#and it's not that people hate me like i've made good connections with a decent group of people

[elytrafemme]

everyone please manifest that i wake up a normal person tomorrow because i am treacherously close to going on a fucking warpath

[flightfoot]

Marinette Completed Angst Fic Reclist

I know some people really like this genre, so I figured I'd make a list for it! These will obviously all be completed, and none of them will be bashing fics, and PLEASE don't rec any fics on this post that are bashing fics, I don't want to see them.

Some of these will have my own commentary about the fic attached to it, for if I've put them on a previous reclist where I had that commentary written out. But a lot of the older fics won't.

For a fic to count for this, the angst Marinette goes through can't just be her being upset about what someone else is going through, though the angst of the fic doesn't only need to be hers, so long as she has her own angst which is a decently prominent part of the fic.

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one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus

All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.

Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.

Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.

This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.

It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.

It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.

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you don’t even know me at all (but I was made for loving you) by @ladyofthenoodle

They didn’t remember each other. The hospital told them there’d been an accident—brain damage—but Alya had told them the truth, later. Who’d they’d been to each other. What they’d given up, and why. But even with their memories of each other gone, Adrien and Marinette are still inextricably tied together—by law, by their social circles, and by their hearts. And in the apartment they share, there’s only one bed.

Yep, it’s the “there was only one bed” trope XD! I especially love how it was used here, how Adrien and Marinette are strangers now but they had a whole life together, and they pine for each other even without remembering, and how Marinette just can’t believe how in love with her Adrien is even though he doesn’t remember her. I loved the emotional turmoil the two of them went through together in the fic, and the resolution, it’s great!

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fine line by @bbutterflies

“Catwalker?” Loveybug asks. “Hmm?” “Do you remember… what happened before us?” “What do you mean?” “Before we were heroes. Was there someone else?” Catwalker goes quiet for a moment. “I don’t know,” he finally says.

This is a surprisingly angsty take on the Loveybug AU. Here, since the Loveybug and Cat Walker transformations are so unnatural, they’re having negative side effects on Marinette and Adrien, causing them to be constantly exhausted and even to get amnesia the longer they continue using them.

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do you think I have forgotten about you? by @roseinaugust

Based on the song ‘About You’ by The 1975. Memory Loss. Told in alternating time lines, one leading up to and one dealing with the aftermath of Marinette relinquishing the Miracle Box and the guardianship. Marinette struggles with her life after losing her memory, though there is a persistent voice that calls to her that always seems just out of reach in her memory.

Beautiful memory loss fic here, with seeing Ladybug’s and Chat Noir’s relationship before she gave up the Miracle box, juxtaposed with the present day, when Adrien is only a stranger to her. I could really feel how Marinette was struggling with navigating these new circumstances, with her friends seeming to expect her to remember, to be who she was to them, to Adrien especially, before, and her just… not knowing whether she can do that. It’s got a happy ending though, for those who are concerned about that.

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Our Tales Are Endless (That’s Why I Tell Them) by @joonapeach

Marinette lives a simple life - one surrounded by pretty dresses, fresh macaroons, and the calming view of Paris. It’s a life she thinks she has always fit in. And yet sometimes, when a certain boy comes by her shop with a flower and a new adventurous story, she can’t help but wonder if there’s something else she’s missing.

This was a truly gorgeous story. It’s the classic “Marinette gives up the Miracle Box and loses her memories” storyline, exploring her life two years later. Even though she’s had time to heal and recover, she still feels like she’s missing something, something big. At least Adrien’s stopping by regularly to tell her stories about Ladybug and Chat Noir, even if she doesn’t understand why they resonate with her so well.

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I (Wish I) Knew You by @buggachat

University has been hard on Marinette. Making new friends and maintaining her grades is a lot easier said than done when she has to disappear at odd times to fight akumas. She's struggling, and with Alya away with family and Adrien painfully out of reach, she's never felt lonelier.

If only she could talk to someone who really understood her struggles... but it's not like Chat Noir would know anything about loneliness. Right?

Nice aged-up Ladynoir fic here! Marinette’s struggling with losing friends and lovers because of her flakiness due to her superhero activities, until at last she breaks down. Thankfully, Chat Noir’s there at least - and it soon turns out he’s got problems of his own that he’s been hiding.

There’s some fluff and angst, it’s mostly just the two of them navigating life, dealing with their feelings and talking things out.

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If I Let Myself Love You by @uptoolateart

It’s hard to be a normal girl with a normal life when your mother has terminal cancer. And when fashion model Adrien Agreste moves back to Paris and wants to be Marinette’s friend – or maybe even more – her life is turned upside down again.

How can she risk opening her heart to love when her whole world is falling apart? Especially when Adrien is hiding a dark secret of his own….

- COMPLETE FIC – updates on Sundays

*** No kwamis AU - 100% Adrinette. About half of it is fluffy and half heavy. Please read tags for trigger warnings. ***

This fic can be rough, definitely pay attention to the tags. There’s no villains in this story, it mostly centers around themes of dealing with illness - both being sick and having a loved one who’s terminally ill - and death, grieving someone who’s lost, and how difficult that can be. It can get pretty gut-wrenching at times, especially as you slowly discover more layers of what’s really going on, what both Adrien and Marinette are hiding, both from others and from themselves in order to help cope with their circumstances. But they still move forwards together, regardless.

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Between the Heavens and the Embers by @readersmoon

Everyone in Paris remembers the fateful night of January 16, when the city was attacked by the most powerful and destructive akuma ever created. The assault, which lasted for hours, resulted in the death of 439 people.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was among the casualties.

Years later, Adrien hasn't been able to move on, haunted by the memories of her broken body. So, when the opportunity to leave Paris for a while presents itself, he doesn't hesitate. But this trip might end up giving him more than he ever dreamt of.

This is a fantastic fic, though a serious and a dark one - make sure to mind the tags, and it’s M-rated for a reason. Vee - or rather, Marinette - is going through a horror story here. Imagine finding out that your life is a lie, that everyone you thought you could trust was manipulating you, that you were just being continually gaslit for years. 

As for Adrien, Alya, and Nino... well, none of them took Marinette’s “death” all that well, especially Adrien. Finding out that she’s been alive all this time, in these horrible circumstances, and they had no clue... it’s hard on them as well.

I love how this fic goes into how much trauma everyone has even after the immediate danger’s dealt with, you don’t just walk off this kind of experience, especially with how many years this lasted.

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in case you don’t know me tomorrow by @thelibraryloser:

“We live in a crazy world where pieces of our lives can be erased like they never even happened. I just wanted to memorize this moment so… so I could keep it, if that makes sense.”

Adrien’s heart gave a little flutter. She wanted to keep this moment, meeting him. She wanted to keep… him.

“I understand exactly what you mean.“

In a world that has created a way to selectively delete memories, no moment is truly safe. So how do you hold on to something when the memory of it is gone? And how do you keep fighting for someone when you’re the only one who remembers?

This is a SEVERELY underrated fic. It’s got some shades of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” in the world, though the plot is very different - the memory erasure ain’t willing. 

Basically, the first few chapters are establishing Adrien’s and Marinette’s romance, and then the rest of the fic is dealing with Gabriel being an absolute DICK and using any means at his disposal to break them apart. It’s fantastic and I highly recommend reading it!

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hella enchanted by @xiueryn:

Years ago, Marinette’s father died and she was left with her awful stepmother. With magic forcing her to obey every command, she lived as a servant and gave up hope. When a man appears, searching for the very fairy that blessed her, Marinette decides to give life one more try. AU.

(a different ella enchanted au.)

Even though it’s a one-shot this one is pretty long, clocking in at over 30k words. Absolutely worth a shot, though. The first third is basically Marinette dealing with being pushed around because of her “blessing”, and the other two-thirds is just some adorable fluff of her and Adrien touring the country together. 

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Echoes of You by kittinoir

In the day time, she's Marinette - a normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with... Not Season 4 Compliant; please, no spoilers

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balancing act by fictionalinfinity

“Besides, being Ladybug always came first. It came before school, friends, and sometimes even family. Now it had to come before her health. Marinette had a duty to Paris. She wouldn’t let them down.” Or, being both Ladybug and the Guardian starts to take its toll on Marinette. - the epilepsy au literally no one asked for

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Some Days by @merrygreenie

Some days are worse, and others are a little better, little by little and day by day. Marinette Dupain-Chen is learning how to live her new normal after living in confinement and being tortured by Hawkmoth. She is thankful to have her friends and family to support her. And a very special Chat who loves her very much. *This story contains scenes of violence and torture this is a whump fic*

This fic has some great angst, but be warned, it's not kidding about the violence and torture. Honestly, it should probably be rated M instead of Teen, given that while the fic mostly takes place after Marinette escapes and while she's recovering, we do get a detailed flashback to her torture.

[atopfourthwall]

How would you rank the Ju-On/Grudge movies?

I'm not really a list guy, but quick thoughts on each: Ju-On: The Curse 1/2: It's one movie split in half, though admittedly points to the Curse 2 feeling different than the first by being more a possession movie than the normal format of a Grudge movie. It's clearly just the skeleton of the much better Grudge movies to come, with a few ideas like the multiple Kayakos that would have been fun if done with modern tech and... you know... a POINT but otherwise completely skippable unless you're curious how the franchise started. Ju-On: The Grudge: I know I've watched it, but for some reason I'm struggling to remember my thoughts on it. Not helped by me mixing it up with the remake, directed by the same guy who made this one (he's made the same movie so many times, it's incredible). Ju-On: The Grudge 2: As a sequel to Ju-On: The Grudge it works great, but it is a mess of half-baked ideas and a combination of interesting kills and outright goofy kills like the wig. Kayako wanting to be reborn is fine, but there's a lot of nonsense involved in it and she's still evil after being reborn for some reason. The Grudge: Good remake with some silliness in there and how I originally got into the franchise. The Grudge 2: Garbage. A few good kill ideas and moments (I like the subversion of the classic under-the-covers kill), but it gives an explanation for Kayako's ghostness that's completely unnecessary, Kayako plays dirty pool at a few points, the main character is a plank of wood, but it does have one good line from Kayako's mom that sums up the big issue people don't get when it comes to how they think they can end the curse: "This is NOT about a house!" The Grudge 3: Underrated! I do hate how they abandoned the nonlinear storytelling that's a staple of the series, but the visuals are pretty damn good, the story is fairly solid, and overall just a decent ghost story. Not great, but better than you'd think for a direct-to-video sequel. Ju-On: Black Ghost: Never rises above "okay." There's certainly something there with its premise, but it just feels like a big ol' pile of nothing, especially with an ending where a possessed girl just goes home and punches someone hard enough in the gut to kill them. Ju-On: White Ghost: Your mileage may vary on spooky grandma ghost in her silly Halloween mask carrying around a basketball. It's better than Black Ghost, but has so much silliness in it and there's no reason why either ghost should have Kayako's death rattle since neither was strangled. Ju-On: Beginning of the End: Great movie! A reboot of the series and focuses more on Toshio than Kayako and it works, with some neat twists and good scares. Ju-On: The Final Curse: Running on the much better fumes of Beginning of the End, just felt like a disappointing finale to the franchise, though points for them bulldozing the Saeki house (though as Kayako's mom put it - "this is not about a house!") and the first time in the franchise that two active, conscious people are attacked by Kayako at once (other times with another person they're usually catatonic). The Grudge 2020: Ugggghhhhh, whyyyyyyyyyy. The replacement ghosts are so boring and if you're not going to do anything with Kayako, why even connect it to the series that way? Has a few good moments plus the awesomeness of William Sadler, but it's not nearly enough to save this movie. Sadako vs. Kayako: Underrated! The title fight is too damn short and definitely more of a Ring movie than a Grudge movie, but the Grudge stuff delivers. It is also the only movie in the entire franchise where someone tries to actually do stuff to the ghosts. Like, nobody has ever tried kicking or punching the ghosts (yeah, I know it wouldn't DO anything, but still, everyone's always frozen in terror or running) and here comes our psychic duo to huck a rock and Toshio and for Sadako to actually attack and harm Kayako.

[tprings-hair]

2!

2. My favorite fic from the fandom that I’ve read

ooh. this is HARD. I'll link a few of the best fics I've read so far, but this is absolutely not the full list of fics I love.

for tos:

Sugar in Your Hand by WerewolvesAreReal | the ultimate spirk fic. I'm begging everybody to read this right now.

Human Souls by kcscribbler | tag to operation: annihilate! everything by this author is fantastic, but I'm picking this as a sort of representative because it shows what they do best: pick out small canon moments and turn it into an emotional exploration of the episode's events. this one has spock visiting kirk's nephew in sickbay and teaching him to play chess to deal with his grief and give him something else to focus on.

Command and Control by HeronS | tag to the menagerie. this is such a fantastic look at the dynamic between kirk and spock and this constant doubt kirk seems to have through the series that spock may betray him. also shows once again why kirk is a better captain than spock would be, how kirk manages the optics of being betrayed by a senior officer, and how he can work with spock afterwards even now those doubts have been confirmed.

I need a drink of cool, cool rain by Moreta1848 | the worldbuilding for vulcan culture in this is really interesting and feels very real, and the way kirk and spock are sort of circling each other and never quite saying what they're thinking out loud? very in character. also I love it when anything talks about rain. mind the rating

The Empty Hand by Reyka_Sivao | a look at t'pring after the events of amok time that looks at vulcan society and the amount of agency she actually had. this one is so good, I hate it when people just say "oh she's a bitch because she turned spock down" and this is a fantastic exploration of why it's not nearly that simple

and for aos:

Gambler's Knife by thegeminisage | a look at what aos kirk might have seen and done on tarsus iv, starting with the premise that aos kirk would have shot kodos right there in the theatre as soon as he recognised him and going into wild and dark places from there. it gives you the perfect setup and payoff and I love the characterisation, the detailed worldbuilding, the connecting thread of the knives, it's just so good. definitely mind the rating and trigger warnings on this one.

the ship in port is the safer one (but that's not the reason it was made) by KiaraSayre | one of the things I didn't like about aos is that it honestly didn't seem like kirk was very good at actually leading people and getting them to put their faith in him (or actually want to listen to him at all, ever). this fic makes me root for him as it shows how he learns to be a decent captain and all the many (many) mistakes he makes along the way. seriously, I love this fic so much. read it for the puns if nothing else! mind the rating

[diy-fire-water-pups]

Heya, guys! Just an ask for you guys, especially for Rocky. What do you guys feel about those cyber trucks? To me, I get salty because people drive a frickin TRAPEZOID!! it looks like an oversized microwave with four wheels! Even raccoons are attacking those trucks because they think they are dumpsters. But hey, that’s just me. What do you guys think?

If only the problem would be ONLY that this truck looks like a trapezoid… Someone once joked it’s Lara Croft in her first game - I had to look that up - but to be very honest, I think she has more polygons than a Cybertruck. And that’s saying something for sure.

As the Paw Patrol’s pup who’s specialized in medicine, I'd like to say that this truck is literally a menace on wheels for both passengers and pedestrians. Have you seen the crash tests? The truck doesn’t crush when colliding with something! It’s supposed to crush so the force of impact won’t go fully on the passengers inside. Without it, if it hits against something full force at top speed, people’s organs will practically become puree against their ribcage. And if it hits a pedestrian, even at lower speeds, the chances of major injuries is insanely high because it doesn’t have any smooth lines on its frame to soften the impact against the person! Only sharp edges! It’s absolutely deadly!

It looks like something you'd see in an Atari game, of course there are people who would be a fan of it but that's a very small percentage of a specific public; as Marshall said, the very frame design makes it extremely dangerous; I absolutely DO NOT trust anything that's entirely dependant on a touchscreen to function, once the screen is out, you won't be able to do anything anymore; If you need to look away from the road for more than 5 seconds to do something on that tablet, it should be considered already a failure of programming and danger inducing; a lot of them came out of the factory with already rusty components so THAT SHOULD SAY SOMETHING; oh yeah, you can't even take it to a car wash or it'll come out a huge useless brick on the other side and if you can't wash it, you'd at least want to coat it but guess what, you can't do that either; a bunch of the panels are literally GLUED to the frame...?; every time you go recharge it you need to do it as correctly as possible to not risk the charger getting stuck and eventually breaking it; if you drive in the rain, water will leak in through the edges; you can't even haul stuff or help another car because you'll be risking to snap the back frame - it's not in one piece with the chassis, but connected by a sort of plastic piece to it...???? I swear I've seen Chase's cruiser hold and tow heavier stuff with its winch than what a Cybertruck can ever dream of doing; if anything happens to the back of this truck, you can kiss goodbye to its bed, even though it's not as big as they promised either; they basically made a fool of a lot of people by making them pay a lot more for a "Foundation Series" promising a full self driving feature that, as far as I know as of now, is still not available; the truck just has so many problems someone drove it out of the factory and not even two minutes later it bricked completely and has been at a repair shop ever since; the list goes on and on...

Some Tesla vehicles at least look good and have decent features, though they also have a lot more problems than they should, which could have been solved already by now, but they don't even try, all because the company owner is just... A bad person, let's put it like that. He's got a temper worse than Sweetie's, he thinks he's above everyone else and won't ever take a "no" or "don't". I've heard a lot of other EV companies are making better AND affordable EVs literally by looking at what's wrong with Tesla cars to not repeat the same errors on theirs.

Oh, and one last thing! This guy also went against regulation laws against hate speech in our Mod's country, which resulted on his social media website and app getting banned there. Not satisfied with that, he double-crossed the ban to make it available there again although totally illegally, by using the same IP servers that hospitals, public services and even the very Brazilian government websites use, so... Triple crime? Not gonna lie, it's funny to follow how it's going down there.

[thedecoy-if]

Hi Mae.. I read your response to someone in the comments and my dumbass.. took it completely wrong. You mentioned you were doing a rewrite because of all the hostility and aggression. And I was like why would people be aggressive towards a demo??!!... like a dumbass yeah lol

After reading it and seething and ranting to my husband about how you are such a good writer because I've never been more pissed in my life at a bunch of characters in my life and how my poor MC has such a hard life already and how his poor baby brother is probably distraught. I realized... oooooh you meant the characters 🤦🏻‍♀️

In my anger I managed to lose the fact that my anger was the answer for your rewrite. Lmao I just thought you wanted me to hate everyone! You honestly had me wanting to throw my phone because of the audacity. I was trying to imagine how the hell I was supposed to find a LI in the bunch of assholes I encountered. The only decent person was the damn healer. Honestly sorry. I don't mean any of this as criticism. I loved the demo. I couldn't wait for more. I honestly just thought you put so much emotion in the writing that the characters really just were convincing villains. You are a phenomenal writer.

I can see why you would want to rewrite that tho.. seeing as well we have to actually connect with these people to the point of wanting to help them/ care alil or even romance them and they all made that incredibly difficult to even like them 🤣

That's the biggest change! They were supposed to come off as untrustworthy and off-putting but everyone assumed they were villains!!!!! 🤣 It will be much different in the rewrite. Being mean to MC when you're asking them to give up their life to help you does make them come off as bumbling idiots.

This is very sweet, anyhow. I'm glad you liked it anyway and I'm flattered you like my writing!

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

am I the only one who's scared for the upcoming Aegon the Conqueror adaptation...? The Dance is a lost case. It's destroyed, ruined, made into a minced meat and served as dog's food. It's unsalvaegable atp. But HBO wants to do the same to Aegon and his sisters and it makes me both furious and frightened. Mattson Tomlin will be the screenwriter. Ok, so far so good. He seems like a decent guy. He didn't post anything that'd imply he's going to turn this series into his own fanfic. But what next? I've researched the process of making a tv show, and if I'm not mistaken, Tomlin's sole job is to write the "core" of the story (the sequence of events, how it might begin and on what note should it end, a rough draft of dialoques, things like that) And then that script will be passed forward to five other screenwrites who can do with it whatever they want. What if Condal and Hess - the biggest f**cking hacks in the whole world - will be among those screenwriters chosen by HBO?? It's going be a nightmare. Oh god, the villainization of Rhaenys and Visenya while also making them a total weaklings without ambition or agenda. And yes, it's more likely than not that these asshats will make the Conquest, as well. They're HBO's favorites, since they made the ever successful House of the Alicent.

Oh, and I'm sure they gonna fuck the dragons just as much as their riders. Do you want to see Aegon riding a saggy, rotting Balerion with a dropping neck? Well that's exactly what you gonna get.

They hate Targaryens and everything that's associated with them.

Oh no, I'm right there with you anon. I honestly hope this show somehow dies like the Snow show. His perception of Daenerys is extremely telling of his inability to understand the bigger picture of the story.

Him accusing Dany of being "genocidal" in season 3 is fucking ridiculous. He's somehow construing her actions to overthrow a monstrous and oppressive system as genocide. Like, media literacy is just not present apparently. Since Dany shares parallels with the Conquerors, this perception is very... concerning. So, from my perspective, this is already doomed to be another shit show.

Considering how often people in the fandom like to interpret the relationship of the Conquerors as strained at best, I have very little confidence anyone HBO hires will be much different. HBO definitely hates the idea of any healthy relationships, romantic or otherwise, as we've seen in GOT and HOTD. I definitely think Visenya will end up hating Aegon and/or Rhaenys, and Aegon will probably resent Visenya and abuse Rhaenys.

I've always thought the GOT dragons were extremely uninspired. They dulled their colors and made them all look the same. I liked the HOTD dragons a lot more; but I agree that Vhagar looks kinda bad (she looks like a turtle 😭). Since Balerion is supposed to be older than Vhagar is in HOTD, they might go with the same idea for him, which is sad. Especially since they did a good job with Caraxes and Syrax (aside from keeping her the same size the whole show).

It's so sad and frustrating how determined HBO are to just destroy everything connected to ASOIAF. Time and again, they've proven that they just don't understand what GRRM wrote at all.

[nellygwyn]

girl ignore this ask if it's invasive or anything but i was enjoying gleaning details about your reconnection with The Boy and would love more tidbits if you care to share. it's very nice thing to be romancing and romanced and i do love to hear of it.

It's not invasive!

There's a line from Sally Rooney's 'Normal People' that I keep turning over and over in my head with regards to George (for that is his name! As many know!): 'I'm not a religious person, Marianne, but I do sometimes think God made you for me.' Insert Jane Eyre quote about invisible strings here too, with a tiny dash of Persuasion by Austen. I have known this boy for 11 years. I feel it isn't silly to say I have had a connection, in varying degrees, with this boy for the same amount of time. To be given a second chance at a relationship feels like, genuinely, a miracle. What's even crazier is that, even though we were together the first time around 7 years ago, the connection was still there, for me at least, like...yes, I am re-acquainting myself with him and he with me, but I just feel like I'm revisiting a favourite book I've not read for a little while.

He's so sweet to me, makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world even though I am not (and he must know I'm not tbh sjdisadj). He takes my little hands in his occasionally and kisses them gently, and he puts up with all my little foibles, like the fact I have to be holding his hand at all times and swing it back and forth occasionally. We are relatively long-distance (I say relatively because he's only about 2 hours away from me on the train which, to someone who travels by train all the time, is really inconsequential) so I don't get to see him as often as I would like but we do see each other as often as we can, and I enjoy every little second with him! We are so similar (not EXACTLY the same, but that doesn't matter, I wouldn't want to be the mirror image of my partner) and it makes him v easy to adore. I think he's beautiful, inside and out. He's so smart, he's handsome, he's kind, he's polite, well-dressed, I could listen to him talk about his interests (even when they don't always directly correspond with mine) for hours, he's ambitious, he has promise and potential, and I can see him wowing the country one day, like as a politician (a good, decent one) or something. He wows me very regularly so!!!

I don't wanna like, martyr myself, but I've had a genuinely difficult two years. Don't really wanna go over it all again, but it just feels like I've been surrounded by abuse and disease and death for way too long. Obviously I was pretty ill myself, I did talk about it a bit on here when it was really getting me down. Had a particular chronic reproductive health issue which has only recently been resolved, and it changed my body, it meant that I actually physically could not be intimate, I went from being a sensual person to being a bit touch-repulsed actually (but not bc I found it repulsive, but I genuinely thought I might contaminate or repulse someone else), I didn't even feel like a woman, I felt like a diseased and defective creature...I wanna say it's been difficult to pull myself out of that place but.....it kind of hasn't, because George makes it v easy? I mean, I'm still getting used to the way my body has changed and I genuinely hate myself 99% of the time...HOWEVER....George is gentle, he's attentive, he's genuinely attracted to me (delusional LOL) but he also cares about me as I am, as me, as Olivia. That makes every gesture with him, affectionate, intimate, romantic, sexy, cute, WHATEVER, come so naturally to me. I don't feel ashamed of myself. And.....as much as it pains me to say because I don't think I'm a good person most of the time....I think I deserve to not feel ashamed.

[wildpeachfarm]

Idk maybe I’m stupid but can someone explain it to me like I’m 5 years old how Hannah has enabled or how her audience has pushed TERF ideas or rhetoric? Because it’s the one place the dots are not connecting for me every single time this conversation gets rehashed. I think it’s fine to disagree with how she’s acted in all of this, but it feels like taking what could just be called shitty or annoying and turning it into a moral issue when it doesn’t really NEED to be one to claim she or her audience are acting like TERFs. I just would like to hear one explicit example of how this is the case. Because I just cannot see how it’s “TERF-y” for a woman who has spent years facing immense levels of misogyny to make the decision to distance herself from friends who potentially victimized another woman which looks extremely horrible on the surface, even if her decision was made suddenly and under pressure. Whether she regrets it or not is not relevant to it; it just feels like an extreme lack of empathy to take how she reacted while under a microscope to a situation that looked horrible at first glance and claim it’s her pushing harmful ideas. Especially when she deleted most of her original tweets about it anyways and has not spoken on it since. And I don’t even mean this as hate, I am just genuinely asking. Because I don’t necessarily love her distancing herself either, I just also don’t see the reason to keep harping on her about it or making it into some huge moral issue where she is in the wrong when it does not have to be one. And especially when other women involved from the sidelines have done the same or more than her. Sometimes we can just say behaviors are shitty or nasty and leave it at that.

ehhh honestly that's not even a part of that ask that I was hard agreeing with and that's also just anons opinion, but also I myself wouldn't even go as far as to say "terf rhetoric enabler" (because I don't agree with that) but more so just concerned that she could be attracting a bad crowd in her fanbase unintentionally that some people wish she became more aware of.

last time i talked about this i was getting yelled at to hell and back and being purposefully misunderstood as claiming she was somehow creating a terf army in her fanbase which...let me be crystal fucking clear I AM NOT SAYING OR EVEN IMPLYING. Nor am I saying that her actions in response to the gogcident are somehow fueling terf ideologies. Not saying that at all and please don't think or claim I am saying that.

However, recently a decent amount of people have seen an increase in people in her fanbase (even some that she interacts pretty frequently with) start speaking using terf and specifically radfem phrases (notably during and right after the gogcident) which was raising some red flags for people who are either fans of hers or on the periphery. Now, I've said before that of course hannah probably does not know this and it's not her job to do a background check on everyone she follows on twitch and interacts with on twitter (that is just a ridiculous expectation). However, I think that when you speak a lot about feminist issues, etc. (all very important topics to discuss!) sometimes terfs and radfems just come into your community because they think you are all talking about the same things and have the same ideology. But, as your community grows and as that portion of your fanbase starts concerning people, I think it could be good for CCs to at least be aware of it. Personally, I have more issue with certain fans than with hannah herself but I do think some of her mods are shitty and she needs to stop it with the idea that "any friend of hers that makes a big mistake is no longer a friend" because that's just not going to hold up for very long in the real world.

As per her reaction to the george situation: yeah it was incredibly shitty and honestly I think she could have been fine waiting a bit before making responses because her quick jumps to conclusions (and shooting friendly fire at sylvee in the process) without talking to anyone involved first was a very foolish thing to do and disappointed a lot of people.

I feel like a broken record for constantly having to say this but I get that these female CCs want to do good by the women in the gaming space, i get it. But sometimes they make impactful mistakes and publicly react to situations poorly and I will say that about any cc who I think makes a poor call, guy or gal. I will always have empathy for people reacting badly to initial news dropping like this because I don't know what these people have gone through in their lives, but what I don't have as much empathy for is people immediately broadcasting their initial emotional thoughts all over twitter and then backpedaling when they realize they were being too extreme or emotional. I have criticized Dream for that, and I will criticize Hannah for that.

And you're right not everything needs to be a moral discussion! I don't really agree with people that are trying to heavily mix these two discussions because I honestly don't think they really coincide that much anyway.

I will never say her reaction is "terf-y" because it's just not. These are two separate discussions in my mind so to put them together in that way just isn't something I necessarily will agree with. And I've said this probably 10 times at this point, that I have never once said Hannah intentionally fueling terf/radfem rhetoric in her fanbase. I'm saying it's a somewhat inevitable byproduct of being a large female CC who speaks on feminism and misogyny on the internet. It happens to tiktokers, youtubers, other streamers, etc. This is not a hannah specific issue but people in the mcyt see it with some of her fans because she's simply just a larger female CC so of course her fans are more easy to spot. (same logic on a larger scale applies to the few bad apple dream stans that get the spotlight because of how popular dream is)

Hopefully this makes sense, it is nearly midnight for me right now so I am very tired but I wanted to answer this as thoroughly as I could because it's always an important distinction I want to make and I hate being misunderstood.

[problematicfactive]

New intro Post

New intro post! How exciting! This is my celebration for reaching 25 followers so fast! Thank you all for your overwhelming support in this journey, it really has been a lot.

If you're new here, my boyfriend and I are both introjected from extremely problematic medias revolving around a very bad person that lived in real life. We are both from fictional medias, bit the person of which we introjected is very much real, and We've gotten a LOT of shit for it.

Spaces that claim to be safe spaces for systems-- or God forbid, safe spaces for *problematic* introjects and alters, tend to be rude or spiteful towards individuals who are factives from problematic sources.

I firmly believe this hateful stance comes from a place of not understanding, so I've created this blog to give people who don't understand a chance to talk and speak to us without losing their cool as we also stay anonymous on this blog. They're always nice until they find out who you are /hj . Since it's creation, the blog has since turned into a big place for problematic factives to just feel safe and seen. I'm beyond happy about this, and glad my blog can serve both purposes. More under the cut!

We post a lot of everything!

We answer asks from people who have questions about us or about being problematic factives, we make positivity posts for problematic factives, problematic factive culture is... posts, and lots of other things you could think of. Feel free to vent in our askbox or message us for a chat! We'd love to have a friend.

Some things off the top of my head that I can't do on this blog (but if you end up making a blog for these things and need a mod, totally hmu!)

Stimboards/Moodboards etc. - I would literally love to do these but the problem is I know like nothing about anyone. Of you were to ask me for a Donald Trump moodboard I honestly do not know what I would do my mind would just blank. That being said, in decently good at making them so if there were a person I knew well enough to do a stimboard on, I definitely could

Icon edits - This is somthing I'm capable of doing, but it isn't something where I would want this entire blog to just turn into requests. If you're making a blog specifically for these creative requests things totally hmu

Art - I cannot draw but my hope is that that changes in the future.

-

Meet us!

My last intro post didn't really have any information on us as people let's try and fix that.

I can't tell you my name, but you can call me Anxiety. I'm the main mod and significantly less source connected/more source ashamed. I go by he/Anxiety with Anxiety being able to work in place of either a name or a pronoun. Unless the host is helping out with something, anything that isn't labeled comes from me. I'm the only one out of the two of us with the physical ability to type so when he posts something, it's a little special occasion and deserves a label.

My boyfriend doesn't have a name option other than a source one. On the blog he has only been referred to as my boyfriend, but if you need a name for him, call him NPC. He uses he/him pronouns and will sign off any post that he thinks up all on his own with -NPC and tagged with # npc posts

Tagging

Here is some of the tagging we use on this blog

# problematic factive culture = Problematic factive culture is.. posts

# kindness and positivity = Kind and Positive asks we've received

# good thoughtful questions = Good questions we received as asks

# positivity post = Positivity posts

# problematicfactive blog things = things that ate moreso related to one of the mods or running the blog than they are about problematic factives

# rainy day drafts = drafts that could be super old because I made them and them left them in the drafts so I could post when I don't have anything else to post

# queued because I am asleep 😊 / queued because hopefully I'm sleeping = posts that I queue to be 5-ish hours away from the last post. I often post somthing at 12 am Eastern Time regardless of the last something was posted, so those early morning positivity posts tend to also be queued with the tag

If you come across us and like what we do, consider boosting or realigning this post! I'd love for as many people to find out we exist as possible

# askers experience = Asks sent in where an asker tells me about their life

# npc posts = posts my npc wrote as a mod on this blog (does not apply to posts where "my boyfriend's answer" is me paraphrasing or trying to speak for him)

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Why Characters Matter- Witcher S3 (Vol. 1)

Full spoilers for our four lead character arcs in S3 of The Witcher are below. I am going fully off of memory. I swear, I only have good things to say. (Especially my favorite idiot, he made me cry)

To me, character drives the heart of shows and I finally feel like Witcher has gained some of its heart back.

My biggest problem with Witcher Seasons 1-2 is that I felt like we had no reason to believe our core 4. They had almost no reason to hang out.

Why should I care about Geralt and Jaskier's friendship? Geralt fucking hates him! Jaskier has spent most of his life hated, disliked, or ignored. Hell, in season 2 Jaskier had better chemistry with Yen than Geralt did.

Why should I care about Yennifer/Geralt? I know it's going to happen, and honestly, they spend all of their on-screen time fucking! They never hang out as friends, or people trying to get to get to know each other?

This show took my every criticism and said 'Okay, bet'. It made me fall in love with these characters again. This is a really solid season of television with heart, better cinematography and writing.

NOW: For background. I've seen all of the show and played a bit of the game. I also went through a 'lore of Witcher' phase on YouTube analyzing the books. Add onto all that a full 2 years of my life reading fanfic (Geralt/Jaskier, Jaskier/Yen, Geralt/Yen, or all of them in a poly relationship). I am no expert in the series, but where the show failed me, I went to other forms of the story.

So when I say I care about these characters, I am not talking out of my ass. I am going to go character by character and explain why this season helped me care again.

Ciri: Season 2 she was just kind of there? Yeah, she was learning, but she was a plot device. Yen wanted her, the Witchers wanted her, etc. In Season 3 I finally see a girl desperate for connection and safety. She asks all three adults what she should be in life for advice because shes scared. ('I see a powerful ruler regardless of what you do', 'in the future, if you are queen you're life will be shit'. and 'I like who you are now, focus on that and what makes you happy')

She is also SO SMART. I love she tries to impress Geralt with her monster knowledge. That she is really giving it her all with Yen and magic. But she knows that she just can't fit in with the Sorceress, and feels that she's wasting her gifts with Geralt. I know how her story ends and it hurts me to know that her optimism might just get crushed. SHE'S A CHILD!!!!

Yennifer: I AM SO SORRY I DOUBTED YOU! She is the boss ass bitch, I love her, and I fully forgive her for her self-sabotaging in Season 2. She genuinely wants to try to repair shit with Geralt. GENUINELY APOLOGIZING. Starting slow, showing Geralt that she's not just trying to be friendly for a cheap fuck. They spend time together. She is at war trying to balance her circles of influence AND take care of a kid. When she talks to her old friends, I SEE that being vague and secretive is hurting her. BUT SHE HAS TO for her family.

This is the first time I looked at Yen and thought 'She loves him'. All the 'magic kiss slowmo' bullshit didn't work for me. But when she wrote out 'your friend Yennifer' I BELIEVED HER. She's also so funny? Her struggle wearing masks is so relatable, and her teaching Ciri is heartbreaking.

GERALT: I LOVE THIS FUCKING HIMBO. He's trying to balance opening up, running away from authorities, and being a decent role model for his kid.

HE APOLOGIZED! MULTIPLE TIMES! For all his shitty actions! He does it so casually and earnestly! To Jaskier, Yen and Ciri. I don't know where this development happened, but GOD, I love it. He opens up!!!! He smiles, he get's soft, and he gets scary when he needs to!

He went from 'uncaring baddass' to 'oh god, he's a socially awkward nerd'. I finally see a Geralt I recognize. He's smart, and skilled but still struggles with socializing and doing what is right.

EPISODE 5 OH MY GOD. I am so happy they split this series up so we can stew in the cliffhanger!!!

I was on the edge of my seat. Geralt and Yen trust each other so implicitly they're able to make plans on the fly!

Jaskier: He's my favorite. Always has been. (I can write a paper on him this season I swear)

I went into this season expecting him to be in maybe a few scenes, but NO. My man was relevant to the plot.

1.) PLEASE GO TO THE OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK AND LISTEN TO THE JASKIER ORCHESTRAL STUFF. It's so fucking fun! All plucky, and it sounds like you're going on an adventure and falling in love. 'Lessons in Smiling', 'He's a Spoon'.

2.) I FUCKING LOVED WHAT THEY DID WITH VALDO MARX. I was in no way spoiled, I didn't even know he'd show up. So I literally had to pause I squealed so loud. I wanted Jaskier to be treated well, and I wanted CANON Valdo Marx! I GOT BOTH! Also, All is Not As It Seems is a banger, but maybe overplayed. As Valdo deserves! You get the sense that Valdo is chasing trends and Jaskier fucking despises this man.

3.) THE ROMANTIC ARC. Now. I was spoiled that he'd get a love interest that was 'evil'. I fully expected a 'Douchebag convinces innocent protag they love them, only to double cross them'. This is how it starts. Jaskier catches on really quickly that he's probably going to get double-crossed.

Jaskier knows this is going to be a whole ordeal, so he tries to be as careful as possible. Seeming interested while keeping a distance. We can see Jaskier holding himself behind a mask, keeping the fun energy but watching Radovid in most scenes.

BUT. Jaskier is a romantic.

He knows this prince is bad news, he knows that. But something is keeping him stuck there. He sees his prince as someone to be suspicious of. A man who is willing to fake being drunk to hit on him. A prince who tries to be coy, and get Jaskier alone to talk. Who is usually there when Jaskier talks to his spy contacts. But...Well, we the audience has never seen how Jaskier acts around someone who genuinely likes him and who isn't afraid to show it.

Jaskier will follow a man who hates him for a good chunk of his life, writing songs about nature, love and heartbreak.

But in all this time he NEVER had someone to seriously listen to him. To see through his music, and lyrics, and look at the person he was.

So when this blonde prince sneaks away from an important party and admits that he's scared. And sings Jaskier one of his songs? Not a story written about adventure, or inuendo, or Geralt. No!

A song about how soft and kind love was because it let you be yourself with someone. How a person craves intimacy, even how music is written with untold words of love and kindness. How Jaskier finally feels complete in life! How Jaskier craves to be with someone, to be seen, even if it ends in heartbreak.

This prince finally SEES him...so.

Jaskier falls in love with Radovid of Redania.

Even if it's just for a night, even if it's just a crush. Jaskier can't help himself. He's the one to close the gap. To initiate the kiss. It's so GOOD.

Now. This is a man with bad intentions who is going to hurt Jaskier. I suspect that Jaskier fucking Radovid gave the 'enemy' enough time to kidnap Ciri. So.

Jaskier has always craved being seen by anyone who would listen. To be liked. To be loved. Here, on this one night, that craving was fully taken advantage of, (maybe)with a goal to hurt a person Jaskier cares about(Ciri, by leaving her alone). Even if it turns out that Radovid isn't involved, that he didn't mean for this, it would break Jaskier. Jaskier would close himself up, much like S1 Geralt, his heart wouldn't be safe with anyone. He will smile again. Dance and sing for adoring fans. But he'll never let someone dangerous in again.

I have always shipped Geralt/Jaskier, I really love reading it. I love angst/unrequited love. Hell, give it a week, and I'll read S3 fic. But this season I saw a Jaskier that didn't need Geralt anymore. Who had moved onto someone who at least seemed interested. Jaskier was simply a happy man doing what he loved. He was a weird Uncle teaching Ciri how to be human. I ADORE the scene where Geralt and Yen are talking and Ciri and Jaskier are secretly watching them. I finally feel like Jaskier is an accepted member of this family.

4.) Just seeing someone finally be comfortable in their own skin was so nice in this show. He's a funny, awkward, and sometimes charming guy. He's anxious ass all he'll, and scared and trying to rationalize the shit that's happened to him. He runs around doing stupid shit because he cares about his friends. He's not attached to Geralt's hip, and the audience gets a sense Jaskier has a life! I fucking love this man, and how he tries to seem brave around literal superhumans.

This season treated Jaskier, like how fandom on AO3 treated Jaskier, with respect, joy, and a plan to break his heart!

[loelett]

sorry if this seems random but a little rant in response to what u reblogged about the new tv show.

TBH IT MAKES ME SO MAD THAT THEY ADDED *FORCED* RACISM (and by that I mean Louis taking lestat calling him his fledgling as "slave" like stop thats not what vc is about at ALL?????) AND HAD TO MAKE ANTOINE INTO ANTOINETTE TO SHOW HES BI 💀 I feel like the writers missed a lot of important points about the book and WHY Louis stuck with Lestat and was infatuated with him but hated him at the same time. they really changed character dynamics in it tbh. dont get me wrong, its a decent show, but I just can't see it as the same Louis and Lestat compared to the 1994 movie which I think did a good job in recreating what Anne wrote.

anyway hi 😍🥰😇...

I'm not really sure what forced racism means in the context of the iwtv show ngl. I mean I've really only seen the show through one and a half times but I do know that even Louis himself in the books labels himself as a slave to Lestat's whim (Claudia does as well; she also calls him a slave to Armand) (Lestat also does this in respects to Himself so even he agrees hrejgh) so even in the context of the books I don't really think it's forced or ooc for this connection to be made. Obviously the intention is different considering Louis' blackness in the show, but since this is a theme the show goes with (meaning the racism that Louis experiences in his time period) I don't really have a problem with that wording. I'm not black myself so this is just my opinion by the way, but I've always been pretty interested in the way they decided to change show Louis' race and backstory. It's probably the most interesting change they made imo.

Um yeah the Antoinette thing still sucks, I really don't know why they decided to go with that ?? Idk i always forget abt her so I guess I'm a hater. Agree 👍. We never needed to prove Lestat was bi esp in the first book so wharever? go off showrunners i Guess?? idk bout all that

Loustat's dynamic is completely different in the show and it's one I've rlly never been interested in. I know a lot of people enjoy it and I don't wanna take away from that, so no hate there idk do what you love. I'm just not an enjoyer of the abuser/abusee thing they kinda have going on. Um and the cheating stuff it's all just really exhausting to me. I just really like Louis' reaction to Lestat's actions in the book ! They aren't canon BECAUSE Lestat is abusive and controlling and manipulative and they don't even kiss until book 2, let alone express emotional/physical affection. Show Louis goes back to Lestat even after everything that goes on in ep 5 and. As a self proclaimed Louis self insert I just can't ever see him doing that in the books, at least not with Claudia still in the picture. IDK!

I'm really not a hater of the show, and I want all the Louis fans out there to really think about the way they react to the changes in his character from book to show. There are personality changes that I don't agree with either, but this is a different story and the original one has already been told. I don't have to like the show to respect it and its fans, and the whole pick a side thing between book and show is exhausting to me :/ there r things I like and things i don't like about both versions !

Sorry I know this goes really off topic HGFSHg.. love love

[bubacorn]

alright, so this is gonna be so cheesy, but i wanna make a post with some of my favorite ST fics i've written this year, if for nothing else, just to remind myself that i can arrange words around, and they can come out half-decent. so, yeah, sorry in advance to anyone who has to see this, i wouldn't dare put the fandom fanfic tag on this, this is only for my dear followers, you are lovely, i apologize if this appears on your dash.

Come Beside Me (This Won’t Hurt I Swear) okay, so i remember being so in love with the last part, especially the whole morning sunlight thing. that was (is?) my favorite piece of writing at that point (which really wasn't hard, cause there wasn't much to pick from yet)

God Gives His Toughest Flus to His Sleepiest Vessels this is just pure mush, but stubborn sick Vessel being taken care of is very close to my heart

And I Don’t Wanna Get in Your Way this all started with the "Get comfortable" "I am" and the "You're allowed to take up space". in my mind, they're watching either The Matrix or John Wick at the end for some reason

I Got Problems Down in My Bones gods, this one. the little parts just wrote themselves and there was this common thread between them and i loved this one so much (still do). there's some pieces of me in this and it makes me feel sad, but seen that people related to this one (i love you, i hope you're doing well)

I Will Shield You from the Waves, if They Find You this is very sweet and all, but i always think of it more as sad

Break and Bend to My Basic Need didn't plan on writing this, but the brainworms made me and then it turned out kinda good

It’s All Your Fault, Even When You Don’t Mean To this. this and the next one are twin fics for me, i always think of them in pairs (probably cause i wrote them back-to-back). can't articulate, but it's also very close to my heart. IV holding the back of Vessel's head and wiping his tears and making him feel worth it make me feel very normal, i almost feel like it wasn't me who wrote it

This Is the Start of Something this!!! i made them watch worst cooks in America cause why not. this one's also very close to my heart, definitely one of my favorites i've ever written

I’m Frantic in Your Soothing Arms okay, the implication that Vessel knows nothing makes the transformation easier from his own experience suffering, but he still tries anyway, cause he would take a tummy ache from III without hesitation, if he could. also, rubbing his stomach is just so intimate and he's so desperate to help, even though he knows he can't, but still tries. and Vessel calling III 'my heart' and 'my III' just came to me and they made me lose my mind so of course i had to include them. feeling very normal about this one, too

And the Pain Still Hates Me for some reason i love the base idea of this, i don't even know how it appeared in my head, but i'm so glad it did. blowing kisses was a last-minute addition, also didn't know where that came from, but it's so cute

And Honey, I Only Appeared So I Can Fade Away this one! i had half an idea for this and like one sentence typed in, then just started writing and i loved writing this, it was so much fun and i adore the end product, one of my favorites. now that i'm thinking, maybe i could expand on this

I Believe I’m Not Alone this was kinda based on one of those posts that was like 'you deserve to be loved and chosen, not almost loved and almost chosen' and my brain went 'Vessel!' and then i wrote this. again, pieces of me, pieces of him

Come Squeeze the World and Drip It Down My Throat Again i was a bit afraid with this one, cause i felt it was a little clumsy (?), with the way the smaller parts revolved around a main idea but weren't all very closely connected. but gods, i made my own heart hurt with this one a lot. also, love this title, some of my favorite lyrics. loaded with layers of trauma, but it's very dear to me

I’m Doing What I Must, Which Is Attempting to Kill the Little Boy Inside (But as Hard as I Try, the Child Will Not Die) again, loosely compiled together around an idea, but this took a shorter time to write i think. it flowed well for me, and again, it hurt right in my meow-meow, but i love this a lot. also, the title just wouldn't leave me alone and i wanted to use it for something and i felt that this was a perfect fit. then at the last moment i added a parallel, cause my brain thought it would be nice. i have to say, it is

okay, so this is just pure self-indulgent rambling about my Sleep Token fics, but writing gave me a lot these past months and i really love it and still have ideas that i wanna share. huge, huge thank you to everyone who's read anything i wrote, left kudos and comments, you are wonderful, i hope you are doing okay! 💕 drop by my dms/tag me if you want to yell at me or something

not gonna say have a great next year or anything like that, cause i don't like making a big deal out of the beginning of a year, as it just puts pressure on it and that's so unnecessary. have a lovely day, i hope you got some rest and could do something you enjoy and i wish all the best to you! see you around! 💖

[cryptid-kay]

Is this really a writing post?

I maybe don't actually like write ABOUT writing much, but I wanted to get on here today and state that I've been writing for around 12 years. Started as an edgy fanfic writer, and somehow evolved into maybe a decent writer?

And I wanted to write a post about the importance of writing what you connect with.

Recently a friend started asking about our processes of writing. In this, they asked us about writing exercises/prompts/ etc.

I'm not here to tell you NOT to write using them. But I wanna make a few points.

Writing is Exploration I think I'm not wrong in saying writing is for many of us a way to explore language, explore ourselves, and yeah, sometimes it's therapy. Writing little exercises for me was always super boring because I didn't connect. Or I had to really dig into my brain to find some little piece of me that was interesting enough to write about, and then I'd get lost in it and forget the exercise. It was just a struggle.

IMAGE PROMPTS PEOPLE Alright, I just dissed writing prompts/exercises, but I think if you REALLY need some inspiration. Pinterest. Open the app. Lose yourself in it. Find some artwork that speaks to your SOUL. Then go write about it. Set a timer, whatever your process is. If you want an exercise, use images. Art is emotional, it's personal, and it's interpretive. It's a wonderful foundation for an idea or exercise.

Why I just really hate writing exercises (and you can disagree with me) I didn't grow up with books on how to write. I grew up as a 12-year-old kid who watched movies, read books, and fell in love with characters. And when I ran out of stories on my shelf, I made them up in my head. I practiced writing by writing. There wasn't a "write in the 3rd POV" exercise when I started. There was no, "imagine yourself in X situation," there were just characters and stories and stories, and stories. When I finally got around to wanting to be better at writing I tried the exercises. I tried writing every day. I tried writing what I saw. I tried journaling. I tried basically all of it. I got books, I got online classes, and somehow...none of it improved my writing, it just frustrated me that I couldn't sit down and do a writing exercise like I could an essay question. It lacked all soul and I hated the words I produced. I took a whole creative writing class and came out of it almost determined I'd never be a good writer. Then last year I got stuck after working for 12 months tirelessly on a mess of a trilogy. I hit a wall. And I sat down and wrote a fanfic. Heck, I wrote two. And I read books. And I became 12 again, with stories in my head, music blaring, characters talking, no prompts, no exercises. And I improved. Now I wanna be clear, I challenged myself in my fanfic. I chose POVs I wasn't proficient in, I pushed the boundaries of my prose, but I didn't make it an exercise, I made it a story. I needed that POV because the character needed to be viewed that way. I needed better prose to showcase the nuances of my silly little fanfic. But most of all I needed to connect with the story and have fun. So I'm not knocking writing exercises, but I do wanna say, to all the fanfic writers, to the people languishing because you can't follow the prompts in some "how to write" book, you're not a bad writer. Writing is supposed to be fun. Writing is supposed to connect with us. It's all one big sandbox, so go play in it.

[vacantgodling]

Writeblr Interview

On the Tumblr Writing Community

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr?

been on tumblr in some way since like 2013. been on writeblr specifically since like 2020-2021... ish?

What led you to create it?

ended up leaving twitter (back when it was still twitter) around the time the pandemic happened. i wanted to get back into tumblr because i'd been focusing mostly on twitter for awhile and the yeehan community/my old friends kinda weren't doing shit for me so i wanted to focus more on my original stuff. so i ended up making a writeblr when i heard that was a thing.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

how we really do just be on here talking about our blorbos and having a good time. its nice to have a place to escape with people who also get the importance of not being connected to reality at all times.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

i feel like ask games have kind of died down compared to how they were a few years ago so it'd be nice to make a resurgance of that.

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today?

honestly just post what makes you happy and actually interact with other people. just trying to promote your own stuff doesn't really work (unless you're an artist tbh) but interacting with other people and making posts talking about what you're making with enthusiasm instead of the "woe is me idk how to talk about my wips but i hope someone will talk with me... :((" like bro idk just talk about it. have a good time. you don't have to follow for follow or follow someone just bc they're a writeblr either i kinda hate that shit. like only follow me if you're actually interested in my shit and vice versa. but that's just a pet peeve. tumblr isn't twitter we are about having a good time here not about promo.

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

that's a funny way to put this. rn its mostly been tcol just because i've been on a worldbuilding history kick because i've been cramming my brain full of a fucking alternate history youtube channel that my brain is mildly hyperfixated on. but my brain kinda flip flops around to any of my main wips when its convenient.

How long have you been working on them?

tcol's a wip i've had since i was 12 so like. pff 14 years at this point? jesus it sounds so old when i put it like that. paramour just had its 3 year anniversary on 6/19. vdtrt i've also had since 12. btaf is a couple of months old. like. maybe 2 months old lmao.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

tcol -> the video game etrian odyssey, lotr, history (in general) paramour -> there's so many influences frfr. but the original start was crimson peak and wanting to make something like that but also beauty and the beast and goth lit or whatever vdtrt -> percy jackson btaf -> twilight, but specifically the bella pregnancy arc

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

literally all day every day in some capacity

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

"fantasy" i don't really talk to people about my writing at all in general irl anymore tho. just sets up for annoyance and disappointment.

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

"fantasy" like. i really don't like people knowing about my wips esp if i don't think they have the bandwidth to appreciate them. not to sound uppity but like ik the people who i'm around and the shit that intrigues them is just worlds away from what i'm writing whether it be because its fantasy, because it's horror, or because it's queer.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.

so as of counting (and not counting the plethora of flesh blood recently added to tcol) i've got 419 characters and counting. this also doesn't include any of the ocs i have with my partner which is a decent amount. i'll just stick with the mcs of the main wips. so those would be:

hyacinthus, amon, darren, sjaak, biscella, azelie, piper, forte, deux, san, clear

Who’s the most unhinged?

least to most hinged of this list:

SJAAK -> amon -> san -> piper -> hya -> clear -> deux -> biscella -> azelie -> darren -> forte

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

hya and amon are the easiest to write because i've written them the most. darren is a close second but not first because his whole thing about not using adverbs really trips me up.

Do you ever cringe at them?

nah. i don't cringe at them. i disdain at them. but not really cringe. i get really bad secondhand embarrassment so i don't tend to make characters that make me have that actually cringe reaction.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?

kinda a weird question for me but tbh i feel like its sort of a 50-50 situation. i tend to make characters firstly out of some utility (aka i need a character to fulfill this role in the plot) and then as i develop them its like the two of us become collaborators on writing the story together. sometimes characters can be a bit stubborn about what they do or don't tell me about their backstories (hya is notorious for this) but for the most part they can't really "hide" things from me or wholly not do what i want them to do. a lot of times i'm going to put them in a situation anyway, they just need to tell me how they'll react to it. if any of that makes sense.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters?

of course :) i sound kind of dead in this questionaire because i'm at work ready to kms. but, sending me asks or talking to me on discord/tumblr messages about any of my idiots is always loved

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account?

i look at the vibes of the account, who they are, if they have an intro and what kind of wips they're writing. i mostly only follow people if i see that their wips interest me. some exceptions can be made, ie: if they interact with a lot of my stuff first and we become friendly and i'm not following them i'll follow after the fact and then get invested in whatever they're doing. but on initial contact i like to see who you are and if your wips are interesting to me.

What makes you decide against following?

wips don't interest me or have things in their wips/in their sphere of focus that i just don't care about or aren't really my cup of tea. like let's say someone puts in their wip/personal intro that they hate fantasy. i write fantasy all the time. so like. probably not gonna follow you. that kind of thing.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

not often? i wouldn't mind it bc i actually don't follow that many people (always under 100) but this is bc i can't keep up with people that much and i want to make sure i properly give attention to others if i'm going to be invested in them. but like. i enjoy talking to people about my shit so like. /shrug. i have way more followers than i follow which is why i mentioned i hate when people follow me just bc i'm another writeblr lol. i'd much rather you follow me because you have interest in Me but like, i can't control people frfr.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

yeah! that's why i try to keep who i follow kind of in lower ranges. i have bad memory and it takes me awhile to warm up to people, but when i follow someone its because i want to be friendly and get invested in what they do. so like, i try to do that. i'm not the best but i do try.

[leveractionlesbian]

i've been playing fallout 4 a lot recently, and i've come to realize the story is actually good if you're willing to meet it halfway. it's only crime is being a story that's just "good" in a franchise with three (fallout 3 isn't real it can't hurt me) of the greatest stories ever told in any video game

elaborating under the cut:

you cannot play fallout 4 as an RPG. you will hate it. there is very little roleplaying outside of the very few avenues the game gives you for it (roleplaying as "generic member of the faction you're playing as" is actually pretty fun) because character builds don't build character narrative and the dialogue options are miserably limited. fallout 4 is a looter shooter with a branching story, and if you treat it like that, you'll have a good time.

the Minutemen questline is cool but underdeveloped. you should play it with the mod We Are The Minutemen for an improved experience. but generally, it does a good job making the player feel like a goody two shoes minuteman running to help the farmers and settlers, and building a small idealistic republic. it ties the narrative into the settlement gameplay very nicely as well. imo, they should have just made Preston Garvey the general so that him giving you orders makes more sense

the Institute are good villains. they remind me a lot of Caesar's Legion (though significantly less interesting and well written), mysterious and frightening until you reach their home base and learn more about them. they're also pretty evil, but you can at least understand them on some level: they're the greatest minds of the modern world, controlling things from the shadows using kidnapping and violence because they think being scientists makes them better than everyone else. it's not great, but it gives them enough depth to be more than just "the evil faction who is evil because they're evil." giving the player character the personal connection through Shaun was a good idea too, since it adds a layer of complexity to the question of if you should destroy them

the Synth issue in the game is misinterpreted by a lot of people, but that's because the game does an extremely poor job of communicating it. it's not "are synths human," because we interact with them enough to know, with absolute certainty, they are. the question is moreso "if this group fundamentally poses a threat to literally everyone around them, can you justify letting them exist?" this is pretty well outlined by Maxson during the BoS questline and the situation with DiMA in Far Harbor. the choice of accepting synth baby shaun is a decent resolution to this theme: do you accept this child as yours? it ties into how you feel about synths but adds the extra weight of it being your son. it's pretty cool!

the Railroad questline is kind of terrible, but it ends up being pretty fun, and i don't think it's by mistake. the characters and quests and interactions with the other factions are so absurdly goofy that it just becomes a sort of "fuck all the other factions" playthru in the same vein as Wild Card. it's not very good, but i like it for what it is.

the moment to moment writing kind of ties it all together for me. obviously the extremely limited dialogue options are awful, but it wasn't the end of the world for me, although it is definitely the worst thing about the game. but the companions are pretty likable, and the NPC dialogue has enough character to not be boring, and the side quests are mediocre at worst. there's some good writing in them, but for the most part they're extremely basic motivators to go shoot things, and the gameplay is fun.

its by no means perfect. the dialogue option sucks. the Railroad, while very funny, still kinda sucks. Preston Garvey sucks, and he's the main dude for the Minutemen questline. the reason the Synth issue is so often misinterpreted is because the writers are bad at properly explaining it outside of a few specific scenes. these are just a few problems, and most of the problems are actually extremely detrimental, and a story where you have to meet the writers more than halfway at least half the time is a poorly explained story but i still like it. it's overhated, and when you're just playing the game and actually are meeting it halfway, it's fun to take part in