#and letting myself believe it’s really happening to me

[winchestergirl2]

Dean

First, I just have to say I love your choice of gif for Dean!

Dean isn't one to get jealous...at first.

I absolutely see this!

You still stare at Dean incredulously. When the woman walks away, he smiles at you as if nothing happened. Sam wisely keeps to himself and sips his beer, hiding a smirk.

Oh Dean 😆 in trouble, and he doesn't even realise it yet... although Sam does!

"Gonna forgive me?" Dean asks, his lips moving against your skin. "Though I gotta admit, I kinda like it when you're jealous. All growly and fiesty. Got myself a little tiger."

Oh, you'll forgive him, but maybe you'll make him do a little more penance when you all get back home.

I like the way she thinks

Beau

His lips purse, his jaw clicks, and he keeps a firm eye on the situation. He doesn't like it.

Perfectly captured Beau here.

However, like Dean, the moment someone gets into your personal space or tries to touch you, he's pulling out some Sheriff moves.

I can absolutely see him observing to begin with, but stepping in the moment, he thinks they've overstepped the mark.

Oh wow, the audacity of that woman!! Wiping the chocolate away like that!

I could 100% picture Beau and his reaction to all of this!

"I mean it. Won't happen again," he promises. His hands mold to the curve of your waist and squeeze gently. His lips move, burning a sweet path along your jawline, your chin, over the apple of your cheeks, and finally your lips. You breathe into it, and you can't help but cling to the front of his buttoned-down shirt.

I would absolutely forgive him and melt with him doing this!

Beau smiles against your lips. "Don't you worry, darlin'. From now on, I'll tell her that I've got some good cookie at home."

Absolutely 😉

Soldier Boy (Ben)

Those men flirting with her really are dicing with death. Good job she has worked out how to cut it off before Ben gets involved. She's really out there saving lives, and they probably don't even realise it.

But when other women flirt with Ben, he takes it all with indulgent smiles, throwing in a wink and a sweetheart every now and then.

Haha, of course he does!

Ben doesn't bother with saying anything more to convince you. He just slips a hand behind your neck and kisses you soundly.

So Ben, like. Doesn't bother with apologising like the others just goes straight in there.

Russell Shaw

Russell always clocks the "situation" right away when a man starts to flirt with you.

100%

But he is quick to sidle up to your side, pointedly slip a hand along your waist, and greet you with a deceptive smile.

I am a suckered for a man doing this. A subtle way to let the other guy know.

"I'm gonna need you to listen to me, and listen good," he says. You frown at that, but he brushes his thumb across your cheek, a small, but tender caress. "You and me, we've got something good. I know what that means. So you can believe me when I say, I'm in this. I'm right here, even when I'm not here."

Headcanon: Flirting (And Jealousy)

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader, Beau Arlen x Reader, Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader, Russell Shaw x Reader

AN: This one was requested by one of my lovely Patreon members, @lacilou. And surprise! For the first time, I'm trying out adding Russell Shaw to the lineup because I thought he'd be an interesting addition for this prompt. 💜

Prompt: How would Dean, Ben & Beau react to either other men flirting with us or them obliviously/cluelessly letting other women flirt with them? And how we would react to them -- like how they'd make it up to us, their excuses, etc.

HC: How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy (Ben), and Russell Shaw would react to someone flirting with you. (And others flirting with them.)

Tags/Warnings: Established relationship, oblivious flirting, unwanted advances, jealousy, some toxic masculinity (you know Ben 🙄), but ultimately lots of fluff, and some spice too.~

Dean Winchester

Dean isn't one to get jealous...at first.

He knows you're hot as hell. He pretty much expects guys to try and shoot their shot.

Plus, he's secure enough in his relationship with you to know you wouldn't consciously entertain someone who's flirting with you.

He also knows you're strong enough to take care of yourself, even with a persistent asshole.

However.

The second a man gets into your face or tries to put his hands on you, Dean's stepping in -- either to twist the man's arm nearly out of its socket, or deliver a swift punch between the eyes, or his personal favorite, grabbing the back of the guy's neck and slamming his face onto the counter.

Dean finds the sound of bone breaking against varnished wood, followed closely by the heavy tripping thud of a body to the floor, deeply satisfying.

You heave a sigh. Not because you're all that annoyed at Dean, but because you tried to warn the guy.

Now, Dean knows he used to be...well, a "ladies man," putting it mildly. He's improvised more panty-dropping one-liners than a Magic Mike stripper. His success rate is 9-and-10 (because there's always room for improvement).

He directs all that flirtatious, playful, sexual energy on you. He's fallen for you, committed to you, and once he makes a decision with his heart, Dean Winchester doesn't have an unfaithful bone in his body.

However.

He can't altogether stop women from flirting with him. Like at one of the many diners you, Sam, and Dean stop to eat at after a hunt.

"Let me know if you need anything else, okay?" the waitress says. She brushes her hand up his arm and squeezes his shoulder, giving Dean a too-bright smile that leaves nothing to the imagination (at least to you).

He smiles back at her. "Thanks, sweetheart."

It's like a reflex. He thinks he's being polite. He doesn't even follow the path of her hip-swaying walk with his eyes -- like he certainly would've before he met you.

You still stare at Dean incredulously. When the woman walks away, he smiles at you as if nothing happened. Sam wisely keeps to himself and sips his beer, hiding a smirk.

Dean notices the way your lips are pursed, bitchface activated. "What?" he asks.

You cross your arms. "Really?"

He frowns. "What's the matter?"

"Really. You need me to tell you not to let that woman eye-fucking you to put her hands all over you?" You shake your head. More dryly you add, "Right in front of me, too. I gotta give it to her, she's got brass balls."

Dean is bewildered, but then he replays the moment in his head and realizes that you're right. He kinda fucked up.

He sees the way you're getting all testy, and he has to chuckle.

"Okay. I'm sorry, sweetheart. My bad."

He reaches for your hand and manages to uncross your arms. You're stubborn in your irritation, but Dean is the king of persuasion, giving you teasing, flirty bedroom eyes and waggling brows as he pulls you towards him.

If you're still reluctant to soften, he adds, "Come on, don't be a sourpuss. Come 'ere."

Eventually he breaks you, making you laugh and hit his arm with no real force behind it.

Even Sam shakes his head, seeing how his brother manages to pacify you by sliding his arm around your shoulders across the booth. Dean leans in and kisses along your neck. He inhales your scent and hums in pleasure.

Sam clears his throat. He has to awkwardly look away.

"Gonna forgive me?" Dean asks, his lips moving against your skin. "Though I gotta admit, I kinda like it when you're jealous. All growly and fiesty. Got myself a little tiger."

You roll your eyes, but your lips tug at a smile. Your face warms in a blush, especially as his hand wanders under your jacket and teasingly up your side.

You slip your fingers into his hair, making sure to give a sharp little tug on it for good measure. He just laughs.

Oh, you'll forgive him, but maybe you'll make him do a little more penance when you all get back home.

Beau Arlen

Beau is a jealous man from the onset when a man flirts with you.

His lips purse, his jaw clicks, and he keeps a firm eye on the situation. He doesn't like it.

But to his credit, he tries not to act on it right away, letting you handle it the way you want to.

However, like Dean, the moment someone gets into your personal space or tries to touch you, he's pulling out some Sheriff moves.

If the man grabs at you, Beau's got his arm twisted behind his back so fast, he can almost feel ligaments popping. Beau gives a calm, but firm warning before sending the guy on his way. (He'd like to do more, but the department frowns on excessive violence.)

Maybe part of you gets annoyed at the show of jealousy, but a larger part of you can't help but be turned on when he protects you. You know it's not because he thinks you need protecting, but because he wants to.

"Can't help it, darlin'," he's said. "It's just how I was raised."

But you're the one that bristles when Danielle, a PTA mom at Emily's school, flirts with him. She laughs at his corny jokes with her white teeth and her perfectly layered and coiffed blonde hair.

She even gives him an extra cookie from her offering at the school's bake sale. (She knows what most of this town knows -- that the way to the Sheriff's heart is all too often through his stomach.)

Beau just nods along, smiling polite with that charming grin of his, totally oblivious while he eats. The last straw for you is when she wipes a bit of chocolate from the corner of his mouth.

Your mouth falls open in shock. "Are you shitting me?"

You accidentally say it out loud, earning not only your boyfriend's surprised look, but Danielle's guilty one as well. (And some of the kids.)

Blushing in embarrassment, you pivot on your heel and start packing up your supplies for the bake sale.

That's when Beau realizes that he fucked up.

He politely excuses himself from Danielle and goes to help you (wiping the crumbs off his face and licking chocolate off his thumb). He can tell you're feeling more than a little icy towards him, but he tries to make up for it by doing all the heavy lifting, bringing back things to the car, and helping you with the bags before he calls Emily over.

It's a long car ride home, awkward and tense. Emily can tell something's off between you and her dad, but when she asks about it, you claim nothing's wrong.

Beau knows better.

He waits until the three of you get home to the apartment you share with him, and after putting the bake sale stuff away, he follows you into the bedroom.

"Sweetheart--"

"What the hell was that, Beau?" You come in hot with it, and Beau is quick to try and ease your tension with an apology.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Couldn't you see that she was eyeing you like a honey-glazed ham?"

Beau's lips twitch at a grin, but you're not amused. You cross your arms and give him a warning look. That's when he wises up.

"Okay, you're right. I'm sorry." He chances taking a few slow steps towards you, raising his brows and keeping his hands up in surrender.

You eye him narrowly, but you let him get close enough to slip his arms around you. He gathers you against his chest and presses a lingering kiss to your cheek.

"I mean it. Won't happen again," he promises. His hands mold to the curve of your waist and squeeze gently. His lips move, burning a sweet path along your jawline, your chin, over the apple of your cheeks, and finally your lips. You breathe into it, and you can't help but cling to the front of his buttoned-down shirt.

"Do me a favor," you say quietly between kisses. "Don't eat Danielle's cookies."

Beau smiles against your lips. "Don't you worry, darlin'. From now on, I'll tell her that I've got some good cookie at home."

Soldier Boy (Ben)

Oh, Ben doesn't fuck around.

...Well, in the sense that he can't tolerate another man even looking at you flirtatiously, or otherwise with any kind of intent.

Depending on the severity, at best, it'll have Ben shooting the man a stony look of warning.

At worst, it ruins the day -- namely with the sound of bone snapping and a man's sobbing howl of pain.

You try to get him to tone it down ("For God's sake, Ben. It's fine. Just relax."), but this is one thing he well and truly doesn't budge on.

Ben is possessive. Because you're his. His to touch, and his to protect.

In his mind, it's fucking simple.

Whenever you get irritated with this brutish, knuckle-dragging, caveman mentality, you try to remember why he does it.

It's indicative of how much he actually cares about you.

Because if he didn't, he wouldn't really give a shit if other men were flirting with you. (He'd just find another woman to try and charm back to his apartment.)

So you've learned how to try and finesse these situations so that Ben doesn't notice.

You've also stopped letting down men easy, proverbially cutting off their dick and balls with your words.

Because it's quite literally to save their dumbass life.

But when other women flirt with Ben, he takes it all with indulgent smiles, throwing in a wink and a sweetheart every now and then.

He doesn't blame them for flirting with him, checking him out. He's Soldier Boy, after all, and in his mind, it's not his fault they can't help themselves around him.

However, a smile and a wink is all that he allows himself.

If he truly cares about you (and though he doesn't often express it in words, he does), then the unfamiliar twinge of guilt stops him whenever he almost accepts a woman's alluring invitation--spoken or unspoken.

His mouth might spew arrogance and gilded lies, but his actions too often betray what he really feels.

And what he really feels can't be any more clear than when he goes after you, instead of indulging the woman who basically undressed him with her eyes, whispered sultry, sexy offerings in his ear, and invited him to go home with her.

Seeing you take off out the double doors of the club, Ben rolls his eyes. He brushes the woman off without a backwards glance, and follows you out into the night air. He grabs your hand before you can get far in your heels.

"What the hell's the matter now?" he asks dryly.

You turn on him with an incredulous look.

"That woman was practically sucking your neck, Ben!"

"All right, don't fucking overreact. You're getting hysterical," he says, before guiding you back into his arms.

"I'm not fucking hysterical, you ass!" You push against his chest, but he doesn't budge, nor does he let you go. This isn't a good area, and he doesn't want you out in these streets at this time of night without him at your side.

"Ben," you say sharply. You look up at him in irritation, but he just smirks and strokes your side with his thumb.

Yes, (in his mind) you're being a little difficult, but he thinks your jealousy is amusing, adorable, and kind of hot all at the same time.

Ben doesn't bother with saying anything more to convince you. He just slips a hand behind your neck and kisses you soundly.

He invades your mouth with his tongue and devours you, reminding you that you're the one he wants.

He waylays you with his strong hands framing your body against his, and with his sinful mouth, until you finally melt into his embrace.

He's chosen you countless time before, and he knows he'll keep choosing you, for as long as this lasts.

Russell Shaw

Russell always clocks the "situation" right away when a man starts to flirt with you.

He's not one to make a scene of it at first, depending on the time and place.

But he is quick to sidle up to your side, pointedly slip a hand along your waist, and greet you with a deceptive smile.

"Hey, sweetheart. Let's grab that table over there. 'S more comfortable than the bar."

He glances up at the man, sharpness hidden well behind his green eyes. Whether the guy picks up on it or not, Russell is making a mugshot in his mind -- and he never forgets a face.

You eye him knowingly, but you let him guide you away. He's kind of cute when he's jealous, and it doesn't take much to spark that well of protectiveness that lies in wait just under his skin.

Russell isn't easily fazed by most things, but one sure way to provoke his temper (and those rougher, darker shades of him that he tries his best not to show you) is for a man to push his luck with you.

It really wouldn't take much effort at all for the former soldier to have a man clutching his bloody, shattered nose, let alone to dump his broken body in front of the closest hospital. But somehow, Russell manages to curb those darker urges. (Again, don't tempt him.)

But when another woman flirts with him, you're the one who starts to have steam coming out of your ears.

Russell doesn't miss much. He recognizes the sultry inflection in the woman's words. He catches the subtle, sensuous gleam in her eyes when she rakes him up and down with them.

He also notes the moment you look over and realize what's happening.

Regardless if you're looking or not, he tries his best to stay distant, but polite, even as a warning twinge of "aww shit" runs up his spine.

He tries to play things off with an amiable smile and being purposefully oblivious.

Until the woman gets bold, slipping her hand over Russell's and up his arm a bit, before she withdraws, tilting her head with a sweet-as-pie smile.

Cue Russ's awkward laugh/clearing of the throat. Before he has time to fully pull away and just come out with the, Sorry, I actually have a girlfriend -- you return to his side and pointedly grab his hand.

"Come on, honey, we'll be late," you say, giving him a tense smile.

The aww shit feeling is back, but Russell just nods and falls into step with you.

When you two have enough privacy to hash it out, you let him have it.

"What the hell was that?!"

Russell can't help but chuckle. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I tried to keep it classy, but that woman was persistent. Not that I blame her--"

"Oh, shut up." You roll your eyes (not that you really blame her either). Then you stare at your man in annoyance, crossing your arms. "I didn't see you trying all that hard to fend her off, huh, Romeo? If another man had touched me like that, you would've broken his fingers off, like a fucking caveman."

Russell's brows raise at the dig, but the way you're getting all testy is kind of cute (and also kinda hot).

"All right. You got me there," he says. He slips his arms around your waist and tries to soften you with a charming grin. "Come on, sweetheart. You know I'm not going anywhere."

"Do I?" you blurt out, before you have a chance to reign it back in.

Russell's contract jobs take him all over the country -- all over the world. Yes, he's on his way out, he claims. He wants to settle down with you, or so he says.

But you have no idea of knowing what he does when he's not with you.

All those days out on the road, crashing in skeevy motels, winding down at dive bars -- has he ever been tempted to "sample" the local fare? Has he ever...

Russell's amusement fades, sobering into a frown and a furrowing of his brows. He hums in disapproval. He doesn't like what he's seeing in your eyes: doubt, most of all.

"Hey," he says. It's a serious tone you don't often hear in his voice. He curls a finger under your chin and tilts your face up to meet his.

"I'm gonna need you to listen to me, and listen good," he says. You frown at that, but he brushes his thumb across your cheek, a small, but tender caress. "You and me, we've got something good. I know what that means. So you can believe me when I say, I'm in this. I'm right here, even when I'm not here."

And he smiles at you. "That make sense?"

Slowly, you start to smile too. "Not really," you laugh.

But it does. You know what he's trying to say, and...you believe him. Your fingers curl in the front of his shirt.

Tentatively, you lean up and press your lips to his; just a sweet, slow meeting.

Russell cups your cheek and leans in for a deeper taste, a deeper conviction of every word he just said.

I love you, is what it really means, even if he's not able to say that just yet.

AN: 😮‍💨 Well, there we go! lol I love me a protective man. 💜 Hope you enjoy this set of headcanons!

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[truelovepolinator]

Why I'm So Sure It's Luke

I've been pretty quiet here for a while. Much of that is because of the state of the world. I had a bit of a deep spiral last weekend about things happening in my country.

And I confess that the FB comment and funeral hubbub sent me into a corresponding (though temporary) Lukola spiral to which I was doubtless more vulnerable due to my already depressed state. Did I really have to lose my daily dopamine drip (aka, Lukola) just when I needed it most?

Short answer: Absolutely not.

I had already started to pull myself out of my Lukola spiral by Monday (the other spiral is still very deep), and video and photos of Nic that emerged on Tuesday and Wednesday shored me up until I was back to effing rock solid.

I often see things I don't agree with, even on the blogs of folks with whom I usually agree, and I simply move on most of the time. I don't comment. I feel no need to argue with people in their own blogs. In friendly spaces, I'll sometimes share counter opinions because I believe respectful dialogue and debate are important — and have all but disappeared in this era of instant blocks. And we all want to share information and opinions that help us fine tune our perspectives.

But if they're clearly dug into an opinion that I view as wildly wrong, there's little value for me in arguing with them. Let them think what they want. It's not my job to change anyone's mind.

The jakola takes are the easiest to ignore for obvious reasons. I've written extensively about JD's role in Nicola's life and there's no need to do so here. (Feel free to read my other posts if you need clarity around N & J's non-romantic relationship.)

Instead, the takes I find the most frustrating are from the Lukolas who have lost hope, the so-called "realistic" ones who think that we "just have to accept that they're not together," and maybe even that "Luke is with Ant."

To this, I respectfully say, we absolutely do not have to accept any such thing because the evidence is fully on our side.

Truth be told, I suspect I'm most vexed by these posts because I used to be one of those "realists." In late summer/early autumn, I had fallen victim to the fake narratives created by the paparazzi shots of both Nic and Luke, all designed to imply a certain narrative without either of them actually saying those things were true. I always believed NicLuke belonged together. However, I reluctantly accepted that "I guess Luke is probably seeing her" and "not sure about that guy, but the photos of Nic and him do look cozy."

I understand the impulse to surrender. It's so hard to have faith, to keep believing in something when there's an apparent narrative being constructed in the public eye that tells you you're wrong. It's painful (and feels delulu) to keep believing when you've been let down repeatedly by pap photos you assume are true.

It's very easy to accept a false narrative if you don't have the energy to dig in and really pay attention to all the signs and information available when you look for it. (This is true on the world stage as well, and we should all think very critically about the stories we're being told, but I digress.)

I wrote extensively and in gory detail about how and why I'm so sure about Lukola in my blog post "Nicola and Luke Are Absolutely Together...," which I'll link here for anyone who wants persuasion or reassurance. I won't rehash all of that here, but I do want to touch on a handful of milestones & crumbs, many of which are recent, that make me quite sure about Luke being the man in Nicola's life.

One of the recent assertions I saw was that we need to let go of the significance of the Claddagh ring. (I'm not putting anyone on blast. I can't even remember who said this, and I think it was someone I like, so no offense.) But I could not disagree with this more.

Claddagh rings are worn to represent relationship status more than anything. Yes, they can be given in friendship, but the orientation of the ring on the wearer's finger is fundamental to understanding the ring. Only someone with no connection whatsoever to its heritage or meaning would throw it on willy nilly in any direction they pleased.

Not everyone follows the rules closely. I wore mine for years, on my left ring finger, heart down when I was free, heart up when I was taken. I only stopped wearing it when I replaced it with my engagement ring. (Obviously, I was not following the traditional 4 steps.)

Some wear it just on a single hand, whichever they choose. Some might wear it just while single (even engaged), then replace it when married. Some use it to indicate engagement and marriage when that time comes, others focus solely on taken or not. Admittedly, not everyone follows every step closely.

However, Nicola is from Galway where the ring originated. She is deeply proud of her Irish heritage. There is no chance she would put that ring on any finger with the heart pointing toward her heart unless her heart was taken.

Now, let's remember that she picked that ring up while she was in Galway during the World Tour. She modeled that ring in Chupi photographs, with the heart pointing up (heart taken) wearing the same outfit she wore to the screening. The same screening where she hugged her mother to within an inch of her life, then introduced her mom to Luke. That was the most tearful, emotional intro I've ever seen between a guy and his platonic co-worker's mom, huh?

Hypothetically, could her heart have been taken by someone else at that stage? Well, do you really think a secret significant other — who was important enough to warrant a "heart taken" ring orientation — would be okay with Nicola not only getting the ring while she's physically with Luke (and flirting heavily), but also making that showy, deeply emotional introduction between her mother and Luke? If you were her secret, non-Luke SO, would you be okay with it?

There is literally no chance.

Chupi told us that ring was to commemorate Season 3 of Bridgerton. Again, would a secret, non-Luke SO be fine with her wearing a ring that symbolizes her Polin season with Luke as a symbol of this secret, non-Luke SO's love?

I won't even bother digging into the symbolism of the rings on the hands, but say it were true that she just wanted it to commemorate a special season. If her heart weren't taken, that ring on her finger would have pointed down. She told us the moment those photos were snapped that her heart was taken, and logic tells us that, at that moment in time, it could only have belonged to Luke.

Since then, lots of things have happened. There were pap photos galore, all telling a very different story, right? Again, it's very easy to accept a false narrative when it's spoon fed to you. But gosh, wouldn't those pap photos also provide excellent cover for two people in love, possibly nesting together, who also wanted to keep their love very, very private?

I talk a lot more about this in the above linked blog (and others) and I'm not going to tackle it here. If you don't want to believe it, that's your prerogative, but if you're curious about whether it could possibly be true, I encourage you to have a read.

So set aside the adjacents for now and focus exclusively on our girl Nic. What we know is that she wore that ring consistently through the summer and early fall, on her right hand, heart pointing up (heart taken). Then, in October, she switched it to her left hand.

Again, not everyone follows every traditional Claddagh step, but Nicola is a Galway Girl. If she's been wearing it consistently on the right, then suddenly switches it to the left where she continues to keep it consistently, she's not oblivious to the meaning of that switch. That switch is deeply significant.

Remember, the left hand is traditionally the hand where it's worn to indicate engagement (heart down) and marriage (heart up). And when she switched, she kept the heart pointing up.

Does that absolutely mean she's married? No. As always, we don't know any of them personally, so we can't say for sure. But simple, not-a-reach logic tells us that the way she's worn that ring is significant.

With that ring, Nicola has told us in no uncertain terms that she is in a significant, committed relationship (possibly engaged or married since October). And she's been in that relationship (or at least committed in her heart to that relationship) consistently since at least June (really, late April/early May when she commissioned it).

Will we ever know exactly what happened last summer while she and Luke were apart (Sorrento, Spain, Malta, etc.)? No, we won't — and frankly it’s none of our business (as curious as we may be).

But we know that Nicola's heart was taken by the same person throughout. Because logically, would she really have been so into Luke in June when all of the above happened (commission, putting it on, meeting mom)... then break it off... then, by October, find a new person to be so committed to switch her ring to the left hand? The math just doesn't math on that one.

It was Luke in June and it was Luke in October. And she's still wearing that ring in the same direction as of Wednesday night. So yes, it's still Luke.

But I promised you more recent hints and crumbs to support my certainty. Honestly, @frantastical has this stuff so magnificently catalogued that you really should check out that incredibly comprehensive "Multitude of Morsels" if you haven't already.

Still, here's a small handful of (by no means comprehensive) things I've seen with my own eyes in just the last month that have told me I'm sitting in exactly the right restaurant on exactly the right ship:

New Pink News story posted with an old quote (that would have been approved by Nic's team) where Nicola says, "That's all I want, is the girls and the gays. And Luke."

Both Ryan Wheeler and Shondaland openly shipping Lukola ("get married for real")

Nic's year-end photo dump threaded through with Luke, both directly and indirectly

Luke's year-end photo dump threaded through with Nic

Even one of Nic’s Doctor Who photos, which isn't associated with Bridgerton at all, managed to nod at Luke

Video clip re-emerges of the Featherington women giggling when Bessie teases, "Well, two people fell in looove, I gueeessss," then they all giggle and agree that they can't say who

Both of them unaccounted for over Christmas and New Year's (days that are usually spent with significant others) while the adjacents were both accounted for on both holidays

Old story somehow emerges in which Nicola says Luke makes everything better, and Luke says about the "friends to lovers" story that "that's what happened to us when we met." (I'm probably slightly paraphrasing, but close enough.)

Nicola turns up with a tan

Luke turns up with a tan

Luke comes online very briefly, just long enough to congratulate Nic on her SAG nomination, cheering on his queen, and then he's gone

Nicola posts a birthday photo that appears to be a cozy dinner for two with several hints of Luke, most notably the red and yellow flowers (red is for love; most people focused on yellow being for friendship, and I think that's true, but I also very much think it's for Polin. And either way, "friends to lovers" or "love and Polin," those flowers say Luke.)

Luke likes a Jack Rooke post about Big Boys. Bearing in mind that JR is one of Nicola's longstanding, closest friends, this clearly suggests Luke is getting to know him

Nicola swoops in to distract from last weekend's mess with a new, obviously staged pap drop (based on weather, likely from a while in the past and kept on hand for when it was needed), once again protecting Luke and his family

And then there are a handful of crumbs and hints that point to something else that I've been reluctant to talk about. I still won't get into it here, but I will say that there are definitely recent things that are suggesting to me a very specific, very happy story. These include:

ETA: Photo of Nic with two Dunkin drinks & two straws (drinking for two?)

"Shit Stirrer" tee-shirt, holding shirt just so with photo cropped very particularly (who exactly is the shit stirrer in that photo?)

"May your 2025 be as happy as this potato made me" (which potato?)

Video with the hot water bottle

Big Boys (clearly wearing the ring)

And that is literally all I will say about that. But let's just remember that all of this has taken place while Nicola continues to wear that Claddagh ring on her left hand, pointed toward her heart. Even in those silly pap photos with Jake from Monday.

The only times we've seen her without it were when she wore special, fancy jewelry for events (showy hand jewelry that she could prominently display by placing her hands in front of her stomach instead of on her waist or hips). Every other time, it's either there or her hands are (perhaps intentionally) hidden.

Doubtless some "realistic Lukolas" will read this and say, "But you're ignoring all the photos of Jake and obvious proof of how close they are."

To which I reply, "Yes, I am." Because I've written loads about that relationship, what it is, why it is so heavily documented, and what they each get out of it (other than friendship). Again, if you want to know more, feel free to read my blog. But those photos mean nothing to me because I understand the truth that lies beneath them. I have absolutely nothing against Jake. I think he's been a good friend to Nic, but that's all he is.

Meanwhile, we've seen nary a peep from Luke except to cheer on his girl, and going back a bit further, that very happy looking S4 selfie with Nic. Has anyone ever noticed how much more he smiles with Nicola than anyone else? His actual smile ratio with Nic compared to literally anyone else is off the charts.

So, yeah, it's Luke all the way. I don't know for sure when it started (might tackle that in a different blog), and I'm not sure how many times they've pressed the on/off button before locking in, but I absolutely believe they are fully locked in now. The evidence is everywhere.

As always, I say these two things. First, we know nothing for sure until Nic or Luke or both of them together make it absolutely, incontrovertibly clear to us. So could I be wrong? Yes, it's certainly possible. If I'm wrong, I'll admit it, and I admit right now that I will be heartbroken. I'm not going to front about this. But I don't think I'm wrong.

Second, you are very free to draw different conclusions. However, if you wish to do so, I invite you to consider the evidence as presented first. Especially if you've given up the ship because you're afraid to believe.

Have no fear, Lukolas. The evidence is on your side.

[mysticheathenn]

Messages From Trust

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is about what is preventing you from trusting others including yourself.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek for professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement. Only a private reading can give you a more tailored answer to your questions.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture(s) that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

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Etsy (Private Readings)

Pile l:

What is preventing me from trusting others including myself? Tarot: Six of Swords, Ten of Swords, Seven of Wands, The Hermit, Everything is Fine, Nine of Swords

Abandonment issues. Something happened in your life to where you believe that everyone who enters your life is doomed to leave and for most of you, you tend to drive people away first before they even have the chance to leave while at the same time be sadden by your loneliness because you feel no one wants to be around you or even stay. When people do leave you overthink and go down a spiral thinking about the many things wrong with you when really there is nothing wrong with you at all, sometimes people leave and that's okay but it doesn't mean that something was wrong with you. It's actually the complete opposite. Others of you have been hurt so badly that you don't allow anyone in, you are probably that friend where it takes 3+ years just to know anything other than basic knowledge about you and even then sometimes your friends will try to get you to open up more even though you prefer to be the friend who is always there for others versus the other way around because again of this abandonment issue or because you feel no one really cares when really that's the farthest thing from the truth. You will never know love if you keep pushing people away from you because you fear of them walking away and even if someone does walk away it's not the end of the world. It may feel that way sometimes but everything as your card states is fine.

How to begin trusting others again? Tarot: Same Cards

Letting your guard down and accepting the outcome of what life brings. Accepting that people come and go and it has nothing to do with you. Accepting that you are amazing and those who choose to leave are missing out on the love and beautiful energy that you provide. Letting people in so they can show you that they do care and want to be there for you and are not there to pity you but because they want to see you succeed, thrive and most importantly they want to know you...the real you and not the sheltered mask version of yourself that you give others. Trust people not to hurt you, and read the signs so you know when to call a spade, a spade. If someone is not putting in the same amount or not even close enough effort to make you feel seen or loved it is okay to let them go but if someone is putting in the effort to get to know you and shows up in a way that you feel loved, please embrace it and don't shut down to push them away. You deserve to experience this kind of love and support in your life.

What good can come from trusting again? Oracle Cards: Truth, Confidence, Transformation, Love

For some of you, your abandonment issues stem from previous lovers while for others it's just friends or possibly both. Learning and deciding to trust again will open so many doors for you when it comes to love as well as who you are as a person. Some of you will rediscover who you are as a person because you have such a high wall up to the point you sometimes feel as if you don't know yourself. This will change once you begin trusting people again and doing the work to release this abandonment issue. Your confidence will also skyrocket along with seeing that the world indeed does not end when someone leaves as well as seeing that there is nothing wrong with you.

Pile ll:

What is preventing me from trusting others including myself? Tarot: Eight of Swords, Seven of Swords, Two of Swords, Eight of Cups, Knight of Cups

Self Sabotage. In the past or maybe even currently you tend to not want to see red flags in others to the point relationships or even friendships tend to drag on far too long until you get to the point of being tired and finally moving on. You tend to attract and go towards people who are not good for you whether they are just overall toxic, manipulative, narcissistic, or what have you. The people you tend to keep around you are never good and just a few of you if this is mostly romantic you tend to keep going back for them hoping that when you return to them that things will change when nothing has changed. A lot of the people who tend to be in your life loves to hand you an empty cup but the thing about that empty cup is because you have dealt with their lack of loving you properly the fact that they even brought something makes you giddy because it's the thought that counts. Unfortunately, all of these issues has led you to have trust issues. You don't trust yourself enough to see the good or the bad in people to the point anytime someone shows even one flaw or an ounce of drama you leave because you have been down this road before and never want to go back. You are done with the empty cups and lack of reciprocal energy from others, now anyone who breathes wrong you send them to the left packing even if they are a good person and loves you properly, you can't risk them proving you wrong.

How to begin trusting others again? Tarot: Same Cards

Learning to trust your intuition. Learn to have discernment that when something doesn't feel good, right, or doesn't make you feel loved it's time to move on. Know it's okay to extend grace when the issues that are happening are a human error and not a character flaw. Anything that is a character flaw (narcissism, manipulating, lack of concern for you, etc) should not be tolerated whereas human flaws like (things that most of everyone does from time to time and they own up to it) are okay because at the end of the day we are all human and sometimes make a mistake. Being cruel, mean, etc is not a mistake and is very much intentional and this is behavior to move away from.

What good can come from trusting again? Oracle Cards: Grieving, Forgiveness, Clarity, Compassion

Because of your past or even current reality for some of you, you have lacked compassion for yourself and possibly even fallen into a deep depression when you think about the times you let someone treat you horribly or even less than what you have deserved. Once you begin to heal this, you will begin to show yourself more compassion as you now know what to accept and what not to. You will also know that what you didn't know before you now know to do better and continue to do better while showing the old you compassion, for what you lacked. You will also forgive others if not yourself again for the treatment that they have given you and forgiveness towards yourself. Clarity will also be a gift as you will no longer see every red flag through rose-colored glasses but exactly as they are keeping you safe and way from those who want to do harm or be toxic.

Pile lll:

What is preventing me from trusting others including myself? Tarot: The Fool, Three of Swords, Four of Swords, The Star, Ten of Swords.

Romantic Relationships. There are two songs that come to mind with you, pile lll and that's Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis and Fool for You by Cee-lo Green. You are a fool for love pile lll to the point you keep getting hurt over and over again and many of you lose sleep because of past partners always wondering who they are with, if they are coming home, if they are talking to other people. I can see you always by your phone hoping that they will call or text and when they don't you are disappointed because, in the back of your head, you have/had a feeling they are texting someone else, someone you believe might be "better" than you and a lot of you tolerate this for so long until you can't any longer. A few of you may have also been drawn to pile ll, if so there maybe something there for you as well even if it's just a sentence. Either way, Love has caused you to lose your trust in others and yourself because you are most likely a hopeless romantic. You are a lover of love and refuse to see or believe in anything other than just that. But I do feel that some of you are coming to your end of being a ride or die, a lover of love, and so forth because you are either tired of experiencing the pain or seeing on social media showcasing the many people out there treating their partners like crap and it's causing you anxiety that you will never find "the one" and you are doomed to be single forever.

How to begin trusting others again? Tarot: Same Cards

This isn't so much of how to begin trusting others again because with the fools card, you are always up for love again you are a lover of love but you are just coming to your end of being this type of person or even being the type where you feel a ride or die is admirable (depending how you view it, it's not). This is more so of a friend-to-friend chat, for those who find it admirable in being a ride-or-die when it comes to partners who aren't shit. That isn't a ride or die....you're just constantly dying because you are wasting so much of your life force worrying they are cheating, etc. Please know it is more admirable to leave than it is to look like a clown because you stuck with someone through "hard times." cheating is not hard times. Going through financial struggles is considered a hard time (only if you both are putting gin the work. If ou are doing the only leg work again this is not hard times or ride or die material). For those who want to give up on love keep pushing and stop listening or looking at social media. I know trust I kept getting weaponized incompetence videos of partners and etc but once I reset my algorithm and kept pressing not interested on videos and only looking at partners being loved and seen I began to have faith that there is real love out there and maybe it will happen for me too. Keep hanging on, you will find the person who will give you 100% and more to you. Have patience.

What good can come from trusting again? Oracle Cards: No Cards

This is more of an intuitive message but you will get everything and more that you want. If you want the house with the picket fence, dog, and kids, and loving husband you have it. Whatever it is that you want out of your love life it is yours for the taking you just need to be smarter about how you go about loving people. Be smarter in how you pour your energy into others as well. Again cheating and receiving poor treatment is not cute sticking around just to say "you held down your partner" because again that is not holding them down. Find the love that makes you feel seen, feel at ease, and worry-free, and pours just as much into you as you do them.

Pile lV:

What is preventing me from trusting others including myself? Tarot: Six of Cups, Nine of Pentacles, Six of Wands, Eight of Swords.

Childhood Wounds. Something happened in your childhood to where you didn't feel safe enough to be great, express yourself, or even feel as if you could make something of yourself financially. For some of you, you may have had that parent who told you they wanted to hold onto your money for you but then turn around and spend it. Whatever it is that caused you to lose trust during childhood it's deeply affecting your adulthood as if one wrong move and the worse is about to happen. You know how Chidi from The Good Place TV series (amazing show) would become so indecisive about a decision to the point it caused his death because it would debilitate him...I'm sensing that from this pile. I wish I knew what it was from childhood that caused you to feel as if you can't move on with your life and live it freely, abundantly, and so forth but again this is a general reading and also the energy feels like a shut door as if not even you like to open it. You may also suffer from remembering some of your childhood because it was so traumatizing. While you remember some of the bad times, other times that caused you to feel some type of way won't unlock itself except once in a blue moon.

How to begin trusting others again? Tarot: Same Cards

Facing your trauma head-on. If this isn't an option or you know that it wouldn't do any good remember that you are an adult and for those of you who aren't remember that you are your own person and you don't need any approval outside of yourself. Believe in the things that you set your mind to. If you believe you will and can be a billionaire don't tell those who do nothing but put you down...keep it to yourself and harvest that feeling so it can grow. Believe that you are capable of doing and being anything that you set your mind to. For some of you, this is more than a mental thing but more so having parents who think how you dress, look, act, etc is a phase, "of the devil", or whatnot. If you are an adult...please cut the cord and live for yourself. If you still live at home and are not an adult....this maybe a bit tricky as not everyone has the privilege to do as you please. Just remember who you are as a person and know that nothing is wrong with you. There is so much I can go on about but again that would be long and this is too much of a general reading for that.

What good can come from trusting again? Oracle Cards: Freedom, Peace, Lighten Your Load, & Beauty.

As mentioned some of you could have childhood wounds or could be currently going through it if you are still a child (under 18) where your family criticizes you for your style, weight, etc once you release your need for approval or even stop listening to the naysayers you will come into your own and fully embrace yourself relieving this load that you no longer have to listen or can tune out those who constantly put you down because of their own issues and problems with themselves Lastly of course freedom is something you will experience. You will have so much freedom you won't know what to do of once you release this wound or leave your childhood house.

Thank you to everyone who supports not only my Patreon but also my Etsy and Tumblr page. Much love and blessings to you all.

Stay Safe and Be Blessed :)

[farenmaddox]

Thoughts on being 40

I’ve never written something like this, but 40 feels like a milestone worth taking a moment for. I never thought about myself at forty when I was fifteen or twenty-one. Thirty already felt like enough to worry about. Then 30 came and went, and it turned out that I loved being in my thirties. I loved the day that I realized I’d stopped looking around for an adultier adult when I had an issue, because I could solve it. I loved being able to recommend an optometrist and having a favorite cocktail. I loved going on vacations and getting promoted and getting married to the love of my life. I loved trusting myself to make good decisions.

And now I’m turning forty. I dreaded my 30s when I was 22, and then they happened to me and I loved them. So I am approaching my 40s with the hope and belief that they are going to surprise me just as much.

Most of the time, when I tell people I’m turning 40, and they say “ha ha you mean 39 again?” and I say “No, you don’t get it, I’m excited about 40.” They think I’m crazy, but the beauty of having lived on this earth for forty years is that I don’t care what they think. I have stopped pretending that I don’t like mayonnaise or that I can sit through Will Ferrell movies. I don’t have to laugh and agree with them on this, either.

I think I’m writing this because I want to leave a marker on the trail. Maybe for myself to come back to if I get lost, maybe for you as you head this way so you don’t get lost. I don’t know.

But here goes.

I am more capable of accepting ambiguity in my life that I ever thought was possible when I was young. I don’t need to know everything. It’s okay that I will never know what motivated someone to be rude to me or whether they even realized that they were. It’s okay that there is no single correct way of governing society or doing the dishes. I believe there are multiple possible answers to a lot of questions in this world. I can accept the premise of the Trolley Problem. I can accept “it depends” as an answer. It’s not always comfortable but I can do it.

I really do have to pick my battles. I really do have to have to choose a hill to die on and then let the rest of it go. Exhausted and defensive is not a good lifestyle and it doesn’t accomplish anything to live like that.

I am getting better at minding my own business. I love changing the subject when people start to gossip. It does not enrich my life to know that an ex’s divorce was messy or that two celebrities are feuding or dating or whatever it is they’re doing. I’m so much happier not knowing. I want to fill the limited space in my mind up with remembering my friend’s favorite book, and the rules for this board game I am playing with them. I have let go of the idea that someone’s ugliest moment or trait is their “true” self and that I need to know what they are doing behind closed doors. I want to focus on my true self.

I love myself more without labels. I do not need to find a hyper-specific explanation of my unique experience with gender and sexuality to feel good about myself or believe that my experience is real and true. “Queer” is a beautiful word for what I am and I’m very happy with it.

I can accept my body without loving my body. I can stop punishing it for not being what I wanted. I can stop punishing my mind for somehow failing to make my body into something else, as if self-discipline could overwrite genetics. I can focus on what will help us last out the rest of this life together in relative comfort. We don’t have to be in love; it’s not a requirement. We just have to coexist. I’m getting better at that.

I still believe that people are wonderful. That’s the one thing that I believed at fifteen and twenty-two and thirty, and I still do. Even as I write this, I question it, worry that I am not being honest, because the pandemic years have shaken me to my core. What I know now is that it’s an act of faith. I look at the wild world full of weird around me and I choose to be happy. I will never stop thinking about that Michael Jackson shrine in that park in Berlin that I walked past in 2016. I will never stop being delighted by the existence of acapella groups. I will never stop thinking about the four different people who stopped to ask me if I was all right recently, when I got light-headed and sat down on the curb for a few minutes on my way home. Someone always jumps in to help the passengers with walkers or strollers get safely off the bus, and sometimes that someone is me. Strangers ask me if they can pet my dog when I take her on walks, and they leave with a smile on their face, and the world is just full of love. No matter how scary it gets out there, I still believe that.

I am getting better at remembering that it all passes. The stress and the sadness and the anger feel so overwhelming when they come, and I used to let them control me and make me believe I wouldn’t ever get out from under them. But I did. Then I did it again. And now, when it happens, I know that I have been stressed and sad and angry before, and it went away last time, too. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but I can sit with it quietly. I can remember that it will feel different soon, and I don’t have to punish myself for feeling it. It doesn’t make me a bad person to have a bad day. It will pass me by, and soon I will be having coffee with my wife and my friends and we are going to laugh a lot. It’s going to be great.

It really is going to be amazing.

[crownmemes]

Questioning Sentences, Vol. 39

(Questioning sentences from various sources to ask all kinds of muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"How long have you been here?"

"Which side of the bed would you prefer?"

"Can I ask you a personal question? How can you afford to shop here?"

"Do you ever think about your legacy?"

"You ever feel the prickly things on the back of your neck?"

"This is weird, even for you. What are you doing?"

"Are we safe here?"

"What am I to you?"

"Do you think I don't understand what it is to be different?"

"You know, it is a little bit strange that we hardly know each other, right?"

"Who hit you?"

"You know, you should really work on your party face."

"I need to borrow a car tonight. Can I take yours?"

"Are you telling me you don't love me anymore?"

"Perhaps you'd like to know my name?"

"How can you help me if you don't believe me?"

"Do you ever think what it would be like to be like other people? Normal people?"

"Is this your way of apologising?"

"Speaking plainly, what's in it for me?"

"You have an interesting accent. Where are you from exactly?"

"Have you been told anything I haven't?"

"Do your ambitions not exceed this?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm thinking of getting a gun for protection. Is there one you would recommend?"

"Do you like birds?"

"Do you reckon I'll get one of those medals for bravery?"

"You can't stay away from me, can you?"

"Do you have to enjoy this quite so much?"

"How can I help you if you won't let me?"

"Am I having some kind of psychotic breakdown?"

"You've been hiding from me, haven't you?"

"Why is it that I surround myself with a bunch of incompetent fools?"

"Has my utility not been amply demonstrated?"

"Were you just flirting with that woman?"

"Is this it? Is this therapy?"

"Do you really believe you see demons and devils?"

"You didn't really think you were never going to see me again, did you?"

"Do you think what happened to you is a miracle?"

"When did you get so bitter?"

"Why are you talking in the past tense?"

"Aren't you supposed to be talking to me about the virtues of mercy?"

[cherrylibby]

Between Life and Love

The last thing you remember is shouting—urgent voices rising above the chaos, a cacophony of fear and desperation. Then, the sharp, searing pain as a bullet tears through your abdomen. The ground rushes up to meet you, cold and unyielding.

The world blurs around you, colors and sounds fading as your body grows heavy. Through the haze, you catch a glimpse of Spencer Reid. He’s rushing toward you, panic etched into every line of his face.

"Y/N!" he shouts, his voice cracking. He drops to his knees beside you, his trembling hands pressing down on the wound in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Stay with me," he pleads, his voice a mixture of panic and determination. "Please, Y/N. You’re going to be okay. You have to be okay."

His normally steady hands shake as he tries to control the blood gushing from your wound. Tears well in his wide hazel eyes, threatening to spill over as he stares down at you.

You want to say something, to tell him it’s not his fault, but the words don’t come. Darkness creeps in at the edges of your vision, and his voice grows distant, like a fading echo.

When you wake, the world feels strangely quiet. The harsh fluorescent lights above you cast a sterile glow, and the rhythmic beeping of a heart monitor is the first sound you register.

Your body feels heavy, the dull ache in your abdomen a reminder of what happened. Blinking, you manage to focus on your surroundings. You’re in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV.

At your bedside, Spencer sits slumped forward, his head resting on the edge of the mattress. His usually neat hair is disheveled, and the dark circles under his eyes suggest he hasn’t slept in days.

"Spence," you croak, your voice hoarse and weak.

His head snaps up, and for a moment, he just stares at you, as if he can’t believe you’re really awake. Then, relief floods his features, and he quickly leans closer.

"Y/N," he breathes, his voice thick with emotion. "You’re awake."

Before you can respond, the door opens, and the rest of the team files in. Emily is the first to approach, her expression a mix of relief and gentle reprimand.

"You really know how to scare us, don’t you?" she says, brushing a hand lightly over your arm.

Morgan stands next to her, shaking his head with a rueful smile. "You’ve got to stop putting yourself in the line of fire like this. We’re getting too old for these kinds of scares."

JJ and Rossi linger near the foot of the bed, offering soft words of encouragement and teasing remarks to lighten the mood. Their presence is comforting, a reminder of the bond you all share.

But through it all, Spencer stays quiet, his eyes never leaving you.

Eventually, the team begins to trickle out, giving you space to rest. Emily glances at Spencer before leaving, her gaze lingering for a moment as if to say, This is your chance.

Now, it’s just the two of you.

Spencer pulls his chair closer, his long fingers fiddling nervously with the edge of his sweater. He hesitates, the silence stretching between you.

"Spence," you say softly, breaking the tension.

He looks up at you, his hazel eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I thought I lost you," he whispers, his voice trembling. "I’ve seen so many terrible things in this job, but nothing… nothing has ever scared me like that. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things I never told you."

He swallows hard, his hands clenching into fists as he gathers his courage. "Y/N, you mean so much to me. More than I’ve ever let on. You’re the one person who makes me feel like I’m more than just statistics and facts. You make me feel… human."

His voice cracks, and he looks down, his shoulders shaking slightly. "I’ve always been afraid to say anything, afraid of ruining what we have. But after seeing you like that, I realized… I can’t keep this to myself anymore."

He lifts his gaze, meeting your eyes. "I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you for a long time."

The raw vulnerability in his confession leaves you speechless for a moment. You reach out, your fingers brushing against his. He takes your hand in his, holding it tightly, as if afraid to let go.

"I love you too, Spence," you say, your voice soft but steady.

A tear slips down his cheek, and he lets out a shaky laugh, relief washing over him. He leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your hand.

"I promise," he murmurs, his voice filled with quiet determination. "I’m going to be here for you. Always."

And for the first time since waking up, you feel a sense of peace, knowing that whatever comes next, you won’t face it alone.

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

Ford is Not used to being dependant on someone as an adult - especially since Stan isn't dependant on him At All in return. It's gotta be doing weird things to his neurons, he would probably sit like a dog if Stan told him to, he is pathetic amounts of in love with him this is past partner in crime he's his hero, his guide, his Muse, his god, Ford is in a really weird headspace

OOOH i love this version of stancest sm. i know this is likely about the little ford au but i also just love this kind of stancest in regular sea grunkles and kills me. so much of stancest (and tbh just in their canon dynamic) is stan nipping at ford's feet and following ford's lead even their sea grunkles era. a lot of darker stancest always infers with ford being obssesive and controlling too and usually stan lets it, because hey thats their dynamic and its better than nothing.

but the opposite has SO much potentil. ford following stans lead. to think of ford realizing that he's way WAY out of his depth and that he needs stan way more than stan needs him now?? maybe he ALWAYS needed stan more than stan needs him?? after all, what did ford say about how stan wouldve been able to see through bill's tricks?? if they were together, the apocalypse wouldve never happened...

ford would think he's so lost now, lost without any purpose now that bill is defeated and he doesnt want the fame anymore either now that he knows his chase for it is what made him lose his brother, so he feels SO empty. except hes not. theres stan. stan whos strong, brilliant, charming and the most selfless hero ford would ever know.

ford wants to protect him so much but another day of stan saving his ass from a monster they were investigating (because he got too curious again) and ford thinks he could never EVER measure up to the way stan protects him, loves him, cherishes him and takes care of him. it makes ford feel awful, unworthy of this love after he promised he'd do anything to earn back that second chance stan too gracefully gave him. he can't fathom the idea of stan finally wisening up and leaving him even if its no less than he really deserves, because what else will he have anymore if he doesnt have his best friend, his hero, his true muse? it'll fester in his mind, growing and growing and growing, and he shoves it down deeper and deeper as much as he can.

but one night, one bottle and a million inhibitions thrown over the railing of the stan o war, he'll finally break when stan smiles at him while they sit on the deck, looking so happy when that makes no sense.

stan deserves the world, the entire galaxies, and ford can't give them to him at that very moment. he'll start crying, overwhelmed with how much he loves stan and how stan deserves the best— one ford has to grudgingly admit isnt him.

"woah, woah, sixer," stan interrupts worriedly, face falling. "what's wrong? come on, we arent even that drunk yet."

the joking tone makes ford feel worse, because how could stan stop smiling because of him and still try to make ford feel better? "i'm sorry," ford chokes. "stan, god, i'm so sorry."

"stanford," stan says placatingly. ford understands that stan understands too, that this isn't about the alcohol, or about crying out of nowhere. his hands cup ford's face, so large and warm, like a place where ford could hide his face forever with the depths os his shame and stan might even let him. that breaks ford even more. "hey come on, bro, s'okay..."

"don't leave me."

"i'm not leaving you, your big brain knows that."

you should, ford thinks but will never say, because he can't. "i can't lose you again," ford whispers with shaky breath. "i w-wouldn't know what to do with myself—"

"ford—"

"— because you're so brilliant, and brave, and good—"

"— i guess but—"

"—you're so good stan," ford interrupts whatever faux preening stan was going to do. his brother doesnt believe him, and ford practically crawls into his space.

"you are so, so good. you are so good and you don't even realize, i—" ford's breath hitches. "i don't even know how i could ever repay you..."

"pff, alright," stan scoffs, looking away, cheeks bright red and smile unconvincing. "jeez ford, you really are drunk." he laughs, his shoulders stiff and unmoving. "like what, are you trying to suck my dick?"

"is that what you want?"

stans eyes snap back to him, wide and full of shock.

"what?"

"is that what you want me to do?"

"no, ford– i'm not–"

"stan," ford says, reaching his hand now to cup stan's face, and god he's just as much of a perfect fit in ford's as he was in stan's. stan is so much bigger and better than anyone else, but with his own extra finger he just might be fit for ford. "stan, it's okay. whatever you want, whatever you need, i'll do it. for you."

sort of something like that. i really really like to think of a slightly toxic, but like in the "its toxic and also the healthiest way this dynamic can really go about" ending where ford tries to overcompensate to stan with sex and romance and stan is relunctant at first but seeing just how willing ford actually is really starts getting into the whole dom/sub— which fulfills some purpose for ford AND he gets to have stan come all over him so its kind of a huge win on all fronts

[batboyblog]

i live in the south, and i used to follow someone on here who lives in the same state as me, who i thought would've understood how difficult things are for marginalized people who live in red states and why we needed harris to win. but they kept reblogging posts about how both parties are the same and anyone who votes for harris is voting for genocide (as if letting trump win was going to be any better?? he's just started talking about wanting to "clean out the whole thing" and forcibly displace all remaining palestinians by making them move to jordan and egypt, an idea which every group who would be affected hates 🙄). i kept hoping they'd finally realize the very obvious fact that contributing to trump's win wasn't going to make things better for any decent person in the world but the last straw for me was when they posted something like "well i was going to go vote for [fictional character] but the line was too long so i just went home haha!!" i blocked them right after that, and now of course trump is in office and things are going to get so much worse for me and for them as those of us in red states have so much less of a chance to push back against our local governments and all of the bigots who voted for trump will feel more emboldened by his win. so yeah, i share your small fantasy that people like that will wake up and realize they were wrong for spreading these ideas. sorry for venting in your inbox though lol, you don't have to reply to this if you don't want to!

One of my best friends in politics is from Louisiana. He's gay and when he came out his parents sent him to a pray the gay away camp where... really horrible shit happened. And I think about that skinny kid coming out of just the most horrible shit imaginable and being a Freshman in college working his ass off for a Red State Democratic Senator, Mary Landrieu, Mary didn't win, but he worked SO hard for her. And we met working on Hillary's campaign together, boy has bad luck with Democratic women running for office.

Any ways the point is, I love red state Dems, I really do. My friend really loved John Bel Edwards, now I don't think either of us really fully agreed with Edwards, I know my friend was as feminist as a gay boy can be and believed in the right to an abortion totally, Edwards was/is one of the rare pro-life Democrats. But my friend understood, a Democratic governor would protect more people's rights, do more for the poor and the disadvantaged. Edwards' signed an order day one in office banning LGBT discrimination in the state government, when a Republican took over 8 years later, day one, threw that order out, a lot like Trump undoing all the pro-LGBT orders Biden did and rolling back trans rights/access to federal documents that came about under President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

I think thats the thing, in Red States and in America at large we share this big country with a lot of people most of whom are more conservative than I am, so how do I get as much of what I want as I can? Do I vote Mickey Mouse for President? no I vote for the candidate that will do the most good, I won't always agree with them, I don't agree with myself most of the time.

idk it's not... theoretical to me? I'm likely not writing my best work here but when it comes to voting I think about all the people in my life who needed help, if they got it or not, and the ways they were left behind or would have been life behind and all the kids out there, queer kids trans kids, the poor always the poor kids, you know and the loss they'll suffer because of 4 years of a Republican President. And yes Trump is a VERY bad Republican President but if we ever get to some future after him there will come a time where maybe a bland centrist Democrat will run against a business focused Republican, Bush V Gore? and people will say "oh there's no difference" and there is.

oh also I want to say, the little old ladies, the normie "cringe lib" wine moms and grandmas (and yes dads and granddads, but more women then men tbh) who struggle with a grand-nephews pronouns did more for trans rights by going out knocking doors for Harris one weekend, then shitty leftist posters (trans and not) who endlessly attacked Dems and voting.

any ways I'm sorry all this is happening, idk what state you're in or how bad it is or will be. I don't have easy answers for living through this long night of the soul. As Thomas Paine put it all those years ago "These are the times that try men's souls: The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman." it is trying my soul, but I will endure as we all must endure, we can not give up we cannot fail, we cannot allow ourselves to be ground down by fascists, and by their handmaids who act as if they're on our side, I hope everyone is looking to what they can do, and what the next chance they have to fight back and take back political power is.

[cementcornfield]

You should post your thoughts on Ja’Marr and Kyle!! I’m so interested in their dynamic if that makes sense 😅

lmao anon i love you thank you because i was literally just typing a post up by itself. but now i get the benefit of looking like i'm not the ONLY person to care about this. (there's at least two of us!!)

ok so! too much rambling about things that i could no way actually know anything about irl BUT 

kyle and ja’marr being together in paris is VERY interesting to me. their whole relationship is really because like. okay. i have joked that kyle and ja’marr are there to pick out joe’s wardrobe for next year together lmao but like!!! the clothes saga is SUCH a thing with ja’marr. the man has a Complex about joe and fashion and his part in it. we know this. i hardly need to go over the clothes saga with y’all again. but i will because it’s fun for me. ja’marr claims in GQ that he buys clothes for joe all the time and drops them off at 'the house’ for him. which is insane enough if that’s true. then a few days after that article drops (and also joe’s appendix explodes) he says nah never mind i was lying! (“kinda”). and that’s insane too. but whatever, we let it go, there’s football to play. then that offseason tee decides to cause some chaos i guess and confirms that actually ja’marr HAS bought joe clothes ‘multiple times’ so that’s. something!!! (along with TB in that one pivot podcast with all three of them teasing ja’marr about it!!) and then SOMEHOW none of this gets brought up again until a few months ago when ja’marr is just like “yeah actually i’ve been buying him clothes since last year” which is still a year later than he first said he bought him clothes 🤔

ALL OF WHICH TO SAY that ja’marr is fucking weird about this. he may or may not buy joe clothes (i’m still leaning yes on this), and he may or may not want people to know about it. i think he realizes just how intimate of a thing that is, to repeatedly buy someone you care about clothes that you think he would like, that you’d like to see him in. and i think if we go back to my Vision of insecure at times ja’marr, it’s one way to explain his back and forth on this.

but then!! insert kyle, who i believe only became joe’s stylist within the last year. before that i don’t think joe ever really had anyone Official to help him out with specific outfits/styles/branding etc (i’m sure the joe girlies will correct me if i'm wrong on this). and now i can only imagine that ja’marr might be feeling a little…possessive of joe here (what else is new lol ‘that’s my qb not their qb’ type shit). like if we believe he’s been buying him clothes since at least 2021, that’s like…that’s ja’marr’s Thing at this point?? even if it only started happening in 2023, that’s still a long time of "oh hey i saw this and thought of you and will you wear it and when you wear it will i feel a little thrill knowing that you took my advice knowing that you value my opinion knowing that the clothes touching your skin are only doing so because i bought them for you in the first place etc etc." and now here’s joe paying someone else to do it?? and who the fuck is kyle why him why does HE get to do it he didn’t even win a national championship with him in college???? (ja’marr obviously would be more rational than that. of course joe should pay someone to help him out with style as he does events and builds his brand more. but as a fellow Emotional Person myself, the rational response is never the first or strongest one.) 

so like! there’s that. that alone could make ja’marr not inclined to LOVE Kyle, ya know? and then if we want to get really Deep and dive into internalized homophobia of Male Athlete Culture. of my version (MY VERSION JUST MY VERSION THIS IS NOT ME SAYING ANYTHING IRL ABOUT HIM) of ja’marr and how he might cope with feelings and attractions that do not neatly fall in line with what is Expected of him and Has Been Expected of him since he was a kid. like fuck. do we remember how his dad said ja’marr used to like to read with his cousins (who were girls) but then his male friends came around and made fun of him for it, so he stopped reading altogether as a child?? thinking about that still makes my heart hurt! aughhh Gender!! and then even a few weeks ago on stream when ja’marr accidentally said that kyrie was sexy and IMMEDIATELY the chat and his friends jumped on him for it!! like yeah it was all lighthearted and all that but he got all embarrassed and even fucking apologized??? just the immediate policing of language/behavior followed by the immediate apology and moving on to no longer watching kyrie clips lol. crazy!!! Male Athlete Culture is SUCH a trip!! 

and kyle is gay! very much out and proud and not hiding or ashamed of any of it (fucking good for him tbh. i know he’s not Loved in this fandom but like that does genuinely take guts to be yourself like that in a culture like this. and make a career out of it! and he seems to be thriving!) and i just have to wonder like, how many queer people ja’marr really knows well?? the nfl has their corporate pride month bullshit where they celebrate the like 1 out gay assisant coach? 1 out gay FORMER player? if there are more queer people in the nfl, they are not very public about it. so again, how much daily interaction does a typical football player like ja’marr get with queer people?? i do imagine all the connections that are growing with the fashion world help of course! like kyle! who it’s clear he’s at least friendly with, if not the best of friends. and so like, i wonder about how that could stir complicated emotions in ja’marr if we go with my (AGAIN JUST MINE I’M NOT ACTUALLY SAYING ANYTHING IRL) version of him as a guy who has Feelings about male teammates sometimes and struggles with Dealing With That. 

and throw in the fact that ja’marr primarily knows him as this guy who’s always hanging around joe lol. taking over his role as joe’s personal stylist?? being free and open and ALLOWED to be attracted to all these guys, to joe himself!! (and if he thinks too hard about that he REALLY gets in his feelings). and it’s not jealousy really because he knows how important he himself is in joe’s life. kyle’s not replacing their history, he’s certainly not replacing his value to joe on the field, their close friendship, etc. but! he occupies a space in joe’s life that ja’marr can’t touch. he can publicly and proudly buy joe clothes. something that ja’marr WANTS but keeps shying away from. he can feel any feelings and any attraction he happens to have, he’s not hiding any part of who he is. if he thinks joe’s hot, if he thinks joe looks particularly attractive in an outfit he chose for him, he can! he will! he does! and i think that that just HAS to drive ja’marr a little fucking crazy.

so yeah. he likes the guy. they’re friendly. he’ll do a goofy lil dance when prompted by him for social media. but it’s Complicated. it’s Very Complicated. (to me.) 

[cwritesforfun]

Emperor Geta x Fem!Reader: Escape part three

Part One Link <~ read first Part Two Link <~ read this too

Y/N = Your First Name & L/N = Your Last Name

They will not follow the Roman style of speech - it will be written in modern language.

*I do not own the Gladiator 2 characters or plot* I do change some of the plot!!!

Masterlist

Y/N's POV

Geta rested for a while, and eventually, you realized he was here to stay. He had told you countless times that he wanted to stay, but it hit you that he really did want to.

You thought that him staying would be easy, but why should it be?

Geta disagreed with your leadership style to the point where he kept arguing with you in and out of court. You finally had it with his constant disapproval, and you made your guards escort him out of the room. The rest of the day at court was tense for you. Everyone seemed to be walking on ice around you.

You meet Geta in one of the sitting rooms in the palace and have tea delivered. You take a cautious sip and ask, "So, Geta, would you like to tell me about what was wrong today in court?" Geta glances at you and answers, "I just don't like the way you let everyone have a say in court proceedings. I also didn't believe some of those crimes should have been pardoned. They deserved to be executed." Your eyes widen, and you reply, "I see. Geta, I let everyone have a say in what happens at court because that is what happens in this country. I let everyone preach their case and why they think I should listen to them. It keeps people happy to know that their views have been heard. It also ensures that I know the full story going into the proceedings. I know Rome was different, but you are not in Rome now." He looks distraught, and you continue, "And as for the crimes being pardoned, I think you would benefit learning from my advisors about the rulings in my country. I'll talk to them tonight, and you can attend lessons during the next couple of weeks so you can better understand my decisions. I don't like how you reacted in court and think you can also learn how to better express your disagreements. I'll make sure that is included in your lessons." He asks, "Anything else?" You answer, "I think it might be best if you sleep in another room while you attend the lessons so you can try to remain unbiased. Knowing how I would think may influence your lessons.” He reaches out for my hand and replies, "I thought we weren't going to be parting ways again." You reply, "We're not exactly parting ways. I'll still be at the palace and join you for dinner. Besides, I believe some time apart will benefit us. We began this relationship quickly and with an intensity that no others can grasp." He nods and replies, "Fine, as you wish, your majesty."

Geta's POV

How can one sit through boring lessons all day and not be annoyed?

I keep telling myself that I'm doing this for Y/N, but really, her choices of people to lead my lessons are a drag. For the first week of my lessons, I sat in lessons with her old governess from when she was a child. This lady was cold and stubborn. She kept snapping at me, and she treated me like a child. The second week, I was with her foreign advisor, who was a persnickety old man who kept quizzing me on viewpoints of this country. I kept thinking of how I would react as Emperor of Rome, which was the wrong thing to do. Speaking of Rome, apparently, it thrives under Lucius' reign. Both of these lessons required extra reading too. They had Y/N's notes inside and she often included little jokes that made me smile. I love her. However, the third week of lessons was my favorite. I learned from her military advisor who was both kind and fierce. His team respected him and followed him. He was kind to me and it seemed he actually liked me.

If I thought that was bad, well, I have been attending lessons early in the morning until dinnertime, where I must sit with Y/N and other members of her court as they all chat about their lives. I don't always get to sit next to Y/N, and she rarely acknowledges me. I just want to hold her and kiss her, but her guards keep strict protection around her. Almost no one can even talk to her. Am I a threat? Why is she ignoring me? I need to talk to her. Does she love me?

I'm sitting in my room with a book after my last lesson when a guard informs me that Y/N wishes to speak to me before dinner. Finally.

I get dressed and follow the guard to the sitting room nearest the dining hall. I enter with a smile on my face and see my lovely Y/N sitting at the desk. She stands, walks toward me, and guides me to the couches. I notice her pour two glasses of alcohol from the bottle on the nearby table and I ask, "Love, what is wrong?" She hands me a glass and answers, "I pushed you away wrongly. There was a threat to my life, and I wanted to protect you. So I sent you away. I do believe those lessons were something that you should have done, but I shouldn't have ignored your presence the rest of the time. I'm sorry." I quickly grab her open hand and ask, "What about this threat? Is it neutralized?" She nods and answers, "We apprehended the team this morning after my tea was poisoned. They were trying to harm me because they heard I sheltered you here. They escaped Rome to live here, away from you and Calla's rule. They are being held in prison for the attempted assassination. And as for the tea, well, I noticed it looked weird and I had my doctor test it for anything out of the ordinary. They used a generic poison and we found it quickly." I reply, "Don't send me away again. I'm here for you, no matter what. I love you, my Y/N... does the threat because of me scare you? Will you send me away?" She shakes her head and answers, "No, love. I'm not sending you away. I tightened security, and we'll make sure my people know you are no longer a threat to their lives. This is not Rome, and I would not stand for mistreatment of my people." I ask, "How will you tell them this?" She answers, "It's an idea that I wanted to run past you. I think an engagement is in order." I jokingly answer, "I would like to be engaged to the governess." She tilts her head and asks, "What?" I answer, "I was kidding. I was trying to make you jealous." She replies, "Oh, I'm not threatened by her." I bite my lip, smirk, and reply, "Non-jealousy looks hot on you." She laughs and says, "I meant for us to be engaged, silly." My eyes widen and I say, "I accept your proposal, Queen. I would love to be your husband." She smiles and says, "I am happy to be your wife soon, too... We'll draft a speech for us to give to my people, so they may know the Geta that I love." . . . Taglist: @doodle-with-rhy @ziggeddie

[imthatpowerful]

a lot of you guys don’t realize how much control you have over your reality.

even tho u say u know ur in control, do you really???

i used to know that fact but still deep down i’d have hope that an outside force or the 3d would make me shift. and that’s been my biggest mistake. and it’s not a matter of believing. it’s a matter of knowing. i saw a post say how believing is different than knowing. believeing in something means it’s not really set in stone, and with solid evidence of the opposite of your belief, can make you stop believing of change your beliefs. but knowing is more set in stone. you know it for a fact and that’s really what sets believing and knowing apart. it’s why we’re all still on this journey. we don’t only believe shifting is real. we know it is. otherwise we wouldn’t be on this journey still. or when you see something that is a sign. you don’t believe it is a sign. you know it’s a sign.

where i’m trying to get with this is that, i may have believed that im in control, but i didn’t truly know how in control i was. because of all the misinfo ive been fed on shifting and manifesting when i first learned about it, my beliefs are so deeply rooted in me but deep down, i know its much simpler and easier than that, i just need to stop letting my thoughts and beliefs sway me. the thing is, i’ve always known it was meant to be easy and natural but i ran by my beliefs and ignored my guts. i listened to everyone when i should’ve listened to myself.

you have to realize everything happens for a reason. you are in complete control of everything. there is no outside force. the 3d is not in control, you are. time is not your enemy. you can absolutely make things happen instantly, you js have to allow it and accept and know its already yours.

it’s not needed but it’s really helpful to get into the mindset of knowing everything bends at your will. enter this state of mind and watch how your beliefs and thought process flips on its own. you have to persist and accept it. become the person who can get their wildest dreams faster than the speed of light. but you don’t need that mindset to shift or manifest. but it is helpful!

i tho will definitely work on that. i noticed my current I AM state is being the girl who is trying to get everything she wants but is a slave to time and the 3d and other outside forces. but from now on, i’m the girl who knows she can get whatever she wants whenever she wants. the 3d bends to me and time is out of my way. i control the 3d and time and everything. i know im in control of everything.

[kittenfangirl20]

Charlie adjusted the black and green dress she was wearing. She mainly looked the same except her eyes were green her hair was in space buns where half of it was black and half of it was green.

Lucifer: We need to find Adam.

He held up the wanted poster bearing the image of Adam wearing the helmet.

Charlie: Wait, are you talking about Adam the leader of the Exorcists. He has been leading a group of angels to overthrow my dad. Turns out they killed his mom and sister causing Heaven to fall into chaos. I felt bad for that happening.

Lucifer: Yes, he is my true love. If I kiss him things will go back to the way they were.

Up in the royal palace of Hell Mammon and Lilith were watching them.

Lilith: Who is that with our daughter darling?

Mammon: Don’t worry darling, soon he won’t be a problem anymore.

The day that Mammon took from Lucifer’s life was the day he was created. Now he came to Eden to seduce Lilith as she tormented Adam. They still tricked Adam into eating the Forbidden Fruit leaving him cursed. Maybe they could use Lucifer to help them find Adam so they could bring down the Exorcists.

Charlie: Rumor has it that Satan has given the Exorcists shelter in the Wrath Ring.

Lucifer: That sounds like him, Satan has a bit of soft spot for Adam.

Lucifer opened a portal to the Wrath Ring to find themselves surrounded by angels in black and silver. The crowd parted to let Adam through, he was wearing his dark blue robes and his helmet covered his head, but Lucifer knew it was his Adam. On one side was Lute and on the other side was Vaggie. Charlie couldn’t help but blush when she saw Vaggie. She was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.

Adam: Who the fuck are you and why are you with Mammon’s brat?

Lucifer: I know this is hard to believe, but I am your husband. More than just your husband, I am your true love.

Adam: If you are my true love, where the fuck were you when I was locked in that tower in Purgatory?

Lucifer: That was one thing I was wondering about. Who saved you from that tower?

Adam: I fucking saved myself because no one else was coming for me. If you truly loved me you would have come a long time ago.

Adam stormed off and went into the building he was staying in. He threw aside the helmet he was wearing as tears filled his eyes. Since it was still day he was in his angel form as tears fell from his eyes. But he knew at night he would become a demonic fallen angel. He looked up in anger when he saw Lucifer come in.

Lucifer: Please let me make it up to you. If I kiss you, we can go back to the life we had and our children.

Adam felt unbearable pain. All he ever wanted was to find true love and have a family. What if this was his chance.

Adam: What do I do?

Lucifer: Let me kiss you, I know of your curse. You look like this by day and by night you take on the form of a fallen angel that is a lamb demon.

Adam: How did you know that?

Lucifer: Because we are meant to be together.

Adam closed his eyes hoping that Lucifer was right. Lucifer kissed Adam and while it was everything Adam dreamed of in a kiss, nothing changed. Adam shoved Lucifer away from him.

Adam: Fuck you. I knew this was too good to be true.

Lucifer sadly left, it made him feel worse when he heard Adam sobbing again.

Lute: You really fucked up, at least try to woo Adam before kissing him.

Lucifer: You’re right, I will get all the presents that I know Adam will love. I will do everything in my power to get Adam to love me again.

Lute: Good luck, you’ll need it.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

(Shrek AU)

A long time ago there was a beautiful garden called Eden. In the garden, Adam and Lilith the first man and first woman were created. He was so beautiful that the angels came from Heaven to marvel at the beauty of the first humans. Adam fell in love with the most beautiful of all of God’s angels, Lucifer. But Lucifer was swayed by the words of Lilith and ran away with her. Lilith convinced Lucifer to convince Adam to eat the Forbidden Fruit. Because of this Adam was cursed when he died. By day he was a beautiful angel, by night he was a fallen and demonic angel. Only the kiss of true love could break that curse and then he would take on the form of his lover. Adam was put in a tower in Purgatory guarded by a brave angel named Vaggie.

Charlie: I got all the papers dad, I hope that Michael will listen to us.

Lucifer: I doubt it, he may be your uncle, but he never cared for me.

Charlie had a plan to open a hotel to redeem Sinners, but she needed the backing of Heaven to make this dream come true. She had the hotel set up, she just needed the blessing.

Alastor: Don’t worry dear, I will protect the hotel while you are gone.

Lucifer gave Alastor a death glare while he gripped his staff. It had been seven years since Lilith left them and Lucifer was doing everything in his power to prove he was a good father. But it felt like Alastor was trying to steal Charlie from him as the manager of the hotel. The only guest of the hotel Angel hugged Charlie and wished her luck as they made their way to the Embassy of Heaven. They were greeted by Michael who looked exactly like Lucifer except for one thing. He only went up to Lucifer’s shoulders.

Charlie: I didn’t know that that the great warrior angel was shorter than you.

Lucifer couldn’t help, but laugh, Lucifer knew he was short, but Michael made him look tall. It was a sore subject for the warrior angel.

Michael: I should deny your request for that.

Lucifer: I guess that is why I have always been the bigger man.

He should have kept his mouth shut, but he was angry for how his brother was acting towards Charlie.

Michael: But I am merciful today, I am to be married and I need you to get my blushing bride from Purgatory.

Lucifer: Who is the poor soul that is going to be bound to you for an eternity?

Michael: Adam, the first man who is now an angel.

Lucifer gulped, he thought of Adam and how he wished that he could have chosen him over Lilith. He thought of the beautiful man in the garden who begged to be held by Lucifer as he flew up in the sky. It might be for the best that he make it up to Adam by bringing him to Heaven and be married to Michael.

Lucifer: So if I bring you Adam to marry you, you will get Heaven’s blessing for the hotel.

Michael: Yes.

Lucifer: Then we have a deal.

Michael went back to heaven leaving the two alone.

Charlie: Where is purgatory dad?

Lucifer: It's like an in-between land, it's neither holy or hellish. There is only one entry and exit. It's filled with all of God's rejected creations that weren't pure enough for heaven and too dangerous for Hell.

Charlie: So, Adam is a reject?

Lucifer winced: I wouldn't say that. He was God's favorite creation, I have no idea why he's there in the first place.

They went to the edge of Hell where it met with the path to Heaven, there was a grey archway with a portal in the middle of it.

Walking through, the whole world of Purgatory was shades of grey, all the plants looked narly and twisted.

Charlie: Oh my.....

They had no idea how long it would take to find Adam, but they didn't have all day.

-

Adam looked out his tower window sadly, another day stuck in his own personal Hell. He was so sick of the color grey.

Even the lava around the castle was a bright shade of grey.

When Vaggie would make her rounds to ensure that no monsters showed up and that Adam was safe, that was the only time he got to talk to someone.

He wished he could leave this place.

[whentherewerebicycles]

the moon looked bigger in real life

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

this whole fear of repressed memories regarding sexual abuse has been following me around for years, probably since I became aware of memory loss/repressed trauma in the first place, but idk why it's been so intense this summer and it's really really frustrating how every time I think I've worked through it and gotten over it, I see a picture or someone says something and I'm all "I'M SCARED THAT THIS FAMILY MEMBER RAPED ME AS A KID AND I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER IT" and like. it's so frustrating because it's literally a symptom of OCD or whatever that I can't stop going over and over and over this, and it's driving me nuts that I can't seem to trust my own mind

[satorugojoswiife]

idk sometimes seeing all the hate gege gets makes me sad. :( like I know alot of it is jokes/memes, but there are some people that are very serious and weird about it

[tableofleg]

Ik this post is old now but I'm sharing in hopes that this will help at least one other on their own journey!! I don't think we could ever have enough anecdotes for the arospec community.

I did not realize I was aromantic for a very, very long time. And the tells weren't obvious for me either. I didn't have the wider experience of just never developing a crush or finding an interest in romance. I had crushes (or so i thought), I dated, I had long term relationships and non-stop, back-to-back talking stages. For my entire life. My first kiss was in kindergarten. I have a vivid memory of chanting to myself "i have a crush on __" until I believed it because i felt so bad that i didn't like this boy back in 4th grade. But what I realized after over 15 years of never ending "dating" is that I acted on a desire for attention as opposed to a desire for true (romantic) connection.

The first sign I noticed was that I "dated" (bc let's be real do we really count any of our relationships before graduating high school) every single boy who showed interest in me. Among other things and ofc we all know how the good ol' sexuality crisis goes, I thought I'd finally uncovered it and I was just a lesbian. Because you know what, yeah, I don't actually like men at all. But this never felt right for me.

Because I had never had a girl crush. Not really. I find them so beautiful, and I would love intimacy, but I had simply never met a girl that I was attracted to or would want to take on dates. I was dragging my feet to get on dating apps or go out to meet them. Because honestly I hated dates too. For years my relationships very rarely had dates because of how much I dreaded them. Didn't want to be perceived as a couple in public. I'd cry and tell myself no one will assume we're dating and then I would be overly formal and never touch or flirt with them because of how disgusting and uncomfortable it made me feel.

Compared to how I am with my best friends...aromanticism just made so much sense to me. I have never held my partner to a higher standard or priority than my best friend. I love them so dearly and we hang out all the time and it fulfills me. I have everything I want and need out of my social relationships, and once I realized I could stop searching to fill a hole that didn't exist, I felt so liberated and so much fuller. Life felt brighter for me without a pressure put on myself for my entire life.

It's been a journey. There are highs and lows. It makes me sad that I can't connect with someone the way my fanfic characters do (because I still love love and romance! Love everything about it), and it's weird reframing and deconstructing a belief that shapes whole life experiences. I have not known life without companionship, and although I still don't, I just view my companionship in a better way now that's framed with loved ones who truly care for me and vice versa.

Aromanticism to me is filled with so much love, ironic as it sounds lol. For me there is just so much love that I want to give, all of it just happens to come out the same way :)

Aros of any kind, can yall reblog this post with your experiences being aromantic please? I’m writing a song about being aromantic and I figured including community experiences would make it more… full? relatable? ykwim

so yeah, please rb this with any experiences and/or grievances abt being aro that you have