#and it's bc i keep wanting to add shit like this
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Tag game
*peeks from under a rock*
Hi there! It's been awhile & I've missed you all 🫶🏼 Sorry for the absence but I'm back! Hope to stick with it haha
I was tagged by the always incredible & sweetest sweetheart Evie @energievie
Name: Mayn (lol I forgot changed that so spelling fit how it's pronounced)
Age you are mentally: Early 20s
Top 3 fics that came out last year (that you can remember at this point lol):
i'm not the way i was by @sam-loves-seb this is a goddam BEAUTIFUL season 6 Rewrite!! I am living for this fic! Just an astounding & excited for more 🥰
It's from Jen's @wehangout Fast & Furious series! The additional part 2 & 3 came out last year & made me wanna melt!!! These two are freaking edging & teasing me!!! 🥵Bravo Jen! 👏
Headphones Encouraged by Ray @whatthebodygraspsnot an absolute fucking delight & so fun! 😆
Add in any authors who you read all of their things: It's gotta be Jane @captainjowl Jaclyn @crossmydna Kay @goodkwuestion Ling @lingy910y
Fave artist/band/singer/group you discovered last year (has to be new to you, not new): Gotta be Chappell Roan. I wanted her to be my top artist on spotify & get Good Luck, Babe to 1 billion before 2025. We did it besties 🙌🏻
One thing you learnt last year that you’re taking into 2025: Taking your time to figure it out is ok
Was it a good year or bad year? Pretty good at the beginning last my steam at the end tbh
Is there anything superstitious you do to try and continue that vibe or absolutely change it? I was doing manifesting rituals on New moons which was fun but I didn't keep going lol. It was like finger painting with images I was manifesting. It was quiet fun
Fave WIP you're following into this year:
Gotta be
let the bodies do the talkin' by Captain_Jowl
i'm not the way i was by sam_writes_fic
The Blackwing Prophecy by CrossmyDNA
Are you doing any January ‘get healthy’ things? I want to incorporate more body stretching throughout my days like full body stretches, wrist stretching bc I'm working on computers at work & eye stretches to help with strain.
More random questions~~ Did you consider yourself an avid reader before you found fanfic? I really did not! I loved watching TV over reading any day when I was younger! It felt like such a chore especially with my mum basically pushing it on to me so wasn't fun.
But then the TV shows finished & I wanted more! I think my sister introduced me to fanfic.net lol. Unlocked a reading monster! Wasn't until high school when my fave English teacher was like you must read a lot & I was like nah oh wait a minute?!
Do you read books as well as fanfic? Yes or No: fanfic or die
What are you doing to survive this January so far? I am currently on holidays YAAAY 🎉 I went to Korea for the first time & I LOVED ITTT!!! I need to go back asap!! Definitely a money hole ahaha! Now I'm also in Philippines with my fam 🥰
Also if you wanna go under the cut it's a pic of me in a hanbok!
Sooo I'm pretty late just gonna tag some friends that I'm sending hugs & well wished your way 🥰
@lingy910y @look-i-love-u @samantitheos @deedala @michellemisfit @suzy-queued @heymrspatel @burninface @heymrspatel @heymacy @sleepyfacetoughguy @deathclassic @kiennilove @creepkinginc @guinguin1984 @iansw0rld @mybrainismelted @gallapiech @doshiart @ian-galagher @sickness-health-all-that-shit @jrooc @gallawitchxx @gallapiech @andthatisnotfake @kiinard @sweetbee78 @spookygingerr @femboymilkovich @rereadanon @takeyourpillsbitchh @callivich
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"They were never really that close pre-death" "Dick was mean to Jason before warming up" etc etc are the worst Dick&Jason takes possible. Why would you even say that about them
#my dc posting#jason todd#dick grayson#robin#jaybin#discowing#<- bc its abt that time period#my favourite interpretation of them is well. they were the og batsiblings. the first ones to meet n develop that bond out of all of them#they went from strangers to friends to brothers in my mind. but dc is stupid and wont give me that#and fandom is dumb bc they keep pulling this shit of dick having misplaced his anger towards jason or being cold towards him and its like#why would you write that. like in my personal opinion its literally just not good??#like straight up its just a bad decision for their relationship#the point that makes jason's death so sad is that he was loved. he was happy. its what makes it a fucking tragedy#but noooo dick was horrible to jason. source? uhh trust me bro. are there any benefits or point to this being in the story? uhhhh well uh#(no no there arent)#it adds nothinggggg of value its such a bad take i hate ittt#give me jaybin & dick being brothers or give me death#n im not saying i want them to have been perfect or non complicated or anything but just. this slander wears at me ._.
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I’m going to paint you a picture of modern communication, and how it is fundamentally broken.
Let’s look at one friend. You chat pretty much everyday, and mostly talk to this person on twitter and discord, with occasional tumblr DMs. That’s three places you talk. But that’s actually not true, because you also have each other’s priv twitters and talk there as well. That’s four. Now account for, let’s say, one post reply per account per person, in addition to your DMs. That’s eight. But that’s ALSO not true, because not only do you talk in discord DMs with each other, but you’re in a friend group server as well! And you talk in those channels together! That’s nine.
This is one friend.
Now look around you. How many friends, how many mutuals are you in contact with. A few, a handful, a dozen, more? How many accounts per person do you have, how many places can you send each other posts, devolve into separate topics and conversations? How many people text you as well. Friends, family, coworkers? What do you do day to day around catching up, what IRL commitments will rip you away long enough to let the pile build again?
I can’t do it. I cannot live an actual life in the real world and balance this much interaction, it’s crushing. I reply to a friend’s post because I’m interested in the subject, I want to have a discussion! I WANT to talk about it with them, but I immediately kick myself for adding another conversation to the pile. Day by day, I ignore messages for hours on end and watch mountains pile around me, to reply en masse at the end of the night to let the cycle repeat. I wake up to six discord DMs and as I clear the third, the first replies back again.
We weren’t meant to have thirty simultaneous conversations. We weren’t. And you know in your bones that the number isn’t an exaggeration.
#hush catríona#this is essentially copy pasted from my twt last week but made a touch more coherent#iiiii spiral about this pretty regularly. i think this is the 4th or 5th time ive gone on this spiel bc its agonizing#i feel horrific guilt for ignoring messages for so long. and its absolutely voluntary. but i cant FUNCTION like this i cant DO it#i have friends where we talk Every Single Day and i LOVE them so much. so unfathomably much. but it KILLS me#hell take my roomie for example. one of my fav ppl in the world. we text- twit dm- discord dm- ig dm- reply to posts. thats five right?#i guess!!! but we also LIVE TOGETHER. i see them in real life and talk to them out loud with my voice and its still this much to add on!!!!#and i feel like nobody else talks abt this shit and it makes me feel crazy. am i the only person completely debilitated by this???#i dont want this to come across as like ‘boohoo we get it ur sooo popular’ that is NOT what this post means#i think a lot of ppl big acct or small. fandom or otherwise. talk to a dozen ppl online. and i dont get how anyone copes#this is agony. and every single time i ever make a post? its another opportunity to add to the pile#i only reply to comments on posts on twt and this is why. i cant DO it i cant keep up. i see every tag and im so grateful but i cant ever#reach out. i cant add to the pile. theyre already taller than me
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so so so glad ur art has been taking off lately... i've loved ur dol art for ages now, so it's fun to see things with a wider appeal blow up! nwn
ty for sticking with me for so long !!!! it's honestly so surreal tbh,, im just kinda doing whatever comes to mind / whatever i want to do, im glad people seem to like it :33
#idkk its kinda lowkey scary in a way a part of me wants to gatekeep my stuff#NOT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL it just feels like im kinda put under a spotlight and im expected to keep drawing the same shit and idkkk#and idkkkkkk i dont want to say its for a wider appeal its kinda giving me the vibes of calling my drawings content and idkkkkkkkkkkkkkk#like ohh you have to know who ur target audience is oh you have to stop posting that bc no one cares and like who gives a shit#if i like it then i like it#i mean its why i dont put so many main tags in my stuff i just put the general fandom tag and character tag for organization purposes#except for like... that one mouthwashing drawing i think i wanted to add the character tags but it ended up looking like i was trying to#add every single tag under the sun 😭#which isnt bad btw !!!! i think every art/writing/project etc etc deserves to be seen and tags help with that#personally i dont like doing it so much unless i put a considerate amount of effort into a drawing bc i earned it or smthn#shit most of my stuff just has my personal tags in it i really didnt expect for them to suddenly be shared around#its that whole 'fear of being percieved vs that need for validation' i have going on. it kinda annoying tbh#sorry i got so rambly in the tags i overthink a lot can u tell LMAO#franswers
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#i needed some minutes to get my thoughts together but this is a more cohesive ... thing of what i feel? idk#i feel like theres just no balance. obvs they debuted at a difficult time and it wouldve been hard to push it back bc of the members etc#its either theyre ignored (quite literally) or they get fucked over. why is there no balance between keeping their essence and also promo#like its SM's fucking fault that they didnt reach their actual potential. and it's their fault on how they handled lu/as' scandal.#if you weren't going to add him back to the group. why did you waste almost two years of their time for no reason? i just dgi. it always#makes me feel sad to see that clip of ten spoiling phantom at a kick back stage. they had their next cb planned like... idek#i feel from omy onwards when they shifted under prism. theyve had a different sound and their focus feels just on the kn audience#which is WILD. they have 127 and dream as it is. and it was a wayv song that got cn banned from being sung on national tv so... ?#sm wants cn money but no effort with their cn group. and this comeback has just pissed me off ngl. i like the songs and the aes but what#is the aim? what audience are we trying to cater to? krn? global? cn? okay. you fucked up in the past but look at what the fans are saying#what they like. phantom was their cb and it broke records. personal and otherwise. why arent we sticking to this? why arent are there no cn#bsides. and ill never forgive them for blaming wayv and kun. i really never will.#and about the sc situation. i think he can do as he pleases and im happy with whatever he picks. but the purposeful sabotaging of wayv & him#shifting the dates so he cant participate. .. SM you'll implode by my hand i promise. and then his fans coming to shit on wayv like they#personally told him not to participate. ridiculousness from both sides.#i don't think its that hard to experiment but also stay with what was liked originally. if theyre a chinese group. give them some cn songs.#to add on. i personally believe they shifted the dates bc lu/as debut was a complete money waste and they desperately needed another avenue.#egg.co
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man, depression/executive disfunction/a general dislike of wet grass/whatever the fuck else really don't jive with gardening. like I know gardening is supposed to be good for the brain bc it's outside and it's like "look! I did this work with my hands and now I can eat it!" but not when fucking squash beetles get involved!!!! bc now it's just like what is the point!! nothing I do matters bc they Won't Stop Killing My Plants!!
#//juri speaks#this is me bitching bc a) cat woke me up at 0430 trying to pry a closet door open#but b) if i want to re-diatom the squash i should get up and get dressed to go out as soon as dawn hits#but literally nothing has ever felt so futile#last year we at least had a few months before the beetles showed up#this year we havent even got a squash yet!#idk man. tfw the gardening as a way to help ur brain backfires and just adds more fuel to the fire#even the flower bed is looking like shit bc the dirt has settled unevenly and the pavers are leaning#and i am just. so fucking Tired(tm) bc i cant keep up with it#i dont have the mental fortitude no matter how much i wanna be someone that does
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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Ugh not to be like it’s been 5 years: LET IT GO.
But. It’s been FIVE YEARS. And we’ve been friends but the only thing you talk about is that conference we attended together that I can’t even remember anything but seeing bunnies on campus and that it was my first time taking a taxi alone.
I’ve moved on. I can’t remember it anymore to hold these grudges. I can’t hold onto those extra grudges that I’m not part of. I can’t remember what they did until you rehash it. (Also omg LISTING OUT NAMES?!? I don’t even remember almost half these names at all)
#shattered fragments#whining#anyway I’m not replying to a message that says ‘I hate these people’#which. I vaguely remember racism as a thing that was one of the issues which is fair but there were other things I can’t remember#bc it was FIVE YEARS AGO.#I don’t even think the conference exists anymore#like. we live in VERY DIFFERENT PROVINCES#YOU NEVER HAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN#EVER#YOU ARE SEVERAL PROVINCES AWAY FROM ALL OF THEM#PLEASE SIR COULD YOU MAYBE TALK TO idk. therapist instead. im kinda sick of this one point in EVERY single conversation we’ve ever had#and also in our text based conversations too#(ok. other than being queer and asian we have. like. nothing in common tbh).#and it feels so shitty to say but I’m only like 70% sure of their pronouns. bc it’s not in the ig and it’s been. five years.#things that make me happy#ugh.#like we could talk about food#but then it’s back to conference food and I can’t fucking remember any of it#complaining about work is an option I suppose#I just. if I want to keep rehashing the same negative shit over and over. not to the same person unless they say they’re ok with it#and honestly. it just brings me down.#I have enough stuff to worry about and regret without a conference FIVE YSARS AGO.#I REGRET ENOUGH DROM WHAT I REMEMBER AS A CHILD#I DONT NEED TO FUCKING ADD SOMETHING THAT WAS MOSTLY JUST A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR TRAVELLING ALONE FOR ME TO IT
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Mom called me a shitty roommate today bc after months of her telling me to rent a uhaul (too young to do so) and then flaking out on me whenever I asked her if we could it on x day, I gave up on trying to get my bf's heavy TV and dresser and ordered a mountable tv, instead of buying more storage totes so that I could add to the ever increasing stack of totes in our guest bedroom
#leading up to and since raine moved in i have thrown tons of shit away and so has he#we both moved from larger rooms into a smaller shared room#meanwhile my parents moved into a bigger room with a bigger closet and claimed the garage for storage space#i have several decorative items that would look cute out in the livingroom without clashing with her style#but she considers all my items ''clutter'' so i have to keep them in my room or in a tote#except all my totes are already occupied by other shit#i threw away 90% of my friends items that i was storing here in an effort to make my room tidier#(and to ensure that my items are not littered around the livingroom and kitchen)#i got a bed frame with drawers so i could store items in there#i am not a horder and neither is raine but we have to condense two peoples worth of things into one room and two closets#and like i said before we both had bigger rooms before moving to this house#my room was way larger before. even with my giant ass desk (that doesnt fit in my room) my old room#didnt look cluttered bc it had lots of open space. even tho that was a 2 bedroom apartment#and this is a 3 bedroom duplex with garage the square footage in this house was budgeted poorly#my hallway is literally a snail spiral shape so a lot of space is lost to the curvature#not to mention my parents have bought more shit than we had at the old place to fill up space that we all shared in our old apt#except i am going to mention it bc i think this is totally unfair#i get that my mom has never liked when my room is messy. she's my mom and she is going to nag#but she does not have to use my room or bathroom (she has her own. thats bigger than mine)#and i keep my bathroom clean for guests#and she has made it clear that she is unwilling to help me even when i ask and tried to plan out ways to cheaply get more furniture#raine has had tote boxes in his car since he moved in bc he knows that we dont have a place for them inside#not to mention several collectable swords (including limited edition skyrim sword and genuine damascus)#which is kind of a fucking road safety hazard since they are real blades#but he puts up with it bc he doesnt want to add to the clutter#i bought this tv and wall mount bc i know that as long as my tv is grounded to a dresser i cant rearrange my room to make more space in here#and im donating my current tv to the guest bedroom bc they wont buy one for it#they also wont buy a dresser for it which is why my mom was hounding me to rent a uhaul for raines dresser#(i cannot stress this enough. we are both TWENTY. how are we going to rent a car. we need older adult help!!!)
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I'm so fucking tired I already think the holidays are Bad why does everything around me make them Worse
#just. i just want it to stop#i just want to not feel constantly bad#im always either too tired too angry or too sad and im. struggling#i truly wish that killing myself was an option. i know it's not. it hasn't been for a while but I'm so tired i wish it was still#in the last. idk l. 3 to 4 months I've cried at least at much as I've done in the last decade i don't have energy for. a lot of stuff#i just wish things were idk if easier i just wish there were less shit to worry about#i truly wish i could just die. id just add way to many burdens and issues for others that i know i can't do that to anyone#. but i wish i just could. i don't want to deal with anything anymore#... idk it's 2 am and stuff keeps happening no matter how much i try to. just be at least a bit okay i fucking can't#I've been relapsing which like i know it's bad and doesn't help but crying didn't make me feel better either#i truly just. feel or of options at my current state of existing#and trying to find a different one. it's not host complicated. doesn't feel possible. idk#idek what I'm saying anymore#.. it's a post ill be surprised if i don't end up deleting them#it. whatever.#my posts#bc every one in a while if i feel too much like shit i check other times i felt like shit#bc what the fuck is this tag if not me being patheticly sad
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Doubling up on my cosplay efforts and making that fish scarf and shirt and also that angel's crop top armour
#looking at the armour top pieces like. what is this 😭 considering fabric glue for it bc I'll need it for the helmet too#i am. not super satisfied with how the helmet is looking rn but i know everyone hates making it so I'm trying to not let it get to me#i need to finish the skirt pieces bc they're holding 90% of my pins rn and it's making cutting the fish shirt pieces harder#honestly excited to work on seb's coat bc i wanna add a billion pockets to it and actually use them#considering making like. tiny little files to keep on me and give to ppl who chat with me bc that would be kind of cute#thinking back hard to the pouf cosplayer i met while also dressed as Pouf who had a few sheets of butterfly stickers#and gave me some that i stuck on my con badge#i still wanna do gabe's swords. augh. i have the cardboard and enough vinyl for the sheaths..#hello. welcome to another installment of shai making financially irresponsible decisions-#i do have some uhhhhhh debt i would like to get resolved bc I'm putting money towards the new car#and found out how hard my credit has been getting hit when i saw the shit tier apr on the estimated monthly payments 😭#gonna circle around comms again after the con so i can try to get a better grip on it bc i have been trying to cut it down#wanted to do it this holiday season and then. tree branch car crush extravaganza happened#did find out i can save a decent amount of money by not just getting an oven bake meal every night and actually cooking lmao#I'm losing the plot in the tags here but uh. the hilarity and mild hypocrisy is not lost on me#shai speaks
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so wait… furina is the name of the archon role that “furina” had to play
wouldn’t make more sense narrative wise to give her a name of her own?? like scara gets his own epic chapter about him ridding himself of his past and adopting a new name then proceed to ignore said name in favor of “hat guy” but the actress playing “furina” doesn’t get to be known for her own name?
like people of fontain (partly maybe) know the truth so why not let her free? let her enjoy the simple human life she so so longed for? even the other furina wouldn’t want this
#i think her story is a better use of the (give character name) mechanic that wasn’t really needed in scara’s arc imo#like yeah it’s cool and all but we literally saw him throw the actual physical manifestation of his past into the fucking void!!!#i personally think it was kind of wasted on him on top of me thinking that idea was entirely stupid to begin with and hyv keeps proving tha#no one actually refers to him as wanderer or by the name they choose online.. its just scara#thats both bad marketing and confusing burying the character away from new players#and like the amount of shit u have to go through as a new player just to name ur weird huge hat angry little dude is just..#but imagine how impactful such a mechanic would be for ‘furina’ who spent all her live acting a role she wasn’t#at the end of all that agony do u think she could endure hearing people call her by that name??#unlike scara she did that for the people every moment of those 500 years knowing that the fate of every person is mere a breakdown away#there was nothing in that for her or for a reward she thought deserved.. just suffering on her own#it just makes more sense for her to want a different name a different identity that has nothing to do with that role#and again i think that mechanic is stupid anyway but if it had to happen i’d loved it more with ‘furina’#or idk give her like a clueless friend she gets to meet that keeps calling her a different name for reasons and her liking the name or smth#maybe give her a different role she gets to play.. or have neuvillette give her a name#same with scara i think it would have been a lot better if he went by a name he choose when all his previous names were chosen for him#i dont see how the entirety of genshin writers and devs agreed to this mechanic being implemented honestly#like traveler is literally there waiting for a single soul to address them by their actual name (the one we choose) but every time it’s jus#traveler traveler.. even their most beloved companion calls them traveler#like that alone should've changed the writers minds bc such a name would 1. either not ever be used or replaced by a nickname#2. the hell devs had to go through to not allow certain phrases and names and 3. the hell both teams will suffer should they add a new char#tl;dr stupid dumb mechanic but they should still give furina a new name#genshin impact#furina#fontaine archon quest#scaramouche
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oops, got myself thinking again about byan having a little hoard of weird and random trinkets and shiny things hidden away under their bed in the same way that some cats have collections of bottle caps under furniture.
like, none of it is particularly meaningful and they don't wear any of the jewelry that's under there, but they like to pull it all out once in a while to look at and are always adding more
#there's a lot of jewelry but there's a lot of other shiny things and weirder stuff too#like there's a heart shaped rock they stole from someone in elementary and some pretty feathers they've found on the ground#but then there's also a wrapper from a cute snack they had and a bone from some random animal they found in a park#colourful buttons and cute ribbons and a trading card from a game they've never played#and probably also a pink bottle cap tbh#literally just a random collection of Stuff they like but have no use for#it's a collection they've had to rebuild a few times too#bc staff/caretakers at the group home(s) would find it all sometimes and throw away whatever looked like junk or trash#tbh it's a collection they still have and add to even after they move in w sol and start sharing a bed#and they still keep it under the bed ofc bc it's habit at this point and honestly I'm not so sure they've even told him it's there 🤔#...im rambling bc I'm kinda buzzed but like. idk I love byan and their pile of random shit#I think part of what got them started was want to actually Have Things bc they grew up not having much#and they would ABSOLUTELY get jealous of kids at school who had all kinds of belongings#who could have coherent collections and all the cool toys and shit#so they just started collecting anything that caught their eye#even if it was labels off of bottles or those cheap erasers shaped like animals or food or w/e that don't actually erase anything#and it's a habit that persisted after they started stealing basically anything they wanted/needed#and will continue to persist even once they have a job and money to buy what they want#god I kept rambling even after trying to wrap things up smh#this is the shit I'm talking about when I say I have weirdly specific and detailed thoughts about inane and unimportant aspects of byan#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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happy cryptid splatfest everyone! a little contribution to team aliens based on this song! 🛸
#splatoon#splatoon 3#splatfest#team aliens#splatoon oc#minatoast#<- begrudingly adding his name tag as he laughs at me for not being able to figure out what the fuck his actual name is. its been 4 months#lizzy does art#gif#THIS WAS SOMETHING TO WORK ON ALRIGHT. there were a lot of moving parts for this and even though its relatively simple there was a lot of-#layers to keep track of!!! but i had a lot of fun working on something animated cos its been awhile!!#i just want to have more art of my squid kid out there... he is the Best and I Love Him and Will Give Him My Everything#making the clap gif was so funny. i was like. yeah i'll do this in davinci resolve except i didnt know how to use it bc i have only edited-#one whole thing in that bc i mostly have experience in AE. but then it was too much work so i just made it in csp KGLDHLDHFFD#ANYWAYS I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD SPLATFEST. can't wait to have a losing streak and shit myself when i see comp players in the wild#will go back 2 ur regularly scheduled nonsense soon... i just had 2 get this out of my system. splatoon refuses 2 leave my brain :D#EDIT: ALSO I WANT 2 ADD THAT I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS SONG LIKE. 6 years ago thru kradness. loved his covers back in the day
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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They talk to each other like this on a daily basis (canon) (real and true)
#remember that post i made about enjoying ships where they are both just trying to out-manipulate each other? this is that but platonic#they're so fucked up and toxic i hope they kill each other and then forget why they even wanted to kill each other in the first place ❤️#pretty sure the only reason tilda still keeps fross around is bc if she tried to leave he would pull some shit like#''damn what would lis think of you if she saw you treating her only surviving family like trash... 🤨 she would not love you very much...#you'd spit on the last promise you made to her... trample over the only thing you have left of her...? you must not love HER very much...#yeah i thought so. you'll never be free. tee hee ❤️''#<- add that to reasons why aloy's existence is a threat to fross#oc: fross#oc tag#horizon oc#horizon au#deni's art#deni's stuff#oc art
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