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marwritesgood · 4 months ago

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Come Back to Me | S. Harrington

Pairing: Steve x Hopper!Reader

Timeframe: Season 4

Summary: A long anticipated reunion, but nothing was going to plan.

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series masterlist // main masterlist

a/n: its good to be back :) adding a lil author’s note in the comment section regarding this pt x

December, 1978

Y/n couldn't sleep.

She wasn't sure what time it was. She wasn't sure how long it had been since her mom told her it was lights out, or how long she had been staring at the ceiling since, haunted by the silence. Time moved much differently now. Everything was different without Sara.

Knowing there was no chance she would be sleeping anytime soon, Y/n sat up shifted out from beneath her comforter, and carefully opened her bedroom door. As she crept closer to the kitchen, careful not to make too much noise to wake her parents, she realised her dad had already beaten her to the freezer.

“Y/n?" Hopper squinted and switched the kitchen light on to be sure. She looked a tired mess, but then again, so did he. “Bug, what are you still doing up?”

Y/n sighed, doubling back, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. Explaining herself to either one of her parents had become something she dreaded. It was the very reason she tried to limit her conversations with them altogether, not that they made it all that difficult.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

To her surprise, Hopper smiled. It was faint and hidden behind a sigh of his own, but it was there. Y/n wasn't sure why she was expecting a lecture followed by an order to go back to her room, but she knew she was grateful such a reaction was nowhere in sight.

“Me neither," Hopper replied, his eyes dancing between the floor and the door to the freezer. He looked back to his eldest daughter, now his only daughter, and pursed his lips. “I know it’s more of you and your mom’s thing but… I could really go for some ice cream right about now.”

Y/n smiled weakly, a quiet chuckle slipping out from between her lips.

“Me too.”

She took her seat at the dinner table and Hopper followed suit shortly after with a tub of ice cream and two spoons. They ate together in silence, each stealing quick glances at the other from time to time, both grateful for the precious moment in time where there was no expectation of them to do or be anything other than a father and his daughter eating ice cream in the middle of the night.

***

March, 1979

Y/n couldn't sleep.

She couldn't remember the last time she was able to, but she knew there was no chance of her being able to for a hell of a long time now. Every time she came close to drifting off, all she could see was her mom and Sara, two faces she would never be able to see again.

However, this time was different. This time, she drifted off for only a moment before waking up abruptly, a panicked mess. Her chest moved rapidly as she heaved, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to calm herself down, but to no avail.

Desperate for something, anything, to soothe her, she sprinted to the kitchen barefoot, too numb to feel anything much less the ground beneath her. Instinctively, she opened the freezer, hoping a few spoonfuls of ice cream would be enough to bring some sense back to her body, only to be met with emptiness.

It seemed three weeks of avoiding the groceries had finally caught up to the Hopper household.

As she shut the freezer close, the front door swung open. Hopper came stumbling in, barely bothering to close the door shut behind him, much less look where he was going. Y/n realised that this was routine for him as she watched him navigate his way through the clutter and rubbish and into his bedroom. He didn't even notice her standing in the kitchen, still hyperventilating, still a panicked mess.

This was how it was, she realised, and this was how it would be for a hell of a long time. With half of their family gone, it seemed only inevitable. Y/n stood frozen in the dark for a while, haunted and paralysed by the silence. She didn't feel like she was anyone's daughter, and it didn't feel like Hopper was anyone's dad anymore.

It appeared that they were nothing more than two ghosts tethered to a house, they no longer wanted to be in, but in no way tethered to each other anymore.

***

April, 1980

After listening to him fumble with his keys for a solid ten minutes, Y/n watched from the kitchen as Hopper came stumbling into their home. She cleared her throat.

“Where have you been?”

Hopper stumbled back, startled that Y/n was still awake. His breath hitched when he realised the look she had on her face. He knew this was an all-time low for him, but he felt too far-gone to abandon the habits he had developed over the past year, however bad they were.

“There was a holdup at the-“

“Are you drunk again?” Y/n's voice was loud and angry, sobering Hopper up completely for a split second. She kissed her teeth and shook her head. “Dad, come on, you promised me.”

This was not the first time Hopper had been called out on having too much to drink, and at the rate he was going at, Y/n knew it would not be the last. She hated the person he was turning into and hated herself for giving him the benefit of the doubt so many times.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, trying to stand straight and still, but failing miserably to do so. As he continued to sway, struggling to keep his balance, Y/n's brows drew closer together as she remembered the hellish evening she had to endure on her own.

“You know everyone was asking where you were.”

And naturally so, Y/n told herself. It was his wife's and his daughter's memorial and he was nowhere to be seen. Their friends and family came from all across the Midwest, but he couldn’t despite being in the same town.

“I’m sor—“

“Aunt Jenna kept telling me I was always welcome to go to her place in Michigan," Y/n interrupted him, her voice growing louder as she grew angrier just recounting the conversation.

Telling her she was welcome to come over anytime meant they had no faith in her dad’s ability to look after her, which Y/n resented and refused to play into.

"I had to lie to everyone, just to keep them from asking questions ab—“

“Dammit, Y/n, I said I was sorry!”

She gulped, taken aback by his outburst, but willing herself not to flinch or let it go. He had gone too far that night, and she was done giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Hopper's shoulders slumped and he drew in a sharp breath, regret seeping in almost instantly. He hated what his habits did to his temper, but not enough to resist what it did to his grief.

“I really am…" Hopper whispered, his feet finally steadying. "I’m sorry, bug.”

Usually that would be enough. A short apology and a half-hearted promise not to do it again and she would be off to her room and he'd be free to sleep the night off. This time, however, Y/n crossed her arms and clenched her jaw, giving Hopper the impression it wasn't enough. Far from it.

“You know, I wish you’d stop apologising and just be better, dad."

Her voice was as cold and piercing as the stony glare she unmistakably targeted at him. He lost her faith in him bit by bit over the course of the past year. Now, she was sick to death of his empty words.

Hopper winced. It was fair, part of him knew that. However, at the same time, an overwhelming part of him continued to scream that it was unfair. All of it.

He went to speak but found a quiet so escaping his lips.

“I just... I miss them so much.”

“I know, I miss them too," Y/n whispered softly, giving Hopper the impression that she was finally letting it go.

But, instead, her glare grew more piercing.

“That’s why I showed up to their fucking memorial," she hissed before going to her room and slamming the door shut.

Hopper collapsed onto the couch, but he couldn't sleep the night off. Instead, he laid awake, staring at the ceiling as it continued to spin, the sound of Y/n's voice echoing all night in his head. It was all unfair.

***

November, 1982

Y/n’s eyes closed and she was hoping to get even a few minutes of shut-eye but her father was not going to let that happened. It was bad enough she had to endure a lecture from him at the station, in front of her friends from school.

“You’re lucky officer Robinson recognised you and told me, otherwise you’d be spending the night at station with everyone else.”

Hopper gripped the steering wheel so tightly, his knuckles were beginning to turn pale. He gave his daughter a quick sideways glance before ultimately deciding it was in both of their best interest he kept his eyes on the road.

“Lucky me,” Y/n muttered, not even bothering to open her eyes, her head still rested against her window. She desperately hoped he would just move on already, but from the audible huff he let out, Y/n knew he still had much to say to her.

“What were you even thinking? Anything could have happened to you.”

Hopper's heart sank when he got the dispatch call from Robinson. The entire drive back to the station, all he could think of was all the sorts of trouble his daughter could have been in had she not been taken in.

Y/n was quiet for a moment. Letting out a sigh, she opened her eyes and looked at Hopper momentarily before turning back to the view outside her window. Maybe it wasn't the wisest choice, but underage drinking at a house party definitely beat sitting at home alone on a Saturday night for the millionth time in a row.

“…You’re never home,” she mumbled quietly.

“That’s no excuse, Y/n.”

He was right. It was no excuse. Not for her at least. Him not being home never stopped her from keeping the house in somewhat order, keeping her grades up at school and staying out of trouble. There was no doubt Y/n had it in her to do everything expected of her, but it wasn’t fair that for all she did for her dad, the favour was never paid back.

Y/n bursted into a fit of quiet cries.

"Bug?" Hopper's voice and expression softened completely. "Bug what’s going on?"

The fact that he didn't know made Y/n's tears multiply. Usually the lonely Saturday nights didn't bother her quite as much, but it was the anticipating sitting alone at home again the following week that really tore her up.

"It’s my birthday next week."

"Oh."

She wiped her tears and looked down at her fingers, too upset to look at her dad but too prideful to continue to cry in front of him. Things were so different now, and she hated it. More than anything, Y/n wanted things to be how they were before when there were four of them and not just two.

"Mom used to make my favourite for dinner and bake my favourite cake and we’d all eat together. But you’re never home and mom and Sara are…" Y/n couldn't bring herself to say it aloud, knowing if she did the waterworks would return. She sighed, leaning her head back and squeezing her eyes shut. "I’m just so sick of being alone."

Hopper was quiet. His grip on the steering wheel loosened. Suddenly, he felt like the biggest jerk for scolding Y/n instead of realising she was hurting. He hoped it was not too late to make things right.

"Let’s do dinner."

Y/n glance at him for a second and then let out a scoff. She had heard enough empty promises from him to know better than to trust anything that came out of his mouth.

"I’m serious, bug," he added, knowing what that scoff meant. "I’ll get off early and pick you up from work and we’ll have dinner together here. Just like we used to."

Y/n studied him closely, unsure what to make of his proposal.

"You promise?"

"I promise, bug." Hopper didn't miss a beat. "I’ll make it happen."

Y/n felt her worries ease.

"Ok. But I’ll make dinner for us," she insisted, knowing if it was one less thing her dad had to worry about, it was all the more easier for him to follow through. "You just have to pick me up, ok?"

"Ok," Hopper spoke softly, smiling when Y/n closed her eyes and leaned against her window again. It seemed easy enough to do.

***

April 6th, 1986

Joyce’s weird demeanour made Y/n nervous to open the door to her bedroom, but when she did, that feeling vanished instantly. He was half his weight, bald and beard-less, but there was no mistaking it. It was him, and he was standing up from the edge of her bed and smiling at her. Y/n’s eyes watered and she inhaled a shaky breath, her voice a croaky hushed whisper as she spoke in disbelief.

“Dad?”

She closed the door behind her and stepped in cautiously. The last time she saw her dad was through the vision Vecna showed to her. Y/n felt her chest tighten as mind struggled to decipher whether this necessitated her flight or fight response. Before she could make her mind up, Hopper had pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, quickly becoming choked up by it all.

Seeing her again and hugging her again, it made the previous 8 months of hell worth every excruciating second.

Y/n didn’t know whether to scream or burst out crying. It didn’t make sense. For that reason, she couldn’t bring herself to trust it just yet. Pulling away gently, she placed her hands on the side of his face, revelling in the fact that it was him. It was her dad.

“I-I thought you were…” Y/n shook her head, tears rolling down her face. “Is it really you?”

After everything at Starcourt, part of her did humour the idea that maybe her father didn’t die, but she quickly dismissed that trail of thought as a coping mechanism. She knew holding out for a miracle would do her no good.

“I’m right here, bug,” Hopper smiled.

Y/n’s tears were free falling the second he called her bug, something she had accepted no one would ever call her again. She shook her head and hugged her dad tightly, savouring the feeling of his embrace but also revelling in the fact that she didn’t need to. He was not dead.

After they pulled away, the two of them sat on the edge of Y/n’s bed and found themselves crying the laughing then sniffling then doing it all again, all while briefly going over the obvious changes.

Y/n joked about her dad’s hair and he brought up the way she rearranged her room. Y/n asked what happened to him and he muttered something about a prison and Russia and how he would bore her with the finer details later. Y/n’s heart swelled at the reminder that there was a later. That he was no going anywhere. That he was not dead.

“So… you and Steve?”

“Yeah,” Y/n chuckled. That was another reminder that made her heart swell. She had Steve as well as her dad now. They both came back her. “He’s done a lot of growing up, and he’s never left my side.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Hopper smiled.

Whatever reservations he once had about the Harrington kid, none of it mattered to him anymore. Y/n confirmation that he stuck by her, that counted for everything to Hopper.

Y/n studied her father closely, her concern growing tenfold as she noticed remnats of cuts and brusises across his face and along his arms. She hated to think about what it took for him to get out of the Russian prison or what the effects would do to him.

“Dad, are you ok? Are you… are you gonna be ok?”

Hopper reached for hand and squeezed it three times.

“Yeah, bug,” he assured her. “I mean… it was rough, obviously, but… I made it home.”

He hoped that was enough to cast her worries at bay, but by her unchanging expression, he knew there was something else bother her.

“Dad, I’m so sorry for what I said,” Y/n wept. It was the one thing she had spent the past few months desperately wanting to tell him. “I didn’t mean it, I swear.”

At least not in any way that made it ok to say to him, she reconciled.

Hopper squeezed her hand again and shook his head dismissively.

“It doesn’t matter.”

He kissed the top of her head and gave her a reassuring smile which she returned only without the sincerity. Something about his response did not sit right with her. While Y/n couldn't quite put her finger on it, she knew part of it was her hope that in being the first to say sorry, he would finally come around to saying it back.

Before more could be said, the sound of another vehicle pulling into the driveway travelled through Y/n’s open window. Hopper’s eyes lit up.

“I think that’s El and the others.”

He shifted to stand up, but Y/n kept him from doing so.

“Stay here, dad. I’ll get her for you.”

Part of her wanted a break from talking to Hopper, while the other desperately wanted for El to have her own time with their dad. Y/n knew that if seeing her dad alive and well made her heart swell the way it did, El’s reaction would only be bigger.

The van they drove in on was what Y/n recognised as Argyle’s ride. She barely made it off the front porch before being enguled by the all too familiar embrace of her littler sister.

“Y/n!” El was beaming, unable to keep stil as she hugged her big sister firmly. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you so much,” Y/n replied, running her hand over El’s shaven head and the squeezing her tightly. Nothing compared to the real deal.

“I’m so happy you’re ok,” El exclaimed after pulling apart from Y/n.

She hoped her sister had made it out ok, but there was no way of knowing for sure until they made it home. The entire drive to Hawkins, El’s stomach was in knots as she kept remembering the sight of Y/n laying unconscious in Steve’s arms.

“Yeah, I owe you one.” Thought parts of that night were still hazy to Y/n, she remembered El saving her clearly and vividly. “… I owe you a massive one.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” El replied instantly.

It was nothing Y/n wouldn’t have done for her had the roles been reversed. It was a nice change saving her for once when, for the last few years of El’s life, Y/n had been saving her.

“I have so much to tell you.”

“Me too,” Y/n smiled inconspicuously. “But first, you need to go to my room.”

“What?”

Her confusion made Y/n chuckle. Suddenly, Joyce’s demeanour earlier made a lot of sense.

“Just… trust me,” Y/n grinned, gently pushing El up the front porch steps. “We’ll catch up after.”

“Promise?” The younger girl turned around and held her pinky up. Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and looped her pinky with El’s, prompting her to turn back around and follow her sister’s instructions.

Watching El walk into the room where Hopper waited with illuminated eyes, a familiar knot began to form in Y/n’s stomach and she hated it fiercely.

***

April 9th, 1986

There was never a conversation about all the changes that would be made to the living arrangements at the cabin. When Steve, the Wheelers and Dustin went home, the Byers stayed and set up camp in the living room.

Y/n didn’t mind, at least not at first. However, the more Hopper, El and the Byers began to settle in, the more she found herself becoming irritated at the little disruptions it made to her usual routine.

She didn’t like having to constantly remind her dad she kept the mugs in a different cabinet now. She didn’t like waking up to a messy kitchen because Will and El raided the fridge at midnight. She didn’t like having to wait for the bathroom to be vacant to have a shower, only to realise her favourite shampoo was already empty because everyone assumed it was free for all.

Y/n hated feeling so annoyed by the people she cared so much for so, as much as the little disruptions irritated her, she tried her very best not to let her feelings surface. She told herself she just needed time to adjust and that, as overwhelming as the change could be, a full house was better than an empty one.

After a few days of much needed rest and settling in, Hopper announced to everyone that it was time to clean and declutter the cabin to make more room. Y/n reluctantly went along with it, even though watching Joyce and her boys move her stuff around the house made her skin crawl.

"Oh, hey Joyce, you cant throw that away," Y/n said hurriedly, recognising the box she was carrying outside to the 'trash' pile. Joyce stopped in her tracks, and sheepishly walked back in.

"Oh, I’m sorry. Hopper said he looked through and it was just old documents."

Y/n winced. Perhaps if her dad had spent less time reorganising her life and more time listening to her, they would be on the same page. Perhaps it wasn't fair of her to feel so irritated by Joyce and the boys when her annoyance should have been aimed at Hopper.

"Yeah, it is," Y/n began, softening her expression, "- but it’s also records of when the cabin came under my name."

It was sure to be important when it became time to sort through the nightmare of legal paperwork her dad's return from the dead caused.

"Oh, ok," Joyce nodded. "You want me to put it in your room for you?"

"Yes please."

The older woman obliged without another word, which Y/n appreciated more than she could say. It was nice to feel heard, especially after feeling like she was on the outside looking in for the past few days.

After a couple hours of decluttering and cleaning the living room with El, Y/n went to her room for a much needed break. By the time she mustered enough will to go back outside, she saw Joyce and El going through her box of all the polaroids and photographs Y/n came across when she cleaned the cabin 8 months ago.

“You guys found the old photos," Y/n beamed, picking up one of the pictures from the pile and grinning. It was of her and Sara.

“I was telling El it might be nice to put some up, make the cabin a little homier," Joyce suggested, smiling nervously. "Would you be ok with that, Y/n?”

She drew in a deep breath and smiled.

“Yeah, that sounds nice."

More than nice, Y/n thought to herself. She wondered if that was what made her so irritated about the Byers moving in: the lingering fear that the more Joyce and her sons settled into the cabin, the less space there would be for any memory of her mom and Sara.

This was a nice way of ensuring that didn't happen.

Joyce's eyes lit up when she pulled out another photograph. From the writing on the back, Y/n knew it was a photo Jonathan took of her, Steve and the kids after high school graduation.

“Oh my god, Hopper look at this one," Joyce beamed.

He stopped what he was doing in the kitchen and come to have a look. Joyce handed him the photo and he drew his brows together, smiling nervously as she glanced between the photo in his hand and the others in the box. Aside from the pictures with Sara and his wife, the rest were new to him.

“How come I’ve never seen these photos?”

Y/n didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or scream.

“You weren’t there," she muttered harshly. "I didn’t see a point in showing them to you.”

Hopper's demeanour turned sheepish almost immediately. Between Y/n's cold expression and Joyce's widened eyes, he found himself flustered and in desperate search for an exit.

“I’ll move them into your room.”

He didn't wait for her to say anything before putting the photos back into the box, then lifting it and taking it away, with it any chance of him letting her and Joyce put the photos up around the house.

Y/n's blood boiled watching him scurry, and then it dawned on her, surely and swiftly. The reason her stomach was in constant knots for the past few days had nothing to do with the Byers and everything to do with her dad, and the fact that just as he was not dead, so too were his old ways.

***

April 10th, 1986

Y/n lifted the glass of water in front of her and held it out, fully extending her arm. Nurse Jackson studied her closely, looking for any sign of discomfort, just as she did every time Y/n came in for her routine check up for her injuries.

“Any pain?” Nurse asked, to which Y/n promptly shook her head. “Good. I’ll get you some extra bandages just in case, but I think you should be in the clear now.”

The nurse wheeled her desk chair to the medical supply shelf behind her and came back with a handful of bandages for Y/n. She turned back to her and sighed. The young girl stared blankly at her shoes and nervously tugged at the hem of her t-shirt, not noticing nurse Jackson inquisitive eye.

“Is there anything else that’s been bothering you?”

The older woman's voice appeared to jolt the younger one back to reality. Her head shot up and without a moment of thought, she shook her head. Nurse Jackson narrowed her eyes.

“Y/n.”

The young woman sighed shakily, turning her attention to restless fingers. After a brief moment of silence, she cleared her throat and spoke quietly.

“I’ve actually been having a lot of trouble sleeping… for a while, but especially this past week," she began. “I wake up either in cold sweats or hyperventilating or both. Sometimes its like... I-I feel like I'm going crazy.”

Y/n half expected a look of concern from Nurse Jackson, but the older inched closer and gripped her hands, grounding her worries if only for a second.

“Honey, our town just had a record-breaking earthquake and your dad is back after being presumed dead for nearly a year…”

Y/n squeezed her eyes shut. She had heard that spiel a million times, to the point where it had lost most of its consolation. Nurse Jackson continued.

“Frankly, I’d be concerned if you were getting a good night’s rest.”

“I know," Y/n answered shortly, her patience growing thin. She shook her frustratedly. "I just… I’m sick of feeling like this. All I want is to move forward from all this. How do I do that?”

She wanted a quick fix. She wanted Nurse Jackson to have all the answers, write her a prescription for something and for that something to make her normal again. To make her feel like she had some semblance of control over her life despite the past year proving otherwise.

“There are a lot of ways of moving forward, and the best route is going to be different for everyone." Nurse Jackson tried to give a comforting answer, but knowing Y/n, she knew it would be met less than kindly. "- But the main thing is that you don’t do it alone.”

“I’m not alone," Y/n quipped defensively.

Nurse Jackson pursed her lips.

“The other main thing is that you let yourself process everything that’s happened."

Y/n let out a defeated huff. The past few weeks felt like a juggling act, with each day seemingly burdening her with one more thing to deal with. Now on top of it all, she had to find the time and the energy to reflect on everything that happened to her.

“I’m processing everything as best I can."

The older woman knew that, for the most part, she was telling the truth. But Nurse Jackson could also spot an avoidant patient from a mile away. This one, in particular, was a patient she had grown incredibly fond of.

“Don’t sell yourself short, Y/n.”

Her words caught the young girl by surprise. She didn't know whether to be apologetic, offended or defensive.

“All I’m saying is…" Nurse Jackson pursed her lips once more and drew in a deep breath as she tried to find the right words. "-As long as you keep burying your feelings and putting on a brave face, you’re never gonna move forward.”

Y/n hung her head, bashful that in the little time they knew each other, Nurse Jackson saw her so clearly, which was more than she could say for many of the people who knew her for much longer.

"You know, I think Ms Kelley is still offering free sessions." Nurse Jackson's voice was quiet and cautious. The last time she brought up the sessions to Y/n, she just about cursed her for suggesting it and stormed out of the room. "If you ever want to take her up on it, you just let me know and I'll sort that out for you."

The young girl didn't give her a definitive answer. She merely nodded her head and left quietly, discreetly wiping her teary eyes once her back was turned. However, Nurse Jackson was confident Y/n would take her up on her offer soon.

***

April 16th, 1986

Y/n's night was the same as it had been for what felt like an eternity. She woke up gasping for air, completely overcome by fear of impending danger despite being safe, sitting among Steve and the kids who were all passed out from movie night. She clung her fist to her chest and tried to steady and quiet her breathing.

Not wanting to wake anyone, she shifted Steve's comforter off her legs and left him sleeping on the ground by himself so she could sneak into the kitchen. She tried to shift her attention away from her frustrations, but as tears began to form in her eyes, it was hard to focus on the pot of coffee she was trying to make. Defeated, she dropped pot down abruptly on the counter and held her head in her hands.

"Still can’t sleep, huh?"

Steve's arms wrapped around her, his hands turning her around until she faced him. Y/n shook her head and dropped her hands, revealing her teary tired eyes to the only person she trusted enough to see them. Steve kissed her temple, just as he did the countless times he stayed awake with her.

He looked past her shoulder and spotted the coffee pot and grounds, and smiled playfully.

"Call me crazy, but I think having coffee in the middle of the night might not be helping."

Y/n rolled her eyes, nudging him gently.

"You don’t have any cocoa."

Steve chuckled, before pulling away and turning back to the pantry which Y/n had searched every inch of, for almost half an hour. He crouched down and moved a stack of canned soup to reveal a tin of cocoa. Y/n smirked weakly, her brow quipped.

“You’re hiding your cocoa now?”

“Just when the kids are here,” he explained sheepishly.

After the boys, under Dustin's leadership, got hot chocolate everywhere and gave themselves a sugar rush, Steve decided cocoa was not something he could leave unattended during movie nights.

Y/n sat at the kitchen table, mindlessly tapping her fingers against the surface as she waited for Steve to finish making their hot chocolates. Once he returned, he placed his hand atop hers to cease the tapping.

“What’s on your mind?”

She sighed. So much, that was the simple answer. There was so much on her mind, too much to unpack over one mug of hot chocolate.

“It’s weird seeing my dad again,” Y/n began. “- Having him around again.”

He nodded silently, sipping taking a sip from his mug.

“Everything is supposed to just be ok now because we all made it out alive, and I want things to be ok, but… it just doesn’t feel right. It doesnt feel fair.”

It should have been enough for her. She wanted it to be enough for her that everyone was ok and everyone was back home, but no amount of pretending made it so.

“It feels like I’m supposed to just forgive him? I’m supposed to just move on?… without even an apology?”

Steve’s brows rose and then knitted together.

“No one’s expecting you to do that, Y/n.”

She knew he was trying to comfort her, but she could name one person that was. She sighed and opted to squeeze Steve’s hand since he was keeping her from tapping.

“He asked me to go back home tomorrow night for dinner,” Y/n mumbled, unsure how she felt about the proposition.

She had been actively avoiding him and though it took him nearly week, it seemed Hopper was finally catching on. At least, that’s what Y/n told herself when he pulled her aside the last time she helped out at the shelter.

Steve squeezed her hand once, offering a small smile.

“That’s a good sign, right? Maybe he’s ready to talk.”

Y/n stared blankly at her mug.

“Maybe,” she huffed, though deep down she still was not sure.

***

April 17th, 1986

Dinner at home was not what Y/n expected. For one, it was only her, her dad and Joyce. While Jonathan was with Nancy, El and Will had plans with the rest of the kids. Walking in to a table set for only three left Y/n feeling uneasy, and yet hopeful that maybe her dad wanted time with her.

However, this hope dwindled as the night went on, because all they talked about over Joyce’s spaghetti was getting the cabin back in order. Y/n could hardly make sense of it, that was until her dad brought up meeting with an attorney before sliding a pen and a document across the table to her.

“What’s this?”

Startled, Y/n turned the document over and skimmed through it. While it was saturated with a lot of legal jargon she was unfamiliar with, she saw the words “title” and “transfer” then put two and two together. A red sticker flagged the place where she was to sign her name. She noticed that her dad had already signed his.

“Oh.”

Her face fell the very instant she pieced it together. A familiar knot began to form in her stomach. Hopper looked at her concernedly. When she met his gaze, she felt almost nothing.

“Bug, are you ok?”

Y/n wanted to laugh.

“You’re… so fucking priceless, dad.”

Hopper drew his brows together, taken aback at his daughter’s change in demeanour.

“What?”

“This is why you asked me to come home?”

She gestured towards the documents. There she was hoping that dinner at home meant finally having a proper conversation with her dad, when all it was was a ploy so he could get what he wanted. Hopper scrambled for a coherent response, words to keep things from escalating, but his mouth ran dry.

“When did you organise all this?” Y/n questioned, her cold glare going back and forth between the document and her dad. He sighed and ran his hand over his mouth.

“A week ago,” Hopper admitted sheepishly. As he suspected that escalated the tension in the room. “I sent the deed to the cabin to an attorney’s office.”

Y/n laughed coldly, remembering all too well the day he came close to throwing that very deed away. She felt a painful sense of clarity wash over her. This had little to do with the cabin and everything to do with controlling everything, Y/n felt certain of it.

“Of course,” she spat. “I should have fucking known.”

Hopper frowned, feeling an all too familiar sense of guilt settle in his stomach. He suspected that she might have some reservations about giving up ownership, but never expected this.

“I can understand if you’re upset.”

“Oh cut the bullshit, dad.”

He slammed his fist against the dinner table, prompting Joyce to come sprinting in from the kitchen.

“You don’t need to talk to me like that,” Hopper fired back.

“No, you know what? I will talk to you this. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“You sure about that?”

Y/n did not take notice of the fact that they were both standing, leaning over the table, glaring at each other with the exact same expression. Nor did she take notice of Joyce, who stood at the end of the table, at a loss for how to de-escalate the situation, and if de-escalation was even possible.

“Y/n, maybe-“

Before the woman could finish speaking, Y/n kissed her teeth and shook her head, her tempermant getting the better of her.

“Joyce, this is between me and my dad.”

“Don’t talk to her like that.”

His words came with no delay, no hesitation, Joyce could see the way that upset Y/n.

“It’s ok,” the older woman told Hopper, before turning to his daughter and shaking her head reassuring. “It’s ok.”

Joyce excused herself and went to hers and Hopper’s shared bedroom. It was not until she closed the door shut that the argument resumed.

“What’s gotten into you?” Hopper asked, dumbfounded.

“You!” Y/n shouted, frustrated that she had to spell it out. “It’s bad enough you’re being accommodating to everyone but me, but you’re forcing your way back into everything on your terms and I’m really fucking sick of it.”

“Oh you’re sick of it?”

“Yes, because this is you! This is who you are! This is who you’ve always been and I feel like an idiot for expecting anything to be different with you.”

How could it be, she realised. While she was hoping her dad had changed for the better, he was hoping she remained the same. It was no wonder he was so nonchalant about everything, from moving in the Byers to stripping her of ownership of the cabin.

“Maybe a couple years ago, I would have let it all slide without kicking up a fuss, but I’m not doing that anymore,” Y/n argued.

She needed him to understand that while it was clear he wanted things back to how they were, she was far from the girl she was a year ago, and for a good reason.

“I can’t go back to doing that, dad. And it’s really shitty that you’re expecting me to.”

Hopper sighed, relieved that they were talking as opposed to yelling, but gutted all the same by what he was being accused of. He shook his head.

“I’m not expecting you to do anything, bug.”

“Yeah, you are,” Y/n argued. “You want me to be ok with you changing everything without a heads up. First you rearrange everything, then you move a whole family in, now this… You want me put up with everything, like I always did, but I’m not going to do that.”

She could not do that to herself again. Not after reliving it with Vecna. Y/n desperately wanted better for herself, and she wanted him to understand that and to want the same.

“I had no idea owning the cabin meant this much-“

“Oh my god, this isn’t just about the cabin!” Y/n shouted, frustrated that he was taking everything at surface level when there was much more to it.

Hopper winced, baffled as to how everything he says always ends up being the wrong thing.

“It’s about you and me, dad. All of it is about you and me and the fact that… you just don’t care about anything that’s important to me.”

“That’s not true,” Hopper argued, certain that while there was a lot he did not know about Y/n, especially after a year apart, he still knew the things that mattered most. She, on the other hand, was not so sure.

“You don’t even know what’s important to me.”

Hopper scrunche his brows together, offended that she thought so little of him. He knew her, he told himself. He had to.

“Looking after the people you care about,” he began, “protecting El and the kids… that’s important to you.”

Y/n scoffed and shook her head, leaving her dad to wonder how that was the wrong thing to say.

“Not the obvious stuff, or the stuff that we both care about.”

Those were a given, Y/n deemed. Those required no real effort on his end, which only proved her point further. Frustrated and partly defeated, Hopper tossed his hands up in the air.

“Then what are you getting at, bug?”

She swallowed thickly, but the lump in her throat persisted. It mattered less to Y/n that her dad did not understand her, and moreso that he never seemed to try to.

“Dad you were gone for almost a year. And El was gone and Steve and I weren’t together,” Y/n wept. “This cabin and everything I kept inside here… it was all I had for the last 8 months. It was all I had when you were still shitfaced drunk and were barely home. And you just come back and take it all away like its nothing.”

Hopper huffed, his gaze dropping down to the floorboards, too ashamed to look her in the eye. When he finally did look up, she wiping her cheeks with the backs of her hands, sniffling quietly.

“Bug… I had no idea.”

“Of course you didn’t,” she scoffed.

He never asked her. He never really spoke to her. For all she knew, he never even thought of her or what she went through. How could he expect to know anything about how she was feeling?

Y/n caught a glimpse of herself in her reflection in the window, and a sense of fatigue began to linger.

“Look, I get that you’re ok and you’re fine and you’re past it all, but I’m not. I’m still stuck in the middle of it. I’m still hurting.”

“Is that what you think?” Hopper questioned, bewildered. “You think I’m ok? You think I’m past everything?”

“What else am I supposed to think when you’re too busy playing happy family with your girlfriend to consider my feelings in all of this?”

“Y/n, c’mon,” Hopper pleaded. “That’s not fair.”

She shook her head. Who was he to talk to her about unfair?

“If it wasn’t your addiction, it was El Now, if it’s not El, it’s Joyce and every other person in Hawkins. You’re always so preoccupied with everything and everyone else and I’m always just an afterthought. I’m not an idiot, dad, I can read between the lines.”

Hopper knew, now, what she was getting at, and he hated it. He resented the accusation he knew she was about to make.

“Bug-“

“I know when I’m not wanted.”

There it was. Hopper shook his head and went to reach for his daughter’s arm.

“Y/n, stop it.”

“I can’t!” Her voice snapped before she reached the end of her sentence, sending the worst kind of chills down Hopper’s spine. She shook her arm out of his grasp and moved away. “This has literally haunted me for years. It’s haunted me. You’ve haunted me.”

Long before Vecna got the chance to.

Hopper felt his lips tremble. His mouth opened as if to speak, but no words could form.

His blank expression only pained Y/n more.

“I mean, honestly… Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me? Any recollection at all?”

She looked at him pleadingly, hoping for something. For any kind of confirmation that he knew all the things he had done. If he knew, she could have hope of him having remorse, of him apologizing and him making amends. But, if he didn’t, Y/n couldn’t see how having any hope would be possible.

Hopper blinked, still at a loss for words. He remembered some arguments, but the rest were a blur, and he knew no memory he could muster up would be one that Y/n was referencing.

She knew, at this point, she was grasping at straws, but Y/n couldn’t help herself. She needed to know.

“Do you remember my 16th birthday?”

Hopper said and did nothing.

A sob escaped Y/n’s lips. Alone, again; that was how she felt. That was a night so painful and so deeply etched into her memory because of him, but he could not recall any part of it. Hopper stumbled forward, terrified of what Y/n’s sobs meant and where their conversation was headed.

“Bug, please, I don’t wanna fight with you. I don’t wanna go back to doing that,” he started, his voice shaky, alongside his hands. “But, believe me, I also don’t want to pretend like things are ok. I want it to actually be ok. I wanna fix things, I wanna make things right with you.”

He should have done that first. He should have said that first, before anything else. Hopper hated himself for taking so long to realise that. He placed his hands on the side of his daughter’s shoulder, only to be met with silence.

Y/n had a blank expression, one which Hopper still studied profusely, hoping for some indication that things would be ok. She felt defeated. She felt fatigued. This was an argument she felt like she had had with her dad a million times before, and they all ended the same. Maybe it was finally time they cut their losses.

“And what if you can’t?”

Hopper flinched.

“Don’t say that.”

She couldn’t possibly think that, Hopper told himself. After everything that kept them apart, he could not accept that an argument would be the thing to sever their relationship. Y/n sighed.

“If the last 8 months couldn’t fix things between us, what are the chances that anything will?” She had no more tears. That was the part that terrified Hopper the most. That, and the fact that she was refusing to look him in the eye. “And… after everything that’s happened, I’m just… I’m so tired, Dad.”

“I know,” Hopper whispered.

Y/n finally looked at him, but nothing in her expression changed.

“No. You don’t.”

She knew that now, better than she ever had before. He could never know what she went through. He could never understand her now. And, for as long as that remained true, they would never truly see eye-to-eye on anything.

Y/n pushed past her dad and approached the dinner table. Hopper turned around and watched, puzzled by what she was doing until he saw her pick up the pen and sign the document.

If that was what he wanted from her, it would be the last thing she would ever give him, Y/n decided. He would have the cabin, but only she would have all the memories made in it. Time would move on, just as he so deperately wants, but she would always remain stuck reliving the pain on her own.

After signing the document, Y/n silently grabbed her jacket and headed towards the front door. Hopper stepped forward.

“Y/n-“

“Don’t,” she warned, turning around and facing him before he could get any closer to her. “I really don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Y/n slammed the front door behind her as she left. The sound exhoed in Hopper’s head as he struggle to come to grips with everything. He saw so much of himself in her when they argued, but when she walked away from him, he saw so much of her mother. He had done it, he realised. He lost another one of his girls.

***

i do not give permission for any of my work to be copied, translated or reposted onto another site

@littlepadfootmoony @geeksareunique @agustdeeyaa @babygirlwilly @rqmanoff @midnightsgetawaycar @starkleila @shireentapestry @badasspizzalover

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things x reader #steve harrington imagine #stranger things imagine #steve harrington #stranger things #x hopper!reader #fanfiction #fanfic #imagine #one shot #fanfictions #inspired by folklore / evermore

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glassrunner · 1 month ago

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while isha was very much a cutesy character that helped soften some of the harsh moments of season 2, i ultimately feel that her existence was unnecessary.

the moment she appeared onscreen and immediately tagged along with jinx, i got the sense that she was incredibly hamfisted into the plot for the purpose of eventually making jinx Suffer More. the progression of their relationship (which i understand happened over a timeskip, but seriously that timeskip is doing too much heavy lifting -- a problem in its own) from "annoying kid following me around" to "new little sister" isn't elegantly alluded to, it's constantly made extremely obvious. and just to make sure we get the point, riot puts the final nail into that narrative coffin by having jinx literally say aloud that isha is a basically a younger version of powder and paints her hair blue. and then two episodes later, she's gone. just to give jinx yet another reason to go insane, which she doesn't really need.

isha has literally no dialogue. she serves to remind the audience of jinx's past, minus the trauma. it's easy and expected to project a young powder onto every scene she's in, which is just a waste of a new character. but even before the direct isha/powder comparison, jinx declares that she's discarded that persona, that "jinx" is no more. somehow, isha's mere presence even calms down jinx's psychosis to the point that she has a mild break for presumably the first time in a while only after isha is taken away, which just feels extremely lazy and gratuitous -- like the big bad Insanity is just a convenient lever to pull when the plot needs more tension and drama, rather than something that jinx has suffered from her whole life, and which silco's death amplified to the max.

all of the interesting plotlines i was looking forward to, like caitlyn's spiral into vengeance and fascism, jinx's rage and grief and psychosis causing chaos, vi and caitlyn either reconciling or being unable to in the end... it all just feels like it was brushed aside. jinx, after firing a rocket that killed half the piltover council, decides she just won't fight piltover anymore; caitlyn, who's grateful for ambessa's support and guidance in her crackdown on zaun, suddenly turns on her to aid vi; vi, forgetting her life-threatening feud with jinx, abruptly remembers they indeed are sisters who shared a life. so many conflicts conveniently resolved in seconds, when they should've taken at least a few minutes to untangle -- all because we needed so much time devoted to isha and jinx's relationship.

don't get me wrong, i LOVE the emotional moments that have been present so far. i think they do still hit, but their beauty is definitely muted because the pacing is a complete disaster. it was really difficult to enjoy isha having a bug battle with jinx when 1. i didn't even really recognize that jinx and 2. i was constantly thinking about what the other characters were doing. with how many plotlines need to be wrapped up before the finale (zaun's independence, the black rose vs. the medarda clan, mel's supposed magehood, etc.), i'm really not confident that we'll get a satisfying ending, and honestly i wouldn't have minded not having isha in the plot at all if it meant we could get a more coherent and less rushed overarching storyline.

#arcane isha #arcane #insights #arcane spoilers #sigh... and i really truly believed arcane would go the route of the legendary entirely faithful and high-quality game-to-tv adaptation #who knows? maybe i'm just an asshole for not being completely enamored with isha #but i really did not feel like her presence was organic #we don't need her to see what jinx as a normal adult could have been because we already KNOW she had that path closed off to her years ago #and she already had more than enough to propel her chaotic fury and madness after season 1 #so now that most of season 2 has NOT been about her waging war on piltover... i do feel rather disappointed #despite the eternal beauty of the animation and the worldbuilding and the music... season 2 cannot hold a candle to season 1 #i’m conflicted because she was honestly adorable and her moments were cute but i would take finished storylines over her any day

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fandomsandflyingstingrays · 5 months ago

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The season is kind of a blur for me at the moment, and I'm sure I'll have a lot more to talk about as I rewatch it more slowly and with less hysteria, but here are my current overall thoughts! Under the cut for spoilers

Beginning with the things I liked, because there were many of them:

The voice acting was phenomenal. Everything with Claudia? Soren's tirade at Viren? Every single speech of Janai's? Top tier. I've rarely been moved by a performance as much as I was this season

Additionally: the music was on another level, especially in the final episodes. It made already-breathtaking scenes absolutely haunting, and I'm praying they do another soundtrack release soon

I adored everything about the janaya wedding. Their outfits were so good, their expressions were so full of love, and their speeches were absolutely adorable. I also loved Kasi and Gren as officiants, Gren's little "what are they going to do? Come with an army?" joke made me cackle. (Also: hearing "and her wife, Queen Amaya" made me cheer so loudly my throat still hurts a day later)

I've been a passive sorvus shipper since season 4, but episode 2 ratcheted that up about ten levels. Every one of their interactions was so good, I love how they have the stoic/silly dynamic but also establish that Soren understands Corvus's sense of duty and Corvus has just as much of a ridiculous streak as Soren. They have to get together next season, please please please

Rayla and Callum! Back together at last!! And we have (hopefully) a full season of them being together to look forward to after this. It was really nice to see them fully on the same page at last, and the mix of ease and nervousness in their affection felt really cute and authentic

Speaking of things I've been waiting for forever: RUNAAN IS FINALLY FREE. I'm so happy that plotline was finally resolved, and I'm very intrigued about where he's going to go from here in regards to his relationships with Ethari, Rayla, and Callum. I really like that they addressed how he treated Rayla during their last encounter and established how deeply he regrets it

In general, I really liked how many loose ends we came back to this season. It was great to get the whole story of Viren, Lissa, Soren, and Kpp'Ar, especially for people who haven't read the comics or novelizations. I was thrilled to see Aanya again and loved her prowess in battle and her friendship with Ezran

I love that Claudia's hair actually looks like it got cut by a knife. No magically even cut for her. Somehow she really pulls it off, though, so good for her

Things I wasn't as much of a fan of:

I wish we had gotten to see Callum and Rayla actually talk the whole leaving-for-two-years thing out. Callum seems to think he was in the wrong for giving Rayla the cold shoulder when she first came back, but in my eyes he did have a right to be upset, and I wish they would acknowledge that. I was thrilled when they got back together, but I think it would have landed a little better for me if I felt like their "breakup" had been fully resolved

Has Sol Regem's mate ever been brought up before? It felt like a weird thing to pull up in the middle of the climax. His scene with Aaravos was written and presented very powerfully, but I didn't really feel the impact of it because I was busy going "where did this come from?"

And finally, this is really just a nitpick, but if you wear a blindfold for your entire life, you will not be able to suddenly see when you take it off because your brain doesn't know how to translate the shapes and light around you into cognitive images. I know I can suspend my disbelief, it just kind of bugged me

Overall, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and I think it was the most completely engrossed by a season so far. I'm begging and pleading for season 7 to be released sooner rather than later, because I need more and I need it now

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alexxncl · 9 months ago

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‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 28 SPOILERS‼️

normal and hard spoilers

masterlist | all lessons | season 2 | lesson 27 | lesson 29

beel not being hungry is odd, but given the course of the story, him not rampaging like asmo or mammon is even weirder

i personally think it's bc we already saw what happened when his gluttony takes over in season 1, and having that happen a second time wouldn't really serve any narrative purpose

i love how beel is the most outwardly affectionate and caring about his brothers despite not always being the most "expressive" if that makes sense ???

i feel like he and satan (for obvious reasons) take after lucifer the most because of how palpable their love is for their brothers, regardless of the different ways they choose/are able to express that love

sobs uncontrollably

imagine "baby" beel running around trying to guard "teenage" mammon from raphael bc he wanted to protect his brothers and lilith in the same way he saw lucifer do it

i feel like next to beel and belphie's relationship, beel and mammon have one of the healthiest sibling dynamics in the game, both in og and in nb, and part of that is due to their abundance of empathy

and satan being the first to suggest a way to help beel ??? WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE ??? the development i sobbed

he doesn't wanna see beel go through what he went through and is doing anything he can to prevent that from happening

i also think the "eat-til-you-drop" title is foreshadowing bc mammon, asmo, and satan all passed out when they had their rampages...maybe satan's trying to induce it so they can get to the root of the problem faster ???

finally. FINALLY we get mephisto to stop being an annoying dickhead and open up about his emotions, even if it's technically against his will and only for a moment. if he'd get out of his own head and rework the prejudices he has about lucifer and his brothers, he'd realize that he and lucifer are much more alike than he thinks, and they'd probably end up being really good friends. but because they're so similar, they're both too prideful to put aside their differences (especially mephisto) to explore the common ground they share

and i'm so so glad the devs didn't villainize mammon for this bc it's obvious that he had good intentions

i FIRMLY believe that next to beel, mammon is one of the most emotionally intelligent and empathetic characters in the entire game, but he's less outright and upfront with it bc of his own pride and bc of the way other people view him off of first glance

i feel like this hammers home my point of satan and beel taking after luci. he shows that he cares more that he says it, but denies it at every chance he gets bc he's too prideful to admit it. satan didn't show or say that he cared about his brothers outwardly until recently. beel shows and verbalizes that he cares

but it's evident to everyone around them that their bond is unbreakable

GIVE. ME. MORE. SOFT. MOMENTS. LIKE. THIS.

shit like this makes me miss seeing my little sister every day and bugging her (if you're reading this shut up)

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justahumblecabbagemerchant · 2 months ago

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911 season 8 spoilers below

Anyone else feeling a little…meh about season 8 so far? They hyped up the beenado, then wrote it out (in a scene that ended up on the editing room floor) in the first episode and went with a plane crash instead, which was both less original and gave less screen time to pretty much everyone except Athena, Bobby, and Buck. Athena landing the plane on the highway was admittedly very badass (Athena is a queen and did have some very iconic moments in that plane 👸🏾) but, like, imagine if it was happening at the same time as the bees 🐝 🐝🐝 peak 911 chaos. They set us up to have lots of conflict and potential for character development over Gerrard—Hen and Chimney’s past experiences and trauma with him bringing up old wounds; Eddie’s tendency to follow orders and respect the chain of command instilled in him by the military warring with his identity as a person of color and an ally working under a bigot; Tommy’s past as Gerrard’s lackey coming up, which he’s probably still ashamed of and has a lot of feelings about—and instead they basically mellowed Gerrard out, had everyone except Buck keep their head down, including Hen—and while I get that she needed to do so to get her foster license back, I do think her character would have been a lot more pissed/conflicted about it—and then they more or less had him be a good…ish…guy in the end so they could get the storyline over with? The racist, sexist, every-other-ist homophobe who ruthlessly targeted Chim and Hen and called Tommy a fairy just last season? It just feels like such wasted potential. Also, is it just me or have we barely seen Chim and Maddie this season? I feel like the balance of characters’ screen time was better in past seasons. Not to mention (but yes to mention bc it’s still bugging the crap out of me) Chimney saying that Gerrard is smarter than Buck, basically calling Buck stupid, and Bobby not disagreeing with him, when they’ve spent like seven seasons showing that Buck is more than a pretty face? The show seemed to play it off as a joke, but it just really rubbed me the wrong way. And the dance party scene, while very funny, just kind of came off as out of place/out of character…idk y’all, I never thought I’d say I missed Fox over ABC, but apparently I really do.

(Also we’ve only had one Tommy scene and I would be in a much better mood if there had been more just sayin)

#911 #911 abc #911 season 8 #911 spoilers #911 season 8 spoilers #sorry for the rant #just had to get this out

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saurongorthaur9 · 3 months ago

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ROP S2E7 Spoilers

So...the stupid kiss did indeed happen, and as promised yesterday, I need to vent and get it out of my system. It was every bit as stupid and unnecessary as I feared it would be; somehow, I was hoping if that was what happened, that somehow it wouldn't be as bad as it sounded? But yeah...it was. This is probably going to be a pretty long post, as I've been thinking a lot about what bothers me so much about it as a concept and I have a lot of Thoughts.

A disclaimer to begin with: yeah, part of me is disappointed that it wasn't the kiss I hoped it would be, but I knew from the start that a Sauron kiss would be very, very unlikely. If it had happened, it would have been less about a ship for me, and more about the validation for me of getting an onscreen Sauron kiss in a huge, professional production as I've written about in other posts. I would have loved a Sauron kiss, but that's not what is really bothering me on more than a surface level. So with that disclaimer aside...

I think I can break what bothers me down into two basic categories.

The first is more straightforward: it was SO unnecessary. Yes, there needed to be some way for Galadriel to get free, but there are so many ways it could have been set up without a weird, incredibly uncomfortable kiss that came out of absolute nowhere being necessary. He could have gently stroked her hair and slipped it behind her ear or into her hair itself (I used to have very long hair, and a pin like that would definitely get stuck if you tucked it in.) If they wanted to go the humorous, cliché route, they could have had him sneak it to her in a pie (that's a joke, I'm also glad they didn't do that, but my point is, they had options).

They could have set up the scene with a different tone and gone the Frodo-and-Sam-as-orcs route and had them fake a fight. I actually would have loved this. It could have been a culmination of the resentment and tension that's been building between the two of them all season to let off some steam at each other. It could have been one of those "we're fake fighting, but we're also real fighting at the same time" sort of scenes (which are delicious when pulled off right) where we could have gotten some real interesting character development and relationship development between the two of them before the orcs pulled them apart (but not before Elrond slipped the pin into her hand or tunic while pretending to push her or something).

The kiss however did nothing. Per my last two paragraphs, it being a kiss wasn't necessary for the plot. It didn't do anything to reveal anything about Elrond and Galadriel's relationship or develop it in any way. It didn't develop either Elrond or Galadriel's character in any way. It was purely and utterly for shock value.

And that's the first big thing: I really hate things used for shock value. It's a personal pet peeve of mine. And to make it clear, there's a different between using something for shock value and doing something shocking. Mirdania's death was pretty shocking, but it served the purposes of both showing how utterly ruthless Sauron is and solidified the elven soldiers' doubt in Celebrimbor's sanity. But using something for mere cheap shock value is so disappointing of the show. The writing had been SO good, everything had been so deliberate and intentional, that it made the sudden breach of that even more jarring and unpleasant.

And it makes me super worried for the future of the show. This show isn't Game of Thrones; it doesn't need shock value. But now they've set the precedent that adding pure shock value is okay for this show. It makes me afraid what else down the road will be thrown in the audience faces just to illicit an unpleasant reaction.

The second major thing that is bugging me about that scene is a little more insidious and subtle. I've seen people saying "it wasn't romantic", but the thing is, whether or not it was intended, romantic tension has now been introduced to Elrond and Galadriel's dynamic. Let me explain.

That scene was a pretty clear example of the Forced Proximity Trope. For anyone who doesn't know what that means, it's the trope of forcing two characters into a circumstance where they share space or physical intimacy that they wouldn't otherwise share. The most infamous version of it is the There Was Only One Bed trope. And the thing is, it's an incredibly romantic-coded trope. It's almost always used between two characters who have suppressed feelings for one another as a way to force them to confront said suppressed feelings. Even if it's used in a not explicitly romantic way, it still sends a subconscious message of romantic tension because that is what that trope is almost exclusively used for.

So yes, there is now romantic tension between Elrond and Galadriel, and I have a feeling they don't plan on doing anything about it.

At this point, I'd almost feel better if they went all the way and went ahead with the subconscious romantic tension. Like, putting Elrond and Galadriel in a romantic relationship wouldn't be my thing personally, but at least it would provide a sense that the writers had a purpose for the scene and for creating that tension. Dropping that and then not going anywhere else with it, and letting that tension fester for the rest of the series without acknowledging it or doing anything about it would be so disappointing and insulting to the audience.

But again, I'll be very surprised if they ever bring it up again.

And I'm sure the writers knew what they were doing. The only two options are that they were oblivious to the connotations of using that trope or that they knew full well, and used it anyway. And I suspect it's the latter. As good as the overall writing for this season has been, I just can't imagine the writers aren't aware of what they were doing in using that trope. I mean, they've deliberately used a number of romantic-coded tropes to build up the Galadriel/Sauron tension. They aren't oblivious, which means they used the Forced Proximity Trope deliberately and fully aware of it's implications.

It just really seriously damaged my faith in the writing of the show, just when I'd been building it up after some big disappointments from Season 1. Again, they've set a precedent, and I'm really worried this isn't the last time they'll pull something ridiculous like this.

Maybe somehow they'll turn it around. Maybe they'll have Galadriel and Elrond bring it up again and deal with the tension, maybe they do plan to have a romantic subplot between the two of them, or maybe they have something planned down the road that will put that moment in a light that shows it as something other than shock value. But I'm currently pretty pessimistic about that happening.

And it's extra disappointing, because the rest of that episode was absolutely amazing. That one bad moment stands out like a wine stain on a white dress because the rest of the episode was so good.

Anyway, that's my rant. I just had to vent and get my thoughts out of my head where they've been swirling. If anyone is feeling the same way and wants to vent with me, my inbox and messages are open.

#rop #rings of power #rop s2 #rings of power season 2 #rop spoilers #rings of power spoilers #galadriel #rop galadriel #elrond #rop elrond #vent post

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absintheandtextbooks · 6 months ago

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Ok so I haven’t posted like a proper potentially controversial deep dive here but I need to say some things about this season of Bridgerton. Before I do here are some qualifiers

1. I am not plus size but I am on the chubby end and wear typically a size large.

2. I come from a long line of people who are plus size

3. I think every comment about Nicola’s weight besides the ones she chose to make without pressure to make them are just simply not our business and pretty shitty

4. I want this to be a discussion this is not a hill I need to die on but I think peoples opinions can change and two things can be true.

Ok here we go buckle up

I was incredibly excited when I saw that the new season of Bridgerton was going to have Polin. It actually is what got me to start watching it in the first place, however I noticed a couple things with “the discourse” happening around the show.

Firstly, people were really excited to see a larger actress as a romantic lead which I agree is fantastic! The second is that these same people were very vocal about the height difference between the two of them. In fact how “tiny” she was in comparison was brought up a lot. I’m sure if this post has stumbled across your page a bunch of those did too.

Like some of the comment pieces on the above Forbes article mention, the media seems to have an allergy to “mixed weight” relationships when the woman is heavier-set or bigger in general than the man. What we talk about less is that height is also a factor. Society doesn’t just want women to be thin, it wasn’t them to be small.

I don’t mean to write about this in a “the tall girl movie from Netflix cringe way” but I think there is a nuanced discussion to be had about how we want women to take up less space and how femininity is tied to being small and delicate.

To me, a 5’ 6” ish queer person I’ve been taller than a lot of girls I’m friends with and a bunch of the men and enby or trans people I know. That, personally, has always made me feel bigger and ganglier and less feminine than the other femme presenting people I’m around. I get automatically stuck in a different category. Gaining weight, however, intensified this feeling. It feels as if I am perceived differently because of the combination of these two factors not just each on their own. Everything around us says it’s ok to be tall if you’re super thin and it’s ok (but less ok than being tall and thin) to be bigger if you’re short and dainty. It feels very conciliatory and condescending like a woman can’t take up space if she wants to be loved.

In Bridgerton, the conversations circling Nicola’s weight and height like vultures prey on this idea. It’s not acceptable just because she’s not sample size and that should be normal but because she’s little next to him even when she’s bigger. She can be a romantic lead because the man they show her to be in a relationship with is still bigger and stronger in different ways.

This also puts pressure on masc presenting people too. They need to be taller and often bigger to be accepted as “masculine or manly” which is its own problem I don’t feel as qualified to write about.

I’m sure this has its own complications for people who are non-binary or trans but I just needed to get this out there because it’s been BUGGING me.

Cheers,

Absinthe

#bridgerton #nicola coughlan #luke newton #polin #polin bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #thoughts #forbes magazine #tw weight #body image #this is just some thoughts #let’s chat about it

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the-banana-0verlord · 4 months ago

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Photoshoot

In which Andric's life is told. Inspired from a conversation with @thehollowwriter TW: grooming, depression, suicidal thoughts, alcohol consumption, ableism(internalized), ageism(also internalized). Andric is overall a shitty person with a shitty worldview for most of it. Let me know if you want a trigger warning added

CLICK!

Andric is six years old. This is his first photoshoot. He doesn't quite understand what's going. I want to go home, he thinks. His favorite tv show is running soon. It's a season finale, and he doesn't want to miss it.

"Mom?" he tugs his mother's sleeve. "Can we go home? I'm bored."

"Not right now, hun. The photographer still wants to take a few pictures."

Little Andric looks down with a pout. He didn't like the photographer. He looked at him weird, like a predator admiring the helpless prey in it's claws before gobbling up. Sometimes, when no one else was watching, Andric saw him lick his lips hungrily. It gave him chills.

"What a pretty boy you are. Smile for the camera, will you?"

CLICK!

The next week, Andric is the star of an ad playing everywhere. All his kindergarden friends look at him in awe. The boy's torso fills with pride. He hated the photographer, but if it got him attention like that, he didn't mind.

Andric basks in his celebrity. After all, doesn't he deserve it? He is a pretty boy.

CLICK!

Andric is eight years old. He is in the hospital, watching his newborn sister cry in his mother's arms. Both she and his father sob, while the nurses coo.

"What a beautiful baby!" they all say. Andric's face tries not to betray his disgust. He disagrees. His little sister's face is all wrinkled uo with no teeth. She looks like an old, rotten potato.

An old, rotten potato couldn't be related to a pretty boy like him.

CLICK!

Andric is telve years old. His life consists of school, photo studios and meetings with his manager. Audrey, his little sister, keeps bugging him for attention. He refuses every time, before going away from a photoshoot, leaving her frustrated and teary.

He tries on a few clothes for a contract with a teen's magazine company. The photographer watches him intensely. Andric knows it's because he's pretty.

Contrary to his classmates, he has no zits, no acne. His hair is woven into shiny raven locks. His skin is smooth and his lips fill in perfect shapes. He is thin and slender. No matter if he has to starve himself to attain that. He even manifested his magic not too long ago. He is perfect. So why does he recoil everytime his manager puts is hand on his shoulder?

CLICK!

Andric is sixteen years old. He received his Night Raven College letter a few months ago. He stands in all his glory in front of the dark mirror. The whispers behind him fill his ego to the brim.

"Pomefiore!" the mirror blurts out. Ha, of course the prettiest student would get sorted into the fairest dorm.

The boy goes to join his dormmates. Yet he does not stand with them, but by them, his shine overshadowing his dormmates.

CLICK!

Andric is nineteen years old. For his fourth year, he's pursuing medicine to research cosmetics. While he studies during the day, he parties hard all night. He plays both men and women, breaking hearts and drinking away just to feel something. But he never does. So he tries again. Party, sleep, hungover, class, party. Rinse and repeat.

Then, he graduates. Despite his nightly activities, his grades are stellar. Nothing less from the perfect Andric.

CLICK!

Andric is twenty-three. He watches his parents wrinkle up and die. It's sad, really. In their final moments, they didn't even have the priviledge of beauty. Andric swears to never age, because to grow old is to decay.

Andric stands at his parent's funeral. His sister, fifteen and an orphan, is sobbing loudly. Andric does not shed a tear. Crying gives you wrinkles.

Andric sends Audrey to live with their aunt. As a legal adult, he could've taken her in, but he didn't. His home was like him, perfect, and everything that lived in it had to be perfect as well. She wasn't. So she couldn't come.

CLICK!

Andric is tenty-five. He meets Cindy, the most beautiful woman alive. She takes his breath away. Yet, she hates herself. She wishes her voice was deeper, he shoulders broader. Andric finds it ridiculous. Why change something already perfect?

Few months later, Andric and Cindy recite their vows. It was only natural for the fairest of each gender to get together.

Neither of them smile in their wedding pictures. Smiling gives you wrinkles.

CLICK!

Andric is twenty-eight, and is now growing anxious. His contracts keep getting denied in favor of younger models. He sends every application he can, until one finally calls him back.

He drives to the studio giddily. He is still has worth. He's still pretty. He wasn't prepared for what was to come.

In the middle of a shoot, a defective projector falls on his leg. He's rushed to the hospital, and a sense of dread fills his stomach.

CLICK!

Andric is only tenty-nine, but his life is already over.

His broken leg healed, but the nerve damage was so bad he can'T walk without a cane to support him. He stays in bed all day, even when he gets hungry. Why eat? It won't repair his leg.

Cindy tries her best to cheer him up, to get him out of the house. Nothing works. Defeated, she demands a divorce.

Andric has nothing. No wife, no beauty, no money, no worth. No one will make a contract with a disabled man. No one will put a man using a cane on the cover of a magazine.

Andric is only twenty-nine, but he wishes he was dead.

CLICK!

Andric is thirty years old. He hasn't left his home in a year. A friend from his medicine internship comes to visit him. Compared to Andric, who is a dead man walking, this friend is successful. He is a famed doctor teaching at an even more famed university.

The man comes with a suggestion. Andric already knows basic medicine. He could pick up the practice again, and enter his friend's univeristy. He could get a doctorate. Andric gives it a thought, and finally accepts. It's not like he has anything else to do.

CLICK!

Andric is thirty-six years old. His studies are finished and he gets his certificate and permit to practice medicine. He's still not happy, but he did something of his life.

Night Raven College offers him a place as school nurse. He accepts and moves in.

CLICK!

Andric is forty-five years old. His life is stable. He takes his job seriously and cares for his students. The years softened him up, even if he's still searching for something to fill the void that empties his heart.

He watches the orientation ceremony, and notices a boy. He looks exactly like his sister, he realizes. That day, he learns that he has two nephews he never bothered to ask about.

Andric goes back to his office and grabs a drink. Maybe it's finally time to apologise to his sister and reconnect with his family.

CLICK!

Andric is forty-six years old. It's his tenth year at NRC. This time, a girl shows up at orientation. She's lost, and distressed. Andric pities her.

A month or two later, she shows up at the infirmary, injured. An overblot happened, apparently. He treats her, like he does with everyone else.

Then she comes back again. Over and over again, with even more concerning wounds. He could see the scars settling in on her skin.

Andric doesn't know when or why he became attached to her. Maybe she reminded him of the person he could've been when he was younger, strong in the face of hardships. Maybe she just made him think of a wet kitten in a cardboard box who needed a home. He'll probably never know.

Either way, he ends up with adoption papers in his hands.

CLICK!

Andric is forty-seven years old. He is not a perfect pretty boy anymore. Maybe he never was. He is wrinkled and cannot see without glasses. Strangely, it doesn't bother him that much.

His work as a model is long gone. He's a doctor now, and it fulfills him more than standing in front of a camera ever did. He donates to campaigns who promote anti-objectification and grooming of children in the entertainment industry. He doesn't want anyone to be like he was.

He apologized to his sister. She doesn't forgive him, but he understands he can't undo all the pain he caused in years in only a short span of time. He's just thankful she lets him see his nephews and lets his daughter be a part of their lives.

Speaking of his daughter, she isn't lost anymore either. She found a place in this world so strange to her. You almost don't notice the scars when she smiles.

He also got some news from Cindy, or rather Corey. During the years after the divorce, Corey found out he was happier as man. Andric and him go out for dinner sometimes. Extinguished flames seemingly can burn again.

Finally, Andric doesn't flinch at the flash of a camera anymore. He also eats healthily, skipping no meal. He walks with his cane openly and proudly.

Andric is forty-seven. And he feels alive at last.

☀☀☀

Thank you for reading! Reblogs and comments are appreciated, but no pressure!

taglist(ask to be added or removed): @thehollowwriter @xen-blank @casp1an-sea @iabsolutelylovedragons

#twisted wonderland #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #original character #andric gothel #oc fic #oc fanfiction #bananawrites

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crystalelemental · 6 months ago

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We have finished the Dungeon Meshi anime. I'll type out thoughts, but I feel like I can easily summarize as "It's really good, you should watch it." I was also asked to talk about favorite characters so like. Get ready for that one.

As a whole, Dungeon Meshi is excellent. My wife has an anecdote she likes to tell about it, where before we even watched it, I told her about the general premise and that people were talking about it and it sounded neat and I wanted to pick it up if she'd like to watch. And as happens sometimes, I get the response of "I'll probably look at my phone and just watch it in the background," which is usually "I'm not too interested but put on what you want to put on." And after the first episode she was completely invested. The show is really charming really fast.

Thing is, for as fun adventure as it starts, it does a lot seriously that lands spectacularly well. The first instance of "oh wow, this show is for real" is the well-documented living armor bit. The biology that goes into these monsters is amazing. My personal favorite is still the treasure bugs and mimics interaction, which is just incredible to me, but every time they talk about monster biology and their function it's a treat.

Exploration stuff is also really cool. There's another great post that went around talking about how this party really is more of an old-school dungeon crawler party, where skills for survival like Chilchuck's are essentially the most valuable, rather than combat ability. It does really have that feel, and it's great. I also just love how some of the magic works. Things like mana sickness are cool, but resurrection is my personal favorite. They make a big deal about the black magic kind being forbidden, but watching it in action, it functions just like the stuff that's on the level; blood pools and congeals back in the body, the black magic just involved reconstructing flesh. Marcille's point about black magic not being inherently bad is fair; it doesn't seem all that different. But perceptions are really different regarding it.

They haven't delved too far into it yet, but there are tensions between the fantasy races, and plenty of biases going around. Some are a bit more obvious, like Marcille really not trusting the orcs, while others are more like Shuro's one party member who just refers to the dwarves as just "dwarf," even as she's praising Senshi's cooking. Kabru's got his own hangups regarding how the elves handle things with the dungeons, and openly admits to the imbalance in power between races and how that negatively impacts everyone. I imagine this starts to be more prominent in the second half now that all the establishing stuff is done.

As for cast...they're really strong. Laios' group is all great, I loved them all. Marcille is my favorite, personally, because of course she is. From silly magic elf girl, to oh she's actually super smart, to oh she's super smart in ancient criminal magic fuck yeah girl. Marcille's a delight. Chilchuck was the easy least favorite of the group starting out, but he's really grown on me. Izutsumi is peak cat. Laios is really interesting as a protagonist, I like him a lot. I think the conflicts he gets into are...very real, in a way. Like, he has amazing strengths that make him great at what he's doing, but the flaws in his character inform what struggles they encounter in a really believable way. I like him a lot. Senshi is cool. Falin needs more time, and you have no idea how bummed I am that the season ended with a little snapshot that Chimera Falin and Thistle are having hijinks off-screen, I need that spinoff.

The other groups are less developed, but I'm sure Aera will be happy to hear this: god damn do I love Kabru. This dude rules. I saw people talk about him on Tumblr so I recognized him the instant he showed up, but his first "proper" introduction is stupendous, showing his general people-reading and ability to gather information, and his adherence to a sense of justice that's just as much about meting out punishment as anything else. Him killing those dudes was great, loved that. And the barely concealed excitement over black magic is hilarious. Then he gets to show off that he's basically an assassin class, knowing where to strike for instant kills, has a whole chat with Shuro about recognizing the racial discrepancy in the world at large, and tries to play an entire room full of elves. I dunno, like the guy a lot. He's shrewd, and he's got moxie. I do admit that, while I get the fandom is really attached to Laios and Kabru as a ship, I...have no strong feelings about it. I do, oddly, like him and Rin. Their dynamic in the show was fairly cute, and admittedly some supplemental material I saw posted really got me invested in her. The rest of his party...I have no particular feelings about. It's just him and Rin to me for now.

Shuro's party is even less interesting. I do like Shuro, I think he's a really neat character. But his group hasn't done anything all that interesting to me yet. They kinda showed up to get bodied by Chimera Falin and drive tension as the group that first knows about black magic.

Similar deal with Namari's group? If anything I think the old gnome dude is in the running for general least favorite character. I don't hate the guy, but he's done nothing to endear himself. I have no strong perspectives yet.

For characters that need more time in the oven, there is the question of the Canaries. I've seen a tidbit about them, but my general assumption of them is the whole "Canary in the coalmine," they're the frontliners for dungeons that are sent in and risk death to assess the threat level. Which is neat, would like to know what that deal is. But #1 most invested in learning more about is Thistle. Love that design, love the general vibe he puts out, but also the reveal that he was hired as the court jester who happened to also become the most powerful mage of the kingdom is really, really good. That's both hilarious and awesome. I don't even know this guy and I think he's the shit.

I am wildly invested in season 2, and if it weren't for me working for a school and going through summer months unpaid, I'd probably be buying the entire manga like right now. As it stands I'll have to wait a bit for that, but it's probably happening. I've seen plenty of commentary about things the anime couldn't fit in that are hilarious or interesting, and it feels like one I'd like to read as well, even if I plan to fully go through the anime. Huge fan, glad we got an immediate announcement of season 2, really looking forward to more.

#dungeon meshi

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queen-of-deans-booty · 5 months ago

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The Hunter Games: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence, extra angst

Summary: Sam and Dean need Metatron thinking he has all the answers to the Mark of Cain. He's a giant bug that you'd love nothing more than to squish.

Season Ten Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. I love seeing any and all comments <3

Damn it. Why is this happening again? Cas says getting Y/N's memories is going to be more frequent but it still doesn't hurt any less to see things from her point of view. Where am I? I'm in Dean's arms. I'm in the backseat of the Impala while Sam and my father are in the front seat. Pain spreads throughout my body and I notice gashing wounds on my chest and body.

Oh, yeah. I remember this. We had just found the demon who killed Mom. He possessed my dad. We barely escaped.

"Look, just hold on, alright. The hospital's only ten minutes away," Sam says.

My body is so tired. I can feel myself falling in and out of consciousness. I never knew how much pain she was actually in.

"Sweetheart, you have to stay awake," Dean says. I nod but my eyes betray me by closing. "Drive faster, Sammy."

"I'm surprised at you, Sammy. Why didn't you kill it? I thought we saw eye-to-eye on this. Killing this demon comes first, before me and before everything," John says and looks at Sam.

"No, sir. Not before everything. Look, we've still got the Colt. We still have one bullet left. We just have to start over, alright? I mean, we already found the demon."

Sam is driving as fast as he can without causing more pain to me or my dad. I barely open my eyes to look at Dean who has tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I love you so much, Dean Winchester."

"No, don't say that. You're not allowed to say that," Dean cries.

In the next moment, the car is struck and the car slips over multiple times before skidding to a halt.

Dean groans and hits the metal table with his fist.

"Y/N, what are you trying to tell me?" he sighs. He looks at the ingredients and decides he's no longer hungry. As he puts the food back into the fridge, his phone rings. "Yeah?"

"Squirrel! I've got it," Crowley says.

"That's good to hear."

"Of course, I'm gonna hang onto it until you work out how to get that thing off your arm."

Dean hangs up on the demon and leaves the kitchen fully intending to figure out a solution. You look up and see Dean sneaking into the dungeon, and you get up to follow him. Sam and Cas don't question where you're going since they know you're not going to answer them.

"I'm guessing you're not here to reminisce," Metatron says when he sees Dean.

"We have the Blade. What's next?"

"You don't have it here? Not on your person, I'm assuming. God forbid you give it to Y/N for safekeeping."

"Not saying. Back to you. What is next?"

"This is where it gets kind of interesting, but first, it's very lonely in here. I have little to do but think, and it occurred to me that you and Y/N really need this Mark taken off you. In order to do that, you really need me. So, here's the deal. That first little tip I gave you? A freebie just because you're you. Every step from here on out will cost you. FYI, there's a bunch."

You want nothing more than to kill this motherfucker. Dean walks to the door that leads into the dungeon and spots you listening in. He lets his Mark do the talking for him. Instead of keeping you out of this, he opens the door wider for you to enter through.

"Care to join me?"

"Yes," you smirk and walk inside.

Dean closes the door and the two of you approach Metatron like he's your prey and you're hungry for blood. You grab an angel blade and circle around Metatron who tries to keep you in his sights.

"Whatcha doing there, Slugger?" the angel asks fearfully.

"I'm settling a score that's taken way too long to settle. Oh, and while I do that, I'm gonna get some information."

You reach behind him and slide the angel blade across his face which makes him hiss in pain.

"You thought I was bad? Try both of us," you whisper into his ear.

"Here's how this is going to go. You're going to tell us everything. All of it, and it ain't gonna cost me a damn dime. Slugger."

"I'd do what he says," you say and walk so you're facing the angel. "You'd hate for me to lose my temper. I might do something stupid and stick this where it doesn't belong."

"What's the next step?" Dean asks.

"I repeat my offer. Each step costs you."

"You're confused," Dean chuckles. "See, each step you don't give me is gonna cost you. It's been a long time coming. I mean, where do I begin? Stealing Cas's grace. Casting out the angels. Making Gadreel kill Kevin using my brother's hands. Starting an angel war." You twirl the angel blade in your hand with a smirk. "She has no soul, and, oh yeah, you killed me!"

"Y/N was not my fault!"

Dean decides to drop it. He doesn't need you and Metatron to know that he's harboring your soul. You, on the other hand, are tired of his voice. You walk over to the angel and stab the blade into his thigh, and Metatron lets out a scream of pain.

"I got this," Dean says and pulls you away from him.

"Do you really want to keep feeding the Mark with power? The Mark and no soul? That's gotta hurt." You move to stab him again but Dean holds you back from hurting him. "My morality is being judged by Dean Winchester? How many people have suffered and died because they believed in you two? How many times have you lied to Sam, including, oh by the way, when he was possessed by an angel? You say, 'Oh well, it's all for the greater good.' but lately, that greater good thing just went away, didn't it? Now, people die just because you want them to."

Dean turns and punches Metatron in the face as hard as he can.

"Good, Dean. Go darker," the angel laughs. Dean punches him again. "Go deeper!" Punch! Punch! Punch! Punch! "Surely you've noticed, every time you respond when the Mark gets you all twitchy, you fall deeper under its spell. Do you think roughing up a few humans and demons makes it worse? Try messing with the Scribe of God, bucko!"

"Go get Sam, Y/N."

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm gonna kill him," he says darkly, "and I don't think I'll be able to stop."

"How is that my problem?"

"Go!" Dean yells at you.

You roll your eyes but leave the dungeon in search of Sam and Cas. You'd be lying if you said you weren't taking your time in finding them. You find them in the library.

"If you don't do anything about it right now, Dean's gonna kill Metatron."

They both look at each other before booking it out of the library. Dean has closed and locked the door behind you so it won't be easy getting inside. You stop in the middle of the hallway with the two men and cry out in pain. Your Mark is burning on your shoulder which can only mean Dean's Mark is burning on his arm.

"Kevin's death? All on you," Metatron spits out blood. "You put him in harm's way and kept him there. Gadreel possessing Sam? Who was it that tricked Sam into letting him in? Oh, and then my personal favorite: Dean Winchester. Whose entire existence is defined by a war on the dark and monstrous--bromancing his way around the country with the King of Hell! Not to mention your little witch! Who is it that her soul is tied to? God, you have no idea how poisonous you are!"

Dean punches Metatron twice.

"Let's try this again. What is the next step?"

"What is it you humans say so inelegantly? Oh, yes--go fuck yourself."

Dean grabs an angel blade and points it at his neck.

"Now it's time to get serious. What is the next step in removing this Mark from my arm?" When he doesn't answer, he slices the angel's cheek which exposes some of his grace. "What is the next step?!"

Again, the angel doesn't answer so Dean rips open Metatron's shirt and slices his skin from his chest to his stomach. Metatron tips his head back and screams out in pain; a scream which you can hear from the hallway. Sam and Cas run the rest of the way and discover the door is locked. Cas blasts the door to bits and Sam rushes in to stop Dean from killing the angel.

"Behold, the river shall end at the source," Metatron says when he notices Dean's bright red Mark.

You yank your shirt down to see your Mark bright red as well.

"No, Dean! Hey, stop, stop!" Sam says and pulls his brother away. Cas runs to check on Metatron. "You were killing him."

"I have to take him back," Cas says.

"Cas, this won't happen again."

"I gave my word. I have fences to mend in Heaven, and as it is, I have a lot to explain."

Cas helps Metatron out of his binds and starts to take him away. You walk into the dungeon and the angel's wide eyes land on you.

"If you ever ask me for help again, I will choose death. You realize it's going to get worse, Dean. You're both gonna get worse!"

While Cas takes him back to Heaven, Sam takes you and his brother to the library for a heart-to-heart talk. Dean clearly isn't doing too well but you're loving the power that comes with the Mark. The burning sensation was new and it did hurt but then you liked the pain and it became bearable.

"He said the river ends at the source."

"What does that mean?" Sam asks.

"Maybe nothing. It was the last thing he said before you guys busted in."

"We had to, okay?"

"Yeah, I know," Dean sighs. "I was gonna kill him, and I couldn't stop myself."

"You stopped me," you say.

"I wanted to be the one to do it."

"We'll figure this out, okay? You know what Cas said about needing a powerful force? I've been thinking and Cain still has his Mark, right?" Dean nods. "He's lived with it. For years, he's lived with it. Maybe the Mark is strong but I think there is a part of you that wants to give into it. You have to fight that. Maybe that powerful force has to be you."

"Wow, that's deep," you say sarcastically.

"I'm not done with you yet," Sam glares at you.

"You forget the part where Cain is a demon. That powerful force you're hoping Dean has is the fact that he is a demon and has been one for centuries. The Mark is going to consume him." You look at Dean. "It's only a matter of when."

Dean can't argue with you on this one. He knows you're right. He hopes to get it off before that happens. His phone rings and he answers it without looking to see who it is.

"Yeah?"

"It's Claire. I've thought it over. Maybe it's only fair to hear your side of it. I mean, Castiel seemed to trust you, a lot."

"Yeah, okay, where do you wanna meet?" When she tells him, he hangs up the phone. "You're coming with me."

"Why? I couldn't care less about Claire."

"You're the one who killed Randy. You get to explain to her why you killed him."

"I knew it would fuck with her. That's why I did it. I don't care that he used her or took advantage of her. I wanted him gone because it would hurt her, and that's exactly what I'm going to tell her," you smirk and walk past him.

Dean restrains from arguing with you. He looks at Sam before leaving the Bunker with you. He drives to the meeting spot that Claire gave him which is next to a lake. You and Dean leave the Impala and take a seat on the bench next to the lake.

"If you don't want me telling her the truth, why bring me along?"

"I don't know, Y/N, maybe it's because I still have hope that a part of you is still in there."

"Then you're an even bigger idiot than I thought you were."

You sit there for two more minutes until you hear Claire scream from the right of you. There is a camper in which she has been staying in. You turn to see two people behind you with weapons--one of them has a bat and the other has an axe. This was a setup. She was going to kill you for what you did to Randy.

The girl swings her bat at Dean but he ducks while the man slams the axe down on the bench right where you were sitting. The woman runs at Dean while the man runs at you, and Dean quickly overpowers her with her own bat. He turns her and begins choking her out with the bat while you grab the handle of the axe when the man swings it at you. You kick his legs and yank the axe away from him just as he crumbles to the ground. Dean flings the woman off him, and she lands next to her friend.

You throw the axe to the ground away from them and take out your gun.

"No!" Claire yells. You point it at the man who attacked you and Claire panics even more. "No, no! Please!"

"Drop the gun, Y/N."

"No, she planned to take us out. It's only fair we take them out."

You cock your gun and are about to shoot when your entire body tenses. Electricity stems from the device in your neck and you fall to the ground stiffly. The man and the woman get up and flee from the area while Claire goes back into the camper. She pulls the curtain back and stares at Dean fearfully.

He ignores her and goes to you who is still receiving the shocking treatment.

"Taking you out of the dungeon was a bad idea. Guess you're going back in."

Fuck.