#and it’s really hard expressing what songs are about

[mirai-e-jump]

Animage October 2024 Issue Kamen Rider Gavv ft. Chinen Hidekazu & Sugihara Teruaki (translations below)

Publication: September 10, 2024

The Strange Sweets Kamen Rider

The 6th Reiwa Kamen Rider is the first ever to use a sweets motif! The cast and staff talk about the behind the scenes of the birth of the new hero who fascinates us with a gap between poppin visuals and its heavy filling!!

Having passed out due to hunger, Shouma, who comes from another world, was saved by a human boy named Hiroi Hajime. Shouma was in a difficult situation when he confronts the Granute, a monster who wants to kill Hajime, but when he "sets & eats" the familiar like creatures called Gochizo in the mouth on his stomach, he transforms into Kamen Rider Gavv and crushes the Granute. This was the beginning of Shouma's battle to protect humans.

The latest entry in the Kamen Rider series, "Kamen Rider Gavv" only just started in September. Despite the poppin imagery and visuals of sweets as its motif, this is a hard and serious drama that depicts the lonely battle of a young man named Shouma, who hides a grand past and mystery behind him.

This production features Takebe Naomi-san as the Producer, Sugihara-san as the pilot Director who determines the direction of the work, Komura Junko-san as Screenwriter, and Fujita Satoshi-san as Action Director, all of whom have worked on the Kamen Rider and Super Sentai series. In particular, Sugihara-san and Komura-san are the pair that gained attention for their work in "Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger" and the fans are expressing their expectations.

The story of a fierce battle between the sweets Kamen Rider and the Granute monsters has only just begun, so don't miss a moment of the birth of a new Kamen Rider legend! _

Chinen Hidekazu (Shouma)

The first transformation born from an extreme situation

-Supported by dependable friends and the Director-

"Please tell us your impression of the Kamen Rider series."

Chinen: For me, I've admired Kamen Riders since I was a child, and I love them so much that they're the first thing that comes to mind when people ask, "Who's your hero?" I've lived my whole life dreaming of becoming a Kamen Rider, so I was really happy when I was chosen to be Shouma.

"Are there any works that you find particularly memorable?"

Chinen: It's hard to pick a single work from my generation since I'm so attached to all of them, but……I think "Kamen Rider OOO" might be the one I was particularly enthusiastic about when watching. The dialogue between Hino Eiji and Ankh was interesting, and even as a child the ending made me think, so including its theme song, it's my favorite work. Lately however, I've been super into "Kamen Rider Den-O" (laughs). I'm watching it from the perspective of learning why it became so popular, but I also like Den-O because of Satoh Takeru's (who plays Nogami Ryotaro) amazing performance in which he plays multiple different personalities.

"What kind of person do you feel Shouma is?"

Chinen: I read the script so much that it felt like I was watching myself, as I thought that Shouma was so similar to me. We're very similar in the way that we're abit out of the loop, but also curious and get into the things that interest us. I was glued to the TV when I was a child, and I'd become so engrossed when watching it, that I couldn't even listen to what my mother was saying. However, I feel like I'm far removed from him in terms of his guts and inner strength, his desire to save people even at the risk of his own life, and his ability to fight the enemy. Playing the role of Shouma gives me energy and makes me aspire to be like him.

"We think another feature of this production is that right now, Shouma doesn't have a fixed place to stay, and that he comes into contact with a variety of people wherever he goes."

Chinen: I think alot of people are curious to see what happens next, as so far in Gavv, the story continues to be dominated by Shouma's easygoingness and the fact that we don't know what he's thinking. He seems to have a connection with Sachika-san, who he met in episode 2, so what happens to them in the future is a big point to watch out for!

"Please tell us your impressions of Sachika and the person who plays her, Miyabe Nozomi-san."

Chinen: Miyabe-san is a very refined person, so when we first met at script reading, I was shocked and said, "This person's gonna be a gyaru?!" (laughs). One of the things I like about Miyabe-san is that her mannerisms show the quality of her upbringing, but the more we talked, she really started to look like a gyaru, and I felt that performing together with her was amazing. Sachika-san leaves a strong impression of being a gyaru, but on the inside, she's a stable girl who's able to understand the feelings of others. Seeing her say with a refreshing smile, "I think it's good for everyone to be happy," Shouma respects her and thinks, "She's such a wonderful person" and "I want to be like her," almost like she's the embodiment of peace. When I read the script, I always feel supported and say, "Sachika-san, thank you."

"Shouma's brother sister like relationship with her is also very interesting."

Chinen: Director Sugihara Teruaki said to me, "It's like a dog and his owner" (laughs). Still, I think that Sachika-san's all encompassing kindness, and Shouma's simple mindedness are a great combination, and we're also playing the roles with confidence.

"He's yet to interact with Shouma, but we think the role Hanto plays will also be another highlight to look forward to."

Chinen: In some ways, Hanto is also easygoing, but he's the compassionate, hot blooded type, and he too lives by carrying something on his back. I hope you'll look forward to seeing how Shouma and Hanto, who are completely different types of people, interact with each other and what they'll think of each other in their first meeting. Hino Yusuke-kun, who plays Hanto, is the mood maker who makes the set feel relaxed, which is a gap between him and Hanto, but I feel that we're similar in our passion for the production and performance, and the way we put our all into something. To me, Hino-kun is a rival but also like a reliable big brother, and we often consult with each other and visit each other's houses (laughs).

"What were your impressions of Director Sugihara, who also directed the first two episodes as the pilot Director?"

Chinen: As I had no experience in acting, Director Sugihara is a respected teacher who taught me how to perform from the ground up, including how to read the script, and he's like a father figure from Tokyo. He understands each actor's personality and gives them advice accordingly, and he's an amazing person who draws out our potential, so every time I'm on set, I feel happy to film under Director Sugihara. He's a Director I really love.

"Before filming, it seems that you and the Director practiced vocalization together."

Chinen: Yes, even before I could act, my voice wouldn't come out (laughs). I'm really grateful that he took time out of his busy schedule to watch me one on one, and it was an important turning point that led to something changing in me. I want to grow so that people will feel that I'll have changed over the coming year, and one of my goals is to give an inspiring performance that'll be recognized by Director Sugihara with, "You gave it your all."

-Aiming to be as cool as Nawata-san-

"Kamen Rider Gavv, who Shouma transforms into, has a motif based on gummies and other sweets."

Chinen: When I saw the illustration depicted in the proposal, I thought it was incredibly simple, however, my opinion changed when I saw it in person. The armor on the chest and shoulders have a gradient so that it shines beautifully when light hits it, and there's a playful gimmick where a squishy dent will form when it's pressed, so a bunch of detail has been carefully put into it. I'm now so attached to it, that I can't think of anyone else but Gavv. Personally, what I want you to pay attention to the most are the feet. The feet are actually clawed, and this slightly animal like aspect is an important element of the show, so I'd be happy if you make sure to pay attention to the feet as well.

"What's your impression of Nawata Yuya-san, Gavv's Suit Actor?"

Chinen: Nawata-san is an actor who I shape Shouma together with, and he's an indispensable person to me, as I'm able to talk to him about problems that I can't talk about with the other cast members or the Director. He also taught me about acting, like how to create the mood and how to read the script. I'm grateful to Nawata-san's action, as I think Gavv's appeal has tripled, and I feel like the show itself has also become more brilliant.

"Does that also get you enthusiastic about the post transformation dub recording?"

Chinen: That's right. The recording process is more difficult than normal acting because you have to use only your voice to express your emotions and fight scenes in accordance with the footage. In episodes 1 and 2, I had to rerecord so many times that I lost the strength in my voice, and it took twice as long as the planned time (bitter smile). As well as the performances of my seniors in the Kamen Rider series, I also studied the game "Street Fighter" based on the advice of Director Sugihara, and now I feel like I'm getting by. I'll work more diligently to make Nawata-san's performance 120% more appealing with my voice performance, and to become a Shouma who's just as cool after his transformation into Gavv.

"One of the real thrills of the Kamen Rider series are the transformation scenes, but how did you create the pose?"

Chinen: The transformation pose was decided through a discussion between myself, Action Director Fujita Satoshi, Director Sugihara, and Nawata-san. It's a movement that involves rotating your arm, but the final version, which we created after discussing the angles and timing with everyone to make sure it looked cool and appealing, is the transformation pose used in episode 2. Depending on the story, he could transform quickly, so I hope people watch the way he changes based on the situation.

"In the episodes up to this point, the action leading up to the first transformation in the first episode is a scene that can't be ignored when talking about Shouma. There was some action involving wires, and we were also impressed by his performance as he was gradually being cornered by the Granute."

Chinen: That scene was prepared weeks before the shoot, as Director Sugihara and Action Director Fujita came up with a really cool direction. The scene where Shouma is beaten was especially important to give depth to the reason for his transformation, as it took two days to film. In the end, it was in the most extreme situation I had ever experienced in my life, my performance came out unconsciously, and I was complemented with, "Your facial expressions were very good." I could've never done it on my own, the scene was made possible by the advice of Director Sugihara and Nawata-san, who worked beside me, and by all the staff members who created an environment that allowed me to concentrate on my performance.

"It makes us want to go back and pay attention to the expressions on your face. Finally, please tell us your goals throughout filming of Kamen Rider Gavv."

Chinen: I'd like to learn alot about action from Action Director Fujita, Nawata-san and everyone else on the Action Team, and I'd like to improve my acting skills. I've never been in an environment where I could spend an entire year with people who are so good at captivating others, and I don't think it'll ever happen again in the future. I hope to make full use of this experience so that in the next year, I can be an actor who can do it all, from acting to action and recording, so I'll do my best to do what's in front me!

Director Sugihara Teruaki

The vibrant world Shouma comes across

-A dark story with colorful visuals-

"When did you first hear that you'd be the pilot Director?"

Sugihara: I'm pretty sure it was around last Fall, when I was working on the drama, "Tokyo MPD: From Zero to Hero," I received a phone call from Producer Takebe Naomi-san who said, "I'd like to meet and talk with you at once." I heard from a separate matter that Takebe-san would be in charge of the next Kamen Rider, and at the time, I thought I was going to be the second Director, but when I met her, she said, "You're the pilot Director." (laughs).

"At the stage when Director Sugihara joined, how much of the content in the show was decided on?"

Sugihara: Aside from the sweets and monsters motif, we'd yet to decide on the content of the story and the personalities and relationships of the characters. In the beginning, we were a small group consisting of the Producer team's Takebe-san and Takishima Minami-san, Screenwriter Komura Junko-san, and myself. Our three parties worked out the content by sharing ideas from our respective perspectives.

"What specific ideas did Director Sugihara have in mind? Personally, we felt that the visuals of the characters, including their costumes, incorporated the Director's ideas."

Sugihara: You can assume that I'm basically in charge of visual aspects like the impression and fashion. For Shouma's fashion in particular, during the rather early stages, I'd draw an illustration and say, "How about something like this?," and I'd have them look at it while I created his character.

"Not just Shouma's clothes, but also the interior of Hapipare is rich in color, so much so that it's unusual for the Kamen Rider series."

Sugihara: I told artist Fukuzawa Katsuhiro that I wanted to make the visuals as bright and pop as much as possible. Kamen Rider Gavv itself isn't meant to be a continuation of the "ism" seen in the first generation of Kamen Rider, but it includes themes like family conflict and Shouma's sad separation from his mother, so the content is heavy. Because of this, we made the impression of the colors vivid, and were careful to not make them too dark. Moreover, being in the human world for the first time, Shouma's a kid who's impressed by everything he sees, so I was conscious of the world captured from Shouma's point of view and to use rather flashy colors. Conversely, the Granute World and Stomach Family use muted colors, or to just say it outright, they have dirty colors.

"What do you value in your expression of Shouma, the main character?"

Sugihara: I wanted to depict Shouma as a pure kid, someone who suddenly comes to the human world and finds everything he sees as fresh. On the inside, he's not much different from Hajime, who he first meets in the human world, in fact, he's much more of a child than that kid. So he ponders over what he's been told, hurt by the casual mention of "monster" and afraid of hurting others, he's unable to be together with someone else, so he leaves Hajime and Sachika and goes elsewhere. However, I didn't want to make it too dark, so it was hard to depict (laughs). While he carries a dark side, I want him to be a kid who's always smiling when he's with someone, even if he has to force himself to smile.

"This Shouma is beautifully embodied by Chinen Hidekazu-san."

Sugihara: The best thing about Chinen-kun is that he looks great on camera. That's the kind of talent an actor has. Also, the expressions on his face when he eats are really good. Even though he's eating food he usually sees all the time, he eats it like it's a delicacy, looking as if he's eating something he's never seen before and is impressed. In that sense, I think he was the right choice to play Shouma. Still, since this is roughly his first performance, he had to start from a place where he couldn't express his emotions properly, and to begin with, he couldn't even vocalize. I had Chinen-kun stand on one end of Toei's rooftop, and I stood on the opposite end and had him deliver his lines. I gave him relentless acting instruction from the very beginning (laughs). Filming started earlier than usual, so we've already shot several episodes, and I feel that he can now stand proudly in front of the camera as Shouma. With each episode his performance and facial expressions are getting better and better. I have high expectations for his growth over the next year.

-Dedicated action that make the most of the motif-

"We felt that the vibes of Gavv's everyday scenes were different from that of previous Kamen Rider series, but was there anything you were conscious of in your direction?"

Sugihara: In my mind, I had a bright, pop like feeling, but during filming, Chinen-kun……it was important to me how to capture Shouma and the human world from his point of view. I may have only been thinking, "How can I get a good shot of him?"

"In that sense, it's interesting to think that the entire production is being pulled along by Shouma and Chinen-san."

Sugihara: That's right. This is especially true for the first episode, as the story unfolds from Shouma's point of view, so I was conscious of the fact that I wanted to bring the viewers perspective as close as possible to Shouma's.

"Despite the battle scenes also having a fancy sweets motif, from the very first episode, we were taken back by the intense physical battle depicted between Gavv and the Granute."

Sugihara: I'm pretty sure it was Action Director Fujita Satoshi who put out the idea of a serious fistfight at a container warehouse, and with sword fighting in a narrow space. We specified the colors and placement of the containers, and asked the people on location to arrange them accordingly. From there, Fujita and I talked in detail about the composition of the action, and we put it together by discussing the angles while adding in our own ideas as we filmed on site.

"We heard that you and Fujita-san worked closely together to create this."

Sugihara: I also like action quite abit, so I tell Fujita various things like, "Do this sort of thing." Naturally, Fujita has alot of things he wants to do as well, so the two of us are working together to come up with ideas for action sequences and angles.

"Including Gavv's own actions, the way he fights while "eating" the Gochizo is unique."

Sugihara: It was decided in advance that the transformation items Gochizo would appear alot like that of "Pikmin" and "Minions," so I thought it'd be better to use alot of them. Because of that, when Gavv takes damage, his armor breaks and he'll eat the Gochizo one after another……we're calling it "follow up sweets," and I think it'd be interesting to keep changing sweets and repair them as he fights.

"The standard Poppingummy Form has flexible armor, while Zakuzakuchips Form's sword weapon can easily break depending on how it's used, and the use of sweets as a motif was also visually enjoyable."

Sugihara: Inspiration for the action comes from discussions that are almost like casual conversations. I thought about how things like thin baked snacks such as potato chips might be weak to side attacks (laughs). Also, unlike other Kamen Riders, we don't use bullet impacts on Gavv when we depict him being hit (mechanism that detonates gunpowder that's attached to the performer). In his setup, the armor is derived from sweets generated by his own body, so we tried to create the effect of small bead like things flying around him. During filming, we've been throwing beads into the air from the side of the camera. In that sense, it may have a new visual feel.

"What scenes from episodes 1 and 2 were particularly powerful?"

Sugihara: In terms of taking the most time, I'd say it was before the transformation in the first episode. When I was thinking about Shouma's human image, Takebe-san said, "I don't want him to be a hero who fights just because he has powers." You don't fight just because you have the power to become a Kamen Rider, there's a will to fight, and that's where the power comes in. I wanted to create an image of a hero who's able to transform into Gavv because it's Shouma. Since the time of the script meeting, we had talked about how we wanted to portray a different kind of strength from that of the everyday Shouma, who keeps going despite being beaten up by someone he can't even stand up to. On set, Chinen-kun and I worked together to find out why Shouma was feeling that way, and we worked on his facial expressions and gestures one by one, and I was quite persistent throughout filming. We were supposed to film the transformation scene in one day, but we took too long and didn't get to the transformation, so I had to apologize to the staff (laughs).

"Finally, please tell us your enthusiasm for the future."

Sugihara: Honestly, I have no idea how Kamen Rider Gavv will conclude a year from now, but I want to make a show that'll make people who watched it think, "Gavv was interesting." For this reason, I'd also like to delve deeper into Shouma and Hanto, and Sachika and the others characters, and to make each of them appealing. I'm sure that Komura-san will come up with some great developments (laughs), and for my part, I hope that I can take advantage of that, and as the pilot Director for the first time in a long time, to create images that people watching in their living rooms have never seen before.

[rosemariiaa]

~In this Unsaid~

pairing: Paige x Azzi

a/n: yea.. we’re here again and not at part 6 of my other fic, i procrastinate too much but i will start writing the chapter tomorrow 💌 also a tag for my baby ke @thaatdigitaldiary because she’s a lot of help and loves listening to me yap 💌

Song: Welcome and Goodbye- Dream, Ivory

theme- angst

Enjoy!!!

The gym echoes with the laughter of teammates, but all Paige could hear was the pounding of her heart. She sat on the bleachers and glared, watching Azzi joke and laugh with the others. It was maddening how easily they seemed to connect while she felt the weight of many unsaid words pressing down.

After practice, as the group began to go their separate ways, Paige found Azzi leaning against the wall, arms crossed, a mask of indifference hiding the storm underneath. Taking a breath that felt heavy in her chest, Paige finally approached the brunette.

“Why do you keep pretending everything’s fine?” The words slipped out, sharper than she intended.

Azzi didn’t look up. She couldn’t. Her gaze was fixed on the floor. “I’m not pretending. Just… tired, I guess.”

“Tired of what? Me? Us?” Paige stepped closer, frustration bubbling. “Because I can’t keep doing this back-and-forth. It’s exhausting Az.” Finally, Azzi met her gaze, anger flaring. “You think I want to feel like this? You think I enjoy watching you pull away?”

“Then why don’t you say something? Anything. I just want to know how you feel.”

“What do you want me to say?” Azzi’s voice trembled. “That I can’t stop thinking about you? That every time I see you, it hurts because I know it’s not enough?”

Paige’s heart dropped at the confession. “It’s not enough for me either. I keep wishing we could just… figure it out.”

“But we never do!” Azzi exclaimed, her voice cracking. “We keep circling around this, and it’s killing me. I’m scared of losing you completely.”

Paige felt tears prick her eyes. “You won’t lose me. I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t keep waiting for you to decide what you want.”

Azzi swallowed hard, voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe I already know, but I don’t know how to say it.”

Oh.

The silence stretched, heavy with unspoken truths. Paige took a step closer, the distance between them feeling both tantalizingly close and impossibly far. She could feel the heat radiating off Azzi, tension crackling like static.

Before the moment could dissolve, the buzzer sounded, signaling the end of practice. The spell broke, leaving only the echoes of their conversation hanging in the air.

———-

Days blurred as Paige prepared to leave for a tournament. The night before her departure, she lays in bed, staring at the ceiling, thoughts of Azzi flooding her mind like a tide pulling her under. They’d both been avoiding each other since that confrontation, and the silence felt like a chasm between them.

The next morning, at the airport, she felt her heart in her throat as she spotted Azzi across the terminal, standing like a beacon in the chaos. Paige’s breath hitched, a mix of longing and dread washing over her.

Azzi walked over, her expression a careful mask. “You came,” she said softly.

“I had to,” Paige replied, voice trembling. “I didn’t want to leave things like this.”

They stood there, surrounded by bustling travelers, but it was just them in that moment. The noise faded into the background as they locked eyes.

“This doesn’t feel real,” Paige said, struggling to hold back tears. “Like, I’m really leaving, and we’re just… here.”

Azzi’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears. “I hate this. I hate that it always ends like this.”

“I thought things would change. That we’d find a way to make it work,” Paige’s voice was thick with emotion.

“And what if we don’t? What if this is just… it? Another goodbye?” Azzi’s voice cracked, the vulnerability tearing at Paige’s heart.

“I don’t want it to be. I wish I could take you with me, but…” Paige’s words faltered, a sob threatening to escape.

“But you can’t. I can’t. It’s never been that easy for us,” Azzi replied, her tone heavy with resignation. Paige stepped closer, desperation in her gaze. “I’ll always care about you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, but caring isn’t enough.” Azzi’s voice broke as tears slipped down her cheeks.

As Paige stepped back, silence enveloped them, thick with everything left unspoken. She turned to leave but paused, glancing back one last time. Their eyes met, filled with unvoiced feelings, aching and raw.

“Maybe next time we’ll finally say what we mean,” Paige whispered.

“And what if next time never comes?” Azzi’s voice was barely a breath, filled with dread.

With that, Paige turned and walked away, each step feeling like a piece of her heart was left behind. The weight of goodbye settled in, a haunting melody that would follow her long after she left.

The air felt colder without Azzi’s presence. As Paige walked towards her gate, the echo of their unfinished story lingered in her mind—a welcome and a goodbye, forever intertwined, lost in the spaces they could never seem to bridge.

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Last, Last Time

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)

WC: ~7.3k

TW: Angst, guns, violence, mentions of domestic violence, blood, swearing, depression, kidnapping, manipulation, self-deprecating thoughts, heartbreak, arguing, the grieving process, drinking, screaming, crying, sobbing, throwing up, being under pressure, and anything else that comes with a criminal minds episode.

a/n: based on S15 E6 - first date. I love u aubrey plaza <3. Also inspired by the song Last, Last Time by Boys Go To Jupitar. writing this was a little bit of a catharsis since it's one of the first things I've been able to write. I'm sorry I've been so m.i.a., i just moved to a new country and that has been a crazy experience. But to cope with that, enjoy some gut-wrenching angst!

Spencer Masterlist

“Spencer I won’t—I can’t keep doing this. I’m sick of arguing in circles.” 

“Y/n…”

“I-I feel like you take me for fucking granted Spencer. All I do is work and then come home and wait for you to actually be able to, I don’t know, sleep in the same bed as me for more than four hours.”

The look in his eyes almost took you out but your heart had already been broken long, long before this argument. If anything, you were starting to feel this sense of freedom as you broke his heart. 

“Please. Y/n. Just–I don’t—Just give me a few days to convince Hotch to let me have some time off and we can work on this please.” 

“Wait for the potential of us?” 

Spencer’s jaw loosened. You couldn’t read beyond the initial layer of pain and confusion, which made your chest ache since not too long ago you could have been able to find everything you needed in his expression.

“God Spencer this can’t be fucking news to you. We’ve been drifting apart for months now.” 

“I know, I know. You have been so patient with me and I’ve just been….there was that whole thing with Cat and then….I-I was trying so hard y/n…”

“No, first there was that whole thing with Maeve.”

“That’s not fair—”

“Oh that’s not fair? Really? You’re going to tell me the entire Maeve thing isn’t fair to you?”

“I’m sorry.”

You sighed and closed your eyes. “I’m not saying you weren’t trying but come one Spencer. There’s no need to deny this shit anymore. I hate it when you lie to me about these kinds of things.” 

Spencer’s hand came up to his face and it dragged down, aging him significantly with the fatigue written all over his face. 

“So you’re just going to pack up everything, break my heart, and leave? Were you even going to say goodbye, or was I going to come home to an empty home. A note or....” 

“I-I don’t know Spencer. I just don’t…” 

The tears were starting to creep in, and you had to place the box down before you lost it.

“This isn’t easy for me either…” Your chest heaved. 

The both of you stood in silence, tension simmering surrounding the both of you like heat on a summer’s eve. Neither of you could really look at one another, but it felt wrong to look at anything else. Something was missing but you couldn’t say it outloud. You knew you would always love Spencer Reid but this time it was not enough. 

“I’m tired of arguing Spencer.” 

Your eyes met his. You felt Spencer’s arms around you before you could even feel the tears hit your cheeks. Your arms immediately went to his neck, so familiar. No longer home. 

Spencer’s voice muttered into your ear. “Don’t cry Jolie. It’ll be okay..” 

About three years ago, Spencer had decided that he didn’t like that you had nicknames for him, and he had none for you. He spent weeks workshopping different ones : Sugar, Honey, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, Darlin, Pookie, Lover, Sunny (like sunshine), Sunshine—it was a wild few weeks trying to figure out who he was talking to. Then one day, offhandedly, he was trying to tell you about this french film he had been watching, and trying to get Emily to watch with him. 

He called you ‘tres jolie’, and blushing you had asked him what it meant. He told you it meant pretty. 

And it stuck. 

Now? It stung. 

All you could do was squeeze tightly onto him, not ready to let go.

“You’re so pretty when you’re lying through your teeth.” You whispered after a few moments, pulling away out of his arms. 

“I.” You swallow and step back, out of his reach. “Maybe I’ll...” 

Spencer just looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold in the tears that were streaming down his face. 

You grabbed the last box on the counter and your keys, and walked out, for the last time. 

You awoke in your bed, eyes adjusting to the complete darkness the blackout curtains provided you. 

Another fucking night thinking about your decision those four years ago, and how your life may have gotten better because of it. 

Moving to get up from the bed, you decided to leave the curtains closed for now, feeling as if you could melt from the sun touching you. 

You turned on the bathroom light and started your morning routine. Wash face. Take meds. Brush teeth. Fix hair—

Somewhere in that process, you got lost, and just stared at yourself in the mirror. You weren’t sure for how long. All you could do was replay the last four years. 

Did you make the right choice? You were happy, you had your dream job. 

Maybe it was true what they say, you can only have a career or love, but not both—

The only thing taking you out of this spiral was the ringer on your phone going off. 

This caused some hesitation because your phone’s ringer was always off––the loud noise startling you. There were only a few people who had that emergency bypass, and none of them had called you in four years. 

You peaked out of the bathroom and saw the name light up on your phone. 

Emily Prentiss

______________________________________________________________

The door to the round room opened up and in walked Spencer Reid. “Catch me up.” 

Prentiss clicked the remote, and the TV lit up with a picture of a woman smirking facing the camera while holding a gun up to another one next to her. “Early this morning, Garcia got an email from an anonymous server.”

The second woman was tied up, mouth slightly open, and eyes filled with tears, while a man on the other side just had his eyes closed, tired. . 

Spencer just stared at the photo. 

Rossi nodded at the picture. “She's not obscuring her face, telling us she's got nothing to hide.”

He never pulled focus away from the screen, mouth dry at the thought of what today was going to be. “Any ideas on the unsub?”

“No.” Prentiss sighed. “Only the unsub's demand. That we release Catherine Adams in 24 hours.  I'm having her transferred here for questioning, but we have no illusions. This is just a game to her. We know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?”

______________________________________________________________

Receiving a call from the FBI was not entirely new to you, since you had been engaged to one of their agents, but receiving one now? Weird. Off brand. Something was deeply wrong from them to have to give you a call. 

You hesitantly pick up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey Y/n, it’s Emily Prentiss—“

“I know who you are, Emily. It’s been a couple years, not millions.” 

Emily hummed a brief laugh, and you could hear other voices behind her, unable to make out anything. 

“I know this is hard to ask of you, but would you stay on the phone with me and come in?” 

“What?” 

“I need you to stay very calm Y/n, but I need you to stay on the line with me, leave your apartment as soon as you can, and get to the BAU.” 

“Oh my god I totally forgot. It might take me an hour to get there with all this bullshit traffic, could we push the reservation an hour? Would they be willing to do that?” 

Your entire tone changed, having remembered what Spencer had told you all those years ago about if people were listening into your apartment, if they bugged your car—all paranoia that didn’t pay off then, might be paying off now. 

You were sure you could hear Emily sigh, and it sounded a little upset at the fact that you knew what to do–you knew how to handle a dangerous situation, which made her question everything in her life. 

Quickly you pulled on a pair of jeans and threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and grabbed your keys off of the counter. 

You left your apartment, waved to one of your neighbors, and hopped into your car, still on the line, just trying not to panic. Maybe something went wrong, maybe Spencer wasn’t okay, maybe he had died—you refused to even acknowledge that thought and decided it was something else entirely. 

It was a very tense hour of driving, that was only about forty minutes since you knew how to drive above the speed limit. 

You realized that it was past midday, and you had taken full advantage of the weekend. So at least you had a decent amount of sleep under your belt for what felt like the beginning of an extraneous night. 

As you pulled into the parking garage, Emily Prentiss and someone you had never met before were standing there waiting for you. You placed your car in park, hopped out and walked up to them–only hanging up as soon as you were out of the car. 

Both of them had such grim looks on their faces, but at least they were trying to pretend like the situation wasn’t as bad as it appeared to your face. 

Emily engulfed you in a hug. “Missed you Y/n. It’s been too long.” 

“Well Em, next time I end an engagement with someone I’ll consider your feelings first.” You squeezed him back, dryly laughing at your own joke. At least it caused Emily to snort. 

“Y/n this is SSA Luke Alvez. Luke, this is Y/n Y/l/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” He gave a small smile and nodded at you.

“I wish it were under different circumstances.” You nodded back and looked over at Emily.

“Let’s head inside?” 

The three of you moved inside. 

Sure, you hadn’t been here in a while, but you knew your way around the BAU Bullpen if your life depended on it, which was ironic since that was what this feels like. 

As soon as you were safely in their round table room, Luke shut the door, and stood by it, Emily coming and sitting down next to you. 

“What do you know about Cat Adams?” 

That bitch. 

______________________________________________________________

“I would like to go on a date. With you.” 

Spencer stared at her, face stoic as ever. “A date?”

“Yes. I want to look pretty. And I want to have fun.” She looked him up and down. “And I won't even get physical, ok? Unless you want me to.”

Spencer sat down across from her. “Come here. Closer.”

Cat leaned in, a small smile on her face, absolutely intoxicated by being so close to him.

“The only date that I'll be there for is the one where they stick a needle in your vein.”

Cat scoffed. “You're just going to let her father and sister die? I don't think so.”

“I never said it was a father and daughter. You're already slipping.” He stood up from the table. “We'll find them. We always do.”

Cat leaned back and crossed her arms. “Not tonight. Tonight I win.”

His resolution had yet to change, “The score between me and you is two to zero. By tomorrow morning, it'll be a clean sweep. Enjoy eternal nothingness. It's a metaphor for your life.” 

And with that, the door slammed shut behind him.

______________________________________________________________

Both the profilers watched a series of emotions run rampant across your face, before you settled on a somewhat displeased smile. “A lot.” 

They exchanged a look, and you didn’t have the energy to pretend like you didn’t know what it was. 

“Don’t start with me you two. I know profiling. I know what you’re doing. Ask me the questions you want to ask. Don’t try and trick me into giving the answers you want.” 

Alvez bit his tongue and looked away, trying to hide a small smile that appeared on his lips. 

Emily, on the other hand, hid her smile a bit better than him, but part of being previously engaged to a profiler meant you picked up on some of their tricks too. 

She nodded and pulled a file from across the table. “I’m assuming you know the basics since she, uh, is obsessed with Spencer.”

“Glad to see he still has that going for him.” You muttered and looked into the file. 

Emily shot Luke a look when he let out a huff or air, trying his damndest not to laugh. 

“What is the last thing you know about her?” 

You recounted the days leading up to the restaurant, and then the few days after, decidedly stopping short of the engagement breaking off a week later. 

They shared another look, and you didn’t enjoy whatever it was that had moved across their faces. 

“What? What happened?” 

“Y/n..”

“No Emily, I drove from DC to here, I deserve to know what happened. without some weird sugarcoating, alright?” 

Emily then begins to explain to you the past four years of Reid’s life. Cat pretending she was pregnant with his kid in prison, kidnapping his mother, framing him for murder in Mexico, going to prison—

“Spencer went to prison and none of you thought to call me….”

“We didn’t think you’d–” 

“I’m a fucking criminal defense attorney in DC Emily. Of course I’d want to know if he was arrested, especially internationally. I know that law better than all of you. If someone I knew was kidnapped, I’d call you immediately. Faster than the cops.” 

Both of them went silent. 

“So is he out?” 

They nodded slowly, silently. 

“How long was he in there.”

Nothing. 

“I asked. How. Long.”

Luke spoke up. “Three months.” 

“Jesus christ.” You stood up and started to pace around the room, taking the time you needed to calm down. 

Why didn’t Spencer call you—well you knew why Spencer wouldn’t call you. 

“Okay so he’s out.” You said finally. “Why am I here?” 

“Cat’s execution is coming up, and we….we found out that she’s convinced someone to kidnap some….people…close to Reid, and we knew you’d be on that list for him.” 

Your eyebrows went up at people but said nothing of it. Just as you went to say something else, JJ knocked on the door, another blonde woman behind her. 

They entered and JJ gave you a small, yet genuine smile. 

You returned it, but quickly shifted your gaze onto the woman behind. 

Your whole body shifted slightly, into a place of defense, locking your emotions down. You knew all the profilers were watching it happen in real time, which is why Emily walked over and stood next to you, a hand appearing on the small of your back as a comfort.

“Would someone like to tell me what is going on here?” The blonde woman spoke up, arms crossed.

At least Spencer’s taste in partners with attitude hadn’t changed. 

______________________________________________________________

“Victimology is off.”

“How so?” Prentiss looked up at him as he walked into the room. 

“Father and daughter. She’s never done that before.” 

Lewis spoke up. “She usually kills men that remind her of her father. Children–even adult children, are off limits. Do we have an ID yet.” 

Prentiss, Rossi, Garcia, and JJ all looked over at Reid, and he just pulled a hand down his face. “It’s. It’s Issac and Noelle Y/l/n.” 

“Y/l/n…as is Y/n Y/l/n.” Tara looked up surprised at Spencer. 

Reid nodded slowly, just staring at the picture on the projector.

While Luke spoke up. “Who is Y/n Y/l/n.” 

“An old friend.” Rossi quickly interjected, before any more explanation had to be said. It was clear both Alvez and Simmons, that whoever this was, was an extremely touchy subject for Reid. 

Tara, who had only known you for a little while, looked back at the picture. 

Rossie spoke up. “What do we know about the partner who’s helping her?” 

“It’s got to be someone from her prison.” Simmons spoke up. “She hasn’t had contact with anyone else.” 

______________________________________________________________

After all of that, you found yourself back in a place you left four years ago. It looked almost the same as when you had first moved in, but there was less of it. 

Almost as if he was having trouble covering places where things used to be.

There were almost no photos on the walls, since you had taken half of them, and were in the rest. 

Calling someone you once loved a stranger feels wrong. 

Max, as you had learned her name, was just sitting on the couch in your spot . She was looking around as you and Rossi stood by the kitchen counter. 

“Cat had a cellmate named Juliette Weaver. We believe the two were working together, as a way for Cat to get something against Spencer, and as payment, Cat would get Juliette’s ex.”

You nodded. “How does this affect me?” 

“She took your father and sister.” 

Your back straightened and immediately brought out your phone, to call your sister, but Rossi just grabbed your wrist (gently) and shook his head. “If she finds out you know, then it’s all over. She’s doing this on purpose. She knows about you and Reid, but she knows that dragging you into all of this will hurt him more than anything else.” 

His voice had gone low and quiet, so that the girl on the couch couldn’t hear. 

“So why is she here?” You whispered back. 

“Because we don’t want anyone in danger.” 

You closed your eyes and nodded. “I need a cup of tea.” 

Rossi let go of your wrist, and you walked into the kitchen, mostly eyes closed from the stress of the situation. 

The apartment was silent, the others watching as you grabbed a kettle, and started to make tea. It was like second nature to you as you turned the stovetop on, grabbed a mug from the cabinet (careful to not grab one of his favorites), and grabbed some tea from the cabinet. 

It didn’t dawn on you that you were drinking your favorite type of tea until the second sip, while the entire apartment was still silent. 

The pity from Rossi's look was palpable. 

“Don’t even start.” 

He shrugged and stayed silent. 

Until his walkie went off and he looked at Max. “It’s time. Let’s go.” 

Rossi looked back at you and gave you a quick hug, squeezing you tightly. “You’ve got this kid. Remember everything we talked about.” 

You nodded and gave them both a strained smile as they left the apartment, leaving you all alone in this place you once called home, alone. 

Never once, since you left, did you think you would ever be back here. You didn’t even realize you were drinking from one of your own mugs until it was just you. The irony of it was not lost on you, and you sat down in your spot on the couch. 

Well first you sat in Spencer’s seat but it felt too weird, so you shifted back into your spot on the couch. 

______________________________________________________________

“Juliette staked out in Reid’s life. Found out he was dating someone, but then must have discovered his ex-fiancée.” Simmons sighed. “He was probably so focused on Max, he didn’t even realize that someone was digging into his history, following them around.”

Prentiss nodded as they walked and talked. “But if Juliette was able to find Max, that meant she was easily able to find Y/n and her family. It means she must have access to all of her publicly available information. “

“Well at least we found their hidden agenda.” 

“No. We found Cat’s hidden agenda. Juliette doesn’t care about Reid. There’s something we’re missing here. Do a deep dive with Garcia.” 

Simmons nodded at Prentis. “On it.” 

“I’ll go to Reid's apartment and monitor onsite. Is there a trap and trace on his landline?” 

“Garcia’s almost set up.” Simmons walked away from Prentiss, and down towards Penelope’s office. 

“Well this went from bad to worse.” Tara walked up to Emily. 

Emily sighed in agreement. 

Lewis spoke up. “Female narcissists destroy their competition.Y/n  really shouldn’t be in there.” 

Emily just nodded and the two of them headed out of the bullpen. “Walk with me.” 

Tara kept stride with her as they pushed through the doors. Rossi was just getting off the phone with someone and turned to look at the two women approaching him and JJ. 

JJ spoke up when Rossi was finished. “So, the hospital just released the dad– Issac Y/l/n. He's on his way here now.

Rossi scoffed. “Question is, why let him go at all?”

“Matt's on that.” Emily gestures in the direction of Garcia’s office. “Juliette Weaver's real agenda should tell us where she's taking Y/n’s younger sister.”

Lewis spoke next. “I still think the play here is to get Cat and Juliette to contact each other, but I have no idea how.”

Prentiss crossed her arms. “I have a plan, but first we have to talk about Y/n.” 

______________________________________________________________

Just then, you heard the click of the door, and stood up, watching as the door swung open. 

And there he was. 

This was the first time you had seen Spencer in four years. 

And here he was, kissing Catherine Adams. 

The woman you could give partial credit to for ending your relationship. 

After a moment Spencer looked up, and took several steps away from Cat. His eyes were wide and locked on yours. 

It took a lot of self-restraint to not punch the lights out of Cat, and to stand still arms crossed. 

“Y/n?” Spencer’s voice broke a little bit. 

You never would say that Spencer was unattractive. In fact, it would be a lie if you ever said it. But something about the past four years aged him like a fine wine. 

His hair was a bit longer, he had some scruff—his baby face had melted away and standing in front of you was a man who thought you knew everything about, but was now a stranger. 

You didn’t answer him, watching as he took you in, standing in his apartment, for the first time since…

“What are you doing here?” 

You looked over at Cat, who had the most devious smirk on her face. 

Remember what Prentiss had said to you. 

“You know why I’m here.” 

Cat nodded and the two of them moved into the apartment, the door closing behind them. 

Spencer just stood ten feet away from you, eyes never leaving you, and you watched him right back. 

Cat, on the other hand, was walking around, examining the apartment. You could see her take notice of the tea you had made yourself on the counter. You could see the hatred from the corner of your eyes. The two of you were starting to piss her off. 

She spoke up, after a few moments of silence. “Did it make you mad that I was kissing your Fiancé?” 

You shook your head. “No.”

Your focus had fully turned to Cat, but you swore you swore you could hear Spencer take a sharp inhale as you spoke your next words.

“Well, he's not my fiancé and I kind of have some other things on my mind.”

Cat didn’t scare you, but there was just something so off-putting about her. “Like what?” 

“Are you gonna hurt Noelle?”

Cat shrugged. “Not if I don't have to, no. Honestly, if she follows instructions, she might even learn from this whole experience.”

You scoffed. “What does that mean?”

Cat just started fiddling with the chess set on the dresser. 

“Spencer, what does she mean?” You turned to look back at him, his name feeling so good on your tongue. 

Spencer, who really hadn’t stopped looking at you and sighed. “I think…She means that Noelle isn’t learning from her, but from Juliette.” 

You sat down in your spot on the couch, arms crossed. You were on the full defense. 

Spencer noticed where you sat and had to look down to conceal any notions of a smile on his face. 

Cat watched him before turning and looking at you, some more disdain on her face than before. 

“Normally, Spencie and I, we spend our time together playing games, but tonight, I've brought you all here to make a point. You are doing so much better.” 

Spencer spoke up. “With you?”

“I'm not talking to you.” Cat snapped at him before she turned to you. “I'm talking to you. Because, girlfriend, you need to know the truth about your fiancé.” 

“He's not my finacé.” You were unsure about how many more times you could say that outloud. 

“No kidding. When’s the last time you spoke? Right…” Cat walked over to the center of the room, right in front of the couch. “Here?” 

Your head whipped around to Spencer. “You told her about that?”

Spencer was pleading with his eyes. “I had to say a lot of things tonight.”

Cat’s voice caused your head to snap back to her. “Yes, he has. He said that you never compared to me, that, um... That no matter what, he will never get me out of his mind, unlike you. Unlike that girlfriend.” 

You tried not to wince at the mention of that girl Maxine out in one of the trucks.

Spencer sat down next to you. “Everything I said—I was lying to save your family.”

Cat scoffed. “Did our kiss look like a lie?” 

“No.” you just looked down at your hands. 

“Thank you. See, now we're getting to the heart of the matter.” Cat started mocking Spencer. “You see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is... Is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who, uh, always saves the day and has all the answers. And has zero mommy issues, right? But, um... I know the real him.” 

“Oh, yeah? Who's the real me, Cat?” 

“The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls. And hisses that he's going to kill them.” 

Spencer stood up, squaring off against her.  “That was a very different situation.”

“No, it wasn't.” Cat was holding the smirk back this time, making your gut wretch. 

“Spencer…What is she talking about?” You looked from the psychopath in front of you, to the man you realized you might have never really known beside you.

“You tell her. She's not gonna believe it coming from me.” She huffed. 

Reid turned and looked at you. “Two years ago, Cat had her partner kidnap my mother. Just like tonight. She got under my skin and…”

Your chest hurts. “And you threw her against a wall?” 

Cat’s smirk was breaking through whatever resolve she had. “Don't skimp on the details, Spencie. She deserves to know everything.”

Every single time she said Spencie you swore a shock went up your spine. 

Spencer looked down at his hands, and then over at you. His voice had gotten quieter. “She was pregnant at the time and I knew that when I hurt her.” 

“And?” She stood there expectantly, waiting for Spencer to finish. When he didn’t, her face suddenly became solemn. “The next day... I miscarried. The end.”

Spencer looked at her. “That's not true.” 

“It is most certainly true. Check my medical records.” 

“That doesn't mean I-I would…”

Cat held up her hand to him. “Stop. Look.”

Spencer looked over at you, just sitting on the couch, trying to process everything that was going through your head. 

After thinking about everything you had gone through, especially with Spencer. “I thought you were better than that Spence.” 

It was the first time you had used a nickname for him in years. And he was hearing it for the first time while you were stuck in a standoff between himself and Cat Adams, your sister being god knows where. 

Spencer’s voice cracked. “I'm sorry.” 

Cat squatted down in front of you, a sick smile on her lips. She was enjoying this. She truly enjoyed watching his life crumble to bits. “Notice how your Spencie is apologizing to you and not me.”

You clenched your hands. “He’s not mine…”

Spencer just looked over at you. 

Cat nodded. “That's good. Because men are all the same. Aren't they, Jolie?” 

Spencer’s eyes lit up with an emotion you rarely saw from him when you were together. “Don't call her that.”

And you couldn’t blame him. The word ran you through like a spear and you were sure if you looked behind you, the blade would be through the couch. You tried so hard to not let either of the two people near you see how much it messed with you. Luckily for you, Cat was too busy pushing Spencer’s buttons to see the way her words won against you. 

Cat hissed at him. “What, are you gonna throw me against a wall and choke me, or do you only do that to pregnant women?” 

You finally spoke up. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I want you to see it.” She gestured to Spencer. “I want you to see that he is...no better than he was before, or any man after. They’re all the same.” 

“Stop.”

Cat squatted down in front of you. “I can see it on your face. What's his name?” 

You stared back at her. “It's none of your business.”

That damned smirk of hers returned. “It is exactly my business. In fact, it's my specialty. I mean, I could have Juliette and baby sister go over there if you want. They could take care of him.” 

Reid looked over at you. “Say yes. Give her what she wants.” 

“Hmm. See, he wants you to get me to make a little phone call so they can trace it.” She moved away from you both and sat down in the lounging chair across from you. “They're so good, the FBI.”

You jumped up and started pacing, a spitting image of four years ago. “What is wrong with the two of you? What is this sick, twisted thing that you have? Listen, I just want to save my sister. Will you please just tell me what I have to do to do that?” 

“Tell me his name. Tell me the story. That's it. And then if they can let Juliette exit stage right, then I promise you I will let her go.”

You looked between Cat and Spencer before walking over to the kitchen, and hanging up the phone. After staring down at the decision you had just made, you walked back over and took your phone out. “Here.  Use this. Use my phone. They can't trace it.”

She just watched you. “You'd be surprised.”

“I don't even need a call. Just... just a photo.” You held the phone out to her. “Something to prove to me that she's still alive. Please”. 

Cat just looked up at your face. “Story first.”

“Y/n. Please.” Spencer turned to you, hoping you’d look back at him. “I have been here with her before. She called the number and told the partner to kill my mom.”

“It is so tricky, isn't it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath... Or me?”

You looked down at the ground, refusing to look over at Spencer. “His…His name was Mike Davis. We dated for two years. I met him a month after we…we split.”

Cat’s attention on you felt as if there were a million bees stinging your body all at different intervals, pain coursing through your body. “Good. When did it end?” 

“Last year.” 

“Was he good in bed?” 

Spencer stood up. “Shut up.” 

Cat was enjoying this. She was enjoying watching you make Spencer uncomfortable. She was enjoying hurting him in every masochistic way she could. “What? You have to know where you stand.”

“He was good…” You looked back at Cat. “Good at, um, separating me from my friends and my family. Enough that the first time he punched me in the face, I didn't have anywhere to go. And my first response wasn't "get out." It wasn't "go to hell." It was "I'm sorry, Mike." That's when he knew he had me.”

There was a glint in Spencer’s eyes, and you could swear they were tears, but you couldn’t tell from rage or sorrow. 

Cat continued to probe. “How many hospital visits were there?” 

You showed her a small scar on the inside of your elbow. “None. No, he... He knew how to hurt me just enough to hide it all, I guess.”  

“But you found the strength to leave. What did you do?” 

“ I planned and I... I waited.”

Cat’s eyes lit up. “Waited for what? “

“I live here in D.C.” You looked between Spencer and Cat. “but I'm also a resident in Virginia. It takes 60 days for the permit to clear.”

Spencer’s eyes widened. “Y/n, stop talking. Stop talking right now.”

Cat shushed him. “No, don't stop. Here. Give me the phone. Look, I'm gonna enter the text. Stick the landing and I'll hit "send."

You handed her the phone and she quickly typed out a message, her thumb hovering over send. 

Fiddling with your ring finger, you started to speak again. Slowly. Concisely. “When I was ready, I picked a fight. Loud enough for the neighbors to hear. And he came at me with his fist just cocked back, so I pulled my Glock 19 out of my purse. I shot him.”

Spencer tried to interject. “It was self-defense. He was attacking you—”

“That's what I told 911 as he was struggling to breathe on his kitchen floor. That's why the police never charged me. I’m a lawyer, I know how to plead.” You closed your eyes. “But I... after I hung up, I... I shot him two more times.” 

Cat was glowing, spinning around to face Spencer. “Wow, you really have a type, don't you? Quite a dilemma, too. She just admitted to murder.” 

Spencer was in disbelief. “She'll beat it.” . 

“Probably. But whatever feelings she might have still had for you, and whatever Maxine might have seen in you—-it’s all gone.” 

The phone in your hand buzzed.

“Oh, wow. Look at that. Your sister. Alive and well. You're welcome.” 

Your face hardened up, and you stood up straighter. Walking away from the two of them, you opened the door. “I got it.” 

She took the phone from your hand and you turned back to the two of them. There was no emotion behind your eyes as you looked back at Spencer. 

Cat smirked and looked up at Spencer. “I win.” 

______________________________________________________________

The prison transport was quiet, with the two guards sitting across from Spencer and Cat. It had been silent for about twenty minutes, but then, Cat spoke up. 

“Do you know why I did this? Why I really did this?” 

Spencer looked down at his hands. “You wanted to prove I'm a monster just like you.”

“No... Silly. I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted to make sure that you would never forget about me.” She sighed. “'Cause when they do put that needle in my arm, I just want there to be even the slightest chance that... Maybe you're still thinking about me…”

Spencer stiffened as she placed her head on his shoulder. “You didn't have to terrorize 3 innocent people. You could've just written a letter.” 

“Would you have written me back?” 

When Spencer didn’t respond, Cat knew her answer. 

“Bye, Spencie. I really enjoyed our date.” She smiled at him desperately, getting dragged out of the vehicle by the guards to the prison. 

______________________________________________________________

The elevator door opened and Spencer walked out of it, his whole body reeked of defeat, and he barely looked at Emily as she spoke.  “We need to debrief.” 

Spencer just walked right past her, and into the bullpen. His expression changed when he saw you on one side talking to Tara, and Max on the other, looking up at him right as he walked in. 

“Spencer, are you okay?” 

Her voice caught your ear, and immediately you looked up to see her walk over and embrace him in a hug. 

He smiled at her, and grateful returned the hug before muttering that he would be back, and explain everything.

You were never going to get back together with Spencer, but watching it in real time was like unlacing an old wound. 

Spencer walked over to you, and you stood up as he approached. 

“Uh, Tara, would you mind giving us…”

She nodded at him and walked away. 

Both of you went to speak, trying to say something to the other. 

“I should explain all of this.” 

Spencer shook his head. “You don’t have to explain any of that Y/n—it doesn’t.” 

You cut him off. “It was fake—most of it. I didn’t kill anyone, Spence. I was just lying to her to get her to send the text from my phone. It was all…It was made up.” 

He just nodded, staring at you really. 

You gave him a soft smile, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Both of you could feel the pulse between it, making you remove your hand and take a small step back. 

“Thank you for saving my sister and father.” 

Spencer watched your resolve fully formed, masking whatever you were feeling. He hated watching it happen to him, watching as you placed whatever feelings you had back into somewhere he couldn’t find. 

Garcia walked over and placed a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “I just need you both to know, Cat Adams had a miscarriage, but it was months after whatever encounter you had. It’s not your fault. We looked at her records.” She was speaking low for you both, yet both of you let out a quiet sigh of relief. 

“They filled me in on everything that happened between both of you in the past couple years, and they asked me if I would be willing to…help them beat her.” 

Spencer looked up at you, and unlike yourself, every single emotion Spencer was feeling was racing across his face. 

He didn’t like that you knew about everything that had gone down. He was so happy you were okay. He was a little impressed by the way you beat Cat at her own game. He was upset that you put yourself in danger. 

“They gave me an ear piece and everything.” 

Spencer shook his head. “You’re not trained—that’s extremely dangerous of you.” 

You sighed and nodded. “Unfortunately Spencer, this is…this was the life I was used to when we were together. I knew the stakes. I mean the briefings I had with Hotch after you relapsed…” 

Spencer just clammed up and stood a bit straighter. “ I never knew..”

“It was like that on purpose. I didn’t want you to think that you were a burden or too much or—I was doing it for the potential of…” You cut yourself of, flinching at the parallels between this and your previous final conversation. 

You looked over at Garcia. “I need my bag Pen.” You whispered, taking a step away from Spencer. “I shouldn’t…I finished my job. My family is safe…” 

She had a rueful look on her face, but she nodded and took your arm, walking you back over to the desk where your stuff was. 

He looked up at Emily and walked over to her. “I’m…uh. I’m gonna go walk her out and then I’ll be right back.” 

Emily gave him the saddest smile, and just nodded. She knew that nothing she could say could make it any better. 

You grabbed your coat, and your bag, and the two of you walked to the elevator in silence, riding it all the way down to the parking garage, where your car was still there from this afternoon, all of those hours ago. 

You looked over at Spencer, tears in your eyes, having not said anything to him. 

As soon as he met your eyes, you dropped your bag, and Spencer wrapped his arms around you tightly, just holding you and resting his head on yours; trying to give you the comfort that he was rarely able to give you. 

Sobbing into his arms, you just tightly wrapped your arms around his torso and just held onto him tightly. Trying to decompress, trying to truly understand everything that had happened in the past twelve hours. 

It was Spencer who spoke first. 

“I’m so so sorry Y/n.” He whispered. “I never meant any of this to happen to you, and for you to get dragged back here and—” 

You shook your head slightly, but didn’t move from where you were. Neither of you did. 

“It’s what she wanted, Spence, and unfortunately for us, this was always bound to happen.” You whispered. 

The hug felt so good, but something about it was just so different. 

It’s not the way it used to be. 

“I need to go Spencer.” 

He nodded, and this time you moved away from him. His hand came up and wiped away one of the remaining tears on your cheek. 

You closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. 

“Oh fuck, why is this so fucking hard four years later.” You laughed, trying to regain any sort of composure. 

“Y/n…”

You took another step away from him and shook your head. 

“We can’t—I’m not.” You tried so hard to find the right words without bursting into tears again. “Spencer. I cannot put myself back to where I was four years ago. I can’t do it. And yes things have changed, but maybe that is for the better. Maybe you were always meant to be my maybe, and not my always.” 

You took another breath, but kept going. “You are amazing, and funny, and so smart Spence. But this…we ran our course. It didn’t work then, and I don’t know if I have it in me to try again just for it to fail.” 

“Y/n please.” 

“I will always love you but this…It’s time to…It’s time to stop. I have to go back to my life, and you go back upstairs to yours, with Prentiss and Rossi and Penelope and…Max.” 

Both of you winced as you said her name, but you took a step forward, moving to kiss him on the cheek. 

Spencer gently grabbed you face, giving you enough time to back out. 

You didn’t. 

His lips locked with yours, his thumb rubbing against your cheek as the two of you shared one more moment, just for the two of you. 

But it had to end. 

You couldn’t go back to the anxiety, the arguing, the petty disagreements. It wasn’t good for you. It was good for either of you. 

Stepping away again, you gently kissed his cheek, and started to slowly walk to your car. 

Right as you got to your car, you turned around and made eye contact with him one last time before the elevator doors closed, both of you with the most gut wrenching smile slightly plastered across your faces. 

You mouthed goodbye, unable to speak it out loud, and he nodded, tears filling his eyes as he whispered it back to you. 

The doors shut. 

You were all alone in this hollow parking garage. 

Your heart was aching, burning. 

But there was a sigh of relief, that came with the doors closing, and saying goodbye for the last, last time. 

[iknwreid]

sweet nothing – spencelle.

“industry disruptors and soul deconstructors and smooth-talkin' hucksters out glad-handin' each other and the voices that implore, “you should be doin' more" to you, i can admit that i'm just too soft for all of it"

wc: 1.1k | disclamers: comfort. im thinking second season spencelle. | a/n: english is not my first language, i just really love spencelle and taylor swift. this song is literally them. text divider by cafekitsune.

It was too much for her. This job was all Elle ever wanted: make her father proud, to do good, to arrest some crazy sons of bitches. But sometimes, just sometimes… It was too much. When she got home, she'd sit on her couch and stare off into the distance, her gaze lost, only her mind working, wondering if it was really worth it. It was hard to give up and it was not like her. She would never do that. Being the first female profiler in the BAU was not something to give up. And that's why she couldn’t afford to show her weakness to anyone. They would certainly misjudge her, she wouldn’t be good enough. Too soft.

Elle was soft. Tender, friendly, sweet. Sometimes a little awkward. Spencer could see that through the mask she wore. He could notice all her little details. She was too important to him, of course he would know her. Elle made Spencer feel like a whole person and not a crazy nerd with only that to show. She listened to him when he talked about anything, – “What a mind, Reid.” – even if she did not really understand, and he sat by her side when she wanted company but was not brave enough to say so. They were good for each other like no other. There were only a few words in the air, but it was just perfect for their connected minds.

Every now and then, one case would get rougher than the other, and it was inevitable not to let it affect her. Perhaps even impossible. Elle sat at her desk, Spencer in a chair beside her. They were silent for a moment, looking at the case file and writing all the horrors back into their memories. Spencer looked at her, tracing all her features and looking at her mysterious face that was glancing at what seemed to be nothing. She had recently cut her bangs. Reid found that lovely, it really suits her, he thinks. 

“Elle.” A voice they recognize echoes through the bullpen. Hotchner stands on the steps of the staircase with a serious look on his face. She stands up before answering. “Yes, Hotch?” she swivels her hips and walks towards him. Spencer watched the scene not quite so discreetly, his eyes fixed on the two familiar faces. He could see Hotchner opening his lips to say something, but he couldn’t hear what he was actually saying. He knew, however, that these words absolutely crashed Elle’s mind. She was an expressive person, and he definitely inferred the topic of conversation when her face turned into a miserable expression as her hands grabbed at her arms to hold onto something to keep herself from falling. Reid stood up without moving, but he was ready to if he had to. Not even a second later, all he saw was Elle leaving the bullpen, faster than ever before. Even faster than when they had vacations. His eyes searched for her, not wanting her to leave.

Spencer walked up to her and touched her on the shoulders as she stood in the hallway. “Hey, Elle?” His voice was soft and low, he did his best not to startle her. She turned to him, her eyes moist and an astonished expression on her face. “What happened there?” he dared to ask. She was silent, open-mouthed, as if searching for the right words.“He said I should have done more.” Greenaway said at the moment a tear welled up on her face. Spencer stared into her eyes, not knowing exactly what to say, in fact, not even knowing what he wanted to hear. “You've done more than enough, Elle.” His hands softened the touch in her shoulders, sliding down her arms and then over her hands, touching them lightly before crossing his arms. She looked down at the floor and nodded her head slightly. She was disappointed with herself. And she knew she should be doing more, but hearing that from another person was soul wrecking. Hotchner's words were like waves crashing on the shore. “No, he's right, Spencer.” 

It was natural for him to embrace her. He didn't even think about it, he just hugged her and tried to comfort her in a better way than with words. Spencer felt that words were a good way to comfort, but right now he needed the feeling that Elle was safe in his arms. The feeling that she wasn't going to leave and stay alone in her house thinking about leaving for the best of it. She didn't say in words that she had done this before, but he knew it was true. He had done it before, too. And they were so much alike that he could sense that his hunch was right. Elle didn't immediately respond to the hug, but just seconds after she felt him hugging her, she couldn’t resist the urge to feel him too. Her hands ran carefully over his upper back as she breathed in his scent, a mixture of black coffee and wood. It was so comforting, it felt like home. Not her house, but home, like going back to New York City after so many years. 

Spencer ran his hands briefly through her short hair after she released the hug; he wanted more, he felt so comfortable with her touch that he craved more. Every time he felt her close to him, he didn't care about the rest of the world, he didn't care if the end was coming or if everyone was up to something, he only cared about Elle. More than anything, he wanted her to be well. In fact, he needed her to be well. Despite that, Spencer didn't expect her to be fine. How could she? How could Elle be fine after everything that had happened?

“You're incredible, Elle. Don't let anything convince you otherwise.” He said, looking into her eyes again. It was a mesmerizing sight, Elle’s eyes. “Please.” Reid added with an almost stupid face, he liked her so much it was painful.

Elle didn't say anything, she just hugged him again because she wanted that feeling once more. Spencer never wanted nothing from her. It was a strange feeling when someone didn't always want 100% from you. All those things he said, not only today, but everytime she needed, – sometimes even when she didn't need it – Elle had never felt so loved. She trusted him so much. Every time she felt insane, Reid’s voice was in her head, whispering sweet nothings to her.

“I think I'm just too soft for all of this.” She said, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck. He could feel her warm breath on his skin. Spencer pressed her against his body and sighed as he lightly stroked her back.

Spencer wanted to tell her how much he liked her, how much he loved her, despite what anyone said to her, being soft in this job wasn’t a flaw, it was actually a virtue. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to. She knew it, Elle knew it. It was their sweet nothings.

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 24 ⤍ go to sleep

"yunjin!" you exclaimed quietly as you stepped out of the uber.

yunjin had come outside to greet you when you texted her that you were down the street, wanting to avoid waking everyone in the house by ringing the doorbell.

"y/n!" she rushed over, wrapping you in a warm hug.

"i'm gonna be honest, i didn't think you would actually come," yunjin said once you both broke apart.

you smiled, shrugging a little. "i almost didn't, but then i thought, why stay home and do nothing when i could hang out with you?"

"well, i'm glad you did!" yunjin beamed, linking her arm with yours as you both walked toward the house. "let's go inside!"

once inside, yunjin kicked off her shoes and padded over to the couch, motioning for you to join her. you slipped off your shoes and set your bag on the floor before flopping down next to her.

"so, what's the plan for tonight?" yunjin asked, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around her shoulders.

"i don't know; this is your house," you shrugged playfully.

"movie?" yunjin suggested.

"yeah, i did that the last time i was here too," you chuckled.

yunjin looked confused for a second but then her face lit up with realization. "i forgot kazuha snuck you in here before!"

"and now you're sneaking me in. i really am working my way up le sserafim," you joked, leaning back against the couch.

"stop!" yunjin laughed, shaking her head at your comment.

as the laughter faded, yunjin's expression turned thoughtful. "honestly, though, it's nice to have you here. we've never really hung out alone before."

you nodded. "yeah, it's nice."

yunjin smiled, her eyes softening. "me too. but what do you want to watch?"

you thought about it for a second. "how about a classic rom-com? something light and funny?"

"i was hoping you would say that!" yunjin agreed, reaching over to grab the remote and scrolling through the streaming service.

she went into the kitchen to grab some snacks and drinks, returning with a spread that made your mouth water. after setting everything up on the coffee table, she flopped back onto the couch and started the movie.

as the opening credits rolled, you sank into the cushions, feeling completely at ease. you exchanged glances and playful comments throughout the film, laughter echoing through the cozy living room.

after watching a specific scene and with some drinks in both of your systems, yunjin turned to you, her expression bright. "we should recreate this scene! i feel like we would totally fuck up the dance."

you burst out laughing. "i'd be down!"

yunjin giggled, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "i think we can learn this tonight."

"can we post it?" you asked.

"fuck yeah!" yunjin agreed.

and that's how you two ended up recording a dance video that you'd definitely regret come morning—or when either one of you sobered up just a little bit.

you both cleared a little space in the living room, giggling and bumping into each other as you set up the phone to record. yunjin hit play, and as the music started, you both attempted to follow the choreography.

"wait, wait! i'm totally lost already!" you exclaimed, laughing so hard you could barely stand.

"just follow my lead!" yunjin called back. "i promise i'll make it look good!"

you both started again, determined to get at least one solid take. but every time the song hit a particularly catchy beat and you'd make eye contact with yunjin, you couldn't help but break into laughter, causing you to forget the steps entirely.

"okay, okay, focus this time!" yunjin said, trying to catch her breath. "let's do it on three. one... two... three!"

the music started, and this time, you actually managed to keep up for a few counts. but as the chorus hit, you both went wild, completely losing it again.

"why are we so bad at this?!" you said between laughs.

"i think we're doing great!" yunjin insisted, not able to stop hearslf from laughing. "just imagine how funny this is going to be later!"

after what felt like countless attempts, you finally managed to get a somewhat decent take, even if you both did look stupid as fuck in it. yunjin stopped the recording and flopped back onto the couch, breathless.

"i knew we would fuck that up," she said, collapsing dramatically onto the cushions.

"definitely the best dancers," you joked, downing the rest of your drink.

"seriously, though," yunjin said after a few moments of silence, her tone shifting a bit, "thanks for coming over. i really needed this."

you turned to her, appreciating the sincerity in her voice. "me too. i always have a good time with you."

she smiled softly, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for this unexpected evening together.

after the movie wrapped up, you both tackled the mess of empty drink containers and snack wrappers, laughing as you raced to clean up. but as the drinks faded off, you started to feel the weight of exhaustion tugging at you. you figured you'd just sleep on the couch, but yunjin wouldn't let you.

"no way you're sleeping on the couch," she insisted, giving you a pointed look. "you're coming to my bed."

you opened your mouth to protest, but she was already pulling you toward her room. once there, she placed a pillow between you two and declared it a "lesbian prevention pillow."

you burst out laughing at her ridiculousness. "seriously, yunjin"

"can't have kazuha getting jealous," she teased, winking.

you couldn't stop smiling as you settled into her bed, the pillow a silly barrier between you. the comfort of the sheets made it hard to resist the pull of sleep.

"goodnight, yunjin," you said, turning to face her.

"goodnight, y/n. sweet dreams!" she replied.

with the gentle sound of her breathing beside you, you closed your eyes, feeling safe and content. you drifted off to sleep with a smile on your face.

the next morning, you were sitting in the le sserafim living room, waiting for yunjin to wake up, chatting with your manager about brand deals and new projects you were working on. you had just sent your last message when kazuha crept up behind you.

"y/n?" she said, causing you to jump in your seat.

"hi, zuha," you greeted her, a smile spreading across your face.

"what are you doing here? are you here for me?" she asked, her expression full of confusion as she pointed to herself.

"i hung out with yunjin last night, so i spent the night here. just waiting for her to wake up now," you explained.

kazuha pouted, crossing her arms. "i told you to go to sleep last night! and not only did you ignore that, but you hung out with my roommate."

"jealous?" you teased.

"of course i am," she said.

"don't be. we just hung out as friends," you reassured her, chuckling softly. "but what are you doing up this early?"

"i told you, i wake up early," kazuha replied, plopping down next to you. "what are you doing, though?"

"just talking to my manager about new projects and stuff," you told her, turning to face her.

"oooh, any spoilers?" kazuha asked, her eyes lighting up with curiosity.

"for you?" you thought for a moment. "maybe... but only if they go through."

"okay, i hope it happens! you deserve it," kazuha said, her tone earnest.

"thank you," you replied, giving her an appreciative smile.

just then, you felt the tips of kazuha's fingertips slowly trail up your arm. your heart sped up as her fingers inched closer to your face. she reached the lower part of your cheek and cupped it, making your breath hitch.

the two of you were close enough that you could feel kazuha's breath, the space between you charged with a warmth that made your skin tingle.

"zuha..." you began to say, but before you could finish, kazuha closed the distance with a soft kiss. you wasted no time kissing her back, every sensation heightened.

kazuha backed you up until the back of your legs hit the bed. you slowly sat down, letting her climb into your lap, her arm snaking around your neck as she did. you instinctively moved your hand to her hips, pulling her closer as you both continued to kiss.

soon enough, you were tugging kazuha's sweater over her head, your hands exploring her bare sides. she let out a soft moan at your touch. you moved your lips down to her jawline, and you continued down to her collarbone, placing several gentle hickeys in that area. kazuha gasped softly, her head tilting back in delight, wanting to feel your lips on hers again. she pulled you back in for another kiss, your tongues dancing together in a very heated kiss.

but before you could go any further, you were rudely jolted awake by yunjin yelling at you to wake up.

"what do you want?" you mumbled, your voice still heavy with sleep as you barely opened your eyes.

"sakura is making breakfast for us, and you need to wake up so we can all eat together," yunjin replied.

you groaned, making no motion to get up. the only thing on your mind was that dream you just had—a particularly vivid one about kazuha. a smile crept onto your face as you replayed the scenes in your head.

you just wanted to make that dream a reality.

but that felt too far-fetched; you two had only met a couple of weeks ago. sure, there had been some playful flirting, and you'd even been on a date, but that was just for a bit... right?

of course, it had to. or that's what you tried to tell yourself. you couldn't help but fall for someone who was incredibly pretty, sweet, funny, and just all-around a good person. you could fall for her, but not kazuha. you doubted she could even see you that way.

"ma'am," yunjin snapped you out of your thoughts. "are you gonna get up?"

"sorry, i'm just trying to recover from this dream i had," you said, shaking your head to clear your mind.

it didn't matter; it was just a dream, and that's all it would ever be.

"oh, what kind of dream was it? was it a bad one or something?" yunjin asked, noticing the dazed look on your face.

"oh no! definitely not!" you exclaimed, shaking your head. "it was actually a really good dream."

you tried not to sound too excited, but that clearly didn't work.

"wait... was it—" yunjin paused, trying to stifle a laugh. "did i wake you up from a sex dream?"

"shut up!" you said, grabbing the pillow from under your neck and tossing it at her as she burst into laughter.

"who was it?" yunjin immediately asked once she calmed down.

"none of your business," you said, covering your face with your hands.

"come on, tell me, please," she pleaded, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"i can't tell you. you might tell them," you mumbled, avoiding eye contact with her.

"i promise i won't," yunjin said, her tone serious.

finally, you turned to look her in the eye. "it was kazuha."

"oh my god," yunjin said, genuinely shocked.

"i know! i'm shocked too! it was so random; it's never happened before!" you added quickly.

"so i was onto something that one day," yunjin said, unable to hide her grin.

"shut up. it was just one dream," you groaned.

"but you had to think about her for that dream to even happen," yunjin countered.

"true," you admitted, trying to avoid eye contact again. you really didn't want to discuss this.

"well, i would love to talk more about this, but breakfast is ready," yunjin said, checking her phone after reading a message from the group chat.

"thank god, 'cause i didn't want to talk about it anymore," you said, standing up and heading to the bathroom to freshen up before making your way to the kitchen.

as you entered, yunjin noticed how you tensed up whenever kazuha came near.

quickly, yunjin took the seat next to you before kazuha could. "sorry, zuha. she's my guest right now."

"you know i could just sit on the other side, right?" kazuha said with a confused expression on her face as she walked around to the left side of you.

"yeah, obviously," yunjin nodded.

you tried to focus on your plate, but kazuha's presence sent your heart racing again, thoughts of the dream creeping back in. once everyone was settled at the kitchen table, all your nerves went away from the comfortable vibe. 

"i saw the video you posted last night!" eunchae said, trying to contain her laughter as she pulled out her phone. the rest of the table leaned in to watch.

yunjin and you exchanged quick glances, suddenly remembering the dance session you'd filmed. "oh gosh, that!" yunjin laughed, "i totally forgot about it!"

"what were we thinking?" you chimed in, shaking your head to hide your embarrassment. "we looked so dumb!"

chaewon raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained. "i thought it was great! like, who knew you could both be so bad?"

"yeah, that was hilarious!" sakura added, chuckling. "when's the next yunjin-y/n dance collab happening?"

kazuha sat beside you, her smile teasing. "having regrets now?"

you shrugged, feeling the warmth of her gaze. "we really thought we were fucking it up. we were not."

as the conversation flowed, you got lost in the playful banter, especially when kazuha leaned in a little closer, making your heart race. at one point, as you both reached for the last piece of bacon at the same time, your hands brushed against each other. you both paused, and suddenly, a weird tension filled the space between you. 

kazuha smiled shyly, and before you knew it, you found yourself intertwining your fingers with hers under the table. the warmth of her hand made your heart flutter, and you tried to focus on what everyone else was saying.

"you should join us for breakfast more often," chaewon said, breaking the moment, "and stop sneaking in at night like we don't know!"

"it's not my fault these girls only invite me after hours!" you shot back jokingly.

"but definitely," you agreed, giving kazuha's hand a gentle squeeze, your heart racing a little more.

yunjin caught sight of the two of you, a knowing smirk on her face, but she held her tongue for now, letting you two have your moment.

you were planning to head home after breakfast since yunjin had something she needed to film. but then kazuha invited you to hang out in her room, and honestly, how could you say no? yunjin practically pushed you towards kazuha, eager for you to go with her.

now you were sitting on the edge of kazuha's bed, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement as she laid down at the foot of the bed right by you. if you laid down too, you'd be face to face.

"you know, i'm kinda jealous that you snuck in with yunjin last night," kazuha admitted, breaking the silence. that felt kinda familiar...

"she was the only one who wanted to hang out with me," you replied, trying to keep it light.

"i told you to go to sleep," kazuha said. that might've been the exact words she said during your dream.

"i tried, but i couldn't," you admitted.

"will you spend the night with me tonight then?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with hope.

"i'd have to see if i have anything scheduled," you told her, keeping it casual.

"look now then!" kazuha gestured, handing you your phone that was conveniently near her.

you took your phone, trying to ignore how your hand was shaking. unlocking it, you checked your schedule and, of course, it was completely clear. because why wouldn't it be on a random saturday?

"i have nothing," you said, setting your phone back down.

"perfect! you can stay here then," kazuha said, her smile widening.

"yeah," you mumbled.

"you can get comfortable, you know," kazuha teased. "i give you permission to lay on my bed."

"oh, yeah." you lay down on your side, feet dangling off the bed.

"yeah, i like this better," she said, settling into a more relaxed position.

you both stayed like that for a while, the tv playing some random show in the background. you tried to act like you were paying attention, but all you could focus on was how close kazuha was and how unreal it felt to be on her bed. she occasionally glanced over at you, and each time, your heart did a little flip.

and you don't know how the next part happened but eventually, you two were cuddling on her bed. it just happened so naturally at one point.

you heard kazuha shift, her hand grazing the side of your face. her fingers traced over your cheeks and jaw, stopping at your chin before she leaned in and kissed you.

you grabbed the front of her shirt, pulling her closer, craving more of her warmth.

kazuha moved over you, one knee slipping between your thighs. one hand held herself up while the other cradled your cheek, and every touch felt electric. her kisses were heated, and every little whine when you pulled apart just made you want more. but then everything paused, a moment of stillness when her hand left your neck and rested at the top of your shirt.

she pulled away, lips barely brushing against yours, and you could feel the heat radiating between you.

kazuha shifted to straddle you, fingers grazing over your skin, and suddenly, you had to pull away. "wait? is this real?"

"of course it is," kazuha giggled, clearly confused.

you pinched yourself just to make sure. it felt too good to be true like this was another dream. but nope, this was real, and it was happening.

you blinked at her, still trying to wrap your head around everything. "so it isn't a dream this time?"

kazuha raised an eyebrow. "this time?"

"don't worry about it," you waved it off, not wanting to get into it.

"okay..." she seemed curious but stopped herself. "so we're good?"

"yeah, i just needed to clarify that for myself," you said, feeling a bit more at ease.

"good." her fingers traced over your skin, sending shivers down your spine. "i was kinda worried you'd think i was joking or something."

"why would i think that?" you shook your head, your heart racing as her gaze locked onto yours.

kazuha giggled again, that sound making everything feel surreal. "i don't know. i wasn't sure if you were serious about our... whatever this is."

"whatever this is," you echoed, your pulse quickening. "i've been questioning your feelings for a while, and now i finally know."

she leaned in closer, and you could feel the warmth radiating off her. "so, what do you want to do now?" kazuha asked, her voice softening.

"i mean..." you hesitated, your mind racing. "i didn't expect to end up here, you know?"

kazuha smirked, clearly enjoying your flustered state. "yeah, me neither. but now that we are... i think we should just enjoy it."

"right, enjoy it," you repeated, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness.

still straddling you, kazuha leaned down, brushing her lips against yours once more, slow and teasing. you kissed her back, letting the moment sink in. every touch felt electric, every breath a little more urgent.

as you pulled away, you couldn't help but grin. "so, this is how it is, huh?"

"yup," kazuha said, her cheeks flushed. "i'd like to do this more often and see where it could go—maybe even become something more?"

"maybe even something more," you confirmed, your heart racing at the thought.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[prettygirl-gabi]

Skin

---

‐‐‐

Rating:General Audiences

Warning: Fluff, angst, bitter ex, major friend group dynamic shift

Category:F/M

Fandom: Outerbanks (OBX), (Netflix TV series)

Relationships: JJ Maybank x f reader

Summary: Kie's slowly getting under your skin especially when you're JJ's new girlfriend

Based on recent experiences, and the song skin by Sabrina Carpenter has been stuck in my head for like 6 months on top of the recent experiences...

---

**"Maybe we could’ve been friends, if I met you in another life…"**

The thought crosses my mind as I stand in the middle of the living room, fiddling with my phone, and waiting for JJ to come back from the kitchen. The memory of Kiara's expression when she found out about us is still fresh, lingering like a bitter taste I can’t wash away. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, but I guess things never go as planned.

“You okay?” JJ's voice pulls me from my thoughts as he enters the room, a playful smile tugging at his lips. He’s balancing two mugs of coffee in his hands, making his way toward me like everything in the world is perfectly fine.

I nod, forcing a smile back. “Yeah. Just thinking.”

He hands me one of the mugs, his fingers brushing against mine. The contact is warm, grounding me in the moment. "About Kie?"

I glance away. He knows me too well.

“It’s hard not to think about her,” I admit, sitting down on the worn-out couch. “She was—no, she *is* my friend. I hate that it feels like I’m betraying her.”

JJ sighs and sits next to me, his arm resting casually behind my shoulders. “You didn’t do anything wrong. She’ll come around. It’s just gonna take time.”

**"I’m happy and you hate it, hate it, oh…"**

I wish I could believe him. It’s not that I don’t want to be with JJ—it’s that being with him comes with a whole mess of complications I didn’t see coming. Kie and JJ had always had this unspoken connection. At least, that’s what everyone thought, including me. And then I fell for him. Hard.

Now, it’s like every glance from Kiara is a reminder that I’ve taken something she didn’t realize she wanted until it was too late.

“I don’t think she’s ever going to be okay with it,” I confess quietly. “With us.”

JJ chuckles softly, shaking his head. “Well, that’s too bad. Because I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”

His words make my heart flutter, even though the doubt still lingers in the back of my mind. I know he means it—he’s serious about us, about this. But how do I move forward when the person I care about most next to JJ feels like I’m rubbing this relationship in her face?

**"You can try to get under my, under my, under my skin, while he’s on mine."**

I take a deep breath and lean into him, letting his warmth seep into me. I want to focus on him, on this moment, but the guilt weighs heavy on my chest.

“You think she’ll really get over it?” I ask softly, not really expecting an answer but needing to hear him say it anyway.

JJ turns his head slightly, his lips brushing against my temple. “Eventually. Or maybe not. But either way, I’m not giving this up.” His voice is firm, and I can feel the truth in it.

I close my eyes for a moment, trying to silence the doubt. There’s something undeniably special between us—something that wasn’t there with anyone else. And maybe that’s why it feels so complicated. Maybe that’s why Kiara reacted the way she did when she found out.

**"I wish you knew that even you can’t get under my skin, if I don’t let you in…"**

“It’s not just Kie,” I whisper, more to myself than to him. “It’s everything. The looks. The comments.”

JJ pulls back slightly, his blue eyes searching mine. “You mean from the others? John B? Pope?”

I nod. “They keep acting like this is something we should’ve told them about sooner. Like we should’ve asked for permission or something.”

JJ sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I know it’s complicated with the Pogues, but at the end of the day, they’re gonna support us. Maybe they’re just weirded out because they didn’t see it coming. But who cares? This is about *us*, not them.”

His words are reassuring, but the sting of Kiara’s reaction still sits heavy in my chest. When she found out, the hurt in her eyes was unmistakable. She hadn’t said much, but the silence spoke volumes. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so torn between two people in my life.

“You don’t think I’m a terrible friend, do you?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

JJ tilts his head, his expression softening as he looks at me. “No. You’re not a terrible friend. You just…fell in love. And sometimes, that happens in ways people don’t expect.”

**"And I’m not asking you to let it go, but you’ve been telling your side, so I’ll be telling mine."*

It’s true. Kiara hasn’t exactly been shy about expressing her feelings on the matter, even if it’s been in subtle ways—pointed comments, sideways glances, and the awkward tension that fills the room whenever the three of us are together. But I’ve kept my side of the story mostly to myself, too afraid to make things worse.

“You know she called me the other night?” I say, breaking the silence.

JJ raises an eyebrow. “What did she say?”

“She just…wanted to know why. Why *you*? Why now?”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, his jaw tensing slightly as he processes my words. “And what did you tell her?”

I shrug, feeling the weight of that conversation settle over me again. “I told her the truth. That it just…happened. That I didn’t plan on falling for you, but I did.”

JJ’s lips quirk into a small smile, though there’s a hint of sadness in it. “And how did she take that?”

I let out a soft laugh, though it’s more out of exasperation than amusement. “She didn’t really respond. Just said she needed time to figure things out.”

He leans back on the couch, pulling me closer into his side. “Then let her have her time. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

**"You can try to get under my, under my, under my skin… but he’s all mine."**

The thing is, I know he’s right. I know that no matter what happens with Kiara or anyone else, this—what we have—it’s real. And I can’t let their opinions, their judgment, get in the way of that. JJ is mine, and I am his. That’s all that should matter.

“I just don’t want to lose her,” I admit softly, resting my head against his shoulder. “Or anyone.”

“You won’t,” JJ murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “And even if things are rocky for a while, we’ll figure it out. Together.”

I close my eyes, letting the comfort of his words wash over me. Maybe it won’t always be easy. Maybe there will always be a part of Kiara that resents me for this. But I can’t let that hold me back from being happy.

**"You can’t get under my skin, if I don’t let you in."**

And I won’t let her. Not anymore.

I pull back slightly to look at JJ, his face soft in the dim light of the room. “I love you, you know.”

His eyes light up with that mischievous glint I’ve come to adore, and he leans in, his lips brushing mine. “I know. And I love you too.”

For the first time in a while, I feel like maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

‐Thank You For Reading!🩵🩶

-prettygirl-Gabi✨️🎀

[snapghoul]

If we happen to be left half alive

Ethan discovers Mav almost died during the uranium mission.

Note: first of three ideas requested by Sunshine, so thank you ❤️❤️

Warnings: discussion of near death

Song: won’t get fooled again - the who

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Pete definitely felt his age. Ejecting from a jet traveling at Mach speed left him feeling like he'd been through a blender. His chest throbbed with bruises, and though he was thankful nothing was cracked or broken, it sure felt that way. He slumped in a chair at his beach house, aware that Cyclone had made it abundantly clear he needed to stay in Fightertown vicinity. That was a bitter pill to swallow; all Pete wanted was to return to the desert, fix his plane, and find some peace away from the endless parade of pilots knocking on his door. He loved his squad—those kids were just concerned—but he needed some time to simply exist.

With nothing on but the sound of the waves crashing across the narrow street, he leaned back in the chair, eyes closed, letting the beach’s rhythm wash over him. After two weeks of non-stop action and nearly dying in a frozen tundra, he craved nothing more than stillness.

The screen door creaked open, and he sighed, expecting it to be Bradley or another Dagger who felt entitled to stroll in unannounced. He braced himself for the impending visit but cracked an eye open when he heard a familiar sigh and saw someone settle onto the couch opposite him.

“Walk right in, welcome to Maverick’s revolving door. How can I help you?” Pete quipped, a chuckle escaping his lips. Ethan smirked, a soft snort of amusement slipping out.

“You should really lock that. Who knows who might just walk in?” Ethan replied, slouching deeper into the cushion, a rare display of comfort.

“If I did, I’d have to replace it. The Navy would just break it down,” Pete shrugged, wincing slightly at the jab of pain.

“I bet,” Ethan nodded. “I heard about the uranium situation.”

Pete raised an eyebrow, skepticism etched on his face, his brother always so quick to cut to the point. He lifted his head from the cushion, narrowing his eyes at his twin. “You heard, or you dug it up?”

Ethan matched his gaze, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. “Same difference.”

Pete rolled his eyes, anticipating that it wouldn’t be long before his brother started probing. They both understood the risks of their lives but rarely discussed them. Still, Ethan had always prioritized others' safety over his own, and Pete knew that well.

Pete prepared to reassure him, raising a hand to wave off the concern as he always did. But Ethan beat him to it, the fear and pain in his eyes silencing Pete's attempts at comfort.

“You got shot down, Peter! You infiltrated an enemy base to steal an F-14 Tomcat! You almost died—what the hell were you thinking?” The frustration echoed in Ethan's voice, the same tone he’d used when he shouted at Bradley for coming after him.

“Three times if you count getting shot at by a helicopter and almost going down again on the way out,” Pete replied, forcing a smile and shrugging, trying to lighten the mood.

But Ethan's expression darkened, brows furrowing and mouth tightening in disapproval.

“Ethan—” Pete started, but Ethan held up a hand to stop him.

“You almost died, three times! Look, I know I can’t talk, but—” Ethan clenched his fist, shaking his head in frustration. “You’re the only family I have left. If you die on me—”

Pete sat up with a groan. He knew this moment was coming, yet it still hit hard. It was a stark truth: they were all each other had. He felt the weight of their shared worry.

“I know, E, I know. I’m sorry. In that moment, if I didn’t put myself between those missiles and Bradley, it was a risk I was willing to take.” His voice was steady, resolute. He would take any risk for Bradley; he owed that much to Goose and Carol.

Ethan’s expression softened, realizing the depth of Pete’s commitment. It had been a long time since Bradley was mentioned, and Ethan understood how much the kid meant to his brother.

“Okay… just—be careful?” Ethan finally said, his voice more vulnerable.

Pete smiled, nodding. “Always. You be careful too.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their argument lingering. It wasn’t often they clashed like this. Ethan sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m actually surprised they didn’t send you. Y’know, a secret uranium site in a remote, impossible location seems more your style,” Pete said with a smile.

Ethan chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

[thesilmarillionblog]

𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭: 𝟖

Click here to read the first part.

Summary: You and Soldier Boy want to create a family and move on from everything, even the Vought, but you also know that he has to face Homelander one last time to keep his vow to Butcher. However, nothing turns out as you had hoped.

Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader

Warnings: light smut, angst, language, sexual tension, teasing

Word Count: 5814

A/N: English is not my first language.

This is inspired by the song 'Remembrance' by Memoria Futuri.༊

Your fingertips reached out the eagle symbol as your hands moved over the hard plate on his chest while you remained seated on his lap. Soldier Boy continued to watch every move you made. As the minutes went on, his grasp on your stomach grew softer, and you started to question your ability to truly influence his thoughts over Cate and other things. You hoped you would be able to go back inside his heart and that he would be able to love you without missing the times that you were reluctant to remember.

You wanted to make things right because you felt a strong draw toward him, even if you weren't sure how.

You were cool with it if he wanted you to Temp-V so he wouldn't force your mind to surrender you to the merciless hands of another Supe. You were obviously anxious to discover your dynamics with him, but you must have done it many times with him. You were curious about how he treated you in bed. The idea heated your cheeks. 

As if sensing it, he remarked in a playful tone, “What are you thinking now?”

“Nothing,” you said. “Just us.”

Your answer warmed his heart. If he couldn't remember every detail of the times you had spent together, he would say it was deja vu. But you were back on his lap, telling him that all you could think about was him and you. You sounded precisely the same, as if you were deliberately recreating that same moment, so he wondered whether he was right to think that you were different. But all memories were forgotten, and here you were in his arms. 

You made an effort to approach him more closely than you had previously, and you inquired, “Are you okay too, though? Instead of focusing on finding Cate and forcing me to recall things, considering extending my time.”

He said, “On one condition.” His hands seemed softer now, like if he could pull them back at any second. 

“I already accepted taking that thing you mentioned, Temp-V.”

“There is one more,” he said with determination. His expression was serious. 

“What now?” You sighed. He was constantly asking something more.

“If you can't remember a single thing in a month, you will agree to get help from Cate.”

You instantly said, “No way!” and were irate that he hadn't even given you six months. You had doubts; he cared about your feelings much. “You're being cruel. Let me have four months.”

With a tone of rage, “Fuck no,” Soldier Boy tightened his hold on your body. “One and a half.”

You sighed, seeing how quickly he was growing furious. “You're asking too much from me, you know.” There was something different about his rage. 

“How it's too much when I want the woman I loved to come back to me.”

The way he utilized the past tense made your body tense. Your mood fell as you realized that, despite your best efforts, there was still some distance between you. Your palms touched the eagle symbol on his chest and then went gently down to the belt, which had a star symbol on it. Soldier Boy felt regret after realizing what he had just said, but instead of offering an apology, he said nothing that would have made you feel even worse. 

You were reaching out to him, and he was reaching out to you, but your efforts were going in separate directions. Why did he find it so difficult to accept you as you are? Was the difference between the old and new you really that much? You questioned if you were really that annoying.

You muttered, “Give me three months then,” without responding to what he had just said. There was a hint of disappointment in your voice. It was difficult to control how you were feeling.

With annoyance, Soldier Boy examined your face and inhaled deeply. “One and a half. That's all I will give. Discussion is over.”

“No.”

“For God's sake,” he murmured in frustration. You began to become enraged with him for his impatient manner since he was being so persistent. At least he could acknowledge some of your decisions while you were being so kind, even if he didn't like your new version.

You scowled and tried to get to your feet to break free of his hold, but his hands stopped you with ease. Soldier Boy drew you closer to his body with a serious look, saying, “Stop moving.”

You placed your hands on his shoulders and said, “You stop being a stubborn asshole.” Then, with a rapid motion that brought your body even closer to his, you gasped, “Ow!” as his iron belt hurt your stomach.

Soldier Boy instantly released his hold on you. His expression was one of perplexity, as though he hadn't realized what he was doing. You questioned how you managed to stay with him for so long given how harsh he was and had such a temper. 

“Language.” With a hint of irritation in his tone, he playfully responded, “Show some respect to your man. That's what happens when you don't listen to me.” He replaced your body back on his lap. He looked over your stomach and raised your t-shirt a little higher to see if you were hurt. It burned a bit, but there was just a slight scretch. 

For a split second, you felt like a foolish young girl because of your excitement at his remarks. “I wonder how I survived with you,” you muttered once more as you stopped physically battling with him. Soldier Boy's fingers lightly touched the small mark on your stomach, giving him a disappointed expression, yet his expression was serious on the other side. “I should have been with a regular man who would respect my choices.”

He got frustrated that you brought up being with another man instead of him and remarked, “Watch your mouth,” as he let your t-shirt fall in a rough manner. “Respect the decisions you've made? A man is a pathetic and useless pussy who can't fix anything if he just lets go of everything when his woman experiences memory loss.”

“Or?” you said, trying to lighten the mood by lightly teasing him. While you were still on his lap talking to him about your future together, you realized it wouldn't be a good idea to argue with him. “And I'm not something to be fixed. You must know how thick your skull is.”

With a little smile, he studied your face and body till your cheeks reddened. You tried to get away from him slightly, but he held on closely. You stiffened up as his fingertips continued to linger on your skin and gently moved into your t-shirt. 

“What were you saying? Now, what happened? Do you need me to remind you of the other thick parts of my body that you found most pleasing?” Soldier Boy inquired, a sly smile playing on his lips. It was apparent that he was enjoying your response to him. You could feel the hardness of him beneath his suit as he rubbed your body against it. His mouth was so dirty that it made your cheeks flush crimson.

You whispered, “Don't change the subject,” without saying anything more. Your pussy had other plans, even though you tried not to stare at his massive member beneath you. “Will you allow me enough time? Four months seems like a reasonable amount of time.”

“No way.” He said it in a more controlled manner this time. You knew he was briefly looking at your body as his hands and fingers caressed your skin and held you tightly to his body. There was desire in his eyes; you could tell that.

Instead of disturbing you, though, it unexpectedly thrilled you. It seemed as though there was a magnetic pull between you or that your bodies were attempting to reunite in a more intimate manner. 

“That would be enough, and it benefits you the most,” you said. 

He arched an eyebrow at your refusal, chuckling. “In what ways will it benefit me?” Then Soldier Boy took a serious attitude, although it was clear that he was amused by your attempts. 

You stated, “If I don't love you back the way I had loved you in the past, you can tell my emotions were fake or something.” Even though you knew it was a cheap move, you still felt like you had to try it. 

The look on Soldier Boy's face shifted, as if he gave it some real thought. You might sense there was a brief moment of little lack of confidence if you didn't know how much he knew about himself. Nonetheless, he was undoubtedly the most attractive and powerful Super. 

“I know you love me already, and when you said you did, you said it sincerely.” There was no debate after his sharp remarks. “It doesn't matter if you remember or not.”

You dared to challenge him even though it wasn't a smart move. “How can you be so sure, and why so stubborn if it doesn't matter?”

“Because I can tell when you are lying. They are not the same thing,” he replied. 

With a cunning appearance on his lips, he watched you cautiously as your hands slid gently over his suit. You could have chuckled at how patient he was now, in spite of his intolerance only moments before, if you hadn't felt his hardness beneath you. 

You posed a lighthearted question, “Can I change your mind a bit?” You wanted him to be unconscious of how much this was fun for you, but you both were into playing a little. There was an overpowering need for discovering your balance with him. 

Your hands returned to his shoulders after carefully grazing each and every inch of his suit. As he stared at you and did nothing except hold you close, you felt a kind of joy emerge in your chest. Soldier Boy was the one who was closest to you and was willing to let you do everything you wanted to do him, even though you had known Butcher and the other guys for a very long time. You knew it was different with him.

“I'm not sure. You have to give it a try,” Soldier Boy grumbled, returning his hands to your hips. “You must know I'm not very easy to convince.”

“I see that,” you winked at him. At least you knew just how stubborn he was without needing your memories to return. However, you were equally determined about pursuing what you wanted. 

Soldier Boy couldn't resist chuckling when he saw how much you were already enjoying. For a little while, you felt as though you knew him as well as he knew you, and everything between you was normal. 

You said, almost in a whisper, “I want to bargain,” shifting slightly on him despite the fact that your cheeks were burning. If he acted more stubbornly and pushed you away, you would be quite embarrassed. 

To your astonishment, though, his hands kept stroking your hips—only more forcefully this time. Instead of harming you, he was once again showing his dominance to you. 

When you noticed he was considering it, you asked again, your cheeks heated, and you started to move on him a little. “Can we negotiate?” 

“Yeah,” he murmured, seemingly disconnected from what you had to say, and instead he stared at your body. 

That's when Soldier Boy turned to look at you. His eyes were staring at you intensely. You trusted him when he said he missed you. You were there with him, comfortably seated on his lap. You weren't uncomfortable or anything even a day ago. It just felt right to be with him.

Soldier Boy smirked and gave you a quick ass squeeze. “Show me what you can do to convince me,” he urged. Although your eyes became wide, you were determined not to allow Cate to touch you and fuck your brain's balance. 

You weren't sure how far you would go without Temp-V at the time, and you didn't know how much he would go far. You had at first wanted to speak with Butcher. But there has to be a way to get him interested enough. 

You shifted slightly on his lap, one hand caressing his neck and hair, the other gently touching his huge bisceps. Your lips parted in surprise and desire as you felt his erection under you. Even though you had both stated that you were not interested in having sex before you remembered him, here you were, unable to get your hands off of one another as if you were meant to be together forever. 

You remained motionless, yet your lips were almost in contact. All you could do was stare into his eyes. He continued to hold you, the mock on his lips disappearing as his hold on your hips grew stronger and stronger. 

“How about...” you muttered. “Four months?” 

“Fuck no,” he responded, giving you a firm squeeze to move on him. 

To give you adequate space, Soldier Boy widened his legs a little. As you moved, you could feel his hands tightening around your thighs and his breathing becoming heavier. The strength difference between you made you a little uneasy, but you would have told him the moment his touch began to hurt. 

He suddenly said in a stern voice, “I should have fucked you on that table,” urging you to continue. Although there was quite a barrier between you and his pants, it didn't stop you from getting pleasure. 

Your body and cheeks became flushed from embarrassment, but you persisted and stated, “Give me four months.” 

You could never have agreed to let some other Supe get near you and screw your mind even more. 

You gasped in shock when Soldier Boy ignored what you had said and put a firm grasp on one of your tits through your t-shirt. He had hands all over the place. By the end, you weren't sure if you would be the one to get what you wanted. All of his focus was on his own needs.

“Feel how much you still make me hard, baby,” he muttered on your neck, pressing you on his stiff cock more thoroughly. “We haven't been this way in a very long time. I've so fucking missed watching you move on my cock.”

Longing was present in his final words, along with a lot of yearning. Though you tried to dismiss it and concentrate on the present, you couldn't help but feel a type of sadness tightening in your chest. Though you hoped you missed him just as much as he did, you showed no signs of this feeling. It seemed as though you had never separated. 

At that moment, you found yourself willing to play the game he needed.

In an attempt to give him what he truly desired from you, you hesitated before placing one of your hands on his and making him squeeze your ass firmly. 

“How much did you miss me?” you asked, meeting his gaze directly. Though your lips met his, it was not a kiss. His lips and touch were warm. 

It would be great if you knew his name, but though you tried so hard, you could not recall. You hoped that you had forgotten Butcher's instead.

Soldier Boy's lips began to lick your neck and throat. “So fucking much,” he moaned. It was evident from the way he moved underneath you that this was making him harder than before. 

Between gasps, you proceeded, encouraged by his reaction to your touch and words, “Will you give me four months?” His grip on your hips began to ache a little, but you bit your lip to keep the moment from being ruined until you had what you wanted.

He groaned, “Don't stop,” as soon as he noticed you were moving on him more slowly. His finger was lingering around your trousers and giving you little bruises. You tense up, thinking he's going to rip them off, so you tried to get the speed that Soldier Boy needed.

“You did give me a good hand job there, didn't you?” He let out a moan as you struggled to maintain the same pace. You made an effort to loosen his hold somewhat with your hand, but he didn't seem to be listening. 

“Given how long it's been, you would let me fuck you raw right now, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you allow me to fully fill your tight pussy and fuck you from behind till you can't move?” You eventually whimpered as Soldier Boy tightened his grasp on your hips and murmured into your ear. 

“Careful!” His hot kisses on your neck were so passionate and intimate that you felt yourself losing yourself in the moment with him as you moaned in pain and stroked his hands to calm him. 

He said, “I'm not even using force; relax,” as if he were at the end of his tolerance. It was impossible to determine if he was very aroused or enraged. Most likely, he had no idea how powerful he was. You came to the realization that using Temp-V was a wise decision. It was risky to be with a supe like him since you never knew if he was aware of what he was doing. 

His lips captured yours with desire, allowing you to slow down and ultimately release his hands from your hips without allowing you to say anything more. You felt a bit more at ease once he released your hips. 

You said, “We need to calm down,” in between kisses. You gave him softer, more tender kisses in return for his fierce, heated ones. It was absurd that you felt safe getting closer to a man you had only met the day before.

Soldier Boy was not your boyfriend; he was a stranger in fact. Someone you couldn't remember. But your heart knew the right path. 

He moaned, “Can't get my hands off of you,” kissing you this time with care and desire. “Fuck, I need to be inside you right now.”

“But I didn't take Temp-V,” you murmured hurriedly. It was difficult for you to make predictions as to how you did it because you couldn't recall your private moments with him.

“So?” Not sure what you were hinting at, Soldier Boy stated in a querying tone.

You muttered, “I don't know,” struggling to find the right words. “How.. we used to do it.”

“Do what?” he repeated, but this time he was smirking.

You stopped him and said, “Don't act like an asshole,” but his rough hands were already on your hips once more.

He kissed you hard and briefly in between talking about your attitude, saying, “The first thing you must remember is that'respect' for sure. And yes, we did it many times without Temp-V or anything else.”

You've been rubbing yourself against him and quietly panting. You just whispered, “Hmm.”

Once more, Soldier Boy gained complete control over your body and forced you to rub up against him while murmuring, “You wouldn't believe how many times I've fucked you without Temp-V.”

As gentle fingers ran through your hair, you muttered, “Was it good enough for you?”

“Perfect,” Soldier Boy responded with honesty.

“Protection?” you asked once again. It was difficult to comprehend what kind of power imbalance there might be between you and Soldier Boy during such times. He wasn't even aware how hard he grasped your hips until you warned him. 

“No,” to make it short, Soldier Boy's brought your body as close as his as he possibly could. You scowled as you saw his expression change. His voice had lost its tone of amusement and had become harsh. 

“Why?” 

“I'm a supe. There's no way I... could get you pregnant. Our DNA's are built differently.” Oh. 

Expressing verbally, a sort of rage entered Soldier Boy's heart. He couldn't recall the last time he had given an explanation for his inability to complete something. Even if he didn't intend to have children at that moment, it hurt his pride as a man to be unable to get you pregnant. He repeatedly filled you in a single day and continued to do so for months, but you were never able to conceive.

You said, “Okay,” in a whisper. Though he had made it plain, he did not explicitly state that the reason was that you were weaker than him. You were unable to overcome the anguish that was around your heart like a glass.

You couldn't stop thinking if the person you used to be had any plans to have a baby with him. You were startled that the thought didn't even slightly worry you as your mind raced with images of you, Soldier Boy, and a tiny baby. On the contrary, it kind of excited you. But it looks like the concept would remain a far-off fantasy that wouldn't ever come to pass. 

“So,” you began, hoping to get the conversation to go somewhere else. Your hands hesitantly touched his chest, then his iron belt, making contact with the star sign. “How about our negotiation?”

“Two months,” he said emphatically, as if nothing could make him reconsider at that very moment. 

If you weren't sitting on his lap while he stared at you longingly and with anticipation, you would have giggled at his inflexibility. You wanted to take some time and give it your all, even though you were aware of his earlier statements that he wouldn't love you in this way. 

You reached between his legs with your hands down. You could feel him tensing beneath you as your palms found his hardness through his jeans. He began to loosen his hold on your body when it became too tight since he clearly didn't want to harm you. 

“Two months is not enough,” you told him, lightly stroking his hardened cock with your palm against his trousers. 

With a swift moment, Soldier Boy shifted your positions and with an escaped gasp on your lips, you were under him, on the bed. He gently pushed your hair from your face and placed himself between your legs. Your eyes widened with surprise as he took your hand and put on his cock, making you to rub him through his pants.

Neglecting your words, Soldier Boy said, “Take it out.” He was already waiting for you to do something. “Now.”

Excitement flooded your body, so you followed his orders. After giving him a few more rubs to torment him, you unzipped his pants very slowly to get him more thrilled, though messing with a Supe wasn't a smart idea. 

“I thought you didn't want to touch me until I remembered everything,” you stated. “Why did you say it if you didn't mean it?”

“I decided to change my opinion, and why not? We used to bang five times in a row,” he snapped back. He truly never felt embarrassed over anything. Your body became hot when you attempted to figure out how you could take him so many times. 

You whispered, blushing at his bold remarks, “Don't you have a filter on your mouth?”

Soldier Boy said in your ear, “You should hear me when I'm inside you, swetheart,” as you finally succeeded in unipping his pants with trembling hands. You couldn't help but notice the longing on his face, his messy hair, and his hot breath. He was terribly good-looking and masculine. 

With a slight roughness in his voice, he thrust his hips toward your hand and seemed eager to continue. 

“Are you thinking about how much time you'll give me?” You inquired lightly, refusing to take him out of his suit no matter how many times he ordered you to continue. Soldier Boy shot you a cold stare right after. 

“Depends.” 

“On?” 

“Your little handiwork performance,” he stated with a brief smile that offered you his desire. 

With a hesitant smile back, your hands started to work on his pants to remove him. It was a play that you were both on. You two knew what was happening probably made you more thrilled than he was, and he would stop whenever you wanted him to, so it wasn't like he was pressuring you into doing anything you didn't want to. That was ingrained in your bones and feelings. 

You struggled to free him from his suit and were a little afraid of seeming foolish. Once some time had passed, you gave him a helpless glance. All Soldier Boy did was smirk mischievously over you. 

You said, “You could give a hand,” as your hands were a little aggressive on the material. 

“I thought that was what you're going to do.”

You surprised yourself by pulling his head to yourself and kissing him, refusing to let him torture you any longer. Thank goodness, Soldier Boy responded to your kisses instantly, and it didn't take long for his to take control and start making coarse noises within your mouth. 

You had no idea who was making louder noises or which of you was kissing each other harder. You were just aware that he was pressing you against the bed. He pulled back, allowing you a moment to catch your breath. During that moment, his lips remained on your neck, giving you a few gentle nibbles that left you whimpering.

You could feel the desire between your legs as Soldier Boy's hands frantically tugged at his clothes to get himself free. You were unsure if he would take you there.

Your phone rang in your pocket, and you realized that he was about to pull his cock out of his pants. As Soldier Boy was ready to pull down his pants, he grumbled in displeasure and halted, ignoring the phone ringing in your pocket. 

With a frantic “Oh, wait,” you attempted to shove his body away. 

Then Soldier Boy quickly took the phone from your pocket and glared at the screen with enraged eyes before letting you react. He stood up, leaving you on the bed by yourself, still gasping after the passionate interaction you had. You could tell who was calling by the way he looked across the room—it seemed like he was waiting for the right opportunity to enrage Soldier Boy even more. 

“You're a dead man,” muttered Soldier Boy as he held the phone up to his ear. “You and your worthless team.” Though it was barely audible, his voice was full of promise. 

Whispering, “Give it to me,” you hastily rose from the bed and attempted to take your phone from Soldier Boy's hands. 

It was obvious that Butcher was getting on Soldier Boy's nerves, even if you could only make out some of what he was saying. Butcher always had an ability of getting under people's skin. 

“How many lies you've told her, I don't know, but one thing is certain. You and your pitiful pets had best hide out in whatever shithole you are now in, because I'm going to kill you all.”

Soldier Boy eventually handed you the phone, ignoring everything Butcher was saying to him. As you waited for Butcher to speak, your pulse raced with thoughts and confusion, but you were at your breaking point. 

“I've called you a hundred times since yesterday,” you immediately complained. It was clear from your voice that you were disappointed. 

You paced the room, ignoring Soldier Boy as he observed you intently and zipped back his pants and straightened his suit. 

“We needed to exercise caution since he managed to catch you. Are you alright?” Butcher questioned it as if it were a common question. You were getting tired of his insensitive attitude already. 

You answered him harshly, “I need to talk to you in private,” ignoring his question.

“This is not the place for you to come. Sweetie, you'd put us all in danger.”

It was difficult to ignore the awful weight of rejection from someone who you still called friend and remembered with a heavy heart. You were aware that, for the most part, Soldier Boy was being truthful at that point. You were dumbstruck at how easily Butcher cast you aside while continuing to discuss safety.

“In somewhere else, of course,” you remarked coldly. “He will not follow me.”

You looked at Soldier Boy to see how he responded, but he was already seated and preoccupied with smoking weed aggressively across the room. Even though he occasionally sent you glares, you wanted to think he wouldn't break his promise to you. 

“Don't be so sure, honey,” Butcher sighed, unsure of how to handle the situation without putting the squad at risk by speaking with you. 

You said, emphasizing every syllable, “He's treating me good. We can meet in the house we all used to live in. I'll go there by myself. Alone.”

Butcher said, “Fine,” not wanting to talk about it any more. “Make sure you come here by yourself, baby,” he asked. Butcher owed you a conversation, even if he wasn't eager to meet you or risk running into Soldier Boy again when he really intended to kill him that much. Especially not after what he had done to both of you.

Of course, there were other topics to talk about.

Feeling relieved that he finally agreed, Butcher informed you when to meet and hang up without saying anything else. You were far too hurt to talk with him without coming out as fragile. After standing for a while staring at the screen of your phone and doing nothing, you turned to face Soldier Boy, who had already begun to drink. Then he looked at you. It was difficult to determine this time if his expression was one of hatred or rage. It was unclear if it was directed against Butcher, you, or both. 

You muttered, “I need to talk to him alone,” which gave you nothing to talk about. It was too much for you to handle.

You felt lost and alone once again.

Soldier Boy said, “Come here,” in a quiet voice. He sighed, seeing your mood drop and your smile fade. He detested seeing you so distressed and heartbroken. It would be simpler if you could just remember, but you were terrified. He couldn't figure out why.

Soldier Boy made you sit on his lap once again and gave you a tight embrace as if he could see what you were going through. Your head was on the cool material of his suit, where the eagle emblem was supposed to be. His warmth was relaxing and soothing.

You said, “He wants me to go to him alone,” hoping that he wouldn't provoke another argument once more.

Surprising you, he simply said, “Okay.”

“Just because I'm not going there with you for this time doesn't mean I won't murder him,” Soldier Boy firmly said, “He will pay for what he did to both of us. He and the others will die for that.”

You wanted nothing bad to happen to Butcher or the others, in spite of all that he had done to you. You knew you would never stay with Butcher again the moment he accepted the lies he'd told you. It did not, however, imply that you wanted his or the others' deaths. The only thing that would be lost would be trust, and that would be enough price.

You stated, “I don't want to talk about this right now,” implying that you didn't want to discuss Butcher or anybody else. You felt his muscles tense beneath your touch, so you decided it wouldn't be a good idea to tell Soldier Boy that you didn't want Butcher to die. 

He kissed your hair, and you closed your eyes with relief. He murmured, “Fine,” with a soothing voice. His roughness didn't make his arms and kisses seem unsafe.

You said, “But I can't stay here too,” keeping in mind that you would have had to see the Seven, Homelander, and their heinous deeds every day. The idea itself was dreadful. “I don't want anything related to the Seven or Vought.”

Soldier Boy inhaled deeply and remembered the last night you spent together, months ago, when everything was okay. At least your hatred for Vought and Homelander did not change. That was good enough. Although he too had no desire to interact with them, he was forced to do so due to the circumstances. For the time being. 

He continued, “We'll talk about such things later,” in a harsh voice, his hands lightly brushing your back as though he were trying to comfort you. 

“Where will I be staying?”

Soldier Boy scowled at your thoughts of living alone. “Obviously, not here.” As if he would let you go. 

With pride, he declared, “I own a place. We’ll stay there.” Though it didn't, it would have been preferable if things had gone as you two had hoped months ago. He wished he had purchased a house while you still remembered him. He would like to see your reaction.

You inhaled with gratitude upon learning that you would not be residing in Vought Tower. You could tolerate this as long as you didn't encounter Homelander and everyone. You were aware that Soldier Boy wouldn't allow you to go elsewhere, apart from him. Whatever had occurred or would happen, you had to confront it.

“Have you thought about the amount of time you'll give me?”

Soldier Boy took another look at the problem and groaned at your intransigent demeanor. He said, “Two and a half months,” playing with your hair and curling it with his fingers. “Not a single day more.”

“Make it three.”

“You are always greedy, aren't you?” He teased to lighten your mood. “Fuck it. Fine.”

“Will you tell me your name?” You asked in a low voice, realizing that you had never addressed him by name and recalling how disappointed he was when you couldn't recall it. You forced yourself to recall it till your brain hurt, but it was just impossible. You felt horrible about not being able to recall even one letter. 

You said, “Jack?” in an attempt to predict what he was going to say before he did. “Kevin? Eric?” 

“Fuck, quit saying other men names. Who the fuck are they?” He abruptly became irate and cut you off; jealousy was clearly taking over. 

“I don't know anyone with those names.” You said, playing with his possessive gaze as you raised your head to look at him. “Are you jealous?” 

“I am,” he declared firmly. The roughness in his tone made you giggle.

“You can forget everything—my face, my name, and even our memories—but you never forget that you are solely mine. You belong to me in your every version.”

⋆⋅☆⋆☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──────⋆⋅☆⋆☆⋅⋆

A/N: I guess that was a filler chapter. Please let me know what you think. Comments are keep me going. ♡

Taglist: @smexydilflover @deebris @coolrobloxkid28 @endrfairy @libby99hb @raynamorono23 @cwutesygrl @ladysparkles78 @seokjinluvb0t      @deangirl96 @whendiditendalthoughenjoyment @mostlymarvelgirl @dilfsandmartinis @deans-spinster-witch    @mayafatimakhan @riah1606   @ahoytothestorm @hells-dragon @bitchykittenconnoisseur @ladykitana90 @xmariakx @demodemo909 @placeboetkisi @sukunassfinger @startingstar @iwouldfightforfrenchie @badbishsblog @n-o-p-e-never @mochminnie @idonotknowenglish @ratkidcalledallie

@unleashthelion @lightandshadow31 @yinmaggiorebass @roseamie01 @ilovecooperhoward @cnmcgee @peachhiz

[persephoneflowerpetals]

‘Til Death

Chapter 10: Three Little Words

Chapter 9: The Exes

Chapter 11: Last Chance (WIP)

It was about noon in Corinth. The sun was shining up in the bright blue sky as the birds sang their beautiful songs. Persephone sat in the field of freshly grown wild flowers of the Corinthian meadows, taking a much needed break as Thallo grazed on a grassy hill nearby.

Persephone had been working very hard recently to make sure she was bringing spring to the lands of Greece on time. Since she had wasted so much time crying and sleeping the day she ran into Minthe and Leuke, she was a bit behind schedule, so instead of moping around and worrying about Hades, she decided to put her time and energy into her work.

True, the goddess was still very heartbroken about her sudden realization that Hades probably didn’t love her, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from doing her job. She’s certainly had a few crying spells here and there whenever she got to thinking about Hades, but she was a strong goddess. A broken heart wasn’t going to prevent her from bringing another beautiful spring. Thankfully, Hades hasn’t visited her in quite a while, so she’s had some time to think of how she could end things with him, even though she really, really didn’t want to. 

“You have to do this, Persephone. You can’t love a god that doesn’t love you. Just look at what happened with Narcissus and Echo.” she thought to herself as she watched the fluffy white clouds drift by in the sky.

Suddenly, Persephone heard the familiar sound of crackling flames, the smell of sulfur hitting her nose. She immediately sat up with a surprised gasp to see a cloud of smoke and flames appearing not too far away from her. 

“Oh, gods…not him! Not now! I can’t do this! I’m not ready!” she internally panicked as she stood up from the ground and brushed the grass and dirt off of her chiton.

There he was. Hades now stood before her in the flower field with his arms outstretched like he was ready for a hug, “Hey! Babe! It’s been a while! What’s shakin’, huh?” he greeted with a smile.

Persephone forced a smile as she avoided eye contact with him, looking everywhere but his face as she stayed put. She was so anxious, she felt like she could jump right out of her skin.

“Hey.” she replied softly, trying her best to stay calm and casual.

Hades could immediately tell something was off. Her facial expression, her body language, it was very unlike her. Normally, when he came to visit her he was greeted with an adorable smile, a big hug, and a kiss, but now, for some reason, Persephone refused to go near him. The goddess just stood there, practically glued to that spot in the flowery field as she anxiously stroked a lock of her hair.

The god dropped his arms to his side and raised his brow with suspicion, “You okay? You look like someone just pulled an arrow on you. What’s wrong?” he asked as he approached Persephone.

“I’m fine.” she answered quickly as she turned to walk away from him. Hades stopped in his tracks as he watched the goddess walk in the opposite direction.

“Something’s definitely up.” Hades thought as he started walking after her, trying to be mindful not to trample the flowers in the field.

“You’re obviously not fine because you’re walking away from me like I’m tryin‘ to sell ya chariot insurance. Seriously, what’s the deal? What’s goin’ on with you?” he asked.

“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m just…tired. That’s all.” Persephone lied as she made a beeline for the edge of the field where a row of tall shady trees sat. She then stopped at the trees and started sprouting bright green vines with little pink flowers onto the trees, keeping her back turned to him. She hoped that if he saw she was busy working, he would leave her alone.

Hades wasn’t buying it for a second, “You’re a terrible liar, y’know that? C’mon, just tell me what’s going on.” he said, finally catching up with Persephone by the trees. 

Persephone didn’t reply. She just busied herself by adding more little flowers to fill the empty spots of the vines she had made, still keeping her back turned to him. She was blatantly avoiding him at this point, but Hades was determined to get to the bottom of this.

“Hey,” Hades gently took her hand away from the tree so she’d focus on him for a moment. Persephone finally turned to look at him as he cupped her cheek with his other hand, turning her head a bit so they could be completely face to face, “…talk to me, babe. What’s wrong?”

Persephone placed her hand over his hand on her cheek as she gazed into his eyes that were filled with concern. For a split second, Persephone truly believed that he loved and cared for her, but then she was reminded of what Minthe had said to her before.

“Next thing you know, you’re being lured in by that charming smile and those amber eyes of his…you’re a ‘spring fling’ and nothing more.”

“Hades…I…” Persephone’s anxious expression turned to a pained and sorrowful one as she closed her eyes and gently squeezed his hand, slowly taking it away from her face. She so desperately wanted to avoid all of this and just run away and hide, but she couldn’t. She had to end it now or else she never will. She couldn’t let Hades break her heart…even though she felt as if she were already breaking it herself.

Persephone looked up at him with a tearful expression, his large gray-blue hands still gently holding hers, “I don’t…think we should see each other anymore.”

She closed her eyes again, shutting them tighter as tears began to fall down her face. Hades just stood there like a Greek statue, completely stunned and utterly baffled. He wondered if perhaps he had a little chunk of brimstone wedged in his ear and didn’t hear her correctly, “Wh…What?”

“I’m sorry. I just...I can’t…I…I’m so sorry.” Persephone softly wept as she struggled to find the right words to say. This was far too painful for her to bear and she just couldn’t face him any longer. She suddenly slipped her hands out of his as she dashed away from him.

“Persephone! Wait! Hold on! Let’s just talk about this!” Hades called out as he immediately started chasing after her.

Persephone could hear Hades running behind her and stopped for a short moment to use her powers to manifest herself away from him so he wouldn’t follow her.

“Persephone! Don’t —“ Hades reached out to try and grab her arm, but he was too late. Persephone had already disappeared in a swirl of small leaves in pastel pink flower petals, leaving Hades all alone in the middle of the flower field.

~X~X~X~X~

Pain and Panic sat on the floor of Hades’ throne room, a deck of playing cards (or the Ancient Greece equivalent of playing cards) placed between them as they each held a handful of cards. Since Hades was off visiting Persephone for the first time in a while, they figured they could use that spare time to relax and take it easy.

“I wonder how things are going with Hades and Persephone? He hasn’t seen her in like…forever.” Pain pondered as he grabbed a card from the deck.

As if on cue, Hades appeared in the throne room, in a red, fiery blaze. He was practically shaking with fury as he let out an enraged scream, his entire body engulfed in flames.

Pain and Panic jumped with a yelp, tossing their playing cards up in the air as they all became scattered on the floor. The imps cowered together in terror as Panic quickly hid behind Pain, “I don’t think it’s going well.” Panic whispered.

“I DON’T BELIEVE THIS!” Hades bellowed, “I’M GONE FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS AND SHE BREAKS UP WITH ME!?”

“Wait…Persephone broke up with you?!” Pain asked with surprise, feeling a little more relaxed now that he knew he and Panic weren’t the source of Hades’ wrath (for once).

“But, w-why?! You two were so happy together! What happened?!” Panic questioned as he peeked out from behind his round partner in crime.

“I. DON’T. KNOW!” Hades shouted, the flames on his body flaring out with every word to emphasize his frustration.

The god went over to his throne to sit as his minions slowly and hesitantly approached him. He took a deep breath to calm himself down for a moment so he could think rationally.

“This is…this is insane. I mean, why would she break up with me? I didn’t even do anything! So, I haven’t seen her in a while, so what!? It’s not grounds for a break up! She knows we can’t see each other every day! I just can’t understand why she’d just dump me like that! Outta nowhere! She was just fine last time we met!” Hades ranted as he slumped over on his throne, resting his elbows on his knees, “This just doesn’t make any sense…something happened while I was gone. She must’ve talked to someone. There’s gotta be somebody else involved here.”

“Maybe she told her mom about you. Demeter’s not exactly your biggest fan. I don’t think she’d be too happy if she found out that you and Persephone were together.” Panic suggested.

“No, it wasn’t Demeter. If it was, she would’ve ripped my head off by now….no, somebody must’ve said something to Persephone that was enough to make her leave me…but who in the Underworld would have the nerve to —“ Hades paused for a moment before his expression began to harden.

“Minthe.”

Hades then arose from his throne with a scowl and made his way out of the throne room, “Don’t wait up for me, boys.” he said as he strode past them.

The imps watched him in confusion as he exited the room, “Where ya goin’, boss?” Pain asked curiously.

“I got some business to take care of. Need to pay a little visit to one of my old flames.”

~X~X~X~X~

Persephone ended up manifesting herself in the luscious garden of her temple near Athens. It was filled with gorgeous plants and flowers of all sizes and colors. There was a beautiful little pond covered with lily pads and lotus blossoms that sat in the middle of the garden with an ivory stone bench next to it. The goddess practically threw herself onto the bench as she sobbed into her arms.

“Why does this hurt so bad? Yes, I loved him, but he didn’t love me. It was only a matter of time before he would leave and break my heart. I had to do it. I should be happy he’s gone…and yet I feel so empty.” she wondered as she laid there crying on the bench.

“Persephone!” 

Out of nowhere, a familiar voice called out from across the garden. The spring goddess sat up on the bench and looked around. 

“Mother?”

Demeter finally spotted Persephone on the bench from across the pond and went over to her, “There you are! I’ve been looking all over Greece for you! Where have you —“ she began before noticing her daughter’s red, puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

“Persephone, cherry blossom. What’s the matter?” Demeter asked with concern as she sat down next to her daughter.

“It’s a long story….and honestly….I think if I tell you, you’ll hate me.” Persephone admitted as she pitifully sniffled and wiped her tears away from her eyes.

“No, sweet pea, I’d never hate you! You know you can tell me anything. Please, tell me what’s gotten you so upset.” Demeter asked as she manifested a handkerchief to help wipe Persephone’s tears away.

Persephone let out a shaky sigh then looked away from her mother, focusing her attention on a random spot on the ground. She knew she was going to have this conversation with her mother at some point, however, she imagined it would’ve been under better circumstances than this.

Persephone then proceeded to tell her mother about everything she’s been through since they last saw each other, all while keeping her eyes fixed on the ground, not wanting to see her mother’s facial expression as she confessed. She did her best to explain all of her thoughts and feelings she had as she spent time with Hades, wanting her mother to understand why she’s done the things she’s done.

“…so, after the picnic, he suggested we take a walk along the river, so we did…and we just…talked. After a while we got to the river bridge and the sun was setting. We stopped talking for a minute to just take in the pretty view. Then I looked at him while he was watching the water and I started getting that funny feeling I told you about before, like butterflies in my tummy…that’s when it finally hit me. I realized at that moment…I was in love with him. That whole time, all those weird feelings I got when I was around him, when he looked at me, when he complimented me, when he laughed, when he smiled…I…I loved him…..so I kissed him.”

Persephone squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her tears beginning to resurface. Not only was she scared of her mother’s reaction to this news, but it hurt to think back to the moment she fell for him now that they weren’t together anymore.

Demeter was quiet, trying to process all of this new information, but there was no indication that she was mad or upset, “How did Hades react?” she then asked calmly.

Persephone opened her eyes and looked towards her mother. She really expected Demeter to be fussing at her and scolding her for feeling such a way towards Hades. Her mother’s calm tone and demeanor after hearing her confession made Persephone feel a little less anxious about the conversation.

She took another deep breath to settle her nerves before explaining Hades’ reaction to her kiss and everything that transpired after that, from the moment she left the Underworld, to her recent meeting with his exes. Demeter stayed silent as she maintained her cool and calm disposition, listening intently to what her daughter had to say.

“That’s how I ended up here…like this. Hades came by for a visit and I decided to do what was best, so…I broke up with him.” Persephone explained, her voice wobbly as she tried not to cry again. She then looked over at her mother who just looked back at her with sympathy. The spring goddess instantly broke down in tears as she hugged her.

“I’m so sorry, mother! You were right! I should’ve listened to you! I’m sorry I was so stupid to believe that he actually —“ she sobbed into her mother’s shoulder as Demeter held her close, gently patting her back to comfort her.

“Oh, sweet pea, no. You’re not stupid, don’t you ever say that about yourself.” Demeter said softly as she started to rub her back in little circles.

Persephone then pulled away from her mother to look at her, “But I was so foolish! I should’ve…I should’ve gone with you when you left the Underworld….and I should’ve told you all of this sooner. I’m so sorry. I just didn’t want to disappoint you even more than I already have...”

Demeter once again used the little handkerchief to wipe away Perspehone’s tears as she gently held her face, “Persephone, sweetheart, you’ve never disappointed me...and you don’t need to apologize for your feelings either.” she assured her before taking her hands to hold them in hers, looking her in the eyes.

“I know I’ve shown my distaste for Hades quite a bit in the past, and for good reason, but I can tell by the way you talk about him that you care about him very much. He obviously means a lot to you.”

Persephone nodded, “Yeah…he does.”

“And you still love him…don’t you?” Demeter asked.

Persephone’s lip quivered as she felt the hot tears return to her eyes, “Yes…and it hurts so much!” she wept as she embraced her mother once more.

Demeter felt just as heartbroken as her daughter was and she hated to see her so distraught. Her first instinct was to go straight to Hades and tear him apart both verbally and physically for hurting her Persephone like this, but she knew that wasn’t the wisest decision and that wasn’t going to fix anything at the moment. Right now, Persephone needed the love and comfort of her mother, so she just held her close as she consoled her and let her cry it out.

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

Persephone finally calmed down after a few moments and let go of her mother as she took a few deep breaths. Demeter handed her the little handkerchief so she could wipe her eyes and blow her nose. Then she spoke, her voice sounding a little bit hoarse from all the crying, “Do you…Do you think I made the right choice? Breaking up with him?“ 

Demeter gave her a warm and sympathetic smile as she brushed a strand of Persephone’s hair behind her ear, “I wish I had an answer for you, honeybee.” she replied.

The spring goddess sighed. That wasn’t exactly the response she was looking for.

“But, you know, I did a lot of thinking after I left the Underworld….and you made me realize that I’ve been coddling you and your sister for far too long. You were the one who was right all along. You’re a grown goddess who can make her own decisions…and that includes the tough ones like these.” Demeter said.

Persephone was glad to hear that she was able help to mother become a little less protective of her and her little sister, but she still wished she could get some confirmation that she was correct in her decision to end things with Hades.

“I just don’t know if I made the right decision. I feel like I should’ve just talked it out with him, but at the same time I….I just don’t know if he truly loves me like I love him.” she mused as she stared at the ground again.

Demeter gave her another sympathetic smile as she lifted her daughter’s head by her chin, “Well, you know I’m no goddess of love, but I think if Hades truly loves you…you’ll know. Besides, he’d be crazy not to love you. You’re so sweet, and beautiful, and talented. Any deity would be lucky to have you. I know I’m very lucky to have you as my daughter.”

Persephone smiled as Demeter leaned over to kiss her forehead, then hugged her mother tightly, “I love you, mom.”

Demeter smiled as she hugged her back, “And I love you too, blossom. Very much.”

After a very sweet and tender moment, the mother and daughter separated. Demeter looked over at the stone sundial that stood across from the garden bench. It was pretty late in the afternoon, and it wouldn’t be too long before sundown.

“Oh, sugar cane! I forgot, I’m supposed to be at a spring harvest festival in Troy this evening.” Demeter said before looking over at Persephone, “But, if you’re still upset…”

The spring goddess smiled again, appreciative that she was willing to stay with her longer, “No, it’s okay. I actually feel a lot better now. You go ahead. Besides, I gotta get back to Corinth. I still have a lot of work to do and Thallo is probably wondering where I am.”

Demeter returned her smile as she brushed Persephone’s bangs away from her eyes a bit, “Alright. Well, don’t push yourself out there, sweetheart. Remember, it won’t kill those mortals if spring comes a little late.” she reminded her.

“I know. I won’t.” Persephone replied as Demeter kissed the top of her head. The harvest goddess then stood up from the bench to manifest a giant tulip from the ground, the bright red petals opening up so she could step inside.

“Mother?” Persephone called out before she could step into the large flower. Demeter stopped and looked back at her curiously.

“Thank you.”

Demeter smiled fondly, “There’s no need to thank me, dearest. I’m your mother. That’s what I’m here for.” she replied before stepping into the flower. She blew a quick kiss to Persephone before the petals of the tulip closed around her, the giant flower then retreating back into the ground.

Persephone closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, smelling the sweet scent of the flowers that surrounded her and feeling more refreshed now that she was able to get that off her chest. She then stood from the ivory bench, stretched her arms, and looked out at the beautiful view of the horizon from her temple’s garden before manifesting herself back to Corinth.

~X~X~X~X~

Back in the Athenian forest, Minthe and Leuke sat by the shimmering grotto, relishing in the bounty they received from Hecate. Minthe was reclining on a low hanging branch of a tree, a small, but hefty leather sachet full of gold drachma coins in her hand as Leuke sat by the water with her own little sachet of wealth sitting in her lap.

”10,000 drachma, each! Can you believe it!?“ Minthe happily raved from the branch as she grabbed a handful of coins from the sachet, watching them fall out of her hand and back into the sachet.

“I know! We’re probably the richest nymphs in Greece! What are you gonna buy?!” Leuke bubbled with an excited smile as she examined one of her drachma coins.

“I can’t decide! I’m either gonna go on a complete shopping spree at the agora or I’m gonna buy a brand new chariot with gold trim. If I play my cards right, I could probably convince the salesman to throw in some free stallions.” Minthe answered as she continued to admire her money, “What about you?”

Leuke cocked her head to the side, “I dunno. I kinda wanted to buy a grand palace.”

Minthe frowned and raised her brow at the idea, looking down at Leuke from the tree branch, “Leuke…you can’t buy a grand palace with 10,000 drachma.” 

“Oh...what about a penthouse palace?” Leuke asked as she looked up at Minthe. The green nymph just looked back down at her with an annoyed expression, “No, Leuke.”

“Okay…then I guess I’ll just buy some souvlaki or something.” Leuke decided with a shrug.

Minthe glanced at her in confusion, “Souvlaki? Seriously? You have 10,000 drachma and you just wanna buy souvlaki?”

Leuke looked at Minthe like she was stupid before replying, “With extra tzatziki sauce! Jeez, I’m not a cheapskate.”

Minthe sighed and rolled her eyes at her friend’s stupidity, “Leuke, I swear there are harpies smarter than you.” she retorted.

Leuke smiled at the comment, “Aww, tha—“ she paused, finally catching on to the insult, “Wait, hey!”

The oceanid looked as if she were about to start an argument with the other nymph, but before she even could speak, she was interrupted by another voice.

“So…you’re still at it, eh, Minthe?”

The nymphs recognized the voice in an instant and turned their heads to find their ex boyfriend, Hades, leaning against another nearby tree, an unamused frown on his face. Minthe smirked as she slid off of the tree branch with ease while Leuke stood from the ground.

“Hey, Hades. Long time no see.” Minthe greeted him flirtatiously as she casually stuffed her sachet of money down the top of her dress. 

Hades scowled at her as he bitterly returned her greeting, “Minthe.”

Leuke simply smiled and happily waved to Hades, “Hi, Hades!” she chirped.

Hades looked over at Leuke with a neutral expression, clearly not having as much animosity with her as he does with Minthe, “Hey, Leuke.” he casually replied.

Minthe sauntered over to Hades, swaying her hips as she smiled at him with half lidded eyes, “So, you finally came crawling back to me, huh? I knew you couldn’t stay away from me.” she purred as she ran a finger down the front of his chiton.

“Yeah, you wish.” Hades responded with annoyance as he backed away from the nymph while wiping off his chiton as if she had gotten it all dirty, “Listen, I’m not here to catch up and shoot the breeze, alright? So, let’s get straight to the point: What did you say to Persephone?” 

Minthe’s smirk quickly turned to a frown at the mention of the goddess' name and rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Hades glared at her and clenched his fists, his hair turning red as his hands burst into flames, “Do not play dumb with me, Minthe. I’m not in the mood for games.”

“I’m serious, Hades. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never spoken to Persephone before in my life.“ she declared.

“Yeah, you have, silly! We talked to her just a few days ago, remember?” Leuke said as she approached Minthe and Hades, completely oblivious to the fact that her friend was trying to lie.

Minthe’s eyes widened as she whipped her head around to give Leuke an icy stare, “Shut up!” she hissed through her teeth.

“Great, so you dragged her into it too, huh?” Hades asked as he crossed his arms and nodded towards Leuke, “What did you two say to her?” he asked once again, shifting his glare between the pair of nymphs.

“We told her the truth.” Minthe answered with a shrug as she observed her nails nonchalantly, “We told her that she wasn’t good enough for you and you were way out of her league.”

“And that you smell!” Leuke added with an enthusiastic smile.

Minthe frowned as her brows furrowed, giving Leuke a look that screamed “just stop talking” while Hades just stared at her with confusion, his hair going back to its calm blue color as his hands stopped burning. Yes, he wanted details about the conversation they had with Persephone, but he wanted details that actually mattered. However, he knew Leuke wasn’t exactly the brightest star in the cosmos, so her pointless remark didn’t really surprise him.

Leuke believed that she had provided valuable information about their recent encounter with Persephone, but Minthe and Hades’ facial expressions said otherwise, “Well, we did. Oh yeah! We also told her to break up with you.” she admitted.

That was the kind of information Hades was looking for. However, this particular detail made him absolutely livid. He grimaced at the nymphs as his entire form shifted into his classic angry red color, his hair flaring wildly past his broad shoulders.

“So, let me get this straight. You two went out of your way to make Persephone feel like she didn’t deserve me, then you TELL HER TO BREAK UP WITH ME!?” the god yelled as his body burned fiercely.

Leuke hastily jumped behind Minthe to hide behind her, placing her hands on her shoulders as she peeked her head up a bit. Minthe was completely unphased by Hades' angry outburst and continued to check nails.

Hades took a deep breath to chill out, but his scorching crimson hair was a blatant indicator that he was still pretty upset, “Why?” he growled, trying to keep his temper so he could get more answers.

Leuke, not as frightened now that Hades was a little less fiery and irate, popped her head up from behind Minthe’s shoulders, “Because H–” she started to explain before Minthe threw her hand over her mouth to keep her from blabbing to Hades. 

Minthe gave Hades a smug and slightly mischievous smirk as she spoke, “Because she needed to face the facts. She’ll never be good enough for you. You deserve someone better. Someone like me.” she said as she tossed her long green hair back in an enticing manner, the lock of hair smacking Leuke in the face in the process.

Hades rolled his eyes at the suggestion as the green nymph continued, “I don’t know why you’re so worried about her, anyways. It’s not like you two were that serious. You never even told her you loved her.”

The god sneered at her accusation as he began to angrily flare up again, “Of course I –” he began to argue before he paused. His eyes widened and his shoulders slumped as he slowly cooled down completely, hair and all.

“Oh, gods…I never told her I loved her…” he said under his breath.

The god stared down at the ground. He couldn’t believe he never once told her that he loved her…not even after their first kiss. She’s told him countless times how much she loved him and how happy he made her, but he never returned the sentiment.

“No wonder she left…she thought I didn’t love her back. Gods, what’s wrong with me!? Why wouldn’t I tell her that!? Of course I love her! I’m crazy about her! Over the moon! I can’t get enough of her!” Hades thought.

“Why would you?” Minthe asked, “She’s not worthy of your love. Seriously, I don’t even know what you saw in that pink cow.” she scoffed.

The insult immediately broke Hades away from his thoughts. He sent a nasty look towards Minthe as she turned away from him to continue carelessly slandering the goddess.

“Really! I mean, she’s fat, she’s ugly, her fashion sense is just hideous, and she’s so gullible! I can’t believe she actually believed everything we told her! She’s so stupid!” the naiad laughed.

Hades was seething with anger as Minthe ranted. His whole body was burning hotter and brighter than the sun itself, but Minthe was completely unaware. However, Leuke was still facing Hades and could see that he was very agitated.

“M-M-Minthe…” Leuke stuttered as she trembled and slowly backed away from her friend and the furious god.

“I mean, gods, it’s no wonder she’s been single for like, a thousand years! She’s the most unattractive goddess on Olympus! Who would wanna date that big, pink –” Minthe jeered before she finally noticed the broiling heat hitting her back. She turned around to find Hades giving her the most intimidatingly venomous expression she’s ever seen. The nymph stood frozen in fear as Hades raised his inflamed arm.

“One more word…and I burn this place to the ground with you in it…capisce?” he threatened. 

Minthe silently nodded, looking at Hades like a frightened deer. Hades shook his arm to make his arms and the rest body stop burning, the hateful look still plastered on his face.

“Great. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go clean up the mess that you two helped create,” Hades said as he turned to walk away from his petrified exes, “and just a suggestion: if you don’t wanna become permanent residents down under, eternal punishment included…” he stopped walking for a short moment to look back at the pair of nymphs. 

“Don’t ever let me catch you talking to or about Persephone again.” the god warned before continuing his retreat.

The nymphs stayed silent as they watched Hades leave until he stopped one last time, fully turning around to face them, his expression now looking more smug and sarcastic than angry and disgusted, “Oh, and uh, Minthe? You and me? Never gonna happen, babe. Seriously, you have got to get over me…sheesh.” he said as he shook his head before finally exiting the forest in a large burst of blue fire.

Minthe’s expression promptly switched from intimidated to frustrated as she ground her teeth together, “I AM OVER YOU!” she shrieked.

The fuming naiad turned around in a huff as she stomped away, “Ugh…shut up, Leuke!” she snapped.

“I didn’t even say anything!” Leuke exclaimed in defense.

Minthe swiftly looked back and glowered at her, “I know, but you were gonna say something and it was gonna be stupid!”

Leuke pouted as she crossed her arms, “I was not!” she shouted as Minthe continued storming away from her. She then looked down with a slightly guilty expression, “Okay, maybe it was gonna be a little stupid.” she admitted quietly before following Minthe.

[louisisalarrie]

I’m a newer fan! Hi! Can you tell me the meaning of Saturdays? What’s the significance for fans? I’m seeing stuff on Twitter about him not singing it last night and people thinking he’s coming out??? What’s the link there??

Thank you!

Hi angel!! And welcome, lovely to have you here!!!

Look… there are many analysis posts and fheories about Saturdays. Everything ranging from coming out, being closeted, spending time with the one that you love and they’re your only love… and idk… I think it’s a tricky one because everyone will take their own meaning from it.

I haven’t analysed it on here, but it seems like a very special song to him and I can see how it can hit multiple marks in terms of sexuality and closeting.

If anyone has any good analysis/theories about Saturdays, please send through! I’d be keen to chat about it and obviously share more with this anon. I just don’t do song analysis stuff usually for a number of reasons, but would be keen to hear about it!

[sysig]

Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)

[lhrry]

x

[calamitys-child]

In terms of album orders designed specifically to hit the core of what the fuck is wrong with me it's gonna be hard to ever beat FTHC from Fatherless through Resurrectionists in that order but VERY close second place shoutout to Biffy Clyro Ellipsis going Animal Style // Re-Arrange . Fundamentally that is. That is exactly what the fuck is wrong with me tbh

[2024skin]

I'm such a little freak when I start pacing

[hyunebunx]

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ⏖ ’ show don’t tell with skz !

⁺ 𖹭 . genre: fluff

⁺ 𖹭 . a/n: how the boys say i love you without saying i love you. hope you like it <3

𝜗୧ chan 𝜗୧ - “I’m here for you.”

And he always means it. No matter how busy or stressed he is, if you call Chan comes running. Being your shoulder to cry on is his full-time job, to be honest.

This doesn’t only apply to when you’re going through something though. Chan is there for you when things are hard, of course, but he’s also always present when you accomplish something, doesn’t matter how small it is.

The most supportive boyfriend who never forgets to celebrate you. It’s such a normality in your relationship that you only realize how thoughtful and amazing he is when you look back, and his face comes to mind for every major event that took place in your life in the past year.

Is the epitome of ‘ride or die’ and you can’t change my mind.

𝜗୧ minho 𝜗୧ - by always looking out for you.

No matter what you are doing, Minho’s eyes will always gravitate towards you. To ensure you are safe, that you aren’t struggling with anything or feeling uncomfortable. Or so, he says, but in reality, he really enjoys just observing you in your everyday life, every action of yours adorable in his eyes.

If you are struggling, he’s by your side in a heartbeat. Most of the time, you won’t even realize he’s there until whatever was giving you problems is taken care of.

You can’t open something? Minho’s got it. You’re struggling with work? He’s quietly thinking of a solution and writing it down. You’re stressed? He’s already prepared your favorite snack and is on his way over.

Minho loves quietly yet his actions don’t let you forget about that love even for a second.

𝜗୧ changbin 𝜗୧ - by peppering kisses all over your face every opportunity he gets.

To him, you are absolutely adorable and sometimes, he gets this urge to just smother you with all of his love all at once. What’s ‘playing it coy’? Changbin’s never heard of her.

He’s usually one who doesn't shy away from expressing his love verbally, however, there are times when words just aren’t enough.

So, he’ll randomly lean towards you and start small, with a kiss or two on your cheeks before giving in and not stopping until he’s kissed every inch of your face.

He doesn’t play when it comes to you so, he’ll only stop when he shows you exactly how strong the feelings he carries in his heart are.

𝜗୧ hyunjin 𝜗୧ - by keeping a picture of you in his wallet.

I mean, of course, this is Hyunjin we are talking about. And the picture in question is one he took himself on one of your many dates.

Switches it out once every couple of months and sometimes, even keeps two at a time. He can’t help it – you look so beautiful and radiant, that being greeted by your smiling face every time he opens his wallet lifts his spirits instantly.

When he misses you, he’ll absentmindedly open his wallet for no reason just to see your face, even though he’s aware he can call and see your beaming smile whenever he pleases.

Swiftly sneaks a picture of himself in your own wallet so you can match.

𝜗୧ jisung 𝜗୧ - by dedicating every song he writes to you.

Being loved by you is the best thing that’s ever happened to him and nobody can convince Jisung otherwise.

That’s why, every time he sits down to work, his head is full of thoughts of you that just never go away. His heart is so full of love, he can’t help but at least attempt to put all of that into words.

Has written dozens of songs about you and the magical way you make him feel and they all sound like something that would play at the gates of heaven, just dreamy. The purest form of love.

Grabs his guitar and serenades you only with the songs he deems worthy of your attention.

𝜗୧ felix 𝜗୧ -  “you look tense, let me give you a massage.”

That’s what he says but, in the end, he pampers you until you have to physically stop him. A hand massage, a face one, Felix becomes your personal masseur.

When you do stop him, he just moves on to hugging and cuddling you, leaving the occasional kiss here and there.

He can’t be too far apart from you, it physically hurts him. Has to touch and feel you near at all times, no matter what you’re doing. Links your pinkies together and just follows you around like a puppy.

Will do your skincare and even wash your hair for you, anything. Just ask.

𝜗୧ seungmin 𝜗୧ - “this reminded me of you.”

No matter what he’s doing, if he spots something in a store that makes his thoughts rush to you, he’s stopping that activity and going in immediately.

Doesn’t care about the money – the gifts can range from jewellery to random, sometimes ugly souvenirs he finds abroad at a gift shop. His mind works in mysterious ways, you can never know what silly thing would suddenly remind Seungmin of you next.

“You.” And it’s either the ugliest keychain you’ve ever seen or the most beautiful flowers, there’s no in-between.

Gets you a stuffed puppy so you can also be reminded of him at all times, just like he’s constantly thinking of you.

𝜗୧ jeongin 𝜗୧ - by quietly wiping your tears and holding you when upset.

He’s the type that won’t say anything and just bring you into the warmest, most comforting hug ever. His bear hugs will have you melting in his arms, making you feel super safe.

So gentle and soft-spoken, literally handles you like you’re made of glass when he sees something has truly upset you.

Will wipe your tears and listen to whatever you have to say, giving you his full attention. Also gets you water and helps you remove your makeup, or fix your hair when you feel better.

Won’t let go until he’s convinced you actually feel better and even then, an eye is still on you while he intertwines your fingers and goes on about his business.

[raekensluver]

hearts aligned

description: you and your roommate spencer reid have always been there for each other. one night he comes back from work and you two discover a different side to your dynamic.

pairing: roomate!spencer reid x fem!reader

contains: fluff!! mutual pining, typical criminal minds violence, reader is described as having shoulder length hair

song rec: fallen star by the nbhd- "you're in my dna, i can't keep away no matter how hard i try"

w.c: 2.7k

an: *sob* i love him.

it was a mundane tuesday evening, the kind that bled into the fabric of the week seamlessly. the apartment was quiet, the only sound the hum of the refrigerator echoing through the hallway. the soft glow of the living room lamp cast a warm, buttery light, a stark contrast to the deepening shadows outside the window. you sat cross-legged on the couch, your nose buried in a well-worn paperback, the plot weaving in and out of your consciousness like a gentle stream.

the sound of the lock turning brought your head up with a jolt, the bookmark slipping from your fingers to land silently on the carpet. spencer reid, your roommate, stepped inside, his eyes weary but a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. his gaze swept the room before settling on you, the surprise in his eyes unmistakable. "you're still up," he murmured, his voice a gentle rumble that seemed to shake the very air.

you closed the book with a soft thud and gave him a warm smile. "yeah, i had some trouble sleeping," you admitted, your voice a little hoarse from the quiet of the night. "do you want some tea?" you offered, already pushing to your feet. his nod was all the encouragement you needed as you padded into the kitchen, the cold tiles a stark contrast to the warmth of the living room. while the water heated, you listened to the soft thud of his shoes against the floor as he moved towards his room, the jingle of his keys a familiar lullaby.

but when you turned with the steaming mug in hand, you found him hovering in the doorway, watching you. "you know, i can do that," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. "i don't mind, really." his voice was gentle, a hint of concern lacing his words.

you paused, the ceramic warm against your palms, and studied him for a moment. his tie was askew, his shirt wrinkled from a long day's work, and his hair, normally a neat cap of chocolate waves, was disheveled. "you've had a long day," you said, your voice firm but kind. "just sit." you gestured to the stool at the kitchen island, the one that faced the stove where you were already setting out ingredients for a simple meal. "i'll make us something light."

he hesitated, his eyes searching yours for a moment before he nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "alright," he conceded, his shoulders slumping slightly as he took a seat. the fabric of his pants whispered against the leather of the stool as he settled in, his eyes never leaving you as you moved with an easy grace around the kitchen. you could feel the weight of his gaze, a warm presence that made your cheeks flush, and your heart stutter in your chest.

you filled a pan with oil, the faint sizzle as it heated up a comforting sound. "so, how was work today?" you asked, trying to keep your voice casual despite the sudden thrum of anticipation that had taken root in your veins.

spencer took a sip of his tea, his eyes thoughtful. "it was… interesting," he said, his gaze drifting over the steaming liquid. "but i'd rather not talk about that right now," he added, his voice a low murmur. "do you mind if we talk about something else?"

you nodded, setting aside the knife you were using to chop vegetables. "of course," you said, wiping your hands on a dishtowel. "what do you want to talk about?"

spencer leaned against the counter, his expression pensive. "tell me about your day," he said, his eyes searching yours. "i feel like i never get to hear about it."

you felt a flutter in your stomach. "it was…normal," you said, the words feeling almost rehearsed. "work, errands, the usual."

spencer's gaze remained steady, a hint of curiosity lighting his eyes. "anything exciting happen?"

you couldn't help but chuckle at his persistence. "well, if you consider accidentally matching my socks with my shirt 'exciting,' then yes, it was quite the thriller," you said with a wry smile.

his eyes lit up with amusement, the corners of his mouth twitching. "i see," he said, his voice teasing. "that does sound like a tale for the ages."

you rolled your eyes playfully, the tension in the room easing a notch. "it was definitely a fashion statement," you quipped, tossing a chopped carrot into the pan. the sizzle filled the air, the scent of garlic and onions mingling with the warmth of the kitchen.

spencer set his tea aside, leaning closer. "i'm sure it was," he said, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. "but really, anything interesting happen?"

you met his gaze, a sudden realization dawning. "you know what, spencer?" you said, your voice earnest. "right now, this moment, is the most interesting thing that's happened to me all day." his eyes widened slightly, and you could see the wheels turning in his head. "just being here, with you, talking about nothing in particular… it's nice."

his cheeks colored slightly, and he ducked his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "it is," he agreed, his voice barely above a whisper. "i don't get to do this very often."

you cocked your head to the side, studying him. "what do you mean?"

he shrugged, his eyes darting to the floor. "i spend so much time working, or reading, or… just in my own head," he admitted. "i don't get to just sit and talk with people. not like this."

you felt a warmth spread through you, a sense of connection that was more profound than any conversation you'd had with him before. "i'm always here, you know," you said softly, the words slipping out before you could second guess them. "if you ever need someone to talk to, or just to sit with."

his eyes snapped back up to yours, the surprise in them clear. "i know," he said, his voice a little gruff. "i just… i don't want to burden you."

you set the spatula down, moving closer to him. "you're not a burden, spencer," you said, your voice firm. "you're my roommate. and if you ever need anything, i'm here."

his eyes searched yours, the depth of his gaze sending a shiver down your spine. "i know," he repeated, his voice softer this time. "it's just… i don't want to take advantage."

you reached out, placing a hand on his forearm. "you could never take advantage," you assured him, your thumb stroking a gentle circle against his skin. "we're friends, we're supposed to be here for each other."

spencer's eyes dropped to where your hand rested, the warmth of your touch seeping into his bones. "i know that," he murmured. "but i also know that you have your own life, your own things to deal with."

you gave his arm a gentle squeeze before retreating to the stove, the comforting dance of cooking resuming as if the moment had never happened. "and you're part of my life," you said, your back to him. "so, what's one more thing?"

spencer watched you for a moment, his eyes tracing the curve of your back, the way your hair fell in soft waves down to your shoulders. he took a deep breath, the scent of the simmering food filling his nostrils. "what's your favorite memory?" he asked, his voice a little rough.

you glanced over your shoulder, a smile playing on your lips. "just one?" you teased, turning back to the stove. "that's a tough one." you stirred the contents of the pan, the spices releasing a symphony of aromas into the air. "but if i had to pick, it would be the first time we moved in together."

spencer's eyes lit up, the memory obviously a good one. "that was… chaotic," he said with a laugh, his eyes crinkling at the edges. "but also… nice."

you nodded, your smile growing. "i remember being so nervous," you said, the words bringing a warm rush of nostalgia. "i didn't know what to expect, moving in with someone i'd only met only once before."

spencer's gaze grew distant, his mind traveling back to that fateful day. "i was the same," he admitted. "i had this whole speech prepared about how we should respect each other's space and keep things clean, but when i saw you, it all just… disappeared."

you turned to face him, your eyes wide with surprise. "really?"

he nodded, a sheepish smile playing on his lips. "i know it sounds ridiculous, but you just… you made me feel comfortable. like i could be myself around you."

you felt your heart swell at his words, a warmth spreading through your chest. "i felt the same way," you admitted, your voice a little shaky. "i remember walking in and seeing all these boxes, and thinking 'what have i gotten myself into?'" you laughed, the sound a little too loud in the quiet kitchen. "but then you looked up from your book, and you just… you were so genuine, so welcoming."

spencer's smile grew, his eyes a soft brown in the muted light. "i've never regretted that decision," he said, his voice earnest. "you make this place feel like home."

you blinked, the sudden weight of his words settling in your stomach. "i'm… i'm happy to hear that," you said, your voice a little breathless.

spencer pushed himself off the stool, the sound of it scraping against the tile floor breaking the silence. he took a step closer to you, the warmth of his body radiating like a small sun. "i mean it," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. "you're the best roommate i could ever ask for."

you swallowed hard, the heat of the stove behind you seemingly nothing compared to the warmth in front of you. "thank you," you whispered, your hand still clutching the spatula. "you're pretty great too."

his smile grew, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "yeah?" he asked, his voice hopeful.

you nodded, feeling your heart race. "yes," you said, turning back to the stove to give yourself a moment to compose. "you're always there when i need you, and you put up with my terrible cooking."

spencer chuckled, moving closer to peer into the pan. "i wouldn't say it's terrible," he said, his eyes twinkling. "just… adventurous."

you shot him a playful glare, but couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up. "adventurous, huh?" you said, shaking your head. "i'll take that as a compliment."

spencer stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently take the spatula from your grip. "i'll help," he said, his eyes never leaving yours. the air between you felt charged, the tension thick and palpable. your heart was racing, each beat echoing in your ears like the tick of a clock counting down to something you hadn't quite anticipated.

you let him take over, watching as his long, slender fingers deftly stirred the sizzling mixture. "i've been meaning to tell you something," he said, his voice a little hoarse. "i know we've been roommates for a while now, but… i've started to realize that i might like you a little more than just a friend."

you froze, the heat from the stove forgotten. your eyes searched his, looking for any sign of uncertainty or jest, but all you found was sincerity. "spencer," you began, but he held up a hand to stop you.

"i know it's weird," he said, his voice rushing out like a river that had been dammed for too long. "and i know we're friends, and roommates, but… i can't ignore it anymore."

you stared at him, your thoughts racing faster than the cars on the street outside. "spencer," you breathed, his name a question, a declaration, a plea all rolled into one. your hand hovered in the space between you, unsure of where to land.

his eyes searched yours, the warmth of his hand as he took the spatula a silent promise. "i know," he continued, his voice a little shaky. "but i can't help it. every time i come home and you're here, waiting for me, it's like… it's like coming home to a piece of sunshine."

you felt your heart stutter in your chest, the words resonating deep within you. "spencer," you whispered, the name a prayer on your lips. "i… i feel the same way." the words hung in the air, a soft confession that seemed to illuminate the kitchen with a gentle glow.

his eyes searched yours, a hopeful spark lighting them up. "you do?" he asked, his voice tentative, as if he was afraid to believe.

you nodded, your own heart racing. "yes," you said, your voice clear and firm. "i've liked you for a while now. i just didn't know how to tell you." the admission felt like a weight lifting off your chest, leaving you feeling lighter than air.

spencer's smile grew, a genuine, boyish grin that made your heart flutter. "really?" he asked, his voice filled with wonder.

you nodded, your cheeks flushing a soft pink. "yes," you whispered, your eyes never leaving his. "i just didn't want to mess things up."

spencer set the spatula down, the clatter against the pan a jolting sound in the quiet kitchen. "you could never mess things up," he said, his voice a soft promise. "not with me."

you took a step closer, the warmth of his body drawing you in like a magnet. "are you sure?" you asked, your voice a little shaky.

he nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "i've never been more sure of anything in my life," he said, his voice a low murmur. "you make me feel… alive, in a way i haven't felt in a long time."

you felt your breath catch in your throat, the confession so raw and honest that it was like a punch to the gut. "spencer," you whispered, reaching out to touch his cheek. your fingertips traced the line of his jaw, feeling the rough stubble beneath your fingertips.

his eyes searched yours, the question in them unspoken but clear. "what are we going to do?" he asked, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine.

you took a deep breath, the scent of the food on the stove forgotten. "i don't know," you admitted, your voice a little shaky. "i just know that i don't want to ignore this anymore."

spencer reached up, his hand covering yours on his cheek. "neither do i," he murmured, his thumb brushing against your knuckles. "i don't want to pretend it's not there."

you stepped closer, your hand sliding down to cup his face fully. "then let's not," you said, your voice a little tremulous. "let's see where this goes."

his eyes searched yours for a moment before he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours tentatively. it was a gentle touch, a question that hung in the air between you, waiting for an answer. you responded with a sigh, your arms wrapping around his neck as you deepened the kiss. his hands found your waist, pulling you closer, the warmth of his body a comforting embrace that seemed to fit you perfectly.

the world outside the kitchen faded away, the only sounds the faint crackle of the stove and the thud of your hearts beating in sync. the kiss grew more urgent, more passionate, as if you were both trying to make up for lost time. your hands tangled in his hair, the soft strands slipping through your fingers like silk.

you two broke apart, breathless, your eyes searching each other's for any sign of doubt or regret. but all you saw was a reflection of your own feelings - a wild, unbridled hope that seemed to set the room alight. spencer's chest rose and fell in time with yours, his eyes dark with want.

"i've wanted to do that for so long," he murmured, his voice a hoarse whisper that sent shivers down your spine.

you nodded, your eyes searching his. "i know," you said, your voice just as soft. "me too."

his thumb traced the curve of your lower lip, his gaze never leaving yours. "are we… are we okay?" he asked, his voice a little unsteady.

you nodded, your heart racing. "yes," you breathed, the word a soft promise. "we're more than okay."