#im just really enjoying their company
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Not me straight up yapping to my therapist about my crush for 30 minutes
#this type of love is a new feeling for me#foreign but like... in a good way#like i dont understand it. but it feels right. feels like what i should be doing#ya know?#and i say crush but like not the stereotypical kind#p sure this is mutual#and im not tripping over myself about it#been building a relationship with them and honestly i have some feelings#and i want to share those feelings#i have a plan to as well#we're going on a trip at some point to a local island to bird watch and paint#honestly because of my philosophy in regards to romance#the friendship means way more to me than any romantic relationship ever could#but like. i think i want to be their partner#win lose or draw tho i know i want them in my life no matter what#ive never met someone who just gets me off the rip before#theres a comfort with them i havent felt before#i dont have to mask like at all#im free to go mute. im free to yap. im free to be quiet and reserved#they do the exact same#passionate. excitable. considerate. and a massive stoner to boot#we hung out all last week and just got high and talked#made some art and gone out and done some really fun stuff#im just really enjoying their company#i love how they ask permission of like everything#or rather consent#ive got a lot of trauma when it comes to physical contact#and im glad to know that doesnt have to be a worry with them
0 notes
Photo
bound to want (part two) /// part one rest of pages under READ MORE after ID
[ID: 23 page digital comic of Vashwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic is in a limited palette of a dark blue, light pink, white, black, and a light beige color for Vash's skin and a mid-brown color for Wolfwood's. This comic is the second part to "Bound to Want" and is spoiler-free. The first part is linked here.
It begins with a panel close up of Vash's expressions. The sky colored in dark blue can be seen behind him. He has a neutral expression, but he holds a slight frown and the reflection of his glasses covers one side of his eyes. Wolfwood says, "Hey. What's with the distance?" In the second panel, the shot widens to show both of them, a clear physical distance separating them with Wolfwood walking ahead and Vash trailing a little behind. Vash responds, "What? I'm just walking a bit slower today..." Wolfwood looks at him with a an irritated expression, clicking his tongue. Wolfwood says, "I was going to wait for you to start... But yer just running away away."
Vash is seen looking away, unable to hold eye contact with Wolfwood as he continues, "You've been avoiding me since that night. Did ya think I wouldn't notice? It's about that dream, right? Tell me about it already if you're going to be moping like this." Vash looks slightly downwards, his brows furrowing and he starts to walk ahead of Wolfwood without looking at him and responds stiffly, "I really don't want to talk about it..." Wolfwood looks at him with a surprised expression, but doesn't probe.
A panel close up to Wolfwood's eyes as he watches Vash go on ahead before he follows suite with an irritated sigh. The panels are overlapped by Wolfwood's hand holding the bottle of the Bride with motion lines, indicating a transition in time.
A wide shot of Vash and Wolfwood in a room now. Vash is seated, his back turned away from the viewer, while Wolfwood's body faces the viewer with his eyes looking towards Vash. He rests the bottle of the Bride on the table with a "clack" and his other hand holds two shotglasses. The background is coated in a light pink.
A panel shows a close up of Wolfwood's face, his eyes looking downwards to Vash as he says, "Let's drink." Next to this panel is Vash looking up at Wolfwood, his brows furrowed and a slight frown. The bottom half of the page is a wider shot with Vash's body turned away from the viewer as he says, "I'm not going to talk about it." Wolfwood responds, "You don't have to." as he sits down.
A wide panel of Wolfwood holding the shotglass, pouring in the drink as he continues, "I'll talk." The next panel is a profile view of Wolfwood, his eyes looking down at the now filled shotglass as he continues to say, "You're..."
"... upset with me." Vash can be seen next to this speech bubble with narrowed eyes, looking towards Wolfwood. The panels are all coated in with a dark blue background. Wolfwood continues, "I can't be certain why since yer not telling me a thing -- but it's probably... my bad." The panels show Wolfwood about to bring the shotglass to his mouth but he turns way as he continued to speak, his eyes not on Vash. The bottom page shows him looking away completely with a guilty expression as he says, "I'm sorry.
If you can ever tell me why, I can try and adjust to make it more bearable. But if you're just trying to get rid of me--" The panels follow Wolfwood's certain expression as he says this, "I don't intend to leave you. I can't... and I won't." A panel shows Vash's wide-eyed expression, surprised upon hearing this, and then his eyes soften as Wolfwood again concludes with, "I'm sorry."
Vash's inner thoughts begins, a boxed speech at the center of the page and panels of his eyes, his brows furrowing again and a resigned, but frustrated expression. His thoughts starts, "Stop. I shouldn't be happy hearing that. And why are you apologizing? I should be the one to..! I can't let anything like that happen to you. You deserve to live a long steady and peaceful life. I want to be optimistic. I want to protect you, but I might end up doing the opposite." The text surrounds Wolfwood from Vash's perspective, the other man drinking out of his shotglass, his eyes downcasted.
"I shouldn't have you. And you won't leave." Behind these text is a panel of Wolfwood's eyes finally looking over to Vash. Vash's thoughts continues, "It's so unfair." When Wolfwood sees Vash, his eyes soften and he frowns. The last panel shows the lower half of Vash's face, but tears begins to flow down his cheek. Wolfwood's hand is already reaching to wipe at them as he starts to say, "You know..."
A wider shot of Vash and Wolfwood, Vash slightly leaning forward with his mouth tightly shut, and tears steadily continuing to flow out of his closed eyes. Wolfwood continues to wipe at them with his hand as he continues, "This isn't a dream anymore. I don't know what you saw for you to be this shaken up, but whatever happened, you'll overcome it, right? If not you, I'm here too. You'll be okay, Spikey. So..." Wolfwood's expression grows more tender, "Have a little faith in me... and come back already." The dark blue starts to fade.
The wide panel has the dark blue background faded and replaced is the light pink. It shows Vash in full up to his shoulders, his eyes are still tears littered, but there's light in them as he says, "Wolfwood..." making eye contact with the other. The next panel shows Wolfwood's tender expression, his eyes and brows fully soften and he has a small smile on his lips, finally seeing the other return a level of sincerity with him.
The next panel shows the bottom half of Wolfwood's face and his hand is offered towards Vash for a dance as he says, "C'mon. We don't have to talk, but this is okay, right?" The background is now white and a ribbon flowing across the page separates this panel from the next sequence. Vash's inner thoughts continus, "I've spent too long avoiding this. It's scary to want after I've taken so much from others." A sequence close up of their hands is shown, with Wolfwood's outstretched hand on the right and Vash's reaching hand on the left. Vash gently places his hand in Wolfwood and at the bottom, Wolfwood wraps his fingers across Vash's.
Throughout the page, a dark blue ribbon starts to flow around the both of them with confetti raining alongside the effect. Vash and Wolfwood are hand and hand, dancing together with Wolfwood as the lead. The viewer can see a peak of Vash's expression, full of fondness but also a hint of sorrow as he looks down at Wolfwood. His inner thoughts continue, "I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. But why is that even though I have these burdens, I still want to love you. I still want you to be by my side."
With a close up of their mouths, Vash's thoughts continue, the text covering his mouth, "Wolfwood, I--" Wolfwood's speech bubble covers Vash's text as he completes his sentence, "want you." Vash's eyes widen for one panel and in the next, his eyes spark, a blush appearing on his cheek and the confetti flows and spark. Tears ease up on his eyes again.
"Want me too already, Spikey." Wolfwood has leaned in enough to rest his head against Vash, a hand of his on Vash's neck, holding his nape and another hand pressed gently against his back. A ribbon separates this panel from the next, a mix of confetti flows across the page, as Vash envelopes Wolfwood in a hug too, holding him and his hand gripping tightly onto his back.
This page is just the ribbon flowly throughout the page on the white background, one white ribbon and the other a dark blue. Near the bottom, the ribbon envelopes each other in a loop. A conversation of Vash and Wolfwood is held over these ribbons, Vash starting to say, "What if I hurt you? What if you..?" Wolfwood responds, "You? How could you hurt me?" Vash, "You know what I mean... You see it everyday..." Wolfwood responds, "If you think I'm going to kick the bucket so easily, I suggest you look at me more closely from now on, idiot. I'm not that easy to get rid of."
The next page has the ribbon criss cross over the top of the page. Vash and Wolfwood can be seen in their dancing position again, Wolfwood now resting a hand on Vash's shoulder, as Vash takes the lead. Vash continues, "Well, I know that... I tried." Wolfwood responds, "But you won't anymore... since you want me... around, yeah?" Wolfwood's head cocks to the side, smiling with assurance, cheeks flushed. Vash looks at him with a wide smile and fond, loving eyes. The confetti flows across the bottom of this page and as it eases into the next page, it starts to disappear.
Vash responds, ".. Yeah... I do..." as he pulls Wolfwood into a hug again. Wolfwood says, "Not going to run away anymore, are you?" Vash says, "No... I trust you." A panel shows Wolfwood's turning away slightly with a shy expression, muttering "Geez..."
In a more simplified style, Wolfwood is seen gripping Vash's cheeks now with his hand, "Though... You do remember you avoided me for two weeks straight, right? How are you going to make that up to me?" Wolfwood asks. Vash responds with eyes closed and a pucker of his lips. A vein of irritation appears on Wolfwood's face. Wolfwood starts to squeeze at Vash's cheek with both hands, shouting, "Now that you've recovered, you're trying to be funny, huh?!" Vash says through the squished cheeks, "I'm just happy..."
The next page opens with a closed up panel of Vash's widen eye as Wolfwood's hand moves from squishing his cheeks to gently holding them and Wolfwood leans in. The inner thoughts starts again, "There's a chance I'm not making the right choice... My dreams, my fears of losing you, it will never go away. But you said you won't let it happen... And I want to hang onto your words closely this time. After all, if it's anyone who can make me believe, it's you." The white ribbon from previous pages flows across the page and it visibly ends at the bottom of the page, enclosing the two of them as they share a gentle kiss with Vash holding Wolfwood's face, a tear in his eye.
The next pages starts with Wolfwood saying, "You cryin' again?" Vash responds, "I'm just grateful..." Wolfwood responds, "But you've always had me." Vash responds, "Being like this is different from staring at you from behind all the time though..." The two can be seen together again, Wolfwood pressing his elbows against the table with Vash leaning over him. Wolfwood is easing the tears out of Vash's eye again, just like earlier. A close panel of Vash's fond expression is seen as he says, "Thank you, Wolfwood." Wolfwood looks up at him with a small smile, gentle eyes. Confetti starts to flow lightly across the page as text starts to appear against the white background, "I'm the one who's grateful...
That you'd embrace someone like me, when I'm not fit to hold you in the first place... But I know better than to hesitate. The moment I acknowledged it, I knew I'd spend the rest of my life loving you. So, have as much of me as you want, Vash."
The final page shows the confetti gently falling down the page and at the bottom shows Vash and Wolfwood pressing their foreheads together, Wolfwood's hands cupping the side of Vash's face gently, and both of them smiling brightly with each other. ID END]
#vashwood#trigun#trigun maximum#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#its done.... after 2 months.... collapses on the ground#theres a lot of things i would prob change about this but. its so sappy that it makes me a little happy where it ended up#they deserve a little sap too!!! and in the end this is the closest they could get to a first confession#through want! want in each other's life and company since they both have this strained relationship with keeping people permanent in their#lives... and the people or things that are tied to them in the long term tend to be something that harms them.#and as the saying goes -- good things never last! and im sure they prob gave up trying to find a good thing for a long time#vash managed to be found after the moon accident and got his good thing for a bit but even he prob knew itd come to an end eventually#ironically it was wolfwood that ended it. but he really just planted smth new for vash... and now they have some security#or at least vash does. or at least just for this one moment#a moment of bliss and feeling like they are deserving of love is so Fluctuating for vashwood#and ultimately i think wolfwood could only push onwards to initiate because he sensed there was smth vash wanted. and its just#naturally in wolfwood to give to those that he love#but anyway anyway.... i like to think in a sweet universe -- they had the chance to confess like this and got a little bit of time to#enjoy and share their company in this manner. to be a little less restrained and love each other freely#ruporas art
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
hey, sims team, i think $370 is a bit too low for these icons....
#ts4#ts4 gameplay#sims 4 gameplay#sim: farrah nouvel#im obssesed w her kitchen. i didnt need to include it but i did so look enjoy and appreciate#farrah go back to taking furry art commissions. furry community would not low ball you like this. know your worth bae 🫶🏽#the sims studio is a huge company. people get paid more for brand deals 😞#she’s literally a teenage girl in her early 20s sims team really took advantage of her…#i missed this reshade so bad. thought about going back to it for plc posts but it just doesn’t hit the same in sulani#queue#scenario: new in town
176 notes
·
View notes
Note
Are your future bad kids like. Living in one house together or is the friendship more casual wrt to work and stuff?
oh absolutely not they mostly have their own spaces! fabian is flying around in the seacaster mansion, adaine has an apartment around the area riz's detective office is, kristen is still based in elmville so she can keep an eye out for her siblings. fig gorgug and riz technically share a house but fig moves between like five different addresses whenever she feels like it and riz spends about equal time at his offices and at everyone's places. the thing is I don't think the adventurer circles are that big? and when you grow up with that you eventually keep running into the same people. and also the bad kids still definitely spend every single holiday together regardless of what any of them individually has going on
#not art#I think like. once 4/6 of you are in the same family tree by choice ''casual friendship'' is kinda out the window lmao#like these people are ride or die regardless of their level of daily interaction. the nature of adulthood is unless you live in#the same house you may go days or weeks without seeing each others just because you're all busy. but you're each others' summonable#it helps that theyre all like close to top of their fields already in canon lmao#so much of being a grown up is actually just like. oh my friend is really good at this I'll ask them. oh my friend who's good at this would#LOVE to get in on this. the world is full of brands of kettle chips started by some guys on the same couch#I think the thing is just friendship is often nice and comforting to experience yknow? like doing things together is fun talking is fun#alien ass sentence lmao but its true. and like. idk I don't see the bad kids not enjoying each others' company any time soon#honestly I fully see them in their 40s posting coupon qr codes in the group chat like ''you guys wouldnt fucking BELIEVE the deal Im gettin#you wish you were me. bitch. anyone wants kale''
38 notes
·
View notes
Note
i would just like to inform you that tango has put his entire plans for something new in the dungeon to watch etho do a run. tangtho girlies win these
Hehe of course! "If Etho was gonna run it then we can put all this on hold." I mean everyone's runs always come first to working on it but Etho's are the pure pure joy. Tango's smileeee when Etho says in chat he is here just to play it 🥹🥰
Of course Tango's hoping Etho's there just to hang and of course he'd drop everything for him. "Can't pass up Etho runs."
And of course that's all Etho came for! To play it on its first day back (and ask after T's vacation) 😊
And we especially win when Etho says things like, "Tango. You're never allowed to leave again!" with so much emotion 😂 And when Tango says things like, "I apologise for my inability to stop smiling" 🤗 Etho (Etho/Tango) runs are cheeks-hurting, perma-smile for everyone but especially for Tango xD
And Etho loves it he loves playing with Tango there. He loves the runs and he loves the back and forth with Tango and giggling at what Tango says. And he gives compliments to Tango (this time, "I gotta say, I'm really impressed with your card system in this game"). And always always tells Tango that it was so much fun 🩷
We do win these!! We win sooo much rn 😂 They're such a joy :') The amount of Etho Tango stream time at the moment is 💫✨🌟💖😊
#etho in the dungeon is truly the match made in heaven#and the dungeon loves him too really. it's just playing with him :')#and the whole thing /was/ basically designed with /etho/ in mind#like remember ''I spent many hours thinking about /you/ saying those exact words''#in a jev stream like back in february when etho jev cub scar all just went to hang out with tango and talk about the game#etho playing this makes him the happiest#tango tek#tangotek#ethoslab#etho#tangtho#decked out 2#hermitcraft#hermitshipping#asks#im sorry they're just like...on perfect level of intellectual par with each other /and/ just enjoying each other's company so so so much#they're. so. fun.#''there he is c:''
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Found this on IG this morning..
Seems like the more popular SSO gets, the more greedy they become.. ):
*Included a reddit link
#which is every buisness these days#but i was really hopeful about the sweet looking horsey game that seemed to give us so much#now theyre taking away something so many look forward to each week#some players are just being immediately robbed of ever having that chance to enjoy the free sc#im kinda sad about it now#i guess i had my hopes too high with sso not being like the rest of these gaming companies#but everyday they like to prove me wrong#🙃#sso#star stable#star stable online#ssoblr#star stable screenshots#starstable#horse game#starstableonline
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think bugsnax is the one fandom where i cannot give a shit about any ship except the canon ones but like queerplatonic wiggle/gramble is so real to me . in my heart. they're both aroace but so so affection starved and kind of idiots about it so they mistake it for romance Do you see my vision
#🐠.txt#bugsnax#i was rambling abt this with my qpp the other day and its on my mind again#i know its probably meant to be read as romantic between them by the end but i don't CARE!!!!!!!#its 3am and articulating thoughts Hard but like#wiggle probably isnt really close with most ppl. most attention/love she gets is in an extremely disconnected celebrity kind of way#but gramble likes her!!! he just enjoys her company no matter what kinda stuff she makes#and shes not used to that and mistakes it for romance#similar with gramble except he has like. full on neglect trauma#hes Desperate to have someone he can trust to be close to#anyway im done i prommy#<- actually ill probably add on later#like i said its 3am as of typingthis
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m sorry but why am I always the one who has to make the plans when it comes to hanging out with friends? Not to sound like a bitch but I’m literally the only one who makes any effort to reach out and plan something with my friends and lately it’s been kinda draining and lonely. Why am I always the one who has to put in the effort? Why am I the one who has to suggest that we hang out? Like I’m always the one who texts first and asks to see them and it’s never the other way around, ever. If I don’t ask for us to hang out then we don’t hang out.
I know I’m nobody’s first choice, but is it too much to ask to be a choice at all?
#it doesn’t help that my long distance friend stopped talking to me altogether bc he got a girlfriend#and therefor doesn’t need me to talk to anymore#and when I tried to plan for my friends to come over for thanksgiving they just. didn’t really cooperate???#like they said ‘yeah you can come over’ and I said ‘well I kinda meant for you guys to come to my house’ and the conversation ended there#I love my friends but I’m sick of being the only one putting in any effort#I’m so lonely all the time I just want one person who actually enjoys my company and wants me around#maybe im just being dramatic#idk I just want. to feel loved..in any way#vent#lady luxo rambles
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡
#IM TRYINGGGGG. the fuck of it all is that we've been going on dates on and off for WEEKS now#and i said to him at the start im not looking for anything serious and there's a chance he might be mugging himself off#bc i am just NOT emotionally available and low and behold we were at the pub the other night and wound up having a pretty#serious talk about how ive really liked getting closer to him and i genuinely enjoy our time together but i just cant see anything#serious coming of it NOT BC OF HIM BC GENUINELY I FEEL LIKE IVE MET MY MATCH WITH THIS BOY#NO ONE IRL CAN BANTER WITH ME LIKE HE CAN AND THAT IS SUCHHH A CRUCIAL BOX TO TICK WITH ME#but i just dont think im mentally or emotionally in the place for a relationship and i dont like him ENOUGH to fight for it#like it's been v illuminating v much that 'you never realise just how mentally ill you are until you try persuing a romantic relationship'#bc DAMN. i feel insane like why cant i just be normal about things and enjoy nice things and people in my life#BUT despite me saying all this to him and TRYING NOT TO BE THE ASSHOLE he has fully admitted that he likes me SO MUCH#that he'd like to keep going on dates and stuff regardless of the end result. like he genuinely just likes my company#and will take it in any capacity he can get he literally SAID that he's whipped for me 😭#and im like HOW DO I WIN HERE. IF I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT IM AN ASSHOLE BUT CUTTING HIM OFF ISNT FAIR EITHER#AND I LIKE OUR LITTLE DATES AND BEING SPOILED AND HAVING SOMEONE BE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH ME#SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME A BAD GUY. GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING#ughhhhhhh. so yeah we're going on another date tonight. shoot me i dont care!!!!#hella goes to uni
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
honest to god i think i was born to be some kind of dominatrix i have it in me i think... because why did one of my acquaintances yesterday ask for my number bc his friend asked him about me several times and he was like that woman is an enigma. anyway i could name him handsome guy bc thats how i refer to him with my friends but i said "i told that guy (that asked abt me) he looks like vuk mob? ive been nothing but rude. is this how im supposed to act and people will flock to me?" and he was like "yeah i think so bc u keep making fun of me in a very funny way and you make me laugh and i already have a pet name for you" and i was like damn im not aries venus i cant do this and after giving him my number i was like "nvm. delete my number now. i am a bad person and u dont want ur friend to suffer" and he just laughed at me
#me saying acquaintances bc i dont consider none of them my friend bc im insane but ik all of them consider me their friend sorry for being#like this. he is GORGEOUS by the way like i showed him to my mom and she was like Oh hes a model? And do you KNOW how handsome of a man u#gotta be to be called a model? but i dont know hes such a pathetic entity to me which i adore little wet kitten to me. 193cm tall kitten#but yeah he is fun i enjoy his company i think he at least. at least has adhd. and i really hope he deletes my number i dont need this in m#life i will just ghost him which is terrible dont put me in that position yk i told him that#if u read this well consider it T(eo)MI of the day i guess#tt
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
finished the wicked king today!!
will be taking a small gap between it and the queen of nothing but my non spoiler thoughts are i enjoyed it and that i keep forgetting cardan is not blonde (idk why i just find and replace his hair colour every time it's mentioned - i know he has dark hair he just gives me blonde vibes idk)
spoilery thoughts under the cut:
kay the sex scene was not what id expected (i have an irl who mentioned to me that there was a sex scene in the book but i thought it was going to be more graphic because of her)
so glad it was fade to black though because the moment the TAIL was mentioned i could not take it seriously
the wedding into the big twist at the end was my favourite part though like it really brought this book up in my ranking because even though i wasn't hugely surprised at cardan betrayal i thought it was executed really well
anyway read the notes if you want for nonsensical ramblings lmao
#bookblr#bookish#the cruel prince#holly black#the folk of the air#the wicked king#the wicked king spoilers#hopefully ive tagged everything properly#it was a 3 stars but a very good 3 stars#like i very much enjoyed it#but this series just doesnt really hit in the same way an all time favourite would#it's not a bad thing#i dont mind not loving everything i read#the audiobooks are very good company for playing spiritfarer if you want my opinion#caitlin kelly really does these books justice#im not sure id enjoy them as much if she wasnt narrating them#also cardan is blonde pass it on#i know im wrong but i dont care#hes the blondest brunette ever#also i will be reading the last book soonish but ive got rebecca ross to read sorry not sorry
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.
Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!
Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...
I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm
Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.
Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.
“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.
She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store.
Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore.
“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.
It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”
She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath.
Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.
She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.
Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her.
So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death.
“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno.
“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying.
At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”
Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.
“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”
The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.
But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.
Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well?
At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe.
“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”
#milgram#mahiru shiina#yuno kashiki#amane and fuuta mentioned#i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂#oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk#i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that#anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0#drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result#i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together#the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices#im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd#i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything --#i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared#but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off#not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky#i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person...#i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon#and *shes* the odd one out for craving company#then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else#i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...?#AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃#*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit*#drabbles
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys this "keeping myself busy with distractions so I don't get sad" thing isn't working
#my mom is basically scrubbing the house of all traces of her bc thats how she copes. thats what she did when dad died#like two days later she was cleaning out all his medical equipment and stuff#i guess thats a way of dealing with it :( just doesnt really work for me because it makes me feel their absence even harder#like for me i personally wanted to keep Dad's stuff around for a while because. idk i guess it just felt like he was still kind of there#in a way. i guess. i dunno#obviously losing a pet is easier to deal with than losing a parent but it still blows dude i hate this#(* a parent that you had a good relationship with. i know that im very fortunate in that regard. not everyone had that and i need to count#my blessings)#idk this feels harder than losing my childhood dog because jojo was basically my constant companion for the past several years#after dad died i got suicidally depressed and didnt leave the house and was unemployed for a good chunk of time and she kept me company#taking her for walks and hikes was the only thing i enjoyed doing and the only thing that got me out of the house. she was always there#(also there's probably some psychological component to the fact that we adopted her specifically to be a companion for dad#when he was wheelchair-bound and couldnt go anywhere. so she kept him company. and then after he died she did the same for me#so. idk. like.... i feel like theres something there lol)#mia.txt#animal death
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
im not sure how to parse this exactly (probably since the thought hasn't marianted fully yet) but i wonder if the tone of veilguard's writing is less about appealing to a younger audience and more of a response to falling media literacy rates
kind of thinking out loud here but like.
i'm recalling the girl on booktok who proudly annouced that she only reads the spoken dialogue in her books, not the narration & the people in her comments laughing and agreeing (no wonder they can 'read' so many books per year, they're only reading 25% of the words). or 'starting to think some of you don't like media or characters, just fanfiction tropes.' you can hand someone like that a complex narrative, but what are they going to do with it aside from completely & happily misunderstand things that are very obvious context clues & themes? we can joke about the fandom mischaracterizing our blorbos & trying to be cool about just scrolling past but idk, personally i feel like i've seen an uptick in completely off-base takes in the last few years (probably some fandom bias there but this isn't my first time playing dragon age or narrative driven games in general so i don't think i'm entirely wrong)
it doesn't help that this group also loves to be loud online & the bioware devs (to their ongoing detriment) seem to be unable to distance themselves from fandom. we saw larian's response to this type of outcry, i wonder if bioware is just trying to get ahead of the curve. they make some questionable decisions, but they aren't stupid & i don't think people like that are especially hard to market to from their standpoint.
i don't think that older titles like dao are perfect or anything but i sincerely doubt that large swaths of current audiences would 'get' it. like, there IS a lot of narrative hand-holding in this game & i'm not talking about things like the map markers or accessibility features. 'do the companion quests!' you get told multiple times, more or less outright, & i'm still seeing people confused about getting 'bad' endings despite ignoring this incredibly obvious series of hints. there's a fair amount of information to be found in the codexes, but are people going to read them? we don't know, so we're going to repeat the relevant item name several times over on the off chance you might end up remembering it. like yes this is some people's first foray into rpgs, but you would think that progressing the story would be intuitive (especially given the structure & the journal itself).
the 'the curtains were blue!!!' crowd is unfortunately a very large audience these days, ea is a corporation who wants to make money & they do need that if they intend to keep making games. it might not even be intentional, it truly could just be the result of following market trends.
don't take this as me making excuses for bioware or anything, but there's definitely some sort of reason we ended up the way we did. i see the scaffolding of something interesting here with a lot of potential to be better than what the final product was, a lot of hooks we could have spent more time chasing & that leads to me wondering just what the hell happened.
#some of the writing was always going to be a bit goofy & cheesy thats just the nature of dragon age lmao#its the glimpses that make me the most curious though#& while i had fun and ultimately enjoyed the game more than not i think that examining outside factors is weirdly more rewarding to me rn#than the game itself fdghjkk#good writing DOES still exist there are very much projects that arent concerned with the 'how are you say we piss on the poor' consumer#but at the end of the day money talks and i dont think alienating that customer base via expecting more than a 9th grade level of#critical thought is the approach the average AAA company wants to take#i think that the writers honestly did on at least SOME level care abt this project but we'll never get to see the drafts and the cut parts#someone break their nda im going insane over here#anyway im just assuming things fgfhj pondering#oh uh i should probably tag#veilguard spoilers#to be polite yk#i know the blue curtains werent malicious at the time & op was probably just frustrated in their hs english class but i really wish that#it didnt catch on Like That. because man. Man.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like deep down I’m still that little girl who never really grew out of her childhood because it got taken away from her
#idk what i’m saying anymore#im a teen now but I still feel like a child at times#I think that’s why I enjoy things considered childish#kinda to like makeup for all the lost time in my childhood#also something something about how#me being with him heals my inner child#I know I’m not that old but like#considering all the shit everyone’s put me thru#something#but he makes me feel like I’m being payed attention to#he makes me feel like I matter and cared for#I’ve never had anyone have interest in me like that#knowing that he likes my company and like#just me in general makes me really happy#little kid Sophia is really happy that I’m dating such an amazing boy
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think the thing really getting people w/ whb right now is i dont think the way its operating as a gacha is any less predatory than any other company considering the way gachas operate overall is to prey on its users' wallets and susceptibility to gambling (bc its just how we are as people we like nice things and the thrill of finally lucking out and winning big its no ones fault) but what feels so unique is the speed at which its become like. it feels as though it wants to survive off whales already and the game is only 3 months old. they dont have a big enough player base for this.
it was barely a month after release that the solomon seals were introduced and that's pay only. if you're not paying money you can't roll on these banners (unless they give out freebies which typically amount to what 4-5 pulls? and even then to get to pity would be expensive even if you are paying its just nasty) which i figured was w/e if the same units were going to be added to the regular pool later but with michael and raphael theres just no chance and if you're not willing to pay $46 (i think even whales would balk at this) theres no chance at you getting gabriel either. its just such an odd way to operate to me.
#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#im not very eloquent but just my two cents#id like not to drop it bc i enjoy it but like :/ it sucks out here!#like these r the types of things thst companies start doing with gachas like. a year or two post release not immediately#like theyre killing the game before its even really off the ground yknow#i have some other thoughts too but not as relevant to the situation#like the gacha rates feel kinda trash to me also but thats probably me and my bad luck#(for the l units i mean)#and also the difficulty is wild for 4 chapters with how limited some resources are#and id like to transfer accts but ive heard its not easy to implement that or rly possible but also no one will say why.#im guessing its got smthn to do with google#bitch ass corporation#but anyways#yeah
11 notes
·
View notes