#so if i had not looked at that ingredient label and started feeding him this

[greyias]

🙃

Purina apparently discontinued and then reformulated the only canned food I've found so far that Griffin's extraordinarily sensitive tummy can tolerate, adding one of his potential worst allergens to nearly the top of the formulation list. I have sent a Karen-like e-mail to Purina, and am now having to have five million tabs open on different pet food websites to put the ingredient lists of everything under a microscope to try and find something remotely close.

[wooahaes]

down memory lane

pairing: non-idol!jun x fem!reader

genre: fluff.

warnings: reader and jun are sharing chocolates throughout fic. reader + jun have a cat <3

word count: 1.2k~

daisy's notes: gourmet chocolates..... i luv u

“I’m home!”

You didn’t move from your spot on the couch, curled up with one of the books that Wonwoo had bought for you. This year, for your birthday, you had a little celebration a few days before with your boyfriend and a few of your friends (which was mainly your book club, which included Wonwoo). Drinks were had, cake was eaten, gifts were given, and it left you to enjoy the day-of your boyfriend peacefully. You had already taken off work to enjoy the day mostly on your own while Jun was at work. He’d promised to pick up ingredients for a special dinner, insisting on doing it on his way home from work rather than delay it by coming home for you. Which, to be fair, wasn’t a problem at all. It meant that you could stay home with a book and your cat (a little white fluff ball that Jun fell in love with when you both saw her at the shelter).

“Welcome home,” you called back, shifting. The cat jumped onto the floor, her little jingle bell ringing as she rushed over to fuss at Jun. Most days, he would stop to pay attention to her, but you could hear the rustling of paper bags as he toted them into the kitchen. 

A minute or so later, you felt Jun’s hands on your cheeks as he leaned down to give you a kiss on the forehead. “Did you have a good day?”

You craned your neck back to get a better look at him, smiling. “I did, yeah. Did you?”

“It’s better now.” He always had the softest look in his eyes whenever he looked at you. Yet all too soon, he had stepped away with you, that familiar jingling following after him. “Are you hungry? Or do you want a snack?”

You slid your bookmark into your book, setting it aside as you turned to watch Jun as he made his way to the kitchen. “What kind of snack?”

Jun hid something behind his back as he made his way back to you. “I bought two,” he said, sinking down onto the couch, “just so you’d have extra for yourself. But…” He held out two boxes of chocolates from some fancy place the two of you had visited once months ago. You’d sampled the chocolates together and gushed over how delicious they were. “I got a few custom boxes for you.”

“Junnie…” You pouted at him as you accepted the boxes. How could one man be so sweet…? “Thank you.”

“Happy birthday,” he said softly. “There’s a lot, so—”

“So I can share with you.” You’d already started opening one of the boxes. There were an assortment of eight flavors, all labeled, with three of each kind inside the box. How expensive were these…? The tiniest bit of guilt bubbled up inside of you, but you met Jun’s gaze after a moment. “Feed them to me?”

He smiled, turning his face away for a moment as his cheeks grew redder. “If you want.”

You picked up the first one, a marshmallow-filled chocolate, to hold up to him. “Jun?”

He faced you with a soft hum, only for his eyes to widen for a moment as he realized what you’d been planning. You had said that you wanted to share with him, and you’d fully meant it. He leaned forward, hand raising to steady your own as he took a bite from it. For a moment, his eyes fluttered shut as he chewed before swallowing. Then he reached for another from the box, holding it up for you to eat.

“It’s silly,” he said, “but… I picked these out for a reason.”

You ate the chocolate in one bite, a hand cupping the space in front of your mouth just in case. “Hm?”

“Do you remember that time we went camping with my friends?” He toyed with the piece of paper that once held the chocolate. “You brought along marshmallows to toast with us.”

Your cheeks began burning. Apparently, s’mores were pretty damn uncommon outside of the United States… But you’d made it work with digestive cookies you’d found at the store. Jun had been endeared to your flustered expression as you tried to explain it to him and his friends (and, yes, one mister Joshua Hong knew exactly what you were talking about… and still let you flounder).

“That was mortifying.”

“It was cute!” Jun giggled. “You were so cute about it.” He picked up another chocolate, one of the salted caramel ones. “I liked watching you bicker with Joshua afterward, too.”

Averting your gaze, you took a bite when Jun offered it to you. Then your eyes flickered back to him, widening as the salty sweetness of rich caramel melted over your tongue. All too quickly, you picked one up to offer to him, letting him take a bite as well.

It was while he was chewing that you spoke up, “Is this… from the beach we went to?”

Not just any beach: the beach Jun confessed to you on. So many of his early days with you had something to do with his friends, and that time had been no different. The two of you, plus Joshua, Minghao, and Joshua’s partner, had ended up renting a beach house for a few days. Jun had managed to convince the others to let you take the room with the single bed, leaving him to room with Minghao instead. Yet he’d found you one night, after the others had dispersed for the night, gathering a few things so you could comfortably go for a walk on the beach. A flashlight in case you needed it, a bottle of water, your phone and keys…

“Can I come?” He’d asked you. You had looked up from the little bag you’d been putting together. “You don’t have to—”

“I’d like that.” 

That night, he’d walked with you, talking about life. About everything that led the two of you to this point. His hand had brushed against yours a few times, always a little too shy to outright go for it. He’d finally broached the subject and saw the way you stopped, staring at him.

“You… You like me back?”

(It’d been Minghao who noticed his absence and texted him: Tell her already. She likes you, too.)

As he finished off the piece of chocolate, you squeezed your eyes shut, groaning a little. “It is, isn’t it?” And then you cupped his face. “That was so embarrassing…”

“It wasn’t!” He chuckled. “It was cute. You were so nervous…”

And he was, too, to be fair. He just giggled, looking over the other flavors. Now that he was really looking at them, all of them had some sort of silly story he could spin. The milk chocolate truffles reminded him of the time you taught him how to make a hot cocoa bomb, and the chocolate you kissed off of his lips. White chocolate, because it reminded him of the way you would get excited when you saw a place had white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. All little things he was happy to recount to you while the two of you snacked on your chocolates.

Once the box was set aside, Jun leaned in, lips pressing against your own. He could still taste chocolate on them, and he smiled against them before he drew back a moment later. He cupped your cheek, kissing your forehead one more time. “Happy birthday,” he said, eyes twinkling as he gazed at you. 

Next year, he’d use the new memories you created together to turn into a gift. And he hoped to reminisce with you again, ending it all with as many kisses as you wanted.

taglist: taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo

[miscfandomwrites]

A/N: Based off a prompt of two people who don't work well together being forced to make breakfast together, expect one of them fucks something up. Also, I made some characters have food allergies. Because I can and it helps make them more relatable in my opinion. Anywho, I can make more of this if y'all like.

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Reader (tried to keep it non-discript as possible)

Warnings: langauge

Words: 700ish

Tagging: @tyler-t0t

~

“You’ve never learned how to cook?” 

“Well, I have, I just don’t mess with hot things or knives or anything that might damage my hands.” 

“Well, that’s a bit vain, but considering your job is messing with someone's very delicate brain, I think you can get a pass. This time.” 

“Oh, this time, huh? Thanks, I guess.” 

I grinned at him. “C’mon, it’s our turn to make breakfast today, we’re gonna go all out so I can show you how to cook.” 

I grabbed a pair of aprons from the side of the fridge, tossing one to him. “I’ll do prep and you can make everything, should be simple.”

I asked FRIDAY to open up a digital whiteboard, and jotted down the ideas I had for breakfast: 

Banana Bread (2 loaves)

Pancakes with and without blueberries

Quiche (3)

Breakfast potatoes (two sheets)

Scrambled eggs

Bacon

Breakfast sausage

Sourdough bread

“That doesn’t look ‘Simple to me’ “ Strange remarked, eyes widening at the list as he finished tying his apron. 

“This is nothing, I used to work in a summer camp kitchen. Besides, we’re feeding several super soldiers, a couple gods, and several others.” I told him as FRIDAY helped make the lists of everything I’d need, and thankfully I had woken up early to feed and start the sourdough bread so it’d be ready to put into the oven in about half an hour. 

Putting on some 2010 hits from when I was a bit younger, I started pulling out ingredients while Stephen got the bowls, pots, and pans ready for it. 

I quickly diced and chopped a variety of vegetables and prepped some quiche in some pre-crusted pans that I pulled from the freezer, popping them into the first oven while I monitored Stephen making the banana bread. 

“Is this literally it? No seasonings or add-ins?” He questioned as he poured the first bread mix into the greased pan. 

“I mean, you can add like cinnamon and nutmeg and stuff but Clint has a nut allergy so I don’t, and last week we found out Loki is allergic to cinnamon, so.” I told him as I parboiled some potatoes. 

He paused at that and turned to me, confused. “A god from another planet has an allergy?” 

“Yeah, not surprising if you think about it for a bit. Took me a little bit to think about it as well.” I replied, taking a sip of my coffee as I used a fork to poke a potato. 

He narrowed his eyes and stared off into space for a bit, something I usually did when I was trying to figure out something in my head. 

“I mean, he is from another planet after all, and I don’t suppose they have the same spices as we do, so that leaves a whole world of possibilities open for them.” He said slowly after a moment. 

I nodded, taking the potatoes off the heat and straining them into the colander in the sink. 

“Peter is allergic to food dyes. Which is why he’s in the kitchen so often making his own candy with his friends.” 

“So that explains the large jar of sugar on the counter then.” he motioned to it as he put the bowl and measuring spoons into the sink. 

“Oh that? I think it’s citric acid, but I’d ask him at breakfast before you go putting it into anything.” 

He stopped for a moment and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, making me pause. 

“You put that into the banana bread, didn’t you?” 

“It looked like sugar! What else was I supposed to use?” He yelled at me. 

“I don’t know! Maybe the jar on the left of the sink with the label Plain Sugar on it!” I yelled back, heading over to the fruit bowl and yanking the rest of the bananas from it. 

“It’s fine, we’ll just keep them in the kitchen and hopefully no one will notice.” 

~ One hour later ~

Everyone had started coming from their various morning routines and piled into the kitchen, grabbing bowls of food and taking it into the dining room as I got the hot pitchers ready with both regular and decaf coffee, and pulling out the pitches of various juices and iced coffee, carrying them into the room as well. 

As we finally all sat down, I explained how Stephen helped make breakfast and pointed towards the banana bread, and soon enough everyone had a slice. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!?” came from Bucky, spitting out the slice on his plate. “WHY IS IT SOUR?” 

Welp, looks like people noticed.

[fitnessgroupsllc]

Cat Food Facts You Must Be Conscious Of

As I started exploring articles about cat food , I discovered several with authoritative paperwork and some with personal opinions. I personally wanted to learn what is the far better give our mature cat. He has been on dried food since start with high priced snacks and occasionally a couple of bits of beef - dining table scraps - of prepared chicken, beef, tuna, salmon or pork. This may not need been the most correct choice.

Our cat Simba, is purely an خرید کنسرو گربه . He's always had health and has a beautiful, shiny, smooth, lemon tabby coat. He's beginning sickness a little bit, which seems to be unprocessed dried food or sweets, and occasionally hair balls. I'll leave the hairballs for yet another article. In this article I can look at cat food options. I decided to discover what sort of cat food we should get for him or if your dietary modify is needed.

I think, it usually the 'cost' that pushes the consumer's choice on which cat food to buy, although our cats are very valuable to us. I believe we wish the most effective food we are able to afford to offer our pet, and what is most readily useful for him. In evaluating the issue, I think that 'costs' could be examined in two ways.

First, we are able to get the very best from the food store. Much of our decision might be on the basis of the advertising we hear or predict the press, and sometimes from the friend. It is often that individuals are in the store, cat food is on our list, our variety is for sale, it says it's 'natural' or various other persuasive word on the label, and we stick it in our wagon with small thought to read the element list. In the home, our cat wants it whenever we supply him the selected food , so we believe we've created an excellent choice.

2nd, we can do plenty of research, decide to go to a dog keep or produce a purchase online for a good quality, large protein cat food , and know from what we have read that it is an excellent decision, and 'cost' didn't really become the deciding factor. Our cat's health turned the more important issue.

Some cat homeowners are most likely a little on both parties when selecting the cat food ; I understand I am. Cost is very important, but the grade of health our cat loves can also be very important. We enjoy ruining our cats, and our cats love to be pampered, therefore occasionally we complement our cat's food with cat treats. Spoiling our cats with sweets may not be an excellent decision either. He may want more because he's maybe not nutritionally content with the cat food we give him. How do we produce the best decision?

Much like ourselves, we feel better once we consume greater, and therefore can our cats. I'd like to shortly give you some information I discovered it posts that I researched.

1. Full meats such as for instance chicken, beef, lamb, salmon, etc. vs. cat food with 'meal', 'by-products', 'animal digest', and added sugars. Examination: Whole meat is best, as you may know. In the event that you genuinely wish to understand what switches into some cheap dog food , and your stomach can stay the info, make an effort to read about any of it on the web. Lots of the services and products placed into pet ingredients should not be consumed by any living point, and they are items are placed into puppy food by several large puppy food companies.

2. Wheat centered vs. grain free cat food : Evaluation: Cats do not require grains. Many cereals are employed a additives in processed cat food and as presenting agents in dried cat food. Some manufactures genuinely believe that cereals may add protein material, which it does, but cats need meat protein, maybe not feed proteins. Some cats could also develop allergies to wheat or corn when included for their food.

3. Cat food with veggies and fruits: Evaluation: Usually you are able to notice that vegetables, such as for example peas or corn, get right by way of a cat's digestive tract without being prepared in the intestines. Cats process meat meats, although not vegetables or fruits.

4. Dry cat food vs. Canned/moist cat food : Evaluation: Dried cat food isn't natural. It's carbohydrates for additives, such as for example grains, to hold it together. The label may possibly indicate that it has high protein material but all the protein is wheat or dairy protein, maybe not beef protein. Don't, however, believe refined cat food is the only real answer because it may also contain fillers including cereals, dinner, by-products, dairy, etc. A few posts recommended that a combination of dried and processed may be the most useful for your cat.

5. Natural meat vs. high-protein canned cat food : Examination: I never felt this matter was entirely resolved. It has much to do with the patient cat and his owner. Canned food is far more convenient and has a longer corner life, and should be kept cooled following it is open. Fresh food requires more planning and has a shorter refrigerated corner life. You can read discussions with this issue on many cat forums.

6. Grocery store cat food vs. pet store or on the web high quality cat food : Examination: I believe that individuals can all arrive at in conclusion that a high protein from beef is the greater decision, and that item could possibly most readily useful be purchased at a dog store (which also hold the supermarket brands), or online.

In summary, here are a few ultimate thoughts.

* Even believed the price is higher with a better quality cat food , your cat will eat less as it is just a greater protein and he is nutritionally satisfied. He won't eat just as much, and he will soon be less inclined to build liver and other diseases. You, thus, can have less costly veterinarian costs, and a happier, healthiest cat.

* Study labels, do research (other than asking buddies and listening to or reading ads), and become an educated consumer. Choose the cat food you're feeling is better for your cat.

* Contemplate the age of your cat. A kitten shouldn't consume the exact same cat food as your mature cat. The brands may suggest on the tag which food is most beneficial for your age of cat.

* Add any dietary improvements slowly, probably over the length of weekly or so.

* Study the web, read books, or speak with your vet in order to choose which cat food is best.

All cat meals aren't the same. Your cat's preferences may possibly like some models or foods much better than others. Buying the cat food you are feeling is better will give you reassurance by providing him the very best cat food you are able, and he'll feel better and more satisfied as he changes to his new diet.

[xoxo-teddybear]

She’s Baby - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Cursing, fluff, crack

Summary: On a mission, Y/N gets hit with a quirk. Basically, she returns back to being a baby. And obviously, her boyfriend is left to take care of her.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: Y/N has the Cheshire quirk I mentioned in another post. The main thing you’ll need to know is that she can teleport and she can shape shift into any feline creature.

“......What am I looking at right now?”

Bakugou stared down at the small child being held by Kirishima. She oddly resembled his own girlfriend, with the same E/C eyes and H/C hair. Kirishima stood nervously as he let out a chuckle while sweat dripped down his face.

“Uhh..this is your girlfriend Bakugou. Some things happened on the job with Fat Gum and now Y/N’s a baby,” Kirishima explained. It took a second to process but once Bakugou finally got it, he started cackling. He bursted out laughing with tears streaming down his face. He went to pull out his phone and took a picture of your baby form, which was currently chewing on her foot through her pink onesie.

“Hehe, cute.” He whispered to himself as he looked at the photo.

“Ehem, anyways. Considering you’re in a relationship with Y/N, we decided to have you be her caretaker until she returns back to normal, which should be in just a few hours.” At his teacher’s words, Bakugou’s eyes popped.

“What?! Do I look like some damn babysitter to you?!” The blonde screamed.

“No, you look like her boyfriend. So man up and deal with her!” Kirishima said as he shoved you into your boyfriend’s arms and shut his dorm room door. Bakugou grunted and sighed before he looked down at baby you in his arms, he softly smiled down at your cute form that was cooing at him and reaching for his face.

“If our future kids look anything like you, they’re gonna be cute as fuck.” He said as he tickled your tummy.

—

After a few hours of having baby Y/N in his dorm room, Bakugou thought it’d be a good idea to get you both some food. A healthy meal made by the Japanese Gordon Ramsey himself should suffice.

Bakugou walked out of his room with you, not in his arms, but you standing on his shoulder, tugging on his blonde locks. Your baby form apparently loved high perches, which made sense due to your quirk being cat-related. As the two of you made it to the common rooms, the students of class 1-A took notice of the oh-so casual Bakugou that held a baby-you atop of his head.

“Uhh, Bakugou? You have a baby on your head.” Kaminari mentioned from the couch.

“I’m aware, Dunce Face.” Bakugou said as he entered the kitchen. “It’s just Y/N. She got hit with a quirk and now she’s like this.”

“Ohh, she’s so cute!” Mina said as she walked up to you two and took you away from Bakugou.

“Hey! Give her back!” Bakugou said as he reached for you. Mina moved back to dodge his attempt and succeeded.

“No! I wanna hold her! You’ve been with her all day!” Mina argued.

“Because Mr. Aizawa told me I had to take care of her!” Bakugou replied.

“Well if you don’t want to then I’ll happily do it!” Mina said.

“No! She’s my girlfriend so give her back!” Bakugou said, finally successfully getting a hold on you.

“She’s my best friend so let me have her!” Mina said as she jumped on Bakugou. Unfortunately, they both fell to the floor and landed next to each other on their backs. As he fell, you flew out of Bakugou’s grip and everybody looked to your falling baby form and gasped. “Oh no!”

Before you landed, your body teleported next to Bakugou. Your boyfriend looked at you in shock before grabbing onto you. “Shit! You scared me, Y/N.”

“Woah! She can still use her quirk?” Sero said as he walked to you three.

“I guess,” Bakugou replied.

“You guess?!” Mina said. “So she could’ve fallen and you weren’t gonna do a thing about it?!”

“It all happened so fast, okay?! And besides, I didn’t see your dumbass doing anything!” He argued as he held you against his chest.

“Because I was on the floor!” Mina argued.

“And that was your fucking fault!” The blonde said before he got up. He perched you on his hip as he grabbed ingredients to make a simple dish. He began cooking while still holding onto you and while some students offered to hold you so that he could focus on the meal, he only growled at everyone’s attempt to take you away from him. He refused to let anyone but him hold you after that almost falling fiasco.

—

Finally, it was time to feed you! Unfortunately everything Bakugou made wasn’t to your liking. Udon? No. Tamago Sushi? No. Curry? No. Oyakodon? Nope! Eventually he gave up and brought you to the supermarket so you could pick out some baby food. While you looked for food, your boyfriend couldn’t help but notice the stares he was getting.

‘These damn idiots must think I’m her daddy or something....well in a way I guess they’re right,’ the hormonal teen joked to himself ‘but I’m not no damn teen father!’ Bakugou went back to searching for something for you to eat and gagged as he looked at all the jars of mush.

‘Peas and Carrots. Spinach. Chicken and Rice. Gross. Who would feed a baby this shit?’ He thought. He held you in his arms as he watched you reach for a red-ish, pink paste in a jar. You smiled as you held it up to him while he read the label. “Dragonfruit and Chia Seeds..doesn’t sound half bad. Alright brat, let’s go,”

—

Back at the dorms, Bakugou set you in the common room couch. He would’ve put you in the kitchen, but there were no booster seats and that put you at a safety risk. The couch was the next best thing. Low to the ground, soft cushions, and you would have a carpeted fall if an instance were to happen.

While you got comfy on the couch, Bakugou took a seat infront of you on the coffee table. He pulled out the small jar of food along with a baby spoon and that’s when his group of friends walked in.

“Hey man! Whatchu’ doing with lil Y/N?” Kirishima asked as he hunched over the couch to allow you to play with his hands.

“Just feeding the brat,” Bakugou said as he opened the jar. “C’mon Teddy Bear, you gotta eat.”

Kaminari snickered at the pet name. “You’re still calling her ‘Teddy Bear?’”

“Yeah? She’s still my girlfriend dunce face!” The ash blonde said waving the spoon around. “She’s just, in a different body.”

“Yeah, a baby body,” Mina teased with a laugh. The Bakusquad (minus Bakugou) all laughed with her.

“Well at least I’m not calling her ‘babe’ or anything like that!” He reacted fiercely. “Whatever, Y/N, just eat the food.”

You looked at the spoonful of mush that your boyfriend was offering you and after staring at it for a hot minute, you smacked it out of your face. The scoop of food landed against the wall making a splat sound. The group of teens all looked at you in shock as you just laughed and clapped your hands together in excitement.

Bakugou was getting irked as he knew what was coming. But there’s no way, right? This kind of stuff only happened in TV. Right?

—

He was wrong. The jar was empty, but Y/N wasn’t full of any food. She had flung spoonfuls of dragonfruit on the walls, the ceiling, the floors, and the Bakusquad. You were the only thing in the room that was clean. The group of friends all stood covered in pinkish blotches as they circled you. They now all had a spoon that held the last bits of food. They were going to feed you. No matter what it took.

“Go!” Sero screamed and the friends all jumped into action. Kirishima dove in first but you teleported out of the way. He spilled his spoon as he hit the ground. When you reappeared, you looked to your left and saw Kaminari standing there. He smirked down at you with a crazed grin and when he tried to grab you, you transformed into a little kitten and knocked the spoon out of his hand, dropping its contents. You transformed back into your baby state and there, you met Sero. Not because he was standing there, but because the mad man was swinging with his tape trying to get to you. You once again teleported and he crashed into the wall, obviously getting the small amount of food on there as well. You stood on the kitchen island and Mina popped up behind you and got a hold on you. She successfully got the food into your mouth and smiled at the sight. She held you up in victory and the squad all cheered. Unfortunately, as Mina brought you closer to her face level, she looked at you and you spit the food right back into her face.

“Ah!” She screamed at the feeling of having baby mush in her eyes and dropped you. You teleported again and stood on the coffee table. There, Bakugou gently picked you up in his arms and cradled you. You fussed but he held the spoon in front of you and begged you to eat.

“Please Y/N. Just eat the damn mush.” He softly spoke. You looked up to your boyfriend who stared down at you with pleading eyes and you kindly took the spoon into your mouth, swallowing the food. The squad cheered again while Bakugou contently sighed in relief. He pecked your forehead before putting the spoon in the sink. “Hey Pinkie, mind giving Y/N a bath while I clean the place up?”

“Why me?” Mina asked, wiping her face.

“Because you’re both girls?” Bakugou said, looking at her as if she was dumb.

“So? You’re her boyfriend. Are we gonna act like you haven’t seen Y/N naked yet?” Mina said, smirking at the blushing blonde with a hand on her hip.

“S-Shut up! And this is different! I’m not looking at her bare baby body!” Bakugou complained while looking flustered with red cheeks.

“Fine, fine,” Mina said as she walked to Bakugou, taking you from him. You whined at the loss of touch from Bakugou and reached out for him with sad eyes and grabby hands. He smiled down at you and played with your baby hands.

“Relax you damn brat,” he said with a soft smile, “it’s just for a little bit. Okay?” He asked and you cooed at him, almost as if you were telling him you understood. He kissed your forehead before going off to clean the room while Mina walked away with you to give you a bath.

—

Mina returned with a clean baby in new clothes that she had Momo made. She gave you back to Katsuki who was waiting for you on the now clean couch. Once you were in Katsuki’s hold, you giggled and reached for his face. He smiled and leaned forward to allow you to squish his cheeks, just like how you would if you weren’t a baby.

“Yup, you’re definitely Y/N.” He chuckled before giving you another forehead kiss. The Bakusquad all sat with him again and watched their friend interact with the mini you. Kaminari was sitting next to Bakugou and kept trying to play with you, and you definitely enjoyed the electric blonde’s entertainment.

“Hewo there my baby waby~” Denki cooed in baby talk as he tickled your chin. “Our lil coco-moco-chucka-wucka-OW!” You bit his finger. The squad all laughed at the sight and even the bitten blonde chuckled before petting your baby head...in hesitation of course. Bakugou laughed before bouncing you in his arms to get more comfortable. He leaned back on the couch and you crawled up to his upper chest and got comfy. He held a hand below you to make sure you didn’t fall as he smiled in content. It was an adorable sight, truly.

“You know man, you’d make a pretty good dad.” His best friend said. Bakugou looked towards Kirishima with a weird face.

“Ugh, Shitty Hair, this is my girlfriend, not my daughter.” He said, rubbing your tiny back.

“Yeah we know, but the way you interact with her baby form, you’d make a great father!” Mina said. “And plus, we all see how Y/N is around children. Kids love her. You guys would be really good parents.”

The thought of you and him being parents put a blush on his face. You, him, a mini Y/N and a mini Katsuki. A dog with a big yard in the back of a big house once you guys are big shot pros. Sounds like a dream to Katsuki. He snapped out of his daydream once his friends all awed at him for blushing and smiling as it was obvious to what he was thinking.

“Shut up you idiots! We’re going to bed!” The ash blonde said before getting up and carrying you back to his room. He placed you down on the bed before turning around to get some sleeping clothes for himself. As his back was turned, a white glow went on behind him and when he turned back around, he saw you in your normal form, naked under his blankets.

“Uh, Suki? You mind?” You asked with a little giggle. He smiled at you before handing you a big tee and a pair of his compression shorts. You put that on and once again got comfy under the sheets. Bakugou got dressed for bed and joined you by jumping into the sheets.

He covered you in kisses and you giggled at his touch. “I missed you baby.”

Man did it feel good for Katsuki to call you that again and not have it be weird. “I wish I could say the same but it feels like I just saw you before I left for the job.”

“Well, you were with me the whole day. I guess that quirk just puts your brain on pause for a bit while you’re in baby form so it makes sense that the last thing you remember is the battle.” He said.

“I still can’t believe I was a baby. Bleh. Tell me about it!” You giggled. He laughed with you in his arms.

“Uh, I don’t fucking know. You were a cute kid.” He mentioned.

“Were? Baby, I’m still cute.” You said with sass and flipped your hair, he laughed at you again and kissed your cheek in agreement.

“Yeah, you are. But baby-you was really adorable. You almost fell but surprisingly your quirk still worked and you knew how to control it so you were safe.” He told you, but you pushed his chest away to look at his face.

“You almost dropped me?! Katsuki!” You yelled at your boyfriend.

“I know! I know! But, you didn’t fall!” He replied. You only huffed and sighed before having him continue,

“Anyways. Then I had to feed you but your picky ass wouldn’t take anything I made. Which is weird because you love my cooking. Mini you just wanted to be a pain in the ass.” He said ruffling your hair. “So I took you to the store and everyone there thought I was some teen fucking dad or some shit!”

“Wow Katsuki~ I didn’t know you had kids. Who’s the mom?” You teased.

“Shut up, dumbass.” He said with an eye roll, “besides, if I were to have a kid with anyone, it has to be you. I’m not putting a kid in anybody else. I refuse.”

That made you giggle and you felt the heat rush to your face. “Same here Katsuki. I don’t want anyone else but you.”

A comforting silence came over the two of you as you remained cuddled in his arms. A few minutes of silence and Katsuki finally asked his burning question. “Um...how would you feel..about growing up with me? And getting married. And-..I don’t know, kids?”

His breath got stuck in his throat as he waited for your answer. You looked up at him with a sweet face before giving him a loving smile and peck on the cheek. “I only want my future to be with you, Katsuki.”

He smiled again and kissed your lips. “Same here, Teddy Bear.”

A/N: Horrible ending but..whateva i guess :/

Taglist:  @sxcker4you @aomi04

[mayhelton4]

Such A Stark

Part 1:

(Maylee's pov):

I dramatically flopped onto the couch with a loud sigh. I got no response from the others sitting in the room so I sighed louder and stuck my bottom lip out.

"What is it this time?" Steve said looking up from a book he was reading.

"No one made me any smiley face pancakes this morning!" I said crossing my arms in my min temper tantrum.

"Aren't you like 15 now? Can't you make them yourself?" Clint said looking up from a magazine that displayed different arrows on the cover.

"Yes, but-" I started to say while sitting up.

"What are you talking about? I made you pancakes 30min ago, you saw them." Tony called from the other room.

"But they weren't smiley faced!" I said in a mater of factly way, "They were round! What world do we live in where I have to eat round pancakes?"

"The normal world Maylee." Steve said with a smirk.

"Well can I just, like, skip that stuff, cause it sounds boring." I said matching Steve's smirk.

"Such a Stark!" Clint said with a laugh.

"I'm offended!" Tony said walking into the room pretending to be offended, "They're just jealous Maylee, they're just jealous they can't be as amazing as us. Common we'll get you those smiley face pancakes." he continued leading me into the kitchen. I turned and playfully stuck my tongue out at Clint before continuing on. I scooted onto the kitchen stool and carefully brought my legs up so i was sitting criss cross up to the bar. Tony pulled out the pancake mix and started to mix the ingredients together. I pulled out my phone from my shorts pocket and started to scroll through my notifications. News feed was pouring in from several different sights about some big party going on latter that week. I looked up and saw Tony had poured the batter into the pan in the familiar smiley face.

"Got any plans for today?" Tony asked turning towards me.

"Not really, I have that science project you gave me I need to work on so I might just do that." I said turning my phone off and setting it face down on the counter. Tony had home-schooled me since 2nd grade after press started bombarding my school weekly. I didn't mind and got an amazing education from it.

"What about you? You have any big meeting I should know about? Planing on saving the world again?" I said with a smirk.

"Not really, I do have a tour of the place around noon with a new recruit tho." Tony said turning back to my pancakes. My eyebrows shot up at the mention of a new recruit. Maybe it would be a girl, maybe they were my age. No that wouldn't be likely it was probably another spy just working for S.H.E.I.L.D, I thought. Tony placed a plate in front of me with fruit and syrup joining my pancakes.

"Thanks!" I said picking up my fork.

"Spoiled!" Tony said reaching over and ruffling me hair. I swatted his hand away and quickly tied it up into a messy bun. I wolfed down the pancakes and put my plate into the sink before sliding into the front room. I nearly ran into Loki who was coming around the corner.

"LOKI?!" I said balancing myself.

"Nice to - ehr - run into you again." Loki said with a chuckle.

"Sorry about that. When did you get back from Asgard?" I said apologetically. Loki and Thor had been gone for a while on a mission to Asgard.

"Just barely, He's still in the hanger I believe if you were wondering." Loki said motioning towards the way he had just come.

"Thanks!" I called over my shoulder sprinting the way he had motioned. "THOR!" I squealed running towards him.

"Ah smallest Avenger!" Thor called leaning down to pick me up in a warm embrace, "I have missed you!"

"Me too! No one around here makes me smiley face pancakes, can you believe that?!" I said leaning back. My feet were way off the ground, usually I wouldn't classify myself as short but when I was around the Avengers I looked extremely short.

"No one makes you smiley face pancakes?" Thor said in disbelief.

"I JUST MADE YOU YOUR PANCAKES!" Tony yelled carrying a box that was labeled classified out of the helicarrier.

"Fine Dad made me some just now but I had to ask so that doesn't count. Besides," I whispered into his ear, "I like your cooking WAY better, it doesn't come with charred pieces."

"I heard that!" Tony called over his shoulder. Me and Thor started laughing before he asked me if I had any plans for the day.

"No I don't think I do, why?" I asked.

"Well I am exhausted from my trip and one of your Midgaurdean movies sound wonderful for a day of rest."

"Oh that sounds like a lot of fun!" I said skipping down the hall towards my room.

We spent the rest of the morning watching mystery movies before we both decided we should probably get something productive done. I got dressed and went down to the training room were I knew I would find Nat.

"Hey Nat. Mind if I train with you?" I called out.

"No, not at all!" Nat said stopping what she was doing. I ran onto the mat and asked what she wanted to do.

"How about some hand to hand combat training?"

"Great!" I said getting into stance. We both fought for several minutes before the training door opened.

"And this is the training deck," My dad's voice rang out. Neither me nor Nat lost focus, we both kept our punches tight and didn't let our guard down. Then I saw it, Nat let her focus down for just a second giving me time to knock her of her feet and pin her down. Then I heard clapping. Startled I looked up and saw Tony and the cutest boy clapping for me. Slowly a blush crept up my neck and into my cheeks. Tony led the boy over to us as I helped Nat up, "Nice job Maylee, way to keep focused and to wait for just the right moment." Nat said with a smile.

"Nice job indeed!" Tony said standing next to me. "Nat have you seen Cap? I was just about to introduce Peter here to him." I looked up at Peter noticing his chocolate brown eyes had a sparkle to them even when he wasn't smiling. His curly hair fell onto his face perfectly framing his features. His lips were curved into a slight smile even when he didn't mean to, and his cheeks were a soft shade of pink.

"Maylee can you go find Cap for me?" Tony said looking at me. I quickly turned towards my dad and nodded before walking to the door. Butterfly's still sitting in the pit of my stomach.

[bistevethor]

Steve Rogers Fanfiction Recommendations

Happy birthday, Steve!

I know that there are some (a lot?) of steve fans who sometimes struggle to find fics focused on him, so I am here now putting a list of Steve fics. I was going to fics that I haven't seen recommended a lot and most of the ones on this post have less than 200 kudos only, but I end up putting everything (it's probably easier to put my bookmarks as public but well...). It's a massive list (over 100 fics?), so it's will be separated into several posts/reblogs.

Not all of them are from Steve's POV or even have him as the main 'main' character, but rest assured he played an important role and is featured heavily. Lots of these are friendship-focused but I categorized them. The shippy ones are mostly samsteve, thundershield, and some rare pairings because I don't venture to other ships a lot and when I did it's to the rare ones instead lol. Hopefully, any of you can find some gems from this list and these are as enjoyable or as good as I remembered. I'll continue to update it, hopefully, every time I find new ones.

Fics are under read more.

General

The Rocket's Red Glare

Steve was born on the Fourth of July (no joke), so a party is in order! Unfortunately, PTSD decides to rear its ugly head. Fortunately, Steve's got an entire team at his back to help him through it. And screaming goats.

an entry in the scrapbook of absurdity

In which Steve turns into a baby and bites people.

Baby Steve Adventures

Captain America gets hit by a spell during a battle. The rest of the Avengers look after him.

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't)

"Dragr," Thor called them. "Demons" Clint had said. "Thieves" is what Steve labels them as. AKA, the one where Steve is captured by creatures that feed off of happy memories, and the team is left to pick up the pieces. Post-Avengers.

In Search of (Bucky, Family, Home)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

A week following the events of CATWS, Steve recruits Natasha and Sam to help find Bucky.

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Do we need to recap again? You were shot three times, beaten near to death by an enhanced super soldier with a metal arm and then almost drowned. Yeah, your ass is going to need a few more days of healing time.”

The Truth When Captains Meet

Steve Rogers wakes up on an alien’s space ship being carried bridal style by Carol Danvers. As far as first meetings go, it’s memorable.

Irish Coffee

Pairings: Jessica Jones & Steve Rogers

Jessica runs into an incognito Cap at a cafe. They form an unlikely friendship of sorts.

The Lifetimes of Steve Rogers (Series)

What happens when Steve Rogers steps onto the quantum platform to return the Stones? Where does he go? What challenges does he find? Who does he meet? How many lifetimes can one man have?

Fifty-Two Pickup

Less than a week after the fall of the Triskelion, Steve Rogers is released from the hospital. Although his physical wounds are almost fully healed, other injuries need a bit more time, and some help from friends.

little kids get big so fast

Steve ends up having to take care of the deaged Defenders.

Grampa Steve's Bedtime Stories

If Mommy was away for work, then Morgan’s Grampa Steve came over to stay with her. He’d tuck her in, let her give Mommy a kiss on video chat, then hand her the picture of Daddy for his kiss. Once Daddy’s picture was back on the bookshelf, Grampa Steve would turn off the bedside lamp so that Miss Friday could cover the ceiling with stars, and ask Morgan what story she wanted to hear.

“Captain Steve, Grampa! Tell me Captain Steve!”

Grampa Steve sometimes read to her from books and other times watched a movie with her, but her favorite by far was when he told her Captain Steve’s Adventures Through the Multiverse.

On Camping Trips

Sam is more Hermione than Natasha is, and Steve doesn't want to be Harry.

Powerful

Steve loses the advantages of the super-soldier serum. This is not a tragedy.

His Dream

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As if on cue, Steve cut him off with a loud sneeze.

"Yeah. Like that." Sam nodded. "And please sneeze into your elbow next time, dude. You could've just started an epidemic."

"Sorry. Allergies." Steve excused, and Sam raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know it's allergies?" Sam asked, and Steve sighed, putting the ingredients together and solving the mystery of what the gas had actually done.

The answer wasn't ideal. "It feels like the seasonal allergies I had before. Before the serum- and I haven't had them since the serum."

Realization clicked in Sam's head.

"The gas de-serumed you."

Steve swallowed and nodded reluctantly.

OR: Steve gets temporarily de-serumed, with his height and stature staying the same but his immune system being as bad as it was before, and has to stay in the hospital to prevent a severe allergic reaction or illness. Sam stays with him the whole time, making sure he's not alone.

A Strange Encounter

Things have gone awry and Strange is injured. With no other options, he's called for assistance from Captain America and his team.

even if we're apart, i'll always be with you

Steve finds a dirty toy bear at an abandoned gas station, on the way back from a school trip. He brings him home.

As Long as You’re Not Tired Yet of Talking

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

When Steve Rogers tells her, “Don’t be a stranger,” as they’re all going their own ways after New York, it makes her want to laugh.

Draw/Breath

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Natasha like knowing what makes people tick. She likes knowing things, about her teammates and her coworkers and herself. Oddly enough, sometimes other people like knowing her too.

AKA: Natasha wants to know why Steve isn’t drawing anymore, and takes the long way round to get her answer. Because why not.

With Magic We Do Fly

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

In Civil War we see Wanda fling Steve into the air with her magic. They must have practiced that, right?

Que Wanda throwing Steve against a wall. Many times.

Just Like We Practiced

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers

Steve had said, in the movie when he asked Wanda to lift him into the building, "Just like we practiced." But just how did they come up with the idea of her lifting people with her powers, and putting them up somewhere like an escalator? Perhaps it was because Wanda accidentally sent a certain tall, blond Avenger face-first into the floor once and he decided he would help her learn to utilize this as a confidence building exercise. Natasha keeps an eye, Thor and Sam help build the training grounds, and Wanda has found her new home. Takes place between AGE OF ULTRON and CIVIL WAR.

Black and White but Red and Blue

They're watching black and white film reels, but Steve sees them in colour.

"My shield may be black and white but it was red and blue. Just like the blue sky under which red blood was spilled. Like Bucky's blue eyes and Peggy's red lips..."

The Road Warriors

Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff

It wasn't pretty, but somehow the four of them managed to make it through two years on the run.

We'll Fix It

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Steve has a hard time after his battle with The Winter Soldier and isn't sure what to do with himself. After not seeing him for a week, Natasha finally shows up to his apartment unannounced to figure out how they can get back to work. There is some crying involved.

From Here On Out

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

The Accords, the search for Bucky, the fight at the airport ... In a world where nothing will ever be the same, sometimes the road to rebuilding trust and friendship is a little rockier than it should be.

AKA, the story of Steve & Natasha and how they got to where they are.

Set post-Civil War but pre-Infinity War.

I have this breath and I hold it tight

Parings: Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Vision

Steve finally goes to Wanda’s tiny room and taps on the doorframe, although it’s hardly necessary, with the slightly warped floorboards creaking under his feet. “Hey,” he says. “Got a minute?”

Wanda's been a little withdrawn since Steve broke everyone out of the Raft. She's had a lot to think about.

to you.

Pairings: Pietro Maximoff & Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Steve Rogers, Wanda Maximoff & Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff & Tony Stark

It's Wanda's birthday today. She's not sure how to feel.

New Love

Pairings: Diana (Wonder Woman) & Steve Rogers

Near the end of World War II, Diana Prince finds herself attempting to reconnect to her long-gone, beloved Steve Trevor. However, she comes across Steve Rogers instead.

Sharing Life (And Canned Green Beans)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

It’s Thanksgiving, and Steve is hiding in the second living room on the 8th floor of the penthouse apartments with a can of green beans.

I'm Fine

Steve slowly began to realize that the problem with being a national icon, a hero, and a role model, is that somehow, he became more than human. He become a symbol, not a person. So when he becomes increasingly unhappy, deeply depressed, and utterly adrift in a world where he doesn't belong, the loneliness and isolation are unbearable. How could anyone believe that an iconic hero like himself was really just an ordinary kid from Brooklyn, dying inside because everything he'd gained still wasn't enough to replace everything he'd lost? How could he possibly bring himself to bleed on the ones he loves? So he tells himself the same lie over and over, hoping one day, he'll believe it.

dogpile

"My dog ate my mission report" An injured Steve remembers something he has to do. Unabashed Steve and dogs fluff. "Didn't peg you for a pet guy." "Allergies."

Alone In This World (Together)

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov & Sam Wilson

“We’re fugitives,” Steve said finally. “It might never get better.”

“The world’s always going to need saving," Sam replied. "We’re still Avengers. No one can take that away from us.” Then, like they hadn't been having an entire conversation before, “So when do we leave?”

“Once night falls.”

Do we have any idea where she is?”

“No.” Steve took a sip of his coffee. “But I know where she’ll be.”

it gets the worst at night

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov

Here's how it goes: Natasha sometimes shares a bed with Steve. It's not what it sounds like.

(In which there are Colombian drug lords, awkward boners, cuddly super-soldiers and the Avengers are all giant dorks.)

Shelter

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Sam and Steve, right after the fall of SHIELD.

Princely Bickering

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Jane Foster, Steve Rogers & Thor

Steve allows Sam to lean up and inspect his head for bruises and blood. He then checks out Steve’s eyes. ‘Do you know where you are?’ Steve rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t be an ass, Cap, apparently you can break.’ ‘London, England, chasing apparently useless Hydra intel despite having about five hundred international arrest warrants out for us because we’re just that stupid,’ says Steve. Sam pats him - gently - on the shoulder. Life on the run isn't easy, especially not after an injury. Fortunately Steve still has a few allies left.

And The Seconds Tick Down

AU of Civil War. How the world ended in twenty steps when Steve died.

"Grant" and "Francis" Go Shopping

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve and Clint both have holiday shopping to do for their family of choice, so they make a day trip to an outlet mall, have a few heart to hearts, use some coupons, buy a bunch of presents, and eventually get through their shopping lists.

A Tune Without Words

Pairings: Jane Foster/Thor, Steve Rogers & Thor, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

As he and Sam prepare to begin searching for Bucky, Steve gets various offers of help—some more unexpected than others.

Purpose

Tony Stark wins the fight in Siberia completely by accident.

Steve Rogers does not resist his arrest as he is taken to the Raft.

Sam Wilson, T'Challa, and Pepper Potts pick up the pieces.

Full of Wounds and Still Standing on my Feet

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

The five times Steve looked out for Wanda, and one time Wanda decided someone needed to look out for Steve.

Three Awakenings

The first three times that Steve Rogers woke up during his first twenty-four hours in the twenty-first century.

Making Your Own Future

Characters: Steve Rogers, Diana Prince, Steve Trevor Five times -- plus one -- that Diana Prince and Steve Rogers encountered one another.

Better Living Through Pizza

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

Steve takes some time off from soldiering and Avengering to get his head on straight, and Clint is assigned to keep an eye on him, because apparently SHIELD believes in the blind leading the blind. Steve really needs a hobby, since modern television shows baffle him, but Clint keeps bringing him DVDs and pizza.

Five Times Clint Barton Spoke with Steve Rogers about Growing Old and the One Time He Didn't.

Pairings: Clint Barton & Steve Rogers

When Steve Rogers reappeared from the past as an old man, there was a lot of catching up to do. Clint Barton made sure nobody got left behind.

Hammer's Totally Heavy-Handed and Incompetent Revenge

"So, at the end of IM2, Justin Hammer swears revenge on Pepper. He waits until Tony and Rhodey are halfway across the world to launch his attack.

Unfortunately for him, thanks to SHIELD, Iron Man and War Machine aren't the only superheroes in Pepper's rolladex. Steve thinks Pepper's just swell and doesn't take too kindly to somebody trying to hurt her."

Cue badass!Steve and competent!Pepper

Fan Mail

Steve starts getting his fan mail and receives an invitation to the prom. Written for a prompt at the Avengers kink meme. It was a great prompt, and so much fun to write and get feedback for!

Prom. Steve 'Grandpa Iceberg' Rogers at a 21st-century high school prom. "This isn't happening. This whole conversation is just an elaborate practical joke. Bruce really just has orders for widgets or something."

Bruce waved the printouts at him. "Fraid not. I don't really do practical jokes. Messing with other people's moods just seems. I don't know. Karmically unwise."

Mascot

Steve runs. People see Steve run. Steve gets adopted by the neighbourhood he runs through every week day morning. He finds this confusing. Tony finds it amusing.

Locks Not Replaced

Tony angsts back at Avengers' HQ, Ross is a bully and Steve makes sure he doesn't get away with it. In other words, there is much regret, a bit on the philosophy of locks, adventure and far too many Robin Hood metaphors.

woof

For a prompt on the avengers kinkmeme: "...something different happens when Steve gets Dr Erskine's serum plus the Vita ray treatment... Steve does get taller and stronger, but when the first full moon hits, he turns into a big friendly looking dog. Yes, he's a weredog, not a werewolf."

Mission: Baby

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

The Asset finds himself in charge of the care of a small baby, but somehow he knows—he has to protect the baby from all harm, whatever the cost.

14 Tracks

Pairings: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Avengers Team 14 tracks from Steve's iPod and how they got on there.

Life Will Rattle Your Bones

Pairings: Erik Lehnsherr & Steve Rogers

Captain America and the Howling Commandos find Schmidt sooner than they thought... wait, what do you mean this is a *different* Schmidt?

In war-torn Germany, the paths of Steve Rogers and Erik Lehnsherr cross, part, and cross again.

come build me up

Pairings: Sharon Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“Do you ever feel like -- like you joined up because you wanted to do good. You wanted to do the right thing but somewhere along the way, you just lost the whole fucking plot.”

“All of the time.”

Or: the one where Captain America and Agent 13 give long distance friendship a whirl.

Down in the Worn Out Place Again

Pairings: Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Wanda Maximoff

“You don't look a day over 85, Captain,” Wanda says.

Natasha smiles, just barely, and nudges Steve with her elbow. “She makes jokes now.”

(Post AoU, stories about friendship.)

Satellites

Characters: Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Nick Fury Pairings: Natasha Romanov & Steve Rogers, Minor Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

In the immediate aftermath of SHIELD's collapse and Steve's plunge into the Potomac, Natasha considers her place in the world. Also the fact that Steve is depressing.

Timeless Classics

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Avengers Team Five An undetermined number of times (six, apparently) Steve unexpectedly got the reference (sort of), and one time everyone discovered something new together.

you just wait and see

Pairings: Rocket Raccoon & Steve Rogers

“Thor said you’re the captain.” Rogers says, his voice distant, sad smile growing into a sadder grin. “Tough job.”

The Small Hours

Pairings: Steve Rogers & T'Challa, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

"I'm not getting him back, am I." The words were flatly delivered – not a question so much as fatigued resignation. "We will do everything we can to help him," T'Challa quietly replied, but he wouldn't lie, not about this. Not to a fellow warrior he respected on and off the field of battle. "The possibility does exist, however, that the triggers are permanent."

The Man We All Remember From the Newsreels

Still getting used to the twenty-first century, Steve comforts himself with memories of long-gone friends. But Howard Stark, the man Steve remembers, is nothing like the man he sees in the newsreels.

we're all choir boys at best

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

You are totally getting laid tonight. "Please stop talking." You hijacked my brain first, this is totally not my fault.

Epistaxis

Steve doesn't worry the first time he gets a bloody nose that won't quit. But when it happens a second, third, fourth... He, and his teammates, start to get concerned.

You Close Your Eyes and the Glory Fades

His body isn’t his own, he knows that, knew before the procedure that everything would change. That was the easiest thing to wrap his head around, actually, the physical changes. He’s used to his body betraying him, so this is just another thing to learn his way around. But the colors of everything, even the sliver of blue sky he could see, craning his head at the tiny window, look different.

Looking For Answers (From The Great Beyond)

After the Battle of New York is over, and Loki and the tesseract are returned to Asgard, Steve takes a road trip across the country, and tries to figure out what he wants to do next.

Mourning the Future

Steve's ties to the past and the future are pretty tenuous, and the serum ensures he lives in an eternal present state of ever-youthful vigour. When an old war buddy gets handed his last marching orders, Steve has to wonder if everyone will eventually leave.

Riviera Life

Sam and Steve have been traversing Europe looking for Bucky. Not everyone is convinced it isn’t an open invitation road trip.

Voluntary Bros.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Johnny Storm

"Dude, you could be twins, they tested you before they defrosted you to see if you were a clone or something, or if he was a clone," Clint said.

"I want to talk to him, I think. I mean, a girl threw her latte at me last week for not calling her back and this dude felt me up at an art gallery yesterday," Steve said.

Two Brooklynites and One Big Apple

Pairings: Miles Morales & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers

“You did good out there today,” Captain America said, brushing a layer of detritus from his unfathomably broad shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

“Not if I see you first,” replied Miles, fingergunning with one hand as he sent a web rope fwipping off into the distance with the other, catapulting himself away at tremendous speed.

... in which two superheroes battle with bad guys, embark on community art lessons, and a friendship forms along the way.

Battle Fatigue

Steve thought he was doing okay. Things weren't going great, but they were fine, manageable even, and then suddenly they weren't.

We Become New Yorkers (or: Five Times Steve Rogers Looked For Home, and One Time Home Found Him)

New York is a million cities at the same time. This is how Steve found his.

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

In which Steve and Peter learn that the best way to get through a bad situation is together. And to avoid collapsing buildings. And that concussions are terrible, terrible things.

Leviticus 25

"You want to save Bucky Barnes? You are going to have to put your own house in order first because he is going to need a rock to cling to. You are not ready to be that rock for him. You owe it to him -- and more importantly, you owe it to yourself -- to figure things out, figure out how you can be happy in this time and place, whether or not Barnes is with you."

Strike

Sometimes the road to recovery involves bowling. Conveniently, so does the one to the Grand Canyon.

Conversation in Wakanda

“I have been told that you had the privilege to share a training session with some of our Dora Milaje,” T’Challa says. “May I ask how it went?”

“Well,” the Captain huffs. “There’s no polite way to say it: I had my ass handed to me. Repeatedly.”

He sounds and looks utterly delighted.

Contact Light

Everyone thought computers would be the thing that really blew Steve's mind about the 21st century. They were wrong. When he finds out that he missed the moon landing, it's the start of an ongoing obsession with space that maybe involves Neil deGrasse Tyson, Twitter, and Star Trek marathons.

Twenty-Two

“This is Lucky,” Clint said when a dog got between him and Natasha. Lucky’s vest was bright, like desert mornings and night explosions.

“Does he help?” Natasha asked.

Clint pressed his hands flat on the counter behind him. “He saved my life.”

Natasha looked at Steve, her expression fierce. Steve resisted the urge to yank down his sleeves. Instead, he dug his nails into the puckered skin on his forearms.

AKA An AU in which Steve is a veteran just trying to survive (or not).

Gray

Peter doesn't expect Steve to show up at his house one night when he gets home from school. He also doesn't expect to have a long conversation with him, and choose to be on his side instead.

We're Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely at the Same Time.

"Tony isn't sure, but he *thinks* Steve Rogers is going to try and argue with him about not being a kid, while wrapped up in a fluffy blanket and plaid pyjama pants watching a Disney movie. Tony really hopes that is the case. The Captain America voice looses all affect when wrapped up in that blanket and Tony can't wait to inform him as such." - The one where Tony realises that Captain America and Steve Rogers are not the same person, and Steve is so much younger then he thought.

This Isn't A Love Song, This Isn't A Fable

Steve's not OK with people's perception of Captain America, no matter what he says or how much he pretends otherwise. It's like no one in this time period realizes that there's more to him than a spangly outfit. And yes, he's including the Avengers in that. ... or, the one where everything's all right, until it's not.

it's safe here in our new world

Post TWS. In which Natasha and Steve go shopping, have Thursday night movie nights, and learn that Natasha loves to platonically kiss Steve. Which is good, because Steve loves being platonically kissed by Natasha.

Shadowboxing

Pairings: Matt Murdock & Steve Rogers

It doesn’t matter how many times you fall – what matters most is how many times you get back up. Steve Rogers knew this lesson far too well and it was one Matt Murdock had endured all his life. With both men at their lowest, could a chance friendship bring each of them to their feet again?

Everybody Eats When They Come to My House

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

“You’ll ruin your dinner,” Sam says, gesturing with Steve with his spatula.

i fear for the calendar; its days are numbered

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson

Before she goes off the grid, Natasha gives Steve her phone number. He’s honored that he’s the only one to be trusted with it, but quickly learns that she spends most of her free time texting him Dad jokes.

Status Quo Ante

Pairings: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers

A tale in which Sam suspects he should be used to this by now, for values of 'this' that involve certain folks he hangs out with and situations he finds himself in, Team Cap becomes Team Ex-Cap becomes TBD, and nobody but Clint really wants to know what happened to Scott Lang's GI Joes. (Sam Wilson from the final scene to the mid-credits scene.)

The Glass Parade

Pairings: Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov

Steve thinks that he’s seen Natasha be at least three different people in the short time he’s known her, and he isn’t sure which one is real.

In which the most confusing part of the future is how much Steve has in common with Natasha, and the fact that she seems dead-set on being his friend.

Still Life

Steve Rogers and a very modern form of art therapy. (The one where Steve draws himself out of despair and into some notoriety when his cartoons hit the internet, but he's still not allowed to look at Tumblr without an okay from Pepper.)

Selective Service

The serum's given Steve a lot, but it hasn't taken anything away from him. Not even the things he never wanted in the first place.

I'm a Hustler, Baby

Steve Rogers has a talent for pool--and for making others believe he's terrible at it.

The Healing Properties of Felt-Tip Pens

Rapid healing has worked wonders on Steve Rogers' body, but occasionally it really screws with his head. In the aftermath of torture, Bruce Banner helps Steve to reconcile mind and body.

If I Die Before I Wake

It's his job, as their leader, to endure the sadistic focus of their captor, and that is the one thought that carries Steve through.

Even Gods Do

Captain America doesn't have a good relationship with sleep anymore. Also, he's not a toy.

Under My Skin

Written for a prompt on avengerkink: I want to see something where, for whatever reason, Steve's accelerated healing turns out to be a bad thing. Something where the faster healing is making things worse. I would prefer something other than the standard, super-healing allows for more torture without death. “He's lucky – to have the serum, to have you all.” Tony wasn't sure about that first part. When one faced death and destruction every day on the job, there were many advantages to having a healing factor...and a great many disadvantages as well.

A Glossary of the 21st Century

Pairings: pre-Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov

Steve's sick of not understanding what's going on, and the team are not all that helpful, so he starts keeping an illustrated notebook for further research. With the help of wiki, google and Logan he starts to settle in and find his place in the twenty-first century.

Blanket Gift Policy

“You didn’t,” Bucky said, with no real hope of being contradicted. Clint shrugged helplessly and passed him the large, soft bundle wrapped in shiny purple foil.

“Sorry.” Tony covered his eyes with one hand.

“I’m getting a migraine.”

“So,” Bruce said wearily, “counting Clint, me, Bucky, Tony, and Sam, that brings it up to five.”

“Excuse you, mine’s not a blanket,” Sam said. “Mine’s a slanket. Big difference.”

Bucky resisted the urge to throw the whole heap of parcels at Sam’s head. “Because it has sleeves? It’s still a blanket, Wilson. They’re all blankets. Even Thor’s direct-from-Asgard raven gift delivery was a cloak, which just means it’s a blanket with a strap. We all got Steve a goddamn blanket.”

One Tin Soldier

Written for a prompt at avengerkink: Because really, under any other circumstances, why would they follow him when he's some guy who's younger than the rest of them (time as a Capsicle aside), who goes around wearing that spangly outfit, who's not even used to the modern world? Why Steve Rogers, rather than a Norse god or the CEO of Stark Industries or anyone else?

“Love is for children,” she'd said, but respect knew no such bounds. The five times the Avengers accepted Steve as their leader, and the one time they followed without question.

and if there's life we'll see it

Steve is instantly taken with this idea of having the picture of the person calling you flash on your screen when they ring your cell.

Secure Your Own Oxygen Mask (Before Assisting Others)

Steve keeps going, because they need him. Being Captain America - having the serum - is a responsibility and a privilege he takes seriously, and he won't waste it by sitting around resting in the middle of a crisis. But then the work is over, and the original victims of the crisis aren't the only ones needing looking after.

Way of the Eagle

Clint introduces Steve to kung-fu movies. Things escalate quickly.

Walking Wounded

In the aftermath of the battle against the Chitauri, Steve's doing just fine. Until he's not. Fortunately, Thor is a perfect mother-hen, Tony makes decent back-up, JARVIS is a genius, and Soap Operas are life-changing. (Or, Post-Shawarma Feels.)

[iamfruitie]

In Too Deep Chapter 24

Full Lesson

Mad looked down at the now unconscious man on his lab’s floor, sighing a little. 

“Now I have to take care of this.” He flicked his wrist and had his mallet return to its smaller form, setting it down on the table. “Tempted to just dump him somewhere and let him find his own way home.” Phantom glanced at Mare, saw that he had his ‘blue screen’ face, and walked over.

“I got him, you’re about to have something else to deal with.” Phantom grabbed the man by the hair. 

“Deal with what?” Mad didn’t get an answer from Phantom as he, and the man, were gone. “Mare, do you know what he was talking about?” Mad blinked and now had Mare right in front of him. 

“That was so fucking sexy~” Mare nearly growled, wrapping an arm around Mad’s waist and holding him close. 

“It was?” Mad’s hands went to Mare’s chest without a second thought. 

“Very.” Mare used a thumb to wipe away the blood on Mad’s face, seeing that there was a little cut on his lip. “He hurt you.”

“It’s nothing.” Mad watched as Mare licked the blood off of his thumb, his eyes appearing to darken and a tint of pink showing on his cheeks as he looked at Mad’s body. 

“Are you wearing my shirt?” 

“Sorry. I just-” 

“Mad?” Mare’s voice was deeper and he was now holding Mad’s face with his hand.

“Y-Yes?” Mad squeaked out, feeling Mare’s other hand slide down the curve of his back.

“I’d like to teach you some more lessons, are you okay with that?” Mare paused all movements; ready in case Mad said no to step away, to head out for a bit and feed before returning. 

“Yes.” Mad nodded his head as well. Mare responded by kissing Mad, cleaning off the rest of the blood on Mad’s lip, and getting a little whimper from Mad. 

“Is everything okay?” Jackie was now at the door, having taken a while for him to get to the other side of the mansion. “I-” He stopped his next sentence when Mare growled at him and sent himself and Mad away. “The fuck!?” 

Mad landed on his bed with a little ‘oomph’, having Mare right on top of him. He opened his mouth to say something but it came out as a shaky gasp as Mare started to kiss and nip at his neck. Mare really like having Mad in his shirt, how his scent just mixed so wonderfully with his own, his blood was so much sweeter than before as well and it just worked him up.

“M-Mare.” Mad finally got out, just barely able to as Mare’s hands went under the shirt, fingers barely grazing against his skin. “Jack-Jackie saw you do that.” 

“Oh well.” Mare lifted the shirt up and started kissing Mad’s chest. “I’ll take care of that later, but right now-” He flicked his tongue over one of Mad’s nipples, grinning when that got another gasp. “-I’m going to take care of you~” 

“O-Okay.” Mad lifted his arms when Mare slipped the shirt off of him, squeaking when Mare then caught him by the wrists and pinned them down to the bed. 

“You look too damn good like that.” Mare hummed. “I’ll be right back.” He winked before sending himself over to where his duffel bag was, digging around for a second and pulling out a bottle. “I have a feeling you don’t have lube.” 

“There’s lubricant for my machines,” Mad commented, having Mare appear right back on top of him.

“Not that kind, Madsy.” Mare chuckled, setting the bottle on Mad’s chest before leaning back to remove his own shirt. “This can actually go inside of you.” 

“Oh.” Mad grabbed the bottle and looked at the label, turning it around to read the back. He read the ingredients, the ‘examples’ of how it can be used, and went red in the face at said examples. 

“Don’t get too lost in there.” Mare plucked the bottle from Mad’s hand, letting Mad see that he was now fully bare. He had taken that moment of Mad’s reading to undress. “It’s cute how flustered you get at seeing me naked.” Mare chuckled, hands tugging at the bottom of Mad’s boxers. Seeing Mad lift his hips a little told Mare he could pull them off all the way. 

“Are the lessons based on what was on the bottle?” Mad asked; a hand up towards his mouth, legs slightly bent, other hand resting on his stomach and just looking delicious. 

“Yes, they are,” Mare answered, popping open the bottle. 

“And it’ll feel good?” 

“I’ll make sure of it.” Mare put a little bit of lube on a finger and picked up Mad’s hand off of his stomach, smearing it on his own fingers to let Mad feel the texture of it first. 

“Oh?” Mad rubbed his fingers together. “Weird.” 

“Good or bad weird?” 

“Good.” Mad stopped and stared at his hand, unsure of what to do with it now. Mare had kept his shirt nearby for this and grabbed it, cleaning off Mad’s hand. 

“Wanted to be sure first,” Mare said as an explanation before tossing the shirt aside and getting the bottle once more. Mad wasn’t sure what Mare meant by that at the moment and just watched as Mare coated his own fingers with a generous amount of the lube. “Remember, tell me no, stop, or even hit me if you need me to stop.” 

“Okay.” Mad arched his back a little when Mare tucked his clean arm under it. He immediately wrapped his arms around Mare when he was turned and was now chest to chest with him, both laying on their sides. 

“Put your leg around me.” Mare tapped the thigh of the leg he was talking about with the wrist of his hand. 

“Okay.” Mad repeated and lifted said leg, resting it on top of Mare’s.  

“We’ll go nice and slow for you.” Mare pressed a finger against Mad’s ass, not pushing in yet and just rubbing against him. Mad unconsciously flinched away from the touch and Mare paused, waiting until Mad relaxed before continuing the movement. Mad slid his hands down to Mare’s chest and rested his face against it as well, squirming as Mare did push a finger in. 

“That’s…different.” Mad commented. “Good different.” He added and leaned more against Mare as he felt the finger gently thrust into him. 

“I told you.” Mare chuckled. “And it’ll only get better.” He slowly pushed in a second finger, waiting again as Mad squirmed. “There you go, good boy.” 

“M-Mare~” Mad softly panted, hips rocking a little at the praise and the fingers thrusting into his once more. 

“Does someone like this~?” Mare pressed his leg against Mad, holding him so that he could rut a bit better. 

“I-I do.” Mad went back and forth between leaning towards Mare’s hand and rubbing his cock against his thigh. “God~” 

“Just Mare works.” Mare couldn’t help from teasing as he got a third finger in, loving the moan Mad let out. 

“Mare~” Mad moaned out right after that. “I-I-” Mare caught what he was trying to say and reached his other hand down, continuing to thrust his fingers and was now stroking his cock. Mad dug his fingers into Mare’s chest, taking in a few deep breaths before moaning again, cumming on his stomach and Mare’s hand. 

“How was that?” Mare took his hands away as Mad looked up at him. 

“Can we…can we do…the other lesson too?” That question got an extra rush to go down Mare’s back. 

“Fuck yeah, we can.” He flipped them over again so it was Mad on his back again and Mare sitting between his legs. 

“You’ll be…gentle, right?” Mad glanced down as he spoke, getting Mare to feel a flutter in his chest. 

“Of course.” Mare pressed a kiss to Mad’s forehead. Mad felt his own flutter at the gesture. “I got you.” Mare grabbed the lube again and was very generous with coating his cock with it. “Just stay nice and relaxed, it’ll take a second to adjust, but it’ll feel good soon.” He pressed just the tip of his cock against Mad. 

“I trust you.” Mad’s voice was soft and Mare flushed in the face at that, the flutter becoming a full bloom of warmth. He leaned in and kissed Mad, swallowing the gasp he let out as he started to push in. Mare went very slow, almost painfully so for himself, making sure that Mad was okay. 

“Almost there,” Mare spoke against Mad’s lips, finally stopping when he was all the way in, hips fully pressed against his. 

“So…full…” Mad panted out. 

“Thank you.” Mare chuckled a little. “You good?” 

“V-Very.” Mad was clinging to Mare’s shoulders, trembling slightly with each breath. 

“Good boy~” Mare just barely rolled his hips, watching Mad’s face. 

“A-Ah~” Mad squeezed his legs against Mare’s sides. 

“Such a good boy.” Mare nipped at Mad’s neck, continuing his gentle thrusts and keeping them as even as possible. He didn’t think this could feel that good, he was used to more of a…rough time but hearing Mad’s groans and whimpers made it all so wonderful that he didn’t care about being so slow. Eventually Mad started to rock back against him, letting him know he could go faster. 

“Mare~!” Mad cried out when Mare started to actually thrust. “O-Oh~!” 

“Fuck.” Mare cursed, a hand gripping Mad’s hip as Mad dug his nails into him. 

“G-good, so-so good.” Mad stammered, not really thinking of what he was saying. Mare nearly growled at that and took his other hand to stroke Mad’s cock. 

“Go on, cum for me again, make a mess,” Mare spoke right into Mad’s ear, far from shocked when Mad moaned loudly and did just that. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Mad rambled as he came, feeling several waves of pleasure hit him over and over again. Eventually, Mare pulled out, knowing Mad could not handle him continuing. Not yet anyway. Mare adjusted Mad’s legs so they were pressed together and he slipped his cock between his thighs. 

“Keep them together,” Mare told Mad and started thrusting again, fucking Mad’s thighs at a harsher speed, letting himself go at a closer pace that he liked. Mad did as he was told and held on to Mare, gasping as he still felt Mare rubbing against him. Mare kept an ear out for any signs of needing to stop but only got sounds of pleasure from Mad. “Fuck~!” Mare cursed loudly when he came, keeping that same speed for a good handful of thrusts before slowing down. 

“Mare…” 

“Yes?” Mare rubbed at Mad’s hip, unsure yet if he may have bruised that spot. 

“That was…really good…I hope that-that we can do it again.” Mad held Mare in a tight hug, blushing brightly as he spoke. “And that I…that I can get better at it for you.” 

“God, you are too precious for this world.” Mare lifted his head and kissed Mad.

------------

Tag List: (Feel free to ask to be added!)

@dungeon-dragons-dragons @justyoursicanon @angst-anonn @damnthedead

[codenamed-queenie]

#BatsInQuarantine

I am going insane. So I poured my restlessness into one long and very detailed post and got super into it. Please enjoy this hot mess.

The Justice League, being the well-meaning virus-proof Super Friends that they are, took one good look at the news, one good look at their non-powered friends Ollie, Bruce, and their families, and collectively decided that these normal humans must be Protected At All Costs.

Now, keep in mind, Bruce is never one to roll over when it comes to being benched. 

However, he understands the importance of social distancing. He knows he needs to set a good example for his kids, and keep up appearances as Gotham’s Most Responsible Multi-Billionaire. 

So. Quarantine it is. 

But how are his kids handling it?

Dick - 

100% on board in the beginning. Gotta do the Responsible Thing. Gotta set a Good Example. Besides, guys, this is gonna be Fun. Quality Family Time is always a Must.

He lasted 2 days. 

Then he started to get twitchy. 

And as everyone knows? A Trapped Dick Grayson is a Feral Dick Grayson.

He bounces off the walls.

Literally.

“I have to climb.” 

“Dick, no.”  

“I have to climb everything.”

Has scaled the manor 16 times already. Has climbed the chandelier. The banister. Bruce. The roof. The Cave. Anything in the house that’s been bolted down and especially anything that hasn’t. 

Duke found him clinging to the wall 10 ft off the ground like Spiderman and screamed so loud it shattered glass. 

Desperate for news of the outside. 

He thrives off of it like a starving man. 

Was the one to suggest he and Barbara take a break to Social Distance from each other (”Sorry, babe, kissing spreads germs”) and experienced Instant Regret(TM) approximately 5 minutes after. 

The Family has labelled him a Flight Risk Level 1 (Most likely to say f**k it and make a break for the outside world)

Jason - 

Accidentally got trapped inside the manor with the others when Bruce called Shutdown. If he had his way, he’d be chilling in his favorite safe-house right now, binging The Witcher with Roy and Artemis, and not worrying about finding a stray brother in his sock drawer.

But he’s nothing if not an opportunist. 

The way he sees it, Jason has 3 options:

Self Improvement

Self Isolation (See Duke, Cass, and Damian)

Descension Into Madness (See Dick and Steph)

And, well, he always wanted to try a few things. Now he’s got the free time to do it.

So he settles on baking. 

Alfred’s got enough food and raw ingredients stored up to feed an army. (Not because he’s a Panic-Buying-Hoarder in times like these. But because he’s a Panic-Buying-Hoarder all the time. Just try feeding 11+ teenagers sometime.)

Uses recipes he finds off Google.

His first few attempts are, in a word, ‘tragic’.

Alfred slips him a few of his recipe cards, and Jason suddenly starts seeing Results. 

Turns out he’s pretty good at this baking thing once he gets the hang of it. 

Hope everyone’s okay eating nothing but pie, macaroons, biscuits, and whatever else Jason whips up. 

Cause that’s gonna be the only food left by the time he’s done. 

Barbara - 

Self-quarantined with her dad. 

They’ve been binge-watching classic black and white movies together.

It’s a fun time, but she’s started to get a little antsy. Loving her dad and wanting to be around him 24/7 are, understandably, mutually exclusive. 

Calls the manor to video-chat every day.

For her sanity just as much as theirs. 

Gives everyone little challenges to film on their phones and send in. She makes compilations of everyone’s submissions so they can all watch and laugh together. 

Bonus points for Creativity

One comp shows the family trying to drop Mentos into coke bottles. 

Dick did a handstand, and dropped his Mento from the second story balcony. 

Tim did it wearing the Batman cowl. The soda exploded into his face, and the rest of the video is just Bruce’s Shrieking.

Stephanie tried it, but the bottle tipped. Everyone on camera screamed as the bottle rocketed through the front window. 

She spends most of her calls having one-on-one convos with Dick.

They’ve come up with little code phrases so they can be Cheesy even with family members lurking in the background. 

She thinks the way he clings to the monitor is cute. 

Almost like he’s giving her a hug through the screen. 

(It’s easier than letting herself worry about his mental state, at least)

Tim -

Oh this boy.

Freaked out for the first five minutes before he decided ‘hey wait, Bruce is letting me stay in my pajamas all day? Noice.’ 

Now he’s just vibing.

The rest of his family is Low-Key shielding him.

He Has No Spleen, you see.

Steph: “Someone could cough on him and he could die!”

He just goes about his day, playing Animal Crossing like there’s no tomorrow, tinkering on projects, taking naps, etc. Living his best life.

Meanwhile there’s always someone lurking behind him, keeping watch, keeping him safe. 

Dick sneezed within 5 feet of Tim once (the fact that he was on top of the dusty bookshelf Tim was perusing is irrelevant)

Jason still full-body tackled him the second Tim’s back was turned. 

No one with any symptoms--

Like, any symptoms. They don’t even have to be Corona-related.

--is allowed within 10 feet of Tim. 

Tim has been wandering the manor for weeks, now, without seeing another human being. 

(He sees Dick on the ceiling sometimes, but that doesn’t really count)

He’s been trying increasingly drastic pranks and shenanigans to draw someone, anyone, out. 

But it doesn’t matter how many times he steals Damian’s sword, or sets fire to Jason’s brownie bites.

Nobody wants to risk it. 

Cass - 

No one has seen her since quarantine started.

Everyone is approximately 87% sure she’s somewhere in the manor though

Because she does eat the meals Alfred leaves out for her.

Or at least someone does, at any rate. 

(Jason and Santa top the running suspects list)

Santa was Steph’s suggestion. For some reason it snowballed. 

It’s assumed that Cass misunderstood the meaning of ‘social distancing’ and took it too far. 

But no one knows for sure. 

She is Tim’s Guardian Angel. 

People who so much as clear their throats a little too loudly anywhere near him suddenly wake up on a different floor of the house four hours later. 

Duke came closest to spotting her while he was up in the attic. 

Either that, or there’s another Creepy Sister everyone forgot to tell him about living up there.

She is silent, and watchful, sticking to the shadows, but she does leave the occasional note out to brighten her siblings’ day. 

Things like ‘helo i love u’ and ‘hop u ar ok’  mostly. 

She is bound and determined to protect her family from this invisible threat, no matter the cost. 

Steph - 

Like Dick, she was Super Pumped at first. 

(Just kind of showed up at Wayne Manor before quarantine was enacted. The original purpose of her visit is unclear, but regardless, she’s Trapped.)

Also Like Dick, her descent into madness was swift.

She is impossible to pin down. 

Not like Cass or Damian, who’ve stayed off the grid, and are therefore Untraceable. 

No. She’s impossible to pin down, because she never stops moving. 

Switches seamlessly between Zumba on top of the Giant Dinosaur in the Batcave, and furiously knitting Alfred (the Cat) a sweater with a pair of Tim’s used chopsticks. 

Braided everyone’s hair while they were asleep.

Even Bruce’s. 

She tried to do Tim’s, but somehow blacked out and regained consciousness in the attic. 

When she woke up with a scream and a furiously twitching eye, she startled Duke out of his Makeshift Fort he built out of old cardboard boxes and antique furniture. He’s had to resort to finding a new hiding place. 

Sometimes, on the rare occasions she does sit still, staring off into the distance, she’ll suddenly start laughing hysterically. This may last between thirty seconds and thirty minutes, depending entirely on how long it’s been since she’s knitted a cat sweater or done cartwheels through every room in the house.

Blew up the greenhouse out back, somehow.

Everyone has agreed not to talk about it.

Some people were built to handle prolonged time inside their homes.

Stephanie Brown is not that way.

Damian - 

Damian Wayne Cannot Be Contained.

At least not inside the house. 

He took off thirty-six hours into quarantine. 

Thanks to the security equipment around the borders of the Wayne Estate, he can’t escape the grounds. 

(He’s tried and failed multiple times. Jason and Bruce have a running bet on how many times the perimeter alarms will go off per day.)

(Jason is winning.)

He wanders the grounds with Titus as his only companion. 

The two of them run laps, practice drills, and find ways to occupy their time. 

No one’s entirely sure what those ways are. 

In fact, nobody knows exactly where Damian is at any given time. 

Only that he is Out There. 

And he’s the best security system Wayne Manor’s ever had. 

So far, he’s stopped five groups of civilians scaling the perimeter walls before the lasers and electric nets even have a chance to deploy.

They were trying to break in and steal supplies. 

(Even ones they already had in surplus. Like Toilet Paper.)

He’s also stopped Dick from escaping twelve (12) times.

Drags him back by his shirt collar and deposits him on the welcome mat. 

Usually with a note for Alfred/Jason, requesting more fruit tarts. 

Duke - 

Did not leave the attic for two weeks. 

Then Steph discovered his hiding spot (read: was dumped there by Cassandra) which forced him to relocate to the basement. 

Yes, it turns out Wayne Manor does have a basement. 

This was a surprise to Duke, who always thought that the Batcave was Bruce Wayne’s basement. 

Alfred keeps him supplied with all the necessities:

i.e. food, magazines, assorted pastries from Jason’s latest batch, usually straight out of the oven.

Duke also snagged the Manor’s Alexa. 

She has become a sort of ‘Wilson’ to Duke’s ‘Chuck Noland’.

She is his only comfort. His only ally. 

He’s determined to wait out this quarantine, doing his best to avoid the others. 

Duke has seen these people under pressure. 

He knows exactly what he’s dealing with. 

Duke: “Alexa is the only motherf****r in this madhouse I ever respected.”

*offended butler noises from the other room*

Duke: “And also Alfred.”

[secondhand-trash]

A/N: it’s been a long time without any new bentos but its back uwu I know we usually clown osamu a lot in this series but this one is kinda where we give him the appreciation he deserves hehe also its winter and I just have to write about something winter related so enjoy ouo

Warning: sickness, Osamu being baby

Word count: 2375

(click here to see more of Osamu’s bento)

(taglist in the notes, please go to the link in my bio or send me an ask to be added to the bento taglist uwu)

-

Winter in Hyogo was lovely, by all accounts. Not too chilly, but cold enough for the gentle sunshine gracing on your skin to feel like a blessing from the universe when you walked on the streets. 

It would have been a flawless season if you were to be given the luxury of staying underneath your thick, fluffy futon every morning after waking up until your body was sufficiently warmed up and the worst hours of the day had passed before you finally had to leave the comforting confines of your bed. But alas, you wouldn’t get paid for staying in bed and before the day that such a magical occupation becomes a reality, you still had no choice but to give up on the blissful warmth of your blankets at unholy hours in the morning before leaving for another day of sitting still in a cold office with nothing but lifeless documents as your company.

You let out a sigh as the blaring screech of your alarm kept ringing, shutting your eyes tight to relieve yourself of the soreness lingering behind your vision before turning it off in frustration. The room was still dark, and it would not be until you were ready to leave the door that any light would shine through the curtains.

That was winter work days for you, always making the offer of early retirement all the more tempting.

Rolling to your side, you sucked in a deep breath to brace the impact of what was to come before lifting up the corner of your futon that you would certainly miss throughout the day. The chilly air broke through the trapped heat within the layers. You shivered as you hastily searched for you cardigan that draped at your bed side table, slipping your toes that were numb from the cold into your room slippers. Osamu shifted in his sleep at the sudden evasion to his warm little bubble, curling up uncontrollably at the sudden loss of his heat source as you left the bed.

Wait, Osamu?

“Samu?” you called out for him gently, putting your hand on top of his body that was wrapped up by the blanket that he now occupied entirely. 

“Hm...”

There was a whimper that came from beneath the layers, hoarse and muffled as the man barely moved. 

No wonder why it was so quiet this morning. Osamu was rarely up later than you, always out of the bed at the first alarm to start preparing for the day. You had taken being woke up to the smell of warm breakfast and the sound of pan sizzling for granted with it being one of the few motivations you had to actually open your eyes. 

But right now, he was still in bed with seemingly no intention of waking up. You walked to his side of the bed, clutching your cardigan closer to your body as you bent down to push down the blanket that was covering his face just a little. His brows furrowed at the miniature, a bead of sweat appearing on his forehead as he clenched his jaw. His face was flushed but his lips looked dangerously chapped, the few strands of his bangs that had fallen down matted to his forehead.

“What time is it?” he asked groggily, the clear nasal in his voice making it sound like there was something stuck at the back of his throat as he spoke.

“8:30.” You replied, rubbing your hand along his arm as you took in his expression.

He shuddered at the time, kicking away the blanket but seemed more tangled up by it under his attempt as he shifted and tried to get up. “Shit... that’s so late. Why did I miss the alarm?”

You did not miss the way he nearly fumbled the moment his feet touched the ground, leaping forward to hold him by the shoulders before he could fall. 

You had expected it when you saw that he didn’t get up. Osamu rarely misses his alarm, and the number of times this had happened as a careless mistake on his part was near none after he had the responsibility of Onigiri Miya on his shoulders. 

But you knew your guess was correct when you pressed your forehead against his as he slumped over you. He was burning up, his face and his entire body as it laid on yours despite it being difficult for you to hold up his much larger frame. However, the person who was basically a human furnace in your hold was still struggling to stand back up straight as you held him there.

“Osamu,” you said, patting his back and trying to urge him to lay down, “go back to bed.”

“No...” he replied stubbornly, but ended up sounding more like a child who was trying to sound serious with his voice coming out weak and shaky.

“You are sick, I won’t let you get up like this,” you peeled off his hand that was latched onto your forearm, the lines between your brows deepening when you felt how he was sweating from his palms.

“But-”

“Miya Osamu.”

He let out a defeated whine, succumbing to the way you coerced him back onto the mattress as the dizziness weighing on his head finally took over. He was still mumbling about all the things he needed to do today under his breath as you tucked him back under the covers, reminding you to contact the staff that was supposed to come to work this morning as you reassured him again and again that you would get it figured out for him.

He spoke slower and slower as you fixed the pillow underneath his head, words melting into near incoherent slurs before he finally closed his eyes back up.

You did not move away until you saw the heavy breathing returned to a steady pace, even though the loud inhales indicated that he was still having a hard time. Sighing as you relaxed your hands that had curled into fists at your side when you hadn’t paid attention, you pressed your finger to your own forehead where it felt like his heat was still lingering on your own skin.

-

You had gone back to work as usual after spending too long pacing around that morning to call for a day off completely, but managed to file in to leave early. Just the thought of a sick Osamu being alone at home had you shifting in your seat. What if he woke up while you were gone and tried to force his wobbly body to handle chores? You had never packed up your things as quickly as you did when the clock finally strike at the hour when you were allowed to leave, dashing out near immediately the moment you finished off the work at hand. 

Osamu was still deep in sleep by the time you got back, much to your relieve. He seemed slightly more at ease now than he was when you left the house, the cooling pad on his forehead sufficiently absorbing the heat emitting from him. It had been a long while since you last saw him so vulnerable, his lashes fluttering at his eyelids jumped at the way your finger brushed against his cheek when you reached to check his temperature.

“Mm...you’re home,” he fought his eyes open when he sensed you moving away under his half-woken state. 

“Don’t go...”

You forgot how needy he always was when he was feeling unwell and how weak you were against his glassy eyes. Patting the back of his head, you tried to appease him as you cooed, “Let’s try to get you something to eat first, I’ll be back soon. Ok?”

He did not seem to be happy about the suggestion of you leaving his side, but still, let you go with a whine. Grey eyes stared at you from behind hooded lids, his cheeks squishing against the pillow as his hands curled and released at the corner of the futon he was grabbing onto. “Ok...”

When was the last time you ever stood in front of a stove? You were not completely useless in the kitchen by all means, but the long period of having all your meals being taken cared of by someone who not only knew what they were doing but found so much love in doing so had reduced you to nothing but a clueless cloud as you stared at contents in the fridge. There sat the jelly you had got for Osamu, which apparently was recommended to feed to patients for increasing appetite and reducing heat according to the articles you looked up on your way home. But other than that, it was a territory of unknown to you.

There were several Tupperwares labeled with different dates in Osamu’s scribbles. He had always been smart when it comes to domesticities, making sure that the best before was always marked clearly on the package of everything he bought. The drinks and soda cans were always refilled, which you had clearly taken for granted because the suddenly empty space stood out to you more than ever before. There were a few plates stacked up at the corner with sticky notes on the side and you felt a hollowness in your chest when you saw what it said.

“Monday’s bento.”

Oh baby boy...

You clasped your hand together as you gathered your thoughts, not giving yourself the room to stand around doing nothing. There’s a patient waiting for you in bed, and you couldn’t just let him suffer through a fever with an empty stomach.

You rolled your sleeves up, bracing the winter cold that graced against your arm, before searching in your sea of memories of all the times someone had taken care of you when you were sick.

The sweet smell of rice gathered in the steam, warming up your body with each inhale. You lifted up the lid tentatively and was pleased to see the all the grains had already melted together into a soft, fluffy cloud. The strings of egg added a tint of flavour to the otherwise bland congee. It was all starting to come together, and you let out a relieved sigh to know that at least he wouldn’t have to starve. The mess around the counter was evidence that you had to stumble through each step, the ingredients that you choppily diced up still lingering around the cutting board. 

You thought of the way Osamu always out so much effort into making sure you were well fed each day and all the thoughts he had put into each bento. 

The sheer cheesiness and absolute embarrassment that followed what popped up in your head made you shiver. Since when were you the type of person who could even think of things like that? But still, your hand moved to pick up the knife that was put to the side with the other reaching for the scraps that were left from the cooking.

He would probably like this a lot.

You hope he would like this a lot.

-

“Samu? Are you awake?”

The creek of the door was met with a soft whimper. The man on the bed swung his arm over to the side so his still heavy body could move with him, a small smile crawling onto his face when he saw you.

“Took you long enough...”

“Sorry, it’s been a while since I cooked anything,” the wooden tray landed on the bedside table with a clank. He tried to get up on his own, but the shaking of his arm had you rushing to help him at once. He looked sheepish as you lifted the cover of the pot, mixing everything together with the spoon before handing it to him.

Osamu was always touched by food, but maybe the lack of taste in his mouth all day had done a number on him when he had to choke back the urge to sob when he smelt the warm steam filling his nostrils the moment you opened the lid. 

“Is that a heart?” he was grinning ear to ear as he pushed around the congee with the spoon.

“Yes,” you huffed with a defeated laugh under his knowing stare, “now hurry up or it’ll get cold.”

He looked up at you, and your heart nearly skipped a beat when he pouted. 

“Feed me,” he demanded, his voice sweet and like a kid as he held out the spoon in his hand.

You knew he would be all over it. You let out a soft tsk as you took the spoon back in your hand, sitting on the small space next to him on the bed as you scooped up some of the rice.

Osamu felt a warm swell in his chest at the way you carefully blew against the congee, one hand cupping beneath the spoon before bringing it to his lips. His head was still pounding, and the dryness felt nearly painful as he had his first bite of real food of the day but he loved, simply loved the way your eyes never left him for even just a second.

The congee warmed him from within, and he indulged in the leisure of laying against your shoulder while you babied him. 

He latched on you when you were about to move away, rubbing his face against you as he whined. “It’s cold without you.”

“I need to get this in the sink or else it’ll be hard to clean up-”

“Nooooooo,” he held out for the last note of his voice, burying his face at the crook of your neck, “do it later...”

“You’re such a child when you are sick,” you joked, pushing away his bangs and caressed his jaw with your thumb.

“Yeah?” he muttered, leaning into your touch, “Good thing I have you here to take care of me then...”

You sighed, knowing that there was no way you could win when he was acting all clingy and cute like this. He let out a satisfied hum when you climbed under the covers, wrapping your arm around his waist while tugging his head against your shoulder.

“Get well soon, you big baby.”

[gunpowdville]

The Great Flesh-Eating Cake Incident of Year [REDACTED] (Not to be Confused With the Bifrost Incident)

Chapters: 1/2

Words: 3502

Relationships: Drumbot Brian - Raphaella la Cognizi (queerplatonic), Gunpowder Tim/Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum, The Aurora/Nastya Rasputina (although most don’t show up until the second chapter)

Other Things: genderfluid tim, she/her tim, he/fae marius :)

Summary: Brian and Raph bake a cake. Or, they try to. It doesn't exactly go well. (aka, Why Raphaella la Cognizi Should Never Be Allowed in the Kitchen)

read on ao3 here or read below the cut for people who don't like ao3 (i will post the second chapter. at some point. hopefully soon)

Chapter 1

“Try it now.”

“Is it safe?”

“Does that matter?”

Brian gives her what she calls his teacher look, a combination of calm exasperation and gentle chiding. “I would prefer to not fry myself from the inside out, if I can help it.”

“Boring,” Raphaella accuses, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “And you know I’d fix you if you did.” Well actually, she would get Nastya to fix him, as Raph herself has absolutely no self control when it comes to the prospect of tinkering with a complex mechanism and Brian hates being tinkered on without his permission.

“Yes, of course, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt like hell,” Brian points out. “Not to mention how horrendously it would fuck up my systems.”

Raphaella pouts. “So I installed the flamethrower for nothing?”

Brian hesitates. “...I didn’t say that.”

Raphaella perks up immediately, turning her full attention from the clattered worktable to her partner. Brian straightens up and faces away from her, focusing at the blank wall at one end of the lab. He pokes his tongue around the inside of his mouth a little, probing at the new addition in the back. He tests out flipping its settings, making sure everything flows smoothly, then steels himself and opens his mouth, turning it on. Nothing happens.

Raphaella throws up her hands in exasperation. “I don’t understand! That should have worked! It-”

Brian yelps suddenly, clapping his hands to his throat as the back of it heats up rapidly, too rapidly, the heat growing from gently uncomfortable to unbearable in a matter of seconds. Luckily, his systems react before he can, shutting off the new attachment the second it could cause potential harm. The heat fades almost as quickly as it had swelled.

“Ow,” Brian says mildly.

“That was about to work,” Raphaella huffs, hands on her hips, eyes fixed somewhat accusingly on Brian. “If you had just waited a moment longer.”

“It was about to melt my vocal cords,” Brian points out in retort. Raphaella throws up her hands again.

“My husband is a coward,” she declares to no one in particular, with no actual insult behind it. Brian can’t help but smile softly at the endearment. They’re not married, technically, but for all intents and purposes they might as well be.

“I’ve started to become convinced that you’re simply trying to kill me,” Brian remarks to her as she turns back to the notes on her lab table. She shoots him a brightly malicious look, one backed heavily with fondness. “Maybe I am.”

He sits down on the stool beside the lab table and reaches for her, catching her waist from behind and pulling her onto his lap. She leans back into him as he wraps his arms around her, and he rests his chin on her shoulder so he can peer down at the pages of notes in her hands.

“Here, tell me what I’m doing wrong,” Raphaella holds up the notes so Brian can get a better look at them. He hums thoughtfully as he scans her delicate sketch of his body, each part individually labelled with possible enhancements to be added in Raph’s lacy handwriting. Brian’s own handwriting, cramped and blocky, annotates the science officer’s notes with his own observations of measurements and possible difficulties.

In his mind, Brian overlays the sketch on top of the official schematics the doc left in there, focusing on his throat and the new addition, checking for anywhere where it isn’t wired properly or messing with any of his other systems. Nothing. He bites his lip, a very natural bad habit that he’s never been able to shake, despite it splitting the rubber badly. Raphaella hits him lightly in the side of the head when she notices him doing it.

“I don’t think it’s anything you’ve done,” Brian says finally, leaning back slightly on the stool. “I think it’s simply a matter of too much heat.”

Raphaella ‘hmphs’, taking her notes back from him and setting them back on the table. She turns her head to study Brian’s face, placing her hands atop his where they rest over her stomach. He quirks an eyebrow at her, and she regards him silently. He can tell that she’s thinking through what next to work on, now that their flamethrower experiment is a bust.

He gives her stomach a light pat. “If you don’t mind, I was going to go bake something. Tim’s been complaining that there aren’t enough ‘munchies’ onboard. And yes, that is the word xe used.”

Raphaella slaps a hand to her heart melodramatically, the gesture accompanied by a theatrical gasp. “Leaving me for Tim, are we? Scandal.”

Brian chuckles gently as he rises to his feet, dislodging Raph in the process. “Yes, I’ve decided you’re much too cruel and brutal for me, and I’d be much happier feeding Tim for the rest of eternity.”

Raphaella tosses her hair and turns away from him, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her chin up imperiously. “Good riddance.”

“Good riddance indeed,” Brian agrees drily, with no heat behind it. Raph glaces over her shoulder at him and grins, and he smiles back as he slips out the lab door, tipping his hat as he goes.

Ivy’s reading at the kitchen counter when he enters. She doesn’t look up as he makes his way into the kitchen proper, wrangling his hair into a wiry ponytail and tossing his hat on the counter. He peeks at the cover of her book and makes an intrigued little noise when he notices it’s about prophets and oracles throughout space and time.

“I was going to give it you when I was finished,” Ivy says without looking up. “I thought it might interest you.”

“It does,” Brian tells her, and she smirks, proud of herself. She still doesn’t take her eyes off the pages. Brian leans over, resting his elbows on the counter, and knocks his forehead briefly against hers, a somewhat awkward sign of affection that’s he’s developed with some members of the crew. She responds by patting his head absentmindedly, still not looking up from her book. He smiles, and turns back to the kitchen.

After a couple minutes of rummaging around in cabinets, Brian becomes aware of Raphaella’s presence leaning against the counter to his left.

“Missed me?” he asks teasingly. She rolls her eyes and pokes him in the arm. “You promised you’d teach me to bake.”

Brian pauses, replaying the last ten minutes in his mind to confirm that he has not, in fact, promised her this. And then he realizes that she’s referring to a time quite a few decades ago, when the two of them had been left back on the ship while the others had been out pillaging a nigh-extinct planet. They’d been sharing some pastries that Brian had been experimenting with, and Raphaella had asked him how he’d made them. He had launched straight into a detailed explanation of exactly which ingredients he had used and what amounts of each, and how he had played with the measurements and tweaked the recipe to see how he could improve it. Raph had listened with utter fascination, and after he had finished she had mentioned that it seemed a bit like her experiments, only with slightly different materials. He had offered to teach her a little, if she’d like, and she had said she would love to learn. And now here they are.

“I did do that, didn’t I,” Brian muses. He studies Raph, leaning against the counter, a sparkle in her eyes that both makes him excited to see what she has in store and fear for his life.

“So?” Raphaella raises an eyebrow. Brian considers.

“We are making a cake,” he tells her, keeping his voice slow, steady, and serious. “A basic cake. We are not going to put anything in it that is not on the ingredients list. We are going to follow the recipe. To the letter. And we are not, I repeat, we are not going to burn down my kitchen.”

My kitchen, Aurora corrects him gently.

“Our kitchen,” he concedes.

Raphaella steps forward and takes Brian’s hands, looking him solemnly in the eyes. “I won’t let you down,” she promises. “Trust me.”

“Phee, I love you to death, and I always will” Brian tells her, lifting her hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it. “But I draw the line at trusting you.”

“Rude,” Raph sniffs, while Ivy tries to cover up a snort.

“Practical,” Brian shoots back, letting go of her hands and reaching past her to pluck the recipe from the counter. With a flourish, he deposits it in her hands. “Find me these ingredients.”

Raphaella mutters something about ‘bossybitch Brian’ as she turns away from him and marches purposefully toward the cupboards. He watches her fondly for a moment, before busying himself gathering pans and setting up his beloved electric mixer, something he’d found being sold for scraps on a junkyard planet and had lovingly repaired and repainted with his own two hands. Its name is Small Brian, and it remains one of his most prized possessions.

“Bri, which eggs are we using?” Raphaella calls to him, her head buried deep in the disorganized fridge. Brian abandons Small Brian for just a moment and pokes his head in beside hers.

“Ah, not those,” he says, indicating a half dozen of jet-black eggs glowing faintly from within. “Those are Ashes’. They will supposedly hatch into a rare breed of fire-breathing corvid.”

“And those?” Raphaella points to the other carton of eggs.

“We’re using those,” Brian confirms, pulling the carton out. “Ah. Wait. Not this one.” Carefully, he removes a small, round, green orb from the carton and places it gently on the counter. “An octokitten laid this. We think.”

Raphaella leans over and picks it up, holding it in the palm of her hand and bringing it up close to her eyes. She looks suspiciously like she’s about to slip it into her pocket, so Brian plucks it from her hands before she gets a chance to. She sticks her tongue out at him. He waves her off to go collect the rest of the ingredients, reminding her that the lovely ceramic pot labeled ‘sugar’ is in fact actually filled with gunpowder, and the sugar is in the cabinet to its right. Meanwhile he goes back to fussing over Small Brian.

The mixer isn’t starting up properly, it keeps stuttering and stopping whenever he tries to turn it on. Brian frowns, tapping the top of it with a metal finger. “Come on, love,” he says softly to Small Brian. “Don’t give up on me now. Not after all we’ve been through.”

“Raph,” Ivy speaks up from her place at the counter, her tone amused. “Brian’s talking to the appliances again.”

“If either of you make a joke comparing me to an appliance, I will kill you,” Brian warns both of them placidly, fiddling with Small Brian’s mechanisms until the machine whines and starts up properly. “Good lad,” Brian says, patting the appliance lovingly.

“I saw that,” he adds when he catches the look Ivy and Raphaella share over the counter. Raphaella rolls her eyes and gestures to him to come approve the ingredients she’s gathered. She hooks her arm through his and tips her head onto his shoulder while he checks each one off against the recipe.

“Excellent, that’s everything. Thank you.” he says, kissing her on the top of the head. “ Now we can begin.”

Raphaella, as always, is a very attentive student, listening well and asking questions when necessary. He suspects that she asks some of the questions just to listen to him talk about something he loves, and he adores her for it. They work very well together, the two of them, bantering back and forth as they do. Ivy chimes in on occasion, never taking her eyes off of her book.

Jonny strolls into the kitchen at one point, zeroing in on the chocolate chips scattered across the counter with a predator’s precision. As soon as he spots the first mate, Brian sweeps a knife into his hand and points it at him. “Out.”

Jonny backs away, throwing his hands up in surrender. He’s been killed enough times over messing around in the kitchen that he knows by now that the best thing to do is back off.

All in all, it’s a shockingly peaceful time. Brian hums to himself as he stirs ingredients together, and Raphaella goes through the cupboards, looking for something to play with. She reaches to open one in the back, and Brian notices too late which one it is. Raphaella stops, tilting her head in curiosity as she stares at the contents of the cupboard.

“Oh, Briiiiiiiiaaan?” she calls in a singsong voice, which is usually a sign that Brian is about to either be taken apart or assist in taking apart someone else. “What is this?”

Brian sighs and sets down the bowl, making his way slowly over to her. She raises an eyebrow at him as he gazes silently for a moment at the dismantled skeleton shoved into the back of the cupboard. “Those… are my bones.”

“Your… bones.”

“My bones.”

“Why…?”

Brian shrugs. “It’s not like I’m using them.”

“Right.” Raphaella studies the skeleton for a moment longer, before declaring, “I’m going to make soup out of them.”

Brian starts. “I’m sorry?”

“Your bones. I’m going to make soup out of them.”

“You are not.”

“Bone broth is a thing, isn’t it? Ivy?”

“It is,” Ivy confirms, casually turning a page.

Raphaella grins, gathering the bones into her arms. “Brian soup.”

“Brian s- no!”

“Brian soup Brian soup Brian soup Brian soup-”

“NO.”

“I thought the doc took your bones,” Ivy mentions, as Brian attempts to gently cajole his partner into giving him back said bones.

“I asked her to let me keep some of them,” Brian explains, tugging a rib out of Raph’s arms and dislodging about three more, which clatter to the floor unceremoniously. “They are mine, after all.”

“It’s unusually sentimental of me, I know,” he adds as Raphaella ducks under his arm, executing a perfect twirl to get the bones out of his reach, “I’m not quite sure why I wanted them.”

“For soup,” Raphaella quips, and Ivy snorts as Brian throws himself at the science officer. Raph yelps and scrambles away from him, and so begins an epic chase around the kitchen, Raph struggling to run away while clutching an armful of bones, the owner of said bones following a step behind her, playfully angry.

Brian doesn’t realize he’s started humming to himself until Raphaella turns to face him, jogging backwards, and asks what song it is.

“It’s a new one I’m working on,” he says, using her moment of distraction as an opportunity to trap her in the kitchen, the wraparound counter devoid of exits besides the one that he is currently standing in front of. “It’s called ‘Raphaella Please Don’t Make Soup Out of My Bones.’”

“I hate it,” Raphaella decides, still backing away. She’s almost hit the counter, and Brian smirks at his inevitable victory.

“You’ve barely heard it,” he argues, and begins humming louder. Raphaella’s back hits the counter, and Brian stops. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, he begins tapping his foot along to the tune.

“Oh, no you don’t,” Raphaella starts, but the other foot has already begun to move as well. Just tapping at first, tap tap tapping to a beat in Brian’s head, but the footwork quickly becomes more and more complicated as he eases into the song. Ivy picks it up quickly and starts tapping her fingers on the counter, taking charge of the beat while Brian continues humming the melody.

Raphaella shakes her head, refusing to let his shenanigans charm her, but Brian refuses to give up. He dances his way smoothly across the floor to her, finishing with an elegant twirl and an extended hand. Raphaella regards him with reluctant defeat, then rolls her eyes and takes Brian’s hand.

He waltzes her out into the middle of the floor, two steps forward, one step back. He spins her out, then spins her back in so they’re swaying with her back pressed to his chest. “You’re a master manipulator, you know,” she says to him. He smiles. She twirls him out, then twirls him back in and dips him, effortlessly holding up his mass of metal.

“I don’t remember this step of the cake recipe,” Ivy comments drily. She’s finally looking up from her book and is watching the two of them with an expression that is equal parts exasperated and amused.

“Which step, the bone soup or the dancing?” Brian returns, just as dry. Ivy is saved from having to respond by the arrival of Marius, who comes striding through the door like an invading general, arms spread wide in greeting.

“Well, if it isn’t my three favorite delinquents,” fae says, grinning like a maniac. “Dancing in the kitchen like- wait. Why is Raph in the kitchen?”

“I’m helping,” Raph says proudly, tossing her hair over her shoulder in a decidedly smug fashion as Brian collects his bones and returns them to their cupboard. “How can we help you?”

Marius pulls up a stool and takes a seat next to Ivy, scanning the pages of her book idly. “Tim stole my partner.”

“To be fair, Tim is also dating your partner,” Brian points out, handing the bowl of cake batter to Raph to finish stirring and put in the oven.

“Sure, but she’s being smug about it. So I’m pouting,” Marius replies, metal fingers tapping on the counter. “Oh, also: Tim wanted me to tell you. She/her for the time being.”

Brian nods, taking note of the pronouns. “Well, when you feel like speaking to Tim again, you can tell her that a cake is on its way.”

Marius raises an eyebrow. “You mean that cake that Raph just slipped something into behind your back?”

Honestly, Brian is surprised that this didn’t happen earlier. Slowly, he turns to Raphaella, who meets his eyes with a mischievous smirk as she slips an empty vial back into her pocket.

“What was in that?” he asks gently, not mad, just curious.

“Just a little something I whipped up,” Raphaella says, giving the batter an experimental stir. An odd squelching noise escapes from the bowl, and she quickly lets go of the wooden spoon as a dark tendril of… something curls up around it, possessive and hungry. “Oh. That’s interesting.”

“What the fuck was that?” Marius leans forward over the counter, curiosity evident on faer features.

Raphaella sets the bowl carefully on the floor and steps away from it, circling around it to Brian’s side. He gives her a questioning look, and she shrugs cheerfully, indicating that she has no idea whatsoever the effect of whatever she put in may be. With somewhat tired resignation, Brian steps forward to investigate what has become of his simple chocolate cake.

It’s… alive. The dark, viscous substance in the bowl has begun to writhe and bubble in a distinctively sentient manner, tendrils forming reaching out, looking to grab hold of something. The tendrils feel their way around tentatively, like a newborn animal learning to walk for the first time. The substance itself has an oddly familiar shimmer to it, the nearly oil-black surface revealing colors of every hue and nature when the light hits it.

“That looks like…” Marius frowns, clambering over the counter and dropping next to Brian as what was meant to be a cake slowly drags itself out of the bowl and onto the floor. “Oh, Raph, you didn’t!”

“Don’t touch it,” Brian advises as Marius crouches near the thing to get a better look.

Marius gives the Drumbot a scathing look. “I’m not a moron, Brian, I’m not going to-”

“Mare, get back,” Brian snaps, but it’s too late. The crawling blob has already reached the violinists foot and has clamped on tightly, wrapping its tentacles up and around his leg. He stares down at it in mild concern for a moment, then says: “Fuck.”

What happens next is hard to describe. The viscous thing sort of… stretches itself, until it covers Marius’ entire body, undulating and pulsing, then collapses in on itself, returning to its smaller form, leaving nothing but a slightly steaming metal arm left where the ship’s doctor once stood.

“What the hell did you do?” Brian demands, staring at the (now slightly larger) creation as it drags its way across the floor.

Raphaella doesn’t respond. “I think it ate faer,” she says instead. Then, “where is it going?”

Brian glances at the floor just in time to see the thing disappear into the vents. He lets out a cry, but it is much to late. It’s gone.

“Well,” Ivy says, staring with vague concern at the open vent. “Fuck.”

[nad-zeta]

Mochi Madness

Pairings: Vlad x Reader

Words: 2200+

Comments: Eeeeeeeek! Once more HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEEEMOOO! ❤☺hehe I bet we have all become far better at making mochi than we were with the first attempt lol,☺😳😳😳😳 Eeeek I'm super excited to see how our cheesecakes and brownies are going to turn out! whoooop whoooop even more excited to spend the day with ya ! hehe, hope you had a wonderful day neemo filled with all the candy, all the sunshine and all the sweetness! Sending ya infinity catbus hugs! hehe love ya lots! ❤❤😳😳

.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’ .*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’･ﾟ｡.*:・’ﾟ: ｡.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’ .*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ

The month of July was not a particularly special time of the year for you, but for Vlad, it meant the world, for it was the birth month of his dearest flower. You had insisted multiple times to the man not to make a big deal out of the day of your birth, and after a bit of back and forth, a compromise was made. A morning spent making some delightful birthday treats followed by tea in the garden was the suggestion and one that seemed like an appropriate way to spend your birthday. Not too grand, yet intimate and memorable.

It was the early afternoon of your birthday, a perfect time to make some treats for tea. You were the first to arrive in the kitchen, so you decided to prepare yourself for the mountain to climb. You tied the pink apron around your waist, washed your hands and gathered the ingredients for the battle that was about to commence. Your kitchen had become a war zone, so to say, more so because of your severe lack of cooking abilities.

Your comrade—companion in arms— arrived in due time to lend support and as such, marked the start of the great birthday battle.

Vlad strode through the kitchen doors, taking soft steps as he carried a basket of precious cargo close to him. “Ah, just in time, did you manage to get enough strawberries from the garden,” you asked curiously, shooting a happy smile over your shoulder.

He returned your smile with a gentle one of his own, coming up beside you to place the heavy basket down, pulling the cloth off to reveal a mountain of strawberries. You let go of a gasp in awe. “I think we have enough strawberries to feed an army,” you jested with a playful elbow jab to Vlad’s side.

“I have no intention of sharing these with an army, only with you, my love,” came the light chuckled response from Vlad as he reached over to grab hold of a matching pink apron. It was the cutest apron, littered with bunches of tiny bright red strawberries— a gift from his last birthday— one which he cherished very much for the feature of his favourite food. Despite the airy response, you knew he was dead serious, especially when it came to his beloved strawberries. You shook your head with a smile, memories of past castle shenanigans flashing in your mind— of Faust and Charles stealing Vlad secret stash of berries and the severe punishment that awaited them for their crimes.

Your eyes drifted down to the recipe— it was one you had come across a few weeks ago while searching the library for a book to read. Mochi, it was called; you remembered researching the dish after it had been mentioned in a favourite book of yours. You were always curious about the dish. However, after the main character described the soft, chewy texture, you knew you just had to try the treat for yourself. Hells, you were so excited about wanting to try it out, that you had immediately sought Vlad out in his garden to share the discovery and to find out if in all his years on earth if he had ever come across such a dish.

With a shake of the head and a fond smile shot your way, he suggested that the treat be included as part of your birthday picnic.

It took a bit of searching and lots of researching, but thankfully, with Vlad’s help, the two of you managed to find a small recipe book that featured the soft, chewy dessert.

“Okay, first things first, we need to mix the rice flour and water,” you stated, tapping the recipe in thought as you read a little further to gauge the next few steps to follow.

Meanwhile, Vlad reached out to pick up the two bags of powdery substances laying on the table, crimson eyes scrutinizing the labels. He then turned to you, concern painted over his face, “What’s the difference?” he asked.

Your first obstacle had just arrived; you knew it was one that would come back to haunt you as even after you had found the recipe, one of the ingredients had never been heard of before. You and Vlad hunted far and wide for the rice flour when finally, one day when Vlad was on his way home from the flower shop, he spotted the very flour you required for the baking battle. The only problem was that that shop housed two types of rice flour. So Vlad did what any reasonable person would, he bought them both. It was a problem for future Vlad to deal with.

You looked over at him in confusion, which only seemed to grow when you investigated the labels yourself. “Surely glutinous rice flour and rice flour are the exact same thing,” you stated, stroking your chin and wracking your mind for any differences between the two.

“Let’s see what the recipe says?” Vlad suggested, moving to take a closer look at the book.

“Sweet rice flour,” he read aloud with widened eyes. How was there a third type of rice flour? You tried to decipher the labels for any indication, even going as far as to look at the sugar content hoping that one of them would be higher, as surely that would dub it as sweet rice flour? More sugar equals sweet, right? RIGHT?

After a moment of pondering, and investigating you smiled over at the man with a carefree shrug, “there is only one way to decide which to use.” Vlad looked over at you curiously, raising a brow as he waited for you to reveal your master plan.

”Cover your eyes,” you said with a widening smile and a hint of mischief, carefully taking the two bags from his hands and putting them behind your back.

Once his eyes were closed, you brought the bags forward and placed them down on the counter, keeping a cautious eye on Vlad to make sure he wasn’t peeking. With a satisfied nod, you quickly started shuffling the bags around until even you were unsure which was which.

With a tender smile scattered across his face, Vlad’s eyes twitched to open ever so slightly, if only to catch a glimpse of what you were up to. Unfortunately for him, you had eyes at the back of your head and caught him in the act trying to steal a glance, “Nuh uh, I see you peeking,” you squealed out, quickly rushing behind him and bringing your small hands up to block his vision further.

He tilted his head to the side, puzzled as to just what antics you were up to. As if reading his thoughts, you finally revealed your ingenious plan. “Since neither of us knows the difference between all these flours, we shall let fate do the deciding for us!”

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement, hands extended out in front of him to feel around the counter until finally, they hit one of the bags. After a moment of patting around for the second bag, he randomly picked one up, “this one,” he smiled, turning to lock eyes with you.

You clapped your hands together happily, letting out a gleeful hum, “perfect! Okay, let’s mix it with some water!”

Without care for quantities, you eyeballed the amount of water thrown into the bowl with a satisfied smirk— you never were in the habit of measuring ingredients out accurately, much rather opting to follow your gut.

After the two ingredients were combined in a bowl, you cooked it in a saucepan until a blob of sticky goo formed. You removed it from the heat and set it aside to read the next set of instructions. “Knead,” you stated simply.

Vlad looked at the pot of goo dubiously, giving it a little poke, “is it supposed to be this sticky,” he asked with a troubled expression. Cooking had never really been his strong suit either, despite the years spent on the earth.

“I mean, the recipe didn’t say it shouldn’t look like this, “you responded with a confident shrug and an easy smile. You tried tipping the pot out onto the counter, only for the goo-like substance to remain firmly stuck to the bottom, causing an amused snort to come from Vlad.

“Interesting,” the white-haired man mused, using the spoon to help the goo from the pot to flop onto the counter. He split the mixture in half and gestured for you to knead one half while he took care of the first.

“Here goes nothing,” you said, apprehensive, not entirely sure what kind of end product to expect— as things stood, the pile of goo was neither light nor fluffy, just a sticky mass.

After several moments of trying to knead the glob, you finally broke into laughter, “this is not working,” you looked down at the ‘dough’, most of it being stuck to your hands, the other half stuck to the board.

Your gaze shifted over to Vlad, who seemed to be having about as much luck as you with the dough, but instead of kneading, he was playing with it like goop between his hands, “I bet Johann would like this, reminds me of one of his experiments,” he said with eyes lit up in childlike wonder.

Continuing on your crusade, somehow, you and Vad managed to get the sticky mass of goo into a semi doughlike blob. Left to chill for 30 minutes beneath a heap of cornstarch, you moved onto the next feat, ganache...

Easy enough, you thought scanning the recipe— how wrong you were— how very wrong indeed, as it was anything but simple. You glanced around the kitchen and gulped; Charles was going to kill you when he got home.

The mixing of the chocolate and cream was easy enough, but the shaping of the dark chocolate substance into balls? Now that was a separate feat on its own. After letting the ganache sit in the fridge for a few moments, you were ready to make up and fill your mochi.

A strawberry centre with a chocolate ganache covering. That was the goal, and truly the recipe made it sound so simple. Just make a ball out of the ganache and press the strawberry to the centre, covering it entirely with the chocolate, it said— it will be fun it said, freakin nope! What the recipe didn’t account for was warm hands and sticky chocolate melting and making a giant mess.

Even though the once-pristine kitchen turned warzone from the hurricane that was your and Vlad’s cooking, a smile never left Vlad’s face.

You had to laugh at your pureblood lover covered in chocolate, brows furrowed together as he tried his hardest to wrap the mochi dough around the ever melting chocolate covered strawberry. At some point, to motivate himself between mochi’s, he would pop the ‘flopped strawberries’ into his mouth, you know, to taste test and make sure they were still good.

After 5 successful ish attempts, the two of you decided to call it quits! With a wide grin, you snuck a glance over at Vlad, who finally managed to seal his first chocolate delight in the mochi skin. You clapped your hands and praised him with a ‘bravo.’

After carefully putting your newly made treat into the picnic basket, you turned to Vlad with an impish glimmer in your eyes. “You have a little chocolate right here,” you gestured to the man, startings of a cunning smile falling across your lips.

With a thoughtful hum, he brought his knuckle up to wipe the spot on his cheek, but it was of little use as you simply giggled and shook your head.

“Did I get it?” he asked, crimson eyes looking down at you with nothing but pure love and affection.

Your smile widened, turning Cheshire as you reached your tiny hand covered in chocolate to his face, to leave a playful smear, “nope, it’s right here,” you said, biting back the laughter that threatened to spill from your chest.

“A cunning one, I see,” came his response, with eyes lit up. Before you could jump back, he dipped his fingers in the bowl of chocolate and swiped them across your cheek with a smear to match.

Chimelike laughter filled the kitchen as you and Vlad continued to worsen its state with the third natural disaster of the day, this time in the form of chocolate finger painting. The end of the new battle was marked when Vlad leaned down to steal a kiss from your lips mid-attack. “Sweet,” he remarked with a twinkle in his eye, hand moving from your check to delicate take hold of yours.

“Happy birthday, Draga mea,” the words befell his lips, followed by another tender kiss on the forehead. You responded in kind by giving his hand a squeeze,” shall we go out and have that picnic in the garden? I am rather excited to try these mochis.”

“Anything for you, my love,” he spoke with an affectionate squeeze of the hand, leading you to your favourite spot in the garden.

[dinosaurs-last-day]

Of Witches and Long Lost Families

This is my gift for @because-were-fam-ily for the @sanderssidesgiftxchange 2020!

Their prompt that I used was magic au, and I also added an nonbinary character since another one of their prompts was nonbinary coming out. 

Relationships: platonic dukeceit, eventual romantic intrulogical, familial dukexiety and familial ancxeit. 

word count: 5004

warnings: ask to tag

Witches, demons, angels, elves, fairies. All considered mythical creatures to humans, all very real. Most of them live in hiding, unwilling to prove their existence to the non-magical humans, sometimes even fearful of what people would do if they found out the truth. 

Janus was one of these magical beings, they were a witch. Like many magical and mythical beings, they preferred to avoid humans, opting to live in the woods that were deemed “haunted.” Because so many magical beings lived in those woods, humans tended to stay away, which led to it being a magical paradise. 

Janus lived by themself, spending most of their time perfecting potions and magical spells. When they weren’t working, they were often with their best friend, Remus. 

Remus was a demon, a cruel and vulgar species. Remus didn’t live in the forest, he chose to live in the pits of hell, which suited him just fine. Everything about Remus was crazy, from his wild sense of clothing (billowing black shirts with tight leather pants) to his wild purple makeup and dark green demon horns. Remus’ favorite pastime was coming up from Hell to terrorize humans in the village closest to the forest. 

Janus was almost the exact opposite. They were calm and careful, full of grace and poise. Janus dressed with elegance, wearing long cloaks and flowing skirts that were practical but still had that dramatic flair that Janus was known for. They wore satin yellow gloves, which served no practical purpose, the gloves were purely because Janus liked them. 

Together, the two friends were a force to behold. Remus’ chaotic whimsy and Janus’ calculated cunning worked together better than most people would expect. Most of the time, their schemes were directed at humans who had wandered into the forest or offended the magic folk. Janus insisted on using their powers for protective purposes only, but Remus was known to convince them on pulling a cruel prank every once and awhile. If the two weren’t terrorizing humans, they were probably terrorizing Remus’ rival and brother, the angel Roman. 

On the particular morning our story starts, Remus had crawled up from Hell, bored and hoping that Janus could entertain him somehow. He wanted to go and trick his brother or his brother’s friend, but Janus insisted that he was too busy working to go do any of Remus’ crazy ideas. So Remus just sat around Janus’ cabin, moping, complaining and summoning hellhounds to keep him entertained. 

“Janny! Why must you insist on being so serious! We’re occult beings damn it! If we want to have a little fun, we should be allowed to have fun!” Remus draped himself across Janus’ couch dramatically, trying to tear Janus away from their work. Janus rolled their eyes and continued to stir the bubbling brew in their cauldron. 

“I’m sorry Remus, but I am working. I have to get this potion ready for Logan.” 

Remus perked up. “Logan the elf?” Janus nodded. It was common knowledge that Remus was romantically interested in the elven man for a long time. Logan himself was the only one who seemed unaware, but he wasn’t known for being the best at reading social cues. He was the most socially awkward elf that Janus had ever seen, which was saying something since elves were known for being an incredibly social race. 

“Are you delivering the potion today?” Remus asked. Janus nodded once again. 

“You can tag along if you promise to behave,” Janus told their friend. Remus agreed wholeheartedly that as long as they were going to visit Logan, he would stay out of trouble, specifically, he would refrain from terrorizing Roman. 

“Well then let’s go!” Remus was ready to bounce out the door but Janus held him back, reminding him that they had to wait for the potion to be done first. Remus sighed and flopped down on Janus’ couch, waiting impatiently as he summoned another hellhound and began to play with the giant demon dog. 

“It’s done,” Janus called, watching as Remus zoomed towards the door and out into the open air. Janus laughed and followed their friend outside, smiling as the sun peeked through the trees. 

“Let us be off!” Remus cried dramatically, leading the way. The two headed through the woods towards the more populated area, where Logan lived. They were still a ways away from the town when they heard a rustling in the bushes.

Janus stopped to listen, expecting some sort of rabbit or little fairy to pop out of the brush, but nothing appeared. Remus was starting to get bored, so he began to pull Janus down along the path. 

The moment Janus’ back was turned towards the bush, more rustling came and out appeared a young teenager. He was tall and skinny, his vivid violet eyes hidden by the hood he wore over his head. The boy froze when he saw Janus and Remus. 

Remus was the first to move, diving for the boy. The boy screamed and held out his hands to keep Remus from flying straight into him. 

“Remus no!” Janus yelled. Remus stopped mid flight, suspended in the air as he stared at Janus. The boy went to run away but Janus muttered a spell to immobilize the boy. The boy struggled against the magic for a moment before seeming to give up. Janus walked forward, motioning for Remus to come and stand on the ground. 

“What are you doing in the forest, dear boy?” Janus asked, standing in front of the boy. The teenager’s skin was a tan color, partly from being out in the sun and partly because of its natural shade. 

“I was running away,” the boy said through gritted teeth. He was glaring at the two mythical beings in front of him, shifting his eyes between the two, unsure of who was the bigger threat. 

“Janny, I wanna feed him to my hellhound!” Remus whined, tugging at the witch’s arm. 

Janus shook their head. “No, we’re not killing him.” Both Remus and the boy seemed shocked. 

“Why aren’t you going to kill me?” The boy asked. “Not that I don’t appreciate it or anything, but he’s a demon,” his glance flicked over to Remus for a moment before returning to Janus. “And I’m assuming you’re a witch. And I’m in your forest.” 

“Correct, Remus here is a demon, an annoying one too. And yes, I am a witch. My name is Janus. 

“Now, as for why we aren’t going to kill you, even though you are in our forest. I guess you spark my curiosity. You said that you were running away, why?” 

The boy looked at the ground for a moment, seeming to consider if he should tell his captors.

“Be honest now, or I’ll let Remus do as he pleases with you. I won’t stop him if he tries to feed you to his army of hellhounds.” Remus clapped his hand in excitement. The boy gulped and looked up.

“I hated it there, the village I mean. I don’t have a family and basically the only reason they kept me around was for working. I don’t know where I’m going, just not there.” 

Janus thought for a moment. 

“What’s your name kid?” The boy seemed surprised that Janus had even cared to ask, but Janus just stared at him. 

“Um, it’s Virgil.” 

“Well Virgil, if you don’t know where you’re going, how do you feel about becoming a witch? Having an apprentice would be nice, an extra set of hands and commany for when Remus is too busy terrorizing someone.” 

Remus gasped from behind Janus, but they focused on Virgil, waiting for a response. Virgil gulped and nodded.

"I'll become your apprentice. Anything to not be fed to a demon's pet dog." Remus growled, but Janus ignored him. With a few words in an ancient language, Virgil was released from the spell and collapsed to the ground.

"Remus, I'd like you to make the delivery for me. I'll be walking Virgil back to my cabin. We can't have anyone else see a human in our forest." Janus commanded, handing Remus the potion. “And please don’t make Logan uncomfortable, he is a valued customer.” 

“Fine, but only because you asked so politely,” Remus said, running down the path, glass vial in hand. Janus sighed, they knew that it was highly unlikely that Remus would actually respect Logan’s boundaries, that’s just how Remus was. 

They turned back to the teen who was still sitting on the ground. Virgil was staring up at Janus, his face expressionless. 

“Why did you save me?” He asked.

“I have no idea what you are talking about. Now follow me.” Janus headed back towards their cabin, allowing Virgil to follow just a few steps behind him.

“You offered me the option to live. I’m human, why would you do that?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?”

“No, I don’t know. Something about you draws me in, interests me. But I’ve yet to put my finger on what that something is. I intend to find out though.” 

“So I’m some sort of experiment?” 

“If you insist on looking at it that way, then sure. But I think of it as an assistant with an interesting past that I intend to find out. Why do you keep asking, would you prefer death? It can be arranged.” 

Virgil stopped in his tracks. “No, I prefer this.” Janus turned around, facing the boy. 

“Then follow me and stop asking so many silly questions. Questions are for learning.” They turned back around and listened to the sound of Virgil’s feet hitting the dirt path as the boy followed along.

They approached Janus’ cabin, Virgil silently taking in the entire forest. When the two walked through the front door, Janus allowed Virgil to walk around and look at everything. They noticed how Virgil seemed to hang around the storage closet where Janus kept most of their potion ingredients. Virgil was inspecting the different labels, sometimes silently mouthing the names of the different herbs. 

Remus came storming into the building right as Virgil was settling down on the couch next to Janus. 

“I’m back!” He yelled in a sing-song voice. “Did ya miss me? How’s our new friend doing?” 

Janus looked to Virgil, who seemed surprised that he was expected to answer.

“Um, I’m doing fine I guess. As fine as a dude can be in this situation.” 

“You going to lay down some ground rules for him, Janny? So if he breaks them, I can feed him to my hellhounds?” Virgil visibly paled at the mention of the demon’s dogs, but neither of the adults paid him any attention.

“Yes, ground rules. First of all, don’t touch anything without permission. We don’t want you to accidentally cause an explosion. Second of all, you can’t leave my property without one of us, that’s for your safety. My garden is open to you whenever you want but outside my fence, if we aren’t there, we can’t protect you from any magical being you stumble across. And lastly, if I happen to have a customer over, it’s probably best that you stay upstairs. Again, this is for your own safety.” Virgil seemed to relax when he realized that the rules weren’t as bad as he originally thought. Remus pouted a little, realizing that he couldn’t actually feed the teenager to the hellhounds with these rules, but he knew better than to argue with Janus. 

“So I’m not a prisoner?” Virgil asked. 

Janus shook their head. “We’ve already discussed this, you are an assistant. And I’d like to make it clear that if you decide that magic isn’t your thing, you’re free to leave, go wherever you want. But I will not protect you.” 

“If you want to leave Jan’s boring potion making lessons, feel free to join me,” Remus said, sliding next to Virgil. Virgil laughed awkwardly.

“Join you?” 

“Gimme your soul and you’ll have everything that I have! Become a demon! It’s lots of fun, I promise.” 

“No trying to convert my assistant Remus. I doubt the boy is ready to give up his soul just yet.” 

“Yeah, I think I’ll keep my soul for now. I kind of like it.” 

Janus showed Virgil to the room that he would be staying in and told him that they would begin his lessons in witchcraft first thing in the morning. Right now, Virgil needed sleep. Janus insisted that it had been a very busy afternoon and that practicing magic while not being fully rested was a dangerous game. 

~

The next few weeks went by in a blur to Janus. What stood out to them about living with Virgil was how easily the teen picked up magic. It was like a second nature to him, Janus couldn’t help but wonder if Virgil actually had some mythical ancestry in his past that maybe, he didn’t know about. 

Virgil seemed to enjoy learning magic too, he was constantly asking questions about whatever Janus was working on and reading some of Janus’ old spell books in his free time. Remus wouldn’t stop bothering him about selling his soul, but now it was more of a joke, the subject didn’t bother Virgil as much.

And Virgil was really good at following Janus’ rules. He never went past the gates, which he claimed the very idea of heading out alone made him extremely anxious, and he always stayed in his room when there was a visitor, who was usually Logan. Virgil did spend a lot of time in the garden, choosing to read in the sun and warmth of the forest. 

One day, while Virgil was off somewhere reading and Janus was busy finishing a potion for Patton the fae, Remus slammed open the door.

“I’m home!” Janus rolled their eyes, used to the demon’s antics. “I brought company!” Remus dragged another person into the cabin. Janus immediately stood up.

“Logan! Hello. Did you come with another potion order?” 

Logan, the elf that Remus had been crushing on, was a very serious and simple person. He tended to stick to simple, practical clothes. A fitted navy blue tunic with pants and a half cape that didn’t get in his way. He wore glasses that matched his simple style. Even his accent, a traditional elven dialect, was crisp and simple. 

“I’m afraid not Janus. You see, I came here upon Remus’ request.” Janus turned and raised an eyebrow at Remus, who was bouncing up and down on his toes. 

“I convinced him to date me!” Remus said, holding onto Logan’s hands. 

Janus turned to Logan. “Blink twice if he threatened you into this.” Logan shook his head.

“There was no such threatening. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we’ve been spending more time around each other and I do not find Remus unbearable as others do. Quite the opposite actually, I find him quite enjoyable. He has a lot of interesting things to say and knows many things about topics I’ve never looked into.”

“You hear that, Janny? I have a boyfriend! I can’t wait for us to do things together! We can go on adventures together, create cool things, teach Virgil how to-” Remus cut himself off, realizing his mistake too late.

“Virgil?” Logan asked. “Who is Virgil?” 

“Virgil is no one, Remus is just being silly,” Janus lied, hoping that Logan would believe them. 

“I heard my name, is everything okay?” Virgil said, walking in from the garden, carrying an old spell book. He froze in his tracks when he saw Logan. Janus could see the anxiety rise up inside Virgil, knew that Virgil would probably have a panic attack any second now if this situation wasn’t taken care of immediately. But they didn’t know what to do. 

“Are you a human?” Logan asked, stepping forward. Virgil immediately took two steps backward, remaining silent. Logan didn’t seem to realize how scared Virgil was, continuing to walk towards him, backing Virgil into a wall as he examined the boy. “Goodness, you are human. How interesting.” 

Remus was the first one to truly react. “That’s actually one of my little demons in training! Not a human at all!” Remus had always been the worst liar that Janus had ever seen. 

“No, this boy is human, and quite an interesting one at that,” Logan mused, continuing to study Virgil. He noticed the book that Virgil was clutching to his chest.

“Can you read that? Understand it?” He asked. Unsure of what to do, Virgil nodded. His breathing was becoming rapid. 

“Fascinating. Can you brew potions, perform simple spells?” Another nod. Janus moved, slipping in between Logan and Virgil, motioning for Virgil to go outside. The teen obeyed immediately, sitting in the grass, out of sight of Logan. He focused on steadying his breathing. Janus would take care of this. 

“You can’t tell anyone he’s here. You know what some of them would do if they found out,” Janus pleaded.

“Don’t be ridiculous, he has just as much a right to live in this forest, just like every other mythical creature here.” 

Janus raised an eyebrow as the three adults moved to the couch. “What do you mean?” 

“Don’t you think it’s funny that a human boy can perform magic? And did you see what he was reading, those weren’t simple spells that he was studying. I think it’s more than safe to say he has witches’ blood. How ever did you find him?” 

Janus and Remus worked together to tell the story of how they found Virgil and brought him back to the cabin. Logan listened in rapt attention and thought a few minutes after they had finished telling the story.

“Did you ever figure out what drew you to him?” Logan finally asked Janus.

“No. For all I know, it was just chance,” they said. 

“I want to do some research back at my library, but I’m almost 100% sure that boy has witch’s blood in his veins. That would explain everything. Why he was drawn to this forest, why you decided to help him, why he’s so good at magic. I’m sure if you asked him, that would even explain why he decided to leave his home.” 

"So, Virgil can stay?" Remus asked. Logan nodded and Remus immediately moved so that he was sitting next to his boyfriend, as if he had kept space between them in case Logan said that Virgil had to leave. 

Logan left, insisting that he had to start immediately on his research into Virgil’s family history, leaving Janus and Remus alone. The moment that they were sure that Logan was gone, Janus ran into the garden, followed by Remus. 

The two adults found Virgil under a tree, tearing at the grass as if that would calm him down. He looked up when he heard them running towards him. Janus could still see panic in the teenager’s eyes. 

“I’m going to have to leave, aren’t I?” The sentence was like being stabbed through the heart with a sharp sword, Janus felt so much pain over it. Remus practically threw himself on the ground, pulling Virgil into a hug and holding him close. Janus joined the hug, keeping his own sobs at bay.

“You aren’t going to leave,” Remus said. Out of all of them, Remus was definitely the calmest in the moment, which was very strange. But Janus couldn’t focus on it at the moment. “If Janus tries to kick you out, I’ll feed them to my hellhounds and you’ll come with me.” 

“Of course I’m not going to kick you out or make you leave. If you want to stay, then I’d be more than happy to let you. You’re family by now.” Janus reached over and wiped a tear off of Virgil’s cheek. Virgil sniffled, trying to pull himself together. 

“But what about that elf?” Virgil asked between sniffles. “Won’t he try to get rid of me?” 

“Logan? He would never.” Remus looked slightly offended on his boyfriend’s behalf, but only slightly. 

Janus smiled. “He thinks that you’re like me. He thinks that you’re actually a witch.” 

Virgil’s jaw dropped a few inches. “But I’m human!”

“Virgil, do you know anything about your family? You never talk about them.” Janus knew that Virgil’s answer to this question could tell them more than all of Logan’s research put together.

Virgil shook his head solemnly. “I don’t know.” 

“Then I think it’s safe to say that the odds that one of your ancestors was a witch is very possible. Virgil, you’re the best student I’ve ever seen. You pick up concepts and skills quicker than anyone I know.”

“So I’m a witch?” Virgil looked at the spell book lying on the ground next to him with a new found appreciation.

“Quite possibly.” 

“Logan is looking into it right now,” Remus said. “He has a whole library full of books and he thinks one might contain a family tree that you should be a part of, if you aren’t already.” 

“So I can stay?” 

“Yes, of course you can stay.” 

~

“I’d like to see Virgil.” 

Janus looked up from their work, and made eye contact with Logan, who was standing in the front doorway. 

“Well hello to you too Logan. It’s a pleasure to see you in my house.” 

“This is important. I want to speak to Virgil. I think I may have found his family.” 

Janus dropped what they were doing, and immediately walked over to Logan. 

“You think so? Wow, that’s amazing.” 

“So can I see him?” Logan seemed slightly impatient, not unusual to him. Logan liked to know things, and not knowing things made him uncomfortable. Janus could tell that this was one of those moments where he didn’t know something and he expected Virgil to have the answers.

“I’m afraid that Virgil isn’t home right now. Remus took him down to hell to see the new hellhound puppies. I don’t know exactly when they’ll be back, but you’re welcome to wait here until them.” 

Logan nodded and thanked Janus before sitting down on the couch. Janus watched the elf for a minute, noting how his leg bounced in anticipation. For Logan’s sake, they hoped that Remus and Virgil would be back soon. 

~

The sound of two people shouting excitedly was what alerted Logan and Janus that Remus and Virgil had returned. Logan had been waiting on Janus’ couch for nearly an hour, sitting in silence with his leg bouncing. When he heard them, Logan practically leaped off the couch. 

Remus kicked the door open, floating inside. Virgil followed, excitedly explaining something to Remus, his hands waving around his head as he talked. He immediately stopped talking when he saw Logan.

“Lolo!” Remus said, throwing himself at his boyfriend. Logan kissed Remus quickly before turning back to Virgil.

“I’m sorry to spoil your conversation Virgil but do you have a moment? I’d like to talk to you, in private.” Virgil’s glance immediately shot to Janus, looking for an answer as to what was going on. Janus mouthed the word family and Virgil seemed to understand.

“Sure, yeah, would you like to walk in the garden or talk in my room?” Virgil asked Logan. Logan fidgeted with his glasses. 

“The garden is fine. This will only take a minute.” Janus and Remus watched as Logan followed Virgil out the door into the back garden. The moment that they were out of sight, Remus turned on his heels and demanded an explanation from Janus.

“Logan showed up to speak to Virgil about an hour ago,” They explained. “Said it had to do with his family. I can only hope that it's good news.” 

“Jan,” Remus sat down on the couch, his voice soft as if he was afraid to say what he was about to say. “What if Virgil finds his family? What if they’re nearby and he wants to live with them?”

Janus hadn’t even thought about this, but it made sense that Virgil would want to live with his real family, not with Janus and Remus. They sat down next to Remus, resting their head on the demon’s shoulder.

“I guess all we can do is support him. It’s his family, we don’t get to claim that title. He’ll probably still want to spend time with us.”

“And if he doesn’t? What if he prefers his new family, his real family, to us and never wants to speak to us again?” It was rare for Remus to worry about something, which indicated to Janus how much this was bugging Remus.

“Well, then we’ll just have to accept that. There’s nothing we can do.” 

They sat in silence for a minute, letting the thought of losing Virgil settle in their minds. When Virgil and Logan walked in the house, they both jumped up to greet them. Logan stood near the door in silence while Virgil walked over to the two adults.

“So, do you know who your family is?” Remus asked, hovering a few inches over Virgil. The teenager nodded. Remus sank down to the floor, leaning on Janus for support.

“Are you going to stay with them?” Janus asked softly. 

“My family was a line of powerful witches, but Logan says that nobody knows what happened to them. They don’t live in the forest anymore.” Remus stood a little straighter, hope glimmered in his eyes. 

“So that means you’re staying?” He asked. Janus tried not to smile, but he felt just as hopeful as Remus looked.

“I wouldn’t know where to start looking for my family. Besides, you guys are my real family now and I could never leave you.” Virgil wrapped his arms around both Janus and Remus, holding them close in a tight group hug. They hugged him back, both feeling full of joy and gratefulness. Remus looked up and motioned for Logan to join the hug, who agreed slightly reluctantly. The four of them were a family. An odd family, but a family nonetheless. 

~

“Virgil, if you don’t stir that right now, it’s going to explode!” Janus shouted, watching in horror as Virgil stood over the cauldron. Sure enough, the liquid in the pot let out a great popping noise as the room was enveloped in smoke and the two stood coughing. When the smoke cleared, the cauldron was empty, with a burnt smell coming from the bottom. 

“Sorry,” Virgil said, immediately going to clean up. He was laughing slightly at his mistake. Janus couldn’t help but smile, mistakes were rare with Virgil, he was so good at witchcraft. 

“Don’t tell Remus, he’ll be praising you for trying to kill us both and I don’t think I can live with that,” they joked, helping Virgil clean up. 

“Don’t worry. You know what Logan would say if he heard that I made such a rookie mistake? I’d never hear the end of it!” 

“Roman stopped by the other day, while you were out with Logan. He said that you and Remus were causing problems again.” Janus watched as the teen’s face turned a bright pink. Pranking with Remus had become a common pastime for the young boy, but Janus never found the heart to tell him to stop. Often, they found the silly tricks funny and couldn’t help but laugh at how Remus’ brother always reacted. Roman was quite a dramatic angel. If him and Remus got along, they would be quite a force to be reckoned with. 

“It’s not my fault! Remus was upset at something Roman said and he had the perfect revenge plan! I only used one spell and it wasn’t even that powerful!” Virgil defended himself but stopped when he saw that Janus wasn’t angry. 

“Just don’t get caught next time,” they warned Virgil. “I’ll have to tell the same thing to Remus. I swear, the two of you together are like two small children. I don’t know how Logan doesn’t go insane dating that menace.” 

“Did someone say menace?” Remus asked, popping his head through the front door. 

“Yes, we were just talking about you,” Janus said. 

“I knew it! I am the most menacing menace this forest has ever seen you know!” Remus floated into the house, followed by Logan, who was rolling his eyes at his boyfriend’s absurdity. 

“Are you all prepared for the family picnic?” Logan asked. Janus nodded, grabbing the large basket of food that they had prepared from the counter. 

“I’ll carry that!” Virgil said, grabbing the heavy basket before Janus could object. He had to adjust his hold on it a few times before he was comfortable carrying it, leading the way out the back door through the gardens. 

They set up the picnic under a large tree that was older than all of them put together. Logan took a few moments to tell Virgil about the tree’s magical properties, who listened in rapt attention. Janus would have listened, but he was busy stopping Remus from eating all the mini pies.

“You know, I’m glad I didn’t feed you to my hellhounds,” Remus told Virgil. “You’re a good kid.” 

“You could never feed me to them anyways, I’m too powerful and besides, they like me more than they like you.” Remus let out a dramatic gasp, offended. Virgil smirked, continuing to mock Remus. 

“You guys ready for lunch?” Janus asked. Everybody sat down and waited. Janus smiled at their friends gathered around on the blanket. He thought of how close they had grown, how many memories they had made. 

Janus held up a drink, indicating that they wanted to make a toast. The others followed suit. 

“To family, however strange we may be.” The others repeated the words and dug in. Once, Virgil looked up and smiled at Janus. Janus was sure that they would be speaking for everyone under that tree when they said that family was the best thing to ever happen to them. The odd, mixed family, with all of it’s magic, was probably the greatest thing in the world.

[scary-lasagna]

Toby, masky, hoodie almost killing their s/o?

Masky

You won't see him for the next 6 months.

Tim will feel so guilty, he won't be able to even look at you in the eyes.

You would think he'd recognize the difference between a random trespasser and a person who he's dated for the past year.

And he did.

Y'know, after he chucked a decent-sized rock at your head.

Luckily he missed and hit your shoulder, but Jesus Christ what if he hit your head?

He could've killed you on the spot, or given you brain damage, or put you in a coma for the next seven years.

But even if it's just your shoulder that's dislocated, Tim will break away from you.

He won't tell you where he's going, or how long he'll be gone.

Every day is a small sliver of hope, wondering if today will be the day he comes back.

You'll end up having to go out and find him.

He'll sniffle a little bit, in that old hotel as you comfort him.

He needs that validation that he's not dangerous to be around, even if you had a rock-shaped indent in your skull.

Hoodie

He'll make sure you're alright before doing anything stupid.

He'll tend to the knife wound, making sure it's clean of tomato before wrapping it up.

It's kind of hard to tell the tomato from the blood, though.

But the puncture doesn't slack up bleeding, and you were starting to look awful pale.

And then he realizes he stabbed you in one of the main arteries of your body.

The incident would be kind of funny if you weren't clinging on for dear life.

You two were making dinner, and your boyfriend was dicing tomato for the spaghetti.

You decided it would be funny to stick a dry noodle in his ear, and as a reflex, he went to swat your hand away.

Y'know with the knife-hand.

Hoodie rushes you to the hospital for surgery, and he stays by your side every minute.

But he never spoke a word except "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." and "I love you."

Not even on the way home when you asked if he was okay.

Hoodie will stay with you, but expect him to be emotionally distant for the next few months until you can pretend the situation never happened.

Toby

"What do you mean you're allergic???!"

Luckily, Toby carries his own Epipen in case he ingests any asprin, which he's severely allergic to.

And he slams the needle into your thigh like a metal chair.

In hindsight, you would have preferred the metal chair.

But the metal chair wouldn't have cleared your airway, so you'll have to deal with the giant bruise on your thigh.

He hugs you for a long time after that, rambling all sorts of apologies into your hair.

Toby will be much, much more careful what he feeds you.

Even if you did have a rare food allergy to Seasame Seeds, Toby will still check the ketchup ingredients in case someone snuck any in the tomatoes.

An extra Epipen stays in his pockets now, though, along with the 50 pounds of guilt he carries around on his shoulders.

You'll have to comfort Toby when he's fretting over checking the groceries after he comes home from the store, not sure if he read the label properly in Aisle 7 or not.

And he keeps second doubting if he checked everything and he ends up entering a loop that doesn't end until you drag him away from the pile of plastic bags and into your arms.

"I just don't want to hurt you again, I couldn't bear to lose you over something as petty as a shitty seasoning."

Toby hugs you a little tighter each night, just grateful you're here to hold against him.

[chrysalispen]

borealis #4 - nose

AO3 LINK HERE

there’s an extended scene i’m still working on for this, but there was a lot of stuff going on offline today (including internet blips) that ultimately caused me to leave off with the SFW version so i hope no one is too disappointed. XD

Prompt response is below the cut, as ever.

======

Perhaps the most self-evident observation that could be made of the small house nestled in its small copse in the Shroud upon first entry was that its adventuring inhabitant -- or inhabitants -- were either avid readers or wished any potential guests they might have to believe that was the case. The sitting-room with its tall shelves of books was immediately visible from the front entry, and one might be forgiven for assuming there was no possible way every tome on its shelves had been read.

In point of fact, the Warrior of Light was an avid reader when the subject fascinated her. However, this particular book was not the sort that normally caught her eye. She had only attempted to peruse its contents once, and that was yesterday when she had decided to outline today’s plan of attack. Last year, Nero had treated her to dinner - among other things - and she had completely forgotten the occasion. 

Well, she was not going to be caught unawares by the holiday this year. Today was Valentione’s Day and by some miracle, confluence of the fates, or what-have-you, she had managed to capture a small handful of days to herself in order to prepare. The flower arrangements were simplicity itself; those were already set on the table along with the gift she’d commissioned, wrapped neatly in its box- part of his gift, anyroad- and now all she had to do was see to the dinner. 

And the chocolates. 

...Aurelia wasn’t nearly as sure about the chocolates. 

Making them herself had seemed like a wonderful idea at the time, but she was starting to regret it. Warrior of Light or not, she really wasn’t what one would call the most accomplished culinarian, unlike Nero, who seemed to take the same meticulous approach to cooking as he did to his research and his engineering. He had grown up in a poor farming village, had learned how to make food alongside the grandmother who had raised him in order to help feed his family. 

Whereas Aurelia had- well. As the daughter of a wealthy landed gentleman - even if he was a younger son - her upbringing had been very different. Her lady-lessons had not included such things; the husband her family selected for her would have hired a cook and a housekeeper in the interest of keeping up appearances. And as a child, she had wanted to climb trees and grow flowers and be a scholar, the seven hells take sweating over a stove or bending over a distaff until her fingers ached.

Too late for regrets now, she supposed. 

Aurelia squinted doubtfully at the illustrated page, then back to the bubbling mess in the pot. It all felt rather simple, she thought. She’d never made truffles before, true, but only four ingredients? Surely she could do better than that. Chocolates with no embellishments seemed so-

“Well,” she muttered, “perhaps it’s fine if it’s a little uninspired.” 

Though on second thought, watching the cocoa melt down in the saucepan: perhaps some brandy wouldn’t hurt? Culinarians put spirits in sweets and other things all the time, and she remembered some treats she’d had in the Crystarium with Lakeland brandywine in them that had been absolutely amazing. 

With that decision made, she turned to make her way down the stairs towards her wine cellar, but the moment she set foot on the stairs, her linkpearl sounded off. Frowning faintly, she tapped the small device alongside the shell of her ear. 

“Yes?”

“Oh, Relia!” Tataru’s voice, perhaps just a touch too bright, chirped across the aetheric link. “So sorry to trouble you! I know you asked for no calls unless it was an emergency.”

“So I did. Is aught amiss?” She glanced over one shoulder as she made her way down the stairs towards the cellar door, too impatient and worried about the state of her cooking chocolate to pay much attention.

“Oh, not at all! This isn’t a work call, I promise. It’s just, er…”

Aurelia knew the sound of Tataru’s ‘I’m about to ask you for a favor’ voice when she heard it. “Go on.” 

“I was going through my measurement book for sewing patterns - for no reason whatsoever! - and realized I was missing one of yours. The, um, the bust.”

Her brows furrowed once more, this time in mild disbelief. 

“...The bust.”

“Yes.”

“Just the bust size is missing. Somehow.” Damn, where had she put that cognac?

“Yes.”

Right. Well, you're clearly up to something, old friend. 

She supposed she could grill Tataru for the details of whatever scheme she’d hatched, but attempting to pick apart the reasoning behind the Lalafell’s choice to call her with an extremely transparent lie would be better done while she was not preoccupied. In the meantime Aurelia didn’t see any harm in giving her a couple of measurements  - she had, after all, entrusted her with them once before. 

With this reasoning in mind, she rattled off the numbers as best she could remember them while squinting at the labeled bottles within the dimly lit rack. After a few moments of rummaging, she found what she was looking for just as Tataru piped, “I’ve got it. Thanks, Relia!”  

“You’re welco-”

The quick chime of a severed connection left her in relative peace and quiet once more. Which was strange in itself, because usually when Tataru was making a social call Aurelia could expect to be on the hook for a good half-bell of her time. 

But it was a question she could ask herself later. Right now she had chocolates to make. 

She trotted happily up the stairs, bottle in one victorious hand… only to see an alarming amount of smoke billowing from the stovetop. 

“Oh swiving Twelve- ” She made haste to the range and switched it off, then snatched one of the mitts from the nearby wall mount to wave back the smoke. Most of the pan’s contents appeared salvageable, thankfully, but it didn’t seem like enough. She wanted to make another batch, but if she didn’t have the extra ingredients-

Wait. I can just melt down some of the chocolate chips I saw in that bag in the dry pantry, can’t I? And just add the brandy in while it’s melting?

Aurelia turned towards the shelves of dry goods, somewhat cheered by the thought that she could spare herself a trip to the markets, at the very least. The bag was at the back of the very top shelf and she had to stretch a considerable bit to reach it, but she managed to pull it down without spilling any of its contents. 

She set aside the saucepan with its half-scorched contents, reached under the counter for a fresh pan, and poured in the chocolate, then paused. She probably didn’t need the cocoa butter if all she was doing was melting pre-made chips-- she’d have to pour in the cream while it was still hot but maybe that was fine, maybe it would even help melt the chocolate faster. Then “a splash of spirits,” whatever that meant. To taste, perhaps?

Hmm. Speaking of taste, which patisserie was it back in the capital that used to put chilies in their truffles...? 

Her good mood returned as she acted upon that stray impulse; she plucked one of the chilies from its bag and started cutting into fine pieces to add to the new mix. Of course, she might be getting a touch ahead of herself, but surely it would turn out alright in the end. These were all flavors she knew would work in chocolates so a little deviation here and there wouldn’t hurt.

The longcase chronometer in the parlor struck four just as she was stirring the pieces into the half-melted lumps. 

Hells. She still had to put the noodles on to cook and she hadn’t even started the sauce yet. If she wanted everything to be ready in order to spring her surprise, she’d have to work fast.

That was all right. She’d worked under far worse conditions before.

With a determined nod, Aurelia tucked a stray tendril of hair back behind her ear, turned up the heat on the cream until it began to bubble, and uncorked the cognac bottle. ~*~

Nero was not sure exactly what he should have expected when he opened the cottage door, but the smell of burnt sugar and the sight of a darkened kitchen was concerning, to say the least. 

He set the box that had been in his hands upon the nearby table (where, he noted, there was a wrapped box and a vase of fresh-cut flowers she had likely arranged herself) and ventured into the parlor. He found Aurelia sitting in one corner of the sofa, curled in a tight ball with her arms wrapped about her legs and her face buried in her knees. “Before you say anything,” she said, her voice muffled, “don’t.”

His brows arched. 

“That bad, is it?”

“You have to ask? You can surely smell it for yourself.”

“I can.” Though he knew it was unwise, he cracked a grin. “...Did you perchance fight an eikon in the kitchen? Is that my surprise?” 

Nero received precisely the answer he had expected for that particular bit of cheek: a sound swat to the face with one of the sofa pillows. He ouched as she drew her hand back and made an exaggerated face at her, but Aurelia didn’t take the bait. Instead she made a breathy, angry little hmph!, the sound muffled against her thighs, and tried to angle herself away from his perusal to face the apple-green brocade which covered the sofa’s frame. 

“Sweetling-”

“Don’t talk to me,” she huffed. “I’m angry.”

“Yes, I can see that.”

“I’ve made a mess of everything.”

“I don’t see how- well yes, alright, I suppose the kitchen is a bit of a disaster. But it’s naught that can’t be salvaged.” He sat down next to her and smelled chocolate and… something alcoholic. “What happened? You look absolutely gutted.” 

Finally she lifted her chin to look at him. Her blue eyes were very dark and very wide and shimmered with suspicious wetness.

"I was going to make dinner for you," she groaned. "I had flowers and a present and I was trying to make-”

“Chocolates.” Aurelia’s face was hard to see in the darkness but he could see her chin bob. “I take it something went awry.”

“A great lot of somethings. And then I was so busy trying to fix what had gone wrong that I burned dinner and-”

“Hush. Come here.” Reluctantly she let him untangle her from her sulk and pull her into his lap, like a tired kitten. “You know I appreciate the gesture, but it wasn't necessary.”

“Yes, it was!"

"How so?"

"I completely forgot last year. You went to all that trouble and I forgot. So I wanted to make it up to you. I thought if I could make it as special as possible-.... never mind.” Aurelia lifted her hands and stared at her chocolate-stained fingers with a disconsolate sigh. “...I’ll clean up the kitchen as soon as I’ve my wits about me.”

“You will do no such thing.” Nero kissed her on the nose, then gave it a tiny tap with his index finger. “You are going to go downstairs and run yourself a bath while I clean the kitchen- once I’ve dialed Mistress Tataru and thanked her for her very timely assistance, that is.”

So that was what that call was about! Seven hells, what had Tataru told him? The look on his face was that of a man hiding an extremely exciting secret, and she didn’t know whether to be apprehensive or curious.

Cautiously, she chose the letter. 

“Dare I ask?”

“You can ask all you like,” he grinned, that smile that was so often in turns endearing and infuriating. “Whether you’ll get an answer before I wish to give it remains to be seen.”

Aurelia sighed but felt her lips curve in a smile, some of her humor returning. “Surely cleaning the house was not on your docket for the evening.”

“Of course it wasn’t- but there's really only been a slight change of plans. Once you've had a chance to clean up, you're going to open that gift, and then I’m going to show you how to make proper chocolate-- and how to put it to far more interesting uses than homemade truffles.” Her cheeks felt ablaze with color, and as she watched a mischievous curl crept slowly into his smile. “One good turn deserves another, after all.” 

“Is this where I say ‘happy Valentione’s Day’ or somesuch?”

His lips brushed her cheek.

“It's a start,” he said. "And if it hasn't been happy thus far, I am quite confident I can make it so."

[the-acolytes-collection]

Rainy Days

SFW(Insinuation of NSFW)/1069 Words(nice)/Monster/Creepypasta x Human

You woke up gradually, the cold air in the room not able to penetrate the warmth trapped under the covers. But eventually, you were pulled into the waking world by a soft, repetitive sound. Turning towards the source, you found that the skies outside were grey and water trickled slowly but surely down the window pane.  Careful not to disturb the being behind you, you reach over and grab your phone from the bedside table, searching for the weather forecast. According to the screen, it was going to rain all day long.

‘Perfect’you thought to yourself, attempting to finally put your plan into action.

You had been wanting to treat your boyfriend, who had been running himself ragged with his job as a medic and as a being, feeding his hunger and needs. You knew he had been stressed lately, and wanted desperately to help.

So, after a few moments listening to his breathing and ensuring he was asleep, you made a quick but silent switch. You moved a pillow downwards as you slipped out of bed. Jack grabbed at the thing, sniffing it subconsciously, his instincts making sure you were still with him. The fact that the pillow was warm and smelt like you was enough to trick him. 

You tried to mimic your stealthy boyfriend, creeping quietly over the wooden floorboards until you got to the door. You opened it just enough to slide through and closed it quickly behind you.

You didn’t stop being tense, listening for any noise or movement coming from the bedroom, until you made it to the kitchen. Once you were sure you had made it out undetected, you let yourself have a few seconds to celebrate.

Then it was time to enact your plan.

You pulled frying pans and a griddle out as quietly as you could, which was made much easier thanks to Jack organizing the kitchen not too long ago. You turned to the fridge and surveyed the contents. You grabbed a package of bacon and a plastic bag, with strips of meat inside and labelled ‘Jack’, before turning back to the stove.

You laid out the strips of bacon on one pan to your left, and the other meat to the other on the right. 

Though you didn’t always enjoy the thought of what Jack had to eat all the time, you knew that it was necessary for him to survive. You also knew that he already beat himself up about it to begin with, so you swallowed any discomfort with love for your boyfriend.

You moved over to the pantry, grabbing a box of pancake mix and following the instructions. Add dry ingredients, add the rest, stir, then pour. You weren’t happy with the first batch, the few that came off burnt because you were busy with other things. But soon enough you had a plate of pancakes on the little, two-person dining table you called the dining room. The meats followed soon after, sitting on separate plates on either side of the pancakes. You had just washed off the fruit and prepared the knife when arms wrapped around your middle and pushed you against the counter.

“You left,” Jack grumbled into the conjunction of your neck and shoulder.

“I wanted to treat you. It’s the perfect day to stay inside and unwind.” You insisted, leaning back.

Jack hummed, kissing at a sensitive spot on your neck. “It would have been a treat just to stay in bed with you. You didn’t have to do all of this.”

“Oh hush.” You set the knife down and spun, kissing him. He held you tight against him as his tail curled lovingly around your leg. His lips were somewhat chapped, their pretty much constant state.

Once you pulled away, you looked up at him. No matter what size most anyone was, he was still massive by height standards. “I wanted to do all of this.” You smiled.

He kissed you again, and you melted. He pushed you into the counter more, but you stopped him before you both got too carried away.

“I made breakfast for you. Go eat.”

He chuffed, the sound coming from deep in his chest. You knew this sound meant he was trying to be rebellious, kind of like calling your bluff.

You turned around, deciding not to play into the little game, and started where you left off with the fruit. “Eat, Jack. I’ll be there in a moment.”

He chuffed again, but moved and sat down at the table. Once you were done with the fruit, you joined him.

After piling your plate with what you wanted, you looked at him in his seat across from you. He had a cut up a few pieces of meat and bacon, sandwiching them together. You also noticed a few bites taken out of the pancakes.

“How is it?” You asked casually, eating a bit for yourself.

He swallowed what was in his mouth before answering. “It’s great. It came from you, of course it’s great.” 

You smiled at him. “Thanks. I burnt a few of the first pancakes, so I’ll feed that and whatever we don’t eat to Seed later.”

Jack nodded in agreement, taking another bite of food.

“But,” he began, a smile starting to grace his lips. “I still would have liked it if we were in bed.”

You rolled your eyes, smiling all the while.  “Well, after this we can spend all day together in bed. How does that sound?”

Jack’s smiled widened, showing off his impressive sharp teeth. “It sounds wonderful. But darling, I don’t think we’ll be in bed all day.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and titled your head a little. “What do you mean?”

His foot playfully pushed yours a bit and his tail wound up your leg again. “We’ll be on the floor, and against the wall or the window, and, well, anywhere else you’d like, love.”

Your eyes widened a fraction, finally catching on to what he meant. He had a predatory smirk on his face as he watched the blood rush up your cheeks. After a tense moment of silence, you tossed a piece of fruit at him, hitting his face.

“Eat your breakfast first, pervert.” 

He laughed, flinging the fruit back at you. You giggled too, the sound of laughter bouncing off the cabin walls. Grey mornings weren’t so bad. Not too bad at a