#and it makes it so difficult to do anything about anything that's a problem
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Reminds me of when there was a whole debate over whether D&D was a "story game" -- the debate was *actually* about "what is a Story Game?", was it (expansive) a game that can be used to tell a story, or (limited) a game that has specificly story-based rules.
I prefer the more limited definitions because you can tell a story with any game -- including risk, monopoly and badminton -- to the point where it would be immensely difficult to make a game that can't be used to tell a story, just like it would be pretty difficult to make an rpg that *cannot* be used to tell queer narratives with queer characters, if the players are so inclined.
The "problem" with this for the D&D crowd is that D&D5E doesn't particularly want to be anything other than profitable, which means it can't be a Thing in the way that, say, Dungeon Bitches is. It can't focus, it can't be a Queer game because then the bigots won't buy it, it can't be a Straight game because a lot of players are queer, it can't be a tactical combat game because then the people who don't like tactical combat won't buy it, it can't be a story game because then they can't sell minis. So it isn't anything, and so people have to describe it in terms of what it doesn't *stop* you from doing, and in that specific sense it is a queer game but also so is ice hockey.
Which is to say, you can definitely*run* a Queer Campaign with D&D, but that doesn't make it a queer *game*.
D&D is the Taylor Swift of TTRPGs by which I mean it's something with broad mainstream appeal and name recognition and also there are people out there who pretend it's gay
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WAYS IM PREPARING FOR THE BIG 2025 PT 1 ⟢
♡˚₊· ͟͟͞͞ Hey angels! I basically just wanted to come on here today and share some ways I’m preparing for the new year. Feel free to take inspiration from this post. :) Stay cute
BEFORE ANYTHING…
Before starting ANYTHING off new this year, I really just wanted to take time and reflect on what I did well and what I need to work on next year and also what I’ve LEARNED this year to make a game plan.
For example, some things I’ve noticed this year that I need to work on is better time management, balance between work and life, taking more time for my mental health, and pushing myself more towards my goals.
I recently also read a post about resetting before 2025, which I think is helpful. I’ll link it right here.
ENVISIONING THE YEAR
for me, setting an expectation is SO important. It just defines everything I want to have and accomplish, it lets me believe that my desires can be attained and really just cultivates that kind of positive mindset I need going into the new years.
Here are ways I’m currently making space for that vision for the big 2025.
♡ vision boards
(could be about beauty, manifesting, money, studying, or a combination! whatever you’d like, but I’d recommend not sharing to keep that energy private to you. it’s important to move in silence.)
♡ inner work
(maybe some difficult events have happened this year or recently. it’s important to go into 2025 releasing everything negative and leaving all grudges behind. 2025 is a NEW year. let’s make sure our mental is great now so that we can charge into 2025 ready to go.)
♡ self care time
♡ social media detox
♡ planning new smart goals
♡ stricter mental diet
START NOW
guys, you’re gonna have to trust me when I say START NOW. of course your resolution isn’t officially in effect til the start of January, but PLS. start now while your motivation is here or even if you aren’t motivated. START working out, start taking those little steps to move like your dream self, DO IT.
The problem is that usually a “new years resolution” person will give up after not even a week of being in it, so START now. Give yourself the space to make mistakes and work out those kinks NOW so you can really go into the new year feeling refreshed and ready to conquer every single one of your goals.
HARSH MOTIVATION
“The person with the same goal as you is working 10x as harder as you right now.”
I saw this quote on my feed and it really resonated with me, because I want to pursue a career in nursing. It made me think of all the people who are studying hard right now and doing pre-med programs right now to be two steps ahead and really excel in their performance as a nurse. And what am I doing? Slacking.
No more slacking in 2025! I have to realize this and tell you this, that nobody is holding your hand anymore! It’s just you versus the world. What will you do to succeed? You need to act NOW while you’re realizing this, or be left behind. That’s just the way things work.
Take that time to yourself. Take that time to reflect, think, and rebuild your self concept for the beginning of the new years. This is YOUR moment. This is YOUR year. YOU’RE her, so start acting like it.
ahihihihi and bd changes her layout again? guys I’m rlly struggling with this theme shit 😪 I feel like I can’t really find a format I can stick to. I think I’m in my divine feminine era..kinda loving it but doesn’t match the cute pink teenage vibe I have for the rest of my blog. anyways have a wonderful holidays n 2025 angels hoped this helped msg me byee ♡
#bunny’s dollette ♡#coquette#cute#dollygirl#girlblogging#hyper feminine#law of assumption#manifesting#pink pilates princess#sawako kuronuma#affirm and manifest 🫧 🎀✨ ִִֶָ ٠˟#affirm and persist#master manifestor#divine feminine#that girl#becoming the best version of yourself#becoming that girl#dream girl journey#new years resolution#new years goals#self improvement#self concept#wonyoungism#it girl energy#self growth#glow up#get motivated#goals#dream life#positive energy
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please give us vivienne headcanons the people want them
then the people will be given them! as a holiday present or something, idk, this has been in the drafts for a minute. i've got a whole bunch but have some off the top of my head
- vivienne struggles sleeping anywhere in a location she isn't used to. so the early days of both haven and skyhold, sleeping out on the road, settling into an inn for the night– it's all difficult for her. she's a mage, and notably one who does not like exploring the fade when she dreams. each new place she sleeps takes her to a new part of the fade, and it sometimes leads to her skipping sleep when she can risk it. she will also actively avoid solas if they happen to be in the same part of the fade while sleeping. he's tried tempting her to explore more of the fade and he is NOT defeating the pride demon allegations.
- her favorite place to sleep is in bastien's estate! she's very wary of any spirits she encounters there still, but she enjoys spending time in the fade's version of the estate's garden. she hated sleeping in both the monnstimard and ostwick circles, though.
- vivienne is an alcoholic. in the same way your aunt says that it's fine that she drinks so much and its not a big deal because it is Just Wine, vivienne usually has a glass in her hand more often than not. she very rarely drinks to the point of being inebriated, but she gets stressed when she hasn't had a drink and relies on it maybe a bit more than she should. she doesn't drink red wines, though. she won't even touch them.
- adding onto the previous one, dorian and vivienne are drinking buddies! usually it's just vivienne having a glass or two while dorian gets trashed, but there has been a few times where it has been the reverse. they don't talk about it afterwards.
- vivienne does have a favorite type of magic and it is her healing magic, not her ice or even her sword. being a healer means people rely on her, which she likes, and it also means she doesn't need to rely as heavily on other people when she can do it herself. the act of healing is also pretty therapeutic to her in a weird, morbid sort of way. feeling bones snap back into place, sinew threading itself back together, and burns fade to scars under her fingers makes her feel powerful in a way her combat magic just. doesn't.
- this leans more to canon, but vivienne is also an alchemist! her heath potions are potent as hell, but holy shit is there a kick to them. in general vivienne has several practical skills that a lot of other circle mages don't. she can make potions, she can stitch wounds, she can sew clothes, do her own laundry, cook– anything and everything to be as reliant on herself as possible.
- sometimes during down-time moments with sera she'll tap her nails against whatever is near her to get that scrape-y, crawly sound. skitter skitter.
- and one of my favorite ones, vivienne has worked with/hired the bull's chargers in the past before inquisition! she occasionally hired them when she needed some beast to be killed for an ingredient, a pelt/hide, or if it was generally causing problems and it would look good for her to stop those problems. she pays them well and, on one occasion, joined them to take down a particularly bothersome drake. bull missed that fight though 😔
if anyone would like more or to share their own, feel free to send in an ask <3!!
#ask#anon#dragon age#dai#dragon age inquisition#vivienne#vivienne de fer#do i tag the others?#eh#solas#dorian pavus#sera#thank you for the ask nonnie!!!#i miss talking about vivienne... love her so much
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I've seen people said Adrien doesn't have motivation to be a hero but Marinette does, which is weird because I feel like it's Marinette who doesn't have a motivation to be hero beyond "people listen to Ladybug". Her lack of motivation is what confused me because as a protagonist, she's inevitably become a role model for the young audience and I find nothing about her is likeable, even more so after she become a guardian. It's as if being a guardian inflate her ego and she forgot that everyone else is a human with feelings, not just a pawn or a doll for her to play and ordered around.
Recently I found out a website that contain the concept plot and it confused me more because I feel like concept Marinette is a more grounded character than she is in the show.
Marinette's goal isn't just to be Adrien/Felix's girlfriend but she also need to collect the kwamis that she accidentally releases and she become a guardian not because of luck or favoritism like how it is in the show, it's because her grandfather is the guardian. Adrien/Felix doesn't even become Chat Noir because he's chosen by the guardian, it's Plagg who chose him. It's actually much better than the whole "I choose you but also I'm not going to do anything with you" that Fu pulls in the show.
i don't understand why the higher up/the sponsor reject this plot because I think this much better than whatever we have now. If they have a problem with Chat Noir being an anti-hero, then why do they accept Marinette being written like one while also hailing her as a hero?
---
“Adrien isn't motivated to be a hero” he actually likes being a hero, unlike our role model protagonist, who’d rather do anything than be Ladybug even when she's being lauded for her heroic deeds. Is this based on Adrien trying to quit when Fu or Marinette is making his job needlessly more difficult to do? Because, like, that's the only thing that he seems to dislike about being a hero, which, like, makes Marinette an even worse hero. She’s so bad at her job, she makes otherwise eager heroes lose their motivation.
I’m gonna be very honest here; Marinette becoming Ladybug because she accidentally released a bunch of magical creatures and Adrien/Félix being more of an anti-hero rival than a full-on ally would have been copied straight from Cardcaptor Sakura’s starting setup. Like, I’m not surprised that even the rejected ideas for Miraculous are copied from other properties, but it just proves that regardless of any other variables, Astruc’s creation was always going to be highly derivative. Regardless, I do feel that Fu being her grandfather instead of a stranger would have gone a long way in justifying Marinette’s special treatment both in-universe and to the audience, but that’s probably why it was rejected.
Like, we can mock the fact that Marinette isn’t actually within spitting distance of being a “normal girl with a normal life” all we like, but that doesn’t change the fact that, from a purely on-paper angle, she is pretty average. She’s a middle-schooler with pretty average hobbies who deals with normal teen problems like bullies and a crush on a boy she doesn’t know how to deal with. There’s a reason it’s the opening line for the show’s opening. It's marketable. A special chosen one from the start wouldn’t have been as marketable in the same way. Especially when we take into account how hypersensitive Astruc is to Marinette being less liked than he’d want. He’d do whatever he can think of to make sure Marinette isn’t immediately judged a “Mary Sue”.
The thing with executives is that they don't watch the shows they fund. They read the pitch, synopses, and maybe the scripts if they can find the time. And even then, they might not want to put in the money to get a script revised even if they paid enough attention to tell it was dogshit. They wouldn't be interested as long as the different Miraculous bedsheets and shampoos keep selling and as long as the show isn’t too gay to sell to other countries. Like, the show bible that Gloob leaked? The one full of inaccuracies because it was outdated? That was what the executives were most likely given when the retool went into development. In addition, corporate oversight on the show has actually decreased the longer it’s gone on, because the show’s proven itself to be a success. I’m pretty sure the higher-ups were not asked: “hey, is it okay if we make Marinette an entitled jerk who gets validated at every turn while she starts treating people worse and worse?” I’m pretty sure no one okayed Marinette’s “villain arc”, it was just allowed to pass because it didn’t make the show less marketable.
That’s the thing with any property that becomes “too big to fail”. Less oversight means less quality control. It’s like one anonymous Gamefreak employee said about making Pokémon games: “It’ll sell anyway, so it doesn’t matter if it’s bad.”
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2nd Ultimate Incest Tournament - Round 1
Propaganda under the cut:
Lestat/Gabrielle:
what if you were a 21 yo blonde guy turned into a vampire against your will and you turned your terminally ill emotionally unavailable 50 yo mother in a vampire also and she immediately started to dress as a beautiful man (she is eerily similar to you…) and you thought that you weren't alone finally and she would understand you and finally accept you and you made out nasty style but then she realized that she still doesn't really give a fuck about you. and ran away into the forest. to sleep in the dirt.
conversely what if you were a noblewoman that hates all of her children and feels completely and absolutely alone all of the time and trapped in a life you do not want but then your least hated son (who looks exactly like you and who you feel insanely jealous of because he is able to live the life you cannot) turns you into a vampire and for an evening you feel happiness and you experience true freedom until you realize that this new more powerful existence which frees you from the social norms of your time ALSO makes you unable to change anything about yourself so you can't even CUT YOUR HAIR LIKE THE MAN YOU ARE. and ALSO your annoying fucking crybaby son is there still and you hate him a little because despite being what you WISH you were he does not accept that freedom? and insists on living among humans? so you run away to live in the forest and sleep in the dirt
Flamboyant bi son and emotionally distant transmasc mom duo who bond to survive abusive circumstances and start making out after he turns her into a vampire (which technically makes him her dad as well). Lestat describes her boobs in lurid detail and literally refers to them as "lovers kissing" in canon. Gabrielle ends up abandoning her sonlover after a couple years on the road together, causing him to literally bury himself under a house out of sheer misery. If they try to smooth any of this over in the books I will riot.
freaky, freaky man and his genderqueer mother who he’s totally normal about. they kiss on the mouth many times and are described as lovers
Rinne/Hiiro:
they come from a feudal village where rinne (older) was being groomed into the next leader, and hiiro (younger) groomed into his personal servant and bodyguard. the only problem is…rinne wants nothing more than to dote on his baby brother and spoil him to the ends of the earth. hiiro hardly developed a sense of self outside of his duty to rinne, but rinne wants him to be his own person SO badly. he doesn't want to make hiiro into his little personal soldier. he just wants his baby brother to be happy.
Hiiro left his village swearing to destroy all idols to get his brother back, Rinne needs to pretend to be drunk in order to tell his brother how he really feels and Hiiro still sees right through him, they are literally the leader and his body guard raised from birth to be devoted to the other and they somehow keep it even through their new goal of being popstars, it's amazing.
"You shaped everything about yourself in order to become the handiest creature to me… You kinda love me, right, lil bro"
"it was right for me to take care of him because we are 6 years apart. Watching over his quick growth was one of my few enjoyments back then - no matter how difficult things were, i was able to endure them because of this."
"I will protect, love and support him just like he once loved and sheltered me"
"i'm sorry, hiiro. im a pathetic big brother, and this little freedom is all i can give you."
"He gets under my skin just rememberin’ him, that Hiiro. It comes naturally to him. What a frightening little brother, leaving scars on the heart of his Onii-chan he’s oughta respect."
"To him, I am his whole life — So if I were to turn out to be a foolish and useless human…"
"Hmm? Why are you hugging me? Need attention?"
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ouagh menty illness hours
#ignore this im fine just. fuckign sick of it man#i don't feel like a real person who exists like 99% of the time it is insane how nonexistent i feel#and it makes it so difficult to do anything about anything that's a problem#like. i have so much wrong with me physically i should see a doctor about#and as for my brain. yeesh.#i promised my therapist i would look into seeing someone about ocd. havent done that yet#my anxiety is fine until it's not and then that's a whole fucking ordeal#big sad is marginally better but like im still too depressed to fucking do anything half the time so it's not great#i rly feel like i just sit in the back of my own head 99% of the time watching myself live#and then very occasionally im pulled into the driver's seat and it's like Fuck Me Im A Person With A Life When Did That Happen#i know how i got here but like how the fuck did i get here. whose fucking life is this#idk man i was supposed to be getting an early night but here i am 3 hours later lmfao#also im on a KILLER downer now the panto is over i actually wanna cryyyy i miss everyone so bad already#sobbing wailing clutching my chest staring into the middle distance etc#anyway i need to go to bed omg goodnight and im sorry if ur reading this <3#useless post#personal#edit: LMFAO TUMBLR JUST TRIED TO GET ME TO BLAZE THIS can u fucking imagine
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worst trope is found family separating as soon as the antagonist is dealt with.
#yes this is about voltron and it's also about guardians of the galaxy#what james gunn did to gamora in GOTG3 is criminal#i understand why they did it but to end with her GOING BACK TO THE RAVAGERS?#fail end.#seriously#and it doesnt even make sense bc ofc the high evolutionary isnt going to be the last problem they would deal with#in just a few years they encountered 5 people trying to destroy the universe and who were incredibly difficult foes#youre finna tell me there will never be a situation like that for the rest of their lives?#gtfo#and mantis' end was dumb too not even sorry#i can tolerate drax and nebula's ends.#but everyone else?#stupid#even peter's ending was fucking moronic. bro can pop in on the weekends he doesnt need to be a live in nurse for his grandpa#it's just such a major letdown and sucks everytime a director/author decides to split up the found family permanently#at least with voltron you can rationalize it by saying 'oh they never really wouldve hung out with eachother if they werent forced to for#voltron and werent forced to fight a war together.' and i can see it bc none of them DO hang out together before voltron#they barely even hang out AFTER they become voltron#keith and shiro hang out bc of the adoption/fostering/mentoring thing. lance and hunk MIGHT hang out bc they were already teammates#it's important to note that we never really see hunk and lance being bffs. theyre just friendly to eachother.#this becomes even more apparent once hunk and pidge actually become friends. it's very obvious hunk was just being friendly to lance.#just friendly.#(take this with a grain of salt bc ive only watched the whole series one time. i refuse to acknowledge anything after se 2.)#so yeah it does make more sense theyd all go their own ways but not even the small friend groups stay together at the end!#pidge and hunk are in completely different galaxies from eachother. same with keith and shiro#lance is isolated from all of them bc post se 3 writing team genuinely hated him and failed him as a character.#but GOTG3? they CHOSE to band together time and time again. they CHOSE to be a team. they CHOSE to be family#for every single one of them to say 'nah fuck that i want to be on my own bc uhhh reasons!' is a lame ending.#period.#gotg3
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard
#i have to operate under the assumption that if people have an issue they will tell me but unfortunately this isnt true .#and it has happened to me in the past that i thought everything was ok because people were giving signals i wasnt picking up on#due to the autism so now im paranoid and constantly looking for signs i did something wrong and people are mad#and then i find them where they arent there which perversely does more to ruin a friendship than almost anything else#like the constant Are you mad at me... so i try to force myself not to do that and just#try to again assume that people arent however. im so worried about being blindsided Also of course i naturally dont want to make people#upset so if i am doing something wrong i want to change my behavior. however the fact its nuanced like#where you have to only do that a little bit and then take people at their word most of the time#fucking sucks like you actually are required in relationships to read peoples unspoken signals but you cant do that Too much#and if you misinterpet them its bad... but you cant ask for feedback too much because thats bad too. IT DOES MY HEAD IN actually like#it makes it so hard for me to interact with people because im just worried All of the time . and i have to be constantly like#ok check the facts and adjust behavior. check the facts and adjust behavior. make sure the facts are facts and not jumping to conclusions.#ok how do i do that . ok when do i ask directly. also people dont always tell the truth when you Do ask directly .#and then this is why my whole life i have mostly kept to myself and im trying to stop doing that but its hard because talking to others is a#puzzle for me that stresses me out more than anything else. man this sucksssssss can i just BE NORMAL!!!!!!#i know like Everyone has this problem its a common issue with relationships Communication but it feels especislly difficult for me .i#like cant fathom how other people manage very large numbers of friendships like even being able to count my close friends#on one hand i feel like im barely managing everything and im letting everyone down constantly but again i think thatsnonly my perception/#worry and not even true. god
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*
#god i wish i believed in magic lol#it would be so fun to do little witch shit and believe herbs can fix my little problems i would love that#bc honestly the closest i get is believing that the placebo effect leads to people who do this stuff maybe experiencing like…#psychological peace because they feel protected by their rituals#love that#love things to bring people inner peace#im super curious about that kind of stuff like wicca and tarot and the like at least as like a fun thing but i just don’t believe in it#i really would love to study dietetics and i keep trying to but the schools in my area make it annoyingly difficult to have a clean route#Like going point A to point B is extremely difficult#but i feel like studying the effects of food on the human body is like the closest i could come to a belief in#some kind of herbal divinity and i understand that is probably just barely a component of any of this stuff but it’s what i#Was looking at on ig just now so it’s fresh on my mind lmao#sorry to any believers if anything i said came off as insensitive#if nothing else it looks fun from my little cynical armchair#idk i feel like this is the only place i can talk abt this stuff freely tbh lol#tumblr has always felt like a little cave to me i just come here to spew thoughts into a void and ig watch kpop boys be sexy#rip
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been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).
also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)
& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)
the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.
admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy
but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.
#good idea generator#kas plays ironsworn#am giving it a tag because i will continue to talk about this. its my blog#idk i just find in dnd like. players often FEEL threatened WAY before they actually are threatened#which makes it really hard to balance combat because players treat evenly matched fights like hopeless death traps#so instead they do underleveled combat that feels boring for some hard to pin down reason#but like. the reason is even though you're nervous about the dm's description and the things the monsters can do#there is no real threat. especially in bigger parties where the players DOMINATE action economy. they are always in control#so of course it gets boring. it drags out so everyone can take their turn but it never forces you to make difficult choices#or to totally exhaust all your abilities. after awhile the combats start to feel same-y#because even if the monster is different. you never have to do anything different to defeat it#ofc this is a subjective assessment and also if youre reading this and we play dnd together this is not a gripe abt our table i love u#i think it's really easy to get trapped doing this esp in tables which like rp more than combat#because its also like. once you're used to a certain balance of combat if your dm suddenly threw you a big one#you assume that this is a uniquely large threat in the narrative as well (rather than a rebalancing attempt)#and treat it accordingly. which is to say with way too much caution because it isnt actually that big of a threat#so then as a dm when you have to maintain the feeling of threat and the mechanical threat#(especially when sometimes the mechanical line between 'cakewalk' and 'tpk' is razor thin#and is more about the initiative order and luck than anything else)#you start to prioritize the feeling of threat. which is imo the right call always#but its just after awhile when you feel the threat but nothing ever happens to anybody. the dissonance starts to affect the table#also balancing dnd combat as a dm is really hard and often requires a LOT of on the fly adaptation#because sometimes the CR is useless and you don't know how it's gonna do until the dice are on the table already#anyway. my point is that im enjoying how ironsworn handles this problem
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It is because these people are stupid. Hope this helps.
#like. I don't know what to tell you. most people who commit murder are not Super Genius Criminal Masterminds#if your priority is killing someone and not anything else you don't make a flashy spectacle of it???? most people who do shit like this#want attention. it's not about some moral obligation they want attention. and when people prioritize Getting Attention. they do some#pretty contradictory and myopic things. have you ever observed a human. jfc y'all are not serious people#current events#tw: guns#okay sorry I'M SORRY. I'll stop talking about this. I just feel like I'm going insane#worshiping this guy is NOT it#y'all are going to drive me to substance abuse is2g#In the Vents#also.#if you are a feminist. then you should be against this. hold on let me explain before you go 'how are those even related you're deranged'#violent men are typically the ones more likely to hate women and abuse their partners because of it. and spousal homicide is going to#be a LOT harder to do if no one has access to guns. if you say 'oh there's an acceptable situation where you can point blank shoot someone#because they're a loathsome enough person' then. these people are going to take away the message that if their girlfriend/wife/female#relative/partner/etc. is 'bad' enough. is making their lives difficult enough. then it is acceptable to murder them. if you say 'there is#an acceptable circumstance for this' then EVERYONE WILL THINK THAT *THEY* HAVE THE ACCEPTABLE CIRCUMSTANCE#holding up guns as the solution to your problems IS ONLY GOING TO END WITH MORE WOMEN MORE KIDS AND MORE MINORITIES DEAD#and if you think that's an acceptable sacrifice because someone you hate might die. then I think maybe you shouldn't be talking to me.#like I said. I'm not going to be patient anymore. this is non-negotiable for me. if you're valorizing this guy and the culture of#gun violence that made his actions possible then get out I don't want to talk to you.#oh also once again: if your takeaway from this is that I'm somehow defending the CEO and you come on my post to say that I'm putting#you on blast so everyone can point and laugh at you for your lack of reading comprehension. again hope this helps :)
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I think you said Siete and Lucanis would get on fine but would Solas like him?
Actually, also, do you think you could leave Lucanis and Solas in a room together or would they be at each other's throats?
Solas and Lucanis?
They do interreact in late game so i have a few ideas about that.
Contains Veilguard spoilers, and unfortunately some negativity about it too:
Mainly esp with a romanced Lucanis, Lucanis wants to kill Solas for what he did to Rook. So huh. Well. That's already not exactly a stellar start. Though he does say that if Rook wants to spare Solas, he will follow Rook's desire -- but if Solas even endanger Rook even once, Lucanis will not hesitate to kill him.
Meanwhile Solas feels a lot of pity for Lucanis. Both Lucanis AND Spite were forced into cohabitating and Solas comments that it's a horrible thing to inflict over two souls. He even offers that, at the end of all things, he could separate them if they wanted. Both Lucanis and Spite refuse on the spot because not only they came to an agreement, but they don't trust him. Not after what he did to Rook. And Spite comments that all he smells over Solas are tears and lies.
(Solas was responsible for the thing that got Rook locked away for a few weeks, and if Solas' plan went according to him, Rook wouldn't have been let out. Lucanis mentions that he cannot bear the thought of losing Rook and those past few weeks are hinted to have been agonizing for him. So even outside of just "you hurt Rook" i think the fact he felt like hell for a few weeks also makes him want to kill Solas. He does fall back on revenge a lot, especially while fuelled by a Spite demon.)
Before that, i'd have to rewatch the Solas regrets scenes to refresh myself on Lucanis' feelings about it but i think i recall Lucanis being a bit more on the understanding side? or maybe i'm projecting.
But i think Lucanis would understand where Solas is coming from but he can't accept the cost or the means to get there. He always saw what a threat Solas could be, and after he hurt Rook this was done and over for him. I think Lucanis will remain hostile because he's good at holding a grudge.
One thing the game never really mentions but is from the books is that Lucanis genuinely goes out of his way to get revenges for slaves and free them. I always thought it would be relavent to connecting with Solas or not because like. The extreme Lucanis goes through to punish slavers and anyone who enable them should be something Solas would connect to. In the same book we see Solas ruthlessly punish slavers as well. As per the books, i think the two of them would actually relate and understand each other a lot. and i think Solas would like the extends in which Lucanis is ready to go to free slaves outside of his orders.
In a way both Solas and Lucanis were forged to become weapons by a matriarch figure in their lives. Solas just eventually rebelled, while Lucanis still is loyal to her, even though he breaks away from it to disobey and free slaves. And i think it's like. In the Books, we have kind of this built up of how Lucanis is more like when Solas was still young, still in the service of Mythal, yet still unable to look away from the misery of people.
And they're both pretty mellow people. They're understanding and listens to others a lot. They have their share of hyperfixation. I didn't pick the option but i think Lucanis also doesn't like tea so it makes them bond on that.
But at their core they are freedom fighter who had been molded into giving death only. Solas broke free from it. Lucanis didn't but he disobey when he can.
The game....... doesn't really touch on that. In fact it barely even touch on Lucanis' complicated feelings toward Caterina despite being a perfect foil to Solas being molded by Mythal to be who he is. .... the game also pretty much just makes Caterina a loving Grandmother, which is understandable bc she has been missing Lucanis when he was gone for one year, but therefore makes nothing to address the very complicated dynamic in the Dellamorte family as it is hinted in the book.
If their storylines focused more on that, i feel like they would see more of each other into the other, or at least Solas would see himself in Lucanis, because i don't know if Lucanis is self aware enough to really understand the depth of the abuse he went through with Caterina.
And the problem with Veilguard imo is that, while i love the storyline and i love Spite, focusing all of Lucanis' struggles on Spite leaves no room to actually address the deep root of his trauma (i mean there's Illario but. I think overthinkers can manage to tie the plot back together but the game itself will do very little effort to dive deeper into how it plays on both their CPTSD.). Lucanis has both CPTSD and PTSD. CPTSD because of the Crows, and PTSD because of the experiments made on him the past year. The game only really dive into the PTSD and the way it intersect with the CPTSD when you free him from PTSD prison -- but it does very little to address the CPTSD. Which i get because this would be long and hard (but the ending of this quest makes it very bitter to me), but is definitely something i have to take into account here.
But as the game goes... I don't know i think i still need to get my thoughts more sorted about it, i had years to really dive into Lucanis' story in the book and only a month to think about his story in the game, i'm clearly not on the same level of depth here, and the bait and switch with Spite means i didn't pay enough attention early on -- which is why i'm replaying it too!
And there's also the whole.... The thing is that i think if you take the book AND game together, an idea of them together, you could get something extremely compelling about the Benevolent but Abusive Matriarch That Formed You Into A Weapon, and the Betrayal Of Those You Considered Brothers. Like i feel like if they bothered to show more about the Felassan betrayal in game aside from the revenant, there could be some introspection and elements of Lucanis putting himself in Felassan's place after Illario's betrayal. There is a concept, right here, ready to be explored, that is... just not enough invested in, and wouldn't even be something you'd bother to pick up if you hadn't read the books and read Lucanis' complicated feelings about Caterina and the depth of his bond with Illario, when the game made the two of that... very one dimensional without the context.
But Spite makes things a bit difficult. Still Solas would see that it's two souls being bound, and he detests this idea. He detests the inherent slavery, he detests the way it is altering the both of them. But he admires that they managed to make it work and he admires that Lucanis gave this opportunity to Spite as well, as humans and non mage are rarely this opened to Spirit possession and understanding.
But yeah ultimately i think the difference, especially in game, is that Lucanis is more driven by his personal feelings than the bigger picture like Solas is. So Lucanis will hold grudge over how Rook was hurt regardless of the bigger picture. And while Solas CAN get petty and arrogant with someone who is hostile to him, he's less so when he agrees he's in the wrong, and he does agree it was horrible of him to do that to Rook, so he's been withstanding Lucanis' anger. That said Solas would get rid of Lucanis if Lucanis stood in the way of his goal.
So like.
I think pre-Rook betrayal they could stand in a room together and be cordial with each other. they'd be wary of each other and have difficulties being nice, but they are professionals. They won't start fights for no reason.
(unless Solas would address the inherent slavery of the Crow system but Veilguard kinda retconned everything about it so what is there left to comment on. where is slavery even in Veilguard.)
but Post-Rook betrayal Lucanis would have a dagger out the whole time. He'd be glaring daggers. And Solas can't even be mad because he knows he has every reasons to be treated this way. If Rook tells Lucanis no, Lucanis will behave, but he will make clear he won't forgive Solas and that he's ready to kill him if he does anything wrong. If Rook does nothing, Lucanis will just keep to whatever he would have promised about it before. But if Rook is mean to Solas you can be sure Lucanis will go "AND ANOTHER THING" supporting his lover while making sure Solas feels like shit and knows the dagger is ready to go to his throat anytime.
so huh.
that's my take away. I think.
#ichareply#anonymous#ichafantalks da#ichablogging davg#i love Lucanis in the game and i do think he's consistant with his book character#but the setting and the others characters not being consistant#and the Lucanis' troubles in focus in both stories#make it so difficult to really talk to it in a way i feel would be clean#i wish i could just stick to a wastonian approach where i take everything as canon and tries to connect the dots#but it's really not giving me enough dots for those connections to be clean to start with#mopes.#im replaying the game and i'm enjoying it again so it's fine#there's good things about the game!! i really love so many things!!!#but. man. the problems i have with it are so big it breaks my heart a bit#'a bit' as if i didnt spend two weeks unable to do anything but stare at the celling#wondering if i'm really too stupid to understand the game or if i have genuine reasons to feel this broken inside#OH WELL.#no depression anymore now i have denial.#(for now)
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so much stuff happening in the periphery of my world and i just cannot be bothered to give a fuckkkk. no more ✋️
#w the exception of my one friend who is having a legitimately really hard time right now#that i give a fuck about#but like. someone i've never met having problems with me. and someone else i dont talk to anymore making my friendships more complicated#i dont caaaaaaare#no more drama#i just want to chill. why do there have to be problems#in fact the only thing that pisses me off is that people cant just have these isolated problems with just me#it has to ripple out and make my other friendships more difficult to maintain too#idkkkk. i dont really even care enough to make it a matter of blaming anyone for anything ots just so stuuuuuupid#anyway. 2 full weekends with my partner lie before me
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#super freaking out cos my friend who is a vet has offered me a job at her practice as a care assistant#so my job would just be to do all the little jobs. help looking after the animals. cleaning. sometimes calling patients etc#it's a fantastic opportunity but it looks so much more difficult then anything i've ever done before#and on the one hand i'm like ''yes! i love animals! i need a steady income! this is perfect!''#but on the other... i haven't been at my current job that long. so it feels like a dick move to up and leave.#i don't know if i'd be able to cope with the animals dying all the time. some of the stuff i'd have to do looks really technical#and i'm scared i'll do it wrong (eg put the wrong label on the wrong medicine) and it'll lead to an animal dying#like it's a proper full time monday-friday 9-5 kinda gig#which is great cos my current job is a ''are we gonna give you more than 2 days next week?? who knows! it's a supprise!!''#and that situation is stressing me out. so i do need something different#but this is like a proper serious job. and idk that's scary#plus my friend would be my boss. which i don't mind. but i dont want her to vouch for me and then i'm terrible at it...#cos that's not fair on her#they've offered me a trial shift next week. so i guess i could do that and just scope it out..#it also feels like nepotism which doesn't super sit right#but it's not a sure thing. the other vets and practice owners have to agree and they may not like me. it's not like i have experience#and it's only a low paid position so if its nepotism its not like... super beneficial nepotism...#sigh. i know i should go for it. just last time i went for a big different job like this it ended badly#and i ended up back in retail.#so i don't wanna go thru that all again#but i also dont wanna stay working in this shop forever. it wouldn't be too bad if only i had regular hours. .#and i knew what those hours were more than a week in advance#i know this is like.. a non-problem. i'm just stressing about it#plus its making me feel guilty whenever i go into my current job. like i'm cheating on them#i do need that regular income tho#screams in anxiety
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