#and it's bc i keep wanting to add shit like this
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Mysterion in Chaos Plan
Upon request I'm gonna translate my elaborations on this post on Mysterion's design in my fic :> I wish I could actually present you guys with a drawn design but i haven't had time to draw lately plus all my attempts to draw him until now haven't been satisfactory to me, but I still wanna rant about my choices.
[Anyways, first things first, IF anyone ever is tempted to draw any fanart (giggles and kicks feet uncontrollably) I want y'all to know there's no pressure to stay true to these ideas. The descriptions & details for Mysterion's getup in my fic are purely practical, because design is a visual element that isn't considered in questions of practicality and realism. If you have any ideas you like better for his design, or if you feel like any of this is hindering your creative freedom, by all means throw this in the trash and do what you want instead. I love seeing people's individual creative interpretations and I don't wanna hinder anyone's creativity.]
Anyways, with that out of the way, let's get to it.
(from chapter 2 of Chaos Plan)
I'm a SUCKER for Miles Morales' silhouette as Spiderman in the first movie, and because both Mysterion and Spiderman are both vigilante/heroes with working class roots I love to find similarities between the two of them. So I'll be referring to Miles a few times in this post >:)
I like the idea of Kenny using really old maybe counterfeit brand basketball shorts that he used to wear to sleep or something. I'm not yet settled on the specific patterns/lines that I want them to be adorned with, so just for reference you can imagine something like this:
As for colors; I like the idea that these shorts might be the brightest part of his outfit as a reference to Kenny's dumbass "underwear over pants" design in canon.
His canon design is also the main reason I don't wanna give him just normal long pants, and instead stick with the Miles-Morales-type shorts-over-thermal leggins idea.
I like to think that Kenny got thermal ski underwear (pants and undershirt) from Kyle or Stan at some point for when they went camping (bc ain't no way Kenny would go skiing), and he just forgot to return it aka they forgot to ask for it back, so that's what he uses underneath his hoodie & shorts to keep warm.
For colors, I like the idea that they're a dark color to contrast the light-colored shorts but have lines similar to these in a neon green color. Just to add a fun something
And well, then there's his hoodie. Just a regular ol' hoodie, a dark one of course to blend in better into the night (dramatic ass bitch), dark purple like Mysterion's cape in canon except he has no cape because. well. realistically, impractical. But yeah, I imagine it to look a little makeshift, which is why I have Kenny spray-paint the question mark in the front (and an unmentioned "M" on the back of his hoodie) to give it that tacky look. Again, like Miles does his Spiderman costume in the first movie.
(screenshot from chapter 6 of Chaos Plan)
As for his pouch/fanny pack; I was very inspired by the type of clothes people who do parkour wear, and that shit has to be very light for maximum mobility. A utility belt wouldn't be the best choice for hip mobility, so a fanny pack he can slap across his chest and back would be the way to go. It just needs to be big enough to store some fireworks, a gun (the one he stole from Harris lmao), cigarettes and other miscellaneous things like a lighter, lock picks, his small knife, maybe a chapstick idk he definitely should
Something like this but, again, creative freedom is welcome.
And well, then there's Kenny's gloves (crucial!! bc it's cold as balls plus he CANNOT LEAVE FINGERPRINTS ANYWHERE!!), his mask, and a bandana to hold back his hair. Here's a really old shitty sketch I did once gashagdha (yes he has long hair that he has to tie together. I haven't mentioned this in the fic because i'm an idiot)
And well, for warmth & anonymity reasons I often describe him wearing a thermal tube scarf, kinda something like what I often see in Princess Kenny fanart to cover his mouth. But I haven't yet found a way to make this look cool in combination with the mask so maybe this will only stay in written word...
As for his shoes, I'm not really attached to any specific type but I do find it significant that they look like they're being held together by hopes and prayers. Tongue, collar and lining sticking out upward as the shoelaces wrap tight around the ankle to ensure it doesn't slip. Maybe duck-taped together at the tip or something. Listen, it's hard to buy new shoes when you don't want any purchases to get traced back to your identity, okay. He's forced to raw-dog this shit and we respect that.
Anyways that's it!! someday i'm going to edit this monster fic and all these details will be much clearer from the text alone, but for now we're running on the first version of the story so bear with me. I might do a similar post for Chaos too if I don't manage to draw him first :)
#mysterion#chaos plan#sp fanfic#sp fanfiction#south park fanfiction#kenny mccormick#sp kenny#my fic#lucio yaps
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"They were never really that close pre-death" "Dick was mean to Jason before warming up" etc etc are the worst Dick&Jason takes possible. Why would you even say that about them
#my dc posting#jason todd#dick grayson#robin#jaybin#discowing#<- bc its abt that time period#my favourite interpretation of them is well. they were the og batsiblings. the first ones to meet n develop that bond out of all of them#they went from strangers to friends to brothers in my mind. but dc is stupid and wont give me that#and fandom is dumb bc they keep pulling this shit of dick having misplaced his anger towards jason or being cold towards him and its like#why would you write that. like in my personal opinion its literally just not good??#like straight up its just a bad decision for their relationship#the point that makes jason's death so sad is that he was loved. he was happy. its what makes it a fucking tragedy#but noooo dick was horrible to jason. source? uhh trust me bro. are there any benefits or point to this being in the story? uhhhh well uh#(no no there arent)#it adds nothinggggg of value its such a bad take i hate ittt#give me jaybin & dick being brothers or give me death#n im not saying i want them to have been perfect or non complicated or anything but just. this slander wears at me ._.
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I’m going to paint you a picture of modern communication, and how it is fundamentally broken.
Let’s look at one friend. You chat pretty much everyday, and mostly talk to this person on twitter and discord, with occasional tumblr DMs. That’s three places you talk. But that’s actually not true, because you also have each other’s priv twitters and talk there as well. That’s four. Now account for, let’s say, one post reply per account per person, in addition to your DMs. That’s eight. But that’s ALSO not true, because not only do you talk in discord DMs with each other, but you’re in a friend group server as well! And you talk in those channels together! That’s nine.
This is one friend.
Now look around you. How many friends, how many mutuals are you in contact with. A few, a handful, a dozen, more? How many accounts per person do you have, how many places can you send each other posts, devolve into separate topics and conversations? How many people text you as well. Friends, family, coworkers? What do you do day to day around catching up, what IRL commitments will rip you away long enough to let the pile build again?
I can’t do it. I cannot live an actual life in the real world and balance this much interaction, it’s crushing. I reply to a friend’s post because I’m interested in the subject, I want to have a discussion! I WANT to talk about it with them, but I immediately kick myself for adding another conversation to the pile. Day by day, I ignore messages for hours on end and watch mountains pile around me, to reply en masse at the end of the night to let the cycle repeat. I wake up to six discord DMs and as I clear the third, the first replies back again.
We weren’t meant to have thirty simultaneous conversations. We weren’t. And you know in your bones that the number isn’t an exaggeration.
#hush catríona#this is essentially copy pasted from my twt last week but made a touch more coherent#iiiii spiral about this pretty regularly. i think this is the 4th or 5th time ive gone on this spiel bc its agonizing#i feel horrific guilt for ignoring messages for so long. and its absolutely voluntary. but i cant FUNCTION like this i cant DO it#i have friends where we talk Every Single Day and i LOVE them so much. so unfathomably much. but it KILLS me#hell take my roomie for example. one of my fav ppl in the world. we text- twit dm- discord dm- ig dm- reply to posts. thats five right?#i guess!!! but we also LIVE TOGETHER. i see them in real life and talk to them out loud with my voice and its still this much to add on!!!!#and i feel like nobody else talks abt this shit and it makes me feel crazy. am i the only person completely debilitated by this???#i dont want this to come across as like ‘boohoo we get it ur sooo popular’ that is NOT what this post means#i think a lot of ppl big acct or small. fandom or otherwise. talk to a dozen ppl online. and i dont get how anyone copes#this is agony. and every single time i ever make a post? its another opportunity to add to the pile#i only reply to comments on posts on twt and this is why. i cant DO it i cant keep up. i see every tag and im so grateful but i cant ever#reach out. i cant add to the pile. theyre already taller than me
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so so so glad ur art has been taking off lately... i've loved ur dol art for ages now, so it's fun to see things with a wider appeal blow up! nwn
ty for sticking with me for so long !!!! it's honestly so surreal tbh,, im just kinda doing whatever comes to mind / whatever i want to do, im glad people seem to like it :33
#idkk its kinda lowkey scary in a way a part of me wants to gatekeep my stuff#NOT TO SAY IM NOT GRATEFUL it just feels like im kinda put under a spotlight and im expected to keep drawing the same shit and idkkk#and idkkkkkk i dont want to say its for a wider appeal its kinda giving me the vibes of calling my drawings content and idkkkkkkkkkkkkkk#like ohh you have to know who ur target audience is oh you have to stop posting that bc no one cares and like who gives a shit#if i like it then i like it#i mean its why i dont put so many main tags in my stuff i just put the general fandom tag and character tag for organization purposes#except for like... that one mouthwashing drawing i think i wanted to add the character tags but it ended up looking like i was trying to#add every single tag under the sun 😭#which isnt bad btw !!!! i think every art/writing/project etc etc deserves to be seen and tags help with that#personally i dont like doing it so much unless i put a considerate amount of effort into a drawing bc i earned it or smthn#shit most of my stuff just has my personal tags in it i really didnt expect for them to suddenly be shared around#its that whole 'fear of being percieved vs that need for validation' i have going on. it kinda annoying tbh#sorry i got so rambly in the tags i overthink a lot can u tell LMAO#franswers
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#i needed some minutes to get my thoughts together but this is a more cohesive ... thing of what i feel? idk#i feel like theres just no balance. obvs they debuted at a difficult time and it wouldve been hard to push it back bc of the members etc#its either theyre ignored (quite literally) or they get fucked over. why is there no balance between keeping their essence and also promo#like its SM's fucking fault that they didnt reach their actual potential. and it's their fault on how they handled lu/as' scandal.#if you weren't going to add him back to the group. why did you waste almost two years of their time for no reason? i just dgi. it always#makes me feel sad to see that clip of ten spoiling phantom at a kick back stage. they had their next cb planned like... idek#i feel from omy onwards when they shifted under prism. theyve had a different sound and their focus feels just on the kn audience#which is WILD. they have 127 and dream as it is. and it was a wayv song that got cn banned from being sung on national tv so... ?#sm wants cn money but no effort with their cn group. and this comeback has just pissed me off ngl. i like the songs and the aes but what#is the aim? what audience are we trying to cater to? krn? global? cn? okay. you fucked up in the past but look at what the fans are saying#what they like. phantom was their cb and it broke records. personal and otherwise. why arent we sticking to this? why arent are there no cn#bsides. and ill never forgive them for blaming wayv and kun. i really never will.#and about the sc situation. i think he can do as he pleases and im happy with whatever he picks. but the purposeful sabotaging of wayv & him#shifting the dates so he cant participate. .. SM you'll implode by my hand i promise. and then his fans coming to shit on wayv like they#personally told him not to participate. ridiculousness from both sides.#i don't think its that hard to experiment but also stay with what was liked originally. if theyre a chinese group. give them some cn songs.#to add on. i personally believe they shifted the dates bc lu/as debut was a complete money waste and they desperately needed another avenue.#egg.co
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man, depression/executive disfunction/a general dislike of wet grass/whatever the fuck else really don't jive with gardening. like I know gardening is supposed to be good for the brain bc it's outside and it's like "look! I did this work with my hands and now I can eat it!" but not when fucking squash beetles get involved!!!! bc now it's just like what is the point!! nothing I do matters bc they Won't Stop Killing My Plants!!
#//juri speaks#this is me bitching bc a) cat woke me up at 0430 trying to pry a closet door open#but b) if i want to re-diatom the squash i should get up and get dressed to go out as soon as dawn hits#but literally nothing has ever felt so futile#last year we at least had a few months before the beetles showed up#this year we havent even got a squash yet!#idk man. tfw the gardening as a way to help ur brain backfires and just adds more fuel to the fire#even the flower bed is looking like shit bc the dirt has settled unevenly and the pavers are leaning#and i am just. so fucking Tired(tm) bc i cant keep up with it#i dont have the mental fortitude no matter how much i wanna be someone that does
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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Mom called me a shitty roommate today bc after months of her telling me to rent a uhaul (too young to do so) and then flaking out on me whenever I asked her if we could it on x day, I gave up on trying to get my bf's heavy TV and dresser and ordered a mountable tv, instead of buying more storage totes so that I could add to the ever increasing stack of totes in our guest bedroom
#leading up to and since raine moved in i have thrown tons of shit away and so has he#we both moved from larger rooms into a smaller shared room#meanwhile my parents moved into a bigger room with a bigger closet and claimed the garage for storage space#i have several decorative items that would look cute out in the livingroom without clashing with her style#but she considers all my items ''clutter'' so i have to keep them in my room or in a tote#except all my totes are already occupied by other shit#i threw away 90% of my friends items that i was storing here in an effort to make my room tidier#(and to ensure that my items are not littered around the livingroom and kitchen)#i got a bed frame with drawers so i could store items in there#i am not a horder and neither is raine but we have to condense two peoples worth of things into one room and two closets#and like i said before we both had bigger rooms before moving to this house#my room was way larger before. even with my giant ass desk (that doesnt fit in my room) my old room#didnt look cluttered bc it had lots of open space. even tho that was a 2 bedroom apartment#and this is a 3 bedroom duplex with garage the square footage in this house was budgeted poorly#my hallway is literally a snail spiral shape so a lot of space is lost to the curvature#not to mention my parents have bought more shit than we had at the old place to fill up space that we all shared in our old apt#except i am going to mention it bc i think this is totally unfair#i get that my mom has never liked when my room is messy. she's my mom and she is going to nag#but she does not have to use my room or bathroom (she has her own. thats bigger than mine)#and i keep my bathroom clean for guests#and she has made it clear that she is unwilling to help me even when i ask and tried to plan out ways to cheaply get more furniture#raine has had tote boxes in his car since he moved in bc he knows that we dont have a place for them inside#not to mention several collectable swords (including limited edition skyrim sword and genuine damascus)#which is kind of a fucking road safety hazard since they are real blades#but he puts up with it bc he doesnt want to add to the clutter#i bought this tv and wall mount bc i know that as long as my tv is grounded to a dresser i cant rearrange my room to make more space in here#and im donating my current tv to the guest bedroom bc they wont buy one for it#they also wont buy a dresser for it which is why my mom was hounding me to rent a uhaul for raines dresser#(i cannot stress this enough. we are both TWENTY. how are we going to rent a car. we need older adult help!!!)
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Doubling up on my cosplay efforts and making that fish scarf and shirt and also that angel's crop top armour
#looking at the armour top pieces like. what is this 😭 considering fabric glue for it bc I'll need it for the helmet too#i am. not super satisfied with how the helmet is looking rn but i know everyone hates making it so I'm trying to not let it get to me#i need to finish the skirt pieces bc they're holding 90% of my pins rn and it's making cutting the fish shirt pieces harder#honestly excited to work on seb's coat bc i wanna add a billion pockets to it and actually use them#considering making like. tiny little files to keep on me and give to ppl who chat with me bc that would be kind of cute#thinking back hard to the pouf cosplayer i met while also dressed as Pouf who had a few sheets of butterfly stickers#and gave me some that i stuck on my con badge#i still wanna do gabe's swords. augh. i have the cardboard and enough vinyl for the sheaths..#hello. welcome to another installment of shai making financially irresponsible decisions-#i do have some uhhhhhh debt i would like to get resolved bc I'm putting money towards the new car#and found out how hard my credit has been getting hit when i saw the shit tier apr on the estimated monthly payments 😭#gonna circle around comms again after the con so i can try to get a better grip on it bc i have been trying to cut it down#wanted to do it this holiday season and then. tree branch car crush extravaganza happened#did find out i can save a decent amount of money by not just getting an oven bake meal every night and actually cooking lmao#I'm losing the plot in the tags here but uh. the hilarity and mild hypocrisy is not lost on me#shai speaks
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so wait… furina is the name of the archon role that “furina” had to play
wouldn’t make more sense narrative wise to give her a name of her own?? like scara gets his own epic chapter about him ridding himself of his past and adopting a new name then proceed to ignore said name in favor of “hat guy” but the actress playing “furina” doesn’t get to be known for her own name?
like people of fontain (partly maybe) know the truth so why not let her free? let her enjoy the simple human life she so so longed for? even the other furina wouldn’t want this
#i think her story is a better use of the (give character name) mechanic that wasn’t really needed in scara’s arc imo#like yeah it’s cool and all but we literally saw him throw the actual physical manifestation of his past into the fucking void!!!#i personally think it was kind of wasted on him on top of me thinking that idea was entirely stupid to begin with and hyv keeps proving tha#no one actually refers to him as wanderer or by the name they choose online.. its just scara#thats both bad marketing and confusing burying the character away from new players#and like the amount of shit u have to go through as a new player just to name ur weird huge hat angry little dude is just..#but imagine how impactful such a mechanic would be for ‘furina’ who spent all her live acting a role she wasn’t#at the end of all that agony do u think she could endure hearing people call her by that name??#unlike scara she did that for the people every moment of those 500 years knowing that the fate of every person is mere a breakdown away#there was nothing in that for her or for a reward she thought deserved.. just suffering on her own#it just makes more sense for her to want a different name a different identity that has nothing to do with that role#and again i think that mechanic is stupid anyway but if it had to happen i’d loved it more with ‘furina’#or idk give her like a clueless friend she gets to meet that keeps calling her a different name for reasons and her liking the name or smth#maybe give her a different role she gets to play.. or have neuvillette give her a name#same with scara i think it would have been a lot better if he went by a name he choose when all his previous names were chosen for him#i dont see how the entirety of genshin writers and devs agreed to this mechanic being implemented honestly#like traveler is literally there waiting for a single soul to address them by their actual name (the one we choose) but every time it’s jus#traveler traveler.. even their most beloved companion calls them traveler#like that alone should've changed the writers minds bc such a name would 1. either not ever be used or replaced by a nickname#2. the hell devs had to go through to not allow certain phrases and names and 3. the hell both teams will suffer should they add a new char#tl;dr stupid dumb mechanic but they should still give furina a new name#genshin impact#furina#fontaine archon quest#scaramouche
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oops, got myself thinking again about byan having a little hoard of weird and random trinkets and shiny things hidden away under their bed in the same way that some cats have collections of bottle caps under furniture.
like, none of it is particularly meaningful and they don't wear any of the jewelry that's under there, but they like to pull it all out once in a while to look at and are always adding more
#there's a lot of jewelry but there's a lot of other shiny things and weirder stuff too#like there's a heart shaped rock they stole from someone in elementary and some pretty feathers they've found on the ground#but then there's also a wrapper from a cute snack they had and a bone from some random animal they found in a park#colourful buttons and cute ribbons and a trading card from a game they've never played#and probably also a pink bottle cap tbh#literally just a random collection of Stuff they like but have no use for#it's a collection they've had to rebuild a few times too#bc staff/caretakers at the group home(s) would find it all sometimes and throw away whatever looked like junk or trash#tbh it's a collection they still have and add to even after they move in w sol and start sharing a bed#and they still keep it under the bed ofc bc it's habit at this point and honestly I'm not so sure they've even told him it's there 🤔#...im rambling bc I'm kinda buzzed but like. idk I love byan and their pile of random shit#I think part of what got them started was want to actually Have Things bc they grew up not having much#and they would ABSOLUTELY get jealous of kids at school who had all kinds of belongings#who could have coherent collections and all the cool toys and shit#so they just started collecting anything that caught their eye#even if it was labels off of bottles or those cheap erasers shaped like animals or food or w/e that don't actually erase anything#and it's a habit that persisted after they started stealing basically anything they wanted/needed#and will continue to persist even once they have a job and money to buy what they want#god I kept rambling even after trying to wrap things up smh#this is the shit I'm talking about when I say I have weirdly specific and detailed thoughts about inane and unimportant aspects of byan#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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happy cryptid splatfest everyone! a little contribution to team aliens based on this song! 🛸
#splatoon#splatoon 3#splatfest#team aliens#splatoon oc#minatoast#<- begrudingly adding his name tag as he laughs at me for not being able to figure out what the fuck his actual name is. its been 4 months#lizzy does art#gif#THIS WAS SOMETHING TO WORK ON ALRIGHT. there were a lot of moving parts for this and even though its relatively simple there was a lot of-#layers to keep track of!!! but i had a lot of fun working on something animated cos its been awhile!!#i just want to have more art of my squid kid out there... he is the Best and I Love Him and Will Give Him My Everything#making the clap gif was so funny. i was like. yeah i'll do this in davinci resolve except i didnt know how to use it bc i have only edited-#one whole thing in that bc i mostly have experience in AE. but then it was too much work so i just made it in csp KGLDHLDHFFD#ANYWAYS I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD SPLATFEST. can't wait to have a losing streak and shit myself when i see comp players in the wild#will go back 2 ur regularly scheduled nonsense soon... i just had 2 get this out of my system. splatoon refuses 2 leave my brain :D#EDIT: ALSO I WANT 2 ADD THAT I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS SONG LIKE. 6 years ago thru kradness. loved his covers back in the day
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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.
But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.
#speculation nation#and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it#then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day#just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them#but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else#and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself#and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao#why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc#honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year#and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this#bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.
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They talk to each other like this on a daily basis (canon) (real and true)
#remember that post i made about enjoying ships where they are both just trying to out-manipulate each other? this is that but platonic#they're so fucked up and toxic i hope they kill each other and then forget why they even wanted to kill each other in the first place ❤️#pretty sure the only reason tilda still keeps fross around is bc if she tried to leave he would pull some shit like#''damn what would lis think of you if she saw you treating her only surviving family like trash... 🤨 she would not love you very much...#you'd spit on the last promise you made to her... trample over the only thing you have left of her...? you must not love HER very much...#yeah i thought so. you'll never be free. tee hee ❤️''#<- add that to reasons why aloy's existence is a threat to fross#oc: fross#oc tag#horizon oc#horizon au#deni's art#deni's stuff#oc art
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To Do for tomorrow (in theory at least, if the spoons are there to let me manage all of it)
-One last load of laundry (that idk where im gonna put bc im outta room but. I'll figure it out)
-clean bathroom sink
-swiffer all the floors (that are safely swifferable)
-double check my room and hide any sex toys still sitting out (in my defence, my toys my room my choice where they go, but also, i think a dildo can be a nice centerpiece on a desk or shelving unit top. Ties my whole room together!)
-pause the Oh God Mum's Visiting cleaning/prepping to try and gif Tyler's part in last night's concert (I fucking*screamed* when i heard the intro to his first song and saw him run out, poor Housemate was v chill abt me losing my shit in excitement lol)
-dishes, bc that's just a thing i like doing daily now. put on music, zone out for an hour and half, come back to conscious thought to a bunch of clean dishes. what more could a man ask for (I have ideas but I'll take dishes for now)
I'm writing this out, here, so when my forgetful ass is scrolling thru things tomorrow, I'll see this and won't forget to do anything
hopefully (Tomorrow Me pls don't fuck this up)
#text post#i have no right to be tired rn but i am a bit#Housemate and i are gonna chill tonight tho so that'll help#just relaxing and dinner and maybe a bunch of Tumblr scrolling#im just. already worn out at the idea of mum and her bf being here and i KNOW i need to get out of this funk#my brain is like hmmm but what if they cancel last minute. maybe you should just not do anything and act like they won't be here#my brain does that with anything that hardcore triggers my anxiety like work and Mum lmao#immediately is like 'what if they cancel everything forever and you never have to worry abt work or money again'#and I'll be like 'thats not fkn happening let's just prep for the situation and get thru it'#and yet. the brain persists in this#Housemate is being an absolute angel too and taking us on another dispo run before mum gets here bc#between work and mum im gonna just. need to have every minute be 420 at least mildly#to make sure i don't get overwhelmed and have a meltdown that puts me in my room for a week straight#and fucks up all of this#getting wizard high is for the nights during this next week tho bc Housemate has helped me convince mum#that I dont need to see them to the hotel each night and maybe hang out thru the night with them (sweet but pls no)#so the nights I'll have to try and keep my shit together#stoned and worry rambling too much rn but god just. let me not piss her or the bf off. they're gonna lecture me on like#at least three things im p sure of. I don't want to add to that number 🙃
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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