#and it reminded me of the fans who were convinced she and Scott were having an affair for years and had secret children somewhere

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.

[hebuiltfive]

Specter: The Discovery

Ch.3 - Zero Hour

The last chapter (for the moment) inspired by the prompt given by @idontknowreallywhy (which we finally get to here!)

Chapter One on Tumblr; and on AO3. Chapter Two on Tumblr; and on AO3.

AO3 link for this chapter here.

01:48

His fingers curled into velvet-like fabric. As he fidgeted and stretched, slowly waking up from his unconscious state, Alan realised that the fabric was covering his whole body, from his shoulders down to his toes. It reminded him of his duvet back home, only this fabric was so much softer.

Did Grandma put too much fabric softener into the wash again? She occasionally did like to go overboard. Alan allowed the memory of Scott lecturing her on wasting product, and Grandma’s following retort about him and his love of hair gel, wash over him like a warm ray of sunshine. He smiled to himself, shuffling further under the sheet and deeply inhaling the floral scent of the softener—

Wait a minute…

It didn’t smell like Grandma’s usual lilac and jasmine at all. It was more… chemical. Sterile. Plain. Alan’s smile quickly morphed into a frown, his happy little memory fading fast.

“You do not need to be afraid, Alan.”

The same robotic voice brought him out of his sleepy daze instantly. Blue eyes blinked open rapidly and Alan was blinded by the harsh white lights that surrounded him. Despite the Voice’s reassurance, he could feel his heart rate climb.

Noticing he was linked up to various machines, Alan realised so too could the computer.

“Please, remain calm.”

Still groggy from his slumber, Alan mumbled his retort. “Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who’s just been kidnapped by some crazy robot in a bunker on the Moon.”

“You have not been kidnapped.”

“No? Then what would you call it?”

Alan shuffled himself into a sitting position. He glanced curiously around the room, at the various other beds that lined the walls, all neatly made and crisply white. He observed the machines that were stationed beside his bed. They monitored his vitals signs and made soft whirring sounds, reminding Alan of an old fashioned computer’s fan. Wires connected him to the machine from his chest and his head with electrodes. He tugged softly on one of the wires stuck to his temple but whatever glue they had used was strong. There was no subtle way of detaching himself.

“Please desist from interfering.”

Much to his own surprise, Alan did so. He dropped the wire from his grip and glanced up at the white ceiling. He wasn’t sure where the Disembodied Voice was coming from, or exactly who the voice was, so he directed his next line of questioning to the pristine tiles above his head. “Where am I?”

“You are in MediBay—”

“Yeah, I kind of figured that one out already. I meant, where am I? What is this place?”

The Voice did not reply. For a brief moment, the only sound echoing through the room was the machine to his left.

Alan rolled his eyes. “Fine, if you won’t tell me, I’ll find out myself.”

He pulled back the covers to find that his uniform had been swapped with a plain, white hospital gown.

“Where is my uniform?”

“Your clothes have been sent to Decontamination Bay Three.” 

“I thought you already decontaminated me? You know, the… thing with the box?” Alan’s memory was hazy still, but he was certain he remembered the glass containment unit that had sealed around him, the whoosh of chemicals that led him to being knocked out in the first place. “Which, by the way,” He began as he swung his legs off the side of the bed. “I’m still not convinced wasn’t some sort of poison.”

“I can assure you, the decontamination process is safe for all human life forms.”

“Coming from you, O Disembodied Voice, that doesn’t necessarily make me feel any better.”

The machine beside him screamed when he peeled off the electrodes. Red lights flashed around the MediBay, bathing the room in an eery glow, a stark contrast to the pristine colourlessness of the area moments before.

“Please desist from interfering.” The Voice once again commanded, only this time Alan did not listen. 

He jumped from the bed and eased his feet into the slip-ons that had been provided for him. Alan ignored how snug the slippers fit, how they were the perfect size for him, and marched towards the doorway. The steel handles felt like ice and, no matter how much Alan tried to pull the doors open, they wouldn’t budge.

“Let me out.”

“I am afraid I cannot do that, Alan.”

“This is isn’t helping me feel less kidnapped, you know?”

“Zero Hour has commenced. It is safer for you to remain in the MediBay while Zero Hour is in progress.”

Alan sighed, pushing down both his fear and his irritation. “What exactly is Zero Hour?”

Again, the Voice remained silent.

Again, Alan tried the doors.

“It is no use, Alan. All doors have been sealed. Lockdown has begun. Zero Hour has commenced. Please wait while Zero Hour is in progress.”

“I need to find my brother!” Alan blurted out. He had once learned to never reveal all your cards to an enemy, and though he was still unsure exactly what the Disembodied Voice was, he was inclined to treat it as hostile until he knew better, especially now it had essentially locked him away somewhere. Yet, there he was, willingly giving the Voice his Achilles Heel on a silver platter.

Scott had to have entered… this place, whatever it might have been. There had been no other entrances or exits out of those tunnels that had led Alan here. His brother had be within these walls, and Alan was determined to find him.

“Which brother?”

“Let me out!” He resorted to banging on the heavy doors. “Let me out right now, else… Else there will be consequences, alright? John… He’ll come down on you so hard that… that… you’ll wish you’d never been programmed in the first place!”

Alan knew his threats were weak, that they were here, there and everywhere. They mirrored his current thought patterns — hazy and fuzzy. Try as he might, and he was trying very hard, the fear that was bubbling away simply would not be squashed, and every second he spent trapped in that MediBay, the harder it became to keep his breathing steady.

“John Glenn Tracy is no longer aboard.”

His brows furrowed and Alan spun on his heels, facing the room. “How do you know that?”

“I do not understand. He signed himself out at—”

“No, I mean my name, my brother’s name… How do you know so much about us?”

The Disembodied Voice’s elected silences was beginning to frustrate Alan more than he’d care to admit.

“Either you tell me what I want to know, or you open this door right now.” Alan ordered with an authority he hadn’t known he possessed. Being the youngest of five meant he rarely had cause to use such a tone, but he was glad to know he had the ability within him.

At first, he wasn’t sure if the Voice would respect the ultimatum. Then, the doors unlocked with a sharp click and Alan restrained from allowing his satisfied grin to show.

“Caution! Zero Hour has commenced! Advisement: stay inside. Caution! Zero Hour has commenced! Advisement: stay inside.”

“I think I’d rather take my chances with whatever this ‘Zero Hour’ is, thanks.”

Alan pulled the doors open and stepped out into the corridor beyond. Unlike the MediBay, which was still bathed in red, the long passageway he was now faced with was lit in a soft, warm glow. It was far more preferable.

Cautiously, Alan began to stroll down the corridor, leaving behind the Disembodied Voice and it’s repeated mantra.

“Caution! Zero Hour has commenced! Advisement: stay inside.”

02:06

The unending corridors had left Alan feeling disorientated. Then again, that might have been due to him leaving that MediBay too early. Perhaps there was something in what the Disembodied Voice had been advising…

Alan cast a quick glance over his shoulders. The problem with this bunker — for he had decided on designating this vast network of tunnels as a more advanced version of the one he had originally found himself in — was that it was identical. Cold, stone metallic-grey walls and soft, glowing strip lighting… If Alan came to learn that he’d been going around in circles, it wouldn’t have surprised him.

Occasionally he came across a door, but each and every one had been sealed shut. With no distinguishable features of any kind, it was easy to get lost inside this maze of hallways. There was no way of knowing what his current position was. He had no map, no compass, no… anything. He had been strolling aimlessly for what seemed like hours and now he was thoroughly lost.

He supposed he could have tried to raise that Disembodied Voice again, to ask it some questions and hope it would assist him, but Alan was not-so-secretly pleased that he hadn’t heard the robotic voice since leaving the MediBay. To say he was unnerved by the system was a vast understatement. The more space he got between himself and it, the happier he felt.

Symbolically, anyway.

He still couldn’t shake the unease he felt over the Voice knowing his name. Enough of his memories had come back for Alan to remember how the system had welcomed him back to the chamber when he had first entered it. How that was possible Alan did not know. There was no logical conclusion he could draw, other than perhaps the computer taking a DNA sample from the biometric reader he’d accidentally touched.

But that didn’t explain why the Voice knew John’s full name too.

What else did the computer know about him? What other data was stored away here that might be used against him?

Then there was the fact that the Voice had claimed that John was no longer on board. Perhaps this wasn’t a bunker, then. But what else would one call something so vast and underground like this?

Alan had picked up his pace at some point and was now jogging down the hallways. His toes gripped at the slippers, willing them to stay on his feet. The more he thought about this place, about the connotations of what the Voice was implying, the more nauseated he felt.

Time was meaningless when one didn’t have a watch to hand. Alan couldn’t have been sure how long he’d been jogging, but it was long enough for him to need a break. He stopped and leant against one of the walls in order to catch his breath, which, in itself, proved to be a difficulty. 

Breathing in and out, in and out… and he still felt like he couldn’t get enough air in.

Alan gasped for more oxygen.

It didn’t help.

He was spiralling again.

With his back against the wall, Alan slid down to the floor. He pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around his knees, hugging them to his chest.

Nothing good will come out of anything if you keep panicking like this! Alan thought to himself, but he knew as well as anyone that trying to bury his fear would only make it grow more intense.

He reached for his wrist, where his communicator would normally sit, only to remember that he no longer had it on him. The Voice had taken his uniform to Decontamination Bay Three, or whatever, which made no sense to Alan whatsoever because how could the Disembodied Voice change his clothes…?

A cold shiver ran over Alan’s body.

Was there someone else ‘on board’? If so, why hadn’t the Disembodied Voice informed him? It could have been Scott, but Scott wouldn’t have been helping the Voice.

Unless he had no other option.

��Do you require assistance, Alan?”

Alan jumped out of his skin. He hadn’t been expecting to hear the Voice again so soon and, given his latest spiralling thought, he wasn’t sure it was welcomed.

“Do you require assistance, Alan?” 

The Voice questioned again, louder this time as if it thought it had gone unheard.

It made Alan wince.

“No!” He yelled at nothing in particular. “Leave me alone!”

“Zero Hour has commenced. I cannot leave you alone.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“… I do not understand—”

“Forget it.”

Silence descended. Alan was sure he’d never felt so isolated. He knew the Voice was probably still lurking — had it been stalking him since he’d left the MediBay after all? — and he had his suspicions on there being at least one other person around if he didn’t count his brother, who he refused to believe would be helping the Voice, and that missing miner, of course, who Scott had been searching for, but still Alan felt deeply alone.

“Hey, Disembodied Voice? Are you still there?”

“My programmed name is Molly.”

Alan’s lips involuntarily quirked upwards. “We used to have a dog called Molly, years and years ago.”

“What is your request, Alan?”

Alan snapped back into action. “I’m looking for my brother.”

“John Glenn Tracy is no longer onboard.”

Alan nodded away the repeated line. “Yes, I know. You told me that, but I’m not looking for John. I’m looking for Scott. He’s just over six foot tall, has chestnut hair… He would have been wearing a similar uniform to the one that I was in but his had a grey sash instead of red. Did anyone like that pass through here?”

For a minute, it seemed like the Disembodied Voice — Molly — had chosen to remain tight-lipped once again. Then, presumably after searching the records, she replied.

“Scott Carpenter Tracy. Pilot. He has been taken to MediBay Seven.”

He felt a rush of relief. Scott was here. Alan wasn’t entirely lost. There was still a chance of finding him.

The relief was quickly overshadowed when Alan digested the news of where his brother was.

“MediBay…? But I was in the MediBay. There was no-one else there.”

“You were in MediBay Eleven. Scott Carpenter Tracy is in MediBay Seven.”

“Why would you split us up?”

“The risk of contamination was too great. Separate entries are treated separately.”

Alan pushed aside his frustration of having been so close to Scott without realising it. “Can you take me to him?”

“Visitors prohibited. Zero Hour had commenced.”

Alan scrubbed a hand down his face. “That isn’t what I asked. Can you take me to him?”

“Visitors prohibited—”

“If you talk about Zero Hour one more time, without telling me what—”

“—Zero Hour has commenced.”

Rising to his feet, and with a more noticeable spring in his step, Alan began to traipse back the way he came. “Fine! If you don’t want to help me, I’ll find him myself. MediBay Eleven can’t be too far away from MediBay Seven, right?”

“Warning: action discouraged.”

“Yeah, well, Tracys are stubborn. I will find my brother, Zero Hour or whatever be damned.”

02:37

Alan had been certain he’d been going the right way, that he had been retracing his steps perfectly, but he couldn’t even find the MediBay he’d been put in, let alone wherever Scott was supposed to have been. Maybe he’d taken a right somewhere when he should have carried on straight ahead, or taken a left too late? Either way, he was beginning to feel tired. He stifled a yawn as he slowed to another halt. The balls of his feet were aching, his legs thankful for another break.

Behind him, he heard the rustle of fabric. Alan span around to face whoever was approaching…

Only there was nobody in the great expanse of the corridor in front of him. He sighed in partial relief. Was he starting to imagine sounds? Or was that the ominous other?

“… Molly?”

“Yes, Alan?”

“Am I close to the MediBays?”

“Visitors prohibited.”

Alan groaned. “Why?! Why are visitors prohibited? What’s so bad about Zero Hour? What is it?!”

“Information classified.”

It was a better response than the eery silence that Alan was used to expecting when it came to Molly, but it still frustrated him.

“Classified by who?”

“On-duty Medical Officer.”

“Who is that?”

“Information classified.”

Alan squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe the eery silence was better after all. “You’re useless.”

“Feedback recorded.”

“No, it wasn’t…” He sighed, over-exaggeratedly in the hope that Molly understood his annoyance. “Alright, what about this? What if I tell you that I’m not trying to find Scott? What if I say I want to go back to my MediBay instead? I’m listening to your advice and I want to return to MediBay Eleven.”

“Take the next left. Follow straight. Turn right after three hundred yards. Take the elevator down to the fifth level. Follow straight. Turn left after sixty yards. Follow straight. Turn left after seven hundred yards. MediBay Eleven is named.”

Alan set off immediately, ignoring the pain in his calf. Whatever was causing his exhaustion, whether it was the time or simply the excessive exercise after being unconscious for however long, Alan knew he would need to rest soon. Perhaps going back to his own bed in the MediBay was a good plan. If he could nap, or even just take five minutes to himself on a semi-comfortable bed, maybe he’d be able to come up with a way to get Molly to help him find Scott after all.

02:52

He followed the instructions, managing to remember almost all of the directions without having to ask the thin air which way was next, and soon he found himself on the familiar floor of the MediBays.

Multiple.

He could see his own, still bathed in that red glow. It leaked out of the room and into the hallway, a diagonal line across to the other side of the corridor and highlighting one room in particular.

Seven.

Scott.

Alan disregarded Molly’s previous warnings, her previous orders of staying away, and dashed towards the door. He tugged on the handle, willing the door to open, but much like his own MediBay doors had been, Scott’s were locked tight.

“Caution: Action discouraged. Please cease trying to gain entry.”

Alan ignored Molly’s words, continuing his attempts to open the door.

Molly repeated herself and, as before, raised the volume. “Caution: Action discouraged. Please cease trying to gain entry.”

“Quit telling me what you advise and just open the door.”

“Caution: Action discouraged. Please cease trying to gain entry.”

“My brother is in there!” Alan yelled. Any hesitation he had in trying to keep his secrets to himself faded. He no longer cared. He was tired and he was hurting and he just wanted his brother. He sighed, shoulders slumping. “I don’t know where I am. I don’t know where Scott is. If I’m being honest, I won’t believe he’s behind these doors until I see it with my own eyes. I don’t know who, or what, you are. I just want to find my brother and go home. Molly, please, let me in. Let me see my brother!”

“I do not understand. You are home.”

He was too exhausted to question Molly over whatever the hell that meant.

Alan shook his head. “No. No, I’m not.”

“Information incompatible.”

“Molly, please open the door.”

“Negative. I cannot.”

“Oh, forget about Zero Hour, will ‘ya?!”

“I cannot open the doors to MediBay Seven. System overridden.”

Alan blinked, flinching when the doors behind him unlocked with a loud click regardless of Molly’s words. He pushed the door, opening it a crack.

“Action discouraged. Alan, I did not open the door.”

“And that matters why? You weren’t going to open it anyway.”

Disregarding Molly’s warnings, as he had done the entire time he’d been trapped within the walls of this bunker, Alan proceeded.

Compared to the corridor outside, it was dark. Shadows of objects were hidden within the shadows of the gloomy, unlit room. Alan stepped carefully. His eyes needed to adjust. He had to take it slow.

“Scott?” He whispered. “Scott, are you here?”

“Alan, I advise against this.”

Again, Alan ignored the voice. All Molly had been trying to do was hold him back. For all he knew, Molly could have been some evil AI, desperate to keep him and Scott apart for some reason. He still remembered the trouble EOS caused them a couple of years back, still had the occasional nightmares of being too late in finding John.

He wasn’t about to let his nightmares become a possible reality with Scott.

“Scott?” Alan called out again, a little louder this time. “It’s Alan. Are you… are you in here?”

“Alan, it is not safe for you in here. Zero Hour is still—”

Alan whirled around. The fear that had been harbouring in him turned into anger, boiling away in the pits of his stomach and erupting out of his mouth like he was Mount Vesuvius.

“Leave me alone!”

“I cannot, in good faith, do that.”

“What do you know about good faith? You’re a robot. You don’t understand.”

“I understand more than you currently do.”

The scoff was as brutal as Molly’s retort but Alan didn’t care. “Go and understand it somewhere else then, will ‘ya? I’m sick and tired of hearing your voice!”

Molly went quiet. Whether or not she had actually left, Alan couldn’t be sure. 

He didn’t care.

As his eyes adjusted to the dark room, he noticed there was an area that had been sectioned off. Walls topped with glass allowed him to peer in but, at this distance, Alan could make out nothing more than shadows. He approached cautiously, manoeuvring himself around an upturned chair and a machine that was almost identical to the one Alan had been hooked up to, which had been pulled out from its position by a nearby bed.

“Scott?”

Behind the section Alan heard a small whimper, like a wounded animal. He rushed behind the screen, his heart breaking at the sight of his eldest brother cowering in the corner of the room. Glass bottles had fallen from an overhead cabinet and smashed on the floor around him. The shards crunched beneath Alan’s slippered feet as he crouched beside his brother.

Scott was shaking like a leaf, staring at the far wall as though he’d seen a ghost. Alan reached out to grab his hands. They were cold to the touch, quivering uncontrollably beneath his palms. Alan gave them a squeeze and Scott’s eyes darted from the wall at the other end of the room to Alan’s. Blue met blue and Alan couldn’t recall a time he’d ever seen his eldest brother look so terrified.

“Hey… I’m here. I’m here.”

The questions about what the hell happened could be asked later, once they were out of whatever place this was. Alan couldn’t even recall the final missing miner that had led them both down that hole. He only had the capacity to worry about Scott.

He didn’t let go of his hands. No matter how much Alan tried to stop them shaking, Scott continued to tremble.

“Let’s get out of here.” Alan suggested, urging Scott to stand with him.

Scott shook his head, remaining in his seated position. “Alan… We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Did you not see her?”

“Who? Molly? Nah, she’s just a voice. She can’t stop us from leaving.”

“With respect, Alan,” Molly chirped up out of nowhere, “it is not me your brother is referring to. I believe there has been a miscalculation in my data banks.”

Alan sighed. For the sake of his brother, he tried not to yell. “I thought I told you to leave.”

Scott’s hands were suddenly vice like around Alan’s. He tried not to wince. 

Footsteps alerted him to the newcomer. Soft clicks across the linoleum. Alan had suspected there was another there, helping Molly, he just never expected to see that face.

Her face.

The face Alan could only recognise from photographs and not from his own memory.

Her blonde hair, currently up in a neat bun, was darker than it looked in the pictures. Alan blamed the holograms for blurring the colours. He could see why people said John took after her the most. She had her hands in the pockets of her lab coat, smiling down at both of them as though she hadn’t been dead for almost fifteen years.

“Zero Hour is complete.” Lucille Tracy told them. “You’re both safe now.”

[eras-mus]

Hello ! I'm the (old ?) Anon of Ace x hate people!reader. And I wanted to say that it was great, like the writing >>

Anygays, I'm not here for that, I'm here for another ask (who would have guessed it ?)

A Wallace Well!male or gn reader meeting for the first time a Diasomnia boy (you can choose the one).

Ignore it if you don't want to write it.

-Grimy

I'm not a Scott Pilgrim fan so I'm sorry if the personality isn't right :(

‡Diasomnia x Wallace Well! GN! Reader‡

I tried writing in second person

Written with a male reader in mind

Sorry this took me a while!

Should I do more fics like this?

†Sebek Zigvolt

he hates you-

But he loves you?

He thinks your rude, obnoxious, and unfunny

Okay, he thinks your funny

But you will never catch him laughing at your jokes

Will tell you to stop gossiping

Please don't drink around him

This is for your sake, he'll start yelling at you

He refuses to use your credit card, even if you tell him you don't care

Doesn't understand why you let your friends spend all of your money

-

The two of you were walking to class together, he had gotten off duty early this morning because, according to Lila, "Your suffocating this entire dorm and your only guarding Malleus".

So there he was, walking down the hall with you trying to find the words to tell you his thoughts but only managing to be a stuttering mess.

"You like me don't you"

"EH- HOW DID YOU KNOW!"

-

†Silver

He likes sharing a bed with you, nothing inappropriate, just sleeping

He thinks your warm and nice to cuddle with

Honestly, he probably knew he loved you because you are so willing to let him fall asleep in your bed, even before you were dating

He doesn't really care if you drink around him, just don't get drunk

Loves you since of humor but he won't burst out laughing

Loves spending nights at your dorm

Lilia gets on his ass about it (in the teasing way)

Hates you spending money on him

He's such a gentleman

You the only reason he knows the drama at school

-

"Silver! There you are, I was so worried"

"Fa- Lilia! What happened?"

"You didn't come home! Are you okay? Did you fall asleep and get lock in one of the classrooms again?"

"No! I was just in y/n's dorm."

"Of course you were, I should've just guessed"

"WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

"Aren't you two dating?"

-

†Lilia Vanrouge

Finds you super funny

You try to convince him to grow his hair out

He would either hate you drinking or drink with you

"You youngsters and your jokes"

Will be your sugar daddy instead of the other way around

Made it super obvious when he took an interest in you

You remind him of the youth he wishes he had

loves gossiping with you

Malleus wasn't sure about you at first

-

"Are you sure about this child of man?"

"It's not like they can kill me"

"They might hurt you :/"

"I went through a gruesome war, they're not going to hurt me"

-

†Malleus Draconia

Doesn't understand all of you jokes

Thinks your funny when he understands

He loves it when you invite him out

Please send him a card when you do so

He will collect all of them

Your the only reason he ever knows what's going on

If Lilia was a good sugar daddy, he's the best

He's confused about how you talk to you friends

-

"Can you believe Ace ever had a girlfriend" You said to Deuce, whispering loud enough for Ace to hear you.

"I can see why she broke up with him"

"I can see why he hasn't had one since"

Ace eventually started yelling at you and Deuce, while y'all laughed, Malleus just sat there trying to figure out how it was funny.

[finsterhund]

More on conventions

Sorry last night I said I would go into more detail but I just checked on my plants and then passed out.

I did not go to the con today. Roommate left without me. He tried to convince me for a bit but ultimately I think he understood I’m just not feeling well.

Kept being reminded of Cazza. There was a vendor selling homemade ice cream and treats for puppy and my brain legitimately defaulted to “too bad Cazza isn’t here (as in alive but not at the con) because I could have bought it and given it to her right then and there” and then it hit me that she wasn’t here not because she hadn’t been publicly certified yet but because she was dead and she was never coming back and then the vendor started a conversation with me while I was just reeling and I struggled to talk and eventually said that at the end of the day on the last day (Sunday) I’d come back and buy something for Scott (who unlike Cazza is alive) and that just broke me.

It was also way too hot lol.

Artist alley was so small. And there was barely any 2D artists especially ones doing commissions. I don’t know if the way artists at conventions are has changed since covid but that was the sorts of art I looked for at cons. There were multiple 3D printing artists and multiple custom dice makers which made me feel bad because they’re all so good but are in direct competition with each other. Saw a really cool dice tower that was 3D printed and had moving parts but I don’t do tabletop in real life anymore so I wasn’t tempted.

there was a whole area that the 501st Legion set up which was really cool.( I need to get better photos tomorrow (spoilers) to show) and somebody was cosplaying Anakin which was the highlight of my con. There was also somebody from astromech.net driving their incredible RC build of Artoo around the artists alley and having him look at tables which was the sweetest thing and cheered me up a lot. Got photos of him about to have a showdown with the Chatter Phone. (R2D2 would win a fight with the skinamarink entity by the way) The actress who plays Bo Katan was at the con but I don’t want to be all sweaty and gross from overheating around cool actors I admire so I didn’t go to a meet and greet thing. But it was cool she was here in the middle of nowhere lmaooo

Oh also I saw a really cool cosplay of Din Djarin and said hi. I forgot my phone to take photos around I really should have I know I promised to take photos. But tomorrow hopefully. Lots of detail in his cosplay not just the armor. Had a really realistic Grogu also. Was not animatronic in any way but more realistic than toys.

My prop boxcutter was wildly impressive apparently. Almost didn’t get it past prop check. Had to peel back some of the metallic tape to prove it was made from a transparent fast food lid. People thought it was real. A professional cosplayer complimented me. So that was a bit of a bragging rights. I felt bad though because I didn’t want anyone to feel threatened at the con so I didn’t bring it around everywhere. Similarly decided to have blood dripping from (the eye most fan artists assume is the one Kevin injured) and the makeup turned out well. I should have gotten some photos with star wars cosplayers with my cosplay but once again, just not on top of the ball. I feel I’d be more in my element if I did the Kevin cosplay at a horror con and since my roommate wouldn’t be tabling I could only go in for a short while. I’d like to go to a con where Kyle Edward Ball was and idk get him to sign something. Preferably when it’s cooler so I’m not approaching an artist I admire after suffering from heat stroke.

So there was some cool stuff. It wasn’t a bad convention. It’s a very good con. There’s lots of cool food vendors around too. But that makes it all the more apparent that I’m having problems.

It seems I have just lost my enjoyment of cons. No clue if it’s temporary or not but grieving Cazza I just don’t get the wonderment and excitement like I used to pre covid.

I am planning to go tomorrow. Both because I get to go to these cons in the first place because I’m the muscle behind set up and tear down of roommate’s artist alley table and because I wanted to get photos and support a couple of the artists who were here but yeah. I’m just I wouldn’t even say burned out. Just not feeling it.

It’s a not very good feeling to know that something I loved so much is now seen as a chore.

I know this should be expected. Next month is “the anniversary” and I am dreading how I’m going to handle that. But my comforts “not working” is scary and depressing. I tried a lot and in the end I just feel grief overpowering anything and everything.

It’s a good thing I stayed home today because I think Scott must have eating some of the rabbits’ hay and thrown up a little on the carpet which I cleaned up. Which reminds me of the days leading up to Cazza’s death and upsets me further.

I gave Scott his big bone so he would have something to do while we are at the con. So I guess he can also be distracted enough that I can get caught up on my reading without him bothering me now provided I can get into the right mental space for it.

[castielgurl]

Football is a game, Love is like a battlefield

Romanogers Week

Prompt: Enemy to lovers

Natasha Romanoff is a football player of Russian descent. Red-haired with a dreadlock style, she likes to wear piercing on her nose and hates makeup. She likes to change the color of her hair, sometimes braided or even short hair exactly like a man. She is very fierce and does not care about negative comments on her Instagram page. As a famous female soccer star, she is often the victim of attacks by male soccer fans. They said she shouldn't play football, it's better to stay in the kitchen. Just because she’s a women’s soccer player. Natasha is often involved in anti-social media bullying campaigns.

 Natasha is now at the peak of her career. She has joined the big London -born club Chelsea Woman`s FC with the highest transfer value in the market. Has won the Women's English Premier League. Won the European Cup with her country Russia. She is a midfielder who is the team captain for her club and country. Natasha has just been awarded European Player of the Year. Natasha is a person known for her assertive leader character and violent style of play. However, Natasha's life changed forever when she met her future husband.

 Steve Rogers had a bad boy image. Even so, he became a young girl’s craze pretending to know about football. Because he is a tall, lean body, six-pack, white skin, blonde hair. Every time he played football, the girls would scream like they were hysteria. Steve has of course been dating a bunch of beautiful women from models to a famous actresses.

 Like Natasha, Steve is also a world-famous football player. He represents Chelsea FC, has won the Premier League title three times. Won the Champions League with Chelsea with him as the top scorer. Steve also represented his country USA at the World Cup. He is the captain of his club and country team. Steve is a striker who is known for his fast running style and energy as strong as a bodybuilder. Steve has won World Player of the Year twice.

 Because they play at the same club. The two finally met on the training ground. The training fields for male and female players are only separated by a fence. Since the two of them have opposite characters of course disaster is about to happen.

 It all started just because of a ball. Steve was challenged by his teammates for a crossbar challenge he kicked too hard accidentally falling into the women’s training field area. The ball, unfortunately, hit right on Natasha's head. Natasha's face flushed with anger. She then shouted and ask who kicked the ball earlier. Natasha took the ball, she knew the ball did not belong to the women’s team. Natasha went across the fence to the men's field area and kicked the ball hard against the body of one of the male players. He was not in pain but the player turned around.

 “Who is the dumbass who kicked the ball? You better talk now! ” Natasha's voice was fierce.

 "Eh, why are you shouting. Are you on your period? ” The blonde man laughed cynically.

 Natasha was very angry, not that she didn't know who the player was. Steve Rogers aka football Hollywood star. But Natasha didn't care who he was.

 “Are you too stupid? Don't know how to play football? Why do you kick the ball and hit people`s heads? You want my feet to reach your face? ” Natasha insisted on fighting even though she is too tiny and Steve was six feet tall.

 Steve laughed when he heard this little woman scold him. He was not immediately intimidated by Natasha's threats. She was like a puppy that barked loudly but was too cute. This woman with dreadlock hair reminds him of rapper Snoop Dog.

 “This is a football field, what do you expect? of course, the ball flying everywhere why are you so angry? If the ball hits your face that's a good sign. At least it can fix your face” Said Steve as his friends laughed as well.

 Natasha's face grew red. Then she tries to elbow Steve's. Steve wants to fight back but his friends stop him. They said he only looked like a coward if he hit a woman. Steve assured his teammates he would not use the physical.

 "You are too rude. Do you think you're good-looking? I know guys like you, playboys, and sleep with a lot of women. But the fact is you are nothing. No one loves you. They are just riding on your success. ” Natasha stared sharply into Steve's eyes. That's when Steve slightly faded his ego. Because the green woman's eyes were so beautiful Steve admitted it. But he returned with his ego.

 "I am not afraid of you. Your body is small. I can carry you and keep you in my pocket ”said Steve with a cynical smile.

 "You start first. Why don't you just apologize? ” Natasha doesn't understand.

 "If you are still not satisfied. What do you say we play a game? Whoever wins will have the right to ask the losers to do what they want. ” Steve wanted to challenge her.

 "What game?" Natasha asked

 “We play matches with five players per team like 5-A Side. We play on the East End outdoor field boys versus girls. What do you want to say? ” Steve is sure Natasha did not back down from a challenge.

 “Well, we will meet tomorrow at 5 after training. But you have to do what I want. Don't begging when you lose later ”Natasha did not hesitate to agree. She wanted to teach this man a lesson.

 "Fine, I will see you tomorrow Snoop Dog," Steve said while laughing at Natasha's reaction.

 Natasha’s teammate asks her if she seriously wants to fight with the men’s team. Natasha is sure they can win.

 "Nat, are you sure about fighting with male players. They are not ordinary players. They have just won the European League they are World-class players. Steve is a highly-skilled player. ” Her friend Yelena tries to change Nat's mind.

 "Hey, don't be afraid, we are also the best team in Europe. Male and female players are the same. What matters is the strategy to win. We are equal with them. After all, Rogers needs to be taught a lesson. If his team loses he and his team must wear a drag queen costume. Imagine how funny that is. ”Natasha was convinced

 "I think Steve is hot. How can you talk to him, if it happens to me I will be speechless ”said Yelena who is a Rogers fan

 “Hey, don't you see that asshole? You didn't hear him call me Snoop Dog. ”Natasha cannot believe Yelena.

 Yelena continued to laugh out loud. She admits it's very funny. Yet Steve spoke the right thing. Natasha is not good at dress up. Many times Yelena wants to do a makeover with Natasha. But she rejected it because she thought the way she dressed was not important because the performance is what matters.

 “Really? You laughing. Well, his face is not bad. But on the condition that he cannot speak up. On his forehead he should be written Jerk, then people will stay away from him ”Natasha really hated Steve's sloppy mouth.

 "Nat, you have to be careful because too much hate can lead to love" Yelena teased

 "Hey you don't see us anymore we are the worst enemies from the past life"

 The next day.

 Natasha has selected five players including herself Maria, Wanda, Yelena, and Hope to represent her team. While Steve chooses Bucky, Sam, Scott, and Clint on his side.

 "You call me Snoop Dog, I also have a bad name for you" Natasha and Steve meet in the middle of the field before the match starts

 "What is it?" Steve stood with his hands on his hips

 “Barbie Kent. If your team loses you have to wear a women’s dress to the training session. You will definitely lose ”Natasha said confidently

 “Woww you are playing dirty now huh?. If your team loses you and your friends have to wash my car in a bikini ”Steve said with a smirk.

 Natasha should teach this man a lesson.

 Natasha’s team took the lead with a goal from Wanda. Steve initially wanted his friend’s not to play rough because they were girls. But after the goal, Steve told his teammates to use their full strength. After that, a lot of fouls ensued. Steve's team managed to score two goals from Steve`s. The match was not the most interesting but various incidents of fights between Steve and Natasha quarreling over various issues. Everyone was so depressed to see them both throwing hurtful words at each other. The sexual tension between them is very obvious. Before the end of the match, Natasha successfully scored an equalizer. She jumped for joy in front of Steve. Yet drama ensued when Natasha’s team asked the referee to consider a penalty when Bucky tackled Maria inside the box but was objected to by Steve. Eventually, they quarreled and everyone else was only able to see them quarrel. All the players have given up and just want to end the match. The result of the match ended in a draw. No one loses no one wins.

 “Why don't you two go in the room and just make love? Seriously that's the solution to your problem, ”Scott told them

 Their reactions were both disbelieving and showing disgusted faces thinking they were both going to have sex. Natasha definitely wants to vomit. Eventually, they returned to their respective homes feeling dissatisfied.

 Then every day Natasha bumps into Steve. Because they practice in the same building. Somehow every day will definitely come across. Natasha wanted to avoid seeing Steve's arrogant face. They will meet before entering the training ground, in the club cafe, in the gym, in the parking lot, in the elevator. Wherever they will surely meet. Every time Steve would tease Natasha he deliberately wanted to make her mad. Call her Snoopy, and ask when she will release a new rap song and so on. Of course, Natasha hates Steve’s jokes. Natasha will also ask where he is partying with the barbies.

 Steve's day was not complete if he didn't see the redhead's face every day. Natasha's face flushed when she was angry, her husky voice when she grunts, he loved hearing Natasha fight back when Steve teased her. She was a bit funny when angry, she was a little fierce but she looks cute when her face was red, she will bite her lips when she felt disgusted with the words Steve threw, it was a sexy lip for Steve. Also, her tiny size when trying to standing on her toes. Steve has met many pretty women, yet Natasha catches his eye. Natasha is not the same as other women. Honestly, Natasha is very beautiful but if she changes her appearance, surely many men will chase after her. Steve imagines she wearing a red dress with curly hair for sure he will be mesmerized. She is just as passionate about football as he is. Most of the girls he met were not interested in football. Steve searches all the information about Natasha on the internet and stalks her Instagram. His teammates knew Steve had lost his mind over the red-haired woman.

 But the question is does Natasha want to accept him? And how does he get started? The woman must have hated him so much.

 Then the football season is about to end, all the players will take a summer vacation. After that, they will join the national training camp in preparation for the World Cup. The Chelsea club hosted a Gala Night to award the club’s best players for the season. This season the club combines an awards ceremony for the men’s team and the women’s team.

 When Natasha Romanoff’s name was announced as the Women`s Player of the 2021 season she took on the stage. Steve and all his teammates were speechless as she wore a sexy red gown. Her hair was styled in a curled and she ditched her piercing. She's the most beautiful woman Steve has ever seen. Steve starts to feel jealous because all the men are focused on her. Steve doesn't like other men looking at his women.

 After Steve received the best player award for the third year he wanted to take his boots in the club boot`s storage room. But something unexpected happened Natasha was also there. Natasha thought Steve was going to make a nonsensical joke because of the dress she was wearing tonight. Natasha hates wearing it she was forced by Yelena. Yet Steve didn't say anything to her surprise.

 “Why don`t you say something, like a bad joke? Yelena picks this dress ”Natasha expected a response from Steve.

 “Why should I do that? Do you want me to fight with you until we are both old? ” Steve continued to pick up his boots on the top rack.

 Natasha came to stand behind Steve. “What is wrong with you today? This is not you. ”Natasha knew something was wrong

 “Do you know who I am? Do you really know me? ” Steve turned and stared into Natasha's eyes. Inside he wanted to drag the woman into his arms. Because she looks so pretty tonight. But he keeps his composure.

 The question startled Natasha.

 "I just don't understand why you like to fight with me. There are many more female players out there that you can choose to fight. ” Natasha still doesn't understand what Steve's intentions are.

 “You really want to know the truth. Well, I'll tell you now. Because I love to see your angry face, I love to see your red face, your lips, your staring eyes, your sexy voice, your feet when trying to stand on your toes, your style before kicking the ball. You are really cute. I like you Natasha ”Steve approached Natasha closer

 Natasha doesn't believe in Steve Rogers' words. Maybe he drank too much alcohol.

 "Actually I love you, Natasha Romanoff. All I do is to get your attention. ” Steve said as he stared into Natasha's eyes.

Then Steve grabbed Natasha's chin and kissed her lips. Natasha froze and couldn't resist the man's kiss. Then she realized and pushed him away and ran out of the room.

 When she returned home Natasha could not sleep. Her heart was pounding after being kissed by Steve Rogers. What the hell? Steve Rogers expressed his feelings to her. Natasha turned to the right and to the left trying to forget the man but in her heart, it was like in turmoil. She thought Steve hated her and she hated him too. Yet she turned out to be wrong and unable to resist his charmed. Kissed by Steve like she was struck by lightning.

 The next day Natasha and Steve meet again on the training ground. Natasha looked at Steve from a distance and waited if the man wanted to taunt her or laugh at her. But he was so different he just kept quiet and even stole Natasha's gaze when he thought Natasha wasn't looking at him. And when Steve and Natasha meet in the hallway Steve stares at Natasha's face. Like Natasha is the only person who is on his mind every day. Steve and Natasha just stood nearby and stared at each other. Their teammates bump them who were staring into each other’s eyes. Wondering what really happened between the two of them.

 A few weeks later Natasha and Steve flew to Qatar to compete in the World Cup. For the first time, the men’s team and the women’s team will compete at the same time. Natasha and Steve both focused on the biggest tournament of their careers. Natasha, who represented Russia, excelled in the competition. And her team managed to win the World Cup for the first time. But of course, attention is given to men's football. Steve Rogers stole the show by winning the golden boots award and Player of the tournament. Even though the USA only made it to the semi-finals, it was still an incredible achievement. Natasha watched the semi-finals matched in the stadium with the fans. Steve spotted the red-haired woman easily despite a hundred thousand people in the stadium. Natasha let her hair down and donned a USA jersey while cheering for his team.

 Natasha then turned around to show the jersey she was wearing with Rogers' name on the back. Steve smiled when he saw that and she giving him a flying kiss.

 After the match, Natasha and Steve met in the tunnel. Their teammates force them to acknowledge each other’s feelings.

 "I also really like you, Steve Rogers. So are we going to date now? ”Natasha asked Steve.

 "There are only two things in my mind that are football and you. You drive me crazy. Let`s date then ”Steve said while opening his both arms.

 Natasha who is only five feet three tall looks cute jumping to hug Steve Rogers who is six feet tall.

 "Even though I didn't win this match, but I won your heart," Steve said as he swings around Natasha on the air. Then they kissed in the tunnel of the football stadium. The kiss happened so passionately that they didn’t notice the photographer was taking a picture of them. The breaking news when the two big stars of world football are couple overshadow the story of the England team winning the World Cup.

 A few years later Steve Rogers and Natasha were about to get married and it became the wedding of the year as the union of the two best football stars in the world had sparked a phenomenon. All the tabloid newspapers have already started figuring out how their child will be born later because he or she is will definitely a great football player because of the DNA of both their parents.

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “I Was A Teenage Abomination”

So if you read my previous review you know that I didn’t like the last episode. That scene of Eda and King mocking Luz almost made me drop the whole show, but the lesson at the end convinced me to to give the show another chance especially since the season just started. Good thing I did because wow did the show deliver.

I’m not the biggest fan of the magic school trope, but I can see why people use it. The most common settings for fiction are schools, homes and work places because they all force people to come together and interact. And while I do think all magic schools look alike (almost all of them) because they’re just castles, I don’t know if Luz, Eda and King can carry an entire show by themselves. A school would force new and different characters in. Variety is the spice of life as they say. What Luz needs is more people her age to bounce off of and we got them.

The episode starts hilariously with The Owl House fam at the beach collecting crap from a dead giant ass slug. It’s when Luz suggests that she might some actual witch apprenticeship in her...witch apprenticeship that Eda accidently lets it slip that magic schools are a thing that exists in The Boiling Isles. BTW, if everyone could do magic on The Boiling Isles, wouldn’t magic school just be called school or is there a separate school system where magic is just an elective you can opt out of? I’m thinking too hard.

Luz decides that being knees and elbows deep in garbage isn’t for her and walks off to find our first new friend, Willow.

Willow is just a little sweetheart. Friend to all plants, kind of a pushover, but kinda really not. She lets Amity walk all over her but that could be just because of their past history together. But as soon as Amity is out of sight, Willow lets the anger flow through her like the Emperor’s dialogue in a Star Wars movie. Also looking back on this episode, it’s so weird to see Willow wearing the abomination purple uniform. I guess because she wears plant track green for the rest of the season that seeing her in her old uniform is unnatural or something.

And here comes the spice of life, baby. When I first heard about Amity I didn’t think twice about it until I heard that she was going to be voiced by Mae Whitman. Freaking Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender, Yuffie from Kingdom Hearts 2, April O’Neil from TMNT 2012, Rose/Huntsgirl from American Dragon Jake Long, Tinker Bell in...Tinker Bell and Roxy from the live-action Scott Pilgrim movie. I had to see it. And wow. She’s so good at being such a bitch. It’s delightfully mean-spirited. But I think if you compare her performance here to later episodes (especially her first lines) you can sort of hear how Mae Whitman finds her groove to become Amity. Kinda like when you hear Marco Diaz in Star vs the Forces of Evil in the first episode and then in the last episode. But that’s nothing new.

My first impressions of the character were that she was going to be a Draco Malfoy clone, especially after how she put down Willow. Also this filled out enough Harry Potter tropes to make me think that they were going to go down a checklist or something. That’s just the way the world is now. Someone says magic school, first thing you think of is Harry Potter.

Luz has seen enough hentai to know where this is going!

But seriously back to the episode. Willow is surprised to see a human on The Boiling Isles and we see Luz pull her first scheme to help Willow: dress her up in as her abomination and sneak Luz into the school. Willow gets a good grade and Luz gets to see the school. Easy peasy, one two three-sy.

Another thought that I remember having when I first watched this episode was what the H is an abomination? I’ve known people to use the word when they don’t really like something but other than that I have no clue. It’s not the Marvel villain, and it’s not something that causes a feeling of disgust. It’s not even a biblical reference. I checked. It’s more like a golem, but whatever. It’s Dana’s fantasy world. So it’s not really a reference to anything.

And then we have our other friend, Augustus. A supposed human expert who thinks Luz should’ve had gills. Luckily Luz knew an Augustus in the human world that everyone just called Gus, so new nickname. He’s...smaller than the others but we find out in a different episode that he’s actually younger than everyone else and skipped a grade. He’s smart but still a kid.

“Boy, let me tell you what!”

Luz helps Willow get a good grade and this pisses off Amity something fierce because she’s (in this episode) the kind of person who needs someone who she knows she’s better than to feel good about herself. But we find out in a later episode it’s because she’s a stickler for the rules and abhors cheaters. (That’s a good word, abhor.)

Amity’s freakout at the cafeteria gives her an opportunity to call Principal Bump into the situation, but I’m still stuck on Luz being excited over a PB&J. LIke seriously? What has Eda been feeding her? Or not feeding her? She knows her has to feed Luz right? Humans gotta eat too. I have concerns.

Yeah no, your ass would be fired.

Bump tries to bump (lol I’m funny) Luz and it’s out that she’s not an abomination; she’s an intruder. The climax happens which is fine, but Luz punching out abominations reminds me of my argument on why zombies aren’t scary. I mean, if they are decaying flesh how would they have super strength or any strength? It makes no sense. If abominations are just walking piles of goo how would they have super strength? Magic? Is that gonna be your answer to everything?

“Curse you Boiling Isles public school system!!!”

I forgot to mention the B-plot with King and Eda and I really like it. I love the comedy in this show and the B-plot has all of my favorite jokes in this episode. I just get upset talking about it because I know some asshole is going to call it filler. I remember a time where “filler” was used to refer to anime only episodes or story arcs that were produced to let the manga catch up with some more chapters. Now everyone uses it to refer to stories they don’t like. Not stories that don’t further the main plot, but stories they don’t like. 

Animation is difficult and takes a lot of time and money. If they do something, they do it for a reason. If it doesn’t further the plot then it develops the characters. It’s okay for a comedy to just have an episode that tells jokes. That’s the point of a comedy, to be funny. It’s okay if an action show just wants to do a fight scene or a set piece. That’s what action does. But I know some dipshit is gonna reblog or reply and argue with me about what filler means or what it really means and yada yada yada. Free tip, do that and I’ll block you because this is my blog and I can do that. Also, fuck you.

“I have no son!” My favorite line of the episode.

The episode ends a little too neatly with Willow telling Luz that everything was resolved offscreen. Willow is now in the plant magic track. Amity is begging Bump for a good grade, and Luz is banned from Hexside. For now...

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it!

This episode was a bunch of fun. It was super funny, introduced some great characters and saved my interest in the show. I knew I made the right choice to give this show another chance and it paid off. I wondered why they would introduce the school only to have Luz be banned but I just figured we would have more sneaking in scenarios. Egg on my face, huh?

Still this episode was a great time and I couldn’t wait for the next one.

[mcmactictac]

Pt. 4, final part of songs that remind me of DreamSMP characters! I’ve included a link to a Spotify playlist below that has all of the songs that I’ve mentioned in the previous parts so you have them all in one place! I also have a few more below that I didn’t get to include in the other parts!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0D7Ubbq5FHZmFnxBqzk1S6?si=RqfSlxU-RU27Qn-niXh-wQ&dl_branch=1

Tommy: Can you feel my heart by Bring me the Horizon

Tommy angst enjoyers this one is for you !The drop in this song feels like falling, and I love it for the end of Tommys exile. For the fanfic enjoyers out here it really has the energy of Tommy in the nether, talking to someone as he is struggling. I’ve seen some wonderful art done to this song, and read some great fics that remind me of it!

“I’m scared to get close, and I hate being alone. I long for that feeling to not feel at all. The higher I get, the lower I’ll sink. I cant drown my demons they know how to swim”

Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott

I know this is a basic Tommy choice but it just fits so well for him. The desperation and raw emotion within the song reminds me so much of his character. The build up, the voice cracks, it’s the song of someone who lost everything and is tired of being what everyone else needs.

“And I’m not your protagonist, I’m not even my own. I don’t know anything, I don’t even know what I don’t know. And If you look outside you’ll see, disintegrating trees. The artificial way the sunlight bounces off the waxy leaves. My heart catches on every thorn, you’re already halfway out the door. And I’ve never looked so old, and I have never been so cold. And it is 85 degrees, I don’t know what I need”

Wilbur: Eight by Sleeping at Last

Wilbur said that he inspired his character after this song, and I find it really interesting to look at his character through the lense of this song. It provides a different perspective that adds more depth to his character, which I love. All of the lyrics in this song fit him perfectly, which is really rare when finding songs.

“But I can’t let you see all that I have to lose, and all I’ve lost in the fight to protect it. I won’t let you in, I swore never again. I cant afford to let myself be blindsided.”

Icarus by Bastille

Honestly this song could apply for many different characters. I’ve seen Icarus compared to many different characters, and all of the explanations are very interesting. I prefer it for Wilbur or Tommy, but it’s very flexible for everyone. The message of flying too high and working yourself until you break, which can cause everything to come crumbling down.

“Icarus is flying too close to the sun, and Icarus’s life it has only just begun. This is how it feels to take a fall. Icarus is flying towards an early grave. You put up your defences when you leave, you leave because you’re certain of who you want to be.”

Fairytale by Alexander Rybak

I love looking at this song with the perspective of Wilbur singing it to L’manberg. Something that he knows he can never have again, but can’t get the idea out of his head.

“I’m in love with a fairytale, even though it hurts. Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind, I’m already cursed”

Fundy: Rät by Penelope Scott

This is another choice that fits a lot of people, but after being used, forgotten, and let down by everyone in his life no one really recognizes how much of a broken kid he is. Thinking of him singing this song to Wilbur, realizing that he’s been used, and that his father was not the great person he wanted him to be.

“I loved you, I loved you, I loved you it’s true. I wanted to be you and do what you do. I lived here I loved here I thought it was true. I feel so stupid. I feel so used”

Niki: I’d rather Drown by Set it Off

Honestly? Niki deserves to be genuinely pissed off and mad at Wilbur. He hurt her really badly, and she is entitled to be properly mad about the fact she trusted him and he left her alone. This song does a great job expressing the frustration and anger you have when someone genuinely hurts you.

“Burn the bitch down, I never will cross that bridge again. I can not trust you easily or think that I’m the only one. I never let people in, and up have you to remind me why. So baby burn the bitch down, I never will cross that bridge again, I’d rather drown.”

Techno: I Gave you All by Mumford & Sons

When Techno is committed to a person, he dedicates all he has to helping them reach their common goal. This could be in relation to Pogtopia or to Tommy, but he feels like no one cares about him despite all he gives to them. He is used only for what he can give for others, and people will inevitably leave him once they get what they need. This song captures that frustration with being used, and wanting to be appreciated.

“And you rip it from my hands and you swear it’s all gone. And you rip out all I had just to say that you’ve won. Well now you’ve won. But I gave you all. I gave you all. I gave you all.”

Dream: Big Shot by Billy Joel

What’s a Dream song without a little gaslighting and manipulation? I love this song, and when you think of it like Dream talking to Tommy and convincing him this is all his fault for wanting to be a “Big man” it makes it WAY more interesting.

“Yes, yes you had to be a big shot, didn’t you? You had to open up your mouth. You had to be a big shot didn’t you? All your friends were so knocked out. You had to have the last word, last night. You know what everything’s about. You had to have the white hot spotlight, you had to be a big shot, last night.”

Early L’manberg crew: Believer by Imagine Dragons

I just really love this song and think that it fits the energy of all the suffering and pain L’manberg went through and it doesn’t fit one specific character, but fits everyone generally.

“Pain! You make me a, you make me a believer, believer. Pain! You break me down and build me up believer, believer. Pain, oh let the bullets fly oh let them rain. My life, my love my drive it came from. Pain, you make me a you make me a believer, believer”

(On a totally unrelated note if any of you are IT fans I highly suggest watching Rockwell IT’s parody of the movies. They do a cover of this song and the harmonies are amazing!)

And that’s it! I might update the playlist, but I think I’m done writing out the explanations for the songs. If this is the first part you’re seeing, I have three other ones posted that include some of the characters I missed in here! If you liked this, go check them out!

[fangirlovestuff]

The Heart Wants What it Wants - Chris Evans x reader pt.1

a/n- Hey lovely people! i’ve actually been working on this one for a while now, hope you enjoy! summary is half taken from a pinterest post lol <3

Summary: Honest feelings and bad timing make the most painful combination. You meet Chris in a party and you hit it off, but what next?

Warnings: SMUT, age gap, angst, slight underage drinking

You entered the big house, your eyes shifting across the room to see who's there. With another fancy award show night done, all you wanted to do was go back to the hotel, take a shower and go to sleep. Alas, Scarlett convinced you to come to this after party someone she knew was throwing.

Now you were stuck here, in whoever's party, while your friend Scarlett Johansson – which was still a weird thing to say – was mingling about. Scarlett and you had an unlikely friendship, seeing as you were so much younger than her. You met her on set for your first movie ever, Enchanted Storm, in which you played half-sisters, quickly becoming close off screen as well. Now, one year later, you've guest starred on a few tv shows and made another movie, claiming your place as one of the youngest rising stars in Hollywood. You didn't know that many people personally yet, only recognizing them from movie posters. Scarlett always urged you to get to know more people, but you still felt like you didn't fully belong and preferred to mostly keep to yourself in these events. There was one person in particular Scarlett wanted you to meet – Chris Evans.

One day on the set, you were already pretty close and you asked her if it was really true that she and Chris never dated. Personally, you didn't believe it – how can two wonderful and super attractive people spend so much time together and not have feelings for each other, you didn't understand. "We never did," Scarlett smiled, "why? Do you have something in mind?" she raised her eyebrow at you. "Of course not!" you objected a bit too quickly, "I was just asking because of, like, the… the gossip, you know."

But from that day, Scarlett never let go of the idea you had a thing for Chris Evans. A ridiculous idea. He was so much more famous than you, likely not knowing you existed and also older, so being the realist you were, why would you like him, right?

Wrong. Very wrong. You were totally crushing on Chris Evans. But you never admitted it to Scarlett, because you worried she'll try and set you up and he wouldn't want you, or worse – that she'd outright tell you that you didn't stand a chance and it was just a joke.

At every possible chance Scarlett tried to get you two to meet, but you managed to avoid it, time after time. You didn't want to make a fool of yourself in front of your celebrity crush, and no one could blame you, you thought indignantly.

Your eyes continued their journey around the room, and you caught a familiar face from the corner of your eyes. Speak of the devil, you thought as your eyes registered who it was- Chris Evans. You knew it was only a matter of time until Scarlett realized he was here and try to get you to talk to him. And you didn't think you could escape it this time, seeing as you didn’t know anyone else in the party.  

At 19, you weren't allowed to legally drink, but usually no one cared in these places, so you made your way to the makeshift bar, asking for a glass of wine. You needed it if you wanted to survive the night.

As you waited, leaning your elbows on the bar with your back to the room, you felt a person coming to stand next to you. "One beer please," said the deep voice beside you, and you froze, immediately recognizing who it was.

The bartender came back carrying both your glass of wine and his beer. "Thanks," you both said in unison. You finally looked up at Chris and you smiled at each other. "Hi," you said hesitantly.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" he raised his brow at you, smirking. You chuckled, "Only a little."

"Chris," he introduced himself, put out his hand and you shook it. His hand was big and warm in comparison to yours. You could swear you felt a jolt of electricity when your hands touched, but you probably just imagined it. Cool the eff train down, you said to yourself, and introduced yourself warmly to Chris.

"Oh, you did that movie with Scarlett, right? Can’t believe I didn't recognize you!" He chuckled. "You were great!"

"Thanks," you said, your gaze shifting down before you willed yourself to look back up and smile at Chris. "You're Captain America, so I'm sure you already get tons of compliments, but you really are great in these movies."

He scratched the back of his neck. "Thanks," he smiled. "Can’t believe I didn’t meet you yet though," his eyebrows furrowed. He took a seat on a barstool nearby and you joined, sitting on another one beside him.

"So, how are you liking Hollywood so far? You've had some major jobs, didn’t you?" Chris asked, sipping his beer.

"I guess I was in some pretty mainstream shows," you shrugged, genuinely underestimating your fame. "Everyone was very kind, you know?" you said. "Like, I feel like everyone I've worked with has taught me something. And they've been very patient to the newbie, which I'm very thankful about," you smiled fondly. Talking to Chris was surprisingly easy. You avoided meeting him for so long, afraid to become a stuttering mess in front of the movie star, but so far it was going very well.

"Well I'm really glad to hear that. What's that like? I mean, getting such a big break on your first role must've been pretty overwhelming." He smiled sympathetically. "It was," you said, a bit thrown off by the question. No one ever assumes fame has a bad side. Other than famous people, I guess. "Don't get me wrong," you added quickly, "I'm incredibly thankful for the opportunities I've gotten. It's just, this world is so… different than the one I grew up in. Coming from a small town like I do, you know the type, where everyone knows everyone," Chris nodded in understanding, "it's hard to transition to Hollywood. I always joke about how everyone knows everyone here too, just from movie posters." Chris chuckled at that and you swallowed, flustered. "Anyway, everything's just really different here, but a lot of the time it's good different." You smiled, secretly proud of yourself for finishing the sentence without stumbling over your words.

"Yeah, I get that feeling too sometimes. Actually, it’s most of the time. I mean, when my brother Scott first came out here, he was shocked at how many people recognized me. But you get used to it." He smiled, one side of his mouth tilting upwards more than the other. "This one time, a fan came up to Scott and I, and we were…"

Chris and you spent the entire night together, exchanging stories that gradually became more and more personal as Chris drank a little more. You stopped yourself after that one glass of wine, you knew your limits. Except for the stories, the subtext became more and more prominent as the night went on. Looks were held longer, eyes lingered on lips pink tongues darted out to wet, hands swatted playfully when one of you laughed and stayed there for more than they should. Scarlett left at some point, but you didn't even notice. You and Chris seemed to have had this kind of bubble around you, surrounding you with a buzzing warmth. You each enjoyed the other's company, getting wrapped up in conversation to a point where you were feeling comfortable like you knew each other for years.

A small voice in your head whispered that maybe you do. You read somewhere that everything in the universe, humans as well, were essentially created from stardust. Some people were created from the dust of the same star; made to reconnect and shine. You dismissed the thought with an internal scoff at the cheesiness of it, but you couldn't deny something was drawing you to Chris like a moth to a flame, and it wasn't the fact he was famous, it was the fact he was him. But he was a flame nonetheless, you reminded yourself. You could never ever be seen in public with Chris. Even if it's something as innocent as getting coffee, people talk. Undoubtedly some people will say you're dating in secret; people love to invent that type of shit. And that's where the mess starts, because even if you felt so close now, he was so much older than you. That's a reality you couldn't escape – when he was starting to act, you were probably a baby. It didn't feel like that, but you knew that's what people would say, and how devastating the affect on both of your careers would be. He was a flame, and you knew that warmth was only temporary, because you couldn't possibly condemn your career like this. You couldn't do that to yourself or to him. You could have tonight, but that's it.

The night stretched on; the party dwindled. You realized Scarlett was nowhere in sight and cursed under your breath.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his brows furrowed in concern.

"Scarlett left and she was my ride home," you sighed. "Guess I'll just call a cab, I should be going," you smiled.

"Let me split the cab with you," Chris offered. "Where are you staying?"

You told him the name of the hotel and he nodded in recognition. "My hotel's in that direction, let's go." He got up and offered you his hand, which you accepted and got up. You both got your coats and went into the cool night air to wait for the cab.

You were unsure of what to say, but the silence between the two of you was comfortable. It stayed around you, a protective cloud as you both entered the cab, Chris telling the driver the address of your hotel. You make small talk with the driver on your way, but your heart isn't in it. You hated that the night was over so quickly.

You got to your hotel, paying your part to the driver. "I'll see you to the door," Chris says.

"Well I ain't waiting around for you to come back," the driver said. "Alright, good night then," Chris said to the driver and went out of the car with you. "You sure?" you asked. "Yeah, I'll just catch another cab," he shrugged.

You entered the hotel, which was silent at this hour of the night. "If I'm already getting another cab, guess I'll see you to your room then," he moved his hand in an 'after you' motion and you giggled.

At last, you got to your room. "It was great meeting you," Chris started hesitantly. "Yeah, you too," you said softly.

His eyes darted towards your lips, quickly rising back up to find yours. You noticed how painfully close you were standing. Like magnets drawn to each other, you lifted your head and he bent down to meet you halfway, lips touching hesitantly, each of you unsure of how much the other wanted this. You wrapped your hands around his neck and his hands went to your hips, tentatively pulling you closer. You gasped into his mouth as his tongue touched your lips, asking entrance which you granted quickly. The kiss got more and more heated, tongues clashing passionately, hands exploring eagerly. You broke the kiss off to breath, your foreheads touching and your heavy breath mixing with his, your hands resting on his cheeks.  

"Chris, it's not that I don’t want this but…" you whispered, your voice nearly cracking. His eyes met yours and he closed them, eyelashes resting on his cheeks as he sighed. "I know. I just…" He breathed deeply and his gaze met yours once more. He bit his lip. "Can we have this, just for tonight?"

Your thoughts raced a mile a minute while the world around you seemed to stop. You both knew the implications of this, that much was clear. But was letting yourself have that one night was really a good idea?

Your brain might have thought this, but you knew it was in vain. Every fiber of your being wanted him; an army led by your heart.

You took the keycard out of your purse, moving away from Chris and unlocking the door to your room. You turned back to him and returned to his arms.

"Just for tonight," you whispered and smiled, a little sadly.

In a second his lips were back on yours, tongue entering your mouth, tasting hungrily. He led you gently into the room and you reached to lock the door behind you, mouth not leaving his. Your hand slipped under his shirt, feeling his toned, warm torso flexing under your touch. His hands traveled from your back, where they were holding you tightly, to your hips, grabbing your butt through the material of your dress.

Your hands reached his back, scratching slightly as he groaned into your mouth. You pulled off his shirt, admiring the view for about two seconds, before you couldn't bear being away from him. You expressed your admiration with your mouth, kissing along his jaw, his collarbones. His hands reached the hem of your dress, pulling it above your head. You lifted your hands and tossed it aside as his heated gaze settled over your underwear clad form. He started kissing your neck, sucking and biting until he reached the sweet spot behind your ear. "God, you're so beautiful," he whispered huskily, biting your earlobe playfully. You moaned softly, your hands reaching to undo his belt. His lips make their way to your upper breasts where he busies himself sucking a mark. You push his pants down and he steps out of them, pulling you flush against him. He lifts you up and you wrap your legs around him as he carries you to the large bed.

He tosses you on the bed and quickly climbs up above you, your lips meeting once more as he reaches to unclasp your bra, freeing your boobs. His lips wrap around your nipple, flicking it with his tongue while repeating the action with his hand on your other nipple. You gasp and arch your chest into his touch.

"Chris," you moan. He meets, your eyes, eyebrow raised in a cocky silent question. You slam your lips against his, hand tugging at his hair as you move to straddle him, rolling your hips. You feel the length of him, hard, and through the two layers of underwear separating you both, you can feel how big he is. You begin to grind against him and he groans into your kiss.

He shifts you both, and you're once again under him as he cups your pussy through your panties, rubbing a little as your hips lift towards his touch involuntarily. He pulls your underwear off, leaving you completely naked under his gaze. "So pretty," he murmurs as his lips travel on your sensitive thighs. "So wet for me."

He's getting closer to where you want him to be and you buck your hips. He brings his lips to your pussy and chuckles, the sound against your sensitive parts sending a shiver down your spine. He starts sucking on you slowly, lapping up your juices. His lips wrap around your clit and you moan loudly. Your hips dart forward as your hand tangles in his hair, urging him on. He slips his finger inside you and starts moving it in and out of you as his tongue continues to tease your clit. You start quivering under him and he curls his finger, hitting your g-spot as his tongue flicks and sucks on your clit. "Cum for me baby," he hums against your clit, and the words send you over the edge. You tremble as he continues to press his tongue against your clit as waves of pleasure course through your body.

You come down from your high as his lips make their way across your body, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he goes. He kisses you deeply and you can still taste yourself on him, moaning into his mouth. Your hand reaches down inside his boxers, stroking his thick shaft as you pushed the material down with your other hand. He groans into your kiss as you continue to move your hand, grazing his tip gently as you tossed his boxers aside. His fingers trail along your body, reaching down and teasing your entrance. Your hips move against his hand in a silent plea to touch you. His fingers move inside you, his thumb pressing your clit as your hand continues to touch him.

"I need you," you whisper into your kiss. "God," he whispered huskily as his fingers left your clit and he lined himself with your entrance. His eyes met yours, silently asking for permission one more time. You moaned, bucking up your hips and kissing him heatedly. He entered you slowly, giving you time to adjust to his large size. You felt a burning sensation at the stretch he gave you, but it subsided quickly, left you feeling nothing but pleasure as he continued to move himself into you.

He finally bottomed out and you gasp, feeling so full you could burst. "Fuck," he muttered against you as he moved to suck on your neck, leaving a mark on your collarbone. When you felt ready you rocked your hips, needing him to start moving. He set a maddeningly slow pace, driving deeply into you. "Chris," you moaned. "Use your words baby," he answered.

"Faster Chris please, please go faster," you felt yourself throbbing around him as he rammed himself into you, going faster and faster, hitting your g-spot with every deliberate thrust of his hips. You felt a knot of pleasure forming in your stomach, and you were just about ready to unravel at Chris' touch. "I'm- I'm gonna-" you panted, feeling yourself nearing the edge. "Let go for me," Chris whispered in your ear, bringing his hand to stimulate your clit.

You came with a loud moan, your legs, wrapped around his hips were trembling, your pussy was clenching around him. He pulled out of you, his hand reaching to stroke his still hard dick. You came to your senses quickly enough, switching his hand with yours as you kissed him deeply. You sucked a mark onto his chest, picking up your pace. He came with a guttural groan, breath heaving. You kissed him once more before going to get a towel to clean you both up.

That night you both stayed there, wrapped around each other, legs tangled. You drifted off to sleep as you listened to the steady beat of his heart thrumming from his warm chest.

You couldn’t have tomorrow, but you could have tonight.

[songtoyou]

PRomance - Part Three

Paring: Chris Evans x Famous Reader

Rating: PG

Word Count: 1,412

Warnings: Some swearing and mention of COVID-19

Description: Chris needs some good press. He convinces one of his closest friends to partake in a PRomance.

A/N: It has been, what, 84 years since I updated this story. I apologize. Like everyone, last year was tough. It was hard to find motivation to write. Hopefully, it won’t take me as long to update, but I can’t make any promises since I do have other fics that also need my attention. 

I do not permit my work to be to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Tag list:  @ccolz88-blog @katiew1973  @inlovewith3 @thevelvetseries​ @syms-things-5

When the paparazzi’s Valentine’s Day pictures of you and Chris were released to the media, everything was surprisingly calm. No major freak-outs. No major firestorms. The media was ecstatic at the prospect of a new celebrity couple they could fawn over. The fans of both stars appeared to rejoice at the pairing. Yes, some fans were upset and already pegged it as a PR relationship. But from what Megan had seen online, the overall consensus was that people were happy for you and Chris. It helped divert any negative attention Chris was getting for ASP.

Unfortunately, COVID-19 occurred, and the whole world seemed to stop. It was a crazy and scary time for everyone. Chris chose to quarantine in Massachusetts while you remained in Los Angeles to continue filming your daytime talk show. No longer were you filming the show on a sound stage, but now in your own home. Your crew had helped set up a special room in your home where you could film the show. It was a big adjustment. Especially since the show was in its first season.

You and Chris made sure to continue to keep the PRomance going during that time but kept it quiet and did not blast it everywhere. Which was easy since neither of you could go anywhere.

Once in a while, you both would appear on each other’s Instagram page, but it was sparingly. It was important to keep things minimal and not overblown.

The PRomance was only something to be brought up when you or Chris needed a PR boost. First-round went to Chris.

The second round would go to you. The show had been nominated for a Daytime Emmy Award, and a PR boost was needed to keep you in the news. Thankfully, it helped that Ellen DeGeneres was going through a scandal about certain behaviors behind the scenes. This had already given you a nice PR boost about people wanting you to take over Ellen’s spot as daytime’s new queen. However, you knew that was not enough.

You knew it was a risk asking Chris to travel during COVID, but thankfully, he agreed. He promised he would take extra precautions when traveling. Plus, Chris had already planned on traveling to L.A. to help Scott move out of his boyfriend’s apartment. In fact, it was one of Scott’s neighbors who snapped a picture of you and Chris moving boxes from the apartment, which quickly spread throughout social media. It was a nice reminder for fans and the media to view it as you two still together.

Of course, Scott knew the truth. “I love you both very much, but I neither of you can bullshit this bullshitter,” he said to Chris while you were outside arranging the boxes in the moving truck. “Now, I’m not judging either of you. I understand the Hollywood game. I simply worry about people like Mom, Carly, and Shanna getting too attached to the idea of you two dating. What’s going to happen when all this is over, huh? Hearts are going to be broken in this situation. It’s bound to happen. Someone is going to get hurt.”

“No one is going to get hurt. When the time is appropriate, I’ll explain everything to Ma, okay. She’ll understand. Carly and Shanna will understand as well,” Chris explained to his little brother, but Scott wasn’t so sure.

Scott spoke your name and asked about you. “What about her?” Chris asked, confused at where Scott was getting at.

He looked around to make sure that you weren’t nearby and said, “Chris…how can I put this lightly, but this whole PRomance is not going to end well. I just have this feeling that one of you will get hurt. If I were to place a bet, then it would on the woman outside taking the time to help me move. She is my friend too, and I don’t want to see her get hurt just because you need some PR everyone in a while to make sure people realize that you are still around since you are no longer Captain America.”

Chris was stunned by Scott’s words. “Wow. That was pretty fucking harsh.”

Scott sighed. “I…okay, that last part was fucking rude of me to say. I’m sorry. But the rest I stand by. Don’t fuck this up, Chris.” And with that, Scott walked out of the apartment and joined you in the truck.

Later that week, you and Chris would have your second official PRomance outing. It would be simple: a walk in the park.

In truth, neither wanted to stay behind to help Scott unpack his things at Chris’s house.  

As Chris remembers, he held your hand “waffle style” and led you to an area on the grace that looked secluded.

“I’m tired,” Chris said, yawning and covering his eyes with his arm. You laid down next to him, keeping a good distance between each other.

“I’m tired too. I miss being around people, Chris. I’m miss doing the show in front of a live audience. It is not the same filming at home. I’m sick of Zoom,” you ranted. Lately, everything was upsetting you. It was a depressing time for everyone. But you knew that you were fortunate to still be able to do what you loved to do: entertaining people. You still had your home and a steady income. While others were not as lucky.

“I fucking hate Zoom. It makes everything so awkward,” Chris replied, and he turned his body towards you. He took off his mask since there were no other people around. You did the same.

He reached his arm towards you and began to stroke your hair. Without thinking too much, you scooted over to him and nestled under his arm. You laid your head on his chest while he continued to stroke your hair. It felt nice being close to someone. That is what you both were missing during these times, the closeness with other people. Affection. Intimacy.

You both stayed like that for a while. Neither knew how long time passed until Chris felt buzzing in his pants. It was his phone, and most likely Scott calling him.

“Scott?” you confirmed, looking up at Chris.

He reached for his phone, and low and behold, it was Scott texting that he needed help.

“We should get back, or else nothing is going to get unpacked,” said Chris with a sigh. It had been a week since Scott moved into his home and still had boxes everywhere.

“Give him a break. He is going through a breakup. It is the worst time to go through a breakup. Scott needs our support. Come on, get up,” you uttered, getting up and brushing the grass off of your clothes. You grabbed Chris’s arm and pulled him as well.

“We should stop by the liquor store and pick up some pizza on the way back,” you suggested to Chris as you both walked back to his car.

When you both made it back to Chris’s house, Scott was crying on the couch watching the ‘Notebook.’

“No!” you yelled out. “Not the ‘Notebook,’ Scott. That doesn’t help anyone.”

“I’m in mourning! Don’t judge me!” Scott yelled back. “Is that pizza?”

“You get pizza if you turn off the movie. Come on, we are going to skip the ‘Notebook’ phase of the breakup. Let’s move on to the ‘Steel Magnolias’ phase, which is a much better phase. We’ll still cry but also laugh.”

“I vote for ‘Steel Magnolias’ phase too,’ Chris piped in the pizza boxes on the kitchen counter and got out the blender. “I’ll make the margaritas.”

The park pictures were met with mixed emotions from the media and fans. One side found the pictures adorable. The other side was upset that you two were out walking the streets during these trying times. Unfortunately, it appeared that the critical side was louder this time around.

Thankfully, the negative press didn’t hinder you from winning your first Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Entertainment Talk Show Host. By July, and after a long time of delays, A Starting Point was finally launched to decent reviews. Chris was happy. You were happy. Neither of you knew where to go from there. Would the PRomance come to an end? Was it still needed since both of you got what you wanted out of the arrangement? Or was it something you both were willing to still put on?

[j0elmill3r]

Me And You Together Song

Chris Evans x Daughter!reader

Jaeden Martell x Reader

Chris Evans Masterlist

Part Two of The Tonight Show [Read Here!]

Warnings; Swearing, mentions of past abuse, mentions of manipulative exes, ft. sebby stan

word count; 2.1k

A/N; Kinda didn't follow what the request was looking for because I didn't know how to write it, but I hope this is okay. I made sebby appear because I can and it's not a day in New York without the man himself

--

Chris sighed as your phone went to voicemail for the fifth time. You were meant to be up an hour ago so you could go and get something to eat, but you were still sleeping, as per usual. Chris was trying his hardest not to go into yours and Jaeden's room, he wasn't hoping to see you in bed with someone that was your boyfriend, not yet. To him, you were the same little girl who came running in from the backyard after falling from the swings and cutting your knee, and you needed him to kiss it better. But eventually, he had to go and get you, first of all, he was worried, and second, he was hungry as fuck. Chris was glad Jaeden had given him a spare key last night, but he knocked first.

"Y/N, Jaeden. Are you alive?" There was no response except snoring, who Chris couldn't identify if it were yours or your boyfriends. Chris sighed and opened the door, relief flooding his body when he saw that both you and Jaeden were fully clothed and cuddled up to each other, his arms around you tightly. "I don't know whether to gush or throw up," He said to himself. Chris tried making as much noise as possible, but neither of the 17-year-olds in the bed woke up. Moving over to the lightswitch, Chris flicked the switch on and off until he heard you groan. You twisted out of Jaeden's arms and your arm flopped out of the bed.

"Jae, quit it," you groaned, your eyes still clenched shut because it felt like you were in a colourless rave.

"That's not me," He told you. Your eyes opened and from the shape of the body standing over at the light switch, you could make it out to be your dad standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Hi, Dad," You greeted him. Chris walked over to the nightstand and pressed the home button on your phone and saw his contact name on your screen.

Dad

5 Missed Calls

"5 times. You really have a habit of forgetting things, Y/N. Do I wanna know what time you both fell asleep or did you just fall asleep?" He asked. You sat up and sat still for a second before looking up at your dad, your eyes still squinted.

"What time is it?"

"9 am," He told you. Jaeden laughed dryly and turned to you, a tired look on his face.

"I told you we would regret staying up until 6," He told you. You rolled your eyes and playfully pushed his shoulder. "Ow," He groaned.

"Shut up," You turned to your dad. "Look, I'm sorry. We didn't plan on staying up so late and we kinda forgot that time was a concept" You pulled the puppy dog eyes that you had learned from your dad, he could never stay mad at you for long if you used them.

"It's okay. I have some stuff to do today, so you two are on your own. If I come back and either of you is in anyway undressed, you," He pointed at you. "Are grounded for life," You nodded. "And please don't get lost, I don't wanna drag Sebastian around New York looking for both of you," He said.

"You're gonna go see Seb?" he nodded from where he was standing at the door. "Tell him I said hi," Your dad said goodbye and then left both of you.

"Okay, we need to go and get food. I don't know about you, but I'm starving," You nodded at Jaedens suggestion. "There's a place I saw a few blocks from here,"

"And you just happened to be on the lookout for places?" You asked him. Jaeden turned to look at you and gave you a serious look.

"Of course I was, I couldn't be wandering around New York not knowing places to go and get breakfast. Jesus Christ, Y/N, who do you take me for?" You laughed at him as you fell back onto the bed and onto his chest.

"I don't know, I certainly didn't take you as someone who was so into food places in New York. I was literally just gonna go to iHop," You told him. "And anyway, I thought you hated going out in New York because you get scared you'll lose me in the literal sea of people," You reminded him.

"Yeah, but you've grown around 3 inches and I can see you now that you dyed your hair lighter," He ran his fingers through your hair that you convinced your dad to let you make more blonde than it was, it was similar to your dads', but a little darker. "But, if you wanna go to iHop, that's fine, I don't mind," He smiled down at you.

"You should go shower," You suggested to him. He looked down at you with a furrowed brow.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" You sat up and smiled at him innocently, shaking your head.

"No, but you should just go and shower," You said, putting your hand on his chest. He huffed and got out of bed, turning back to face you. But as if you could predict what he was going to say, you throw a pillow at him full force, causing him to grunt as it hit his face. "Shower!" He threw the pillow back at you and went into the bathroom. In the space of an hour, you were both ready. Your laptop was open and playing your playlist from Spotify, Bloody Valentine by Machine Gun Kelly playing from the speakers.

"This song is stupid," You turned to face Jaeden, shock was written on your face. "I mean, what is it even about?" He asked you.

"It doesn't matter. Megan Fox is in the music video, that's all that matters," You told him. Jaeden closed your laptop and put it in your bag. Then crossing his arms and tilting his head, his hair falling to one side.

"Okay then, would you rather me or Megan Fox?" He asked you. Your jaw dropped to the floor at his question, picking between those two things was like asking if you had to choose between a brain or a heart, both things are important. "Did you seriously just ask me that?" Jaeden nodded and smirked. "You, obviously. But it's Megan fucking Fox, you're telling me you don't find her attractive?" You asked him.

"I think everyone finds her attractive," He murmured.

"Thank you! Don't get your underwear in a twist over Megan Fox, Jae. You have my heart," You told him as you kissed him on the nose. Jaeden pouted, making you furrow your eyebrows. "What?" "You missed," He told you. "I did? Well, I apologize, but that's what you get when you shit on Machine Gun Kelly,"

--

"Do we have to?" Jaeden whined. You nodded and took his hand, dragging him into Macy's.

"Yes, because if I go home without something for Miles and Stella, they'll never talk to me again and that'll be really awkward when I have to babysit," You told him. "And I thought the toy aisle was your favourite?" You asked him mockingly. Jaeden shook his head and flipped you off. "Jaeden Martell! How dare you make such obscene gestures in the children's toy aisle!"

"My sincerest apologies, Lady Y/N," He said. You laughed and picked something out for your younger cousins. "Alright, can we like sit down or something, my feet hurt," He complained.

"Okay, we can go for lunch now if you want, that way you can stop bitching," You told him.

"For the daughter of Captain America, you really do have a mouth on you," He said. "I would quote the line but you're probably sick of hearing it between fans and your dad," You nodded.

"Okay, since I chose breakfast, you can choose lunch. I don't mind where, I'll pay," You told him.

"You sure?" You nodded. "Alright, I know a place. Jack told me about it and said it was pretty good, I know where it is though," He said.

"The last time you said that we ended up in downtown L.A and nearly dying," You reminded him. "We were just lucky because Scott happened to be driving around,"

"That was one time,"

"And I'm sure it won't be the last," You left Macy's and walked to the place Jaeden was talking about, and walking in you knew he had asked Jack for recommendations. "This is nice," You said as you were seated. You took your jacket off and shivered as your bare arms were exposed to the air.

"How are you cold?" Jaeden asked you incredulously. You shrugged and smiled as he pulled his hoodie off, handing it over to you.

"You're amazing," You said fondly. Jaeden chuckled.

"I try my best,"

--

"Y/N looks a lot happier," Sebastian said. Chris took a drink of his beer and nodded. "I know the last year wasn't exactly easy, but she's doing better," Chris nodded.

"Yeah, she deserves it, really, she does. Jaeden helped her a lot too, I can't take all of the credit," Chris told Sebastian.

"Yeah. That Lucas dude fucked her around, I'm surprised you didn't kill the little dick," Chris laughed and nodded.

"No, that night I saw the look in Y/N's eyes and knew she needed me. And trust me, I would have," Chris hated thinking about Lucas and what he had done to you. He was manipulative and if you ever said you were thinking of leaving him, he would say he would hurt himself and it would be all your fault. He had hit you on a few occasions too, but you would always tell yourself he never meant it, and that the bruises your dad saw were just because you were clumsy. "But, I know that Jaeden would never hurt Y/N, not on purpose. I trust him with her, and I trust Y/N to know the signs now,"

"I don't know much about this whole 'parenting' gig, Chris, but I know that you're doing well with Y/N, ever since I've known you, you always put her first. I mean, you basically told the Russos that if they kept you on set for an hour longer, you wouldn't be there the next morning because you were gonna be late for her soccer game," Chris laughed at the memory Sebastian had brought up.

"Yeah, she won that game. She scored the winning goal," He smiled. "They're probably still awake," Chris looked at the time on his phone, 01:34.

"You should probably go, don't you have a flight at 12?" Sebastian asked. Chris nodded.

"Yeah, it's not me that has the problem waking up, it's the two insomniac teenagers who stayed up until 6 am yesterday,"

--

You were snoring away softly while Jaeden was watching something on his phone, using your head as a stand. Your head was laid on his chest and your body was pressed up as close as possible against his. Jaeden's other arm was around you, his arm going all the way around you and coming to your waist. The door clicked open, but it was only your dad.

"Shit, sorry. I thought you'd both be awake," Chris said. Jaeden put his phone down on the nightstand. "Since when did Y/N fall asleep before 3 am?"

"She was saying she was tired today, we were watching Netflix and next thing I knew she was asleep and now I can't move her," Jaeden said. Chris sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Do you want me to move her?" Chris asked. Jaeden shook his head and looked down at you.

"It's fine, she'll probably move anyway," He said.

"Alright, I'll go," Chris stood up and walked to the door, but turned back last minute. "Thank you, Jaeden," "Oh uh- what for?" Jaeden furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Looking after her. I know she can be closed off sometimes, but she really loves you Jaeden. Next thing I know you'll be running to me asking to marry her," Chris said. Jaeden laughed quietly, and the vibrating of his chest made you groan in annoyance.

"Give it a few years," Jaeden moved down and tried not to disturb you again in fear he might get a pillow to the face. "Good night, Chris,"

"You guys talk too loud," You said tiredly. "My dad really likes you," You told him. "Thanks?" You got delirious when you were tired. "You should go back to sleep, it's late," He told you.

"You go to sleep too then," You said. "And plus, 'm not even tired," You said, a yawn interrupting you. Jaeden nodded, playing along with you.

"Right, just put your head back down and cuddle with me again, I'm cold," He said. You put your head back on his chest and fell asleep in about 3 seconds. "Not tired my ass,"

--

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[willow-salix]

In Time.

This little ficlet came into my head after a conversation with @sugar-fiend​ that inspired me to think and to write, so this is for her because she’s awesome.

"What was that noise?" A man's voice cut through the quiet of the park, catching Marie’s attention and taking it away from her phone. 

"What noise?" The same noise he had heard came again from the depths of the woman's giant handbag. 

"That noise."

"Oh, that, that's nothing, don't worry about it."

"That is not nothing, that sounded li-" 

"Did you remember to get the sandwiches from the good deli, the one that uses that super crunchy bread and the extra strong cheese? You know I'm not a fan of the weak stuff."

"Yes I went to Freemans…seriously, what is that noise? Don't tell me it's nothing."

"It's noth- hey, leave my bag alone you!" 

The sound of a short scuffle broke out behind her and Marie desperately wanted to turn around and look but knew that would probably be creepy. She didn't want to be that weirdo that sat on benches in the park and stared at people who were trying to eat their lunch. 

"A duck? Seriously? You have a duck in your bag? Where the hell did you get a duck from?" 

The man sounded so done that Marie had to stifle her giggle before they heard her. 

"It's only a baby one," the woman argued. 

"That is not the point. You can't keep it."

"Sure I can, he can float in the bath or something."

"No he- he cannot float in the bath!" 

"Why?" The woman sounded shocked and there was a surprised little quack as she evidently grabbed the duck to examine it. "Are his little feets OK? Can't he swim? Don't all ducks float?" 

"I meant he can't just float in the tub, he needs a lot more than that," the man's sigh floated on the breeze yet she still heard it perfectly. 

"What else does he need? I already gave him a name, it's Fernando."

"Fernando? It's a duck!" 

"So that means he can't have a fancy name? What are you, a speciesest now?" 

"That's not even a word!" 

"Look, he's fine, look how cute he is!" 

"Where did you even get him?" 

"Dude on a street corner sold him to me for an ice cream."

"An ice- you bought a duck from a man on the street?" 

"Well, yeah, wouldn't you have?" 

"No! I wouldn't buy a duck from anyone!" 

"Seems like that's a you problem right there. Gimme my sandwich, he might like some of the softer bread in the middle."

"Don't fill him up on bread, he needs proper food designed for his small stomach."

"Because he's a baby!" the woman cooed. 

Marie heard another tiny noise from the duck and even she had to admit that it sounded pretty cute. 

"You need to give him to a sanctuary or a farm or something."

"That's far too sensible, besides I've adopted him now. You don't just buy a duck to give him away again, that's mean. I'm his mumma now. He's imprinted on me."

"When did you buy him?" 

"Like an hour ago. The dude said he was the last one and no one wanted him and that he was going to drown him if no one took him."

"Drown a duck?" The man didn't sound too convinced by that idea. 

"It was a legitimate concern, OK? It's not like we don't have anywhere for him to stay. Please?" 

"No! You are not keeping the duck, there's a pond over there, you can let him go later. He's probably been taken from there anyway and his mother is probably looking for him."

"The man said he hatched him himself."

"He also sold him for an ice-cream, you can't believe anything he says."

"Scott said I can keep him."

"Why am I not surprised? I don't care, you aren't keeping the duck. It's a duckling, you don't even know how to look after a duckling."

"I could learn."

"No. Promise me you'll put him back into the wild."

"I'll promise to think about it."

"No, you'll do it." 

The woman huffed loudly, obviously sulking. 

"Well, you're no fun."

"So you constantly tell me."

"Why am I with you again?" 

"It's a mystery. Here," Marie heard the rustling of a paper bag. "Eat your sandwich, I made sure they put only the thinnest spread of pickle on it."

"Thank you," the woman took the sandwich and the sound of more rustling came from behind as the woman unwrapped it and started to eat. 

"That duck just pecked my sandwich," the man said a few minutes later, in between them chatting about their week and the woman telling him some gossip about a woman named Cleo.

"He's hungry, can I just get him some food and fatten him up a bit before I release him? Give him a good meal?" 

"Maybe," the man conceded. 

"Here Ferdy, have another bit." The duck quacked happily. 

"You could at least feed him from your own sandwich." 

"Yours is wholemeal, that's gotta be better for him, right?" 

"Probably," the man sighed. 

Marie listened with half an ear to the rest of their conversation as they finished their lunches and started saying their goodbyes. 

"Remember your promise," the man reminded her. 

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled but she didn't sound like she really meant it. 

Far too curious for her own good, Marie turned in her seat and glanced casually over at them. 

The man had reddish hair streaked through with pale grey, although it was brushed neatly back from his face in a side part that swooped over to curl at his temple. He had on a pair of wire rimmed glasses that did nothing to hide the dazzling turquoise colour of his eyes. He smiled at the woman, the little lines around his eyes deepening and Marie realised he was actually quite handsome. A silver fox they called them. He was dressed quite normally in casual jeans and a shirt covered with a light jacked, but the woman was not. 

She had bright lilac hair and was wearing some kind of mishmash of clothing styles, a long floaty skirt that looked like a patchwork blanket, a black peasants blouse but with a biker jacket on top and clumpy army boots. She returned the man's smile with one of her own, her eyes crinkling in much the same way his had, then playfully stuck her tongue out at him. 

Marie could honestly say she was surprised, they had sounded much younger. To her anyone over the age of thirty was nearing ancient times, so it was nice to see that older people could still have fun. 

"Such abuse even after I bought you lunch," the man said, standing up. It was then that Marie saw they were holding hands. He tugged her to her feet and handed her her bag. 

"Release the duck."

"Maybe," she retorted. She placed the bag back down and lifted up on her tiptoes, her arms looping around his neck. 

"Bribing me with kisses won't work," he told her, but he kissed her anyway. 

Marie had expected them to share a quick, chaste kiss, since they were in public and you know, old, but she'd never been more wrong. 

The man's arms slipped around her waist, pulling her in closer and Marie had to look away as one of his hands drifted down to her plump backside. How embarrassing. 

"I have to go," the man said, breaking their kiss. "I have a lecture at two and you know they don't give those spots out easily."

"Bullshit, you know they begged you to talk, you're too modest."

"Modesty is not a crime," he told her, releasing his hold on her and stepping back. 

"Fine, go, leave me and our son to fend for ourselves."

"You're not keeping the duck."

"Yeah yeah, go do your boring lecture thing. I'll see you later."

"Woman, you're a liability," he grumbled as he walked away. 

The woman giggled to herself as he left. Turning she saw Marie still staring and smiled at her. 

"You good, kid?" 

"Yeah," Marie blushed, embarrassed at being caught staring at them. "Sorry, I didn't mean to watch you. It was just nice to see that ol-" 

"Older people can still do park dates and kiss like you teenagers?" 

"Yeah, I guess..."

"When you find the right person you'll know it, don't let age stop you from enjoying yourself. Besides, I'm only 54, I'm hardly over the hill," the woman laughed as she reached for her bag. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to imply-" Now that she could see her properly Marie saw that the woman was actually still quite pretty, even if her eyeliner was a bit too young for her. 

"It's fine," the woman laughed. "I was only joking." 

Marie smiled back, the woman's friendliness putting her at ease. As she watched the woman picked up her back carefully and hung it from her shoulder. 

"Guess I had better go, I need to get this little one some proper food." She opened her bag to show Marie the contents as she passed, revealing a cute little duckling nestled in one of the inner pockets on a bed of kleenex.

"I'm keeping the duck," the woman told her. 

"That man won't be happy with that," Marie laughed. 

The woman shrugged, not looking the slightest bit bothered. 

"Believe me I've brought home worse and no doubt I'll do worse in the future. If he's not used to me now, with all the years we've been married he's never going to be."

"How long have you been married? Marie had to ask, it couldn't be that long, surely. 

"Twenty-five years in October, he knows me well enough by now and I him. I can guarantee you that he'll have gone online to look up duck care and will have ordered everything we need for little Ferdy by the time he gets home. He always does. He grumbles at me but he always gives in."

"That's nice," Marie said, unable to believe that the couple she had seen hadn't been in the first flushes of dating as she had assumed but been married for so long, longer than her parents actually and they barely spoke to each other. She just hoped that she was lucky enough to find someone she still liked after all that time, let alone someone she'd snog in the park on a Wednesday lunchtime. 

Marie watched as the woman walked away, chatting to the little duck in her handbag and Marie sent up a heartfelt prayer that she would be half as interesting as that when she got older. 

Substitute wife for husband and yeahhhh

[sxveme-2]

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Nineteen: The One With the New Way

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 3596

     the very first time a boy asked lily out was way back in high school. close to twenty years ago. he was a sweet kid, a year older than the blonde. he was fairly popular, no quarterback but people knew his name. michael parvish. a dashing man. he had dark sandy blonde curls, bright aquamarine eyes. a smart kid, he was in a few of lily's advanced classes. he had asked her to go to the homecoming with him and grab dinner before hand. lily, being lily, was absolutely terrified of it. but gen had managed to convince the blonde to say yes, so she did. she knew a lot of girls had a crush on the boy, and lily wouldn't deny she did to. he was beautiful, and she prayed the inside reflected what the outside had.  

       they dated for four months, before michael moved away to iowa for his fathers job.

       the second time was when she was in grade eleven. a senior had taken a keen interest in the girl, and made a move. he was a baseball player, and also very attractive. dark chocolate skin that would shine in the light. amber eyes that made lily feel weak in the knees most of the time. he was sweet, a bit shy, but quite charming. they dated until lily graduated and moved to new york city. he had moved out to california for baseball, and she had no desire to move to that state or go to school there. so they parted ways after two years.

       the saying goes that third times the charm. well, that wasn't exactly lily's fate. the third time she was swept off her feet was in her days as university student.  a tall, built, gorgeous student with a smile that made lily feel like there was no one else around her. he was two years older than her and an engineering student. girls would fall at his feet, yet he would always end up back at lily's door after a party. they wouldn't do anything, merely sit and talk. it was sweet and euphoric. the two seemed to get on perfectly.

       his name was scott harvey. and he was not the prince charming she believed he would be.

       she had been romanced and asked out a few times after the divorce from scott. but she always said a simple "no thank you, I'm not dating right now." she would refuse any sort of affection or charm from any sort of man. one of gen's staff, elijah, had come the closest. he was kind and good with hunter, but lily didn't really feel anything. so all together, lily had only really experienced a relationship three times, each for a substantial period of time. but she supposed a part of her knew each of them wouldn't be the one. scott was the only one she was slightly convinced would be her last. lord, was she wrong.

        but now? lily had an opportunity sitting in her lap. or should she say, leaning over her. an opportunity with a scruffy beard and steel blue eyes. dark hair dancing in front of those said eyes, and a cold metal arm attached to him. and danger. threat came with her opportunity. she was willing to take that risk, knowing he would never let anything happen. but her heart hesitated slightly at the thought. she knew she had told him any girl would be lucky to have someone like him, and here she was, that said girl.

       "doll?" he whispered, "you look like you've seen a ghost..."

       "hm? oh," lily smiled weakly, "sorry. just caught me by surprise a bit." she hummed, tucking a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

       "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." bucky mumbled, going to push off the wall and stand at full height.

        but her hands caught his waist. she tugged him forward, gripping the toned midsection tightly as she pressed a soft and careful kiss to his slightly chapped lips. the tickle of his scruff sent butterflies down through the girls stomach, but she knew her answer. she knew it before he even really asked. the hesitation far from her head as she looked back up at him, lips separating with a faint noise. gentle breaths fanning the others face as bucky scanned her features, attempting to sleuth out her answer.

         "yes, bucky," she whispered, playing with her bottom of his navy blue henley, "I will be your girlfriend." the blonde concluded, giggling at the bright grin that spread across his lips.

         a bit of a weight seemed to release itself from the bulk of lily's shoulders as the words left her lips. the clear elation in the mans eyes helping warm her heart, and create a sense of ease with her decision. he was the right one for her, she knew it. the way he would hold her and the way he would kiss her. how his hands found their way through her hair easily, and managed to make her feel whole again after years of being shattered and broken. how he seemed to adopt hunter right away in a way a father would a son. god...the way he acted with hunter. so soft and gentle, so loving, accepting. everything.

        "come on then, let's go wait out this little party and then head to your place. just the three of us,  hm?" he cooed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

        "oh didn't I tell you...they're all coming back for dinner!"

        "...dear god."

-----

       honestly she wasn't sure why she had actually added that there would be a dinner when everyone came back to her home after the tour. she didn't necessarily like any of the parents that would be coming back. the only reason she could think of was the fact that hunter adored the kids, as did lily. plus, a selfish part of her wanted to show all of them that she can be a successful doctor and be able to afford a comfortable life for her and her son without the help of a spouse or anything like that. lily knew it wasn't right of her to think like that, but she felt the urge to sort of...well, rub it in their faces that she had done well. despite the amount of obstacles that had been placed as roadblocks for her to swerve around.

      "so what's on the menu, lily." jill hummed as she found herself perched on one of the barstools at the kitchen island of lily's home. that same condescending smile still as evident as ever on her face.

      "pancakes." the blonde countered, pulling out the ingredients, "it was all in the invitation." she continued, smiling tightly at the woman, "buck could you go downstairs and check on the kids for me?"

      "sure, doll." the man behind her cooed and placed a gentle kiss to her cheek before wandering off from the kitchen. she caught him toss a look over his shoulder, as though he wanted to double check she did want him to actually leave her with the group of petty, uptight, parents that she so despised.

       lily was still lily. she was still shy and quiet and non-confrontational. now becoming the official girlfriend of bucky barnes wasn't going to change her personality. she didn't enjoy being alone with these people, but she still  needed to be able to stand on her own two feet. still be able to handle situations herself if things went south. she prayed they didn't, and she knows if they did she would have put herself in that position. she would have caused the problem for herself. and though she knew this, she had still sent him. lily figured it was better late than nevre to learn how to handle her own messes if they arose.

       "nice place you have here." thomas commented, sipping on a water, "I don't think any of us have actually ever been in your house before. other than our kids of course. I suppose we weren't all expecting it."

       lily felt herself grin slightly as she mixed the ingredients together, blowing a piece of stray blonde hair from her face as her arm worked. she knew they were expecting something smaller, messier even. but lily was proud of where she had ended up. if there was anything in the world that lily actually found confidence in, it would be the life she had built for herself and her son. even when she was married to scott, it was mostly just her and hunter. lily wore herself thin but she wanted hunter to grow up in a happy place, or as happy as she could make it. she couldn't make up for the absentee father or the lack of quality time he had with his dad. but she tried her best to substitute that with as much love from her as she could. all while managing and juggling schooling, chasing her dreams, and ensuring that there was always a stock fridge and cupboard. and now, she found herself in their dream home with a dream dog, and a newly found relationship that created a warm and domestic environment for everyone.

       "thank you thomas," lily smiled, placing her hands on her baby blue polka-dot clad and navy blue cardigan clad waist, tilting her head, "got a great deal for it.  and then hunt and I made it our own." she explained, glancing over at rose who leaned on the wall with a raised eyebrow at the kindness of the group.

       "but have you ever considered finding someone? like for real," jill piped up, "not this little daydream fantasy you have with bucky barnes of all people." she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

       lily froze as she poured the batter into the cast iron griddle she had. she felt the air in the room disappear as she finished pouring the batter. glancing up, she tucked one of the loose blonde strands of her hair behind her ear and tilted her head at the woman in front of her. of course jill would be the one who would try to continue to poke at lily in her own home. there were so many things that she wanted to say. so many insults and retorts. but her words got caught in her throat. her chest tightened and stomach twisted. sweat glands opened and the saliva in her mouth ceased to exist. her eyes blurred and a warm feeling gathered at the waterline. the room around her slowly began to bend inward and she had to take a step backwards. she dropped her spoon and cleared her throat, attempting to compose herself.

     "why don't you go see if the kids are okay, bucky's been down for a few minutes." rose stepped in, placing her hand on her sisters shoulder, grounding her.

      stepping away without a word, lily tugged at the knit sleeve of her cardigan. attempting to let air inside of what felt like restraints. tugging at the small buttons as she walked down the stairs, lily tried to steady her breath. ripping the material off of her body, she threw open the basement door and proceeded to jog down the rest of the stairs towards where she heard laughing voices and one deep gruff one telling a story.  the sounds of his and her sons voices melting together had her heart slow, and her breathing regulate. she gripped onto the wall and let out a gentle sigh. the rough feeling of the drywall reminded her where she was as the feeling of bile subsided from her throat.

       "lily?" bucky's voice cooed as he walked over to her, hand finding it's way to her waist to rub gentle circles onto her hip, "you okay?"

       "yeah, yeah I'm okay. rose just took over the cooking. just needed a minute," she whispered, leaning her head back against the corner of the wall, "how're the kids?"

       "they're good, doll," he hummed, running a flesh finger down her face, "they were jus' asking about the final battle a few years ago..." he trailed off, eyes falling down to his feet. lily smiled softly and placed her hand on the scruffy side of his cheek, "I dodged the question, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it just yet with hunter...the things I did lily I-"

         reaching upward, lily placed a soft kiss to the mans slightly chapped lips, "it's okay love, it's okay." she whispered, "let's head back upstairs if you're ready, to make sure rose doesn't end up cooking jill instead."

         sliding his metal arm into the girls hand, the two made their way back up the stairs, only to have a small and gentle tug at the bottom of lily's skirt catch her attention. both glancing back, she saw a familiar head of blonde smiling up at the two softly and they turned around to look down at the young boy.

        "is it okay with you guys if luke and finn stay the night?" he whispered, smiling up at the two of them shyly.

        lily's heart grew so large she believed it would completely burst from her chest. he didn't just ask her. no, he asked both of them. he asked her and bucky if they were okay if his friends stayed the night. the tears found their way to her waterline once more as she looked up at bucky, who had the same awestruck look on his face. something inside of him seemed to click as he looked down at the young boy in front of the two. hunter had asked bucky and lily. the two of them. as a pair. she smiled softly and bit on her knuckle, before turning back to bucky again.

        "what do you say bucky," lily grinned, "you okay if hunter has some friends stay the night?"

        "sure buddy, why not."

-----

       a few hours later, when most of the kids had cleared out and the parents alongside them, lily finally let out a relieved breath. bucky, rose, and her were clearing the paper plates and wiping up the messes from the syrup and cleaning the wrapping paper. hunter, luke, and finn were bustling upstairs in the young boys room, no doubt playing with all of his collectable items. lily stood herself up straight and smiled softly, looking around at the slightly messy living room. chuckling gently, she shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose.

        "they're twelve, why do their parents need to come?" lily laughed, picking up a wine glass jill had used, "I understand the tour part but for dinner? god, some parents." she sighed, walking to the kitchen and putting it in the dishwasher.

        "I think most of them just wanted to hear if the rumours were true," rose commented, collecting the last piece of wrapping paper, "if you were dating the one and only winter soldier." she teased, bumping her shoulder against the broad man.

        "as embarrassing as that is," bucky jousted back, "I'm with rose on this one, doll." he agreed, tying the black garbage bag.

        "about time you learned that I am always right, barnes." rose chuckled, stretching her arms back, "alright I'm heading upstairs. keep it down tonight, I have an early meeting tomorrow."

        the moment rose's door shut as she walked up the stairs, bucky's arms found themselves wrapped around lily's waist. his lips pressed to the corner of her jaw, eliciting a giggle to escape from the same place. shaking her head, lily shimmied from his grip to finish cleaning up the counter. only to find herself reattached to his chest. leaning her head back onto his shoulder, lily cocked an eyebrow up at him, wondering what he was getting at.

        "do you remember our first kiss?" he whispered, "we were right here. the night of the party. you had made us coffee. we were looking at the picture of you right after giving birth." he cooed, hand splaying across her stomach, "that's the most beautiful picture of you I have ever seen." he continued, fingers drawing small circles on her lower stomach.

        lily remembered that night so vividly. both because of the events that had lead up to it, but also because of the way he kissed her. so gentle and soft, how it lingered after. the pressure becoming a familiar pleasure to her in the weeks to ensue. it was a night to remember, that was for sure. in more way than one. the morning after may have become her favourite memory to revisit somedays. seeing bucky pouring cereal at the table for a sleepy hunter. engrossed in their own conversations before lily had come down. she wished she could have frozen that moment and lived in it forever. but she knew better now, because those events were all the product of her parents own misfortunes and her son being in a spot of danger.

         "alexa, play songs from the fourties." his voice cooed, eliciting an agreement from the machine. soft swing music played through the kitchen and lily shook her head.

        "were you this much of a charmer back then as well,  james?" she teased, spinning around in his arms and placing her own around his neck.

        "much more of a player," he admitted, swaying gently to the music, "steve says I was a real lady killer. I think I was just trying to find the perfect fit." bucky whispered, leaning his forehead down onto lily's, "I had short hair back then too."

        "oh I know. we learned about you in our history books," she chuckled, gazing into his deep eyes, "you were a real heart throb for a while in my class."

        "yeah? what'd you think of the short hair, doll?" he purred, ghosting his lips against hers.

       reaching her hand upwards, and tangling her supple fingers in the strands of dark hair, she smiled, "I like it long. but I did have a massive crush on you with short hair." she admitted, swaying her hips along with the music.

        "well lucky for you," he chuckled, "I have a haircut tomorrow. now I know what I'm going to do with it." bucky winked, sliding his arms away from her waist, "I'll see you upstairs, doll."

        lily stood breathless as she watched bucky turn and walk up the stairs, sending her a quick wink before disappearing around the corner into her bedroom. her chest heaved up and down as the music continued to play faintly in the background. mostly all she could hear was the pounding of her own heart playing a melody in her ears. blood pumping like madness as she tried to digest the idea of her being able to see him with short hair in real life. it excited her. but what mostly left her gasping for air, was the way his hand ran along her lower stomach. rubbing gentle circles as they talked about her pregnancy and the possibility of a family.

        he wanted a family. with her.

       stopping the music, lily collected her thoughts. okay, yeah so she was now in a relationship with him. a serious, adult, relationship. something she had hid herself away from for years. yet she couldn't escape him. and the idea of kids...well lily's heart skipped a beat. she'd love to have more, but she was slightly scared with hunter. it had always been the two of them, and she was worried if even bucky was pushing it. but then she remembered the moment from earlier, when he had asked both of them for permission. bucky was slowly but surely taking that father like role that hunter had been missing. that kindness and similarities that lily couldn't necessarily make up for.

       letting out a breath, she walked up the stairs and beckoned joey to follow. just as she went to open her bedroom door, she heard faint voices seeping through hunters door. biting her lip, she tip toed towards the white wooden entrance and leaned her ear up against it softly.

       "mr. barnes is so cool." luke's voice rang as she listened in. a smile creeping onto her lips.

       "yeah!" finn's voice chimed in, "is he like your step-dad or something?"

       lily's breath caught in her throat. this could go two very different ways. and she was terrified it would go the way that would result in the end of whatever her and bucky had. if hunter didn't like bucky, or didn't think of him in that way, lily would have read the entire situation wrong. meaning she would have to completely rethink her choices.

      "not really. he's like a father figure though," hunter responded, "more than my dad was. plus he also makes my mom happy. we get along well and yeah...I guess I sort of see him like a step dad now that I say it out loud," he continued. and lily felt her entire world become complete at his words. "dude did you just crap yourself?"

       dropping her head, lily let out a gentle laugh before turning and walking back towards her own room. opening the door, she saw bucky laying under the covers with the tv on, watching some documentary about who knows what. changing into her pyjama shorts and a loose shirt, lily washed her face and let her hair down before climbing under the soft covers and turning towards bucky. a surge of confidence rang through her. when he caught her eyes though...

        well she just couldn't help herself.

       she just prayed she stayed quiet enough for rose not to razz her about it.

[soniabigcheese]

10th December - Star of Wonder

For @willow-salix and all the other John fans out there. Hope I did him some justice. Won't tag anyone just in case they don't want to be involved.

Nothing smutty. Just a plain and simple story.

It started out as a simple check up, to see if he had any information regarding the disappearance of their dad.

Because John always knew.

But then it grew into a habit. A means of checking up on him, when he wasn't Earth side. Especially after the EOS incident.

Yeah sure, he'd convinced this accidentally created AI unit that they weren't a threat. But deep down inside ... there were misgivings, uncertainties.

But if John could keep her under control .. then everything was fine. They hoped.

Scott would make an excuse to ask about benign things like the weather reports and other such dumb stuff, then sign out with a goodnight.

Virgil's turn would be idle chatter about the latest piece of music he'd finally learned to master ... or show off the canvas he'd been working on. Then tack on the upgrades made on his 'Bird.

Gordon would jump in unexpectedly, enthusing about the latest episodes of Buddy and Ellie's travels. Then quietly confide in his brother, regarding the aches and pains that sometimes cropped up after his encounter with the Chaos Crew. Bones had been reset correctly thanks to the expertise of the medical staff. Physio was a success, but there were times when everything just ... seized up without warning. He quickly assured John that he was keeping up with his exercises. Then signed off with a cheeky wink and 'say hi to EOS for me'

Alan contacted John a bit more frequently, regarding his home schooling. Complaining that this stuff was boring and could he please please play games?

Kayo popped in briefly, to give him curt and precise security details, then popped back out.

Brains rarely checked in, but when he did, it was mostly to update John on some amazing upgrades and inventions he'd been working on. Filling the space monitor in on how things are going. Finishing off with ... MAX says hello. Much to the bafflement of EOS

Grandma Tracy was there to remind John that he was due to come off duty. Of course, he could have told EOS to set up a reminder. But still.

Lady Penelope rarely popped in. She was too tired from her busy 'non International Rescue ' schedule. But when she did, it was to ask him if he needed some tea. And ended up with Parker chipping in, threatening to send Sherbet into space to join him.

Yeah, these were small gestures, but they showed that they all cared in one way or another, about John. Who was never lonely up in space.

And if they missed a day, then they would cast their eyes up into the night sky, like many many others around the world. And see the glint of Thunderbird Five, streaking through the upper atmosphere.

Like a shooting star.

A beacon of hope

A star of wonder

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

Not So Bad

Pairings: Avengers!Reader x Daniel Sousa, Steve x Bucky (mentioned briefly) 

Summary: What happens when Tony and Natasha don’t die in the final battle with Thanos? Steve’s boyfriend has been returned from the dust and all his friends are alive and well. He has very little to gain from going back in time and everything to lose, so you volunteer to return the stones. Everything was going swimmingly until a Pym Particle malfunction left you stranded in 1949 with little hope of return. You seek out Howard Stark, hoping he’ll be able to come up with a solution to get you back. However, the longer you remain stranded, the more you start to realize maybe the past isn’t so bad after all.

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: mild swearing, slight fear of needles/experimentation. 

A/N: Rewatching Agent Carter and the new season of Agents of SHIELD have me on a high Sousa high but I’ve noticed there aren’t many Sousa x Reader fics on this site so I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands. Let me know if I should write a part 2! 

Sequel

___

“Shit,” you gasped, frantically hitting the device on your wrist. “Shit shit shit shit.” 

You were standing in a supply closet though you were supposed to be standing in Tony’s yard, surrounded by the rest of the Avengers team as you celebrate the defeat of Thanos and saving the world one more time. The party was also doubling as Steve’s retirement party; he was finally passing the shield and title of Captain America to Sam and settling down with Bucky. Your travels to return the Infinity Stones had left you famished and you were craving a slice of celebratory cake but there you were, stuck in a 1940s supply closet. 

“Damn you, Scott Lang,” you cursed under your breath once you realized the device wouldn’t be sending you back to the present (or is it technically the future?) anytime soon. 

You let your back slide down the wall, resting on the floor as you wracked your brain for a solution. Lord knows you weren’t qualified to tinker with the device, all this time travel stuff hurt your head when you thought about it too much. The only people who knew what they were doing were Scott and Tony and they were still in the present, probably slicing into that delicious cake right now…

Your stomach rumbled and you groaned. “Damn you, Stark.” 

Then it hit you. 

“Oh my gosh! Stark!” You shouted your epiphany before remembering where you were and slapping a hand over your own mouth, only removing it once you were sure no one had heard you. 

At least you had your solution. Find Howard Stark, fix the device, return to the present (future?), eat some food. 

Your stomach rumbled again. Maybe food should be higher on your to-do list. 

___

You were kinda surprised when you didn’t cry upon learning that Howard Stark’s jet had just left for Los Angeles. You were stranded in Camp Lehigh, 74 years into the past, and your one shot at getting back just flew across the country. 

Alright, new objective: find Peggy Carter, surely she could get you to LA. Of course, you’d have to find a way to convince her to help you without destroying the timeline. You’ll also have to figure out how to get Howard’s help without telling him you’re a time-traveler and without giving him the ability to recreate the device. Holy shit you were never going to get home. 

You were so caught up in your own mind that you weren’t paying attention to where you were going until you were abruptly knocked over. 

“Oh my gosh, are you alright?” A concerned voice rang out above you and you looked up to see a hand reaching out to help you up. A hand that was attached to an extremely attractive dark-haired man. 

You took the hand, allowing the man to help you off the floor as you apologized, “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying any attention!”

“That’s alright, I wasn’t either.” He said, head tilted down in embarrassment. 

The pair of you lingered awkwardly, neither showing any intention of carrying on your separate ways. Finally, the man broke the silence.

“Um, can I help you at all?” He asked, cheeks flushing slightly as he met your eyes for the first time. 

“Uh, yeah, actually.” You responded, your voice suddenly becoming inexplicably quiet. “I’m looking for Howard Stark?”

No, you idiot! You cursed yourself, you know where Howard is! You’re looking for Peggy Carter.

“You just missed him.” The man gave you a sad chuckle. “His plane just took off for LA.” 

“Shit.” You cursed, trying to channel your frustrations into accurately faking a reaction to bad news you had already received. It wasn’t until you saw the look on the man’s face that you remembered where, or rather when, you were. “Aw hell, don’t tell me you’re one of those guys who thinks it’s inappropriate for women to curse?” 

Wow, y/n you’re really nailing it with the first impressions here.

“N-not at all,” The man’s eyes were blown wide as he stumbled to explain himself. “I’d be damned if I thought women weren’t fit to do anything a man could. You just don’t hear many women cursing around here, is all.”

You peered at him curiously, head tilted slightly as you did so. He wasn’t at all what you had expected from the time period. 

“Any chance you could direct me to Agent Carter’s office?” You finally spoke, changing the subject, needing to get back on mission. “If Stark forgot my meeting then I’ll have to find a way to LA, I figure Agent Carter’s my best bet.” 

You knew making up an appointment with Stark was going to bite you in the ass later when he didn’t know who you were but you decided you’d cross that bridge when you came to it. Right now, you needed to get to Stark as quickly as possible and this seemed like the best way to do it. 

“Oh, I was actually headed there myself. I’ll walk you.” The man offered and you smiled gratefully, following him down the hallway, past your supply closet before finally reaching a door that said “Director Peggy Carter.”

“After you,” the man said kindly, holding the door open for you and you stepped into the office. 

You’d seen pictures of Peggy Carter. Of course you had, nobody made it through the World War II section of their history class without seeing at least one picture of Peggy Carter, and well, you worked with Steve so you’d seen plenty of other pictures as well. But Carter was much more stunning in person and no picture could capture the way she held a room. 

“Daniel, it’s good to see you,” You assumed she was greeting the man now stood beside you as you never got his name. “Who’s this?” 

“Oh, uh…” Daniel trailed off, seeming to only just realize he hadn’t gotten your name either. 

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you answered, saving the man from fumbling any longer. 

“Are you new to base, Agent Y/L/N?” Carter asked, looking at you as if she was trying to remember you but was coming up blank. 

“Oh, I’m not an agent,” you corrected before you could stop yourself. You were on a secure SHIELD base and you just told the director that you weren’t an agent, it sounded suspicious even to you. 

“Then what are you doing on my base?” She asked, tone direct but not harsh. 

“I was supposed to be meeting Mr. Stark for an, uh, appointment?” Your hesitation to commit to your flimsy cover was clearly interpreted as something else as Carter’s gaze became stern. 

“An ‘appointment’?” Her lips pursed as she repeated your excuse and you winced. “Well Miss Y/L/N, Howard Stark is no longer here, in fact, he’s no longer in this state and I have no intention of letting one of his women running around my base.” 

Oh my god. 

You couldn’t help the flush that erupted under your skin at the implication. 

“Oh, no, ma’am.” You began to correct her before you could become any more embarrassed. “It’s a strictly professional appointment. He wanted to, uh, run some tests?” 

This time your embarrassment saved your poor excuse of a cover story. You really needed to actually come up with something rather than making it up as you went, you were going to get caught. 

“Tests for what?” You could tell this was her own curiosities shining through, as everyone in the room knew it was none of their business what Stark was going to “test” you for, but well, you could exactly plead the fifth now. Especially not when Peggy Carter though you were a call girl. 

“It’s uh, it’s a bit personal ma’am,” you said softly, hoping to dissuade her from pressing further but she just raised her eyebrows as if to say “go on.” You glanced at the man on your left, really not wanting to say this in front of more people than necessary. Carter seemed to notice your reluctance and pursed her lips once more,

“Miss Y/L/N, Agent Sousa is the head of our West Coast division and your best chance at getting to Los Angeles. Whatever you have to say, you say to both of us.”

You sighed, wondering if what you were about to do was worth it but you couldn’t think of any other reasonable excuse so you started talking. 

“Well, ma’am, I sorta... levitate.” You practically whispered the last word, as if it was deeply offensive. 

It wasn’t a lie per se, you could levitate but you could do much more than just that. You could fly and you could also turn invisible but you decided to leave all that out, sticking with an ability that could be perceived as an anomaly. Something that would greatly interest a man like Howard Stark. 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m not quite sure how, ma’am.” You played into the anomaly angle, hoping they’d buy it. “It just happens sometimes and I can’t control it.”

“Daniel, Miss Y/L/N will be joining you on your flight to LA,” Carter informed the man and he readily nodded. It seemed you had a convincing cover after all. You made a mental note to thank Nat for all those espionage classes when you get back home. 

___

“I’m just going to take a blood sample and then you’re free to go,” Howard said and you winced. You weren’t a fan of needles, especially when it came to learning about your abilities; you had gone through enough of that in your life already, but here you were subjecting yourself to the experiments once again. You had to keep reminding yourself that it was for the mission. 

To his credit, Daniel Sousa had not left your side since you met at Camp Lehigh. At first, it had been cumbersome, as you were unable to ask Howard for help with your actual problem. But now you were thankful for his presence, it had become something of a comfort through all your stress and anxieties over your current situation. 

It seemed as though Sousa could sense your discomfort, reaching out a hand as Howard prepped the needle. You took it gladly, squeezing tight enough for the man to groan slightly and catch Howard’s attention. 

You thought you heard him mutter “cute” and you blushed slightly before he stuck you with the needle and all your attention went back to squeezing the life out of Sousa’s hand, clenching your eyes shut in a failed attempt to pretend none of this was real. 

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding when Howard removed the needle, though it took you a few moments longer to let go of Sousa’s hand, almost having forgotten you were holding it in the first place. You muttered a quiet apology when you saw him massaging his hand but he merely smiled at you as if to say you had nothing to be sorry about. 

“That’s all I need from you today Miss Y/L/N,” Howard spoke cheerfully, pulling off his gloves and jotting something down on a clipboard. “If you don’t mind, though, I’d like to have you come back tomorrow for a few more tests.” 

You shuddered at the idea but nodded anyway but Sousa ran a hand down half his face in what you weren’t sure was tiredness or frustration. 

“Stark, it’s four a.m.,” He sighed as if he was used to Stark’s night-owl tendencies. “Surely you don’t expect her to be back here in a few hours after you already forced her to pull an all-nighter for your tests.”

You couldn’t stop your heart from swelling at the man’s words. It had been a long time since you had felt so seen by another person and though you could take care of yourself, it was nice to have someone stick up for you. 

“Well, what do you know, it is.” Stark mused thoughtfully, “I never can keep track of time when my mind’s on a project.” He trailed off then as he thought. The silence was a bit alarming, Howard had barely stopped talking long enough to breathe since you had arrived. 

“Very well, Miss Y/L/N, take tomorrow- or I suppose, today- off and come back the next day. I should have your blood sample analyzed by then too, which’ll give us something more to go off of.” 

You nodded, equal parts relieved and anxious. You were thankful for a test-free day however that meant it would be another twenty-four hours until you could talk to Stark about fixing his son’s time travel device. But for the time being you let Sousa drive you back to his place where he insisted on making up the sofa bed for you without any help. 

Your heart warmed as you watched the man do everything in his power to make sure you were comfortable. You had known each other for less than a day but already he had opened up his home to you. You couldn’t help the flutter in your stomach as you watched him limp around the house gathering bedding and anything else you might need while repeatedly shooting down your offers to help out. It felt nice to be taken care of for once. 

“I’ll talk to Rose tomorrow about getting you some other clothes,” you didn’t know who Rose was but you knew Daniel Sousa, head of the West Coast division of SHIELD, didn’t need to be concerning himself with getting some rando new clothes and yet there he was, already making plans to do just that. “But for now, I hope these work.” He looked away shyly as he offered some of his own clothing up to you. 

You muttered a shy “thank you” of your own as you accepted the T-shirt and pair of sweatpants.  

“Bathroom’s right down the hall, towels are in the closet if you want to shower.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck as he nodded in the direction of the bathroom. 

“Thank you, Agent Sousa.” You said sincerely. 

“You’re staying in my house, I think you can call me Daniel.” He corrected with a small smile. 

“Alright then, thank you, Daniel.” 

You padded down the hall to the bathroom, borrowed clothing clutched in your arms. It felt nice to step under the warm water. While it would only be a few seconds for your team, returning the Infinity Stones had taken quite a bit of time and though your mission was far from over, you were grateful for a moment to relax. You left the bathroom feeling, and smelling, like a whole new person. You weren’t sure, but you thought you saw Daniel’s face redden when you reentered the living room in his clothes before he ducked his head, hiding his face from your view. 

“Do you need anything else Miss Y/L/N?” Daniel asked as you gingerly sat on the edge of the sofa bed. 

“I’m staying in your house, I think you can call me Y/N.” You grinned as you parroted back his words from earlier and he laughed warmly. 

“Well, try and get as much sleep as you can, Y/N, and we’ll worry about everything else once we’re rested.” He smiled reassuringly, as though sensing how lost you felt though not knowing just how lost you truly were. “I’ll be at the end of the hall if you need anything.” 

You nodded with an appreciative smile before exchanging quiet goodnights. You watched Daniel make his way down the hall to his bedroom and close the door before you laid down yourself. The sofa bed was surprisingly comfortable and you suddenly realized how truly exhausted you were. As you laid in the dark on a stranger’s bed in a stranger’s home in a strange time you thought back through the events of the last twenty-four hours and your stomach erupted into butterflies again when your thoughts landed on a certain handsome, dark-haired agent. 

The last thought you had before drifting off to sleep was ‘maybe the past isn’t so bad.’

[roselen-mylady]

In Another Life

Bucky Barnes x reader ° part seven

Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.

But the pain in their lives were connected.

Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occured she lost him.

And Bucky never got to meet her.

The diner was quiet, despite the time of day. Light chatter echoed around them but Y/n could hardly notice, her gaze and attention all focused on the large, green man before her. 

Bruce Banner was another idol of hers. He was one of the only brains to compete with hers, aside from Tony Stark, and she admired his work. It was his work after all that had attracted her full attention in that diner. 

The once timid looking man who stood small and nervous during lectures now sat confident and relaxed upon his chair, shoveling the biggest portions of food she had ever seen into his mouth. 

When Steve and Nat mentioned a genius her mind had immediately come to the much more civilized Hulk, but he wasn't their first stop. No, when they pulled up at a small cabin outside of the city, she was confused. 

It was secluded so it was easy to convince herself that they had arrived at Bruce Banner's home but that idea was thrown out the window when a familiar figure stepped away from the small tent out front. She recognized him in an instant and sunk back into herself once realization struck that she was at Tony Stark's home. 

"Who's the new girl?" He asked, curiously sending a glance Y/n's way as he adjusted his hold on the girl in his arms. 

"Dr. Y/n L/n. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark." Her voice cracked slightly but he didn't seem to mind as he reached out for Y/n's hand, shifting the small girl to his hip. 

"Iron Man fan?" He questioned, his grip on her hand soothing in a way. Y/n offered a short shrug, sending a warm look to the girl Y/n assumed was his daughter. 

"More of a 'Tony Stark the philanthropist' fan." A shy smile caked her face and Tony found himself returning it. It was new to him, the way someone admired his true persona rather than the superhero he had made himself to be. It was a welcomed feeling. 

"Well, Doc, since I've got you here-there's this pain in my neck." Tony slipped his hand from her own, moving to rub a spot on his neck. His daughter let her fingers entwine with his own as he did so and the heartwarming smile he gave her reminded Y/n very much of her own father. 

It seemed forever ago since she last saw his proud grin and she allowed herself to wonder what he would think of her life. What would her mother think? Would they be proud? Or would they share the same disappointment she now felt in herself for lying and cowering for so many years? 

"I'd recommend a chiropractor, I'm afraid I'm a PhD type of doctor." Her tone was strained, Steve being the only one to notice it. He knew she was thinking of her past. It was a look he had seen on too many people. A look of loss. He just wished she'd finally let down her walls. 

"I feel like I know you." 

Tony's statement sent a chill down her spine but she did her best to ignore the feeling, allowing yet another smile to grace her lips. 

"I wish." Y/n gave a short giggle, forcing away any suspicion Tony might've had. His eyes lingered on her for a moment but ultimately turned away, carrying on with their reason for visiting. 

Despite their pleas, Tony rejected their idea not that they could blame him. And while Y/n would've loved to work with him, she had just been ecstatic to meet the famous Tony Stark she looked up to all her life. 

He was the reason she took such an interest in science and technology. She was once trained to be the next Tony Stark after all. It was interesting seeing how different their lives had ended up, Tony choosing a life away from people while she chose to help them. She still admired him and she absolutely fell in love with his daughter, Morgan, an innocent replica of her father. 

There had once been a time when she imagined her and her soulmate having the stereotypical suburban life; married with kids. However when the snap occured, any hope of that life died with her soulmate. 

Yet this didn't stop her from pondering an alternative. She wondered if she and her soulmate did have a life together, what it would be like? What would he be like? Was he funny? Was he kind? Was he charming? Were his eyes really blue? 

"About what we were saying…" Steve said, capturing their attention once more. Scott wore a baffled and angry look after the whole picture interaction and Y/n couldn't help but be amused as he sat next to her with a pout. 

"Right. The whole time travel do-over? Guys, it's outside my area of expertise." Bruce explained. Y/n's heart sank and she sighed, her eyes subconsciously searching for Steve's. His eyes were still hopeful and he turned away from her trying to convince Bruce to help. 

"Y/n said she could get it started. Couldn't that help?" He questioned, almost desperate as Y/n shared a look with Bruce. She could tell he wanted to help just as much as the next guy but their entire plan rested on something that came straight out of a movie. 

"Steve, leading an experiment like this would be impossible if I don't even know where to start." Bruce tried to explain gently. Nat stared at Bruce, her expression unconvinced and even a little encouraging as a soft smirk twisted on her lips. 

"Well, you pulled this off. I remember a time when that seemed pretty impossible, too." She replied. Bruce fell silent, looking down at himself as he contemplated the decision. It would be risky but they didn't really have much else to lose, right? 

•••

Bruce had come back with them to the compound and after explaining the strategy she'd come up with, Y/n set off to find Steve. 

He'd been quiet since she'd asked him the truth about Bucky. She regretted it, having pushed him so far. But she was also kind of relieved. 

Finally she understood how her life had fallen apart. Understood why the man she feared had done what he did. 

She even understood why his eyes had looked the way they did that day. The pain and suffering within them made sense and the eyes that accompanied her nightmares only filled her with heartache. 

Would the guilt ever fade? Or would she just continue to find more things to feel guilt for? 

After a bit of searching, she found Steve in his room, leaning against the headrest of his bed. The room was neat and if it hadn't been for the few personal effects on the dresser she would've argued it wasn't lived in. In a way that was true since a majority of his nights were spent at her apartment whether it be movie nights, game nights or simply nights spent together doing their own things. 

Steve looked up from his sketchbook when she softly knocked on the door frame, leaning on it as he set down the book. 

"Come in." She wordlessly padded over, climbing up to sit next to him. Their shoulders brushed and the calming effect that came with her presence uplifted his spirits causing him to look over at her with a tender smile. 

"Let me guess. You wanna know what's wrong." He acknowledged. Y/n studied his thoughtful eyes, shaking her head with a brief exhale as she turned away. 

"You have a way of staring into someone's soul. Did that come with the serum or has it always been like that?" She asked him, her tone teasing yet a little genuine. He shrugged letting out a small laugh. 

The sound out her at ease, telling Y/n that he wasn't angry. At least not at her. Their interaction in the car had hurt both of them and Steve didn't want to continue it any longer. 

"I don't know. I guess I've always been a little intense." His smile faded slowly, allowing his gaze to fall back on the sketchbook. He'd been drawing a familiar sight, unable to get his best friend out of his head. 

Y/n followed his stare, landing on the drawing scribbled onto the page. Respectfully reaching over and picking it up, she looked up at Steve. He made no effort to stop her, watching as her finger traced the curve of the face upon the page. 

It was a rough drawing due to Steve's lack of time to really add the details he wished to but Y/n had seen plenty of his art so he didn't mind as much. Her lips parted but she didn't speak instead creasing her brow as she intently stared at the page. 

Steve had drawn Bucky plenty of times before but shamefully most had been of the Winter Soldier. He used drawing as a way to drag certain images from his head and nothing haunted him more than the monster HYDRA had made his best friend into. 

Yet this drawing was different. He drew him the way he remembered Bucky, from before the snap. When he was getting better. 

On the page was a tired man, a man she'd never seen before. There was a permanent crease in his brow, decades of pointed stares and menacing expressions having worn it into his very features. A bit of stubble had grown on his face and his hair was long like she remembered. Even his expression as exhausted staring back at her with a weak smile. 

Y/n wondered what moment Steve had drawn this from. What had happened to make Steve catalogue this within his memories. She wondered what had caused that look in his eyes. 

The eyes that stared back at her were completely different from the ones she remembered, though she knew they belonged to the same man. These were kind yet weary: eyes of a man who had broken by war and hate but still felt things like compassion. A man who saw the worst of the world but still chose to protect it. . 

"This was him?" She mumbled softly, meeting Steve's uncertain gaze. 

He nodded, watching as she looked away from him. 

This picture seemed to be her breaking point. 

All the rage and all the terror, all of it melted into the already overflowing pool of self hatred. How could she bear to think about the grudge she'd held against a man who despite everything that the world had done to him, still fought Thanos that day when the world ended. 

Today she had learned all at once the man behind the one she feared and all the hate she once felt was unjust. And as much as she wanted to hold onto it, she just couldn't. 

It was wrong. 

"You can keep it if you want." Steve offered once she had handed him back the sketchbook. She began to shake her head, trying to reason it meant more to him than to her but Steve had already pulled out the page handing it to her. 

"To remember who he really was." He reasoned. 

Y/n held it tenderly in her hands, taking care to lay it in her lap as if touching the page in any rough manner might damage the man displayed on it. 

When the silence came it didn't feel as suffocating as before. They sat there on his bed for an hour in that silence. Y/n was grateful for the time to think, trying desperately to come to terms with everything she'd been told. 

And it wasn't until Y/n was about to get up and head home for a change of clothes that Steve spoke, breaking the silence. 

"I know why you came." Steve said suddenly, making her lift her head to peer up at him. Shame flushed over him and Y/n could feel her heart drop. "You want to know why I wanted you to stay so bad. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-" 

"You think keeping me around was a mistake, don't you?" 

Steve's expression morphed into shock and he instantly shook his head at her assumption. Allowing him to take her hand in his, she felt a bit ashamed for how hurt he was by what she had said. 

"No. Never. I want you here because I sincerely believe you can help us. You can help me." Y/n sighed, her eyes landing on their outstretched legs. She let him idly circle his thumb along the back of her hand, trying to fight the urge to argue. 

"I want to help, Steve. And I think I can, just..." She trailed off. "This is your thing, Steve. Not mine. I'm not equipped for this. I wish I was, I really do." 

A frown tugged at his lips and his lashes brushed his skin briefly as his eyes fell on his lap. He knew it was unfair to her to bring her into this and it certainly wasn't okay to keep her against her will but he needed her. 

"I know. And I'm sorry. Just-" He cut himself off, shifting on the bed to face her better. She watched with an unsure gaze as he took both of her hands. "Ever since I could remember I've done what I thought was right and for a while it worked. But the past few years, I've ruined so much." 

His voice was hushed and Y/n could see how troubled he was by his furrowed brow and clouded eyes. His eyes were trained on their intertwined hands, her touch filling him with a familiar ease. One he'd known all his life. 

"Things have gotten too hard. Being Captain America isn't white and black anymore and when we lost, I didn't see a point. But then I met you and things were easy again. I didn't have to be Captain America, I could just be Steve." He confessed. 

He felt guilty, not that his words weren't true. If anything, this was the most honest he had been with her. But the guilt that seeped into his heart came from Bucky. He hadn't just failed the world, he failed all of his friends, all people he would fondly consider his new family. Could he really risk losing again? 

"I don't know if that even makes sense but I need you here. I need to be Steve." He dared to take a glimpse at her, fearing she might condemn him. Instead a warm smile graced Y/n's features, patient and kind like Bucky always was. 

"Okay." She whispered, her heart clenching as she forced the simple word. She couldn't shake the feeling that her luck hadn't yet turned. Everytime she tried to help, it destroyed everything around her. She couldn't let that happen again. "I'm gonna go get some stuff from the apartment then you have my wholehearted assistance."

Y/n carefully tucked the picture into her pocket before climbing off the bed, standing next to it as Steve swung his legs over the edge. "Do you want me to go with you?" He offered. She shook her head, pulling her hair up and tying it. 

"Nah, I'll be ok. What, you scared I'll run away?" She attempted to lighten the mood. Steve chuckled as she walked over to the door running her fingers along the wall before pausing. He watched her small frame hesitate before shooting a short glance back at him. "Hey, uh- just…don't do anything stupid till I get back." She pleaded, earnest concern in her tone as he pushed off the bed. 

A soft smirk came to his face and he lifted a shoulder in a lazy shrug. "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." He replied instantly, not giving it too much thought. Y/n scoffed, rolling her eyes and letting her fingers wrap around the doorframe as she stepped out into the hall. 

"Grandpa's got jokes now." She offered a genuine laugh, her smile lingering upon her lips. 

Then she disappeared down the hall, leaving him standing silently in the now empty room trying in vain to brush away the painful overlap. 

•••

When she got back to the apartment she packed a bag of essentials for herself, making sure to stop by Steve's room and pack a few extra clothes in case he needed them. Speaking of the man, she scoffed looking at the full sink. 

"Steven Rogers, I swear." A long sigh filled the quiet apartment as she set about washing the dishes he'd promised to take care of. While she was at it she took care of a few other chores since she wasn't sure when she would be back again. 

There wasn't much to be abandoned at the apartment other than a few plants but they'd been dead for a couple days at that point. She never had been one to have a green thumb but Steve claimed having them around gave the apartment some life. 

Ironic.

The walk back to the compound was peaceful even in the constant gloom of the city. Knowing there was a shift in the atmosphere filled her with a new type of feeling, one she hadn't experienced in a really long time.  

There had been people on the street, going about their business. Everything was dulled compared to life before the snap but she hadn't noticed until she knew there was something to be done. How many times she had gone about her life while something was happening behind the scenes that she had been so painfully oblivious to? Perhaps that was why the Sokovia Accords had been created in the first place. 

There were so many close calls the Avengers prevented that the public didn't even know about until it was on the news. Though she didn't agree with the Accords she understood the government's wish to be more aware and even in control. 

Once reaching the compound, Nat let her in through the gate and Y/n began her trek to the building. Tugging her hair free of the hair tie, it fell loose around her face and she cringed at the grease starting to build on her scalp. Moving through the halls of the compound, she let herself really explore. 

Despite years of friendship she hadn't really been at the compound for longer than a few hours at a time, most of the visit being spent in the training room with Nat. Steve explained he wanted to keep his friendship with her separate from his life as an Avenger and since she had been doing everything in her power to forget her past, she appreciated the separation. 

As she continued to wonder, she hoped there'd be a shower somewhere on the large complex. But before she could ask anyone, her silent venture was cut off by the sounds of very frantic voices coming from a door to her left. Hesitantly she stepped through, finding herself in a large open space with a very odd scene. 

 The horrid van had been brought in and the back glowed while what looked like a portal swirled inside it. A baby, she assumed to be Scott, stood on wobbly feet in a crudely made suit as everyone turned to her with alarmed expressions. Y/n dropped her bag and rushed forward, pushing Bruce aside as she pointed for Nat. 

"When I say kill the reactor, kill it!" Y/n demanded, adjusting the calculations on the panel as Nat rapidly walked over to the reactor. 

"Kill it!" Y/n called. Nat's frantic hands quickly pulled down the knob, turning off the reactor before looking back over to the van. Scott had returned to his position and normal age, his face contorted in shock and confusion. 

"Somebody peed my pants." Scott proclaimed making Nat sigh, walking over to them. Y/n let go of her own sigh of relief, stepping away from the control panel. Bruce looked over the work she'd done, his eyes widening for a split second before returning to Scott. 

"God, I leave you guys alone for one hour! I told you not to do anything!" She cried, sending an aggravated look at Steve. He cowered under her detested glare, bringing his hand to the back of his neck. 

"But I don't know if it was 'baby' me or 'old' me...or just 'me' me." Scott elaborated, earning an annoyed stare from Y/n. However Bruce did not share her agitation, holding up his hands dramatically. 

"Time travel!" He announced, a proud grin on his face as he looked to the others for the same enthusiasm. Steve refused to reply instead shaking his head and stalking off toward the exit while Y/n tried to calm her racing heart. She made them promise to wait for her. She knew something like this would happen. 

"What? I..I see this as an absolute win!" Bruce called after Steve. Nat and Y/n looked at one another before moving to check on Scott. He was fine other than some wet pants and suit which Y/n painfully took knowing they'd need the suit for another test run, one she knew she'd be leading. 

"Here, Bruce." Y/n tossed him the suit. He caught it with a scrunched nose, holding it at arm's length with a disgusted expression. 

"That's what you get for not waiting." 

Part eight

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[princeescaluswords]

Duuude! Totally agree about the Benefactor plot, it should've centered Meredith rather than her just being a tool of Peter's ravings. We could have delved deeper into her character and past, showed her interacting more with Lydia and learning Banshee history.

There were many things to like about Season 4′s plots.  

The culmination of Scott’s arc from Season 1, Episode 1 about coming to terms with being a werewolf, which required him to make a Beta of his own and being in a position not only to seek out both Peter’s, Chris’s and Derek’s help but to offer them help as well.  “You’re not a monster, you’re a werewolf, like me.”

Lydia, now knowing what she is, exploring what it could mean to her and her family by finding out Meredith’s and Lorraine’s stories.

Stiles coming to terms with the possession by the nogitsune, not by the way some parts of the fandom wanted him to, by self-indulgence or by sitting in the dark and crying, but by doing things: reminding Scott who he is, helping Malia become who she wants to be, aiding Lydia in her own search for identity.

Malia deciding to live in the human world, no matter how confusing and dangerous it is with its rules and its treacherous manipulators.

Kira’s frustration about the chaos that the kitsune reveal has created in her life.  What does she want?  What should she want?  Beacon Hills? Scott?  Lacrosse?  

The Benefactor and Kate’s storylines weren’t about the development of Meredith, Peter, or Kate herself.  They were the mainspring and the framework on which the development of those four characters happened. 

So why did it seem to many to be so disjointed and unfocused?  I have been convinced by @nyxelestia that I suspected Jeff Davis was told he should write for 24 episodes like he got in Season 3, but was suddenly told that he was only getting 12, and he didn’t have the self-discipline to cut enough.  He loved the idea of the ancient towers hidden behind the wall, so he kept them, even though he didn’t have enough time for them to make sense to the audience.

But the primary mistake was Peter.  If Jeff Davis got his suspected 24 episodes, Peter’s arc might have made more sense, but I doubt it.  Because -- and this was Jeff’s big failure throughout the series -- he tried to have his cake and eat it too.  He wanted Peter to be the villain -- especially if this was the final season, as I think he suspected it might be -- because it would bring the story full circle.  It would also pay off with Peter’s scheming in Season 3.  But, he understood that the fans loved, Sexy, Funny, Serial-Killer Uncle Petey, because white male villain, obviously!

So Peter was a villain in Season 4 but only peripherally.  The Dead Pool was his idea, but Meredith heard it in one and decided to put into action a plan of a person she had barely met in one of the season’s asspull coincidences.  He approached Kate with the idea of working with her but fully intended to betray her and destroy her as she deserved, even if he had to use the daughter he had just reconnected with to do it.   The audience really couldn’t blame him for trying to kill Scott, especially when faced with Scott’s behavior in the season with the money, and the plan was so convoluted and deliberately unexplained -- how many people in the audience realized that Peter would have to kill Liam to become alpha again after they killed Scott?  Suddenly Peter was once again mastermind even after he got pasted by teenagers in Season 1.  

As a digression, a lot of people argue that Peter was out of character to work with Kate, but they’re lying to themselves.  Of course, Peter would manipulate his enemies before murdering them -- it’s his modus operandi.  That and the fact that he would do anything to get what he wants.  The same villain who murdered his niece to get the alpha power would work with the person who murdered his family to get the alpha power.  That was the least out-of-character thing from Peter in the entire show.

But because Jeff Davis wanted to give Peter wiggle room not to be irredeemable, he made every other character play Idiot Ball.   Sheriff Stilinski watches Peter murder the Mute in police custody and does nothing.  Derek realizes that Peter’s regained his full strength and does nothing.  Parrish has been following Peter since Meredith’s interrogation but doesn’t show up after the kidnapping and that just escapes the Sheriff’s attention?   The Sheriff, supposedly, has called the FBI and the Border Patrol, but Rafael McCall doesn’t even call?  Malia has to have noticed that Peter is suddenly bravely rushing to Mexico to fight Berserkers when he fled from him before and does nothing.   Stiles, so convinced that Peter is up to something for the rest of the season, doesn’t notice how eager Peter is to rescue two people he supposedly cares nothing about.   No one calls him out on it, no one questions his motives, because suddenly, Sexy, Funny, Serial-Killer Uncle Petey’s killing sprees and vulgar manipulation are totally forgotten! 

Jeff didn’t make every single character into a moron just to set up a climactic fight between Scott and Peter.  He did it to position Peter as a viable, if immoral, alternative to Scott so he could bring Peter back in the future.   Look at the fight in La Iglesias -- the entire dialogue is once again about Peter justifying his point of view.  When he chews the scenery like a Republic Serial villain no one quips at him -- not even Stiles.  They let him ramble on about his family’s legacy, when he left Derek to die in the dirt outside and when he tried to send his daughter into danger.  

Jeff didn’t really want this to undermine Scott’s position as hero protagonist, which is the reason for the frankly ridiculous Matrix-style whoopass at the end. (Which, I suspect was not only designed to make us think Scott’s cool, but to also make the audience sympathetic to not killing Peter -- see! he’s not a serious threat!)   A gritty, bloody, down-to-the-nails fight would narratively demand a true conclusion, even if it was Severo starting up a chainsaw.  It’s the same sleight-of-hand we saw in season one, where we never saw anyone mourning for any of Peter’s minor victims.  It’s the same reason that they didn’t just lock Peter away and never mention him again, but instead ended the season with him screaming in fear of Valack.  Jeff wasn’t trying to gloat about Peter in pain, he was justifying when and why he would bring Peter back.

Jeff’s desire to make Peter the villain but still keep him as a character who could sass Scott in Season 6 and not get his ass kicked was a major contributing factor to the disjointed feel of Season 4. The gymnastics to make him the motive force behind the season but not fully culpable for the deaths and torment diffused the emotional impact of the scenes.   Sassy, Silly, Petey the Would-Be Alpha either needed to be the real villain or he needed not to be the villain, not exist in narrative limbo.   Limbo kills dramatic tension.