#and it felt foreign and off
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canichangemyblogname · 1 year ago
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For allies and other genderqueer people...
If you're curious about someone's pronouns and are unsure of their gender, ask personally. If you want to know where someone's landed in a gender journey because where they are has changed from where you knew them- and they've largely yet to tell people- ask personally.
Don't corner someone. Don't confront someone. Just ask casually and privately if you feel you must. Please.
Because otherwise, you're making someone choose between the discomfort of being untrue to themselves or the discomfort of outing themselves in public where that might not be safe.
Don't, for example, ask a "hypothetical" someone in front of a large group- some of whom are complete strangers and some of whom are old friends this person has not seen in literally years- if pronouns have changed. Even if everyone at the table is queer. Don't ask someone this in the middle of a restaurant in ear-shot of other patrons and all the employees. Don't then proceed to yell across the table asking about this person's gender journey and if this person bought a binder and if this person binds, and where this person's transition might go from here. Even if you are genderqueer and at one time explored your gender expression in a similar way.
When this totally "hypothetical" person hedges around the questions with a shrug and an "I don't know," don't press this person. Drop it. Certainly, don't insist on using a different set of pronouns than the ones you were previously familiar with. "How about they/them? I'll use they/them." Because now this person has to choose between being misgendered or coming out in the middle of a fucking restaurant miles away from home and in front of strangers. And even if this person chooses to stay in the closet at that moment by asking you to use old pronouns, you have still made this person choose between being misgendered or coming out in public in front of literal strangers.
And also! Don't tell a totally "hypothetical" dude that he needs to discover the wonders of being involved with women romantically and sexually immediately after he tells you he's a dude and, yes, he likes guys. And don't insist that one day he'll have a sexuality crisis and realize he's "gay" because he probably, truly likes women. And when he corrects you and tells you, "If I'm a dude and I'm exclusively into chicks, that'd make me het," don't double down. Because that tells him that you essentially see him as "girl lite" or a different font of girl. You see him as a chick who's just so quirky that she uses he/him pronouns and goes by an edgy name as a "fuck you" to the patriarchal gender binary, but that's not who HE is.
#gender journey#I had a terrible night last night#I told them to call me Evan and use he/him pronouns#as quietly as I could#and then felt off about it all night#and woke up this morning feeling so wrong#it was the first time my name and pronouns were used in public rather than private- like my home or a friend's home#and it felt foreign and off#nothing like the joy I felt when I came out online#I couldn't stop smiling the first time I told my discord server to change my pronoun preference to he/him#it felt comfy and easy the first time moots greeted me with a 'lil 'Hi Evan'#and I was having trouble this morning reconciling that joy with the fear I felt last night#shouldn't I be happy?#All night I just wanted to put the cat back in the bag#I am still so unsure of myself. I don't think I was ready for a public announcement like that#the difference. I think (besides the anonymity of online allowing me more freedom) is that I came out online on my own terms#I don't like truly public announcements#every time I heard 'he' and 'him' last night it rang in my ears#not in the same way that she/her does; with discordance#but more with unfamiliarity and peculiarity#like I was experiencing a ten-second lag all night#I'm not yet used to the sound of my new name#it might be too different from the name I've been hearing for the last 26 yrs of my life#but a part of me feels backed into the corner#I told them my name. And now there's no going back#I can't walk back into the closet#I wasn't ready. Plain and simple#my dysphoria with being afab is also just hitting really hard today
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doodlejoltik · 3 months ago
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my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator
#rei#volo#cheren#// tikposting#// character meta#the crowd booes me off the stage#forgive the pun XDDD his name is too easy to pun on#the way i write it it's not a conscious choice. it's just how the pov character (rei) experiences and contextualises the world#revealing backstory and personality and mindset through narration !!!!#not necessarily out of malice it's just. how he views things#interpreting new and foreign experiences through the lens of what came before...#conversations which read differently to different people.#in the context of rei that's stuff like unease around authority figures#always choosing his words carefully to project an image of competence (he has to be needed)#distrust and not taking things at face value but also paradoxically a fragile and nurtured sense of almost blind optimism#when it comes to friendships. like volo. (everyone turned on me when the sky turned red but it all resolved itself in the end didn't it?)#(what makes this different? / a lot of things. / i choose to believe)#volo [directly]: “i won't be stopped from my goal” rei thoughts: we can work with this!!!!#and everything with Arceus too and his divine blessings and a plan that will work out in the end#if Rei can just... figure out what part he's meant to play. interpreting events as a narrative hurtling towards some unknown conclusion#i am talking about rei here specifically but this writing device is so good in general#would be fun to try get inside volo's head. there's so much going on there i don't understand yet#quite fond of that one analysis post about how volo lacks emotional intelligence and sees relationships as transactions#not necessarily out of malice it's just how he views things. whether because of past experience or brain chemistry#also need to give a shout to cheren my guy who is an outsider pov who projects his own experiences onto new things so that he Understands#(an outsider to Hilbert and N's clash of truth and ideals. life changing experience and knowledge but felt just a little off to the left)#(the narrative repeated again with new heroes. all he can do is help them but it falls on their shoulders in the end)#(no wonder he tries to insert himself into Situations)#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD#rei pokemon
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entropyvoid · 14 days ago
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There is a particular subgenre of post I keep seeing on this webbed site wherein people denigrate individualistic cultures but talk about collectivistic ones like they’re the absolute best thing to happen the world and have no flaws of any kind and I really have to wonder how many people making or reblogging those have actually had the opportunity to live in both
#ch.txt#like don’t get me wrong american individualism is a special kind of fend-for-yourself hellscape#and I get that that’s probably what a lotta these idiots are trying to push back against#as the english-speaking internet is like. infested with us#but like. realistically both cultural models have both profound positives and negatives#and it is easy to miss the social issues of a culture you are not a part of. smthng about the grass being greener on the other side or w/e#like i do not know how to adequately describe to you what I’ve seen social pressures alone do to people in south korea when I lived there#but I do not think the need to fit in permeating every facet of not only a person’s being but also opportunities and future is a good thing#and when I see those posts I can’t help but think of the droves of people who got plastic surgery to fit within a narrow beauty standard#under threat of never being employed#or how people throw themselves off bridges for doing poorly on college entrance exams#or all the social problems that arise from confucianism#or even just how I rarely saw people venturing outside one of two clothing colors: black or white#or how autistic people there are percieved as subhuman monsters for inability to conform#hell I actually felt the judgment and pressure of that last one personally#and that’s saying a lot bc a lotta people will give an obvious foreigner more room to be eccentric#at least far more room for that than they would have given to another (at least perceived) korean#but there is a limit to the amount of both awkwardness and individuality the average person there will tolerate#like these things are all extensions of collectivism in the same complicated way that ppl kicking their 18 year olds onto the streets#is ultimately just one of many terrible ways in which individualism is expressed#and all these things are not universal to collectivistic cultures. but the conformity is born from and influenced by collectivism#it’s too fucking complicated and multifaceted to dub one or the other as fully good or bad!#and frankly there is far too much of both for you to even call one better than the other!#i don’t have the mental bandwidth to break down the hows and whys of all these social issues but I hope I have at least conveyed something#disclaimer: I do love south korea and I miss a lot of things about it#but every place on earth has its issues and living there for years will inevitably teach you about at least some of them
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derpinette · 9 months ago
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whenever a guy approaches me i start wishing i had a giant forehead tattoo that reads "I AM NOT & WILL NEVER EVER BE INTERESTED LEAVE ME ALONE PERMANENTLY" so i could flash it at them
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shvdowsdrowned · 10 months ago
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Played apex for the first time in probably a month and 9 kills n 1800 damage in my first tdm match doesn't seem that bad
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sassmill · 11 months ago
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Ah fuck it’s 2 am and I saw myself in the bathroom mirror and now I’m having gender thoughts
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leefi · 2 years ago
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itchy tooth all day. constant runny nose & cough continuing on 5 days after I recovered from my cold. ears feeling plugged/high-pressure and popping (then getting replugged again) over the past week. haven’t heard things around me properly in days. I’m about to bite into someone
#literally have to keep tissues on hand constantly because my nose is like a dripping faucet ugh this is awfullll#the itchy tooth is definitely the worst though I hope it’s temporary and I don’t need a root canal#I stay so on top of brushing/flossing/dentists visits but 3 weeks ago I was eating dinner#and my bite suddenly felt REALY weird. like one of my lower teeth was way too high up#the next morning I bite into a croissant and feel something hard in my mouth and 🥰 the back wall of one of my premolars just. fell off.#had to wait a week to see the dentist bc she was closed for the holidays#looks at the tooth#ur mouth is so healthy no plaque no enamel at all but you had a huge filling done there probably like a decade ago#and bc you grind ur teeth in your sleep it just. fractured under the stress#me: oh. that was possible#dentist; yeah girl 😔#anyway I got the filling done on Monday and got fitted for a night guard too 😭👍 and an ortho referral. but now it’s ITCHY#it was fine the first two days and now it’s bothering me. I’ve felt a dying nerve before and it isn’t this so I’m hoping it’s just#irritation/body going 🚨 over what it thinks is a foreign body (because they basically redid the whole filling)#but ugfhhhh if I need a root canal….#it’s one of those buildups of so many annoyances that if ONE more thing slightly annoys me I might start crying LOL#I know none of this is really that bad but it’s adding up LMAO#YES ENAMEL I MEANT NO PLAQUE*** AM TIRED LSJSJSJS
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neoyuno · 2 years ago
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What if I wrote more of idol!wonwoo x producer!reader from the “no biting” universe? :o read tags for my idea ♥︎
#where svt (mostly jihoon) has been wanting to work with her and she has been wanting to work with them too (cause theyre great and also#cause she has a crush on wonwoo. not knowing wonwoo also developed a crush on the producer jihoon wont stop talking about. cause he gave#your music a listen and he was like ‘damn… this some good shit’ and understood why the other guys love your work but also became interested#in you bc youre pretty and talented and exude powerful energy duh! so he got immersed into watching your content. from mvs to interviews to#your little producing workshops where he became fond of the way your eyes glistened while talking aboit music. and then one day they have a#comeback and the company tells them that they got in contact with a huge foreign producer that been wanting to work with them so they are#like??? and they are told that the producer would arrive in a couple of hours while the recording interns get the studio ready to fir her#workflow. wonwoo notices the set up is similar to one you had shown in one of your ‘a day in the stufio’ vlogs but he brushed it off bc you#did mention it’s sort of the standard at your record label. so after a couple of hours they sll sit at the recording studio waiting for the#new dude they will work with. EXCEPT!!! its not a dude…#as soon as the door opens they are greeted with the woman they had only listened through their earphones and seen through the tv#they are all so starstruck and excited and start greeting you and hollering and asking questions… but wonwoo just sits back because#WHAT THE FUCK??? HOW ARE YOU THIS GORGEOUS IN PERSON??? he was in shock at how angelical and ethereal you actually were#he doesn’t snap out of it until he hears the most beautiful voice call out his name. you greet him shyly and he doesn’t miss how your hand#trembled when you shook his matching one… the obvious blush on your face masked behind the weather being hot/cold. but you dont show the#fact that you both felt a spark as your hands joined… then you all get to talking about how the album is gonna go and how you#want to give them absolute creative liberty as you are not there to lead but to work together with them. conversations flow until jeonghan#asks where youll be staying for the whole 3 months… to which you reply that you have been looking for a hotel/airbnb but they are all#unavailable bc of the season. so mingyu being the sweetheart and oblivious baby he is…. offers you the spare room in his and wonwoos house#to which the boys all agree and you decline (politely and shyly) at first bc living with wonwoo????? uhhh???#that would mean he would see you with your bed hair and you wete not allowing that!!! but then once wonwoo said it was okay bc they would#love the company (even tho his ass was sweating bc the prettiest girl in the world would be there everyday!!)#you agreed and so that’s how your love story starts (or well… your friendship that then will bloom into the relationship in ‘no biting’#TADA! SHOULD I??? IDK??? SHOULD I??#wonwoo smut#wonwoo fluff#can yall tell what my career is? LMAO#manifestation bish ♥︎
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maliciouslove · 1 year ago
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some little girl just stopped me on the street to tell me my hair is pretty.. 🥺🥺🥺🥺
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daandori · 1 year ago
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i really dont want to fucking be here today
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frau-wilhelm-klink · 6 months ago
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The generational gap between me and people my own age who use a million abbreviations. Don't get me wrong....I use some of them too, but some of y'all be out here trying to abbreviate a whole sentence into a few letters🤣
The generation gap between me and ppl of my own age
#WOWWWW#I did NOT come here to be called out like this😂😭#Tumblr decided to hit me with the most unprovoked personal attack I've ever gotten#Of which there's been quite a few from this hellsite#The struggle is real...and apparently I'm not the only one who feels that way#I legit feel like Steve Martin's character from that movie 'Bringing Down the House' every time I hear someone from Gen Z talk#'What did you just say?'😂#It doesn't help that they changed what emojis mean either#*old lady voice*#Back in my day a skull meant something bad! You whippersnappers!#*shakes cane*#get off my lawn!#Sometimes it seems like Gen Z is speaking a foreign - wait#WAIT#I regret to inform you all that I've just come to a disturbing realization#What if...what if this is how our parents felt when we developed OUR slang?🤔#(this applies to all generations)#Remember how our parents would be so baffled when we talked? With the 'I have no clue what you're talking about right now' look?#And we would just sigh in exasperation? Like it was SO OBVIOUS what we were saying‚ but they were just too 'out if touch' to understand us?#Oh no#Things have come full circle you guys#We've become our parents😭#Now WE'RE the ones out here not understanding slang‚ while the younger generations look at us like 'Keep up old timer'#Well this is some bullshit#I didn't need to come to this realization today#But since I have I hope all of you are distraught by it as well because misery loves company#Guess it's time to break out the bingo cards‚ prune juice and argue over who gets the last pudding cup while we stay up until 9pm🤣#That's about all we've got to look forward to now that we're senior citizens#Rip to all of us - it was nice having our youth while it lasted😂#random post
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rosestthorns · 10 days ago
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Not me straight up yapping to my therapist about my crush for 30 minutes
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medicinemane · 30 days ago
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Me skimming a woodworking video I'm not that interested in so I skip to the end
"I always feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish a piece"
Well that's good, but also we couldn't be more dissimilar on that my man. Like I don't know the last time I heard something I related to less
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thebraiidybunch · 3 months ago
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Actually like. Slowly letting myself have friends and believing they're friends is lonelier somehow when I believed people were all inherently hateful and cold and selfish because damn, now I constantly long for attention and companionship but I have to do lame shit like. Go to bed and work.
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freedarick · 4 months ago
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I am cardless starting this month. Can't pay for shit online anymore :(
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s0dium · 6 months ago
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Needy
Pervert!Yuuta x Reader
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Synopsis: Yuuta has avoided the touch of women for years due to having a homicidal jealous curse attached to him. Hell, he has even avoided touching himself. But something happens that makes him break
Warning: Male masturbation, pillow humping, edging, mentions of breeding, pining
Pt.2
~
Having a homicidal jealous curse attached to you 24/7 that threatens to murder any woman that comes close to you, changes a man.
In Yuuta's case that meant that sex was out of the question. In fact, everything involving the slightest bit of physical intimacy was out of the question. Handshake? Yuuta would rather not risk it. Hugging? Sure if you wanted to get your head chopped off. Even when Yuuta joined Jujutsu High and became able to control Rika better, his ways of avoiding women had already been so ingrained into him, that any kind of intimacy was just foreign to him.
This didn't mean the Yuuta didn't think about it. He even indulged in the small things, like replaying the sex scene in a movie or eying the women in Todo's magazines he would bring on occasion. But that wasn't enough to quell the thrumming in his head or the whisper in the back of his mind craving more. Yuuta truly thought he could ignore it all though, that is, until he met you.
At first, it was easy for him to treat you as nothing more than a friend, a classmate. He could ignore how peculiarly beautiful and kind you were. He could brush off how your witty remarks during tough missions always made him laugh, and how the light, airy giggles that escaped your mouth when Yuuta did something unintentionally funny made butterflies swarm in his stomach. Then summer rolled around, and you started wearing more revealing clothes—short skirts and tights instead of long pants, which were apparently "easier to train in" you told him.
And it was only when you innocently bent over to pick something up one afternoon, when Yuuta accidentally caught a glimpse of your white underwear that dug into the fat of your plump butt, that the dam finally broke. When you turned around to bashfully apologize for accidentally flashing him, Yuuta was already gone. Unbeknownst to you, he had fled to his dorm room, struggling to hide his painfully hard dick in his pants.
Yuuta barely makes it to his bed before he is pulling down his black uniform pants and wrapping a shaky hand around his thick cock. He's not an idiot, he knows how to jack off, but there is something different right now. When in the past the few times he touched himself was to quickly get rid of arousal, now Yuuta finds himself yearning for something more.
He slowly drags his hand down his shaft and the satisfaction is immediate: just one stroke sent electric flesh arrows of pleasure through his entire body. The pleasure is mind-numbing, and just a taste of it has him yearning for more.
“Oh fuh-“ Yuuta's voice comes out breathless. He screws his eyes shut and darts a tongue across his lips to wet them. Almost immediately his mind wonders back to you, how delicious your ass looked, how beautiful you are, how beautiful you would be with your lips wrapped around his dick. How would your breasts feel in his palm? What would your face look like if he tweaked and sucked on your nipples? God, what would your pussy feel like.
Pap pap. Yuuta was starting to create a semi fast rhythm, white precum collecting in the spaces of his fingers as he furiously glided his tight grip up and down his dick. He doesn't just want to think about you; he wants to obsess over you. He doesn't just want to feel pleasure; he wants to drown in it. No, he wants to drown in you.
He's practically panting right now imaging himself inside you. If he felt good right now, how good would the real thing be? Oh he bet the squeeze around his dick would be delicious, he can practically hear you whining his name. Yuuta's legs trembled as his hand gilded over his overstimulated red tip and down to his heavy balls. Jesus this was good, so good, he needed more, Yuuta needed more friction because god if he couldn't have your pussy right now he at least needed to pretend.
Through heavy pleasure-filled lidded eyes, he glanced to the pillow next time him.
He was becoming greedy.
Fuck it.
Without much of a thought, Yuuta grabbed the pillow, folded it in half, laid on his side, hastily put his dick between the white cloth, and started to thrust. The friction is delicious. It makes his toes curl and desperately thrusts his hips into the soft pillow.
“Mmmm,  mmm mhm” he whimpers. Your name is on the tip of his tongue, but he can barely speak so much as think. There’s a tingly warm feeling building in his stomach, the pleasure is overtaking him. What would you think if you could see him like this? Would you call him a pervert or maybe would you help him? Oh, what a dream that would be, your soft hands wrapped around him, oh he bet that you could make him feel better than this pillow ever could.
“Ah-Ah Y/n please….” The thought of you is consuming him, you don’t know it but you are giving him the best pleasure he has ever experienced in his life. Yuutas thrusts are becoming frantic, desperate, he could taste his release on the tip of his tongue. His black hair is starting to stick to his forehead from the sweat and he realized he should have taken off his white uniform coat because it was getting so hot. He was so close, so close to cumming, he hates how this pillow isnt you, isn't your pussy, after this, he promises to himself that he won't ignore you or your beauty anymore, he’ll obsess over you, kiss the ground you walk on, he’ll take care of you so good and -and oh, oh my god, he wants to breed you, fill you with cum-
“Ah-ahhh~”
Yuuta’s hips stutter into the pillow and thick ropes of cum coat the fabric. The pleasure makes his legs and mind go numb and he’s left panting, whimpering from the after shocks.
No, after this Yuuta will never avoid you again.
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