#idk I just want. to feel loved..in any way

[erinwantstowrite]

Wait did Loki already know about Dick and Jason and all that because he did research /before/ Peter got sent there on not just he was there without telling Peter? And that's why he ended up in that universe specifically cuz he had family there? Or I did I misread something?

oh no Loki is fully lying out of his ass right now. but really he's not lying, it's more like he's not telling the full truth ? idk how much I can really tell you guys cuz I don't want to spoil it... alright, so i can't tell y'all what he was doing specifically but i can tell y'all his general plan and some character insight

i'm feeling in a slightly spoilery mood so!!! if you don't want to know anything about what Loki is up to, don't continue reading! but be aware that at this point in time, there are some things that we just won't know about Loki in the fic itself that i'll talk about here!

before all of this he had absolutely no intentions of teaming up with Peter, he was just exploiting a weakness and trying to get Peter out of the way (this is the same as to what he did with Thor). he knows that Tony would be distracted, and in their efforts to find Peter they would probably be stressed out and their forces would thin because finding usually involves splitting up. they would also have to deal with Mysterio and Ohnn (....and a secret third character 👀). it would give him plenty of opportunity to go in and try and pick them off one by one. except it's not working on the Avengers side. we'll get more to this later 😁

after his first meeting with Peter, Loki figured that Peter would probably be a good place to get some intel if he needed it, because Peter trusted him and was not aware about Loki and his past with the Avengers (or at least not fully aware). the more that he learned about the Bats and Peter's relation to them, as well as learning about Peter, the more he figured it wouldn't hurt to have Peter on his side. he thought that he could twist Peter into believing the Avengers weren't coming. his plans have been shifting around, meeting his needs since the beginning. he's been standing off to the side and pushing the characters around trying to figure out what they will and won't do, like he's observing a game and they have no idea he's moving pieces around when they weren't looking.

however this plan was going to take a lot more time... and Klarion summoning Thor ruined it completely. he had to speed up the process and make his offer quite literally months before he thought he would. so in a way, we can thank Klarion for derailing Loki's plot

Loki had no idea what would happen when he directed Ohnn and Mysterio towards Peter. he knew that Ohnn had been traveling between worlds for a couple of months, but he had no idea if Peter would even survive going to this other universe. he also had no idea about Peter's relation to the Bats until he started digging around for his new plan (Plan: Exploit Peter's Love for his Parents). the thing is, is that his plan would have failed no matter what, because Loki failed to see that Peter's adopted family cares deeply about him, and this bond means just as much as any blood ties he could have. his own insecurities about his standing within his own family got to him. when he was digging around in Peter's life he saw that Peter's foster experience had failed. and he might, maybe, just a little bit... feel bad that the family that was going to adopt Peter were killed because of what happened in the Battle of New York.

so: while he has been very intentionally manipulating Peter... he was thinking of Peter's best interest after a certain point. instead of him not caring what happened to him as long as he was out of the way, Loki did start preparing to make sure that Peter could stay in this world and that he would be taken care of. because i don't believe Loki is an evil person, and even now he's just a little silly. he might have been a little bit crazy with Thor, but to be fair, every other time Loki had a plan and he wasn't crazy enough, Thor came out of it. I feel like they have different standards than what we would as humans. because if you have a sibling then I feel like you'll understand me here... me and my brother used to fight a lot and while we never actually chased each other with knives, we did chase each other with other weapons (whatever wouldn't actually kill but was within our reach) and I think this is their version of that. like me and my brother are super close now but when we were kids we tried to kill each other a lot lmfao. so Thor will probably forgive Loki because that's his brother. (and I'm pretty sure that Loki was under some form of manipulation by Thanos during the Battle of Manhattan/New York??? correct me if I'm wrong, but if that's the case Peter would eventually see that Loki isn't an evil person.) Loki is very chaotic neutral in my eyes, leaning towards evil or good depending on the day. so he's gonna get his ass kicked for trying to take over the world, but like, that's just his enrichment... you gotta let him try every few months/once a year or you're not doing enough to entertain and care for your sneaky God Alien Guy

[aboutchriss]

walk with me

Pairing: idol!BangChan x fem! reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: chan being a cutie patootie with berry, reader is 22

Author notes: idk, okay?. i'm bored trying to avoid my relatives that are here for the chirstams holidays...please save me...i wrote this to...escape from this house, i hope you appreciate it. i'll probably do a part 2, it's 2:30 a.m here so yeah, and of course it's not proof read! (i'll read it tomorrow) oh and wear sunscreen my kids!!

💌

remember! english it's not my first language, please be gentle with me! let me know if there's any mistastake

💌

requests are open, especially on Christmas!

It's the perfect day in Sydney; the temperature is on point—not too cold, not too hot. It's the right temperature to wear a sundress and a little jumper that you probably won't use because you want to tan before the holidays, even if you want to tan though, you put sunscreen on and lay down on a beach towel in a public park, the grass is green and you can hear kids screaming and laughing while they're playing with a grasshopper and insects, you have a book inside your purse, and cold tea, it's a daydream.

As you lay on the grass, something warm and wet touches your cheek—once, twice. When you open your eyes, you find a small, maybe a little fat dog with a smile on it's face (yes, dogs can smile). You sit down, looking around to find the dog's owner, and there he is the most beautiful, gorgeous man you have ever seen in your entire existence, is it possible? Are you having a heat stroke? He has dark brown curls, the kind of curls you can touch until you fall asleep, he's trying to hide a smile but you can see dimples on his cheeks, he has broad shoulders and big hands, and he looks like a damn Disney prince, are you daydreaming? What the fuck it's happening? "I am so sorry miss" He says in a muffled laugh

did he just called me miss, how old is he? 44? no, that's not possible, he's too beautiful to be this old

"oh, no worries -you giggle- i don't mind kisses from a gorgeous dog like her? are you a she or a he mh?" you say, now talking to the dog that is laying comortably on your lap

"oh uhm, she is right, her name it's berry" he says touching his ear

"Berry huh? what a pretty name" you rub her hear

"well i guess she's comfy there, 'm sorry, she's old and when she lays down somewhere well...umh - he touches the nape of his neck- she stays there for a while" he says looking right into your eyes

"oh, no worries...if you're free we can wait till she gets up" you say patting the place next to you on the beach towel

he smiles and you can finally see his dimples, and boom we're so fucked up y/n.

"your mom didn't teach you to not talk to strangers? i might be a serial killer" he says sitting down next to you

"what about your mom? -you echo- maybe i'm the serial killer" you smile at him

"touchè" he laughs

"i'm Christopher by the way, you can call me Chris or Chan" he says offering his hand

a veiny and big hand

"i'm y/n - you grab his hand and shake it- nice to meet you Christopher" he laughs

"are you from Sydney?" he asks caressing Berry that is still sleeping on your lap

"oh no, i work here, nothing more, what about you?" you say

"I was born and raised here, but i work in Korea, i'm here for the christmas holidays" he explains (not that you can hear something since your too focused on his thick lips, thanks god you're wearing sunglasses)

"Korea mh? and what do you do? CEO in a company? Actor? or you cook kimchi for stray cats?" you ask caressing Berry

he laughs and it feels like the sun just exploded

"I- uh- i'm an idol, nothing special" he shrugs

"an idol?" you echo

"mhmm, i have a group and we sing and dance and stuff like that" he says smiling

oh this dude really loves his job

"stuff like that mh? and are you famous?" you ask caressing Berry's head

"what about you? what do you do?" he asks

"uuuh, you're avoiding the question...is that a yes? you're famous! -you giggle" you say

"shhhh, i'm not, i promise i'm not that famous" he says

"oh...okay..." you look at him trying to see his eyes through his sun glasses

"so...what do you do?" he asks again, caressing Berry's head

"i-uh i work in a library, i own it actually...it's not interesting" you say

"so you read a lot?" he asks

"i do, actually" you say smiling

"and what's your favorite genre?" he asks caressing Berry's body, his fingers brushing against your thigh

"i-do you want the real answer or?" you giggle

"of course i do!"

"smut"

"smut?" he echos

"yes, porn in books, smut, call it how you prefer" you say shrugging

"interesting" he nods

"do you want to grab a coffee with me?" he suddenly asks

"mh? you want to grab a coffee with me?" you ask

"yeah, with you and well berry, even if she might be the third wheel" he giggles

"okay"

"you don't have to if you don't want to, i just asked because you're really cute and yeah i want to know you better" he spits out in one breath

"Christopher i said okay, let's go. I need to know more about your job and i won't leave Berry 'till you make me listen one of your songs, but before we go can i put sunscreen on your face? you burnt your nose" you try not to laugh

"oh? really?" he touches his nose

"mhmm -you nod- may i?" you asked

"sure, go on" he says lifting up his sunglasses

"tell me if i hurt you okay?" you say as you squeeze sunscreen on the tips of your fingers, putting it on his nose in the most delicate way possible

"you're kind you know?"

"i know" you smile

"i feel like a kid...wait i -he grab your hands gently- how old are you?" he asks

"old enough Christopher, don't worry" you smile

"i'm serious how old are you?" he asks

"i'm 22, and you?"

"i'm 27" he sighs and let go of your hands

"damn, what a sigh" you giggle

"i feel like a grandpa" he says

"you're not a grandpa Christopher, not with this body"

"oh-...thanks" he says is it the sun or is he blushing?

"okay, let's go, and by the way, you can't threat me with my dog" he says, getting up, grabbing berry from your lap and offering his hand to you

"what a gentleman! and that wasn't a threat, i just want to...listen to what you do okay?" you say grabbing his hand to get up and fuck he's also tall, and bigger than you expected

"of course i'm a gentleman. and yes, she's my baby, i would do anything for her, even embarassing my self in front of the most beautiful woman in this park with my songs" he says looking at you

"oh-" he giggles

is he flirting?

"come on, i know a good place for a coffee and maybe lunch?" he asks

"i'm right behind you" yeah right behind you staring at your fifty pounds of ass

"you know that my eyes are up here right?" fuck

"no, yeah i know, i was looking for my...purse...yeah my purse"

"liar" he says laughing and you push his back

"shut the fuck up, you've been staring at my boobs the whole time!" you say and he turns around to look at you

"i-did not- okay maybe a little okay? wait...you can see my eyes through the sunglasses" he asks looking down at you

"i do...you can see mine?" you ask

"i do"

"good than we're both idiots"

"maybe a little" he giggles

"come on, let's go we have a 10 minutes walk and berry is heavy"

"ugh, big arms for nothing" you mumble

"i could pick you up with one hand and throw you around if i wanted too" he says walking straight, he and his stupid fucking aura

"damn okay, sorry"

-

ten minutes later you're at the cafe, it's cute and cozy and the sandwiches on display looks yummy, and the man in front of you looks yummy; he took off his sunglasses now and you can finally see his eyes in a decent light, simply brown boba eyes, and you can clearly tell that he is a good man just by looking at his eyes. his eyes are also eating you alive, but again this is another story.

[thewindigo]

maybe okarun x fem reader or momo?

idk like he wants to pleasure reader/momo and sucks her tits and gets all flustered

first time, fluff, sleeping together :,)

‘Blushing Kisses’

sum. losing your virginity to the boy you love is a dream come true, could you ask for anything better?

warnings. 18+ NSFW MDNI. aged up characters. virgin!ken ‘okarun’ takakura x virgin!fem! reader, porn w/ a little plot, tit sucking (fem! rec), reader guides ken, praising, fluff(?), creampie.

wc. 1.7k

notes. so I got this request and it literally had me in a chokehold and boom now I have a whole book.. I hope you like it anon!

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

you gazed up at okarun, your cheeks flushed with a mix of excitement and nerves. this was it – your first time together, and you couldn't imagine sharing it with anyone else. his warm, coffee-colored eyes locked onto yours, mirroring the shyness you felt.

"can I...?" he whispered, his voice barely audible.

you nodded, your heart skipping a beat. his hands trembled slightly as he reached for the hem of your shirt. slowly, he lifted it over your head, revealing your soft skin. his breath hitched at the sight.

"y-you're so... pretty," he stammered, his face reddening.

you felt his fingers trace along the line of your bra, his touch electric. he gazed up at you, cheeks burning crimson.

"c-can I take it off?..." he trailed off, eyes flicking to the clasp between your shoulders.

you chuckled softly, seeing how flustered he'd become. "y-yes, please."

okarun nodded, hands shaking slightly as he unhooked your bra. the delicate click echoed in the quiet room, the cool air kissing your exposed skin. his eyes widened, and his blush deepened even further. he let out the breath he was holding, the raw emotion in his gaze made your heart ache for him.

you smiled, feeling a flutter in your chest. "I want you to... make me feel good," you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

okarun's eyes widened, his pupils dilating with lust. he nodded, his adam's apple bobbing with a nervous swallow.

"w-will you allow me to properly make love to you?" he stammered out, his voice barely there as he reached out tentatively.

unable to resist his adorable fidgeting, you gave him consent with a nod and a small laugh. your own hands came up to cradle his head, inviting him closer.

he shifted position, gaze dropping to your chest before meeting your eyes again, seeking reassurance. as he leaned in, you felt his hot breath against your skin, sending shivers through you.

okarun's lips pressed a feather-light kiss to your cleavage, then began to trail his tongue along the curve of your breast. he tasted you hesitantly at first, building confidence as he went. finally, he enclosed one of your sensitive buds between his lips, gazing up at you with wide, innocent eyes.

your fingers tangled in his thick black curls as his warm, wet tongue swirled around your sensitive peak. a small gasp escaped your lips, emboldening him.

"so beautiful..." he murmured against your flesh, his voice low and husky.

you could feel him growing more confident, his shy demeanor giving way to the passion simmering within.

his hands found their place on your back, holding you steady while his mouth moved lower, trailing open-mouthed kisses over your chest.

"ken..." you called out, your own timid voice mingling with the sound of his hungry kisses.

he paused, looking up at you through those dark lashes, eyes gleaming with desire yet still tinged with uncertainty. he seemed to ask for permission with just his gaze.

unable to resist any longer, you guided his head back down, wordlessly urging him on. his lips sealed around you again with a renewed fervor, lavishing your skin with hot, wet strokes of his tongue.

with each pass, he grew more daring, flicking and sucking with abandon until you arched into his mouth with a shuddering sigh. you could feel the slick heat of his breath enveloping you completely.

okarun gazed up at you through half-lidded eyes, his cheeks flushed, lips glistening. he released you momentarily, just enough to whisper,

"may I... may I use my hands too?" he looked up at you so innocently, as if asking permission to explore you further.

your heart pounded wildly at his question, anticipation coursing through your veins. "yes," you managed to breathe out, your voice barely audible over the rushing blood in your ears.

at your consent, okarun's hands joined in, cradling and shaping you gently as his mouth continued to work its magic. you felt overwhelmed by the sensation of his rough palms against your sensitive flesh, his wet kisses driving you closer to the edge.

he lifted his gaze, seeking yours again, seeking understanding – or maybe just reassurance. In response, you pulled him upward, needing him closer still.

your fingers threaded through okarun's hair as he knelt before you, his own eyes fixed on you with an earnest longing. hesitantly, he began to unfasten his pants, his voice barely audible over the sound of his trembling hands.

"can I... can I take off your shorts too?" he asked, seeking your consent with those big brown eyes that shone with emotion.

you nodded, heart skipping a beat as you granted him permission. his face lit up, a small smile playing on his lips. carefully, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, taking your panties with it and slowly peeling them away from your skin.

once they were off, he gazed at you with newfound wonder, his hands tracing the curve of your hips and thighs. the cool air kissed your most intimate places, but okarun's hungry eyes made you feel exposed in the most exhilarating way.

he paused, his fingers teasing along your sensitive folds, causing you to squirm beneath his tender touch. your sweet nectar glistened on his digits, a silent testament to his effect on you.

"you're so beautiful," he murmured, voice hoarse with emotion. with deliberate slowness, he began removing his own final barrier, revealing his desire for you in full.

okarun bit his lip, watching you intently as he held himself steady. "ready..?” he asked timidly, unsure how to proceed without causing discomfort.

seeing your agreement, he began to press forward, stopping whenever you tensed beneath him. your warmth enveloped the tip of him, and he hesitated again.

"Is it too much? should I stop?" he queried with genuine concern, wanting desperately to make you feel good.

as he finally sheathed himself completely within you, okarun let out a small, shuddering gasp. his face burned crimson, overwhelmed by the sensation of being so intimately connected.

"I-I didn't know it would feel like this," he stammered, his eyes darting away from yours in bashful wonder. he took a steadying breath, trying to compose himself, but his hips already instinctively rocked against you.

you reached up, cupping his face gently, drawing his gaze back to yours. "you're doing so good ken," you whispered, wanting to put him at ease.

he swallowed hard, nodding slightly, then began to move—slow, deliberate thrusts that sent tingles through both your bodies. his hands gripped the sheets, seeking something to ground himself amidst the newfound ecstasy.

okarun's movements were clumsy and unpracticed, his enthusiasm overpowering his ability to maintain control. he drove into you with an earnestness that bordered on reckless, the bed frame creaking in time with his uneven rhythm. you wrapped legs around him, urging him closer, and he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

"sorry, sorry..." he stuttered between erratic thrusts, clearly a novice at this dance. but despite his lack of finesse, the intensity of his desire was undeniable.

he lifted himself onto his elbows, gaze fixed intently on the point where your bodies joined. entranced by the sight, he continued his fervent but uncoordinated pushes, occasionally slipping out or hitting awkward angles. he persisted, driven by a primal need to connect with you completely. His ragged breaths and muttered apologies only added to the charm of his hapless ardor.

"I-I’m so sorry, I can't seem to..." his voice trailed off as he struggled to find the right motion, frustrated by his own inexperience. you felt a pang of sympathy for him — his honest efforts were endearing.

"shh," you soothed, trailing a hand down his back, "It's okay, just relax." gently, you began guiding his hips, helping him find a more pleasurable rhythm.

with your patient direction, okarun gradually found the right rhythm. he slowed his pace, allowing you to dictate the depth and pace of each thrust. a look of rapt concentration creased his brow as he committed every detail of this newfound intimacy to memory.

your soft murmurs of guidance were his anchor, helping him steer clear of clumsiness and chart a course for mutual delight. each adjustment brought a whispered "thank you" from his lips, gratitude for your teaching and care.

okarun redoubled his efforts, driven by the desire to bring you both the release he craved. his hips snapped against you, angling himself just right to strike that sweet spot within you over and over. one hand clumsily found its place between your thighs, seeking to heighten your sensation even further.

his breath came in ragged gasps, face flushed with exertion and passion. "I-I’m so close" he gasped out, focused solely on granting you both that sweet completion.

you felt it building, the exquisite pressure coiling tighter with each of his deliberate strokes. your fingers dug into his back, wordlessly urging him on. and okarun sensed it too—the tremors beneath him, the catch in your voice as you called his name.

with a final, powerful snap of his hips, he drove you both towards that precipice together. your heart thundered in anticipation, the world narrowing down to just the two of you.

as if in perfect synchrony, the dam burst, sending ripples of euphoria coursing through your bodies in a searing rush. your body arched beneath his, overwhelmed by the force of sensation. okarun buried himself to the hilt, body taut as a bowstring, before finally spilling himself with a guttural groan.

the room rang with the symphony of your cries, mingling with the sound of his passion spent. for a fleeting moment, the two of you floated together in the afterglow.

okarun collapsed atop you, his weight comforting as he pressed soft, lingering kisses against your collarbone. you wrapped your arms around him, fingers trailing lightly over his back, savoring the closeness after such intense connection.

gradually, his kisses became slower, more tender, mirroring the gentle come down. he lifted his head to gaze into your eyes, a look of wonderment crossing his features as if he couldn't believe what had just transpired.

"c-could I stay inside you just a little longer?" okarun rasped, face turning crimson as he nuzzled into your neck. his hips gave an involuntary roll, seeking to prolong the intimate contact.

he settled more comfortably between your legs, his weight a reassuring pressure. you nodded, wrapping yourself around him once more, unwilling to relinquish the closeness. with a contented sigh, he relaxed into you, heads tucked together as one. no more words were needed; this silent understanding was all that mattered as you held each other close.

[hopelesslygaysstuff]

totally get it! that makes perfect sense, thank you for telling me :)

that sounds like a fire fic! i seem to have missed a whole chapter cause this is like the first time i‘ve heard about you writing this fic but apparently you‘ve mentioned lots about it already? 😭 where was my brain when i was going through your blog smh

ohhh how did you like wicked?

sooo i sm kind of having something i‘ve labelled christmas depression and wanted to ask if you maybe could write some headcanons?

wanda has a big family and every christmas they have these big gatherings you always see in movies. since reader is her partner she wants them to tag along. reader is a little reluctant to go, because their family never had these big gatherings, because everyone kind of hated each other. christmas was never something special for them, just a random day like any other, just with sone presents. wanda is determined to get them to like christmas.

reader had always yearned for these dreamy family gatherings at christmas, so their just anxious that they’ll fuck something up or something.

cause this is what happens in my family, and i am fucking YEARNING for one of those big gatherings from christmas movies. just ONCE IN MY LIFE PLS. it’s kinda pathetic but because i don’t have that, i hate christmas movies cause they make me get emotional idk

x🧡 omg this feels like the weirdest ask i’ve ever send. feel totally free to ignore idk

ofc! and LOL yes i've mentioned it a few times but dw i talk about a lot of things on here it's okay that you missed it!! and yeah... hopefully it should be done for you guys but idk how to continue the story to get to the smut part idk i'm losing motivation and creativity

I LOVED wicked omg i cried it was so good and i just love theatre in general so seeing that musical on screen in movie format was really exciting for me

I gotchu, darling.

Wanda is super gentle with you, but not in a condescending way, more of a romantic i-love-you sort of way

She makes you wear a matching sweater with her, yours is dark green and hers is dark red, and she puts peppermint mocha in your coffee with whipped cream on top

Wanda makes sure to include many presents for you, both for your own private celebration, and presents for you to open with her family.

She also ensured that her family members (who you've met many times before, and they absolutely adore you) get you presents

You were very nervous about buying presents for them, not wanting to pick the wrong type of gift, and Wanda helps you, assuring you that her family will love anything you get them

Wanda and you spend the day before the family get together watching Christmas movies and making cookies and sweets to bring over

She holds your hand the entire car ride over, singing along to the Christmas songs on the radio as you begin to relax, your matching red and green nail polish shining

Her family is as wonderful as ever, and you gratefully accept some peppermint schnapps in your hot chocolate as Wanda's mother winks at you and pours some in her own mug

Wanda prefers mimosa's, and her family does a huge toast before lunch to thank everyone for celebrating with them

The meals are delicious, candles lit everywhere and faint Christmas music playing the entire day, and the laughter and conversation never stops

You get overwhelmed a few times, your heart swelling with happiness and a slight longing and sadness that you'd never gotten to experience this before, and Wanda's father hugs you and tells you that you're already part of the family, of course you're going to be welcomed to every celebration

Of course, you cry after that, happy tears of course. Wanda hugs you right after her father lets go, and her mother comes up to rub your back gently (I fear I may also have family issues oopsie)

You can't believe the amount of presents you receive, and you blush at the gratitude her family displays when they open your gifts to them

The day ends with the little ones all put to bed, and the cookies and milk to Santa and carrots for his reindeer all set up by the fireplace. You and Pietro giggle as you take careful bites from the cookies and carrots, and he swallows half the milk before grinning at you with a milk mustache

You sleep over that night in Wanda's childhood bedroom, after watching a Christmas movie with the rest of the adults who were still awake, your heart full as you thank her over and over again

Wanda assures you that you're family, and you'll always have a place in their home for Christmas ♡

[velvetvexations]

Since we're talking about forcefem, here're most of the forcefem-related asks I've had in my inbox, some of which are a few days old on account of technically going in the vexatious tag if not exactly kink asks. I wanted to answer one from today on it's own which I'll get to later but I wanted to get to the older ones and also get to a few of the others from today while I was at it.

i just saw a post where a trans guy was showing some messages where someone was (unconsensually) basically roleplaying forcefemming him. despite him telling them that he did not want that and that it was very much transphobic, and he atill got a message boiling down to "you're not a man, silly, you're a girl :D" and. to be honest. this was the thing that stopped the brainworms of "what if the whole concept of transandrophobia is actually transmisogynistic and i am entirely wrong" bc at least some of these people will just say the most bog standard transphobic shit to trans guys and not register it as transphobia. so why the fuck would they be right about anything transmascs experience also on that note thank you for being so outspoken in favour of transmascs getting to discuss their oppression. it's really helpful to see trans women stand with us here, especially when it comes to aforementioned brainworms

congratulations to that transphobe for creating a new transandrobro

the 'forcemasc isnt revolutionary' shit is the most annoying iteration of stupid tumblr discourse. like im going through the tag trying to read some horny shit and oh look. theres someone being stupid and hypocritical. in my horny tag.

people are getting tribalist about kinks and it's depressing

Every time people are saying that trans men & mascs cannot possibly fathom being objectified & fetishized, I think on all of the posts I’ve seen that did that exact same thing. And yeah, some of it might have been kink, so no hate no judgement I dabble in that tag too, but I’ve also seen “get in the dress” type posts that seem to be genuinely calling for trans men to be more feminine, untagged & in the wild, enough where I’m like — am I just imagining this? Like am I crazy? Am I missing something, or was that extremely detailed post about why I MUST stay feminine — or become more — for someone else’s benefit being 100% serious? And, again — if it’s kink, all the power to them, I love that for them, I even occasionally love that for me. But I have encountered enough people who were dead serious that I sometimes want no one but trusted friends & advisors to ever witness me again. And then I look at statistics & feel genuinely ill. And yeah, I’m gnc — and there’s the rub, because while I feel genuine joy being fem as well as masc, I want it to be a Choice, not something forced upon me.

people need to be fucking normal

Yh like ik a lot of shitposts don't have any tags but people have. Really gotta tag forcefem. I've blocked a large amount of people making these jokes + filtered their names n I still see it

I'm sorry, anon. <3

Fuck thank you so much for talking so openly about forcemasc. I’m so dumb I thought there wasn’t a name for that kink that I’ve been into for years, albeit my version is way more weirder. It would be like a… forcemascfem??? Like first it’s forcemasc and then it turns into forcefem and then right back to forcemasc…. And then back to- Idk my gender is weird and my kinky fantasy for that is weird

Cross as many boundries as you want, that sounds rad. Forcefem has a lot of infrastructure to jump off of.

“I’m doing a kink in a non kink way so it’s not kink blog!” Sorry this pisses me off It’s still a kink. Like. If someone made an I-suggest-BDSM blog and tried to claim it wasn’t a kink blog I’m sure more people would see how silly this is but because it’s the transfem approved virtuous forcefem they just let it slide??? Like. You are engaging in a kink and thats fine. You can say there won’t be anything explicitly sexual! But it will still be a kink blog because it’s a blog about a kink! A kink blog if you will! It doesn’t matter if you’re not getting off to it, it’s still a kink! That you are participating in! On your blog about that kink!

It SHOULD piss you off! It's extremely fucking scummy!

what the hell? for like one solid minute(longer than that but i like saying it this way) all the forcefem on my dash was tagged and i could blissfully not have to see it every other post and then just today i had to unfollow a buncha people for an assload of untagged forcefem :/ like im transmasc i think its understandable that i do not wish to see that anyway hope your day is goin well miss velvet

yeah it's praxis to not tag kink anymore

trfs are perfectly aware what the "force" bit means when forcemasc comes up in conversation

strange how that works

[margeoww]

So like queen idk if u have instagram but like recently the leclercs went to Mexico so can we maybe get smthn REALLL angsty where its like carlos x leclerc reader and she’s not too close to the family. (not on her part mainly charles and arthur) and they go on vacation without telling her and she’s like sad. You can have more ending if u want

💐 anon

a/n: okay, let me know if this is what you wanted. because I understand the point but not too much.

Left Behind

back to my masterlist

pairing: carlos sainz x leclerc!reader

summary: left out of a family vacation, you confront Carlos about the secrecy and the growing distance with your brothers. Tensions rise, but Carlos’ heartfelt apology offers a chance for reconciliation and understanding.

warnings: angst, themes of exclusion and insecurity, emotional confrontation.

The early morning sunlight crept through the curtains of your shared apartment in Mónaco, but the warmth on your face did little to ease the growing heaviness in your chest. You scrolled through Instagram absentmindedly, your feed filled with glimpses of familiar faces. Your brother, Charles and Arthur. Both smiling and laughing under the mexican sun.

Charles had posted a picture of himself sipping on a cocktail by the pool, Arthur had shared a video of their group riding ATVs through the desert, and then there was Carlos—your boyfriend of two years—posing in the same photos, his trademark smile shining brighter than the sun.

And yet, no one had told you about the trip.

Not a single word.

Your throat tightened as you swiped through the posts. You hadn’t even known they were leaving Monaco, let alone heading off to Mexico. What hurt most wasn’t the secrecy — it was the reminder that, despite your efforts, you were still an outsider in your own family.

You’d always known that Charles and Arthur shared a bond you could never quite penetrate. They were close, the kind of brothers who had their own language, their own inside jokes. As their sister, you loved them deeply, but there had always been a sense of distance, a silent barrier that set you apart.

And Carlos… he had fit into their world so seamlessly. You’d seen it from the beginning, the way he joked with Charles like they’d been friends forever, the way Arthur looked up to him. Sometimes it felt like Carlos belonged with them more than he belonged with you.

You sighed, setting your phone aside and staring blankly at the ceiling. The questions swirled in your mind, each one cutting deeper than the last.

Why didn’t they tell me? Did they think I wouldn’t care? Or… did they just not want me there?

The sound of the front door opening pulled you from your thoughts. Carlos walked in, a small carry-on bag in hand. His face lit up when he saw you, but his smile faltered when he noticed the expression on your face.

—Mi amor. —he greeted, stepping closer. —What’s wrong?

You crossed your arms, leaning against the kitchen counter. —You tell me, Carlos. How was Mexico?

His eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by your tone. —Mexico? How did you—

—Instagram. —you interrupted, holding up your phone. —Charles and Arthur have been posting non-stop. Seems like everyone had a great time. Everyone but me.

Carlos sighed, running a hand through his hair. —I can explain—

—Can you? —you snapped, your voice trembling.

—It wasn’t like that. —Carlos began, his tone pleading. —It was a last-minute thing. Charles invited me—

—And you didn’t think to invite me?

Carlos hesitated, guilt flashing in his eyes. —It wasn’t my place to invite you. It was your family’s trip, not mine.

The words stung, each one hitting like a blow to the chest. —My family —you repeated bitterly. —Right. The family that always makes me feel like I don’t belong.

Carlos stepped closer, his expression softening. —That’s not true—”

—Isn’t it? —you challenged, tears brimming in your eyes. —They didn’t want me there, Carlos. And you went along with it. Do you have any idea how that feels?

He reached for you, but you took a step back. —I thought you were on my side. I thought… I thought I could count on you.

—Mi amor… —Carlos said softly, his voice heavy with regret. —I never wanted to hurt you. If I had known this would upset you—

—You should have known —you cut him off. —You should have thought about how I’d feel. But you didn’t.

The tension in the air was suffocating, the silence between you deafening. Finally, Carlos broke it.

—You’re right —he admitted in a whisper.

His apology caught you off guard, the sincerity in his voice cutting through your anger. You looked at him, searching for any hint of dishonesty, but all you saw was regret.

—I love you —he continued, stepping cautiously closer. —And I never want you to feel like you’re not enough. Not with me, not with anyone.

Your resolve faltered, but his words didn’t fill the emptiness in your chest. You took a small step back, letting the distance between you speak for itself.

—I don’t know if it’s that simple, Carlos —you whispered, avoiding his gaze. —I can’t keep feeling like an outsider.

Carlos froze, his expression pained. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then stopped. He took a breath, and his shoulders slumped slightly.

—I’ll do whatever it takes. —he said quietly. —But only if you let me.

You didn’t respond, your thoughts a tangled mess of emotions. The love you felt for him was still there, but so was the hurt, the lingering doubt.

Carlos nodded, his jaw tight, his eyes filled with understanding—and fear. —Take all the time you need.

He didn’t try to close the distance again, and you didn’t move to close it either. Instead, you stood there, two people caught in the uncertainty of what came next.

The only sound in the room was the faint hum of the city outside, a reminder that the world kept turning even as yours felt stuck in limbo.

[queerbeverage]

It's cool that for you gender is just a funny little cloak you can don whenever you want to, and you don't feel as dysphoric when getting misgendered, and that you use the bathroom that has the shorter line.

However, have you maybe for one second considered all of these things are privileges people like me do not have? When i go into the women's bathroom, i might get kicked out or assaulted. My specific kind of gender will not be acknowledged, because anything feminine is immediately seen as threatening. Idk, i feel like a lot of trans people and especially transmascs never learn to respect other trans people who may have different experiences and get oppressed in different ways. It's not enough for you to be trans, that does not make you a feminist by default! It does not make you understanding & accepting of other identities! That is still work you have to do yourself!!!

And frankly i am tired of getting kicked from communities and socially murdered because a transmasc decided i was too weird/didn't fit into their transmisogynistic worldview/any combination of those two; and watching my sisters get ostracized with no support system over the most basic of differences. It gets even worse when we call this shit out, it's immediate social murder, everyone turns away and abandons you.

DO. BETTER.

Educate younger transmascs, be vocal about transfems, stop attending events where no transfems are and either work to make those spaces better or hold space and grace for the transfems in your life. I am tired of my sisters being hurt so badly in the places they're searching comfort in. DO BETTER!

Transmascs & trans men who are vocal about these issues, i love you. Your voice is important in this, and it's imperative that if you notice one of your TME friends act like this around transfems to speak up. To them, your voice carries a lot more weight than ours does (as sad and shit as that may be). Just like feminist cis men, you can help a ton by just calling out bullshit in your communities.

Please, i'm fucking tired of being hurt by the people that should be my brothers and siblings.

[zee-143]

♡Confess I loved you from the start♡

A/N: After pure procrastination, I finally wrote something. Now I have to get to the other members smh😭😭 idk I'll probably do Sunoo next. Also should I have a tag list? If so, tell me if you wanna be added!! Happy reading<33

Warnings: swearing lmao

Fluff☁⭐

Jake x Fem!Reader

If you see a mistake, no you didn't 🙂

ENHYPEN's Playlist

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

You loved Jake. More than you'd ever like to admit

Having known each other for so long, he was always your happy place. Almost everyone at uni believed your souls were bounded together. And others assumed you must be partners, right? Considering how Jake himself drapes his arms around you ever so casually or often gives you forehead kisses. You wouldn't call them wrong.This has been a thing for years. Although, it's only now you question why seeing his face makes your heart rate spike.

Jake rambles on about something that happened the previous day. You took a sip of your drink, slouching into the booth of your favorite little diner. You and Jake would always come here throughout high school. It was practically a second home. Most of the staff knew you both quite well too. The 80s inspired diner brought nothing but delicious meals and heartwarming memories. You couldn't really come here much due to university. So all these little moments meant the world.

"I need to ask you something" His words change the conversation completely. Now, you're actually paying attention. Not just admiring his face while his words only translated into 'blah blah blah's. "Something?" Your eyebrows raise. Jake's fingers tap against the table, his lips pressing together in thought. His mouth opened to speak but not a word came out.

"Take your time" You say. Your heart raced and a million thoughts jumped into your brain. Could he be confessing? Could he actually like me? Shit, is this even happening? You took another sip of your drink, trying to disguise your smile. Jake caught your gaze and sighed. "I-I want to ask Lexie to be my girlfriend" Jake blurts out.

"What? " your voice cracks

"Lexie. I want to ask her out" he repeats

You held back any sound that might indicate you're fucking hurt. Sure, you knew Jake liked Lexie. He's liked her ever since the first year of university. She's apart of the friend group and she's an absolute sweet heart. She has this natural beauty to her. Lexie is a close friend of yours but you still envy that she stole Jake's attention so easily.

"I know this is sudden" Jake said "But I really need your advice. Please? " He intertwined his fingers with yours and pouts. You don't say anything. You don't know what to say. The fact that he came to you for advice warmed your crushed heart. You tell him everything you believe Lexie would appreciate. You give him things to say or think about. You say this all with an aching soul. You wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with you

And just before you both leave the diner and go your seperate ways, Jake hugs you. He pulls you into the warmest hug you've ever felt. With joy, you hug him back. "You're the best, y/n" Jake pulls away, keeping his eyes on yours. "Thanks for always being so supportive"

You might be crazy but the way his eyes softened. His smile making an appearance more than usual. That pink dusted across his face─that you might as well be imagining. Delusional feelings only prompt you to think he feels exactly what you feel. Although, it can't be the case. Jake often talks about Lexie like she's the only girl on planet earth. You really can't let irrational thoughts take over like this. "No problem, Jake. I'm always happy to help" You respond, forcing a grin

♡

Your dorm room is a load of silence. Not even the sound of a bug could be heard. You lay on the sofa while looking up at the ceiling. Every thought seemed to be about Jake. You desperately tried to think of anything else. Food, laundry or cats? No point though as your heart continues to drag back to that special friend who would always stay a friend.

You couldn't just sit here and feel bad for yourself. You had to let Jake know. It's a secret you've been hiding for him. You both promised not to keep secrets like this. Especially for so long. It only felt right to go tell him. Let him know you're so in love with him it hurts.

You jump off your couch and rush towards the door. You lock the dorm room and storm out of the dorm building. For some odd reason, you forgot it was raining outside. Light rain though. Nothing to absolutely kill you. You think about going back to get an umbrella but you're already outside anyway. You don't have a car either as Jake always drives you around. Fuck it, we dash, you thought

And upon arriving at his place, you're basically drenched. That was the least of your problems though. You knocked on Jake's door then hear rustling from inside. A few moments pass before Jake pulls the door open, staring down at you. "Y/N? What are yo-"

You push yourself inside, hurriedly cutting him off. Jake shuts the front door with an eyebrow raise. "Aww. You didn't miss me already, did you? " He teased. You give him a vulnerable look before pouring out everything. "Jake. I know you like Lexie and you both would make an amazing couple. I-I just wanted to say that I love you! But if you wanna be with- uh- Lexie, then that's fine by me-"

"Woah. Calm down" Jake chuckles, pulling you into a warm embrace, simply ignoring how wet you are from the rain.

"Lex and I weren't going to work out anyway. She's kinda already taken" you hear him sigh. You silently thank your ancestors for that. Her already being taken makes things slightly more easier. Or maybe not because you did blatantly say you love him. Love. What a strong word. "Oh. That's unfortunate"

"Yeah" Jake rests his head on top of yours

"Glad to know you love me, baby"

You slap his arm and roll your eyes. Jake pulls away with a laugh. "Your confession, not mine! " He states. You try not to laugh while giving him a stern look. "I was just saying things" You shrug. Jake intertwined his hand with yours, pulling you close again. "To be honest with you" He takes a moment to pause before continuing "I don't really like Lexie. I only forced myself to like her because of you" His confession caught you off guard. You mask your shock with a smile. "Well, you had me convinced"

"Did I? " He frowns "I must have hurt you, huh? I-I wasn't sure if you'd ever feel the same. You're my best friend and I didn't want our relationship to feel uncomfortable because of some stupid crush-"

You cut him off, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. As you pull away, you notice how red his ears are. Jake blinks for a few moments before speaking again. "Y/N? " He smiles

"Jake?" you smile back

"Can I be your boyfriend? "

"Only if you let me be your girlfriend"

"Deal" Jake wraps his arms around your waist, pressing a kiss against your forehead. It was only then he realized how drenched you were. "Let's get you out of those clothes, yeah? " He suggests. You gasp before punching his arm. "That's so forward, Sim"

Jake winced, shaking his head. "Not like that! Your clothes are wet, dumbass. Don't want you catching a cold" He removes his arms from your waist, stepping back. You then realize what he meant, letting out an awkward chuckle. "Ah, sorry"

"Pervert" He jokes, pulling you towards his room. You were about to respond but thought against it. "I love you too by the way" Jake says with an affectionate tone. "Love you more" You replied

Despite this not being how you wanted your confession with him to go, you're glad it did. Knowing that Jake has loved you from the start. He loved you just as long as you loved him. It sparked a chain of happiness. You were ready to spend all your seconds with him. Each and every one<3

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

[causeimcrayzeebee]

YAP ABOUT HASEMURA

this is such a dangerous ask oh my goodness

alright gang let's talk hasemura.

oh um kinda spoilers ig??? idk proceed w caution…

they are my everything sigh i can’t stop drawing them n thinking about them…..

I find their characters to be particularly interesting as a pair. they are two sides of the same coin. I think from woodshop we’ve gotten a good idea of kamimura’s life; he’s really on his own. no parents, hardly any friends, and just ignored by society. on his own, isolated as he couldn’t even get out of bed, drowning in his own self hatred, and forgotten by the world.

then there’s hasegawa, a microcelebrity on game shows with a caring mother and sister, making tons of money from being on tv for these shows. he’s an intelligent kid who’s got many possible paths for his life. and yet, he probably feels a similar way to kamimura. this is the kid who just goes to school and comes back home most of the time, spending his leisure time studying for school and trivia shows. not to mention hasegawa’s anxiety making his day to day life more difficult. of course, he’s not as alone as kamimura, but that doesn’t mean there may not be something that makes him feel alone despite being surrounded by people (plus the absence of his late sister). sometimes everything is just too much and not enough at the same time.

his family is definitely worried of his whereabouts, but other than that, who else is worried about them?

for some reason, kamimura was drawn to hasegawa, and hasegawa was drawn to him in turn. it’s quite beautiful, two people tossed around by life and just getting through day by day finding something, someone, to look forward to. in this shitty hellhole, watching other teenagers kill each other and, they managed to find someone who got them. these two finally get to act like teenagers, the dumb, genuine first love teens will have, the banter, the care, everything. they can be themselves. they can be who they wanted to be that wasn’t possible outside.

how ironic, isn’t it? somehow, they achieved what they couldn’t have in the regular world. in some fucked up way, the killing game brought them together by something as stupid as fate.

of course their time is pretty limited— let’s face it they’re not both getting out alive. but even so, they have connected so quickly and so meaningfully, being the shoulder to cry on, the hand to hold.

in the end, they’re just two kids who were hiding from the world, who managed to find love in their hiding spot.

[trash-and-trash-accessories]

I didn't really feel like I was living in an adult body until I started T.

I think there's a tendency to focus in on the very young trans people and the most "cringe" among us, and apply their experience to everyone.

Young trans men are boys. They're still children. So this applies the analysis of "delayed childhood" to people who are still children and then extrapolates that onto the entire community, which is also full of adults and elders.

You are steeped in youth culture here on tumblr dot com, but that is not the whole experience. You aren't seeing all the communities of queer elders with entirely different experiences. Queer parents, queer people working boring normal jobs. Half the transmascs I know drive forklifts.

Also a lot of adult cis men love anime and video games and other "childish" things. This is a skewed view of adulthood and adults as perfect worker drones who don't feel joy. This is not the experience of adulthood. You are still allowed to feel joy and don't have to abandon your childhood hobbies as you move into adulthood.

Something that is often required of women is to strip themselves of "childish" things to become workers and mothers, but this is much less forced on men. Men are allowed to keep enjoying their childhood hobbies into adulthood with less criticism or pushback. Things like video games, sports, anime. It's considered normal to have a man cave and a boys night and engage in those things together. Women are rarely afforded the same thing and are called childish for wanting to keep their own hobbies. When trans men do it, it's often seen as childish too, in the way women are infantalized when they have hobbies. That's not cool. It's not childish to have hobbies, no matter your sex or gender.

You deserve to keep enjoying your hobbies and not have to be the perfect stepford wife. Life isn't only about labor. Not only do trans men deserve to do those things and not be seen as lesser, so do you. Your childhood favorites like Sailor Moon or idk what the Gen Z version of Sailor Moon was, should not have to be abandoned just because you turn 18 and work in an office.

The delay of adulthood is also something often generalized to millennials as well, of any genders. I remember this being a critique of my entire generation when I was in my early 20s. It's true to a degree because we no longer live in an economic environment where people can succeed in the same ways they did in the past. And I'm sure this is being applied to younger generations too.

Everyone is different and has a different reason for transitioning.

As for asexuality, I know gender criticals are also often very critical of asexuality, but that is also real. And people don't have to have sex to be adults. This is part of the compulsory heterosexuality narrative. It's not just heterosexual attraction. The sex itself is required. It's a marker of adulthood and it's mandatory under compulsory heterosexuality. Something a woman has to do, a service she must perform to be allowed to exist in the world. But not everyone wants that. Sexuality of any kind shouldn't be forced on people. That's basic feminism 101.

Genuine question as someone female with gender dysphoria: How do you feel about the argument that trans identification is an expression of self-infantilization I've consumed a lot of radical feminist/gender critical material on the topic and I want to hear it from the opposing view. What I've read suggests as follows:

Only children have bodies without secondary sex characteristics; a desire to have a body which doesn't reflect your adult sexual development is a childish desire to escape adulthood

A lot of female transgender people love things like cartoons, anime and video games for children

Many of the same people also reject being called "women" and prefer terms like enby or boy, which are childish-sounding or usually only applied to children

A lot of transgender people, especially on Tumblr, can't drive, don't work, don't have sex and don't want to have children

Reading this has demoralized me a lot; I'm very proud of being an adult, I'm happy being employed and living a life that would be unthinkable to a child, I don't want to have an identity which will essentially turn me back into a child again, so this has definitely put me off trans identity. I wanted to seek a second perspective and you're pretty vocally pro-trans. I promise this isn't a troll ask- I do have radfem/GC beliefs but I'm open to other opinions. Thank you!

I have no idea what you're talking about. That's genuinely so much generalizing.

Darling, I'm on testosterone specifically to get hairier, more muscular and look older/my age for a man, the exact opposite of what you're describing, that's what testosterone does. I'm nearing 30, I haven't lived with my parents since I was 18 and have been working for about as long too, I have a career and a partner of 11 years who I'm getting married to next year. So I have absolutely no idea why you think that description of transness would fit my experience in any way? Except for maybe the no driving part which... babes, some of us live in these cool places called ✨ cities ✨.

Your stereotype is basically just your judgemental description of someone who might be unable to work, young and literally just asexual. Those are all perfectly fine ways of being and yes, some people on Tumblr will fit that description and logically, some of them will be trans/non-binary.

Some people want to have few to no secondary sexual characteristics, but that's not the most common trans experience, not at all? It's actually more common to just be fine with what nature gave you, especially for non-binary people.

You made up a strawman of a trans person you're inclined to feel angry about because of bigoted views you hold. Which makes you come off like a judgemental, mean person.

You know what being a mature adult means for me? Being capable of minding your own business and keeping inside thoughts on the inside, where they belong.

Most mature adults do not, in fact, spend as much time debating fictional teenagers in their heads as you seem to be.

It's so embarrassing for you, but don't worry, you can work on that! You can start by examining why that little made up trans person in your head is making you leave short essays in random people's asks about how displeased you are about how they're choosing to live their imaginary little life and what this obsession of yours says about you.

[zootopiathingz]

I’m sorry but why am I always the one who has to make the plans when it comes to hanging out with friends? Not to sound like a bitch but I’m literally the only one who makes any effort to reach out and plan something with my friends and lately it’s been kinda draining and lonely. Why am I always the one who has to put in the effort? Why am I the one who has to suggest that we hang out? Like I’m always the one who texts first and asks to see them and it’s never the other way around, ever. If I don’t ask for us to hang out then we don’t hang out.

I know I’m nobody’s first choice, but is it too much to ask to be a choice at all?

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Liam was a boy, and then a man, who suffered so much trauma and pain. He was bullied as a child and then lived a nightmare that I think none of us can really imagine of having that triggering experience replicated on a literally global public scale. He became a man who inflicted trauma on others. He was an addict who was unable to find a way out of that disease, and now never will, but who was open and vulnerable about his struggles. He was an incredibly talented musician and artist and an absolutely integral part of one of the most important bands of a generation; his voice and songwriting and skill in the studio shaped every aspect of what One Direction became at their best. He loved that band and being a part of that experience with his whole being and would never have stopped celebrating what they meant to us and to the world. He had problems and did bad things; that doesn't mean he was a bad person who didn't deserve to be loved and helped to heal- everyone deserves that- and the fact that that's not something that can ever happen now is devastating. I was very distressed by many of his actions; and I cared deeply about this man I didn't know and wished for better for him than this outcome.

I'm so deeply, deeply SAD tonight. I'm sad for Liam, who will never now have the chance to look back on this hard time and reflect on how far he's come, and for Liam's family, for his parents and his sisters who loved and supported him so much, and for everyone in the 1D band family and circles. And I'm sad for us. It feels like nothing will ever be quite the same, and that's hard and sad and shocking. It's a special kind of doubled grief, to mourn the loss of the person, and also of what he meant to us in this strange world of parasocial fanning, for the real him and also for the version of him that we made up and attached so much meaning to and for the escape that brought us. For him, and also for the easy uncomplicated joy of listening to those beautiful songs from happier times, which might never feel the same again. For the other boys, who we love so much and wish we could shield from suffering and loss and pain. For our fellow fans, who we also worry about the impact of this on. Everything about this is terrible, and I am sending so much love out to all of you. We are not alone, and it's okay to feel complicated emotions and it's okay to mourn and it's okay to care about how it effects you and your life, whatever you're feeling- it's okay. We are here with you. We are 1D family.

[velvetvexations]

hi velvet, i hope this ask finds you well. something happened to me irl a month or two ago and i just cant stop thinking about it, it just shocked and frustrated me so much

so i was hanging out with a couple of my friends (a cis guy who i will call S and two transfems, M and B) at M and B's dorm room, and we were all having a good time, horsing around for a bit and then we eventually got to talking about M's family and their reaction to her being queer and trans. her parents are a little weird about it but supportive enough that she's allowed to openly wear what she wants and date who she wants. after she was done sharing i shared a little bit about my family (very unsupportive, i never plan on coming out to them or sharing anything about my love life to them in any way if i can help it. i am 3 months on T and i plan on never telling them, if the topic of it comes up im just gonna straight up lie.)

after i shared a bit she kind of interrupted me and said "at least you get the short end of the trans stick you know?" and i asked her "huh what are you talking about" "you know, us trans girls they just kill us they kind of just leave you alone (in a sort of jokey tone)" and i looked at S and B to gauge their reactions and they both looked really uncomfortable and like they didn't know what to say. so i said "no?? they kill us too" B and S nodded a little bit and then M said "yeah but they like give you some extra time first at least (laughing nervously a bit)" "yeah thats when they're raping us, corrective rape is a huge issue for trans men" (in hindsight this was fucked up to say but i was upset and wanted to point out that trans men don't get extra grace from transphobes) and then we changed the subject

that whole interaction has really stuck with me, it really really sucked to have TRF rhetoric literally said to my face by someone who i really like and respect and love spending time with :(( ive talked to S about it a couple of times to try and get it off my chest but understandably he stays out of trans infighting discourse so he's just like "yeah that was weird it's understandable that it hurt your feelings" and thats all he has to say on the matter and i havent talked to B about the incident bc M is its roommate and best friend and i don't wanna split hairs but it's refreshing that it agreed with me in the moment

i just don't know that was a shitty moment that happened for sure

I'm very sorry, anon. I'm gullible and always looking for the best in people, but also in case it might help you process it, it sounds like maybe she realized she said something massively wrong and awkwardly tried to walk it back with a joke that made it worse? Like she is not necessarily a complete apricot-aligator which, I know, low bar, but. IDK maybe talk to her about it? Hopefully she'd understand and yall would be able to clear the air.

[reineydraws]

wanted: marine hunter takanome mihawk

[not-equippedforthis]

shout out to the very distinct feeling of 'oh god i'm going to become at least mildly annoying about this aren't i'. binging ds9 season 1 and i outright giggled at a very small mannerism julian did. got hyped when o'brien showed up. grinned widely at kira just Being There. felt the urge to yell and cheer and scream at the slightest hint of whump. the character dynamics and friendships are beginning to interweave like strings in a tapestry and i almost detonated upon realising this. uh oh.

[froggy-nebula]

honestly i just dont get why sometimes people get all weird about quadrants and insist they’re unhealthy always no matter what

like yeah im not stupid i know they CAN be fucked up and can be weird and toxic but so can any romance. human romance has been toxic and fucked up for me many times. tbh if we take a step back and just look at the basic ideas of all of them i don’t think any of those have to be evil and terrible necessarily

like oh no me and my boyfriend have a fun rivalry that we both like being in and both agreed to where we have fun competing with each other and talking shit and then make out! FUCK!!! that’s horrible i would NEVER want that! i would never be guilty of forcing my boyfriend to play tetris with me over and over and insulting him the entire time

oh no my boyfriend has anxiety and i calm him down! oh god we like cuddling and talking about feelings! we both agreed we like this relationship dynamic and feel fulfilled by it! AAA SCARY!!! GET SCARED!!!

oh no sometimes my boyfriends are both annoying and i voluntarily get between that and make people be less annoying! FUCK!!!!!!!! we are going to DIVORCE!!!