#spent all day with these two guys basically. my roommates seem to appreciate me. have a few others in the bag.

[elytrafemme]

everyone please manifest that i wake up a normal person tomorrow because i am treacherously close to going on a fucking warpath

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for giving a guy a time limit on texting me?

I (mid 20s F) met a guy (late 20s M) at a friend's party (we dont have any direct mutual friends. Hes friends with my friend's roommate's boyfriend) and we didnt talk very much while there but he offered to drive me home and i ended up going to his place with him instead. We talked (and kissed, etc.) and i slept over and he drove me home in the morning (which was really only like 4 hours later. It was late when we left the party and he had a very early (volunteer) shift). When he dropped me off he said we should go out to dinner sometime soon and i agreed. It was all very nice and he's incredibly attractive and just the kind of person im looking for.

About 2 days later (having not heard from him) i sent him a text basically saying id still like to go out to dinner with him & left it open for him to suggest a day. I didnt get a response. So about 4-5 days later i sent him a text along the lines of "if you didn't want to go out you could've just said so but i dont appreciate being ignored" and he responded immediately apologizing because he's had a lot going on with job hunting and he basically needs to get a new job within a month (he was laid off recently and lives alone so he could easily lose his house) and then once he's settled with that new job he'll hit me up but that he wasnt trying to ignore me. Ive been strung along before (very recently in fact, it's still a little raw) so in this conversation i told him i would've appreciated if he'd just said that rather than just being silent and he apologized again and then i said something along the lines of "i value my time and if i dont hear from you within a month then you can just forget about it". Which i mainly said to draw a line in the sand for myself. I want to make sure im not just endlessly waiting for a text that never comes because he really seemed so great, i know id (consciously or unconsciously) pass up other people and then get all lonely and depressed because im holding out for him. And a month is already a long time to pine anyway.

He didnt respond to that message (its been a week) and im worried it came across too harsh/bitchy/entitled. I meant it in like a "please check in with me at some point rather than just not texting me at all for the next month or two" way but i didnt want to explicitly say that because i just met this guy, we spent maybe two waking hours together, and i dont want to, like, Demand he take time out of job hunting to talk to me. But also, i feel like a text only takes a couple minutes and shouldn't be that big of a deal to ask for (he also texted while driving (driving driving. not at a red light) that night soo.. seems like he usually cares about responding to texts. i guess.)

So, am i the asshole for telling a man i just met that has one month to text me or im done, even though he's going through a very stressful time and is very busy?

What are these acronyms?

[chosonore]

part one | calmness

calmness [noun. the state or quality of being free from agitation or strong emotion]

pairing: kamo choso/f!reader

summary: falling in love with choso was a gradual and slow process, creeping up on you so inconspicuously that you don’t realize until the feelings hit full force. he’s become a constant in your life, your sun, your home. but does he return the feelings?

wordcount: 8k

content/warnings: roommates au, friends to lovers, fluff, slice of life, mentions of alcohol, language, some pining but not really, the amount of oblivious reader and choso will kill you, slow burn, characters are aged up if not already obvious, lowercase intended, [UNEDITED]

a/n: [hello this is a re-post because my blog was banned for a few days! so if you’ve seen it before, i’ve had to delete it i am so sorry if you’ve saved it. but it’s here to stay now!] here it is, the long awaited roommate!choso series wehfuhuehw if you’ve lurked around on my blog before, you would’ve seen the little drabbles i’ve sent suki a while back. this idea has been floating around in my head for so long and there isn’t really a lot of plot to it, it’s really just a really long slice of life thing. wanted to explore falling in love with choso, i just... love him a lot ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ i’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how he would be in situations like this and i hope you enjoy!

masterlist - next

you were pretty sure that you’d scared all the costumers away with your constant sighing – even yuuji was looking at you concerned now although you’d told him that you were fine hours prior. the entire apartment hunting issue was now getting to you; a few months prior, your landlord had announced that he would be selling the apartment, leaving you with no other option than to find a new apartment. but rent was astronomically high and you were already struggling as is. even finding roommates was proven to be a difficult feat, you weren’t sure why but you kept attracting weird people and now two weeks before the moving out date, you still didn’t have a place to stay. worst case scenario, you’d have to rent a storage space and crash at your friend’s place.

“y/n, are you okay? you look… very stressed,” yuuji asked gingerly, after he’d closed the store and helped you clean up the cash register area. “uh if it helps, you can vent to me! we’re friends right? so what’s bothering you?”

you were hesitant. sure, despite not knowing him so well since he’s only been working at the store for a month or two now, you would consider the two of you friends. but you felt bad just dumping the entirety of your worries onto him. so you opted to tell him the… short truth.

“ah it’s just- i’ve been looking for a place to stay because, essentially, i’m getting kicked out of my place but it’s been pretty unsuccessful,” you sighed, scrubbing at the counter more vigorously now. “i need to move out in two weeks but i haven’t found a place yet and the people looking for roommates just seem to be people who would drive me insane.”

“oh really?” yuuji sounded hopeful- wait, why did he sound hopeful? “my older brother is looking for a new roommate! his former roommate recently moved in with his boyfriend so the room is vacant right now. if you want, i could arrange a date for you to look at the apartment and meet him? i promise my brother isn’t weird or anything, he’s pretty diligent with chores and is always up to hang out.”

your jaw dropped; yuuji was your lifesaver. he was incredibly friendly and polite, always helping others and looking out for everyone. you were overwhelmed with joy and relief, maybe you were naïve and too hast in trusting his words but his brother had to be similar to him, you couldn’t imagine them being polar opposites. it couldn’t be that bad and at this point, you were desperate. “i would love that! when are you guys free?”

“ah we could actually head over to his place after clocking out,” yuuji put the boxes and pens back into place before ushering you to the staff room and turning the lights off. “he’s been home quite early lately, so i can just let him now right now if you’re free?”

you nodded in agreement, almost too eagerly, as you threw your jacket on and grabbed your bag, waiting for yuuji outside of the store. it was already dark outside and you almost felt bad for taking up his time like this but he had offered after all. yuuji was furiously texting as he stepped out of the building, screen lighting up his face in a comical way. in the dim light of the street lamps, you clumsily fumbled with the keys before finally being able to lock the door.

“you’re in luck, he’s home right now!” yuuji announced, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his red sweater. “said it’s okay if we drop by real quick.”

you hummed in thought, matching yuuji’s pace as you walked across the street. “does he live far away from here?”

“nope, it’s basically around the corner.”

thankfully, the apartment was within walking distance so you had a slow stroll while talking about work, friends and uni. although you shared the same friend circle, it was almost impossible to have both of you in the same room – yuuji was often busy with club activities while you were constantly studying or working. it wasn’t until he started working at the store that you finally got to know each other, immediately getting along much to your friends’ relief. he had never talked about his older brother before so you were surprised that he had siblings at all. but he sounded genuine when he said that his brother was cool so you didn’t think much of it.

“okay so this is the place,” yuuji stopped in front of a building, pressing the doorbell. “please don’t be too intimidated when you meet choso, he looks unfriendly and unamused sometimes but that’s just his face.”

turning around, you took a closer look at your surroundings. it was an apartment building that looked rather cozy, surrounded by tall, expanding trees. to your relief, it wasn’t a sketchy neighbourhood - you’d always felt wary about walking home by yourself after a late shift. in the distance, you could see a playground and screaming, laughing children. it was harmonious and peaceful, easing your soul and initial doubts.

“oh okay,” you bit your lip in nervousness as the buzzer went off, following yuuji into the building. the closer you got to the apartment, the squirmier you got, anxious about meeting his older brother. the door was already left ajar so you could enter, the smell of food wafting out of the apartment to the hallway. you peeked inside before entering, immediately feeling more at ease upon seeing that the apartment was organized and clean. coats and jackets hung up on the coatrack, shoes lined up neatly along the wall. several photos were stuck to the wall - one of a younger chubby-cheeked yuuji, one of what looked like a garden party, another one of a happily smiling group of people. your heart was warming up; yuuji’s brother seemed like a rather attentive person who appreciated his surroundings and close friends and family.

“choso! did you make dinner for me?” yuuji called out as he kicked off his shoes and stormed inside before you could stop him, leaving you to your own devices as you awkwardly stood in the hallway of the apartment after closing the door. you took your shoes off slowly, stalling as much time as possible. should you just wait for yuuji to come back? or should you come in and greet them with the same energy that yuuji just exuded? but then his brother might think that you were weird and reject you straight away. you froze when a deeper voice rang out.

“didn’t you say you’d bring a friend? where are they?”

you hastily took off your shoes and tiptoed deeper into the apartment, hiding behind yuuji as you looked at the taller man in front of him. his brother looked at you curiously, placing the cooking utensils he was holding onto the counter. so yuuji and him did look like polar opposites. yuuji, for the lack of better terms, looked like a soft peach while the man in front of you had tied his dark, long hair in twin tails and was sporting a huge white shirt with sweatpants but perhaps the most striking thing about him was the face tattoo. you hadn’t expected that at all. he spiked your interest, you couldn’t deny that he was attractive. you had to snap out of it, this was your potential future roommate and you did not need to have any further thoughts. not of that kind.

“hi,” you greeted quietly and held your hand out for him to shake. “i’m y/n, nice to meet you.”

“choso.” he shook your hand, giving you an approving nod.

maybe you stared at his hand a little too obviously, admiring his long fingers, his nicely shaped fingernails and the veins on his hand. yuuji cleared his voice, slightly elbowing you in the side. you gasped in embarrassment, jerking your hand from his and hiding it behind your back. choso didn’t seem like he had caught onto your staring. and if he did, he had enough mercy to not bring it up.

“let me show you your room first,” choso explained unfazed, patiently waiting until you followed him. he walked across the living room, pointing to the side. while yes, he was attractive and seemed to be an enjoyable person to be around with, you couldn’t shake the wariness in your bones. choso switched on the lights, letting you step into the room first. it was empty for the most part, aside from a few boxes that were neatly stacked and placed in the corner. the room had a comfortable size, big enough to fit everything that you owned but not too big so that you’d feel uncomfortable with the empty spaces.

“sorry about the boxes,” choso apologized, turning to you. “i’ve been storing some of the stuff from our studio here, since i sometimes work from home and it was more convenient to have it here instead of my room.”

“i see…” you nodded, trying your best not to peek at the contents of the box. “if you don’t mind me asking, what do you work as?”

“some of my friends and me, we’ve opened a tattoo and piercing studio earlier this year. i only do tattoos though, some of the others do piercings additionally,” he explained to you, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. your mouth fell open, making you look like a fish. you couldn’t hide your excitement, eyes gleaming like you’d just discovered the biggest treasure you’ve ever seen.

“really? that’s so cool! yuuji never told me you were a tattooist, i would love to see your works someday,” you grinned from ear to ear while choso looked away from you, not being able to handle the praise. although he appreciated the sentiment, he didn’t know how to respond to compliments - the feeling was foreign to him.

"yeah, sure," choso replied with a strained voice. in the dim light, no one would be able to make out how the tips of his ears reddened and choso was thankful for that. he cleared his voice, slowly trudging outside of the room to show you the rest of his apartment.

when yuuji had mentioned that he’d found a potential roommate for choso, he didn’t tell anything else. choso didn’t expect it to be yuuji’s co-worker, much less someone whose energy was so bright and happy unlike his gloomy self. he briefly wondered whether you were okay with living here - even if you were desperate to find an apartment, surely you'd at least want someone who was… more open and less intimidating than him.

you trailed behind his broad frame, carefully taking in the entirety of the apartment. it seemed like there was nothing to worry about. even though you've only known him for a few minutes, you felt at ease with him and that gave you a better feeling about moving in with him. yuuji was innocently sitting on the couch, spooning the soup choso had prepared earlier while watching tv. his eyes followed the pair, relieved that there was less awkwardness than he anticipated but slightly suspicious because… there was something.

as choso showed you the rest of the apartment - kitchen, living room and bathroom - he comprehensively explained expenses and house rules to you. there weren't many rules to begin with; choso simply disliked clutter and expected everything to be put back to its original place after use, being noisy was a no-go as well. everything in between was negotiable. by the end of the apartment tour, you joined yuuji in the living room. he shot you a questioning look, raising his eyebrow in curiosity. you were certain that you'd take the offer. there was no way this opportunity would go to waste.

"thank you for showing me around, choso," you smiled at him gratefully. "if you're okay with me moving in, i'd love to become your roommate. i think we'll get along well."

the last box was haphazardly tossed in the corner of your room, earning you a disapproving glare from choso. exhausted, you flopped on the bed and spread across it like a starfish. choso placed the remaining boxes on the floor. moving day was, despite choso coming to your rescue, utterly chaotic and tiring. your muscles were aching from overexertion and there was no remaining energy or nerve for you to attend to unpacking. you felt like a jellylike mass.

"i'll cook something for us. do you have any preferences or dislikes?"

you lifted your head slightly to peek at choso who was standing in the doorway, on his way out. “you’ll cook for me? what are you, an angel?”

choso didn’t reply, simply stared at you. he was used to such antics - it reminded him of his childhood when he was still living with yuuji and taking care of him. lethargically, you shook your head and planted your face back in the pillow. "no, i'm okay with anything. will inhale anything as long as it's edible," though your voice was muffled, choso understood you nonetheless. he made a confused, albeit affirmative noise before disappearing. a long exhale left your lips. truthfully, you were lucky to have an amazing roommate like choso. even though you didn't know each other well and he wasn't very talkative, he was very much willing to help. with time, you were sure he would warm up to you and become great friends. your eyes were slowly drooping, the exhaustion settling in your bones. within minutes, you dozed off into a deep, comfortable slumber. you didn't wake until a knock roused you out of your sleep, startling you in the process.

"huh? yeah?" you scrambled hastily, trying to fix the bird's nest that was your hair. choso did not need to see you in this state - delirious from being woken up from your deep slumber, feeling as if you'd woken up in a new century and with imprints of your pillows and blanket on your skin. before you could make yourself presentable, choso had already opened the door and stared at you unabashedly.

you blinked dumbfounded, staring back at him.

“food’s ready. you coming?” choso gave you a questioning look, waiting for a reaction. so apparently, he did not care what you looked like after waking up. he didn’t even bat an eyelid at your messy state, unfazed by it.

“uh yeah, give me a minute,” you replied after a few moments passed, sitting up tiredly. choso nodded before closing the door behind him as he returned to the kitchen. grabbing yourself a fluffy blanket, you wrapped it around yourself and waddled outside. whatever he had prepared, it smelled divine. you hummed in content as you took a seat at the dining table. the table was already set, dishes still steaming and looking so inviting that you had to stop yourself from drooling. choso padded to the table, placing some drinks on the table before taking a seat as well. as he described the dishes he'd cooked for the two of you, you inconspicuously looked him up and down. this time, without yuuji catching wind of it.

you knew choso was tall and very broad but you only realized the full extent of it seeing how the chair seemed tiny in comparison to his frame. his hair was down for a change, falling just above his shoulders. as usual, he was wearing comfortable clothes; a big shirt, big enough that you could admire his arm muscles and hands every time the sleeves moved. not only was he attractive, he was incredibly attentive and helpful as well, not expecting anything in return.

"thank you for cooking, i really appreciate it. looks really good," you complimented choso, taking a bite from the dish. you hummed delighted, wiggling in your seat happily. "oh my god, this is so delicious! where did you learn cooking like this?"

"i used to cook for yuuji and myself a lot."

"i wanna return the favour too but now i kind of feel inadequate," you joked lightly, smiling at him sheepishly. while you weren't the worst cook, you weren't outstandingly great either. choso however, was probably the best cook you knew.

"i don't mind. as long as you do your best, it's the thought that counts."

you nodded in agreement, taking a sip from your drink. silence fell over you; a comfortable silence however, both of you just enjoying the food. you supposed it wasn't too bad if you took your time getting to know each other - after all, choso seemed like someone who would quickly recoil if cornered. it wasn't too much of a concern.

after finishing the meal, you helped him clean up and wash the dishes. nudging him gently, you asked: "do you want to watch some movies after? yuuji recommended me a few that i have yet to check out."

choso took the plates, drying them with the towel before placing them back to their designated spots. "sure, you're responsible for the movie selection then."

spending time with choso was easy, almost too easy. you were glad that the two of you were off to a good start, he didn't seem to mind your company and you enjoyed his. cheerfully, you put the movie on, snuggling the blanket that was wrapped around you. the way you were laying on the couch was reminding choso of a little burrito. unbeknownst to him, the corner of his lips lifted a little at the sight. he waited until you noticed him and shuffled a little so he could sit on the couch as well. the movie you had chosen was a lighthearted comedy, one that yuuji had highly praised and recommended you watch first.

midway through the movies, the exhaustion was creeping up on you, making you feel heavy and sleepy until you slumped against choso's side. he glanced to the side, observing you to see whether you would wake up. soft and steady breaths left your lips, already asleep within seconds. choso pondered whether to wake you now, worrying that you would miss out on the movie that you were so eager to watch. you looked so peaceful that he felt bad, deciding to wake you once the movie was over. but even choso couldn't shake the tiredness, gradually slumping against you until sleep overtook him as well.

as the sun was rising, light was flooding the apartment, filling it with warmth. you scrunched your eyebrows at the brightness, attempting to move so it wouldn't blind you. the first thing you noticed was your strained neck - probably because of the weird position you had slept in - and the second thing was that something heavy was laying on your lap. blinking in confusion, you peeked, groaning inwardly at the blinding light. black hair was splayed across your lap, connecting to… choso? oh no. oh no. you must've fallen asleep while watching the movie and judging how choso was comfortably using your lap as a pillow, he did as well. embarrassment spread throughout your body; this wasn't supposed to happen, much less with someone you didn't know so well.

now that you were unintentionally watching him, you felt creepy. the situation was too perplexing to you - should you wake him now? or just wait… until he woke up? but what if you had to pee. what if choso wasn’t going to wake up until a few hours later? what if he woke up and saw you staring at him like a creep? though you did think he looked vulnerable and peaceful in this state, unusual from his intimidating, unwavering self. it made your heart tingle with an unknown feeling, softly bubbling with curiosity.

beneath you, choso was moving slightly, shuffling around until he felt comfortable. you stayed still, tensely watching his next movements. he remained still for a while, making you exhale in relief. until he didn’t. choso blinked a few times, trying to make sense of his surroundings until his gaze fell onto yours. and you stared back, frozen in fear. even if he was the one laying on your lap, you felt anxious.

“uh i… we must’ve fallen asleep last night, ha ha…”

“you fell asleep early on and i was going to wake you after the movie ended but fell asleep myself, i’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable,” choso apologized sincerely and sat up right away, rubbing his eyes sleepily. even though he looked rather deadpan, there was a trace of embarrassment on his face.

“oh no, it’s okay! we both fell asleep after all… ah, since we’re roommates, we’re sort of friends now, right? so don’t mind it too much, it happens!” you gave choso a reassuring smile, showing him that there was no bad blood between you.

choso nodded slowly. “i guess so. i’m glad you don’t mind. "

an awkward pause.

"do you have classes anytime soon? i can make breakfast for us.”

and just like that, the tension between you was alleviated. not completely gone, but barely noticeable. choso stretched like a cat, yawning quietly before he got up. you couldn't help but glance at his toned stomach, eyes almost bulging at the sight. turning to the side, you hid your face and cleared your voice. "i don't have classes today but i have to go to work later. so i won't say no to breakfast if you're making it."

"how's living with choso?" yuuji questioned you curiously, leaning against the counter. lowering the pen and writing board you were holding, you hummed in thought. in the past few weeks, the two of you had settled into a comfortable routine. there were minor hiccups here and there but the issues were easily resolved - somehow, you silently understood each other, an important foundation for a good friendship.

"pretty relaxing, to be honest. he's a good roommate and friend," you replied, clicking with the pen which earned you an annoying glance from yuuji. "you should've told me he was a great cook! i don't think i've ever tasted any dishes that were as good as his."

"he cooks for you?" the surprised tone in yuuji's voice startled you. was that out of the ordinary? you just thought he was being a good friend when he prepared dinner for you whenever you had a late shift.

"uh yeah? mostly when i come home late or when we have movie nights together. i always tell him that i can definitely help but he insists that he's fine doing it himself."

"i see. choso just doesn't like people messing with his cooking routine, that's all. i'm not even allowed near the kitchen, even though i'm not that bad of a cook either," yuuji laughed, scratching his head sheepishly. he wasn't going to tell you why he was perplexed by the fact that choso willingly cooked for you. it was too early to make any assumptions; he just couldn't shake the feeling that there was something at play. no one knew his brother better than him - choso would never do any favours for persons he didn't care about, persons that weren't family or extremely close friends. while they had talked about choso's thoughts about you, he never mentioned anything more than getting along well and often spending time together. for choso's standards, you were a quite close friend.

"oh, and here i was, thinking that he must really hate my cooking skills. so it's just that," you concluded, grinning happily. he was weirdly persistent about it but knowing this detail about him, you'd stop pestering him in the future. "hey do you wanna come over tomorrow? it's movie night again, i'm sure you'd enjoy it too."

"hmm, sounds tempting. if you can convince choso to cook, i'm in."

"pff, who would say no to this face," you retorted mischievously, showing yuuji the best puppy face you could muster up. he groaned, pushing you gently.

"show off," he told you jokingly and rolled his eyes. "i don't know how choso tolerates you."

"you're just jealous, huh? didn't think you had that emotion in you. choso and me are the bestest of friends, of course we get along well," you stuck your tongue out at yuuji before leaving him to his own devices as you bolted to the cash register to help a customer. as you animatedly conversed with them, yuuji shook his head. it was obvious that there was some attraction but that was something he'd let you figure out. cupid wasn't a well-fitting job for him. friends, my ass.

"huh, did you say something, yuuji?"

"no, not at all."

soft, melodious music was playing in the background as you silently sat at the counter, watching choso prepare some meals before yuuji was visiting. this time, you heeded his advice, not pestering his brother about needing help and instead just opting to watch him and make light conversation. choso seemed to have noticed as well, mood ever so slightly lifted when he saw you simply taking a seat and asking about his day. he liked this routine, being able to go about his day without someone unwantedly poking their nose into his business until he felt comfortable enough to talk about it. as you absentmindedly doodled on a napkin, choso casually told you about his day at work. about squirmy customers who were getting their first tattoo done, about those that had interesting ideas that he was still trying to find ways to implement, about how noisy his co-workers were and that they wanted to have a night out soon.

“do you wanna join us? you said you wanted to meet my friends,” choso asked, briefly glancing up at you as he was dicing the vegetables. it was true, you did inquire about his friends at some point, more so jokingly and out of curiosity - although he complained about them every now and then, you could tell that he deeply cared about them. choso was the kind of person who acted like a mother hen around friends and sometimes nagged a lot more than you anticipated. but then somehow, miraculously, every minuscule task that would stress you was completed and topped with a freshly made, warm dish by the end of the day. he wasn't good with words but his actions made up for it.

you didn’t expect him to offer you to tag along. he was comfortable enough to introduce you to his friends, even seemed to trust you with them. it felt… strangely heartwarming. "i would love to join you but i have quite a lot of assignments piling up; i'll have to do some night shifts to finish them," you replied and sighed ruefully, putting the pen away. "i'll tag along once i've finished everything, okay?"

choso frowned slightly. "but don't overwork yourself. you'll end up frustrated and burnt out," he told you earnestly, reaching out to pat your head. you gaped at him, the fond gesture making you feel flustered. it was nice knowing that he was looking out for you. choso stared back at you, seemingly startled by his own gesture as well. his hand had moved faster than he could react - he didn't know what to make of it.

the ring of the doorbell interrupted every trail of thought and you jumped up quickly. "i'll get it!" you sprinted towards the entrance, letting yuuji in. perhaps you greeted him too overzealously, yuuji looked at you like he knew something was up. nonetheless, he didn't mention anything, instead presenting you the bottle of wine and some dvds that he brought. choso gave his younger brother an acknowledging grunt, too absorbed in his tasks. taking in his surroundings as he got comfortable on the couch, he noticed some subtle changes in the apartment - the numerous pillows and fleece blankets littered across the couch, the set of matching mugs as well as choso's sketchbooks and, presumably, your textbooks on the coffee table. it was obvious that the two of you spent a lot of time together.

even throughout dinner, yuuji realized that choso had taken a liking to you, more than he probably realized and let on. he almost felt like a third wheel watching how you animatedly talked about trivial things and even more so when it was movie time. like a little burrito, you were wrapped in a blanket, leaning against choso. though it surprised yuuji to see his older brother opening up to you so rapidly, he was happy about it. although chaotic and clumsy, you were a good person and a positive influence. having witnessing how choso had closed up and how hurt he had been after the break up of his previous relationship, yuuji was glad that he wasn't cautious around you and welcomed your presence. even though… both of you were painfully oblivious.

"should we wake her?" yuuji asked as he saw you snuggling into choso's side, peacefully sleeping while the movie was still on.

"no, it's okay. she often falls asleep midway through movies, i just let her sleep. probably exhausted from uni."

yuuji looked at him as if he grew three heads. "so you just let her sleep? and you… sleep on the couch too?"

"hm? yeah, kind of. i feel bad about waking her and we're friends so it's not that big of a deal," choso replied innocently, shifting slightly so he was comfortable while keeping his arm around you. ever so slightly, he leaned onto you.

yuuji buried his face in his hands, silently screaming. don't comment on it, don't say anything, it's none of your business. you might have pink hair but you're no cupid.

utterly exhausted, you made your way into the apartment. you flopped onto the couch, grunting in irritation when you heard choso calling your name. staying put, you just laid there and listened to his footsteps nearing. "you okay? did anything happen?" he questioned, leaning over the couch to look at you. you weren't even sure what to answer, whatever you were feeling at the moment was an accumulation of stress across multiple weeks. you were frustrated with your projects, feeling like you weren't making any progress and not having time for yourself whatsoever. all you needed was a break, a pick me up.

"do you wanna talk about it?" choso repeated again but you shook your head, lifting your head slightly to look at him. he almost felt bad for thinking that you looked adorable, the way you huffed in frustration with a little pout on your lips. you shook your head, hugging one of the pillows.

"not now, later maybe?"

"okay. i'll make you a cup of tea." he disappeared from your field of vision. you listened to the sound of the kettle, closing your eyes as you focused on it. slowly, your erratic thoughts came to a halt. your breath and heartbeat steadied and you gradually felt more calm. clack. choso placed the cup of tea on the coffee table, taking a seat next to you. he was hesitant to touch you just yet, waiting for another reaction from you. sniffling quietly, you sat up and thanked him quietly.

"choso?"

"hm?"

"can i have a hug?" you inquired meekly. he didn't reply, simply pulling you into his arms. without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck. he smelled nice, like freshly washed laundry and the shampoo he was using. it reminded you of home, making you feel more at ease. gently, choso rubbed your back; wherever his fingers moved, it left a trail of goosebumps on your skin. not that he noticed anyways, fortunately. for a few minutes, only the sound of breathing resounded. it was calming and warm - choso was warm, so warm - you almost fell asleep. humming quietly, you moved closer to him.

"today was just really… bad. everything went wrong," you confided in him. "it made me feel like shit, like i couldn't do anything right. i guess i just feel really stressed so i can't concentrate on anything."

choso leaned forward, reaching out to grab the cup of tea. you squeaked in surprise, holding onto him so you wouldn't drop backwards. his left arm snaked around your waist, keeping you in place as he leaned back again. you moved back a little, as far as choso's arm allowed you to, and took the cup from him, taking small sips. "i think you're doing okay," he told you, drawing patterns on your back. "it's only natural to feel this way when everything's been piling up. what you need is a good rest and have a reset, you'll feel more refreshed and inspired to work on your projects. and don't hesitate to ask for help, no matter whether it's a professor or classmate."

"i also told you not to overwork yourself, didn't i? and don't think i can't tell that you've been pulling all nighters," he scolded you, pinching your cheek playfully. it made you giggle, tilting your head to get away from his hand.

"yeah i know, i know. just couldn't help it, it's a bad habit. i'll try to get better at it," you promised him, giving him a reassuring smile. "thank you for listening to me."

"it's the least i can do."

a comfortable silence fell over you. choso continued to rub your back in an attempt to soothe your nerves while you sipped your tea. you were grateful for him, he was an amazing friend - you didn’t even know how to show gratitude to him. awkwardly turning to put the mug back on the table, you then leaned against him. “choso?” you hummed against his chest, snaking your arms around his waist. “you know you can talk to me about problems too, right?”

“what do you think we’ve been doing these past few weeks?” he retorted and chuckled in amusement. “you should try to go to bed now. get some rest, you’ll feel better tomorrow.”

you pouted, not wanting to move. fortunately, he couldn’t see the face you were making - you weren’t ready to let him go just yet, wanting to memorize the expanse of his chest, his warmth, the way his arms felt around you. it made you feel safe, like a temporary relief to your anxiety. “can we… can we watch a movie maybe? i’m not sleepy yet.”

of course, choso saw right through you. “you always say that and then you fall asleep midway. you just don’t want to move, huh?”

“okay, you caught me,” you giggled hysterically as he stood up slowly and pretended to let you fall, catching you before you fell. clinging onto his shoulders, you wrapped your legs around his waist. you refused to let go. unbothered, he held you by your thighs as he waddled across the living room towards the console to choose a dvd to watch. while clinging onto choso, you could hear his heart beating rapidly - you chalked it up to how strenuous it must be to carry you around. choso, on other hand, couldn’t put a finger on the warm, tingly feeling inside of him. did he like having you around like this? stupid, of course he did, you were good friends after all. spending time with you was relaxing for him as well. back on the couch, he let you use his lap as a pillow, absentmindedly combing his fingers through your hair. the two of you remained in this position until both inevitably fell asleep, movie still playing in the background.

“y/n. earth to y/n. dude, can you hear me?” nobara was frantically waving papers in front of your face, rolling her eyes as you snapped out of your trance and took them from her. to your delight, the two of you shared quite a few classes this semester which meant that you could usually share the workload as well. you copied some of her notes, hastily scribbling them in your notebook.

"sorry, i was lost in thought. what did you say?"

"i asked you whether you wanna go out later? the whole crew is coming, it's been a while anyways," your friend repeated, placing her little cosmetics bag on the table to check her makeup and apply another layer of lip gloss.

"ah sorry, i already have plans for today, maybe ano-"

"with whom?" she asked pointedly, narrowing her eyes at you. in recent times, you've been rejecting her offers to hang out a lot; whether it be because of studying or hanging out with… "wait, are you having a date with that roommate of yours again?"

"it's not a date!" you briefly paused, giving her a dirty look. nobara was weirdly persistent about this dating thing, claiming that you would never get anywhere if you didn't make a move. "his name is choso, yuuji's older brother. i told you a million times already. he's been a really good friend and taking care of me when i feel stressed, so i thought it would be time for me to do the same for him."

"a really good friend?" a doubtful look was shot your way.

"yeah, i mean yuuji cooks for us all the time, how is it any different? anyways, i'll join you guys another day, okay?"

nobara stayed still for a moment. you truly didn't realize how much you's been mentioning choso. choso this, choso that, choso here, choso there. even yuuji had confided in her that he thought you might have developed a crush on his older brother though he wasn't certain. nobara, however, was sure. but operation make y/n realize things proved to be more difficult, considering you hadn't had a crush before as you were never interested in relationships.

"fine. but in return, you have to tell me about choso. what do you think of him?" nobara stuffed her belongings into the impossibly full handbag. propping her chin on her hands, she leaned closer to you with a shit-eating grin. you sighed, putting the papers away. it was no use trying to focus on your assignments when she was in an investigative mood. she wouldn't let go of the issue until you gave her a satisfactory answer. and for some reason, it irked you that she was inquiring about choso. why was she so curious about him? couldn't she have asked yuuji instead? it was his brother after all. maybe nobara was… interested in choso? you narrowed your eyes at her.

"i think he's great. might be intimidating at first and not very talkative but when he opens up to you, he's actually a softie. very respectful and polite towards people, always thinks of others first. and not to mention, he's really talented too! he often acts like he's annoyed by people or minds his own business but he really does care a lot. you feel comforted by his presence when you're close with him," you rambled, trying to list all the positive points about him that you could think of. nobara nodded slightly as she was listening to you, making it difficult to gauge her stance on him. was she going to confess now? maybe you should confront her about it. yeah, she would never admit it otherwise. "nobara, are you interested in choso? if you wanted me to introduce you to him, you could've just asked."

nobara stared at you with an open mouth. checkmate.

"you know i wouldn't have judged you at all! after all, choso is handsome too. so really, you don't have to sneak around about this," you concluded triumphantly, patting her arm in reassurance. it filled you with pride to be able to catch nobara off guard for once - usually, she was very composed and ready to give you a sassy answer.

"y/n, sweetie. you're so very wrong." nobara sighed, dejectedly pushing your hand away. you were incredibly dense when it came to feelings and relationships. maybe it would be more amusing to just watch everything pan out. “i don’t really care about choso, that’s your man after all.”

“yeah, yeah, i- wait what?”

thankfully, you arrived home earlier than choso did - for once. and for once, this friday was going to be a relaxing one, seeing as you’d finally finished your projects and assignments and could finally engage in a much needed self care day. placing the groceries bags on the counter, you went through the ingredients again just to make sure you didn’t forget anything. yuuji had given you a recipe for his famous meatballs recipe, claiming that it was one of choso’s favourite dishes. in recent times, choso seemed to be exhausted and sometimes even easily irritable after work - considering how much he did for you, it was only fair for you to treat him as well. surprising him seemed to be the best course of action.

making quick work of the ingredients, you took your time to clean the apartment while the soup was still cooking. yuuji was kind enough to lend you a few dvds, not even asking you whether you were going to watch them with choso anymore. while you felt bad about turning your friends down yet again, you promised yourself to make it up to them in the future by inviting them over for a sleepover or movie night. though knowing them, they would not let you stay in the comfort of your home but drag you to a party or club again. especially nobara would always insist on dragging you along, while megumi and yuuji didn’t really care about where they would be going for the night. her excuse was to find you a partner, claiming that it was about time you realized how cute you were, which you vehemently denied. even maki had told her to pipe it down at some point. all the more, it made you suspicious that nobara had not brought the topic up anymore. you couldn’t imagine her giving up so quickly, considering how persistent she had been for almost a year now.

the jingle of the keys and the soft click of the door made you stop whatever you were doing, peeking around the corner to see choso coming in. giggling quietly, you watched as he stopped in his tracks and sniffed the air, seemingly confused about the scent of the soup. he turned around upon hearing you, a small, almost unnoticeable smile on his lips. “up to no good?” he questioned you teasingly, placing his bag and jacket in the wardrobe. huffing, you stuck your tongue out at him and shook your head. you padded over to him, softly tugging at the sleeve of his shirt to make him follow you to the kitchen.

“since you always cook for me, i thought it would be time for me to do the same for you. yuuji showed me your favourite dish but i’m not sure if it turned out as well as he always makes it,” you sheepishly explained, showing him the pot of soup and the bowls and cutlery that you’d already laid out. choso hugged your side, squeezing your waist gently before patting your head and muttering a quiet thank you. your chest filled with pride, finally being helpful to him for once. if you weren’t careful, it would burst - he fuelled your ego even more as he complimented you, telling you how well the soup turned out and that he really appreciated it. you knew he wasn’t lying, for one because he was a sincere person and always offered heartfelt compliments, and because of how eagerly he was eating, practically inhaling the soup in one go. he even looked like he was in a food coma by the time you finished dinner, making you ban him from the kitchen to take a rest on the couch.

after washing the dishes, you came back to the living room to see him lie across the couch, eyes closed and calmly breathing. he looked like he was taking a nap, until he opened his eyes to peek at you as you approached. giddily, you joined him on the couch, showing him the hair products that you’d already placed on the coffee table. “can i give you a massage and do… uh hair stuff? i really like it when people brush my hair and stuff and i thought you might enjoy it too,” you explain to him. choso contemplated for a few seconds before shrugging nonchalantly. yes! you signaled him to sit on the floor in front of you as you pressed play. with the sound of the movie in the background, you focused on choso’s hair and took off the hair ties first. he got comfortable, turning towards the tv and learning his head against the edge of the couch. gently running your fingers through his hair, you made sure to detangle rough knots before massaging his scalp gently. you could tell that choso was beginning to relax by the way his shoulders were slowly sagging. in silence, you worked through the entirety of his scalp before moving on to brush his hair.

if you didn’t already know that choso was a naturally withdrawn person, you would’ve been concerned by how quiet he was and how he didn’t show any reactions to the movie. you were glad that he seemed to like the entire hair spa ordeal; he didn’t even seem to mind that you were using your hair products on him, the soft floral scent now emanating from his hair as you massaged it through the tips and then brushed it in slow strokes. by the time you were done, he looked utterly relaxed, struggling to keep his eyes open as he climbed back on the couch and sat next to you. without having to ask, he wrapped his arms around you. yawning quietly, you moved closer to him, turning your attention to the tv. habitually, his hands moved against your back, drawing shapes and patterns. slowly, choso could feel the heat in his body rising and chalked it up to the close proximity. it did make him feel a little uneasy however; he shifted you around on his lap until he felt comfortable. abruptly halting his movements, he froze as you turned to him, ass grazing his groin. an electric shock ran through him. subconsciously, he jolted at the friction. the tips of his ears turned red in embarrassment but he reassured you he was fine when you looked at him concerned. what the hell was that? was his body now not listening to him after being so relaxed?

“choso, can i ask you something?” you leaned back slightly to look at him.

“you already did. but yeah, go ahead.” choso grinned at the little huff you let out, grasping your hand in time as you tried to hit his chest and intertwined your fingers so you couldn’t move.

“uh this might sound weird but i think a friend of mine is interested in you. nobara, do you know her?” you squeezed his hand, moving it around with yours. “she asked me about you the other day.”

“huh, really? isn’t that one of yuuji’s friends too?”

you nodded in agreement. “yeah, we’re all friends. i only told her good things about you, of course.”

choso hesitated. he wasn’t sure what to tell you, not wanting to say something about your friend that could upset you. but the truth was, he wasn’t really interested in anyone right now. the recent breakup had done a number on him and he felt like he hadn’t properly moved on just yet. not when the thoughts were still obsessively circling in his head. but when choso was with you, they miraculously seemed to disappear, making him feel more at ease. “i’m not really looking for anything right now, sorry. i don’t really want to disappoint her, i’m just not really up for a relationship right now,” he told you truthfully, giving you an apologetic smile.

you stopped in your movements, nodding slightly in understanding. and still, it made your heart seize up for an unknown reason.

ps.: the story of how it takes reader and choso ages until they realize their feelings or alternatively: nobara and yuuji unwillingly turn into cupids

[90gemini]

Falling Up 🌇 Steve Rogers x Reader AU

Summary: A meet cute on a morning train between pediatric intern Steve and reader.

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: big crowds, just too much fluff ngl

A/N: hope this makes you smile, i really love this AU, might be a part 1 of a whole series:)

Every single morning, as if on cue, approximately two minutes before my train leaves the station near my apartment, I come to the realization that if I do not get into full sprint mode right that second, I will miss my train and then be late to my first class and then have to walk in embarrassed while everyone is already inside and then proceed to feel embarrassed over it the entire day. So, considering the fact that I never seem to make myself leave the house just a few minutes early, for the past three years that I have been going to college, almost every morning I run into the train the last moment before the doors close completely out of breath, and have to subtly work on composing myself much longer than I am comfortable to admit.

Yet today, without even realizing, I got out of my apartment solid seven minutes earlier than usual. My roommate and I were so engaged in our conversation about the events of last nights party so we walked out together still invested in the drama which left me pleasantly surprised with the time I was left to spend before my train leaves after we went our separate ways. The extra time opened a whole lot of opportunities for me, almost made me believe I should wake up earlier every morning and not leave for class at the last possible moment. So, with the 420 extra seconds I got today, I managed to actually dig my earphones out my bag, plug them in and wait for the train with the sounds of my morning playlist filling my mind.

Inside the train, when I wasn’t preoccupied by catching my breath but also, even more importantly, focusing on not making it too obvious I was out of my breath, I became very much aware of my surroundings, noticing everything and everyone around me.

There was a girl sitting down right across from where I was standing, she looked about my age and she held a little baby in her arms, slowly rocking it and I noticed the way she was looking totally spent but the moment her baby made this cute laughing sound, a smile spread on her face completely overshadowing the exhaustion in her eyes. Next to the door was an older woman not so subtly judging everyone who was sitting down and has not offered her to sit and right next to the door was a man sitting down and sleeping like a log. I had the urge to wake him up and ask him when he has to get down or if he has already missed his stop, but in all honesty, it was too early in the morning for me to be considerate like that. While continuing to carelessly look around, my eyes landed on something that opened drawers in my memory I did not even know existed.

It was a book cover. A simple white background featuring a boy with frizzy hair who was flying over a drawn-on city with the words ‘Falling Up’ in the middle. So many moments of my dad reading poems from that book to me before bed when I was a kid came up and instantly forced a smile on my face.

In my head, I started reciting the words to my favorite poem from that book, remembering my dad teaching me how to read with those poems when my eyes fell on the arm holding the book and the man attached to it.

And God, was I thankful for the boosted-up heating in the train this morning because that made him take off his leather jacket and throw it over his arm, leaving only a thin, too tight white shirt to cover his upper body and it worked amazing for me that the shirt wasn’t doing its job well.

I heard the sound of the door opening and saw way too many people try to make their way into the train making it way more crowded which pushed the mystery man to move closer to me. Not as close as I wanted though.

My mind was focused solely on him that at one point I wasn’t even aware what station we were at and have I maybe missed mine, but I found myself not caring at all. The point my eyes landed on his face I was basically addicted. His hair was a gorgeous mess, a bit outgrown but looking so good. And, oh my God, his eyes. I was so upset I am only seeing them under the fluorescent light of the subway because I am positive that it would be an out of body experience seeing them under the sunlight.

At that moment I was sure he was the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on and was already cursing myself because I knew I was too nervous to talk to him and will regret that forever.

His lips would occasionally move into a small, barely noticeable grin while he was reading and every once in a while, his tongue would go over his lips leaving them all full and glistening which led to a whole new set of unholy thoughts entering my brain. And his fingers, the way he flipped over the pages was just so-

‘’May I help you somehow?’’ I was snapped out of my trance by his voice and met his eyes that were looking into mine with the coldest, most unimpressed expression as if he was in front of the most annoying person to ever grace the Earth.

‘’Shit, sorry,’’ I apologized quietly and pulled out one earphone to hear him better because no matter how rude it looks he is going to be right now, his voice was just heavenly. ‘’I zoned out when I saw that book.’’ I pointed to the book in his hand and his eyes followed the direction my finger was showing as if he was surprised I wasn’t staring at him but at the book. I was most definitely staring at him though, but I don’t plan on revealing that. ‘’My dad used to read it to me when I was a kid so just seeing the cover brought back too many memories. Sorry.’’ I said in a soft voice and gave him a forced smile hoping he was not going to talk to me again because I really don’t want to be yelled at by the most attractive man alive at 7.23am on a Tuesday in the subway.

‘’You know this book?’’ his voice broke the short-lived silence between us, making my head snap up to look at him again and I was met with a much softer face adorning an adorable smile. ‘’You must think I’m so weird for reading poetry for children.’’ He let out a small laugh which was, without exaggeration, the greatest sound I have ever heard in my life.

‘’No, I think it’s cute.’’ A sly smirk found its way on my face as I felt my usual confidence come back now that I knew he wasn’t planning on yelling at me.

‘’So, you think I’m cute?’’ The smirk on his lips, on the other hand, was not as subtle as mine was as he turned more towards me, quickly closing the book and focusing his eyes on my face.

‘’I didn’t say one thing about you being cute, I was talking about the book.’’ I lied to keep my cool even though cute truly wasn’t the first word that came to my mind when looking at him. It would be something more in the neighborhood of I-would-drop-on-my-knees-for-you-right-this-momentor whatever.

‘’Okay, so you don’t think I am cute?’’ he leaned closer and licked his lips instantly sending shivers down my spine. This man is too much for me to handle right now.‘’Because I think you are really cute.’’ He whispered loudly enough only for me to hear and moved away a bit to fully appreciate my flustered expression because he obviously was aware of the exact effect he had on me.

‘’Well, I guess you aren’t that bad yourself.’’ The fact that I was not literally falling apart in front of this god cosplaying as a man is still not something I can understand. ‘’And thank you.’’ Saying that my voice got super quiet, and I could see him grin proudly at my reaction.

‘’You are welcome,’’ he didn’t finish that sentence and looked at me asking for my name.

‘’Y/n.’’

‘’Y/n.’’ he repeated and stepped closer to me with an excuse of letting someone else pass and giving them space. ‘’That is a real pretty name.’’ I smiled to say thank you and looked at my feet for a second to get myself together.

I didn’t even run to catch this train yet I’m still out of breath.

‘’I am Steve by the way.’’ He stretched out his free hand in my direction but not for one second broke the eye contact between us. ‘’It’s so nice to meet you, Y/n.’’ God, just to hear him say my name was killing me.

‘’Nice to meet you too, Steve.’’ I connected my hand with his much larger one and was painfully aware of the fact he must have heard the soft sound I made the second my skin first touched his.

‘’So,’’ he continued while slowly pulling his hand from mine. ‘’do you like poetry in general, ‘’he lifted the arm with the book and nodded towards it. ‘’or is it just this one book you like?’’ he asked with so much interest in his voice making me absolutely thrilled he was keeping the conversation going.

‘’I love poetry.’’ I kept my answer short because forming decent sentences was a though job while looking at this man and seeing the way he was looking at me.

‘’What kind?’’ he adjusted in his spot somehow that he was even closer to me, leaving basically no space between us, yet to everyone else it seemed normal because the morning rush in the New York City subway never was famous for the spaciousness.

‘’About love.’’ I said softly and witnessed his expression changing from the cocky, overconfident one he had on, to a completely soft one.

‘’Same here.’’ He replied and as if he can do it on cue, looked even more deeply into my eyes. ‘’I like reading about how people feel things I have never felt, it lets me to feel the emotion without risking being hurt.’’ He confessed to me and I couldn’t believe a guy that has such a hard exterior is ready to share that much emotion after talking to a stranger in a train for only a few minutes. But I was thanking all the gods he was.

‘’That’s much deeper than my reason for loving it.’’ A small smile appeared on his face as he looked at me to continue. ‘’I just like reading about love and watching movies about love and basically everything about love. Makes me feel all warm around the heart.’’ He let out a small laugh reminding me why it’s my new favorite sound. ‘’That must sound so cheesy.’’

‘’I don’t think it’s cheesy. I think like it is really nice to love love.’’ he said matter-of-factly. ‘’It’s cute.’’

‘’So you are calling me cute?’’ I looked at him with a raised eyebrow as he let out a huff once again leaning all into my personal space.

‘’I am. I have once before too.’’ He whispered near my ear and I know he knew just what he was doing to me.

‘’What poets do you like the most?’’ he moved away leaving me upset over not feeling his breath on my neck anymore.

‘’I don’t read a lot in English.’’ I fumbled with the edge of my jacket and lowered my eyes to focus on my boots because his face was way too distracting. ‘’My dad is not from here and I got the gene for loving poetry from him so most of the things I read are in his mother tongue because it’s really the only way to keep myself from forgetting it.‘’ Making a mental note to call my dad tonight because it’s been too long, I suddenly became extremely aware that I am sharing so many personal information about me with a random man I met on the subway. ‘’So yeah, most of the poets I read, never got international fame so you unfortunately didn’t have a chance to hear of them.’’ I felt a dash of electricity go through my body when he put his hand under my chin tilting it up so we can once again face each other.

‘’Don’t hide that gorgeous face doll.’’ Dear Lord, I can’t believe I might actually die on a train because of a hot, poetry reading guy. ‘’I’d love to read some of that poetry you like if it is translated.’’

‘’I don’t know if any of it is translated but you can check, I can write down some of the names for you.’’ I said quickly really happy that he wants to read something I will recommend, still recovering from that ‘gorgeous’ comment.

‘’I don’t have anything you can write it on, we can just-‘’

‘’Oh, I have a piece of paper to write it on to, it’s no problem.’’ I interrupted him while flashing him another smile and started digging through my bag for pen and a paper only to have his hand stop mine making me look at him with confusion written all over my face.

‘’I was thinking something more in the lines of you writing your number in my phone,’’ he took his phone out his pocket and directed it at me. ‘’then I can text you and we can meet up so you can tell me more about those poets and maybe translate some for me on the spot if you want to.’’ The smile was evident on his face when I took the phone out his hand and started writing my number into it.

‘’I would really like that, Steve.’’ I gave him his phone back with a smile a bit too big for the cool persona I was trying to present myself as.

‘’Well, I am really looking forward to it, Y/n.’’ he returned the big smile and focused his eyes on my face once again.

‘’Can I ask you something?’’ I looked at him curiously.

‘’Anything, doll.’’

That nickname is going to kill me.

‘’How come you are reading poetry for children?’’ he left out a chuckle and gazed over the book in his hand.

‘’There are two reasons, actually.’’ He shifted from one leg to another and started talking kind of nervously. ‘’Firstly, this book is something I always come back to for some reason. My grandma bought it for me when I was just a kid and I reread it for too many times, so I always go back to it because it’s safe. Something like playing Friends in the background because there is nothing else to watch but it always makes you feel good, you know?’’ I nodded and he continued. ‘’Second is that currently I am interning at the pediatric wing at the hospital downtown and kids love me reading these poems to them so I always find a few I think they would like the most when I am getting to work in the morning.’’

‘’That is really amazing, Steve.’’ I put my hand on his forearm and looked at him with so much affection in my eyes. ‘’Those kids must feel really special having you read to them, it’s really heartwarming you do that even though you don’t have to.’’

‘’They are going through too much shit, if I can make it any better for them, I will.’’ How pathetic is it that talking about kids with this guy I met literally minutes ago, makes me think about having his kids?

‘’That is really too sweet.’’ I had plans on saying so much more to him, but I heard the automatic voice announce how my station is next. ‘’Shit I have to go; this is my stop.’’

‘’Oh.’’ He said and I swear I could hear some disappointment in his voice. ‘’I guess I will see you again?’’ he asked as if he is not sure if that is going to happen.

‘’You most definitely will see me again.’’ I looked at him fondly again and I don’t even know what force gave me the confidence to do so, but before making my way to the door I got on my tip toes and kissed his cheek.

‘’Bye, Steve. See you soon.’’ I said while walking away from him but still keeping my eyes on his as I saw him put his hand on the place I kissed him with a small smile on his face.

‘’See you soon, Y/n.’’ Was the last thing I heard before exiting the train, completely sure that I won’t be able to focus today in class.

But I don’t mind.

really hope you enjoyed this, any comment on it would truly mean a lot!<3

[starlightinhumanform]

24/7: Chapter One

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ship: Romantic Loceit, Platonic Demus, Platonic Logicality 

Summary: James (aka Janus) works the graveyard shift at a open-all-night convenience store. Logan is a college student who stays up way too late, way too often. While pulling all-nighters, he often visits the store James works at. As time goes on, James begins to care about Logan as more than just a customer. 

Warnings: Moderate Language, Some suggestive jokes, Mentions of ignorant/negative sentiments regarding vitiligo, Mentions of intoxication— some implied to be underage (please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: College AU, Coffeeshop AU but weird (that’s literally the best way i can think of describing it), Mutual Feelings, Fluff 

A/N: — Janus’ name in this AU is James (mostly because when I began planning this, his name hadn’t been revealed). I may still include his name by writing in a name-change but we’ll see lmao — I do not have vitiligo and do not personally know anyone with vitiligo; Janus’ experience with the condition is based entirely on my research. That being said, I did my best to give an accurate representation but I do not claim that it is flawless in anyway. If there are any improvements you think I can make in this area, please please let me know 🖤🖤🖤 Love you all 🖤✨

Ao3   Fic Masterpost    Fic Request Info

James’ first shift started normally. That is, as normally as he could assume 24 hour convenience store shifts could be. It’s not like he had much experience with it.

Being his first day, he had assumed that the manager would’ve at least stuck around for a while. Instead, the woman had pointed out the bathroom plunger— advising him to not let anyone steal it— told him how to use the slushie machine, and said that if someone tried to rob the store, let them take the money; she even showed him the quickest way to open the cash register. Then she left within the first hour of James’ shift.

James didn’t mind being alone but he couldn’t fight down the frustration at his manager for abandoning him without actually telling him anything useful. He kept worrying that someone would ask a question that he couldn’t answer. What if the customer got angry and then he got reported and lost his job on the first night? Not to mention every time someone walked in, he was ready to bargain for his life with the $225.67 and a random condom in the cash register.

The adrenaline was getting to his head, stirring up usually dormant worries. He couldn’t stop glancing down at his hands. They were warm tan, patterned at random with lighter splotches. He had a condition known as vitiligo which made areas of his skin lose their pigmentation. For the majority of the time, it wasn’t a big deal; the worst part was the weird looks people gave him and even then, he could usually brush them off. Still, there was always the occasional idiot who felt the need to say something rude or inform him that he showed signs of demon possession. He hoped beyond everything that one of those incidents didn’t occur while he was alone in the store.

Thankfully, the only customers for the next few hours were a couple groups of teenagers at varying levels of intoxication and a traveling family made up of two parents suffering from highway-hypnosis and a small child who tried to climb into one of the drink refrigerators.

By one in the morning, the flow of incoming patrons had completely stopped. By that point James had already thrown back an entire 5-hour Energy drink and reorganized the chip rack— twice .

When the entry bell finally rang again at around two, James’ head was buzzing so badly he wasn’t sure if he had imagined the sound or not. A young man walked in— college aged with messy hair and glasses. He disappeared into the rows of brightly coloured plastic bags without a word and so quickly it made James once again question whether or not he was hallucinating.

It wasn’t until the man had made his way back to the counter, setting down a bag of chips and a couple energy drinks, that James was sure he existed. The man’s hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in two days and his dark circles were so deep they could be seen from beneath his squared glasses. Yup, definitely a college student.  

Despite the obvious signs of exhaustion, the man was undeniably pretty. Counter to his tired scowl, his eyes were bright and alert, framing a sharp nose. The way he kept his strong chin tilted slightly upwards and walked with purpose gave him the appearance of someone who actually knew what he was doing with his life— so basically, the opposite of James.

James was hardly ever self conscious about his appearance but this man— this stupidly pretty, oddly perfect man— made James squirm just a little bit, made him wonder if he was living on one side of some scale while the customer lounged on the other side. James tried to shrugged it off, focusing on the items in front of him instead.

The man spent the entire interaction at the counter muttering to himself and never once making eye contact. It was a little strange, but he was cute and James was bored so he decided to just appreciate the entertainment while it lasted.

It wasn’t until James went to hand the man his receipt that he seemed to even become aware of James’ existence. James held out the thin slip of paper, apparently causing the man to flinch backwards. His reaction was strong enough to make James wonder if he was one of those people— the type that thought vitiligo was some sort of deadly, contagious disease.

His eyes darted up quickly, his gaze sharp as it scanned over James’ face, “You’re not the normal cashier.”

He was taken aback by the accusing tone in the man’s voice, “No, I guess I’m not? I just got hired; the other guy got let off… something about trying to steal the plunger.”

“Oh,” His face transformed into a noncommittal scowl that James simply could not read, “Expect me regularly.”

The man turned on his heels and walked briskly to the door as James stood frozen and mystified behind the counter, “Oh, uh… see you soon then.”

——————

James woke up to the smell of something burning. He didn’t even remember dragging himself home and collapsing in his bed but based on the smell bothering him he evidently had made it back. No one could burn food quite like his roommate.

“Remus what the fuck are you doing?” James shuffled out to the kitchen where his roommate was poking at something on the stove.

“Making lunch.”

Based on his bed head and near-complete lack of clothes (Remus always slept in booty shorts and nothing else) James could guess that he had woken up only a few minutes earlier himself, “Dude that does not smell like anything humans should eat.”

Remus gave him a wicked grin and James decided not to push the subject. He walked out of the room with a sigh and hoped that the smell would clear up soon.

He made his way into the living room, sitting down and flipping open his laptop. James groaned at the lack of new email notifications. No new emails meant no new job acceptions.

“Guess I’m working the night shift again.”

James was grateful he got the job at the convenience store— no question. Getting a job as a college dropout was both necessary and nearly impossible at the same time. He was lucky to get a job at all and being a graveyard shift, he got paid nearly double the normal wage for his position. For now, his sleep schedule would just have to suffer.

——————

The weeks drifted by and James fell into a dull, but easy rhythm. He would go to work every night, spend the hours rearranging chip bags, guarding the plunger, and— if he was lucky— the pretty college boy would come in for a few minutes to grab salty food and a caffeinated drink.

James wasn’t sure when it became “lucky” for the man to come into the store. Maybe it was lucky because he was entertaining, always preoccupied and wandering around the store like his mind was a hundred miles away. He had this odd sort of duality— somehow both spaced out and intensely focused at the same time. It was like he was concentrating on the dimension beyond the one James was living in. He floated through this world, always preoccupied with world in his head. It was endearing and intriguing and James found himself looking forward to seeing the man. James wanted to see the world inside his head, to know what was so captivating that he had no use or interest for what was outside of it.  

The student was quickly becoming his favourite customer— something James never thought he would have— and he genuinely enjoyed having a chance to talk to the other guy. He was handsome, obviously intelligent, and, if given the chance, James definitely would’ve asked him out for a drink.

As it was though, James looked awful in his uniform so he would never have the confidence to make a move the only times he ever saw him.

James started to watch for him. The man came at least once a week, always between midnight and four in the morning. He must have lived nearby because he always walked over instead of taking a car like most of the other patrons. Either that, or he lived further away and walked all the way just for a bag of chips and an energy drink.

It was a Thursday like any other when he walked into the store and James’ curiosity got the better of him.

“So,” James leaned across the counter as the man sat his items down, “you come around here often?”

He tilted his head quizzically, “Yes? I do come here often? You’ve seen me.”

“No I— it was a joke,” James resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. This was… not going the way James would have hoped, “What’s your name? We might as well get on first name basis since we see each other all the time.”

“I’m Logan,” Logan seemed surprised by the question.

“I’m James.”

Logan gave a curt nod, “I know.”

“But— how? I—“

“It’s on your name tag,” And with that, Logan turned and marched out of the store.

——————

Logan laid on his back, arms and legs spread over the entirety of his bed. The only leftover space of the bed was occupied by Patton, one of his housemates.

“So how did the all-nighter go?”

Logan groaned, “Well… it sure as hell did go all night. I’m so fucking tired.”

“This is what you get for viewing the entire American university system as a challenge.”

He squinted up at Patton. With his blond hair and round, smiling face he looked like the direct inversion of whatever pale little zombie Logan currently felt like, “I gotta stop staying up so late.”

“I don’t know, you kind of seem to like it,” His housemate patted his leg and stood up to walk out of Logan’s room, “By the way, where do you keep going? I hear you leaving the house, like, super early all the time.”

Sunlight was streaming through his partially open blinds. It was probably quite pretty but to Logan it just looked like a headache-inducing glare. He threw a pillow over his face, muffling his voice as he answered, “Booty call.”

Patton laughed as he stopped walking, “Yeah right. The day you answer a booty call is the day I will shave my head.”

Logan shifted the pillow slightly to look at Patton again. The man’s hair was his prize possession, like a curly fluffy cloud that he kept as a pet on top of his head. Logan didn’t know how Patton could afford the time and money he put into his hair. What he did know, however, was that Patton would never risk its safety. Logan frowned in (mostly) fake insult, “You really think there’s not a single person who would send me a horny text at three in the morning?”

“Nah I think there are quite a few people who would do that. I just doubt there’s anyone you’d actually find worth answering.”

Was there anyone he would actually answer? Logan stared up at the dark fabric above him. The pillowcase was a deep navy blue and if he really squinted, he could see the weave of the thread, a thousand random threads coming together to make a greater whole. The way the individual pieces created something far larger than themselves was fascinating to Logan. He had never given it much before, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever find a random individual worth making something together.

In the darkness covering his eyes, a vision of the convenience store cashier flashed across his mind. The face he saw was light brown and across that warm canvas, lighter portions sprawled. For the first time, Logan began really thinking about that face. He had sharp features, tired eyes, and when he smiled with lips sloped upwards at a lopsided angle. His skin reminded Logan of the glossy photos of nebulae in his astronomy textbooks— bright splashes breaking up the sameness of the night sky. How had he never noticed that before? What was his name? James.

He heard the creak of their old floors beneath Patton as he walked out of Logan’s room. He probably thought Logan had fallen asleep as he lay there in silence. He was far from asleep, though. His mind was racing, trying to find the missed connections and continually finding new ones in the process. His eyes flickered as previously unrecognized thoughts began surfacing. And they didn’t stop. How had he never noticed?

“I’ve been going to that convenience store down the street,” Logan called as Patton walked away.

James.

Maybe there was someone for him.

If you want to be added to my Sanders Sides fic taglist just send me an ask or reply to this post :) 

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[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

AIGHT Y’ALL I wasn’t tagged but I’m doing this anyways because f u c k  i t

It's the year 2021 and you're obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling?

Deadasss weird as fuck, my dude. Like...out of all the things I could’ve predicted happening in our lord’s year 2021, it definitely was NOT getting hyperfixated on a hammy gay ship with a punk and a nerd from a goddamn karate soap opera. And yet...here we are??? I will never understand hyperfixations, my guy. But I’ve met a lot of really cool people in this fandom, so I can’t really complain.

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series?

I have never seen a single Karate Kid movie in my entire life. When I was a kid, it looked kinda dumb so I never got into it XD But then I saw my roommate watching Cobra Kai on Youtube Red one day (he has every streaming service known to man) and I was hooked. And...here I am!

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character:  

Literally EVERYONE except for Kreese, Yasmine, Kyler, and Tory, sorry stans

Okay but if we gotta pick, Johnny Lawrence is my Problematic Fave. Also I love my boy Daniel, he’s trying his best!!! And Amanda LaRusso, we stan a queen!!!

Among the kids, definitely Miguel, with Demetri as a close second. I also love Sam, Aisha, Moon, and Hawk (pre- and post-Bastardization Arc, anyways XD)!

Favorite ship:  

Take a look at my username and take a WILD FUCKING GUESS lmao Yes it’s Eli/Demetri because DUH, every interaction they have is so fucking gay and Eli fucking saved him!!! And came back to him!!! And betrayed the world’s most terrifying dojo with a WAR CRIMINAL SENSEI all for Demetri!!! And how Demetri was willing to forgive him for everything at the drop of a hat because he always had faith there was still good in his best friend??? That’s TRUE LOVE motherfuckers. Please let them kiss in Season 4. I will sell you all of my limbs. Sam/Miguel is a close second because they’re cute as shit and it’s just so lovely to see two people so unapologetically smitten with each other. They are in LOVE, and I will RIOT if they break up again!!! Keep Sam and Miguel together 2k21!!!

Underrated character:

SAMANTHA LARUSSO!!! The amount of hate my girl gets for acting like a normal teenager and fucking up occasionally JUST like the rest of the cast makes me want to start punching things. She cares SO MUCH about her friends!!! And she loves the shit out of Miguel!!! She hasn’t always been the best friend but you know what??? Neither has Hawk, and we still forgave his ass!!! Also LET HER BE FEMININE but also kick utter ass, my god!!! Femininity should not be synonymous with being weak, y’all! ALSO DEMETRI, like yes, he likes to complain and occasionally run his mouth, but guess what else he likes to do??? Never give up on the love of his life his best friend Eli Moskowitz and refuse to lose faith in him no matter how much of a little shit he’s become, and I for one think that’s very badass of him. Also the way he takes care of Eli pre-Cobra Kai in his own snarky bastard way makes me absolutely Weak and needs more appreciation. Like the dude has charisma and COULD have probably made other friends and left Eli behind if he wanted, but did he??? No, he wants the weepy loser with the lip scar in the polo shirts and dorky sweaters and will protect him as much as his wimpy ass is able!!!

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol):  

Among the adults, Daniel/Amanda!!! Like maybe I just don’t watch that much tv, but it seems kinda rare to me to see a happily married hetero couple, and it’s just nice to see a married couple who genuinely love each other and where there’s not like...lingering resentment or some shit. I feel like this ship gets overshadowed by Lawrusso a lot (which like--okay, fair!!! Daniel and Johnny do have a ridiculous amount of chemistry, and the gay undertones are undeniable, so I get it), and it makes me kinda sad. I do love Lawrusso, but I don’t like when Amanda has to get her heart broke for it to happen, you feel? Among the kids, honestly YasMoon. Like I really love the idea of Yasmine trying to better herself because of Moon’s influence on her and because Moon like...inspires her to be a better person, I guess? With their pretty strong friendship, it just makes more sense to me for Yasmine to get a redemption arc through Moon than through Demetri. ALSO girls DO often pull the whole “mean girl” shtick to cover up being closeted lesbians, and Moon IS canonically bi, so it could work!!! I just think this one could be a really interesting Friends to Lovers take, and could make a really nice coming-out arc for Yas. And MoonPiper too, honestly!!! Like they only got 5 seconds of screentime so I understand WHY it’s underrated, but I still love what we DID get and loved that there was a canon gay ship (even if only for 1 scene lmao). I’m really excited to potentially see more of them in Season 4!!! Please, I’m begging!!!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?

Sweep the Leg because it will always be deeply hilarious to me how Demetri took note of the first move Eli ever used on him and spent presumably weeks perfecting it OUT OF SPITE just to get him back with it at the soccer game MONTHS later. Just goes to show how OBSESSED Demetri is with Eli and their little karate rivalry which is just NOT straight, I’m sorry

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?

There’s something so funny about this pretentious little fuck walking around in fancy suits once he becomes a #SuccessfulBusinessman, and still occasionally trying to do karate in a full-ass suit (take THAT, Tom Cole’s boba!!!) I’m also a big fan of how he looks in his gi with his little headband. Still killing that look as a 40-50-something!!!

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:

Tbh I have still never seen a single Karate Kid movie (they took them off of Netflix, RIP), so...I don’t really care if they bring anyone else back??? I’m invested in the characters we already have in the show, I don’t need some rando from the movies to make a cameo to have a good time XD The only character I really wanted them to bring back was Ali, and they already did, so like...I’m good??? That’s all I really needed, I can die in peace now XD

Scene that lives in your head rent-free:

Basically any fluffy Elimetri scene, but 5 in particular: ~Miguel first meeting Eli and Demetri at the lunch table, and Eli looking at Demetri like he hung every goddamn star in the sky ~Demetri going off at a terrifying, “unhinged” karate sensei on the first day of Cobra Kai because he made fun of Eli’s lip and Demetri is not about that shit ~ELI STEALING DEMETRI’S NACHO AND SMIRKING AT HIM, LIKE EXCUSE ME SIR PLEASE BE A LITTLE LESS HOMOSEXUAL IN FRONT OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND ~Eli yanking Demetri onstage during Valley Fest to hold a board, and Demetri being visibly like...extremely turned on when Eli breaks said board ~ELI SAVING DEMETRI DURING THE CHRISTMAS FIGHT, ELI APOLOGIZING, DEMETRI AND ELI KICKING COBRA ASS TOGETHER AKSBDCUWYVCBU

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?

I hope not! He’s kind of a funny meme character to pop up now and again but I don’t think he deserves a serious plotline when there are so many more interesting characters to follow.

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join?

Miyagi-Do because Cobra Kai would eat me alive. Also I’d probably straight up get stuck and die in that cement mixer, if I even made it that far XD Besides, being salty that your friend who you have a crush on likes martial arts better than you and starting martial arts to impress them but also being too lazy to join anything TOO intense is a Big Mood and I am certainly not speaking from personal experience here, no sirree

What’s your training montage song?

"Shut Up and Drive” by Rihanna for a weight-training and bicep-flexing montage, “Whatever It Takes” by Imagine Dragons for a more intense punching-and-kicking-shit montage. I don’t know why this is, I just feel it in my heart.

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special?

*Briefly panics because I don’t actually watch that much TV and most of the stuff I do watch is fantasy/sci fi shit that absolutely would not work for a CK crossover*

Hmmmm okay but ACTUALLY

You know what would be fucking funny as hell would be an It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia crossover. Allow me to elaborate: ~The Gang goes to LA on vacation during the height of the Karate Dojo Wars. They literally can get barely anything done without all these goddamn karate-fighting teenagers getting in the way. ~They are all very annoyed by this. Even the most obscure of tourist attractions is eventually intercepted by karate fights. ~Mac tries to join Cobra Kai because he sees all this karate fighting on, and wants to unquestionably prove both his badassery and masculinity. Both Johnny and Kreese are like “Wtf are you doing here? Aren’t you like 30?” ~Mac gets a planet-sized crush on Johnny after all of 5 minutes and endlessly gushes to the gang about him. The gang mercilessly roast him about this and about how much of a pathetic loser with his life together in no way whatsoever Johnny sounds like. They proceed to have exactly 0 self awareness about this. ~The Waitress is in town visiting family or something, and Charlie is stalking her, as per usual. However, every time he’s about to go up and talk to her, a pack of battling Miyagi-Dos and Cobra Kais throwing punches and kicks everywhere blocks his path. One times, Mac is among one of these packs and Charlie is like “???? He didn’t get kicked out of that teen karate dojo yet???” ~Seeing how much the Kids These Days seem to like fighting, Charlie drops by a local high school to try and sell Fight Milk to the kids doing karate. Only Kyler and Brucks buy into it, and subsequently get the entire West Valley High wrestling team sick. Charlie is inevitably arrested, as Counselor Blatt thinks he’s selling the kids drugs. ~Dennis makes a plan to have sex with every hot chick he can in Los Angeles. He meets Ali on a dating app post-divorce, and inevitably tries to bang her. It doesn’t work. ~Frank crashes the rental car, and inevitably the gang ends up at one of Daniel’s dealerships. Dee quickly takes a liking to Daniel and is like “Watch, assholes--Imma homewreck this guy’s marriage.” She starts frequenting the dealerships to attempt to flirt with Daniel, until one day she walks in on him having sex with Johnny in a back room and she’s like “Is that the guy from Mac’s goddamn dojo?!?!” ~Dennis, of course, tries to sleep with Amanda. Amanda is not having it, and rebukes him in the most snarky, Amanda-esque way possible. Dennis is just like “Oh not AGAIN--the women in this goddamn diva city have too high of standards!” ~Later on, the gang is at the beach and Dennis spots the blonde lady he went out on an ill-fate date with, and decides to give it another shot--that is, until he sees her go up and kiss another woman and he’s like “IS THAT THE LADY FROM THE CAR DEALERSHIP??? STUPID-KARATE-KICK-COMMERCIAL’S WIFE?!? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” ~Dee complains to Dennis about her lack of luck getting laid, and Dennis is just like “Oh come ON, is everyone in Los Angeles gay???” Smash cut to Hawk and Demetri having sex, Moon and Piper making out, Bert and Nate holding hands, Chris and Mitch doing oral, and Amanda, Ali, and Carmen having a threesome. ~Frank tries to scam Kreese into buying cheaply-made karate equipment for his dojo. The gang ends up having to leave LA because Kreese is quite literally plotting all of their murders.

For tagging, uuuuhhhhhh @jackonthelongwalk @soe-leo @max-eagle-fang @cc-tinslebee @backawayfromthegay @asphodel-storm do the thing, if y’all haven’t yet!

[aboysbestfriendishismum]

Chapter 58 - The deal, the name and the prince (Part Two)

In the previous chapter: Angie has a weird nightmare about her future, where she becomes the author of fantasy-themed chick-flick novels, and she’s awakened by a phone call by Eddie. He reminds her it’s finally Friday, that is the day they’ll finally tell their friends about their relationship. Ater disappearing for some time, to think about what Grace had told him, Stone shows up at her workplace to and they talk things out. Angie and Eddie kiss in he streets outside her condo and they believe Jeff, Mike and Dave, who were in the van waiting for them to go to the Ok Hotel for their show, saw them and now are surely talking about them. Once they get to the van though, they find out they’re discussing the latest episode of Twin Peaks.

***

Pink. They're turning pink. My purple highlights are slowly but inevitably waning into sad off-brand bubble-gum pink, whereas the blue dye is fading out completely to my old boring dark brown. I'm here, squatting over the toilet, examining the locks of hair falling in front of my face, lightedy by the buzzing light of the Ok Hotel's restroom. I flush the toilet and pull up my pants and then I can hear the sound of the club's music going up and down straight away, followed by chattering and laughing sounds of female voices. Somebody else got in so I'll just stay here some more. I don't know why but I don't like meeting other people when I get out of the bathroom, it makes me nervous. I have nothing against going to the bathroom in three, five, ten girls all together, but if I have to pee, I'm the one who always goes last and tells the others to go first and that she'll meet them later outside. I can't use this system with strangers, especially in public toilet rooms in clubs with never ending queues outside the door. What do I do then? Either I hold my pee or I give up, trying to avoid eye contact with the girl getting in after me, who surely doesn't give a damn about me and just wants to fuckin' pee. This time though, it's early, the show has yet to start and the restroom was empty, at least until these people got in. Who knows how many are they? From the voices they seem three, I won't have to wait for that long. I just hope none of them will start wondering why the door of my stall is locked.

“Have you already heard these Pearl Jam guys play?” my ears don't miss the question asked by one of them since I'm focusing on their conversation, until now only to understand when they'd leave, but now even more interested.

“Not yet, but Emma did, right?” another voice, a little higher-pitched than the previous one, replies.

“Yeah, and the singer is so fuckin' hot!” the third voice has a vague Boston accent, I can't decide if it's a real accent the girl's trying to hide or a fake one she's putting up on purpose, I don't know why. And the accent is the first thing that catches my attention, more than what she actually says.

“Well, you don't need to hear him sing to say that, you just need eyes to look” the first voice chuckles.

“Yeah, he looks fine if you just see him around but on a stage? He's much sexier. You'll see and you'll agree with me”

“He's not bad but I'm more oriented towards the bass player” voice number two chimes in again but her friends immediately drown it out.

“We know, we know!”

“You've been oriented like that since Green River, maybe it's time to change your orientation since you've been getting no chance in hell, what do you think?”

“He'll be single once again sooner or later, won't he? He won't marry Miss Perfection, I mean...” the harmless, and after all kind of flattering, nickname these chicks just gave my friend bothers me a little, unlike their appreciation of Eddie. Actually I'm almost... pleased? By what they say? Yes, pleased. Am I normal or what?

“Aim for the accessible single ones in the band, trust me” Emma-maybe-Boston tries to discourage her friend from her crush on Jeff.

“That is the guitar player only”

“Who? Stone? Hasn't he recovered from his fucked up relationship with Psycho Valerie yet? Or you mean the other one?”

“The other one. Stone has a girlfriend, he must have found a new trust in women”

“Or he's just keeping this girl at a safe distance from his guitars hehehe”

Ok who's Valerie? I must remember to ask Meg.

“So the only ones left are the lead guitar and the singer. You're taking the guitar player”

“The singer isn't single”

“Isn't he?” “Really?” the other two ask at the same time.

“No, he has a girlfriend back home waiting for him or who's about to come and move out here with him, it depends on how it goes with the band”

“Where is he from?”

“California, don't know where exactly”

“Los Angeles”

“Shut up. Do you believe someone who wants to make music for a living would leave LA, which is like the center of the world where everything happens, and come to fuckin' Seattle? I've heard he's from near San Francisco”

“NO, SAN DIEGO” in the heat of the moment I almost can't understand who the fourth voice belongs to, then here comes the realization: it's me, coming out of the stall, basically screaming.

“And you... how do you know? Who are you?” now that I look at the trio I see they're nothing like I imagined. Voice number one, who's sort of the gang leader to me, is as tall as me, skinny and all eyes, big beautiful green eyes, dark hair pulled up in a tight high ponytail, giant loop earrings. Boston girl looks like she just came out from an episode of Baywatch, blonde, blue eyes, body of a model squeezed in a black mini-dress. Jeff's fan with the high pitched voice is the tallest one, a swimmer's body with broad shoulders highlighted by a strapless tube top, dark eyes, hook nose that gives and exotic and charming air.

“I know because I know him” I shrug as I bend over the sink to wash my hands, focusing my whole attention on the fuckin' pink strands in my hair in the mirror.

“Wait... yeah, I think I saw you with Stone and Jeff's friend, the blond chick who works at Roxy's... how is she called?”

“Meg, she's my roommate” I answer to the boss looking at her through the mirror.

“Do you know Jeff? Does he still have a girlfriend?”

“Hehe yes, I'm sorry”

“See, I told you!”

“I'll fall back on the singer then, his girlfriend is in San Diego, it's an out-of-sight-out-of-mind situation, she'll never know”

“He's not with that girl anymore, they broke up when he moved here” I stop here before adding any more intimate and unrequested details, although I have a senseless and sudden will to give them all out to these girls.

“SEE? HE'S SINGLE THEN!”

“I knew that”

“Actually... he's dating another girl, a girl here in Seattle” and that would be me and it's like I'm desperate to tell them, but why? What's happening to me? Am I becoming jealous? I told Eddie his jealousy towards Jerry made no sense but at least that had some factual basis. After all Jerry's my ex, he came over looking for me and we spent some time alone in a small enclosed space. These are just some random girls who've only said Eddie's cute. Thanks a lot. He is. It's only natural they like him. Why am I talking then?

“And who's she?”

“Well, dating someone is not like putting a ring on their finger”

“What's his name anyway?”

“Yeah, right, what's his name?”

“Eddie”

“And what's Eddie like? I mean, as a guy, is he nice?”

“He's...” he's sweet, sexy, funny, shy, crazy, romantic, goofy, protective, quiet, clumsy, smart, passionate, practical, loyal, honest, reliable and other 800 adjectives more, which come to my mind and I keep to myself”... he's ok, he doesn't talk much, but he's cool”

“A hot guy who doesn't speak much: the perfect man” the blond girl states and all three of them laugh.

In the meantime I keep on washing my hands and if I go on like this I'll get webbed fingers soon. I turn off the tap and shake the water off my hands in the sink before heading up to the dryer hanging on the wall next to the door, feeling three pairs of eyes on me.

“Can you introduce us to him?” the beanpole asks me when I already have one hand on the door handle and I'm about to leave.

“Sure!” I smile at them and I'm still trying to decipher my behaviour when I get out of the bathroom, followed by the gang of three, and who do I find standing right there, one hand in his pocket and the other one holding a full glass?

“Hey, there you are finally! I was getting worried. Was there a queue?” he asks, noticing I'm not the only one coming out of the restroom. I walk up to him, my hands are still kind of wet so I rub them on the legs of my jeans, I'm conscious I have the trio's eyes still on me and then I do something honestly uncomprehensible: I throw my arms around Eddie's neck and kiss him like I had last kissed him last month and not twenty minutes ago, backstage, trying to get some kind of reaction out of Stone and Dave, who right at that moment were not looking at us though. What's wrong with me? Have I become a showoff?

“I was chatting with the girls” I back up from his lips, steal the beer from his hands and take a sip, then I turn around to face the trio of dropped jaws behind my back.

“He doesn't talk much but makes himself clear” the leader is the one who breaks the ice and makes her friends, and me I must admit, giggle.

“Very clear, I see” the tall girl adds.

“Haha come on, let's go. Bye Eddie, good luck with the show!” Boston vamp takes the other two by the hands and they all say bye and leave.

“Bye Eddie!”

“God, we made fuckin' fools of ourselves”

“Why? We said nothing bad after all”

“It was embarrassing though...”

I follow their conversation as long as I can and when the girls are out of my radar, I turn back around and find Eddie's perplexed eyes staring at me.

“Do you know them?”

“More or less. Come on, let's go, you're up next soon”

Eddie and I part ways after a kiss right in front of the stage, after we noticed Meg coming our way. Anyway when we end the kiss we see she's more focused on cursing against a guy, who's guilty of bumping into her and almost spilling his drink on her new t-shirt, rather than looking at us and noticing our public display of affection. Eddie shrugs, nods at Meg and goes backstage to get ready for the concert.

“You can stop pretending you know nothing about Eddie and I now”

“Really? Ok but that jerk really wasn't even looking where he was going!” she searches for the stranger in the crowd but he's already gone and disappeared.

“Yeah, we decided to tell everybody. I mean, to let people know. Stop hiding, you know”

“Uh! So is that why you're randomly making out all around the club?”

“Shut up!”

“Right, maybe you didn't stick your tongue into his throat right under the mixer station. And not even in front of the restrooms”

“Hahaha stop it! Anyway, ehm, it actually happened in front of the restrooms, also”

“HA!”

“Talking about that... I need counselling... with Dr Meg”

“Uhm”

“You know I don't like to take advantage of your psychology studies”

“Very poor studies”

“And of your great and not academic only enthusiasm for the subject but... I'm weird and I need you to tell me why I'm weird”

“Ok so, first of all thank you for your surely mistaken trust in me, because it must be huge if you think what I know is enough to solve the Angelina Pacifico's enigma”

“I'm being serious”

“And I'm also flattered, 'cause usually it's me intruding your private life trying to analyze you and make you reason BUT this time it's you asking me spontaneously. I feel tears coming out of my eyes”

“I acted strange earlier and I can't say why”

“Ok, shoot”

I ignore her sarcasm, even though I appreciate it, and tell her everything about the three girls I met at the bathroom, while she listens to me in unnatural silence. Unnatural both for her, 'cause honestly I don't think I've ever heard her keeping her mouth shut for so long, and for the place, a crowded bar full of people, voices and sounds, I mean, pure chaos.

“So? What's wrong with me? Am I jealous like Eddie? Is jealousy contagious? Or have I just become a bitch?”

“Is Eddie jealous?”

“Yep. Well, yeah, a little” I don't wanna talk about this right now, maybe next time.

“Healthy amount of jealousy”

“Healthy... I mean, what's healthy? Jealousy is not healthy, it's stupid. And it looks I'm getting stupid too”

“I don't completely agree with you about that. Anyway your scene has got nothing to do with jealousy, my dear”

“No?”

“OH no, that's not jealousy, I'll tell you what it is. It's three things”

“Three?”

“Number one: you're pedantic”

“Romantic?” I can't hear shit in the noisy crowd with the loud music on.

“I said PEDANTIC! You're pedantic, you can't help it. If someone says a wrong thing you gotta correct them, nothing can hold you back, not even your pathological shyness. Had it been a matter of jealousy, you'd have jumped out immediately, insulting them and telling those three to keep their hands off your man. Instead you just stayed there, locked inside that stinky stall listening to those girls drooling after your boyfriend until they've started churning out incorrect facts. That's when you lost it, you had to speak up and give them the truth”

“So I put myself at the center of the attention only to lecture them?”

“Not just that but also for that. In this you and Stone are the fuckin' same, let me tell you. You're scarily the same”

“Shut up, you give me the creeps!”

“Number two: you're seeking approval”

“Approval?”

“Everybody wants to be liked, but someone wants it more than others, especially those with a wobbly self-esteem”

“What's self-esteem?”

“If you were jealous, you'd describe those three like sluts or ugly monsters of both, but you didn't. It almost seems like you liked them”

“Because I did, I liked them”

“Exactly. Three nice funny girls who shared a common interest with you, without knowing. You told them you knew Eddie because deep inside you wanted them to accept you and approve you”

“Oh”

“Number three... well, number three is my favourite”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. Because, Angie, my friend, I'm glad to tell you that at the venerable age of 18”

“And a half”

“Eighteen and a half...” she corrects herself rolling her eyes “... after all this time, you finally learned one of the main concept of life, as well as one of the most pleasurable feelings”

“That is?”

“Hahahaha showing off, of course”

“Showing off? I've never shown off anything in my whole life!” maybe just a couple of seconds, that infamous unlucky night, with the waitress of Canlis restaurant, waiting for Jerry. And see what happened next.

“That's why I said it took you a few years to get cocky...”

“Getting cocky for what then?”

“Because Eddie's your boyfriend!”

“And what's with me? It's not like I did anything, it's not a merit, it's not something one merits and shows off like a medal!”

“That's what yo say but your subconscious thinks differently. Think about it, you found approval from your new friends and when you saw Eddie you could have just introduce them to him briefly and just leave with him, but you didn't. You aimed right at Vedder and kissed him right in front of them, knowing exactly you'd have made their jaw drop. And don't even try to tell me it just came out like that and you didn't think for a second about their reaction because I won't fuckin' believe you”

“Well, actually, ok, yeah, I thought of it, a little...”

“You're with the guy they all liked, that's the ultimate approval, almost a consacration”

“I show off for no valid reason, what have I become”

“Don't overreact now, please!”

“I'm a horrible person!”

“Angie-drama starting in 3, 2, 1...” Meg counts down with her fingers inches from ny nose.

“Can't you understand? It means I treated Eddie like an object, like a bargaining chip”

“You're with a cute guy and you rubbed it in those girls' faces a little, it's not like anyone died or something!”

“A trophy to nurture my self-confidence”

“You're making it worse and bigger than it actually is. That is, as you always do”

“A decent guy gives a fuck about me and my head gets big all of a sudden?”

“A decent guy gives a fuck about you, you're a couple and you don't have to hide for any reason. When was the last time it happened to you?”

“Err... quite some time?” a normal relationship? I'd say it's been years. Anyway, have I ever had a normal relationship at all?

“You're with the singer of a fucking cool band everybody's talking about in town, I'd scream it at the face of everyone I meet. Listen to me: aren't you proud of Eddie and what he's doing with the band?”

“Yeah”

“So you're proud and your showing, like you showed those three”

“Sucking face with Eddie right in front of them?”

“Exactly. By the way, considering you're sucking face with him in every corner of this place, they'd have seen you anyway sooner or later”

“Not necessarily, especially if they're as watchful as our friends, who haven't noticed yet”

“Or maybe they noticed but just want to be discreet”

“Discretion? Stone?”

“Well, thinking about it...”

“Talking about Stone; who's Valerie?”

“OH MY GOD, VALERIE?? WHERE IS SHE?!”

***************************************************************************************************************************************************

“It's so weird to me that everybody hates the Kingdome. I mean, that's your stadium!” since I came here in Seattle I've never met a single sports fan who hasn't complained about the stadium or easily dismissed it as a simple location that's not so much loved by the citizens. Jerry is no exception, as we talk at the bar waiting for our drinks.

“It's not like we hate it, it's just it could be better, you know? Surely it doesn't suck as much for footbal as for baseball. Or maybe it's just a matter of different point of views: if the Mariners didn't play like shit, it would be the place of the heart, like Wrigley Field for Chicago hehe”

“Sacrilege! I've never been there yet, I gotta go and see” I playfully push him away and grab the glass the barman has just given to me. Cantrell does the same and says thanks with a nod since I buyed him the drink and keeps on talking.

“I walked into the field, actually I ran on it! Six years ago, no, seven, when the Seahawks beat Raiders 13 to 7 at the Wild Card Game and the supporters stormed the field at the end. The following week we'd fuck it all up and Miami would destroy us but in that moment we believed we could make it! Anyway the people is what makes the Kingdome good”

“The twelfth man, right?” I nod and as I look around I casually make eye contact with Angie, who's not so far.

“Yep, other than that and the adrenaline, the field itelf sucks, it seemed to walk on concrete covered with green carpet”

“Wrigley though, I'd sleep on that field...” I look the same direction as before but I can't see my girlfriend anymore “On the bleachers too”

“At the Kingdome you can sleep well too, the roof protects you when it rains. Some parts of it might break and fall onto your head but how bad can it be?” Jerry chuckles and sips his whiskey but he almost chokes on it, and I do too, when someone casually appears between us from out of nowhere and basically yells into our ears.

“HI GUYS! ARE YOU HAVING FUN??”

“Jesus! Hey Angie, uhm yeah, sure” Jerry gives her a perplexed look whereas I instinctively put my arm around her shoulders.

“WHY?”

“What do you mean why?”

“I mean, uhm, you know, what for? What are you talking about?”

“Baseball” I answer probably with star-shaped eyes, just like every time I think about my favourite sport.

“And football” Cantrell adds then drinks up his whiskey with one last sip.

“Sports uh? A typical conversation between male friends...”

“Not necessarily betwe-” I'm about to argue with the idea sport is an exclusively male interest when my colleague interrupts me.

“Now I think I gotta go and find Sean. I saw Layne with Demri before so I think they made up and he'll go to her place so I probably have to go home with my drummer. See ya!”

“See you!” I say bye as he leaves with his hands in his pockets and Angie does the same but in a louder voice.

“BYE! Ok, what's going on? What's wrong?” she addresses me right away with an extremely serious expression on her face.

“What's going on? Nothing's wrong”

“What were you talking about for real?”

“What do you mean? Sports, we told you”

“Sure. And I'm Doris Sams” she folds her arms and gives me a side look.

“Are you a secret baseball player as well by any chance?” I let go of her, I fold my arms too and look at her suspiciously.

“No”

“I can't believe it! We gotta go out and throw a ball sometimes”

“I can't play! But I know the game and I know a couple of history facts, I remind you my dad is a fan of basically all the sports”

“I don't know... you're very good at pretending not to be able to do things, aren't you?”

“And you and your friend are very good at pretending nothing's happening and changing the topic of the conversation at the right time, aren't you?”

“My friend?”

“Jerry... well, friend, sort of...”

“We were really talking about the Kingdome”

“Sure. And the debate was so animated you even shoved him”

“Haha I gave him a little nudge, as a joke”

“Oh you were just kidding, of course”

“Angie, I don't know what's going on in your head and I don't know what you saw but really, we were just making small talk”

“Small talk?”

“Yes”

“You and Jerry talk?”

“Yeah. As you know, human beings are social animals, they interact with each other and-”

“Cut the crap! You know what I mean...”

“It's not like we're best friends or something but we know each other so we happen to have a chat from time to time” I shrug and on one hand I find it funny that Angie came here running, fearing for an upcoming duel between me and her ex, on the other hand I think he'd actually deserve a couple of punches after all.

“And you didn't talk about anything else?”

“No, what would we talk about?”

“I don't know, maybe you told him something about the other night...”

“Why would I?” I thought Angie would tell me to fuck off after that fuckin' scene I made but we made up the next day instead, problem solved. Why would I rock the boat?

“Well, I don't know, maybe because you threw a fit at me!” she retorts and suddenly she almost looks disappointed.

“That's different, I'm with you, not with him...”

“Ok but you almost ate me alive on the phone. And with him? Nothing? He just gets away with it like that? A chat at the bar like two old friends?”

“Sorry Angie, I don't understand. One second ago you were all alarmed because you thought I had told him something and now you're offended because I didn't. Is it that I'm limited and I just don't get it or does it make like no fuckin' sense at all?”

She opens her mouth as if she's about to answer, then she shuts up and looks around like she's looking for the right words through the crowd. In the end she admits, almost mortified: “It doesn't make fuckin' sense at all, I don't even know what I mean honestly”

“Hey, it's alright, ok? Jerry and I are on normal decent terms as two colleagues. And who gives a fuck about Jerry anyway” I take her face between my hands so she's forced to look at me as I smile to reassure her and let her know she's getting worried for nothing.

“Ok. But how do you do it? I mean, like, when you talk about me”

“Easy: we don't talk about you. Do you want something to drink?” I answer straight, turn back towards the bar to get the bartender's attention and order another round for me only, since Angie shakes her head no.

“Ok, right, but what if it happens?”

“It doesn't happen. Not even coke? Or juice?”

“No, thanks. But how can you be sure? What if my names comes up during a conversation, what do you do?”

“We don't do anything because that can't be, Angie... Windbreaker?”

“Wrong answer. Anyway the fact it hasn't happened so far doesn't mean it can't happen in the future” Angie smiles at my casual attempt at guessing her second name but doesn't let go on the topi.

“I'm 100% sure it can't happen. Jerry and I don't talk about you, we just don't”

“Never?”

“Never. We have a deal” the last bit slips out of my mouth and I regret it one second later, as soon as I see Angie's face as she registers this piece of information.

“You have... WHAT??”

“We made a non-aggression agreement that satisfies both parties” ok, I'm not 100% satisfied, and Jerry neither for sure, but it's working now.

“You made a deal with Cantrell? About me? And when?” after every questions she takes a small break that lasts a couple of seconds, in which I shake my head yes. But the third question requires a more articulated answer.

“In San Diego” kind of articulated.

“SAN DIEGO? You told Jerry about us when I left?”

“Actually, before that...”

“BEFORE??”

“And it wasn't me telling him anyway, it was the other way round” Angie doesn't look convinced or maybe she's just confused. So I tell her about the little quarrel Jerry and I had at the Yates Club, about how Jerry had figured it all out and got mad at me for not telling him.

“Wait, correct me if I'm wrong: you mean he did everything he wanted when he was with me but he had the nerve to get angry because you hadn't let him know on advance that you were interested in his ex girlfriend? The ex girlfriend he treated like shit? Why would you show him this courtesy? And how did he understand we liked each other anyway?”

“Maybe he's a good observer.” or maybe I just suck at hiding what I feel but I don't say that because she sucks as much at understanding other people's feelings and I don't wanna hurt her “Anyway he was right to some extent, we were on tour together and from time to time he asked me about you and confided in me and I could have told him or just talk about something else. Instead I just stayed there listening to him. So I was kind of an asshole too”

“He confided with you?”

“Yes”

“And what did he say about me?”

“Why do you care? Is it important? And then, well, can't you imagine?” if I got so jealous the other night is also because I know he's still into her.

“No, but I'm curious to know: 1) how he's still alive, 2) how you held back throughout the tour”

“I don't know, maybe it's just because of a certain promise I made to a certain special person about not kicking the ass of a certain ex and keeping a certain secret and not starting any trouble in general”

“Wow, you're a man of his word then”

“I'm someone you can trust”

“Will you make a deal with me too then?”

“Sure, anything you want princess”

“The deal is... we won't talk about Jerry anymore”

“Uh”

“Like never, ok?”

“Well, I mean...”

“I won't mention him to you and you won't mention him to me. It's not like we can erase him from our lives, we simply won't actively have any more conversations about him, what do you think?”

“It's not that simple...”

“Well, if you can make an agreement with him, I can't see why you can't make the same kind of deal with me, since I'm also your girlfriend” she folds her arms once again and from the look she's giving me I know I won't get out of this alive if I don't accept this fuckin' agreement. The only thing I can do is trying to get the most out of it.

“In fact I can do it. I'm in...” I hold out my hand for her to shake it “on one condition”

“What is it?” she lets go of my hand and looks suspicious, I think she really don't know where I'm getting at.

“That you finally tell me your second name” she rolls her eyes and barely hides her smile, maybe she was expecting something worse.

“Ok, agreed” she shakes my hand again and I'm all ears.

“So?”

“You know I'm giving you the most powerful weapon, right? You'll make fun of me as long as I live for this”

“I bet it's a beautiful name, I can't wait to know, I'm super psyched”

“Just like my parents when they chose my second name, like I'm pretty sure they were literally under the influence of psychedelics when they decided to call me like that”

“Call you what?”

“Angelina... Something Wind Pacifico”

“But if you're a W. it can't be-”

“The other half of the word starts with a W too”

“Whirlwind!” I say straight off and for an immediate word association the lyrics of Like a hurricane by Neil Young start running in my head and I can already picture her as the perfect main character of that masterpiece of a song.

“No, it's all together but actually it would be a separated word”

“Oh” are you sure? Because that name was pretty perfect.

“It's an adjective” she points out while, in my daydream, I leave the hazy bar and close the door behind my back.

“Windy Wind?”

“Hahaha fuck you, Eddie!”

“Ok, I'm serious now. Warm wind?” I think about the warmth of her hugs and her presence in general but she shakes her head no.

“My mother was... is a fan of Nina Simone. So?”

“Uhm...”

“Maybe I can help you a little more if I tell you Station to station by David Bowie”

I mentally run through the album's tracklist until I get to maybe one of Bowie's best vocal performances ever, right at the end of the record.

Wild is the wind

“Angelina Wildwind Pacifico”

“Guilty as charged”

“It's fucking cool!”

“Ok but... wild wind? Me? Can you picture me with a name like that?” she blushes and shakes her head and hides her face behind her hands.

“Actually it suits you perfectly”

“Sure, it suits to the most boring and average person on the planet”

“No, it suits to the strongest and most unpredictable and most breathtakingly beautiful person in the world. At least, in the part of world that I know, which by the way is the only part I care about because you're there” Angie removes her hands from her face and looks straight into my eyes without opening her mouth and for a minute there I get the illusion I managed to leave her speechless or, at least, in the condition of being forced to take a fucking compliment for once.

“Hahaha well, it really is a shitty world!” she cracks up all of a sudden and hugs me, so tight.

“How fuckin' stupid are you from 0 to 10?” I hold tighter.

“I don't know but I'd say we have a deal now, right?” she looks up and gets free from my embrace just to stretch her hand towards me and seal this agreement for good.

“Right, deal done” I shake her hand, then pull her back to me to kiss her and seal this pact my way.

***************************************************************************************************************************

Time to take a ride, time to take it in a midnight eye

And if you want to go, get on below

“Ok, where the hell are those two now? Dave and I have to unwrap our presents!” we all more or less managed to bunch up around a couple of tables at the Ok Hotel. I tap Krusen on the shoulder and he suddenly awakes. He zoned out completely when the Sonic Youth's song started. Or maybe when the whole evening started.

“I kind of saw them earlier at the bar” it's the drummer's wild guess and considering he basically spent the whole time at the bar, before and after the show, he could have seen Angie and Eddie any time. They could as well be in Mexico by now.

“They're not at the bar anymore, that's where we're coming from” McCready and Staley join us with two fresh beers in their hands, talking of people who should tone it down a little.

“Huh they must be tongue-kissing around here somewhere” Stone is sitting right in front of me, keeping one hand on Grace's shoulder and waving the other hand in the air while he speaks, as to brush it off like an unimportant thought.

“Who? Eddie and Smurfette?” Cornell Gazette from the other end of the table couldn't miss the breaking news and both Stone and Grace nod.

“They've been doing nothing else all night, they're on the edge of public indecency” Mike enriches the gossip story some more, followed by Ben and Kim, who put up a show and got us all bent in laughter.

“I've never seen anything like that”

“At some point we timed them”

“We were bored”

“Twelve minutes and a half of tongue”

“Contjnuous, uninterrupted tongue. I mean, with no breaks whatsoever”

“They looked like two fuckin' 14-year-olds”

“Well, Angie's still a teenager after all, it makes sense”

“Ok but what about Eddie? And how... just on a practical level, I mean, I don't get how they could fuckin' breathe through all that”

“They must have gills, fuck if I know”

“Hahahaha you're such assholes!” my girlfriend scolds us all but only slaps me on the nape.

“Well they're just making up for lost time and you're just jealous” Meg joins her in defending the two lovebirds.

“I get it but TWELVE MINUTES AND THIRTY SECONDS” Kim repeats punctuating every single word about the record timing.

“Jealous and peeping Toms!” Graces chimes in too.

“They were on top of the stairs, it was impossible not to see them” the guitarist shrugs and his bass player nods.

“From every view point and corner”

“Twelve minutes and a half on the stairs?” I playfully add fuel to the fire, the two musicians look at me and their arms flap out.

“Yes!”

“Then the record is that Angie didn't fall down the stairs on anybody, given her history” Chris snickers under his moustache.

“God you love that story so much!” Layne almost chokes on his beer then laughs at Cornell's face.

“Ok ok, anyway, you're shit guys, this all mess for some P.D.A.s? Just because they loosened up a bit, it doesn't mean they're living 24/7 connected at the mouth li- Oh wait, yeah, there they are, they're kissing next to the door” Meg abruptly interrupts her speech and it's kind of comic because we all turn around together at the exact same moment and among those in the back there's someone standing up, getting closer or stretching their neck to give a better look at the not-so-new couple. Even strangers passing by turn the same direction to see what the fuck we're looking at.

We don't know if it's been more than twelve minutes and a half since the beginning of their laters make out session, but those two break away from their kiss and Eddie looks right towards us. We turn the other way around and in a second we're back at talking, well, pretending to talk as if nothing happened, as if he hadn't caught us red handed. Out of the corner of my eye I see them coming over and I casually lift up my voice.

“Alright, I love Goo too, it's a hell of a record, it goes without saying. What I meant is that putting it on in a club and just playing it front to back for two or three times, letting it go, it just gives me a sense of... sloppiness? That's how you call it, right? I'm not saying you have to pay a dj or some fucking guy just to put records on and select music, but they could at least take some time to make a fuckin' mix tape or something and put that on, even on repeat, it doesn't seem so difficult to me. Oh hey guys, where have you been?” I address Stone and Dave first, who look at me weirdly, then to Andie and Eddie walking up to the table.

“Round here. Have you already opened your presents? There's mine left!” Angie rummages into her bag looking for something, then picks out a not so small package.

“Cool, a new brush set, thank you!” I cheer as I unwrap it.

“A little bird told me you needed new ones...” Angie looks up playing dumb, exactly like the bird I know very well who's standing beside her. These two fuckers belong together.

“Oh and this is mine” the little bird sticks his hands into his girl's bag and takes out another package, which turns out to be Subway art, a photobook about graffiti art I've been wanting to buy for ever.

I can say this was a lucky birthday for me, with strings, cords, tool kits, acryic paint set, a couple of gift cards for Easy Street Records, which I loved quite as much as the supermarket voucher Meg gave to me. All useful presents but I loved the (apparently) less useful ones too, like the Marshall jack rack key holder with four plug key chains: thanks to the Alice guys!

During the whole presents and wishes exchange, Eddie and Angie are sitting in a corner and basically being the special observed ones, since everybody watches them like you watch a documentary about animals during the mating season. The couple takes part to the conversation and just ignore the rest, yet they whisper something to each other from time to time.

“By the way, Angie's got something to tell you” Eddie comes out of nowhere with this, in a moment we were all silent, catching our breath after a joke by Stone, who suggested Touch me, I'm Dick as the title of the stand out song of our fake band in Cameron Crowe's movie. By the way, who knows if Chris has already wrote something for the songs of Cliff's solo demo? I gotta remember to ask him.

“What?” Meg asks first, since nobody's speaking, not even Angie, who first gave Eddie a nasty look, then turned pale as she looked at us one by one.

“Is it about the movie?” Layne asks.

“No, it's not about the movie”

“Are you quitting college?” Dave tries.

“No! Why should I?” Angie denies it firmly.

“Is it personal?” if I didn't know him, I'd say Stone is trying to put Angie at ease and help her spit it all out. But since I know him too well, I can say without a shadow of doubt he's just enjoying himself playing with the poor girl.

“Well, yeah, but... mmm... it's not just about me, you know”

“Who else then?” I inquire.

“Eddie” “Me” the two lovebirds reply at the same time.

“Oh fuck, are you pregnant?” McCready stands out as usual for his caution and sensitiveness.

“OH MY GOD, NO! WHAT THE HELL, MIKE?” Angie stands up in shock while Eddie simply laughs.

“So? What's the news?” Cornell is all ears and right now I'm picturing him armed with a pen and notepad as an old-time reporter.

“What Angie's trying to say is that-” Eddie wipes his eyes with he sleeve of his shirt and tries to give an answer but the girl is faster.

“We're together”

“...”

“Eddie and I, we're together”

“...”

“We've been for a while”

“Almost a month” he suggests to her in a low voice.

“Almost a month” she repeats and she looks into our eyes searching for something she can't find and apparently she's just concluded the best thing to do is to keep adding details or to repeat the same concept with different words until she'll find it. Or until any of us opens their mouth.

“...”

“Something more than three weeks”

“...”

“We're basically a couple”

“...”

“I mean, he's my boyfriend and I-”

“And she's my girlfriend” Eddie ended the sentence for her.

“Wow, what a coincidence!” Stone can't hold back and I hide my face between my hands not to show I'm laughing.

“What do you mean?”

“Ok. You're together... and?” Mike tries to investigate some more and if he asks her if she's pregnant once again I swear I'm gonna laugh so hard that I'll fall out of my fuckin' chair.

“And nothing, that's it” Angie replies and sits back down.

“And that'd be great news?” Kim asks keeping a straight face.

“Why? What's wrong with it? Is it because you think I'm too young for him? Look, I know, we know. We talked about it actually, I understand tha-” Angie's about to launch herself into a hornet's nest with no way out but her roommate stops her and we all finally crack up.

“Totally unmotivated Angie-drama in 3, 2, 1...”

We all, but Angie of course.

“Why are you laughing? Is ther something I don't know?”

“What you don't know is that now everybody knows that what you believed none of us knew was actually well known by everyone” Stone answers in his style and Mike's face tells me he didn't understand shit.

“Huh?” exactly.

“He means we're laughing because we already knew what the news were about” I explain and the lightbulb in his head lights up.

“Uh!”

“You saw us then, I mean, tonight? Because, well, you didn't say anything...”

“Who do you think we are? We're discreet people!” Cornell states and it almost looks like he believes it.

“We knew before tonight anyway” Ben adds without thinking.

“You knew before? How? MEG?? You told them, right??” Angie stands back up and roars against her friend.

“How could she tell if she didn't know?” Eddie asks puzzled his now official girlfriend.

“No! Right! She didn't know! But... I don't know, maybe she figured it out. DID YOU FIGURE IT OUT?”

“I figured it out” Meg confesses.

“THAT'S IT!”

“But I didn't tell anyone, I swear” she holds up her hands, Angie believes her and looks at us one by one, before aiming straight at her boyfriend.

“YOU TOLD THEM!”

“No, I can assure you I kept my mouth shut, as you asked me”

“How did you know then?”

“Stone told me” McCready's voice of innocence out of nowhere.

“Stone told me too, because I was there as well that night. And Dave too” I confess and the drummer nods.

“Stone told us too, but it was some other time, at least I think so” Chris looks at Kim and Ben who shake their heads yes.

“For obvious reasons, he told me too” Grace raises her hand and shyly admits.

“Jeff told me because Stone told him” Laura chimes in.

“Is there someone Stone didn't tell anything to?” Angie blurts out.

“Me! I figured it all out by myself! I'm a genius!” Layne raises his hand and waves it around, as happy as the winner of a tv quiz.

“And you, how did you know, genius?” Angie turns to Gossard snarling at him but he answers calmly.

“I believe I knew even before you that you'd end up together, Smurfette”

“What do you mean?”

“That you both suck at playing the oblivious lovers. You're made for each other” I translate it all in Jeff-language and everybody nods in agreement, Eddie included.

“Were we so obvious?”

“Noooo”

“Not that much”

“It's not that”

“It's just Stone's a very good observer”

“It's just Stone doesn't mind his own fuckin' business”

These are just some of the answers we give in no particular order just not to make her feel little Angie like shit.

“Come on, it was clear from the beginning they had a connection. Since the first time they met at the Off Ramp, I realized it at my own expense since I had bet on it, do you remember Mikey?” I like the fact that Stone, just like me, remembers old memories based on bets we placed.

“Right! I lost ten bucks too because I thought you wouldn't talk to each other, yet you got along immediately, it looked like you already knew each other”

“I'm gonna ignore the umpteenth bet you made over your friend's head but... actually we already knew each other somehow” Angie reveals and the alarm goes off in my head.

“WHAT? REALLY? HOW?”

“Jeff?” Stone calls me immediately as I keep on trying to disguise the truth clumsily.

“HOW DID YOU KNOW EACH OTHER? THAT'S SOME NEWS!”

“I had met him at Roxy's the previous night, he came over to eat”

“NEWS AS IN IT'S A NEW THING, A NEW FACT I'VE NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE”

“So you didn't know about it Jeff?” Stone doesn't let go and by now it's obvious I got caught, I'm fucked.

My shit show at least has one merit: the following little bickering between Stone, Mike and I about the twenty dollars, which they think I owe them back, moves the attention away from Angie. Now she's finally free from the awkwardness and can sit back and enjoy the show of our friends kicking my ass, holding hands with her new boyfriend.

[venmomejoy]

Convince Me- pt. 1

Summary: When Aelin Ashryver-Galathynius, lead singer of Bitch Queen, gets in a twitter fight with Rowan Whitethorn, drummer of The Cadre, everyone is buzzing about their hatred for each other. When their PR teams decide they need to fake a friendship to keep up a good public image, the two are vehemently against it. But slowly, a fake friendship turns into a real connection, maybe something more. 

read it on AO3 here :) and here’s the link to part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten / part eleven / part twelve / part thirteen

Most celebrities rattled on about how they hated fame, hated all the attention, but Aelin knew that was a load. Sure, there were aspects of fame that could be frustrating, but not one of them would trade their careers for a chance to go to the grocery store unnoticed.

She wouldn't, that's for sure. Aelin had worked her ass off for her career, and she wasn't ashamed to admit that she was proud of her success. Bitch Queen had started from nothing, and now they had a top-charting album with two number one singles. She reveled every time a fan stopped her in the street, every time someone asked to take a photo with her, because she had worked for every ounce of fame she had, and they had finally made it.

Aelin hadn't even planned on being in a band. She'd always been a good singer, a raw talent her parents had fostered from her childhood, but she'd never intended on doing anything with it. But when her best friend started learning the guitar she begged Aelin to do some duets with her, and Lysandra was a tough person to deny. So they would mess around with different arrangements, would butcher their favorite songs, until one day, it sounded good. Really good.

They started practicing more seriously then, and by their senior year of high school, they had really honed their skills. Lysandra's fingers danced along the strings with ease, rarely making a mistake, and Aelin had enrolled in singing lessons to refine her ability. She even tried her hand at songwriting, and after a year of failed attempts, finally produced something passable.

They roomed together in college, Aelin majoring in Business, as she planned on following in her mother's footsteps and running Ashryver Inc., while Lysandra chose psychology, since she intended on going into social work. They spent any free moment composing and playing and videoing their songs, but they still hadn't decided to do anything with their newfound skills. But somehow, everything fell into place.

Aelin found their keyboard player when she bumped into a childhood friend on campus. She hadn't seen Elide since elementary school, when she had moved to New York to live with her uncle after her mother's death, but college had brought her back to California, and Aelin was eager to rekindle their friendship. The girls became close quickly, old bonds quickly reinstated, and when she told Elide about her and Lysandra's little duo, Elide told her that she was currently enrolled in the school's music program, and had been training on the keys for years. Aelin insisted she play with them, just for fun, but Elide was hesitant- she had grown very shy in their years apart. Elide eventually agreed, but only if she could invite her roommate, Manon, who played the drums.

Aelin easily agreed. She was happy to find one new person to play with, not to mention two.

The next afternoon, Elide let them into the music hall, taking them to one of the many rehearsal rooms in the building. Inside, a silver-haired girl was adjusting the height of her drummer's throne, flashing them an assessing glare as they entered. Lysandra immediately darted towards the rack of guitars on the wall, running her hands over the glossy wood in wonder. But Aelin didn't have any fancy instruments to fawn over- mics were mics- so she scanned the area, taking in the sheer amount of instruments in that one room. She didn't know what kind of funding this school had, if every rehearsal room was stocked like this.

Manon stalked over to them, using her height to her advantage as she stared down at Aelin. She could see why people thought Manon was intimidating, with her blood-red lips that curled into a smirk and her metallic painted nails, so long they were basically claws. Aelin just looked up at Manon, a slow smile spreading across her face as she extended her hand. "Aelin Ashryver-Galathynius." Aelin respected the effort at intimidation, but hoped Manon didn't think she would be able to cow her. Aelin actually really wanted to be her friend- she loved a girl who would get shit done- but she had too much self-respect, and maybe too much pride, to let herself get steamrolled by this girl.

Manon raised an eyebrow at Aelin's gall, her smirk turning into a proper smile. She probably wasn't used to meeting her match, but she didn't seem unhappy about it. "Manon Blackbeak," she said, grasping Aelin's hand firmly. "Elide said you sing?"

"Yeah, and my roommate Lysandra," she pointed at Lys, "plays guitar."

Flipping her silver hair over her shoulder with a curt nod, Manon said, "Well, let's get started. No point wasting more time than we need too."

Aelin frowned at her pessimism, but they all got into position, Lysandra widening her eyes dramatically at her roommate when the other's backs were turned. They all toyed with their instruments, tuning them while Aelin warmed up her voice, before deciding on a song they all knew. The first couple tries were rough, but eventually they got a feel for each other's style and techniques and the song really came together. It was far from perfect, but it had potential.

Surprisingly enough, it was Manon who suggested they start practicing seriously, as a band. The girls had been shocked at the suggestion, but quickly agreed. What did they have to lose? Maybe something would come of it, but even if nothing did, they all loved music, so there was no time and energy wasted. They compared schedules and found a time they could meet every day.

They started with covers, getting the hang of playing together and making their sounds blend seamlessly, before moving on to original tracks. Lysandra and Aelin started looking into gigs, and when it came time for them to pick a name, Aelin had the perfect one. Bitch Queen, the nickname given to her courtesy of her entire high school student body; she had loved it then and she loved it now. The girls loved it too.

They played gigs all throughout college, becoming regulars at small venues, even scoring Friday night spots at a couple bars and clubs. When someone posted a video of their set on YouTube, everything went nuts, and suddenly they had offers from twenty different labels. Everything after that was a blur: signing the contract with Terrasen Records, dropping their first singles, writing their first album, recording their music videos. In just over a year, they had become one of the biggest names in indie rock.

It was while they were recording at the studio that they met the men of The Cadre. Their lead singer, Fenrys, had popped his golden head into their recording room in the middle of a set, scaring the living shit out of Lysandra and ruining the take, but he just laughed and said, "The boss told us the label was getting a new group, but didn't expect them all to be so pretty," with an exaggerated wink. They all just rolled their eyes and laughed at his come-on, except for Manon, who snarled at him. Fenrys had the good sense to look nervous at that, but he quickly recovered, sticking his hand out to all of them. "I'm Fenrys, lead singer in The Cadre. These are the guys," he said, gesturing behind him to where three other men had slipped into the room, looking much more uncomfortable than their friend. Aelin's eyes scanned the guys, thoroughly impressed by the sheer size of them. They had to be the most muscular men she had ever seen, and all unfairly attractive.

"This is Gavriel, our guitarist," Fenrys said, gesturing to the other blond in the group, who flashed them all a small smile.

"Next to him is our bassist, Lorcan." Lorcan's long black hair shone as he pulled it up into a ponytail, barely sparing them a glance before turning away. Aelin smiled to herself when his eyes shot back up and went straight to Elide, but the moment only lasted a few seconds before Lorcan schooled his features and dropped his gaze.

Chuckling to herself, her eyes caught on the white-haired man towards the back, his toned arms crossed over his chest. "Lastly, we have Rowan Whitethorn, our drummer." He had a wicked tattoo stretching down the side of his face and onto his torso, judging by the way it disappeared into his turtleneck. When she dragged her eyes back up to his face, she found his eyes already on her, though he didn't seem to be appreciating the view the way she was. No, he was sneering at her, looking at her like she was the dirt on the bottom of his shoes. Aelin blinked at him, as much surprise as she would show, before drawing her eyebrows in and fixing him with a glare of her own. She had just met the man. How could he already hate her? Aelin snapped her gaze away from him, briefly introducing her friends to the men.

The two bands ended up spending a lot of time together, since both groups happened to be in the recording process at the same time. Aelin and Fenrys became fast friends- their personalities were too similar for them not to get along. But they weren't the only one's getting close. Anytime the bands met up or had lunch together, Elide and Lorcan always wound up next to each other, practically ignoring everyone else as they listened to each other in rapt attention. No one was surprised when the two announced they were dating later that month; everyone had seen that one coming from a mile away. The girls were thrilled for their friend- even though Lorcan was a raging bastard to all of them, he seemed really good to Elide. And both Manon and Aelin didn't refrain from detailing exactly what they would do to him if he hurt her. He only gave them an unimpressed look.

Aelin managed to become decent friends with Gavriel, his soft-spoken demeanor giving into wicked humor once he got comfortable. She tried, several times, to speak to Rowan, but every single time he met her friendliness with hostility, barking insults at her that hurt more than she was willing to admit. She hurled insults of her own in response, but after a while, she gave up trying to get Rowan to warm up to her. Whatever she had done to make him hate her, there was obviously no way for her to undo it, so she decided to just leave it be.

They all kept in touch after they finished recording, attending the same events and even going out to dinner together. Bitch Queen's album was a smash hit, and The Cadre's third album was pretty popular as well. They met up for congratulatory drinks after both albums had dropped, toasting to new music and new friends.  

Now, Bitch Queen was prepping to go on tour in two months, and Aelin was lying if she said she wasn't freaking out. Playing their little shows when they were unknown was one thing, but an entire tour of sold out venues? She knew they were good, was confident in the songs she had written and in her own vocal ability, but she just didn't want to let anyone down.

Aelin couldn't help that she channeled her nervousness into aggression. And it was Rowan's fault for tweeting that shit, anyway.

She had tweeted a picture of their tour dates with the caption: "20 shows!! I'm crazy nervous but crazy excited to see you all!!"

To which Rowan replied: "we've got 35 shows, and I'm not nervous at all."

It wasn't really that big of a deal, but it made Aelin's blood boil. Was he insinuating that she was less professional than him because she was nervous? For her first tour ever? And of course The Cadre had more shows than them, this was their third studio album, they already have a fanbase. What was Bitch Queen supposed to do, become The Strokes after their first single?

Aelin couldn't help herself: "Maybe if you played anything difficult, you would be. Manon could play your parts in her sleep."

The response came in minutes: "No, experience just makes you more composed. Maybe you'd know if you had some."

She was seething. Was he calling her an amateur?: "I think nerves make me a better performer; it means I care about the quality of the show I give my fans. I won't disappoint them because of my own arrogance."

Rowan replied: "Fans? What fans? Your 8,000 streams on Spotify?"

Aelin was going to murder him: "Try 800,000. If I recall correctly, your band's debut album didn't do near as good as ours. Watch yourself."

Rowan: "Ooh, you've really scared me now."

Aelin's phone rang before she could finish her response, her PR manager interrupting her tirade. She tried to cool her anger before she answered the phone, but she still snapped, "What?" into the receiver.

"Aelin! What the hell are you doing?"

"Hey, don't look at me, Rowan started this. I'm just defending myself."

"Well, stop. Christ, Aelin, Twitter's having a field day with this. You and Rowan are going to be the main story in every tabloid by tomorrow morning. Everyone's talking about your hatred for one another."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter."

"It does matter, Aelin. This not only makes you look trashy, which is especially bad for an up-and-coming band like yours, it also reflects poorly on the label to have two of its artists fighting on a public domain."

Aelin deflated. She didn't even think of it like that. "Okay, what do we do?"

"You don't do anything. I'm emailing with The Cadre's PR manager right now. We're going to have to meet in person to work out the logistics, but you and Rowan are going to have to make everyone think you're friends."

"What?" She and Rowan have not had one pleasant interaction. She doubts anyone would buy that they were friends.

"You can't take back what you've already said, so we're going to have to twist it like you two were joking around. But we can't stop there, people will think its just a ploy."

"Which it is."

"Yes, but they don't need to know that. So we're going to have to sell that you two have been really close friends ever since you started working at Terrasen Labels. That means hanging out one-on-one in public, posting photos together on social media, doing whatever you have to do to make this believable." She sighed. "Look, I'll update you tomorrow on what the plan is, but for now, just stay quiet, okay? No more social media posts."

Alien could practically hear her rubbing her temples through the phone. "Got it. For what it’s worth, I'm sorry?"

"Yeah, yeah. Get some sleep," she said before hanging up the phone.

Aelin tried to sleep, but she couldn't stop thinking about how they were going to pull this off. Rowan was a prick; there was no way she convincingly act like she enjoys spending time with him. She wouldn't be surprised if he outright refused the plan their PR teams had created, what with his egotism. Stardom really went to his head.

Aelin imagined going out to get coffee with Rowan Whitethorn for all of one second before she smashed her pillow on top of her face and turned her brain off for the night. She would deal with all of this in the morning.

notes: ahhh I'm actually really excited for this fic, so I hope you guys have some interest in it!! let me know what you think or if you would like to be tagged!

[worldwidebt7]

Hell[L]ing || 04

§ — Pairing: Chimera!Taehyung x Empath!Reader (with mentions of Reader x Other Members)

§ — Genre: SciFi AU, fluff, angst, smut, horror

§ — Wordcount: 3,416 § — Rating: M § — Warnings: None. Kookie being the sweet helpful bun that he is.

§ — A/N: So, banged this entire chapter out in a day and a half because, well, QUARANTINE. I should have been working on my commissions or my Webtoon contest entry, but I had an itch to get the next chapter of this out because it’s about to get GOOD. Oh, and there’s a decent amount of Jungkookie in this chapter~ Enjoy!

 Summary: You moved out into the wilderness to live a calm, peaceful life. Your abilities made it impossible to live in crowded places, so even if you wanted to you couldn’t return. But when something happens outside the realm of even your normalcy, you start to think that maybe having everyone else’s emotions bearing down on you isn’t such a bad alternative to being trapped with your own.

Today, it was raining. If you had the ability to have the sky open up and rain on you every day, you would do it in a heartbeat— you loved the rain. It was the only time where you felt fractionally normal around other people. The constant interference of energy caused by rainfall created something like a static that made it easier to drown out invasive outside emotions. You could have a conversation with someone and not get barreled over by wave after wave of their feelings. Plus, you couldn’t resist opening the windows of your home to let the sweet, clean air left behind a recent rain shower wash away any stagnant atmosphere that may have accumulated within its walls.

Beyond that it was raining, it was also, suddenly, surprisingly, pleasantly, Friday. After the short, but no less exhausting, encounter with your neighbor, Seokjin, and his sickly roommate, Taehyung, the rest of the week passed by with little excitement. Namjoon had given you the look—one you were expecting to get, but nerve-wracking nonetheless— once he found out that you had yet to write basically the first 75 pages of your novel, though at this point he was not surprised if the lack of spike in his aura suggested anything. He had given you until Thursday to write at least an outline of events so he could have a better understanding of how the heroine falls into the unfortunate situation she finds herself in. Thankfully, you had been able to accomplish this task, and was even able to send in dialog samples. Namjoon, for now, had been placated.

The other thing about Friday, or this Friday in particular, was that it was the third Friday of the month signaling your bi-weekly visit from your favorite grocery delivery boy, Jungkook. He would be arriving a little after 4pm, as he kept your delivery to the end of his route. Good thing too; the two of you have recently gotten close and your chattering would often cause tardiness to Jungkook’s other appointments. Not to mention you lived fairly far out of the way for your delivery boy who drove nearly 45 minutes just to drop off six measly bags of filled with the food items you had texted him the previous day.

Honestly the boy was too helpful for his own good. There was one Friday where he had popped by with your things when you off-handedly mentioned how the ice-maker in your freezer wasn’t working properly and making too much ice. The angel that is your delivery boy spent the next 20 minutes with your irritating ice-maker, chipping away at the ice that had frozen over the rotator and fixing the setting all so you wouldn’t have to go with your original plan which involved defrosting your freezer, losing your frozen goods, and cleaning up a cold, wet mess afterwards. He had not complained once. Not about the ice, not about having to use a screwdriver as a pick, not even when his fingers had become so cold that you could feel the pain— literally.

This was one of many examples of his unbridled kindness, and one of the many reasons you were always excited to see the boy. As you straightened your house and rearranged your pantry to fit the incoming foodstuff, the rain continued to strike the outside of your house, mixing in well with the low-fi hip-hop you had playing in the background on your stereo system. It almost made you sleepy, but your relaxed state wasn’t enough to deter the building anticipation towards your future visitor.

When you were pleased with your pantry, you backed away and closed the door, just in time it seemed, as there was a quiet knock at your door. You sighed happily— you hadn’t felt the boy coming at all, bless the rain and its emotion-jamming effects. Ah, wait, the rain…

You zipped over to the door, realizing a bit sluggishly that Jungkook would be standing outside in the rain with all of your groceries until you opened it for him, as he was always the model citizen and wouldn’t enter without your knowledge. Clad in only socks, you slide across the hardwood flooring and straight into the door, hitting it against your shoulder with a slight ‘thud’, before regaining your footing and flinging open the front door. On the other side was a wet, mop-headed delivery boy, looking rather shocked at the speed in which you had approached the door and more than likely hearing the impact your body made with it.

“Sorry, sorry!” You said, picking up the reusable bags that he had lugged from his car and sat on your front step. Before you could grab a third bag, his hands shot out to stop you, fingers grazing your arm and allowing you to finally get a clear read on his emotions— he was like the air after the rain: sweet, clean, and refreshing.

“Noona, you don’t have to do that, I got those.” He said, picking up the other four bags, two in each hand, before following you into the house and, albeit with some trouble, kicked off his boots. Jungkook really had no wicked bone in his body, not one. He never had a second agenda, never said something he didn’t mean, never held a grudge; and his emotions reinforced all of these facts regularly. It was no wonder you liked being around him— you never needed your abilities to tell you what he was really feeling or thinking. He was an open book for you, and he did so with the knowledge of what you were capable of.

“Thanks for coming all the way out here for me, I really appreciate it.” You chimed, setting the bags down on the counter, Jungkook following suit. He gave a light-hearted shrug before ruffling some of the water out of his own hair.

“It’s okay, you are paying me after all,” A small huff escaped your lips at his comment as you placed your new gallon of milk into the refrigerator. Humor spilled into the air as you became accustomed to his energy despite the rain and he stifled a laugh at your reaction. “I’m only joking— well, no, you are paying me— you know I like hanging out with you!” You cracked a smile, not even able to continue to pretend to be mad at him.

“Yeah, yeah… took you long enough to talk to me though!” Teasing him had quickly become one of your favorite past-times. He was so easily embarrassed, and the way he always touched his ears when he was especially bashful entered dangerous territories for your heart. Precious boy.

“Yeah, well, I’m not, I didn’t, UGH. You know what I’m trying to say!” You sputtered out a laugh, not even the least surprised that you did, in fact, know what he was trying to say. He had confided in you shortly after communication had been established that he got nervous around new people, most specifically women. You weren’t sure why, he was a kind, bright, good-looking young man, and he had never produced much of a reason for it either. That’s just how he was. Perhaps he didn’t want to overstep any barriers and make people uncomfortable? Though now that you knew him, being uncomfortable with Jungkook was entirely impossible. And at his pink cheeks and pout, you caved, throwing a grape at him just to make him flinch.

“Alright punk, I forgive you.” You said before popping a different grape into your mouth. The dark-locked boy rubbed his chest where the grape had bounced off, feigning offence, the continuous stream of humor flowing off of him enough for you to know that he was enjoying your banter.

“Thanks, noona, really appreciate it, almost a year later!” He crinkled his nose at you as if he were irritated before tumbling into a fit of laughter, where you joined him merrily. Precious boy.

“So, what have you been up to? How’s school?” Routine questions, but you honestly wanted to know. He looked thoughtful for a moment, clearly trying to think of any recent changes in his life. You raised an eyebrow as you closed the door to your fridge once you finished putting away the chilled goods. As expected, he shrugged.

“The usual.” He began helping you by unloading the canned goods onto the counter top. “My film class is getting pretty interesting though.” Folding the tote bag the groceries were in, he placed it on one of your bar stools and then looked at you. “What about you? Anything interesting happen lately? Any more birds fly into your window?” You rolled your eyes at his teasing— living out here by yourself, you rarely had anything substantial to share with your friend. This time, however…

“Well, I’ve got new neighbors…” You revealed, picking up a few of the canned goods. Jungkook raised his eyebrow, following your lead and collecting a couple of cans to help you on your way to the pantry.

“Oh yeah?” You hummed, nodding your head as you placed your cans on the shelf.

“Mmhm. A tall guy with purple hair and his roommate that’s apparently always sick.” You elaborated, not mentioning names for now. “They’re… nice.” At your hesitation, you felt a slight buzz of uneasiness from the man beside you. You looked at him, knowing he was aware that you felt his change. “What?”

“Just nice?” His brows furrowed slightly as he looked at you like he was trying to read your energy, which you believed with little doubt he could. You spent too much time by yourself anymore and you long had forgotten how to properly dress your expressions for social interactions. You let out a breathy chuckle at his concern.

“Yes, nice.” You reiterated, plucking the cans from his arms. He gave you an unimpressed look that was garnished with a pout. With a sigh, you indulged him. “I can’t get a good read on either of them…” Your confession only left him more confused.

“You mean your empath stuff, right?” A nod of affirmation. “Why can’t you read them? I thought you didn’t know how to turn it off?” You hummed thoughtfully, taking the last can from him.

“It’s not that I can’t read them, it’s just that…” You turned from the pantry after placing the last can on the shelf and ran a hand through your hair. “The one dude is always freaking out— panic, panic, panic— all the time! I’m afraid that he’s going to give himself a heart attack! But beyond that, I have a gut feeling telling me that he’s a good person, even when he deliberately lies to me.” Arms crossed, Jungkook looked at you pointedly.

“So… a good liar?” He asked, trying to understand your instincts. You shrugged with a groan.

“Maybe? I don’t know, I really do think he’s… good.” You stepped back over to the counter to grab your new paper towel rolls and plastic wrap to be set in their proper locations. Jungkook slid onto a bar stool and leaned against the counter.

“Okay, not really sure what that means, but…” You glared at him, and he grinned at you, obviously trying to hold back laughter. “What about the other one?” At that, you paused. How were you supposed to explain ‘the other one’? Caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t bother putting way the items in your hand, rather opting to just set them on the counter again.

“Well, uh…” You trailed off, not entirely sure if he would believe you seeing as the last time you tried to explain something improbable with Yoongi didn’t go as you had hoped. However, looking at the wide-eyed boy in front of you, everything about his aura was open and trusting and you knew that if you told him, he would believe you. “His emotions come in ‘blips’.”

“’Blips’?” He repeated— not in a condescending way, but rather as if he were trying to place the definition of the word. You nodded, less than prepared to explain yourself.”

“Yeah, I can’t feel his emotions all the time, they go away and reappear like radar blips. But they’re always super intense.” Resting your forearms on the counter, you let the edge press into your ribs a bit as you leaned forward. Even without your abilities, you could tell that Jungkook was trying to think of an answer, anything that could be the cause. You almost smiled at his thoughtfulness— there was nothing to suggest he didn’t believe you.

“Well,” he started, breaking you out of your trance. “You said he was sick all the time, right? Maybe that could affect your readings?” You had thought about that possibility as well— you had never been knowingly near a significantly ill person, so you couldn’t say that it wasn’t conceivable; though saying that was the only issue would be erroneous. Still, seeing as this was the only reasonable explanation you had come up with, you chose to put your faith in it.

“Maybe,” You agreed, nodding. You didn’t bring up the midnight visitor or the crawly feeling of being watched the last week or so, knowing the kind boy in your kitchen would likely throw a fit trying to figure out a way to help you. To be honest, you kind of wish he would, though that was only in your own selfish interests. Since you hadn’t had any real incidents besides that one, you decided not to worry the boy.

Unfortunately, Jungkook’s visit this time around had to be cut short, as he had other responsibilities to attend to in the evening. You gave him sass of course, stating that you couldn’t believe that he had something more important to do than keeping you company. He laughed and apologized, though a small twinge of guilt in the air made you realize that he knew the hidden meaning in your friendly repartee.

You were lonely.

You were also aware that he knew you’d be able to feel the minute change in his emotional state even with the rain, but neither of you commented on it before you ushered him out the door so he could drive home while it was still light out. He bid farewell before sprinting to his car to avoid getting completely drenched and you waved from inside the doorway, flinching when he peels out of your driveway like he was Brian O'Conner from the ‘Fast & Furious’ franchise.

Sighing, you stood in your doorway for a bit longer, listening to the rain and watching the reflections in the puddles dance. This was the part you hated most— the emptiness that follows the end of social interaction. You were used to being alone, and the longer you were alone the more used to it you became. However, the small instances when you were able to talk to another person, be near them, smile and laugh with them… they reminded you that humans were codependent on each other. You needed other people. As much as you were physically pained to be near them, you needed them. As you spent more time in isolation from the world, the more you yearned to be normal.

The sound of a blunt object hitting the glass of your window wall had you spinning on you heel out of reflex. As Jungkook had teased you earlier, it was common for birds to fly into the large window panes. More often than not, they were fine and they flew off. But every once in a while, they injured themselves, and you took it upon yourself to assess their injuries and making them comfortable if need be.

So, imagine your surprise when there wasn’t a small, winged creature on your back patio, but rather a tall, soaked, handsome boy with his palm pressed against your French doors. You blinked a few times for good measure, hoping this was just an illusion and that you weren’t currently looking at your sickly neighbor with the weird readings standing in the rain outside your house. When you realized he was just going to continue to stand there looking into your house until you greeted him, you quickly shut your front door and hastily made your way over to let him in.

As you got close, you realized there was a buzzing in the air, like it was vibrating, again in blips like radar. You recognized this as anxiety or nervousness and quickly deduced that it was coming from your neighbor. You paused before opening the door— you didn’t know this man; you’d barely met him more than once and only heard him speak a single time, and it wasn’t even to you. Plus, you still couldn’t shake the unnerving feeling you got whenever he was within your range; there was too much similar between how you felt about the boy in front of you and the thing you saw that night. Were you really about to let him into your house?

Almost like he could feel your hesitation, his hand slipped from the door and he looked at the ground dejectedly. A hole appeared in you doubt at this innocent act, and a quick, shooting pain pierced your chest. You couldn’t tell if it was your own guilt setting in or his emotions afflicting you, but you opened the door without another lingering moment to think about how bad of an idea this was.

‘He’s sick and shouldn’t be in the rain,’ You told yourself as you now stood in front of this near-stranger without the protective barrier of your glass door. You swallowed, your own nerves now wreaking havoc on your body, though the dark-haired boy in front of you look more shocked and more nervous than you did. In fact, if you didn’t get him to calm down soon, his nerves would probably cause you to throw up. And the fact that his emotions only appeared like explosions in the atmosphere around you wasn’t helping. Still, the way he looked down at his feet rather than at you, just…

“H-hello…?” You greeted; your uncertainty evident in your shaken speech. He made the smallest movement, like he was flinching at the sound of your voice and you almost wanted to backtrack. Good lord he was skittish. “What, uh, what are you doing here? I-I mean, can I help you?” Fumbling over your words wasn’t new for you, but for some reason you were especially aware of your tongue’s missteps at the moment.

He stood there for a moment, contemplating you surmised, before peeking up at you through his wet bangs. You made eye contact and— sweet heavens— you forgot about the alluring abyss that was his gaze. It only lasted for a moment before he looked at his feet again, which, you finally noticed, were completely bare.

“You said…” Now it was your turn to be startled; only now remembering how deep and velvet-like his voice was, even with how soft-spoken he currently was. “…that I could come….” He shifted, his nervousness beating around you like drums as you let his words sink in. You said he could come… you said he could come? When did you—

“Oh, um, well my house isn’t too far from yours…He’s welcome to stop by from time-to-time if he’s able… It’d be no problem… It’d be nice to have company every once-in-a-while.”

You suddenly remembered that, yes, you had invited him to visit you during your interaction Monday afternoon. At the time, you had your reasons, reasons that you couldn’t remember for the life of you at the moment. What on earth possessed you to tell a stranger it was fine to wander over to your house just because you were neighbors?!

And yet, the way his large body looked so small in front of you, like he was pleading with you to let him in…

“I-I did…” You relaxed your face enough to smile at him, your nerves still eating at you and a headache starting to set in from the intensity of his. You stepped aside to let him in, to which his head shot up and his eyes widened— you suppose he didn’t think you would actually let him in, but the sudden, yet agreeable change in his emotional blips was enough to tell you that he was relieved, pleased even, as he stepped in from the rain. “I should probably get you a towel, huh?”

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[katsubiatch]

Hopelessly Devoted-1

Warnings~Slight smut-making out, drinking of alcoholic beverages, bar shenanigans, Hospitals, obnoxious exes, way too long of a chapter

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Your head throbbed as you tried to concentrate on keeping your eyes open, forcing yourself to breath no matter how hard you wanted to just quit. You could feel blood pooling out underneath you and knew you were a goner if no one found you.

No one would find you, no one would suspect you to be here. You'd just decided to help out in the ER after your latest fight with Katsuki. What a pain that was turning into.

Your eyes traveled around the intake room, it was a mess now after the man had thrown you around it. You couldn't be angry, he hadn't meant to be violent and was passed out again in his bed.

The ER was busy, and this mans vitals were fine. No one was going to find you. You'd die here, never to see Katsuki again. Oh you couldn't believe the fight you'd had. It was the same one as always but now you couldn't help but think that you'd never run your hands through that annoyingly spiky hair that never stayed put, or across his cheeks, the scars on his body. You'd never be able to tell him about...

Your thoughts were disrupted when the door to the intake room opened and in came an Angel you were sure of it. The Angel of death to take you away. At this point you'd have anyone if it meant the pain would go away.

The Angel dropped down to his knees next to you, pulling out all kinds of equipment and swearing under his breath. He looked a lot like Shinsou in his white coat. "What the hell happened?" He sure sounded a lot like Shinsou too. "Sweet cheeks stay with me." He muttered, a gentle hand touching your cheek. At least you'd have a gentle touch to help you through to the other side as your eyes slowly started to shift shut and you heard Shinsou yelling for help.

          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A Year and a Half Earlier~~~~~~~~~~

It had been another long day at the hospital, twelve hours that somehow turned into fourteen. You weren't sure why you always stayed late to help out when most of the time it felt like they couldn't care less about it but it was worth it in it's own way. You'd been able to help deliver a baby of a mom that had come in at the start of your shift so that had been a highlight.

Most of the time you worked was on labor and delivery, helping moms get through the rough process that was childbirth. Weather that be medicated, natural, water birth, c-section. You'd seen and helped through almost everything. However you also flip flopped between that and the ER which was a beast all in itself. Bloody limbs, gun shot wounds, cuts and bruises from villain attacks. It was all rough and fast paced, which was nice to get your shift out of the way but most of the time you'd end up staying later, caught up in the rush of it all.

You slammed down your third shot glass of the night, barely hearing Shinsou beside you telling you that you should probably slow down. "Slow down? Come on!! The night is young, beside it's only my third shot." You rolled your eyes, sipping on the drink that you'd had since you'd gotten there. It was a good buffer for the tequila that you'd just downed. "Come on, loosen up. You're always so up tight when we go out." "Probably because I have to be the responsible one." Shinsou rolled his eyes, taking a sip of the beer that he'd gotten himself. He'd take on shot with you but that was it. "Someone has to get us back to the apartment in one piece."

Shinsou had been your best friend since collage, he was studying to be a doctor and you a nurse. Which meant you had separate classes but were generally in the same buildings and just happened to meet up in the library one day. The rest was history as they would say. Grueling exams, late night study sessions and clinicals caused you two to have a strong bond however despite popular belief you two were not in a relationship. Just a close friendship. Of course there had been a few make-out sessions that while steamy, had made the two of you decide that you weren't right for each other. It hadn't made things awkward at all. Okay well it had made things awkward for a few weeks but the two of you had quickly gotten past that. Now the two of you often worked together still and shared an apartment, even if the two of you weren’t always there at the same time. 

“You do not have to be responsible here. There are things called ubers that can drive us home. Besides it’s no fun to get tipsy on your own!! There’s karaoke too! Some of the other nurses are coming over and we’re going to sing a few songs, you should join us.” You smiled happily up at Shinsou, sipping at your drink as your eyes wandered around the bar. They stalled at a table where two guys seemed to be busy with getting another blond man to relax with them while a girl with pink skin giggled at the three of them. In the back of your mind you had to know that they were all pro-heros but you couldn’t quite remember their names but damn they were attractive. 

Your eyes moved along their muscled arms, toned bodies, extremly  handsome faces... god when did heros get so attractive? You had to tear your eyes away before they got suspicious of your lingering glance. You were sure that it was difficult for them to go out without being noticed and you didn’t want to come off as this freaky fan. You’d helped patch up the electric blond hero after he’d gotten hurt one time. He’d spent the entire time sending one liners and flirting with you but you’d brushed it off as jokes. The redhead, Red Riot, had been totally polite, even apologizing the entire time about her having to stich up a pretty deep cut on his arm. She couldn’t remember who the other two were but they were all too attractive for their own good. 

Soon enough the other floor nurses that you worked with made their way to the bar and Shinsou left you in their caring hands. Which would have been except the three of you got.. well a bit more tipsy than Shinsou would have liked if he was there. It was fine you’d figure out how you’d get home later, now it was time for karaoke. After a few songs you found yourself needing the bathroom, which wasn’t surprising with the amount of alcohol you’d been drinking. You put it off for as long as you could before the call of the bathroom was too hard to ignore. Once you had finished your business and washed your hands, you were stopped on your way back to your table. Your hand grabbed and you were pushed against the wall. Your eyes widened as you looked up and noticed who it was. Your asshole ex who you had broken up with months before, the one who had gotten creepy and clingy fast. 

“Y/N.. what are you doing here?” He slurred, obviously having drank a bit. “I thought you didn’t like these kind of places.” “I didn’t like these kind of places with you.” Your eyes rolled as he tried to fight against his grip. “Hmm looks like your little roommate isn’t here to save you this time. Why don’t we go into that bathroom and make some noise?” He purred in your ear, making you shiver.  “I don’t think so...” You struggled to get out of his grip as he tried to haul you towards the bathrooms. You thought all hope was lost when suddenly you didn’t feel the strong grip crushing your wrist.

“I think the lady said she didn’t want to go with you.” A gruff voice sounded in the little hallway with the bathrooms. You opened your eyes and saw a head of ash blond hair, red eyes that were narrowed in annoyance basically staring holes into your exes head, holding on tightly to his wrist. Was there smoke coming off his hand? 

“Right.. right sorry DynaMight sir. I...” He didn’t get to say much more before the hero was growling at him, gripping his wrist tighter. “You shouldn’t be saying sorry to me, you should be saying sorry to the lady, dumbass.” He ground out, keeping his eyes on the other man. 

“Oh.. yeah. Sorry Y/N, I’ll leave you alone.” Once it seemed that the blond was satisfied with his apology he roughly let go of the other mans wrist before finally turning his eyes on you. “You okay?” He asked, a little rough but slightly more gentle than when he’d been talking to your ex.  “Yeah, yeah I’m okay.” You shook your head, sighing a little and wrapping your arms around yourself. You felt a bit shaken up after this encounter but you didn’t want to let it ruin your night. “I.. I really appreciate it.” “It’s my job, don’t think about it too much.” The hero got out, a bit rougher than he intended. 

“R-right. Well thanks again.” You nodded as you started to walk back to your table, only to find that your friends had ditched you. “Oh nice, perfect.” You sighed, groaning at the fact that you’d probably have to ask Shinsou to come get you and he wouldn’t be happy about it. “Your friends leave you?” The same rough voice from before asked you, making you jump a bit with how unexpected it had been.  “Yeah, they probably all got too drunk and forgot all about me.” You huffed a little, not quite ready for the night to end but not wanting to sit and be lonely at the bar. You heard a loud sigh and looked back to see the man running his hand through his hair. He was too handsome for his own good, you could drown in those eyes, and those arms. Oh what you wouldn’t give to feel them wrapped around you, your legs wrapped around his waist with those full lips whispering...  a sudden snapping got your attention and the sound of the bar brought you back.  “Hey did you hear me? I said that you could come hangout with my dumbasses if you want.” He murmured looking at you with concern. You shook your head of your little daydream, maybe it was time to stop drinking. “Yeah sure, that would be great. Thanks.” 

So that was how you found yourself at the table with the heros, whose names you all learned rather quickly. Kirishima and Kaminari had vaguely remembered you from the ER, but you’d never met the pink hero or the sinfully delicious man that had saved you. You were quick to find out their names as Mina and Bakagou. It was then that you spent the night, probably drinking more than you should, exchanging numbers with the group of heros, watching Kaminari get obnoxiously drunk which ended with Kaminari and Mina dragging him home. 

So you found yourself alone. With the insanely hot guy that you were having too many thoughts about. You blamed the alcohol in your veins for wanting you to push him up against the wall and suck face.  “Hey you’re doing that weird thing again... you alright?” He asked waving a hand in front of your face. God his hands were beautiful.. “Yeah I’m great. Just peachy.” Laughing, you looking up at the man who was watching you with curious eyes.  “Okay well... do you need me to walk you home?” Bakagou asked, leaning against the brick wall outside of the bar, bathed in the fake yellow of the lights lining the outside. “Uhh yeah actually that would be perfect but there is something I need to do first, and we don’t have to talk about it afterwards. I just wanna know what it feels like..” After all you probably won’t see this guy again, at least not in person anyway so what did you have to lose? You grabbed onto his shirt collar, pulling him more down to your level. The alcohol was giving you too much courage but you did falter for a moment before crashing your lips against his. Oh they were so much better than you had imagined. 

He stumbled into the kiss, clearly not having expected it but he recovered quite quickly, his hand coming to rest on your hip and the other cradling your face. You were glad that he didn’t instantly pull away, and your lips danced together sighing into his mouth. He tasted so good, like smoke and caramel. His lips were a bit rough but felt oh so good. You wanted to give into other desires, the ex from earlier bringing back too many bad memories that you wanted to wash away. But if you came back, slightly drunk, to your shared apartment with a guy you were sure it wouldn’t end well with Shinsou. He could be a real cock block, but you were grateful for it sometimes. You didn’t want to make decisions you’d regret when you were drunk. 

Soon enough the two of you broke for air, and you instantly bit down on your bottom lip as you looked up at the man who had a slight pink tint on his cheeks now. “Well, okay now that I have that out of my system lets go.” You tried to make a joke of it, letting go of his shirt and patting it back down before leading the way. Thankfully he didn’t mention it and managed to get you back safely to your apartment, 

Little did you know that soon enough you’d been seeing the hero again...

~~~~~~~~ A/N: Wow okay that was a bit longer than I had anticipated! I’m sorry the writing is not the greatest, I’m still trying to get back to this whole writing thing and find my groove again! Anywho this is basically just setting the scene and getting things ready for the start of their relationship! Thank you for reading. (:

[hydra-collector]

love & death & kisses

AO3

Pairings: Anxceit, platonic Analogical

Characters: Virgil Sanders, Janus Sanders, Logan Sanders, Roman Sanders (mentioned), Remus Sanders (mentioned)

TW: suicide attempts, self-harm, cursing, panic attacks, v v v slightly implied sexual content, food

Words: 4,153

Summary: Virgil meets someone.

Note: Human AU, I’m bad at naming, bad at summaries, Janus is ooc, i swear this is one of my better fics

Rain seeped into Virgil’s clothes, making him even colder than he already was. He’d forgotten his umbrella at work, so he’d have to get it tomorrow. Funny how things work that way. You put things off to the side for a rainy day, but when you need them they’re not there.

A tall, slim man stood beside him. He would usually avoid other people at the train station as much as he could, but he didn’t care at this point. He was cold, tired, in a depressive episode, and frankly too out of it to care.

The other man didn’t have an umbrella either, but seemed much less bothered by it. He checked his phone occasionally, but only typed something once or twice, aside from a seemingly frustrating venture on Google Maps from what Virgil could see. He was more on edge by whatever he was seeing on his phone than the weather.

“Excuse me, do you know where the nearest hotel is?”

The first thing he noticed was that the man was absolutely beautiful.

The second was his scar.

A wide scar, seemingly a burn mark, covered the entirety of the left side of his face. It traveled down his neck and past his shirt where Virgil couldn’t see it. His left hand had it as well, a pair of gloves stuffed in his pocket. His eyes were also heterochromatic, one much paler than the dark brown of the other.

Virgil didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially after the earlier events of the day, but he tried his best. He subtly hugged his side to provide pressure comfort.

“I think there’s one a couple blocks from Edwards Station. I don’t remember if it’s south or north. I can check.”

Virgil pulled out his own phone and found that it was half a mile north. Logan had sent him a text asking him why he was so late. He didn’t want to explain that he had to spend an hour on a bench in the pouring rain, trying to calm down from a panic attack. The stranger confirmed and checked his phone again, sighing when he didn’t find what he wanted.

Virgil could see his screen slightly. He’d been talking to a contact named April, both of them using a lot of cursewords angrily at each other. It looked like a pretty bad breakup. He figured he’d been kicked out.

The train arrived a few minutes after that. Virgil was never going to be comfortable with the thought of a big, heavy object rocketing in his general direction, but he wasn’t attempting suicide or anything at the moment. He learned to deal with it.

“Sorry, Logan, I’m here now.”

Logan had been Virgil’s roommate for almost three years now. He’d been his best friend even longer. He was the one there for him when he needed it most.

“What happened?”

Logan was making dinner for the two of them, which Virgil was disappointed to find out. The rule was they could make each other meals, but whoever made it got to choose what it was, and Virgil has never known Logan to make anything junkier than chili. Virgil had got him to eat macaroni and cheese a few times, so he counted that as a win.

“I… had a pretty bad panic attack.”

“Is there anything I can do to help now?”

“I think I’ll be okay. You don’t give bad hugs, though.”

Logan smiled slightly and hugged his friend firmly. He’d looked up the best ways to comfort people physically and figured out what was best for Virgil.

“Thanks, L. What’s for dinner?”

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to make it yourself.”

“Hey, you have plenty! You’re using two pans!”

“You hate fish, Virgil.”

“That’s fish? Ew.”

“What did you think it was?”

Virgil shrugged.

“Go get dry clothes.”

Virgil changed into another, softer hoodie and sweatpants. He figured he’d get something to eat later. He could go a couple hours scrolling on Tumblr or something before he’d be really hungry.

When he turned his phone on, it was still open to the hotel directions.

I hope that guy’s alright.

He’d seen him a few times before, he realized. The unmistakable bleached hair against the man’s dark clothing he recognized had never been put to a face, but he’d been at the train station a few times before. Virgil vaguely wondered if he got off work at the same time as he did and it was a coincidence seeing him today since his whole thing with April, or whoever.

You don’t know what happened, shut up.

Virgil squeezed his arm with his fingernails, hoping to make his self-hate go away.

Today was exhausting.

He didn’t want to go to work the next day.

~~

He’d had another bad day. His boss complained about the quality of his work again. It seemed he was fucking everything up lately. He’d gotten Roman angry at him for an insult accidentally personal, and Logan angry at him because he’d started cutting again. Who could blame him, though? It was just so much easier to cope by hurting than actually trying to help himself. At least he was still showering.

At least it wasn’t raining.

It felt like it, though. There was weight on his shoulders and chest, and he needed to cry. He wished he could afford a therapist. Then again, did he even deserve help?

Stop.

His inner voice was right. He should stop being so self-deprecating, it was annoying, he’d always been an attention seek-

Stop.

Virgil exhaled, rubbing his forehead and sitting down on the bench instead of standing for the train.

“Didn’t get to thank you. For the directions.”

“Hm?”

It was the man again. This was the first time he’d seen him in the few days since then.

“I needed a place to stay, thanks for telling me where it was. I tried looking it up, then texting my girlfriend to ask her if… I ran out of data, I wouldn’t have been able to get there if you didn’t tell me.”

“Oh. You’re welcome. Glad you found the hotel.”

He half-wished he didn’t have to talk to anyone right now, but something drew him towards this man.

And then he initiated a conversation. For once in his life.

“You just get off work?”

“Yeah. I work at the zoo. Reptile house.”

“Wow. I just have a boring tech job. I’m assuming you like reptiles, which one’s your favorite?”

“It’s basic, but I’ve always liked snakes. I have three.”

“I could never handle snakes. I know they probably won’t hurt me, but I’m anxious about everything.”

Am I oversharing? Should I be talking about my anxiety? Is that weird?

“I have a deathly fear of spiders, so that’s valid.”

Virgil would have said something else, but the train came, and it was difficult to talk onboard. It was weird how easy it was to talk to this person, even though he’d just met him.

~~

They’d got to talking about snakes.

Big breeds, small breeds, the most dangerous, the least dangerous kinds of snakes. Virgil swore he was being converted to like reptiles by this man. He talked about them with so much excitement, more than he showed any other time. Mostly he was calm and collected, a bit like Logan.

“I never got your name.”

“Oh, it’s Janus.”

Like, Janice?

“As in the Roman god, not like suburban mom.”

“Ah. Virgil.”

Neither of them smiled often, so whenever someone who knew them saw the smile, it always made them a bit happier as well. It was already happening with them, even a week or two into knowing each other.

“What kind of snakes do you have?”

“I’ve got a green tree python, a corn snake, and a ball python. Diana, Mercury, Liber.”

“All Roman names, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m a bit of a nerd.”

“It’s fitting.”

It was so easy to talk to him. More so than any other stranger. Usually he’d get anxious and all his energy would be expended (he usually had a mental breakdown if it was a lot of people). Something about him, the way he talks, moves, looks at Virgil. He’s like a reptile.

Don’t get a crush on him. He’s probably straight.

Maybe he isn’t, though. He could be bi or pan or something.

The train interrupted their conversation, but Virgil kept glancing over at Janus throughout. He was looking down at his phone, he must’ve gotten more service. Virgil got off after him, but it gave him time to consider Janus before he got home.

“Logan, I’m getting a crush on a straight guy and I just found out his name today.”

“You’re odd, Virgil.”

“He’s hot. And he likes snakes.”

“You hate snakes. Wouldn’t someone with an interest in spiders be more akin to you?”

“...He’s scared of spiders.”

“Virgil…”

~~

And he did get a crush on Janus.

They talked every day they saw each other, finally remembering they could exchange numbers. They spent months getting to know each other with pretty limited interactions, as neither of them texted or called much anyway. It wasn’t exactly a good thing, though, because he either spent his time at work thinking about Janus, panicking because his boss was mad at him because he wasn’t doing his work (because he was thinking about Janus), or completely depressed because he was angry at her for giving him a panic attack. And the cycle would continue.

It turned out April was his girlfriend, and they’d been in an unhappy relationship for a year or so. He was glad she’d broke it off, but was left without a house for a while. He’d managed to share an apartment with his friend Remus and that was going okay. Virgil didn’t tell him about his depression, but was open enough about his anxiety. Luckily for Virgil, he mentioned an ex-boyfriend.

He was not straight. Maybe he had a chance.

Are you kidding? He’s not gonna want to date you, worthless bitch. You can’t make him deal with your mental health, and he probably hates you anyway.

Their interactions were mostly limited to the train station, but that only meant Virgil appreciated them even more.

Still, he wished he could be happy.

The only times he was were, well, when he was talking to Janus and when Logan gave him hugs. Talking to Logan was enjoyable, but he kept reminding himself about everything going on, everything wrong with himself, how he kept fucking up, and cutting and wanting to kill himself. With Janus, he forgot. It was so easy to smile and laugh at sarcastic jokes and the cute things he did, like blush when he laughed and stick out his tongue unintentionally.

Time flew by when they were together. There wasn’t enough time before the train came to talk nearly as long as Virgil would have liked. Still, every interaction was worth it. His love for Janus grew the more he talked about what he does, and he actually seemed interested in Virgil’s job, even though he swore it must be the most boring on the planet.

“I think you’ve conquered my fear of snakes, Janus.”

“What’s this? I’ve shown my little ball of anxiety the ways of the snake with my own love for him and reptiles.”

My little ball of anxiety? And did he just say he loved me?

Was he thinking about this too much?

One corner of his mouth was raised in a smile and Virgil couldn’t help but blush, however much he wanted to ignore it. Janus chuckled slightly and picked up the conversation again, mentioning how Diana had gotten out and managed to get herself on the couch. Virgil proceeded as well, debating whether it meant anything or not.

~~

Virgil felt sick.

He felt all things horrible. Depressed, anxious, angry, hopeless, and worthless.

Over and over it repeated.

“I’m afraid someone as unstable as you isn’t fit to work here.”

Unstable.

Unhealthy.

Worthless.

Useless.

What was he going to do? He wouldn’t have money to keep living with Logan, he had to go through the stress of finding another job, people would judge him, he wouldn’t even be able to eat.

There was nothing he could do.

He trembled as he made his way to the train station. He was going to have a panic attack. Hell, maybe he was already having a panic attack. He wanted to cry but he wouldn’t cry. He had to go home and explain to Logan and he’d just have to live until-

No you don’t.

Of course he didn’t.

He was going to the train station, goddamnit.

He rubbed his hands on his face, static buzzing in his ears as tears almost came. This was going to be okay. It was all going to be okay. Finally.

He went up a different set of stairs, avoiding Janus. As he walked, the static slowly faded and was replaced with silence. Chosen silence, that is. He could hear the cars and the wind and the rain that had just begun to fall.

Fitting.

The train was early today, thank God. Its rumbling was familiar from the distance.

He took his last few steps to the edge of the platform, ignoring the tiny bit of anxiety that came with jumping down. He vaguely heard his name called over and over by the deep voice he knew well by now. He ignored it as well, starting with a slow walk, letting the raindrops soak into his hoodie. The walk sped up, and the rain got heavier, blurring out the train’s lights in a pretty way. He forced the muffled sound of his name out again, but it was getting louder.

There’s nothing you can do.

The walk got faster and turned into a run. He needed to catch the train before it slowed down.

Funny. Catching the train.

His ears pounded with the silence. So many things to distract him, things he loved. The awful sound of rain, knowing you’re going to get wet, but reveling in it anyway. The patter of feet on ground, now wood and gravel. And his voice, his beautiful voice.

The screech from the train stopped all other sounds, even splitting the silence in the bubble he created. It was warm, he hoped it was blood, so warm, so wonderfully warm.

Janus had never hugged Virgil.

He’d assumed he wasn’t one for being touchy-feely. He was tall and handsome, like the stereotypical distant, sexy man. But he wasn’t distant. He was there when Virgil needed him, even if he didn’t always know it. He put a hand on his shoulder or took Virgil’s hands in his to calm him down. He wished he’d gotten to know what kind of embrace he would have. Was it soft? Was it firm like Logan’s? Was it too tight? Was it always awkward like some people’s?

More than that, he wanted to know how his kisses were.

He imagined them soft, then passionate. Like something Virgil had always needed, the sweet feeling of pure love. He imagined he was the type to give solemn forehead kisses when a moment was serious, and short nose ones when the moments were playful. He imagined he’d kiss wherever he could on someone’s face, on his cheeks and chin, nose, lips, neck. They’d all be perfect for the occasion. There was a difference between a peck on someone’s cheek and smushing his lips against someone’s face. A slow kiss to the jaw was different from a badly-aimed one. Every subtle difference in position would say something new.

“I love you.”

“Shut up.”

“I need you right now.”

“You need me.”

He wished he’d learned every message. He wished he’d kissed Janus before today. He wished he’d at least told him and got rejected like he knew he would. He wished he could have everything. A hug and a kiss saying ‘it’s going to be okay. Nothing’s gonna happen to you. It’s-’

“-going to be okay.”

The sound of the rain hit the stones sharply, akin to the feeling on his back. Voices shouting, his voice, and a new sound.

His heart.

Virgil let himself sink into the rhythm and the feeling of warmth that encompassed him. Something was soft through the damp fabric, moving slightly every now and then. It was the pressure of something, a body-

-Janus.

He opened his eyes to see the blurry outline of blond hair covering Janus’s face. He raised his arm slowly to push it away, just then noticing the arms wrapped tightly around him, using the most of their surface area.

Janus’s eyes were beautiful and sad, was he- crying? Virgil couldn’t tell if it was the rain or tears until he sobbed, hugging Virgil even tighter, burying his face in his shoulder and muttering words Virgil couldn’t hear.

Virgil realized he was crying too. Of course he was crying, he was… alive.

He was alive.

“I’m sorry, Virgil. Please, please know I’m here for you.”

Virgil said nothing, still mute from shock. So many things happened just then, and now he was being hugged. And it was perfect, despite the rain.

“I could’ve- should’ve died.”

“No, Virgil, you shouldn’t have. You couldn’t have, I’d never let you.”

Did he really care?

“I need to- I need to tell you something.”

This could go horribly wrong.

I don’t care anymore. I’ve made the most impulsive decision of my life today, might as well make another.

Virgil took his hand to push Janus’s chin up, thumb tracing the scar closer to his lips.

“Can I-”

“Can I kiss you, Jan?”

He let his head drop towards Virgil’s, lips so close now. He would have smiled his snake smile if he could have felt an ounce of a smile.

Virgil pressed his parted lips to Janus’s, hand resting on the back of his neck. He pulled his fingers through his wet hair, feeling its softness even now.

It was everything he had imagined.

At first it was soft and tender, but Janus deepened it, hand wriggling out from under Virgil to hold his face. The raindrops drowned out that moment from the outside world. Janus’s heart quickened, as did Virgil’s, but they both relaxed into it. The scar was rough against Virgil’s face sometimes, but it only made him want him more. All either of them could hear were the raindrops contrasting with their hearts.

Virgil wanted to kiss him longer, hold this forever. When they did break, Janus laid his burned cheek against Virgil’s.

“Do you need to go home?”

He thought of Logan and how upset he was when Virgil cut, how hard he tried and how bad he felt for him. And how bad Virgil felt for hurting him.

“Can we go to your place? It’s... closer.”

“Oh- I suppose we could. I doubt Remus will be there.”

They avoided the people trying to help Virgil, weaving through the few scattered onlookers, Janus’s arm resting around Virgil’s waist. Virgil was scared he would have a panic attack again and tried to focus on Janus.

He called a cab as he wasn’t about to take the train after that, and sat in the backseat with Virgil, not letting him go for a second. It was expensive and Virgil tried to get Janus to let him pay, but he didn’t have much of an argument. Janus half-carried Virgil up the stairs and into his apartment.

It was clean, which Virgil guessed was Janus’s doing given what he’d said about Remus, and fairly dark. It wasn’t the kind of dark that made you feel uneasy, but rather as in lighted only with soft ambient light. He didn’t get a good look at their living room before Janus pulled him into his bedroom. It was painted a pretty yellow and lit with a color changing lamp, which Janus turned to purple.

He sat Virgil down on the bed, who was still rather dazed from the day. Janus rummaged through his clothing drawers until he found a shirt smaller than the others and an old-looking pair of sweatpants.

“Here, you can change into this.”

Janus grabbed some clothes for himself and left the room for a moment, allowing him privacy. Virgil removed his soaked hoodie and Evanescence t-shirt, putting on the soft purple one Janus had found. It had short sleeves, but he didn’t have anything to lose at this point. He put on the sweatpants, soft and warm and opened the door for Janus. He was changed into a big hoodie that Virgil would kill to wear.

“Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah, I- I think so. Sorry about the, the cuts.”

“It’s okay, Virgil. If you want me to get you something with long sleeves-”

“I think I’ll just end up stealing your hoodie at some point. Otherwise… it’s fine.”

“Okay.”

Virgil sat down on the bed again, craving the soft blankets. Janus took his spot beside him, wrapping one arm around his shoulders.

“Thanks, Jan. It- I’m, I’m alive because of you. I don’t know how I could repay that.”

“Tell me when this happens, and I’d die happy.”

Virgil smiled, leaning against Janus. He pushed himself against the wall, pulling Virgil along with him. He heaved the thick blanket around him and Virgil, but mostly Virgil. He snuggled into the weight and comfort, still sitting against Janus as if he were the only thing keeping him balanced.

“What happened today?”

“I got… fired. ‘Cause I’m too depressed to work. I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“I can help you find a job, V. It doesn’t have to be the end.”

“Sometimes it just… feels that way. Like you’re never going to get out of this pit of loneliness and you’re sure everyone hates you, and you’re so scared something will go wrong all the time even though you don’t really care.”

“I don’t hate you. And I know you can end this the healthy way. Shall we start with some ice cream?”

“Ice cream’s not exactly healthy, Janus.”

“Ssshh.”

He left for a moment and returned with two tubs of chocolate ice cream and a spoon for each of them.

“No bowls? And two whole tubs?”

“Mhm. It’s better that way. And you could have both of them if you asked.”

“Nah, you deserve some ice cream too. I probably hurt you a lot by doing that.”

“Mm-mm, Virgil. You’re hurting, not me. Self-care rule number one: you’re better than everyone for a while, put your feelings first.”

“I’m not.”

“Pretend. Now, what would you like to do?”

Virgil considered the question for a moment. It might be nice to listen to music, or to distract himself with a game or movie, but he didn’t really want that.

“Honestly?”

“Yes.”

“I… want to kiss you.”

Janus turned pink for a moment, before smiling his smile with one corner of his mouth.

Before he could say anything that he wanted to, Virgil kissed that smile. He wondered what it would be like to do so many times, so he wasn’t going to miss his opportunity. He put his ice cream down to hold Janus’s face with cold fingers, savoring the feeling of the little half-smile turning surprised and then into a giddy smile that began to kiss back. Virgil grinned when it ended, looking back into Janus’s eyes.

“So you’re going to surprise kiss me now?”

“Yep-”

Janus, just as quickly as Virgil had, kissed him quick on the nose, eliciting a blush from Virgil this time.

“Unfair, Janus.”

“Nah.”

“I’m gonna pout and eat my ice cream now.”

“Is there anything else we can do while eating ice cream?”

“I suppose we could watch a movie.”

“Lion King?”

“...Lion King? I mean, yeah, sure, okay!”

He smiled as Janus put the movie on, his familiar excitement seeping through. Virgil managed to wrestle the soft hoodie from him, revealing that one, he had no shirt, and two, that Virgil would cuddle Janus’s burn marks and he appreciated that. As Virgil fell asleep next to him, he pressed his lips to his forehead, who was just awake enough to feel.

And one by one, the messages were unlocked to him. Once, after a dance, came the desperate, passionate kiss that told him “I need to kiss you.” One Disney marathon he came to feel the peppered kisses on his cheeks that said “You’re adorable.” After a weekend trip alone he got the long cheek kiss that said ‘I missed you.’ When he finally got a job, he was given the messy kiss, cheeks held tight that said “I’m so proud of you.” One tired night he blushed at the kisses on his jaw and neck that said “You’re hot and I’m bored.”

And again and again and again, the tender forehead kisses that said “I’m here for you. I love you.”

[diyeoracha]

IwaOi Master Fic Rec List (50+ Fics)

Hello! In celebration accumulating over 190+ bookmarks on my AO3 account featuring IwaOi and Iwaizumi coming back into the manga (and for his (almost) birthday), I decided to create a masterlist of all of my favorite fanfictions in order to keep myself organized as well as contributing to more traffic on those works! I decided to split the works up by my own self-imposed genres, such as angst, coming-of-age (or the childhood-friends-to-lovers trope that we all love which depicts how their relationship changes as they grow up and will mostly be canon-compliant), and alternate universe. With the revival of Iwaizumi in the manga, alternate universes will be broken down into adulting AU where he and Oikawa’s diverge differs from in canon and actual, legit AU where there’s basically no volleyball.

I’ll include the title, link, word count, fic summary, and my own commentary (mostly for my own personal entertainment). While the AO3 fandom has been going strong since 2014, I personally have only been reading IwaOi fics for about 3 months, so I will most likely be recommending some cult-favorites, especially since I’ve been reading my fics by sorting through the tag with the most kudos.

My absolute favorites (or the ones where I personally push onto my IRL haikyuu friends) will be denoted with ♡ in increments of 1-3 with 3 ♡ being an absolute must-read. Fics marked with a * indicate that Iwaizumi or Oikawa or both are professional athletes because that’s honestly my Favorite Trope. This is incomplete as I got distracted while re-reading a lot of these and have only gone through half of my bookmarks, but feel free to check my own page here for the rest of them! This took me about 9 days to compile (aka this was in my drafts for about 9 days) but I do hope you guys enjoy reading these and leave comments and kudos!

Adulting AU 

*♡♡Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

Summary: It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

Thoughts: THIS IS IT. THIS FIC IS GOD TIER. They’ve been separated but now are falling back into old habits and there’s a confession on the line? Akaashi is in here and he’s pretty funny. I reread this all the time.

*♡♡♡the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

Summary: Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Thoughts: Absolutely the best IwaOi fic I’ve ever read. I’ve reread this about 4x and I always pay attention to a new sentence or detail that leaves me breathless. The characterization is pretty spot on, and I have to admit that this fic made me appreciate IwaOi a little more. I’ve cried countless times too. A cult-favorite but it doesn’t have nearly as many hits as it deserves.

♡days fall away

Word count: 17k

Summary: Except now he’s back home, so close to his old haunts and to Oikawa himself, and it's—weird.

Thoughts: They’ve separated for a bit but now they’re back in the same city and learning to be around each other again. Cue teasing from the biological and Seijoh family

it's been so long (nobody knows me the way you do)

Word count: 8k

Summary: Tooru hums, only half-listening. Somewhere along the way, Hajime’s palm has settled itself over the curve of Tooru’s cheek, thumb tracing over the line of his jaw.

Thoughts: They’re living together post-college feat. snapshots from their lives before getting together and their Seijoh team! It’s really soft but it manages a humorous tone as well.

Time

Word count: 5k

Summary: When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Thoughts: A piecewise fic told from Oikawa’s point of view. The tone is almost chatty but it really fits the pacing of the work as you get snippets and sentences of their relationship throughout the years

♡Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

Summary: Iwa-chan's leaving Japan. Tooru's not sure he can forgive him, but he's not going to admit his long-held feelings, either. A trip to Miyajima complicates everything.

Thoughts: They go on vacation right before Iwaizumi leaves Oikawa for a year. Oikawa ponders their relationship.

where fireflies never die

Word count: 4k

Summary: >>Oikawa: Hey Iwa-chan >>Oikawa: Did I ruin it?

Thoughts: Oikawa is a mangaka and basically writes his best selling series based off of him and Iwaizumi. This was pretty angsty ngl with a lot of introspection and second-guessing.

In the Business of Love

Word count: 22k

Summary: Meet Oikawa Tooru: He's a best-selling shoujo manga artist, a hardcore romantic and you won't believe where he's getting his lovey dovey fodder from...Enter Iwaizumi Hajime: He's Oikawa's best friend, a realist who also happens to be a wedding magazine writer despite not believing in romance...

Thoughts: Mangaka Oikawa but this is basically a rom-com lmao

Alternate Universe

Even Heroes (have the right to dream) 

Word count: 20k 

Summary: Oikawa Tooru, ace reporter of the superhero beat of Asahi Shimbun, hates superheroes. Or maybe he just hasn’t met the knight one yet. 

Thoughts: Superhero-hiding-his-identity-Iwaizumi and begrudging Oikawa? Sign me up. This fic spent a little more time on worldbuilding than eventual romance, but it is still absolutely unique and entertaining

The secret omega

Word count: 17k

Summary: Iwaizumi’s annoying as fuck best friend. Who absolutely, definitely, no matter what, cannot find out that Iwaizumi is an omega.

Thoughts: A/B/O dynamics where Iwa is the omega and Oikawa is the alpha. 90% plot building which is pretty nice.

Conquering the Great King

Word count: 105k

Summary: Oikawa's lips twitched into a smirk and he brought them hovering just over Iwaizumi's, "One time thing, Two time thing, what's it matter as long as it's not a Relationship thing?"

Thoughts: Malicious and flirtatious Oikawa meet immovable object Iwaizumi. They’re businessmen trying to navigate friends-with-benefits and love all at the same time. A+ sex scenes tbh. 

♡Infinite Risks

Word count: 8k

Summary: “It’s my fate,” Oikawa responds slowly. He’s crying.“It’s too lonely,” Iwaizumi’s heart sounded broken. “And I’m not there with you. Not really.”

Thoughts: Edge of Tomorrow AU!!!!! Please watch Edge of Tomorrow first because it’s truly a brilliant movie that I wholly enjoyed and this fic reflects that. This also made me really sad so Beware

*♡Something Like Us

Word count: 28k

Summary: Friends since childhood, Oikawa and Iwaizumi now live together, both playing for the National Team. It's no secret that athletes who are bonded perform better. So if the two of them happen to bond...It'd be for the good of the team, right?

Thoughts: ABO dynamics (and somewhat canon-compliant) as they’re roommates, on the national team, and try to navigate being “fake” mated while harboring feelings

And All the Prince’s Men

Word count: 65k

Summary: “Father only loves that which he owns, and I am the one thing that can never truly be his.”

Thoughts: Royal bastard son Oikawa and his servant Iwaizumi. An enthralling read and universe. The romance takes a secondary seat here as it focuses more on plot and world-building. 

♡long nights, no peace

Word count: 18k

Summary: It's the steady knowledge that Iwaizumi Hajime will always be someone that he can rely on, that no matter what the world throws at the two of them, they share in a piece of each other's soul.

Thoughts: Pacific Rim! AU. Otherwise known as my favorite types of AUs because they’re basically soulmates (platonic or not,, but they’re not platonic here)

♡(sing with me) A Song of Conquest and Fate

Word count: 26k

Summary: When Seijou receives a missive from Aobajousai to discuss a potential peace, its emperor Oikawa Tooru could not have foreseen the series of events that would follow.

Thoughts: Warring states/historical fantasy AU. The world building is amazing and this author has great control over her language use

Cotton Breathing

Word count: 13k

Summary: 

Thoughts: Long-distance and summer only but childhood friends Iwaoi!!! A dreamy summer piece and reading it almost makes me feel like I’m in a Studio Ghibli movie because of the mood it puts me in

Similar Creatures

Word count: 53k

Summary: "What's your name?" "Whatever you want it to be."(Or, Oikawa gets directions from an attractive stranger on a street corner.)

Thoughts: Iwaizumi is an escort and Oikawa needs a fancy date

Space

Word count: 44k

Summary: Tries not to think of his rooftop garden, or the apartment he used to inhabit, or Hajime’s broken expression on the night they whispered their goodbyes before Tooru’s launch, attempting to push it all to the back of his mind behind visions of this alien world terraformed

Thoughts: Oikawa’s in outerspace. They’re separated. This left me feeling pretty empty ngl.

♡here comes your man 

Word count: 8k

Summary: Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3Suga chokes. It’s hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan.” But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.

Thoughts: Doctor AU where Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s relationship is pondered by Suga

In the Telling

Word count: 6k

Summary: Muggleborn Iwaizumi could not be less impressed with pureblood Oikawa Tooru.

Thoughts: Harry Potter AU where they’re in the same year and aren’t really friends but are also friends

♡♡The Loyalty of A Traitor

Word count: 76k

Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was an undercover officer with a single objective: Infiltrate the Seijoh Syndicate of the Yakuza and tear them down from the inside out. His primary target was the boss, Oikawa Tooru. The job itself was simple enough, until Iwaizumi got in too deep and absconded not only from the mission, but from the city itself.

Thoughts: Oh fuck this was Good. Yakuza boss Oikawa???? Disgraced Iwaizumi??? Do they fall in love (again)?

and suddenly, we were traitors

Word count: 17k

Summary: "sorry, it's just... you’ve been amazingly kind to me these past few days. ...but i'm still not sure who you are.”

Thoughts: The amnesia fic this fandom needed

Trial by Fire

Word count: 78k

Summary: (lawyer!AU - in which Iwaizumi loves his objections, Oikawa is beautiful, and they have more chemistry than two opposing attorneys probably should.)

Thoughts: Hot

dear diary, i met a boy

Word count: 15k

Summary: Iwaizumi's first impression of his upstairs neighbor involves getting woken up at two in the morning to the sound of Oikawa singing along to trashy pop music. He'd thought it would get better, but it all just goes downhill from there.

Thoughts: Model Oikawa and salaryman Iwaizumi meet and try to make it work

on shipwreck shore

Word count: 8k

Summary: “I’m going to murder you in cold blood and feed you to the basilisks,” Iwaizumi says conversationally.“You can’t do that, I’m your boss,” Oikawa sings, positively sparkling. “Also we’re partners, which means,” he points at Iwaizumi and leans in, “you’re stuck with me.”

Thoughts: Detectives but they’re actually funny

♡Lockdown

Word count: 72k

Summary: Within the first few months of his stay, Oikawa gets caught up in a war between cellblocks, becomes a prime target, and must decide just how far he's willing to go to protect Iwaizumi Hajime.

Thoughts: Orange is the New Black AU!!! Im a sl*t for tatted Iwaizumi

an allegory of all the things we could’ve been

Word count: 16k

Summary: “I don’t know anything about some red string,” Iwaizumi murmurs into the cracks of Oikawa’s skin, “or even about lifetimes or fate. But no matter where you are, I’ll find you. Gods or otherwise.”

Thoughts: Reincarnation AU throughout the timelines. A good soft read that leaves you sort of empty

Angst

Timeless (We Have 30 Days)

Word count: 12k

Summary: Or AU where you're branded 50 days before you die. But Oikawa doesn't tell anyone so now there's only 30 days left.

Thoughts: Ahhhhhhhhh tears

the weight of water

Word count: 6k

Summary: “Again,” he says, the smallest tremor in his voice, and Oikawa blinks at him a moment before smiling, soft and sweet. “Iwa-chan,” he replies, and Iwaizumi closes his eyes. “Again.” “Iwa-chan.”

Thoughts: Death fic 

open when

Word count: 1k

Summary: Iwaizumi knew it was coming, but it still hurt. It still hurt when he opens one letter and drowns it in the tears he cannot keep at bay.

Thoughts: It takes only 1.6k words to make me cry

Canon Compliant/Coming-Of-Age

♡♡i sing the body electric

Word count: 8k

Summary: It was never part of the plan, falling in love with his best friend, but then again, most things in Iwaizumi’s life that involve Oikawa rarely unfold the way he thinks they will.

Thoughts: A beautifully introspective piece told from Iwaizumi’s point of view. It’s wholly intimate and it toes along the lines of pining and soft angst. It’s told in snippets from their lives growing up together. 

♡we can do better than that

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

Thoughts: There’s a lot of character analysis and it takes a step away from the casual banter they’re always portrayed to have and focuses on the intricacies of their relationship. The tone is almost a little more melancholy. (also they have to share a bed! trope)

♡when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?”OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

Thoughts: Oh This Is It IwaOi stans. This fic really solidified my own headcanon for Oikawa (spoiler alert, OP isn’t too fond of Oikawa but she fleshes out his character and his idiosyncrasies so well that you can’t help but be drawn into all of his imperfection) and this fic respects Iwaizumi as well. It has absolutely great characterization and the fic ends on an ambiguous note. 

to be first, to be best

Word count: 26k

Summary: Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks “I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren't I?”

Thoughts: College roommates trying to navigate having feelings for each other while also dating others and not realizing that they’re jealous? A cult favorite.

♡things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he's in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only a while.)

Thoughts: Ahh a slow burn featuring daily moments between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Oikawa starts to notice the little things. This was a cute read because Oikawa just comes off as wonderfully earnest. My first Iwaoi fic! And a great one because it really set the standard to how I interpreted their relationship.

it’s better than words

Word count: 3k

Summary: [ or : oikawa makes iwaizumi participate in three bonding activities for new friends, and iwaizumi just wants to know why oikawa's being so weird about this]

Thoughts: Soft pining, fluff, banter, and whispered confessions. This fic really nailed the banter of high school students really well.

♡shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

Thoughts: Oikawa falls first and but Iwaizumi realizes his feelings later on! So soft, so slow burn, so much pining. We get to see their relationship through Iwaizumi’s eyes and actually read him analyze his own feelings.

♡we shine like diamonds

Word count: 26k

Summary: "You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Thoughts: Character analysis, homophobia, and coming of age makes a good and angsty iwaoi fic

terrarium

Word count: 11k

Summary: At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Thoughts: Oikawa has a terrarium and names all of the rocks he puts in (that Iwaizumi gave him) “Iwa-chan #_”

Chasing Paper Suns

Word count: 10k

Summary: Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Thoughts: This was pretty sad tbh. Of what it means to grow up together and then suddenly having to adjust to living without each other’s presence.

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Thoughts: Of growing up together, making decisions for each other, and wanting to be together

Only the jellyfish know

Word count: 6k

Summary: Their third and final year at Aoba Jousai has come to an end, and the guys decide to go to the beach the day after graduation.That day, the ocean water is salty, the watermelon is sweet, and the people are sweeter.

Thoughts: Established relationship

Smut

strange.

Word count: 1k

Summary: "god, i fucking hate you."oikawa smiles, cause he knows it's not true. he knows iwaizumi loves him, knows iwaizumi adores him. but he plays along."i hate you too,"

Thoughts: It’s hot

Say My Name 

Word count: 2k

Summary: “Hey, have you ever tried saying my first name?” Iwaizumi blurts, and the thought jumps out of his subconscious only after he's posed the question.

Thoughts:

No Touching Allowed

Word count: 10k

Summary: “You’ve got one rule,” Iwaizumi winks at him.

Thoughts: ExoticDancer!Iwaizumi and stressed out/repressed businessman Oikawa also an AU.

Honorable Mentions

things wikipedia doesn’t tell you

pillow

Phone Home

Share my life, it’s yours to keep

in progress to you

no sleep in the city

The PDA jar

Kissmarked

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Stark’s New Intern” Chapter 20

"Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep We will find you acting on your best behavior Turn your back on mother nature Everybody wants to rule the world

It's my own design It's my own remorse Help me to decide Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure Nothing ever lasts forever Everybody wants to rule the world"

Tears For Fears – "Everybody Wants to Rule The World"

Erik watched Maria down a shot of tequila and squeeze a sliced lime into her mouth. He sipped on a glass of ginger beer and watched the festivities aboard Le Sirene, Stark's 456-foot-long custom-built yacht. Scalloped sides, silver and turquoise accents and large glass facades gave panoramic views inside the interior. Sailing off the coast of Malibu, the balmy air and fresh smell of seawater relaxed Erik.

Stark spared no expense to wine and dine the interns. Everyone around Erik were in various states of good humor, ecstatic thoughts of the future, and varying degrees of sobriety.

Athena accepted a job with a completely different company in Paris.

Giselle would start a mid-level position in Stark's New York offices.

Valentina accepted a generous package with Stark in Los Angeles under the thumb of Janine.

And Maria…she had two top Stark Industries choices. Stay in Los Angeles with Valentina, or take an opportunity to work for Stark in D.C.

Only fifteen percent of the interns were offered jobs with Stark. The fact that all off his female friends received the careers they worked so hard for pleased Erik to no end. He was also looking forward to being right next to Tony. As soon as Happy from security gave him his new clearance, Erik had access to offices and buildings within the Stark sphere of influence.

Once he was removed from the interns, Erik spent two weeks shadowing Pepper Potts. She informed him that she would guide his transition into more of a junior assistant role. Erik liked Pepper's directness. She wasn't a fun person to hang around. Her tight lips and tight ass personality hid a core rooted in needing to keep the world around her extremely organized. Erik recognized the signs of obsessive behavior. He had it too.

Pepper was easy to read and she seemed to be irritated with Erik's relaxed stance around Stark. She dug into him during a lunch meeting the two of them shared.

"You need to be the one to keep Tony grounded. He's really just a big kid in a candy store and even though he is brilliant, he is also very brash. Impulsive. The key to doing the job right is to keep the riff-raff away from him and make sure he stays focused on the task at hand. He doesn't need another sycophant. Everyone wants a piece of him, so don't be afraid to be rude or abrupt. You and I will be in direct contact and I will be in charge of your itinerary with Stark daily. Any changes that need to be made go through me first."

Pepper always regarded him with a bit of detachment and triple-checked his work often. After two weeks of realizing that Erik was more than capable of handling Tony as her junior, she let up a bit. Just a tiny bit. Erik had to adjust to how he would stomach those other looks she gave him. Looks that always made it seem like she pondered how he was in Tony's orbit. This Black kid with the genius I.Q. and Oakland attitude. So many overly pedigreed interns and Stark chose Erik above all of them. A guy not even out of his teens yet.

Erik also learned another little tidbit about Pepper.

She was annoyed with Devika.

Maybe not annoyed…more like jealous.

The two women maneuvered around each other professionally. But more than once, Erik caught Pepper giving Devika catty looks when she was in Stark's inner office. This piqued Erik's curiosity even more, making him want to know what type of relationship Devika really had with Tony. It made Erik's stomach hurt sometimes to think that his boss had been with his girl in that way.

His girl.

Erik's eyes swept over to the open bar on the yacht's third deck as Devika picked up a champagne flute and tipped the glass against one of the female interns next to her. Prior to coming on board the luxury boat, Erik spent the afternoon with Devika at a café looking for an apartment for him. A basic one-bedroom in a decent neighborhood close to work was averaging three thousand a month.

Money wasn't a problem. Stark made good and gifted Erik with a hefty players fee from the poker game. Erik sent portions of his winnings to his relatives and banked the rest. He could afford a fancy apartment or even a condo himself if he wanted. But spending the night with Devika made him want one thing: to be with her.

He whined to her about having to spend a grip of money in a hotel and hinted that he would look for a roommate situation to ease him into a new living situation. He already had his belongings in her apartment and they were now sharing a bed. He wanted to stay with her during his fellowship. But she was concerned about Tony finding out about them. He was too chickenshit to ask outright if he could live with her hoping she would suggest the idea herself. She didn't.

Erik watched Pepper approach Devika and as the two women spoke to one another, he moved to the other side searching for the man himself. Jazzy tunes were piped in throughout the yacht and Erik tried to go where he last saw Tony.

A wet kiss on his cheek caught him off guard and Giselle's face came into view as she slid around him.

"You're real quiet tonight. Everything okay?" she asked.

"I'm good. Just looking for Boss Man."

"I never got a chance to properly congratulate you on your fellowship. Stark was right about you. From Day One. You were the man to beat."

"You haven't done so bad yourself."

"New York, baby!" Giselle squealed. She closed her eyes and did a little happy dance, "They loved my work with the Expo and I was a good fit for his team out there. I am over the fucking moon. I am going to kill out there."

Her eyes glinted with endless possibilities and Erik caught a glimpse of Tony walking toward him.

"Stevens."

Giselle slipped away from him to join a raucous group dancing in an open space. Tony handed Erik a glass of champagne.

"You missed my grand going away speech," Tony said.

"No, I heard it. I was just up here. Taking it all in."

"This is just one of the many perks of doing what I do. Showing appreciation for everyone giving their best."

"Do you ever get bored with it? I mean, all this," Erik said glancing around at the grandeur and all the decadence.

"Not really. When I was younger, I used to get bored…not with the money, but with the same packs of roving cliques. Money is never boring. Rich people? Yes. Money? Never. I just learned how to spend my money well and surround myself with interesting characters."

Erik drank from his glass and Tony moved closer to him.

"Pepper says you are ready for the big leagues. It's going to be quite a shift from being an intern."

"I can handle it."

Erik followed Tony around the ship, and as the night progressed, he longed to be alone with Devika and just watch a corny movie. She flitted around, and the yearning grew in his heart. It was a new feeling for him. Wanting a one on one. Athena and Giselle were open to him having a goodbye tryst with them, but he wasn't interested, and that shocked him. Turning down exceptional pussy? An abomination in his previous life, but now…

The black sheath dress Devika wore shimmered with tiny crystals at the hem. And she wore the heels that he loved fucking her in. Her hair was tucked into a loose bun on her head and she decorated her forehead with three dark green bindis. He followed her to the starboard side of the yacht and her eyes looked startled to see him come upon her as she stared at the dark water below them.

"Hey," he said, allowing his shoulder to bump into hers.

"Hi."

"You look nice."

"Thanks," she said. Her eyes darted behind him to make sure they weren't being watched.

"I'm on my best behavior, don't trip," he said giving up a bit of space between them.

"I needed a little break from the action," she whispered, folding her hands on the railing she leaned on.

"Pepper and you have been chatty Cathy's."

Devika's eyes narrowed at the sound of Pepper's name.

"Devika, be honest with me. Did you and Tony-?"

"No."

Her tone was curt. But her eyes were soft.

"I didn't cross the line with him. Not all the way. I was…I was really young when I took this job. I was also really good at it. Tony took a shine to me, but it was just an excellent working relationship in the beginning. But shit happens. Late hours. Last-minute trips to exotic places. Billionaire crowd. Working for him is both surreal and astounding at times. The people that he has on speed dial? You would be shocked at who I have called up out of the blue for him."

She took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I had a huge crush on him and he has always been attracted to me. We've had dinners together that had nothing to do with work. There have been times when I could've allowed us to cross the line, and I didn't. Then I met my fiancé and my life changed. Pepper is in love with Tony, and she hates that he still feels something for me even though there is nothing between us."

She turned and looked at Erik.

"I had an emotional connection to Tony and I ended it for the sake of my career. My dignity too, I guess. I look at Tony as a boss and a friend. Pepper hasn't found a balance for her feelings, and we sometimes butt heads."

"Does he still want something with you?"

"I don't think so. He was happy when I first got engaged. Maybe it was a relief for him."

"Does he feel anything for Pepper?"

"I don't think so. She treats him like a child. It annoys him a lot. I think it's why he blows her off a lot. But she is good at what she does so he puts up with her scolding. What's it like for you working with her?"

Erik looked out at the water and gripped the railing with his hands.

"Annoying as fuck. But I'm used to people like her. She doesn't like that I'm not invested in the gig as much as she thinks I should be."

"If you're not invested, why do it? You should go to M.I.T."

Her words made his chest hurt.

"You don't want me around?"

"This has nothing to do with me. God, I hope you didn't take the job just to be around me."

She laughed but then stopped when his face stayed neutral.

"Erik, seriously, you took the job for your future career, right?"

"I have a lot of reasons to take it. You were part of it too."

"Oh…Erik…"

Her eyes dropped away from his.

"Devika…"

"You have to make life choices that benefit you and your dreams."

"I'm still figuring that out, but you're a big perk."

She reached out and rubbed his arm.

"You are so sweet."

"I'm not trying to be sweet, Devika. I'm tryna be your man."

The words not only shocked her, but they made him tumble back from the railing. The champagne had him loose-lipped. Too loose.

Her eyes regarded him with quiet understanding.

"So sweet," she said.

He watched her lean away from him as if she were leaving him. He grabbed for her hand and pulled her toward him.

"You heard what I said, right?" he asked.

"I did."

"You like me, right?"

"I do."

"I wanna be with you. Not just friends."

"We should slow down."

"What?"

His neck tilted to the side.

Hours earlier they had been in her bed and she had whispered crazy things in his ear that made him feel invincible and so grown up. Was she playing him for good dick?

Two weeks of sharing her home together, making him feel like they were a legit couple, and she was standing there telling him they should slow down. He tasted sour spit in his mouth and the muscles in his stomach felt tight.

"You need to focus all your energy on being the best you in your new position. Don't get caught up with me and lose track of your future."

"Caught up?"

He could barely get the words out of his throat. Her words sounded like she was patting him on his head like he was a cute puppy that she no longer wanted to play with. He felt his lower lip tremble and he stepped further away from her.

"Erik…"

"I gotta get back to Stark. I'll see you later."

He felt a little wobbly as he searched for Tony. Once he found him, he stayed by the man's side and finished the evening on his motorcycle by the pier the yacht was docked at. Instead of returning to Devika's condo, he took a room at a Hilton hotel and drank up the liquor inside the minibar.

His cell phone rang and when he checked it, Devika left several messages for him. He called her back at three in the morning after a good hour of sleep.

"Where are you?"

"A hotel. West Hollywood."

"Why?"

"Why? You told me not to get caught up—"

"Erik, you know what I meant."

"I heard what you said."

"Come back here."

"Why should I?"

"Let's talk—"

"We're talking now—"

"Get over here."

"Why?"

"I want you here. Your stuff is here."

"I'll get my stuff later."

"What I said to you earlier…I wasn't trying to be mean. I was being honest with you."

"I don't want to slow down."

He could hear an exasperated sigh in her voice.

"Erik, I'm trying to make you see what I wish someone had told me when I was younger. I'm not trying to hurt you."

"I want to be with you. We get along. You know that. Tony won't find out about us—"

"We need to talk in person—"

"It's late. I'll come over when I check out."

He hung up.

Lying on the hotel bed nude, he stared at the walls.

An hour ticked by.

"Fuck."

He jumped up and put back on his silk shirt and slacks. Throwing on his dark biker's jacket and helmet, he hopped on his motorcycle and roared out of the hotel parking lot.

The highway was quiet as the sky lightened. When he reached Devika's condo, the pink and orange morning glow made him feel easier in the chest.

She answered the door after his third knock dressed in one of his sweatshirts and nothing else.

"Let's talk," he said.

She nodded and he leaned forward to kiss her lips. Her mouth was eager to have his and they took their time with slow drawn out smooching in the doorway. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Suckling his tongue, Devika made him feel that what he needed most was for her to be in his corner. He held onto her ass cheeks to keep her pressed against him, and when she finally released his lips, he had her panting. He slipped a finger down her ass and let it rest against the cotton of her underwear. He could feel how damp she was, her slick saturating the panties. He rested his forehead on hers.

"Tell me your mine," he whispered.

She traced the fingers of her right hand across the back of his scalp sending tingles up his back. His lips touched her lips again and he looked into her eyes.

"Tell me," he demanded.

He walked into her condo with her still wrapped around him and kicked the door closed.

"I'm your man. Say it."

The bass in his voice made her eyes widen. He sent his fingers down into her panties and stroked her swollen vulva.

"Devika, say it…."

He unfastened his pants and pulled them down with his underwear.

"Devika."

Sliding her sticky panties to the side, Erik lifted her up and guided his dick inside of her. She whimpered as he fucked her standing up, her face pressed against his face, her arms laced around his neck.

The squelching sounds coming from her pussy made Erik give her hard strokes as he lifted her up and down his stiffness. She still wouldn't answer him and just gave his ears thrilling moans and yelps from the pleasure he gave her.

His calves began to strain from standing in one place and holding her weight so he spun around and jammed her up against the door. Pressing her into the solid wood, he drilled into her hard and fast, his aggression needing release. She refused to give him what he wanted and it aggravated him.

"Devika…"

"Erik!" she screamed.

Her eyes rolled back in her head and he felt her pussy contract up and down his dick. He reached up and grabbed her throat, his fingers squeezing and pushing her head back. The throbbing in his dick made his back hunch up.

"I want you!" he shouted releasing into her, his head dropping onto her chest as his legs trembled.

He groaned when he felt another sudden wave of semen spurt into her and it made him drop her down to her feet. He faced her with wrinkled clothes and semen still dripping from his tip. He kicked his feet out of his pants and Devika took his right hand and led him to her bedroom.

They made love until Erik was too exhausted to do anything more than stroke her hair as he held her in his arms.

The unspoken was made manifest.

He was going to live with her and she let be known by her loving that she belonged to him.

The world at that moment was his.

Chapter 21 HERE.

###

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[missjanjie]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered | (2/?)

Title: Signed, Sealed, Delivered Summary:   Jan is in love with her French pen pal, Nicky. Her roommate, Crystal, is in love with her best friend, Gigi. A (perhaps ill-thought out) plan emerges: give Nicky a reason to visit by inviting her to Crystal and Gigi’s wedding. With a month to pull the scheme together, no one knows how this will end up. Word Count: 2.9k (this chapter) / 5.8k (total) Relationship(s): Sportsdoll (Jan Sport/Nicky Doll), Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode Rating: T (so far)

Read on AO3

and thanks to @janssports for beta-ing~

-

Crystal had spent two days trying to figure out how to explain this new situation to Gigi. She considered testing the waters by joking about it, then thought maybe she should just rip the Band-Aid off and tell her outright. But any train of thought drove her right into a wall. And Jan wasn’t much help either.

“Maybe you could text her,” Jan had mused offhandedly. She was trying to help as much as she could – her suggestion was made while she was sitting in front of her laptop researching what actually went into planning a wedding, method acting, if you will. They were committed to this lie now, it seemed like there was no choice but to go all in.

“Text her?!” Crystal’s eyes were wide, she couldn’t possibly be serious. “I can’t just be like, ‘Hey Geege, Jan told Nicky we’re getting married lol T-T-Y-L and hope for the best.”

“Well, obviously not that, no one says T-T-Y-L anymore.”

“Jan!”

Jan sighed, spinning her desk chair around to face her. “I’m sorry, but I already have a lot of ground to cover. Telling Gigi is your job.”

Crystal threw her head back and whined. “But I don’t wanna.”

“Would you rather I do it?”

She quickly put her hands up in surrender. “No, no, I got it,” she assured. “She’s still at the studio, I’ll just… go there and tell her when she’s finished. I’ll call you if I need backup.”

“Get it done, sis.” Jan hummed before turning back to the screen, mumbling under her breath about how unreasonably expensive wedding bouquets are. “They’re flowers. Why would you pay that much for fucking flowers?”

And Crystal had hoped the walk she took from there to the studio would help her build her nerve, but she was hit with a new wave of anxiety the moment Gigi saw her.

Gigi waved her over, not straying from her work station. “I’ll be about another fifteen minutes or so, but you can just hang out if you don’t mind waiting.”

“Oh, yeah, no that’s fine,” she assured, sitting at one of the empty stations. On a normal day, she would enjoy watching Gigi at work. There was something almost magical about watching someone create art they were passionate about that Crystal found absolutely entrancing. Plus, it was Gigi – she could watch her read the phone book.

“So, what’s up with you?” Gigi asked casually, holding up two different types of lace against white fabric.

Crystal wasn’t sure what she opened her mouth to say, but she ended up blurting out, “We need to pretend to be getting married when Nicky comes here to visit Jan.”

That stopped Gigi in her tracks. She set the lace down and turned to face her friend. “I’m sorry, what?”

Crystal took a deep breath, feeling almost relieved that she had ripped the bandage off, but still worried that she wouldn’t be able to explain herself in a way that would actually get the other girl on board with this charade. “So… here’s the thing. Jan obviously really wants to see Nicky in person, but they haven’t been able to commit to a plan. So I, being the super smart person I am, suggested she tell her there’s an event coming up that she should fly out for. And… long story short that event is our wedding and now we’re along for the ride.”

Gigi blinked, taking the time to digest the information she received. “What the fuck, Crystal?” She pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Well, when’s the ‘wedding?’”

“In like, a month. Maybe two.”

With her lips still in a fine line, Gigi let out a strangled noise of frustration. “In a month or two,” she repeated, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. “You know what? Fuck it, let’s do what we have to do.”

Crystal felt a massive weight lift from her chest and she exhaled deeply. “Really?”

“I mean, I’m never gonna let you hear the end of it, but yeah. Sure. Why not?” She shrugged. Glancing over at her dress, she decided she’d done enough work for the day. “I guess we better reconvene with Jan then.”

As she pushed herself back to her feet, Crystal still felt a little lightheaded. Sure, she was thanking every possible deity that Gigi was on board with this half-baked scheme, but now she would have far fewer chances to suppress and ignore her feelings. “Yeah, she’ll definitely appreciate that.”

When they did return to the apartment, Jan was still on her laptop in her room, deeply immersed in her research. It took Crystal and Gigi getting right in front of her for her to even become aware of her presence. “Oh, hey guys,” she greeted, setting her laptop next to her on the bed before looking at Crystal. “Did you tell her?”

“Very subtle, Jan,” Crystal retorted flatly. “But yes, I told her.”

“When did you tell Nicky to come here?” Gigi asked.

Jan shrugged. “I didn’t give a specific date yet. So, you know, work that out amongst yourselves. Also, you guys should get registered at some stores. At least that way if someone stumbles upon it, you could get like… a toaster or something.”

“I do love toast,” Gigi mused. “But I wanna know just how far we’re taking this. Like, are Crystal and I gonna pretend to get married? Do we break up? Or are you gonna wait til after you get Nicky in bed with you and then tell her the truth?”

“I… haven’t actually gotten that far yet,” she admitted. “I don’t think we should stage a fake wedding, though. Because then you guys are just gonna have to keep up the act indefinitely or get a fake divorce. We’ll work it out as we keep going.”

Crystal leaned against Jan’s desk, finally coming to terms with the fact that the three of them were definitely not backing out of this, that there was no chance of just scrapping the plan and calling it a day. “So other than that, what do we need to do?”

Jan picked her laptop back up. “We need to make a couple of invitations, I figure we could just get one or two free samples, just to send one to Nicky and keep one for our own records. Crystal needs to rent or borrow a dress, and we should probably go through the motions of planning a wedding without like, going fifty thousand dollars in debt.”

“Rings!” Gigi suddenly exclaimed. “What are we gonna do about rings? That’s a pretty fucking important part of being engaged.”

Crystal and Jan looked at each other, both of them searching for an answer, but there was the slightest bit of amusement in their expressions when it became clear that Gigi was now taking this as seriously as they were. “I’m sure we could get some convincing fake ones online. It’s not like she’s a professional jewelry appraiser,” Jan suggested.

“I’m not wearing something that’ll turn my finger green,” Gigi warned with a grave deadpan. “I’ll see if my mom has anything we can borrow. She has a collection of vintage and like, random, unique jewelry. I’m sure she’ll let me temporarily poach something off of her.”

Jan arched her brow. “So you’re gonna rope her into this too? Or are you gonna give her some other excuse?”

That gave Gigi pause, and she realized she was either going to bring another person into the party or dig all of them into a deeper hole. “I should probably just tell her,” she decided, the other two girls nodding in agreement.

“I would really like to watch this conversation take place,” Crystal piped up.

“Well, why don’t you guys do that? I’ve got a call with Nicky in ten,” Jan chimed in, looking at her phone.

“Well, far be it for us to interrupt your sexy Skype session,” Gigi retorted with a soft laugh. “Come, Crystal,” she curled her finger, and the two of them left Jan to her own devices.

Jan waved them off before getting up to fix her hair and makeup in the mirror, then moved her laptop to her desk so she could look at the screen dead-on. When she saw Nicky calling, she beamed brightly as she answered it. “Well damn, what sort of runway are you dressed up for?”

Nicky laughed and looked down. Her hair was styled up in a bouffant and the normally straight locks were in gentle waves. Her makeup – which Jan knew she did herself – was immaculate beyond reproach. “Don’t jinx it, I had my friend take some headshots for my portfolio today. So, fingers crossed there are runways in the future.”

“It’s basically a given, I can just tell,” Jan grinned, her elbows propped on her desk and face in her hands. The look in her eyes was full to the brim with enamored adoration; even she was surprised that Nicky hadn’t picked up on her feelings. “And then I’ll get to say I knew you way back when.”

“Bitch please,” she scoffed. “If I ever get famous, you know I’m flying your ass out here first class. It wouldn’t be fun without my sweet Janice by my side.”

She blushed, her hands moving from her face to stroke her ponytail. Hearing Nicky call her ‘hers’ in any capacity had her heart ready to leap right out of her chest. It was times like that that made her wonder if it would’ve been that crazy for her to profess her feelings, if she was building all of this fear and anxiety over owning her feelings for nothing. It sometimes felt like a declaration of love was dancing on the tip of her tongue, threatening to slip past her lips.

But nothing was ever enough to get her over that hurdle. Her stubborn fear of rejection outweighed even common sense. So, instead, she kept it sweet and vague. “Well, you know I��ll always be there whether you like it or not.”

“I’m offended you think there’s a chance I wouldn’t.” Nicky scoffed playfully. “Anyway, what have you been up to today?”

“Oh, just… helping the girls with planning and stuff.” It was technically true, so she counted it as one less lie she was telling her. She found that the easiest thing to do was to just keep the focus off herself until she felt more confident in this charade. “It’s just boring details really. Have you been working on learning any songs lately?”

Nicky shook her head. “Actually, I was hoping to convince you to sing for me,” she cooed, batting her lashes in an over-exaggerated manner.

It was a look that Jan was an undeniable sucker for that look, and she was certain that Nicky had figured out that much. “I suppose I could do that. Any requests?”

Nicky tilted her head, taking a moment to think. “Can you do that one from Grease? The magic one?”

Jan giggled softly, knowing she meant ‘Those Magic Changes.’ The song had been buried in her repertoire for ages until she’d stumbled upon a clip of her performing it in her freshman year of college. She’d sent it to Nicky, just thinking it’d be a cute throwback of sorts, but her penpal absolutely loved it, and brought it up every time she could. She didn’t quite get it, but she was thrilled that there was something she could do that would make her so happy. “For you? Of course.”

Once Jan found the karaoke version of the song on her phone, she played it and sang along, serenading Nicky as she’d done a number of times. While it was night time in France, it was still late afternoon for her, so she wasn’t concerned about the volume. Though, even if it had been later, she probably would have risked it – it just wouldn’t be the same if she used her ‘neighbor friendly’ voice.

Nicky applauded cheerfully when Jan finished. Her eyes were bright and warm with the enthusiasm of a child who just heard their favorite bedtime story despite getting it every night. It simply never got old for her. “You’re going to have to sing me to sleep every night once we’re in the same time zone,” she mused.

“You know I will,” Jan smiled softly, her mind conjuring up the image of the two of them laying in bed together, cuddled up close after a long day. Nicky would hold her in her arms while she sang to her, then fall asleep in her embrace, knowing she would sleep soundly because she got to wake up in her arms. She already knew what she smelled like, thanks to her scented letters, and longed to be able to wake up to it lingering on her skin instead of soaked into paper, she just yearned for the day where none of her senses were deprived of the other girl.

“You’re so good to me,” she cooed.

“That’s right, now I’m going to remind you to take that makeup off.” She chuckled. “It’s like, a quarter to eleven where you are, I don’t want you falling asleep with all that on.”

Nicky snorted softly. “There it is.” She rolled her eyes fondly, then reached across her desk. “I came prepared for this,” she explained, holding up a pack of makeup wipes. And, just to assure her she was actually following through, she took a wipe out and began cleaning off her face.

Jan grinned triumphantly. “See? I knew I’d start to rub off on you sooner or later.” Of course, she was guilty of just as many bad habits, if not more. But that was beside the point as far as she was concerned. Either way, she watched until Nicky had finished cleaning off her face, and she almost found it unfair that someone could be even more flawless underneath the makeup.

“Okay, I’m going to get ready for bed before you lecture me about that too,” Nicky teased. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, bye!” She blew a kiss at the screen before they ended the call.

After the call ended, Jan closed her laptop and got up to look in the mirror. She stared at herself, silently questioning why she was like this, so hopelessly taken with someone that it clouded her judgement, that she let thoughts of her cloud both her waking thoughts and her dreams. It was as frustrating and painful as it was intoxicatingly addictive.

The only thing that pulled Jan from her train of thoughts was her phone ringing, and she nearly dropped it as she got it out from her pocket. “What’s up, Crystal? Please tell me this isn’t a crisis call.”

“No, no, everything’s fine,” Crystal quickly assured. “We’re at Gigi’s mom’s house and she invited us to stay for dinner. So I won’t be back for like… another couple hours, give or take.”

“Oh, okay, cool. I take it the ring issue was taken care of?”

Crystal beamed, admiring the ring on her finger as if Gigi had actually proposed to her with it. “Everything’s fine on that front, trust me. I have to send you a picture of this, you’re gonna die.”

Jan laughed lightly. “I’m sure I will. Go ahead, then enjoy your dinner. Tell Mama Goode I said hi.”

“Can do,” Crystal assured before hanging up, her eyes still trained on the ring. The ring itself was rose gold, the band carved with vine-like design. The diamond at the center was square-cut and surrounded by tiny, round diamonds. While just towing the line of being over-the-top, it had the sort of unique, quirky vibe that made it perfect for someone like her.

“It’s like it was made for you,” Gigi had told her when she picked it out. “It’s actually kind of spooky.” She had picked out a ring for herself as well, one that had more of an antique aesthetic that she appreciated. It was gold with diamonds embedded along the band, centering an ornately-bordered radiant-cut diamond. It wasn’t as flashy as Crystal’s, but she was drawn to the details in the ring.

When they put their left hands on the table next to each other, they noted that there weren’t any significant similarities between what they’d chosen, but both of their personalities seemed properly represented. “We should have a little hand-modeling shoot for this,” Gigi mused, figuring she could ask her mom for help with that as well. They had explained their circumstances right away, and much to their relief, Gigi’s mom had found their story to be very funny and agreed to help however they needed under the condition that she could retell the tale once everything was over with. Crystal was happy to agree to these conditions, while Gigi did so more reluctantly.

Crystal wouldn’t admit as much, but as she sat down for dinner with the Goodes, it felt all too right. Like she was just having a meal with her future wife and mother-in-law, the energy that flowed among the three of them was always so calm and natural, even-keeled and even quiet at times. It was a stark contrast from her own family dinners in both positive and negative ways. But when it came down to it, what stood out the most to her was that she felt so perfectly at home with them, she couldn’t help but wish this at least felt fake. It would be easier to bear when it was all over.

[honeymoonjin]

A/N: A drabble for the 1st Anniversary Drabble Request Exchange for the BTS Smut Club. A Taejoon x reader roommates-to-lovers smut. 4.7k. Warnings for sexually explicit content: threesome, oral (m receiving, and f receiving), mxm, fingering, butt plugs, anal (m receiving), protected sex, aftercare.

--

“Oh my god, for the last time, where is the dictionary?”

You and Tae pause your conversation to give Namjoon a slow stare. “Namjoon,” you say slowly, “surely you realize neither of us would have a clue. You’re the only young adult probably in the whole country still using a physical dictionary.”

“Yeah,” Tae attests matter-of-factly around a mouthful of pancake batter, “I didn’t come to college to read, hyung.”

Namjoon blinks once. “You- Never mind, I don’t have time to unpack that sentence. And Y/n, I don’t use the dictionary as a dictionary. That’s not why I need it.”

You narrow your eyes. “Do you have a secret drug stash in the dictionary, Namjoon?”

He sighs heavily, eyes casting towards the ceiling in annoyance. “Do I really look like the type of person to have a secret drug stash? Come on, can you guys please just put down the pancake mix for a second and help me?”

Taehyung sets down the bowl and spatula sadly. “Fine hyung, Y/n and I will help you search the entire dorm for a dictionary that you don’t even plan to use.”

Namjoon scratches under his beanie and breathes out again in relief. “Thank y-”

“And I know your secret weed stash is stuffed down the inside of the paper towel roll in the cupboard.”

“Fuck! How did you find it? It’s not like you assholes ever clean anything. Anyway, whatever, we need to find the dictionary. Remember, it’s a Collins one with a green cover. Can’t miss it.”

“Apparently you can,” you mutter petulantly, taking one last scoop from the batter with your pinky finger.

--

It takes three hours for Namjoon to admit defeat. Three hours to search a tiny dorm for a fucking dictionary. You collapse on the sofa between Namjoon and Taehyung, who are equally glum. “What’s the deal with it anyway,” you ask Namjoon. “If you really need one, let’s go down to the bookshop and get one.”

Namjoon tugs on the back of his beanie to slip it off, and your eyes can’t help but follow the way his slightly sweat-dampened hair flicks out and rests against his forehead. He tilts his head back and runs a hand through it to give it a little more volume after being flattened. “It’s not about the dictionary,” he admits, “I had carved out the inside for… for my condom stash.”

Taehyung gasps, and leans over you to pinch at Namjoon’s cheeks. “Ooh, is hyungie finally getting laid?”

Namjoon bats away his hands, knitting his eyebrows together grumpily. “That’s the problem, nobody wants to sleep with the nerd who shows up twenty minutes early to every class and sits in the front row.”

You frown, wincing slightly at the way Taehyung’s elbow digs into the soft part of your stomach as he stays leaning over you. “Joonie, that kinda seems like something that’s easily solved. I bet if you showed up to class late one day, wearing sunglasses or some shit, and sat in the back row, people would lose their fucking minds. You’d get laid for sure.”

He shakes his head slowly, in the familiar mopey mood you’d seen from him in his lowest moments. “That’s the thing, Y/n. I don’t want to show up late and sit in the back row. I like who I am, I like that I’m studious and I’m maybe a little more earnest than others here. But nobody ever gives me the time of day to even get to know me.” He huffs out some air through his nose with a frown. “It’s stupid, but I was kinda hoping if I went out with a condom in my pocket, it’d put me in the right mindset, I don’t know. It’s stupid,” he repeats bitterly.

“It’s not stupid,” Taehyung protests seriously, his normally playful demeanor sobering up. “Honestly, I spent so long looking for a relationship so that I could have sex, and then I finally realized that I just wanted casual sex. A lot of it. And I’ve never been happier.”

“Way to rub it in,” you hiss, smacking the back of his head.

Taehyung whacks you back but fixes his gaze on Namjoon again. “What I’m trying to say, is that maybe you’re not as hopeless as you think, but you’re just looking in the wrong direction. Maybe you just need to work out exactly what you’re really after, whether that’s a quick hook-up or something more, and then make an effort and go for it.”

Namjoon nods, but that gloomy frown persists. “I guess,” he allows reluctantly. “I wouldn’t even know where to start, though. How do I know what I want if I’ve never tried it, you know?”

Taehyung leans back slightly, enough to catch your gaze. There’s a question in his eyes, and you’ve spent enough late nights with him when Namjoon’s out to know what it means. You nod slightly. Taehyung pats your thigh, then gets up and walks around the back of the couch, pushing Namjoon’s head back down when he tilts it around to see what he’s doing.

“What are yo- oh,” Namjoon goes lax as Taehyung hands come down on either shoulder to massage the muscles there. “That’s nice, Tae,” he sighs, “I really needed this.”

“We can see that,” you affirm, tucking your legs up under you and turning to face Namjoon cross-legged, knees bumping into the side of his hip and thigh. “Listen, Namjoon, feel free to say no, and no hard feelings, but Taehyung and I… we have an arrangement.”

“We’re fuck buddies,” the man himself clarifies, patting Namjoon’s head cheerfully.

You hold back a grin at Taehyung’s lack of tact. “Yes, well, for us, sex is basically a fun activity. We’re comfortable with each other, we like each other, we actually live together, so it’s convenient. If you’re really so wound up about not getting any, we’d be happy to help.”

“Help,” he repeats dumbly, tensing up under Taehyung’s reassuring massage. The younger man sighs, and leans forward, letting his chin rest on the top of Namjoon’s head, and his hands slide down over his chest.

“Like Y/n said, you can say no at any time. And this can be whatever you want it to be. A one-off, a regular thing, fuck, if you really don’t want to have sex with us, we can be your wingmen. Wingpeople,” Taehyung corrects quickly, sending you a proud smile.

You laugh softly and lean forward to rest your hand on Namjoon’s knee. “You have options, Joonie. This is all up to you. You can say no now, you can say yes now. You can have time to think about it and say yes or no later.”

Taehyung tightens his grip into a hug. “We’re your friends, hyung. We just want you to be happy.”

The eldest breathes out shakily. “It’s- I- Can I please have some time to think about it? This is all a bit sudden.”

“Of course,” you say sweetly. “We’ll move on now and not say another word, okay? And you can come to us with your answer whenever you’re ready. No rush.”

Taehyung stands back up, ruffling Namjoon’s hair, then stretches languidly. You let your eyes drink in the slip of skin that appears as his shirt rides up, no longer having to avert your eyes in front of Namjoon. Once he’s finished, Taehyung sighs happily. “Alright then, who wants pancakes?”

--

It’s the week of finals that Namjoon finally gives in. After almost a month of a slightly strange dynamic in the dorm, it’s the stress of looming exams that breaks him.

Taehyung, as a benefit of being a fine arts student, has no final exams, and on the late Tuesday evening, the boy is chilling on the carpet in front of the television, painting his toenails a deep burgundy as he half-listens to the cooking show that’s playing.

You’re on clean-up duty after dinner, so you wait idly in the kitchen for the dishwasher to finish its cycle. After having an exam that afternoon, you’re still a little mentally-drained and sleepy, and so you don’t notice Namjoon approaching until he’s right in front of you.

He stops when your chests are almost but not quite touching, and you blink in surprise, craning your neck up to send him a questioning gaze. Clearly fresh out of the shower, the tops of his shoulders are pink, and his face is shiny. All he’s wearing is an old tank and some boxers. It’s his usual sleepwear this time of year, but something in his stance makes you take a second look at him, and the way the muscles in his arms jump when he rests his hands on the kitchen bench either side of you.

Your eyes jump back up to his face when he moves in closer, but instead of words, he just leans down and softly joins his lips to yours. You can see his eyes are squeezed shut before you close your own, and when you tilt your head to the side for him to access more of you, he sighs out shakily.

“Is this okay?” he whispers onto your lips, and you feel your own stretch into a smile.

Rather than responding, you give your answer by opening your mouth enough to slide your tongue across the seam of his lips. With a gentle gasp, he parts his lips for you and instinctively begins to follow your lead as you make out with him. A soft palm, one with far less callouses than Taehyung, cups your cheek, and you can feel the tremble of his fingers, so you place your hand over his and use the other to slip around the back of his neck and pull him closer.

You don’t know how long the two of you stay like that, breathing each other’s oxygen, joined always by lips, tongue, or a string of saliva. Namjoon is a good kisser naturally, though he seems more than happy to follow your lead. If this was Taehyung you were kissing, he’d be biting down and tugging on your lips by now. You had to admit that you appreciated this more intimate change of pace.

With eyes closed, sound is heightened, and the two of you jump and recoil away from each other when a sudden shout rings through the apartment.

“Hey,” Taehyung yells incredulously, “have you guys been doing that this whole time? Feel free to include me, you know.” You watch, sucking softly on your swollen bottom lip, as Taehyung bends down to blow on his toenails with a pout. He stands up and stomps over to the kitchen, waddling slightly as he tries not to smear his artistry.

Namjoon manages to get his voice back after clearing his throat, but it’s delightfully rough and low. “I hope this is okay with you two. I don’t know if what exactly I want this to be, all I know is that if I don’t get some stress-relief soon, I’m going to go insane.”

Taehyung’s pressing at Namjoon’s shoulder now, turning him and walking him back until the elder is sandwiched between Taehyung and the bench, in a role reversal of what he was like before. “It’s fine,” Taehyung assures, “in fact, it’s about fucking time.” Wordlessly, he drops to his knees and roughly starts tugging at the waist of Namjoon’s boxers.

“Wha- Taehyung,” Namjoon gasps, hands flying behind him to grip the edge of the benchtop. “Oh god, this is really happening.”

You watch with lidded eyes as Taehyung wastes no time in burying his hand down Namjoon’s shorts and lifting out the already-hard cock inside. In fact, he’s so eager that you barely get to see more than a flash of an angry red tip before the master of giving head has gone down on it, nose immediately brushing against the shower-damp skin of Namjoon’s lower abdomen.

“Fuck,” Namjoon makes out through a strained throat, staring down at the erotic sight with a mouth parted in lustful shock. He glances back up to you, a pleading look in his eyes as the younger boy begins bobbing on his cock, gurgling as he pushed past the point of gag reflex to take him all the way. Your eyes flicker down to the way the front of Taehyung’s throat bulges with every plunge. Namjoon must be big.

You take pity on the overwhelmed man, however, and lean forward to recapture his mouth, tongue slipping in to play with the tip of his. It brings a smile to your spit-slick lips when he simply leaves his lips parted, panting into your mouth, too out of his mind with pleasure to even move against you. Luckily, you’re more than happy to take the lead again, training your ear to the sound of wet choking, and lining the ministrations of your tongue with the action down below. You slip a hand around the back of Namjoon’s neck, on the tips of your toes, and you’re pressed so closely against him that Taehyung’s knuckles dig into your thigh where he’s holding onto Namjoon by the waist.

With eyes still closed in bliss, Namjoon’s head tips back willingly when you nudge at his jaw with your nose, nipping at the sensitive skin there and listening to the way his breath catches at certain spots. “Is it good?” you question in a breathless whisper, smirking against his skin when he sighs out an ‘uh-huh’ shakily.

Your enjoyment of his quivering comes to a premature end when you feel him swallow, and you pull back as he pushes Taehyung away by the forehead, the younger man wiping the drool around the bottom of his face with the back of his hand, unperturbed. “You were close, weren’t you?” he questions with a cheeky grin. “Don’t wanna come down my throat?”

Namjoon squeezes his eyes shut, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows again. “No,” he admits, “god, yes, but not now. I don’t want… I don’t want this to be over,” he makes out as he tries to catch his breath.

“It’s okay,” you coo, running a finger lightly over the wet patches you’ve left on his skin, watching him tremble underneath you, “we can do this as many times as you want, Joonie. Besides, it doesn’t have to be over just because you blow your load. Anyway, if you’re up for it, I think I’d rather not fuck in the kitchen. There are far comfier surfaces in this house.”

Namjoon nods distractedly, staring downwards with intense fixation. You follow his gaze curiously to see Taehyung lapping at the head of Namjoon’s cock coquettishly, batting his lashes. The older boy’s mouth is dangling open, dumbed by sensation. “Please,” he whispers almost silently, “I really don’t wanna come already.”

“Are you still close?” you ask wondrously. With tense shoulders, and a knitted brow, Namjoon nods tightly, hips shifting slightly underneath Taehyung’s grip. “Taehyung, off him now,” you command in an authoritative tone, holding back a grin when Taehyung sits back on his heels immediately, watching you carefully through eyelashes spiked together with unshed tears.

You wish you could stay there forever and drink in the sight. Taehyung, with his glossy, puffy lips, blinking up at you obediently, and Namjoon, shaking like a leaf as his much-needed high slips away from him. It’s a view to behold, but right now you’ve got uncomfortably damp panties and a throbbing in your core which needs to be remedied immediately. “My room,” you order, jerking your head at Tae to signal he should get up, “your bed is too tiny and Namjoon’s room’s a dump. Let’s go.”

While Taehyung jumps up and dashes happily down the short hall at your instruction, Namjoon cutely pauses to tuck himself temporarily back inside his boxer shorts before following. You take up the rear after giving them both a minute head start, pleased to see the younger boy taking the lead and undressing Namjoon, already naked himself. The two of you had a routine, you supposed one could call it, where you liked seeing Taehyung undressed and waiting, and Taehyung liked watching you undress slowly for him. A quid pro quo of sorts, and you were glad initiative had been taken to include the new party into the process.

“Alright,” you begin, lifting your shirt over your head and wiggling your pants down your legs, “what do you want to try most, Joonie? If we do this more than once, today will be the only time you get to make demands, so now’s the time.”

He shares a brief look with Taehyung, then puts his attention back on you. “I- I don’t even really know what there is to choose from,” he confesses, “can you guys just decide? I’m fine with whatever, honestly. This is amazing.”

Your face softens slightly at the compliment, but you don’t smile. “Your lucky day then, Tae-tae. What do you want to do to him?” Taehyung barely blinks, and a slow grin stretches across your face. “Or, rather, what do you want him to do to you?”

Yes. That’s it. Taehyung shudders, just slightly, shoulders pushing back a little to strengthen his stance and retain some dignity as he answers you. “I want him to fuck me.”

“Yeah?”

He nods. “I want him to fuck me while I go down on you.”

You can’t deny that the thought of it sends a pulse running through you. You take a deep breath, centering yourself. “C’mere,” you command sweetly, chest sticking forward a little to present yourself to him.

With a happy grin, Taehyung practically bounds over the short distance to you, and captures your lips briefly as he reaches behind you and deftly unsnaps the hook of your bra. As he pushes the straps down, you walk forward and force Taehyung to walk backwards until the two of you are in front of the bed. Slinging your bra off into some far corner of your room, you hop up onto the high-leveled mattress and let your hands prop you up, leaning back slightly to display your breasts like they’re on a silver platter.

You don’t miss the way Namjoon is following their every jiggle with dark eyes, but soon his vision is obscured as Taehyung utters his praise softly, bending down to wrap his lips around a stiffening nipple. The burst of wet warmth and sensation has you arching your back even further, fighting to keep your eyes open as every instinct screams at you to tip your head back and close them in bliss. “Tae,” you sigh as his tongue flicks over it and his teeth tug it to full peak. He used to be gentler with you, but that was before you informed him you liked it a little harsher, a little rougher. The feeling of his thumb and pointer finger twisting at one nipple while he sucks sharply at the other has your legs falling open wider around his thighs, trying to arch your back enough to grind your pelvis into the bed.

With your gaze trained on the fluffy mop of black hair shifting and glistening in the light as he played with your tits, you almost forget Namjoon’s presence, so used to it just being you and Tae. But he reminds you inadvertently when he goes to awkwardly lean against your bookshelf and knocks over a pile of unevenly stacked books on the top.

Tae breaks away from your chest and stares in shock, you laughing good-naturedly as the sweet, bumbling Namjoon apologizes profusely for ‘killing the mood’ and rushes to pick them all up. You hold out on arm wordlessly, and when Namjoon finally turns around and notices, he shuffles over to you nervously.

“Are you still okay with this?” you question one last time, pleased when he responds immediately with an earnest nod. “Then go into my bedside drawer and get a condom to put on, plus some lube. Wait on that side of the bed.”

While Namjoon does as he’s been told, you get Taehyung to sit on the bed, ass towards his hyung, right on the edge of the bed, and you lying on your back in front of him. “Panties,” you remind him, and he dutifully slips the lace down your legs, hooking it over the curve of your ass, and flinging it away. You let your legs fall wide open, bent at the knee, and Taehyung sucks in a breath in wonder at the excess slick that’s coating the inner tops of your thighs.

Returning, Namjoon looks up from rolling on the condom and does a double take at Taehyung’s behind. “He- wha-”

The younger male sticks his ass higher in the air, chest lowering to the mattress as he wiggles it teasingly. Although you can’t see it from in front of him, you have no doubt Namjoon is gaping like a fish at the glass butt blug that is firmly nestled inside of Taehyung.

“What?” Taehyung questions cheekily. “I wanted to be prepared.”

“Little slut,” you comment off-hand, scooting yourself down further so that your pussy lays tantalizingly in Taehyung’s immediate line of vision. “Go on then, Namjoon, take it out.”

The man’s cheeks are bright red, but his eyes are fiery with desire as he reaches between Taehyung’s legs, gently tugging at something that has very little give. A guttural, satisfied groan is half-muffled by the sheets as it comes sliding out in one sudden rush after the widest part passes his rim. A bewildered Namjoon tosses the glass plug aside uncertainly and lets his hands hover in the air.

You prop yourself up on one elbow as you use the other hand to guide Taehyung where you want him most. Moaning quietly, you keep it together and blink doelike at Namjoon. “Come on, Joonie. It’s not that difficult. Lube on Tae-tae, lube on you, then fuck him. He can take it, can’t you, Tae-tae?”

The vibration of an affirmative hum lights up the nerves in your clit and you bite your lip at the way Taehyung shakes his head back and forth on you, tongue sliding deliciously across your most sensitive areas.

You let yourself collapse back against the mattress, head almost tipping off the other side of it, as the pressure of a tongue at your opening distracts you from Namjoon cracking open the bottle of lube. The soft, giving texture of his muscle disappears to be replaced with unyielding fingers, two of them that press into you, sinking to the final knuckle. A groan of satisfaction comes out of you before you can think to hold it back, but then the fingers are stilling abruptly, and the warmth of Taehyung’s face directly between your legs disappears.

You crane your neck up to see him with his face pressed against the sheets, mouth open and brow furrowed in pleasure. Above him, Namjoon is slowly plunging into the younger boy, one strong palm holding him in place by the small of the back.

“Good?” you question briefly, not even sure who you’re talking to.

Namjoon nods and licks his lips and Taehyung lets out a garbled, wordless moan that you take as a resounding yes. Once his hips are flush against Tae’s ass and he’s buried to the hilt inside, Namjoon pauses for a moment to collect himself, stops to confirm with Taehyung that he’s ready, and finally begins thrusting.

They’re shallow and jerking, but neither man seems to mind, and once Taehyung recovers enough to plant his face between your legs again, fingering you deliciously as he slurped at your clit, every single thrust pushed Taehyung into you. You felt your tits bounce as you were caught up in the motion, and it’s no surprise when you crack your eyes open that Namjoon’s eyes are glued to them, a small streak of drool running down the corner of his mouth.

You grin at the sight, but you don’t have the energy to keep your eyes open as Taehyung cries out lowly in pleasure and redoubles his efforts on your pussy. You feel your hips lifting off the bed of their own account, and with a growl Taehyung wraps an arm around the top of your leg and tugs you back down to him, holding your wet heat firmly against his face like he’s trying to suffocate.

You can feel your thighs tremble with each desperate slam on Namjoon’s behalf, and you force yourself to wet your dry lips and address him again. “Joonie, how does he feel?”

Grunting with effort, Namjoon grips tightly onto the abundant flesh of Taehyung’s ass. “Fuck, so good,” he praises, “so tight around me, ungh, he keeps clenching, oh!”

You pant and smile, enjoying the rocking motion of each thrust that only heightens the pleasure of the doting tongue and fingers manipulating your core. “Are you close again, Joonie?”

“Nng, yeah,” he whines, starting to pair the driving thrusts with a grind every time he buried himself to the hilt. You feel Taehyung falter and let out a broken cry before continuing on doggedly, moaning nonsense into your folds. “I’m gonna come, fuck, can I come?”

As the hot coil of an impending orgasm tightens within you, you lift your legs to rest your ankles on the back of Taehyung’s shoulders, fighting the urge to grind up into him. “Come for us, Joonie,” you manage to spit out, moans breaking off into short bursts at every swipe of Taehyung’s tongue, pitch rising as you approached the edge. “Ah, yeah, I’m gonna come too.”

“T-Taehyung,” Namjoon stammers, “will you come?”

Deliriously, the younger boy nods into you, and you whine at the feeling. He takes the arm wrapped around your upper leg and brings it down his front. You’re unable to see, but you can tell with the desperate way Taehyung ruts downwards that he’s jerking himself off as he gets fucked, sucking indulgently at your clit all the while.

Taehyung’s a true multitasking Casanova in the bedroom, and it’s that last shake of his head while between your legs that sends you locking your thighs on either side of his head, body tensing up impossibly as you come with a loud cry.

Taehyung’s next, drinking you up sloppily for as long as he can, but eventually just resting his glossy, slick cheek against your inner thigh and biting down on the sensitive flesh as he comes apart. Miraculously, that leaves Namjoon lasting the longest, and it must be Taehyung clenching around him like a vice that has Namjoon holding himself buried deep inside, and grinding his pelvis into Taehyung’s ass to ride out his orgasm.

You’re panting desperately, barely aware of Namjoon waddling over to the bin, disposing of his condom with a satisfied groan and hopping on the bed beside you. You glance over at him with sleepy eyes, watching him slowly come down and return to being shy. A smattering of goosebumps rises up on the flesh of his arms and thighs, and he rubs at them nervously, curling in on himself.

Taehyung, still lying on your thigh like it’s a pillow, is sighing blissfully into the sudden quiet of the room, energy spent.

You want nothing more than to lie there, but you’re aware of the way Namjoon looks like he’s about to bolt. So, you gather the last reserves of your energy and push yourself into a sitting position. “Let’s put a movie on, or something,” you suggest, “and we can hop under the covers. It’s kinda cold in here, don’t you think?”

Namjoon nods earnestly with a grateful smile, and crawls on all fours up to the top of the bed, slipping himself under the covers, pulling them up high on his waist as he lounged back against the pillows.

You smile fondly at him. “I’ll do the sheets in the morning, but for now, I just want to chill out. Let me go pee, and I’ll be right back.”

While there is a shared bathroom in the hallway, Namjoon’s room for some reason came with an ensuite, and you always preferred it because he used nicer hand soap. It wasn’t until you were washing your hands, absentmindedly letting your eyes wander over all of his various hair and body products that you notice a flash of green. A tiny travel dictionary, Collins brand, resting atop the tissue box, half-opened to reveal a jagged cut-out vessel with two foil packets resting snugly inside. The ‘missing’ condom stash. That sly bastard.

[gastricpierrot]

Title: Heartbeat

Series: Promare

Pairing: GaloLio

Rating: T

Summary:

Lio turns himself in after the final battle, the start of a new life he must get used to.

This is a story of how Lio Fotia navigates through the days that follow, learns that support comes in more forms than he’s ever familiar with, and deals with his alarmingly developing feelings for Galo Thymos.

Also on AO3

[Prologue][Chapter 1][Chapter 2][Chapter 3][Chapter 4][Chapter 5]

[Chapter 6]

Lio’s new roommates are pretty normal upon a first impression.

Gueira and Meis are assigned to different rooms as well; perhaps it is done on purpose to encourage them to mingle around with others. At any rate, Lio’s not too bothered. As long as he’s staying with people who know how to respect boundaries and keep their mess to themselves, he’s got no complaints.

The enrollment day of fire training isn’t too eventful. They're made to sit through hours of briefings once they report in and leave their belongings in their rooms, they’re given tours across the facility. It doesn’t take long for the excited faces around Lio to slowly dim as boredom and exhaustion set in. Lio finds himself stifling some yawns of his own and suppressing a growing tinge of annoyance. The main instructor in charge of their orientation is trying too hard, speaking too loud, and being too obnoxious. There really isn’t a need to project such a forced image of toughness just to convince them that their regimen would be grueling; Lio’s sure everyone who’s signed up and passed the physical screenings are fully aware of what they’re getting themselves into.

He diligently sits through the entire program nonetheless, even making sure to take notes when necessary. Their daily schedule begins at six in the morning and ends at five in the evening. Classes are interspersed between physical training, lessons consisting of the basics and the theoretical sides of firefighting and rescue work. Trainees are allowed to eventually choose from a handful of electives as well, mainly on mission strategy, Gear piloting, and equipment maintenance. Their eligibility to choose between streams are dependent on their scores for each screening test segment.

Lio didn’t struggle too much on the written exams—those lessons during his detention did end up helping him—but he must admit to have ran into some troubles during the physical ones. He’s a bit stiffer compared to a few years back, his reaction time seems to be slightly slower than he remembers. His muscle strength and endurance seem to have improved from all the time spent doing community service, though, but Lio personally isn’t happy with how he can’t seem to pull off more explosive movements like he used to easily.  

It frustrates him, not being able to move the way he did when he’s just a little younger. It makes him wonder just how much had he depended on the Promare, and how much of his abilities then had been his own prowess.

He forces himself not to think too much about it. All he has to do is train harder if he’s that unsatisfied with his physical capabilities. He no longer has the luxury of moping around.

Lio’s enrolled into the FDPP’s academy under special circumstances, with the help of Galo and his team captain vouching for him. His expenses are covered through a grant—a scholarship of sorts. Everything he needs while training is supplied to him free of charge as long as he meets the performance standards expected of him. He's to take up extra lessons to earn his driver’s license on Sundays, the only full free day given to trainees. Lio knows he wouldn’t have the time and energy to think of unnecessary matters.

His day ends with a simple meal with his brothers at the dorm cafeteria. Gueira and Meis offer to keep him company for just a while longer, but Lio’s had enough social interaction for the day. He itches for a shower, eager to finally catch his breath and settle down to the music of a rhythm game.

Until he remembers he’s not with his usual source of music. And he still doesn’t own a phone yet.

Lio spends his entire time in the shower stall wondering how he should pass the night.

When he returns to his room later, the atmosphere there is...odd, to say the least. All three of his roommates are there, seemingly have been talking fervently among themselves when Lio enters. They stare at him intently, and he stares back, raising an eyebrow in question.

Two of them then turn away to exchange gazes among themselves, and they leave the room without another word. Lio doesn’t pay mind to any of it, stepping aside to make way. They're not the first ones who gradually recognized who he is and stared. Lio’s already ignored a dozen frowns directed at him from the older trainees and even some of the instructors. People are going to judge his decision based on his past as a Burnish, it can’t be helped. What's important that he himself maintains a clear grasp of his own goals and motivations.

“You’re the Burnish leader, Lio Fotia.”

Lio regards his remaining roommate, a boy several years younger than himself. What he senses from him isn’t the animosity he’s used to dealing with whenever someone remembers who he used to be, but rather a buzz of...excitement? Lio can no longer see where this conversation would go.

“I was,” he answers evenly, confusion growing when the boy looks at him even more starry-eyed.

“I knew it!! I thought you looked familiar when I saw you this morning!” his roommate hypes, and at this point Lio’s thought process has completely crashed. The boy then extends his hand towards him, face red. “I really!! Admire you!!”

Now this is really not within expectations.

“I’m?? Honored??” Lio hesitantly shakes, half wondering if this kid has somehow jumbled up his figures of admiration. “But can I ask, whatever for?”

His roommate retracts his hand and cradles it close, looking like he’s decided he’s never going to wash it ever again. “Um?? I just think you’re really cool!!! Fighting for your people like that!!” He then seems to abruptly notice his own intensity and grows embarrassed, averting his gaze and rubbing his nose with the joint of his finger.

“Sorry, I was still kinda young when I read about you on the news so maybe I’m still influenced by my past naivety,” he says, sullen before he perks up again. “But I still think you’re amazing, though!! Especially when you turned yourself in, my respect for you really skyrocketed when that happened!”

“It’s honestly nothing to be admired for,” Lio protests weakly, also getting sheepish as the conversation progresses. He's truly not used to receiving such genuine sentiments from strangers, much less from someone who wasn’t once Burnish themselves. “It was just something I thought I had to do.”

“It’s because you were willing to take responsibility that I’m so impressed!” His roommate insists. “You owned up even though the things you’ve done have been largely circumstantial. And that’s right after you saved the world! That must’ve taken a lot of pride and courage.”

“It really wasn’t—” Lio begins but is immediately cut off with a louder “It is!!! Incredible in my eyes!! Please at the very least accept my appreciation!!”

And what else can he do other than try not to get even more flustered and mutter a thank you? He really is too helpless in the face of people who aggressively throw praises at him like this.

“And another thing!!” The boy continues, and holy heck this kid is even more of a hurricane than Galo, Lio couldn’t help but think as he only blinks and lets himself be swept away by the flow. “How close are you to Galo Thymos??”

This, though, Lio’s expected to hear at least once while he’s here. Galo’s the super rookie of his team when he first started, the hero of Promepolis within a mere few years of being in service. With the sheer amount of merchandise Lio has stumbled upon while he wandered the streets and peeked into shops, he doesn’t doubt there’s at least one person in fire training who looks up to him. He's basically the local celebrity!

“We’re friends,” Lio answers, not one to reveal more unnecessary information that may cause troublesome misunderstandings. He figures if he mentions about being housemates with Galo for a bit the poor guy would lose his mind.

Sure enough, just knowing that they’re still in contact with each other almost sends his roommate into a fit. He makes an odd noise at the back of his throat, face growing redder with excitement.

“What kind!! Of a person is he???”

And for a moment, Lio’s stumped. It’s not a question he can answer as offhandedly as before. Galo...isn’t someone who could be summarized within a handful of words. Lio is certain that he’s yet to see many more sides of him; parts of him he may like, parts of him he may not. There’s still so much more to know, so much more to learn about.

“He’s as you see him on TV.” Lio makes his way to the bottom bunk he’d called dips on, taking a seat at the edge of his mattress. “Loud, obnoxious. Confident.”

He doesn’t notice how his tone softens as he goes on.

“He’s dumb, but not stupid. He's got an annoying habit of butting into people’s business, always trying to help even when it’s got nothing to do with him.”

He’s selfless, ambitious. He’s a nerd for his interests. He cooks well and keeps his home surprisingly tidy. He eats too much pizza for his own good. He’s too reckless for his own good.

“You seem really fond of him,” Lio’s told in the end. His roommate seems bemused, like he realized he’s accidentally stumbled upon something a bit too private. Lio ponders over his words for a moment. Well, yeah. He is fond of him. Otherwise he wouldn’t spend quite so much time with him, now would he?

“He’s been really good to me,” Lio says, hugging his elbows. “I hope to make it all up to him one day.”

“I’m sure you will!” His roommate assures, and he only smiles slightly in response.

“I’ll do my best.”

They engage in a little more small talk before Lio excuses himself, climbing on fully onto his bed and pulling the curtains shut. He lies on his side, pillow in his arms. Breathe in deeply, then out. Over and over.

He didn’t think he still remembers how to feel homesick.

xXx

The hardest part about fire training is arguably having to wake up at five in the morning to compete for the washrooms and shove breakfast down his throat within an hour.

Apart from that, though? Lio would say he’s doing pretty good. Physical training is tough, but he doesn’t think it’d kill him. He's used to physically demanding construction work, being almost constantly at it for five years. His current regimen might make use of completely different sets of muscles, but Lio’s long learnt to pace himself well and to avoid thinking of doing things like it’s a competition.

Most trainees seem to have been athletes as far as he can tell, all having the physiques one would expect to need for fire training. This also means that the younger ones in particular, are keen on showing off to one another throughout the first few days. Rivalries are declared and coarse encouragements are exchanged, and Lio can’t help marveling at how carefree youths could be, to treat job training like it’s some sort of social activity. They'll be stuck together for the next three months or so; he supposes it probably is worth building rapport among each other for the long term.

Speaking of rapport, Lio discovers the reason why his two other roommates left the room after a single look at him the night before. It turns out that they were trying to decide if Lio really is the Mad Burnish Lio, and upon finding out that he is and that the remaining guy is a huge fan, they just didn’t bother staying behind to watch him fanboy. It’s truly something Lio could never have imagined, but it’s nice to know that not every non-Burnish who recognizes him hates his guts. As insignificant as it is, it makes his chest feel just a little lighter.

Lio’s first week passes in a flurry of activities, each so new and energy-consuming that he could hardly stay upright at the end of each day. It’s almost impossible to muster enough focus to go over the textbook materials they’ll be quizzed on when he is uncomfortably aware of every muscle on his body and they are all aching. Lio has to admit that he does grow a little discouraged especially when the nightly headaches begin—until he remembers that even Galo has managed to pass the same program.

Now he definitely can’t lose. Even if it means developing a coffee addiction along with Meis and Gueira.

Sunday eventually rolls around, and Lio finishes his first driving lesson without a hitch. It’s just an online course about road rules and other such theoretical information regarding driving, held within the training facility’s computer lab over three hours. Lio’s supposed to revise the course contents over the week and pass the exam next Sunday if he wants to progress to the hands-on part of the lessons. He's not too worried about either; traffic rules seem straightforward enough to remember and he’s familiar with riding a motorcycle. He might be a little rusty after having not used his beloved Detroit for so long, but he’s confident he won’t fail. Mostly.

At any rate, that’s for future him to worry about. Present him exits the room with a slight, subconscious bounce in his steps, glad that his week is finally over. His heartbeat quickens just a little from anticipation as he heads toward the gates.

He hears the ruckus before he sees it. Galo’s standing to one side of the facility entrance, and he’s currently surrounded by a small group of excited firefighter trainees asking for autographs and training tips. He glances up just as Lio approaches, and his grin widens the moment he spots him.

“Sorry, you guys—I'll have to be going now!” he announces with an apologetic laugh. The trainees around him are fortunately understanding enough to instantly give him space, though they do give Lio strange looks when they realize he’s the one Galo’s been waiting for. The only one who speaks up is Lio’s roommate who also happens to be there, cheerfully telling him to have a great time and to be safe while he’s outside.

“Lio, you’ve made a friend!” Galo observes excitedly once they walk a bit further off to look for a place to eat. Lio wonders if it really is something that warrants that much disbelief in his voice.

“He’s my roommate,” he says, the corners of his lips curling upwards, nonetheless. “Kid’s pretty nice.”

“Look at you already going around getting along with people!!” Galo swings an arm across Lio’s shoulders in his enthusiasm. “You need to tell me everything that’s been going on while you were gone!!”

Lio’s now used to this sort of contact with him, their close proximity a comfort he realizes he misses just lately. He lets himself indulge in the moment for bit before protesting halfheartedly. “Galo, it’s hard to walk like this.”

“Right, right.” Galo withdraws his arm, and Lio bites back a wince when cold air immediately fills his absence. “Sorry, it just feels like I haven’t seen you in a while?”

“It’s only been a week,” Lio reminds him, though he can’t say he doesn’t understand. It’s only been a week, yet the sleepy mornings and quiet nights and soft “welcome home”s and “I’m home”s already feel so far gone. It feels like Lio hasn’t heard the jingle of Galo’s mobile game in forever, hasn’t humored Galo’s unpredictable energy spikes in a long while. His days have never felt quite complete ever since he left the apartment.

His days have never felt quite complete without Galo in them.

They keep up their idle chatter all the way until they find an eatery they both fancy. Lio waits until they’re seated and have made their orders before he continues sharing about the shenanigans he’s witnessed during fire training, the friendly rivalries going all around, the one time Gueira ingested so much coffee to study for a surprise quiz that he was out of it for the next day and a half. Galo’s a great listener as always, knowing well where and how to react, never shy about sharing his own anecdotes of mischief he’s seen and participated in back when he was training himself. It’s been quite a number of years since Galo attended the academy, yet so many things seem to remain unchanged. The system, the course contents, the facilities—and the trainee behaviors most of all.

Lio finds it all strangely fascinating.

“But all that aside,” Galo takes a sip of his melon soda, “I think you really are amazing, Lio.”

Lio doesn’t think he’ll ever be used to this compliment coming from Galo in particular. “What’s with that again, all of the sudden?”

“No, it’s just that it’s been on my mind for a while and—” Galo fiddles with his fingers, pausing a split second to gather his thoughts— “You’re already doing so well even though you looked so lost just a little more than a month ago! I’m just really glad that you seem to have found a goal again.”

“And who do you think helped me the most to get where I am now?” Lio places his elbow on the table and rests his chin against his palm, a lopsided smile across his lips as he gazes at Galo. “You’ll always be the most amazing one in my eyes, Galo. People look up to you, people strive to be like you. You stay true to yourself no matter what you face.”

And I’ve always thought that someone like me will never be worthy of staying by your side.

Galo frowns the moment he catches the words Lio muttered last, ready to argue when Lio speaks first.

“But I don’t want to give up,” he declares, adjusting his posture to sit a little straighter, a little prouder. “I’ll catch up to you soon enough.”

And at that, Galo grins, eyes bright. “I’ll be looking forward to that, then!”

Then as his elation fades, he seems to suddenly recall something. There’s a sly lilt to his voice when he speaks again. “Though, aren’t you being the romantic one this time, Lio?”

Lio gets the reference soon enough, and tilts his head in feigned innocence. “Why? Did it sound like a romantic confession?”

“Well, yeaaah.” Galo crosses his arms and squints, familiar enough with Lio by now to recognize certain signs indicating his verbal traps. “Kinda.”

Lio, on the other hand, isn’t nearly as bothered. “Good. I suppose it is one.”

...

“Huh?”

Lio remains calm, mostly because his brain hasn’t exactly caught up to his mouth just yet in the heat of the moment. He watches Galo’s reaction in fond amusement, heart beating just a tad faster as the words tumble out on their own, unrestrained as though freed by the realization that has finally dawned him.

“I’m in love with you, Galo.”