#and its really embarrassing to say that the reason all these like moments of insecurity happen is because my mutuals. have friends

[qoldenskies]

Think the biggest thing about the family meeting for me is that it's literally just mean. They sit there berating Donnie until he cries. There's a supposed reason for the meeting, but Raph literally says that they're moving on to "serious talk" when they start discussing his "behavior." That entire segment of them tearing him down is literally just for their enjoyment. It's not vindictive in the way their physical abuse of him is, not as calculated as the closet situation. It's literally them just being flat out fucking mean because they're having fun doing it.

The fact that they especially poke at his autism is devastating. It's painful by itself (one of the biggest things people tend to praise about Rise when it comes to ND rep is that the brothers have literally never treated him as a burden because of who he is), but you've mentioned before that Donnie is really the one who suffers from the ND "my identity belongs to the people" experience. He uses his technology to make up for what he sees as deficits. But he's been told that not only does his "useless junk" not make up for his existence, but they absolutely hate those traits as much as he'd feared. I've always kind of thought that this was an underlying fear he never mentioned in Witch Town, mostly because it feels like a very ND struggle: it wasn't just the thought of being replaced by mystic that scared him, but the thought that all his tech, all his effort, had become not enough to make up for his living. Except in CC he can think back to what April said and think "You were wrong. You were wrong and I'm sorry for everything."

the fact that their words prey on a pre-existing insecurity is what makes it so HARD to undo.... like YES they can convince donnie that they DO love him, and that he didn't deserve to be lied to and hit and gaslit and abused, but the problem is that donnie heard all of these attacks on his character, and his behavior, and his sense of self was so fragile that even with the knowledge of the curse in mind, he continues to BELIEVE what they said is true. there are some moments where he intentionally holds himself back later down the line in CL, but after the final attack especially its so noticeable. he's so much less verbose. he speaks like he's embarrassed to be speaking. they've noted that so much of his cute little verbal quirks are gone and that he doesn't sound like himself.

it's because he's completely embarrassed with himself and what he used to be. he doesn't miss how things were, his grief is long gone; he feels ashamed for living in that illusion that he was in any way accepted, thinking he'd always just been embarrassing himself and his family without knowing it. his confidence was so fragile that it really only took something like the family meeting to DESTROY it; but to be fair, they wouldn't have gotten away with it day one because he is on the default defensive, but the anger had already been squashed completely and he was on to bargaining at that point.

and they knewwww godddd they knew. they all knew!

they watched themselves around him!! they always made sure not to go too far when they made fun of him!!! they understood how quick he was to disappear back into himself when he felt rejected and they worked around it because they loved him!!! they KNEW!!!!!

and the curse makes them take advantage of the fact that they knew!! what's so horrifying about the family meeting is that they KNEW how donnie was going to respond, they KNEW it would break him, and they KNEW they were going to get away with it, and they did it anyway because they thought it was funny.

and i dont even think they planned it out, especially apparent by the way raph ended up shutting it down. leo jumped on the opportunity and they just joined in the moment they got the chance to like sharks smelling blood in the water. it meant nothing to them, it wasn't an intentional, planned choice to get revenge or question his sense of reality. honestly, it was probably just them voicing all the shit they said behind his back (some to april.... yikes), and that's one of the things leo was scared about donnie SEEING because it was probably way more vicious. they had zero filter when they talked ABOUT him, because even through the curse there would still be the natural instinct to protect his feelings.

[vse-kar-vem]

weekly breakdown post 😁 none of you hate me right !

[angelicblondie]

luke x princess!reader

cw: alcohol consumption, tipsy kissing

ok, fine, you could admit it.

you were jealous.

and you knew there was so reason to be. you and luke were friends, best friends, but still just friends.

so why did it bother you so much to see him talking to another girl?

the weird part is that this wasn't even the first time. you had seen luke flirt with tons of the girls here at camp, it wasn't new.

but for some reason, this time it made your blood boil.

luke was sitting by the campfire next to grace mcormick from athena cabin. stupid grace, you thought, except you knew she wasn't stupid. in fact, she was really smart, and pretty, and good with a sword. and shes annabeths sister, which already gave her a one up on you. because as much as you and annabeth were close, you weren't her actual sister, not like grace was.

and its not like you were insecure. not to brag, but you didn't really have much to be insecure about. you were a daughter of aphrodite (which guaranteed beauty and grace), you were pretty popular, and you were well trained with your own dagger. and it also wasn't like you got no male attention, you definitely got some.

so why did it bother you so much?

grace threw her stupid head back as she laughed at one of his stupid jokes, and you felt anger boil inside your chest. so what, hes making other girls laugh now?

you knew you were being irrational, and it was probably due to the red cup with some sort of alcoholic beverage in it, but you couldn't help it.

you knew luke was allowed to flirt, to kiss, to do whatever with whoever. but it didn't stop what you were all the sudden feeling.

jealously. red, hot, angry jealously.

"you good?" the voice of a child of ares, aaron, snaps you out of your envious trance as you sigh, taking another drink.

"fine," you mumble, turning to him. he has a confident smile on his face, his eyes flickering from the scene at the campfire back to your face.

he chuckles, "really? then why are you staring at them like you want to kill 'em?"

you sigh and cover your face with your free hand in embarrassment. "you saw that?"

he laughs again. "yeah, i saw that. but dont worry, dont think anyone else saw," you sigh in relief, "but, i mean, i only really noticed 'cause i was looking at you, so..."

oh. hes flirting.

you tilt your head at him, as if considering him. you could admit that he was attractive. he had brown hair and brown eyes, and he had a muscular build (which is expected of children of ares). from what you had seen, he was pretty funny, and confident - all of which you were attracted to.

but, you truly couldn't help it as a little voice nagged in the back of your mind - he isn't luke.

sensing you weren't going to say anything, aaron nodded his head towards the campfire. "so, whats goin' on with that? you n'luke".

you take a sip of your drink, shrugging, looking in that direction for a moment. "we're friends, i guess," you reply distractedly.

aaron hums. "so, he wouldn't mind that m'talkin' to you, right?"

you let out a giggle, though it feels forced. "no, of course not."

you don't let yourself look back at luke again, and instead try and focus on adrian - or was it aaron? you couldn't exactly remember, but you were conversing with him, and it wasn't unpleasant.

he was pretty nice, and easy to talk to you. he even made you laugh a few times. so when he suggested that the two of you get out of there, you decided to accept his offer.

he led you to a tree away from the gathering, and before you knew it, the two of you were kissing. alex-sorry, aaron, was going all in, tongue and all, and whilst you tried to get into it - you just couldn't. you remember luke at the campfire with grace, and you wondered if they had snuck away to do the same thing you were, and instead of your previous anger, you felt your heart ache with sadness. you didn't want luke to be kissing other girls, you wanted to be the only one. with that realization your eyelashes fluttered open and your eyes became glassy, so you pushed aaron off.

he looked at you confused, and maybe a bit annoyed. "what? what happened."

you felt guilt stir in your stomach. "i-im so sorry, i just cant." you begin running away, feeling not only sad, but embarrassed and confused.

eventually, you run into someone, and you look up to see luke.

"hey, i was just look- why are you crying?" he asks, interrupting himself.

you cover you face as a sob wracks your body. "im fine."

his hands grab your shoulders. "ok, your obviously not fine. just tell me."

you shake your head and remove your hands from your eyes. "nothing, i just feel stupid." you say quietly, wiping mascara stained tears off your cheeks.

luke sighs and looks around, realizing that there are other people around, so he takes you away from the crowd and into one of the empty cabins.

he closes the door behind him and looks are you expectantly. "does this have something to do with that ares kid you walked off with?"

you snap your head towards him with a confused expression. "what? no - well, kinda but, no," you groan and sit on a bed, "no, anthony - i mean, aaron, he was nice."

luke raised his brows at you. "you dont even know this kids name?" he asks, sounding critical. "and nice isn't really a characteristic of an ares kid, princess. besides, i know the kid, and hes a dick." he explains, crossing his arms.

you narrow your brows as you look up at him. "well, he was nice to me." you didnt know why you were acting like that. you had barely talked to the guy, and you trusted what luke was saying. maybe you wanted to make him jealous, the way he did.

he scoffs. "yeah, and that explains why your crying." he purses his lips, and takes a deep breath. you could tell he felt a little bad for being direct with you, so his expression softened up. "you should just stay away from him."

you let out a huff of indignation, standing up. "i wasnt crying because of him, ok, i was just frustrated," you explain, crossing your own arms, "and since when do you tell me what to do? i can make my own choices, y'know."

he sighs, running his hands down his face. "look, im sorry it came off like that, im just trying to protect you. your my best friend, obviously i care about you."

you scoff. "oh really? didnt look that way when you were basically drooling at grace all night."

luke steps back and raises his brows at you, his expression of mild frustration relaxing.

as if realizing how your words came across, you fold your lips inwards and look away.

"you're jealous," luke states. it wasnt a question, and he wasnt leaving room for debate. it was a fact. you were jealous.

"no," you splutter, backtracking. "of course not."

a smug smile makes its way to his features. "yes, you are. you're jealous."

more tears come into your eyes. he thinks its funny? "get over yourself luke, gods," you cross your arms and turn your head. "im glad its amusing to you," you sniff, before walking towards the door.

he grabs your wrist to pull you back. "no, no, thats not how i meant it. i-," he laughs a little, "gods, im sorry, princess, its not funny. its just...the whole reason i was even talking to grace was because i wanted to make you jealous." your eyes widen in realization, and you're left speechless.

"a-and i know how stupid that is, and i didnt think it would go this far but...i dont know, im sorry, princess, really."

its silent for a moment before you look up at him. hes looking down at you with so much affection, and admiration, that you cant help yourself but raise on your tippy toes and place a gentle kiss on his lips.

lukes hands immediately grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, and yours cupped his sharp jaw. your lips moved harmoniously against each other, and something about it felt just so right. after a few long seconds, you pull away and look up at him, your lashes fluttering.

you giggle then bite your lip. "gods, im a idiot." you mumble.

he chuckles. "no your not. i am. i should've just...i dont know, not tried to make you jealous."

you giggle. "well, now you know."

and without a single complaint, you and luke spent the rest of the night kissing in the empty cabin, whispering new promises to each other - including to never make the other jealous ever again.

[calmcoldevening]

Would you please write some first time sex HC with Art the Clown and a virgin female reader? How would he initiate or how would he be seeing as he’s her first?

Sure, sugar! Hope you'll like it 🍬

First time sex with Art the clown headcanons

Tw: adult content, smut, mention of blood, but mostly I tried to make it soft and comfy. No minors, sugar

• Most of the time, he has rather strange and somewhat childish ways of showing love. Although the fact that he didn't kill you already says a lot.

• Usually he just looks at you and smiles his trademark creepy smile, although in fact there are a lot of unspoken emotions hidden behind those crazy burning eyes. For you, his heart burns endlessly in a constant stream of childish joy and desire to protect.

• Art likes to come up to you while you're sitting, for example, on the couch in the living room and watching a movie, and put his head on your lap. His fingers dig firmly but gently into the flesh of your soft thighs, causing you to blush deeply and bite your lower lip. But there is nothing vulgar about it. Art just wants your gentle human warmth. Most of the time, his hands and bodies are cold, so he's crazy about the heat of your skin. Especially when you're embarrassed.

• He will be flattered by the fact that he is your first in many ways, indeed. He likes this feeling of possessiveness and an almost animal right to possess. Despite its somewhat childishness and intensity, Art doesn't put any pressure on you. He very often listens to your opinion and takes care of you in his own way.

• Art can be serious if he really wants to, and in the depths of his sadistic heart, he understands this perfectly well.

• It's not that this demon has any desire other than the feeling of itching on his skin from the desire to kill and shed blood. But over time, Art notices that he is increasingly watching couples in love. Very often, he kills teenagers or young people fucking at the wrong time in the wrong place. But he doesn't admire it in any way. He is interested in watching this. And in the place of this red-haired girl, Art involuntarily introduces you.

• Would you make the same sounds? They would probably be even more beautiful with you. What kind of face would you have at that moment? Would you moan his name or vice versa, try to hold back every gentle sound and meow?

• He was interested in getting to know this side of the human body.

• That's why, right after returning home after another murder, Art found you in the kitchen. A man came up close to you from behind and wrapped his arms around your waist with a firm grip. His lips, painted with black lipstick, instantly found your neck, kissing and gently biting the skin. You blushed instantly, feeling your heartbeat quicken.

• "Art.. What are you doing?" Of course you knew what he was doing. No wonder you often thought about this kind of dirty stuff when your boyfriend was at work. But it's one thing to dream, and another to do it. You weren't ready at all.

• Art continued to kiss your flesh, hinting at what he wants. He wanted you to show him this, to let him feel this strange feeling of two bodies together. For some reason, he was carried away by the idea that you know what to do. Or at least your body knows.

• What was his surprise when you not only did not respond to his caresses, but also quietly whimpered because of a sudden feeling of fear and insecurity.

• Art immediately stepped back and gently but insistently turned you around to face him, pressing your lower back against the kitchen set. You felt how unpleasantly the T-shirt stuck to your body from the blood that soaked it. Art will gently take your face in his hands, caressing your cheeks and wiping tears from your skin. His silent way of dumping what happened to you.

• "..scared." The only word that comes out of your mouth. After standing in silence for a while, Art finally connects all the dots and his face is decorated with a devilish grin. He leans closer, wanting to take you in another passionate embrace, but you gently push him away from you. "Please.. take the blood away."

• Art frowns and visibly sulks, but obeys, retiring to the bathroom. It gives you some time to catch your breath and mentally prepare. You're nervously biting your lip in anticipation.

• Although you desperately wanted to let your boyfriend see this side of you and show him your love, the unknown scared you. And you didn't want to disappoint him in any way. These thoughts gnawed at you in the most unpleasant way.

• When Art cleaned and dried his suit, he found you in the bedroom. His knowledge was also limited, but unlike you, because of his inhuman nature, he just wasn't afraid of something so simple. He literally killed people. And yet, the sight of you, so vulnerable and scared, made the 'heart' shrink uncomfortably, which he really didn't like.

• He came over to your bed and sat on the edge of it, looking up at you. His gloved hand took yours and pulled you into his lap. His fingers gently dug into your hips, tasting the pleasant sensation, and a satisfied grin appeared on his face. Perhaps he was trying to cheer you up somehow. You leaned forward and gently covered his lips with yours. Both of you have significantly improved your kissing skills since the last time, so his tongue alone was already making you dizzy. The kiss was slow and soft, Art's fingers gently stroking your thighs.

• After a couple of minutes, you leaned back, looking down at your boyfriend and catching your heated breath. You carefully took one of his hands with your own and put his palm on your chest, nervously biting your lip and nodding as if giving permission. Art blinked a little, but later smiled contentedly, squeezing the soft flesh under his fingers. He saw how scared and awkward you were, so he wanted to do it surprisingly carefully and slowly, although his own knowledge was limited to spying on fucking teenagers.

• Art pulled off your T-shirt, throwing it on the floor, and reverently gently ran his cold hands along your sides.

• Dark eyes burning with a primal hunger. With a swift motion, he lifts your skirt, exposing your bare thighs to his leering gaze. Art's long, pale fingers dig into your soft flesh, squeezing and kneading as if to claim you very essence.He hooks a thumb under your lacy underwear, yanking it aside to reveal the virgin petals, glistening with nervous moisture. Art's lips part in a silent, mocking grin, relishing your vulnerability. One gloved hand trails lower, fingers splaying across your slick heat as he rubs slow, deliberate circles.

• His painted mouth gently presses against your neck, leaving noticeable bite marks and black paint on your skin. He was clearly filled with a desire to mark you as his own. Art's desire grows, although the grin never leaves his face for a moment. The tension in your pants is almost painful. He carefully removes the glove from his left hand and gently runs his fingers along the curve of your heated thigh. Finally, he finds the coveted moist warmth by dipping one finger into it with a wet squish. You nervously bite your lip, trying to hold back the tears that have appeared in your eyes. Art kisses your neck and chin, caresses your sweat-soaked skin with his tongue and lips. The stretch around his fingers is so slight that Art wonders mentally how his dick would fit inside you. Without thinking twice, he dips another finger, and then another and another. Although your walls are still damn wet and hot, almost hungry.

• Art's fingers slow their rough exploration as he senses your increasing unease. He gentles his touch, caressing your thighs with tender strokes, as if trying to soothe any lingering nerves. He continues his deliberate advances, guiding one of your legs to wrap around his waist as he positions himself at your hot entrance. With a calculated slowness, Art begins to push inside, relishing each tiny resistance and the subsequent surrender of your innocence. He pauses often, allowing you to adjust to the intrusion, all while maintaining a hypnotic, unblinking stare. Once he's fully sheathed within you, Art's expression remains stoic, belying the depraved satisfaction he derives from your virgin heat and whimpers. He begins to move, setting a rhythm that's both brutal and methodical, his pale face a mask of concentration as he claims your body with a single-minded focus.

• His movements are slow, almost gentle. He gently squeezes your sides, allowing you to lean against him, and showers kisses on your face and hair.

• Gradually, his movements accelerate, his brain melts from the thrill of such a hot moment. But his mind is still focused on you. The way you sound, the way you feel, the way you feel good. He feels you pulsating and shrinking around him, and tries to rub as hard as possible against that strange point inside you from which, as he realized, you see the stars. Despite his inhuman nature, he was surprisingly absolutely focused on wanting to please you. He wanted you to feel good only with him. To make you feel good.

• When you cum around his cock with a short moan, Art gently presses you to him, splashing streams of hot semen into you and just catching his breath. His lips are kissing your neck, and his hand is stroking your wet hair. His way of saying 'good girl.'

[q1ngqve]

What if Ratio's s/o is feeling a little insecure about herself and Ratio's like "Are you saying I have bad taste? 🤨 Quite dumb of you to say. Allow me to show you how much I adore you..."

Fingers his s/o to the point where she squirts, and then stuffing his cock inside her cunny while whispering about how much he loves her...

"perfection is not defined by arbitrary standards imposed by society. true beauty emanates from authenticity, and you, my love, possess an authenticity that shines brighter than any star in the cosmos."

CW; insecure reader, fingering, squirting, overstimulation, penetration (v)

he'd be offended (lowkey) because he thinks very highly of you! so don’t blame him when he frowns, a slight downward tilt on his lips as he asks why you would ever feel / think this way

"are you saying I have bad taste? quite dumb of you to say so." despite his harsh words, his tone is soft and comforting, wrapping his arms around you in the process, head resting on your shoulder

you are literally the most amazing person he's ever met (I would say perfect but he knows nobody is perfect), he just couldn't wrap his head around your reasons for being insecure, but he understands that everybody has their low days, and it just so happens to be yours!

and what good is he as your boyfriend if he doesn't cheer you up and show you just how beautiful you are to him?

plants kisses on the side of your neck lovingly, and you giggle softly as his hair tickles you, making him chuckle between his kisses. separates himself from you before grabbing your wrists and leads you to the bed, gesturing for you to lie down

"god, you are beautiful."

leans down to kiss you passionately, tongue running along your bottom lip as he removes your pants, flinging it to the side of the room. you pull back to catch your breath a few seconds later, eyes flickering away from his intense gaze. his red eyes burning straight through the wall you built, staring right into the deepest part of your soul, and you suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable

"I'm not..."

your boyfriend's head shakes, a sigh leaving him, "then allow me to prove you otherwise, show you just how much I adore you." your eyes meet his once again, and you feel your cheeks heating up at his statement

with a small nod of head as consent, his hand reaches for your face, cupping your cheek for a moment before moving down to your neck, to your collar bones, his mouth following after the trail he left behind

you squirm in place, feeling extremely insecure about yourself, today really isn't your day. he notices this almost immediately, and distracts you by sucking on your nipple through your shirt, letting his warm tongue prod at the perky bud

whines leave your lips as his hands trail further down, dipping in your damp panties, drawing slow, sensual circles on your clit with his middle finger, "ratio..."

your body tenses when a finger slips in, "stunning. absolutely stunning." a breathy laugh escapes him as your hands fly to the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss him fervently, "feels good, hmm?"

another finger joins the first, embarrassing squelching sounds fill the room as he pumps them into you with precision, hitting all your sensitive spots. it doesn't take long before you come undone on his fingers, and you feel a shudder run down your body when he smiles, "one more."

he doesn't give you the chance to calm down, plunging his fingers back in, and you clench around him, hard. the overstimulation making your head go empty, all negative thoughts of your body leaving your brain

when he hits that one spongy spot deep in you, your nails instinctively dig into his shoulders, successfully making your boyfriend smirk at your reaction

"wait— slow down! or I'm gonna—"

and of course he doesn't heed your warning, pushing and curling his fingers at a faster pace, thumb rubbing your clit, the occasional brush of his ring leaves your knees weak, your hips bucking on its own accord, trying to get that delicious friction again

a sudden warmth fills your core, your brain shutting down, and all you could hear was white noise buzzing inside you, your legs clenching together with his arm still between them

ratio curses under his breath at the sight before him — you with your back arched, eyes closed, mouth open, hips grinding against his hand as you ride out your high. he knew you were cumming, but he did not expect you to squirt, drenching his lower arm with your juices, the wetness shining under the bedroom light

your legs are pushed apart as you feel him climb between them, the clanking sound of his belt falling to the ground has you opening your eyes. you find yourself whining his name pathetically at the sight of him stroking his erect dick, the tip red and angry, curving at a slight angle with his veins looking like they may burst anytime

"apologies, my dear, but my patience is running out."

air gets knocked out of your lungs the moment he pushes all the way to the hilt, pulling a scream out from you. your body shakes uncontrollably from the overstimulation, hands desperately clawing at his chest and shoulders, trying to ground yourself with all your might

his hands grab at your hips, lifting you up slightly to thrust into you better as he kisses you again, this time so hard and rushed that your teeth clanks at some point. he'd pull away when you push at him, almost suffocating from the kiss, and you'd watch with tears in your eyes as he grits his teeth, jaw flexing each time he hits your cervix, soft grunts sounding at the back of his throat with each thrust

"you. are. absolutely. phenomenal." each word comes out hoarsely with each thrust, "every inch of you, perfection." tears stream down your face at his words, tiny gasps of whatever insecurities leave your body, "and don't you ever forget that."

you feel your pussy spasming around him, you're so so near to the edge, and you know he will he send you over with ease — angling his hips at the perfect angle, his own high approaching with each spasm of your warm gummy walls

"fuck— cum with me, please."

and you tense, gripping down on him like a vice, barely registering his groan of your name against your neck as you fall over the edge yet again. spurts of hot liquid fill your insides, leaving you a whimpering, crying mess under him. your boyfriend above you pants against your neck, his arms giving out slightly to press his body weight on you, trapping you beneath him, the weight and heat a comforting anchor for you to come back down

it takes a few minutes for the both of you to recover, and when you do, he's already kissing your collarbones, hands kneading your body softly, massaging at the red hand prints of his grip on your hips from before

sobs leave you unexpectedly as you wrap your arms around him, breaking down against his chest, wetting the fabric there. ratio's hands reach for your hair, pushing the fringe on your face back behind your ear, his thumb brushing the stray tears away from your eyes

soft tenderness appears in his own eyes as he leans closer to you, forehead touching yours, "while I may not fully comprehend the intricacies of your emotions, rest assured that my commitment to you remains unwavering. you are the reason my heart beats with such fervor, and you are cherished beyond measure."

you break into small giggles as more tears pour, and your hand reaching up to cup his face when you notice his nose and eyes turning red, tears welling in those beautiful shades of red and purple

"I love you."

[boydepartment]

weird cat guy- nishimura riki x reader

a/n: THIS WAS REQUESTED BY @angrybananapolice I HOPE ITS OKAY <3

request: can i req a comfort kinda fluff with Riki? reader is that kind of friend who's like a side character in her own life. Like, she isn't known by her name, she's known as her best friend's friend. You get me? so basically, reader isn't recognised a lot but then Riki somehow waltzes into her life blah blah thats all on you and then they kiss at the end because :)

warnings: cursing, insecurity, angst, comfort, fluff, kinda romcom

wc- 600-800 words

MASTERLIST

in school you were pretty invisible, you didn’t talk much and when you did your friend would accidentally overshadow you. you don’t think she meant to, it just happened.

it was really frustrating you inside but you never were going to say anything. at the end of the day school wasn’t forever and you could move on with your life in a couple years max. there was no reason to make a scene or beg for attention.

that’s how your life was, blending into the background. who were you to change it?

when you walked to school with your friend you listened to her go on and on about some annoying guy in her dms. you thought she didn’t realize how lucky she was for people to actually have a romantic interest in her. you had a feeling something like this would never happen to you. a guy making a fool of himself to gain your attention? funny.

“he was so annoying all he did was yap!” you felt her hand on your shoulder. you couldn’t help but laugh along, no matter how you were feeling- she had a point.

“he really did sound like a yapper.” you started to joke with her as she continued.

“and his instagram was a little odd too! wait look!”

you watched as she pulled up his instagram, you both spent time poking fun and giggling. it was almost like middle school again.

until you got to the school building, then you faded in the background. you loved your best friend just not at school. she talked to way more people and left you by yourself socially. she would drag you around and then not truly include you.

and that’s how you’d spend your days, doodling on your math notes, messing with your shoes under the desk, and trying not to fall asleep. rinse and repeat…

however one thing did happen, on your walk home you were alone because your friend got invited to a study hall.

“i’m sorry y/n… will you be okay on your way home?”

you nodded and smiled at her, forced, “yeah of course! don’t worry about it!”

you started your journey home by yourself, at this point you should’ve gotten used to it. being alone. it was almost tranquil and you felt like nothing could ruin this moment for you. no school, no stress anymore, no-

“PLEASE STOP THAT CAT!”

when you looked up you saw a cat and a lanky figure sprinting towards you, the cat jumped on you and scared you so bad you fell over. the guy toppling down with you.

“what the hell!?” you yelled grabbing your head.

the boy looked at you, “i was trying to get that cat! i wanted him!”

you tried to stop the dizziness, “go to a shelter then, you psycho!”

the guy stood up and grabbed your hands to help you up, “that’s too easy!”

you finally looked at him and he was astonishingly attractive, “you’re crazy!” you looked away from him, now embarrassed. you barely talked to people, let alone attractive people. this was so embarrassing! and it was the hot guy’s fault!

“i’m sorry for knocking you over!” he exclaimed, “listen how can i make it up to you!” he stood there tapping his foot.

you grabbed your bag off the floor, “by leaving me alone.”

“come on! i totally knocked you over! well technically the cat did then i tripped over you but that’s not the point!”

you looked at him again, “you can leave me alone and stop being weird towards stray cats.”

at that, you walked away quickly passed him. god knows what that weirdo does on his free time. chasing cats? what a dork.

the next day was like clockwork, you enjoyed your bestfriends company until school, then you lost her. school and your studies were boring- it was a review week.

you sat down at your desk for lunch, your best friend sitting by you but not with you.

“oh y/n what do-“ everytime she tried to talk to you, someone else took her attention. if you tried to talk, someone talked over you.

you learned your lesson quickly.

“i heard that cute guy has been peeking into the classrooms today!” one of her friends exclaimed. one thing you learned was that listening and noting things was key to at least trying to enjoy the social aspect of school. you didn’t have to be involved.

“which one?” your best friend asked. everyone looked at your friend.

“that cat boy! he always chases cats and birds!”

you found yourself giggling slightly, that was ironic. what are the odds?

your best friend gasped, “oh him! he is so cute!”

they started talking amongst themselves until you heard giggling and gasping. probably some arm smacking too. which was typical in the gossip circle.

“oh my gosh it’s him! (b/f/n) he’s probably going to go over to you! what if he asks you out!”

yeah probably. you knew how this was going to play out. she’d go out with him, probably get the ick, then he’d have a bad rep because he fumbled with the school’s flower.

it was then more silent than usual and you had a box of chocolates thrown on your desk.

you looked up and it was cat boy, the psycho that ran into you.

“what’s- what’s this?!” your eyes widened, the boy started to snicker.

“for running into you. my mom told me to get it.” he pulled up his chair in front of you, all eyes were on you both.

“i didn’t even know you went to my school!” you whisper yelled, panicking that the attention was on you. the boy started to unpack his lunch in front of you and you hid your face from everyone.

“likewise!” he spoke and started unpacking his lunch, “do you like cucumbers? my mom always packs them but i don’t really enjoy them.”

he started speaking like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“ummmm…. what are you doing?”

the boy looked up at you, “actually talking to you.” he whispered, “and having lunch. duh.”

your eyes scanned the room, your best friend’s friends still looking at you, including her. you felt nauseous.

“this isn’t a funny joke if you’re pranking me.” you said firmly, the boy looked a little shocked.

“why would i be pranking you? i don’t have friends either.” he said simply and took a sip of his milk, he put the cucumbers on your plate.

you eyed the cucumbers, “is that why you chase cats and birds?”

he looked up at you, giggled, then nodded, “i’m riki by the way..”

“y/n.”

you honestly expected him to hang out with you once and then drop it. but that didn’t happen… he actually continued to hang out with you. be around you, and actually talk to you. riki would remember the little things too.

he started to walk you home and you got so used to his company that it scared you. in your mind you were boring, he was probably just using you to get to your friend. you’d take whatever riki said with a grain of salt, no matter how sweet. why would you risk having feelings for someone who could just be using you?

the weather was starting to warm up and your allergies were not helping you. your head was in pain and school just wasn’t it for you today. the idea of looking at the green chalkboard sounded nauseating.

you stayed home and took pain meds, around 10 am you were trying to make tea when there was a knocking at your door.

that was terrifying, it was only you home. if someone decided to break it you would probably die.

you rushed over and peeked through the window. and there was riki.

you opened the door, “what are you doing here.”

“you weren’t at school, can i come in?”

“can you stop pretending you actually care?” you wrapped your arms around yourself and looked down at his feet. you were getting tired of riki being overly nice to you, especially because to you it was fake. it was a facade.

you heard a surprise noise and then a scoff.

“i’m not pretending! what do you take me for!?”

you finally got the courage to look up at him, “someone who’s way out of my league and probably only using me to get to my friend, it’s happened since middle school, and she likes you too! so go to her! stop wasting my time.” you went to shut the door but riki stopped it.

“what the fuck are you talking about? have i ever mentioned your stupid- no offense- your stupid friend?” riki readjusted the bag on his shoulder, “i got your schoolwork too dumbass, since she said she forgot it. that’s the one and only time i’ve ever spoken to her.”

you looked at him, still in disbelief. riki looked at you, somewhat annoyed.

“y/n i’ve hung out with you everyday for a month, i have no other friends because people either make fun of me for being cat boy or they’re just trying to date me. it’s a weird 50/50.” he said simply, his stare softened.

“riki-“

“what’s that burning smell?”

“FUCK!” you rushed back to see the water boiling over the stove and went to fix it. you were already upset because you couldn’t find the kettle, now you were upset you fucked up.

“god! i can’t do anything right!”

unbeknownst to you riki let himself in, “go lay down. i’ll make tea.”

you flipped around and looked at him, at this point you didn’t feel well, you were overwhelmed, and you just wanted to lay down, “fine… whatever…”

you laid down on the couch and tried to check your notifications, your best friend hadn’t even checked if you were okay. hell, she didn’t even read your text asking to get your work.

sighing you zoned out until you felt a weight next to you, “sit up and drink up.” you listened, mumbling a thank you.

“i like you.”

you choked on your tea, “you what? riki that’s not funny, that’s mean. you’re being mean.” you spoke quickly and waved your hand brushing him off.

“i’m not lying to you, i’ve been hitting on you this entire time!” riki exclaimed and sat back astonished.

you set the tea down, “it’s hard for me to believe you.”

“i know.” he took a deep breath and leaned his head back, “i know. clearly it is.”

you felt bad now, if he was telling the truth you were the one being mean now…

“i’m sorry, im not used to all of this.” you felt your eyes water and riki sprung into action. he softly grabbed your hands, they were freezing.

“i know you aren’t, listen… i lied when i said i didn’t know we went to the same school-“ he blurted out. you looked up at him.

“what.”

“i’ve had a crush on you since the beginning of school but i didn’t know how to tell you and you were always around that stupid group that never talked to you and i felt really bad but i couldn’t say anything because im known as weird cat boy and i just i was trying to catch that cat to try and impress you but i failed-“

around the middle of his speech it was like time stopped, it was now or never.

if it was a joke and your school social life was over then you could transfer online or something.

you sat up on your knees and made the boy face you, before you leaned in and kissed him.

he tensed up before easing into the kiss, when he pulled away softly he chuckled, “i’m sorry for lying about that, it’s the one thing i lied about and i felt embarrassed for liking you for so long.”

you pecked his lips again, “is it embarrassing to like me?”

“NO!” riki said quickly, “absolutely not! i just felt like a loser, NOT BECAUSE-“

you started to laugh, “i’m just teasing you!” when you calmed down you looked at him, riki’s ears were pink and he was just staring at you.

“thank you for being a real friend to me…” you smiled at him, tearing up again.

“can i be your real boyfriend? or am i about to get friendzoned…?”

you laughed again and hugged him, well tackling him, “you can be my real boyfriend!”

[moonxytcn]

Hii could you write a gluff/comfort billie x fem reader who is from europe (non english speaking/ dutch speaking but idk if you know dutch so its not that important) and they speak english but have a very obvious accent and is insecure abt it and struggles with pronounciation and like finding the right words and it gets really frustrating for reader? I know this is a very long request and if you don't like write things like this then dont feel bad or anything also i love your writing so much! <3

having an accent sucks

Billie Eilish x fem!reader

Summary – reader is insecure about her accent when speaking English.

warnings – fluffy, more cute content.

word count – 851.

a/n – hello, I hope this is what you wanted when you requested it, thank you very much for that by the way. and this comment about my writing made my heart warm, thank you anon <3

English is not my first language so there may be some errors.

This gif isn't mine, I found it on Google

–––

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a soft golden glow over the room where you were getting ready with Billie, you felt your anxiety growing with each passing second. In a few minutes, you would be heading out to meet Billie's friends, and it would be the first time you'd meet them. You couldn't help but feel nervous. You and Billie had been together for 5 months, having met her parents in the first 3 months of the relationship.

The reason for your nervousness? Simple, you were Dutch, and despite being in the United States for a while, it seemed like your accent had decided to stick with you, and it was very evident when you spoke. This had become an insecurity of yours since with the added accent, you ended up having difficulties with English pronunciation, stumbling over words and always desperately searching for the right one.

Finishing fixing your hair, all your mind could think about was whether Billie's friends would understand you, and if you would embarrass yourself with your awkward pronunciation. There were so many 'what ifs' running through your mind that you had to stop for a moment and catch your breath. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you began to unconsciously murmur words in English to practice pronunciation and avoid embarrassment, trying to imagine how it would sound to someone who had heard English all their life, fearing the judgment that could come, whether verbal or not.

Billie paused for a moment upon hearing a murmur coming from her girl beside her, glancing briefly at her through the mirror and seeing what she already imagined was happening. She always knew that you struggled a bit more than others to learn and speak English. And although she knew you didn't like how you sounded when you spoke, she always found your escaping accent absolutely adorable. She remembers it was the first thing that caught her attention when she heard you ordering coffee in line, she knows very well that's when she fell in love with you, it might as well be love at first sight, if you believe in that.

"Babe." Billie called softly, wrapping her arms around you from behind, looking at you through the mirror.

"Yes?" You answered softly, knowing you were caught and already knowing she knows what you were doing.

"You know you don't need to worry, right? They're my friends, they would never make fun of you if they know what's best for them. And even if they did, I'd be by your side and protect you. Always." She says, looking into your eyes with those beautiful ocean blue eyes.

"I know, I just— you know how diff-diff neuken!" You speak, already getting frustrated because you can't pronounce it right again. (neuken - fuck)

"Difficult?" Billie says softly, leaving a light kiss on your neck, you just nod, playing with her fingers that are on your belly. "I know. Believe me. But all I see whenever I hear you speak is how perfect your voice is and your accent just makes you more unique. Love, your accent is the cutest thing ever, I'm serious. Okay?" She says.

You nod, letting a small smile escape. "I think I'm ready to go. Just, promise me you'll stay by my side, always."

"I promise, darling. Always. You don't even need to ask me that." She says turning you and giving you a chaste and soft kiss on your soft lips.

–––

Arriving at the restaurant where Billie arranged to meet her friends, she parks the car and turns to you in the seat and grabs your hand giving it a squeeze to let you know she's here. "Ready?" She asks. You nod and take a deep breath seeing her get out and come to your side to open the door for you. Getting out you go straight into her arms and give her a tight hug, she hugs you with equal force knowing you need it.

"It will be alright, love. I love you." Billie says breaking from the hug and looking into your eyes holding your face with a softness that only she has.

"I love you, so much." You say giving a peck on her lips.

Entering the restaurant you soon find the table where her friends are. Approaching they soon see you. "Hey guys, this is my girlfriend Y/n." She introduces you.

"Hey everyone." You say already noticing your accent is very visible.

–––

Opening the door to the house together with Billie you can't wipe off the huge smile that's plastered on your face. When the door closes you jump into her arms and shower Billie with kisses while the last one becomes a slow and full of love, happiness and affection.

"I'm so happy! I didn't mess up any words today, did you see?" You say excitedly to her. While she can only look at you with adoration in her eyes, mirroring your smile and watching you ramble on about how good the night was, how much you liked her friends, and how happy you were for not messing up anything today.

"I'm proud of you, love." She says softly to you. Stopping your rambling upon hearing this, you look at her for a moment feeling tears of happiness wanting to spill. Closing the distance between you, you hope she understands everything you want to say to her at this moment.

"I love you Billie. God I love you so much, you're an angel in my life." You say softly against her lips, not wanting to separate yet you just grab her like a koala. And she understanding, takes you to the bedroom where she lies on the bed and hugs you as tightly as she can, whispering praises in your ear and saying how proud she is, and happy for you.

[mollyrolls]

hey cupid! ☆ iwaizumi h. x reader

14. reverie

warnings: finale. language, miscommunication, one religious joke (kinda).

an: its finally here! thank you all for the love on hey cupid, truly means more than you could ever know. i hope this lives up to the hype, sorry it took so long lmao.

cont. the italicized part is from the nsfw chapter i have yet to upload, so sorry if thats confusing. basically, she thinks iwa just wanted to fuck and then dip, so she hurts her own feelings over it. he didnt, they talk abt it, you'll read the rest. ok. thanks again <3

prev. / mlist.

They’re not saying anything. When she knocked on the door five minutes ago, she looked as happy as ever to see him. Now that they’re sitting a million miles apart in Iwaizumi’s living room, she seems less than pleased.

He knew that this wouldn’t go exactly like he planned, but he didn’t think it would be like this. Instead of their predictable back and forth, she won’t even look at him. 

It makes him feel sick.

Iwaizumi anxiously adjusts in his chair, drawing her attention to him. They hold eye contact for only a moment, before she looks away again, embarrassed.

He had worked himself up to say something, but meeting her eyes rendered him fully useless.

The same tense silence fills the room once more, suffocating them. Finally, she sighs dejectedly. 

“Look, I’m sorry for the other night. I wish you would’ve told me you were so uncomfortable with sleeping with me, but it’s my fault for not checking. You don’t have to talk to me anymore if you don’t want to.”

He doesn’t know how to respond. Her assumption being so off track makes him start to lag behind, as he racks his brain for what he’s done to make her think that.

When he doesn't say anything, still stuck in his own thoughts, she cradles her head in her hands. Seemingly willing the floor to swallow her whole. 

“Are you going to say anything? Or just sit there and let me humiliate myself until I die?” Her question comes out muffled from behind her hands.

He gains enough consciousness to shut that down quickly. “You’re not humiliating yourself. Like I said, I don’t regret what we did.”

Hajime’s first words of the night do little to lighten her spirits. She seems perpetually weighed down, and has since her date with Osamu.

If Iwaizumi could reasonably kill him, he would. 

She sounds unconvinced. “Yeah, ok.” 

“You don’t believe me?” 

Her hands fall from her face, choosing instead to stare at the wall distantly. “I don’t know. You aren’t really acting like you’re proud of what we did.”

The accusation doesn’t sit well with him. Sure, he hadn’t shouted from the mountaintops, but it’s like she’s forgetting what had happened after.

He lies down in just his boxers, her in just his shirt. The labored breathing coming from both of them isn’t enough to quiet the roaring in his ears. She rolls over to face him, eyes still puffy from the rollercoaster she put herself through. “Iwaizumi?”  He just hums, unsure of how steady his voice would be. “Do you regret it?” He knows this is the last bit of her insecurities, the ones he feels responsible to tamper. So as anxious as it makes him to admit it, he does it for her. “…. No.” She doesn’t say anything. He takes it as acceptance enough. “Do you?” The pause is longer from her. But she sounds more sure.  “No.” He lets himself be selfish, and wraps his arms around her, bringing her closer in. If his words aren’t enough, he’ll let his actions do the work. He tries to ignore the shakiness of her shoulders as they fall into a fitful sleep.

 “Well, you aren’t either. I’ve at least come out and said it.”

She sours at that, remnants of the fight probably swimming back up to the surface. She bounces back faster than before, but he knows that’s still holding her back.

“I don’t think I regret it…” She starts, and Hajime starts to dread the ‘but’ that will follow. It’s terrifying how much power she holds over him with just a sentence. 

“...I’m just scared of what’ll happen if I admit it.”

Hajime can see how scared she is. It’s something he’s never witnessed from her before; it doesn’t feel right. She’s supposed to be persistent and nagging him about something stupid, not second guessing herself. Especially not over someone like him.

As much as he hates seeing it, he knows how significant this is to her. He’s been there too, felt the anguish of silence on the other side. 

So he matches her effort, voice hoarse from how quiet it comes out. 

“I’m scared too.” 

It’s so silent in Iwaizumi’s living room that he can hear her breathing, even and controlled. Like she’s willing the oxygen to go down. 

“So what do we do?”

“I’m not really sure.” He feels like a teenage boy again, hyper aware of every movement he makes. “Do you want to do something?”

She grumbles. “I mean, yeah.” 

Hajime’s heart squeezes tight in his chest when he hears it again. He thinks he could never get tired of her admitting it.

“It would be stupid for us to… feel like this and not ‘do something’,” She makes sure to exaggerate the air quotes, much to his annoyance. At least she’s not so anxious that she can’t be a pain in his ass some of the time. 

“But, it would also be stupid to try and avoid the glaring problem between us.”

He agrees with a nod. 

That seems to be the end of it, as neither of them make any move to continue the conversation. 

They’ve never been good in silence. Even when they were out on their dates, it felt like they had the mutual understanding to fight, if only to pass the time. Hajime wonders briefly when all that changed.

He truly cannot place the time when he started thinking about her like this. Like how her happiness and her fire are the only thing he cares about when he’s around her, and even more so when he’s not. 

Honestly, Hajime can’t even remember if he really hated her after their first date. Since he can’t place a time, if he feels this way now he must’ve felt like this then. The butting heads, the petty fights, that’s just who they are. 

But sitting in the silence of this living room, he solemnly wonders if that’s all they’ll ever be. If they can’t get through one conversation to process their feelings, what hope do they have for a future together?

As if she can hear his thoughts, she lets out a shaky breath. 

“If I ask you something, do you promise to answer me honestly?”

Her voice sounds wrong again, like it had that night. Too unsure of itself to belong to her.

“I’ll try.”

She readies herself before dropping the second most catastrophic bomb Iwaizumi could have ever imagined. 

“Why do you fight with me so much?”

There are a million ways he could answer her question, none of which he wants to admit. That he thought that was just their relationship, so he never put much thought into it. That he truly doesn’t know, sometimes he just can’t help himself. That the way it makes his heart race is dangerous, and how he has no intention of stopping because of how excited it makes him.

He could try and answer her, give them a reason to pinpoint and work through so that they could do this, but that would be lying. Hajime could never lie to her.

So instead, he decides to take a leap of faith.

“Is it really a problem though?”

She looks at him puzzled, like he hadn’t listened to a word she said.

He tries again. He's finally getting his momentum, and he can’t afford to lose it now. “What I mean is, yeah we do fight a lot. But it’s never over really important stuff. It’s just bickering.”

She nods as he speaks, wheels turning in her mind. “I don’t know why we fight. It’s probably some deep rooted psychological shit that I don’t care about.” Hajime sends up a silent prayer that his next words won’t humiliate him to the ends of the Earth.

“But I care about you.”

She freezes, probably not expecting him to come right out and say it. He hadn’t expected it to fully admit it tonight, but now that it's out in the universe he has no desire to take it back. It feels too right. 

“I don’t…” She tries to find the words, but Hajime stops her. She pulls a face at the intrusion, but lets him continue. 

“If it bothers you, I’ll try to cut it out. But I like that we fight.” 

She seems even more confused, but he feels excited. He’s finally saying the things that have haunted him since he met her, but only recently gave weight to. He realizes how long he’s been waiting to admit it.

“Sure, it’s always about you being right and being a genuine pain in my ass,” he starts, not fighting his grin anymore. She groans at the accusation, but doesn’t deny it. Hajime can see her lips starting to curl up, which sparks something deep in his chest.

“But you’re not a pushover. You’ll call me out on my bullshit, and not pull any punches. That’s what I want.”

His adrenaline is starting to wear off, but he'll be damned if he doesn't get it all out on the table now, so he pushes down the nerves. It’s not everything he wants to say, but he knows she’ll know.

“You’re who I want.”

The atmosphere in the room softens as the confession falls from his lips. Her face betrays nothing, and Hajime can see all the thoughts floating around in her head. 

She smiled at his words. There’s no denying that. The sight made the whole conversation worth it, regardless of how badly he wanted to shit himself. 

But the sight is short lived, before the conflict falls back over her face. 

“I like it too…” she starts, releasing the lip pulled between her teeth to give him a small shit-eating grin. “It’s gratifying being able to rub it in your face how wrong you are all the time.”

He laughs at that, low and warm.

She looks like she wants to overthink again, but pushes it away. He’s thankful for that; any more overthinking and he’d start to panic again too.

Instead, she deflects. “I was thinking about it the other night.”

Her gaze starts to flick slowly across the room, looking at anything but him.

“You were thinking about me?” 

He doesn’t mean it as a joke, but she takes it as one. 

“Please shut up.” She looks over her shoulder at him with that easy grin before startling herself and turning back.

“What I mean is, I think I know why we fight. But I think if I tell you, you’d take it the wrong way.”

He tries not to be hurt at the accusation, but it’s unsuccessful. Which might be proving her point, but he wants to know anyway.

“You don’t know that unless you say it.” 

His proposal is unsuccessful.

“Even still, I know it’d ruin the mood. I finally stopped feeling like I wanted to die in your presence, why would you want to waste it?.” 

Her persistence makes his curiosity grow stronger, but it’s also with a twinge of unease. He’s not sure what she could be thinking about, but he doesn’t know when they’re gonna have another talk like this. He has to see it through.

When she finally agrees, it's barely above a whisper. So low he can barely make it out. 

“I think I see the worst parts of myself in you.”

Suddenly, he wishes he didn’t hear her.

His ears start ringing again, thoughts running rampant. He leans back against the couch, crossing his arms in an attempt to get some distance. 

He doesn’t mean to seem petulant, but he’s sure he does.

At his movement, she turns around and pins him in his place with her gaze.

“See what I mean?” She softly points a finger at him. “Took it the wrong way.”

Despite this, she moves closer into his space. He tries to walk away, feeling too scorned and hurt to have this conversation anymore. She follows after him quickly, calling out for him to stop.

“I know that because I felt that way too.”

It falls from her lips in a rush, stopping him in his tracks. He still can’t bring himself to face her.

"Wait. It was probably dumb for me to say this now, I’m sorry. I panicked.” She begs, voice wavering slightly. Hajime feels the lightest touch on his arm, beckoning him to turn back. “Please don’t be mad. I promise it makes sense, and I’m not some horrible person for saying this.”

He’s not strong enough to resist her. 

He continues to keep his distance, but the two settle back on the couch. She begins to explain, looking as nervous as Hajime felt earlier. 

“I was trying to think everything through, especially after my freak out when we slept together. I didn’t understand why it impacted me so much, so I started writing about it, until it hit me like a fucking freight train.”

She readies herself with another deep breath, not too different from his own. He wonders if this is the equivalent to her confession.

“I know our bickering is different now, at least it is for me, but at the beginning it was definitely real. Which is why I’ve been so scared to do something, because I don’t want it to go back to that.”

He only nods, letting her continue on. 

“But I think what it was, was that it was easy to hate you because you were too much like me.”

She anxiously adjusts in her spot, drawing his attention to her. He stops after a moment, starting to realize what she means.

“I saw the things I don’t like about myself in someone else, and my insecurities lit up like crazy. I took things out on you because I couldn’t face them in myself.”

As she says it, memories and moments start flooding into his brain. The way he felt on their first date, overly protective of Bokuto and assuming he knew what’s best for him. When she went against his ideas, it felt like a personal attack, so he went in just as hard.

When he found out about her date and immediately felt sorry for himself. So the only thing he could think to do was make her feel bad too. Even if it was with good intentions.

“Which is why I knew you’d take it badly. Because I did too.” She finishes, watching his every move as he processes. 

The wound from the delivery is still a little raw, but he understands what she means. In a weird way, probably lending evidence to her theory, it’s comforting knowing she had the same experience with this revelation as him. 

It’s a little awkward, having everything laid out like that. He feels cut open, put on display for her to see. But in turn, she shared that same feeling with him. He sees that for what it is, and decides to leave it at that. There’s no need hashing out mutual insecurities, at least not now. 

Instead, he simply turns to her with a private kind of smile. “I’ve totally earned the right to read what you wrote about me now.”

Her gaze softens when she processes what he says, relief visible in her body language.

So much so that she starts to laugh. It’s a crazed kind of laugh, like the one you might get after a near death experience.

It makes him laugh too. 

“Why did I say that?” She says through broken gasps.  “You’re never going to let me live that down.”

He can’t fight the stupid grin that covers his face. “No, I’m really not. It’s nice to know you thought about me that much though.”

Not only did they have a serious conversation, they made it through on good terms.

Hajime feels fucking invincible. 

Her laughter subsides, and she settles back against the couch, facing him. “I’m just going to let you forget about it.” 

He faces her too, taking in her features in this softened, less anxious light. “Never gonna happen. I’m going to remind you that you thought about me so much that you just had to write about me. Multiple times, it sounds like.” 

“Ugh. I hate you.” She tries to shoot him a glare, but it doesn’t have nearly as much bite. He might even go as far to say that she’s smiling at him.

“I wonder how often my name appears in your diary. Oh, or your texts. Can I read your texts too? I have to know what you’re saying about me.” 

“Please stop.”

He sees his opportunity, and she realizes her mistake.

“No, don’t do it-” “Last time I checked, you were the one begging me to not stop.”

She groans in despair. “Please let this torment end." 

Riding his high, he braces himself against the back of the couch, putting his arm around her blatantly. 

Despite her complaints, she leans into him willingly. “You really are the worst Iwaizumi.”

It feels odd to think not ten minutes ago he wanted to leave his own apartment to get away from her. Now, he would do anything to freeze this moment forever.

“Eh. You love me.”

His body goes taut, not realizing what he said. He’s joked about it before, but now it has some kind of gravity to it. His heart starts to beat so fast, Hajime worries it might punch a hole through his chest.

She pauses, gaze looking a little wistful as she looks away at a spot on the floor. The words that fall from her mouth are quiet, barely above a whisper. 

“Yeah. I think I might.”

It’s odd how the world exploded at that same moment. 

Hajime doesn’t let himself believe what he just heard. It seems too unbelievable, too perfect to be happening to him. 

They sit in the silence of it, the words repeating over and over in his head. A choir of angels wouldn’t sound half as beautiful as that.

She doesn’t let his reverie last long.

“You’re just... not gonna say anything back? Real dick move there.” 

The soft smile painting her features are enough to negate the shove she lands on his shoulder. 

“Sorry. Sorry. I like you too.” He smiles down at her loopily.

She gasps in fabricated disbelief. “Only like? Are you serious right now?”

He responds with a shrug. “Yeah. You’re alright, I guess. Love is for suckers.”

He can’t resist the jab. It’s in their nature, after all.

“Oh, you wish, Iwaizumi. You wish I sucked.”

He gazes down at her, making sex jokes without a care in the world, and suddenly feels an overwhelming urge to kiss her. 

“You’re gross.”

He loves her. Without a doubt in his mind.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Iwaizumi.” She replies with a grin. And in a moment, a long, perfect moment, the tiny space that was left between them is gone.

prev. / mlist.

taglist!

@chemiru, @whosmarjj, @seroh, @skrunkly-soaked-rat, @yessimo,

@walllflowerrrsss, @bae-ashlynn, @themoonismymarble, @ryuverse, @yuminako,

@aiieera, @itsdragonius , @sereniteav , @bakugouswh0r3, @zumicho ,

@rory-cakes , @eggyrocks , @kirigiriz, @garfieldissocool, @wave2mia,

@juie13, @19calicos , @hyuckslvr, @csbnova , @1lovestrawberrymilk,

@saralovesrui, @neoclb , @gsyche , @kmwife , @insanelycooljk

@solaqes, @nectardaddy, @akaashikins, @theycallmenanamisgirl, @aboveasphodel,

@cherrypieyourface, @hyenagoated, @thepurpleempath, @dazqa, @soulfullystarry,

@walllflowerrrsss, @bectoshi, @bakingcuriosity, @sun-nny-side-up

[coolprettyleo]

the traffic lights didn't know - begin again au ☆

wc: 1.2k

tw: depression. heartbroken. lmk if theres more

hughes sister x ryan leonard

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

frankie hughes was in a weird place in her life.

she didnt have the feeling of dreading to go to hockey practice anymore, and call her crazy she missed that feeling. not the sport, she wanted the sport dead in a ditch for what it did to her, but she missed the feeling of hating something so much.

she thought about directing her anger towards drew. but she was way to heartbroken to do that. she wanted to erase all her thoughts of drew, but he invaded every inch of her; her heart, hips, body, and love. there wasn't anything he didnt touch or get too.

frankie was starting to get depressed because she felt like her days were on repeat. over and over again. the only light of her day was when she would see ryan, or whenever he texted her back, and depending your overall happiness on a boy was not in any way smart.

she felt like nothing in her life was okay and resorted to asking the traffic lights if it was all going to be okay. news flash! they didn't know.

at the moment though, she was dressing up for a lunch...meeting with ryan. she wanted to say date, but ryan wanted nothing to do with her romantically, till she was fully over drew.

she wasn't but she thought she was. which is why she had been feeling blue. its not like she still wanted drew though. she just felt embarrassed and insecure. and the fact the reason he didnt want her, was because she was dumb?

I mean frankie knew she was ditzy. her family has always said that her blonde was showing, whenever she was being slow. but thats just family teasing. hearing other people talk about how dumb you are makes you want to crumble and die.

she was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a buzz coming from her bed. it was her phone, which had a text from ryan, saying he was outside.

she quickly finished applying her lip combo and sprayed her favorite perfume, and rushed out. her favorite handbag of course coming in tow.

she loved when her and ryan, were able to hangout. he was always busy and his schedule was always jam-packed so days like these were the best because she finally got too go out and enjoy life.

she had been trying to enjoy it on her own though, she's resorted to taking the long way home from class.

"hi ry" frankie said as she got into his car.

"hey, why are you all dressed? you know were only going to chipotle"

"yes i know. i can read! i honestly just dressed to kill my time. a girl just cant get all cute for no reason?"

"no- I mean- you can. you look cute- i mean you look good." Ryan stumbled face red as he drove.

frankie loved how he'd get all flustered.

"you think I look cute" frankie said, she needed that compliment really bad.

"yeah, you always look cute" softly smiling as he looked over at her, at the red light.

this is why she loved to see ryan. he always put her in the best moods. he made her want to break through the windows she had boarded up and see the love the world was capable of giving. he had the goofiest, cutest smile and freckles that made her want to kiss everyone of them.

she hadn't realized they were starring at each other, till the car behind them honked and cut them out of their trance. both of them turning away with red faces.

"are gabe, will, and jacob coming today?" frankie asked as they pulled into the parking lot. she liked to hang around them, they were all so funny and in a way reminded her of her brothers.

"uhm no, I thought it could be just me and you today. if thats okay- I can call them to come. but lowkey will and gabe are busy with class, but I can make jacob, if that would make you feel bette-"

"ryan! im okay with just us two" she said laughing at his rambling.

"sorry" he cringed.

he opened the door for her, as they walked into chipotle.

and load and behold, drew was in there. laughing with aram in all his glory. she felt like she saw drew everywhere, and the only thing they shared was this damn campus.

she looked back at ryan with a glare.

"did you know?" frankie asked as he followed her sight too drew and aram.

"I swear I didn't. I wouldn't do that to you. we can go somewhere else" he said hoping he didn't just ruin all his chances with her.

as much as frankie wanted to run away and get drunk, she knew the morning would be right around the corner and it wasn't going to change anything. he still wouldn't be hers; not that she wanted him to be.

"no, its fine" she said still walking in. ryan following after her like a puppy. they both ordered and as she was paying she heard ryan dabbing them up.

"you guys wanna sit with us?" drew said motioning over to frankie. he honestly didnt think there was a problem within them.

"uhm-" ryan looked back at her.

"we already planned on going to the park" ryan said as he waved goodbye to them and met frankie whereas she had been filling her water cup, that was full of sprite. she refused to pay for a drink.

"where we sitting" she smiled at him.

"I actually thought we could go to centennial park" he said as he guided her out.

"what- I was fine with sitting in there" frankie said feeling her heart drop because maybe ryan was embarrassed to be seen with her in front of drew.

"drew asked me if we wanted to sit with him"

"oh."

"yeah, I didnt think you wanted too"

"I could of sucked it up"

"you dont have to though"

"no- I want too. I need you to know and see that im over him"

ryan sighed. he knew she wasn't, and he wanted believe her, but he knew her all too well.

"okay" ryan said to frankie.

"okay?" frankie asked confused.

"your over drew"

"I've been saying that"

"then go on a date with me?" ryan asked.

frankie hesiated. did she really want to start this relationship with ryan on a bad foot? it was all going to go bad if it was doomed from the start. she didnt have any romantic feelings left over for drew, but every time she saw him, she had to act like everything was okay; when it wasn't.

"see I knew it! theres my answer" ryan said pulling frankie out of her thoughts.

"ryan" she sighed. if the story was over why was she still writing pages?

"its okay frankie. i already told you i'd wait for you, however long it takes" ryan said looking at her seriously.

her heart fluttered at that, and she softly smiled at him.

"i won't make you wait long leonard" she said pholding out her pinky.

"and I'll hold you too that" he said locking it around hers.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

this idea came from @crazy4minty !! she ate with this lol. i had never made the connection... im seriously thinking about renaming the au to death by a thousand cuts. anyways I have a really bad fever right now, so im probably done with writing for today! <3

[crooked-wasteland]

I'm very much looking forward to your Stolitz/HB is a bad musical essay. I've had my own thoughts on HH being subpar as far as a musical goes but never really felt like I had the knowledge on musicals as a narrative style nor as a music genre to do it much justice; excited to see you tackle the topic in regards to HB! 🫡

I absolutely understand the hesitation. It isn't like I personally have a masters in Musical Theory, but I think we as a generation have had musical theories subliminally inculcated into our psyche from the sheer amount of exposure that we can understand what makes a good musical and recognize when those qualities are simply not there. No one has reservations talking about how bad Wish was as a musical, and what I am finding in my own deep-dive for this essay is that Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel suffer the same issues as Wish. The lead in music being Sam Haft who is not a musical theatre composer and frankly doesn't understand how musical theatre functions on a fundamental level.

For a small preview of a major point in my essay that I plan on expanding much more, Helluva and Hazbin completely lack an understanding of musical diegesis. This may be a new term for some. Diegesis is most often referenced in how music interplays within a movie or film.

Most of the time the music is not diegetic to the story. When we have big moments in our media with that swelling emotional music, we don't think that there is an orchestra just off screen playing this music for these characters. We are aware the music is an external component to the story. In this way, the music is most often not diegetic to the narrative.

Of course that isn't always the case. Take for example Guardians of the Galaxy and how the films utilize their soundtrack. Starting the movie off, we hear Come and Get Your Love as we would hear any other soundtrack, only for Peter Quill to remove his headphones and the music can be heard playing faintly over them. That makes the song Diegetic.

Another example is Shrek. All of the pop songs in the films are non-diegetic, but there are diegetic songs in, say, Shrek 2 with the Fairy Godmother singing Holding Out for a Hero.

To pull back to more direct inspiration, Happy Day in Hell is nothing more than an embarrassing parody of Beauty and the Beast's opening number Belle. However, Belle is non-diegetic. The Townspeople are singing their thoughts and feelings, but that is not what literally is happening. And Belle turning at the end isn't supposed to be taken as literally the town coming to a halt just to follow her and talk about how weird she is, but that the town as a collective sees her as an outsider and she gets that sixth sense sort of feeling of people judging her. Because they are, they just don't say anything. That is a key crux for the film.

Every single song in Helluva Boss and Hazbin are diegetic. We know this because Vaggie tells Charlie not to sing and we are told by Angel Dust explicitly that Charlie is, in fact, physically singing. Stolas' song ends with Stella telling Stolas to stop singing. Striker, Verosika, Moxxie, Stolas, Fizzarolli, Glitz & Glam, and Asmodeus all sing as a part of a literal performance.

In fact, Hazbin goes out of its way to shoehorn in-universe reasons to have a song rather than just allowing the world to exist in that heightened reality. Additionally, by having the songs explicitly being legitimate songs in the world, we actually face more issues with the world building because on one hand Vaggie is begging Charlie to not sing and is struggling with the secondhand embarrassment, only for the denizens of Hell to join in? Except the world has established that singing is not something people just do. It is the one time the criticism of "Why is everyone singing" and "How do you all know the words?" Are legitimately valid questions.

This all screams insecure and shows a clear discomfort with the genre of musical theatre as a whole. There is no depth of understanding how music in musicals function, just like Wish.

That isn't even touching on how San Haft's lyricism is identical to Wish's worst numbers with how he just borks the internal structure and meter of his songs.

[luvtak]

perfect mix, lhc

❀ pairing bf!haechan x reader

❀ genre/tw pure fluff, oc and haechan are grossly in love, talk about having babies, but no pronouns are mentioned,

❀ w/c 1041

❀ a/n this is the first time ive been brave enough to post my actual writing lol so pls be kind! pls ignore any run on sentences lol<3 also i wrote this mainly for myself hahaha i just love him ☹️

“Do you think we’ll be together forever?”

The question is posed like it’s no big deal—like he could answer anything, and it wouldn’t matter, but Haechan knows you. He knows this is important. He knows just like when you tell him all you’re craving is cereal that your stomach hurts, or when you play Howl’s Moving Castle for the third time in a week that something is wrong. This is important and could greatly change how the night goes. While you’re laying in bed now with tiny smiles, one wrong answer could send you into another Studio Ghibli binge—the last one lasted two weeks where all you watched was Ponyo and Princess Mononoke and wouldn’t let him change it.

 “Well, why wouldn’t we be?” He wants to play this right, doesn’t want to be too serious that you get overwhelmed, but he needs you to know he’s being honest. He’s loved you since he saw you. Some people think that’s a lie or an exaggeration, yet it’s true. Ever since he walked into that café and saw you reading in the corner, so excited about the plot of the story, he’s been whipped. He couldn’t believe it when you smiled at him too, or when you agreed to get coffee together next time. His feelings for you are so big that he can’t see them ever going away, and maybe that’s how everyone in love feels. Maybe people say this every day and then suddenly they don’t even know the person anymore, but Haechan feels like you’re the exception; he loves you too much for you not to be. So, when he says, “I mean I fall in love with you more and more everyday…” He means it, he wakes up every morning finding new reasons to fall in love with you, new experiences that initiate the whole sequence over again, so that he’s right where he started.

“Hyuck! I’m being serious!” Your smile is huge, spread across your whole face mirroring his. He likes you best this way, fully and wholly you. All your makeup has been washed away and your hair’s falling around you on the pillow. You’re in his clothes, a big T-shirt and his sweatpants acting as makeshift pajamas, and your body is pressed right against his. The bed is just too small not to be, so every inch of your skin is touching his—chest to chest, with your legs in between his. And God, you’re smile, he would embarrass himself all day just to see it—and trust, he really tries—he loves your smile just as much as you love his, which is a lot. “Do you really think we’ll be together forever, like we’ll get married and have babies and everything?”

“Course I do, I already got it all planned out, we just have to wait until everything calms down.” You know he means it; it’s written all over his face: all the plans he has for the two of you. He’s always been so sweet, never letting you think anything less of yourself than he does, never letting you be confused about his feelings or his intentions—he told you he loved you as soon as he knew you felt the same and has never let you question it. But it’s hard not to be insecure, not to be at odds with the truth. He’ s so perfect, and so dear to so many people, and it’s difficult to see his love for you over everyone’s love for him, but he always knows exactly how to help. “I mean we’ll have lots of babies, and they all look like you, so pretty.” He has a dumb smile on his face, so fond and happy to be here with you.

The little room is lit up from the candles next to you and its so hot underneath the blanket, but you can’t seem to move. The moment is too lovely, too giddy with his plans for the future. The two of you with a little family. He says all your children will look like you, but you wish they’ll be him—everything from his sparkly eyes to his heart-shaped lips; Perfect from their heads to their toes, and maybe they’ll be as silly and wonderful too, so you tell him. “They should be all you, love, so sweet and so funny, like little suns running around giving everyone a hard time.” His laugh breaks out at this, so smooth, so musical. Secretly you wish they’ll have this too: his easy humor. For you, it’s hard not to be serious, to let things be as they are and find joy in the little things. But Haechan is a wizard at this, letting go of control in hopes of more fun and better times. If you have children, you hope they gain this most of all.

“I don’t know if anyone else would like that, honey, I think they’d be annoyed.” The scoff you release at this is comical, but you can’t believe anyone would dislike him. Sure, he can be mischievous and his playfulness can lead to hurt feelings, but he always kisses it better. He never gives out anything he doesn’t think you’ll be able to take. At his core, he’s a kind boy, just wanting people to laugh with him.

“At you?! Who could be annoyed at you? You’re my favorite person in the whole world.” He knows you mean it. Anyone with eyes could see you meant it. And how could you not when you get to be loved by the warmest boy, so sincere in everything he does.  

“You’re my favorite person too, baby, so maybe they’ll be the perfect mix of both—everything you love about me, and everything I love about you.” And how nice does that sound, little things walking around with so much love in them. Never going a day without hearing laughter or joy or the most earnest I love yous. Never second guessing their place in the world or how powerful  they can be. It’ll be loud and chaotic, but lovely, and if they’re anything like him, they will be so loved. They’ll be him and they’ll be you, a perfect mix.

© luvtak

[boyfiejay]

Next door hottie neighbour pt.2

This is requested by @frogsrules (tumblr isnt letting me tag omfg) im sorry i lost the request, and also sorry for not replying sooner 😭

PAIRING : Sunghoon x gn Reader

GENRE : bad boy and good girl, he's mean to everyone but her (not really mean but yeah)

Warning : this is part 2 of another drabble you can read it here, established relationship, sh has a bike, climbing to bedroom windows, swearing like once, they kiss y'all🤭

Word Count : 0.8k

Who knew that renowned bad boy Sunghoon was just a softie at heart? The one that everyone felt intimidated by was such a gentleman.

Or maybe it was just the girlfriend privilege, his friends constantly talking about how they've never seen him smile so bright.

Yeah, girlfriend. After that embarrassing moment you shared with Sunghoon, he had taken you out on a date as promised. Of all the places you thought he would take you, it was an amusement park. Kinda cliché but you liked how he had went out of his comfort zone to entertain you.

Like for starters, he revealed he doesnt usually go to the amusement park asides from the times his sister drags him there (which is so cute). And second, he did not take his bike because he saw you were wearing a skirt (again?). He would've made you wear his jacket around your waist for safety, but he didnt want to make you uncomfortable.

Which is ironic considering you are obsessed with his bike, maybe not how fast it is (it makes you feel sick). But after you two started dating, Sunghoon was complaining non stop about how you love his bike more than him, or even that you liked him only because of the bike (deal with it, its not her fault boys with bikes are sexy).

Your relationship with Sunghoon consisted mostly of bickering considering the fact than you two are completely opposite, and when you stop bickering he's flirting with you till you feel like your face will actually explode.

But there are times when you two are just silent, lying in each others arms in the dark, talking about your insecurities or fears. You loved how with you Sunghoon was just so gentle, no matter how much you annoy him, he's still gentle to you.

Sunghoon was just like that, big and dark when you dont know him. He seems intimidating, like the kind who will judge you for no reason. But he was just a big baby, your baby as he likes to say.

And although your parents knew about you dating and approved of it, yet Sunghoon still chose to sneak into your room through the window.

Sunghoon climbed up whenever he missed you, even in the middle of the night. And he could come throught the front door like civilized people do, but no there was just something about how you nagged him about how dangerous it is, and how pouty you get when you pretend to be angry. 

Sunghoon had never in his lifetime thought that he would be this whipped for anyone. But he can't help it, you just looked so cute no matter what you did. 

He was again here, knocking on your window, and you opened it again. But this time instead of nagging him, you pulled him instead excitedly, nearly squeezing the life out of him as you hugged him. 

Ofcourse you would be excited, why wouldn't you be? Your boyfriend was back from a week long trip with his family, he had just landed and decided to surprise you as soon as possible. 

Just three hours ago, you were pouting and sulking about how you missed him and how lonely it was. You definitely did not expect him to come back so soon, but who was complaining. 

For a long while you two just stood in your room embracing, until you spoke up, "I missed you so much."  it was your first time being away from him for so long. 

"I missed you too baby, I was about to go crazy if I heard my sister teasing me one more time." he said, pulling away from the hug. You lightly chuckled, it was quiet late your parents were probably asleep. 

Feeling sleepy, you rested your cheek against his chest while still looking up at him. Your faces were so close, you could count his eyelashes. 

This was again one of those times, when Sunghoon just wanted to kiss you so bad. So thats exactly what he did. 

His lips pressed aginst your soft ones, he could taste the cherry chapstick that you applied. His tongue licking away at your bottom lip, but pulling away just as you opened your mouth. 

Park Sunghoon was a fucking tease, but he was your baby more than he was a tease, so he dove right back in connecting your lips. This time not pulling away, till you feel lightheaded and pull back yourself. 

He picks you up, setting you on the bed and sliding in after you made yourself comfortable. But nothing is more comfortable than Sunghoons arms wrapped around you like a cocoon. 

Having Park Sunghoon as a boyfriend was probably the best thing you've done in your life. And Sunghoon was going to make sure you will never regret that decision. 

[anakinmybeloved]

The most beautiful girl in the Galaxy

warnings: 18+, established relationship, fluff, praise, fingering (f recieving), anakin helps reader talk through body image issues, smut, not proofread

You weren’t always such an insecure person, but lately your body image issues have been crushing your confidence. You know that these new stretch marks are just signs of your your younger shape turning to your womanly figure. you cant help but feel like your body isn’t as pretty as you once thought it was. 

You could feel it was straining your relationship with Anakin as well. You two have been together for a while, since before these new changes appeared on your body. You haven’t really been as intimate as you usually are, finding ways to shower separately, not wanting to change in front of him, hiding your body with bigger clothing. When you give into your urges you insist on it being dark. You feel like he won’t be attracted to you anymore. You know he has noticed your shift in confidence, you can tell he wants to say something but doesn’t know how without making you feel worse. 

Which brings you to this moment, you and Anakin are lying in bed, your facing away from him on your side. Every time he brings his arms around to gently put his hands on your stomach to move you closer to him, you fidget and squirm out of his hold. 

“Okay I can’t ignore this anymore, baby what’s going on?” Anakin asks you grabbing your arm and moving you so you can face each other. You avoid his eyes, knowing it will just make you feel worse. You know its wrong to keep him in the dark like this, but you just cant bring yourself to explain this to him. 

he takes his hand and softly cups your face, “What’s going on, would you please look at me.” Sighing, you look into his eyes and all you can muster up to say is “I just don’t feel pretty right now ani, I don't mean to push you away.”

“There is no reason to apologize my love, you are beautiful, why don't you feel pretty?” 

Hearing those words fall off his lips turns your face red with blush. It gets you comfortable and you find the strength to talk about what’s been going on. 

“Im embarrassed. I have noticed my body doesn’t look the same from when we first got together and I feel like you won’t be attracted to me anymore, I cant even look in the mirror sometimes.” You don’t even realize the tears are falling from your eyes until Anakin’s thumb is brushing them away. He pulls you closer to him so your head is smushed in the crook of his neck. 

“I feel so bad for not acknowledging this sooner. But you couldn’t be more wrong. I love you for who you are, in my eyes your are the most beautiful girl in this whole galaxy. You give me butterflies every time you look at me with those gorgeous eyes of yours. I don’t want anyone else but you. I love your body, along with all the changes that come along with it. You will always be my perfect girl.” Hearing those words just make you sob harder into him. You cant believe you even allowed yourself to think your Anakin would ever not love you or be attracted to you. He as never made you feel anything other than loved and taken care of. 

You finally get the strength to look back into his sparkly blue eyes and whisper, “I love you so much Anakin. I don’t know what i’d do without you.” Before your even thinking of it, you grab his face and press your lips against his own. Its soft, and filled with so much love all you want to do in this moment was melt yourself into him. 

Anakin lightly pulls away from you and you are once again looking back into his heated eyes. “Can I touch you?” You can tell he is trying not to scare you off by the way he asks you this so gently. You nod back at him finally pushing your insecurities aside and just letting yourself be in this moment with him. He is now grabbing the hem of your shirt and looks back at you with questioning eyes, you finally allow him to pull your shirt off your body. 

You lie on your back as Anakin looms over you. He pulls his shirt from his own body and is now gazing at you below him, you forgot the last time you had felt so intimate with him. His hands are roaming your body as he admires, his eyes hold an intensity you haven’t seen in a long time. He reaches for your lips again with a lingering kiss, he swiftly pulls away trailing kisses down to your neck. 

He takes his time going to each side, sucking and biting his favorite spots. 

As he continues to leave love bites all over you his large hands begin to caress your body. He’s gliding over your stomach and hips then holds you at your waist. He’s looking down at your chest, completely mesmerized. Grabbing both your breasts with his calloused hands, he begins playing with them, squeezing them together, rubbing his thumbs across your hardened nipples. 

“I could never get tired of this..” 

“Your all I ever want for the rest of my life” he murmurs to you as he lowers his mouth to capture your nipple. He swirls his tongue around each nipple, taking his time in his best attempt to calm your mind. His mouth follows the trail his hands make down you body. Once it registers that he’s going to see your scars you struggle trying wiggle out of his hold attempting to hide yourself. 

Your fighting to pull his head up to avoid your embarrassment and he looks up to you with a stern look in his eyes “Don't hide your body from me”

“I love you no matter what” as the words leave his mouth he begins to grind his bulge against you. “Can’t you feel how hard you make me baby?” That gets you so flustered you don't even want to fight him anymore. He places gentle kisses along your new scars while whispering how much he loves you, how your his perfect, beautiful girl.

Once he’s past your hips he begins kissing and biting your inner thighs before he slowly removes your shorts. Your breathing begins to get deep and feel nervous with want.  Anakin takes you by the hands brushing along the inside of your palms to get you to calm down. “Baby look at me, everything is ok. We don’t have to keep going, I just want you to be comfortable with me again.”  

Your body feels electrified under his touch, you can feel the excitement coursing through your veins, to the tips of your fingers and toes. You know Anakin won’t judge you, and that this is the best way to get over your new formed insecurity. 

“No-no ani don’t stop please, I want you to keep going.”

With your assurance he pulls your panties to the side, fingers dipping into your soaked folds. With his middle and ring fingers he gathers your wetness and swirls you clit, jolting your body. 

“Does that feel good princess.” He whispers into your skin, you bite your lower lip and nod back at him unable to use words. He begins to pick up speed swirling his fingers over your sensitive bud then removes them and plunges his thick, long fingers into your dripping hole. 

Anakin begins to toy with your clit with his thumb as his fingers are still gliding in and out of you. “You feel so good. So warm and tight for me..” His words along with his hand cause you to feel that familiar knot pull in your stomach. Knowing your close you moan “ani I’m gonna cum”, with that he’s curving his fingers inside of you reaching that spot only he can touch as the pad of his thumb swirls slow circles over your clit, coaxing your orgasm out of you. Your back arches upwards, toes curling with pleasure, your mind feeling like its exploding as you come all over Anakin’s hand. 

“Such a good girl.” 

“Feel better?” 

He moves to lay next to you as your breathing finally slows back down. You turn to face him with a shy smile. He smiles back and moves to bring the covers over the two of you. “What are you doing?” You question as he snuggles closer wrapping his arms over your tummy. “I’m so proud of you my love” he hums as he presses a kiss to your temple “this was for you, I don’t need anything other than to see you happy and comfortable.” You close your eyes, finally feeling relaxed, as if your insecurities have been whiped from your mind.

"I love you Ani" you mumble as his breathing starts to deepen against your neck. you drift to sleep in anakins arms, your mind finally able to rest and body at peace next to the one person you love the most.

A/n: idk if I liked how this one came out

[practickles]

EnaKasa Tickle Headcanons

It's downright criminal that these two have never interacted.

Absolute. Drama. Queens. 

Neither of them can just sit still and take it, they are either flailing and squealing like it’s the one thing between them and spontaneous combustion or twitching violently and complaining nonstop (never meaning a word of course) 

Ticklish tummy solidarity. I don’t make the rules, sorry. 

Tha image of them just sitting next to each other, gradually hiking up each others shirt and tickling oh so softly without either laughing or saying a word. It’s kind of become an unspoken game for them at this point. The first one to giggle gets nonstop raspberries for at least 5 minutes. They have a pretty even win/loss streak. 

These two are stubborn, so tickle fights can get intense and often start with no warning. 

All it takes is a few fingers under either of their arms and suddenly its been an hour and both are exhausted and panting on the floor. 

Ena for sure plays dirty too. Does that thing where she pretends to be giving a break but right as Tsukasa inhales, she tickles him again. She’s also really mean by means of going for bad spots and not letting up for even a moment. 

It is no understatement to say that both of those make him lose his mind screaming. 

Pretty much the only advantages he has on her are physical. He’s got size, strength, and endurance but in every other sense she has him completely beat. Yeah he can pin her but that won’t stop the teasing, which is half the battle for him.

Neither of them mind how often he loses though.

I’ve talked on here before about Tsukasa being the most dramatic and playful, but also the sweetest ler out there. That 100% rings true when he goes for Ena too. 

She’s the type to be easily frustrated and then take that frustration out on herself. Luckily for her, her boyfriend hates that and has a much better solution for it (read: frequently tickling her to pieces)

Idk, I think Ena comfort tickles would just be a common thing for them in general. 

Tsukasa is one of the only people in her life who she feels comfortable enough to admit to that she kind of maybe just a little bit doesn’t hate being tickled. 

He, of course, understands that’s Ena-speak for “she loves to be tickled. It makes her happy.” He also knows she’s frequently in need of comfort. 

Body image issues? Soft tickles everywhere she’s insecure while he whispers how pretty his girlfriend is. Insecure about her art? Tickling her until she forgets and saying the corniest stuff like “if your art is half as lovely as that laugh, then you have no reason to worry.” Trouble waking up? Try staying in bed when you’re too busy squirming. 

It is a miracle she hasn’t burnt to a crisp yet with how easily he can make her blush.

Another embarrassing thing he does is the theatrics.

He just makes.. Such a big deal about how fun it is for both of them and is clearly so engrossed in it. 

Playing characters and high pitched “kitchi kitchi” noises serve to remind Ena exactly what’s going on and exactly why she’s not pulling away.

The worst part for her is the fact that he’s not even trying to fluster her with the tickling. It’s just an added bonus if/when he notices it. He’s just so affectionate she can’t help getting all embarrassed.

Ena, on the other hand, does not at all take Tsukasa’s sweetness into account when he winds up on the receiving end. 

Ena loves to draw on Tsukasa in general, like doodling on his arms/hands whenever she's feeling antsy but especially loves being able to take the time to make use of his stomach when she's in the mood for a longer “project”.

Really it's just an excuse to see/touch Tsukasa's tummy but he doesn't need to know that. Sometimes she doesn't even draw, just traces shapes with her finger or a clean paintbrush.

“Such a beautiful and strong canvas. So perfect for me” is all that needs to come out of her mouth for Tsukasa to be ready and able to do anything she could ever want.

She’s one to keep her nails always well done and pretty and that fact has nearly sent Tsukasa to his grave so many times. 

He already loves how they look, he can recognize the artistry and has even considered having his own done. But when they’re wiggling towards him? He’s an absolute goner. She knows exactly how to pinch his ribs and slowly drag them around. 

To the point where he’s associated that with her nails and even looking at her hands too long can put him in a lee mood. 

Tickles to get him to shut up. 

Tsukasa has a unique talent of being able to fill any room’s silence with his voice going on and on and on. Ena has a talent for filling the room with his laughter instead.

Tsukasa can get kind of overenthusiastic and reactive at times, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes though, feeling so much at once is overwhelming and what better way of tiring yourself out than annoying your vindictive girlfriend into wrecking you to pieces?

A classic favorite of his is to poke Ena over and over, sometimes somewhere ticklish to make her jumpy or even just her cheek just to be annoying. 

Because he lacks subtlety, she always knows what’s going on. 

Whether she draws it out and makes him admit it or immediately gets him back depends on her mood. Tsukasa loves both regardless, it’s a win-win.

He gets downright whiney if she drags it on too long but still won’t ask. The best she’ll ever get is a little mumble.

When Ena is in the ever elusive “soft ler” mode, she has a tendency to become absolutely captivated with any smile of Tsukasa’s. She just wants to look at him all day. Every single one of his features is perfect to her. 

He gets so so shy from the attention, Ena just has to tickle him right back out of his shell. 

[quiet-compassion]

OFMD Fluffvember Day 10: Holiday

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51648301

As a general rule, Ed tries not to spend too much time pondering Stede’s old life. It’s not that he’s not curious. He’s extremely curious actually. It’s just that there are a lot of painful feelings and insecurities wrapped up for him in that Before. And he knows that Stede loves him. He knows there’s a reason Stede left all that behind. He knows that he and Mary weren’t happy together. But that doesn’t stop the thoughts that nag at him sounding like “He’s from my world, not yours” and “You left me for Mary”. He’s not proud of it; he’s working on it.

But, if he were going to ponder it, he’d imagine Stede’s old life was pretty boring for him. After all, Stede’s so full of whimsy and drama, he must have outshone everyone around him. Ed can see in his mind’s eye a placid and simpering wife, mild-mannered children, a straight-laced community that could never hope to keep up the explosion of chaos and creativity that is Stede. He almost feels bad for them, having to live the rest of their lives without Stede, but not bad enough to give him back.

They’re sitting together in their cabin, winding down after a long day. Ed’s head is in Stede’s lap, eyes closed as he listens to Stede recount his theories about the island’s local bird population.

“I’ve seen a few warblers, of course, and there was that Antillean bullfinch the other day. But I swear, Ed, the call I heard today sounded exactly like a yellow-shouldered blackbird! What it could be doing here, I can’t imagine, but I’m pretty confident that’s what I heard. We’ve definitely got to keep our eyes peeled for it. That’d be a sight, wouldn’t it?”

Comfortable and relaxed, Ed gives a languid hum of agreement. “For sure, mate.”

He waits for Stede to continue his avian oration but is met only with silence. Cracking one eye open, he finds Stede looking down at him wearing an expression of embarrassment and guilt.

“Sorry,” he says with an apologetic smile, “I’ve been rambling on and on. You don’t want to hear about this.”

“Pft, um yeah I do,” Ed insists. “I don’t know much about birds, beyond gulls, but sounds like this yellow-shouldered guy is pretty rare! It’d be annoying to miss out on seeing the little shit just because I didn’t know what it looked like.”

Stede’s eyebrows raise in surprise, searching Ed’s expression for any hint of insincerity.

“Really? I’m not…boring you?”

“Fuck off, of course not! Now come on, describe the bird so we can both be on the lookout.”

It takes another moment; Stede keeps staring at him in shock, though Ed can’t fathom why. Eventually though, with a timid smile, he goes on. 

“Well, it’s the wing you want to pay attention to…”

…

Ed puts the incident (but not the bird) out of his mind, until a few days later. They’ve been working on building some kind of structure capable of housing animals. A barn would be too generous a term for what they’ve managed. It’s a kind of pen, empty as of now, but the hope is to find a cow or chickens or something on the island to fill it. If they’re gonna be living here long term, they’ll need a more dependable food supply.

They’re securing the door to the pen (with a fully functioning latch, courtesy of Ed) dreaming about the types of recipes they might cook once they have regular access to a protein source other than fish.

“Could make meat pies,” Ed suggests. “I always loved those as a kid. And we can vary it to fit whatever we end up finding.”

“Love that idea! God, I’d kill for a simple roast chicken.” Stede frowns. “Or, I assume it’s simple. I’ve never made one before. Not much of a chef really.”

“That’s okay, babe. I’ll cook for us. I’ll make you a roast chicken—can’t be much harder than roasting a snake.”

Ed grabs their rusty axe, swinging it down to divide another bit of wood into pieces that can serve as fence posts. Stede tracks the movement, flinching a bit when the blade hits its mark. “I suppose we ought to build a butchering station out here too,” he says in a quiet voice.

“Sure,” Ed nods. “We can do that.”

Stede swallows, eyes still transfixed on the axe. “If you’re going to be making food for us, I guess I should handle preparing the meat for you.” He looks like might be sick.

Ed shrugs. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No no. It’s only fair. We’ll divvy up the work between us, and since you have a knack for cooking, I’ll have to handle this. Make myself useful.” 

The words come out of Stede’s mouth but they don’t sound like his. Ed drops what he’s doing to really look at him. 

“Stede,” he says slowly. “You do plenty around here. You’re hardly dead weight. I’m fine handling the butchering. Because, to be honest, mate, it seems like just the thought of it is making you queasy. So, don’t worry about it, I’ve got it.”

Stede is staring at him again, wearing that same look from the other night—wide-eyed like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. “You would do that for me?” he whispers.

Ed smiles. “Of course. I’d do a hell of a lot more than that for you. Listen, you protect me from spiders, I can kill a few chickens to put food on the table.”

Stede looks like he might cry, stepping forward to envelop Ed in a tight hug.

“Thank you.”

Ed puts his arms around him, feeling like there’s a puzzle before him he hasn’t solved yet.

…

It’s another month before it happens again. The whole place is coming along. There are no holes in the roof anymore for one thing. For another, they’ve got a respectable herd of goats and a moderate flock of chickens. They’ve patched up the floors, dug a well, set up fishing traps, planted a garden. It’s been a productive few weeks.

It’s also been a fuck ton of work. 

“We need a holiday,” Stede says rubbing Ed’s knee after a particularly grueling day.

Ed laughs. “Aren’t we where people are supposed to come for their holidays? You know, being an inn and all?”

“Eventually. But also that doesn’t prevent us from taking a break of our own,” Stede says.

His fingers dig into a particularly tense spot and Ed groans. “Ah, shit! Yeah, you’re right. Could do with a vacation.”

Stede smiles up at him. “The crew said they’d check back in on us after 3 months. Only a few weeks left till then. Perhaps we can ask them to drop us somewhere for a week or two and bring us back again after.”

Ed’s sure the crew will be less than enthusiastic about being their ferry service but, for now, he keeps the thought to himself.

“Sounds nice. Alright then, where should we go? What kind of a holiday would you like?”

Seeming surprised by the question, Stede gives a dismissive shrug. “Oh, I’m not picky.”

“Well, that’s a lie,” Ed quips with a snort.

Stede gives his thigh a playful smack. “What would you like to do?” he asks.

Ed pauses, giving Stede a quizzical look. “I asked you first.”

“I’m sure you’d find my idea of a vacation incredibly tedious. And really, I’m happy to go along for the ride, so long as we’re together. So, you pick.”

He gives Ed a polite smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and Ed decides that’s it. That’s the final straw. Pushing himself upright from his reclined position on their bed, he levels Stede with a bemused gaze.

“Okay, what’s the deal, man?”

Stede looks confusedly up at him, hands still massaging Ed’s knee.

“Huh? What’s what deal?”

“Why do you keep assuming I don’t care about what you care about? First it was the birds, and then the slaughtering chickens thing, now this. You keep acting like you expect me to be annoyed. So, what’s the deal? Why is the me in your head such a dick to you?”

He’s rendered Stede speechless, which is kinda a feat. He just sits there, open-mouthed, staring at Ed for a moment. Finally, crimson-faced, he clears his throat and says, not meeting Ed’s eye, “I’m sorry. I—I don’t think you’re a dick. It’s just. No one has ever cared about what I care about before. I would talk about something I found fascinating and everyone’s eyes would glaze over, or they’d find a way to escape my company.”

Ed doesn’t understand. “But why? That’s pretty rude! Maybe if they actually listened they’d see why you found the thing so fascinating!”

Grimacing, Stede doesn’t say anything in response. Another detail of his confession makes its way to the forefront of Ed’s mind.

“It can’t have been that way with everyone, right? I mean, your family? Mary—”

“Ha! Mary. Bless her,” Stede chuckles joylessly, “she had no patience for my special interests. I’d imagine not having to listen to me ramble on was one of the things she enjoyed most about me being gone! The kids too, I’m afraid.”

Ed sees the mental picture he tries so hard not to imagine shift before his eyes. The insipid fawning family alters into a cold and austere household. A past life that is not so much boring as it is lonely. The very idea makes his blood boil, but he wrestles to tamp down his indignation. The last thing this moment needs is for Stede to perceive Ed as angry.

Taking a deep breath, Stede continues on. “To tell the truth, I’ve always felt like I was getting things wrong. I talk too much, or about the wrong things. The things I ought to have the stomach for make me squeamish. My idea of fun, of adventure, doesn’t seem to be anyone else’s.” 

He turns at last to meet Ed’s eyes. “I know you love me. And I know that we have a lot in common, that we are frequently on the same page even when that page is completely wild. It’s one of the things that made you such a breath of fresh air when we met. But…after spending so long being an annoyance to everyone I met, sometimes it’s hard not to assume I’m irritating you too.”

Ed takes a deep breath, running a hand over his beard as he thinks through what he wants to say. “When you sail as long as I have, everything starts to feel very grey. The whole world kinda loses color, all just hazy sky and murky water. Gets to be that nothing can surprise you, not the crew, or the routine of the day, or even the fucking weather. And then here you come,”

he smiles, raising a hand to hold Stede’s face.

“Here you come and suddenly there’s color again. Like literally, because you dressed like a goddamn rainbow, but also there were surprises again. Every day was different. Things that seemed set in stone were now fluid and malleable. Even now, here, in the rhythms we’ve created for ourselves, babe, I am never bored.”

He wipes a tear off of Stede’s cheek with his thumb. Stede turns his face just enough to kiss Ed’s palm.

“You drive me crazy, in multiple senses,” Ed laughs. “But you’re not an irritant, not an annoyance, or ordeal to be endured. I wanna hear all your silly thoughts and ideas. I wanna know what you like so I can give you more of it and I wanna know what you dislike so I can keep it the hell away.”

He could go on. God knows that when he gets to talking, he can carry on for hours. But then Stede’s kissing him and it seems like perhaps he’s said enough. Well, almost…

“I also wanna know,” he breathes, lips scant inches from Stede’s, “what kind of holiday you would like to go on so we can plan the fun and relaxing trip we both need.”

Stede laughs. “Oh, alright! I was thinking, it might be nice to go somewhere with a variety of shopping opportunities. We could pick out some creature comforts we’ve been craving, maybe get a jumpstart on inn decorations. Perhaps we could even track down a bookstore!”

“A retail vacation, love that,” Ed says.

“We could even use it as a marketing opportunity for this place! You know, get word of mouth going.” 

Fuck, Ed loves him. They who came before might not have appreciated Stede for the insane wonder that he is, but he always will. As Stede goes on with talk of informational brochures, eyes alight, one thought echos in Ed’s mind: their fucking loss. 

[madame-fear]

long rant about some feelings i had lately because i need to say it somewhere. i should post it on my sideblog but honestly i lack the will to sign out from this and log into the other account. Feel free to ignore.

Quite honestly seeing all the endearing messages you guys send me truly encourages me to keep me going, and in a way, it comforts me. But these days for some reason I’ve had some recurring grim feelings that burden me, and make me feel empty.

I have a loving family I adore, sweet mutuals and friends i also appreciate with all my life, and i’m studying a career i always wanted to study – but i feel disappointed with myself. I feel like I have no clue where to go in life, like I cant rrally achieve anything too important. I feel useless, and weak.

Everyone in my real life remarks how shy and quiet i often am, and my parents say that im a sensible soul but even if they say it in a good way i feel stupid and fragile. I feel like everyone can run past over me because they know im not capable of saying anything against it. I feel worthless, and like i constantly need to be guided to do even the slightest thing. I panic at the most minor of inconveniences because i have no idea how to react and i overly stress, and needless to say the tremors i have worsen and it just makes me feel like shit.

I never find the right time to say what i feel, nor the right situation. And even if i do and express myself in any dumb way i can find at that moment, i just get called an attention seeker and they blame me as a victim that always has everything served and is spoiled, and even if im grateful for all the things i have in my life, i just keep feeling like a heavy weight on the people surrounding me. I feel like nothing i ever do is right, i never know what to say, i feel stupid. Sincerely.

I dont care what anyone says about me, especially if its someone i dont know. But i know some friends and people in real life that made fun of me when talking about my interests, how fragile i seem at everything and reserved i am, i even heard some classmates snickering behind of me when i was explaining specifically what i studied and im tired of not having the will to stand up. I truly despise myself to the point i can barely find the right words, if there is any.

Everyday i feel like im dragging myself through life and i would muh rather keep sleeping and stay in my dreams than have to keep being understanding at stupid people, and the disrespect. Im always embarrassed of expressing how i feel but its even more heavy to carry all my self-worth issues without being able to freely talk about it. You guys have no idea how many fucking times i had the impulse of jumping in front of a car, throwing myself out of the balcony, hanging myself and end myself because i cant STAND not knowing how to guide my life, where to go, and feeling insecure and i dont say this to be dramatic. i cant do anything by myself.

If it werent because even if i sometimes fight with them i know i have a family that cares for me and sweet friends, i wouldnt be here in some time. I feel like an attention whore and a victim but i hate having to keep it all for myself and know no one will do anything, or think im satisfied with how i am. My parents tell me i should be proud of who i am and all the things i earned by myself, but truth is, i wish i werent so fucking useless. I can never remember anything properly, and im too anxious most of the time. I despise myself and i really hope this feeling washes away soon, because i cant tolerate not managing to do anything because i would much rather lay in bed and do nothing due to my own insecurities.