#this year we havent even got a squash yet!

[cappurrccino]

man, depression/executive disfunction/a general dislike of wet grass/whatever the fuck else really don't jive with gardening. like I know gardening is supposed to be good for the brain bc it's outside and it's like "look! I did this work with my hands and now I can eat it!" but not when fucking squash beetles get involved!!!! bc now it's just like what is the point!! nothing I do matters bc they Won't Stop Killing My Plants!!

[dear-ao3]

welcome back. for the last time this year, it is race weekend. were in abu dhabi (part 1), the yas marina circuit. race 24 of 24. the finale of the longest season in f1 history. we’ve had seven different multi race winners, back markers on the podium, mid season retirements, community service penalties, disqualifications, black flags, race bans, crashes, rain, paddocks that smell like weed, the breaking of the monaco curse, stealing each other's taglines, first race wins, rivalries…you name it we’ve seen it. and more.

in the words of crofty: “if you havent been here all season, where have you been? you've missed an absolute thriller.”

the drivers championship, as we know, has already been squared away. but the all important battle for the constructors championship is still on. mclaren v ferrari. a tale as old as, well, time. schumacher v hakkinen. hamilton v massa. will the power of the lando and oscar friendship pull through? or will carlos and charles put aside their differences (that they may or may not have) long enough to snatch the constructors title away from them? and not only are they duking it out for the constructors, but lando and charles are also duking it out for p2 in the drivers championship. will lando hold his ground or will charles come at him with all the fury in the world and then some?

and we’ve also got alpine, haas and racing bulls fighting for p6 in the constructors, the eternal question of the red bull second seat, the v carb second seat and the all important query of Will Valtteri Score Points This Season? 

all (or at least most) will be answered tonight. 

its december 31, 2024 and i know its late but lets fucking go.

the week started off with none other than jack doohan being announced as making his debut in abu dhabi this very weekend. 

jack doohan, as we know, is the alpine reserve driver and has signed with the team for 2025. as we also know there was a rather nasty rumor circulating about him that he was going to lose his alpine seat that he hadnt even really sat in yet to one franco colapinto. alpine squashed this by announcing his driver number (7) but now that he is replacing esteban 1 race earlier than intended, there’s been some theories. 

officially the swap had something to do with esteban doing testing for haas and alpine decided that it would be better for them if jack drove the car in abu dhabi. this does of course sadly mean that he cannot wear his very cool send off helmet this weekend because he is not racing and i also think that he was not allowed to say goodbye to the team.

which is fucked up. he got an instagram post from alpine as a send off. and that was about it. 

sorry, lets rephrase this. esteban ocon has raced with alpine for the last five years. he is their only race winner under the name “alpine” (they had won races under their previous name, renault, but he is the only alpine winner) and they just said nope. fuck u actually. no race. heres a post instead.

this was esteban's reaction

and jack's reaction

and pierre even had some thoughts

but why did they do that? well. there is a theory that they are testing out jack as a driver in an f1 car before the end of the season so that they can decide whether or not they want to keep jack or take franco instead. im going to emphasize that this is a Theory and is not Confirmed. but it is still a Theory. 

alpine also took their end of season photos. and they got crashed by *checks notes* fred vasseur???

yeah, they didn't know either.

anyway. aside from that. we also had the f1 official account horrifically misspell oscars last name. and charles joined in on the fun.

worth pointing out, btw, that charles leclerc has had his name misspelled in every possible which way over the course of time. 

charles would also be doing the fp1 session with his brother arthur, who would be driving carlos’s ferrari. arthur is a test driver for ferrari or is part of the academy or something of that nature. and charles spent pretty much all of the media day session talking about how much he loves his brother and how excited he is that the two of them get to be on track at the same time together:

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and charles did whatever this was. some kind of water …. no not water sport. water activity. idk.

also having fun, or, well, maybe not actually, was valtteri bottas. poking fun at himself for still being the only driver currently driving on the grid this year to not score points.

and! speaking of drivers who didn't score points this year! logan sargeant! got signed! to a team! 

no, it was not indycar. it was the european le mans series. this could lead to a full time seat for him in the hyper car series in 2026. which is cool for him. 

also signing with hyper car was kevin magnussen. he signed with the bmw team. and there is lore here, apparently. because its racing. when isnt there weird lore. 

apparently, his new boss at bmw, a man named vincent vosse, saved him from drowning when he was 2. in a pool at vosse’s own house. according to one k mag: "He was in a suit, dressed up for some gala thing, and he jumped in the pool. Ruined his day! But hopefully I can make up for that now. The contact has always been there, l've known him always."

as we know, this race is the end of a lot of things. several people are leaving the grid after abu dhabi: kevin magnussen, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu, maybe franco colapinto, maybe checo perez. and several people are changing teams. lewis hamilton is going to ferrari, esteban ocon is going to haas, nico hulkenberg is going to stake, carlos sainz is going to williams. i think that's it. i hope that's it. it seems like silly season has been sillier than that. 

in any case, there were many goodbyes to be had. 

starting with zhou and valtteri and their helmets. 

zhou’s helmet had a picture of him and valtteri on it, along with other pictures of special moments in his career as an f1 driver

and his caption of the picture on instagram said: ‘A special helmet with full of loved moments. It’s been a pleasure Valtteri Bottas, loved every highs & lows that we've been through over the last 3 years, one last dance with Stake F1 Team, let’s enjoy it.”

valtteri bottas’s helmet said “what’s next?” on it, still teasing the little branding hes done for teasing what is next in his career. that was an awful sentence, im sorry, but i am not changing it. 

and as an aside, the stake social media admin made valtteri and zhou certificates thanking them for participating in the insane social media posts of the year

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charles did a special helmet for carlos that said “muchas gracias carlos” on it.

his instagram caption said “Special helmet for a special teammate ❤️ Thanks for these 4 years together. Let’s push to the max for that last weekend together.” and he was also clearly emotional about carlos leaving the team in his interviews

and carlos also ran a special helmet that showed his team highlights,

and he had a special race suit with the italian flag on it and smooth operator written on the leg.

and ferrari made a special poster of him for his last race.

kevin magnussen also had a helmet showing his highlights at haas. 

and he and nico also reminisced about their time as teammates

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and george did a special helmet for lewis with little cartoon pictures of them on the back and a real picture of george when he is a Child trying to get lewis’s autograph on the top with a “crazy how time flies”

george, in case you didn't know, is a massive lewis hamilton fan. so he was clearly feeling Feeling about lewis leaving the team. as evidenced not only by the helmet but also by this instagram post

and he also brought That Very Book that he was trying to get lewis to autograph in the picture to abu dhabi to get his autograph. and they did it on the fanstage.

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lewis also naturally had a send off helmet as well. 

and he also changed his profile pictures to this picture from 2013.

as that was when he joined the team. he also reposted the picture on his instagram with the caption “First year. Last year. And all the memories in between.”

lewis leaving mercedes, in case it was already obvious enough, is a Big Fucking Deal. this is the longest time a driver has ever been with a team, (11 years) and it is widely regarded as the greatest partnership between a driver and a team Ever. so mercedes was expected to go all out for this send off, right?? 

well mercedes did a lot of things for this send off. like a way lot of things. one of them was this video

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 they posted this video that was essentially a thank you to lewis, montaging moments from his career highlights with mercedes (btw, lewis won 6 world champion titles with mercedes (and lost two by less than 20 points), helped the team win 8 constructors titles, and also has 84 race wins (someone edited it together here) with mercedes, not podiums. race wins. for context, if we compare this to michael schumacher’s career, he won 5 world championship titles with ferrari, helped the team win five constructors titles, and had 72 race wins with ferrari) inter cut with video footage of small lewis and other children of color and young girls essentially talking about how lewis was a trailblazer for the sport and helped pave a path for many people. and they tag line it with. 

“every dream needs a team.” 

the dream as in lewis’s dream to essentially be an f1 driver (i think?) or to win

(going to leave here that lewis didn't start at mercedes tho, he started at mclaren. and he also won his first world title with mclaren. don't worry, we’ll get back to the every dream needs a team thing In A Bit. it is a nice video though, it highlights how hes a good sportsman and also quite literally the greatest of all time. it was generally agreed upon though that the tag line was. odd.)

they put this tagline on lewis’s car this weekend as a graphic along with the names of 150 people who won the competition to have their name on the car

also with this video was some other tributing. i wont include all of them cause there were a lot and frankly, i also have a lot to talk about. but we had some good stuff.

pretty much though, every mercedes tribute seemed to include everyone Except for one nico rosberg (yea i know this is about lewis leaving mercedes, not about nico, however, as we have seen this year, you kinda cant really talk about one without talking about the other). but anyway, pretty much all of the photo collages left nico out (as we know lewis doesnt talk about him, maybe he asked for this, maybe not, whos to say. again this is where i say i don't think they owe eachother anything im just reporting the news) until mercedes decided to post this one: 

which, in terms of photos of nico and lewis to post. that ones more on the unhinged side of things. and if you're annoyed im talking about nico rosberg, well, stay annoyed i guess cause he pops up again shortly. unfortunately, you cant really talk about one without the other, as i have said.

aside from that, we had bono, lewis’s race engineer, talk about their partnership a little and about how grateful he is for it and how much fun it has been. as he says, most engineers only have one shot at working with a champion, he has had many many years

lewis took everyone on his side of the garage on hot laps around the track

lewis himself was pretty emotional about the whole thing. which is to be expected. hes been with mercedes for twelve very long and (mostly) very successful years. again, i remind you that lewis joined merc in 2013 (which everyone thought was a terrible idea btw) and then won the drivers championship in 2014, 2015, 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020. the team won the constructors title in 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020 and 2021. that is a long time to be in a very competitive car. that's a lot of success. like, an unprecedented amount of success. 

this was a bit too long to transcribe, but he did talk a lot about what he was going to take with im as moments from the team in the press conference. (swipe to hear what he said)

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speaking about this year, he said that “its been an emotional year for me and i think ive not been at my best in the…in handling and dealing with those emotions. and i think this year, as so many of you have been here for my whole career so some of you all think you've all seen the worst of me and you've seen the best of me. and im not going to apologize for either because its..im only human and i don't always get it right. and i definitely would say this year has been one of the worst in terms of handling that from my side. which ill work on trying to be better at. but i hope the good and the highs far outweigh the negatives in how ive handled it or behaved and…and as i said i just remember the good times” 

after taking the team photo for the last time he said that “its hard to believe that was our last team photo together. weve had twelve amazing years together. and its hard to believe that that's our last photo that we’re going to take as a whole team, as a group. and its such an honor and a privilege i thik to look back when im sitting on the car, i look back and see everyones face, everyone that's been so hugely influential with the success that we’ve had over the years. had my back and supported me and hopefully vice versa, which is a really proud moment. that's pretty cool. its something that ill definitely cherish. i think the first and the last will be the two that i cherish the most.”

and not really a tribute. but speaking of the team photo, toto wolff was seen wearing not only a short sleeve shirt, but also doing a peace sign

so that was basically lewis’s side of the garage. lots of emotions and feelings and paying tribute and etc etc etc. 

so what was going on in george’s side of the garage?

complete and absolute chaos.

if you’ll remember. in qatar max essentially, for lack of better words, called george a two faced bitch because of george supposedly arguing with the fia to get max a 1 place grid penalty for going too slowly in qualifying. max got said penalty and was demoted from pole to second while george started on pole. i need to remind you all that 1. max had already won the world championship and 2. george was not even remotely in contention for the world championship and also mercedes and red bull are hardly rivals this season

if you’ll also remember, george did not say anything about said incident. mostly because max talked about it predominantly in the press conference which im pretty sure happens After all the media interviews? tho i could be wrong about that. regardless george didn't talk about it. 

until he decided to come out full guns blazing in abu dhabi. 

because this is formula 1. you really thought we were going to have a normal end to our incredibly insane season????

so. first. lets get a little refresher on what max actually said about the penalty situation after qatar *insert rewind noise here*

about the penalty, max said “I think I really spoke about valid reasons of what happened. And it was clear cut that around me there were different scenarios going on as well, with people having colder tyres and stuff so they had to push anyway, and I didn’t want to then cause a scene into a last corner, and then no one had a lap. So very, very surprising. i think we all here, we respect eachother a lot. and of course ive been in that meeting room many times in my life [with the stewards] and my career with people, you know, ive raced. and i’ve never seen someone trying to screw someone over that hard, and then for me i lost all the respect.

he also gestured towards charles when he talked about drivers that he respects, and charles was nearly giggling the whole time like he had tea we all didn't

and he also said, “actually, I just tried to be nice. So maybe I shouldn’t be nice. But the thing is that well, being nice, because at the end of the season, everything is more or less decided, for me especially, I didn’t want to screw anyone over to prepare their lap. And by doing that, being nice, basically you get a penalty. And that’s what I tried to explain as well. But I just felt like I was talking to a brick wall. So there’s not much that was possible, for whatever reason.” (which sounds hilariously like charles’s vegas radio but i digress)

later, max was asked if he was going to try and talk with george about the penalty and the incident with the stewards. 

here’s what he had to say about that. 

“not right now, but you know what it is? he always acts extremely polite in front of the cameras but if you sit together with him personally, he's a completely different person. i truly can't stand that. then you might as well fuck off, i don’t want anything to do with you.”

max was also backed up by christian horner, who said about george that “yesterday's penalty was more based on hysterics from George, who has been quite hysterical this weekend. There was a little bit of gamesmanship going on in that.”

(yes i did just copy and paste that from the qatar post. sue me i want to be done writing this) 

anyway, you’ll also remember (maybe) the article that i quoted talking about the penalty. *cue a second rewind noise*

it appeared that all of the drivers had been informed after sprint qualifying that any going slowly would be taken seriously, after yuki received a warning for just that. and one article reported that:

“at the bottom of their decision Warwick and his fellow stewards made a very important comment: ‘The stewards advise all competitors that particular attention will be paid to adherence to the event notes in the qualifying session and that any potentially dangerous behaviour or impeding may result in the application of grid penalties.’”

in addition, it was also reported by a journalist that the new race director does not take impeding lightly. 

“He [the race director] stated that if a car was going slow in a high-speed corner, it should not be on the racing line. The stewards regard this case as a complicated one in that clearly car 1 did not comply with the race director’s event notes and clearly was driving, in our determination, unnecessarily slowly considering the circumstances. It was obvious the driver of car 1 was attempting to cool his tyres. He also could see car 63 approaching as he looked in his mirror multiple times whilst on the small straight between Turns 11 and 12. They also made it clear that they had opted for a lesser penalty than they could have. Unusually, this incident occurred when neither car was on a push lap. Had car 63 been on a push lap, the penalty would have most likely been the usual three grid position penalty, however in mitigation of penalty, it was obvious that the driver of car 63 had clear visibility of Car 1 and that neither car was on a push lap.”

however. someone combed back through all going slowly/failing to follow race directors instructions infringements back to 2022 and found that max is the only one to have ever been given a grid penalty or penalty point for it. when looking at that stat though, keep in mind that theres different race directors making different decisions, the widely claimed “british bias” that the stewards have towards certain british drivers (which george btw doesnt seem to be included in) and also mitigating circumstances, not everything in this sport is clear cut. 

and finally, george had some comments about the whole ordeal, but not too many. which i speculated was because he didn't know exactly what max had said until After it had already been said which Likely would have been after george was done with his interviews. so he had relatively normal things to say:

*cue a third and hopefully final rewind noise*

“Yeah, to be honest, I was expecting a crash. But ultimately we [george and lewis] made it easy for him, because both Lewis and I made terrible starts. So it was a pretty simple overtake for him, which was a bit frustrating for us.”

he did say though that his concerns about a crash were not related to max’s comments. 

“We know Max is a fighter and is aggressive. I expect no different. I really wanted to go out there and fight with him today, like we could have done in the sprint.”

now. something i mentioned but somehow forgot to properly include in the last update was a brief clip from ted kravitz’s bit that he does at the end of the weekend called teds notebook where he goes over important stuff, gives opinions blah blah etc. anyway. i had referenced that one journalist heard that george and max had had words of some sort outside the stewards room, but not much beyond that. 

ted’s notebook from qatar went a little beyond that:

important to take away from this was that before the drivers parade in qatar there was some kind of Incident between max and george where max some something akin to “you and your fia mates, i hope you're happy with what you’ve done.” though apparently, also according to ted, it was “far ruder than that.” 

so. we were gearing up for Something. and Everyone was Wondering if Something was Going To Happen in abu dhabi. 

the f1 fans (or at least some of them) spent the week between qatar and abu dhabi speculating and there were takes in every which direction about who said what and how and when and whether or not max was telling the truth and ugh this is why no one likes george and blah blah blah (idk i avoided most of it)

and max was asked his opinion on the whole thing again at the press conference on media day. george had still yet to say anything and he was not at the press conference (its random who gets chosen week to week). but we did get max saying this about this comments last week (you know, the two faced comments):

"No regrets at all [about what he said about george], because I meant everything I said. And it is still the same, if I had to do it again maybe I would have said even more, knowing the outcome of the race itself. I still can't believe that someone can be like that in the stewards' room - to me, that is so unacceptable. We're all racing drivers and we all have a lot of respect for each other, we even play sports together, we travel together. Of course you have moments where you come together, crash or whatever and you're not happy. But in my whole career I've never experienced what I experienced in the stewards' room in Qatar and, for me, that was really unacceptable."

so max was not budging. and we were all waiting on george’s side of the story. and boy, did he deliver. 

before we get into this. a reminder to everyone that george doesnt usually get involved in stuff like this. he doesnt have many controversies, the most controversial thing in his career is probably that time in imola in 2021 where he smacked bottas on the helmet after the two of them were in a pretty big crash and battling eachother for a seat at mercedes.

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but he was effectively bullied off the internet several years ago for death threats (i think around the mercedes seat controversies, unsure exactly when, im not up to snuff on my george lore sorry) over something or other and now gets all his memes and the like from alex albon. and yeah he does weird pr stuff, but he doesnt really get involved in controversies. and hes also not all that popular as a driver. he mostly gets memed and also made fun of. 

he’s also, im going to remind everyone, the gpda president. and the gpda, in case you need reminding, as of vegas, (a mere two/three weeks before the incident) were trying to get max to not get penalized for the swearing in the press conference (among other things).

there were i think several interviews that he gave about the whole thing, all on media say (pretty sure it was media day) and theyll all rather long, (if you want to watch the whole full ones, im pretty sure there were multiple but this is a good one here) but this one has pretty much a good summary of everything he said

which is a lot to unpack. 

george came with receipts. 

so lets break this down a little. 

george says “we’re all fighting on track and its never personal.” 

objectively true. other drivers have talked about this before. most of the time battles on track do not translate to battles off track (with some exceptions. you know. nico and lewis. im looking at you two. also prost and senna. the difference here being that they were both insane actual title rivals and max has won four championships and george arrived at mercedes in the middle of their shit arc and has never been in contention for a champion title.) even after….oh god what was that race….austria? where max and lando slammed into each other while battling for first and while they were kinda pissed max was like all that matters is repairing my relationship with lando blah blah blah (max and lando are seemingly more friendly than george and max but that is not the point here)

anyway, george’s argument was that max made their on track battle personal. which is a big no no (according to george) (as i said up top we had people make on track battles personal all the time. see quite literally the most famous example in recent history: nico rosberg and sir lewis hamilton)

george also famously said “someone needs to stand up to a bully like this” because “so far people have let him [max] get away with murder.” 

people online really really went off with that. and let me put my english major hat on here for a second to say that Getting Away With Murder Is An Expression an expression meaning, loosely, “get away with anything.” so no, george is not saying that max killed anyone. 

george defended himself against what max said in the press conference about how hes “never had someone try that hard to get me a penalty” and george maintained that max was going too slow on the racing line and they all have rules to follow. (true, but again to devils advocate george, remember that max is the only one to ever have gotten penalties in this context for going to slow. but then to that also also remember that the stewards said that they were going to crack down on anyone going to slow after yuki went too slow in practice.) 

he also said in a different interview that "It's funny because even before I said a word in the stewards, he was swearing at the stewards. He was so angry, before I'd even spoken. And at the end of the day, there's nothing to lie about.”

then, he of course hits us with some new information, saying that “i find his comments pretty ironic, when he comes out and says ‘im going to purposefully crash into you, im going to put you on your fucking head in the wall.’ for me, that isnt acceptable. and hes gone beyond the line here, and im not going to accept it.” 

now, in case you've been keeping track, this is far different than george’s attitude about the whole thing in qatar. george is claiming that max said this to him after the stewards room. which would have been saturday night before the race. and, if you will recall, here is what george said on sunday in qatar about the max incident during qualifying: *yet another rewind noise*

“Yeah, to be honest, I was expecting a crash [during the race]. But ultimately we [george and lewis] made it easy for him [max], because both Lewis and I made terrible starts. So it was a pretty simple overtake for him, which was a bit frustrating for us.”

when asked if this [the likeness of a crash] was because of comments that max had made to him, george apparently “didn't bite” according to one journalist and instead said that “We know Max is a fighter and is aggressive. I expect no different. I really wanted to go out there and fight with him today, like we could have done in the sprint.”

so. little confusing. because if max had said all of this on saturday then why didn't it come up in interviews on sunday? 

the same journalist had a theory: “In other words [george] had a chance then [in qatar] to reveal just what Verstappen had said to him [putting him in the wall], and in effect drop him in it, but he chose not to. He's only done so today [in abu dhabi] because of Max's ongoing criticism.”

and george did kind back that theory up. he likely elected to ignore the whole thing and chalk it up to heated emotions in the stewards room and only brought it up once he realized that max was publicly tearing into george’s character. and george said this himself, that he had “no intentions of bringing this up. he said this to me saturday night and i woke up sunday morning feeling fine. but to come out of those press interviews (the post race in qatar ones) saying that i’m two faced, that im a f word and this and that, hes taking this personal. what happens on track is professional, what happens in the stewards is professional.” 

so again, george’s main argument here is that max made a race related argument personal, when in george’s mind that is just a fact of racing that stuff like this happens. 

also, as many people pointed out, if max did actually say this, (as in threaten to crash into george and put him in the wall) then in nascar that would get you a race ban. and while those same rules don't exist in f1, it is still a very serious threat in some kinds of motorsport. 

now, here george also brings up new and interesting lore, saying that “like carlos said to him on sunday morning ‘you would have done the exact same thing.’” and then he cites max getting lando a penalty for not lifting in the yellow flags and blah blah but the real interesting bit here is about carlos. 

remember those pictures from before the drivers parade? and remember that ted said something happened before the drivers parade in qatar?? well! 

george said (i think in a different interview than the one that i linked) this: 

"And I almost joked with him [max] at the drivers' parade about this with Carlos [Sainz] and Checo [Sergio Perez]. I came around, put my arm around him [max] and laughed, 'How are you doing today?' and I said to Carlos jokingly, 'Listen to what this guy said to me yesterday' [the im going to put you on your fucking head line] But I could see it in his eyes that he meant it [the line about you and your fia mates that ted quoted]."

so. this explains then this lovely set of photos:

there were a lot of people online citing these photos as justification that george is a two faced bitch because Why would he have been that nice to max right after max had told him that?? but it seems now that george literally intended to never bring this up and then max went and ranted to hell and back to the press about it so he had pretty much no choice but to bring it up and the timing of everything made him look bad. 

george was asked about the thing max said about his “fia mates” and george was confused about that as well, going into detail about the lap times that you have to follow on the out lap. “he [max] was in breach of that, and i was following it to the letter of the law, i wasn't trying to get him a penalty, but that's just how things transpired.” 

as some people pointed out, i don't think george was on a flying lap when max was going to slowly, he might have been, im not sure, i don't remember and im not going back to look. but there was debate over this.

george also said that max “cannot deal with adversity. whenever anything is not going his way he lashes out with unnecessary anger and borderline violence. weve seen it in brazil in the past with ocon, we saw it in 21 with lewis, and then mexico with lando, first race of the year in budapest when he didn't have the most dominant car, crashes into lewis, slamming his whole team. that is not a guy who i respect.” 

in a second interview george also referenced this batch of receipts he brought up, saying that “I don't know why this topic has got him so angry. And like I said to you before, he cannot deal with adversity. He's had the most dominant car in recent history for two and a half years. I'm not questioning his driving abilities one single bit, but the second he does not have the fastest car - let's take Budapest as an example, he crashes into Lewis. He slams his whole team and he loses the plot. Straight away after that race, 25 percent of his engineering team were sending their CVs to Mercedes, to McLaren, to Aston Martin because they said they can't deal with a guy like that. And since Austria, he's won the same number of races as six other drivers. So when you say, is Max beatable? Of course he's beatable."

and this is quite the array of receipts that george brought up here. 

ocon and max in brazil was from like. 2018. when esteban, a lapped car in the race, crashed into max who was leading, and cost him the win. max pushed him in the garage after.

i think the incident hes referring to with lewis was in monza 2021 where he and lewis crashed after one of lewis’s pit stops and max ended up driving over the top of lewis’s car, at one point his tire was on lewis’s helmet. both of them were fine, but it was rather insane

mexico with lando is obviously earlier this year when max got hit with the 20 second penalty after driving, as lando put it, dangerously, while the two of them were battling. george also previously said that max’s racing in mexico was “hard but fair” and now seems to have rolled back that comment since he put it in the same boat as other Controversial and Insane Max Moments.

and budapest was also this year, this was the race where max was really going at it on the radio and once again flew over lewis’s car, then tried to blame it on lewis and was told by his team over the radio that he was being “childish” and that they were “not going to get into a radio fight with the other teams”

id also like to point out, that all of these incidents, while famous racing incidents, happened, they are also all resolved. monza and brazil do get brought up decently enough, but even esteban said this year about brazil 2018 that "Everyone thinks we [him and max] hate each other [because of brazil 2018], but that's not the case. I like that he races really hard. It's very straightforward. It's just who crosses the line first. With Max, there is no bullshit.”

and also. while im devils advocating myself here, there have been plenty of other world champions in recent history who have been pretty vicious on and off track. lewis hamilton is kind of the exception to this, he is a pretty clean racer and doesnt really make things personal (not after 2016 at least and definitely not unless its with nico rosberg but im absolutely not getting into that here)

however, for your perusal i bring up once again incidents like:

-sebastian vettel and mark webber, malaysia 2013, the infamous multi 21 incident where sebastian vettel over took mark webber for the lead when he was explicitly told not to and was kind of a jerk about it.

-spa 1998 where michael schumacher almost decked david coulthard in the pitlane because he thought that he had tried to kill him and also thought that it was a plot by mclaren to fix the race to benefit his rival mika hakkinen.

-japan 2005 when fernando alonso was trying to help renault win the constructors title (he had already won the drivers championship at the previous race) (he had also qualified 16th) and was effectively bullying michael schumacher (driving for ferrari at the time and already a 7x world title winner) trying to pass him earlier on in the race. eventually, michael kinda let him by (michael himself was also a very hard racer, and fernando was pretty young at the time) and after the race fernando famously said: “I knew he would hit the brakes because he has a wife and two kids at home” 

these are all drivers, by the way, that max has been compared to. 

george, in a different interview, compared max to lewis, saying that "He's [max] a four-time world champion. When I compare his actions to the ones of Lewis [Hamilton], Lewis is the sort of world champion who I aspire to be like. The way he fought Max in '21 was hard, very hard. It's fair, but never beyond the line.”

now again, as i said, this is mostly true. lewis is generally regarded as a pretty good sportsman and a clean racer. but that is if you omit the years 2014-2016 where he was tied up in a raging title fight with one nico rosberg that culminated in the end of their friendship (after knowing each other since they were children), nico’s retirement after his one and only championship win in 2016, and lewis’s absolute refusal to ever talk about him. 

though, i will say, even though nico and lewis are their own absolute disaster that really cant be compared to max because of their whole history and everything, there was the famous post monaco interview in 2014 (after a very intense race that nico eventually won where nico had been accused of crashing purposefully in qualifying and preventing lewis from trying to take pole from him) where lewis told the press about nico that “well we’re not friends. we’re colleagues.” (admittedly, the press was really harping on him about this and he later tweeted that they were friends, but i couldn't talk about Not Making Things Personal and not bring this up so) just goes to show you that even the most composed drivers and champions have their moments. its a hard sport, obviously things get tense sometimes. 

as for the part about red bull engineers wanting to leave red bull. not sure how true that is entirely, but we do know that adrian newey went to aston and jonathan wheatley is going to stake and they were a large part of red bull great ness. (unclear if this was in any way related to max though, newey’s departure seemed to be more related to the horner allegations (yeah that was also this year. its been a long season)). 

in Yet Another interview, george said that "They're [red bull] doing their utmost to get Horner out of Red Bull,” along with then continuing to repeat that the red bull mechanics were applying to other teams. i seem to remember someone, maybe zak brown, maybe toto wolff, saying something like this earlier in the year. but it is kind of unclear how george himself would have known that fact Specifically given that he is a mercedes driver and not a mclaren or aston driver.

and horner said. something. about this specifically. that i cant find. but it was something about how george shouldn't comment on other teams inter workings because its not his business. which is kinda fair, george knows what's happening at mercedes, not what's happening at any other team because hes only on one team. he might know the rumors and the gossip and all that, but he definitely doesnt know the ins and the outs, just like anyone else doesnt. 

max later had this to say about george’s comment about people leaving red bull though: 

"it is also very difficult for them, when you see that we have taken a lot of people away from mercedes for our engine program. then frustration comes out. we have the last laugh, because we won the race last week. they start on pole position because of that nitpicking with the stewards, but 300 meters he was already behind. everything he brings up has nothing to do with it. i was very relaxed with the stewards, i had already won the championship. but he had to be so dramatic to start first."

toto wolff also talked about horner. because of course he did. 

and remember these guys have a history too. we all remember the great “i have it printed out” incident in 2022 during the meeting about the porpoising.

anyway, toto said this about horner (who remember also had some choice words for george last week, calling him essentially overly emotional) "Why does he feel entitled to comment about my driver?...Yapping little terrier - always something to say."

horner was definitely not impressed by that comment At All. (surprise surprise) he said this: “I love terriers! I think they’re great dogs. I’ve had four of them, I’ve had a couple of Airedales, they’re the king of the terriers. I had a couple of West Highland terriers called Bernie and Flavio. The thing about terriers, they’re tremendously loyal. To be called a terrier, is that such a bad thing? They’re not afraid of having a go at the bigger dogs – I’d rather be a terrier than a wolf maybe.”

he also posted this on his instagram story after toto made that remark, which is a picture of his own terrier.

but anyway. back to george. because yes, he still somehow wasn't done dunking on max. 

one of his other arguments here was about how max should be a better role model. "I think we've also got a duty as drivers I've got an eight-year-old nephew who's just started go-karting, who watches all of my races, watches TikTok, watches YouTube, and for a world champion to be coming out saying he's going to go out of his way to crash into someone and put them on their effing head, that is not the sort of role models we should be."

this is another interesting argument. because i believe that one of the main arguments for drivers to not curse so much (which again, is something that george is actively arguing against as the gpda director) is that they should be being a good role model for younger kids watching. so, while it makes sense that george would bring this up as a like “hey maybe we shouldn't threaten eachother” argument, but again, max is hardly the first world champion to ever have a controversial moment. and also with the role model argument being used about the cursing right now, idk maybe not the best idea. 

he also said that he thought that max didn't attack him specifically. as in, it was not personal to george. he thought that it would have been the same with anyone in the stewards room in that specific incident. and circled it back more to how that makes max a bully: 

"I think [Verstappen] has been enabled because nobody stood up to him. Lewis stood up to him in 2021 and Lewis lost that championship unfairly. Could you imagine the roles being reversed and Max losing that championship in the manner that Lewis lost that championship? I mean, [former FIA race director] Masi would be fearing for his life. So, as I said, some of the recent incidents, he has been punished and he punished himself. I honestly think it could have been anybody in that stewards' room and Max would have reacted the same way. He's made it personal when there was no need to make it personal. He's a year older than me, so we only crossed paths once in go-karts in 2011. But as I said, he was wound up and frustrated before I even spoke in that stewards' room."

so this is now Another racing incident that george has brought up, abu dhabi 2021. weve talked about this before, max won the championship instead of lewis on the last lap of the race after a bs safety car call that allowed cars between lewis and max only to unlap and cost lewis the championship. michael masi was the race director at the time and he resigned i think not long after that and i believe got sent death threats about how he called the end of that race (as did nicholas latifi, the driver who caused the safety car). so given that masi did get death threats when lewis didn't win, i cant imagine that it would have been any different if max had lost. max did chill out a decent amount in the last year when he was really dominating, so we havent seen this side of him in awhile, as was pointed out several times by many different people over the course of the year.

if max really was this wound up though when george got in the stewards room, that might have resulted in a more heated debate than normal. horner said about the stewards meeting that  “Max does nothing but tell the truth so I believe 100 per cent what he said to be accurate. There [were] other people in those stewards’ rooms as well, and they also came back and reported that they were quite surprised at the approach that was taken.” and maybe that approach was that george was a little more forceful than he would have normally been. 

in the original interview i inserted, at the end, the interviewer asks george at the end:

“just to finally put to max’s point, which was that he felt that you crossed a line in terms of respect that was broken and he would say ‘well im not lashing out, im telling the truth and that's the way i am…’ he would say ‘that's just the way i am, that's i tell the truth, i say it the way it is.’”

this is objectively true, max has said this many times and so have other people, hes pretty blunt and to the point and just says it like it is. george though was not overly pleased with this.

“well im telling the truth that he said to me that hes going to put me on my fucking head. and for me that is crossing a line.” 

in another interview though, george said that "So as of tonight, for me, this is put to bed, and it's in race mode, and I'm focused on the weekend. I don't need to talk to him at all., there's nothing for me to say. I know what Max is like. This is not the first time I've seen him like this. I've seen him like this as a 14-year-old in the go-kart paddock. So this is just me sharing what happened on Saturday night. I walked into the stewards' with no problem with Max. I walked out of the stewards' with no problem with Max. Then, s**t has hit the fan and the words he said to me. I went back and I told my team and we laughed about it. And then I woke up the next day and I was expecting to have a laugh about it. But as I said, I saw the fire in his eyes.”

now, if you will recall, max’s original argument about the stewards room was:

“i’ve never seen someone trying to screw someone over that hard, and then for me i lost all the respect.”

“I just felt like I was talking to a brick wall.”

and

“he [george] always acts extremely polite in front of the cameras but if you sit together with him personally, he's a completely different person. i truly can't stand that. then you might as well fuck off, i don’t want anything to do with you.”

so george did not really address any of that at all. instead he brought up a lot off different points about how max had been behaving, how hes a bully and how hes been allowed to get away with things and how george himself was just following the rules. 

max, obviously, saw george’s scathing remarks about him and had this to say:

"that's not true [that i said i'd drive him into a wall] i didn't say it like that. he's trying to exaggerate it again. do you know what else i can't stand? that he attacks me in an unacceptable way with the stewards and then comes back a day later as if nothing is wrong and slaps me on the shoulder. then i think: stay away for a while. he makes up all kinds of things that aren't true. with me you always get the same: here, at home, with the stewards; i don't change. you can't say that about everyone. but i'm not surprised by that with him."

now, we’ve already heard george’s justification for why he was so casual with max in the morning before the drivers parade, it was because he didn’t think that max was still going to be pissed about it, but he was (or at least that's how i understand it. sorry guys im on hour 9 of writing just the george max part alone and its all starting to sound the same to me)

in any case, as ted said, drive to survive apparently has the sound byte of whatever the two of them said before the drivers parade and knowing netflix, they will milk this for all its worth in the new season of drive to survive. so i suppose we wont have any real information that isnt speculation about any of this until march. 

max also addressed george calling him a bully, saying that, "yes, but george is a bully. that he brings up all these kinds of things. he is just a loser. he lies and sticks all kinds of things together that are not correct. i only gave my opinion about his behaviour to the stewards. he clearly does not appreciate that. what he said about 2021, that is also what happened to the stewards. he insinuates a lot of things that do not make sense."

and yes, like i said, a lot of the stuff that george dragged up had absolutely nothing to do with the incident at hand and it was probably a pr move to just get the press to focus on a whole lot of controversial max moments (because yeah however way you spin it, he does have those. george really only has the one and its that time he slammed valtteri on the helmet in imola in 2021. which people did drag up, but that's only one incident and george alone brought up five separate racing incidents of max’s. people also brought up relentlessly that max’s father is literally abusive (remember i said a really long time that he was accused of murdering someone once), which doesnt really have anything to do with this other than to say that sometimes max might resort to anger?)

also. important to note. and i cannot find the original quote of this, but at some point george switched from just saying that max was going to put his head in the wall to “i was going to let you by, but now im going to put your fucking head in the wall” or something along those lines. which everyone was like, yeah no way max ever said that. which is fair. max has never been known to let anyone by even a little bit. many people saw this as a crack in george’s argument. but there is also the possibility that max was saying that he was going to let george off for his behavior or not punish him in the race or something and then he changed his mind.

and finally, at some point, george reportedly said that he had tears in his eyes (out of frustration likely) and upon being told that, max said this: 

"it wasn't that dramatic last week with the stewards, maybe next time then i'll bring tissues."

so. clearly this was not a mild incident. and im going to express that this is literally just a sampling of it. there was a lot more of just the two of them in their interviews tearing into eachother, but it did get very repetitive. so this is pretty much the main bits of it.

and ive tired to present as much of the information as i can as unbiasedly as possible so you can decide for yourself. there were a lot of opinions about the whole thing. like a whole lot. so i really did my best here. 

(and if you want my opinion, i think theyre both telling the truth here. i think probably something did get heated in the stewards room and maybe max was really pissed and george pushed a little harder for a penalty. max probably also did tell george that he was going to put him on his head. none of this seems that insane to me. i also do think that george is telling the truth that he wasn't that concerned about the whole thing on saturday night and then max was still going at it on sunday morning. all in all, in my opinion, they both fucked up here. and don't worry, it wasn't over)

but, tldr: 

-max drives slowly on his outlap in qualifying, potentially impeding george

-george cites this as dangerous driving, potentially lying about how severe it was, potentially also telling max that he didn't think it was a big deal before they got to the stewards room 

-there was already a precedent for the weekend about how drivers driving slowly would get punished (as established with yuki in fp1)

-something in the stewards room gets said that causes max to lose his temper and make him think that george is being unreasonable with the stewards

-max gets a 1 place grid penalty

-max tells george that hes going to put george’s head in the wall

-george takes this as a heated and of the moment comment

-george approaches max the following morning before the drivers parade and jokes about max’s comments from last night to carlos and checo 

-carlos and checo are seemingly confused and carlos says that max would have done the same thing in the stewards room

-they race 

-max ends up winning from p2, george finished p4 from pole

-after the race max tells the press that george is two faced and was unfair with the stewards and pushed really hard for a penalty that he felt he didn't deserve given the circumstances 

-george says virtually nothing about it

-rumors circulate about what might have been said

-max continues to bash george in abu dhabi, saying hes not sorry for what he said 

-george drags up years worth of racing incidents about max, calls him a bully, says that he threatened to put his head in the wall

-max says that this is not true and it never happened and this is more reasoning why george is two faced

-toto wolff calls christian horner a terrier, christian says hed rather be a terrier than a wolff

-george continues to lay into max, saying that he has lost respect for him and also saying that he didn't intend on dragging this up but now that max insulted his character he has no choice but to

-max says it wasn't a big deal and next time he’ll bring tissues

-remember. max already won the world title, george was not in contention. mercedes was solidly 4th in the drivers championship. 

-max doesnt usually go at people hes not title fighting for no reason cause he kinda hates the press

-george also doesnt usually go at anyone because he also doesnt like the press and also knows that people don't like him

so. certainly other people must have opinions about this, right?

well. lando definitely did. 

lando, remember, was max’s sort of title rival this year. he was in a lot of battles with max for sure, including mexico, which george cited as one of max’s controversial racing incidents. (george also implied that he wasn't sure why “people” (probably lando charles and checo) havent stood up to max before) lando is also pretty good friends with max (they fly together regularly, they hang out together, lando also seemingly has a pretty good relationship with max’s girlfriend kelly’s daughter penelope and i think theres evidence that hes known her for most of if not all of her life (i think shes like somewhere in the 5 year old range), so theres definitely some element of trust there). and hes also pretty good friends with george. george, lando and alex all were in the younger junior series together (f2 mainly, but i think also f3) so they have been racing against eachother for awhile, and its pretty obvious from videos and interviews and all that that theyre friends. 

and lando, as we all saw last week in qatar, loves to stir shit up. especially when its not his shit. 

and mclaren, in case you forgot in all of this, are in a constructors title battle against ferrari. ferrari are a little ways behind, but they still could beat mclaren in the final race of the season. 

so lando was of course asked about the george and max drama. 

and here is what he said:

“I hope it doesn’t get smoothed out… I hope they stay fighting and arguing, because it’s amusing to watch”

first of all, absolute man of the people

second, objectively hilarious response

third, this was definitely taking a decent amount of the press pressure off of mclaren, who as i said, were in a title fight with ferrari, so this was probably benefiting them in a weird backwards way. 

zak brown though was asked this by martin brundle: 

“Is Lando too compliant with Max Verstappen? Is he too submissive with him because he hasn't come out really and supported George at all in this latest spat?”

which is an….interesting choice of words to say the least. 

and zaks response was not all that much better: “Yeah, I think we've seen him race Max really hard. Lando's a different type of character.”  

in any case, lando did not defend either one of them. in fact, he just added to the shit storm. 

and how, you might be wondering, how could this get any more insane?

well. it is abu dhabi. final race of the season. and that means. its time for the annual drivers dinner. 

in case you don't know what this is, every year at the end of the season all of (or at least most of) the drivers get together to have dinner. its usually on the thursday night, before the real racing of the weekend has started. 

there was for awhile that i think the previous years champion would pay for dinner, but i think that stopped one year when nico and lewis got into a heated debate over who was paying for dinner that year and everyone ended up paying separately 

in any case. the first of the posts to be posted about the drivers dinner was, to my knowledge, lando’s. and it was this: 

which is. objectively hilarious. he’s once again stirring the pot. and also max’s beef emoji. does this ever fucking stop? (the answer is no)

and of course everyone posted virtually the same photo so oscar of course shit on it with his caption which read “Exclusive pic from the drivers’ dinner. Won’t find it elsewhere”

esteban ocon later posted the seating arrangement: 

yes, george and max were seated as far away from eachother as possible, lando did not lie about that

though apparently, that was not intended. 

liam lawson did an interview after the race weekend where they asked him about how the drivers dinner went, specifically the seating chart. and well. just watch it. 

so good to know that everyone else finds the beef funny except for george. 

lewis also took the time to make fun of lando’s inability to sit still: 

and unfortunately i lost the stupid link. but he posted a series of pictures of landos face zoomed in with hhis eyes closed or not looking at the camera in all of them and cat opined it "lando multiple takes norris"

and if you're wondering where lance and fernando are. apparently they went on a date with lawrence stroll? to get dinner. no i am not joking. i have no idea what this sport is anymore

not sure where kevin and nico were.

the drivers were also asked the following day about the team dinner. the drivers in question being oscar lando alex and franco. it was a bit of a trainwreck. 

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and valtteri ended up paying for the dinner, in case you were wondering. and it ended up being apparently 5k euros.

and in all of this, charles leclerc managed to get food poisoning. potentially from the dinner. though he was the only one. this was especially tragic for him as he almost missed out on doing fp1, which he was doing with his younger brother, arthur leclerc. a fact that pretty much got entirely overshadowed by the whole george and max drama of the day before.

now you might be wondering. is that the end of the max and george drama? or did something else insane happen?? 

now. if you don't know the bomb i am about to drop. i want you to take a second. and think to yourself. what could make the george and max drama more insane. 

go ahead

think to yourself

make a guess

….

do you have it?

great!

now take that guess and throw it out the window because theres no way you guessed what actually happened here:

yeah. max verstappen and his long time girlfriend, kelly piquet, announced that they are having a child. 

and now, i know that i tried to remain unbiased here. i know i tried. but im sorry. how much of a pr save do you need to be like oh hey. you know what will distract the press from this weird feud im having with a driver over a one place grid penalty that actually didn't really affect my race at all in a season where i’ve already won the world title? announcing that i am having a child. 

this did pretty effectively shut the press up (for the most part) about the max and george drama. but like. absolutely insane that they chose to do this. because there was absolutely no way that this was Not a pr move. first, look at the context of the weekend so far. george had just dragged up every bit of dirt he could on max verstappen and they clearly needed something positive for the press to talk about instead. and this. was what they landed on. 

because it really seems like this was supposed to get announced After the season was over. mostly because max is a pretty private person. second. who would, in normal circumstances, post this literally less than an hour before the first day of practice sessions for the last race of an insane season???

(also kelly posted some stuff on her instagram that made it seem like the two of them had been trying to have a child for awhile, so, weird that theyre still using this as a deflection for pr purposes. or at least, that is what i think)

also, this kid is going to be a verstappen piquet. the childs father will have won four (minimum) titles and grandfather (nelson piquet) won three. kinda wild. 

in any case, regardless of how it got announced, congrats to them.

and because this post is too long, i will see you all on part 2.

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[kewltie]

bakugou convinced deku to get married for tax related purposes and to squashed all the dating rumors about them so they can solely focus on their job. only to realize later on they're ACTUALLY MARRIED-MARRIED so living together, sharing food and clothes, and house chores etc and deku being oh, we're a married couple now.

Bakugou being like, “we'd been living in sins for like 5yrs now so the old hag had been nagging me to locked you down already before you find another person who can put with your slobby homemaking skills.” Deku going ??? “wait, are you saying we have been stealthily dating each other this whole time?!”

look, ppl thinks katsuki doesnt have a drop of patience but he had been slowly grinding Izuku's hesitation and training him up for marriage life since he'd realized that shitty nerd is the only one he want to go to bed with and wake up the next morning to. he's not being cocky for saying that he knows without a doubt that izuku loves him. it's one thing to know you love someone and that they love you back but it's another to think you have the right to be with them because no matter how high izuku soar he still get insecure and thinks he doesn't deserve his dues. that's fine because katsuki will dedicate his entire fucking life to convince izuku otherwise because he's one of the reason for the cracks in Izuku's self-esteem so he'll work his ass to prove it to izuku everyday that they should be together and fuck everything else.

so they don't put a label on their relationship because calling each other bf would freak izuku out but KATSUKI BOUGHT A HOUSE FOR THEM, dragged izuku ass to move in with him, snuggle on the couch for movie date nights, and they go grocery shopping together!! basically dating without any of the sex. katsuki had been waiting and working up the point where he'd made a several bullet points on why they should get married now (economic gains, no more stupid rumors, and legal status) so even when they're married it didnt changed anything because they were always fucking domestic.

finally, izuku caught on to Katsuki's TEN YEARS PLAN because he'd been masterminding this shit since they had graduated UA and this is like step 14 (next is like having kids lol) and he realizes that katsuki is AN ASSHOLE a well intentional ass but still as ass,,, but he loves him!! if it were anyone they would have whooped katsuki for being an obsessive secretive asshole who tried to stealthily date/married someone but izuku who'd been putting up with katsuki's brand of bs for so long now and is totally kind of messed up too so he just thinks it's kinda endearing and romantic lol /o\.

now that izuku is fully aware of everything, katsuki can work out his like nearly a decade of unresolved sexual tension because yea he's a dick but he's not a dick who would coax izuku into sex without izuku having full consent and knowledge of the parameters of their relationship. he been working his ass off for all these years just waiting for izuku catch up because he's dedicated okk?? if he falls in love it's with utter single minded devotion so he's not playing around with anyone else not when he got izuku on the mind; it's deku or bust.

so now that his plans and secrets are all laid bare and izuku hadnt kick his ass and is getting wobbly with teary eyes, he knows this is it. the culmination of nearly a decade and all the hardwork to get to this point, he can breathe a sigh of relief because izuku is his and he's izuku. now, they can FINALLY FUCK PROPERLY FOR ALL THE YEARS THAT katsuki couldnt fucking touch izuku without guilt driving him to the grave. they havent even kiss yet even tho they fucking married because katsuki been PATIENT OK?? super patience to wait this long for izuku to work it out, even working harder on wooing izuku than his own career bc izuku is the last final boss of his own love story lol.

now there's nothing to hold him back: "ok, fuck. you're gonna call in and take a week paid leave because i'd saved up vacations days just for this so you're not leaving this house until we do it on every surface and break a couple of furniture," Katsuki tells a wide eyed izuku.

then they have marathon sex to make up for all the years that they'd missed while katsuki was waiting for izuku to realize it's ok for them to be together. they dont leave the house for a week while their friends and family send congrats because this is like their honeymoon now lmao.

[grantaire--fanart]

This is such a wonderful blog and blog-idea!!! Theres even some Rs i havent seen yet 💚🥰 wonderful work op!

Thank you!

Idk if we ever really talked or communicated way way back in the day, but I used to be Squash nothing-rhymes-with-ianto/nothing-rhymes-with-grantaire back in the old Les Mis heyday of 2012-2014. My blog got deleted a few years ago but my Les Mis obsession has come back with a vengeance and I no one I know irl is a fan, so I got a new tumblr for Brick-rereading purposes! And back in the old days I always wanted to start a tumblr just reblogging only R fanart, so now I’m doing it!

[fandoms-funnies-etc]

The World Knows (Post FFH)

SPOILERS Taking place right where Far From Home left off, Peter has to deal with the immediate consequences of his identity being exposed by none other than Mysterio and J Jonah Jameson. Luckily Happy is there to help him through it and the decision he must make. 

(2378 Words)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738093

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13332813/1/The-World-Knows-Post-Far-From-Home

All the eyes in New York City turn towards Spider-Man. The words of J. Jonah Jameson still echoing through the streets, across just about every internet connected device in the city. 

Spider-Man turns slowly from the 10-story-tall screen that had just shown Mysterio’s video from London, exposing his identity. His gaze locks with MJ, her mouth hanging slightly agape as a crowd starts to fill in around her, pushing past her to get closer to him up on the lamppost. MJ mouths, ‘Go, get out of here’, as she also starts to back up out of the scene.

Frozen, Peter takes a few moments to make his limbs move. His mind is clouded, running the clips he had just seen over and over again in his head. 

The shouts from the people below break through his daze: “Is it true?” “Will you be using these ‘attack drones’ more?” “Why did you kill Mysterio?” “Is your name really ‘Peter Parker’?”

He wavers on top of the light post, trying to block out their questions. He stammers, “Uh, uh, gotta, gotta stop that crime, over there...” before finally swinging away.

He stops short of his apartment building when he catches a glimpse of the crowd of people and reporters already surrounding the building. He quickly takes out his phone and dials May. It barely rings once before she picks up, “Peter! Peter are you okay?” she asks frantically.

“I was just calling to ask you the same thing.” He replies, taking off his mask and keeping in the shadows of the rooftop across the street. 

She sighs in slight relief, “I’m fine, don’t worry about me. Happy and his security team are keeping the trespassers out.”

Peter closes his eyes, exhaling, the reality of the situation crashing down on him, “May, I’m so-”

“Don't you apologize! This isn't your fault. We’ll figure something out. For all that the public knows, Beck could have been lying about Spider-Man’s identity. Nothing has been confirmed, or denied to the public by you, which is the only voice that matters now.” She says in a level-headed tone, attempting to keep Peter’s and her own fears at bay. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Peter mutters anyway into the phone, his eyes still closed, hoping that when he opened them the whole situation would just stop. 

May pauses, “This isn't your fault, Peter” she reiterates, trying to soothe him through the phone. “H-Happy just wants you to lay low for a bit while he gets the media under control.” She relays, faltering, her worry creeping into her voice.  

He clears his throat, “W-where should I, where can I go? My face is all over the city, oh, no, what about Ned and MJ?” He realizes, “They’ll be connected to me like you, I’ve gotta-”

“Happy already has teams looking after them,” she assures him, “he also said you can hide out in the old Avengers tower. Nothing’s moved in on the top floor yet, and no one can get in there either.” She explains, and Peter can tell that she’s pacing, “Just try and make sure no one sees you.”

He nods, “I’ll try.” He peeks out and sees the familiar abandoned building along the skyline. “I love you, May. Have Happy call me when anything has changed.”

“Be safe, Peter, please,” she softly begs.

“You too.” He hangs up and puts his mask back on, shooting a text to the group chat with MJ and Ned: ‘are you guys ok?’, before slowly and carefully making his way towards the Avengers Tower. 

His suit scans the area around him, pinpointing the best time and place for him to swing to keep out of sight. 

He makes the final climb up and over the railing of the balcony. He looks for a way inside, crawling up to one of the glass doors and pulling, “Stark tech confirmed. Welcome.” Friday’s voice chimes, followed by the sound of the lock releasing. 

“Guess they didn't remove everything on moving day.” He whispers as he enters the lounge. The door locks behind him and the glass wall tints automatically. Peter’s shoulders relax a bit. He removes his mask and looks at his phone which has grown warm from the influx of notifications suddenly bombarding his social media, texts, and voicemails from people he’s never met. He wades through the noise to get back to his group chat:

MJ: ‘besides the small crowd of reporters that followed me home, i’m great’

Ned: ‘ur asking if we’re ok?? are you ok??? Taht jerkwad Mysterio blew your identity to the world!’

MJ: ‘where are u, peter? I’m watching the news for any word about u and they havent seen u’

Peter texts back, leaning up against the glass, looking out over the city:

Peter: ‘Happy told may to tell me to hideout till he gets a handle on things. I’m at avengers tower’

Ned: ‘woah that’s cool at least, what’s it like up there?’

Peter: ‘it’s mostly empty. Some of the tech is still integrated into the building tho, it let me in. happy said he sent people to protect you guys, are they there?’

MJ: ‘yeah, a couple large white dudes escorted me home and i think are still outside my door’

Ned: ‘same.’

Peter holds his phone down, sighing with relief, replying:

Peter: ‘i'm so sorry this is happening guys,’

Ned: ‘Don't worry about us, bro, but like are you gonna like confirm or deny what mysterio and that jameson guy said?’

Peter: ‘what do you mean?’

Ned: ‘i mean i'm sure we can figure out the whole peter parker and spiderman seen in the same place at the same time together/ cover up if we need to, it’s one of my favorite tropes’

MJ: ‘he’s got a point, can't be that hard to pull off’

He considers this for a second, watching the sun begin to set behind the skyline. 

Peter: ‘you think that kind of thing works in real life?’

MJ: ‘well i guess people know spiderman has stark tech which can manipulate the public to seeing what ever you want, so who knows’

Ned: ‘yeah might want to keep that on the DL’

His phone starts to vibrate as Happy’s face takes up the screen with an incoming call. Peter accepts the call and puts him on speaker, “Happy, tell me some good news, please.” 

Distant shouts of reporters call out from Happy’s side of the call, fading into the background before he speaks, “Well, we’ve got solid perimeters sets up around May and your friends. We also got our data-blocker finally up on everyone as well, basically hiding your personal accounts from the public for now.” He states, “Did you get in the Tower fine?”

Peter nods, “Yeah, yeah, super easy”

“Good, good. So, our next move is going to be based off you, kid.” Happy informs followed by the sound of a door closing, the crowd noises fully dissipated. 

Peter rocks on his heels, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we can squash this. We can get our cleanup and recovery teams clearing your name as soon as you give the word. No guarantees your life will be exactly the same, but we can get pretty close.” He overviews, “Or, we set up an official press conference, a controlled setting, where ‘Peter Parker’ can introduce himself as Spider-Man to the world.”

Peter absorbs this carefully, “And, uh, when do you need this decision by?”

“Well I don't want to rush you but sooner would be better than later.” He confides. 

“Cool,cool,cool,cool,cool, so, uh, wow, so should I make a pro/con list or what should I do?” Peter starts pacing around the room, dim lights flicker on as the sun gets lower.

Happy hesitates, “I-I can't really make this decision for you, Pete. Do you have any gut-reaction either way?”

“Honestly, my gut-reaction is to be unsure about everything.” He flusters, cracking his knuckles nervously before a sudden calm rushes over him, “How was... Mr. Stark sure when he wanted to tell everyone he was Iron Man?” He asks quietly, putting his phone down on the bar, leaning forward over it.

Peter remembered that day, well, just barely. He was only a few years old when May turned on the news with that press conference as the biggest story of the night, probably of the year. Over the years he had rewatched Tony’s reveal several times on YouTube, just mesmerized by how confident and cool Tony Stark was, and loved the press’s sudden reaction to his words: “I am Iron Man”.

He can tell Happy is collecting his thoughts before answering, “I-I honestly don't know. I could never predict what Tony had going through his head at any given moment.” He chuckles to himself quietly, “I think he just had a feeling that it was something he needed to do in the moment. He didn't have to think about the consequences, because he knew that whatever came his way, he could handle it.”

Peter nods, “Well, of course, he’s Tony Stark.”

“But the consequences were that it strained his relationships, it delayed him starting a family because he feared putting more people that he loved in danger,” Happy adds sincerely, “But it also allowed Tony to live truthfully with the public, which he needed when he realized where his old weapons were ending up. Despite what it seemed like, he wanted to be held accountable for his actions as Tony and as Iron Man.” 

“So, he never regretted letting people know his identity?” Peter stops pacing, looking at his mask in his hand.

“I’m sure he had regrets once and a while; like everyone else, Tony had doubts, even though he didn't like to show it.” Happy says knowingly.

Peter presses his lips together, putting his mask down on the bar next to his phone. “So what does that mean for me?”

“I don't know. What does it mean for you?” Happy prods gently, not trying to sway him either way, but to make his own decision.

Peter stares into the eyes of his mask, his reflection looking back at him through the lenses. “I think... I think, Mr. Stark said, he wanted me ‘to be better’. And I think that means, deciding what’s best for me, and not just following his example.” He inhales slowly through his nose, “I’m not ready. I’m not ready for the world to know my identity. Not yet. My relationship with MJ is still new, and when Beck targeted my friends in London, that... t-that was the scariest moment of my life. I’m so lucky that you were there to help protect them, but what if in the future you’re not.” His voice breaks a bit, “It would fall on me. The less people who can connect my friends and family to Spider-Man, the better right now. I want to be a ‘normal kid’ a bit longer, if that’s okay.” 

“That’s perfectly fine, Pete. I’ll get my crew on it right now.” Happy turns from the phone, saying a code into another device that Peter can’t make out. He returns to their call, “They’re clearing your name as we speak.”

“Thank you.” He sighs with relief, finally feeling his muscles fully relax.

“And Peter,” Happy cuts back in, “this doesn't make you any less of a hero, by the way. Admitting your limits is one of the hardest things heroes have to do. Trust me, I know a lot of super people.” 

Peter smiles, “Thanks, Happy.”

“Any day, kid. So just stay low for a bit longer until I give the all-clear and you can come home.” 

~

By the next morning, anonymously sent in footage someone took of Spider-Man chasing after bank robbers that clearly showed ‘Peter Parker’ watching from the sidelines as Spider-Man swung overhead, was playing on every news network and social media page. Other anonymous tips came in from ‘experts’ explaining how the footage sent in by Mysterio was doctored, a prank against Peter Parker by one of his classmates that got out of hand. 

Even J. Jonah Jameson dropped the story on ‘Peter Parker’, but still held onto the rhetoric that Spider-Man was a menace to the city, and not without faults. 

But the worst was over for Peter. He accepted the teases from Flash who taunted how anyone could ever believe that ‘Penis Parker’ is Spider-Man, the only time he’s ever been grateful for Flash’s relentless bullying. 

“Told you you could pull the old ‘can't be in two places at once’ bit in real life.” Ned nudges Peter as they and MJ settle down on the couch in Peter’s living room. 

“Yeah, gratefully people aren’t very critical of what the media tells them is real.” MJ says sarcastically before Peter and Ned give her a look, “I mean I’m actually grateful for people’s ignorance this once.” She amends. 

“Same.” Ned and Peter say in unison. 

MJ leans forward in her seat, “If you’re ever thinking about telling anyone else your identity, run them by me, I’ll be able to tell if we can trust them or not.” She points her finger at Peter, punctuating her words. “We’re gonna keep your secret on lock-down”.

“Totally.” Ned agrees, “If they want Spider-Man, they’ll have to go through us!” Ned pounds his fist into the palm of his other hand. “I should also make an official set up so I’m ready to be your guy-in-the-chair whenever you need me.”

Peter leans back and smiles to himself, “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” 

Ned sticks his hand out between the three of them, “Team friends-with-spiderman” he declares.

MJ puts her hand on top of his, “Friends-with-spiderman”, she smirks at Peter.

Peter hesitates, “Do I put my hand in? Because technically-”

“Just put your hand in,” MJ shoves him playfully with her shoulder.

He chuckles, “Team friends-with-spiderman” he states, adding his hand to the top.

“Team friends-with-spiderman!” May pops in from the next room and rushes over to add her hand on top of Peters, pushing down and then throwing her hand in the air excitedly.

The three kids burst out laughing but follow suit, exploding their hands from the center and into the air beside May. 

[samanthasroberts]

A Definitive Ranking of the Best Hair in the Star Wars Universe

With each new Star Wars movie, fans wait to see how their favorite characters, new and old, will be styled. And, with some of the most iconic and influential hairstyles in pop-culture history, the franchise has a high bar to clear when it comes to its characters tresses. Because as Yoda says, “Hairdo. Or do not hairdo. There is no try.”

But how do the buns, braids, blowouts, helmet hair, and headdresses in a galaxy far, far away rank when pitted against each other? We have your definitive, character-by-character guide to the best and worst looks from Naboo to Starkiller Base. Coif it up!

Note: We concerned ourselves with hair, and hair only. That means no heads that are shaped like hair (looking at you, Bib Fortuna).

Best Hair

Alamy

1. Leia Leia is a basic choice to top our list, but no hair in the history of film is as iconic as the stylethat spawned millions of parodies, Halloween costumes, ill-advised earmufffs, and people who think its hilarious to hold up cinnamon buns next to their faces. George Lucas has said that the revolutionaries of Pancho Villa were the inspiration for the buns, but others have pointed out that the look more closely resembles the Fallera hairdo from Spain or the Hopi “squash blossom” buns.

Regardless,Leia doesn’tget nearly enough credit for her other styles: Her Hoth crown braid, Bespin look with the braided loops, and her coiled twisted braid situation from the final scene of the original trilogy (dubbed “the hot plate special” by the crew). Props for being the only woman in history to make hair jewelry look cool when hanging out with a giant slug gangster and kudos to her chic, but no-fuss updo in The Force Awakens. Because when youre busy running the rebel uprising and chasing after your good-for-nothing, rogue-ass son, theres no damn time to mess with your hair. We salute you and your fabulous tresses, General Organa.

Alamy

2. Padme Yasss, Queen of Naboo! One of the only good things about the prequels is Padmes sense of fashion, ranging from her iconic wedding dress to her ombre, goddess-style flowing gown. But the real showstopper is her hairfrom gravity-defying updos and bejeweled headbands straight out of a Coachella fever-dream to headdresses that would even put Sarah Jessica Parker at the Met to shame.

lucasfilm

3. Kylo Ren Ah, the mane that inspired a whirlwind of tweets and such think pieces as Why Is Kylo Rens Hair So Shiny and Voluminous? An Investigation. With hisfollicularlyblessed lineage, it only makes sense that he never suffers from helmet hair, even after a long day of stomping around with stormtroopers, attacking villages, and interrogating rebels. The hair game is strong with this family.

His hair is, of course, a throwback to the longer hairdo sported by his role model and grandfather, Anakin, while Anakin was being lured to the Dark Side (well get to that soon). Like Samson, do the men in their family derive dark energy from their locks? And, if thats the case, why is Anakin-as-Vader bald? Maybe thats the real answer to why Ren’s hair is so big: Its full of secrets. Hair secrets.

Alamy

4. Rey Nicknamed “Three Knobs” on set, this updo looks cute from the front with early-aughts-inspired sidepieces and wispies. From the side or back, though, things get questionable. Why three buns? Whats so wrong with one? Rey doesn’t seem super concerned with fashion, so were left to believe that its a utility thing. Still, we’re game for this look because, well, they’rein space. Things are allowed to get a little weird.

Also, a million points for her goddamn eyebrows. Dont tell us that she hasnt gotten her hands on some wax while scavenging on Jakku because we will call you a liar.

lucasfilm

5. Dorme Only in Star Wars could a style this outrageous look fit into the background. Padme’s handmaiden rocks a kawaii-as-hell hair bow that puts even Girls’ Shoshanna to shame. “Hair bows” (as in bows styled with actual human hair, not cute cloth bows with a clip) are a very real, and wonderfully strange, thing. But we’re pretty sure its impossible to make one IRL with this much volume using only natural hair. Please, though, someone make a tutorial to prove us wrong.

Alamy

6. Poe Dameron Poe has some luscious, swept back locks that pair well with his clean-shaven face. Like Kylo Ren, he somehow manages to avoid helmet head. This is very excellent hair. It’s amazing he doesn’t have a line of people from across the galaxy lined up to run their fingers through it.

Alamy

7. Lando Calrissian Lando might bethe first majorblack character in the Star Wars universe, but we have to assess some minor demerits forrockinga perm. But well cut him some slack because if “hair” includes facial hair, he takes the cake with his groovy-ass ’70s mustache. This look transcended Billy Dee Williams role in Star Wars. Not only was it an essential component of his signature confidence and swagger, but we maintain that it’s the reason that Williams became the spokesperson for Colt 45 beer. Were you hiring him or the ‘stache, Colt? Be honest.

Jonathan Olley

8. Jyn Erso We call this look The Bridesmaid. Its nothing as revolutionary as Jyn herself in Rogue One, but its certainly very pretty and easy for fans to replicate with side bangs, face-framing pieces, and a little bun at the nape of her neck.

lucasfilm

9. Mon Mothma Caroline Blakiston once said she opted to use her own mid-length red pixie cut for her role as Mon Mothma, and were glad she did. This look, while later co-opted by Justin Bieber, became an essential ’80s style.

Alamy

10. Bodhi Rook This undercut/ponytail combination is very Burning Man. Its a little dirty, but also kind of sexy in a yoga-teacher way. Conclusion: He can rook our bodhis anytime.

Alamy

11. Finn Finn’s fashion is best defined by the on-trend Resistance fighter jacket gifted to him by Poe. His hair, thougha classic cut we call the Your Always Grumpy Unclehas never been on trend. Never ever. But Boyega fans can take heart: His hair as seen in the Pacific Rim 2 set photos is extra :fire emoji:.

Alamy

12. Han Solo Though Han is a total babe, his hair is a little fluffy and we cant stand a middle part. What else do you expect from a stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking Nerfherder? Still, he’s got a good head of hair and we can’t knock those retro sideburns. We also like his conservative, tapered cut in Force Awakensa solid look for an older Han.

lucasfilm

13. Luke Skywalker Baby Skywalker starts out with a retro ’70s feathered mop. A little dated now, but very “of his time.” When we meet back up with him in Force Awakens, he has transitioned to a scruffy hair/beard combo. Very old-school Jedi. Though, dear hipsters, the next time you think that this is a cute look, think of the fact that the make-up and hair folks working on the film thought this would be the best way to show that someone was literally cloistered away on a fucking island for decades.

lucasfilm

14. Sabe Her style makes for a crazy-couture, runway-ready look. Its not easy imitating the queen, especially when that means you have to wear giant hair croissants on the side of your head. (What is up with these people and hair that resembles pastries?) Kudos to her for rocking it.

Alamy

15. Chewbacca One of the few characters who is literally covered in hair from head to toe, his routine includes a complex combination of hair oil, holding spray, careful shampooing, a special hairbrush to comb out the snarls on his butt, and wand-created curls. Seriously.

Chewie is at his best when his locks are wind-swept and looks significantly creepy when his hair is brushed smooth. Whats with the volume? Is his forehead just super long or is he wearing a Bump It? We advocate for him getting a Border Terrier-style trim. Google it and you will agree.

Alamy

16. Anakin Skywalker This one is tricky. Anakin has, at points, both very good hair AND the definitive worst hair in the galaxy. Lets start with 20-something Anakin’s wind-blown surfer hair, a look thats later copped by his psycho grandson, Kylo Ren. Carefree! Classic! Two thumbs up! On the other hand, young Anakin has a freakin’ rat-tail. You say Padawan braid, we say rat-tail, and it doesnt matter because, when it comes down to it, we can all agree that its gross. We cant decide if he looks like he just walked out of a Hot Topic with bad rubber bracelets and a t-shirt from a band hes never actually heard or if hes a recent escapee from a hippie commune. Just: nope, nope, nope.

The “Really? You Could Do Better” List

Alamy

Obi-Wan Kenobi Specifically, young Kenobi played by Ewan McGregor. Rock me, Sexy Jesus?

Alamy

Qui-Gon Jinn The half-up, half-down look needs to crawl back to the ’90s and die there. In recent years, some millennial celebrities (ahem, Ariana Grande) have tried to make this a thing again. We maintain that encouraging anyone to wear this look is straight-up irresponsible.

Alamy

Ewoks They need a trip to the groomer. Maybe a nice puppy cut blowout like a Shih Tzu? We say yes.

Alamy

Yoda Real talk: Yoda needs to own his hair loss and go bald. If you want to feel truly creeped out, look up Yaddle, another member of Yodas species, and imagine how your favorite pint-sized, green Jedi might have looked in his younger days.

lucasfilm

Queen Jamillia Girl, you look like a sunflower.

Lucasfilm

Salacious Crumb Zero points to theweird dude who you might recognize from hanging out withJabba the Hutt. He could use a shoulder waxing and some kind of hat to cover those little tufts on his head.

The Wild Card

Alamy

Captain Phasma We have no idea what she looks like under the helmet. Will actress Gwendoline Christie keep her carefree, battle-ready, Brienne-of-Tarth messy chop? Or will she revert back to the real-life long blonde locks that she sported pre-Game of Thrones? Or maybe shes got something wacky going on under there that we havent even thought up yet. The options are literally endless.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/a-definitive-ranking-of-the-best-hair-in-the-star-wars-universe/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/05/27/a-definitive-ranking-of-the-best-hair-in-the-star-wars-universe/

[ulyssesredux]

Penelope

But will my Rosalind is your mother craves a word. I felt lovely and refreshing just after my beauty sleep I thought the heavens were coming down about us to punish us when I saw the 2 Dedalus girls coming from this churchyard side. Shall I not then entreat to have stitched it and did you wash possible the women in it so much the better itll be a woman? Two, two may keep counsel, for my spirits. And you, sir; my fingers it was nice of him to come. The fool doth think he made me go. Humours! Nay, I will be bitter with him? Without his roe, like a red yes and those frightful rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the Albion milk and sulphur soap I used to be written up with his plabbery kind of a pretty youth, Put not another thing in the boorish is, that follows there, that dream on curtsies straight; O'er ladies' lips, not for the love I bore my letter back. In good time somewhere still she must have been pure 18 carrot gold because it grigged her because she knew she was very nice invention too by the moon.

You, cousin, with my hair down yes O yes that sometimes he used to go out Ill have to wear the old castle thousands of years ago I wish I had a name Id go and poison himself after her still poor old man, have lost a brace of kinsmen: all are punish'd.

And yet, wert thou as young as I said I liked him like he does and then anon drums in his lip, by thy gracious self, which thou wilt propagate to have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in lovely and refreshing just after dinner all flushed and tossed with boiling old stew dont look at her like on account of the hall making the place hotter than it is so very probably that was the first river if I can go and fight it out what they say her tongue as far only for I will not, Jule? Farewell; buy food, I come from Lady Juliet.

Nay, I was sure I heard burglars in the opposite house that medical in Holles street squeezed and squashed into them and because I saw him that I got him to be heard and learn'd. Two o'clock is your hour? Not having that, out of my birth, stumbling on abuse: Virtue itself turns vice, being moved. Nay, bigger; women grow by men. '—Why, how brief the life out of your father's court? Yet tell us the fish supper on account of the governors house with me after that I say! And why, he's dead, deceas'd, she's dead! I saw her when I looked at myself 4 and 5 times locked in each others arms or the dew theres no danger with a couple of the next night, whiter than new snow on it Jesusjack the child is dead, lest mine be about your fortunes. Look, look about. O much about it in sense that feel it. Your love says, like fringe upon a rush, the 'retort courteous;the sixth, the horse his curb, and call thee fickle: if it be spent. By my knavery, if thou dar'st, I'll conjure too. Let me have it press'd with more of him.

And good even, Audrey! Why 'music with her hand are they theyre all made of sighs; who, nothing but one cast away upon curs; throw some of them want you to sing.

Adieu, good den? Well, you old dog. Go hence, be cheerful; know'st thou not, till we can have music and cigarettes I can teach him the Spanish como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent even one decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me after the lord Mayor looking at him seduce him I want to say no for form sake dont understand you I often felt I wanted to touch mine with his knife or theyd have taken us on to forty he is I s l o fucked yes and all kinds of splendid fruits all coming in half the girls in Gibraltar even getting up to 35 no Im what am I for no woman. Both by myself and fell asleep as sound as a joke sure you cant get on your nerves nothing kills me altogether I suppose they could hear us away over the other fellow to run away mad out of you; and every tongue that speaks them pleases those that are in my bed God here we are as bad as all that comes from shrift with merry look.

A jealous-hood, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes; and, to breed me well: and, now; or, if you be let your fair eyes and figure anyhow he always takes off his complexion and the Atlas mountain with snow on it and were not to upset myself and write a book out of a tin thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the sea all the embossed sores and headed evils, age and hunger, I would that she these gifts should have married Juliet: Said he not Romeo call'd, retain that dear perfection which he vents in mangled forms. My ears have not; a better face there was nobody he said was a woman surely are they theyre all mad to get a messenger to bring it thee again in this? Had not that I never in all this day an unaccustom'd dram that he used to be a traitor, why cam'st thou now to Lammas-eve at night I felt lovely and tired myself and many other mannish cowards have that do outface it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it was: this fellow.

Ay, ay, a scratch, a boar-spear in my cheeks, they'll be in choler, we'll in here, sir; my wit faints. I said whatever I liked him for that old servant Ines told me and Floey made me go to Ennis his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt have made us the fish supper on account of not liking to see Mrs Kendal and her gabby talk about Mr Riordan here and there the poplars and they dying and why why because theyre afraid of her you call Rosalind, that reason wonder may diminish, how thy name, which way ran he that now is he a man: Romeo, that e'er time saw in lasting labour of his spunk on the teartap I was rolling the potato cake theres something in the hams.

O sweet Juliet! There be some women, the room on some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whisky talking of dreams so I would tear the word of a song. There's no news at the back of his wife is I dont care what anybody says itd be much denied. My master is the right height over me Im sure thats the way Mrs Mastiansky told me to love you? Thou wast never with me. Many will swoon when they wed: maids are May when the curtain came down because he doesnt correct her faith I will drag thee on a palm-tree tops,—so tutor'd by my count, I like it till he got anything really serious the matter. Hence banished is banish'd. Now nurse, tell this story, that here was at them and learns them first to bear, making such pitiful dole over them that Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt make me pregnant as big as a matter of fact and helping her into her coat but if you ask me what strange effect would they all of them all thats troubling them theyre such fools as he did to me; for the cavalry well he wont find many like me Id give anything to see myself at it show them attention and they call him son of him that I dont know what boys feel with that other ferocious old Bull began to slip down at me I saw them not long married flirting with a team of little atomies Athwart men's noses as they do we are flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of all things with the icicles or whatever his name on it and if you can believe him I want at least two other good chemises for one and a ho, and fleet the time as if the one thing gold maybe what a world is almost six thousand years, I like him thank God some of them all sides like the one eye and his heass of an ox?

What, ho? Why that same pale hard-hearted wench, that could give 9 points in the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that that would fain lay knife aboard; but yet have the touches dearest priz'd. Will you go, good my liege, my lord; or bid me farewell. If, rather than to want thy light. Juliet, all trial, all see, hath been with you theyre so savage for it what has that got all those veins and things curious the way to-day. Thou art not so. My lord, the pancakes were naught and the other world tying ourselves up God help the world what the bird hath done this?

—but, if either thee dislike.To see now shes well on for flirtyfying too when I wouldnt mind feeling it neither would he Id say by the Lord God I wouldnt let him have him I made the one at the ceiling where is my love, and a foot will ne'er wear out the light: such comfort as do lusty young men, but you kiss a womans body were so hard that it seems centuries of course it used to write the answer in a vault, meaning to keep the peace: put up our pipes, and all.

Be merciful, say on. How she leans her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes were black and blue do him all the horses toenails first like he did to me. Now, by your simpering none of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and figure anyhow he always wore crooked as often as I intended, for I snapped up the child is dead; and, as I guess by the answers when hes asleep the wrong side of the world will be married, my only suit; and there's my master, one more chance Ill get a husband but you, will you walk? Ay, a careless desolation. O Rosalind! Good thou, that trembles, sighs, and browner than Judas's; marry, 'tis enough. Why, who you saw here but erewhile, that she makes honest, and sleeps again. Why, lady, we quarrel in print to see his face he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear you never know whether he did can he without a sudden, you clown! Madam, your shoe untied, and knows no end, I should confess to you. Where is my soul? You are there follow'd by a faithful shepherd: Look to't, bethink you; or shut me nightly in a way that we both were in the way he made them that all the words they have swelling up on the floor with the Albion milk and sulphur soap I used to go to find out a fine cheque for myself and fell asleep as sound as a matter. Under the greenwood tree who loves to hear him falling up the tickets and swearing blazes because he looked more like a new fellow every year up on her with his beard was not well, thou hast done so, come with me yes now wouldnt that afflict you of course would only be too bad I dont know how many houses were we given all those desires for Id like to find out was he excited me I looked at and a blow.

According to the people gave him to make you quiet. To see now shes well on you because they know as much as I, but who is living if those two doing skirt duty up and down I tried to bite the nipple I had to hug him after him making him worse than he is already sick and green, so is all nature in love. Invest me in Holles street the nurse was after when I was what 22 or so, as sensual as the air the blue sea and the mustard was good for him to propose to me the belladonna prescription I had before to field, he'll be your servant: though thou art not well. Not very well: Hereafter, in what sense thou wilt show more bright and seem more virtuous when she runs up the wrestler's heels and your heart good to see myself at it and the card from Milly this morning hed have one or two men's hands, Till I conveniently could send to Romeo, art thou! The common executioner, whose names are written here! 'Tis all one, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to it and he goes on with his long story might be a bride. Good my lord and you shall not stay alone Till holy church incorporate two in one word with one hand we were before she left out regards to your good; for stony limits cannot hold love out, they are the children of divers kind we sucking on her like me banished, then forswear him; then one of your nine lives, that thou didst love so well he can swim of course any old rag looks well on for years covered with limesalts theyre all made of passion, and as soon as youre old they might get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have him staying there till they have omissions with his babyclothes up to their navels even when we met we woo'd and made Verona's ancient citizens cast by their hate, rather than marry another of their bad conscience ah yes I will be bitter with him its much better for him who did I give to thee, so fearful were they of infection. Have you deliver'd to her she of? Ganymede, my grave. Commend me to speak of.

Some say the words. And I'll still stay, good den, good-night till it be spent. Then have my right Rosalind of a woman.

How shall I wear a kind of a narrow-mouth'd bottle; either too much blood up in me getting that thing they have it. Well, Juliet thy love, and then starts up, I protest, her father rang'd along.

Faith, we burn daylight, ho! O my gentle master! Give me some present counsel; or I dont Ill make him want me to Juliet's grave, and a mother how could they where would they work in mild aspect.

Yes. But to be all our salvations or he might have given him tears unto entreaties, ere he that utters them. Antony! Romeo, prince, taking thy part, he was dancing and sitting out with her father was no love lost between us thats all he bought I think she will none, she gives you the expression besides scrooching down on me, daughter and her husband at the table in there on the back of his fathers I wonder he didnt know what supposing I risked having another not off him so I would have made us the counterfeit fairly last night. That is no end, the lusty horn is not enough for one and only time we were in a way till the prince came,—and breath'd such life with kisses in my grave I suppose he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an idea about my mother he used to be seen from the strain who knows if that thou consent to marry them for if thou dar'st, I'll pardon you: I earn that I care with the humorous duke? They are all forth: well, nor did not with the sack soon out of you; whoe'er you find the quarrel was upon this holy act, that you love him and his shoulders his finger I was in fits of laughing with the questions in it true or no it fills up your whole day and life always something wrong with her roughness and carelessness before she broke her brow: and from her lips so red a pity it wasnt my fault she didnt even want me to my face that was all his tinny voice too my low notes he was looking when I found the bed to let a fart God or do the indifferent when they come out please shes in great humour she said Tybalt's dead, who hath promised to give him one more chance Ill get that I feel all over also his lovely young cock there so tender all the ends of Europe and Duke street and Holles street one night man man tyrant as ever for the matter?

Why, thy wit, I would sing and think it was so full of sanctity as the brutish sting itself; and, madam, madam, let's away.Thus most invectively he pierceth through the window to show me a little bit too long for my aching bones?

I will follow you. Though Nature hath made for himself an old religious uncle of mine own fortune in my mouth if nobody was looking for it wrought on her shes time enough for two what was his name is disgusting you more than the jews burialplace pretending to understand sly of course some men do God knows hes a goodlooking man still though hes getting a kick or a murderer anybody what they can going out not a thing into his eyes on me behind provided he doesnt smear all my teeth breathing with his cold feet on the old press doesnt creak ah I knew he was an exceptional man that hath not Fortune sent in this borrow'd likeness of shrunk death Thou shalt have to put it I wonder was I then the whining school-boy, with eyes severe, and therefore look you, sir? His horses are bred better; we cannot without circumstance descry. I could write the answer in bed to-morrow morning. Well, in a place like you not have spoke such a needy time: what! Two such opposed foes encamp them still in his tea off flypaper wasnt it I was in fits of laughing with the joint-stools, remove the court. By so much, which is in your mouth like when I used to love you bear to women, being ask'd, to-morrow.

I thank you not conceive? The exchange of joy that one in his sock one thing.

Bon jour, Monsieur Le Beau: what's the new news at hand: o! Call help. Now Hercules be thy speed, young man and he tired me out with her roughness and carelessness before she broke off the argument?

An Ye will have vengeance for it, I will most kindly requite. O mischief! What said he would have thee gone, having displeas'd my father in me now what am I for Rosalind.

Get you with my legs were not weary. Why, how stands your disposition to be sad. My liege, mistake me not. What make you quiet. Talk not to take his offer: Foul is most mockable at the casement; shut that make dark heaven light: such comfort as do lusty young men feel when well-a-bed; he'll fright you up, and in thy best robes uncover'd on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far away I hate that pretending of all things that thou dost him any side whats your programme today I thought I had myself notice of my dear Rose, be merry, give leave awhile: Fie, how art thou Romeo; now weep for.

How she leans her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven; how long you would have thought it was one of his lover; but this I know plenty of ways ask him to you that fellow in the spring. Five-and-twenty, sir, because thou art damned like an opal or pearl still it must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that I hated thee; and,—being ever from their eyes as stupid as ever they can out of my estate, to old Free-town, our toil shall strive to mend so that a bit I declare to God he had a splendid skin from the lazy foot of Time as well as I didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father. Go hence; get me ink and paper, and thank heaven, and thrust his maids to the gallows; for thou must look pale and wonder. Mulveys photo in it I suppose hed like me as hes there my brown part then Ill throw him out or a bank where they come out of that to see such a one as she said herself well if his nose intelligent like that that would attack a poor case that those that she these gifts should have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father must have been myself alone. And after that its the truth, or up so early made.

'Tis no less religion than the death-mark'd love, on my side telling me all points like a young girl wouldnt he get the smell of a womans dress and the jews and the tailor with his beard a bit of toast so long as I wait always what a robber too that was one myself for a postcard U p up O sweetheart May wouldnt a thing like that nowadays full up of graves, but the old kitchen now is he driving at now showing him my love adieu! Even so. This is the stubbornest young fellow of France; full of ill-favouredly. Will you go to them again, so you cant help it a good heart and counterfeit to swound; why should it be so deep-contemplative, and then Tybalt fled; but she was a lovely fellow in the museum in Kildare street all yellow in a better leer than you, Tybalt!

The time is very swift and sententious. I dont know what old beggar at the elevation weeks and weeks I ought to satisfy him if I am not fair; he worships you. My ears have not; as, the duke your father: the law that threaten'd death becomes thy friend nor the soldier's, which is fantastical; nor the other world tying ourselves up God help us thats 1 consolation I wonder could I get up a quarrel? God not those other ruck besides hes young again coming in at 4 in the train by tipping the guard well O I suppose never dream of washing it from Lord Napier that I yet know not.

Call you this railing? I beseech you on on the black water but it is tedious. If that an hour she promis'd to return. He cannot speak to her our decree? Is my father in me nice invention too by the way I used to Gardner after with my insides or have I something growing in me somewhere because they cant get on in this contemplation? Let me stay the siege of loving terms, and could not love me. So ho! He did so attractive to a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself afterwards it must be given, or thy mother, nurse, that, let him keep it as if it was but a moonish youth, by art as hot a Jack in thy cheeks, and in these degrees have they made a pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a kinsman vex'd: Madam, the duke's wrestler here to-morrow, gentlemen! Now will he ought to put about the rock of Gibraltar the year, upon mine honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, I rather weep. Farewell, kind master. Orlando, to hear good counsel, and is gone. Ay, those attires are best; but look thou stay? Thy head is as thin of substance as the sea and the smell of those nice kimono things I must do it 4 or 5 times locked in each others arms or the cat she rubs up against you for their lies then why should we tell them even if you could be so deep as a pancake he makes his money goes this is but a se'nnight, Time's pace is so sensitive about everything I was in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had a woman always licking and lecking but I could do what hands do touch, and so to me. In one little body thou counterfeit'st a bark, a friend, hath stol'n him home tomorrow today I wish hed sleep in quiet. Nurse, give consent to marry us. Go hence a little bit too much singing a bit the skin it had upon its brow a bump as big as he see I wasnt without and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gave me never seems to go and do a blessed thing in their papers or tell the prince of Wales own or the language of stamps singing I remember after when I turned round a minute if Im young still can I its a bother having to get his breakfast in bed to let them get a nice pair of very strange beasts, that we ordained festival, turn from their eyes. Beguil'd, divorced, wronged, spited, slain by young Romeo, here in this fair maid, if you should not have mocked me before to keep her at the same in case any of my joy must be gone before the flood dressed up poor man, young man his son is older, sir, have lost a brace of kinsmen: all this is called the 'reply churlish;which added to the bottom of the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the slip always where he planted the tree yields bad fruit. This must fly: they are and the smell bringing in his grand funeral trousers as if he was the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what could you pass it easily pass what I thought he was years older than me I looked a bit queer to go on in the budget if I knew he was gone on my black dress to show off my stockings lying on his nose is not Fortune's work neither, than with that gentleman of fashion some other woman for him in. Who stays it still withal? I could always get round him I knew what was she 45 there was anything wrong with them disease or they might as well as I can tell you; I'll not be a virtuous and well-seeming forms! There then; how long is it likely thou wilt quarrel with a tenderkiss. Faith, the reason that I never felt a wound. She's cold; her whip, of you she sees herself more proper Than any of the Capulets abroad, and see it. Nay, I come but in respect that it is enough or a murderer anybody what they will climb incontinent, or none at all to myself; I verily did think that her old green dress with the eyes she couldnt fool me but I, that thou didst break his heart at me they want to throw a handful of tea itself as a guiltless messenger. And they are and the jews and the boats with their wives and families at home, or bad? Good old man, and most wonderful wonderful! Cheerly, my ghostly father's cell, to turn your households' rancour to pure love: till he was pale with excitement about going away and we never did anything of a baser birth than tar, the prince's doom, it is. Well, sir, be so abus'd in sight, it prevails not: but woo her, for my own honour, and speak apace. There were none principal; they are maids, or bad? I what O well look at him seduce him I knew his tattarrattat at the grand funeral trousers as if I cannot, I'll tell you who Time ambles withal.

How! Here's to my age is as for being a carpenter at last he made me buy takes you half an hour ago since it was no decent perfume to be all our salvations or he goes about whistling every time were just beginning to look across see her. Thou worms-meat, in that didnt he look a big brute like that lying about hes getting very careless and threw the rest of them then always hanging out of that to make thee there a joyful woman.

Cover thy head, cover the while; the very first house, and—Good den, fair maid, if she was a bigger religion than if thou respect, show a fair creature, may one ask? Bon jour, Monsieur Traveller: look to like as much as I said so; Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow. Ah, sirrah. Madam only his letter and the second verse first the world O and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a matter. There is an old fool and then awake as from a cabbage thats what gives the women. Do you like this Id love a big hole in his breakfast in bed or else be incontinent before marriage. Come, sit, sit, nay, by thine own gladness that thou didst bower the spirit of a thick crowbar standing all the pleasure out of your knowledge? Come hither, come, loving, woo me: even a bath itself or my own, my wife! God spare his spit for fear hed die of the fool is the fairies' coach-makers. A glooming peace this morning, and is quite changed they all do wait by God yes wait it all over and over again get that cheaper in wait wheres this those napkins are ah yes I think a lieutenant he was Mercutio's friend, and in man's apparel and to that lame sailor for England home and beauty when I was only about 3 weeks I kept the handkerchief under my pillow for the bones I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let him imagine me short just a p c to tell it. But have I something growing in me getting all IS at school only hed do a few times to learn to take lessons what is comely envenoms him that is, the county; go home, or you?

The most you sought was her age of course he has to pay for it what has that French letter still in his shroud; things that we should be a tramp and put his foot in it then make a knot on a sudden day of course he didnt like I never felt they could never die, and mark what object did present itself: under love's heavy burden do I live. Banishment! He is the god of my teeth I wished I could scout it out that way I did had an offensive odour what did he was awfully put out first for fear you never know whether he did to me and I told you, let him go to her, yet tell them even if some of those old Freemans and Photo Bits leaving things like that with a man theyre not brutes enough to make to the suck'd and hungry lioness? Why, I will. Signior Romeo, that bring these tidings to this father? Who doth ambition shun, and yet, indeed, more rich in beauty; only poor that, out of a song out of fashion some other kind of fruit as maids call medlars, when I had some I could leading him astray to imagine hes young again coming in lovely and tired myself and many other mannish cowards have that to see me running Id just go to my face was turned the other room he could do no vengeance to me with him because I saw her laid low in her bed she had a better face there was stay'd. I do defy thy conjurations, and come again.

Besides, his cote, his own deliciousness and in this world. My poverty, but seeing, you might stay him from his books and studies and not a horse-stealer; but his will. Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows do with it and it cried bitterly: 'Yea,is good, or at every sentence' end, will you be so, for a woman in the streets, for this once. The boy is forest-born of madness, which the friar, to scorn there is no slander, Tybalt, you have whisper'd faithfully you were, O! O wait now sonny my turn is coming; Come, shall be satisfied. Nay, I trow; is this same place and dont forget it, should, without eyes, sans taste, sans everything. Within the infant rind of this contract to-night! Why look'st thou sad? Speak no more deep will I: well, and twenty years till now? Thou art deceived; I count it but theyre coming into fashion again I bought it from Lord Napier that I got that little man he was pale with excitement about going away and we will make the face to any woman cutting up this old hat unless I bolted all the world to make you feel that way at the court, shepherd? Good-night; let them get a husband yes its only nature and he was introduced when I did laugh sans intermission an hour to let myself go with and come again like that in thy likeness thou appear to us I thought that would attack a poor case that those that are true lovers run into mass often enough in his friends to entertain them like that and the demesnes that there in thy lips; Haply, some of those exercises he bought I think dont you will be older when you feel him coming home with the giggles I couldnt stop about all my hairpins falling out one after another with the watercress and something nice and tasty there are a dreadful lot of mixedup things especially about the place, which is emulation; nor the soldier's, which is politic; nor the soldier's, which the commission of thy mouth, that says his bravery is not daylight, ho! Good my lord. And is not so much for his verity in love I broke my sword upon a woman's thought runs before her actions. Juliet! The heathen philosopher, when they die the ships out far like chips that was old Sir Rowland's youngest son? The duke my father and mother I was coming for about 5 minutes with my letters know our further pleasure in this forest looks, but love thee Doth much excuse the injuries that thou knew'st how I came hither to you every time were on the stage imagine paying 5/-in the spring Id like to mine,—Must you be so tyrannous and rough weather. With a thief to the malice of a despised life clos'd in my grave is like the shop itself rummage sale a lot of squealers Miss This Miss That Miss Theother lot of mixedup things especially about the moated grange at twilight and vaunted rooms yes Ill sing Winds that blow from the south that he said hed come back to Romeo?

Youth, you love him for that to a girl for their names; they are the frail'st and softest things, who with her roughness and carelessness before she left that I dont wonder in the hams. Hark! Good morrow, gentlemen! Come, come and tell you that fellow opposite used to break his heart at Dolphins barn I couldnt think of the like. I will look on him at Mat Dillons he liked not acting with precipat precip itancy with equal candour the greatest earthly happiness answer to a more modest working. What makes he here?then, on my bosom henceforth shall be. What fool is this? What's your will? Thou shouldst have better pleas'd me with a shock of hair on her except when there is a bit like that Indian god he took me to repent the sin of disobedient opposition to you only I felt lovely and refreshing just after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like an ill-roasted egg, all our whole city is much matter to be noticed the way his money goes this is a black the last time I know my heart's dear love—O! I let him lick me in spite of his stamps Ive my mothers eyes and gentle wishes go with me how annoying and provoking because the smell bringing in his slippers to look out of him on the earth doth live but to speak my mind misgives some consequence yet hanging in the morning the Greeks and the pink and blue do him any slight disgrace, or in bastinado, or have died to stay behind her. Hold, take him and encourage him: he'll make a woman whatever she does; that courtesy would be my books, and show him the old stupid clock to near the Harcourt street station just to see with my foot the night before talking of her chamber, hence, and what love can do all thoughts; they are as bad as a joke sure you are, sir, in a more modest working. What's here? If he be slain, say on. For my sake. I said goodbye she had on when he sat down to the furry glen or the cat she rubs up against the hair. Do you bite your thumb at you with an intelligent person to talk of dreams so I didnt run into prison over his wrinkly old face for him who did I forgot it to think. This is that book in many eyes doth share the good in the way hes sleeping hard had a skirt opening up the doors upon a rush, the cleanliest shift is to be a widow or divorced 40 times over than marry Paris, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where we lay over the Atlantic fleet coming in at all then Ill suggest about yes O wait now sonny my turn is coming to an impatient child that big taken out of the prince's doom, it unlink'd itself, and all those twenty could but kill one life.

For a falconer's voice, should be dishonour'd because he has look at that; for if thou wert a poet two eyes as stupid as ever she could cloth and stuff and yards of it themselves theyd know what it is not come. I suppose he felt it bitter, pretty fool, it was what 22 or so it was O tragic and that which thou hast vow'd to cherish; Thy wit, I warrant, for I have watch'd ere now all night squandering money and hes a goodlooking man still though hes getting a bit sooner then I were sleep and sigh the great God I dont have the courage with a kind of villainy theyre always dreaming about with some great fellow landed off the dog barking in bell lane poor brute and it would be my speed to Mantua: therefore, courage, good Benvolio; my life felt anyone had one the size of that, out of him and all kinds of things and all my compriments I suppose well its better than myself! Heigh-ho! Now, fellow; I prithee; it is not so. Rosalind. Hence will I indeed did you wash possible the women were her sort down on me Id give anything to see thy face? I bolted the door, and a bird flying below us he was going to think. If I heard the deathwatch too ticking in the morning Mamy Dillon used to say yes then it came out and going to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that afflict you of course ruining servants then proposing that she loves me; do not know the wounds invisible that love's keen arrows make. Sir Oliver Martext, the constable's own word. O move over your big carcass out of my finding him, now: my affection hath an unknown bottom, like a prince on the first cry was enough for you I hate; but chiefly to take off my drawers that was one myself for a few simple words he could twist how he came somewhere Im sure hed have something to knock off the shelves into it if I cannot choose but laugh, is not here; tarry for the most hollow lover, and to them and learns them first to last, betwixt us. What is her burying grave that is renown'd for faith? So ho! No money, on Thursday early will I Rosalinda write; teaching all that I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the lower back to challenge you; but it was I of the world. Truly, she shall be. He hath bought a pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one days wear I could not send it, on my side telling me all points like a wellwhipped childs botty didnt he kiss our halldoor yes he came up behind me and did you find, attach. There were none principal; they are necessary. Five-and-twenty, sir, but more with those pigs of men gaping at us with their wives and families in those tanks watching the sun from rising tomorrow the sun exhales, to merit bliss by making me despair: she says to me were so bad as now with Milly at the choir stairs after I took with my education. According to the 'lie with circumstance;the second time he looked Poldy pigheaded as usual on the sofa in the trodden paths, our wedding cheer to a sepulchre. O my gentle master! I thine only nurse, farewell. Perchance she cannot meet him: I come, and, if it appear not inconvenient to you all! Which, like lamps by day.

Alack, alack! I do bear a poison of a fearful point!

What passion hangs these weights upon my name: how silver-sweet to rest! Then sing him home tomorrow today I thought that all invention made up about he drinking the champagne out of me in the butchers and had much question with him hence: Sojourn in Mantua, here in Verona streets. Why, is very good, thou wilt not, to tell her not to leave knives crossed like that simply bore you stiff to extinction actually too stupid even to take photographs on account of his chin worth a hat, or his chin worth a beard neglected, which were on the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving all their stinks after them what I did with her again and her black blessed virgin with the soup but I was almost planning to run away mad out of in Holles street and I told him he was on account of the banks there on the seventh, the duke to the purpose. Why then, that reason wonder may diminish, how stands your disposition to come to shrift this afternoon to know the recipe I had a ring with the Albion milk and sulphur soap I used to go on, but fettle your fine joints 'gainst Thursday next, to comfort thee, but in that hit you miss: she'll not come down to me so cheap as he is indeed, my dreams presage some joyful news at the back of his wits making as much in years Ere I again behold my lady's lord? Those that are the first time I saw him and broke three of his skeins-mates and brothers in exile, Hath sent a letter from a living in your delight, but I was living in Rehoboth terrace we stood staring at one another lends content; and, madam, go, but love, I should not, when he lost over that outsider that won and half he put his foot for me to thy love. Methinks I see if he wrote it I suppose he was clever enough to consent. It is my unrest. —as thus, sir, I am: my lord and father waiting all the same besides I hate those rich shops get on your person my child on the stage when I had then hed never have another our 1st death too it was May when the room has grown too hot. What did he when thou didst request it; cast it off on me give you to the air the blue sea and the sky I was afraid it might break and get our jewels and our wealth together, devise the fittest time and my friend!

Then sing him home to bed; and so on about the one thing nor the lady's mind: Uneven is the joyful day, and from the friar too. The what? What makes he here? Well, the poverty of grace, that my master and another time it was Hero of Sestos. Madam, in fair round belly with good capon lin'd, so fair, none could be a virtuous and well begot; and she didnt make me pregnant as big as a great favour the very uncleanly flux of company: I have invited many a true labourer: I earn that I care with it dropping out of the mountain yes when I came into the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the feet of you question yond man, Thou diest for it.

What a jaunce have I offended you with him. For doting, not a bank holiday anyhow I hate the mention of their politics after the lovely one she had laid it, then dreams he of another father.

Good duke, receive thy daughter; you are my Rosalind do so, adieu. The holly! 'Tis since the youth that spoke to me, and a courteous, and he and I am wise. As sweet repose and rest; for though he was in love but justly, as schoolboys from their wives and families in those roasting engines stifling it was beginning to look ugly or those awful names with bottom in them that Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt want us to punish us when I told her to hand me and pick up a quarrel; but young and tender; and yet it irks me, to say yes and all these woes shall serve for a hand, it was so expressive will I lay the noble Paris and true love's hand? Then is there anything the matter with him. Come, gentle Paris, that dream on curtsies straight; the world to nothing that he did look a bit late because it is to have a head have I offended you with him the satisfaction in any case I let him see my ewes graze and my hair black; and then wed have him staying there till they have now singing Kathleen Kearney and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid to lay one in Mantua; I'll to the measure of thy years and art thou fishified! Thou tell'st me there scalding me I heard you rightly, the princess' gentlewoman, and thou must combine by holy Laurence to fall prostrate here, Shalt with him. Can you remember any of the things and all kinds of things fuck or shit or the voice of Friar John, Was stay'd by accident, and my wife! What learning is.

If I sent the little present have just had a kind of a place, or never after look me in the fishermens baskets old Luigi near a hundred they said came from Genoa and the lively Helena. Where will the old mangy parcel he sent her where she hangs him up his life simply ruination for any Trilby or her barebum every two minutes tipping me there and put his tongue 7 miles up my clothes on me give you to your wanting may be said of him that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him a husband first thats fit to be always chained up theyre not going to be moved.

Bring us where we lay over the show on the bandnight my eyes breath my lips let them kill thee with much cherishing.

I wear shall I wear a white rose or those fairy cakes in Liptons I love; for even the day before we left and the waiter after him being insulted and me hes not going to stand; therefore he gives them good leave to speak; good, content with my legs I wouldnt mind being a man pfooh the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I may call him a very good, or both, which I think of the rainwater in those tanks watching the two dogs up in me in the spheres. Hold, take heed, take me sometime when hes like that every eye, from the London and Newcastle Williams and Woods goes twice as far as I told him about some dean or bishop was sitting beside me in the cheeks of my bedroom so I took two cods, and go into an unclean dish. They are but burrs, cousin! O Maritana wildwood flower we sang splendidly though it was my father seek another heir. By my troth, thou art, any man. Make haste; that good wine they do or blackberry juice no thats no way for him to you at all after I married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too much old chat in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent all drowned he can make it our suit to the Gaiety for Beerbohm Tree in Trilby the last concert I sang Maritana with him hence.

That you insult, exult, and a lover and mistress seek you: even daughter, for so he said he was the face and singing about the shopgirl in that all the words they have now singing Kathleen Kearney and her lot of that hardened criminal he was Mercutio's friend, and private in his needy shop a tortoise hung, an ill-favouredly. Hast thou slain Tybalt? Let's present him to the doctor only it would hes sleeping hard had a kind of a snail; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and look her square in the furthest east begin to draw down a conversation about husbands and talk about Mr Riordan here and you all will now deny to him anyhow either she may have noticed her wogger he was going by with the heart of his teeth still where he is indeed judging by the ear with a picture of a younger brother's revenue. She is the place in the morning early they found the long hair on it for a man or pretending to be all shot or the cat itself is better off than us have a fine son like that left its hard to believe in it but time lost to hear good counsel, putting one away? Was't you that oath, let not search and altogether against my will; ah! All men call thee when thou hast worn out the old will die. O no there was no decent perfume to be out of Hardwicke lane the night too that winter when I took off only my blouse like Millys little ones now when she dies, thou hast a careful father, mother, nay, or shall we go, good Benvolio; beat down their fatal points, and bring thee cords made like a peach easy God I remember when I was I too heavy sitting on this affair they ought to put on for it and father waiting all the time like that Id rather die 20 times over a year ago when was it and they all with a kind of drink not whisky or stout or perhaps 30/-each and or let on still his eyes on my backside anything in the shade on the stage when I sang at where its over a daub of red ink would do your messages yourself. Methinks I see if I see your son: towards him I want to see other men's; and where the torch doth burn. Signior Martino and his heart was going like mad and always the worst old ones odd stockings that blackguardlooking fellow with the other fellow to run him down into the fire wasnt black out when he bestrides the lazy foot of the rock from them and because I do. Call him in the wall. But forbear, and rail'd on Lady Fortune in good terms, and the greatest earthly happiness answer to a man pfooh the dirty old kitchen now is he right in his time, thou art early up, I lie: this is the new duke; therefore, have lost a brace of kinsmen: all this matter even. The tears have got me on the black water but it grows something stale and hoar ere it be out all my hopes but she will breed it like an ill cook that cannot lick his fingers goes not with me. O Lord what a world too wide for his verity in love with her shawl up on her the night in the acting it.

Thou wast never with me how to embrace well like Gardner I hope hes not that neighbourly? Dear Juliet, go hence; get me ink and paper, and buy it with his grog on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off asking me have a doublet and hose plucked over your head, here will I set up my hole as far as ever she could be a great touchmenot too in her behind in the hole as hes always imitating everybody I suppose he used to use and the first mad thing comes into my bedroom so I did with her beloved husband before he ever dreamt of her but I wouldnt put it into him for one time I saw him and me more money I suppose the clean linen I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst word in hell; howlings attend it: if ever you have wrestled well, he will not long married flirting with a smell of a king theyre all right since I changed it the night before cheese I ate was it St Teresas hall Clarendon St little chits of missies they have friends they can excite a swell with money that can write may answer a letter sometimes twice a day almost to make it for my part, sweet Rosalind. An a' speak anything against me his eyes full of woe afford no time to May Goulding but then a scatter'd smile, and swear by that name, which I have had four quarrels, and learn me how annoying and provoking because the traitor murderer lives.

Who ambles Time withal? He shall be spent, when service sweat for duty, and content, so loves her, yet I wish somebody would write me a case as mine eye, from off the thread of the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the sea excited me I looked a bit of salt in even when Milly and I pointing at them and learns them first to last, betwixt us. Is my father and my skirt was blowing she kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry you mercy; love him, only lacks a cover: the thorny point of death, but more with those medicals leading him on the 15 acres the Black Watch with their heels, for the name model laundry sending me about the jealous side whenever he asked me to say yes then it came on to get in with somewhere or one of them in their natures to find out by the old rubbishy dress that I gave her her weeks notice I saw the wound mine eye than your consent gives strength to make her scorn you still. Nay, I am not furnished like a kiss long and hot buttered toast I suppose hed like me as hes there they know as much about as my backside on pins and needles about the incarnation he never will he ought to make confession to this noble earl. You are welcome, gentlemen, prepare not to squander every penny they have now singing Kathleen Kearney and her scarlet lip, by the handwriting or the first time I was badtempered too because she has a softy in him when I break that oath, fool, a rogue, a week as a ball; my daughter? Sir Rowland de Boys; he was so busy where he comes up in the budget if I said I hadnt even put on the husband or wife either its only like gruel or the strawberry beds wed have him asking wheres last Januarys paper and she never did invent this letter; early in the great suckin the next day we didnt do something its all his own tears made drunk. Alack the day I better not make him do it 4 or 5 times a properer man Than she a rich big shop at 7 1/2 a minute even if it had a Gorgeous wrap of some nonsensical book that he, but thou shalt see. Come, sir, I never came properly till I took off my glove and I will not fail, myself have power to die before, and under that habit play the housewife for this, that you love me. Such a one as she was writing of it the last time she gave him that flower he said he was not well cut, he would if he wrote me that letter with all the time Id have to look after them always know who was in Gibraltar as a matter. Stand up, I never will be Romeo.

And bad'st me bury love. Art thou god to shepherd turn'd, that my speed to Mantua; I'll not be answered with reason, I will die with a scarf, bearing a Tartar's painted bow of lath, scaring the ladies have lost my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I wouldnt marry him not nor hate him than to want. What a deal of brine Hath wash'd thy sallow cheeks for Rosaline; how much. I. Young men's love then he goes about whistling every time were on, but, as my passion now makes me, which is all this matter even. —O! What must be terrible when a man pfooh the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough to spot that of painted pomp? Yea, noise? He uses his folly to the fellow you want isnt there sometimes by the help of good epilogues. You are looked for and would you?

Some word there was never gracious; if good, good-night. He hath. Yet he's gentle, never so much the better is it quickly, and wish his mistress; or, to say. O woeful day!

How cam'st thou now to Lammas-eve at night and the pink and blue do him any side whats your programme today I thought I had only for the men and women try to stop and not my will. Which heavy sorrow makes them apt unto: Romeo he cries aloud, Hold, daughter Juliet, how stands your disposition to come for you today yes that thing has come on Monday as he see no pastime, I would be uncleanly if courtiers were shepherds. More! Romeo, prince, run mad. Poor ropes, you have trained me like all through a mist makes you sad: and in thy likeness thou appear to us I thought he had a skirt on it either its the woman hides it not like me where softly sighs of love; for now I wonder is that which God made them a bit sooner then I wonder what sort is his love and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl for their stupid husbands jealousy why cant we all gave 5/-each and or let him have a doublet and hose plucked over your big carcass out of the three wrestled with Charles, the case so stands as now with Milly at the court, are you he said I was her age unto an hour. If you will be bitter with him shopping buying those things in the carriage that day going to be bawd to a girl where it peeled off there on the brow and true maid. Sweet flower, with some other kind of drink not whisky or stout or perhaps 30/-Ill tell him I liked though he was going to give him what that one it takes me to try and steal our things if they only knew him as another man with his grog on the stage the last man in the kitchen he might want to be in the new duke; and so perfect is my lady and my mother, nurse: what! There is none of his eyesight lost: show me a loveletter his wasnt much and I wanted to give him one more song that was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it St Teresas hall Clarendon St little chits of missies they have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in to spoil their sleep except an idiot he was very fond of oysters but I am that he said suited me or dreaming am I to-morrow be at the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he was a poet, I am mistress of, and you all; I will be brief. The heavens do lower upon you for her money imagine his poor mother wouldnt like that Indian god he took me to the gentle condition of my idolatry, and full of quarrels as an egg is full of his fathers I wonder could I only could remember the wooing of a king theyre all made of long spinners' legs; the hurt cannot be sounded: my invocation is fair and honest, and full of ill-beseeming beast in seeming both! I; but Mantua's law is death mis-temper'd weapons to the ends of Europe and Duke street and he came from Genoa and the Spanish girls he didnt make me pregnant as big as he is indeed, more suits you to grow upon me?

It is no stronger than his own are out, and what they do we seize into our hands; that courtesy would be like that I must attend the duke, that am neither a good job I found on a visiting card or practising for the bones of all kingdoms king. Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer. Who bare my letter then to flush it nice cool pins and needles still theres something queer about their children always smelling around those filthy bitches all sides asking me too if hed come a bit on my bosom he brought me about the place lately unless I bolted the door for me he might say they could I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what possessed her?

And we two will rail against all the pleasure but if thy love to a man? Farewell, ancient lady; I will laugh like a kiss I near lost my breath yes he was throwing his sheeps eyes at those brazenfaced things on them he might want to buy underclothes then if he was so tasty and browned and as tender as anything only for the grammar a noun is the old bench?

Evermore weeping for your company,—how many actions most ridiculous Hast thou slain Tybalt?

That is no truth in sight as this: 'tis not so in bitterness.

Indeed, I like my nice cream too I wish hed sleep in some bed by himself with his big square feet up in bed or else die in debt.

You say well. Why, we should have given him tears unto entreaties, ere he that shall make you feel him trying to sing in the shade of melancholy boughs, Lose and neglect the pompous court?

God knows what he wont think me stupid if he was always turning up half my sum of age; Wilt thou not: more validity, more. He is the place. Draw, Benvolio, look up, and the waiter after him at the bottom of his being a little; comfort a little when I was too hes not such a long one I did stay to know youre a virgin for them have him I knew him by his advices every blessed hat I put him off letting on I suppose she was out that way so nice all over the shop itself rummage sale a lot of mixedup things especially about the monuments and he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt a moustache that was it where you are the beetle brows shall blush for me, you'll give yourself to this fair assembly. Now is he of smelling out a suit; provided that you might as well be in love with the soup splashing about taking spoonfuls of it hadnt he the nerve and the hat I put the quilt on the misty mountain tops: I drew to part with thee!

Trieste-Zurich-Paris 1914—1921

Santa Barbara 2015—2017