#and just....the way things were in the online community at the time?? all that creativity and brainstorming and sense of togetherness

[guiltycorp]

Damn i really want to know tf happened in the writing room of arcane s2. Some of the downgrades were inevitable due to the show's corporate limitations (not being able to progress the class war story in a meaningful way, having to tie things back to league of legends in terms of making playable characters more appealing to well, play... rip Mel and Viktor in particular), sure. But i still feel like it's even worse than that? There are so many bad decisions that i couldn't even start listing them all... the characters, plot, pacing, themes, it's just such a mess? Even the dialogue writing, it feels much more mm Marvel at its worst i suppose. What i am most bothered by is probably just the straight up harmful messaging so um... Cycles of violence and abuse can be broken by individual decisions to become a better person! Got nothing to do with systemic oppression, living conditions, mental health issues, you can just conveniently ignore aaall the social context, live laugh love and then things get better automatically yep, oppressors famously stop oppressing you when you show them that you're harmless and won't put up a fight anymore. Literally three out of three suicidal characters dying to redeem themselves? Not even in a tragic/cathartic way but in a bittersweet 'they finally atoned for their mistakes' way? Groundbreaking lmao. Romantic relationship between Vi and Caitlyn including no communication about their biggest fight, just conveniently skipping to sex and getting back together - would have loved that if it was framed as the unhealthy fucked up thing that it is, skipping over Vi's hurt and her background to once again become a cop, her girlfriend's direct underling at that (!) due to her not having any other support systems... But nope that was our cute lesbian romance wrapped up, a good thing all around, not concerning at all. Jayce telling Viktor that what he 'always admired about him' was his disability and his deadly disease (??? from a character who spent the whole s1 and first act of s2 desperately trying to help Viktor find a cure? sure) and that those imperfections don't need fixing, just wtf truly. Magic bullshit was also weird, some implications of 'natural magic is ok, but achieving that power through other means corrupts you into a crazy robot bitch or just wilts your trees i guess', but tbh it was written in such a weird and inconsistent way that we can skip this one... Yeah actually a lot of things were just such a mess that I feel silly pointing to specific moments or lines I didn't like, I mean duh, it barely makes sense as a story at all... I am happy we have s1 which comparatively was a masterpiece, and i also really enjoyed s2 act1, i truly believed it would lead somewhere good at the time, my mind still kind of cuts off the story at that point when i think about it, that WAS the open ending of the show to me (is it possible that there were rewrites? targeting act 2 and 3? idk, wishful thinking perhaps). Despite my extremely negative feelings about this season's conclusion i remain glad that so many people appreciate the show regardless, it is clear that there was STILL a lot of love in the process of its creation (although i'd argue that even some of the visual aspects of the show suffered in quality, once again i have to wonder about behind the scenes mood of it all) and i get very upset when i see creatives online despairing over reception of their projects even when i'm absolutely in the disgruntled crowd hahaha... ...however yeah, this wasn't great In a world that increasingly grows more and more right-wing politically... we really needed something different i think.

[leqclerc]

Help girl I’m doing it again (thinking about 2019-2020 until my tummy hurts)

[agentromanoffsir]

neocities guide - why you should build your own html website

do you miss the charm of the 90s/00s web where sites had actual personality instead of the same minimalistic theme? are you feeling drained by social media and the constant corporate monopoly of your data and time? do you want to be excited about the internet again? try neocities!!

what is neocities?

neocities is a free hosting website that lets you build your own html website from scratch, with total creative control. in their own words: "we are tired of living in an online world where people are isolated from each other on boring, generic social networks that don't let us truly express ourselves. it's time we took back our personalities from these sterilized, lifeless, monetized, data mined, monitored addiction machines and let our creativity flourish again."

why should I make my own website?

web3 has been overtaken by capitalism & conformity. websites that once were meant to be fun online social spaces now exist solely to steal your data and sell you things. it sucks!! building a personal site is a great way to express yourself and take control of your online experience.

what would I even put on a website?

the best part about making your own site is that you can do literally whatever the hell you want! focus on a specific subject or make it a wild collection of all your interests. share your art! make a shrine for one of your interests! post a picture of every bird you see when you step outside! make a collection of your favorite blinkies! the world is your oyster !! here are some cool example sites to inspire you: recently updated neocities sites | it can be fun to just look through these and browse people's content! space bar | local interstellar dive bar creature feature | halloween & monsters big gulp supreme peanutbuttaz | personal site dragodiluna linwood | personal site patho grove | personal site

getting started: neocities/html guide

sound interesting? here are some guides to help you get started, especially if you aren't familiar with html/css sadgrl.online webmastery | a fantastic resource for getting started with html & web revival. also has a layout builder that you can use to start with in case starting from scratch is too intimidating web design in 4 minutes | good for learning coding basics w3schools | html tutorials templaterr | demo & html for basic web elements eggramen test pages | css page templates to get started with sadgrl background tiles | bg tiles rivendell background tiles | more free bg tiles

fun stuff to add to your site

want your site to be cool? here's some fun stuff that i've found blinkies-cafe | fantastic blinkie maker! (run by @transbro & @graphics-cafe) gificities | internet archive of 90s/00s web gifs internet bumper stickers | web bumper stickers momg | gif gallery 99 gif shop | 3d gifs 123 guestbook | add a guestbook for people to leave messages cbox | add a live chat box moon phases | track the phases of the moon gifypet | a little clickable page pet adopt a shroom | mushroom page pet tamaNOTchi | virtual pet crossword puzzle | daily crossword imood | track your mood neko | cute cat that chases your mouse pollcode | custom poll maker website hit counter | track how many visitors you have

web revival manifestos & communities

also, there's actually a pretty cool community of people out there who want to bring joy back to the web! melonland project | web project/community celebrating individual & joyful online experiences. Also has an online forum melonland intro to web revival | what is web revival? melonking manifesto | status cafe | share your current status nightfall city | online community onio.cafe | leave a message and enjoy the ambiance sadgrl internet manifesto | yesterweb internet manifesto | sadly defunct, still a great resource reclaiming online social spaces | great manifesto on cultivating your online experience

in conclusion

i want everyone to make a neocities site because it's fun af and i love seeing everyone's weird personal sites that they made outside of the control of capitalism :) say hi to me on neocities

[uyuforu]

Astro Observations: Uyu's Solar Return Chart for 2024-2025

My birthday is very soon, so I thought of doing an analysis of my solar return chart, which starts the day before my birthday, so August 5th. I hope you can enjoy this post! I will focus on conjunctions or important aspects mostly here, I don't want the post to be too long. If you see an aspect that hasn't been mentions and would like to give your opinion, feel free to do it in the comments ^^

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ Solar Return Chart I

જ⁀➴ Solar Return Chart II

જ⁀➴ Uranus in the Solar Return

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A Solar Return Chart (SRC) is an astrological predictive tool that enable you to discover what will happen for you during the year of your birthday. It is based on the return of your Sun, so your Sun will have the same exact position as in your Natal Chart.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Sun 10H means focus on this year is on career, popularity and success in those areas. I can be more popular and achieve a certain level of fame this year. I can also be more successful in my career and perhaps more known in it too. I can make a name for myself.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Moon 10H means I'll be more connected to my work emotionally. But that also means caring more about my work. I'll be very focused on my career. I can also be prone to stress more about my career this year. This placement also suggests emotions based on work. But it means my emotions will be public too. Also working from home.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mercury 10H means I can write more for work, I can communicate more also at work or for work. I'll talk a lot about work, or ideas perhaps too. A time to work online a lot, and I can also communicate a lot with clients. I can be talked about more this year for my career, or even reputation matters too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Virgo Mercury can mean expressing ourselves in a very logical and analytical way this year. Mercury in Virgo makes us talk in a more serious tone, or just more detailed one too. There are less emotions, meaning we also express ourselves based on what is more logical to do, and less based on how we feel.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Venus 10H means big success in my career this year! Recognition will def happen. It can mean also I will love what I do for living this year. This can also mean meeting more people related to my job, and make more friends who are coworkers. And this can also mean having more connections too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mars 8H can be a sign of having s3x often this year, and to be more intimate than before too. This can be a year you'll have a lot of steamy moments. It can also indicate some people being "obsessed" with me. I can manifest more easily this year too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Jupiter 8H also is an indicator of having a lot of s3x this year. It can also be an indicator of some people having a crush on me. This is also an indicator of being able to manifest more. But it can also mean receiving an inheritance, or someone will give me a lot of money this year. I can also buy a big thing, such as a house for example.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Saturn 5H means this year I can learn lessons about being more mature. But also knowing when to have fun, and knowing when to be serious. I won't be pregnant this year too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Uranus 7H means having unexpected events happening in your love life. Meeting people unexpectedly. I could also meet people I never thought I would meet. Ruler tells a lot. My Ruler is in 10H, so I could meet people for work or who will help me in my work. I can also have a sudden contract for work. Uranus also represents change, so sudden change and transformation happening in my love life, and a contract can also transform my career suddenly.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Neptune 5H means embracing my creativity this year, having a lot of ideas, perhaps being inspired by dreams. But it can also mean being very unique with this, and people might copy me lol. I can also tend to romanticize life or my hobbies this year, and I can discover and have more hobbies!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Pluto 3H means people can gossip a lot about me, and I wouldn't be surprised since I have a 10H stellium. Pluto opposite my sun, this could also be a sign of talking behind my back. Pluto 3H is also a sign of transformation related to my voice, how I think, some of my opinions, my siblings, I can also obsess about things more easily. This is also an indicator of discovering secrets or truth. Since Pluto is in Aquarius and so ruler is Uranus, my Uranus is in 7H in this SRC, this can be discovering truth or secrets about a romantic partner.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Vertex 8H means a transformative experience in general, and it's destined, Vertex is all about things that will eventually happen. And it's also a sign of getting proposed to ;-; It can be a sudden proposal. It can also be an indicator of studying more esoteric or occult matters.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Part of Fortune 1H can be an indicator of a glow up, or just feeling blesses, happy and content with our appearance. It can also mean having good opportunities related to our looks.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Chiron 6H can mean a pet in my family can pass away. Ruler is also in 8H, so this can happen. Otherwise, it can be a sign of having a weak health or just some problems with health due to overworking. It can also mean healing health issues.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Scorpio Rising 0° means a huge transformation is coming. I can change physically but also mentally this year, and it can actually be drastic. The last time I had this placement, I lost weight, and I also had a glow up. This can mean the same thing, and POF being in my 1H, conjunct my rising, it can mean the same. It can also mean attracting jealous people.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Taurus DSC can be a sign of entering a long term and serious relationhsip, and attracting people who want the same.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Leo MC is a sign of success and fame potential in career this year! Also excellent reputation. Can be noticed and known easily this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 1H Ruler in 3H can mean people can gossip about me because of how I look. People can also talk a lot about me this year just because of me, my aura, no real reasons can be there tbh. I can be talked about a lot this year, people talking a lot about me, what I do, etc. This can be a year where I'll travel, learn, write, and just want to know more.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ SRC 1H Ruler in Natal 2H means I can attract more money this year, and I can make a lot more than I used to have. I can also change my aesthetic. I can also shop more!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 1H Ruler conjunct IC can mean living alone, or moving, detaching from family.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 2H Ruler in 3H can mean I'll talk a lot about my possessions, but it can also mean people gossip about what I own, and what I buy.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 3H Ruler in 5H can be a sign of doing or receiving a love declaration. I can sing more perhaps this year. This can also be a sign of going on vacations more this year. I can also dance more this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 4H Ruler in 7H is a sign of moving in with a romantic partner. Also the sign of starting a long term relationship.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 5H Ruler in 5H is a sign to enter a romantic relationship this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 6H Ruler in 8H perhaps means to be obsessed with work and to work so much it can become unhealthy. It can also be an indicator of falling sick because of busy schedule.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 7H Ruler in 10H is a major sign to enter a serious and long term relationship!

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 8H Ruler in 10H is another indicator of being obsessed with work, working a lot, and perhaps also my career having a huge transformation.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 9H Ruler in 10H means if I travel, I can travel for work mostly. I can also learn more for my career. Make more researches, etc.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 10H Ruler in 10H can be a sign of more fame or a better reputation in my work, being more known.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 11H Ruler in 10H means using more social medias for my career this year, or just being more seen online?

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Groom 8H can mean being more intimate with my FS this year! It can also means there will be a transformative experience happening with him. It can also mean that I can have hot moments with him this year lol.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Juno 11H can mean talking with someone I love/ have a crush on online a lot, or long distance relationship. Calling and texting your lover a lot. It is also an indicator of being in a relationship this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Natal Venus conjunct SR Venus means this is a very important year for my love life. Not the main focus, but there will be major events happening in this area too. Usually it can be a time when something big will happen. And Venus is entering in Virgo in August 2024, and it's my Venus return, so it's starting right away! Last time I had a Venus Return was when I met my FS.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ 10H Stellium is a big indicator of success in career, recognition in career, and just being in the spotlight. It is an indicator of having a major success in our career that can makes us level up in our life and reputation. Also an indicator of fame.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Sun conjunct Moon means feeling stable emotionally speaking this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mercury conjunct Venus can be a sign of having a love declaration this year, or doing one. But it's also a sign of writing love letters, or being very romantic usually. It can also mean getting more compliments this year! Also a sign of being proposed to.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Juno conjunct Union can mean meeting or being in union with a romantic partner.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Venus sextile Boda, this is a wedding indicator lol, but if I see something related to wedding happening that year it's more a proposal than an actual wedding ;-;

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Saturn conjunct Neptune can be a sign of self doubt, and I have this placement in 5H, so this can make me insecure related to my love life, or I can feel insecure and it can create obstacles in my love life. It can also mean me being doubtful or my imagination and creativity. And I can also doubt about things in my love life.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Uranus conjunct DSC means something will change about my love life.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Venus conjunct Juno is a sign to be in a relationship this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mars conjunct Jupiter can be a sign of have a lot of steamy times this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Jupiter conjunct Groom can mean something good will happen with my FS this year, perhaps also Groom or me can travel to the other, but I feel like Groom more. this can be an indicator of being in a relationship or being proposed to.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Mars conjunct Groom can be a sign of having s3x with your FS. But it can also mean there will be fights with them too.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Vertex conjunct Groom can be a sign of meeting FS but also of having some important moments happening with FS. Usually the years where you have that placement, you can encounter and spend time with your FS.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Sun conjunct MC means being the center of attention this year, being seen and noticed a lot. People will just focus on me.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Scorpio 2H can mean spending more money or making more money this year. I can either be obsessed with my belongings, or I can just spend more because I make money.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Capricorn 3H can mean being more serious about the way I speak and express myself, but also more dedicated too. I can also speak a lot about work.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Aquarius 4H means relationship with family members can change, evolve. I can also move, something will be different about my home and family than the previous years. Something will change, and perhaps a new family member can come (marriage, in laws, babies, etc.)

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Pisces 5H can mean very creative and romantic this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Aries 6H means more energies to my routine, and being very busy this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Taurus 7H means finding love is more possible, since I have a Venus sign over the 7H. But it can make me attract serious and long term relationships this year.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Taurus 8H can mean I can be less worried about money this year. I am also more chill.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Cancer 9H, I don't think I'll travel much this year. I could still, but it won't perhaps be too much in foreign lands. If I do travel in foreign lands, it can be perhaps related to homes, so I could live in foreign lands eventually. But it doesn't seem like a big placement.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; request ; rules

[weirdwonderfulworld]

and on steven............. i can't even express how gross it felt to see the ways people reached to ruin his name and abuse him online. demonic behavior.

i didn't start watching watcher bc of steven, i'm gonna be honest. but his content, character, and yes, his mere influence on the company is one of the biggest reasons watcher came to be one of my favorite youtube channels.

i fell in love with steven and his content through dish granted, the way he poured in all his creative effort and know-how so that he could give his friends and loved ones a special, personalized, larger-than-life meal. i thought it was so sweet, and that show is actually one my favorites on the channel.

i still remember how impressed i was to hear steven had proposed to his now-wife with a lab-grown diamond ring, bc he intentionally wanted something more sustainable.

i remember steven's speech for his unforgettable gala award, the way he listed out the asian content creators who came before him, who shaped the space and influenced him. he carried himself with humility, respect, and reverence for the past, and i thought it was extremely admirable.

i remember the "making watcher" episode where shane and ryan outright said that steven was the reason for watcher's survival. how steven stepped up to handle the business side of things when nobody else could. of course the guy isn't a businessman. he's a creative. but he stepped away from his own passions to make sure their company could stay afloat.

and did you notice how many employees at watcher are asian? these folks are damn talented, damn good at their jobs. i don't have direct proof of this, but i just know that steven had a hand in making watcher an incredibly safe and inclusive place to work for asian folks and other minorities. and as an asian viewer, i could feel that influence in the videos. i can feel the care watcher takes to make inclusive content, to make content that feels like the people behind it care. for watcher, "asian" isn't a buzzword someone slaps onto a video to make it sound interesting. it's cultural, it's natural, it's loving. i can't explain it but i feel that distinction and it carries the same exact energy steven does in his videos.

so it was incredibly wild and surreal to have fans try their best to tear all of that down, because he misspoke in the announcement video and... he drives a tesla? i don't even have to touch on that because people know how inconsequential that is to the matter at hand. i don't know how else to make you believe that steven driving a tesla is not an indication of him being evil or an immoral level of wealthy. like be for fucking real, please.

i have never felt so disconnected with this community than i did watching people attack steven for business decisions made by multiple grown-ass people. i will never look at this community the same way i did before. i know all this time, people were jumping for a reason to villainize steven. and nobody can convince me i don't know why.

[the-kaedageist]

I used to be a lurker. I was painfully shy online, and I spent 20 years being changed fundamentally as a person by fics and not saying anything to the authors. It was such a deeply private thing, and I was terrified to leave comments or interact in any way, so I just carried these offerings around in myself. 

Discovering how to become healthily active and involved in fandom - and learning how to overcome my fear of online interaction - has been incredible. I’ve made so many friends and built an amazing community over the last six years. But this post isn’t about that.

There are days I have to remind myself - I have no idea how many readers like my former self are out there. You will never truly know how your creative work - whether it be writing, art, crafts, etc - touches most people who stumble across it. You will never know how many people utterly loved your creation and were too shy to say anything.

This post is not shaming lurkers - nothing you could have said to me at the time would have changed me, and shame and guilt from knowing I should be leaving feedback and not doing so just fed my fear. It didn’t have anything to do with not wanting to participate in fandom or share my experiences with authors so they’d know they made an impact - it was a block in myself that I had to work through and overcome.

Because I was one once, I know they’re out there. I know they’re reading my stories, having their lives changed by them, and not saying anything. Just because they didn’t leave feedback doesn’t mean they loved my writing any less than someone who did. I will never know how many people I’ve touched with my writing, but because I put it out there, I know I have touched them. 

I want all creators to take that with them when they’re feeling tired or unappreciated or like nothing they create matters. You put something incredible out into the world, made from your beautiful, creative human brain. Every comment is the tip of the iceberg. Yes, this post is about you. If you’re a popular artist or a prolific writer with tons of comments and kudos, or if you’ve written one short fic for a small fandom and received two comments: they’re out there, loving your work. You’ve touched someone, and this is what it means to create and be human.

[cyberstudious]

✨ 📖 ✏️ studyblr masterpost jam ✏️ 📖 ✨

📌 what is this?

this is a masterpost jam, like a game jam or a hackathon or a writing challenge, but for creating masterposts! the goal is to share knowledge and resources, as well as connect with other cool folks on tumblr! this challenge was born out of the studyblr community, but anyone who loves learning is welcome to participate. each day, share a masterpost following the prompts below and tag your posts with the hashtag #studyblrmasterpostjam so we can all reblog them and share the love <3

🗓️ when is this happening?

the main challenge will run August 12th through August 18th, although you're welcome to participate on your own timeline :)

✨ everyone is encouraged to participate in whatever way is comfortable!

you don't have to be an academic or a professional! tell us about your special interest, a favorite hobby or craft, or something else that you like learning about!

even if you're a beginner, you still have a valuable perspective that's worth sharing (and writing posts for this challenge is a great way to do some research and learn!).

you don't have to do all of the days or share posts on the "right" day! pick and choose your faves if you want, combine things, and take as long as you need to put them together.

you don't have to make super long posts! if you have a single resource or tip to share, please do and we will appreciate it all the same <3

if you don't want to write any posts, you can still participate by reading posts that other people make and reblogging them so we can all learn from each other!

please feel free to interpret the prompts below in your own way and expand upon them! there are so many different topics out there and the questions I've written probably don't make sense for some of them, so take what makes sense and use the rest as inspiration!

✏️ prompts

[monday, august 12th] an intro to your topic or field of study

how would you describe this topic to someone who has never heard of it? what careers are available? what professional organizations/conferences are big? what journals do academics publish in? what are the big questions, goals, or challenges? what are the sub-fields/sub-topics/areas of specialization? what are some resources for learning about the field itself?

2. [tuesday, august 13th] books

textbooks, fiction that relates to the field, inspiring memoirs, biographies, art books, graphic novels, audiobooks… anything that you think is relevant to your topic and helpful!

3. [wednesday, august 14th] free resources

online things! resources that you might be able to get from your library! and and all ways to learn/study/practice that don't require money - feel free to get creative here and come up with some cool ideas beyond just links to websites!

4. [thursday, august 15th] notable figures

who has made important contributions to the field? is there anyone who made big contributions in the past that are now outdated or incorrect? who has done great things but been overlooked because of racism/sexism/ableism/etc.? who is making interesting contributions today? is there anyone in the field that you look up to? this is a great time to do some research if you don't already have some notable figures in mind!

5. [friday, august 16th] study tips

what are your favorite tips and ways to study this topic? are there lots of things you need to memorize or tricky concepts that are hard to understand at first? is there a skill that requires lots of practice? tell us about it and how you approach it!

6. [saturday, august 17th] tools of the trade

do you work with software? lab equipment? art supplies? your favorite pen and notebook? certain analysis frameworks or processes? tell us about them!

7. [sunday, august 18th] beginner's guide

what resources were most helpful when you were a beginner? what are the important concepts/techniques to start with? are there any prerequisite skills? also, include links to your previous masterposts!

remember to tag your posts with #studyblrmasterpostjam! if you want to participate, feel free to reblog this to spread the word. I'll see y'all on August 12th for the first masterpost!

[overandundertarot]

pick a picture; something positive in your life rn!

Hello. There is always something in our lives that we can appreciate more, something that we may not notice but it can brighten our day! This reading aims to shine some light on that and hopefully raise your spirits!

Pick a picture; (1-4)

Pile 1;

Pile 1 you have your culture! I get that your culture is very community based and lively. You just have to go outside to feel the rythym of your nation. Scenes coming to mind are music on the street, public celebrations where the whole neighbourhood comes in to rejoice. If you're not in a place to have direct acces to your culture you can definitely seek it out online! Through videos and popculture content, your mood would definitely improve! The nostalgia and love for your nation shines through. Some of you definitely come from cultures of melanated people; Africa, South America, even the diasporas in america or western countries. You have recently been ruminating on past mistakes and actions. You probably already know by now that your inner thoughts and self talk have a huge impact of your daily reality, constant self deprecation can have adverse effects on your mental health. I',m getting that you really don't need me to tell you this and it's somehting that weighs you down on top of everything else. oouuf. For some in this pile, you are simply feeling nostalgic and thinking about the what could have beens because you've made a big move/change(could be physical relocation) or are about to and are feeling a sense of trepidation. Either way, it's good to forget about your problems for a while right now. Indulge in your culture and nostalgia, reminisce about all your childhood experiences growing up in your community, the quirky habits of your family members. Think about and lean into the times that you were happy in the past!

Pile 2;

Hi pile 2, you need to lean into your fun and crazy friends. People with whom you can be accepted fully. Your individuality! Playful expression of your authentic self especially when you feel like you have to stifle it to produce a more easily digestible persona for other people. They don't understand the genius behind what you do and call it weird, but so what!? Something positive in your life right now is that you have the chance to express yourself and have fun! Don't waste it, go be silly with your friends, make childish art. Be playful and dumb. Distilling every step of your creative process to make it more palatable to other people is robbing you of your joy and doing nothing for your art! You may be working with some people at work or school or whatever aspect it may be in your life. I'm seeing that its specifically on something intended for public viewing/presentatipn and while you may have initially been excited about it you feel suffocated by the other peoples influence now. Release this frustration by allowing yourself to have your own creative release and nurturing time alone. Make sure you are giving to yourself, and producing work that YOU are satisfied with, no matter anyone else's opinion on the matter!

Pile 3;

Hello lovely pile threes. You have the fruit of your hard work to appreciate in your life right now! You're breaking out of old habits and starting to look on the bright side of things! For some of you, you've recently gotten out of a relationship that was draining you for a while and you're feeling a HEAVYYY sense of relief. For others, its an issue of self worth that you're finally feeling like you're letting go of. Baggage has been released! Life has been good for you lately, you've been going out, having fun, talking with friends long into the night, laughing more. Definitely, you've seen an improvement in your friendships. There's lighter energy. You've stopped taking things so seriously. I feel like this pile has been feeling such a sense of appreciation for seemingly mundane things that you used to gloss over. Your cup of tea in the morning, the food you eat, the trees outisde your house. Everything is beautiful for you right now and carries hope. You're playful and looking to enjoy life, no strings attached!

Pile 4;

Hello Pile 4, you seem so weary. You may have been drawn to pile 3, so check it out if you feel exceptionally drawn to do so! Pile 4, you defer from pile 3 in that you have not yet broken out into the hopeful, joyous state of release. What you have to look forward to is hope. Hope that things will get better for you. It seems at every turn, its just gotten worse. Things only work out for other people and for you its perpetual suffering right? WRONG! Thats not true. You're in a depressive state right now and you may be leaning into self pity heavily from time to time because that feels like the only way you can get release. However, you keep working towards a better future and IT'S COMING! Keep holding on! This pile reminds me of the song Please,Please,Please, Let Me Get What I Want by the Smiths. Give it a listen I feel like the people in this pile may resonate with it. There are some difficult things you need to do to get out of this limbo and experience real change. You've been putting them off for so long, but you need to go through with them. There's a concept in psychology known as impact bias.(look into it!)Its basically where we overstimate our reaction to future events. In this case its a perceived negative event in the future. Trust me when you do it you'll feel more glad than sad, you'll find that when you're living through the moment you'll feel much less worse than you expect yourself to do. And don't forget the after, there's a reason you have to go through whatever it is that you're procrastinating and it'll result in a happier you.

*****

That is all :) I loved doing this reading I feel like it lifted my spirits too! If it resonated, don't hesistate to tell me. Feel free to leave any feedback here under this post or in a reblog. If you liked the post please like it and reblog! :) Hope you have a wonderful day and see you in the next reading!

[papermonkeyism]

I think I'm finally starting to recover, after a few years of artistic dry season.

The plague was a big hit, then losing my job and finally my social life collapsing once my IRL DnD group basically disbanded pretty much destroyed what creative juiced I had always lived on up to that point, and it's been HARD to just not having any desire to be creative or do anything.

But now that I have a job again, and have had it for long enough my bank account is stable, and having been adopted into a new DnD group that's active both in-game (weekly game sessions!) and outside of it (we actually talk and communicate generally as well! It's mostly online, but it's still more than I've had in years), I have started to feel more like myself again. That, and the brain meds. I can't overstate how big it is that my default doesn't have to be brain fog anymore.

Like, I'm doing evening doodles again? I'm actually having fun thinking up creatures and characters and plots again? I stopped carrying my sketchbook and pencil case with me everywhere I went during my dry stint of nothing, but now I actually feel like I'm missing it when I don't have it on me at times, like during coffee shop visits.

And I kinda... want to MAKE a thing again.

(Just thinking out loud again, pay no mind.)

I miss having a Project.

Jumping back into making fully plotted out comic feels a bit too much at this stage, though, so I probably won't dedicate myself wholely to something of that scale.

I don't know what exactly will be the final shape of Arcanth's eventual thing, but I'm currently enjoying myself in the fiddly worldbuilding stage. (And just so you know, in the slight off chance that I might maybe pick Wurr back up again some day, I probably won't tell you about it. After all this time and all the messages I've gotten, I don't trust you guys with that one anymore. Even if I would eventually get back to posting it online, it won't happen untill I have a full year's worth of buffer and that would still be a loooooooong way from now even IF I got back to it full time, and I still have that day job besides anyway.)

But what if...

I think an art book or a zine or something might be more achievable at this point.

I feel like the dinosaur project thingy needs some more fiddling with its eventual format (I know I already have enough concept doodles to fill a zine on its own, but I crave an excuse to go ham with watercolors and make full illustrations), but it's one option I still want to make eventually.

And I kinda want to do a slight redesign for the Singing People. (I bought a skull replica a while ago that had narrower snout than how I had drawn them. And I know it doesn't matter that much, and I can always invoke artistic licence and "they aren't necessarily supposed to be any specific real life dinosaur species, it could always go with the 'undiscovered' route if I feel like it and the Troodon/Stenonychosaurus material is super fragmentary anyway", but I'm pretty sure it would bother me anyway if I didn't at least try it out and see how it looked.)

Though I think I got an idea about what to do with Entica!

Those of you who've been here a while know that one started out as my pandemic project. The world had just shut down along with my job warehouse, things were still new and uncertain, and I suddenly had so much free time and not much to sink my creative juices into, and I wanted something low pressure to do.

So I dug up an old setting from my teenage years two decades ago, gave it a facelift, threw out my teenage baggage and just ran wild. No planning, no plot, just art.

The "no planning" part did get back to bite me when the morbs eventually hit and I finally ran out of the creative juices, but that's still a lot of very good material, right there, ready to use.

But I just thought of a new framing device that would work with the already existing material AND give the character more of a goal and agency to make plotting more fun! And I think I like it.

Instead of a random scribe with no background from a place I didn't bother designing who just wants to see the world, Didor now works for a library that has sent her on a mission [to document something and/or take a message to *place*]. She still wants to see the world, but now she has a background, goal and a motive to do so!

And instead of just hanging around at Maaro's cart while Maaro does her own unrelated thing, Maaro is actively helping in her goal! While also doing her job.

I feel that having Didor be on a field work mission would give it more structure while not having to technically retcon anything already existing, and gives more solid excuse to do things than "random encounter number 82" would. Also potential reasons for further adventures ("While you're already out there, could you maybe also do X on the way?")

Also I want to insert nawani in it earlier. I didn't even have them as part of the setting untill psrt way through, and I want to show them off more.

Maybe a travel journal, perhaps?

[milykins]

TMNT Headcanon - Losing Their Virginity

*Turtles are at least 18, Bayverse turtles

*18+ Readers only, contains sexual content and language you may find offensive.

*Third person female POV

Mikey's Story

Raph's Story

Leo's Story

It's finally time for Donnie's story! I'm so relieved I actually finished a series and I didn't lose my creative flame. Thanks everyone for the likes and reblogs!

Being the last of his brothers to be a virgin was embarrassing. Donnie knows his brothers would never outright tease him about it but it stung nonetheless. Even straight-laced Leo got a girlfriend before him! This wouldn’t do, not at all and Donnie was going to do something about it. Now he doesn’t do anything right away but he does make this elaborate plan to meet someone. It doesn’t work, unfortunately. The poor girl runs away screaming at the sight of him.

In the aftermath of his failure he does what he does best. He retreats into himself and stays in his lab for weeks on end. Even Raph is a little worried about their brother in purple but they all leave him to work things out on his own. He always does.

Fortunately he’s got distractions to keep him from falling completely into the abyss and is very well-known in the online gaming community. He’s got friends on there too, including someone he’s gotten pretty close to. She uses an androgynous name and a voice changer so the guys on there don’t know she’s female. The combat sessions were just easier that way. Even Donnie wasn't aware of her secret until one day when she forgets to use the voice changer and everyone in the party realizes she's been a girl all along. Almost immediately the derogatory comments start up. Don, however, is quick to shut them down and snaps at the other guys for objectifying her like that. He sounded so sweet in his defense of her and as a result, she stops using the voice changer from that moment on. She does apologize to him for hiding her gender in a private voice chat with just the two of them and he completely understands. He promises her that he won't let anyone bother her if he can help it.

Donnie is pleased to have made a new female friend. They get to chatting more and more and even do a few voice calls. He is ever so careful not to let slip that he’s a 6’8” mutant turtle. Still, his walls come down somewhat the closer they get. They even exchange numbers and do a few voice calls. She texts him daily with little memes and fun facts. Donnie reciprocates by texting her his random thought of the day. He also texts her riddles and is highly aware that she wants to figure them out for herself, no hints.

One day he gets a text that kicks up his fight or flight instinct. A simple ‘Can we meet?’ At this point, they had been friends for a good few months and Donnie never dreamed it would go beyond that. His logical brain thought it would be better to keep her at arms length. That way, nobody would get hurt. Still, his fingers itched to type back ‘yes, when and where?’ he really wanted to meet her but the fear of what she’d think of him when she discovered what he truly was kept him from typing that out. Instead he types: ‘it’s probably not a good idea… we should keep things as they are.’ He still couldn’t bring himself to press ‘send’.

Several minutes later he was still trying to find an answer. She seemed to sense her question was ill-timed and apologizes, saying she realizes they aren’t ready for that yet. Immediately his fingers fly to the keyboard typing rapidly. He does want to meet her, he just hesitated because he was nervous and there’s something she needs to know first. He sits there then, his heart pounding as anxiety takes over. This was it, she was going to find out he was a monster, a freak and he was going to lose her. Finally he makes his decision. He calls her, trying to keep his voice from shaking and stutters out where to meet him.

Donnie shows up with a purple hoodie on covering his head and leaves most of his tech in his lab. He keeps his phone on him and a hidden bo staff just in case. He stays hidden in the shadows until he sees her. His breath catches in his throat, she was beautiful. Red hair… he had such a weakness for redheads. There’s a light dusting of freckles on her nose, and her expression showed she was nervous and unsure. She’s looking around everywhere for him, afraid he wasn’t going to show up.

Donnie steels himself; it was now or never. Very gingerly, he emerges, keeping his head down. He tells her it’s him, his voice shaking slightly. She’s immediately struck by how tall he is, she loved tall men, it was her weakness. She was confused by his body posture and why it looked like he was wearing a backpack. Donnie quietly asks her not to scream because he’s not exactly human and doesn’t want to scare her. He takes his hood off and braces himself for the inevitable. But it doesn’t come. She gasps at his appearance with obvious wonder and not disgust as he thought she would. He watches her carefully as she steps closer to get a better look. She tells him now she knows how Belle felt meeting the Beast the first time except she's not afraid of him. At that, Donnie has to smile because he knows Beauty and the Beast is her favourite Disney movie and that she held the steadfast belief that the Beast never should have changed into a human. He relaxes more then and asks her if she’d like to hang out for a while. She agrees and is full of questions for the duration of the night. Donnie is happy to answer each and every one of them if it means he gets to spend more time with her. She gives him a kiss on the cheek when they finally part ways and he’s so elated he feels like he could sing.

Donnie has a girlfriend. He has an actual girlfriend. At first his brothers tease him saying at least he didn’t have to build one. Truthfully though, they’re very happy for him and relieved because they can see an obvious change in him. He’s happier and he’s not staying holed up in his lab like he used to. It’s not long before he invites her down to the lair to meet his family and show her around. He’s so proud to show off all the things he’s been working on and even more proud to show her his bigger projects like the TTT or Turtle Tactical Truck. She is definitely awed by his accomplishments and thinks it’s very sweet that this awkward, nerdy, sweetheart of a turtle was trying so hard to impress her. If it wasn't obvious, Donnie has already fallen head over heels for this girl but he hasn’t told her yet nor have they made love. He wants it to be perfect.

In his effort to do this, it takes him a long time to plan it. Luckily, his new girlfriend is very patient and they do get closer in other ways. He gives her the full rundown on his ‘equipment’, telling her exactly how it differs from a human male’s, but assuring her it still functions as such. She can’t help but giggle at how serious he’s being about it all and assures him that she still wants to try either way. Donnie hurriedly tells her that there’s no rush and that they can take their time with such things. He’s secretly afraid it might be too painful for her and wants to be fully prepared so they are able to make it work between them.

Donnie is the only one of his brothers to do actual research on how to properly please a woman. After all, research is what he does best and he’s nervous but excited to put it into practice. Needless to say, she’s very pleased with the results and though they don’t have actual sex in the coming weeks, they get awfully close.

It happens on the very special date he has planned for her. Now, Donnie, being well, himself, has its definite advantages. One of which being his ability to break in and hack his way into pretty much anywhere. On the day of the date, he tells her to dress up and meet him at the planetarium. Upon meeting her there, he whisks her away to a secret entrance where they can view the planetarium from above and enjoy a private meal. Mikey had been more than willing to pack some food and snacks for them. 'Tonight my Donnie boy, you become a man.' ... 'Thanks, Mikey..."

After the meal is finished, he takes her into the theatre with the large domed projection screen. He tells her to close her eyes and count to three. When she opens them, he’ll have turned on the projector and she sees millions of stars, planets, and galaxies above them. It’s the most romantic thing she’s ever experienced. Her eyes are a bit misty when he shyly asks if she likes it.

Her response is standing on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him like her life depends on it. Donnie reacts immediately, his long, lean arms catching her and holding her close as he angles his mouth to kiss her more deeply. Minutes later, they’re breathing deeply and staring into each other’s eyes. That’s when he knows it’s time, he loves her and he’s going to tell her. He whispers it, afraid that if he says it any louder she might not feel the same way. She whispers it back, honestly, that she loves him and tells him just how special and unique he is, and how she’s feels so lucky to have met him. He can’t help but reiterate that he’s the lucky one before covering her mouth with his. Several passionate moments later he pulls back with a question in his eyes. She absolutely picks up on it, and breathlessly asks him to come back to her apartment with her. Donnie has never moved so fast in his life. He shuts everything down, grabs their things and exits the building with her in less than five minutes.

Upon arrival to the apartment things escalate quickly. Gear and belongings are dropped haphazardly and there’s a desperation to undress her as quickly as possible before he practically carries her to her bedroom. Pretty soon he’s also bare and has her laid out beneath him trembling with need. His touch is skillful and precise. He is methodical about this, he wants to do as much foreplay and prep-work to make this as painless and pleasurable as he possibly can. He works at gently stretching her opening while making her feel good at the same time. When the time comes for her to take him inside he goes inch by inch, always stopping and checking if she’s still all right. He’s the only one of his brothers to use a condom, ‘just in case’ and ‘safety first’. It had taken some looking though to find ones large enough to accommodate him.

 She only feels a slight amount of pain, grateful to him for taking the time to ready her and falls in love with him just a little more from his thoughtfulness and care. Once she’s ready, he does a few practiced thrusts and oh boy, nothing could have prepared him for how good this would feel. He can’t help but stutter it out to her, how amazing she is and how much he loves her. She whispers it back and tells him likewise how good it feels to have him inside of her.

He’s spurred on by her words of encouragement he moves faster and has to concentrate on not being the first to finish. With a careful hand he snakes his fingers between their bodies and rubs her sensitive nub in well-practiced circles with his thumb, he whispers how beautiful she is and how much he wants to hear her come. He gently urges her, ‘come for me, come for me, beautiful… let me hear you.’

Almost immediately, her body locks up and the grip on his shoulders tightens while she digs her fingernails into his tough skin. Her cries are absolute music to his ears and he decides he needs to hear her make these types of sounds as often as he can. He grunts softly as his own release comes moments after hers, he groans deeply while his body shudders from the blinding amount of pleasure he feels.

The aftermath is composed of soft kisses, whispered murmurings of love and a gentle cleanup, her before himself of course. Donnie’s conclusion is that this has to be the happiest moment of his life… so far. The best is yet to come.

Mikey does congratulate him when he returns home.

The End

[simplydnp]

hey there!

I kind of consider you the resident dnp expert (at least in dnp culture) so I wanted your opinion on a question that's been building for a while now.

What are the boundaries for dnp now?

There are so many things that I feel have changed even in the last four years: writing smutty rpf was Gross and Weird, along with art along that line, speculating about their relationship was ABSOLUTELY a no-go, all things that I see happening on Tumblr now. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing!! I'm just acknowledging things have changed over time. They're different people now and so are we, and the "we know you know" era is lots of fun.

I was browsing reddit today (bad idea, do not recommend) and came across a post from a new Phannie asking if DnP were in a relationship. And while I agree that we cannot say for absolute certain that they are, the responses had a VERY different vibe than on here, emphasizing how bad the speculation was (true) and essentially saying "don't even think about that, just enjoy their content." (or something to that extent.)

Which... is very different from this here website in which we joke about them being horney for each other constantly lmao.

Being a very rules-driven person, I like expectations to be made abundantly clear for pretty much everything. So that's why I want to ask: Is there a line here? Are we crossing that line? How defined is that line? (All of this, of course, I recognize is your opinion and yours alone, and if this is posted I encourage anyone else to share their two-cents in a respectful way.)

Obviously, trying to find out where they live/things like that is very clearly crossing a boundary. But is there some sort of limit or boundary I (and tbh the rest of the phandom), in your opinion, should be keeping in mind?

thanks xx

hi!

'resident expert' is a hefty title, i'm just here trying my best!

'what are the boundaries for dnp now?' is really a great question. cause the thing is, we used to know. there used to be a fairly well-defined and mostly agreed upon line, and ever since the dapg revival in particular, the line keeps moving.

i'll be honest, i never really saw phanfic as rpf, even though it is. my stance on phanfic is the same as dnps: it's a beautiful expression of art and creativity and is so, so important. they've always been pro-fic (even though we subjected them to some absolutely horrific crack fics), so i don't think 'smutty' fic has ever been gross or too far. they've given their blessing, and, as the conversation has been in fandom communities the last few years, rpf isn't 'for' the people in them, it's for the fans. so i digress.

art is much the same way. they love art! they even included art of them kissing in a tumblr tag video back in the day, so to say that's not allowed especially after they're out is kind of crazy to me.

i think the line with stuff like that was showing it directly to dnp--tagging them in explicit stuff, that kind of thing. but creating it? go for it! it's always been a green light. (i think fans have previously overpoliced this and we lost a lot of great fic, art, and community members over it)

browsing reddit is always a Choice. i've never participated on dnp reddit before but i am aware that it is an entirely different space than here. something that's important, i think (and i think you think this too as you're asking about them), is to respect the fandom rules of the place you partcipate in. tumblr is generally one of the most phan-positive places on the internet, especially publicly facing. we make a lot of relationship jokes, particularly because we run on the assumption it's already true, based on what they've both said publicly (mostly dan).

i won't comment on reddit specifically just because i'm not a part of the community there, but the speculation about dnp online was a Lot for a long time. but the worst part of it was the stalking, the digging into personal lives, the contacting family members--that is what was bad. dnp have always had a connection--and, honestly, they kind of love flexing it and kind of always have. they absolutely play into things now, but they certainly did even way before coming out too. i think a certain level of speculation was to be expected, especially in that era of online fandom. but it wasn't just the 'teenage girls' who cared, the media did too, and so did many others.

i think one of the biggest differences now is 1 the awareness of 'our' past and trying to make up for it, and 2 the broader societal conversations about parasocial relationships.

you see this reflected on the snippets ive seen from dnp reddit and dnp twitter. they tend to be Very 'cautious' about the words they say, often undercutting perfectly reasonable statements with 'but whatever their relationship is'. on one hand, they don't want to cross a line, and i can respect that. on the other hand... it's 2024 babes. they just put out merch of them holding hands. dan's directly, intentionally, and explicitly called phil a bottom on dapg. they reacted to all of the pinofs, made jokes about 'theyre touching', and even joked about the tackle being 'wrestling 👀'. dan posted half-naked catboy pics and showed us phil was taking them. the 'watch your step babygirl' tweet & their reactions to it. phil is credited in WAD. they're making threesome jokes about themselves as a unit. i could go on and on.

to me, there's a few things that have 'moved the line' for us, so to speak.

1 - DAPG returning. for the last few years they specifically were not a duo (for projects) anymore. (and no, not because they hated each other). they just weren't. they wanted to focus on their goals and projects. they didn't have to resurrect dapg, but they chose to. marketing and money aside, they knew that if this went over well, it would well and truly revive the 'dan and phil' brand again. it would be specifically returning to being a duo in the public eye. (however they've also fully embraced this in all aspects, including merch, videos, and general attitude)

2 - pinof reacts. even though they'd been out since 2019, we hadn't had regular joint content from them since before that, therefore, while they had become more comfortable with themselves and their 'outness', we hadn't (in terms of them making explicit gay jokes together). so i really think dnp had to de-fang a lot of the 'theyre touching' of it all, because we didn't really know where we stood on it anymore. i think they succeeded, too. we couldn't be here, with the content of the last 3 months, without them tackling it head on (well, as head on as they're want to do).

3 - dapc. genuinely another big shift. they did this for the real fans. purely a passion project, and a specific choice in doing the handhold. they know what we're like. and this wasn't a brief, unplanned, unscripted moment. it's a specifically blocked out scene. they know it's opening a door, and they chose to. this is doubled by the fucking iconic merch selling, and furthered by phil's twitter likes of arguably romantic phanart, and then dan's full straddle like.

even throughout the current 6 months of revival, the line has moved. i don't know where it will settle. dnp keep moving it, in my opinion, and, genuinely, i don't think it's going to leave much to the imagination. as you say, obviously not the stalking or the contacting, but beyond that? especially here on tumblr? i wouldn't get too worried. obviously people will have their opinions, but as long as you're generally respectful and recognize that humans will see your posts and humans interact with them, i think you're good.

my rule of thumb is anything they intentionally put on the table, we can joke about or at the same level. but in terms of art/fic? go off, live your dreams. dan and phil would want you to.

[frozenjokes]

Unbeknownst To Grian, Doc Hasn’t Had A Real Conversation With A Person In 15 Years, And It’s About To Be Grian’s Problem

Grian did not like to be predictable. He didn’t like to follow expectations, he didn’t like to give people what they wanted. This could manifest in small, annoying ways; if something he was curious about got popular, he was more likely to lose interest, think negatively of it for no reason. Grian valued uniqueness in his craft. If he was going to fuck with someone, he would do so in the most creative possible way, and just so much as seeing a similar idea online to one of his own was enough to void all his motivation.

If Grian was going to make his mark, he would not do so giving the people what they wanted. He’d change the game. He’d sprint as fast as his legs would take him against the grain.

They wanted him and Scar.

The clips from yesterday had gone completely viral, Scar’s suggestion to velcro himself to Grian’s back so they could fight together to retrieve his legs from the villainous Goat spawning waves of excited chatter, cheering, and trending hashtags to varying degrees of ridiculousness. Now, even if Grian had wanted to team up with Scar like this in the first place, the amount of insistent attention would be enough to change his mind in a snap of an instant. Please. He was not some showpony that lived to serve the community. If he was going to put on a show, it would be on his own terms, superheroes be damned.

So that’s how Grian found himself at The Goat’s doorstep, a massive, impending thing. Most supervillains took utmost care in hiding their identities and home addresses; they had to, otherwise the police force would have no reason to pretend they couldn’t arrest them. The Goat, however, was an exception. This place could hardly be called a house; it was more like a fortress that loomed over the entire city, spires like lightning rods collecting energy from storms in a light show that you could see for miles. While The Goat had been arrested several hundred times by now (he’d been around for as long as Grian could remember, very possibly before he was born), he never quite stayed in jail, always finding a way to escape in one way or another. At this point, it was common knowledge that The Goat was only ever taken into custody because he wanted to be; successfully imprisoned for only however long he allowed. While quite famous, The Goat also happened to be a bit of a hermit, only surfacing from his lair once or twice a month, so really, it was pretty unlucky for Scar to come across him the one day he had chosen to lay pathetically on the concrete, legs ripe for the stealing.

Regardless, this mysterious reclusiveness made the villain quite popular among many, his nonchalance combined with the insanity of some of his works of engineering drawing a great deal of attention. That, and people were just outright thirsting over him. Unabashedly horny. Grian had never seen The Goat in person before, but he’d seen enough pictures to understand- not that he agreed or anything, just that it made sense. The Goat was a big guy, like, big; Grian didn’t know the logistics of his exact species, but he was a sort of centaur-like creature, built like a clydesdale but even taller, half of his chest, left arm, and face entirely cybernetic, armaments that were constructed by the man himself.

It was at this point that Grian realized he was stalling. In fairness, he wasn’t exactly sure what to do with himself. The knocker was purposefully high above the typical human height, something he could reach regardless with a flap of his wings, but it was relatively obvious The Goat did not like visitors. Grian wondered how many civilians had turned up at this very doorstep, only to be ignored for hours until they left. Would The Goat even care about CuteGuy? Maybe he had seen all the hubbub online and would keep him locked out on purpose. Grian hadn’t really considered that before coming. Honestly, with all the cameras around, it was very likely The Goat already knew he was here.

Well. No time like the present!

Grian beat his wings in a small jump, but the door swung open before he could reach the knocker, causing him to fall and stumble a little pathetically at cloven feet. He looked up. Holy shit.

“Speak of your intention,” The Goat spoke gruffly, tucking his hands away in the pockets of his long lab coat. Grian had to crane his neck just to see his face, a dark, cold expression looking natural on The Goat’s imposing figure. His eyes were pupil-less, narrowed and difficult to read, but Grian didn’t detect any hostility. Maybe he was delusional, but it almost looked like The Goat was more curious than anything, interest evident in the way his mechanical eye moved in quick saccades, taking all of him in. Grian took a deep breath, puffing out his chest.

“Just wanted to hang out, that’s all. This is a pretty secluded place, you know, thought I might be able to get away from all the mess,” Grian forcibly relaxed his shoulders, waving his hand in a vague gesture.

“Hang out?” The Goat said the words like they tasted bitter, but then again, he said most things as if they left an unpleasant taste in his mouth, “You sure you’re not looking for anything?”

“If you’re referring to HotGuy’s legs, then no, I’m not looking for them. I don’t care about him or his legs, actually! I’m more concerned with my reputation, that being, how good it’s been lately. I think this city needs a reminder that I don’t work for anyone.”

The Goat chuckled, the sound far more soft and pleasant than Grian would have thought he could produce. “Is that so?” he mused, and Grian hoped that was interest behind his tone, “You don’t serve our government? Contractually? Won’t they be displeased to see another of their pets mingling with the enemy?”

Grian scoffed, “I don’t serve anyone. As far as I’m concerned, they’re being scammed out of a paycheck. And no, honestly, I don’t think they care what I do so long as it drums up media attention and puts more coin in their pockets. So long as it’s advertiser friendly.”

“I hear you are famously not, friend.”

“Well that’s not my problem.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.”

“The court of public opinion indicates otherwise. People are crazy about me, nearly as much as HotGuy. It would be stupid to let me go, not before they milk my novelty for everything it’s worth. By then I’ll be rich enough to retire or something, I don’t know. That’s a problem for future Grian.”

“Grian?” Grian’s heart dropped as The Goat smirked, lips raising just enough to reveal pointed teeth. But just as Grian started to stutter to a defense, the villain laughed, drowning him out, “Do not fret, I could not care about any person’s identity, superhero or no. Nor do I particularly care to shield mine. Please Grian, call me Doc. Follow me.” Doc turned without another word, leaving Grian to gape as his massive hooves kicked up clouds of dust. Doc did not look to see if he was following nor slow his pace, so Grian had to run to catch up. Nine foot tall monsters walked very fast it turns out! And if Doc noticed Grian struggling to keep up, he certainly didn’t show it.

It occurred a little late to Grian that he should probably be keeping track of where he was going and how he’d escape if necessary, but Doc’s fortress had so many twists and turns, by the time he had the sense to think of this, he was already hopelessly lost. Well. Hopefully Doc wasn’t planning on dissecting him and displaying his wings on a pedestal or something. (Many of The Goat’s fans seemed to insist this was a big thing for Doc, though, Grian could not find any actual evidence of any dissections occurring. On second thought, those people were probably just horny.) Oh well.

Eventually, the two of them reached an elevator with, quite frankly, an alarming amount of floors- “What do you need this much space for?'' The thought was spoken aloud before Grian could stop himself, far more judgemental than would be advised for the company he was keeping today, but luckily, Doc didn’t seem to care.

“The lower floors are where The Hivemind works. Building, innovating, grindingoptimizingautomatingthriving, you know. A lot of the space is storage from past projects, and upkeep generally takes a lot of my time. My machinery can get to be quite large. You will not see most of it. We aren’t going down far.” Doc selected B1, making Grian question why they were even taking the elevator if they were only going down one floor, but after a particularly long ride, he got some idea.

Basement Floor 1 was massive and sprawling and dark. Grian had better eyesight than most, even at night, but the only parts of the ceiling he could see were spots of reflective metal and small pools of light that bounced off stalactites.

“Do- do those ever fall?” Grian asked, eyes wide at the ceiling, and Doc stopped, turning in a slow swivel so Grian could see his entire upper half.

“Yes.” He flexed the fingers on his mechanical arm, glowing red eye boring into Grian, “It is a good thing The Hivemind is smart. And quick. Though, after the second incident, we hope to have fixed the problem. On the other floors. My workstation remains as it is.”

“You- You can’t just knock them all down?”

“I can. But I believe that if God wishes for me to be struck down, then she should have the means to do so herself. She’s gotten a couple good shots in,” Doc narrowed his physical eye, and Grian was pretty sure there was humor there, “but she knows I am above her power. So instead we will continue to feud, and I will continue to break her precious world. And if one day I die, then I would have it to be no other way than by her hand.”

“If-?”

Doc only laughed, continuing to walk down the corridor. Grian was forced to follow lest he be left behind.

It occurred too late to Grian that he probably shouldn’t be surprised Doc was leading him to see Scar’s legs. Regardless, Doc was amused, chuckling when Grian took a sharp breath.

“I wanted him to come and get them. With or without you. Worked all night on the programming with The Hivemind, though, turns out that wasn’t necessary. You two are slow. HotGuy isn’t even here.”

Grian cast a nervous look at Scar’s legs, laid flat on a desk next to a large monitor. The workspace had the feel of an organized mess, all the clutter making it difficult to tell what exactly Doc had done. Well, if he was programming something, Grian wouldn’t be able to see it anyway. Were- were the legs even programmable? How would that work?

“What did you do to them?” Grian finally said, feeling incredibly daft at the note of worry he failed to suppress.

Doc snorted. “Nothing. I did make a mechanical waist though,” he hummed, shaking his head, “Well, that’s not true, I’ve had the actual machine bit made for a while now, I just did most of the other stuff last night. It’s been some time since I’ve gotten a look at these, and the technology has advanced significantly since then. At least my tech has; imagine my surprise when I see his useless government agency has hardly updated his prosthetics at all! If it’s not broke don’t fix it I suppose, but these are certainly broke. I’ll make sure to get started on a prototype for an update soon, yeesh. Regardless, after digging through my old blueprints, it wasn’t hard to hook everything up to a little remote control. Oh, his face will be priceless. His own legs greeting him at the door and kicking his ass?” Doc laughed, missing Grian’s open mouth gaping, “Unfortunately balance is still an issue, I obviously didn’t have time to work out all the kinks, but I’m just here to mess with him, it’ll be serviceable for-“

“Wait- Wait-“ Doc did not look happy about being interrupted, fixing Grian with a glare that stopped him directly in his tracks.

“Go on.”

“You made his prosthetics? His legs?”

“Obviously. Who else would have made them? Have you seen the typical modern-day prosthetic? They’re nothing like mine, borderline barbaric. Of course, mine are quite expensive, and people don’t just go and commission a guy like me over the table. HotGuy’s parents must love their son very much, though, they threw a whole tissy when I told them I’d need to visit him in the hospital. Idiots. As if I would trust anyone other than myself to collect the measurements I needed. They made me arrive under a sheet-“ Doc cut himself off with a groan, “The things I put up with sometimes. HotGuy’s lucky it was an interesting project. Human legs are very different from my own, so I wouldn’t be messing with them without an excuse. Of course, he grew up to be a fucking pain in the ass, didn’t he. Could have done a better job just raising the kid myself.” Grian had so many questions, but Doc hardly even stopped to breathe when he spoke, and Grian wasn’t about to interrupt a second time.

“Fuck, if they haven’t updated the legs, they probably haven’t touched his back either. Did you know that? His lower back was completely shattered- now that was an interesting project. Idiots, seriously, commissioning me to make their son legs when he’d never be able to use them. I ended up doing a lot of work on that boy, and not one thank you. Not from him all these years later or his useless family. He’d still be in that hospital bed without me, I know it. I bet if they’d let me have my way with him he would have been walking in under a year. But no, no, I was only on the project for two years, and I believe it lasted five? Six? Those idiots made me sign an NDA and everything!” Doc barked a hard laugh, “What are they going to do? Take me to court? Arrest me? Stupid. Amusing in hindsight, but they were insufferable.”

“I- okay. I mean, it’s not like this is common knowledge or anything. I feel like I would have seen this somewhere by now if the public knew you made all his prosthetics.”

“Oh no, the information isn’t public. I’d rather peel off my skin than be associated with that lot, and I’m sure HotGuy’s managers feel similarly about me. There’s a reason his prosthetics are so outdated- look, feel this. The movement at the joints is awful!” Doc took Grian’s hand, uncaring for his own strength as he yanked Grian forward to touch (something that felt deeply invasive toward Scar, though, it wasn’t like Grian had a choice) as Doc bent the knee. Grian had no idea what he was supposed to be feeling here, but Doc must have mistaken his discomfort for agreement because he let go right after.

Grian cleared his throat, rubbing his wrist, “And you think HotGuy knows?”

“Knows what?”

“That you made his prosthetics. I’m just curious, I mean.. He’s never mentioned it- not that we’re close or anything. It just feels like something that might have come up before to uh- well I don’t know if dating is the right word, but he and my roommate have something going on-“

Doc rolled his eyes with a huff, “Of course HotGuy knows! He’s just conceited like the rest of his family- his workforce for that matter. God forbid the public know how blurry the lines between ‘hero’ and ‘villain’ actually are. The only actual reason I’ve got the government breathing down my neck is due to the IRS- no, I will not be paying ridiculous sums to DC just for the money to be wasted on international affairs the States have no business sticking their nose into anyway. I only immigrated for the, quite frankly, insane lack of weapons regulation. You can do whatever the fuck you want in America. Regardless, I’d do better to put that money into the community myself.”

“Do you?”

“Not locally, I have a reputation to uphold and I like this shithole the way it is. Occasionally if I see something that really pisses me off I’ll pour some money into it.” Doc scowled, like the thought of doing any good at all was deeply unappealing, “For the most part though, I only keep tabs on the world as it pertains to me. I care very little for pettiness.”

Grian snorted. “Is using HotGuy’s own prosthetics to kick his ass because he never said ‘thank you,’ not petty?”

“For personal matters, I indulge. Most of the time however, I am far too busy for nonsense such as this. Speaking of, I have work to do, so I am going to hold you for ransom to speed this up. Do you have a problem with that?”

“If I comply, do I get a share of the cash?”

“You can take whatever you want. I just want HotGuy here.”

Grian’s wings fluttered, his mind already moving miles a minute, “Do you need a picture? Oh please, let’s take pictures. Something fun, ambiguous- I really want to mess with him.”

“Can I not just take a picture of you right here. Maybe try to look at least mildly unhappy, I’d like if HotGuy had a reason to be prompt.”

“Oh he’ll be prompt- do you have a tripod or something? We don’t need one obviously, I just feel like you’d be the type of guy to have something like that on hand. Do you? How do you feel about the lightest of the light kind of suggestive pictures? I think it would be funny. Ambiguously suggestive. Honestly, I just kinda feel like you’d be a fun person to pose with, y’know? I have a vision. Just saying, if you really want to fuck with HotGuy, this would go crazy. Your fans would go NUTS. Do you know about your fans? I saw some things while doing research.”

Doc snorted, ears flicking in what Grian was pretty sure was amusement, “You remind me of a man I knew long ago,” he sighed, sounding dangerously wistful. His eyes shone as he raised a shaking fist to the ceiling.

“You don’t have to divulge-“ Grian started in great alarm, but there was no stopping the rapidly approaching trauma exposition hurdling his way.

“Ren was a brilliant man. Awkward, but damn clever, an incredibly talented engineer with ideas to rival my own. Struck down too soon, too soon. Sometimes I wonder if that stalactite was meant for me, or if it was meant as a punishment greater than death. She knew I would try to bring him back, friend. She knew he would come back wrong.”

“This seems really personal-“

“A hippie.” Doc growled, and Grian got the sense this train was not slowing down any time soon. Might as well settle in.

[asaraviapt]

[EN] Video Game Writing Resources!

Hello! My name is Andrea--I have been writing for games since 2018, and even worked as a writer at Firaxis Games from 2022 until April of 2023. So, I knew a few things about narrative design--but what the fuck is it? Recently, I gave a talk about the fundamentals and history of the field of narrative design. In Spanish. So, let's talk about it in English--the "what," "why," "how," "when," and "who," of narrative design! What is narrative design? Narrative design is not just writing--it's a huge part of it, but designing a narrative system involves implementing narrative content into the build of the game. So there is a technical learning curve to it. Personally, I watched and obtained certifications in Unreal Engine 5 and Unity in order to be aware of the limitations of each engine. I used the free trial of LinkedIn Learning, but courses about this engine are available in these websites: - https://platzi.com/ - https://www.arkde.com/ - https://www.domestika.org/?query=unity - https://www.coursera.org/ Why do we need narrative design? In order to create an interactive story that the player feels a part of, narrative designers are mandatory. It's not a responsibility that can be placed on other designers (then we would be entering crunch territory) rather someone who specifically specializes in both creative writing and game design is needed to explain within the context of the game's story why the mechanics work in a certain way. Imagine if a Telltale game did not have dialogue, for example--what would we be left with? Or if The Last Of Us did not convey a narrative through its environments.

Narrative designers are needed so that all of the departments are in sync and understand the story that they are trying to tell. For example, if a game takes place in a haunted house that was abandoned, we need all hands on deck. The narrative designer can explain to the environment artists why there are so many holes in the living room--perhaps the last tenants of the house were a rowdy bunch. Or, they can tell the sound designers which planks of wood are the most rotten and need a loud sound effect to highlight how it has been abandoned. How do I become a narrative designer? There is no one way to become a narrative designer. Some people start in QA and transition into the field, I have also witnessed engineers and doctors wanting to get into narrative design. I do recommend having the following (at least): - A passion for storytelling. - Deep understanding of the mechanics of the game and the player experience. - Communication skills are incredibly important--can you describe your story in a concise way to your peers in a Confluence page?

Documentation skills are also a massive plus.

Very basic understanding of game engines and limitations. You don't have to be a computer science major, but know what your requests will entail. If you have an idea of a cutscene, can the engine handle it? Will the animators have enough time? Is it within scope?

If you can, attend game jams! They are an amazing way to network with amazing people and get a feel of what the game production pipeline is like.

Additionally, I highly recommend the following resources: First, the free resources! ~It's free real estate~

Look up Twinery tutorials. (https://twinery.org/) Not only is it free, but you can use it on your browser. More importantly, you will learn about branching narratives and can create your own games within a few minutes--the interface, though it requires a bit of coding, is incredibly easy to use and there are a lot of tutorials available online.

Download Ren'Py (https://www.renpy.org/) and watch tutorials. It's free, and there is a huge community of visual novel developers who may need help with narrative designers, writers, editors and even translators. An amazing resource that a colleague shared was this Discord with visual novel developers--if you have an idea, feel free to connect with artists and voice actors here! https://discord.gg/nW5yn4FE

Network, network, network! Follow narrative design and game writer groups on Discord, Facebook and even LinkedIn. -- An amazing convention that is online, free and accessible regarding narrative design is LudoNarraCon.

If you go to itch.io you will see a list of game jams that you can attend to for free! Some game jams that I have attended and had a positive experience are the following: - Woman Game Jam. I encourage folks from marginalized genders to attend this game jam, as we have a large pool of mentors willing to help in every single discipline at any time due to the global nature of it. It is a safe and inclusive space for women and nonbinary folx who want to get into the gaming industry! - Global Game Jam. Self explanatory, it has some in-person opportunities but you can also attend remotely. - Greenlight Jam. Do you have an idea that can not be done in only 48 hours? The Greenlight Jam is amazing, as it lasts four weeks--which allows narrative designers to develop complex narrative systems and even record voice lines for a more complex project. Side Note: Even though most game jams have a time limit, I do encourage narrative designers to develop and polish the prototypes and levels created during game jams to have portfolios and writing samples that stand out!

Work With Indies is a job site that publishes job opportunities--including ones in writing and narrative design. Additionally, their Discord has some networking events with writers so you can connect with them.

Other websites that not only publish jobs but include networking events are Hitmarker.net (this is their Discord), IndieGameAcademy (link to Discord),

Newsletters! A lot of experienced game writers have newsletters dedicated to the craft, to name a few that I highly recommend: -- Greg Buchanan's newsletter. Rounds up game writing news every Tuesday, and includes job opportunities. -- Bright Whitney's newsletter. A studio founder with amazing insights regarding game design and thoughtful narrative, Whitney's threads are extremely insightful. -- Susan O'Connor's blog on The Narrative Department. In addition to providing free knowledge regarding world building, narrative design, game writing and other specifics of the craft Susan interviews industry professionals and alumni who offer testimonials that have amazing advice. -- GDC talks about narrative design. Though I recommend the GDC vault as well in the next section, I highly recommend the GDC talks regarding not only narrative design but the development of your favorite titles!

Now, for resources that may not be free--but I highly recommend, as someone who used them first hand. - The Narrative Department. This post is not sponsored by them at all, however it is rare to find an instructor as kind and hard-working as Susan O'Connor who has been a narrative designer in historic AAA, AA and independent titles. Known for her contributions in Tomb Raider, Batman: The Enemy Within, and BioShock to name a few (imdb is: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1897248/) her Game Writing Masterclass offers a certification in everything related to game writing. A few subjects she touches on are: -- Characters and how to make them compelling. -- Barks and ambience writing. -- Dialogue, backstories and scripts. -- How to work with other departments. And more! Additionally, you would obtain access to a huge alumni network full of game writing professionals working in independent, AA and AAA studios! Not to mention that all of the assignments completed in the class will look amazing in a portfolio as game writing samples. - GDC Vault. Though I have an opinion on the price tag of GDC tickets and the vault, I would definitely include it as it has resources from several studios, writers, narrative designers and more! When was narrative design formed? When can I become a narrative designer?

That's a wonderful question. Narrative design, as a term, was first used around the 90s but became more established between the 2000s and 2010s. So, although the field is relatively new, and there are not a lot educational resources available, consider yourself part of an innovative field that is exponentially growing! Recently, a game developer asked when was the best time to keep an eye out for job openings. And a harsh truth about the gaming industry is that it is extremely volatile--layoffs, downsizings and startups rise and fall. This is not meant to deter anyone from pursuing a career in narrative design, but rather I am including it for the sake of transparency. We cannot predict when a studio is going to layoff their employees, or when they cancel unannounced projects. Unlike most industries where we know for a fact that recruiters keep a sharp eye for candidates in Q1 and Q3, a piece of advice I received from a mentor of mine was to try to predict when projects are going to need more stories. There's the release of a game, and then there is the addition of additional narrative content--and for this, they will more than likely need associate/entry/junior level narrative designers, writers and quest designers. But--this is related to searching for a job as a narrative designer, and I can write a novel about that (and will edit this article to redirect folx into it.) So, keep an eye out for huge game announcements. Then, cater your resume to what the studio is looking for in a narrative designer. Now, to finish off this article: Who is a narrative designer? If you have a passion for storytelling and games, and have participated in game jams, congratulations you are a wonderful narrative designer! Make sure you always include that you are a narrative designer, and not an aspiring narrative designer--it makes you stand out amongst applicants. That's all I have for now--feel free to interact, comment and share! Let me know if I missed something and I will be sure to add it.

[atiny-for-life]

Creative Spotlight #1: Kim Hongjoong

Masterlist

Intro: With so many new Atinys coming in, I figured now would be a good time to shed some light on all the boys' creative solo projects over the years, big and small.

Photography

Hongjoong's love for photography goes way back to his predebut days. In one of the first videos ever uploaded to their channel, you can already see him holding a camera on the set of Pirate King.

2 years ago, in 2022, he got to announce his first photo exhibition, FROM NOVEMBER 7, 1998, as a birthday present to himself, which took place from November 1st to 7th at gallery99 and was used to collect money for charity.

There was no entrance fee but spots had to be reserved online to ensure there'd be no dangerous crowding. During the exhibition, there was a little event planned for all attendees in which fans could collect points which were then converted to money that was later donated under Hongjoong and Atiny's name. The total donated amount was 10 million won!

In Logbook Episode 101, we got to see Hongjoong visit the exhibition himself and take a stroll through memory lane.

Due to the success of the 2022 exhibition, Hongjoong held another one last year which took place between November 3rd and 9th, 2023, and was titled A Walker - the event was accompanied by the release of an original song and led to the donation of 50 million won under Hongjoong's and Atiny's name to the Korea Childhood Leukemia Foundation.

BY. HONGJOONG

Back in 2018, Hongjoong shared during their stay in LA as KQ Fellaz, that he barely went to school since he already started producing music during his high school days. And yes, this is during the same tear jerking monologue where he calls Ateez his family for the first time and says he needs to hurry so he can see their sleeping faces before he goes to bed.

The first time we get to see Hongjoong fully in action as a producer is during his first 1-Day-Vlog in 2020 in which he's working on his Prince cover (more on that in a second).

But now to the main event: Hongjoong has an entire series going where he covers some of his all time favorite songs. Whenever he does, he likes to make the songs his own by recording his own instrumental track and typically adding an additional Korean rap verse with self-written lyrics highlighting his interpretation of the song's message.

Kicking things off with Space Oddity by David Bowie, a classic.

Side Note: As a lover of unisex clothing/androgyny, Hongjoong is likely not just inspired musically by Bowie, but also fashion wise. You can learn more about Bowie's influence on the climate surrounding gender and sexuality here.

Dressed in white, matching both his hair and the background, Hongjoong turned himself into a clean canvas on which he projected first footage of Bowie and later some floating orbs - it's very aesthetic.

Between the original verses and chorus, he placed a Korean rap verse in which he writes from Major Tom's perspective and laments his mental state while stuck alone in outer space, asking ground control to tell his mom he loves her while stating he still appreciates the beauty of space but feels lost and lonely all by himself.

Next up, we've got Purple Rain by Prince, another classic.

Side Note: Like Bowie, Prince too was famous for being androgynous in how he presented himself and toying with what society deemed masculine and feminine. He's famous to this day among the queer community for how persistently he defied gender norms and labels. Learn more about him here.

Instead of filming himself, we get a lyric video this time, fully kept in pastel lavender. Once again, Hongjoong added a rap verse of his own in which he speaks to a lost friend, talking about how he hopes that, even though they're apart now, his friend will still recall him as being sincere and that they can still think of each other fondly and remember the good times.

In a far more elaborate production, we've got Black or White by Michael Jackson up next.

Using green screen and multiple outfits, we get a fun spectacle of a little passion project featuring multiple versions of Hongjoong, background collages, emojis, and more:

Despite being shorter than the other covers, we still get the signature rap verse preceded by his famous giggle and, this time, he's got quite a bit to say.

Diving into the lyrics, he talks about how we're all different colors. Colors which are meant to be mixed. Our roots don't define us. Throughout life, we'll all get mixed up with each other, as we should. He doesn't want to see us divided. To quote: "What's wrong with you, babe? Stop it. You've already experienced the 20th century. Blah blah by dividing groups."

The song ends with the rap verse before the video dives into the making of in which Hongjoong specifically addresses his intent to talk about social issues like Michael Jackson famously used to while he was alive (think: They Don't Really Care About Us).

So long time by Yoon Jong Shin comes next with a sepia-toned video featuring Hongjoong at a grand piano. It's a pretty ballad highlighting his vocals and the use of multiple camera angles allows us to watch him play.

Shortly before we hit the 2 minute mark, Hongjoong gets up and we transition from the shot of the piano to a cassette player while the audio shifts to the original for a moment before Hongjoong returns.

We've reached the rap verse where he mourns a lost love, speaking of memories he can't let go of, even as he pretends everything is okay. He's cold and lonely now, a little mad at himself for continuously getting lost in the memories, and calls himself a fool before we return to the cover-part of the song.

At 3:58, the song wraps up and we've reached the making of section of the video where he talks about how his cover stems from the idea of a time machine taking you through the song, with the first verse (playing the piano) being the past, the rap verse symbolizing the present, and the memories then taking back over as he gets lost in them, leading to the piano's return.

Next up, we've got Last Christmas by Wham! which opens to a short clip of Hongjoong's acting on a pretty Christmas film set before we transition to a simple white back drop.

This time, the signature rap verse comes in early at 50 seconds with a little giggle before he talks about leaving the past in the past and moving on, letting the snow settle over painful memories.

However, this time, we also get a second rap verse at 1:45, where it becomes clear he hasn't moved on at all, plus a Korean vocal section at 2:43 which carries through to the end. Here, he highlights even further that he hopes they'll reconnect next winter so they can leave the painful past behind and live out a shared future.

Hongjoong in his emo era. This is the first Ateez-related video I've ever seen because I was born in '96 and my emo phase never ended so of course this was recommended to me when it was first released.

Numb by Linkin Park got the full Hongjoong treatment and was even reported on by Rolling Stone, quote:

The cover began trending on social media and YouTube within hours of its release, but the true prize came a day later when it caught the attention of Linkin Park themselves. The rock band’s official Twitter account ‘liked’ the post on ATEEZ’s page, with co-founder and vocalist Mike Shinoda confirming on a livestream that he’d seen and enjoyed the cover. As of this writing, Hongjoong’s version of “Numb” has over half a million views on YouTube and has garnered tremendous praise from Linkin Park’s fans.

We get the black eye makeup and nail polish, the plaid half skirt, the dramatic music video with fake fog and red lighting. The rap verse comes in hard, talking about getting mentally weighed down by an abuser and finally breaking free, cutting the ties.

As a long time Linkin Park fan, I love how unique this cover is and Chester would've loved it too I'm sure. I wish he could've seen it.

Fools Garden's Lemon Tree is another classic and I come back to it on the regular because the video has such a unique vibe and the song is famous for getting stuck in your head.

The video features Hongjoong alone in a house surrounded by colorful toys and games, bored out of his mind and visibly seeking a distraction from life but failing to find something, no matter how out of pocket his thinking gets.

Shoutout to the license plate - it's the release date of the song, November 3rd, 1995.

At 1:33, Hongjoong sprints off to the basement which is doused in red and we get a warped version of his signature giggle before the rap verse kicks in. The camera work in this section reminds me a bit of his rap verse in Not Okay.

While down there, he gets more and more deranged, talking about being locked up day by day, imprisoned, losing track of time, but being unable to break out. Instead of trying to escape, he just attempts to distract himself, listening to sad songs on a loop until his pain disappears and his world switches back to yellow.

Busking Event

In 2021, Hongjoong decided to put together a busking event featuring live performances of some covers, plus acoustic versions of some of their songs. Accompanying him were both Ateez and Maddox. You can find the full playlist here:

Collaboration

3 months ago, Chungha made a return to the music scene after escaping her former label and chose Hongjoong as a collaboration partner for her new debut. Beyond his rap verse, she also incorporated a move from Crazy Form in the choreography (she's lovely):

[ravenalla]

“The hellhounds originated from Gluttony and Beelzebub created them that’s why she looks like that. She’s suppose to be like the animal tamer of Lucifer’s circus.”

Okay but like Viv, none of that is made clear in your actual show. People had to actively ask if she was suppose to be the one and only Beelzebub and now your relying on Twitter fans to make theories on why your characters look certain ways or are allowed to do certain things, people who don’t follow you on social media aren’t gonna know shit about how this world works. I like subtle world building and hints, and I think the ideas of Beelzebub representing an animal tamer is fun (even if wrath makes more sense to me), but when the rules of how the hierarchy system and rings work is already so confusing and relies entirely on you looking it up online it just looks like you wanted to make another random furry design. Why are hellhounds represented by gluttony? We were never shown an instance of this before and the episode doesn’t even say that they’re in the gluttony ring at the start (which is just another Earth with a yellow sky this time how creative).

I’m not saying I want the show to spoon feed us everything, but just a little context and set up in the actual show instead of random things just happening all the time with no explanation would be nice? Like yeah it might get explained more later on in Hazbin, but why then did you make this entire spin-off show come out first taking place in these other locations and with these demon lords if you weren’t gonna set the ground rules of your universe for the audience? That’s exactly what’s causing people online to scramble to come up with explanations for you about why you have discrepancies like Tex and Beelzebub not being a big deal but Stolas and Blitz are, your relying entirely on diehard fans to wave away your shitty writing and world-building cause you never take even a single moment in your show to have a character say anything that would clew us in on how it all works. There’s too much exposition in writing, and then there’s never giving any so you just have to make guesses or listen in on streams to figure out what society your characters are even suppose to be navigating.

Also for the “A bee/fly would have been unoriginal and ugly, she doesn’t have to follow the Bible lore” people, have you considered the fact it’s just a messy design? Like I don’t even hate it on it’s own, she looks really pretty in the fanart I’ve been seeing. But putting aside the fact she’s just a wolf/fox girl, she has so many unnecessary markings, her actual hair combined with the honey hair looks so unnatural and awkward, the bug traits don’t stand out, her outfit is basically only a slight redesign of Loona’s and as people have pointed out makes no sense on her chest with the supposed undershirt. You just can’t tell what your suppose to be looking at when you first see her, it’s just noise, which is fine for an oc, but this is an actual animated show where your suppose to be communicating something. The problem isn’t she’s not fat, I’m glad they didn’t do that for her in a show with everyone else skinny it would’ve read bad, it’s that she only stands out because they slapped bright colors neon colors onto her, nothing about this design is clever. It’s just pretty aesthetics, no substance.

Also I’m sorry, they could’ve made her entirely a bug and still have been hot, why are people assuming we are saying she should’ve been ugly when we say we wanted a more insect-like design? I’ve seen loads of gorgeous bug designs for Beelzebub, people aren’t disappointed cause she’s hot they’re disappointed cause it makes no sense.

[sirfrogsworth]

It's hard to be nostalgic about Tumblr without remembering my friend Tru.

Truett McGowan.

What a fantastic name.

We met each other because we were both tech geeks following Leo Laporte. He was the very first live streamer. Originally he hosted a TechTV cable show called The Screen Savers. But once G4 took over and focused more on video games, Leo's show was cancelled and he was looking for a new way to broadcast content.

So he built a studio near his home and created his own infrastructure in order to live stream video on the internet. He called his new show "This Week in Tech" or TWiT for short.

Along with his new streaming venture he created a TWiT community using an open source microblogging platform called Laconica. It was a form of Twitter that you could create specifically for a single community. Basically a custom niche Twitter feed. I was trying to be a web designer back then, so I created custom themes for Lacnonica.

This was my own personal theme for a website that I ended up never launching.

Leo called his custom Twitter, "The TWiT Army." And I was his graphic designer and webmaster. I made all of the cute little graphics for the website.

I also did fun holiday themes...

For the Thanksgiving theme, if you hovered over the Turkey it would change to being cooked.

I also took it upon myself to photoshop a little army helmet on the avatar of every single user of the site.

This was the zombie avatar I made for myself during Halloween.

The TWiT Army was also where I started posting my first attempts at Photoshop comedy. Many of them related to The TWiT Army.

And The TWiT Army is where I met Tru. He used a space invader avatar. I made him a couple of different versions.

You may have seen his avatar on the sidebar of my main Tumblr.

We became fast friends. We finished each other's jokes. We talked pretty much all day, every day. He loved Apple back then. I was strictly PC at the time. So we debated about that quite a bit. He would probably be astonished I have a MacBook and that I really love it too.

Our friendship lived in a little text box. We never talked outside of instant messages. But it was one of the most profound friendships of my life. I loved Tru just as much as any friend I've ever known in real life.

Tru started blogging on this brand new site called Tumblr. He reviewed apps for the iPod Touch. Not the iPhone, as that wasn't yet a thing.

I made the banner for his Tumblr.

He kept trying to get me to join Tumblr, but I was busy trying to create my own custom comedy website. But my site kept getting more and more complicated and I could never quite finish it. I was trying to arrange guest authors and create 3 months of content and I was always futzing with the theme and never happy with it.

I was getting frustrated that I could never launch my perfect comedy website and Tru suggested just making a Tumblr and posting funny stuff so I could be creative and have an outlet until my big site was ready to launch.

Little did I know Tumblr would end up being my big comedy website. Eventually I abandoned months of work and just stayed on Tumblr. All of my success here is pretty much because that little space invader pestered me to join when I was being stubborn.

Unfortunately, as some may have figured out already, the story gets sad from there. Tru mentioned briefly that he had a heart defect, but he never said it was serious. He acted like it was no big deal so I never thought too much about it.

We always talked through instant message and email, so we never exchanged phone numbers or addresses or anything like that. Tru was a very private person so he never even published an image of his face online. I only knew him as a space invader.

One day I woke up and sent him a message and got no reply. He usually woke up before me and answered as soon as I said hello. This had been our routine for nearly a year.

An hour went by. Two hours. Three hours.

It was odd for him not to respond for that long. I was really worried but all of my TWiT friends told me I was being paranoid. But there was a huge knot in my stomach telling me otherwise.

But then those hours turned into days. Days into weeks. Weeks into months. My worry grew exponentially as more time passed. I didn't know what to do. I tried finding his family. I even looked into hiring a private investigator. I don't know if I have ever felt a combination of depression & anxiety that intense.

In my heart, I knew what had happened. I knew that heart defect took his life. He was only 26 and it just didn't seem fair. But the not knowing for certain ravaged my mental health. Before all of this I had lost nearly 90 pounds and I gained it all back.

I think maybe a year or so later I found a friend of his who knew him in real life. They were finally able to confirm my suspicions. He passed away from his heart condition. That was my first real experience with grief. But I was so thankful for that bit of closure. I was finally able to let go of my anxiety and mourn him properly.

But Tru gave me such a wonderful gift. He pushed me to just start making things. To stop stalling and just create things to make people smile.

And you all probably know the rest from there.