#and just say things onto the internet
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it’s funny how in the process of going to college to become a therapist is making me realize that I should probably go see a therapist
#rant post#serious post#personal post#mental health#haven’t seen one in at least 4 years#it’s because of fucking money#and time#i don’t have either of them#and if I state my concerns about my mental state to my parents i’ll have to explain it all#and vulnerability is fucking disgusting and i hate it#just took a questionnaire for curiosities sake and even though i’m not at all taking it as face value it said that my anxiety and#depression are both at and above moderate level rn#like thanks i’m not taking this questionnaire as law or as exact truth it’s not a fucking diagnosis but it is bringing stuff to my#attention and im not doubting that entirely#i feel fucking sick and useless and insecure and i have been forever and i don’t want to talk to anyone around me about it because like i#said vulnerability is disgusting and i hate it#i’m gonna take an actual break to do something that makes me actually happy for just 5 minutes then get back to finishing these assignments#sorry for complaining#i just needed to vent#and just say things onto the internet
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the trouble with being the one who survives is you must keep on doing it
inspired directly by @onionninjasstuff 's heart wrenching comic of Future Donnie's death (read it!!)
#my art#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#future donnie#future mikey#future leo#still not a million percent happy with the formating#but this is prolly the closest thing to a 'polished comic' ive made yet#think it wound up more like an 'emotional equivilant of a toddler kicking u in the shins' rather than 'steel bat to the knees' but eh#shrugs#at this point ive stared at it for too long so bam onto the internet it goes#also lmao i was just having fun w leos arm#and i knew it was super not even close to how his canon proesthetic looked#but i was just having fun w the mechanical nonsense#and then later i was like ah shit what color are his pants again lemme go watch a clip and check#and wouldnt ya know it i flipped the colors on his arm too#i think i actually prefer canons green shoulder w red bicep/band butttt#we can say this is an older prototype arm#which would mean donnie mustve left him a shiny new arm#that he'll never get to hear a speech mode ramble explination of#:')#u ever just think about how grief is this thing you have to take with you#its not just something you can walk away from not just an event that happens#its perpetual and part of you now#like its every time you go to make an immediate inside joke but theres no one there to share it#its every question you never got to ask and every new question you never will#every task you must reassign#every doubt that goes unreassured#its a silence that you bring with you to every room#haunting is so selfmade and i love it so much
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i've seen this show multiple times, listened to a bunch of recordings and helped ser with her consphiracy sphreadsheet WHY IS THIS STILL WORKING ON ME
#titspoilers#like why am i still excited about this#i hate them i hate them#i think it's just that it's such an unhinged concept#like straight up talking about like actual popular conspiracies#AND CONFIRMING SOME OF THEM#LIKE WHAT#and they did that live on stage for months and now it's going to be released onto the internet in hq what is going on#phannies really won#misty says things
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If you're going to reblog my (admittedly very ADHD) post about, to borrow someone else's excellent summation, bees in the brain, to say 'OP check your medications', have you considered:
not doing that
#listen. you may think you're being helpful.#can you just. please. for five seconds. consider the words you say to other human beings. thank you.#anyway I block people who smugly diagnose me on that post because#it's not somehow fine and not rude as hell to tell someone they have a mental illness based on one paragraph they wrote#just because the mental illness is ~fun and ~relatable#you don't know me and you are DEFINITELY not medically trained keep your fucking opinions to yourself#(note: this does not go for 'this can be a symptom of ADHD'/'I experienced this and then I got diagnosed'/'OP have you looked into'#just the smug 'yeah it's the ADHD'#why don't you fuck off into the nearest pond with that)#(real alive people on the internet are not fictional characters for you to project onto and headcanon about)#(and we are not friends for me to take this as a fun jokey thing. you are a stranger. and you are being INEXPRESSIBLY rude.)
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so many people just hear "dick was a cop" and go "eww im gonna pretend i didnt see that" and like. if its just bc you cant handle the subject matter thats one thing, but often times its just. performative. especially because the actually storyline is so much about dick trying (and as far as ive gotten to reading so far, failing) to make a change in the system and be a "good cop". it's an extremely heavy but genuinely very interesting storyline. dick does find other "good cops", but they're very much the minority and usually keep their heads down, because cops are bastards and will ruin the lives of "fellow officers" who try and do things right. they try to frame dick for murder at one point and everything.
#its such a long and significant thing that happened and im like. youre explicitly mentioning it just to say you're ignoring it? alright.#sure. so proud of you. im sure that makes a huge difference in the world. very cool.#not trying to shade at any one person but ive just seen that attitude from people have definitely never read nw96 lol#at most they read 93 so they can bitch about how 'terrible' they think it is and use it as an excuse to wish terrible things#onto like. one of Very Few women who were in the comic book industry at the time#but im sure theres nothing internalized going on there. sure its just coincidence that they never bitch about male authors#using the excuse of social justice#love me some social justice but fuckin hate people who try to do it in fictional space instead of like. reality#literally helping no one by harassing Problematic Woman Author#dont even wanna name her bc her haters are some of the worst people ive ever seen on the internet lol#ANYWAYS. im done ranting#woke up at 03:30 and chose violence i guess
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I found my schoolwork folder from my old laptop and I'm not saying everything I ever wrote was so great, but. I was honestly cooking with some of this. I did some fiction I did some memoir and I wrote some bangin term papers
#o to be in school and not be mentally ill...#someday i'm going to be an auditor and just do this shit for fun#the joy of writing papers... i was just explaining to gf how literary analysis works#(she never studied english deeply--she was an archaeology major#yes i know she's fucking cool and amazing yes i know i know#and also now works in a completely different field but to the point: not currently doing interpretive work in this way)#and how things that get onto social media and annoy her like 'frankenstein is a queer allegory because--' are just#bad lit crit arguments that filtered from some dweeb's paper onto the internet via a content mill article#and/or their xitter account#and don't mean that that's the sole accepted interpretation of a given work#basically i was saying that it's all argument#and that's why i always loved it#and why the only subject in math that i excelled in post-kindergarten#was geometric proofs#bc they're arguments#and you know me girls and wimmin and token males. i fucking love to argue
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Sometimes writing fanfiction feels so embarrassing because it's like screaming from the rooftops that I care so much about seeing these two non-existent people from someone else's stories cuddle and exchange a quiet conversation that I literally wrote out out a vividly detailed fantasy about it. And that I also wanted to see them crying and covered in their own blood to get them there. So I described that in excruciating detail too
#and then all my fellow fandom peeps show up and say wow beautiful writing! I lovebthese characters! I'm so happy you made them hug!#as if I didn't just spill the deepest internal workings of my mind onto digital paper#staining it with all my deepests hopes and fears glimpsed through what I cared enough to describe to you in that story#like. what the heck even is this#it's fascinating#I can pour every ounce of my graphically self indulgent fantasies* out to the internet and they will respond with naught but polite interes#and affection for everything I shared#(*in my case nonsexual but still)#just me rambling#sorry midnight poetics seem to be coming out again#this whole thing feels very poetic to me rn#just. I hurl my deepest insecurities and fears into the void and you overlook everything I think is wrong and too much#only to love everything I thought wasn't enough and would be left by the wayside and overlooked
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i’m not cut out to be a fan of something while new info is being released. any time i see a remotely negative or bad opinion i want to eat my own eyes
#personal#like what do i do when datv actually releases. just leave the internet for a few years?#personally i need time to react to things and form my own opinions before i can handle discourse#saw one person say they don’t like the new title and another say they’re glad they changed it so people can stop bullying—#—fans of a particular ship that i don’t want to tag. and like. both of you are so annoyingggggg shut up#i have no strong feelings about the title. i don’t think it needs the ‘the’ but i think it’s better than dreadwolf#and yeah i’m sure people have turned their vitriol against a particular character onto the shippers—#—but don’t pretend you’re not one of the most annoying and up yourselves parts of the fandom fjdkskdhksks
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re: this post, discord isn't a social media, but fuckers keep treating it like one by migrating all of their communities and posts to discord in the wake of each social media fuckup, so it kind of is one by usage at this point?
Like. Nine times out of ten, if you're looking for information on something, whatever you're looking for is locked in some fucking discord server.
If you want help with a game or a mod? "Oh, come join the discord!" You want some support or have questions about a medical condition? "Hey there's a discord for that!" You want to talk to somebody about a hobby? "There's a great discord community!"
All of these things used to be on forums that were accessible without siloing yourself into an instant messaging box full of people all talking at once, to search for the one nugget of information you actually need in the moment. It would be like if you wanted to get eggs at the grocery store, but to get that one thing, you had to naturalize as a citizen of a foreign country first.
And don't get me wrong; I have a discord account, and I use it to talk with friends. But I would rather eat my own shoes than join a "community" just to get some answers to a question that used to be posted visibly on reddit, tumblr, or fuck forbid, a topic-specific forum.
(To top it off, this doesn't even touch on my thoughts that discord, being a social tech company in 2023, is going to implode like all the other social tech companies because of increased monetization pressure. It's just a matter of time before they make dumb decisions like reddit, or get bought out like skype.)
#phoenix sounds#long post#This is all to say: I agree with OP semantically but disagree based on how people seem to use it#Forums got shafted by social media and increasing hosting costs#Now social media is being fucked over by its own incentives and the venture capitalists calling for profits#And an instant messaging platform for gamers is not meant to replace any of that#But people keep. Fucking moving their communities off of accessible internet and onto discord#Which bites people in the ass right now#And will bite those communities in the ass in the future#To finish off too: if you think tumblr moderation is bad. At least tumblr mods are employees#Discord mods often aren't. So just keep that thought in your back pocket when you join some large server#Because the harassment and bad actors of social media exist elsewhere too#And it's one thing to wade through that when you're being paid. But another if you're not paid/you're not trained/you're just some rando
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hey, listen, i have an incredible idea. you can use it if you want of course, im not gonna beg for credit or anything
but listen. how about instead of making me make an account, do email confirmation for said account, try to sign me up for a newsletter, and then make me download a whole separate client so i can access the VST you advertised as free
you just have the fucking download link on your website and cut out all this useless middleman bullshit
awesome idea, right?
#can we let the age of needing an account to download things come to an end#i have like 30 different accounts on websites i used to download things ONCE#and they still clog up my inbox with useless news shit that i dont care about#i know someone's gonna say “well just use a burner email”#here's the thing though. i shouldn't have to#i shouldnt have to use a burner email to get the thing i want for FREE#i shouldnt need to have an account to do the simplest things on the internet#this is the world's shittiest marketing strategy too. like this is genuinely worse than trying to spring a paywall for something onto me#i dont WANT your lame ass advertisements#i dont WANT your newsletter#you are legitimately scaring customers away by doing this#let me fucking use a free thing and stop bothering me about it. okay? we good?
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y'know, while I'm on the whole "awkwardly worded headcanons about cog society" thing:
often I think about the idea of the cogs like. performing behaviors that they don't strictly need to. like how we see them eat a variety of foods, instead of just consuming straight fuel. or how they might "sleep" in a bed. or even, how they might decide to build themselves a child, even though their kind typically doesn't need to be "raised", in such a way.
like, if they were made to work and nothing more, then why are they programmed to find behaviors like these comfortable and/or satisfying? do they even find it comfortable? or is it just something that's just part of their society, something they all do even though it has no apparent benefit to them? is it, perhaps, in imitation of something? of what?
#this is all very raw thoughts that im just spitting out onto the internet. not refined at all. crude thoughts. if you will. (haha. get it?)#hence why im not maintagging any of this. even though i usually do. on my previous ttcc hc posts#anyways. anyone reading this is more than welcome to converse here. and/or to say things that make far more sense than the things I do
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From Daigo considering Kiryu a father figure and the substory with him in Y0 I assume Kiryu was there a lot to tell him not to be a little shit. Yayoi and Daigo do not have the closest relationship during his 30-year old rebellious teen phase, but I got the impression it wasn't always like that. The fact that 12-year old Daigo was hanging around Kamurocho with older kids does imply Yayoi wasn't keeping a close eye on him but I get the impression that what parenting she did do would have been vaguely in the right direction.
yeah yeah that's what i was referring to in me last ask: the fact that, through daigo's y0 substory, you learn that kiryu's pretty much been one of the only really consistent people in his life to hang out with him
when it comes to yayoi and her parenting though, she readily admits she priorities the clan over daigo's feelings and needs (not just when he's an adult, but admits that ever since he was a kid she and sohei have always chosen the clan over him). at the very least, she's incredibly self aware of how lacking she is as a mother, and so at the same time is remorseful about her inability to connect with nor help daigo when he needs it
all of that said, it's hard to gauge what her parenting skills are actually like. sure, daigo turned out to be a respectable man, but again kiryu- whether you like/hate him or question his capabilities as a father- had a key, significant role in daigo's upbringing and is undoubtedly the main influence on his personality and manners. considering how willing daigo was to bend to kiryu's word as a kid, it wouldn't be hard to assume that if yayoi was as hard on him as she is when he's an adult, he might not have had that rambunctious phase nor attitude. the most i can conclude about her parenting is that she's wholly neglectful (and outright abusive when it came to telling daigo she would be taking the role of acting chairman) due to her prioritization towards duty
#snap chats#if we also want to consider the fact yayoi is virtually unheard of after y2 then she and daigo really arent all that close#like i firmly believe yayoi just doesnt know how to parent#i mean this in The Nicest Way Possible My Queen but she probably operates like my mom does#seeing her family more as a business opposed as A Family#thats not to say she doesnt love daigo but she'll always put the clan over him and wont try to connect with him if he cant be there for it#i don't think she acts this way without remorse though but having to be The Wife Of A Yakuza she isnt given the luxury of motherhood#especially when she's daigo's only parent now but is still the ultimate successor to the tojo#she really cant offer an ounce of weakness so she has to be even stricter#so when she was given those chances to be a parent.. idk. its pretty hard to say because i /cant/ imagine her getting those chances#or even really wanting those chances and just putting the responsibility onto someone else like kiryu#i can only really imagine her just asking for a 'report' from daigo- like how are his grades and if everythings ok#but beyond that not really doing anything to ensure those things are truthful#idk maybe half of this ramble is just projection so take it however you like im just a dude on the internet with mommy issues ╮(╯-╰)╭
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hey saw u got asks about the kamdens dad situation and i kinda wanted to share more just since the entire situation is really crazy. basically mr na has been hosting twitter spaces where he’s been sharing incredibly personal family details about things like family suicides and keeps giving these really backhanded compliments to kamden. he said “Tbh, I’m his biggest critic. I was worried about his singing despite him working so hard on his dancing. He worked really hard on his rapping and now, he’s not bad.” he also made some really insensitive comments about how the bit with the native american headdress wasn’t cultural appropriation even tho kamden was the only one who wasn’t laughing at it during the show. kamden actually called him in the middle of his last space to ask him to end it. i felt like i should share just cuz while some ppl r being rude i didnt want ppl calling mr na’s actions wrong to be misinterpreted as talking about a different situation.
I'll start by saying I guess this is a continuation from the earlier stuff? Like, he's just going on and on? But, again, this is a grown man. Of course, it can be seen as off putting, but he's no different than any parent on facebook oversharing on what their kids are up to (maybe not but I don't know how twt really works so I'm not sure what the spaces were like). There's really nothing wrong with any of this, except for the suicides, that's a bit questionable. He's not keeping up with the internet the way most bp watchers are. He's just a middle-aged man talking to the void. He's probably just really into the fact that he can talk to people who know who kamden is (parents aren't exactly known to be the most private about their kids, les be real here). Or the fact that he can talk to people who support his son the same way he does.
The criticisms aren't that much of a red flag either, in my opinion (could be because I grew up in the same boat) but from my understanding, most parents are their kids' #1 critic, and maybe it's just the quote you chose, but that doesn't seem so backhanded. It seems pretty objective to me? He's not coming off as insulting or overly praising. Just stating what it is.
The cultural stuff isn't really my place to comment on because I missed that bit entirely. I don't know what was said.
And I think the person who called had to have been kamden's twin. Trainees can't have their phones. Or at least can't make it known that they have them. Everyone who's ever been on the show makes a big deal of having no personal technology.
#anon#i still see this whole 'expecting him to react like a chronically online person' take because all the issues with him are exactly that#he's a grown man who probably works most of the day and has no clue about what is 'hip' online#hell i myself find myself confused as fuck when i get on twt and people are on some hate train and reasonings are news to me#if i'm out here getting lost i have no doubts that man is just rambling and wondering why people are upset#he is not one of us#let me repeat. he is. n o t. one of us.#we cannot hold him to the same standard as a popular influencer messing up on the internet#can people be upset? yes. uncomfy? yes. but this is no diferent than parets/grandparents spilling everything related to their kids#the info dumping is just a parent thing#the person who called probably did because it's all backfiring on kamden and people are getting on him as if he has a say#i just think everyone's a bit too jumpy about it#like the way people piled onto him that fast was bit insane#people on twt are straight beefing with a trainee's dad and then playing it off as his fault for not keeping up with the times#it's a fucking mess and it needs to stop - honestly#boys planet#boys planet problems#totally meant to post this the other day after work and forgot my bad
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*ripping my shirt type werewolf transformation sequence* im removing they/them from my bio
#does it work sometimes? yes. would i rather people use anything else? also yes#if you say you want to have a mix of pronouns used ppl will inevitably lock onto they/them as an easy shortcut#bc to them it's kind of like saying both at once in that context#rather than actually using interchangeable pronouns like i want them to#which is my way of saying it just feels kind of bad and i don't know that anyone is using it Incorrectly so much as maybe my assessment of#my own preferences was wrong. which is okay 👍#like i may just be projecting my own dysphoria onto their normal behavior. so anyway it's gotta go#it's still ok for ppl to use they/them on me ik it's a lotta ppl's default for internet strangers (it's mine too)#but yk. just putting it out there#also since i haven't drawn attention to my pnouns in a while reminder: if you know me irl probably don't use it/its. idk why don't ask me#every time my identity shifts im gonna do the werewolf thing now btw. it was funny#every day i become more 'bigender with extra steps'. not my fault it changes 💀#also reminder to use she/her for me. it's at the front of the list for a reason it's not misgendering i WANT you to use it sometimes
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pornstar!sukuna who has a niche for the dark and dangerous, he only accepts shoots that cater to his more… intense nature—ropes and chains and gags and rigs beyond the regular bedroom scenes.
pornstar!sukuna who works with many other actors and actresses. he's demeaned and degraded more people for a pay check than he can count, but his favourite is you. you’re not so easy to break, which he likes—plus, videos in which you bite back make double the profit.
pornstar!sukuna who is easy to agree when you call him one night asking for a favour. you were meant to do a camshow with another pornstar when he cancelled last minute—and you know people are excited for this one, if you don’t want to miss out on a paycheck you’d need to find a quick replacement.
pornstar!sukuna who is expecting a homemade bd/sm rig to greet him when he walks into your home that night.
pornstar!sukuna who isn’t expecting a bed with a pink duvet and matching fluffy pink handcuffs hanging from your headboard. it’s cute, he thinks—he can picture the scene, you laid out and fucked like a whore in pink. he’s eager, until you tell him the handcuffs aren’t for you, but for him.
pornstar!sukuna who is about ready to walk out, to tell you off for even assuming he’d do such things on camera, that he'd ruin his crafted image of this sadistic figurehead for a camshow of all things.
pornstar!sukuna who just can't say no and turn on his heels, not when you look up at him like that, your pretty eyes just too convincing. He's seen you fucked out and stupidly cockdrunk before, he knows what you look like when you submit wholly to him, and though it's a beautiful sight—one of his favourites—he can't deny that he's intrigued to know how you look through his eyes when they're glossed with desperate pleasure.
pornstar!sukuna, the notorious dominant, who loads up on thousands. of peoples screens handcuffed to a pink bed. Everything pink: the cuffs, the sheets, his mussed hair, the pretty blush that paints the bridge of his nose, the leaky tip of his cock as you stroke it, your nails painted pink to match.
pornstar!sukuna who growls when people start tipping each time he gets close to cumming. who looks so insanely out of place, big and imposing and so covered in tattoos that even his ridiculous length has been inked to an extent, all needy and growing all the more desperate as you keep denying him his orgasm. wrists chained to your wooden headboard, his muscles ache with the temptation of breaking free.
pornstar!sukuna who can't help but wonder if his life has been flipped on its head when you start praising him and he moans at your words alone. Who, for all his life has gotten off on inflicting the worst onto others, and can now feel the most powerful orgasm of his life cresting when those narcotic words spill from your lips. "doing so well for me, god you look good like this, sukuna."
pornstar!sukuna who can only hold on for so long before his taut-pulled patience snaps and burns on impact. so when he's watching himself through the display of your laptop, cock red and angry as it leaks in need at your denial of his orgasm again, he snaps.
pornstar!sukuna who breaks your handcuffs with one pull, and has you flipped over and taking his mean cock in less time than it takes you to process his movements. who is glad you were enjoying torturing him, because you're so wet that the stretch of his cock is only searingly painful and you're not pushed to tears... this time.
pornstar!sukuna who fucks you mindless for toying with him for so long. for airing out a side of him that is weak in the bones for you, and plastering it on the internet for anyone to see. he bullies his cock into you, mean and unrelenting—yet whispers the sweetest of nothings into your ear as he does so, low enough that your mic can't pick up on them—your ears only.
pornstar!sukuna who kisses you when he cums. his lip piercing cold against your lips, your legs shaking in desperate need for mercy as he paints your insides white.
pornstar!sukuna who laughs when you, in your cum-drunk haze, try to reach for your laptop to turn off the camshow.
pornstar!sukuna who promises your now-doubled viewer count that the stream won't end until you've come ten times on his cock—he's going to make an example out of you.
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#sukuna ryomen#sukuna#jjk sukuna#jujutsu sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#pstarsukuna
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𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝
— a rafe cameron one shot



✰ when y/n gets her boyfriend to partake in a viral tiktok trend.
rating: sfw — cw: none
anyone who had a phone and internet access knew of the viral couple’s trend, and y/n was no exception. endless sickeningly sweet videos flooded her feed of men effortlessly lifting their girlfriends onto their shoulders, some ending with them toppling over into a heap of laughter; it left a warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of her stomach and she, too, wanted the first hand experience.
she knew rafe better than anyone; being recorded doing some silly trend for the world to see simply wasn’t something he’d be willing to do. despite that fact, she knew it wouldn’t hurt too terribly to propose the idea. so, with little hesitation, she made her request known.
“rafe?” she quipped from her place on the couch, her legs draped lazily over her boyfriends lap. “hm?” he hummed, his attention momentarily glued to the phone in his hand as he finished a text. “can we, maybe, try something?” she asked, watching as he completed his typing before tossing the device onto the coffee table with a clank.
“what’s that?” he mumbled, running a hand up her bare leg and resting it on her thigh, lightly squeezing as he gazed at her. “before you say no, just hear me out, okay?” she asked, his face quirking at the request. he nodded his head in a way that prompted her to continue, so she did.
“i wanna see if you can lift me,” she informed simply, to which rafe’s brows rose in question. “if i can lift you?” he clarified with a mild confusion, “y’know i can — do it all the time.”
“no, i mean, like—,” she fumbled with her phone for a moment, tapping at the screen before turning it to face him, “it’s for a video thing… like this.” he watched intently as a couple performed the ‘lift’ in reference and his face contorted to one of scrutiny.
“why?” he questioned, genuinely not understanding the appeal. “i don’t know, looks fun — it’s cute,” y/n mumbled with a shrug, gradually becoming less enthused. “looks kinda dumb,” he muttered honestly, completely disconnected from the internet and it’s need for spontaneous niches. “oh,” y/n spoke quietly as she stared down at the device — maybe he was right.
rafe noticed the shift in her demeanor instantly, his heart squeezing as she slouched against the armrest of the couch, a small pout pulling at her lips that she tried to fight against. he felt a pang of guilt in his chest, hating how filter-less his mouth could be. he didn’t mean come off as cold and dismissive, but he knew that he did, and often does; he also knew that he needed to fix it.
“okay, come on,” he sighed, patting her thigh before sliding her legs off his. “what?” she asked in surprise, her eyes following him as he stood. “let’s do it,” he shrugged, holding out a hand for her to take. immediately, a bright smile flooded her face as she wrapped her digits around his larger palm. “really?” she beamed as he pulled her to her feet. “yeah, i just— is that it?” he motioned to the phone in her grasp, “i just pick you up?”
“yeah,” she nodded enthusiastically with a grin, her eyes glistening as she did so and rafe couldn’t help but let his lips mimic her own. “alright, go set it up,” he instructed as he peered down at her, softly patting her hip in encouragement. she obliged quickly, propping her phone up on the coffee table and setting a timer to count them down from thirty, hoping that would allot them enough time to prepare.
“please don’t drop me,” she laughed as rafe situated his large hands around her waist, his long fingers nearly touching each other at the center of her stomach. “i’d never,” he scoffed with a soft smile, “just tell me when.”
“almost,” she muttered as she watched the numbers descend on the screen, “okay-okay, three, two, one.” instantly, she felt the hold on her body tighten as rafe effortlessly lifted her through the air; she didn’t need to jump in assistance, nor did he grunt or struggle in the slightest, carrying her gracefully as though she was a feather. she instinctively gripped his wrists as a squeal left her mouth, a melodic stream of laughter following as he propped her onto his shoulder, her body fitting perfectly on the broad surface.
the recording ended and the song looped softly in the background as rafe carefully slid her down his body, his hands resting underneath her arms as he lowered her to the ground. as soon as her feet hit the floor, she padded over to watch the perfectly imperfect recording — the framing was off, seeing as rafe was too tall to fit, and she didn’t lip-sync to the lyrics as most others had, but none of that mattered in the slightest.
“look,” she grinned, holding the phone out for rafe to see. he smiled fondly down at her, his eyes flickering between her face as she watched the clip and the clip itself. admittedly, he enjoyed participating, enjoying even more how giddy she was about it. “i see,” he assured with a small smile, his focus primarily on his happy girl as he rested a hand on her hip, rubbing small circles on the bone.
“i love it,” she gushed, ecstatic to have something so sweet and silly of herself and her boyfriend that she just knew she would watch over and over and over again. “good,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, the moment being interrupted when his phone rang out — a call he was expecting.
“i’ve gotta take this,” he informed, running his fingers under the hem of her shirt and softly grazing the skin before breaking the contact. he grabbed the cell from it’s place on the table, answering it with a hushed greeting before exiting the room, leaving y/n to rewatch their video again with a cheek-aching grin; her man was in-fact very jacked and oh-so kind (but only ever for her).
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