediately that something is wrong. You feel your stomach squirm uncomfortably. Of course, she would have regrets about it. She was probably at least tipsy last night; you shouldn’t have accepted any kisses from her in this state.

“We still can do it as if nothing happened” you whisper.

She frowns again and you want to erase those lines between her eyebrows with your thumb. At some point last night, she changed her dress for one of your shirts and it’s an unbelievable feeling to see her in one of your clothes.

“Is that what you want?”

“No” you admit before sighing. “But I want you to be comfortable”

“It’s not about yesterday” Steph says before rolling on her back and looking at the ceiling. “I mean, it does, but not exactly”

“Okay?”

You see her take a deep breath, just like yesterday before she kissed you. Waiting for her to talk, you put your head in your hand to have a better look at her. You are nervous, not knowing what to expect at this point.

“You said you love me” she begins and you nod. “So, I assume that what happened last night means something to you”

“It means everything” you whisper.

The smile that is on her face after hearing you saying that is breathtaking. But she is still looking at the ceiling, concentrating on what she wants to tell you.

“I know we have a lot to talk about, but before everything I need to know if you are still involved in any way with Leila Ouahabi?”

You frown at that. You talked about it yesterday at the wedding, so you don’t understand why it is coming back now. But if she still needs reassurances, you will say at every minute if it allows you to have something with her.

“No, I told you yesterday. We are just talking from time to time but that’s all”

You would rather for Steph to look at you, but she’s still looking at the ceiling of your room, her frown deepening.

“In that case, why has she tried to call you several times and sent you messages like Sorry I was busy, What do you want to talk about or Please answer I’m worried?”

Looks like Leila took your message from yesterday in a very serious way.

“Oh… It’s not what you think” you start, but then Steph is turning her head very slowly towards you.

“Those are the exact words Dean told me when I saw the conversation he was having with that girl from his work, the very same he’s going on dates with as we speak”

You feel your face getting soft at her confession. She doesn’t talk a lot about Dean, not wanting for her friends to diabolise him, you think. But it looks like he deserves it finally. You move in the bed to be closer to her, wanting to offer her as much comfort as possible.

“Yesterday after you left my room for the first time, I sent a message to Leila asking her if she was free to talk about something” you explain while sitting up on the bed. “But then before she’s able to answer you came back and… well I hope you remember what happened”

She looks at you for several seconds, scanning your eyes and your face with attention. She’s probably looking for any possibility of lies, but you won’t take it against her.

“I do” she whispers and your mind flies back to yesterday.

“I can show you the conversation if you want to, I have nothing to hide. And I should probably write to Leila to excuse myself” you add, frowning softly.

“No, I – I trust you” she sighs “What did you want to talk about?”

“You” you smile this time.

“Me?”

She seems genuinely surprised by your answer and your smile grows wider. You nod at her and shyly put a strand of hair away from her face.

“Yeah. I needed someone to talk about it. And Leila already understood that I wasn’t really in our relationship for a reason. She was the easier one to talk to, especially because other than Lany, she doesn’t know a lot of Australian people”

“You wanted to talk about your feelings for a girl to one of your exes?”

She seems rather amused now and you realise that I might be a little weird finally. It wasn’t maybe your best idea, but Leila is the only one who came to your mind at that time.

“My feelings about a girl I’ve been in love with forever” you precise with a soft smile. “And that I really want to kiss again, because she’s the most beautiful sigh I’ve ever seen in the morning”

Steph rolls her eyes and smiles, before opening her arms for you. You don’t waste any time before cuddling against her, cupping her cheek before kissing her softly. And just like yesterday, you wouldn’t be able to describe what you feel at every kiss. But you just can’t get enough.

You stop at one point though, when your stomach groans with discontent. It makes Steph laugh and you hide your embarrassment in her neck. Your wild appetite is a big thing, known by a lot of people around you.

“How are you seeing things, back in London?” you ask while you are eating a toast from the meal tray you request at the room service.

“I’m still looking for a flat, I’m living with Beth now and even if Calvin and Myle are great friends I can’t wait to have my own flat”

You nod while looking straight in front of you, munching your toast slowly. You love Steph’s dog, but like everyone around. He’s the best honestly. But that wasn’t really what you were referring to. Steph kept Calvin with her after her breakup, giving it to Dean when she’s away like those days in Australia.

“I’m looking for something in St-Albans, but I could look a little more eastbound maybe?”

You side-eyes her, only to see her looking at you with a knowing smile and you can’t keep yours at bay. Maybe she knows you better than you thought, or maybe she can read you better than you thought.

“That’s a great idea. Like this I could take you easier on a date”

“Oh, do you now?”

She pinches your ribs, making you squeak and almost throw the trail away. After a not very fair tickles fight, you finish on your back with Steph lying on you. You totally could get used to that. It’s Steph's turn to stroke your hair now and you take a look at her before asking what you have in mind.

“Will you say yes? To go on a date with me?”

“Of course. I didn't kiss you last night for nothing. But would you mind taking things slow? I mean – sorry for bringing him now – but I’m not separated for a long time, and I’ve never been with a girl before”

“We will go as slow as you want” you promise her before kissing her.

You feel her smile against your lips as if the feeling of your kiss is as good as it is for you. You like the idea, to be honest.

“Do you want to know a secret?”

Steph whispers and you just hum in answer, distracted by her caresses on your arms.

“I’ve always had a crush on you, but before last night I was saying to myself that it wasn’t something serious. But when I realised yesterday that you might be into me… I don’t know it’s like everything made sense”

“Do you want to know a secret too?” you smirk when she nods “I’ve been in love with you for years. That is the reason why you never saw me fond of someone. It was because I’m fond of you.”

“I love this explanation”

She smiles at you, and you find it hard to breathe easily when she smiles and looks at you like that. You don’t mind hiding your relationship for some time if this is what she needs or waiting for her to be ready to take some steps together. As long as it’s you and her, that’s all that matters.

[genderqueerdykes]

Thank you for your awesome blog

Do you know if a karyotype screening thingie that looks like the average XY thing excludes the possibility of being intersex?

I tried googling it but couldn't find much, my doctor told me that it does, but considering how many times she has been objectively wrong about stuff, I'm not sure if I can believe her.

I have a surgical scar on my lower abdomen since I can remember, and the explanation given by my parents for it sounds odd / unlogical to me, so I'm looking for other explanations until I can rule them out ig

Also my first puberty before I decided to go on hrt was weird because I got like zero facial hair growth despite it being common in my family. (Other changes like height or voice happened tho)

Anygays, sorry if this is a weird ask

I hope you are having a great day

you know, that's a good question!

i do not know much about karyotype screenings at all, but this is something i'd be absolutely fascinated to learn about! i would say that there's a good chance that your doctor is not answering that in good faith, especially if they haven't been a reliable source of information in the past. i don't know everything about how intersex variations relate to chromosomes, but i feel like that's not the end all be all of whether or not someone is intersex. i feel as though there are people out there with "normal" chromosomes that still have intersex variations.

any thoughts about this? i really would appreciate some education here, as this isn't exactly in my wheelhouse currently, but i'd love to read more. i hope we can get you some better info! if you have a scar that doesn't have a good explanation, it's probably good to keep your hunch in mind, because a lot of the times, parents and doctors will make up something to hide what really went on when it comes to intersex reassignment procedures. i hope we can get some more information for you, good luck out there!

[epickiya722]

You know what, over the past few days I have been trying to come to the conclusion of how I truly feel about Yuji and his family and everything I say here may come from a place of bias (since Yuji is my favorite character) and I'm not saying I'm right about anything because these are my feelings, not facts.

(Some of you clearly need to learn the difference.)

You might consider what I say to be a "hot or cold take", an "unpopular opinion", whatever, I don't care. I don't even care for you to agree with me because at the end of the day, you have your own opinion as I have mine.

Just thoughts, these are just thoughts I wanted to share.

Starting off with Yuji, I will say that he is still my favorite of JJK, there's no changing that. And coming from a Yuji fan, the direction that was taken with Yuji and his family... I can't say I actually hate it.

I'm still processing, but I'll say that it's rather... unique and interesting.

We all joke about how Yuji has a complicated family tree (but who doesn't) and all, but it's probably one of his character aspects that has came to plague my mind over and over but in a good way.

I love that Yuji's character isn't really banked on a "legacy". He is just a kid who got wrapped up in jujutsu and just so happened to be related to a rather odd group of people.

Yuji's most emphasized familial relationship is with Wasuke, his grandfather and then later with Choso, his eldest brother. Both of those characters cared for Yuji and when they could, helped him in some way.

His mother is Kenjaku when they possessed Kaori, but that's just about it. Well, two mothers. Kaori was the body and Kenjaku who was the brain.

While I do wish to have seen more interactions, I'm also glad Gege didn't put any much. I feel like had Kenjaku and Yuji interacted more, it would lean into the typical "evil parent fights hero children" trope because of family drama. Nah, nope. I love that the distance was kept because what was the point of Kenjaku and Yuji ever interacting when no mends would have been made anyways? Kenjaku was never one to care about family, unlike Choso and Wasuke.

The animosity present between them didn't come from "Oh, you weren't there for me, you didn't raise me, you abandoned me". Yuji opposed Kenjaku because Kenjaku was straight evil. That, we need more of that. More children in fiction opposing their parents for being people, not just bad parents.

Kenjaku was seen as the enemy because they were. They barely shown any parental instincts... like at all, so is it even fair to give them any title of a mother or father? I don't think it is.

Jin, honestly, I'm actually glad it turned out he wasn't the twin. He was just the red herring. Turns out, he was just a guy.

And listen, I do like the idea of Uncle Sukuna, but in the case of Jin's relevance I don't think he really mattered all too much. While him being the reincarnated twin fits, it wasn't something that tightly secured.

Jin shows up for one chapter, one chapter now. Is mentioned not even a lot even after chapter 257 revealed Sukuna would have been a twin. So actually what would have been the point of him being that reincarnated twin if it wasn't brought up again?

Probably because he was meant to just been some guy. And frankly, I'm all for it because I like that fact that Yuji has some "normal" guy for a father. It's common for MCs to have "absent fathers", "fathers with a reputation that makes them great in some way" or both.

No, Jin was just a guy who was grieving his dead wife, had a kid with said wife who should have been dead, didn't listen to his dad while Wasuke tried to warn him and maybe was killed by Kenjaku for whatever reason.

But Wasuke? Again, I'm all for Sukuna being an uncle, but I'm fine with him also being a great uncle because Wasuke being that reincarnated twin. It just makes more sense. It's more fitting for Wasuke because unlike his son, Wasuke does have more relevance to Yuji's story. He may have died like in the first five minutes, but he was able to leave behind a presence that followed Yuji through the story. When you really think about it, Wasuke was like the good version of Sukuna.

And just thinking about it, that's probably what Gege wanted us to figure out. The reveal of Wasuke being the twin in the extras may have made some people upset but not me. At first, I didn't know why it didn't upset me that it wasn't in the story, but it then came to me.

Maybe Gege didn't want us to focus on Wasuke being the twin. Maybe we were supposed to focus on Wasuke being Wasuke. That he was still his own individual. We were supposed to see him as Yuji saw him.

(So with Jin, it did make sense for the twin reveal to be dumped on him as a cover because he was just there and nothing much else to focus on.)

Probably why Yuji didn't keep his battle scars he got from the final fight. When we look at Yuji, we're not supposed to see him as another Sukuna. We should see him as Yuji. Had he kept those battle scars, it would have been like looking at Sukuna.

Speaking of Sukuna!

I'll tell you something that does stand out to me about the relationship him and Yuji had.

Sukuna never told Yuji that they're (soul) related. And I doubt Yuji would ever find out.

Just like with Kenjaku, what would have been the point? Given what happens in the manga, I doubt it would have made a difference. Yuji would have still wanted to give Sukuna that second chance because he is just that kind. He is just that compassionate and merciful, related or not. He was able to connect with how Sukuna and him are two sides of the same coin not because of them being related. But because of who they are and how their lives went.

The thing is Yuji has an interesting chain of family members, but they're not the reason Yuji is Yuji. They may be influences, but Yuji is also capable of making the choices of who he wants to be and how he chooses to live.

True, Yuji is able to do what he can physically because some of his family members are menaces (looking at you, Kenjaku), but does his skills and family should be the only traits of Yuji that define him?

No.

Yuji probably didn't get much emphasis on his family because that may have been the point. If it isn't, it unintentionally works because it goes in line with him being that odd one out.

A lot of the other characters turned to jujutsu because their families is connected that society. Yuji though had no idea. He didn't know his mother, Kaori was a sorcerer/someone who had a technique and that Kenjaku, his other mother kind of, was the one possessing her body and happened to be 1000+ years old and created him to be Sukuna's vessel. Yuji didn't know he had nine older Death Painting siblings until much later. He didn't know and still don't that Sukuna is his great uncle by soul relation by his grandfather Wasuke being the reincarnation of Sukuna's twin. Even his father, just some guy, he doesn't recall memories of him.

See how different it from other characters?

Examples being Yuta is related to Gojo. Megumi, Maki and Toge are from sorcerer families (Zenin and Inumaki respectively). Nobara's grandmother is a sorcerer herself.

Overall, again, Yuji has a rather interesting family, I like that not every relation he had was emphasized as them being family. Or was brought up a lot. It's fitting that Wasuke and Choso were able to be shown as family to Yuji because they cared about him. His parents were but distant memories while the others were his enemies.

It made it all the more entertaining for me, at least and focus on Yuji being Yuji.

[wandrinstar-media]

things I love about veilguard

Rook might just be my favorite dragon age player character. I love what a good friend they are. I love being this character, in all their iterations.

emmrich and manfred volkarin, just literally everything about them both

I can be nonbinary??? in favorite game series??? plus many other trans & queer characters along a realistic spectrum of ideologies and identities??? FUCK YEAH

factions brought back the feel of selecting an origin a little for me. I wish there had been more content related to each *but* I do really like what there is. I do feel this was done better here than in Inquisition.

Speaking of: my real gripe about Inquisition was just a lack of anything feeling unsettling or spooky or urgent in any way. For me, I learned that the horror elements of previous games were essential for it to really feel urgent, necessary, heroic, and like a Dragon Age game *to me*. imo, Veilguard brought spooky back, with everything from blighted D'Meta's Crossing to Zara Renata's bath to Isseya's haunted twisted grief and the griffon tomb etc etc etc - I really feel like this game didn't hide the creepy parts in the codex this time, and while nothing will ever quite make my skin crawl like Hespith's poetry in the dark blighted deep roads, this brings back an element I was surprised to find I really missed. And the 2.5-3 Big Bads (depending on how you view Solas ymmv) of this game are far more interesting and intense than Corypheus ever was.

I like finally getting to see parts of other countries we've only previously heard about, and I *love* that those areas are realistically somewhat different than the rumor and speculation about them in previous games and that each has grown in unique ways since their first codex snippets.

I like to see that most interactive NPCs are being less openly racist / otherwise bigoted in a Dragon Age game, and I don't really get the people who complain about *not* being called knife-ear or whatever every other minute. I feel that budding cultural shift has been building in game for a long time, we're in new areas, many of which do things differently, and it's well explained by the efforts of groups like the Shadow Dragons and Lucerni and all of our Wardens and Hawkes and Inquisitors and several of the companions shaping change in the world for in-game decades. It can be realistic for things to improve. I love how openly hopeful this game is, when made in such dark irl times. It inspires me to more action in reality.

I love that Bellara and Taash are both clearly neurodivergent in wildly different ways. I love that characters who read very clearly as autistic/ADHD/AuDHD are continuing to be included in spite of all the vitriol there was about Sera.

Lucanis being demi (and imo as a demisexual person myself, quite accurately portrayed as such) is lovely and his romance scenes are delightful whether with Rook or Neve.

I love the other relationships that begin when companions aren't romance by Rook (Taash/Harding, Neve/Lucanis, and Emmrich/Strife are all really cute and have great cutscenes and banter.

The faction based specializations are cool as fuck imo

This game gives me more of the found family vibe of earlier games, I missed that.

Davrin & Emmrich arguing about different Being A Dad Strategies

I've put in 275 hours and I'm still finding new content with each playthrough???

Vorgoth.

I'll probably add more but. yeah. good game.

[aventurineswife]

🤣 The one with Yor Forger!Reader lmaooooooo

Now I’m picturing the AE crew having to eat their cooking and they’re all collectively horrified.

But then Welt eats it anyway with a completely straight face and gives some pretty good criticism (becuz he noticed Reader’s hands were a little cut up and burnt from the effort and doesn’t want them to feel bad) before leaving.

And then Pom-Pom and March go check on him and he’s uhhhhh definitely not feeling well. 😅

Meanwhile, Caelus/Stelle is the only one somehow unaffected (and probably asking for seconds).

From Burnt to Bonded | Part 3

Summary: An ordinary evening aboard the Astral Express takes an unexpected turn when you decide to prepare dinner for the crew. What starts as an innocent gesture quickly becomes a culinary misadventure, challenging the crew’s taste buds and patience. Despite the questionable outcome, the experience strengthens the crew’s bond, proving that even the most chaotic moments can bring people closer together.

Tags: Astral Express x Reader, Platonic, Hurt/Comfort, Slice of Life, Humor, Found Family, Food Mishap, Culinary Disaster, Fluff and Angst, Welt Being a Dad.

Warnings: Mentions of minor injuries (cuts/burns from cooking), Mild descriptions of food-related discomfort, Slight angst regarding self-worth.

A/N: and this will be the last part of this, goddamn, I didn't expected it to be so long 💀

[Part 1] | [Part 2]

[Header credits]

It had been an ordinary evening aboard the Astral Express, but today, something was different. A new experiment had taken place in the ship’s galley — you had taken it upon yourself to whip up dinner for the crew.

It started innocently enough. The crew was used to their usual meals, carefully prepared by the ship’s automated systems. But when they saw you eagerly walking in with a bowl, the overwhelming optimism in your eyes was hard to ignore. You were so eager to share your homemade cooking, determined to impress everyone with your culinary prowess, or at least with your effort.

"Tonight's dinner is all on me!" you announced cheerfully, placing the steaming bowl of... something on the table.

The crew exchanged curious glances, unsure whether to be excited or worried. March 7th, with her usual enthusiasm, bounced over to the table first. "Ooh, it smells... interesting!" she said, her voice a little uncertain, but always supportive. The others joined her cautiously.

"Looks... uh, different," Dan Heng said quietly, eyeing the dish with suspicion. He had never seen anything quite like it.

"This is... unique," Welt remarked, pushing his glasses up and observing the dish with a level of expertise that seemed to imply he was bracing himself.

Sunday gave a gentle smile. “I’m sure it’s delicious,�� he said, trying to mask his own unease. His eyes flickered briefly to the dish, then back to you.

The crew could sense the hesitancy, and that only made you more determined. “I promise it’s going to be great! I’ve been practicing!”

With a collective sigh of resignation, the crew began to dig in.

A few bites in, and it was clear: something had gone terribly wrong.

The texture was… unusual. A blend of mushy and rubbery. The taste was a strange combination of sweetness and bitterness, each bite leaving a lingering aftertaste that no one could place. Even March’s usually upbeat demeanor faltered as she chewed slowly, her eyes wide with confusion. "Uhm... it’s... something," she said, forcing a smile.

Dan Heng took a small bite, then placed his fork down slowly. “I think I’m going to need a drink after this.” he muttered, his stoic expression barely cracking.

Welt remained silent as he took a bite, his face completely unreadable. The crew all watched him, waiting for a reaction.

It was then that the older man set his utensils down, folded his hands calmly, and looked up at the crew with a composed expression. "It’s not... terrible, per se," he began, his tone surprisingly calm. "But there's a lot of room for improvement."

Everyone gasped. They had been bracing for an explosion of distaste, but instead, Welt spoke with the same careful consideration he always used when analyzing a difficult situation.

“First off, the texture is a bit off, not quite as you might expect," Welt continued, pointing at the dish. "It's important to have a balance of softness and firmness in any dish to maintain its integrity. This could use some fine-tuning. Perhaps some more precise timing with the cooking process would help.”

The crew, though still recoiling from the taste, were caught off guard by Welt's composed critique. They exchanged uncertain glances.

“And,” he added, noticing your slightly cut-up hands and bandaged fingers, “it looks like you’ve had a few accidents while preparing this. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard. You need to take better care of yourself.”

There was a pause as everyone looked at you. The tiny cuts and burns on your hands suddenly became more evident, though you’d tried to hide them under your sleeves. Sunday’s eyes softened as he watched your reaction, his gaze tinged with concern.

Your expression faltered for just a second. You hadn't realized the crew had noticed, your focus so consumed by making the meal that your own safety had slipped from your mind. “I… It’s fine,” you replied quickly, not wanting to burden anyone with your injuries. “I just wanted to make something special for you all.”

Welt nodded thoughtfully. “I appreciate the gesture, but your well-being is just as important as your cooking. Rest a little, take care of your hands, and maybe we can try this again with a bit more guidance.”

March, who had been silently observing the exchange, piped up with a bright grin. “I think it’s the thought that counts, right? And hey, maybe we can try it again together! We can improve this with some practice. That’s what friends are for!”

Sunday gave a small smile. “You’ve already succeeded in one thing,” he said, his wings fluttering gently. “You’ve reminded us that even in a place where the impossible happens, there’s always room for growth.”

Your heart swelled at the unexpected support from your crew. Despite the culinary disaster, there was a sense of solidarity that made everything feel a little lighter. You gave them a weak but grateful smile.

“Thank you all. I’ll get it right next time.”

After the meal, the crew began to disperse, still chuckling and gently teasing each other about the "unique" dinner they had just experienced. But as the last of the crew members made their way out of the galley, Welt stayed behind for a moment longer, looking over the scattered remnants of the meal with a pensive expression. He seemed as composed as always, but there was a subtle pallor to his face that hadn't been there before.

He quickly excused himself, muttering something about needing to check on a few things, and made his way toward the hallway. It was then that Pom-Pom, ever the observant one, and March, who was still in her playful mood, exchanged a knowing glance.

Pom-Pom’s small, fluffy form waddled toward March, their ears twitching. “Pom-Pom senses something’s wrong. Let’s go check on Welt!”

March, ever the one to go along with Pom-Pom’s suggestions, nodded with a grin. "You got it! Maybe he just needs a little space to recover from all the flavors... or... maybe he ate a bit too much."

The two quickly followed Welt, trailing behind him as he walked down the corridor, his steps slow and deliberate. When they reached his quarters, they noticed the door slightly ajar, and it creaked open when Pom-Pom gave it a gentle push.

Welt was sitting at the edge of his bed, his face now flushed, though it was unclear whether it was from the lingering effects of the food or something else entirely. He leaned slightly forward, resting his elbows on the surface of his thighs, trying to compose himself.

"Are you alright, Mr. Yang?" March asked, her voice quieter now, her usual teasing tone replaced with genuine concern. She moved to his side, scanning his face carefully.

Welt looked up at her, his usual composed demeanor starting to crack. "I’m… not sure," he admitted, his voice laced with a rare hint of discomfort. "It seems my stomach is disagreeing with me more than I anticipated."

Pom-Pom, as always, was the first to react, their face lighting up with concern. "Pom-Pom think Welt’s tummy doesn’t like the food! Pom-Pom thinks it needs special care!"

Welt offered a small, self-deprecating smile. "I’m afraid you may be right, Pom-Pom."

March frowned, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You sure you’re okay? Do you want me to get you something, Mr. Yang?”

Before Welt could answer, a voice from behind them caught their attention.

“Everything alright here?”

Caelus stood in the doorway, having apparently overheard the conversation. Unlike the rest of the crew, who had made faces and hesitated after trying the meal, Caelus seemed unbothered, if not pleased. In fact, he had a small plate of the strange dish in hand.

“I have to say, despite the... texture, it wasn’t as bad as I thought,” Caelus continued with a grin, walking into the room with a casual air. "Actually, I’m gonna go ask for seconds.”

March blinked at him in confusion. “Wait, you... liked it?” Her eyes shifted to Pom-Pom, who was equally baffled.

Caelus shrugged, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “What can I say? I have an adventurous palate.”

Welt glanced at him, the faintest smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “You’re either incredibly brave… or incredibly insane.”

March couldn’t help but laugh, her earlier concern momentarily forgotten as she stared at Caelus with a raised eyebrow. “I guess you’re the only one who escaped the curse of that dish, huh? You should teach us your secret for tolerance.”

“Well, you’re all welcome to try again,” Caelus replied with a wink, taking a nonchalant bite of the food, seemingly enjoying it as much as before.

Welt sighed, his discomfort still evident despite the lighter mood in the room. “I think I’ll pass on any more attempts at that meal for now. Maybe next time, we’ll stick with something a bit simpler.” He placed a hand on his stomach, grimacing slightly before managing to regain his usual calm composure.

Pom-Pom bounced over to Caelus, eyeing the plate. “Pom-Pom wants second helpings too! But Pom-Pom think it’s better to ask first next time.”

Caelus laughed at Pom-Pom’s antics, his eyes sparkling. “Sure, Pom-Pom, you can join me! But next time, let’s make sure someone knows what they’re doing in the kitchen first."

"Yeah, that would probably help," March added with a teasing grin, her eyes flicking back to Welt. "Maybe someone should take the next meal off and let us try something ourselves."

Welt gave her a tired but amused look. "I think that’s a good idea."

As Pom-Pom and March continued to poke fun at Welt's misfortune, the atmosphere lightened, and even the older man couldn’t help but join in the laughter, his earlier discomfort forgotten for the moment.

Meanwhile, Caelus took another bite of the food with a satisfied expression, savoring the bizarre combination of flavors. “I’m just glad we can all laugh about it. And hey, there’s always room for improvement, right?”

The crew may not have gotten the meal they expected, but they had something even more valuable: the sense of camaraderie and the knowledge that, no matter how strange the experience, they were in it together.

[Credits to @aochiorta]

[writingtraumaforever]

Hey, I was wondering what your take on shadow and sonics sexuality is? I personally see Shadow as a gay aroacesep and sonic as bisexual but I was wondering what your take on them would be! I've seen other people headconnon sonic as Trans. I love your work and writing! Keep it up! I always get so excited when i see a new work or chapter! I'm sorry about what happened with the recent news on why you don't post art. People can be cruel without meaning, too. They should have asked for your age before doing that. Just so you know, we all support you and love you! Lots of love and kudos from one of your fans!

HELLO!! First of all, thank you so much for supporting my writing! <3 and thank you for the sentiment.. it feels like a lifetime ago, but I still get my anxiety. I’m trying to slowly integrate some art here and there to fight this anxiety, though! ^^ <3

I’m much better now and safe and feel very loved. <3

As for Sonic and Shadow’s sexuality ahhh—

Okay.

For Shadow, I find it to be more of a deeply rooted sort of attraction than physical. For this reason, I see him as a bit on the asexual side. He’s not a very sexual person to begin with, but is attracted to one’s mind and thoughts and abilities and what one chooses to do with them. Once connected in that sort of way, THEN he may be more open to physical interactions. Like with Sonic, they’re connected. They understand one another. He also sees him as this inevitable good which takes him back to Maria. Sonic pushes Shadow to be better as a person and as a fighter, and so Shadow respects him deeply even if he doesn’t always admit it. All this to say— I think he’s more on the demisexual realm of things. Because even when he and Sonic start talking more and go on dates, he doesn’t inherently become attracted to him in that sort of way until they’ve been dating for some time. And then it’s like BOOM. Oh, I like him, and he likes me. We should do something about that. Shadow doesn’t let people in, so when he does it’s pretty magical.

As for Sonic??? Dude is bi. I’d even say he’s pansexual to be fair. With how many different species he’s dated/flirted with, he’s just there to connect with whomever his heart is currently leading him to and that’s FINE. I’ve seen people headcanon him as trans and I always think that’s so cute to see!!! Representation is lovely, and people being able to express themselves through their favorite fictional character is a great form of comfort. As for me? He’s not trans in my writing. Not because I don’t like it, but because I, myself, am not trans, so to write the mindset of someone who has walked that path feels hypocritical and disingenuous to me. I feel like I’m a fraud when I try to put myself in the mindset of people (especially minorities) that I’ll never truly be able to understand or experience. I wouldn’t do that journey and all the complications and mental battles that come with it justice. So I simply stay away from that sort of thing out of respect. I feel someone who can relate to it more would do a far better job of writing Sonic being trans than I ever could. <3

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[joshuamj]

Linktober Day 8. Tunic

[sainz100]

Carlos Sainz | F1 London Live in 2017 | x x x x x