#and it would immediately start him on an episode that would take several days to calm his stomach down

[greyias]

🙃

Purina apparently discontinued and then reformulated the only canned food I've found so far that Griffin's extraordinarily sensitive tummy can tolerate, adding one of his potential worst allergens to nearly the top of the formulation list. I have sent a Karen-like e-mail to Purina, and am now having to have five million tabs open on different pet food websites to put the ingredient lists of everything under a microscope to try and find something remotely close.

[manszen]

valentine’s day

pairing. fem!reader x trafalgar law.

summary. law wonders how he can make it up to you.

contains. fluff, established relationship.

word count. 1.2k.

note. i may or may not have word vomited with this one.

anyone could tell from the first impression that law isn’t someone you would consider a romantic.

his usually tight expression says so. he’s dry and blunt, gets easily irritated when something is out of his control — well, that’s just the way he is. but for whatever reason, you admire him for it.

he’s aware of where your relationship with him stands. it’s right there on the edge of a precipice, bound to tip over to the side that burdens the other. a beautiful disaster awaiting, so to speak.

his reason? you’re kind and he’s not. you’re gentle. he’s ruthless. you’re radiant. he’s gloomy.

polar opposites in every aspect. yet somehow, it works.

the two of you work.

it’s a bit unusual for him to be immersed in the thoughts of you. not that he doesn’t think of you — he does. but most of the time his mind is already preoccupied with his responsibilities as a captain, and as a doctor next.

he’s carrying multiple lives in his hands, after all.

but once he realizes there’s no one else in the rented inn that he shares with the rest of the crew, he allows himself to wonder about you just a little bit more.

you care for him, that much is obvious. when he forgets to do it for himself, you’re already there. gingerly reminding him that he’s the expert and he should know better. that even doctors need their rest and help from other people. all the while donning a cheeky smile on your face.

you take care of him all the more when no one else can reach him. sometimes at night, when the memories of his tormenting childhood come back to haunt him, you’re there — stroking the anxious creases between his brows, the frown curling on his lips; and the only thing helping him to calm down is your hushed whispers of ‘i’m here, you’re safe’, your tender embrace that soothes his inner child.

you’re that loving. and you never once complained at his own lack of sympathy, or at least, the little amount thereof.

the fact that you’re even used to his little episodes of isolation, his sudden avoidance from people that have nothing to do with you, you never kicked up a fuss.

it’s why he finds you disarming and beguiling at the same time.

and it makes him mad — so, so mad — that he’s difficult the way he is.

you don’t complain nor demand anything from him. as far as he can recall, it’s always you that gives, never takes anything for yourself.

it’s as if you already know he cares for you in a strange but honest way, and that is enough on its own.

law distractedly closes the medical book in his hand that’s long forgotten since he started thinking of you. suddenly, he feels worthless, trapped in his own body.

there���s a high chance you would feel unappreciated if this slack behavior of his goes on. he’s aware that most couples often express their affection — either by corny declarations or expensive gifts, whichever works — and that exactly where his dilemma lies.

he doesn’t do any of those.

he doesn’t feel the need to do any of those.

but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t do any of those.

he groans. he can feel a headache coming from miles away. when he closes his eyes for a quick rest, he imagines you playfully scowling and ready to berate him for overworking his brain yet again.

“damn it,” he shakes his head. this is why he tries not to delve into his feelings. you make him feel warm all over and giddy.

he glances at the scenery past the open windows, watching the gentle wind breeze through the row of bushes outside. he sees something that piques his interest, and upon confirmation, unintentionally uses his powers to check it a tiny bit closer.

“room,” he commands, and the pale blue sphere immediately covers the area with him at its center. he unsheathes kikoku from her scabbard, and expertly severs the object he has his eyes on.

once he thinks he got it, he snatches a random napkin on the table and directs again, “shambles.”

whatever is exchanged in the center of his palm brings out a soft smile to his lips.

“hey, captain.”

in his haste, law hides his flustered hands beneath the table. “hey, you’re back early,” he coughs, seeing you so picturesque at the inn’s entry way.

“my feet are tired.” yawning, you saunter over to him. “did you have fun?”

“more or less. want to retire for the night?”

you nod.

he collects his things before leading you back to his room. he makes sure to not show his hands to you, but even if he does, you’re more fixated on the trinkets that are scattered around in the hallway.

“i think i like this inn better than the last one,” you muse.

he grunts as a reply, but then remembers about his earlier agenda — his newfound agenda of becoming a better boyfriend. “same here,” he says in between his teeth, earning him a puzzled look and an even more amused smile from you.

you don’t comment on his behavior. it’s silent for a while, only the sounds of your footsteps could be heard across the floor. he opens the door to his room, side-stepping to let you in first, which again, earned him a skeptical glance.

“ladies first,” he tries to be smooth, but heaven knows it sounds incredibly hoarse.

still, he’s grateful you don’t make a jab at him. you obediently enter his room and he follows after you. he watches your expression change from being wide-eyed to droopy, and there’s a silly little smile on your face as you sigh, “alone finally.”

you’re not alone, technically speaking. he’s with you inside the room. but law bites his tongue, refraining from letting his crude mouth run loose. instead, he observes you like a hawk as you stretch your arms above your head, yawning ungracefully as you do.

you’re saying something unintelligible. maybe asking what his plans are after dinner, or maybe when is the right time to go back sailing the seas. but he couldn’t care less about any of that.

right now, he’s deeply and immensely attracted, and he finds himself walking closer to you.

god damn it. how could someone look so beautiful and unguarded at the same time?

“law?”

“hmm?”

“are you alright?”

he’s now a few inches away from you, and with the height difference, you have nothing else to do but to look up at him. it makes him smirk, “never been better.”

you bite your lip.

“i missed you,” law admits after a moment, becoming serious all of a sudden.

he watches your eyes go wide, before lifting up one tattooed hand to brush your hair behind your ear, sneaking something through the strands of your hair.

a subtle fragrance drifts in the space between, and you reach out to touch where his hand has just been, “what’s this?”

“it’s hydrangea,” he mumbles, taking a long look at you then deciding that it suits you. it suits you very well, much to his relief. “it means gratitude and apology.”

you giggle. although, bewilderment is still apparent in your eyes, “what did you do this time, law?”

he shrugs. he’s not particularly asking for forgiveness, simply that he feels the need to do something — to give you something since he’s usually the one on the receiving end.

“already forgiven.”

law rolls his eyes, the grin you're wearing is too infectious. “you’re so easy to please.”

you chuckle, appreciating the flower — his flower — that he sneakily placed by your ear.

“and you’re a bit of a romantic when you want to be.”

stealing, modifying, translating, or reposting this work on other platforms is strictly discouraged.

[chicago-pd-is-weird]

Jay Halstead x Reader Oneshot

Synopsis: Jay and reader are together, and reader works at Med in ED with Will. Reader has a lot of anxiety because Jay is a cop, thinking every cop that is brought in may be Jay.

TW: anxiety/panic attacks is a main theme in this, also some mention of blood and doctor-y stuff because reader works at Med in ED

Requested by: @sorry-i-spaced

Thank you so much! This was fun to write!

Any other oneshot requests, please DM me! :)

“We got a Stevenson!” A paramedic called out as they rolled into the ED. You and several other doctors sprung into action, running toward where the paramedics were coming in. ‘Stevenson’ was the code name for a cop, to let Med know who it was, no matter if they were in uniform, plainclothes, or undercover.

“(Y/N)! Rhodes! Trauma three!” Maggie’s voice called from the desk. Working in the ED was no walk in the park, especially in the middle of Chicago. You made your way quickly to where Maggie pointed you, picking up the pace as they wheeled in a man who was surrounded by cops. You pushed through the crowd and into the room, seeing the man on the gurney with three bullet holes in him. You helped get him moved over, then assessed the damage, Dr. Rhodes right behind you to help.

“Three bullet wounds, center mass. I’m assuming this is the perpetrator, not our Stevenson?” You spoke out loud. Some of the officers outside the room confirmed your thoughts.

Your heart was already pumping from the adrenaline as you worked on the man, but you couldn’t help it as it beat faster, hoping the officer shot wasn’t Jay Halstead. It made you especially nervous when the officers outside the room talked amongst one another, saying the man shot was a detective. Bile started to rise in your throat, but you were pulled back by the monitors beeping rapidly. You took immediate action as you snapped out of your anxiety for just a few moments.

You finally stabilized the man enough to take him to surgery, letting the nurses and techs take him with Dr. Rhodes. You backed away, looking around the room at the mess that had been made. For a moment, you stood in silence, looking around at the blood and various instruments that were around the room, as well as the blood on your gloves and scrubs.

Blood. You saw it every day, and yet, you couldn’t help but get a nauseous at the sight. You thought maybe that detective, who was fighting for his life, was bleeding out. That maybe it was the man you loved. Maybe he was in the other room, clinging to life, and here you were, trying to save the man who shot him. The notion made you sick to your stomach. You ripped off your bloody gloves and left them in the room, quickly moving to the nearest bathroom to empty your stomach of your breakfast. You panted in between heaves, gripping the toilet for dear life as you trembled at the thought of Jay dying and you saving the man who killed him.

You and Jay had met through Will, one of your coworkers and closest friends at Chicago Med. Will and Jay were brothers, and both had taken a liking to you at first, but you ultimately decided that romance with a doctor at the same hospital as you would be too complicated. You never expected the anxiety that came with beings cop’s girlfriend, though. You’d been prone to anxiety in the past, but it ramped up when you started getting serious with Jay. You had episodes like this a lot, no matter what cop came in. It had never been Jay in the past, but it only took one bullet in the wrong spot for him to die.

When the nausea passed, you slowly pushed yourself to your feet, though still unsteady as your head spin. You flushed, washed your hands and face, then made your way to the locker rooms to change out of your scrubs and into a fresh pair. When you re-emerged, you were met with Will, who gently pulled you aside before anyone else could see you. “Hey, (Y/N), you okay?” Will already knew the answer to that. He was the only one who knew the full story about these episodes you had at work. Although Jay knew some of it, especially about your anxiety, he didn’t know the full picture, and you’d sworn Will into secrecy over it.

“Will, it wasn’t him, was it?”

“No, (Y/N), Jay is fine. I talked to him just a little bit ago. He is investigating this with Intelligence. He might still be here. He was looking for you.”

You let out a shaky breath, but nodded. You were relieved, but needed to see for yourself. You walked with Will back to where he’d last seen Jay, your stomach settling down as you saw him standing with Detective Lindsay, talking to Maggie. You walked over, leaning on the counter with a hum beside him, hand reaching out to rest atop his on the counter.

Jay smiled when he saw you, leaning over and kissing your cheek. “Hey, was looking for you earlier. That perp going to make it?”

Instantly, your anxiety faded away, as if it was never there in the first place. Jay had that effect on you, especially when he was upright and acting like himself. “It’s touch and go, I think,” you said with a soft sigh. “We did what we could. Rhodes took him to surgery prolly about a half hour ago. If he does make it, it’ll be a hard and long road.”

Jay hummed and looked up at Will, who had taken a place behind the counter with Maggie. “And what about the detective?”

“He’ll make it,” Will replied. “Barring complications, he should be back on the job within a few weeks.”

“That’s good,” Jay replied, shifting his gaze back to you, unable to help the smile that pulled on his lips. “Hey, don’t look so down. We’ve got this.”

Your eyes met his, not realizing you’d looked upset. You smiled at him, nodding. “I know,” you replied. “It just must be hard that it’s one of your own, yaknow?”

“The risks we take,” he said with a small shrug. His statement was so nonchalant, which you didn’t like. You had to force yourself to focus on anything else to keep your rising anxiety at bay. Jay and Erin left soon after, and you shuddered, but moved back to work, checking on some other patients.

— —

“Stevenson incoming!” Maggie’s voice called out. You froze, looking up from the computer you had been typing at, swallowing hard. Your mouth ran dry, as stats were called by the paramedics. “Male, mid-thirties, stabbed multiple times.” You stood quickly, but Maggie didn’t assign you to it. You probably wouldn’t have been much help anyways, seeing as you were on the verge of an attack.

A firm hand was placed on your shoulder, pulling you back to reality as you gasped, looking behind you to see Will. “Come on,” he said softly, nodding to you. “It’s okay, come on.”

You let out a shaky breath, walking with Will out to the small break room. He got you coffee, which you took whether you liked it or not. It was something to pull you back into reality. “I-I’m sorry, I just…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Will said, shaking his head. “I get the same feeling every time, but Jay just texted me that we are meeting for lunch, so it can’t be him.”

“I shouldn’t feel so much relief from this,” you said, putting your hands to your face, wiping away some tears that had started to escape. “Someone is hurt, yaknow? But I… I’m so terrified of something happening.”

“Have you talked to anyone about this? Maybe Dr. Charles can help.”

“No, no,” you said, sighing heavily, sniffling and wiping your face. “I talked to therapists all throughout middle and high school. None of them even understood me. As far as I know, I’m just messed up mentally.”

“(Y/N),” Will sighed. “We’re all messed up mentally. We’re doctors.” He shook his head again, reaching over to put a hand on your arm. “Look, maybe you just need to find the right person. Besides, we know more about mental health and the brain now than we did then. There may be new tactics to help you cope, even if we can’t cure it.”

You were thankful for Will, nodding at his suggestions. “Maybe,” you muttered, leaning back in your chair and rubbing your face with your hands again, then coming back to down the coffee. “Thanks.”

“Any time,” he replied, nodding. “You’re not alone, alright?”

“Thanks,” you repeated. Just then, Will’s pager rang and he had to go, but he planted a soft kiss on the top of your head as he pulled you into a gentle embrace. As quick as he was beside you, he was gone, and you sank back down to the chair, looking at your empty coffee mug with despair. Maybe you’d never get better.

— —

The past few weeks had been filled with more and more scares. There was a serial killer on the loose who was targeting cops. Your body was racked with constant anxiety every time a Stevenson was brought into the ED. The only time you weren’t was when you were assisting with a surgery, so you stayed with Dr. Rhodes most of the time to ensure you were in surgery. It was better that way for the patients and for you.

The surgery you’d just assisted in finishing was a tough one. It was a kid who had fallen on a pair of scissors the wrong way. However, Dr. Rhodes was like magic, and your own hands remained calm and steady as you fell into a zen-like trance. You weren’t thinking of anything else but the surgery at hand. The anatomy and biology of the body lying below you. It was the only time and place you’d felt at peace, despite the circumstances surrounding the incident.

As you scrubbed out, washing your hands and arms, someone came into the room. “(Y/N)…” Will’s voice rang, a hand coming to your shoulder.

“Hey,” you said softly as you turned off the water and dried your hands. “What’s up?” Your mind was still calm, but when you looked up to Will, you could tell something was off.

“Don’t freak out on me, alright?”

“Will…?” You searched his face for the answer as he squeezed your shoulders with his hands.

“Just, promise.”

“Uh… I… okay…?”

“Okay,” he said with a sigh, knowing that was good enough. “Look, Jay was brought in, but-“

“What?!” You didn’t let him finish before trying to push past him to find Jay.

Will kept you in place. “No, no, (Y/N), stop, it’s okay.”

“This is NOT okay, Will! How are you so calm?!” The bile had begun to rise in your throat as you feared the worst. Tears jumped to your eyes and you had to see him. You had to know Jay was alright, even if he wasn’t.

“Hey, hey, look at me. It’s Will. Look at me!” You looked back up to Will, his hands squeezing your shoulders again to pull you back, shaking you a little. “Look, see, I’m right here. Let me finish before you break down, at least.”

You scoffed, a small scoff to hide the soft laugh of that last remark. Although you were on the verge of an attack, that pulled you back from the edge a bit, making you shake your head. “Just tell me then!”

“Jay just had a gash on his arm from a piece of metal he ran across. He just ran into a piece of metal. His sergeant sent him, just to make sure it was good. He is not shot. He is not hurt badly. He is coherent and walking around. He needed a few stitches, but that’s all.”

You searched Will’s face for any sign of him playing down the injury, but you knew Will wouldn’t lie to you. You let out a breath, wiping your face. “No, I still have to see him though because… if I don’t, I’ll never recover from this feeling.”

“I know,” Will replied. “Come on, he’s in five. But you know if you go in there like this, you’re going to have to come clean?”

“I need to see him,” you affirmed as Will walked you downstairs to where Jay was.

When you got there, you walked in and pushed the curtain back over the door to ensure you had privacy. You nearly broke down as you saw Jay, his shirt off, a bandage on his upper arm. Whether from anxiety or relief, you had no idea. The emotions pulling you in different directions was crippling, and you just stood there, trembling as tears streaked down your cheeks.

Jay looked over you as you stood, frozen in time, hot tears racing down and dripping off your chin. He got up quickly, his soft voice finally hitting your ears. “Hey, hey, (Y/N), what’s the matter?”

As he caught you between his arms, you started to sob, nearly collapsing into his chest. “Fuck, Jay!”

Jay was surprised, but caught you with ease, holding you close to his bare chest. “What did I do this time?” He teased, trying to make you feel better.

You were barely in the mood as you took a fist to his chest, hitting him softly. “Don’t even joke, it’s not fair!”

Jay turned more serious, pulling back to look at you as you sobbed. “Hey… hey, just tell me what’s going on.” You couldn’t muster any more words, wiping your face with your hands. Jay pulled you over, sitting on the bed and pulling you to sit beside him. “(Y/N)?”

“I have… I have this… this intense fear,” you finally spoke, soft words only coming out with your breaths. “This intense… burning fear… all the time… that…” You swallowed hard, leaning into his shoulder on his uninjured arm.

“That what?” Jay prompted after a moment of silence.

“That you’re going to come in here and die!” You sobbed out, moving to cling to him again, arms around his torso. “Jay, every time a cop comes in here, I can’t take it! Anxiety and panic takes me over! I-I can’t! I love you so much, and I can’t lose you!”

“Hey, hey baby, you won’t lose me. You won’t.” Jay held you tightly against his chest once again, kissing your head. “Hey, come here, look at me.” He pulled back, letting you sit up and then gently taking your chin in his fingers. He tenderly pulled your chin up, then leaned down to meet you, planting a soft kiss to your lips. When he pulled back, he let out a breath. “Nothing will ever take me away from you… Nothing. Ever.”

With that, your emotions finally leveled out. You swallowed hard and reached up to cup his face, looking over his freckles. You smiled a little as your eyes met his. “Promise?”

“I promise,” he replied, matching your smile and leaning down to kiss you again.

[anotherspnfanfic]

Surprise Visits

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x reader

Word count: 2400

Warnings: seizure, epileptic reader, possible inaccuracies

Summary: Eddie shows up unexpectedly. Reader is glad he did for more than one reason.

A/N: This is only my second time writing for Eddie and last time it was a co-write. I did a whole bunch of research and had some proof reading from the lovely @thatonewriter15 and @muchamusedaboutnothing. Hopefully this is a somewhat accurate representation... 🤞🏻

Trudging up the stairs towards her apartment, she cursed the elevators for being broken. All she wanted to do was collapse into her bed and sleep for two days. Unfortunately, that was impossible since it was only Wednesday and she had an important meeting first thing in the morning.

Passing the third floor, she considered if she was going to eat before she went to bed. She was starving, but cooking seemed like too much effort and time. Then she considered having something delivered but guessed that would take even longer than cooking. She decided to just eat a spoonful of peanut butter so that she wasn’t battling hunger while trying to fall asleep.

Finally reaching the fifth floor, she exited the stairwell and took the four steps to her door. It was a small victory for climbing the stairs— at least she didn’t have further to go once she got to her floor.

She unlocked the door and pushed it open. Immediately, she dumped her purse, jacket, and laptop case on the floor beside the door before pulling her shoes off one at a time to drop in the pile.

Rounding the corner into the living room, she gasped. Her favorite scented candle was lit on the coffee table next to several containers of Chinese take-out. Eddie stood from the couch as she approached.

“What are you doing here?” she asked as she let herself fall into his embrace.

He pecked a kiss to her temple as he pulled back to look at her. “You sounded a little overwhelmed when you called earlier. So I had Buck take Christopher for the night, and I brought you dinner.”

Tears welled in her eyes as she was overcome with emotions. “I love you. You are the best. I was about to eat some peanut butter because I’m too exhausted to cook or wait for delivery.”

“And let me guess, you’ve barely eaten anything all day?” he chastised.

She shrugged. “I had a bagel for breakfast.”

He pulled her over to sit on the couch. “I’m glad I came then.”

“I’m really glad you did.” She grabbed a fortune cookie while he started to open the other containers. “Are you staying all night?”

He nodded. “I’m all yours. Buck is taking Christopher to the zoo tomorrow.” He dumped some rice on the plates he’d gotten out of the kitchen. “Chicken, beef, or shrimp?”

“Some of each, please.” She set the fortune cookie back down as she stood. ”I’m gonna go change out of these work clothes. I’ll be right back.”

Before Eddie could even finish dishing up the food, she returned in sweats and a shirt she’d stolen from him.

As she sat back down, she picked up and opened the fortune cookie. She pulled out the piece of paper. “‘Life will soon become interesting,’” she read. “I think it’s already plenty interesting.”

Eddie chuckled. “Yeah, where’s the one that says we get a vacation soon?”

He finished adding everything to their plates as she flipped on the television and started an episode of How I Met Your Mother.

They ate in a comfortable silence and had finished before the twenty-minute episode had ended. He set the mostly-empty plates on the table, and she shifted to curl in against his side while he wrapped his arm snugly around her shoulder.

As the credits rolled, he asked, “Bed or another episode?”

She yawned. “One more. I’m probably going to fall asleep, but I’m comfy.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead as the TV rolled over into a new episode on its own. “As you wish, mi amor.”

She had just started to doze off when, suddenly, she was overcome with a familiar, distinct, full-body tingling sensation along with intense nausea. She quickly shifted to leaning forward on the edge of her seat. “Oh, no. No, no, no.”

Eddie reached out and placed a tentative hand between her shoulder blades. “What’s wrong?”

She stood and moved over to the empty dining room, which she kept devoid of a table and other furniture precisely for this reason. “Seizure,” she stated as calmly as she could before lying down in the middle of the floor.

“Oh, uh, okay.” Eddie was surprised, but quickly stood. He grabbed a blanket from the recliner and moved to sit beside her. He knew about her epilepsy and the medications she took for it. However, in the eighteen months they’d been dating, she’d never had a seizure. He lifted her head to slide the folded blanket underneath.

She let out a quiet whimper before her eyelids fluttered closed.

“Okay. You’re okay. I got you.” He pulled out his phone, opened the timer, and set it on the floor. He continued to whisper soft reassurances to her and started the timer as soon as she started to seize.

Despite his training and having treated patients with seizures at work, he couldn’t help but notice the way his hands shook as he carefully kept her rolled on her side. “You’re okay,” he repeated, more to reassure himself than anything. He continued to repeat it several more times as he waited for her to stop.

He felt his anxiety spike again as he watched the timer hit four minutes. He thought about what time it was, trying to figure out which shift was manning the 118 currently. He knew if she hit five minutes, he would have to call 9-1-1. As the timer rolled past four and a half minutes, her movements finally began to slow. He breathed a sigh of relief and pushed some hair out of her face as she stilled. Next, he used the corner of the blanket to wipe the saliva that had dribbled out.

For his own peace of mind, he checked her pulse, satisfied that it was steady and only slightly tachy. Next, he counted her breaths, ensuring her breathing was also back to normal. Then he sat there, running his fingers gently through her hair, and waited for her to wake.

Finally, after several minutes of anxiously waiting, she groaned.

“Hey, sweetheart. You with me?”

Slowly, she cracked her eyes open and looked around for several moments before finally landing on his face. She was clearly confused and still disoriented.

“You’re okay. You just had a seizure,” he explained. “Do you remember feeling it coming on?”

She thought for a minute before finally nodding. Groaning again, she rolled onto her back and threw an arm over her face. “Trash,” she slurred.

Eddie shifted away to grab the trash can sitting in the corner and move it beside her. “Do you want to sit up?”

“Not yet.” She lied there, trying to regain her bearings.

He took her hand in his and ran his thumb softly over her knuckles. “Anything I can do?”

“Mmmm, make the jackhammer in my head stop? And the nausea, too.” She rolled back onto her side before starting to push herself into a sitting position and pulling the trash can between her knees. “This blows.”

Leaning forward, he placed a chaste kiss on her temple. “I know. I’m sorry. Do you want something for the headache?”

“Not yet. I don’t want to puke it right back up.”

She didn’t know how long she sat there, taking slow, deep breaths in an attempt to clear the nausea. All the while, Eddie rubbed soothing circles across her back. The soreness was already starting to settle in all her muscles. Eventually, she pushed away the trash can and leaned into him.

“Ya know, this isn’t the kind of interesting I was hoping for. Stupid fortune cookie,” she grumbled.

“Me either. You think you’re ready to move?” he asked as he wrapped his arms around her gently.

“Yeah.” She nodded. He stood, and she reached a hand out for him. “Help me up?”

Instead of pulling her up, he bent down and slid one arm under her knees and the other around her back and easily lifted her. He walked slowly towards her bedroom, cautious of making the nausea worse, then set her gently on the bed. “What do you need?”

“Uh, I will take that Tylenol now. Plus, water and some Advil for in the morning, and the trash can by the bed,” she listed, then, with a pout, added, “Please?”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.”

She laid back into her pillows as she waited for him to return. Next thing she knew, she was peeling her eyes open to find Eddie beside her, rubbing a hand across her head.

“Here, take these and then you can go to sleep.” He handed her the pills and then opened a bottle of water before offering that as well.

Once she’d swallowed them, she took a few deep breaths to clear the flare of nausea. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He pressed another kiss to her hairline.

“As much as seizures suck, it’s really nice having you here to help. I’ve just slept on the floor in there so many times because I just didn’t have the energy to move.”

“I’m glad I was here. I hate that you’ve had to go through that alone.”

“I hate that I have to go through it at all.” She sighed. “And I just broke my longest streak. At least I didn’t try to take a chunk out of my tongue.”

“Ouch.”

She nodded. “Yeah, one time, I had to get stitches from biting it so bad.”

He cringed. “That sounds awful.”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed, eyes fluttering closed. “Work is really going to suck tomorrow.”

“No, it won’t.” Eddie argued. ”You’re taking the rest of the week off.”

“I can’t!’ she declared, opening her eyes and leaning forward. “I have too many things to get done and a meeting first thing that we’ve been working toward for three weeks.”

“You just had a seizure,” he pointed out the obvious. “For the first time in, what, two years? And a long one at that. You were about twenty seconds away from a trip to the hospital. You don’t think your stress levels had something to do with this?” His tone was one of frustration, but she could tell he was just worried.

She sighed, knowing he was right. “Maybe.”

Eddie climbed into the other side of the bed and settled nearly in the middle. “So take the long weekend. Just relax and get some rest. Doctor’s orders.”

Shifting to curl into his side, she giggled. “You’re not a doctor.”

He huffed. “Medic’s orders. Is that better? Or I can call a doctor.”

“Don’t you dare.”

Rolling impossibly closer to her, he pressed one more kiss to her forehead. “Good night, mi amor.”

When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was her alarm clock. She was surprised to find it was nearly ten already. Slowly, she shifted onto her back and turned her head to look at the other side of the bed. She found Eddie sitting on the bed, scrolling through his phone.

“Good morning,” he greeted as he noticed she was awake. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m okay. Just a bit sore. Which is pretty much what I expected.” She took Eddie’s hand in hers. “And maybe a little grateful that I got to sleep in and I don’t have to get up and go to work.”

He lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles. “You needed it.”

“Oh, shit!” she panicked. “I didn’t call. I missed the meeting. I’m gonna get fired!”

Eddie shushed her. “I called. Just breathe. It’s okay. I called earlier and talked to your boss. He knows you’ll be out today and tomorrow and told me to tell you to take Monday also, if you need to.”

She took a deep breath and let herself relax. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Of course. How about some breakfast?”

“Mmm. Yes, please.”

Eddie let go of her hand and got up off the bed. “Stay there. I’ll be right back.”

He disappeared out of the room, and she could hear him moving around her kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned with a plate and set it on the bed in front of her.

She looked up at him, surprised. “Since when do you make omelettes?”

“Uhh, well, never?” He laughed. “I may have called in reinforcements. Bobby dropped it off earlier. I just reheated it according to his very direct instructions.”

“Eddie! I could have just had some cereal or something. You didn’t need to make him drive over here so early on his day off.” She reached over to grab her phone off the nightstand.

“I figured you could use real food. I was going to order delivery, but Bobby offered.”

“Why would he have offered?” She opened Bobby’s contact to send him a thank you text. “Oh. You told him about last night.”

“I couldn’t fall asleep. Then they were all texting in the group thread. So when they asked why I was still up, I told them. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have without asking you first.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s not like my epilepsy is a secret. They’re your—our— friends. I’m sure I would have told them anyway.”

He nodded. “Okay. Eat and then you can go back to sleep for a bit. If you want.”

She cut a piece off the omelette and ate it. As she chewed, she spoke, “Bobby says we’re invited over there for dinner if I’m feeling up to it. I told him we would let them know a little later today.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”

She took another bite of her food. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

Shaking his head, he explained, “I ate earlier.”

“Oh, right.” She glanced at the clock. “I forgot it was so late already.”

“Anything else I can get for you?”

She contemplated for a moment. “Umm, maybe a glass of apple juice?”

He disappeared from the room with a simple nod.

Soon after he returned, she finished her omelette and he took the plate into the kitchen.

“Did you want to go back to sleep?” he asked.

“How about a shower and then a movie on the couch?” she countered, throwing off the blankets she was still tucked under. As she stood, dizziness flared, causing her to sway slightly before sitting back down.

Eddie was in front of her instantly, steadying her. “How about a bath instead?”

“Sounds perfect.”

[catastrfy]

here is some odd stuff that i think may support loni's body swap theory let's start here. nina and maggie confront crowley, and his reaction? "but you were crying"

except it was aziraphale who saw maggie crying. he told crowley she had a "pash" for nina; would he have mentioned the crying? i don't know. but it's ODD.

but there's also this way crowley says "bla bla bla" to nina and maggie -- it's *ridiculously* overdone when compared to when he says it to muriel

and then later when later, the metatron asks crowley if he knows him and says he was a big floating giant head. except when crowley last see the metatron?

when he was in heaven with muriel, in the recording, as one of several enlarged heads on screens.

but somebody else DID see the metatron last as a big floating giant head just a few years ago....

well. ift hey swapped WHEN was it? i LOVE loni's fabulous theory where they posit at "no nightingales but could it have been earlier than that? so i've watched and watched and watched the last episode, and i'm thinking maybe it was when gabriel was having his flashbacks.

i am pretty certain the scene before this was them as themselves. here they are before beez gets the fly and gives it to jim. crowley's got his usual mobile face with his forehead creases and expressive mouth... and he talks to beelzebub the way he had earlier (vs how aziraphale had when he was facing hell in s1e6)

this is the first shot of them after gabriel's flashbacks conclude. look at crowley's face.

it stays blank for the time that gabriel recognises aziraphale, sees the angels, says "eesh" at the demons, brightens when he sees beez, and when beez tells him aziraphale took better care of him than they could've done.

we've seen his face with the closed lips and smoother forehead before:

also, this is subtle and it's entirely possible it only means that this scene was shot over multiple days, but check out the right edge (viewer's right, a's left) of aziraphale's bowtie in each picture here. he's been standing fairly still, yet his tie isn't tied quite the same before the fly and after. you can see an extra stripe at the far right edge in the pic that says "true love" the collar of his jacket has moved; more of the left (our left) side of his waistcoat is visible in the 2nd pic. and again, yes, this absolutely could be different takes, probably not immediately after one another if the bowtie had to be retied. except... didn't they use pre-tied bowties this time around? is this an "everything is meant"???

i had to look at crowley too, of course. pre-fly, immediate post fly, starting to look normal, then aziraphale gives him a shake and he looks up. there ARE subtle changes. the collar button of his shirt changes position and so does his neck noodle. it's hard to see his tattoo until he's outside (although it's clear before beez gives jim the fly), but that may just be lighting. or maybe it takes a moment to settle in? I DONT KNOW (also, beez keeps looking over at aziraphale & crowley and i want to know WHY/what they see!) and oh, have you noticed that the top of aziraphale's right ear SWIVELS when michael is threatening him with being erased fromthe book of life? it starts at teh end of 33:50 and goes into 33:51. and about 15 frames later, the metatron appears at the door. i don't have a way to make it into a gif, but here's the first and last of his ear moving. it's not him turning his head, because that wisp of hair doesn't move, nor does his lobe. just... the top. o.O

and ooho, just today i noticed THIS: here's aziraphale's bowtie when he's telling crowley about the offer to go to heaven. LOOK AT THE TARTAN ON HIS TIE.

previously looking at the tie as the viewer, the vertical stripe pattern of dark stripes is thin dark line, narrow gap, group of medium/dark/medium lines, widish gap, repeat. here it's med/dark/med lines, narrow gap, thin dark line, wider gap, repeat. the fabric is upside down from earlier. (and yes, again, this could be an error by costuming/continuity. but i'm hoping it means something bc everything is meant) if you haven't read loni's theory, go check it out!

[tinkerleaf]

Anxious

I have severe anxiety and have been feeling icky because of it, so I wanted to write some Dazai comfort. :) Warnings: mention of mental health struggle Pairing: Dazai/reader Genre: comfort Words: 515 ish

Dazai understood anxiety all too well, so he never judged you for struggling with your mental health. You once had an anxiety attack at the office, and he was able to calm you down without alerting the others, which you appreciated. You hated making him worry about you, adding another item to his never-ending list of burdens.

But honestly, he didn’t mind. You were one of the few people he felt a close connection with, but he would never tell that to your face. He didn’t need to. His actions always spoke much more than anything that came out of his mouth.

“Yeah.”

Your thumb hovered over the call button after dialing his number. It was one in the morning, and there was no way you would get to sleep tonight. Why? You had no clue. Your heart pounded in your chest over all kinds of things that didn’t even matter. Tears spilled down your eyes and face, your breath heaving. After arguing with yourself over whether or not to call him for too long, you finally pressed the button.

Two agonizingly long trills later, you heard his voice. “Is it bad again?”

“I’m on my way.” This wasn’t the first time you had asked him to come sit with you during one of your episodes. He didn’t mind to. He liked having your company just as much as you liked his

About twenty minutes later, you heard him unlock the door with your spare key outside and make his way in. He placed a bag of work clothes on your couch before taking off his coat. Footsteps slowly approached your bedroom. “You wanna talk about it?”

You shook your head no.

“Alright then. Come here.” He sat on your bed next to you and opened his arms to allow you into his lap. You immediately embraced him. His hand cradled your head, while the other held your waist. The room was so quiet, but not uncomfortably so. His body was warm and his heartbeat was steady. It was calming to your restless nerves. After a while, he began to talk about random things to get your mind somewhere else. He knew you were soothed once you started to respond with more than simple ‘yes’s and ‘no’s.

Eventually, the two of you fell asleep peacefully together. That is until your alarm went off at 7 o’clock for work.

“How are you feelin’?” Dazai asked as he stretched out.

You smiled, “I promise.” He couldn't help but stare at you, at how much better you looked. You felt safe with him.

“A lot better.” You sat up, " Thanks for staying with me."

He placed his hands along the base of your jaw, gently pulling you to face him. He didn’t say anything at first but watched your gaze fall onto his. “You don’t have to keep thanking me. Just promise me that you’ll always call me before anyone else.”

While he used your shower, you made breakfast. After getting dressed, you both walked down to the agency to start a new day.

[vintagenahbi]

When You’re Hurt

Ot7x Reader- BTS Reactions Pt.2

Jimin, Jin, V, RM

Summary: How each member reacts when you have been harmed or injured.

Warnings 🚨: Mentions of harm, mental health, accidents, and assault

Jimin

I hadn’t been in the best mood recently. I was extremely depressed and couldn’t get out of my funk. I sat around the house most days and did absolutely nothing; however, it was getting noticeable worse.

I was home alone when the depressive episode hit me like a truck. I got up off the couch and decided to go into the kitchen. I grabbed some cucumbers, mushrooms and cabbage and started chopping way. Cooking was the only thing that could cheer me up since it was what I was good at, but that wasn’t even working today.

Suddenly, I was back in my daze- spaced out from everything around me. My body jolted forward as a sharp pain rushed from my hand. I sliced my palm straight through the meat. Blood was gushing out so quickly that I didn’t have time to think.

I don’t like the sight of blood and typically get queasy just looking at it. I started to feel light headed. I grabbed the edge of the counter top, then everything went black.

I woke up in my bedroom with my hand wrapped tightly in a white bandage. Some blood was seeping out, but nothing compared to what happened earlier. I got out of the bed and walked into the living room. I could hear a scrub brush sawing at the floor in the kitchen. I slowly walked in the kitchen to see Jimin on his hands and knees cleaning up the spilled food and blood. He looked up at me surprised. He got up propping himself up with his knee.

“Y/N you should be resting not out here.” He grabbed my waist and kissed my cheek. I could feel his hand start rubbing up and down my back.

“Jimin what happened?”

“I honestly don’t know. Once I got home I saw you on the ground.” He paused for a moment to clear his throat. Jimin’s eyes were swelling up with tears. “I was so scared. Seeing you helpless on the floor. You’d been so down recently and I thought.” He trailed off. My heart sank into my chest.

I turned to face him, stroking his cheek with my free hand. “I would never leave you that way.” He held me in a tight embrace. He pulled away and I used my thumb to move the tears off his cheek.

“Y/N I need you to get better so I don’t lose you. This can’t happen again. I can’t lose you.” I shook my head in agreement. He kissed me one more time, as he walked away he cleared his throat to get his composure back. He got back to cleaning the floor.

“I love you.” Jimin looked up at me and smiled.

“Get your rest. I’ll be in there to take care of you once I get done.” I nodded my head yes and walked back to the bedroom.

Jin

I was on my way home when all of a sudden I felt someone following me. That feeling when you know you aren’t alone. I turned the corner and was met by a dead end. The figure stopped the moment I stopped waiting for me. I turned around and booked it. I moved my feet as fast as I could past him, but he grabbed my waist and stared to laugh. He ripped my shirt and cover my mouth with their hand. I tried to scream but was shoved to the ground. I slammed my knee against the concrete, but I refused to go without a fight.

He bent down and I kicked him in the jaw. I immediately took off running. I let my body guide me to where I was trying to go.

I opened the door to my apartment. Once I hurriedly locked the door I broke down crying. Jin must have heard me because I heard his footsteps rush over to me. He tried to calm me and grabbed my arm to help me get back on my feet. I could tell he noticed my torn shirt and bloody knee. Jin sat me on the couch. All I could do was cry hysterically.

Jin didn’t ask any questions. He moved me into the bathroom and helped me get out of my torn clothes. He fixed up my knee and got me a fresh pair of sweats. I began to calm down some after several hours. My body had been in shock. I honestly was lost for words. I don’t know how or when, but we were back in the living and Jin was standing in front of me near the tv.

“What happened Y/N?” I couldn’t help but to start to get chocked up.

“I was coming home and someone grabbed me and he umm… he tried to… you know.” I began to sob again. Jin rushed to my side and held me. He didn’t say a word, he only held me. We sat in silence for what felt like hours until he spoke.

“I won’t ever let anyone hurt you. I promise” Jin said quietly. I looked at him and shook my head to signal that I understood. “Anything you need, I’ll be here for you.” I faintly smiled. His presence was more than enough. For the rest of the night he sat with me and made sure I ate. Whatever I needed he was there.

V

I was at the coffee shop when all of a sudden some man came up behind me ripping my purse from off my shoulder, nearly dragging me with it. I ended up catching my fall only to hear a snap come from my wrist. I grabbed it in pain. Not only was my wrist broken but my purse was stolen.

I sat in the hospital as the doctors gave me the news I had already predicted earlier. My wrist was broken in two places. I sat on the hospital bed waiting for them to wrap my arm for the cast.

Taehyung walked into my room stunned. He hugged me so tightly that i couldn’t breathe. I winced out in pain and I pointed down at my wrist to show him he was holding me too tightly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. What happened?” I took a deep sigh.

“Robbery gone.” His eyes widen.

“Robbery? Are you okay? Did anything else happen?” Taehyung began speaking a mile a minute. I grabbed his shoulder to get him to stop.

“Tae, I’m safe and I’m okay.” He sat on the hospital bed and waited with me. The doctors came in and wrapped my arm in a cast. Taehyung kept kissing my cheek and reassuring me the entire time. I was one to express his affection and it felt nice. Once we were done he took great care of me for the rest of the day. He made sure all the credit cards were canceled and that I didn’t get my cast wet.

We laid in bed cuddled up watching a movie. All things considered, I had a great day that was spent with Tae. He was amazing through it all and I almost forgot the events that happened this morning. Tae paused the movie abruptly and I looked up at him.

“I hate that that happened to you today and I couldn’t do anything. I’m supposed to be there and I wasn’t. I guess I am having a hard time dealing with that part.” I sat up.

“It’s not your fault Tae. I didn’t know it was going to happen. I’m okay though. A broken arm hurts but I’m okay.” I stroked his face and gave him a kiss. I noticed a tear swim down his cheek. He smiled at me and pulled me in closer. There wasn’t much he could do and we both knew that. He made me feel safe which was the most important thing to me.

RM

I had been getting threats online. It was nothing new, but it was messing with my mental health. Every hateful thing I was starting to believe about myself. I was becoming consumed with it all. I would get online and another comment about how horrible I looked or how RM could do better. Our relationship was not that public but even a rumor could get you hate.

Namjoon came home late as I starred in the distance waiting for him in the living room. Tears kept flowing down my cheeks, but I kept my eyes on the painting that consumed the wall. Namjoon walked over and kneeled down in front of me. I looked down at him and then back at the painting.

“It’s too much Joon.” He looked at me confused. I could see his heart nearly beating out of his chest. He saw that my phone was open and the long threat that knew every detail about me. The message expressed all the harm they wished upon me. Not all were mean, but this felt different. It broke me.

“I can’t Joon. I wanna give up.” I always struggled with certain thoughts and this kind of attention was making it worse. Joon picked me up and sat me on his lap. I cried into his shoulder. I could feel his heavy breathing as I listened to the pounding of his heart.

“Y/N it’s okay.” I felt extremely vulnerable to the point that it was embarrassing. Joon pulled me away. “I don’t want you reading these anymore. Okay? You are a great woman and I don’t need you believing this stuff.” He grabbed my phone and turned off the comment options.

“Joon, I’m sorry.” He held me tightly again. We sat there for about thirty minutes. I got off his lap and walked into the bedroom. He followed behind making sure I wasn’t alone for a second. That’s when he noticed the printed out messages. He read through them and shook his head in disbelief.

“I never knew it was this bad Y/N. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was ashamed. It’s been so much and I didn’t want to hurt you.” I sat down on the bed.

“I can handle this. I’m worried about you. I need you to be okay Y/N. I can take stuff like this, but you should have to.” Joon wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed the back of my neck. “This won’t happen anymore.”

[ghostlycheuwing]

The empty frame (which also became an incidental meta about portraits in Ghosts)

I find the establishing shot of the Captain reminiscing privately in Carpe Diem very meaningful.

We get this image with the music they used in Redding Weddy to introduce the flashbacks between the Captain and Havers. Interestingly, in that episode, we hear the violins twice and it's always in association with the letter addressed to William – the first time, the Captain is looking at the envelope in deep thoughts and hurriedly hides it as he bids Havers to come; the second, he looks at the envelope in deep thoughts and eventually throws it on top of the bomb (his metaphorical heart), intending to bury them forever (... or until it explodes, as it were. Of course, if you repress your feelings for too long, they tend to explode in your face).

When you hear the music, you immediately understand the Captain is thinking about Havers.

The framing (pun intended) is really interesting to me. The Captain has an expression of intense longing on his face. He seems to be in the same position as he was at the end of Redding Weddy, when he sees/remembers Havers' private goodbye from afar as he left for the front; sitting at the same window; turned the same way; a similar expression on his face; both hands on the stick again. Indeed, just after, we are shown the same view of the front gate, sans Havers. If you allow me another nod: the frame is empty.

I keep talking about frames, because I find the empty frame on the Captain's right very symbolic. The association with the next shot (the image of the front gate without Havers = an empty frame) makes it all the more poignant to me. Why is the Captain's frame empty?

Frames are shown to ornate several kinds of objects in the show:

Portraits of loved ones. Fanny's husband comes to mind. Interestingly, it is the portrait of a closeted homosexual man, whom Fanny eventually learns to accept for who he was and what society was through his portrait (while a gay wedding is about to take place).

Portraits of oneself. Humphrey and Fanny are prominent ones. I just realised that both portraits get torn during the show, which reflects their fragmented identities/sense of self. I love that Fanny's portrait gets repaired, albeit not perfectly, by Alison. I love that Fanny recognises that she is still the same girl underneath. (I love that Humphrey seems mildly disgruntled and resigned at the damage on his one? It's exactly his reactions towards his recalcitrant body, and it feels very much like his whole vibe; I adore him). Also, we shouldn't forget Thomas' portrait: slowly built until he overthinks it all, gets ahead of himself and rejects the piece before it is ready... a portrait which ends up being put aside by the woman he loves (a woman who feels slighted by his hasty words even if he only wanted to be honourable). If it doesn't parallel his relationship with Isabelle and his death, I don't know what does!

Mirrors. It is a recurring theme around the Captain of course: we see his reflection in the mirror in the intro; the picture on Alison's mirror has him reminiscing about dead seagulls and start the process of resolution which saves the day.

With that in mind, I find the symbol of the empty frame can work on several layers here:

Portrait of a loved one: the frame is empty, but not because there is no one (there is still a frame). It could symbolise an absent lover (Havers left the picture through that front gate)... or a love that never became official. No one could have taken Havers' portrait for the Captain. And Havers wouldn't have given him his picture, because everything was left unsaid. Not to mention the fact that it would have been incredibly damning and dangerous for the Captain to keep the image of the man he loved around him. It had to stay hidden, invisible. So no picture, and Havers is far away and out of reach, but he is still very much present in the Captain's mind and heart. He is able access the memory of Havers not through his portrait but through his secret memories.

Portrait of oneself: a portrait (one like Fanny's, Humphrey's and Thomas') is made with care. It takes a long time to complete and it cements the way you want to (or people want you to) be remembered through time. It is a reflection of who you are, but also the way others perceive you. Humphrey and Fanny had their portraits done because they were socially important and rich people; these are very official portraits. As I touched before, they are also a sign of their fragmented selves. Both characters want to be and get to be more than this unmoving piece of history. They both lost themselves in who they were supposed to be. Through death, they are allowed to show their own individuality. For his part, Thomas gets to pose like a romantic intellectual (or an intellectual romantic?), very much the way he wants to be seen and remembered. He has someone close to him who is willing to paint him.

Now, the empty frame could be a sign that the Captain was not considered important enough in his life or was not remembered fondly enough (by the troops, for example) to capture his image. We understand that he has never been on the front, and men like Cartwright sneer at him for that reason. In a room full of officers, the heroes whose memory the Captain never fails to honour, he is readily rejected. At that point in time, there is no place in history for the Captain to be remembered (and he believes it too: "I am no hero"). The empty frame could be a symbol of his lack of active role during the war (something that is obviously important in his own identity and the way he is perceived by people who "made history"). The absence of a portrait could also reflect the fact that no close one was there to take his picture. He was not fully seen by Havers, or, once again, it was not possible for them to carry a portrait of their loved one. It was even less possible for Havers to take the time to paint the Captain or be asked to take his picture (… although... one could dream. I mean, can you imagine Havers secretly, or not-so-secretly-but-the-Captain-is-oblivious, taking a picture of him, developing it on his own and frequently gazing at the portrait of the Captain, so focused on his image that he fails to see the seemingly judgemental old lady looking over the Cap's shoulder in the background. I love the idea of Fanny & James, the repressed siblings, having a photo taken of them together before they even got to know each other). To sum up: no official loved one to preserve the Captain's image, no place in history according to his society.

Mirrors: well, it's all about the reflection of the self, isn't it? We know the Captain has difficulties with his identity. He has carefully crafted his military persona and has played the role of the strict and efficient commanding officer for decades, repressing his more sentimental and less conventional side as much as he could. A crucial part of his arc is that he buried his heart and he has to learn to accept himself and express who he is without fear. I also love the idea of inversion in relation to the Captain: in a mirror, you're looking at the inverted image of yourself. "Inversion" was a synonym for homosexuality in the Victorian era (and was still in use in the 40s). Therefore, the recurring theme of mirrors makes a lot of sense around this character. Even his decorations (over his heart) are placed in an inverted way. The empty frame could represent the lingering issue around his identity. After this moment of introspection, and faced with his potentially impeding passing, he will finally tell the truth about who he is. The frame is empty right now, but he is about to leave that behind: he gets to accept who he is. He gets to share the truth about his past and his heart. He gets to be seen (and cherished) for who he is.

The Captain is gazing out of the window, but visually the empty frame is very much part of that window. Hence the Captain is metaphorically reflecting on this empty frame. A symbol for the absence of his loved one, the lack of place in history or remembrance for him, the lack of place in history and memories for his relationship with Havers, the sense of intense self-repression. (on that note, bear in mind that up until his confession, no one knew the Captain's name. It is after this deep introspection that James is able to be open about it all)

When he comes out of his reflection (... pun intended?), we can see how intense the process is for him. It is overwhelming and painful. But when he looks away from the window/empty frame, he faces forward. He turns his eyes to the room next to him - I believe it is the room where he's about to meet the ghosts, so the room where he's about to come out. This shift means that in the Captain's mind, it is not about then anymore: it is about now. Back then he couldn't be himself; he couldn't show his heart. Now, if he's brave enough, maybe he can exist as his true self.

[m3r1m4r5u333]

Argh. I'm in an emotional rollercoaster about this storyline in which Buck gets jealous when Eddie gets close to Tommy.

I mean, on one hand, it's hilarious that it's Tommy, Eddie's male friend, and not Marisol, Eddie's girlfriend, who ignites this jealousy in Buck.

Because doesn't it kinda hint that Buck has (maybe sub-consciously) internalized that Mr. "Imagine Jello with me" Diaz truly is so bad with women...

that any relationship he has with a woman can be happily ignored, as it clearly poses no threat to Eddie's and Buck's relationship.

...HOWEVER!!

On the other hand, the fact that it's Tommy, not Eddie's girlfriend, that sparks this jealousy... ?

It wrecks me because it also is pretty damn heart-breaking and sad if you look at it another way!!

Maybe this jealousy, sparked by a male friend, tells another story of Buck's thought progress.

Maybe it tells us a tale of Buck getting burned before, and learning from that, and then, to avoid further hurt, rethinking his role in Eddie's life, and clinging to what he thinks is safe and certain.

After all, there was a time when Buck, Eddie and Chris did so much together, all the time. They were close, Buck was absolutely parenting, Buck felt like he really belonged. They were a family.

And then all of a sudden, it was taken away from him!!

Imagine how deeply that would hurt.

This severed connection is btw, pretty heavily implied/canon, I think - we pretty much know, I'd argue, that when Eddie started dating Ana, there was a time when Buck did not get to see Chris much.

In the episode in which Ana and Chris visit Eddie at the firestation in 5x02...

Buck is overjoyed to see Chris, he gives him a really fierce hug, immediately asking Chris "How are you?"

I really get the impression that they haven't seen in a while.

It's supported by the way Eddie watches and grins like it's such a thrill for him, to see Buck and Chris meet - that's not really something he'd do if he saw them interact all the time, is it?

What Eddie says after he forgets to introduce Ana (too spellbound by Buck and Chris to remember her existence, basically) and has a panic attack - further supports this faltering connection.

Eddie runs off under the pretense of needing to put the salads Ana brought to the fridge.As he's making his escape, in panic, he mutters

"I don't want these things to wilt."

It's supposed to be an explanation - must save the salads from wilting! - but combined with the way he says that soon after he's just witnessed Buck and Chris meet, and the subtext telling us that it's been a while...

Eddie has just been reminded of how well the Diaz-Buckley family fits together,

and does not want those bonds to wilt - and he's realising that they have been, due to Ana pretty much taking over Buck's former parental duties. (And hey, then Eddie pretty promptly dumps Ana.)

But that doesn't erase or entirely fix what has already happened.

Buck has learned that he is replacable, that his status in the Diaz family is not guaranteed. He can be family one day, and then all of a sudden, shut out.

Learning that he's written in Eddie's will would not really cheer him up much, either. It's not security to know that he can be a parent, truly, without question - if Eddie is dead.

And then that talk he has with Eddie about a ready-made family. It really makes it clear that Buck is hurt. He tries to hide it, but it's so visible when Eddie talks becoming a ready-made family, and Eddie not knowing if he's ready for that.

Supposedly Eddie is talking about his ready-made family with Ana... But he's looking at Buck. He says "we became a ready-made family". And looks Buck in the eyes.

They aren't total idiots, they would have realised how much this whole unit of Chris+Eddie+Buck spending time together really imitates other families.

So there's no way that they don't realise that on some really repressed, strange level, this talk is about them, being a family.

Also, why would Buck look so hurt and sad, why would he look down, if he was fine with the way things have been? If Eddie was really talking about just Ana, and Buck had never felt like he was family, why would that talk about a ready-made family make him feel so uncomfortable?

Buck is hurt because he knows he was family, and he knows he was replaced, and then Eddie even kinda admits it.

And Eddie also implies that he's not ready for that.

That's really not an invite to get invested again. Nope, it's a life lesson for Buck:

Do not take these family interactions for granted. Who knows when Eddie is done with them, and you find yourself outside in the cold again!

So Buck deals with that by clinging to what is safe. What is secure. What he thinks he can have, and keep.

He decides that even if his role as a co-parent is uncertain, and may end up in the bin whenever... His role as a best friend? That's guaranteed.

So he does not feel threatened by Eddie's girlfriends. He understands now what space Eddie's partners may take in Eddie's and Christopher's life,

but that's fine because Buck can set up another spot for himself. It's maybe not ideal, not what he'd choose, but it's a spot nevertheless!

After all, Eddie finding another girlfriend, or even a wife, another co-parent... Does not remove Eddie's need for a best friend. Even married people crave friendships! So that role is available, that Buck can do, holding onto that won't get him burned!

He thinks.

And then this fucker Tommy steps into the picture, and Eddie bonds with him.

Buck gets nervous. What if he's wrong? What if even the friendship, the best friend status, is something that can be suddenly ripped away from him?

So Tommy is now competition, a threat, someone who could steal the one position by Eddie's side that Buck thought he had, for certain, for good.

Buck is worried. Jealous. Angry. Scared.

...

Anyway! See now, why this storyline is absolutely destroying me?!

[lurkingshan]

We Need to Talk about Love in Translation

I caught up on Love in Translation this week at @bengiyo’s behest, as he’s been talking about how good it is. It’s a Thai bl on iQIYI, and in this current deluge of shows, it’s flying mostly under the radar. But this week’s episode convinced me this is a show we should be prioritizing even with so much to keep up with, and I wanted to talk a little bit about why. 

Ben already covered some of the basics about the show, and I agree with all of that, but what is really blowing me away is the confidence of the writing and the control the writers have on the pacing of this story. Because this show? Moves, and it moves fast. The relationships are evolving rapidly, and our leads are moving closer every week, and yet nothing ever feels rushed or unearned. They start out adversaries, but it’s all based on a misunderstanding, and once that gets cleared up and they get to know each other, they come to like each other rather quickly. The narrative gives us good reasons for their rapidly shifting perspectives, and crucially, this is a story that is fundamentally about kind people with emotional intelligence, so their openness to changing their minds about each other tracks.

So in episode four, we begin with a classic drama set up: Phumjai, our inexperienced but enthusiastic protagonist, is finally going on a date with his crush, Tammy, and he asks his new friend and business partner, Yang, to go on a practice date with him. Yang is, of course, already half in love with Phumjai and this set up is torture for him. And so the “fake” date commences, and of course the two of them have a fantastic time, forgetting Tammy exists for long stretches before Phumjai inevitably brings her up again and Yang’s face falls. Before the date ends, they end up lounging alone under a tree, Phumjai asks Yang about what kind of lover he would want, and Yang takes the opportunity to make his feelings clear. 

Their almost kiss is interrupted, but here’s the important part: Phumjai is extremely aware of what almost just happened, and what it means. He knows Yang was about to kiss him, and he was going to let him. And he knows the implications of that, unlike the typical trope where a character like him would remain confused about Yang’s intentions or his own feelings. Phumjai is inexperienced, but he’s not ignorant. Still, he has committed to a date with Tammy, and so he goes. And the whole time he’s with her, he can feel that it’s not right. He’s not feeling the same things with her that he was with Yang, and his mind wanders back to Yang continuously throughout his time with Tammy. He is not doing the typical drama thing of sublimating or ignoring his feelings. He notices what is going on with his heart and what it means. 

And here is where the show wows me again: Phumjai does something about it immediately. He ends his date with Tammy without kissing her despite a clear invitation to do so and runs straight to Yang to talk to him about what he’s feeling. He tells him with total honesty that he’s been thinking about him all day, and that he didn’t feel the way he thought he would with Tammy, and that he wants to understand what is going on between them. Yang listens to him patiently as he works it out, and once he’s given an opening, he doesn’t hesitate to lean in and finish the kiss he started earlier in the episode.

Let me just emphasize again: all of this happened in one episode. This show deftly covered the emotional groundwork and character development that most dramas would take several weeks if not half a season to unpack, and it all felt organic and authentic to who these characters are. I sat up and stared at my screen in awe several times throughout this episode because I was so delighted by what was happening and how confident the underlying writing was. We are now halfway through the show, and we have ample time to work through the fallout of Phumjai’s realizations and see him and Yang actually figure out being in a relationship together (my favorite thing in any romance drama). This is a new screenwriting team (it’s literally their first credit) and they certainly have my attention. I can’t wait to see what they have in store for the second half of this story.

[cod-dump]

i've seen it somewhere but can't find it anymore and now I'm brainrotting it so hard so: thoughts on angst where Simon accidentally hurts Johnny while asleep because of nightmare or ptsd episode after a mission?

The nightmares aren't as bad these days as they used to be. Visions of the past, intense dreams of possible futures. When Ghost started to get involved with Soap, the dreams started to fade. But they didn't go away completely.

He was reminded of that.

Ghost was resting well, especially when Soap joined him in bed. Holding Soap against his chest, Ghost was able to fall asleep much easier than he has in the past several years. It got to the point where he found himself unable to sleep without Soap. He constantly sought the man out so he could drag him off somewhere to sleep. Ghost almost believed that Soap chased off the bad dreams, allowing him peace.

He did not.

He wasn't sure what had triggered the episode. Maybe the mission reports he's been going over filled his head with things. Ghost was completely unaware of what was coming, cuddling up against Soap for the night. He remembered falling asleep rather easy and then pieces of a nightmare.

He woke kneeling over Soap, hands around the man's throat. Ghost let go as soon as he realized what he was doing. Ghost practically threw himself off the bed as Soap coughed. He stared at his hands, seeing flashes where they were covered in blood only to flash back to being clean. He found himself shaking. He hurt Soap. Put his hands on him and tried to kill him.

Ghost immediately made sure Soap got to medical before having himself locked up in the brig. It didn't take long for Price to come to figure out what the hell was going on. Ghost barely talked, still in deep shock over his own actions.

"Soap's in medical, you put yourself in here- Tell me what happened."

Being woken up in the early hours of the morning because one of his men was in medical and another put himself in the brig could be at fault for Price's snappiness.

Ghost was staring at his hands, every other moment he could see blood on them only for it to disappear in a blink of an eye. After several minutes, he looks up at Price, hands shaking.

"I hurt him."

Price blinks, "What?"

"He's in medical because of me."

Price was having a hard time believing that, Ghost could see it on his face. Price ended up leaving to talk to Soap about what happened, leaving Ghost. Ghost remained seated, unable to get the image of Soap's face when he was choking him. The fear and confusion in his eyes. His face turning blue due to the lack of air. Ghost shudders, anger welling up inside him. Anger at himself for hurting someone he cared for, hurting someone that trusted him not to. Laid next to him, allowing himself to be vulnerable. Ghost had betrayed Soap's trust. There's no fixing that.

Ghost laid on the bench, curling up. He hurt Soap. And no matter what happens next, even if Soap forgives him, it still happened. He hurt him and there's no way to take that back. He hurt him. And Ghost knows that he would not allow himself the chance to hurt him again. Even if that means pushing him away, he refuses to hurt Soap again. Never again.

[eriexplosion]

Here's How Shrimp Trooper Theory Can Still Win

This is as fringe as it gets folks.

I've done my very serious Tech lives essay now it's time for my actual wild theory. Plus @katara-stan-club wanted the shrimp trooper essay and I will take any opportunity to yammer. Please don't take this extremely seriously as it is just something that I'm spinning up for entertainment and is almost certainly not true. (Unless!)

So the opening to Confined is... Odd to me. I've mentioned this in a post before but just to recap, it is definitely the odd man out of the three season starters.

Season one of course we intro with Caleb, who then leads us directly to meet the batch and get our first character appearances, along with convenient introductions. A fun, action packed little scene before things immediately go to hell.

Season two we intro with the batch in the middle of a job, which gives us another fun action scene that shows us how much Omega has grown, as well as the current status of the batch itself.

Season three though? Season three starts us off with a ship going down in a lightning storm and all the stormtroopers inside assumed to be eaten by the giant monsters that lurk in Tantiss' jungles. (Going by Omega's tally marks later in the episode, we're about 20 days post plan 99.) Nothing to do with the batch at all, though we do get a glance at what's in the jungle, and a tiny bit more of Hemlock being a bastard of course.

Now, seemingly, this scene is the set up for episode three, when they make their escape and head for the downed ship.

Except it's completely unnecessary. When they get to the ship, it turns on but it's incapable of flight and the comms are still down and non functioning. The ship they end up taking and using to escape is the ship that came in pursuit of them. The plot would have gone down exactly the same if they had just picked a direction and fled without the downed ship. It's a complete red herring for how they ultimately end up escaping.

So why is it important enough to open the season on if the ship essentially functions as nothing more than a destination point?

Enter Shrimp Trooper Theory.

Going back to the stormtroopers. We have four of them inside the ship, the pilot and three others. We're going to be focusing on our boy on the far right of the second picture.

The pilot speaks before the ship goes down so we can confirm he's a rando. Our fellow in the middle speaks next, identifying himself as TK-343, another rando. The one on the far left talks about wild beasts proving himself, you guessed it, a third rando. But our boy on the far right doesn't talk at all through this whole scene, leaving his identity up in the air.

So we'll take a closer look at him and brighten the scene up a bit.

Now, seeing this guy hobble his way out of the ship, I thought that he looked somewhat familiar. Specifically.

That shitty ass posture. (Forgive the sloppiness of the edit I did this comparison once before and I am not remaking it)

We do not actually see the troopers all get eaten, we cut to the interior of Tantiss before it happens. Theoretically there is nothing stopping this shrimp shaped man from being Tech.

The timeline of shrimp trooper theory:

Tech falls from the rail car and manages to survive the landing but he's severely injured. He crawls away/gets scraped off the ground by Saw.

Roughly 3 weeks pass in which he is recovering and healing yet unable to comm out as, per episode 4 of season 3, Imperial planets monitor long range communications. But, he is able to gather information from the flights going in and out of Eriadu to determine which ones are being assigned to Hemlock's secretive lab. Once he is able to confirm this, he steals some stormtrooper armor and boards.

Ship goes down because gravity hates him in particular and he is almost eaten by a Beast.

Now stranded in the jungle on Tantiss, Tech finds his infiltration plan foiled by the fact that he is being continually hounded by even more Beasts.

Several months later, Batcher is released and for some reason goes straight for the wrecked ship. Somehow she survives out here, but we're not sure how - potentially she had help?

Tech IS the mystery clone X that we see but rather than being brainwashed he has finally managed to get inside Tantiss and yet again begins to Steal Clothing from others.

Crosshair and Omega immediately break out without him leaving him stranded in Tantiss where he presumably still is, attempting to avoid detection and continue to gather information that will aid in the eventual liberation of the other clones.

Is this unlikely? Yes! Is it overly complicated? Absolutely! Am I endlessly entertained by it anyway? You bet!

Benefits of Shrimp Trooper Theory include, but are not limited to:

A living, non brainwashed Tech! The most important feature one could have!

An extremely ridiculous Only In Star Wars series of events!

Retroactive explanation for why the ship going down was an important scene to start on.

Hemlock ruining his own life by not sending someone out to recover the team and just assuming they'd totally be taken care of by the wildlife.

More giant monsters than Wrecker could shake a stick at.

The possibility of Tech and Batcher offscreen shenanigans.

Tech thinking he's finally found Crosshair and making plans to retrieve him when, SURPRISE, OMEGA'S HERE TOO AND THEY'RE ESCAPING. RIGHT NOW.

Seriously just imagine the epic sigh Tech would let out as they flew away completely unaware of his presence. His life is a series of difficulties.

He can simply turn up with the coordinates to Tantiss because god knows how else they're going to manage to get them.

This is my conspiracy theory that I'm allowing myself to believe in as a treat. It will almost certainly not be what occurs but the thought of it makes me happy.

[destinygoldenstar]

Ninjago Dragons Rising Season 2 - Is It Good Or Nah?

So, I'm late to the party, aren't I?

Well I've had so much work that I think I'm having an existential crisis. So I had to wait till I had a free day to watch this season because I wanted to watch it with my GF.

We got to Episode 6, and then what did my boss do?

Slap me in the face with long work hours several days of the week.

I feel like I'm in a spiral of work after work after work with no purpose to life besides failure cause I can't trust myself to be capable at anything-

ANYWAY. We finished it now.

You know what the insane part about the season is? That it got the show trending on Tumblr.

That's an INSANE level of hype right there.

So I seriously had to ask myself "What the actual f**k happened in the show that caused THIS much hype?!"

So... here are my thoughts on the season.

SPOILER WARNING

Okay, so this may be a factor of my judgement, but due to my schedule, I was forced to watch only 6 Episodes one day, and then the last 4 Episodes today. Keep that in mind.

When it came to the first half of the season, was it good?

Yes. Obviously.

Was it living up to the insane level of hype?

Uh... not really for me??

Now, don't take that as a negative. This season is still REALLY good.

After the first season took awhile to get started as it needed to set up its characters and this new world, it makes sense for this season to throw the punches immediately.

The season gets started with its main plot right away with Ras immediately putting his plan into action, and by Episode 2, it's very clear the threat level he opposes and it's believable that we should be intimidated by what he wants.

Even though in Episode 2's fight, while AMAZINGLY choreographed, I was just screaming at the screen "HIT THE PERSON HOLDING THE GONG."

Like seriously, more than one of the characters in this fight can use projectiles with their powers AND they have a blaster in the Bounty, and the show never says that Ras has some sort of armor defense preventing him from getting blasted. He's literally standing out in the open. And the gong is clearly what's giving Cinder power. So HIT THE PERSON WITH THE GONG.

GOSH.

Anyway, that's not important. What's important is that this season's fight choreo is genuinely AMAZING. I am obsessed with the way the camera moves with the characters in these fights you have no idea. I was genuinely blown away by the last episode's fight in particular. But more on the ending later.

What also shocked me was how BRUTAL some of the stuff that happens here is, which caught me off guard.

I mean, Episode 2 has Euphrasia getting ambushed and crashed off the Cloud Kingdom with clear injuries, and Wyldfyre getting her leg SHATTERED. Like, WHAT?! HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?!! (Even though the latter's healing was unrealistic. Like, it would realistically take months for an injury like that to heal. Not a critique, just saying.)

Ras body slams Jordanna at one point. He puts Arin in a CHOKEHOLD. And also beats him up so brutally... like OMG this guy does not mess around.

The Fear Cave Trial also REALLY got me tripping. Not only was it such a visually appealing moment, but it also, as the same suggests, showed several character psyches that were insane.

Except Kai for some reason. That's gonna drive me NUTS until I get an answer. WHAT DID HE SEE-?!

Then we get to the dragon mentors, and...

Yeah the season kinda loses me in the middle.

Don't get me wrong, I love the character bits here as much as anyone. But with how dyer they made the threat of Ras before, Ras and his forces take a backseat in the middle portion of the season and we're mostly just sitting at these training grounds talking. And for four episodes of it? It's a little grating, even if it is important.

The middle is mostly where most of my issues with the season stand. And here's where I get all my negatives out of the way:

Like I said, because this season is so long, there's an awkward pause in the conflict on the dragons plotline to learn this Rising Dragon Technique. Which I wouldn't mind if it wasn't FOUR EPISODES of it.

With the exception of the attack at the Land of Lost Things ONCE, Ras's army doesn't go after the ninja at all. I can kinda get the dragons group since they didn't have Bonzle, but he has to know that they ARE a threat, right? They're obviously trying to figure out how to stop you.

And even with the group that has Bonzle, what they NEED, the forces that go after that group is the Administration and the one off magician man villain, the former really didn't need to be in this season even if it was for a compelling Jay cameo, and the latter has overstayed his welcome at this point and I just rolled my eyes when he showed up on screen.

I'm all for Cole being a badass as much as the next guy, but WHY this magician man, who at this point, is so disconnected with the main antagonistic forces that he serves no purpose?

Why not, I don't know, use this screen time instead to explain what in the world happened with Cole when he left?

Seriously, the first season had this huge cliffhanger with Cole's character and him going after Wu's ghost. I wonder what's gonna happen to him and what he's gonna find out-

Oh. He's just back.

That to me is a huge disappointment. What was the point of him leaving the Lost Family in the first place if this journey was basically nothing? He doesn't even talk about it! COME ON NOW.

Also I think Zane should get slay pass on the Administration guy that called him equipment. What do y'all think?

I don't like Egot. Or whatever his name was. He's very condescending and cryptic and talks down to his only hope of the world being saved. But I think I'm supposed to dislike him for it, and there's gonna be more of his characterization revealed later, so don't take this one as a critique. The female one is great though.

The sorceress lady was... a choice in the narrative. My one critique for the ending was the potion shenanigans. Not because they were bad, but because they just felt so out of place among everything else. Like, "Oh, this finale is too dark and intense! We need to occasionally cut to wacky shenanigans with this sorceress's magic to prevent kids from feeling too much dread!"

I don't know, for me, I would've placed this stuff with the Administration instead, and instead have the group fight Jordanna, lose, and have her get away and flow that to Arin getting to her. Especially since the Administration posed such little threat to them and they even say such.

(I also have a theory that this sorceress is Wyldfyre's birth mom. I have no evidence to back this up besides "They both have red hair and similar facial structure")

With Cloud Kingdom getting taken over and Euphrasia captured, I thought she would have more of a role to play in this since this is, you know, her HOME and she's their guardian.

But nope. She does next to nothing up until the very end and plays prisoner and waits for the ninja to save her.

For gosh sake girl, you're the master of wind. FLY.

And finally, my last critique, Cinder.

Yeah I'm sorry, I'm not buying this character so far. Not that I don't think he'll have anything to do in the second part, but for how threatening he was in Episode 2, that threat level kinda vanishes in the middle and only comes back at the end. He does next to nothing and we learn nothing about him other than "He likes power". Jordanna is probably more unlikeable, but at least she has conflict going on with Ras and her magic, and she still serves more of a role in the plan besides being a foot soldier.

And... yep. That's all my critiques for this season. Which all seem pretty minor.

You know what this season is real good at? Characters.

As though that wasn't obvious already.

I did NOT expect Bonzle to play any major role at all, I thought she was just gonna be the dry and cynical side character. But no. She has a history. She has a life. She has emotions. All of which REALLY shine through at the end when you hear her voice have more range in it. The VA killed it. I ended up feeling so bad for her.

Especially considering what happens to her.

They're also not even hiding it anymore with Geo x Cole. They're just NOT. I love them and I hope we see more of their relationship in the future.

I genuinely don't understand the critique of "Geo is so selfish referring to him as Cole's family when it's obvious Cole has other people in his life."

Well no shit, you ever heard of a character flaw?

But it's also a completely understandable flaw. You guys aren't forgetting the part where Geo was abandoned for being a mixed race, right? Of course he's gonna cling to someone as compassionate and encouraging as Cole.

The Jay cameo was nice. I expect him to play no role in this season, but it's really compelling what they showed and I was satisfied with it.

Lloyd's conflict was handled very well in my opinion.

What's it called when it's PTSD, but it's about future events rather than past events? Foresight Traumatic Stress Disorder? FTSD? Yeah let's go with that.

For a kids show that glosses over trauma, (That's not a Ninjago problem, that's a kids show problem), it was really refreshing for them to not do that for once. It's actually explored and talked about and Lloyd is given advice on how to cope with it, and he freezes up in panic attacks when these visions happen and-THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR NOT IGNORING HOW HARD SOMETHING LIKE THIS IS.

Seriously, as someone who is going through stuff like this, minus the magic element, it spoke to me a lot. It really shows that this show grew up with me, and I both love and hate that.

I do think this sort of arc is going to hit hard for adults much more than kids.

Are kids constantly terrified of the future and getting paralyzed with these fears and finding it difficult to cope with the traumas that is time and human life?

No?

Kai is also a standout in this, especially towards the end. This is by far the best Kai has been in a long time in terms of quality. I love how one of his most significant flaws gets addressed here, that being his overreliance on himself and his own abilities over the others, who he feels responsible to protect.

And the way he grasps with that and learns to let loose like he did as a child back in the old days through what he loves the most, that being his family. And the flashbacks with him and his sister. And the whole sequence of him learning Rising Dragon - AUGH ITS SO GOOD.

How poetic is it that the character most devoted to family since childhood is only cocky and angry because of his own desire to be the one with power to keep them safe, gets power by letting that go, being a kid again, and joining the same roots as his own family?

AND THEN HE GIVES UP HIS LIFE FOR THEM-

And finally, Arin.

Oh you poor sweet, sweet child.

First of all, yes, I am completely subscribed to the theory that the show is building up Arin turning on the ninja and becoming a villain. It's all there. It all fits. The amount of times they say how sweet he is as though that's gonna get lost. The dragons, the creators of the world, the gods basically, telling him he's not good enough. Ras confronting him. Sora's stunt even after she's been the most encouraging of him, like the BETRAYAL there. It's all there. And I will be posting my theory scenario on this don't you worry.

BUT, I don't think that's the route they're gonna go. Kids show and all of that. They wouldn't do that to one of their main characters. Unless you're Star Wars. At most I think Arin will be tempted by Ras's master's power in an episode and even do it, but then with the power of love and friendship, it'll get fixed.

So instead I'd rather say that Arin, by far, has the BEST power crisis arc of the entire show so far.

I LOVE that he doesn't get powers. That's something the original show would've done. I LOVE that he doesn't figure anything out in the end and his inner doubts get proven correct. That's something the original show would not have the guts to do.

I liked Arin in the first season, but he didn't interest me too much. Mostly because Sora had the lion share of focus in the first season. Here though? He might just take the crown for THE most relatable character. And I both love and hate it so much.

Like, seeing everyone else succeed in mastery while you can't even figure out your own thing. You get told you have a natural talent and a lot of potential and that you're good at a lot of things, only for that to be put to the test in the real world and you end up letting everyone down. Even when your loved ones encourage you that you are good enough and you're special in your own way, you can't get those voices out of your head and you mess up again and again and again to try and meet the world's expectations. Then those in charge tell you you're not good enough and wasted potential. Then you try everything out in the real world anyway and you FAIL, and those that doubt you and your own insecurities get proven correct as you're left a broken mess of a young child who doesn't know what the hell they're doing-

I'M IN THIS SHOW AND I DON'T LIKE IT.

I probably love Sora more as a character, but I will admit I grasp towards Arin more right now. Sora's a great trans allegory in a world that hates trans people. But I'm not trans so I relate to it a bit less. Arin's a great autistic allegory in a world that doesn't know how to help autistic people. And I am autistic so I relate to it more. That's just a me situation.

I am so invested in where Arin's story goes from here. Evil or not.

So yeah, the season was good, but didn't completely live up to the insane hype, which, to be fair, is a high bar.

UNTIL THE LAST FOUR EPISODES.

And then all of a sudden, I AM SHOCKED AND SHAKEN TO MY CORE.

These last four episodes are an absolute emotional roller coaster that left me shaking and screaming the whole time.

I actually SCREAMED at multiple occasions.

I actually screamed so many times watching this that I am now HOARSE.

THAT'S how hard it hit me.

The story goes from 0 to 100 the moment the Blood Moon shows up. Which was what the whole season was building up to. And it did NOT disappoint.

The race to try and protect Bonzle. The intense visions and paralysis Lloyd suffers from. Ras and the army coming back to the plot to be absolute powerhouses. The last episode of DREAD the entire time to desperately try to stop this ritual.

HUMAN SACRIFICES?! AM I WATCHING A KIDS SHOW RIGHT NOW?!?!

I was begging for Arin to succeed at getting Bonzle to safety, even though I knew he stood no chance against Ras. "Come on Arin! You got this!! YOU GOT THIS, SWEETIE!!"

And then Ras just goes to TOWN on the poor boy and taunts his utter failure, which HURTS SO BAD MAN.

The entire fight with the army, Cinder, and Ras. The destruction of the mechs which knocks them unconscious for a bit. Kai figuring out Rising Dragon again when his family gets put in danger. The way Nya avenges her brother afterwards.

When Bonzle was getting morphed back into spell form, BEGGING, I was begging too.

But they still do it!

And KAI?!?!

I couldn't even process what happened other than me screaming. From the moment Ras alluded to sacrificing Kai against his consent, I was screaming "NO. DON'T DO IT."

AND THEN THEY SACRIFICE HIM.

LIKE HOLY GOSH THIS FINALE DID NOT MESS AROUND.

I predicted a while back, in the first season actually, that Kai was gonna get sacrificed at some point. Who's laughing now? I DID NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT.

Like, usually in Ninjago the character would be willing to sacrifice themselves for the others. But here? This is without Kai's consent at all. Ras might as well have killed him right here.

It definitely felt that way with the way the others react and BEG for his safety. The way Nya avenges him.

And Kai giving up his shot at escape for the sake of his family? BRO. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

It hurts even more when you realize that when the Merge happened, Lloyd was ALONE thinking only he survived. He only gained hope again because of his reunion with Kai. His beloved surrogate brother!

AND NOW HE'S GONE.

NYA AND LLOYD LOST THEIR BROTHER.

WYLDFYRE LOST HER SURROGATE FATHER.

THEY THINK HE'S BASICALLY DEAD.

BRO. THAT'S SOUL CRUSHING.

And then Sora?! Why you gotta betray Arin like that?!

The most encouraging friend towards Arin, the person who held onto hope and praises for him the most, betrays that hope and doesn't trust him enough to get the winning blow himself. Then LIES about it.

GIRL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

That's going to be SO compelling once that gets outed. Like, morally, that was messed up and she was definitely in the wrong, BUT it led to the best possible outcome for them at the moment. They WON because she did NOT believe in Arin's abilities. Which only proves that the doubts about Arin's said abilities are correct.

And I have a gut feeling she's gonna learn Spinjitsu on top of that. And once that happens... double ouch.

Again, Evil Arin Theory.

I really hate to say it, but this reminds way too much of Arcane. If you know what I'm talking about.

I am totally imagining a situation similar to that in my head, that being a rescue mission for Kai, they decide to leave Arin out of it because of the lack of faith in him, he tags along anyway and he ruins their plan and Kai stays trapped there, Lloyd and Sora lash out on him for it, and before they can apologize they get thrusted back by something and Ras and Ras's master find Arin and take him in-

Again, I'll make a post about that.

The finale was by far the best part of this season. It has been a long time since Ninjago has made me HOARSE from being too invested.

That has not happened to me since Sons of Garmadon.

Because, yeah, I actually have NO IDEA where any of this is headed. How are they gonna save Kai and Bonzle? Why did some of Lloyd's visions not come true? What in the world is going on with Ras? Will the Administration help with that? Will the source dragons help with that?

What I probably do know is that Part 2 of this season is going to turn this into the best Ninjago Product since Tournament of Elements. Maybe even top it depending on my rewatches if my problems are still problems.

So... yeah. Good or Nah? Good. Obviously.

The hype is a little overblown to me, but it still deserves the hype.

[zushikiss]

Searching for you!

⤷ scaramouche x fem!reader

Season 1, Episode 5 ─ a kiss worth remembering

8:17 pm, the same day

You and scaramouche park outside an expensive looking cafe, immediately you notice the lack of cars around, or lack of people in general, but before you could make a comment scaramouche already went outside to open the door for you, smiling as you thanked him he only nodded in acknowledgement before starting to make his way to the cafe.

"That's weird, there's not a lot of people around.."

"Yeah, I rented the whole place out for us."

"What? why??"

"Well I didn't want anyone to bother us, plus having paparazzis around for the first date isn't ideal now, is it?"

You could only shut your mouth as you felt a smile tug on your lips, he opened the door for you before he took you to one of the booths, soon enough a waiter took your order.

"I'll have a [your dessert and drink of choice]"

"I'll have a slice of your blueberry cheesecake and a caffè americano."

You giggled at how ironic his order is, now that you look at it, his hair kinda looks like a blueberry.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, just kinda ironic that you ordered a blueberry cheesecake when you kinda look like one."

"Oh yeah?, well you look like a blueberry too."

Before you could retaliate the waiter was already placing the desserts on your desk, however the indigo haired man sitting in front of you wanted to say something else, 'you remind me of a blueberry since they're my favorite..' , however he couldn't find the strength to say those words out loud.

Once the both of you were finished eating he decided to bring you somewhere else, and in a matter of minutes you were parked near a dark and secluded playground, stepping out of his car you excitedly ran over to the swings.

"Come here Scaramouche! Push me."

"You know you can call me a nickname, right? Scara's a bit too long."

"Oh, then what would you want me to call you?"

"Can i tell you something?"

"Sure.. Go ahead."

He started to tell you about his real name, kunikuzushi, his strict mother who wanted him to take over her company, he told you about the betrayals that he experienced, though it was a bit shocking to have him open up, you were glad he felt comfortable enough with you to do so, little did you know that the feeling was mutual.

He didn't quite know why he was telling you this, there were members from his band that he'd known for several years yet they don't know any of this, he can't explain it but he feels at ease with you, exactly why he started to look for you after your eventful kiss the other night.

He felt comfortable with you around, you brought him peace, something he could only find with music, that was it! He felt the same way with you as he did with music.

The same thing that led to his and his mother's arguments, but if you were to be the start of an argument between him and his mother then he would defend you until the end, there's some things that he just can't explain and you're one of them, or rather he can't explain why he feels at peace with you around, but rather than trying to figure out why he feels like this he'd rather just bask in the happiness he currently feels, after all he of all people should know how nothing is permanent, however he wishes for you to stay by his side, even though you haven't been around for very long.

The both of you sit on the swings in a comfortable silence, he stares at you as the moonlight highlights your features, this is the first time he's seen you clearly and he wishes for this scenery to be forever engraved in his mind, as a matter of fact, he thinks it already is.

The both of you started walking back to the car since it was already getting cold and he didn't wanna drive you home so late.

"Can I kiss you?"

He blurts out, his straightforwardness catches you off guard, when he realizes his own words, or rather when he realizes how quiet you've been he immediately attempts to take back his statement.

"Nevermind, i'm sorry, I don't know what that was ab-"

"Yes you can."

And he looks at you before his own body moves on its own accord, he moves nearer to you, your back hitting the back of his car as he looks at you once more as if to ask if you're sure and you nod, his hand travels to your cheeks, cupping your face before his lips finally meet yours, you could still taste the blueberry cheesecake he had earlier, his lips are soft and he smells amazing, when you pull away he does the same to catch his breath, his forehead resting on yours while his hands stayed still, he pulls you in for another kiss, though he stopped when his lips were a centimeter away from yours, he was waiting for you to close the gap and you did, his hands lowered to your waist as he pulled you closer, and once the both of you finally pulled away for the second time he nudged your head to rest on your chest, he did this so he can hide how flustered he is and just to feel your warmness for a bit more.

"Ready to go home?"

"Yeah.."

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notes ; surprise! LMFAOOO this is definitely how i planned this and stuff but its fine, also a little self promo maybe, i have another smau! i haven't started it yet but yk maybe if you wanna check it out 👀 its a modern!au and also actor!scara and a sprinkle of ceo!scara so hehe, here's the link :))

sypnosis ; after attending your favorite band's concert and after party, you decide to drink your heart out, and when you finally sober up, you're left with a "call me" note, thousands of messages of your best friend yelling at you to wake up, a hangover, and allegations to beat, yesterday, you were a normal fan who admired 6reeze, and now you apparently stole a kiss from one of the members, what do you do when you find it he's searching for you?

taglist ; @llghtsnoww @justawalkingdisaster @sakiimeo @cynzcir @dollpoetwriting @vvivietteq @plinkuro @xiaosoneandonly @kunicrush @belovedxiao @raideneiari @samtheweirdhuman @maehemthemisfit @sakurapeach @yoshikuno @shinjimouche @ferumie @beriiov @fujimoribaby @samyayaya @cookichuu @eimuros @lovelyiez @ieathairs @ajaxkinnie @elfxiao @kazuhacumslut 1/3 (bold means i can't tag you)

taglist status ; [ closed ], send an ask to be removed

[swanpyart]

INSIDE JOB PART 2 Spoilers: Ron and Reagan

Honestly, I feel like people are a bit too hard on Ron in the finale. I feel like his feelings about not wanting to be involved with the Shadow Governments are perfectly reasonable and, if Reagan weren't so attached to her colleagues and Brett, and wasn't as ambitious in her career path, she would have immediately gone with him.

I don't think Reagan or Ron is wrong for their feelings. That's kind of the point: they care about each other but ultimately have different priorities. And, also, they're both clearly traumatized from their own experiences and trying to work it out in different ways.

Like, Ron is clearly self-destructive and pushes people away when he feels he's unable to connect with them. I think that's part of why Brett initially disliked him; Ron has little drive to appeal to others and is perpetually disconnected because of his own trauma. Brett starts to like him when he becomes more sincere in his approach. Not to mention, he's low-key kind of suicidal; he doesn't seem to want to die, but his obsession with memories seems to stem from his intense guilt. He was raised Catholic and clearly harbors intense shame for his entire life, and has spent his entire career doing awful shit, so he feels weighed down by his own brain and his own existence. The way he describes his experience drinking an entire vat of memory-erasing fluid sounds like he's describing a suicide attempt to Reagan. In the end, the only way Ron was able to free himself from his perpetual guilt is to forget it all, and he just assumed the same for Reagan, by assuming that this guilt was something they had in common. And he's not ENTIRELY wrong; Reagan has expressed countless times how much she's hated her job and her coworkers, so, naturally, he assumed she'd be excited to run away from it all with him.

Reagan, is not like that at all, though. She is constantly curious, determined, and angry. She doesn't resign herself to sit back and let the world burn, she wants to DO something. And erasing all of her memories would serve no purpose to her, because she prioritizes her own autonomy and mind, and her connections to others as above her own sense of peace. (plus, Rand has erased her memories before, and she probably doesn't want to go through that again). To Ron, ignorance is bliss and truth has caused him great pain, but to Reagan, ignorance blinds her to the truth of the world. It blinded her to how awful her father was, of how to open up to others, and how to accept the unfairness of the world.

Besides, and this might be a hot take, Ron is ABSOLUTELY correct when he says Reagan should quit her job. Every episode shows that Cognito is basically a zoo full of insane, awful people, Reagan has had to deal with monsters of all kinds, has nearly died on several occasions, and her coworkers are all assholes (even if they do care for her deep down). Remember, Ron hasn't seen everything we've seen of the company, and from his reactions, it seems the Cognito is WAY more dysfunctional than the Illuminati, meaning that Reagan is in even more danger. I mean, a halloween party culminated in everyone getting contaminated with a virus in which everyone wants to be his friend (and as someone with social anxiety, that is my worst nightmare). Ron even says that every time they get together in public they nearly die.

And you might say, "well, why doesn't Ron just quit and let Reagan work?" Even if he did, he'd have to live with the constant fear of his girlfriend/potential wife possibly dying from whatever horrific event is happening at her job that day, and their relationship (as shown in the alternate timelines) would eventually deteriorate, because its extremely difficult to control the entire world and lead a fulfilling romantic life at the same time. Even in Part 1, Bear-O said that her job at Cognito makes her life more difficult. Ron's whole Appleton plan would start them off with a clean slate.

A clean slate isn't what Reagan wants. She would lose all that she's worked for, and she would never give that up. In the end, they both lost what they wanted (each other) and got what they needed (Ron gets peace, and Reagan gets her means to make actual change).

If anything, I feel that Reagan and Ron's relationship, in some ways, is a direct parallel to Rand and Tamiko's relationship. Both Rand and Reagan want to rule the world, but they have someone they love who simply can't accept it and continue as if nothing is wrong. The difference between Rand and Reagan is that, while Rand insists that he can have both the entire world and the validation of this one person, Reagan knows she can't have both and lets Ron go, because she loves him.

[imagine-darksiders]

Can I ask how Ulthane/Jones would handle a human in the tree that’s stopped eating and drinking due to either a depressive episode. Or thinking that they might be a burden on the group, and doesn’t feel like they deserve to be taking food from the other humans in the tree?

You certainly can! Thank you for this xxx

Ulthane:

This maker is often frustratingly good at keeping a watchful eye on each human in his tree. It is very difficult to hide things from him. Of course, it was expected that his charges would start to lose weight after the Apocalypse, given the stress they're under and the general shortage of unspoiled food.

Ulthane takes it upon himself to make sure everyone has enough to eat, even if he has to start travelling further afield to find food.

What he doesn't expect, however, is for one of his humans - you - to suddenly collapse one day and struggle to pick yourself up off the ground before he rushes to your side, demanding to know if you're hurt.

You try to push his concern aside, but after he stands you on your own two feet and you immediately topple sideways, he starts to get suspicious. You're reluctant to fess up, and it isn't until his thumb presses into the thick padding of your coat that he realises what's wrong.

Weakly, you protest as he all but tears the coat open and sweeps a - thankfully warm - forefinger beneath your shirt to feel over the very pronounced ribs that have until now remained hidden by several layers of fabric.

You know you're in trouble by the crevice that grows between the giant's bushy eyebrows, not to mention the heat-wrenched look he shoots down at you.

It's the other humans that confirm his fears.

Several come forward, scolding and worried.

'You told me you were full, and gave me your sandwich!'

'You said you'd already eaten and had leftovers to give me!'

Turns out, you've been splitting your rations among the others little by little, burdened by grief and the guilt of not contributing as much as you think you should to the other survivors.

Aghast, borderline furious, Ulthane chews you out for endangering your life in some misguided notion that you need to earn your place in the Tree.

He's the one taking care of you, he's responsible for you - responsible for keeping you alive.

Inwardly, Ulthane's heart jack-hammers at the thought that even now, he's failing the people he already ushered towards their doom.

But besides the point, you've been contributing! Stone's Breath, you help in any way you can, whether that be cleaning the living quarters, helping distribute meals to your fellow humans, telling jokes to make them smile in their darker moments...

'Can I help?' is a phrase he hears from you on a daily basis.

He's not going to let you kill yourself for thinking you're a burden. Because you're wrong.

And you thought Ulthane was overbearing before.

Every morning, afternoon and night, he tracks you down in the tree with a fistful of your rations. He tells the others not to take food from you, no matter what you say, and waits until he's certain you've eaten every last bite.

Worse still is his insistence upon checking your weight. He's threatened to hold you down and just look at your waist himself if you don't let him of your own volition. Extreme, perhaps, but you've done something not a lot of beings can claim they have.

You frightened the Black Hammer.

Though his tone is gruff when he reprimands you for not eating, you can always hear that undeniable thickness at the back of his throat, born from the worry that he came so close to losing someone he's hellbent on protecting.

Jones:

Jones almost had an aneurism when he learned you've been skipping meals.

Even with the heightened senses of a Horseman - albeit a disguised Horseman - he only realised you were doing it after he caught you sneaking your daily share back into the supply crate one night.

He wasted no time in cornering you about it. He just... couldn't understand why any human in their right mind would put food back.

You told him you weren't hungry, but at that moment, your stomach gave a loud, painful gurgle that nearly had you doubling over in pain.

"You're not hungry..." he echoed, a haunted look in his deep, brown eyes, "You're damn-near starving."

His suspicions were correct. The supplies never added up at the end of every audit. There was always extra for the next day, but nobody complained because more food is more food.

Now though, the Horseman realises this was a gift horse who's mouth he should have looked into.

Jones is a little... protective of his 'fellow' humans.

Rather embarrassingly, you are... well. Elanya has pointed out on several occasions that Jones has a soft spot for you.

You'd always find time to laugh at his poor jokes, or check up on him if he ever came in from a supply run and got growled at by Ulthane for sneaking out of the tree. You're heart is so laden with grief, but you're loathe to let your stiff upper lip droop around the others at the risk of stealing their cheer, even though they're in the same boat.

He can... relate. To that, at least.

You're not about to starve yourself for lack of hope, he won't allow it.

Jones has been doubly careful to make it seem that he takes his own fair share of rations, often smuggling it from the tree, only to return later and simply add it to the rest of the night's haul.

You however, don't leave the tree, though not for lack of trying. Jones is sharp-eyed, and usually heads off any attempts for you or the other humans to try and escape to help him gather supplies.

Immediately after he realises you're nearly starving, he keeps it quiet, by your insistence. You're already burden enough, you don't want to give the others cause to worry about you. Jones scoffs at your words, but gently promises this will stay between you and he, on the condition that you promise to eat.

Even if he has to force food down your throat, he'll get you eating again... Saving a life is sometimes more important than maintaining a friendship, and if you end up hating him for holding your chin and pressing dried crackers past your lips until you swallow, well... so be it.

Alongside getting your weight back up, Jones makes sure to give you some tasks to occupy your mind. Things like maintaining the guns other humans have scrounged up, counting out ammunition, trading stories and jokes with him... just little tasks that add up to help you feel that you're giving more to the tree, even if your survival is payment enough.