#and just never really caught up to her sibs

[theborzoiarebackintown]

Now that the babies are back we’re going to start some daily house time to learn some basic manners! So far they’re having a great time.

[bones4thecats]

If it's okay can I please ask for Loki Beelzebub and Poseidon but how are they react to meeting Kianna's older brother Subaru

In her backstory she actually left Subaru alive since he helped her and they see each other as siblings

Meeting Subaru and Yui (Sibs of S/O)

Type of Writing: Request Characters: Loki, Beelzebub, and Poseidon Name: Meeting Subaru and Yui (Sibs of S/O) Requester: @nunezs-stuff

A/N: Much like with my past work, if you want to find some more information on this ‘Kianna’, you can go to the requester’s account and read all about her OC. Here, Yui is technically alive, since this is set after the events of the story, so they’re all dead and in Valhalla.

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🐍 Loki has a smaller family when it comes to the Godly-standards, he has Odin as his uncle and Thor as his cousin. While in Pantheons such as the Greek, there were four brothers with one being married and having three kids, Zeus’ blood and non, and there was Kronos and Rhea

🐍 So, when he officially met you, he wasn’t very surprised to hear about you having a sister and brother. In fact, Loki basically begged for you to introduce them to his own family

🐍 It took many different tries on his part to actually get you to consider bringing in your siblings in for a visit, but when you told him you gave in and were bringing the two in for a reunion of the Norse Pantheon

🐍 Looking back at the two behind you, you noticed that Yui smiled as she adjusted the collar around her kimono as Subaru adjusted the bow holding his outfit together, and once they gave you their respective nods, you began to walk ahead and opened the doors to the Norse Pantheon’s estate

🐍 Loki was getting bored floating around and pranking his fellow Deities, it just wasn’t the same without his amazing S/O alongside him

" Loki? Are you around? "

🐍 Opening his eyes and turning upside down from the tree branch, Loki looked around for the beautiful eyes of his S/O, only to be immediately met with the sight of mismatching red and pink eyes

" Woah! Watch where ya’ hang there. " " Y/N? " " Hello there, Loki. "

🐍 Okay, this guy was so confused right now…

🐍 Once he caught sight of you, your boyfriend wrapped himself around you from behind, slightly glaring at the man and woman, blissfully unaware of who they were to you

" Loki, meet Subaru and Yui, my ‘adoptive’ brother and my sister. " " Oh… my bad. " " Meh, I’ve had worse reactions than that. Note; don’t go to a church as a vampire, doesn’t end well. " " Yeah. Besides, we understand, you’ve never met us until now, so it’s understandable why you’re weary of us. "

🐍 Loki’s eyes slightly widened at how loose they seemed, while you normally were more tightly bound with superiority issues

🐍 As Yui held out her hand, the calls of Odin’s bird, Huginn and Muninn echoed in your ears, alerting both you and Loki that Odin and Thor were ready to meet your siblings, just to make sure they were alright to visit again

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🪰 He was surprised that this curse has allowed him to even be around you and care for you, nonetheless even come into a full-on relationship filled with love around you without you being harmed

🪰 When you had admitted that you had a couple people you wanted him to meet, Beelzebub was put off, since for many years, he grew up with this curse and because of it, never really had anyone before you and Hades

🪰 Holding your hand tightly, Beelzebub looked down at you and sighed, knowing that you would provide your dearest God with any kind of comfort or space if he needed it

" Are you ready, Beel? " " I suppose… " " Open the doors for my siblings! "

🪰 As the guards of the estate opened the doors in fear of your rage, you noticed the feeling of Beelzebub’s grip on your hand tighten as the doors creaked open further and further until the sight of a tall man and shorter woman were shown

🪰 Smiling gently at the duo, you lightly pulled your boyfriend with you to great your guests, or rather, your family

🪰 Yui looked at your boyfriend and back at you with confusion before Subaru cocked an eyebrow and practically glared at Beelzebub, not fearing that he was a God set to participate in the upcoming event of Ragnarok in a few days

" Ah! My apologies, you must be Y/N’s boyfriend. I’m Yui, Y/N’s older sister. And this is- " " Subaru, their ‘adoptive’ older brother. "

🪰 You sighed as Subaru kept his stern look on your boyfriend, his form not shaking or anything as the Lord of the Flies just stared back without any emotion inside his black eyes

🪰 Gripping his hand tighter and making him slightly flinch at your surprisingly strong grip, Beelzebub lowered his guard slightly, just enough to notify Subaru that he were not going to harm you or Yui

" Would you guys like a tour around the estate? " " That would be amazing, little sibling! "

🪰 Despite the fact that Subaru was still burning holes into the head of the man you were holding hands with, you understood that Subaru was only trying to protect you from harm, and you knew it was fruitless. Beelzebub loved you, even the Gods you have met said so, and they hate mentioning stuff like that

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🔱 Poseidon didn’t even like having to see his own family, nonetheless seeing someone else’s, it just made him feel slightly awkward. But, he could also say he was annoyed, he isn’t fond of social events, preferring to spend most time to himself

🔱 He sat down at the small table on your bedroom’s balcony and heard as the front doors opened with a loud drag from their sheer mass and size

🔱 Just at that moment, you knocked on the door and walked inside your room, alerting your soon-to-be husband that you were going to tell him who had come by for a visit, and whether it was for him or you

" Poseidon, my love, it seems we both have guests. " " And who, perhaps, are these guests? " " They are my two siblings, Yui and Subaru. "

🔱 Poseidon knew that you had siblings, as during one of your first dates years ago, you and him spoke about your family relationships, so parents, siblings, everything like that

🔱 Looking from the dark and colorful ocean to you, the God of the Seas sighed mentally, speaking to some random people was something that he did not want to participate in that day. He specifically scheduled no meetings for said reason

🔱 But, no matter, as long as they don’t try testing his patience, he can hold himself back for you

🔱 Holding out his arm, you wrapped your arms through his and began to walk down to the main room to meet up with the two siblings you hadn��t spoken to for the few months you have lived with your lover

" My dear siblings, to what do we owe the pleasure of your presence? " " Y/N! You haven’t spoken to us in months! What do you have to say for yourself? " " First of all, thank you for the gracious hello back. Second, I would like to introduce you to my fiancé, the Greek God of the Seas and the third-born son of Cronus and Rhea, Poseidon. "

🔱 Yui’s eyes widened and the man beside you could sense her aura slightly depleted in fear, but, he could also tell that the man beside her aura had enlarged with protectiveness

" P-P-Poseidon?! Oh my! I’m so sorry for the rude introduction! I am Yui, your lovely to-be older sister, and this is Subaru, our older ‘adoptive’ brother. " " Pleasure. "

🔱 You looked into your to-be’s ocean-blue eyes and slightly pinched his arm, making him look into your eyes with shock hidden underneath a layer of emptiness glossing his form

🔱 Subaru groaned and had to hold Yui back from running over and hugging Poseidon and you, since he knew that the God of the Seas was one with very little love for physical touch

[crusty-chronicles]

The Moon and Sun (Big Sib Reader x Gon/Killua)

Ch 11: From Bad To Worse

Synopsis: Things just keep getting worse and worse the further you descend into the NGL. And one final push from an unrelenting group of Chimera Ants finally causes Y/n to lose it. Will they be able to keep going after this slip up.

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"Hurry, this way!" Your voice was commanding as you made a sharp turn to the left. The others skidded behind you at the sudden change in direction before following suit. Your pace was decent enough for the three of them to keep up.

It felt akin to following a bloodhound when it caught the scent it was looking for.

Except the trail you were following was one of fear and malice.

The deeper you descended into the NGL, the stronger those emotions were felt. You were trying to follow the most recent ones in the hopes of coming across a Chimera Ant.

So far, no luck.

"It's safe for us to assume that the Chimera Ants have taken full control of the NGL'S interior," Kite said, En picking up the same things your ability had.

"The only question now is whether we can reach the nest before the queen has a chance to give birth to the king."

"If we're lucky, we'll find an ant that'll take us right to her. We just need to time it right." You had once again changed directions. A new feeling of bloodlust showing up on your radar a few miles away.

If you were all quick enough, you'd probably get there before sundown. And hopefully, whatever that thing was would stay there.

You never really showcased your ability like this before, so seeing it in action was something completely different. It felt a little strange to the two boys trailing behind you. You, who had always hung back and offered the occasional guidance, were more serious than ever. More focused than they'd ever seen you.

It made them realize they hadn't known you as well as they thought.

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Ghost towns

That would probably be the best descriptor for what you were seeing.

Every village you all stumbled upon was deserted. Signs of a struggle evident, but no blood. It was like they'd been abandoned for years. Or like something scared them out.

No people

Not even any farm animals.

Not a single trace of life.

The current village you entered was no different. You'd been so sure that something was here. That you'd stumble across what was causing all these people to vanish. The bloodlust here had been brand-new, so to find nothing......

You let the boys investigate further with Kite, but you already knew they wouldn't find a damn thing. At least nothing living. Seems this village got hit harder than the others, though.

Windows and doors smashed to pieces. Houses collapsed and the rubble from them scattered.

"Nobody's in here." Gon observed from outside a broken home.

"Anything, Y/n?" Kite called out. Perhaps you'd sensed something he hadn't.

"No. I can't feel anyone. We must've missed it by a few hours." You responded.

Damnit. At this rate, you'd never reach the queen.

"We should still keep searching. Maybe someone left behind a clue?" Gon suggested.

"Be my guest, but there's nothing here." No point in giving false hope. So you waited in the center of the village for them to finish.

But you were wrong about them finding something. Gon, with his enhanced five senses, had picked up on a repulsive scent.

"Hey, something smells bad." He pointed in the direction of a stable a good meter away.

"It's coming from over there."

Begrudgingly, you followed after them towards the smell.

Oh

You knew this one.

The unmistakable stench of rot and decay.

You tensed up at the sight of dried blood leading from each stable towards the forest. It was a rusty brown, meaning that it had been a few hours since the attack.

You didn't need your ability to tell you that everyone was now on edge. Worried about what would be found at the end of this bloody trail.

As long as it was dried, it wouldn't soak into your paper-thin shoes. It wouldn't stick to your skin. It wouldn't shake you up as much. But that didn't mean you were fine.

You don't quite remember how you became this squeamish. There had been a time where it didn't bother you. A time where you were desensitized to the splatters that littered your body.

That kid was long gone now. Their innocence towards the world was gone.

In their place, a coward who couldn't even stand the sight of a drop of blood. Who knew that this much caked onto the floor meant death.

No, you were not at all fine.

But you would push through.

For them.

For her.

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You were an idiot for not closing your eyes this time. You supposed it had to do with the stress of everything intensifying. The pressure to find the queen before any more people died. The choice of using your senses instead of eyes to guide you was forgotten.

As you reached the end of the trail, and the scent of rot became its strongest, you were met with several horses skewered on the tops of trees. Blood leaking down and pooling underneath.

A feeling of shock from the others before you doubled over gagging. Coughing and clutching at your mouth, willing the vile building up not to spew out.

Drip

Drip

Drip

The stench of copper mixing with decay. Filling your nose and reaching down to strangle your throat.

What monster would do this?

Deface the dead and use them as trophies.

The beating of your heart in your ears was too loud for you to hear anything else. Your previous focus completely gone.

You made the mistake of looking up again and couldn't stop your body's visceral reaction. Your stomach finally spilling its contents onto the forest floor.

You weren't the only one disturbed by the sight in front of you. You also weren't the only one grossed out by the smell either.

But you were the only one who had reacted so strongly to it. You were more kept together than you had been on Greed Island, but it was enough to cause concern for both boys.

Killua being the one to try and stabilize you when you started wobbling on your feet.

"Why'd you look at it if you know you can't handle blood, you idiot!?!"

You could only continue to dry heave in response. The trembling of your body increasing.

It was a damn shame. You were not prepared mentally for this. And as much as Kite didn't want to admit it, you'd only slow them down if you continued.

Useful as your ability was, there was no point in forcing you to use it if something as tame as this was enough to make you crumble. You wouldn't be able to handle what was in store for the future.

You would get hurt.

And those boys would be reckless on your behalf.

"Think happy thoughts, yeah? Oh! Your best friend. The one with the bullet that never misses. Tell us about him." Gon was on your other side, trying to come up with anything that would distract you from the sight.

"We're not friends. Don't get it twisted. We're rivals, ya hear!"

"Whatever you say Deshin... BestFriendSaysWhat?"

"What? Dang it!"

"He was *cough* a total tool. And he *cough cough* could never-" you froze as your senses momentarily returned to you.

There was something lurking.

Watching the three of you.

And there was two of them.

You turned around quickly, clutching your stomach for dear life. You hobbled one step closer to the underbrush and pointed.

"Quit hiding *cough* like a coward and come *gag* out!"

You were hanging on by a thread at this point. But if you could prevent an ambush, then your limits would just have to hear it.

Gon and Killua tensed next to you, glaring as a figure neared the edge of the clearing.

"Hey!" The being rumbled.

But it wasn't a human that emerged from the forest. Far from it. The creature looked like an amalgamation of animals pieced together.

Phagogenesis was it?

You could faintly feel shock from the others. You shouldn't have let this thing fly past your radar. You shouldn't have let it get this close, presence concealed or not. And if you hadn't been so discombobulated, you'd have sensed it sooner. Both of them that is, but you weren't in any condition to warm them of the other one at the moment. Your poor stomach was still queasy.

"What?" Pure confusion in Gon's tone, trying to figure out just what this creature was.

"What the hell is that thing!?!" Killua exclaimed right after.

Both of them taking a protective stance from besides you. The hostility from their aura growing. All while a certain silver haired hunter watched on, analysing the unfolding situation at hand.

It's presence had been concealed, and yet...

You were able to sense it. You were struggling to stand, but you were able to pinpoint the Chimera Ant's location whereas Kite couldn't feel a thing.

What would have happened if you didn't sense this creature when you did?

Your ability was precise. Practiced to a T. Whatever training you had undergone was either incredibly harsh or incredibly time consuming. Perhaps both. His thoughts were cut short by the ant speaking up.

"Filthy scum! Keep away from my damn prey!" It bellowed before charging forward. Bloodlust oozing from its aura.

You didn't have any time to react, your brain and body still lagging behind. All you could do was stare with unfocused eyes as the ant set it's sights on you.

A fist making harsh contact against your abdomen. The force sending you back against one of the trees. With a final choked out gasp, you were able to regain some of your focus. The pain temporarily grounding you from the gore above.

Your eyes widened as you saw the creature lunge for Gon next. He stood still, shaking at the thought that you hadn't been fast enough this time.

You'd actually gotten hit.

But that was quickly proven to be a fluke as you rebounded with a speed so fast, it looked like you'd never been knocked back in the first place.

The arm extending towards him stood no chance against your instantaneous reaction. Your leg lifted up, then slammed down with a force that shook the ground.

A sickening crack reverberating throughout the forest.

You stumbled back as the pain processed in the Ants head, a screech ringing out a few moments later.

"Damn, didn't mean to do that." You'd meant to stop that thing from attacking your kid, but not to break its arm. Its very splintered and purpling arm.

Even if you did mean to kick the appendage away, you never meant to use that much force. You were never supposed to use that much. But you weren't exactly all here right now. A slip up was bound to happen with the way your mental state had just deteriorated.

Still, you felt bad for the poor thing.

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

The Chimera Ant once again changed towards you. A scream of your name from the two boys before you were enveloped in another protective presence.

Kite stood in front of you, effectively blocking off the Ant's access. His aura was strong, tougher or just as tough as Razor's. The stance he took left no openings for an attack. His entire demeanor intense and intimidating.

Silently challenging the creature to make its move.

It all disappeared in an instant as he turned slightly to address you.

"Are you hurt?"

You shook your head.

"No, this thing is weak. I was just caught off guard is all."

You didn't really feel the punch from earlier. You've had much, much worse. If anything, you were just a smidge sore. These things probably had body armor.

"Can you walk?"

"Yeah. I'm fine... Physically I'm fine."

"Good. Follow me."

Your face scrunched up at his instruction, but you trailed behind nonetheless. You figured he must've had an idea. For what exactly, you couldn't tell.

At least not until he led you towards the area where Gon and Killua had grouped up. Both relieved to see you were okay. The ant, however, was getting impatient.

Good, your ability was working again.

"Now Gon and Killua, this one is all yours. Take care of him."

So that was his plan.

You turned and gave him a small glare, opening your mouth and then closing it. Right, he was supposed to be mentoring them. But was now really the best time?

Sure the ant was barley an inconvenience, but c'mon. Your boys were shell shocked. They were probably just as discombobulated as you had been.

Sensing the apprehension in your aura start to rise, Kite explained his reasoning for the suggestion.

"That's a Chimera Ant soldier. There are bound to be plenty more like him from here on out. I won't be able to rescue you during combat like Y/n did. If you can't defeat him, go home."

It was harsh, but like always, Kite was right. If they couldn't beat something as weak as this, they'd be in immense danger here. You were already stumbling around as it was. Hell, you'd probably have to leave soon yourself.

"You'll just be in my way."

But that part was a little unnecessary. Don't baby them Y/n.

You could sense determination and confidence once again surge through them. As if they had just gotten a newfound purpose. There was a spark of defiance too. And if you knew your boys.....

A surge of aura poured out from them, strong and assured. The strength combining with the sheer amount of power made them visible without using your ability.

"I've already told you Kite-" Gon started.

"We're both professionals, too." Killua finished for him.

Their resolve became unbreakable as they approached the ant.

"So don't treat us like kids!"

You elbowed the taller male next to you, expression smug as he met your gaze. You threw a wink before shouting after them.

"C'mon boys, this thing's chump change! You can beat it easy without breaking a sweat! And if you can't, then I'll be very disappointed!"

Their aura seemed to grow stronger at your words.

"Right, we won't let you down, Y/n." Gon assured.

"Yeah, so just sit tight and focus on getting better, eye bags." Killua added.

You'd get him back for that one. For now, you were content to sit back and watch what happened. You had no doubt in your mind that they would win. Your own wave of confidence radiating from you.

And the reaction was a little amusing for Kite despite the circumstances.

The boys didn't want to be treated like kids, and yet they had let you baby them without much complaint. Wanting you to pick them up and coddle them. Thriving at your words of affirmation.

They loved you, that much was obvious. They also seemed to hold the highest level of respect for you. Trusting in your abilities and fully aware of your limits. Deathly protective too, as he was starting to learn from the little glares Killua would give when he thought Kite wasn't looking.

Then there was you who had temporarily caught him off guard twice now.

You'd broken that creature's arm like it was nothing. Not an ounce of nen coating your leg. It was just pure strength. And Kite was briefly reminded of when he had hit both boys away from the smaller ant nest.

You could have done that to him.

You probably could have done worse.

But you held back. You were still holding back. For whatever reason, you were restricting yourself physically. Like you were afraid.

'I didn't mean to do that.' What did you mean to do? What were you capable of doing?

Seems he was wrong about his previous assessment though. You could hold your own perfectly fine. However, he was unsure if letting you push yourself over your limits was the right call.

The battle began soon after, with Gon and Killua charging forward towards the Chimera Ant. Their first round of blows deflected and useless against its body armor. Both being tossed to the side like nothing.

But you had a feeling the tables would turn soon. Afterall, a creature this weak could never cause them any real damage. Not like Razor's spike and sure as hell not like Genthru's Little Flower ability.

You were quickly proven correct as Gon went in for another punch. The ant dodged and slammed its good arm against his back, temporarily winding him. Killua used its distracted attention to his advantage, jumping above the ant and summoning his nen into his hand.

Aura spiking impossibly strong as now lightning enveloped his palm. The ant looked up in shock before being electrocuted by Killua's attack.

"Thunderbolt!" Killua shouted as the electricity made contact with the Chimera Ant. The sky lighting up in a blue hue while the creature itself was unable to move. Shocks coursing through its body and leaving it dazed when all was said and done.

A feeling of amazement from Kite while you were practically beaming with pride. So much so you gripped onto the taller male's shoulders and shook him around in excitement.

"THAT'S MY BOY!" Your words of praise causing the small assassin to turn his head towards you and beam right back.

"Show me rock!" The sound of Gon's voice had you looking over in his direction.

A familiar spike of aura covering his fist. The fiery nen building up to its strongest before he struck the still dazed ant.

"Jan-Ken-Rock!"

The force from his punch sent the Chimera Ant flying in the air. Your feeling of pride swelling even more.

"THAT'S MY OTHER BOY!" You exclaimed shaking Kite again, all while pointing excitedly towards Gon.

The boy in question ducked his head down with a sheepish smile. You really were starting to sound like a parent now, and it felt nice for a change. He supposed if it was you, then being babied wouldn't be all that embarrassing.

All four of you were caught off guard as a second Chimera Ant dashed from the tree line after the first. Picking it up with its talons and taking off.

"Crap. Forgot about that one." You mumbled.

"You sensed that one too?" Kite asked, eyeing the two ants soaring away.

"Yeah, but I kinda forgot about it with everything going on."

That and there was clearly a difference between the two of them. The first ant had oozed bloodlust. The hostility radiating off made it a priority. The other ant had felt neutral. No outward desire of hurting you four. No intention of protecting its friend either.

It was just a spectator. And it didn't seem to be very strong either. It probably could have attacked when you were distracted, but it didn't. Something felt off about that one. Your thoughts were cut short by a screech so powerful, it created turbulence.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! I'M GONNA EAT YOU!!!"

You quickly moved in front of the boys, shielding them from the force of its shrieks. The ant noticed you and seemed to get angrier.

"YOU!!! I'M GONNA TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB AND SKIN YOU WHILE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"

You glared back at it, unwavering. Your expression unamused. Not only was this thing weak, but so were its threats. You'd definitely heard worse than that.

"I SWEAR ON MY LIFE, YOU'RE ALL DEAD! YOU HEAR MEEEEE!"

It may have been an insect, but it was more human than you had anticipated. And while you were sure killing one of these things didn't go against your previous oath, it still didn't feel right. They could think and feel, albeit evil thoughts and emotions, like people. Blood was blood, and you wouldn't be spilling any if you could help it.

You directed your attention back to the boys who you could feel starting to panic. Eyes never leaving the sky the ants had fled away in. Defeat was also radiating from them. Like they had failed.

They did fine, at least in your book. And before you could reassure them, Kite spoke up.

"It's because that one's smart." It was as if he knew exactly what they were thinking because as soon as the words left his lips, they both started to relax.

"He just let his lackey in to fight so that we would tip our hand."

They may have let the enemy get away, but you were right all along. These boys were strong. Inexperienced, but strong. They would get a chance to hone in their abilities here. It was no wonder you had so much faith in them. You weren't a pushover either, but something was holding you back.

What interesting company he had found himself in the midst of.

"Are you coming?"

He could feel surprise from the two boys and relief from you.

"See? You two did okay, so don't worry about it," You reassured.

Killua relaxed completely from your words while Gon looked back at Kite unsure. It seemed to catch the silver haired hunter off guard for a second. Expectant honey colored eyes wanting a bit of praise. You were a little grateful it wasn't you on the opposite end of that stare for once.

However, the reason why it wasn't had your expression softening a bit. Kite was someone who'd known Ging personally. Who had his full respect. And Gon had made it very clear the last thing he wanted was to disappoint his father. Which meant he also didn't want to disappoint Kite, because while he wasn't him, he was the closest thing Gon had at the moment.

You knew Killua would take a while to get there. To accept another person into his small circle yet again. But it was only a matter of time before he would give his trust too.

"Hey, don't be so disappointed. Your attacks just now, they weren't that bad," Kite assured, effectively making the boy in green beam up at him. He really did look a lot like his father.

He could feel slight irritation bubble up from your aura. If he knew you, there was a retort going something like, 'Not bad? My boys were incredible. Did you see how far they sent that thing in the air,' on the tip of your tongue.

He wouldn't admit it, at least not here, but he found your protectiveness towards them endearing. So willing to defend them, even over words. Yes, they loved you, but you absolutely cherished them. And before you could give the retort itching to chew him out, he quickly made his point. Maybe he was starting to find that temper of yours endearing too.

"You just need a bit more experience, that's all. If you wanna get stronger, this is a perfect opportunity."

And once again the thought of something bad happening to your little family went through his mind. The boys could get stronger here, yes, but they could also get hurt. You could get hurt protecting them, or from being distracted by your 'condition.'

How many times had he already asked to make sure you three wanted to go through with this?

Did it matter if he asked once more?

"If you aren't prepared, you won't be able to endure the ordeal. From here on out, in victory or defeat, it'll be hell."

And it completely blindsighted him, what happened next.

"Language!" The duo scolded.

It was as if they completely disregarded his warning. Did they really not care, or perhaps...

At the sound of your laughter he turned his head. You were clutching your stomach and wiping away a stray tear.

"I have never been more proud in my life!"

Oh

It made sense now.

You and your habits were starting to rub off. And it once again cemented the idea that the boys really were just kids. Tough as hell, but kids nonetheless.

He could see why you were deathly attached to those boys. And why they had clung to you so effortlessly.

You were doing a great job raising them so far.

"Oh and you bet your sweet bippy we're still in! You're stuck with us, so don't bother trying to scare us off now!" You looked triumphant as you spoke.

A certain confidence radiating off you. Looking at the boys besides you, he could tell they felt the exact same.

Where one went, the other two were bound to follow.

Your bright smile faltered at a jest from Killua.

"You say the most bizarre things. Are you sure you're twenty something? You sound like you're eighty-five."

"I do not, you little ghoul! It's called an 'expression.' Maybe you just need to spice up your vocabulary."

"I've got a few words in mind."

"What was that?"

"Guys stop. You're gonna scare Kite," Gon lectured, stepping between you and the small assassin.

"He's a big boy, he can take it. Ain't that right, Cinderella?" Your tone was teasing as you addressed him.

"Whatever this is," he made a gesture between you and Killua. "Do not rope me into."

You threw your head back and let out another bark of laughter while Killua stuck his tongue out at Kite.

The boy in green quickly bonking the back of his head with a "Be nice!"

It was then that Kite realized he was slowly being integrated into your small family.

For better or worse, he couldn't say yet.

-------------------------

"Hey, Y/n. I thought you said you weren't a fighter," Gon said after a bit of walking.

You all decided to tread a bit more carefully after the encounter with those Chimera Ants. Which unfortunately meant going a little slower.

"I said I didn't fight, not that I couldn't." You responded.

"Why don't you? It'd be a lot more helpful if you did," Killua asked.

"It's complicated..." You hesitated for a moment.

Was now really the time to talk about it? You couldn't sense any incoming danger. The feeling of malice not as intense in this area.

Maybe just this once.

You couldn't hide things from them forever.

"...When you make a promise to a friend, you keep it. No matter what. And when I was little, I swore I would never fight or kill another human being again."

An alarm bell rang out in Killua's head. 'Again.' What did you mean by that? Why did you say 'again?' Like you had done it before. It didn't make sense, you hated blood. Hell you were freaking out 30 minutes ago.

But why was it starting to make sense. Your ability was tracking, people specifically. Why had you needed to learn that?

You'd mentioned something about perfecting your nen at five years old. Were you killing that young? It would explain why you never made a noise while you slept.

Was that why you were unfazed when he told you he was an assassin?

Because you knew what it was like?

No. You couldn't be. Assassins killed for money to make a living. And you had nothing as far as he knew. They were also raised to be heartless.

You were not heartless.

Even if you were like him, did it really matter?

No

No it did not.

Because who you were now was the person who kept him and Gon safe. Who fussed over the little things but never underestimated them. And whatever you were at five or even a little older than that shouldn't have mattered.

You were Y/n with nothing after or any of those messy labels in front.

However, the promise you made was against humans, not ants. You didn't have to hold back against these things. You didn't have to worry about an actual person.

"But the Chimera Ants aren't human."

"But they act human. They feel human."

Right, because you could sense them. It was hard to remember sometimes that you could feel everything around you. Could you feel his earlier apprehension?

"You defended Gon, though." Killua argued. He just couldn't see the issue when you had already 'fought.'

"It goes a little something like this, okay? If I need to step in, I'll step in to protect the ones closest to me. Which at the moment is you two." Your eyes momentarily softened as you turned around to face everybody.

You were never a fan of leading.

"But promise or not, I don't like hurting people or anything that resembles a person. I don't like fighting and the damage that comes with it. I don't like spilling blood or feeling it on me. I despise taking lives and those who enjoy doing so."

More things were starting to fall in place for Kite as he listened to you. It made a little more sense now why you were holding back. Why you had sworn on your nen. It made him respect you that much more. To make such a meaningful promise at such a young age and to keep it well into adulthood. To value your morals regardless of what the limits you placed on yourself dictated.

He didn't like killing either, not doing so unless absolutely necessary. And even when his hand was forced, most were pointless. Only happening because of the fault of someone else. Like the foxbear that had attacked Gon all those years ago.

The boy didn't know, but it was something that should have been avoided.

Now you and your morals were different. You didn't fight, which was news to him. He thought you hung back because you trusted in the boys' strength. And when you'd broken that creature's arm, it looked very much intentional. But now it made sense.

'I didn't mean to do that.'

You didn't mean to engage like that. You did not mean to break its arm. To cause that much damage. You probably meant to stop it the same way you stopped him back in the Aizan Continent.

Give a warning with no real bite to it.

You didn't kill, or at least hadn't in some while. Meaning you'd disarmed people successfully and either knocked them out or stopped flights from happening altogether.

And his instincts told him it was the latter.

Your resolve and cold glare made a lot more sense now. Your uninterested but intimidating demeanor made sense.

You were done fighting in the NGL. You'd proven enough, so long as you could find the Chimera Ant queen, Kite and the boys would do all the heavy lifting. He wouldn't force you to add another pointless kill to your credit.

But as noble as your words sounded, you knew they were from a place of selfishness. If you fought, you would lose your nen, which was why it was a last resort. If you saw blood, you would panic and become useless. If you killed, it meant you were just like them.

Fear was why you didn't fight. A fear to save your own skin and keep the consequences from it at bay.

You were not a good person.

And if you had said that out loud, the one who would disagree the most would be Gon.

Because right now, he was staring up at you with nothing but admiration. The cause for it wasn't just your stance on fighting, it was your reasoning for doing so.

He loved you for keeping your word to your friend. To potentially value it over your life. No matter the disadvantage it put you in.

And he was sure you loved him and Killua back from the way you went against it to keep them safe.

It meant you valued them just as much as you valued that promise you've probably kept for years. They were just as important.

Gon didn't like it either, when people would kill and feel no remorse for it. He also didn't like when others had no compassion for their friends in battle. He didn't like death to be what determined the end of a fight. A life should never be what settled it.

However, these things weren't human. They most likely wouldn't have the same values. But you held them to the same ones regardless. And he admired you for that.

You didn't need to push yourself anymore. He and Killua would take care of the ants. And if they couldn't, then they would get Kite to help. He did seem to really like you after all. He said he wouldn't help any of you, but the moment you were in danger, he had stepped up without hesitation.

It was funny in a way, how Killua thought you wouldn't care about them just because of a small crush. If the way you had been so proud of them was anything to go by, then they would be just fine.

You deserved to have someone look after you the same way you did them. You deserved someone who could make you just as happy as you made them.

And by Gon's standards, Kite was a decent fit. At least for now, but he'd be watching. Not with as much scrutiny as Killua, but watching nonetheless.

----------------

Your steps faltered as the stench of decay once again reached your nose. It must've been the fifth massacre you've come across today. After the third time you emptied your stomach's contents, you opted for wandering around with your eyes closed. Meaning, Kite was the one now leading with you and the boys following. Occasionally asking for your input when he wasn't sure which trail to go after.

He was also surprisingly understanding and sweet during the ordeal. You figured after his 'You'll just be in my way' comment he would have pushed for you to leave.

Instead he had offered you water.

"You'll dehydrate at this rate. And right now, we need you focused. We can't risk being caught off guard again. Take small sips, we'll refill at the next lake."

He had let you take breaks and gather yourself before moving on. An air of professionalism and worry combined was the way you would describe it.

You were sure the sun had long set by now. Everything was quiet. Eerily so now that you couldn't feel any people. The silence being interrupted by an out loud observation from Kite.

"This is horrible...We could have found them by the stench."

The question of 'why' rang out in your head.

Why kill all these people and leave them there?

You thought the ants only killed for food. To feed the queen.

So why were they just leaving the bodies here?

No

Why were they mutilating them?

You'd given up on using your little spy glass to see. It was all the same anyways. Broken homes, blood, and Chimera Ant tracks that ended up leading to nowhere. And now that bodies were in the mix, the things that would potentially be highlighted would take an even bigger mental toll on whoever saw it. You were sure of that.

The boys were becoming desensitized as it was. No more shock or anger from them anymore. Just dread as the number of casualties increased. This new group of deceased certainly wasn't helping their case.

And by the smell of it, this might've been the worst all four of you had come across.

"Look at this," Killua called out.

There was a sound of something clanky being picked up. Guns if you had to guess. Loaded ones at that.

"So I guess this is the hidden side of the NGL, huh?"

"That's right," Kite confirmed.

It was just as you predicted: crime bosses. Or at least their guards. You hoped their death was quick and not as barbaric as the first body you came across.

"Scratch that one off the bingo card," you muttered.

Knowing your luck, you would indeed come across drugged up ants wielding weapons.

How fun.

"Guys!" Gon's voice snapped you from your thoughts.

You faced the direction his voice was coming from. He seemed further up than the rest of you. Distant but not out of reach. There was probably a sturdy cliff in front.

"You're gonna want to see this."

Sure enough, you were met with rock. Goddamnit. Climbing would be a struggle in your current condition.

But you had scaled up a crater before. It shouldn't be that bad as long as you focused your nen towards your feet and hands.

"You need help?" Killua's voice sounded from next to you.

"I should be fine as long as I'm not caught off guard. Don't worry about me, okay?"

You could feel uncertainty from him despite your reassurance.

"Okay. But you should know, there's a few bodies on the way up."

Your mood soured instantly.

"Of course there is. Damn," you grumbled.

Nothing was going to go your way today, was it?

When you got out of here, the first thing you would do is drown away your sorrows with a pile of sweets and take the longest nap of your life. You deserved that much for all the shit the NGL was putting you through.

"We unfortunately don't have much time to spare."

It was a brief warning from the silver haired hunter before you felt yourself being hoisted up.

You flailed slightly at the unexpected contact. Almost opening your eyes from the shock. You could faintly hear a 'Hey! You can't just pick them up like that!!!' from Killua as hands guided your arms around something.

Was that his neck???

"What're you doing?" There was a slight panic in your tone.

He wouldn't.

There's no way.

"Assisting you up. The way you are now, you won't even make it halfway without slipping. The last thing we need right now is for someone to get injured."

Crass as his words were, there was no denying the concern that littered his aura. Whether it was for you or about completing the expedition, you couldn't really tell.

You tensed once more feeling him move. The wind hitting your face let you know he was moving up quickly. Killua's aura trailing behind as Gon's became closer.

"Relax. If you let go, I won't pick you back up."

It was a warning with no real intention to follow through. And you were briefly reminded that he could once again see you. That he could probably sense just about everything going on in your head.

Your disgust. Your panic. Your ever growing hatred for the NGL. But most of all-

How drained you'd become since that first body.

How your focus started wavering until you just about lost it completely.

And you hated how small it made you feel. The position he'd chosen to carry you in didn't help. Bridal style like you were some fragile little thing. Both of those combined had caused you to verbalize your frustrations.

"I'm not a baby, you ass. I could have made my way up by myself."

But despite your aggravation, Kite's demeanor shifted into something a little softer.

"Like I said, we can't afford to waste anymore time if we can help it. Besides, you're struggling enough as it is."

All of your frustrations seemed to have vanished for a minute, surprised by the softness of his tone.

Why did he care?

Why was he worried about you?

Why had he gone through the trouble of helping you so much?

And why did it have your heart beating a little faster in your chest because of it?

No

Nononono

You were not

You couldn't be

You weren't

You weren't

You refused to believe

But the tightness in your chest and the longing in your aura begged to differ.

You liked Kite

A lot more than you should've.

And the second he set you down, you put a bit of distance between you. Now was not the time to be having these kinds of revelations. The ants came first.

The boys safety came first.

You felt Killua's aura join shortly after. A small hand gripped yours tightly. And if your eyes had been open, you would have seen the upset expression on the small assassin's face. You also would have seen a brow raise at your sudden discomfort from Gon.

He temporarily brushed it off. He'd ask you about it later, for now...

He pointed towards a group of buildings made of rock. Dozens of little lit up windows scattered throughout.

"Is this the place where the Chimera Ants nest?" He asked.

"No, it's not. They don't normally dig holes like this. They build their nests with mud and droppings."

You had forgotten Kite was Beast Hunter. He was in his complete element here, being able to use his previous knowledge to his complete advantage.

So whatever these structures were, (that you could not see at the moment) they were probably manmade. And since you couldn't feel any people...

You shook your head as to rid the thought from your brain. If you kept thinking like that you were gonna break down.

"Let's go, we'll see when we're inside." Kite instructed.

For the first time in years, a feeling of dread washed over you.

Something bad was going to happen. Something so horrible that your body was struggling to prepare you for it.

----------------------

You let your eyes adjust to the dimness of the building before continuing forward. You figured most of the henchmen had been killed outside, meaning there shouldn't be any bodies for you to worry about here.

You should be able to focus for now.

Lacking your previous drive, you were left trailing behind the boys. Your mind justifying it was better this way. Kite would be able to sense any danger in front and you would sense what was in back.

But even that did little to soothe your growing anxiety towards the situation.

Your previous 100 meter radius had dwindled down to around 60 with your mental and physical fatigue. It was okay, but not good enough.

"Now, we don't know when or from where they'll strike, so don't let your guard down. And try not to let what you may see affect you."

You knew that warning was meant for the boys, however, it felt like that last part was directed towards you. Which you appreciated, but it wouldn't really help all that much.

Especially not with goosebumps rising on your arms. And why exactly? You didn't know. Maybe it had something to do with why the air was suddenly thicker in here. Why the atmosphere felt a little more sinister than it should've.

"Yeah, you don't have to worry. We understand," Killua assured.

"The other Chimera Ant completely concealed his presence."

And the small assassin quickly remembered that you sensed that one too. You could see what they couldn't and if you weren't so freaked out by blood, you would have been able to warn them.

So this might be their only chance to search for anything before you caught sight of another bloodied body.

"Can you feel anyone, Y/n?" Killua asked.

You stood still for a second and allowed your ability to search. There were three blimps of life right next to you. One jittery, one dark, and another calm. All being overcome by a feeling of unease.

You focused your eyes a little further than that. Five more little sparks standing still. As if waiting.

"I'm getting five. But I can't tell if they're people or ants." You answered at last.

They were also far enough that you couldn't get a proper read on their strength. However, you could still read what they were feeling.

"Just five? Are you sure?" Gon questioned, instinctively inching towards you.

You nodded.

"Two of them are extremely scared. They feel...."

Broken

Like they had their humanity stripped away from them. An emptiness with a carnal fear. A want for the pain to stop.

You did not like this feeling. It felt icky and dark. So incredibly gross it made you want to turn around.

Could it be possible the ants were torturing people?

But why?

The potential reason made a sick feeling settle in your stomach.

"Y/n?" A worried call of your name before a small hand reached for yours.

You looked down and were met with honey colored eyes full of concern. It would do no good scaring him with what you just sensed. The best thing right now was to keep moving forward and hope you'd made a faulty assessment. (But you've never been wrong before.)

"We should get moving... Just remember whatever happens here, it's not your fault."

'It's not your fault if you can't save everyone' was what you meant to say. Because while you could physically help those two people, you couldn't help them live past what they'd already experienced. And the more you stood in one place, the harder it was to keep your mind from coming up with gruesome scenarios of what was about to happen.

So you moved forward, two pairs of worried eyes following you. Both trying to take in your words.

"It's not your fault."

A statement usually meant for comfort that had somehow sounded more foreboding than anything. Rather than relax them, one felt panicked. The other anxious.

"Keep moving." Kite instructed, having sensed the duo starting to lag behind.

Although harsh, the words gave them the encouragement to snap out of it and rush after you. Yet they both couldn't shake the same question from their minds.

What exactly had you sensed?

------------------------

You entered what you assumed was the center of the large structure. Various boxes and broken chemical vats scattered throughout. Safe to assume this was the drug factory. Maybe the two auras you sensed were just druggies on a bad trip?

There was also dried blood splattered here and there. You tried to ignore the queasy feeling once again building up in your stomach. You thought you would have desensitized some by now. Guess you overestimated yourself.

"Wait a minute, is this-" Gon started. Having realized just what the giant vats might've been used for.

"Yes. This is the dark underbelly of the NGL," Kite answered.

On the bright side, the ants had gotten rid of a major crime boss.

Yeah, no. There was no bright side. This country was just a terrible mess from the beginning and you were starting to doubt even coming at all.

"It's a drug factory," Killua surmised.

"Yeah, so don't be picking up what you're not supposed to. Got it, gremlin?" You warned.

The last thing you wanted for your boys to get sick messing around with what they shouldn't have.

And while Killua normally would have given you pushback to get on your nerves, right now he was relieved. You were still looking after them. Still fussing over them and making a big deal out of nothing.

You were still okay, or as okay as you could be right now. You were still here.

"I won't. Geez, you'd think me and Gon were babies from the way you treat us." He mumbled out the last part, but he could tell you heard it from the small flick you gave to his forehead.

"What type of drug did you say was manufactured here? It's not like crack is it?" You addressed the silver haired hunter who almost lost his composure from your bluntness.

"It's a type of pill called DD and it's mass produced right here," Kite started to explain before elaborating further.

"The hottest new drug on the mainland. It's made from bira trees. There must be a field close by. Ironic given their status as conservationist, right?"

"Not surprising considering how they ran things back at the border. The people in charge don't give a damn what happens here as long as it makes them money." You responded.

It was just the way things were. The rich and powerful taking advantage of the unaware poor and weak. You had known the minute you stepped foot here what things would be like.

"They're making more than just drugs. Look," Killua called out.

"They're the same ones from earlier." He picked up what looked like another automatic. The sight made you frown as another unwanted memory bubbled up to the surface.

"So how does that ability of yours work, cookies and cream?"

"Quit calling me that, gap tooth! And it works by my nen locking onto a target before I fire. Then I manipulate the ammo to follow after. The result: a bullet that never misses!"

"So how come there's holes everywhere except the bullseye?"

"Shut up!"

You hadn't thought about him in a long time. But considering his entire ability revolved around guns, it made perfect sense.

You hoped he was doing well.

"If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say only the leaders of the NGL know the truth," Kite speculated.

"The other community members probably genuinely identify with the environmental message."

"To a cultish degree if they were so willing to execute people over it," you added.

Again, execute, if you may emphasize. Not give a warning or arrest. Execution.

You blamed it on a mob mentality. Of which had ostracized you as a child.

Didn't mean you couldn't respect them for living this way though. It truly was admirable to willingly live isolated from the world.

"This facility, it's the core of the NGL underground, isn't it? So if there isn't anybody in here besides those five 'people' then..." Killua started.

"That would suggest that the Chimera Ants have completely wiped out the underground, excluding a few stragglers. And that a bunch of amateurs with guns didn't stand a chance against them." Kite answered.

It was at that moment you started to sense movement. The five blips of aura slowly starting to approach.

"But what about their boss?" Gon asked.

"He either escaped or was eaten. Either way this is bad news." Kite shrugged off before tensing.

Something was coming this way.

Something that reeked of both bloodlust and fear.

Was this what you sensed when the four of you first arrived? It was no wonder why all your energy had drained in one go.

He held a hand up to signal silence from the boys as the enemy approached.

You also brought your guard back up, meeting his eye and nodding. A silent confirmation that you'd both sensed whatever heading this way wasn't good.

"They're slowly approaching through the middle tunnel." Kite's voice was low as he spoke. Trying not to alert the enemy to your presence just yet.

You stalked forward, footsteps so silent it was like you weren't there. Try as you might though, you couldn't slow your rapidly beating heart. You were too consumed in the ickiness of those auras to try.

You couldn't help but notice they were more spread out than you had originally thought. Three in the middle with the other two separated on either side.

Your mouth grew dry as the anxiety from the presences besides you flared.

"There are more in the left and right tunnels." Kite informed the boys.

And you were very much grateful for it because right now, you didn't think you could speak through your focus. Your eyes searching the darkness for any potential attack. Not wanting to be unguarded again like with the first ant.

"What's your approximate search radius? Is it as good as Y/n's?" Killua questioned Kite.

If there was a chance, even a small one that you'd get a break, it was best to take it. He didn't like seeing you so drained and fidgety.

He didn't want you to keep forcing yourself.

"Unfortunately not. My radius is everything within 45 meters." The silver haired hunter answered.

"Forty-five? So a little less than half of theirs." Gon concluded.

To be fair, you were working with about 60 right now. It would probably dwindle down to zero by the end of the night.

"But depending on my mental and physical state, I'm able to increase that by a few meters... Here they come."

On cue, a sort of rattling sound filled the space. Along with whimpers and cries. The feeling of fear skyrocketing as a figure made its way into the light.

You couldn't tell if you verbalized your horror or not. If you'd let out a gasp or noise of terror. But you did know that you immediately extended your arm outward to prevent the boys from moving forward.

To try and shield them from the sight.

The auras that had been so broken, so devoid of humanity, so driven to the brink of insanity, belonged to humans. Two humans stripped of everything but the skin on their backs.

Two humans being treated like slaves.

Like animals.

Bound by their necks to another monster trailing behind them.

You could tell you were shaking as they inched forward on their hands and knees. You own eyes wide and panicked. Trying to wake you from whatever nightmare your mind conjured up this time.

Because this

This couldn't be real.

"Keep it down you two!" The Chimera Ant lectured before yanking the chain that bound two humans up, effectively choking them.

You needed to get out of here.

You needed to leave.

This was a mistake.

"Who the hell are you?"

Had that thing barley noticed you four?

"How dare you intrude on my turf!"

Your unoccupied hand clenched.

"Help us!!! You gotta help us!!!" One of the men begged.

"Shut your damn mouth, Spot! You're a dog remember!?!?"

You saw the ant lifting it's front hoove up. You turned your head and covered your ears as fast as you could.

The resounding 'crunch' being muffled for you.

This was a mistake.

You felt Gon's aura spike with a horrified disbelief. He shouldn't have to see this.

They both shouldn't be here.

"Oops. I didn't mean to do that." It chuckled out. Shaking its leg to rid it of the gore.

Its words mirroring your earlier ones.

The only difference was, this thing felt no remorse at all for its actions. It felt proud.

"Well whatever. I was getting bored with them anyway. Guess I'll get rid of Rover here, too."

At that you snapped your head up, unable to do anything but watch as the other man tried to plead for his life. To play desperately the part he was given in the hopes he would be spared.

"When you beg like that... It just makes me wanna kill you even more."

The ant went to raise it's hoove up once more. And knowing what was about to happen, both you and Gon tried to jump forward.

"NO DONT!"

"STOP!"

But the both of you were pulled back by Kite. Who admittedly had to use a little more force with you to keep you from leaving.

"Let me go!" Gon struggled against the grip on his wrist.

You, however, had kept still the moment he touched you. You'd been a fool just now. And like always, Kite had made the right decision. You shouldn't have been so careless. You didn't know what these new ants were capable of, and you weren't in any state to do anything about the current situation.

Your judgement had been clouded by your own fear. Your own desperation to prevent another death from happening in front of you.

You were such a disgrace.

"Don't move carelessly. There's more than one enemy here. And they want you to rush toward them." Kite lectured.

If you were in your right state of mind, you would have thanked him for being so levelheaded. For being able to step in before you and Gon had gotten hurt acting recklessly. For being able to explain 'why' and effectively stopping Gon's struggling.

But before you could start calming yourself down, you heard something.

Laughter.

Joyous, sinister laughter.

So loud and boisterous it bounced off the cave walls.

Your head hung low, but even though you couldn't see them, you could feel two more auras approach. Both as evil as the first.

"Now, bye-bye," The first ant cooed down to its captive.

"HELP ME!"

You flinched at the sound of bone breaking. The force being too much for the skull under it, sending specks of blood your way.

"Don't look away!" Kite's harsh words were directed at Gon, who was also having trouble stomaching the sight in front of him.

"If they shoot, you won't be able to see the projectile."

And even though you agreed with his reasoning, you disagreed about it being applied to the boys.

They shouldn't have to be forced to see this.

They were just kids.

They shouldn't have to be desensitized to dead bodies. They shouldn't be used to feeling nothing at the sight in front of them.

Your entire body had started shaking. But something about your reaction was different this time. It wasn't nausea coursing through your veins, but anger.

So much disgust riddled with rage that you trembled to keep your body at bay.

You promised.

You promised.

But all your sympathy and restraint had vanished along with the man's life in front of you.

Don't do it.

Because if you did, then it was all over.

If you lost control of your aura again, this new life you were starting to live would be over.

Endure it.

Endure the neverending feeling of bloodlust.

Endure the fact that this was all real and these monsters had committed an irredeemable act of violence.

Endure the pain from your palms being inflicted by your own nails in an attempt to keep your last shred of sanity.

"Why can't we let them live? Why can't we just leave?"

"Because Father said so. You know better than anyone else we can't hesitate. We have to finish the job we were given."

A harsh stomp combined with a booming crunch as blood poured from what once was someone's head.

"You've become soft, Y/n."

But all the young child could focus on was the never ending stream of crimson that inched towards them. Briefly touching the tips of their boots before they jumped back. As if touched by fire.

You remembered now.

Why you despised the sight of blood.

Your shaky figure did not go unnoticed by the silver haired hunter.

Who felt every bit of your inner turmoil radiate off you.

Unfortunately, there was nothing any of you could do to save that man. He was a goner from the start. And now that you had completely lost all your focus, he would need to step up for the boys. Just while you were temporarily out of commission.

And then you would need to leave. This was clearly too much for you. You'd done enough. You'd gotten them this far.

"I've decided," The head ant started.

"From now on, you four are all gonna be my new dogs."

It was at that moment you finally broke. All warmth, all barriers that had been broken down were gone. The tired circles under your eyes worse than they had ever been.

But it was your eyes themselves that had changed drastically. They were cold. So unbelievably dark and devoid of the brightness they once possessed.

So numb and empty.

"They've always been aggressive, but consuming malicious humans has had an effect on them. And it's made them even more evil." Kite explained.

And while both boys tensed even more at the news, you didn't react. Didn't nod in agreement or move. Just stared down with that empty look and hands clenched by your side.

"What do you mean?" Gon asked.

"Phagogenesis, right?" Killua responded.

"If we don't deal with them here, there's no telling how many more people will be killed."

The three auras next to you increased in output, becoming defensive.

They were going to fight, weren't they?

"Go! Capture them!" The head ant commanded its lackies.

You shouldn't be here.

It was dangerous.

"I'll take the one in the back. The ones rushing at us will go to you two. Y/n, it's best you stay back for now." Kite ordered.

The thought crossed your mind that he was doing a great job stepping into the mentor role. But it was drowned out by your more panicky thoughts. The ones that were begging you to leave while you still had some semblance of control.

But you couldn't just leave Gon and Killua here. You couldn't just run away and hope for the best. You couldn't be a coward.

You had to see this through.

Just for a little while longer.

Both boys spared a worried glance towards you. Wanting to stay by your side until they were sure you were okay. However, the Chimera Ants charging towards them made that idea impossible.

So reluctantly, both agreed to Kite's terms.

"Okay. Make sure nothing happens to them."

It was a light warning from Gon. Because while he trusted the silver haired hunter, he didn't trust the ants. They didn't play fair, and right now, you weren't all there to see their tricks. He didn't want to see you get hurt.

"Right, but you better keep them safe."

And Killua decided this would be his test. If Kite could protect you, then he would stop heckling him. Your happiness meant a lot, but your safety meant even more. If this guy could do that much, then he was alright in the small assassin's book.

"Don't hesitate. Fight to kill." A last warning from Kite as the boys charged forward and lead the ants away.

At that, you finally raised your head up to assess the situation. Killua had moved to the left, a mosquito type creature following after him. Gon was to the right alongside what you guessed was a different type of bug Chimera Ant. Most likely a centipede given all the arms it had. In front of you was some centaur-esque creature. Glaring you and Kite down with anticipation. (Your mind creating a mental blockage around the two broken bodies.)

You needed a distraction right now. Watching the boys fight should do the trick. It should be able to help ground you. So you took a deep breath and got into a comfortable crouching position. One that helped clear your head when you were smaller.

The taller male eyed you from his peripheral but said nothing. You were standing down, but not letting up your guard. You should be fine.

You directed your attention to Gon. Watching as the ant gave a barrage of punches, each being blocked by a more skilled Gon. And when the creature went to give its signature attack, it was left confused as the boy vanished. Only for him to reappear and give a punch of his own to its spine.

And like Kite instructed, Gon didn't hesitate. He summoned nen into his fist, charging up his attack.

A shriek of laughter grabbed your attention from the other side of the factory. The mosquito ant was taking dives around Killua, using the ability to fly to its advantage.

You felt Killua's aura darken. Becoming intense and threatening as the ant went to charge in again. Its arms being ripped to shreds by his quick movements and augmented hand.

Killua kept at it, destroying it's limbs up to the shoulder. His speed and precision causing a visual distortion that made his arms resemble snakes.

You would have been proud if you were in the right state of mind.

The ant retaliated by shooting out a stinger from its mouth. Killua dodged it easily, but wasn't in the clear quite yet. With him distracted, the ant shot out a second stinger from behind, piercing his back.

The ant cheered triumphantly as he fell.

But you still felt Killua's aura going strong. And you knew he was immune to poison thanks to his batshit crazy family.

So it didn't surprise you when he leapt back up and twisted the Ant's neck around. You flinched at the sound. It surprised you momentarily when the ant kept talking. Like it didn't just have its neck snapped.

These things really weren't human, were they?

Making sure to finish what he started, Killua once again manipulated his hand and made one slash towards the Ant's head.

Blue blood sprayed out this time.

You might be able to stomach that.

Killua turned to you, expecting a 'Good job, gremlin!' Instead he was met with cold eyes that shifted direction back towards Gon.

You always praised them after a fight.

You always cheered them on.

So what was this?

This emptiness in your eyes that felt a little too similar to the ones on Greed Island when he asked about that girl.

You needed space and time to think. Then you'd be back to your old self.

Right?

The centaur ant taunted its living subordinate, making a feeling of unease consume it. The ant stood still, as if in thought. Then a new feeling of confidence came from it.

Your view quickly became obscure by the head ant who radiated the most bloodlust. Kite's aura shifted into something protective from next to you as the ant approached.

"Hey, we should get this started soon, huh? Since clearly one of you has nothing better to do."

Seems you were also sensing cockiness.

"Wait a little longer," Kite dismissed. You figured he was also invested in how the fights between the boys would go.

"Screw that! It's not like either of you have a choice anyway!" It bellowed.

"You're in my way. Move...or I'll make you suffer." You at last lifted your head up to address the ant. Your warning causing the creature to meet your glare.

And in your eyes he saw himself die a thousand times over. A thousand ways you would torture him before letting him perish. The eyes of a killer, of a predator that knew its prey stood no chance.

But the thing that scared him the most was your scent. Imbedded in your very being was the stench of blood. He had heard his comrade, Hagya, say once that a true predator, a true threat would have killed so much that the stench of blood would have stained their very soul.

If Hagya was right, then you were a very dangerous Rare. But Yuunju was not a feeble weakling. He would defeat you and make you his new dog. Maybe sick you on your friends for even putting the thought that he should be scared of you in his head.

"You don't scare me!"

"Would you like me to?"

Your cold eyes pierced its very soul. It took a step back as you stood up. You disappeared and reappeared behind the creature, situating yourself back down between the starting fight and Gon's.

He held his breath as you spoke.

"Don't get in my way again. You're not worth breaking the promise I've kept for 13 years."

Yuunju could not beat you. He knew that now. You were too dangerous for even the strongest squadron leaders. But-

If he could kill one of your companions, that might scare you enough to let down your guard. He might be able to have an opening. The question was, who should he kill?

The answer was obvious and right in front of him.

"You," The creature pointed its finger at Kite.

"Will be my opponent. Now, let me see what you've got!"

Kite had watched your exchange with the Chimera Ant with a small frown on his face. He knew you could be intimidating. He witnessed it firsthand along with the cold resolve in your eyes.

But this...

This was not you.

Your presence had never been this cruel. It had never felt so dark.

You were not a malicious person, but right now your demeanor alone had put the fear of god into that Chimera Ant.

He didn't like this.

He thought he didn't like it when you were upset, but right now... He would take that over whatever this was. He would take your snarky comments and cold shoulder any day if it meant he'd never get to see your eyes so devoid of their usual fire and mirth.

"Hurry up before I change my mind!"

Kite let out a tired sigh of his own at this Chimera Ant's persistence. He took a familiar fighting stance. The one he used during your first encounter with a Chimera Ant. Aura becoming something a little more intimidating.

"If you insist."

And you couldn't help but shift your attention towards them, especially when the ant started to radiate weariness. Besides, the other one was the weakest you'd come across today. Gon would be able to beat it easily.

If this was the best the Chimera Ants had, taking down the queen would be a walk in the park.

"Tell me, why are you here?" Kite questioned.

It probably was a good idea to probe these guys for answers. However, you doubt he would be able to get anything out of it. This thing seemed very stubborn and hotheaded. Not a great candidate for answers.

"Huh? This is my castle. A king doesn't need to have a reason to be in his own castle," The ant answered.

Some king it was. Being a little bitch and using brute force to steal a drug factory. Too weak to build up its own empire from scratch. Or perhaps lazy from the way it sent its lackeys to battle first.

"There are many chemicals here that emit strong odors. I would expect you'd want to avoid this place."

A fair point actually. Why would this thing stay in a place that was filled with hazardous materials? Risk inhaling something it shouldn't just for cover.

But if you were being realistic, it was probably because this place was abandoned before these ants got here. It probably let the others do all the work before taking over.

"Shut up! I happen to like it here!" The ant argued.

Liar

"Where's the leader of the NGL? What happened?"

"Beats me. I figure he's probably already inside the queen's belly."

The creature then let out amused laughter.

This thing was lucky it wasn't you who it was fighting.

"I'll build my own kingdom starting here. Then I'll take over the whole world!" The creature monologued.

How pathetic.

How funny actually. This thing couldn't even stare you in the eye, but it planned to take over the world?

Seems Kite was also fed up with this ant, judging by his next words.

"That's impossible for a vulgar bastard who likes to amuse himself by making humans into dogs."

Was that anger slowly rising to the surface? You didn't know he could get mad.

"Is that so?" The ant started.

"Well, you're right! I can't wait to strip you and your friend down and put collars around your necks!"

The creature rushed towards Kite, aiming a punch that was quickly dodged. The silver haired hunter jumping to the side. Taking precise steps back, looking completely unfazed by the ant's attempt.

"BASTARD!" The creature let out a growl before charging forward again.

This time using its hooves to attack. And like before, Kite easily evaded them. Dodging with a spin that gave him momentum to slam his leg against the Ant's head.

It caught you off guard how pretty he looked. How elegant and swift his movements were. Each step being calculated in such a way it almost looked like he was dancing. Silver hair swaying with his movements, making the sight all the more ethereal. It was such a stark contrast to the uncoordinated way the boys fought.

He truly was a beautiful fighter. His posture relaxed and yet it left no room for any openings. This ant was clearly no match for him. But it didn't seem to get that.

It tried to go in for another punch, only for Kite to use the extended arm to tip himself over. Landing directly on the centaur ant's back. It looked back at him dumbfounded. The shock being replaced by anger as Kite finally summoned his ability.

"Hey! Get down here!" Snapping out of its thoughts, the ant tried to swing once again.

It would never learn.

Kite stepped down and skidded slightly back. The little clown summoned from his nen glared at him.

"What is the deal!?!? You only summon me when you're in trouble! You'd better watch it!"

The way it moved around was almost cartoon-ish. Moving side to side and spinning in the air. It reminded you of the little trick you learned for her when you were smaller.

"I don't have time for idle chit chat. Just hurry it up," Kite dismissed. Like he was arguing with a child.

"You know what your problem is? You're too impatient!" Crazy Slots chastised before the numbers started rolling in its mouth.

"Are you messing with me!?!" The ant had grown tired of waiting around. Of seeing this mockery being thrown in his face during combat.

"Forget about making you my dog, I'm gonna kill you!" The ant charged forward one last time, intending to make it count.

"Four!"

"Really? That's a bad spin."

"What did you just say!?! I don't have any bad spins, ungrateful bastard!!!"

For the first time that night, you cracked a small smile. It was a little amusing that his own ability gave him shit. And that he argued back with it. No wonder he put up with you so well.

But your enjoyment had quickly ended as the ant closed in.

"YOU'RE DEAD!"

Kite aimed the carbine up and fired. The singular shot ringing through the cave. That was all it took as the Chimera Ant collapsed, a bullet going right through its skull.

You shuffled to the side to avoid the small droplets of blue blood that came your way.

It was just ink. Just squid ink. Nothing more, nothing less.

You looked up, meeting a very concerned look from Kite. You ignored it. You didn't need any sympathy. You turned your head back in Gon's direction who still hadn't made his move yet.

But he wasn't stalling. He was waiting for the ant to attack first. And attack it did. Leaping towards him with its arms outstretched before tucking the right side in.

But whatever it had planned, it couldn't have predicted Gon's next attack.

"Jan-Ken-Scissors!"

The nen bottled up in his fist outstretched into what looked like a sword. He clutched his wrist and slashed down, cutting the ant in half at an angle.

Your eyes widened at the new move. The furthest he got on Greed Island was paper. And even then, he couldn't seem to get it down. He must've barley thought to try this one out.

God what was he thinking!?!

What if it didn't work!!?!

Never one to stick to certainties, was he? But you'd throw him a bone. You were too tired to lecture right now. You were also dreading what came next. But it was for their own good.

You couldn't stay here any longer.

Like Killua, Gon was expecting you to jump up and either say how proud you were, or completely chew him out for trying a new attack in the middle of a fight.

He was expecting you to be you. What he was not expecting was for you to simply stand up and cross your arms. To look right past instead of at him. It was like you didn't care anymore.

He froze as he sensed movement from behind him.

It all happened so fast. The ordeal only lasting a minute. A minute that stretched into an eternity.

A loud shriek filled the air before it was cut short. The atmosphere in the air became impossibly thick. There was a 'thud' and the sound of the cement breaking before he mustered the courage to turn around.

Never had you looked so wrong. So not like yourself. But that wasn't the issue. You see, the problem was your aura that had been suppressed for so long, was finally pouring out.

The ant that tried to kill Gon just now, was under the heel of your shoe. It didn't even see you move towards it. Couldn't even fathom that the pain coursing through its body had been from you kicking it down with an unrestrained force. It was sure whatever was left of its spine was gone. Its head pinned beneath your foot, choking on whatever this feeling was that radiated off of you.

It was like nothing Gon and Killua had ever felt before. Worse than Hisoka during the Hunter Exam. Worse than anything Illumi could produce. Worse than the nen Razor summoned on Greed Island.

And it was coming from you.

This wasn't you.

This couldn't be you.

The person looking down at the Chimera Ant like it was beneath them. Like it was nothing. The cruelty behind your eyes made it impossible to tell it was you.

The force of your aura causing Gon to fall over and Killua to clutch at his neck. Both unable to fend off your Ren.

So evil it was actually suffocating them.

So dark that even with his own aura guarding him, Kite couldn't avoid the paralyzing effects.

And then you'd spoke.

Voice so harsh and unforgiving. Like you were mocking the creature beneath you.

"Would you like to see what your god looks like?"

'S M A S H'

Blue blood splattered all the way up to your knee. The warm liquid seeping into the thin fabric of your shoe. Touching your skin and pooling underneath the rest of the Ant's body as your aura swelled with an indescribable dark feeling.

"Don't pretend you don't enjoy it. I've seen you covered head to toe in crimson. You enjoy the feeling of blood on your skin. The way it seeps into your clothing and stains your hair. Having it caked onto you while presenting Father with your prize. Who are you trying to kid, little one?

You don't believe in mercy."

All at once the feeling disappeared. You looked down shakily at what you'd just done. The sound of your heart pounding in your ears the only thing you could hear as the ant twitched two more times before stilling. Dark blue spreading on the bottoms of your pant legs.

You fell back in a panic. Shuffling away on your hands and desperately kicking around your 'tainted' foot in the attempts to rid it of the soaked through shoe. Scooching back in a panic and mumbling 'Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!' like a mantra.

The blood wouldn't go away. It was stuck to you. Marking you and reminding you of what you just did. Staining your skin and following you in a murky trail.

A sick feeling settled in your stomach. Rising up and threatening to choke you. Your hands reached up and covered your mouth, tears brimming at the corners of your eyes as you willed the vile to go away. Pleading with your body to wake up. You'd seen enough.

Please just let this nightmare end already.

Please.

"Y/n?" Gon called out as he struggled to feet, finally being able to breathe after your Ren disappeared. Who didn't know what happened, but knew that you were not okay.

But even though you were looking directly at him, you didn't see him. All you could see was her. Brown eyes so light, they were almost gold. But they were filled with fear and uncertainty.

Having just witnessed you do the one thing you swore you'd never do again. Having felt the monsters you'd kept away from her. Because she wasn't like you. She shouldn't have seen you do that.

You didn't want her to stare at you with such disappointment and betrayal. A frown that told you she would never forgive you for this.

The eyes on your back were scorching. All of them watching you. Watching you crumble and disgrace their namesake.

Her figure approached you slowly and your mind went into a panic. You were not safe to be around. You'd hurt her. They would hurt her for being here when she wasn't supposed to.

"STAY AWAY!"

You'd made a swipe with your hand to stop her. To keep her back. But even though the darkness of your aura was gone, it was pouring out at an unregulated rate. Unable to stop it from applying to your movements.

Gon stood still in shock as the power from your unintentional slash approached. But before it could reach him, he was picked up and moved out of the way.

Kite had barely made it.

The ceiling and wall being sliced clean through. You would kill somebody at this rate. Somebody human. He realized now why you had been so adamant about holding back. About being scared of letting loose.

Because this was the result. Tonight had been too much for you. You'd finally reached your breaking point. He took a second to analyze your state.

You were breathing frantically with a purple hue covering your eyes. Your nen must've activated during your panic. Showing you something that they could not see. Perhaps altering your reality a bit.

That would explain why you lashed out at Gon. Because he knew that you would never attack either of those boys. You'd sooner die than do something like that.

But you weren't you right now.

"You two need to leave, now."

Both boys stared at him like they hadn't heard correctly. That what he just proposed was inconceivable.

"Are you kidding me!?!? No!!! We're not leaving them like this!!!" Killua protested.

Because even though he was scared, even though you had reminded him of his brother in that moment, he still loved you. And he wouldn't just abandon you because Kite said so.

"I don't care what you say! Y/n needs-!"

"Now!" It was the closest Kite had come to actually yelling at them.

And Gon hesitated before pulling Killua away. He wanted to help you, too. But the way you had looked at him, like you didn't recognize him, told him there was nothing they could do.

They needed to leave before you accidentally hurt them. But it wasn't because he was afraid of you. He would never fault you for something you had no control of at the moment. However, he knew that you would. You would never forgive yourself if you hurt them, even if it wasn't on purpose.

"Are you actually siding with him!?!" Killua struggled in Gon's grip, trying to turn around.

"Think. They don't recognize us right now. We're helping by not being in the way. How do you think they would feel if they accidentally hurt us?"

The small assassin had stopped struggling at once. Mulling over his best friend's words and knowing he was right. He gave one last look back before letting Gon guide him outside.

"Okay... But if he hurts them, I'll-"

"He won't. Believe it or not, Y/n isn't only important to us."

------------------------------------

The second the boys were out of ear shot, Kite turned to face you properly. You were going through some form of shock judging by the way you shook and backed yourself into a corner. This new side to you was also unrecognizable. Your fear came off from you in waves. Something you had never been up until now.

But just what was it that had frightened you to this point? The Chimera Ant almost getting Gon? No, that didn't seem likely with the way you were after restraining it.

Was it blood? Maybe seeing too much and actually feeling it on you had done it?

He'd give just about anything to know what was going on in that head of yours. For any clue that would help calm you down.

Unfortunately for you, Kite was not the best with these things.

Whenever one of his students was upset, it was usually the others that soothed them. His words could be cruel sometimes. Not coming out the way he would have liked, and they knew that. So he was never really sought after for comfort if something happened.

And the one time he tried, he ended up making it worse. Being nurturing was never really a necessity growing up, and living in that sewer for so many years only further stunted his emotional growth.

It was an understatement to say he had no idea how to approach you now. But he would try. It was better him than either of those boys who were more at risk of being accidentally hurt.

He took slow, heavy steps towards you. Trying his best to alert you to his presence to avoid frightening you more. But you didn't seem to hear them. And as he stood directly in front of you, you didn't seem to see him either.

Eyes still engulfed in your nen.

Touch might snap you out of it. Something real that you could focus on. Slowly, he started to extend his arm out to you. Willing you to take it and finally let your guard down.

However, the moment he reached out his hand to you, you flinched away and curled into yourself. Putting your arms in front of your face as if to shield yourself.

Like he was going to hit you.

"IM SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I PROMISE!"

His heart broke for you in that moment. The action reminding him of his time out on the streets. Fending off blows from angry vendors just to be able to eat. Body so used to being beaten down it naturally contorted into a position that would leave it the least injured.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I SWEAR! I SWEAR! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!"

But it was the frantic way you apologized that lead him to believe a very different conclusion about what happened to you.

Trying desperately to appease and look small.

Avoiding a punishment that would never happen.

So many broken pieces that just couldn't be put back together anymore. But he would try. And he sincerely hoped whoever did that to you was dead.

He crouched down to meet your huddled up form. Your eyes tightly closed and hands still up for protection. There were about two ways this could go. He would either successfully calm you down or be seriously injured trying.

He could make peace with both.

So as carefully as he could, he engulfed you in what he hoped was a comforting embrace. Immediately you had stilled. Your body tensing up but not lashing out.

Warmth was the first thing you were able to decipher. A warmth and light pressure that was overriding the fear little by little. Making your body start to lean into whatever had been wrapped around you. Craving the feeling and wanting more of it.

The next thing that hit you was a familiar scent you couldn't put your finger on just yet. The calming scent of a forest. Of pine and something a little sweeter. Something reminiscent of lilac. Your senses being flooded by the pleasant smell. One that your mind had perceived as comforting.

You took a deep breath twice before the nen around your eyes at last dispersed.

You were in the NGL. You were in the middle of a drug factory fighting ants. And one had almost killed your little brother. But you saved him.

And then you had gotten mad. So very mad at the fact that these things didn't have any sympathy. That they lacked feeling remorseful for their actions and how even though they were beat, still insisted on causing harm. Their bloodlust so unrelenting it had drained you of everything you had.

Then you'd broken your promise to her. The one set in stone with the exception to anything that wasn't human. The one that you would apply to any living thing because the two of you couldn't have perceived creatures like these to exist.

But she wasn't here.

They weren't here.

Your own nen visualization had tricked your already frantic mind. And now that it had been unsummoned, you could start to think clearly.

She hadn't been real. You knew she was gone. That there was no way for her to be here with you. But your mind loved to play the cruelest of tricks on you.

This feeling though, this exchange of warmth and the comforting scent that surrounded your very being, was real.

It only just occurred to you now that your vision was obscured by something.

No, someone.

And it finally clicked for you where the source of this comfort came from.

"Kite?" Your laxed hands against his chest had started to grip the fabric of his shirt.

"Yeah... Welcome back." His body had become more relaxed against yours, but the arms around you unconsciously pulled you a little closer.

He was here.

He was real.

A momentary relief before you started trembling again. Your boys weren't here. They had seen you be just as ruthless as those Chimera Ants. They'd felt the darkness of your aura that was never supposed to be out in the open again. That they probably thought was yours all the time. But it wasn't.

That wasn't your default and you'd swear it over and over until your throat was raw.

But you knew it wouldn't make much of a difference. They'd seen you at your worst. As a monster.

And then another horrific thought struck you. For those few moments you lost yourself, you'd become a beacon. A beacon for them.

You were such a fuckup.

Your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault your fault

You clutched desperately at the being in front of you. Eyes brimming with a wetness that you would not let fall. You didn't deserve to cry. You were the one who messed up. The one who deserved to suffer. You shouldn't even be accepting the kindness being offered to you right now. You didn't deserve it.

Kite frowned as your condition started to worsen again. You were more present, but your aura was still engulfed in an immense feeling of guilt. Eating away at your mental state. Your resolve keeping you from letting out your frustrations. Still trying to keep yourself together while you were rapidly unraveling.

You were shaking, but you weren't crying. Clutching his shirt so hard he was sure there would be small holes when you let go. And that was probably what you needed most right now.

To let everything go. Everything you've felt since you got here. Everything you'd been bottling up since before.

"It's okay. I've got you." He rested his head on top of yours. Voice as soft and encouraging as he could muster. Knowing you'd heard him from the way your trembling ceased.

"You don't have to hold it in any more, so do me a favor and let go. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?"

It must've been the way he said it, with such a fondness, with so much assurance. Like it was really okay for you to take this opportunity and just be small for once. To have someone help lighten the burdens you carried.

Or perhaps it had been the way his entire being engulfed yours. Creating a little bubble of safety where it was just the two of you. Where nobody else could see you finally break down.

And all at once the damn bursts. Your cries were silent, but they were still there. Clutching Kite impossibly closer. Wanting to be enveloped in his presence. Wanting the feeling of him to drown everything else out. All the terrors this night had shown you.

Letting him move a hand up to cradle your head forwards. Resting between the junction of his neck and shoulder as your tears flowed unrestrained for the first time in years.

The rational part of your brain screaming at you to pull yourself together and toughen up. That being this weak in front of others was bad.

But you couldn't help ignoring it. Instead, focusing on the fingers running through your hair in an attempt to soothe you. Letting you know that it truly was okay.

That the mental toll tonight had given you was justified. And you wanted to believe that, too. But you just couldn't. You could never justify putting everyone at risk because you were too stubborn to leave. Too stubborn to listen to the cues your body was giving you.

Your voice filled with mirth had never sounded as broken as it did when you finally spoke.

"I'm such a failure. I thought- I thought I could make it work. That things would be fine here. But I'm such a screw up. I never should have-"

The shakes coursing through your body were violent as you took a second to let out another silent sob.

Why had you still insisted on hiding.

"I never should have left that stupid game. I never should have come here. I never should have lost control like that."

But you wanted to foolishly believe you could rebuild your life up. That a life worth living with people worth living for was still possible.

"Now they're in danger and it's all my fault. I put them in danger because I was too stupid to just back out when I had the chance! What kind of idiot just ignores their own limits!"

And then your voice had quieted down once more. So low that if he wasn't right next to you, Kite wouldn't have heard it.

"They probably hate me."

There were so many things he could have said in that moment. So many things he wanted to say, but he settled on the one that you probably needed to hear most. The one that was undeniably true no matter what way you looked at it.

"They don't hate you. Those kids love you more than anything. They wanted to stay, you know? To make sure you were okay."

Did they really? 

You doubted it. Not after seeing you that way. There was no way they could still view you as someone worth loving, of trusting after that.

"You're lying."

It was the only defense you had.

"Am I?"

You couldn't sense any deceit from him. Only worry that was starting to swell with something else. 

Longing.

The same feeling reflecting in your own aura the longer he held you.

"Can you look at me for a second?"

You didn't want to. You wanted to stay covered. Stay wrapped up in this feeling that had you spilling your secrets without a second thought. But you didn't resist against him slightly pulling away from you and coaxing your head up. You didn't avert your eyes when they finally met his.

"They care about you, don't ever doubt that. If they didn't, they wouldn't be picking up on your habits to accommodate you. They wouldn't look back over at you, waiting for your attention. They wouldn't have let you come if they didn't want you around them. And if you still don't believe that, then just wait until they see you. I have a hunch they'll tell you so themselves. Okay?"

And you couldn't do anything except nod. Letting yourself believe he was right. He had never been wrong before.

"And about you putting them in danger…you didn't. You protected Gon, didn't you? You reacted quickly and neutralized the threat. What happened after was an accident. You went over your limits, which was foolish, but you didn't have a choice. So for however long you decide to stay, don't use your ability anymore. Let me take care of everything from here on out. I'll protect all three of you."

Even though he said he wouldn't. That if any of you couldn't protect yourselves, you'd need to leave. But he supposed he could make an exception for you. Give you a break from everything you experienced so far. Because truthfully, he wasn't so keen on sending you back anymore. 

"I don't want to just sit back and be a burden. I already can't fight. If I can't use my ability to sense what's ahead, then what am I even good for?" You were completely useless without your nen. And now that you verbalized it, the feeling only intensified. 

You were nothing if you couldn't even do the one thing you were good at.

"You're not a burden. If anything, those boys are going to need you more than ever for what lies ahead. Your comfort, specifically. They're going to need a rock to help them get through this. They've already seen things most wouldn't have been able to stomach. Witnessed inhumane atrocities that most grown men would have crumbled at the sight of. And it's only going to get worse the closer we get to the nest. If you left now, do you think the same words coming from me would mean as much as if they came from you?"

You didn't know when you had moved your head back into his neck, but you were grateful you did. Because right now, you were crying again. You couldn't have been that important, could you? You couldn't have mattered that much to them. But it made sense, what Kite was saying. 

They were kids who shouldn't have to bear the brunt of this night by themselves. Who kept together better than you did, but were still very much affected by what they saw.

"I don't wanna hold them back…But I don't want to push them too far either." You leaned further into him. Wanting his presence to engulf you once more because it was safe. It let you succumb to the ever-growing guilt and regret bubbling under the surface without judgment. Without prying eyes. 

"You won't. You're doing just fine so far." 

And you felt your head being once again cradled. So gently, so lovingly.

Was that what this feeling was? The one that had your heart beating in overdrive. The one that made you feel so safe and protected. The one that made you tease and embarrass him.

A type of love so very special you couldn’t really put it into words.

You loved the boys, yes. But not like this. You had a family once. A clan. And you had loved them once upon a time.

So why did this feel different? Stronger. Why did it make you wanna stay by his side just for the opportunity to be held so tenderly again?

"You smell nice. It helps in a way. Being able to relax, I mean." You said after a while. Your mouth running faster than your brain, unable to catch yourself from saying things you probably shouldn't.

But instead of pushing you away, Kite had rested his head on yours. Relieved that you were finally starting to be yourself again. The tiredness from your aura was still present, but everything negative from before had quelled back down.

"I'm glad." He responded.

And truthfully, he liked your scent, too. The scent of fresh rain that was unfortunately tainted with undertones of copper now. But he had no doubt it would return to normal in time. It would be just as wonderful as it had been when you'd given him back his cloak.

"You know, I think I like you. Is that bad?"

Your sudden confession had him tensing up. He hadn’t expected your forwardness. It caught him so off guard he was sure he turned a bright red. And he had to remind himself that this was still a job, regardless of if he returned your feelings or not. You two would have time to sort it out later.

When he could take you out on a proper date.

But just this once, he would let his professionalism slip.

"No...Not at all."

“Okay.”

He was surprised when you said nothing after that. He expected you to ask him where he stood regarding his feelings towards you. And when you didn't, he didn't quite know what to make of it. 

The way you confessed, though, had clued him in a little. You didn't seem to know what to make of your own feelings. Had you never done this before? Never felt a connection to someone else? It hadn't occurred to him someone could be new to this. New to the very idea of being in love.

And maybe it did endear you all the more to him that you didn’t know how these things worked. 

But time was ticking, and Gon and Killua were probably worried sick. Wondering what was taking so long. 

"We should get going." He released his grip on you and went to get up.

But you pulled him back down into you.

"Can we stay like this a little longer. Please."

You were proving to be a distraction. And maybe that wasn't so bad after all.

"Okay. But just for a few more minutes. We can't stall forever."

"I know."

You just wanted this small comfort to last a little while longer.

—-----------------------

An impatient foot tapped on the ground, getting faster with each passing minute. The feeling of anxiety growing the longer it took.

"Maybe we should go check on them?" Gon suggested. His fidgeting stopping for just a moment.

"You were the one who insisted we wait outside. So deal with it." Killua argued back. His own hands fidgeting as he tried not to get up and go in there himself. 

"I know but they've been gone a long time. I'm just worried." The boy in green looked back at the factory entrance.

"I'm worried, too." 

Because you hadn't been yourself. The warmth that had drawn them to you disappeared. In its place something dark.

Something that Killua couldn't help but associate with his brother. The feeling that left him paralyzed and weak. Except this time, it had been strong enough to actually strangle him. 

For the first time, he didn't feel safe around you. 

But there had been signs leading up to your breakdown. Signs that both of them had ignored in favor of having you here. The most telling one, however, was the fact that you didn't seem to care after their battles. 

You didn't worry, didn't cheer them on, didn't even have a spark of pride behind those tired eyes. You'd always, always told them they had done a good job. 

And when you practically ignored him after his fight, it hurt. 

It hurt to see you turn away with that blank expression. 

It hurt because he didn't want you to be like the rest of his family. He wanted you to be you. To get all pissy when he pushed your buttons. To scold him and bonk the back of his head. To fuss over him like he was a baby and curse out whoever had hurt him or Gon.

He wasn't used to giving unconditional love, but if you came out of that factory like yourself again, then it was already decided he would forgive you. 

"Does it bother you?" He asked Gon after a few minutes.

"Does what bother me?"

"That they didn't recognize you? That their Ren was so heavy and gross?" 

And it took the boy in green a while to think of his answer. 

"I don't think so. I mean, I didn't like them seeing me but not seeing who I was. I think they thought I was someone else. But it wasn't something they could help, so no. That doesn't bother me. And as for their aura…"

If he would have just finished off the ant like Kite said, then you wouldn't have lost control in the first place. You wouldn't be panicking right now.

"It's my fault they got that way. They wouldn't have been so angry if I had just done what I was supposed to. And Master Wing said Ren is a projection of your emotions. We knew they weren't doing so well before we even started fighting. They probably pushed themselves too far trying to keep up with us."

So no, Gon wasn't bothered by either of those things. He chose not to be, so long as you walked out back to normal.

"So you're blaming yourself? You idiot. Don't you remember what Y/n said. 'No matter what happens, it's not your fault.'" Killua scolded. 

Because right now, that was the only thing he could think to say. He should've known Gon's affection for you wouldn't have swayed. To be fair, he stuck around with this ex-assassin even after learning about who he truly was.

"I don't think that applies to this situation. They jumped in to protect me. Because I wasn't thorough enough." Gon argued.

You weren't a fighter, but you went against that for him. You'd been exposed to your phobia full force to protect him.

"Because they love you, you idiot!"

And the words temporarily shocked him. Hearing them said out in the open. You did love them, didn't you? 

You did.

And the thought had him beaming. Temporarily distracting him from his previous feeling of guilt.

"Hey! What's got you all smiley all of a sudden!?!"

"Y/n loves us." 

Killua had quickly turned his face away, embarrassment bubbling up.

"Dummy. Gahh! What's taking them so long!?!" He tried to change the subject, hoping Gon would take the bait.

"I don't know. They have been gone for about thirty minutes. Why are you worrying? Does something about it bother you?" The boy in green taking on a teasing tone, catching on to what Killua was trying to do.

"Of course it does! I don't want lover boy putting his hands on our big sibling! Are you not bothered by it!?!" The small assassin crossed his arms and huffed.

"Not really. I'll admit it's a little weird because Kite was my dad's student. And Y/n is our big sibling. It's like two different worlds colliding, but I trust him. He's super tough too, so Y/n's in good hands." Gon assured.

"Well I haven't seen enough! He needs both of our approvals or else the answer is no." 

He really was being stubborn about this, wasn't he? And it was very amusing to the boy in green.

"What'll you do if they end up together anyway? You can't be upset with him forever. You know what that means right? It means he's officially one of us. Like Leorio and Kurapika. Zushi and Master Wing, too."

But Killua was still not having it. 

"You don't get it. You've never had siblings before. You don't know what it's like to finally have somebody who doesn't want to use you. Who doesn't push you to be something you don't want to." All at once the conversation had shifted into something a little more somber.

"...You're right, I've never had a brother or a sister. But that doesn't mean I love Y/n any less than you do. You know, the one thing I've learned trying to find Ging is that you meet all sorts of people. You make all sorts of friends no matter where you go. And you keep moving forward because no matter what, you'll always see them again."

This time Gon met Killua's eyes with a resolve just as strong as yours.

"You're worried about them not wanting to come with us anymore, right? Well if they do decide to stay with Kite after this, then that's fine. We'll always get to see them again. It's a promise. I don't know why you get so upset when it's clear as day they love us no matter what."

It was like magic the way he could convince Killua of almost anything when he sounded that confident. The way he could get him to believe in everything that came out of his mouth.

"How are you always so sure about these things? I just-I just don't want to let go yet. I know Kite's a good guy. I know he's important to you because he was important to Ging. And I know that he makes Y/n so happy when they talk to him. I know but…It's hard."

"Of course it's hard. It's not easy to let go of someone you care about. But think of it this way- we get another big sibling if things work out." Gon had made it over to where Killua sat, giving him a light nudge to the shoulder.

A small smile made its way to the mini assassin's face.

"Yeah, I guess you're right…But if he breaks their heart, we're gonna give him hell for it, right?"

"Duh. Nobody's allowed to make Y/n upset. It could be Isaac Netero himself and I still wouldn't take it."

---------------

Fun Fact #12: Y/n smells like rain, even though they absolutely despise the murky weather. 

MASTERLIST

Tags: @fandomhoe101 @justxiao @bekahtaylorgriggs

If you'd like to be tagged all you need to do is ask 🥰

---------------------------------

An: A doozy of a chapter with 18k words!!! Y'all are being spoiled, but honestly this chapter could have been longer if my mobile tumblr hadn't kept dying after i reached around 12k words. Legit kicking me out and not letting me edit, so i had to finish in google docs and copy and paste from my laptop.

Unfortunately, there was a cut kiss scene. It just didn't fit right, if that makes sense? I just don't think Kite would've kissed reader after crying. He's a gentleman and I refuse to believe otherwise. 😤😤😤

That's all, uploading is gonna be inconsistent as always, but I'm back baby 🤌🤌🤌

[bonefall]

Could you tell us some more about your Lizardstripe? It always annoyed me that the only cat in canon to point out double standards regarding kits was also the horrible mother that they blamed for all of Brokenstar’s issues. I’m glad she’s portrayed more sympathetically here though, with her friend group and role as Bluestar’s lawyer.

Anything out of BB!ShadowClan takes like, a Star Wars opening scroll of text to explain to an outsider and that's how I LIKE IT

It's my personal mission to inject nuance chemical into every woman demonized by Canon WC. Brokenstar isn't bad because he had a sad childhood or something, it was literally generations of culture turning toxic and demanding a cosmic reckoning from which he was born, moulded by, and ultimately embodied of his own free will.

Evil Women Who Weren't Good Mothers aren't responsible for his actions

Anyway, Lizardstripe.

She is gonna get her own summary at some point (I kinda want to do a ShadowClan Month at some point for the biggest ShC characters, like Nightstar, Russetfur, Stumptail, etc), but here's shards for now;

She's related to old Finchflight in some way. The timeline is getting reduxed and Finch is VERY dead by the time of TPB.

So she's either a child of his, or a niece. Finch is Yellowfang’s age (mid teens in TPB), Lizard is Bluestar's (10-ish)

She was a young mom, less than 2, she met the Forget-me-nots after she was already pregnant.

She wasn't actually raising Brokenstar, just suckling him. Ragged was doing that.

Lizard was still not a great mom. She didn't enjoy it at all, and was often getting bored and frustrated

She would often bring the kittens out into the woods on training exercises, activities they were TOO young for.

Runningkit, Deerkit, and Tanglekit were always covered in dings, bumps, ticks, and things that kept putting them in Yellowfang’s den as a result. Lizard was talked to more than once for this

When Brokenkit joined in on this, mysteriously, he was NEVER covered in dings. Like he was developing faster and was more agile than the others. Deerkit was jealous, Tanglekit thought it was AWESOME

Runningkit was developing a bit of a bully streak, realizing that he could exploit this by getting his sibs mad at him, and then hiding behind Broken

Lizard was always being forced to step in and take control of the situations by trying to break up the Dastardly Duo, but then would be OVERRULED by Raggedstar, who wanted his son to hang out with his friend

If Yellowfang didn't notice it herself, she would definitely learn through Lizard that these two should NOT be allowed to multiply their terror with power

But, that's more about them than Lizard.

She's a lot more than just someone's mom. She's a friend of Bluestar's, and the ShadowClan representative in the Forget-me-nots!

WOW her ShadowClan sense of humor is sharp. She can be VICIOUS

She often finds herself having to smooth her jokes over after making a comment that's too mean. What's just part of ShadowClan humor can be cutting to cats in other Clans

Oakheart is actually the one cat who never seems to get hurt, "i like your funny words lizardman"

She likes teasing Bluefur, she's just so easily flustered! And she cares so much about other people,

"Stars, you make me want to yack up a hairball, Bloof."

When Bluefur earns the name Bluemoon (unsure how yet) Lizardstripe b'awws that her nickname is going to be too cool now.

(In Clanmew, it's Luparfaf, Luf, vs Luparshom, Lum)

Lizardstripe and Barley Senior are the two smartest members of the group. Barley is all about logistics, schemas, building and working out plans for meeting up and not getting caught.

Lizardstripe knows what's going on in people's heads. She can be a manipulative mastermind, when she REALLY wants something.

I think she gave Blue and Hoprunner a lot of good advice on how to achieve their ambitions, but, she wasn't really interested in that extra responsibility herself

"What and have to deal with Raggedstar's wishy washy ass and his angelic brat more than i already do? I'd rather kiss a thistle."

What Lizi really liked in her life was the pleasure of it all. Sneaking around, teasing Bluefur, helping out Barley, wrestling Hoprunner. Playing games with her Clanmates, staying late at Gatherings.

She loves her freedom, the ability to decide where to spend her time

She was the first of the Forget-me-nots to die, a year or two after Bluestar took power, in a ferocious battle with WindClan.

Current draft: Talltail's son, Flytail, killed her violently in Heatherstar's Last Stand, the decisive battle that truly "ended" the Mothermouth Moorland War.

After that battle, ShadowClan lost a strategic area and could never regain their foothold. Raggedstar tried to surrender the next year, which was when Brokentail killed him.

Lizardstripe and Mudfoot being lost in the same year was one of the things he and Runningnose cited to each other as "reasons why" WindClan had to pay

If they died for nothing, if SO many had just fought in a war they lost... then it was all for nothing.

Warriors don't accept peace deals.

They fight, they fight to the last cat standing.

I think the news hit all of the Forget-me-nots hard. They hadn't met up in a while, their ambitions driving them apart over time, but... that didn't make it less difficult. No one thought she would be the first.

I think she's my favorite of the little friend group tbh, I'm fond of the Angel Lawyer Friend.

[rubykgrant]

I'm TRYING to re-think the order of some of the events in my RVB story-line, so it flows a little better as an actual plot (to be fair, the actual series would often leave the end of a season sort of up in the air, and come back with a non sequitur after a lot of time passes, so. shame on me for trying so hard, I guess). I have a lot more little details involved (I'll ramble about those below), but these are the BIG PICTURE aspects that everything else is framed around

The Interviews involve the Reds, Blues, former Freelancers, Doc, Locus, and a few friends from Chorus talking about what they've been through (with some flash-backs thrown in, showing what they aren't all telling). During the Vacations, Donut goes on a big spa-spree, the Grif sibs go back to Hawaii (without a big fuss, Kai may like the attention, but Grif doesn't want people bothering him about being the Famous Orange Soldier), Simmons tries to track down his family (he can't find them), Sarge goes back to sulk in Blood Gulch alone, Wash goes looking for the Triplets, Doc spends some time with Dr Grey and thinks about trying for a medical degree again, Lopez is allowed to just be by himself (and he's honestly kinda bored), Caboose goes back to the Moon, Tucker searches for Junior, Carolina attempts to dig up info about how deep Charon/Project Freelancer really got into all the crime BS, Locus tries to turn himself into the authorities on Chorus (being all "I deserve to die" about it) but Kimball gives him a "life sentence" of community service. Everybody misses each other, and are drawn back together like a bunch of planets caught in the same gravitational pull

-Sarge is contacted by a UNSC group that wants to give soldiers who were Sim Troopers and members of the Flag Zealots "new training", and he doesn't hesitate. He has fun with it for a while, and this is where he meets Poppy... she is how he finds out a lot of the people here were given the option "join this training program or face prison time", which really isn't much of an option at all. He thinks about how the Red VS Blue war was a lie, he thinks about Project Freelancer manipulating the agents, he thinks about Wash having a villain moment to avoid being locked-up, he thinks about Locus believing soldiers are supposed to kill without ever asking questions... and Papa Warcrimes decides he actually hates the military (it's a sign of the apocalypse!). Meanwhile, Carolina has finally gotten some leads about Charon, and she meets Junonia, who helps her find out more regarding the past and what Hargrove is still up to. Gene has also been around, trying to be a solo villain, but he's BARELY a one-man Team Rocket. Finally, the insidious purpose for all this new training is exposed, and Red Team (with their new member, Poppy) gets to have the spot-light when they fight the villain

-Everybody finally goes back to Earth together, and this time, a big celebration is held for their return. They spend most of their time out of armor on Earth, so the general public leaves them alone. Some fun shenanigans with everybody finding ways to amuse themselves (Sarge doesn't like going outside, the sky is too BLUE). Now that she knows where they are (thanks to the welcoming celebration), Tex finally catches up with everybody, revealing that when Epsilon Deconstructed, the information from his memories transferred back to the original Beta unit, reviving her. The Director had this whole plan for eventually bringing Allison back with a synthetic human body made from her DNA sample, but he could never make it "perfect" (Tex isn't an identical clone, more like a genetic "sibling" to Allison). She isn't the only one who found them; the parents Simmons went looking for finally show up (now that their son is a famous space hero). He's more than happy to get their attention, and they have him join their work at a bio-tech company (everybody else immediately recognizes the parents as a-holes, and the business as shady, but try telling Simmons that). Tex was initially hesitant to reveal the other AI Fragments were also revived, what with some left-over sore feelings regarding Sigma and Omega (Wash is ironically more willing to forgive them for everything; he wishes he had been able to do that BEFORE, instead of fighting against them as the Meta, and the whole spiral from there). Carolina talks through emotions with Sigma, and Omega compliments both Doc and O'malley for finding their back-bone. Everybody else is happy to get to know the Fragments better. Some Drama happens with the Reds, but Simmons finally sees his parents don't really care about him, and they all figure out that the bio-tech company has the original Alpha Unit hidden away. They rescue Church, who has the chance to be in his own synthetic body based on the Directors DNA (again, not identical, just similar)

-Everybody gets to CATCH THEIR BREATH, Caboose and Tucker have Church back, Church and Tex get to do people things, hooray! A distress call out there in space tricks Tucker into thinking Junior is in trouble, so he heads out to find his kid (most of the others join him, but a few stay behind because of recovering injures, etc). This turns out to be a trick, Hargrove and Temple are both being jerks. The rest of the gang arrives for a rescue, and Church has each of the Fragments assist his friends for the escape; for Hargrove, this was his attempt to test out a "new version" of scanning a mind to make his own AI (his tech is wonky, and will definitely kill people it scans). For Temple, he's under the impression that if he helps, he can have his own mind scanned, thus giving him a "recreation" of Biff from his memories. Hargrove REALLY wants people who have interacted with the AI Fragments as experiments, since he thinks there is important data to be found from minds like that. Temple just wants to kill the main group because he hates their guts, and it isn't FAIR, why do they get their dead friend back? Also, everybody finds the AI file for Sheila! When things settle down, Grif and Simmons talk, and at last they are on the same freaking page

-After the rescue, Hargove escapes again, and the group hears a distress call from Chorus. Some old problems are going on again, so they swing by to help out. Hargrove has one last-ditch effort to get what he wants in terms of AI experiments... Felix didn't just come back wrong, he came back WORSE. Well, everybody has the chance to work through some unresolved negative emotions aimed at him (Kimball, Locus, Tucker- everybody gets a stab in!). Felix wants to use his sword again, but it recognizes him as "dead". He tries to use a temple that "revives echoes" for key holders, but this just gives him a ghost of Doyle ("It was mine before it was yours"). The Echo also brings back other AI like Santa, who have been programmed to make certain events happen... while everybody tries to deal with Felix AND finally catch Hargrove for good, the Echo creates a whole third problem. At last, a group of aliens arrive, alerted by the Echo, and in the group is- Junior!

-Some happy family reunion time for Tucker and his boy. Junior explains what he's been doing for so long; he wasn't trying to avoid his father, but there are dangerous groups out there trying to kill him, and he's been hiding while also trying to save others. The strange "prophecy" about him, as well as things involving a "Great Destroyer" is indeed true (Gary admits he kind of just made up what it was about, but it really WAS real!) have become more urgent. Somebody who wants to take over and wipe-out anybody who opposes them has been targeting Junior. There are also many other half human/aliens like him, an attempt to create as many potential "prophecy children" as possible, but all were rejected by their human parents and only seen as tools by the other aliens (except for Junior, who is actually loved by his dad... even though they haven't been able to spend much time together). Another temple out in space supposedly has the power to give "continuous life", and the villain intends to use that to win. Tucker and the others try to protect Junior, but the temple doesn't work the way they all think...

-Back on Earth again, life seems to give them all a break... but unusual things begin happening. It eventually becomes clear that there are "new AI gods" toying with them (some are just playful, a few are genuinely malicious). This involves somewhat amusing, if a little annoying, shenanigans (like Wash getting turned into a cat, and a tiny 7-year-old Sarge showing up), but also very dangerous situations. Alternate time-lines and realities collide, some arguably "worst-case scenarios"

-It finally becomes necessary to confront the cause of all this. The group gets pulled into a pocket dimension where a lot of realities intersect. One AI god demands people fight for their amusement, and the winner will get to return to the "reality they want". The group really just wants weird paradox stuff to STOP. Church, Tex, and the Fragments figure out a way to keep everybody from dying, even the enemies they have to fight, until they have the chance to take on the one trying to control everything. Just when it seems like that issue is solved... Donut throws up. Weird, cosmic throw-up, like if the big-bang was a liquid. Being the one who has been traveling through time and reality the most, he's kind of absorbed a LOT of cosmic energy, and he can't control it. A big monster-transformation happens, but everybody figures out how to fix it so they can save Donut. Are we done? Are we DONE now???

-Yes. Everybody has the chance to live their lives, whatever that means for each of them. They get to be happy. Sometimes, bad things still happen, it can be difficult and unpleasant to live- but they still LIVE. Eventually, they pass on too (and that also means different things for some of them). When all is said and done, they're mostly glad they all got to be here~

[zenoiredottore]

Hoyofam if they were in highschool

ZZZ:

Weird kid, says he won’t bite but he will.

He’s the person the teacher goes to whenever there’s a problem with the computer or the tv

Highkey a stalker

Foul mouth, will curse not realizing the teacher is behind him

Doesn’t really pay attention in class and never studies but has ok grades

Doesn’t like eye contact

Don’t ever give this guy anything sweet, he will not be able to get out of the sugar rush

Coffee is inside his water bottle

Has sudden bursts of energy

Not athletic at all.

A bit popular but mostly because they realized he is part of hoyofam

If he’s feeling pressured to ace some sort of test he’s going to cheat, and he’s not getting caught

Also doesn’t really like crowds but not in a shy way

Buys food from a nearby convenience store before school

When he likes a girl he’s going to go all stalkery on her

Whenever he gets shipped with another girl, they go ewwwww

He’s not ugly but just the way he carries himself makes him seem like a creep to everyone else

Has popular older siblings so the teachers compare him a lot to them

Has to live up to his siblings’ high reputation

Boy failure

Good at chess and dama

Has never held hands romantically

An artist at school and would have his doodles gawked at for being so good

Surrounds himself with other nerds.

In some sort of film club where they watch movies

Plans on taking a career in computer science or tech stuff

HSR:

BOYFAILURE

Since he doesn’t have a job yet, I like to imagine he’s a bit sad and pathetic

An athlete against his will

Plays for the baseball, basketball and track teams, cuz he was forced to.

Doesn’t pay attention in class but studies with his siblings, his grades are NOT okay

Secretly uses his phone under the table

Gets compared a lot to older sibs, cuz they were literally perfect and he’s just... there…

Popular cuz of his hot older sibs [nepotism]

Useless in live reportings but will design, decorate, and research the hell for you just so he won’t speak in front of the class

Will pretend to be sick whenever a new game releases/events [I did this with hsr lolol]

A lot of girls would approach him to ask about what genshin likes, wanting to get closer to him cuz even tho he’s a bit mean he gives off those bad boy, cold ceo vibes that the ladies love. Everyone approaches him, even ppl from outside school cuz of hi3 cuz she’s literally the coolest person you will ever meet. Guys talk to him to get on his good side, to maybe get a chance with Themis. Girls talk to him to maybe get introduced to themis and learn her ways cuz she’s so freaking pretty

Attractive and athletic so he is popular on his own

You’d expect him to be a dumb jock but he is actually pretty nerdy

Secretly the president of loserville

Doesn’t surround himself with other jocks because he thinks they’re too annoying

Doesn’t sit with the nerds because they think he’s an annoying jock

Sits with Genshin at lunch because they’re both kinda friendless [ I like to think that there are these two other kids that just sit with them one day, essentially becoming friends and they never acknowledged or asked them to leave because genshin doesn’t care and hsr was too shy and whenever the 2 boys make plans with them hsr just agrees cuz he doesn’t want to be rude and genshin doesn’t say anything,,, but they both show up cuz it’s rude to not go]

Really funny and he could definitely become friends with more people if he puts himself out there a bit more

Crazy good at sports, won multiple medals

He hates studying with genshin cuz he’s always so mean

Themis is his savior cuz she actually teaches in a way he can understand

He doesn’t notice but the girls gawk at him a lot too

Oblivious whenever a girl flirts with him

Grew to really like the two boys that befriended them and invites them a lot over to their house, where they simp for themis and talk about how cool hi3 is

Themis

POPULAR GIRL

So pretty like kokomi teruhashi [she’s sort of like her but she is a bit kinder and less vain]

A lot more guys would approach her if they weren’t so scared of genshin

She rejects nicely 10/10 would get rejected by her again

Always perfect

ALL THE GIRLS WANT TO BE HER

Gets high grades and has tons of after school activities [ volleyball club, debate club, book club]

Gets these gifts and love letters from love and deepspace whom she “hates” but she always keeps the gifts somewhere safe

There’s not really a popular girls table, more so “Themis, the pretty girl but looks plain next to themis, themis’ goon, and some girl themis liked and just picked up outta nowhere.”

Her entire friend group have crushes on her brothers

Pretty strict about what she eats

Student council secretary

Most fashionable girly in the entire campus

Claims to never wear makeup [she uses a lil bit but it’s hardly noticeable]

Smells like vanilla, cupcakes, and beauty

The prettiest hair, and will gate keep the products she uses

Just being around her will make your day

Goes on school beauty pageants and she wins every single time

Genshin

You can hear the girls screaming his name from the top of their lungs whenever he gets on stage

Most of the guys hate him

Others just want to be him

Student council president, he’s been running since his first year of high school and has won every election

Very handsome face

The girls and guys love him

Not many friends

Has a scary face, but not really outwardly mean [ still pretty evil]

Him and sr’s friend group always end up doing the craziest shit

Unintentionally funny

Stylish, was asked if he was a model in public

A bit of a stick in the mud and a sucker for rules

“Can’t I’d be too busy sucking genshin’s dick” – by a student that hates his gut, but secretly really does want to suck him

People think he’s this cool, nonchalant, cold hearted guy when he’s rly just in a world of his own

Doesn’t talk much but that’s cuz he’s busy thinking about random stuff

Lowkey a smug asshole

Top of his class, always fights with themis over who gets to be in the first place

Sometimes, Themis would pass notes to him [They’re classmates and they’re technically twins] and she would write important or urgent questions like; Did you remember to lock the doors to the student council room? And he would just respond with “Passing notes is a violation of the rules. You’re lucky that you’re my sister, else I would’ve snitched.”] and she just gets so mad cuz why is her bro like this

Very rich

Can sit in absolute silence, alone with his imagination

Likes being outside of the school in the greenhouse

The school photographer

On the school swimming team, cuz he rly likes scuba diving so he was like,,, why not

When the entire school went on a camping trip they were literally so surprised when they saw him climbing trees, and mountains with no climbing gear

Knows Tai chi, kendo, krav maga, and escrima[arnis] and has black belts for most of them

His hobbies include scuba diving, mountain climbing, skiing, ice hockey, and surfing,,, he really wants to start club for them but yk… the school doent exactly have the things that’ll need

While the entire school went out camping, Themis, SR, and Zen were clinging onto him for dear life because they’re indoors people [honkai was fine she actually quite enjoyed it]

The basketball coach really wanted him on the team since he’s tall, but then got into a whole argument with the swim coach, and his class adviser just told the bball coach off cuz he has too much on his plate

Shoebox confessions

Occasionally packs a nicely cooked lunch for him and his friends, along with extras for his sibs

Why do I lowkey have a crush on him now…?

Green flag that looks really red

Hi3

The coolest upper classmen ever

Energetic and athletic

Teachers, students, and staff love her

On every single sports team, and acing it

Always performs and slays at school festivals

Has a hard time understanding things in class but does try her best to pay attention

Always has themis and genshin to help her out when her grades are getting low

The student council’s peace officer [she’s rly good at her job]

Boosts morale in sporting events that she’s not competing in

Cheerleader + band kid too… how does she have sm energy?

Whenever one of her sibs compete in contests she always puts 110% when cheering them on, even during Zen’s chess competition. She was kicked out of the venue.

During one of Star’s baseball game she shouted so loud that he kept on missing his strikes… “GET HER OUT OF THE STADIUM.”

She knows everyone, and knows all the tea and gossip

You can hear her voice 10km away istg

The coaches always tell her how she can outperform all the guys in her school

Her energy can power an entire household for 100 years

Eats and orders way too much food at the canteen

Friends with everyone and she doesn’t have any designated lunch spots,,, she could just sit wherever she wants since everyone is so cool with her

Does have one introverted friend that she hangs out with the most

She hasn’t come out as lesbian to the entire school yet, and she doesn’t really know how she would do it… her fam do know and support her tho

A surprisingly beautiful singer

[eridanidreams]

WIP Whenever/Textual Thursday

This is a side jaunt in the universe of stars through my fingers like grains of sand. It takes place sometime in 2312.

"C-12 isn't a stable enough genome," the first voice insisted. "C-13 and C-7 were much more suitable candidates—"

"Yes," said the second voice. "And look how well they turned out."

C-13 and C-7 had both disappeared a few weeks ago; the girl eavesdropping knew that much. She also knew that when people disappeared, they didn't come back. They—the two men discussing her own fate—were responsible, had done something. Another experiment. In her experience, 'experiment' meant "Dr. Reg is going to do something to us and see what happens." Sometimes those experiments were as small as changing the way they ate; other times… other times they got sick. And then they went away.

The girl knew she'd probably be in trouble if Dr. Reg caught her eavesdropping on him, but she didn't like what she'd been sensing from him. Impatient. Speculative. Whatever he had planned for her, she needed to know—before she ended up like her clone-sibs: dead… or worse.

"That's the unfortunate nature of experiments," Dr. Reg retorted. "Even under the best conditions, one cannot fully predict the outcome." She heard him stomping back and forth; the cold of his anger seeped into her even through the door. "Given the conditions that actually apply—I warned you of the potential impact."

The second voice was even colder, if that was possible. "Whatever you may think of Neon, it's the best site we currently have for the program as the political situation currently stands."

"Neon," Dr. Reg sneered. "Freestar Collective. Their precious capital city still hasn't bothered to pave their own streets."

"Which," the second voice sounded bored, "is why you're not in Akila City. Neon's megacorps are technologically sophisticated enough that you should have no problem acquiring the hardware that you need, and morally bankrupt enough that they won't care where you come from so long as they can profit from it."

"Save for the fact that I'm spending two-thirds of the budget on security so those morally-bankrupt megacorps don't simply steal the work out from under us," Dr. Reg snapped.

"No," now the second voice sounded amused, "you're spending budget on security so the people from whom you stole your current line of research don't retrieve it with extreme prejudice. And while I admire your initiative, I simply can't allocate more funds to you right now. Nor, am I afraid, are we in a position to refresh the clone lines." The amusement disappeared, replaced by a bitter hate. "My enemies in the government were… proactive… in destroying the labs."

The sound of Dr. Reg's footsteps stopped; the girl shivered in time with his shock. "That's—you're telling me that C-12 is the last? The very last?"

"Indeed." The hate in the second voice was gone as if it had never existed. "Frankly, at this point, whether the program is a success or not is irrelevant. We certainly cannot use it to support the current administration."

"Then—what do we do?" Dr. Reg was close to panic; the girl was, too, but for different reasons. "We've invested too much in this project to simply quit!"

"Do not allow the fallacy of the sunken cost to blind you to the realities of the situation, Reginald." The girl wasn't fond of Dr. Reg sometimes, but she really hated the other man. "The program is ending, one way or another. The best way forward is to finalize the experiment on C-12. Whatever the outcome, the data will be useful when we are in a position to rebuild."

"C-12… the problem isn't just the stability of the genome. I have concerns about her psychological suitability, as well. She's… soft." Dr. Reg all but sneered the last word, and the girl had to fight down the desire to go in there and kick him in the goolies. Which would be temporarily satisfying, but would ruin all her careful preparations. Nor did she want to be actually noticed by the empty-voiced man. He scared her. "It would be better to simply adopt her out, monitor from a distance. We can easily pass her off as a war orphan."

"And, what, breed her?" the man sneered right back. "Even had we not engineered them to be sterile, the non-human genomic inclusions would ensure it. No. My daughter was also 'soft'," he added dismissively. "The war hardened her up sufficiently. Should C-12 survive the initial surgery, we have ways to insure that she will be as 'hard' as necessary." There was a pause. "And genomic stability aside, her empathic potential is the highest of the C-line."

"Well… that is true…" Whatever else the man's contempt had done, it had shaken Dr. Reg out of being angry and into a more thoughtful mood. And while the girl could appreciate the relief from his anger, Dr. Reg was most dangerous when he was contemplative. "Failures or not, we learned a great deal from the last two. C-7, in particular, gave us valuable feedback. The neural amplification in the last revision was too… robust. The new implant prototype should be available within the next 48 hours."

"Good." A note of avarice entered the other man's voice. "Have you had any success in identifying the source of the amplifier?"

"No." Dr. Reg sounded just as disappointed. "My source is dead—found floating near one of the piers, half-eaten by chasmbass. Undoubtedly an assassination, but she covered her tracks well enough that I wasn't able to find out where she'd stolen it from."

"A pity. Well, you have your orders."

The girl heard the faint click of the connection ending, followed by Dr. Reg's savage mutter, "One of these days, Admiral, you'll give an order to the wrong person, and you'll be a dead man in truth." The satisfaction that rolled off him at the thought made her want to scrub her skin raw. She'd heard enough—she fled back to the sleeping quarters. 48 hours wasn't a long time, and she had an escape to plan.

[stewykablooey]

what do you think stewy's reaction was when kendall went to rehab? I definitely don't think it was kendall voluntarily going, but I also don't think stewy would've went to any intervention for kendall, even if he does recognize kendall actually has problems with drugs 🤔

hmmmmmmmm i actually Do think kendall went voluntarily, mostly because i genuinely can’t imagine anyone in his life who would care enough to force him to go (or have the emotional capacity to show that they care because i Do think the sibs cared/were concerned about his substance abuse but they definitely wouldnt intervene) except maybe rava, but a) i dont think kendall would listen to her and b) if she did it was part of an ultimatum that eventually pushed kendall to check himself in. unless you’re thinking about like, a court-mandated order but idk about the logistics of that, but then yeah, i do think that could be a way that kendall ended up in rehab. (i could also see connor trying to talk to kendall about going but kendall wouldn’t listen to him either and connor wouldn’t push) but Also, i think kendall really would go voluntarily as some kind of attempt to better himself, but not really in a healthy way, more in an all-or-nothing side quest before he got himself caught into logans orbit again, or in some complete toxic mind-shift of like ‘drugs are for the weak my body is a temple’ type bullshit.

anyway back to stewy: Yes, u are so right that he would not intervene, just like the sibs he obviously cares but he would never take it upon himself to get kendall to seek help because he feels that a) thats not his responsibility and b) its not his business. as close as they are and as intertwined as their lives and business becomes, i think stewy very much draws a boundary between him and kendall that they each are granted autonomy as an adult. whatever kendall does is his business and whatever stewy does is stewys business and they can meet in the middle wherever those things might cross, or just enjoy their friendship outside whatever those things may be. and this is for specific things, like rehab or kendalls marriage, which is also something im sure stewy wouldnt touch with a 100 foot pole. obviously the bigger picture stuff, stewy Does get himself involved in, like kendalls vendatta against logan, or trying to get kendall out of the company. but i think in a way stewy sees that big picture as much more viable, if he can fix the root of this, then all the things about kendall that he cant and wont touch will be better for it by proxy. if kendall could just be a normal billionaire without the roy family sickness then he could be normal about drugs, like stewy is.

so to finally answer your question lol: i think ultimately stewy saw as that, none of his business but also thought of it as pointless. i dont think he saw it as a bad thing and i think maybe he did hope something good would come out of it for kendall, but i think stewy never saw kendalls drug problem as a drug problem, i think he saw it as a logan problem, as a Roy problem, so he wouldn’t have had high hopes for this making any significant impact on kendall.

bonus: idk if anyone has even said this but i wanna get in front of it before anyone does, theres also no Goddamn Way that kendall going to rehab or kendall overdosing or kendalls substance abuse would e v e r make stewy think twice about his own drug use. i think stewy fully believes he is the smartest most perfect most balanced drug user in all of new york city and that whatever kendalls relationship to drugs is, no matter how sad or scary, doesn’t apply to him because he has the most perfect relationship to drugs ever (whether that is true or not)

[cheemken]

👀👀👀👀👀 *sees you reblog fnaf stuff* I KNOW WHAT YOU AREEEEE!!!!! Drayton would boast about being able to beat fnaf without getting jumpscared and then promptly play fnaf 1 and get jumpscared close to 6 AM, let out a very high pitched scream and then fall out of his desk chair~Drayton angst anon💛(who is also a fnaf enjoyer)

FELLOW FNAF FAN OMF CNDMCNDM

Oh definitely, even better I made headcanons abt the og Unova kids and how they'd play fnaf too hahaha

Anyways

Please the fact he'd be all "pfft fnaf? That game's easy."

"bet."

And instantly regrets it he does not like the way Foxy runs no he does not lmfaooo imagine him seeing Foxy run to the office the first time and he legit panics all "WHAT THE FUCK" trying to figure out what to do and ends up getting jumpscared lmfaooo he'd be all "that wasn't fair, I didn't know they could run like that"

"heh, and you said this game was easy"

"course it's easy, there's just a lotta clicking I gotta do, it's tiring"

"yeah, sure, whatever you say lmao"

But like, since I already made hcs abt the Unova kids and how they'd play fnaf might as well make concepts abt the BB E4 hahaha

Anyways, Amarys does not get scared bet, like maybe a sudden jolt if she gets caught off guard but usually when she gets jumpscared she'd just go "oh, I lost." I think she'd be the type to actually try the fangames, looking for a challenge, taking Crispin's words saying the fangames have scarier gameplay and animatronics

She still don't find it scary, she did love the challenge tho hahah

Out of all four of em, she's the closest to ever beat UCN too. And Drayton, being Drayton, was all "well, my sis beat ultimate custom night, so by extension I beat it too"

"hah, yeah right. Taking the credit of others now cause you won't admit it's a hard game?"

"it's not hard, it's just tiring keeping check on all the robots" he'd rather admit he still sleeps w a plushie than to admit to Crispin that he really did find the games a bit hard

Lacey played the VR games and SB, didn't know abt UCN, Crispin made her play UCN, she lost within five seconds lmfao

Bet she'd love fnaf world tho, like Bianca she'd love the cute models of the animatronics more than their actual models hahah I think she'd like the glamrock and toy animatronics bc like,, I think they're the cutest?? Idk, I think she'd like them more than anything else. She had nightmares abt Glitchtrap tho real, refused to go in dark places for an entire month and stopped playing VR bc of it hahaha

Crispin gives off the vibes he really had a fnaf phase and never grew outta it, he always tries to make pizza whenever he plays it or if he watches someone play it, y'know, for the immersion he says hahah but also bet he'd be the type to watch every fnaf theory video out there, especially by pkmn ver of MatPat; the type to think of his own theories, make fanart, bet he listened to the fan songs and still memorized some of them by heart. He's just like me fr—

It would be cute tho if Crispin got Amarys hooked w the lore hahah like him talking abt fnaf and telling her the story so far while she's playing, and ofc she's listening to ever word, even adding her own thoughts. They give off vibes that they'd actually try to decipher a lot of the codes and puzzles in the games, like really going above and beyond to figure out every hidden meaning hahah

I think Amarys would also read the books, Lacey's surprised there are actually books abt it, Drayton didn't bother reading them ofc, Crispin's attention span isn't made for it so he just relies on Amarys for more info abt the lore regarding the stuff within the books and connecting them to the mainline games

And bet when the movie was out Crispin got so fucking excited he invited the E4 and the Kitakami sibs to watch it with him, like he really made a lotta snacks and I know for a fact and it's canon in my heart he screamed when the song at the credits played I just know it hahaha

[fryingpan1234567]

sorry I’m on a Batboys rampage now

ALL THE BATKIDS HAVE GOOD SINGING VOICES FIGHT ME

Damian is, of course, a master of everything… and maybe Jon really wanted him to learn so all the knowledge in his life wouldn’t aid to hurting people. It’s a good outlet for belting out stress, but damn if you catch him- the only way you’ll ever hear it happen is if he’s loud enough and you happen to be in the next room over.

For Tim, it was natural. He’s always had a good voice, it just never crosses his mind to actually use it. It was only discovered when, one day, Steph and Cass caught him strumming (sort of poorly but bless his heart) on a guitar and singing a duet with Conner in his room. They did not let him forget it.

Of course Jason can’t let his sibs be better than him at anything… and that includes singing. Yeah, he learned entirely out of spite. But he discovered almost immediately it was actually really fun and nice and sometimes sings creepy shit while sneaking up on bad guys to freak them the fuck out.

Because Jason Todd.

Dick learned in the circus! Basically everyone there knew at least the basics, but his parents had the most beautiful voices he’d ever heard, and they passed it on to him. It takes enough skill to sing really well in English- but singing really well in ELEVEN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES IS ANOTHER STORY DICK WHAT THE FUCK-

Steph has that kind of gorgeous scratchy voice that I always seem to fall for, kind of like Camila Cabello maybe? She and Cass are this close to starting their own band, because

Cass sings just as well. She has such a range it’s not even funny- the highest notes and the lowest as far as female voices go, she can hit, and the best part is it doesn’t even seem difficult to her. She had a viral tiktok account of just her sitting on the Wayne Manor stairs and belting songs into the main walk-in area (all of which are filmed by Duke, of course).

Duke took choir all the way through school, and still does. While that means he sticks mostly to random songs no one has ever heard of, some Taylor Swift and theater bits are thrown in every now and then. Sometimes a sibling will walk up filming and go “hey Duke hit this riff” *impossibly good sound* *repeats it perfectly*.

idk man I just feel like… I just feel ✨Batkids✨

[pellelavellan]

The Journals of Pelle Lavellan

14 Justinian, 9:34 Dragon

I'm scared my secret might get out. I don't know what to do. People can't find out. I'm supposed to get married to Finni in the autumn. I know that she knows my secret, but nobody else does. And for good reason too. I'd never live it down. It would be social suicide. What would my parents say? Or worse, Mallas' dad? I know he's not my dad but he really does like make sure I don't forget how much he doesn't like me.

Anyways, Faris scared me today in the woods. Jumped right out of the bushes and shouted at me so loud. I was so scared I fell over. But then he did something weird. He just like...he was just leaning over me with his hands on the grass on both sides of my head staring at me. I don't know why I thought he was going to beat me up, but I just had a bad feeling so I held my breath and waited for it.

He asked me to breathe, and cursed before telling me he wasn't going to hurt me and how jumpy I was. I guess he's right, I could stand to be a bit braver but fuck what was I supposed to think when he came out of the bushes shouting and pinning him to the ground?

He let me sit up, but he was still staring at me and I didn't know why. Because I'm a glutton for punishment I asked him why he'd even pinned me to the ground in the first place if he wasn't trying to hurt me or if there wasn't someone else hiding in the bushes waiting to do something embarrassing to me. He didn't answer me of course, he just gave me another shove and told me not to get any funny ideas.

That was the first instance I started to worry that he knew something. What funny ideas could I possibly get? Okay--a lot. I'm a teenage boy and some guy I've been crushing on just pinned me down and made direct eye contact with me. OF COURSE my mind was going all kinds of places that I would absolutely keep to myself. Faris is too old for me anyways , he's older than Nara, and she's four years older than me.

He's cute sure...and muscular, and cocky, and loud, and really good at sparring he always wins. Sure I like to watch him--for science. But I'm just looking right? What's wrong with watching? I can't believe I'm trying to justify having a crush on one of the hunters to a piece of paper right now. That's kind of weird of me, but I guess it feels like I'm talking to someone that can't answer or tell me how weird I am. Paper's a good listener, I wonder if paper ever feels a way about always being told people's deepest thoughts and just having to keep it a secret?

That doesn't really matter. Anyways, he put his hands back next to my head after he shoved and he accused me of liking him. I denied it of course. He doubled down, 'you're not a fighter Sibs, you don't have any good reason to watch me with the amount of attention that you do.' I wasn't giving in though. I told him I didn't like him, might have even told him to fuck off. What was I supposed to say? Yes, I think about you a lot and I like you a lot? I'm not that stupid.Or I didn't think so because he decided to challenge that answer.

I still can't believe this happened even writing about it, but he leaned down and kissed me, and my stupid fucking ass kissed him back. He laughed at me, not in a nice way, in that mean way people do when they've caught you in a lie and they're going to gloat about it. And he did. It was awful, like all the things that seemed so cool about him were suddenly gone and he was just mean. I don't think I've ever changed my mind about someone so fast. My face got so hot I felt someone was holding a lit match to me and passing it over my cheeks.

As if it couldn't get any worse he asked me 'Are you sure about that?' I'd really had enough of it. I had two options, wrestle him to set myself free or cry, which I was about ready to do but I'd be damned if I cried in front of him because he fucking sucked. So I pounded on his chest until he backed off and I ran home, ignored my mother when she called my name when I walked past her with the sour face I probably had on, and crawled under the covers and hid from the world.

She tried to talk to me. I told her I wasn't feeling well so she advised me to get some rest, said she was always willing to talk if I wanted to. It's been a few hours now. I didn't talk her. I didn't even really talk to Nara when she came home and asked me what was wrong as I'm sure my mum told her I was acting strange.

I haven't really talked to anyone actually all day. I only got up to make dinner for everyone and eat with them, then I went back to bed. I don't want to talk about it really. Telling people would mean I would have to explain things I'm not ready to talk about, not yet. And fuck, if I told anyone what would Faris do to me? I don't wanna think about that either.

I think I hate him. I hate him so much.

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

Hello my darling basement friends, it's time for another au!

It's called Family Bonding and it's an au where the y/n kidnaps all the bois and mindbreaks them into being their little sibs/kids/pets/toys. Here's a quick list of all the characters, what they're broken into, and how they got here in order

1 Ian: Little brother/sister (You slowly worked him into staying with you and relying on you to the point he can’t leave. He thinks he’s really your little sibling)

2 Shaun: Cat (Came over to check on Ian and you kept him after he found out the truth)

3 Barry: Cow (You tricked him to coming over and kept him. You keep him just lucid enough that you can use his ties to the police to keep your family a secret)

4 Nick: Son (Taken in while being caught stalking you. Let himself be caught because he knows about your growing “family”)

5 Bo: Dog (He came to check on Nick and was too much of a himbo to figure out that he shouldn’t take drinks from strangers)

6 Elias: Little brother (Taylor tells him about the creepy rumors surrounding you and he goes to you willingly once he suspects Violet to be trouble. He begs you to break his mind and let him stay so he never has to see her or her rotten brother ever again)

7 Taylor: Son/daughter (Breaks in and actually tries to help the others escape but everyone’s already too far gone. Bo fucks him up quite a bit before you tell him to wait. Taylor accepts your offer to let him stay over letting Bo kill him)

8 Joseph: Plushy (You meet at a bar where he drunkenly tells you his sob story so you take him home)

9 Jean: Little brother/rag doll? (He saw you take Joseph home and asks for him back the morning after. NOT because he’s concerned, he just needs his help that day is all. He gets roped into one too many glasses of wine and, well, you can’t just let him go out like that now can you?)

10 Sue: Little sister (She was looking for a rare book online and you told her you had it but she’d have to come over to get it. You weren’t planning on keeping her but after talking a while you couldn’t just let her leave)

11 Jack: Dog/son, Rory: Son, Dan: Dog/little brother (They came looking for Sue and with how badly Sue has been missing them of course you have to bring them in!)

12 Jenny: Daughter (Elias was reminiscing on her flower arrangements and when you stopped by her shop to get some you were enamored)

13 Jacob: Sex doll (He was knocking on doors to try and convince some folks to come to church. You could almost smell how pure he was and just had to see him once he fell)

[terrainofheartfelt]

in the lovely meta about Dan and Jenny you just posted, you said you thought Jenny would give herself a clean break from New York after moving to London

I was wondering how you saw that affecting her relationship with Eric (bc as much as he doesn't act like it, he is from the UES.) Do you picture him moving to London with her?

(btw I'm loving 💘💘 the fic so far. it's fun to catch the little references to my vdB genealogy research (I see you Great Aunt Elsie and Jonathan's distant relation))

oooohhohohohooooo what a question!

but first of all, thank you <333 and thank you so much for your service because I will keep on referencing that genealogy to finish this fic. I owe you my life.

the thought of Jenny & Eric being roommates is very Soft and I like the idea of it a lot, but in this fic and in the meta you reference in the ask, that was not the plan or intention of the au that I wrote. because, simply put, it's a jenate fic, and so it just didn't shake out that way, because the relationship the sereies revolves around is jenny's romantic/platonic/erotic relationship with nate, and not her platonic-soulmatism with eric. and, to bring about the how, when, where, why, why now? of where the sun falls down, Jenny needed to be in London alone.

before I dig in too deep on my Thoughts on this au-verse i so recklessly began constructing last summer, I gotta admit, writing the vdw sibs is hard for me. for a lot of reasons. one being that their upbringing and experience is so vastly different from my own that if I think about it too much I am kinda nervous to address it, and for serena she's is such a different person than I am that when I began writing fic, writing her pov never really occurred to me, and as for eric, his experiences and pain just maybe hit a little too close to home for me to want to dig into it. And on top of ALL of that, both eric and serena were done so dirty by the show, that I kind of feel that they need an extra amount of care given in fic, that I may not have the skill or spoons for.

so with all that being said, that's like, the meta reason Eric is where he is in this series, but my in-universe reasons to make the characterization make sense, is that Eric has to do his own thing for a while too. That's why we see him go to Sarah Lawerence, right? Other than to give Connor Paolo a graceful, soft exeunt from the show (interesting that he, the rich white boi was allowed to go with grace but Jenny and Vanessa's characters had to be destroyed right before they left it's whatevs)

So, in this au, I try to give Eric that, that space to heal and be as self-actualized as he deserves to be, and though I adore Jenny, and I adore their friendship, I think they need to be apart for a little while to give that for themselves.

and part of my opinion on that is my read that they are the closest friendship parallel to blair&serena (dan&vanessa come up second but this ask isn't about them). because, like, they love each other on a level that is deeper than a general friendship. if I may draw a parallel to another soap: they're meredith & cristina, they are each other's Person. and that is a profound relationship to have, but it can also be codependent and draining to put all of yourself into a friendship but that friend is struggling too, so they can't give you anything back, and so your both caught up in this maelstrom of betrayal and hurt feelings, and the only way to fix it is to gain some perspective.

and another parallel is that Jenny and Serena are both people that need to leave New York to find their happy, and Eric and Blair aren't, necessarily -- though they would thrive if they drummed up the courage to leave. so, Eric and Blair have to learn to let their person go, and learn that it's not about them.

I've talked so much I have no idea if this even answers your question, sorry lol. but I think that Jenny moving away would be ultimately beneficial to their relationship. and maybe, after a couple years, I could see Eric coming to England. Oh wait, I just remembered that I did write that once, where Eric does a semester abroad at Cambridge so he and Jenny hang all the time, and antagonize Dan bc he's at Oxford. (it's in this fic)

[hesmiledlikeaweatherman]

If you want a Naruto drabble, how about the sand sibs visiting their parent's toombs after the war or smth? And I said parents, not just mother, cause I still think it unfair that only Gaara got a chance to speak with his father, so might as well give a chance to the other 2 as well.

Sorry if it's angsty, but I like angst.

It’s okay lol, I love some good angst too

It had been far too long since they’d gone to visit their mother. Gaara’s work as Kazekage, Kankuro’s job accompanying his little brother as a bodyguard and confidant, and Temari’s responsibilities between Konoha and Suna had kept them away.

But they had just finished fighting. They had lose more people than could be counted between the allied nations. They had had to confront old mentors, old friends — Gaara still hadn’t come to terms with his father’s explanation, and his acceptance of Gaara’s growth.

It was beyond time for the siblings to go he pay their respects. They had, jointly, given their respect and wishes to those who he passed in battle. To those who had come back and been lost once more. Gaara spoke publicly of seeing his father, the former Kazekage, and assured his people that their previous ruler still wished Suna to flourish, even in death.

Some days after the ceremony, Gaara found himself staring at his siblings across the table. It seemed to have been another sleepless night. Kankuro hadn’t yet donned his makeup, and every day Gaara noticed he looked more and more like Rasa had. Temari hadn’t yet done her hair, and Gaara was reminded, somewhat painfully, about the fact that he’d never seen his mother, and yet could imagine her perfectly based on his sister.

“We should visit them,” his gravelly voice caught their attention, drawing Kankuro’s tired eyes first. “Our parents,”

Temari stared at him, blinking slowly, before giving a small, rare smile. “We should. You know, I don’t think we’ve ever done that before. Not all together, at least.”

“No, I don’t think we have,” Kankuro agreed. “Not that I ever wanted to visit Dad anyway,”

Temari couldn’t help but agree there. “Well, he’s never exactly given us a reason to mourn him. Not really.” But according to Gaara, their father had expressed… regrets. And she felt like she owed it to him to at least go and see his resting place.

“But,” Kankuro got up to rinse out his coffee cup, slowly and stiffly, “it’s also been a while since we saw Mum. I’d like to go tell her about Chiyo-ba,”

Later that day, after the sun had passed its peak over the village, they set out towards the Memorials. Temari carried a small ornate box, one that had belonged to their mother, inside of which she’d put offerings of their parents’ favourite foods to leave. 

Kankuro carried a picture of their family -- two, actually, that he’d framed together. One of the two of them with their parents, when Karura had been heavily pregnant, and the other of Rasa and the three children. 

Lastly, Gaara had two hardy little potted cacti to leave for them. A male and a female, he’d explained, meaning there was a chance for them to propogate. Temari wasn’t sure whether he meant it as something wholesome between their parents, or if he was furthering his agenda to make Suna a more green environment. She was almost afraid to ask. 

“Hello, Father,” They arrived at the Kazekage memorial first. An intimidating structure, it was meant to represent the losses of all four former Kazekage so far -- Rasa included. 

Temari knelt down in front of it, clearing a space between the many other offerings that the villagers tended to bring. Whether it be holidays, the days they died, anniversaries of battles long gone, or any small significant happening in people’s lives, they tended to come and leave something for the former leaders. It was a ritual, and one that most took very seriously. 

“Should we, um --” Kankuro shifted awkwardly behind her. He’d always been the sibling with the worst relationship with their father, in the fact that they’d barely had one at all. “Should we clean it up a bit? I don’t know. We’re supposed to do that when we visit, right?” 

“Traditionally, I suppose,” Gaara was carefully surveying the piles of gifts that littered the area, “but I think it’s taken care of more than enough here.” 

Being the grave for all four previous Kazekage, it was a well patronised and attended place within the gravesites, and always well tended to. 

Kankuro and Gaara knelt down next to Temari when she placed out Rasa’s meal. A small jar of salty pickled plums that she knew he was fond of, next to a bowl of rice, and some preserved meats. It was basic, and hardy, and those tended to be the things he gravitated most towards in a community where the only abundances were sand and tragedy. 

Next to it, Gaara placed his potted cactus, pretending not to notice how Temari had stiffened, and Kankuro placed the photo of the three children with him. 

“Are we meant to pray?” He asked, hands going to his knees as he sat strangely rigid. 

“I don’t know,” Gaara could barely remember attending his mother’s grave with Yashamaru as a child, and Baki certainly hadn’t interfered on their visits. 

“We could just talk,” Temari suggested, unsure herself, really. She wasn’t even sure what one did while praying. “Tell him where we are in life. Ask him questions? Not that we’ll get answers --”

“Not that we ever did,” Kankuro’s laugh was a little bitter. 

Gaara pursed his lips. “Well,” he began, “you know, Father, that I’m Kazekage now. I know you didn’t want that. I know you didn’t want me. But here I am -- and I am a good leader.”

“He is,” Temari added, “he cares for everyone, and Suna is flourishing compared to how we grew up.” 

“I was asked to lead the Puppeteer Corps,” Rasa had never approved of Kankuro’s decision to join them in the first place. “So suck it.”

“We all have friends. Our Nation has allies. We fought a war and we won. And I’m glad you died, otherwise we never would have any of those things.” 

They sat in quiet for a few moments after Temari’s admission. 

“Same,” Kankuro sighed. “Sometimes I wish he hadn’t, and then I remember what he was like, and I feel bad for it.” 

Gaara nodded in agreement, and stood, prompting them to follow him. Next stop was Karura, which would both be a harder and an easier visit for all three. 

Temari took the centre again, kneeling down and using provided supplies to start cleaning her gravestone. It was a smaller place, just a little white rock with her name engraved on it. 

Once they had scrubbed the dust and sand from its surface and polished it as best they could with the minimal allotted water, they took their places on their knees and made their offerings. 

Temari was the only one of the three with proper memories of their mother, and even those were waning with age. “Mama,” She started, “we miss you. Still. Every day,” 

“I wish we got to have you for longer,” Kankuro bowed his head, “I wish I remembered you.” 

“I’m sorry it’s my fault you died. And I’m sorry I killed Yashamaru, too,” 

“Your death broke Father. And now we all hate him. It’s not your fault, but I wish you’d been there to help us,” 

“People kept coming back to life. I had to fight Sasori again, and I had to fight Chiyo-ba, and I’m so glad I never had to fight you too. I couldn’t have done it,” 

“The world is so much kinder than I believed it was. And Yashamaru told me you hated me, but Father said you loved me, and you gave me my name.” 

The three of them took turns with their mother. They divulged to her their secrets. Their accomplishments. Their wins, and their prides. 

Gaara told her all about his garden, and how he hoped in unity with Konoha they’d be able to start growing plants to feed Suna in the harsher climate. 

Kankuro showed her his puppets, and his threads, and he sat more comfortably while he taught Gaara how to play cat’s cradle using their chakra, while they let Temari take a final turn without their listening. 

“Theres a boy in Konoha, Mother,” Temari confided quietly, “and I hate him so much. But I think I want to marry him.” She ran a hand through her hair, pushing it back, “I wish you were here to help me figure this out. We never got a mother after you, and Baki was great... but not a mother.”

She huffed, and tilted her head to the side, eyes narrowing at the stone in what many would think to be a glare, but more like a cat, was actually Temari showing her vulnerability, “I’ll keep you updated on the stupid boy. I promise.” 

[hythlodaeus-mynewoldfriend]

👎 = Is there anyone in your muse’s family they dislike, why? For anyone who can answer!

Thank you for asking! Sorry this took a hot second but I got a little long so apologies.

The only one I can really answer for is Siberite as she has a fairly strong dislike for her father. She still loves the man, that's never questioned but he was so cold and distant since her brother passed and was the most adamant about her forgetting him and acting like he never existed that it just never sat well with her. Please also keep in mind that Sib was 6-7 years old when her brother passed and was told to forget him. Like her mother was controlling and hovered but she was at least involved in Siberite’s life. So she really wasn’t a fan of the man but this turned into a huge dislike that she hasn’t really processed yet when he sat her and mom down and revealed the truth of her brother’s death.

Her brother became a conscript in the Garlean army after he and Khutula got caught in a show of force while traveling Othard for some research. Had her father listened to Khutula and gathered a few men they could have gotten him out along with others, but her father didn’t. There were so many chances to get her brother back if he chose to do something rather than proclaim him dead because he had no hope for saving him.

Like I have to emphasize that money is pretty much a no issue for these people and her father didn't even bother to try to save him by force or bribing the guards there. This man attempted nothing and kept this information hidden from not only his daughter but his wife also. While Khutula stayed with them, this man threatened him to keep his mouth shut about it and it was only obeyed because Khutula felt bigger loyalty to Sib and promised her brother that he'd be there for her, he was also unsure how much Sib's mother would believe or if she'd just go with whatever her husband said since she was just as accepting of the lie and allowing Palladium to be erased from their lives.

Again Siberite was a small child when he got conscripted and her father told her to forget he ever existed or if she did ask he would say he didn't know who she was talking about she didn't have a brother, just an imaginary friend etc. like just anything to help keep up with the erasure of Palladium from their lives. Don't get me wrong Sib knows and was also unhappy about how her mother allowed for this kind of gaslighting to happen but her mother still showed some kind of emotions regarding her son's death and she was kept in the dark about what actually happened too so she can't blame her mother as much.

Her brother lived for about another 6 years or so until finally dying in a battle in an unknown location, so really there was time her father could have tried something. On top of that her father decided to tell her and her mother about this truth just before Siberite and the Scions were to depart for their final battle in Endwalker and then tried to shift blame from his lack of doing anything to the one person that didn't let Sib forget about him even if she has so few memories of her brother and the one man that did try to go by himself to save Palladium even though it wasn't successful.

So while Siberite still loves her father, she's having a time trying to cope and come to terms with what he's done even if there were some good intentions behind his actions. They were never close to begin with but he's wanting to change that and be better, its just going to be a struggle because she's still unhappy about him.

[dreamwritesimagines]

It’s CMA-

I forgot two things since I was so upset lmfao: first of all, I see that chanthony slip in there👀 they were totally doing that thing where they’re both way too cautious/oblivious/nervous to start anything, but I agree that after the duel they’re going to totally get together.

Oh my god between Simon and daphne being caught in a scandal and now benedict and clover- I wonder if Charlotte and Anthony will be too lmao. Like imagine the heart attack lady bridgerton will have lmaooooo like why have I raised my children so poorly.

But the other bridgerton sibs are going to be roasting them about this for the rest of their lives. And whenever they’re going to get in trouble they’re just going to be like ‘hey mom at least I wasn’t a part of the great trifecta of scandals in that one season’ LMAO can you imagine???

Also anthony being honor bound to wed Charlotte- it being a reminder of his duty, of what he is going to have to leave behind. THE ANGST!! THE DRAMA!! And Charlotte wouldn’t understand why he’d be so torn/distancing himself and wondering if it was her.

This isn’t even canon yet and I’m already losing my fucking mind.

Okay the other thing I wanted to say was that Josie and clover remind me of petal and her sister in twisted!!! I know we haven’t met her yet but just the overprotective older sister vibes and the ability to be a lot tougher/meaner than the younger sister, plus the feeling that they must protect their younger siblings/failed them when they got hurt by their parents.

As a bonus, teddy is totally the equivalent of petal’s niece

Fuck I am losing my mind over every single detail in this story it is so fucking good (I’m not surprised because it’s you and your stuff is always amazing, but I am relishing it)

also I feel like I’m way more invested in every single detail than I was in enamored idk why lol. Maybe clover is more relatable??

also I feel like those hour long YouTube videos going in depth on a single tv episode or whatever, and meanwhile everyone else is like ‘maybe the curtains really are just blue and it doesn’t mean anything’ lmao

I need another word besides also. Every time I send an ask I use that word 20 million times lmao but that’s just the equivalent of me rambling on without a plan I guess lol

Omg omgggg❤️❤️

I feel like the duel will definitely serve as a wake up call for them 😍

Wait, are we calling them Chanthony or Lothany by the way? 😁

Lolll Clover and Benedict starting this season's scandal marriages 😂

‘hey mom at least I wasn’t a part of the great trifecta of scandals in that one season’ I AM DYING AT THIS-

Darling this is hilarious! 😂 Someone would definitely say it, and both Anthony and Benedict would be glaring at them 😂

Oooh Anthony being honor bound to wed Charlotte! That would be very interesting! Like, I think Charlotte is such a sweet romantic, so she would be so confused as to why he all of a sudden got a bit distant with her 😱 But he can never be distant with her for so long so eventually -before the wedding- he would open up to her 🥰

I totally see what you mean with Josie! Like, she's definitely much tougher than Clover and very protective of her, just like Mina was with Petal ❤️

Awww this is so sweet of you! 🥰🥰 ILYSM!❤️

I feel like those hour long YouTube videos going in depth on a single tv episode or whatever, and meanwhile everyone else is like ‘maybe the curtains really are just blue and it doesn’t mean anything’ My love, I majored in literature, the curtains are never just blue for me 😂❤️ Symbolism my beloved 😂

I'm the sameeee! I use "like" and "also" a lot so no worries, I get you 😂😂