#and it feels a lot like living in an apocalyptic world does it show in my delirious ramblings

[theoddest1]

Okay so, ima type in what I typed to my friend here.

"Yeah Ima be so dead ass. ||Mel and Ekko carried the final for me, ESPECIALLY Ekko."

Yeah, they should have just kept [Viktor] being Ryze. That made more sense to me than whatever this is. And I am all for mlm rep, but yeah, this felt WAY too, Jayvikky. I liked it better that they were brothers to parallel Vander and Silco, who also found each other and became bros, but it seemed like they went with how popular JayVik was and stuck with it. And Jayce being strung with Viktor for wherever they went felt...kinda nonsensical. I'd rather that Viktor was thwarted and too far gone to then just suddenly have a change of heart and go with Jayce. I imagined that he would have a contingency where he, incase his body was destroyed, would then later rise again to try and enact "Glorious Evolution". It would go well with the themes of his beliefs anyway because every time he dies, he comes back stronger in a new body. I feel like that would better set the ongoing conflict and fit well with the game and why he looks the way he does currently.

I also don't like how quick he and Mel's reunion was considering how much he favored her along with his odd and sudden dislike for her decisions-- Seriously, where did that even come from!?"

[Thought it over further. Him calling her out on her actions isn't the issue. It's the timing and how this transpires that confuses me. He just came from a post-apocalyptic world where Mel, Viktor, and everything else came to mind. The lack of time for them to truly talk made the scene felt out of nowhere and not at all fleshed out. He goes on to place part of the blame on her when literally it wasn't. She DID manipulate but only politically. Everything else was on he and Viktor. Then, when he DOES confront Viktor, the vibes are different. Viktor hurt and caused a chain of events that led to several lives being taken to ensure survival and his "Glorious Evolution", why is this essentially overlooked? Maybe when I review this again, it will make more sense, but as of now, the way Jayce treats both Mel and Viktor is VERY questionable.]

"I would have been pretty happy if He at least gave her a hug, a kiss, something to make their relationship seem consistent with what we were shown. I know that he's been gone for a while and a lot more cold, but this was a very odd direction to go with. I am super happy about Cait and Mel fighting side by side and that Mel may be the main character for a new Noxus related show! [Which I knew they'd set up!] but this series, after seeing it in its entirety, DID suffer too much from the pacing issues. I assumed at the First Act that it was quick paced to go with how they've all been shifted into places they didn't see coming, but the pacing issues continued to bring down the quality. 3 seasons would have made way more sense and would go well with the 3 ACT formula they had used. I hope they learn from this and refrain from making similar mistakes.

[I responded to my friend who posted these images above] I knew they'd make a callback to this line eventually, and I am genuinely surprised people are not catching this obvious set up to Jinx living. Also, I am betting that Heimer did "die" but only that alternate version of himself. [Though obviously I could be wrong, though a life of various lifetimes where he helps each version of the main cast sounds very Heimerdinger of him, especially since he didn't wanna leave.]

The biggest letdown for me has to be Jayce and Viktor's story. It just...doesn't make sense with what we have been shown. Also, if Viktor KNOWS bad shit would happen when bringing Hextech to life and all, why TF would he give it to Jayce then???? Or if he STILL wanted magic to be tampered with shy doesn't he comvince himself in a way HE KNOWS would prevent what happens next, surely NOT EVERY timeline has it where you continue on the path of destruction! You see what I mean!?!? Leave the time crap to Ekko, man. This new inclusion makes no sense! And he does this in VARIOUS timeliness for some reason. Man, I wish it was just a random ass mage or Ryze, this added stuff kinda kills the finale for me🫠

I feel that making Viktor time travel ruins a huge aspect of the story, ngl, especially when Jayce argues that people can "craft their own path." The story also shouldn't have ended with what I could only assume both of them "dying" or traversing time instead. Also, the way Sky was treated and essentially replaced with Jayce feels....very very weeeeird."

[I believe that the ending just didn't land that well. I feel, now thinking over every character, Ekko, Mel, and Jinx carried this season HEAVY. These 3 were the most interesting parts of the season, honorable mention being Singed cause he be doing what he MUST. Also, what was the point of introducing Loris if all he was gonna end up being was a random guy who reminded Vi of Vander? I guess nothing is wrong with this, but when you're already stringing for time, these inclusions make no sense... I liked him, though, RIP Loris🤧. Oh, and Caut barely facing consequences is KINDA CRAZY but it goes with the themes of forgiveness/ acceptance. The Cycle would never end, after all, but yeah Vi and Cait made up WAY too fast and just shows that this needed another season. Let me know your thoughts!]

[kyouka-supremacy]

Okay, but about this. I love this title. It's so perfectly explicative of everything bsd represents and for its core themes. First of all, you are faced with an apparent strong and definite dichotomy: there's an hero, and there's a criminal, and there's good and evil, and they're up against each other. But as soon as you try to figure out who's who, you realize how deeply elusive the categories are. Who fits the role of the hero? Who's the criminal, who's the villain? They both fit all three characters.

If this was placed earlier in the story events, it would have been easy to identify Atsushi as the hero and Akutagawa as the villain; and yet, the roles can't help but feel strikingly reversed now, as Akutagawa comes in to save Atsushi (underlining the “saving-others” bit, which is the most emblematic hero action of them all) while Atsushi is reduced to a terrorist, an outlaw. But Atsushi is still the hero, he's still trying to do what's best for the agency and the world, and Akutagawa is still a mafioso. And the same duality is reflected in Fukuchi: he's THE hero, he's the one who saved the earth countless times and he's the savior of humanity and the soldier and the martyr. It's important to note, in his mind Fukuchi is acting like a hero, he's still doing what he thinks is best for humanity. He regrets having to hurt Atsushi. But at the same time he's also the leader of the doa - the real terrorist organization -, the mastermind, and the executioner.

In the end, nothing other than this paradox of terms could be more representative of bsd's core spirit: of how the line between good and evil is blurry and undefined, how short the way from hero to villain is and how good and evil are often just a matter of perspective. When you think about it, it's everything Beast really is about, and here you find the theme once again presented in canon, where really, in the end, there's no good or evil but only people who fight for what they believe in: the people who “in the storm of accidental events who scream, run and spill blood” who end up driving the world.

Then in the title there's the “V” highlighted in blood red, a nod to V, five, the doa, as the next episode will make the audience understand just how much of a temible and undefeated opponent their leader is– and I completely lose my mind.

Next week's episode is titled "Hero Vs. Criminal" and I think the "hero" in this scenario is Akutagawa. For reasons pertaining to "dying to save Atsushi". And the confirmation that Akutagawa is Atsushi's hero is making my heart hurt

[fairyysoup]

easy living

pairing: eric (a quiet place: day one) x fem!reader

summary: You ran into Eric on accident. Now you're facing the end of the world together. How do you get to know someone when you can't make a sound?

tags: smut, oral (f receiving), dry humping, piv sex, silent fucking, angst, hurt/comfort, survival, discussions of trauma, slight suicidal ideation by reader, words of affirmation as a love language, stay silent or die (obviously), strangers to lovers, apocalyptic, the cheesiest ending bc it's me writing, billie holiday lyrics bc it's also me writing

a/n: here it is, the silent fucking fic i promised y'all a year ago when this movie was announced. it was supposed to be like 1-2k words of plain smut but then I got too into the theory of what one does when you can't show affection through words and I genuinely discovered a tidbit of trauma I didn't know I had while writing it so I will be talking to a therapist about it, and also I'm literally out here baring my soul lol.

i also want to thank @bigtiddythanos @raraeavesmoriendi and @maximoffwxnda for supporting me throughout this writing process <3 this fic literally would not have been finished or published without y'all

ALL MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI

The rain has ended. Morose, you stare up at the ceiling, wondering when you’ll get something close to free reign with your voice again. 

Of course the world had to end while you were at fucking Whole Foods.

You’ll miss certain things. Things you always took for granted, that you never even considered made a lot of noise until now. Typing on the computer. Making stir fry. Microwaving a burrito at 3am. Lighting a match, washing your face. Taking a shower.

And other things, too, that are more obvious, like singing while making cookies. Slurping the bottom of a milkshake. You’ll never be able to have a pet bird. You’ll never be able to see another concert again, and damn it if you didn’t really want those Glastonbury tickets a month ago. But it all just seems trivial, now. You don’t see why you shouldn’t just lay here on the couch forever. 

On the other side of the coffee table there’s a gentle shuffling. Eric rouses as quietly as he can; at the very least, your apartment creates a hospitable enough environment that he isn’t startled awake. It’s so silent in the apartment that you can hear the slight shift in his intake of breath, the rustle of the pillow as he turns his head to look at you. 

You want to look at him, but you fear that you’ll end up wanting to talk. So, you say nothing. You do nothing. You stare at the white paint on the ceiling and you wonder whether it would be better to get on one of the boats headed out into the water, or to move inland, away from people, away from sound. There has to be somewhere far enough away from the city that the… creatures won’t go, right?

Eric waves his hand in your periphery, so that you have no choice but to acknowledge that you know he’s awake. You have no choice but to turn your head and look into the depths of his eyes, and feel all the pain of the last 48 hours return to you. You’d been able to talk last night, just enough, in time with the rain and the thunder– enough to learn that he has family across the world. 

You can’t imagine knowing that somewhere, across an ocean and half a world away, your parents may or may not be dead. No way to contact them, no way to know what’s become of them. You can’t even begin to fathom the fear that he’s feeling, as much as you’re despairing. 

Eric’s big eyes tell you everything. Sadness and fear, and trying to grasp at the smallest hint of normalcy he can get. He blinks at you, and mouths, You okay?

No, you’re definitely not okay. Things are not okay. Things are broken and can’t be fixed. Things will never be the same again. He knows that, as much as you know that. But you nod anyway, even though you feel your heart beat a little bit slower than usual, like it wants to just go ahead and give up already. Tears prick at your eyes, and you have to close them before you let on that you’re lying.

Eric knows you’re lying, of course. How could anyone be okay, in this kind of situation? But he waits until you open your eyes, and then he mouths, Coffee?

You let out a small sigh of relief, and a smile that’s indescribably warm crosses your face. Even though he can’t make a sound, he knows exactly what to say.

You don’t have a coffee maker that doesn’t also make a ton of noise. But through some kind of witchcraft, Eric quietly empties two k-cups into a glass measuring cup and boils a soup pot full of water on the stove, and suddenly you have hot coffee in front of you. 

On a notepad left on the counter, you write, Wish I had some tea for you. 

Eric’s lips turn up at the edges, and he takes the pen from you. You’re able to doctor your coffee for about one second before he slides the notepad back to you.

Bloody American.

Your ensuing huff of a laugh is enough to make him turn pink around the ears, and he turns to place the dirty measuring cup into the sink. He reaches for the faucet, but then thinks better of it. You’ll have to figure out how to wash the dishes later.

You both drink your coffee in silence on the couch. You never considered yourself uncomfortable with silence; you’ve lived alone, you’ve gone for weeks without uttering a word before. But it’s so difficult to be sitting next to someone– someone you feel you could really get to like– and not be able to say a word. To make a sound, laugh or cry or snort or grunt. 

You’ll never be able to know what Eric’s laugh sounds like, or listen to his favorite song with him, or watch some stupid rerun of Friends with him while ignoring your responsibilities. He’s right there next to you, he’s risked his life to save you once already, and yet he’s so far away. You’ll never get to know him in all the ways you want to. Will you ever really know him at all?

He’d created a diversion when one of the fucking things had you trapped in a corner, between a dumpster and a brick wall. He chucked a rock at a car and set off an alarm, and then ran with you down an alleyway, his arm wrapped tight around your waist. Eric looked so sad, following you like a lost puppy. He was fucking drenched, too, so you know he’d probably been through one hell of a morning. And then the rain started, and the creatures were confused and… well, you weren’t just gonna leave him, scared and alone.

You, too, were scared and alone.

Eric’s hand appears to brush away a tear that had begun to fall down your cheek, betraying your internal monologue. You look to him with puffy eyes, and he pulls his hand away, suddenly unsure of whether you’re okay with such an intimate gesture. 

Your coffee cup meets the table with a quiet tap. You’re slow to move, but you scoot towards him, his arm still outstretched towards you, his eyes wide. Eric has the prettiest eyes in the world, you think. You want to tell him so.

But you’re a little too choked up to form words, anyways. Your forehead meets Eric’s shoulder, and his arm comes around you before you can huff the first silent sob that brims up. He coos softly into your hair, so softly that you can barely hear it, but it conveys enough. It does enough. 

The world is fucked. Your life is fucked. You have tunnel vision and you can only see things getting worse from here on; the only good thing you know anymore is holding you and caressing your head so gently that it pushes your tears out for you. 

You’ll never get to see a movie in a theater, and smell the stale popcorn again. You’ll never drive down the highway with the wind in your hair. You’ll never ride a roller coaster or sing karaoke. You’ll never go to a club and have a drunken heart to heart with a stranger in a bathroom.

“Do you think it’s worth it?” You whisper, so faintly that it’s barely above a breath, your lips pressed to the shell of his ear. “To try to exist in a world where you have to pretend like you don’t exist?”

Eric pauses, holding you to him. You can see the wheels turning in his head, while he tries to figure out what to say. Then he turns his face to put his lips against your ear, the same way you’d done to him. 

“I think it’s worth it to try to survive.” His breath tickles your skin when he whispers, “So survive with me, yeah?”

You nod solemnly, your tears threatening to rise up again. “I can’t stand not talking to you.” It’s so hard to keep your voice from cracking, from rising above the merest hint of a whisper, directly to him and no one or nothing else. 

Eric takes it in stride. “You are talking to me.” He pulls back and bats his eyelashes, and you think, he oughta fucking know what that does to me. 

“Not like this,” you breathe to him, because that’s really what it is– it’s a breath. A sigh. A gust of air and nothing else, barely anything that registers on your vocal chords. Your hand on the back of his neck, pulling him close to you. His hand, tightening on the middle of your back, holding you there. “I want to talk– I want to get to know you.” 

“Well, this isn’t so bad, is it?” Eric turns his head. His forehead nudges yours at the temple, and you swear you see a flash of a smile on his face. “What do you want to know?” 

His forefinger traces up and down, up and down, a gentle pattern that keeps you grounded. You bite your lip, trying to keep from letting the sounds come out too loud. You say the first thing that comes to mind. “What’s your favorite song?”

“Easy Living. Billie Holiday.” 

“You’re kidding.” You’re blushing, hot in the cheeks. You’re imagining it; slow dancing in the kitchen with him while oldies plays on the radio. You didn’t think such an innocent question would send you spiraling like this, but it hurts worse to know that it will probably never happen.

“Absolutely not.” 

“Somehow… I can’t picture you listening to jazz.” 

“Picture it all you want,” he whispers. Eric swallows, and continues, “My granddad used to have these records, and we used to play them on Christmas. But when– when he died, the records went missing. I couldn’t find the song until a couple years ago,” he explains, and his voice cracks just slightly into a murmur. 

You both freeze. You wait for the sound of creatures coming down the hallway, busting down the walls… nothing happens. You let out a breath, and you pull his face closer to yours. His eyes flick over your face, and you put your lips against his ear. 

“You have to be so quiet. Can you do that for me?” Eric nods in your hands. “I wish we could do anything but this. I wish that we could have met in better circumstances. I wish… I wish I had known you before all of this. I think we would have had a lot of fun. But if this is the only way I can get to know you, and hear your voice now, I’ll take it.” You’re nodding as well now, like you’re trying to convince yourself of it. “I’m telling you this because I don’t know how long we have. Together, I mean. And I don’t want to waste it passing notes. Okay?” 

“Okay.” He sounds clipped. His hand fidgets on your back, and you pull away to find him misty-eyed, his brows turned up. He fishes for words that don’t come, and then he nods. “Okay.” 

Neither of you move. The atmosphere around you feels heavy, like it’s pressing in on all sides. Eric’s hand slides up your back and to your face, and you remember that you’re still holding his. You’re near sitting in his lap with how close you’ve become, and the realization of that feels like a punch to the gut.

You think you should pull away. You don’t. 

Eric’s thumb traces a gentle arc across your bottom lip. It’s so featherlight it’s barely there– his eyes are honed in on your mouth, clearly lost in thought. You’d let him stay there as long as he wants, but you want every minute you can get. “Eric–”

He closes the gap and kisses you. The way you’d said his name– or not said it, rather, you sort of mouthed it against his thumb– had done the job you wanted it to. It feels like this was the obvious conclusion to the system you’d worked out, the close proximity and your shared fears. He’s scared, he said as much last night. You’re scared, you said so just now. 

Nowhere to go, nothing else to do except be right here, living. Alive, together. Kissing Eric, and him pulling you close by the waist, so that you do swing your leg and seat yourself in his lap. And as much as you love talking, and it breaks your heart that you can’t jabber at him, there are some things you just can’t put into words. Like the way that his hand on the back of your neck lights you up inside, or that you can’t think of anything other than all the areas where his skin is touching yours, and how you suddenly wish there was way more of them.

It’s stupid how much you like him already, really. You can feel your nonexistent friends clucking their tongues and shaking their heads, saying, “One day? That’s all it takes? You find some guy at the end of the world and you fall in love in 24 hours?” And they’d be right– maybe it’s not love. Not yet, anyways. But you could see it easily becoming that. And that fact scares you even more.

Your hands find Eric’s chest and the frantic beating of his heart tells you nearly the same thing. You break the kiss, trying to quietly catch your breath without gasping like you’re half-drowning. It’s harder than you expected. 

“Been wanting to do that all morning,” Eric whispers. And just like that you’re falling again, faster this time, like he’s just melted your wings right off and sent you plummeting.

You struggle to keep from gasping aloud when he kisses your jaw, just beneath your ear. It’s the lightest touch but you swear it burns, sears your skin. 

Your hands find the back of the couch, twitchy fingers digging in to keep you steady. Your mouth finds his again, his tongue tasting of coffee, and Eric kisses you a bit harder now, a bit sloppier. 

Breaking away, you open your eyes to find his wide, starstruck, his mouth hanging open like he’s been shocked beyond belief. You didn’t honestly intend for this to happen– you wanted to talk. But somehow this seems better, more appropriate. 

How do you get your feelings across when talking isn’t really an option? When innocent attraction becomes… whatever this is? 

You press a single finger to his plush lips, signaling exactly what you mean without a word. Quiet. 

Eric purses his lips, kisses your finger without breaking eye contact. His pupils are blown out so far that the barest hint of golden brown surrounds them, glinting in the sunlight from the window. 

You lean forward, until your mouth touches his ear. “Your eyes are so fucking pretty, Eric,” you whisper to him, and your teeth latch onto his earlobe to tug gently. You can’t help it– you grind your hips down into his lap, without even thinking of doing it. “You’re so pretty.”

Eric whimpers. It’s a soft sound, hollow in the back of his throat, but it’s still too loud for the world that you’re in. You clamp your hand down over his mouth, and his breath comes out sharp and hot over your knuckles as he tries to regain composure.

“Do you want me to stop?” You ask him, whispering gently in his ear. Against you, he shakes his head no. “Want me to keep going?” Eric nods his head yes. 

He’s shaking under you, his fingertips digging into your lower back like he can’t hold onto you hard enough. At the thought, your pulse pounds, blood positively humming through your veins. 

You nuzzle his cheek, and give him the sweetest kiss you can while your hand is still clamped over his mouth insistently. “You have to be. Fucking. Silent. Do you understand?” He nods. “We can’t make a sound. Okay?” 

Eric nods again, and keeps nodding until you let him go. If the rain was still pouring like earlier, you could tell him how much you want him, too. How you don’t want to be mean, you just don’t want to get hurt. This is a bad idea, all things considered. But Eric slides his hand down and cups your ass to lift you up a bit, and the words bad and idea suddenly fucking vanish from your vocabulary.

You stand long enough to kick off your sweats, your day old panties going down with them. You hadn’t dressed to be sexy yesterday, you dressed to get groceries. You don’t necessarily want Eric to see your faded cotton underwear with the stretched out elastic and multiple frayed holes. You don’t think it would add to your sex appeal right now. 

He doesn’t notice the lack of a strip tease– he’s already taking you by the hips, not even waiting for you to shuck your t-shirt. He pulls until you’re stood in front of him, and then hooks your leg over his shoulder. 

So. Eric doesn’t need to be asked to go down on you, he just does. The gentleman. His hands are firm on your ass as he nuzzles into the patch of hair between your legs, and the precarious balancing act makes you snatch onto the back of the couch again. 

His tongue glides through the folds of your pussy slowly, methodically. You aren’t sure if he wants to take his time, or if he’s going slow so that he doesn’t make too much noise when doing it, but he latches onto your clit and sucks agonizingly softly, like he knows he should do it harder but won’t risk making you moan. 

It’s so gentle, and it builds. Pretty soon, you’re having a tough time keeping your whimpers in, even when he’s basically just teasing you, flicking his tongue over your clit with even the barest pressure. Your head has fallen back on your shoulders, your hand now clasped over your own mouth to stifle your sighs. 

Then, Eric’s hand glides up to splay across your lower back, and he sucks long and hard at your clit, and your hand squeezes murderously at the back of the couch while you ride out your orgasm on his tongue. 

Knees buckling, you collapse into Eric’s lap. He has a doe-eyed look on his face that’s way too innocent after what he just did to you. With panting breath and shaking hands, you cup his rosy cheeks in your palms, shaking your head in disbelief. 

Eric’s brows tilt in worry, like he did something wrong. He opens his mouth, but you put your fingers against his lips to silence him, and lean forward to breathe, “You’re too sweet for me, Eric.” 

He traces his fingers lightly up your spine, and turns his head. “Maybe one day I won’t have to be sweet. Maybe then I can really fuck you.” 

The sound of his whispering voice in your ear makes you shiver, your lust reaching a boiling point. The idea of him really fucking you– that this isn’t even him as normal, that he’s having to hold so much back– makes you burn hot all at once. That this isn’t something he’s planning on doing once. That there’s a ‘one day’ that he sees in the future with you in it. 

With a nod, your breath catches in your throat. You find your way to his mouth again, kissing him desperately. You can taste yourself lingering on his lips, and your hips rock forward against his again. 

Eric inhales sharply, stifling his own moan. You guess you have to take it just as slowly as he did, ease him into it. You work your hand beneath his unbuttoned fly and palm him, keeping your touch gentle against his hot skin. He shakes, his hands laid out against your spine, his eyes sparkling when he looks up at you. 

You push your forehead against his as you sink onto his cock, letting yourself adjust to his size. His breath stutters as he tries to keep quiet, small puffs of air spilling out and meeting your electrified skin. You curl your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, rocking your hips just barely, settling into his lap. 

This is more intimate than you can ever remember being with anyone, but right now it just feels right. Maybe it could be cathartic to fuck like a couple of animals in the face of doom, but Eric pulls your body flush against his, one strong forearm around your waist, and his nose nudges yours, and you think this is better. This is what you both need. Closeness. Sweetness. 

There isn’t a lot of movement– you can’t risk it. You and Eric seem to be in agreement on that, because as soon as you start trying to move in earnest, he just pulls you back to him, his arm around your waist and his hand petting the back of your head. 

Eric rocks his hips up into yours slowly, deeply, and it’s the depth of it and the slow sensuality that keeps you floating. Your clit catches on the patch of hair at the base of his cock each time you roll your hips with him, and you have to kiss him to keep from keening aloud. He doesn’t seem to mind it. 

You know he’s close when he tucks his face against your neck, his arm tightening around you. “Feels so fucking good,” comes his whine in your ear, and you gently shush him, your hand resting on the back of his head to keep him muffled against your shoulder. You want so badly to look at his face when he cums, but there’s that pesky issue of staying alive, and that hinges on whether or not he can keep quiet when he does. 

To his credit, he bites your shoulder and only whimpers a little bit. It’s just a squeak, but really, he could have been much louder about it, and then you would have both been in trouble. Imagine having to run for your life with your pants down. 

Ever the gentleman, he keeps you there even after he’s spent and sensitive, his hand clamped down on your thigh to prevent you from moving. His thumb finds your clit, and he lifts his head to watch you, his hooded eyes trained on your face as he brings you to the edge and over it again. He watches the way your brows tilt up, the way you struggle to keep your own eyes open, and the silent moan that threatens to break past your parted lips.

Eric claps his hand down over your mouth before it can. Your eyes fly open, your cunt clenches down around him, and he bares his teeth as you cum hard. It’s cyclical, comes in waves as he continues to stroke you through it, as he keeps his hand clamped down on your mouth to keep you quiet. 

To keep you quiet. 

Feverish and exhausted, you come down with your chest against his, Eric’s head flopped back onto the backrest of the couch. Your knees fucking hurt and you have yet to get off of him, and you sort of dread the moment when you have to. But this means your mouth is positioned right next to Eric’s ear, and you’re nothing if not a talker.

“Eric?” you whisper, and he turns his head just enough to let you know he heard you. “I’m glad that I met you when I did. Even if it’s terrible timing, I’m glad we met.”

A sweet, tired smile flits across Eric’s beautiful face. He nudges his nose against your temple. “I’m glad, too.” 

You shift off of him, and he squeezes your thigh just at the same time as he scrunches his face. He’s such a trooper about it, you kiss his cheek as you go, leaning over to grab a pair of earphones from the coffee table. 

You hand one ear bud to him, watching as confusion crosses his face. He watches you type on your phone as he tucks the bud into his ear, and you the other. 

On low volume, you listen to the soft piano and saxophone intro to an old jazz standard. Eric grins, his hand finding your cheek before he pulls you in for a kiss. 

And then, Billie Holiday’s voice plays for only you two to hear. 

Living for you is easy living, It’s easy to live when you’re in love And I’m so in love, There’s nothing in life but you.

[sleepy-writes-stuff]

DP X DC WRITING PROMPT #20

(#) = Notes at the end of post

(*) = Other ideas relating to the prompt

✦

To Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Jason stayed dead for about six months before he was resurrected. That left his spirit plenty of time to fully manifest in the ghost zone, but time flows a little weird in the Infinite Realms so it feels like he's been dead a lot longer.

Regardless, six months is enough time for him to make plenty of friends and enemies alike. Enough to fall head over heals for the white-haired boy named Danny who just so happens to also be his king. Enough time for Jason and Danny to finally confess their feelings for each other and form a relationship. Enough time for them to grow to adore each other down to their very cores. Enough time for Jason to become the King's consort and earn the title of Prince of the Infinite Realms.

Not enough time, however, when Jason's spirit is unwillingly dragged back to the broken husk of his body buried in a coffin six feet under. Not enough time when the sheer amount of trauma his body and mind suffered causes his memories of the afterlife to sift out like grains of sand through a colander, mindless in his continued existence and search for a man named Bruce that he only half recalls.

Not enough time for when his body is stolen and dunked into the foulist pools of ectoplasm to ever surface in the living world and he comes back with unbridled rage he only half understands. Where is he? Where was he? Why does green flood his vision? Something is missing but why can't he remember? He shouldn't be here. Why was he here?? (1)

Jason tries to navigate his way through the world he'd previously left behind and discovers what happened after his death. The Joker was still alive. Another child was running around in a traffic light costume in the dead of night. Bruce had replaced him, seeming to forget he ever existed and the consequences of training a child to be a vigilante. That just won't do. He cries. He rages. He plans.

Meanwhile, the King of the Infinite Realms is apocalyptic over the fact that his lover was ripped from his arms, their kingdom, their home. He can sense Jason's torment like echoes in a cave. Can sense when his body enters the fringes of his territory when dunked into the toxic Lazarus waters created by the previous king. How dare they taint his lover's spirit with such filth?! Danny's core rears its head, chanting, growling to protect his soulmate.

Danny is beyond unhappy and he's about to make it everyone's problem.

✦

Notes:

(1) Jason forgets everything he experienced in the afterlife with Danny and is even more confused than he previously would have been when resurrected. Memories only come back to him in bits and pieces when he comes into contact with beings of the supernatural and Danny himself or possibly when he sleeps.

(*) I believe an interesting way to show the events and progression for this prompt would be to switch back and forth between the current events of Under the Red Hood/Phantom's anger and the days they spent together in the Infinite Realms before they were literally torn away from each other. Either as standalone info or through the dreams Jason has as he sleeps but doesn't remember when he wakes.

The events of Under the Red Hood still happen, there's just the question of where he even was for the six months that he was dead added into the equation. Dead on Main tossed in there for flair, because why not? Been seeing a lot of "Jason becomes Danny's Fright Knight" fics, but I wanna see one where they're literally just a royal couple who rule the Infinite Realms with a just and fair hand.

[thatdeadaquarius]

I have recently come to the conclusion that if my Genshin Impact account was self aware, my Bennet would be slightly even more unlucky than a regular Bennet. This is due to my birthday and since its coming up I've been brainrotting for the past few days. Let me explain:

Bennet's birthday is February 29th, aka Leap Year. This means Benny only has a real birthday once every four years, which is bad enough. But according to canonical game lore, when he doesn't have his actual birthday, he celebrates it on the 28th.

My birthday is February 28th.

Now, I'd like to think that in your typical SAGAU the creator's birthday is a BIG DEAL. I'm talking festivals, parades, feasts, gifts exchanged between friends and family as well as gifts offered to the creator! The whole nine yards! An entire world partying from sunrise to moonset.

So with this in mind, Bennet's birthday would either be celebrated the day after the biggest holiday party in Teyvat (meaning everyone who attends would be all partied out) or during my birthday (meaning that everyone would be focused on ME instead of Bennet, which is just unfair! He can't even take pride in being born the same day as the creator b/c he was born the day after!!!!).

Anyway, if I was isekai'd to Genshin and worshipped as a god, I would simply give Bennet his own holiday. Poor kiddo deserves a win and if it takes me telling my acolytes quote, "Everyone will to celebrate Bennet's holiday. No exceptions, no excuses. And if his holiday party doesn't end up a success, I will destroy all of Teyvat and then myself. :3c" then so be it. That last statement is a joke, but watching everyone try their absolute hardest to give my adopted little brother the best birthday possible would be worth the fear of the vague threat of the world's destruction in the eyes of my worshipers me thinks.

If you add to this brainrot, please feel free to ignore that last part if everyone panicking over the possibility of apocalyptic destruction makes you uncomfortable. Likewise, don't rush this out by my birthday if you don't have time. I'm also in college and have multiple assignments due both before and after my birthday so I know this upcoming week will be hellish in terms of academics. So don't push yourself, okay?

So yeah. Thanks for reading! Hope you have a nice day!

JOKES ON YOU IM DOIN THIS FIRST BC ITS NEAR UR BIRTH WHEN I SAW THIS - HAHAHA (also timezones r wack so hope i timed it good enough for u lmao)

HOPE ALL UR ASSIGNMENTS VANISH / R SUPER EASY AND TAKE NO TIME AT ALL TO DO SO U HAVE MORE FREE TIME TO READ MY BIRTHDAY GIFT TO YOU ANON <3

Have a pretty miku hatsune gif <3

YEAH SO U ENTERED UR BDAY INTO GENSHIN U KNOW THAT RIGHT??

WELL SINCE THAT WAS THE BASICS OF THE GAME/AT THE START-

TEYVAT HAS KNOWN YOUR BIRTHDAY AS LONG AS LIFE HAS LIVED ON TEYVET LOL

◇

So if it's your birthday and you have been isekaied to Teyvat in time for it,

or been there for that long bc how does one un-isekai themselves?? anyway

and its like,, pandemonium.

bc idealistically u surprise these bitches around/close to ur birthday, so everyone's gettin in that festival mood and then BAM- itd be like if the spirits/demons showed up irl for Halloween randomly one year, like- ???!!!

so everyone's just

"well we usually have a lot of fun/praise the highest being anyway, hoping they'll hear us thru whatever barrier's between us (coughstupidcomputercough), but now... we've got to go harder than any century before guys, they're actually here, nobody panic, this isn't a drill- somebody fucking grab the champagne- "

◇

So for a second, imagine the sweetest anyone has ever been to you.

now imagine another person does something just as sweet for you, now add another, now add another, now add-

yeah i hope u got a hoddie so u can go to sweatertown when u get too embarassed/shy, bc the compliments??

"I really like your voice btw, this may sound strange but it was always so comforting pulling those all nighter for another akademiya project, and just hearing you joking around or humming, what felt like only for me or to keep me company ;) " - Lisa

"I hope you don't mind me doing this, as I wasn't trying to invade you privacy when I came upon this knowledge, but I thought it would make a useful gift. I know you were frustrated when you came here that there wasn't as much cosmetics so I used alchemy to aid your cause, this is some color changing nail polish-"

-Albedo has gotten u ur exact foundation shade, concealer, a skin clearing serum that works 100x better than any skincare routine u had going/or not lol, and if you dont really wear makeup or do skin care, he has a backup of all ur fav perfumes/colognes that u wish u had in ur old world (he heard u ranting abt wanting those scents/stuff u liked like cherries or sandalwood etc.)

◇

bc even if ur not the type to feel that way when ppl do things like that for u, i promise u will be by the end of your birthday week.

everyone in teyvat wants your first in person birthday to be perfect,

ESPECIALLY the allogenes, or the playable characters

doesn't even matter if your FTP and dont have a single character outside of the beginners,

(they all had access to things like your voice, your actions, your social media, yae miko may or may not have personally printed off enough copies of a book full of any selfies/pics with you in it to reach every corner of teyvat ahem, she means what- nothing at all my beautiful god-)

anyway that is to say, your birthday month is generally really bountiful, both in festivals and teyvat itself, regardless if its dead winter or scorching summer

◇

but for the sake of ANON'S BIRTHDAY-

You have now been forcibly converted into a Pisces - gasp - from this moment on,

ik tragic im an aquarius 😔,

Bc this is anon's Teyvat rn and we're just living in it

(genshincharactersaboutyoubelike-)

◇

You don't know which authority figure to thank first for helping organize your week so you can go to a different city's festival for you every day of your bday week, it must have been hell to make 💀

(rip ningguang alhaitham jean and ayaka/ayato yall will be missed 💧🙏)

U kind of worked ur way backwards actually from game release country's dates, like Sumeru, Inazuma, Liyue, Mondstadt

Bc when they asked if u had a preference u whole heartedly spoke up in front of a room full of arguably the most influential and powerful people on the continent, in the world really- well besides you-

"Mondstadt would be a great festival to have on my actual birthday! After all one of my best boys Bennett, also has his birthday that day too!" :)

...

.....somewhere in the Wolvendom wilds Bennett shivers with a bolt of anxiety,

Razor is confused and asks if he's ok, he gives a shaky thumbs up,

"yeah i just... got the scariest feeling.. like something bad's gonna happen on my birthday this week... haha probably nothing!... probably..."

◇

So everyone's been pretty chill and happy for Benny to be so favored/spoiled by you, esp since ur sharing ur bday (most ppl think ur a saint bc of this)

But for some pretentious assholes, who think traditions should be adhered to, they kinda dont even like the stuff ur changing-

"Oh well, if you don't just celebrate Benett's birthday with mine, and really anyone else who's bday is also mine, I'll just ruin your country ;) "

...

Some ppl get ur joking, like alhaitham would never believe u,

But these poor old fools, coughsagescough,

R just like-

"...an eldritch god is angry with us."

Needless to say u get ur way,

And poor Benny is just like, shaking in the corner, he can't tell if this is more unlucky or the luckiest he's been lol

(He's also one of the allogenes who did not rlly get ur joke lmao,,, also Itto💀)

◇

If your somehow not overhwhlemed by gifts and acts of service on ur birthday,

Benny is.

Benny is for you.

Lol, he's like gonna make himself sick bc he cant just say "No thanks" to all the ppl giving you food, but end up giving him some too by proxy

He cant even count how many candies and baked goods are weighing down his pockets

Oh did i mention you've just like, linked arms with the little guy and dragged him wherever Mond's citizens r dragging you for the birthday festivities :)

◇

While he was mostly just in shock all day, Benny does take the time to tear up and thank you for sharing your birthday*

(*both of your birthdays, u correct him all day)

Jean, Barabra, Diluc, Kaeya, Amber, Traveler, Razor Sucrose Fischl and Klee (and Varka + older adventurers/his dads)

are all super happy to finally see the poor kid get the biggest break ever for his birthday finally

Esp after they saw the last few... yknow... non-existant ones... bc he only has a bday every 4 years lol

◇

Nearly starts sobbing publicly when u give him a present for his bday too :')

And after you all do a big toast for an evening bday dinner, u hug him and he actually cries a little, and he squeezes u back super hard

"I always thought I was too unlucky to get a birthday like this, but I guess if even a god like you hasn't given up on me, I shouldn't give up on me either, thank you for the best birthday I've ever had Your Majesty!"

:')

♡

(Tho Klee did sneakily give u and him some of her best and brightest bombs as a bday gift, so he did get a little singed but he barely noticed lmao)

♡

I hope my ass writing/ideas was a decent bday gift anon! :0

I love Pisces sm, i hope ur bday was/will be incredible anon!! :) <33

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[starryficsfinishwen]

“I can't keep accepting your favours like this. I...need to do something in return.”

“Oh! How about this: peel this orange for me, then.”

Curiosity and confusion is evident in Chrome's face as you hold out the fruit in question in front of him.

On one particularly hot afternoon at the Strike Hawk Lounge, you are lounging in Strike Hawk's lounge, still wearing your pajamas with a few small oranges in your lap, with sleepy eyes obviously drowsy from your long nap. You are found sitting in one of the four bean bags in the room, specifically, Chrome's seat. Although the captain had no problems with that—he'd never even find any problems with you anyway— Chrome finds it endearing enough that you were handing him something that doesn't even need to do.

“Um...?”

“You don't like oranges?”

Chrome shakes his head, “No, I just...find it, quite odd. I thought you were going to ask for something hard to do, like carrying a sofa or a bed...”

“Are you kidding?” You wave your hand that held the orange, beckoning him, “Peeling oranges are hard enough! Come and sit, I have a trick to show you.”

“Is that the trick you wanted to show me?”

The hand-sized orange looks heavy, but had fit perfectly in the palm of your hand. You moved a little to have some space for Chrome to sit next to you. Smiling, you slip an identical orange in his unknowingly open hand.

“Could be!” Giggling, your fingers lightly graze the rind of the orange in his hand, “Look, peeling oranges are so time-consuming and messy at some point.”

Turquoise eyes trailed your every movement, intently studying what you were doing. Scratching the pedicel, or the top of the orange, you peeled off one part of your orange. Some juices poured out of the opening you've created, but you nonchalantly wiped it off by your arm

“You can get a lot of stains, too, if you're not careful. That's why it can be messy. Peeling the skin and the white parts off can be frustrating for me.”

Chrome understood, but as someone who had been eating orange by himself since he was young, he found it quite hard to comprehend your words. But seeing your focused eyes, he decided to keep on looking at you, nodding at your every word.

“It does seem like a lot of work.”

“Mm,” you nodded, a little grin on your lips when you've fully peeled the orange, “when I was younger, my mom would peel oranges for me, because I never liked doing it.”

He watches as you delicately pull off the white parts. Slowly, trying not to squish the orange. Carefully, trying not to spill. He watches and watches, in wonder, as the smile on your lips seems to grow brighter with your work, heat willingly growing in his chest.

“I realized,” you whispered, “that it must be love, then.”

Ah, love. The word that Chrome knew you were infatuated with, always looking for it in everything you do. It must have been interesting, for you, even when you were living in an apocalyptic world. You've had that conversation with Chrome, yet Chrome was still perplexed with your thought processes. But now, watching you underneath the lights, happily peeling away the orange, watching you smile— what was the feeling that was knocking in his chest?

“How so?” Chrome asked, leaning forward.

“Doing things willingly for someone without waiting for an exchange. You value that person a lot, so you would do anything for them, even the most mundane things.” You paused, looking at Chrome with a bright smile, “Isn't that the very value of love?”

Oh, Chrome understood you now. A little better, even.

His gaze sets in the orange in his hand, a little blush on his cheeks with the full realization of his feelings. “I see.”

“Here you go,” you proudly placed the orange in Chrome's free hand, cheekily grinning, “an orange for you.”

Oh. For once, realization hits Chrome harder than ever.

“Commandant,” Chrome said, the blush in his cheeks getting darker, “Are you insinuating something?”

You blinked at him before looking away. Amusement fills his eyes, eager to tease you as he sees your ears turn red.

“I-I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Commandant, why are you looking away from me, then?” Chrome pokes your cheeks, “Hm? Commandant?”

“J-just eat your orange, Chrome!”

Chrome's smile mirrored yours, “Let me peel one for you, Commandant.”

[three--rings]

You should read Little Mushroom

Hey guys! As followers know, I've just finished reading this cnovel and I'm here to do a formal rec of it.

What is Little Mushroom?

It's a chinese danmei (BL) novel by the author Shisi, originally published online, now available in official English translation from Peach Flower House.

What's it about?

This is a post-apocalyptic dystopian sci-fi novel where the protagonist is a mushroom.

What??

Yeah, he's an actual mushroom. Most of the Earth is a wasteland of radiation and mutated monsters, which means things are WEIRD AS FUCK. He comes from a particularly weird and dangerous place, and somehow he achieves sentience. His spore (child? infant? egg?) is stolen by a human and he finds a dying human called An Ze so he takes this human's form and memories and becomes human-shaped and calls himself An Zhe. Then he goes seeking out more humans to find and save his spore.

Okay, and this is a romance? With a mushroom?

Yes. Though this is honestly one of the danmei I've read that is lightest on the romance. Really the star of the show is the world-building and questions about humanity and ethics.

Characters:

An Zhe: The most adorable mushroom ever. You will love him. Everyone loves him. He's just a little mushroom trying to navigate a weird human world without the humans discovering he's really a "monster."

Lu Feng: The Arbiter, a judge authorized to kill anyone on sight that he suspects of being contaminated with xenogenic (monster) genes. And he does, a lot. Seemingly cold and unfeeling, hated by many if not most of the human population because he, yanno, keeps killing people, even if it's necessary to protect what remains of humanity. He spares An Zhe, though.

Other characters: Well, most of them don't last long. It's a vicious world. There's a lot of death. There are some nice side characters towards the end, though.

Why should I read this?

Look, it's just a really great book, okay? It's a book about a fairly grim future for humanity, and the things humanity is forced to do to survive, and dystopian elements and the struggles that result. It's about big ethical questions and big existential questions about whether humanity deserves to live and what the point of struggling to survive is...whether there is any hope for humanity and whether there's any point to hope at all.

And it's all told through the POV of a mushroom. Come on!

For all that, it's not a dark novel. The first half in particular feels pretty light, mostly because of the POV, granted. It's really funny in a lot of parts, but the undertone, the background is always this fairly grim stuff. Really unique juxtaposition. The second half gets deeper and really digs into the existential questions. And yeah it made me cry towards the end.

Minor spoilers from here on

But it does have a happy ending for the main characters and the romance, and a hopeful if not entirely happy one for humanity as a whole.

The romance is fairly light on the ground in this. An Zhe is a mushroom and he doesn't really understand sex or romance or have much interest in it for most of the book, despite people constantly trying to GET him interested. Lu Feng is clearly in the background developing feelings, but An Zhe is oblivious and just worried about his mushroom concerns, yanno? Eventually there are feelings-realization and they end up together, but it's still doesn't feel like a traditional romance. I'd say it's very ace friendly even if there are hints of sexual off-screen stuff.

Other reasons to read it:

It's short for a cnovel, and it flies by. This was my main vacation reading that I took to the pool and it was perfect. And I FLEW through vol 2 in a couple of sittings.

It's got a very nice translation and you should support this lesser known novel getting an English publication from a publisher that isn't Seven Seas.

Where do I buy it?

Both physical volumes are available from Peach Flower House. Or you can get ebooks from various ebook sellers, including Amazon. (Right now Amazon also has the paperbacks, but when I was buying they didn't.)

More Info.

[chnt-confessions]

i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.

we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)

also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3

(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!

[utilitycaster]

What are some of your favourite podcasts / podcast recs?

It's hard to pick a favorite though I will say at the moment Midst is the one I think I look forward to the most, so I'm just going to go through basically all podcasts I currently or relatively recently previously listened to and sort them by rough genre. Note that as with all recommendation requests it helps to know the vibe of what you're going for and what's important to you (I know I just was like hey I'll take most music recs but the commitment for music is like the length of a song, whereas podcasts/books/movies/tv are a bit more time put in)

Actual Play:

Longtime listener of NADDPod and TAZ which I'm guessing if you follow me you are broadly aware of but if not feel free to ask more; I also post about Worlds Beyond Number enough that you might know what it is. I checked out Burnt Cookbook party a while ago both because I liked Jenna Stoeber's work with Polygon and because someone asked me for Actual Play podcast-only recs with more than one woman or nb player that weren't RQG and I was like oh I should find some. Anyway it's quite good! it's definitely lower production values than bigger podcasts but the plot is highly original and really good, the vibes are fantastic, the characters are a lot of fun, and all in all worth checking out. I also do listen to the Re-Slayer's Take which I've really enjoyed! Everyone's good but while I was familiar with (and a fan of) Jasmine Bhullar and Jasper William Cartwright's work, Jasmine Chiong as Farah speaks to the Grouchy Old Hunter Woman fan in me and has been a personal standout. It is very heavily edited, which does take some getting used to. Also, I mentioned RQG (Rusty Quill Gaming). It comes with the caveat of "very good but slow to start and then doesn't really stick the landing, imo, though the epilogues help" but I can recommend with that warning.

Scripted Fiction

Camlann. Modern post-apocalyptic Arthuriana/Folklore of the British Isles, with some hints of other folklore as well. 1 season; hoping they get funding for a second because it was very well done and also I want Gwen and Morgan to kiss.

Midst. Hard to describe but if you follow me you've seen a lot of posts that might help. Extremely good! About to finish in a bit over a week's time! Check it out and I advice you check out the first 3 episodes at once to get a feel for it; the three-narrator thing is also "get used to it and it will be fine".

The Penumbra Podcast. Originally envisioned as an anthology podcast but then two specific settings (noir-y space opera and medieval court monster hunters) were very popular. Also nearing its end.

The Silt Verses. Quite literally everything on this list would be described as "New Weird" and "has queer characters" and this is maybe the New Weirdest. Anyway, set in a world where gods are real, require human sacrifice to live, and society is both very complicit and also uses the gods to sell shit. I think people who are mad about D20 or CR not being explicitly political enough should listen to it. Extremely good. Also in its endgame, but they've had a very drawn out schedule as of late.

Welcome to Night Vale. You are on Tumblr; presumably you know the drill. I can't say I'm like...super following what happens but it's one of those things that's been a constant in my life for over a decade and takes up a very pleasant hour-ish per month. This feels like damning with faint praise but the earlier stuff was great and it's still strong, it's just, you know, the inevitable slowness of an indefinitely long slice-of-life-ish show vs. the more plot-driven ones above.

Within the Wires. By one of the Night Vale Creators. I have a post about it but it's set on an alternate history Earth where a cataclysmic war/plague/various other bad things absolutely destroyed the population in the early 1900s, leading to a very different global society. Some people say the seasons are very uneven in quality. They are incorrect. The seasons follow different people and all are in the form of found audio, so they are all quite different, but it's entirely a matter of personal preference if you like a season or not; it's not that some are Objectively Better.

Wolf 359 finished a long time back and I haven't relistened since my original listen in like...2018, but of "podcasts that have finished" it's worth it. Weird space stuff.

Informative(?)

Home Cooking by Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat; was a pandemic project that now only airs yearly, really, but worth checking out if you like cooking.

I found out about Home Cooking via Song Exploder, which is just Hrishikesh Hirway talking about songs. Great podcast; the editing is fascinating and I have found a lot of good music from it!

I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats. Has only two seasons but they are both very good if you like The Mountain Goats as a band.

No Such Thing as a Fish: the QI (British quiz show) (if you're British you know this better than I do) researches talk about weird facts and riff on them.

Sawbones: Justin McElroy and his wife Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy talk about weird medical history and dumb wellness trends on tiktok. This is one of the earliest podcasts I subscribed to back when I did not drive nearly as much.

The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green. Has also completed and there's a book that's basically covering the same ground. It's not like, purely informative; it's very anecdotal (as is I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats) but I learned a lot from it.

Honorable mention: I just didn't have the time or energy to keep up with Ologies by Alie Ward but what I listened to was fun and interesting and my sibling is a big fan.

Comedy and Miscellany:

Beef and Dairy Network: also British, on the Max Fun network with the McElroys. Fucking weird. I debated putting this in the scripted fiction because it's basically "what if Welcome to Night Vale was a little less story focused but still had throughlines and was specifically about the cattle industry in some absurdist alternate version of our world" but stuck with comedy bc the absurdity outstrips the plot. It's weird!

My Brother, My Brother, and Me: you probably know this one; either you love it or you don't.

My Dad Wrote a Porno: also British and from what I understand a bigger deal over there. Has uh. reached completion, in that they decided they were done, but the books apparently go on (sorry Rocky I'm not buying them). A guy and his two good friends read and roast his father's self-published erotica e-books about Belinda Blumenthal, Pots and Pans saleswoman, ft. bad accents, corporate espionage, and, of course, The Duchess.

The Empty Bowl: Justin McElroy and Dan Goubert of Cerealously's ASMR podcast about cereal. legitimately has helped me calm down when anxious at night. I am not even a big cereal eater it's just entertaining and chill.

Anyway any other podcasts I have listened to I've either forgotten, weren't good enough to recommend, just disappeared without any conclusion [*cough* king falls am] or involve way more reservations than I am willing to go into without knowing more about what you are looking for.

[littleststarfighter]

Frerard fic recs part two

I have some more Frerard fic recs to share. Part one can be found here. If anyone has any recs I’d love to hear back. Please, as always these are just things I like, so they might not be to everyone's taste. I’m a bit of a fan of slow burn, pining and angst so that tends to pop up a lot. More to come as I’m reading so much lately.

This Tornado Loves You by theopteryx

1933. Frank's been on the run a long time and he's forced to stop in his old hometown. At first things are about what he expects - old friends, unpleasant memories, and a less-than-desirable home life. Everything changes one night when he stumbles on an old hedge maze hidden in the woods. It's not the hedge maze that intrigues him the most, though, but the secrets of the house hidden inside.

his ruins were beautiful by Softlyforgotten

A post-apocalyptic AU. "There's a boy in the next town," Toro says, "but people say he's crazy."

Heaven's Grief= Hell's Rain by Honestmouse

Gerard's your typical college drop out. He lives in his parent's basement. His best friend is his little brother. He has a whole truck load of shit wrong with his head and a past he doesn't want to talk about.

While Frank, on the other hand, isn't quite as average. He's a demon, hundreds of years old. He loves his job, really he does. He's on Hell's Guard, after all.

So, how hard would the world shake if the two meet?

Septicemia by Orphan_account

Gerard keeps ruining things, but he never means it. Frank keeps getting hurt, but he never feels it.

living for the knife By drunkonyou

Ten years ago Frank fell victim to a knife-wielding serial killer and not only walked away with his life, but with a set of comic-book-like abilities that he’s tried to make the best of.

Four years ago Gerard fell victim to that same killer, and not only walked away with his life, but with the inspiration to start a radio show dedicated to the man in the mask who saved him.

Growing tired of his role as New York’s resident vigilante, Frank is more than ready to retire the act — until he discovers that the man who tried to kill him has somehow escaped a life sentence and is now terrorizing Gerard live on air.

Who’s to say history doesn’t repeat itself?

Desecrated Kids by wellthisisprettyrisque (brainwitchletty)

Everyone moves into a new town and thinks it's strange. Stepping out of the car with a weird feeling tingling down the back of your neck isn't actually that unheard of, but finding that unmarked grave in the woods behind your house is.

Frank Iero wonders if his mother moved him here so he'd disappear off the face of the planet, or if she actually wants the body to be found. All he knows is that this town has some horrible things happening to it, and no one seems to care enough to lift their heads and actually see. He has no idea what's going on, and is one of the few people that wants to find out.

Luckily, Gerard is a few steps ahead of him.

24 Frames Per Second - The Belleville Fright Night Experiment of 1984 by Leandra

The 1984-Movie!AU: 1984: With new multiplexes opening up all over America, the run-down Belleville Film Palace is probably the least exciting place to work at for a teenager. Except if you’re a movie nut like projectionist Gerard and his closely knit circle of loser friends. When cocky and confident Frank joins their team as an usher, Gerard really doesn't think he'll stick around. Besides, there's something about Frank that just rubs Gerard the wrong way. Then an unforeseen event threatens the future of the movie theater and Gerard starts to questions things he's always taken for granted…

Remember Me as a Time of Day by cedarbranch

When it came to Frank's senior year of high school, he was prepared for the worst.

But he definitely wasn't prepared for a crash course on the supernatural world, a new school ruled by gossip, or a guy called Gerard with more sadness in his eyes than any living soul could take.

White Scars on the Necks of Teen Angels by wellthisisprettyrisque (brainwitchletty)

In the blazing month of April of 1958, Frank Iero considered himself a greaser punk old enough and wise enough to truly understand just how under appreciated and underestimated he was, as an eighteen year old teen writhing in the black leather world of greasers and subterraneans, freaks and reds. He could think ten more original thoughts by his first lazy jack off in the morning than half these assholes had in the whole damn school year, and Frank knew it.

On the outside, Frank was cool and aloof, and that was how he was meant to be. But inside, he was a god damn fream of a kid who had too many genius thoughts tumbling around than could be healthy. Ignorance was bliss, but Frank Iero? He was wide awake.

Gerard Way was that artsy kid that would have never caught his eye if he hadn't seen the kid walk out of the hospital covered in bruises. But now that Frank knew he existed, he couldn't look away.

I'm Just The Boy Who's Had Too Many Chances by MCRmyGeneral

Gerard knows his town. He knows his school, his classmates. He knows his family, and his dark, isolated room. He knows he's an artist, he knows he loves metal and punk music, he knows he likes horror maybe a little too much. And he knows he's gay, though he's never even whispered it out loud, not with his parents. He knows where he stands, he's got life figured out. High school, then art school, then hopefully comic book writer.

Until the cute new neighbor boy, Frank is thrown into the mix. Frnak also knows just where he stands in life; he's an impulsive little bastard that doesn't care about consequences; he just wants to have fun. Frank is the exact opposite of Gerard; he's not afraid to stand up for himself, he's loud, he's unafraid, and he's openly gay.

Gerard thought he had life all figured out. Then he met Frank. It's safe to say that Belleville, Belleville High, and most importantly, Gerard, will never be the same.

The Mess We've Made by ViciousVenin

Gerard isn't sure where his life is going. It feels like the world is shifting and changing around him and he's stuck in place, unable to move forward. But when he meets a guy at a club who tells him he's meant for something better, Gerard wants to believe him, and suddenly he's taking steps he never thought he would.

Somewhere In Neverland by chimneythunder

Gerard Way is living back at his parent’s house as a 28 year-old in recovery from alcoholism and severe depression. He’s supposed to be looking after Pete Wentz, the brattiest eight-year old he’s ever had the misfortune to meet, when Pete gets kidnapped by none other than Captain Hook and taken to Neverland. Before you can say “clap your hands if you believe in fairies”, Gerard’s been whisked off to Neverland by his old not-so-imaginary friend Peter Pan to save the kid and have some wonderful adventures of his own.

However, things are never as simple as they should be, and if Gerard ever wants to save Pete and get back home, he’s going to have to confront some very adult truths about himself, and in the meantime, he's also going to have to delve into the Peter Pan mythology and discover the truth about the boy who never grew up.

Harder Harmonies by melanch0licpumpkin WIP

Gerard finds himself trying to juggle touring nationally with his band and navigating his confusing and complicated relationship with one of his bandmates. With the band starting to make waves and gaining more attention, the idea of actual success and fame terrifies Gerard in a way he never expected, leaving him with the distinct sensation of drowning with no safe harbor in sight. He has also fallen hopelessly in love with Frank, an energetic and chaotic guitarist with a big heart and glaring commitment issues.

Nobody cares if you're losing yourself. Am I losing myself?

[nerdraging4point0]

Fluffy Head cannons

I'm giving you guys a small preview of each of our beloved men. My inbox is open to either elaborate or add more to these head cannons. But here we are! Let's get to it!

This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind this is a work of fiction, so enjoy it as such.

Taglist: @jay02bo @asilentsiren @kingdomof-omens @the-way-of-words @thebadchic @signs-of-ill-portent @thesazzb @synthetic-wasp-570 @tearfallpixie @witchyweeb34

Okay, so, let's start with how absolutely proud of you this man is. He is so into you, so enthralled by you that he wants to shout it from the rooftops. But social media will just have to do. He Posts about you every chance he gets, while he is home, while he is on tour.

Captions: "Miss you more than words could describe. Can't wait to be home." "Touring is something else, it's a wonderous way to experience the world. And I can conquer it all with you by my side."

When he is home from tour it's a chance for him to actually sit back and relax. We all know he doesn't do a lot of that, poor boy has so many projects in that beautiful brain of his and he wants nothing more than to get it all out. Always supportive of him, but sometimes you catch him in the office-close his laptop. Take him by the hands and bring him to the living room to watch some shit show, anything where he doesn't have to use any brain cells to think. Just lays there with you and relaxes.

Popcorn fights. Movie nights would turn into the both of you tossing popcorn back and forth on the couch seeing how many each of you could catch midair.

Have you seen those old school movies where the married couple is in bed reading their own perspective books, like their life is somehow put together. Yeah. It's like that. He would be there reading his current post-apocalyptic book he picked up because it was one that he hadn't read yet, getting to the point of the book where the character is starving and on deaths door; your next to him reading your dark romance book about a Fae king who kidnapped the main character and is now currently railing her in front of his entire court. It's all about balance people.

Vlogs are all about capturing you in ways that may annoy you. You slept in and he rose early, he'd grab his camera barging into the room as your waking up "Babe, give me an update." "I just woke up, Richard." Vlogs of the trips to the grocery store, puns and jokes in the vegetable isle, taping how you have to climb on the shelves to get what you want-because let's face it, neither of you are tall enough to reach the top shelf and asking for help is for pussies. There would be random takes of you eating at the dinner table, your eyes transfixed on the TV as you watched your favorite show, close ups of your face.

[sageofmagic-squeaks]

I finished reading Dorohedoro and it is fantastic. Love it. It has the energy I was hoping to get when I picked up Chainsaw Man. And hilariously it has just as much gore but bothers me less because the world building supports it better imo.

The comparison is probably not fair, but reading through Chainsaw Man I really did hyper focus on how demons are just kinda everywhere mass killing tons of people a day, often on a scale of a major natural disaster, but society was visually the same as 'modern' times. There wasn't any tangible effect on the environment long term.

But then Dorohedoro's world just has to say 'yeah this is like some post apocalyptic setting' and they can mad max it up without my brain trying to rationalize anything. Everything looks grungy, they have a day dedicated to killing zombies, only a few characters are actually living the life and most come from poverty. Like idk I was able to vibe more with all the fighting that way. Also the main guy has a lizard head so I am auto open to more shenanigans AND BOY DOES IT DELIVER ON SHENANIGANS.

I love all the characters. Also you'd think having a character who can revive people from the dead and another that can heal from mincemeat would lower tension but nah, fights and inuries stay engaging. I guess it makes tension switch from 'oh nooo they might dieeee' to 'HOW WILL THEY GET OUT OF THIS ONE'

I did have some issues following the mystery of Caimen, but to be fair I'm like fast reading through a series that was worked on for over 18 years so ofc I'm probably gonna see more holes and plot changes. And it wasn't a deal breaker at all. Another odd thing ig is how often characters are naked. Like...I want to say the girls were more naked than the guys but no?? Dudes be naked a lot too. But it kind of highlights how bizarre nudity censorship can get. They can flat out show titties and ...oddly enough NOT block between the legs as long as it's not detailed or there's a shadow to imply a bush???? But then guys they absolutely need to block any and everything around the dick. Granted the girls are still way more fanservice-y, but at the same time it doesn't feel as skeevy because no one reacts to it in story. Like this is such a bizarre thing for me to focus on. But so many times the ladies would lose their clothes or something and the guys would either ignore it entirely or tell them to get redressed like you would tell someone to tie their shoes. And the undressed lady would also be so non reactive to it. Idk just feels so noteworthy when I've seen so many manga with the men trying to cope a feel or look or otherwise violate space and here nobody cares. Be serious and put your shirt back on. We got sorcerers to kill.

Also everyone's a dumbass. Everyone.

Also also...I like how experimental the artist gets with mixed media at times. Like one side chapter flat out had HIGHLIGHTER or what looked like highlighter and that was neat. Can't recall seeing another manga embrace messy like that.

Anyways enjoy these random out of context things I grabbed to show my friends. Hilariously didn't grab any with En crew or Nikaido despite loving them but maybe I felt those moments were better in context :/c

[wuzeio]

i keep brainworming over your recent zombie au piece [kicks feet in air] tell me more 🫶 (if you wanna)

OUGGH GHDJFG IM SO GLAD 🫶🫶🫶T___T i think the AU fits AFTG especially really well!! My fav zombie apocalypse media is the Telltale Walking dead games so ... lots of inspiration drawn from that (and ofc Last of us for that good ol "oh they have immunity against the virus" trope") (also train of busan/TWD show for outbreak origin inspo)

How the virus outbreak starts in this AU: honestly have not thought about the specific details but the gist of it is that a deadly mutagen accidentally gets developed in a biotech lab while conducting experiments on animals >someone gets bit > starts to show signs and turns into zombie > more people get bit > everybody has the virus now, turns into a global pandemic

some char background/

Andrew and Aaron would have already been living together before the outbreak, and Nicky only lives likes 10ish minutes away from them. When all hell breaks loose, Nicky's parents get killed by a zombie hoard and he immediately goes to Andrew and Aaron to join up for safety. Andrew realizes that remaining where they are is only going to get them killed, so they drive his car out of the state in hopes to find a safer place (smart!).

I don't think Drew's group encounter Kevin and Neil until a few years later, when the apocalyptic world has become the norm and its all about survival now (maybe around 3-4 years?). The monsters have joined forces with different groups and even joined a few settlements in the past, but they find that they work best alone, just the three of them. Fortunately they have enough connections to make supply trades if its ever needed; Nicky's the interlocutor and peacemaker.

Kevi ... he would've still grown up in the Nest and played Exy in this AU. When the outbreak occurs there, the Ravens are trapped with the infected and it's basically a brutal death for all of them. Kevin and Riko manage to escape (with Riko ruthlessly killing a few teammates-turned-zombies on his way out, no hesitation!) Kevin and Riko have a very close relationship during the first few years of the apocalypse, but its more of Riko putting a leash on his brother and demanding him to do certain tasks. Kevin is strong and has lots of stamina, so he's incredibly reliable in an abundance of duties. Riko is also not above betraying groups they "befriend", and does not hesitate to kill or sell someone out when he thinks its better for their survival. Near the 3rd year mark, tensions between the two brothers begin to rise as Kevin starts to express his discomfort towards Riko's actions. They start to fight more often, and Kevin starts to rebel a little more. In turn, Riko gets increasingly paranoid about their dwindling supply stock/the fact that Kevin might betray him, so he ends up making a trade with a group of nearby raiders: Kevin for 6 months of supplies. Kevin, obviously, is horrified when he realizes this betrayal and deception. On the second night with the raiders, he manages to fight 4 of them off and runs off into the night. He meets Drew's group 3 months later. (btw kevin running off means that riko is now after him, because those raiders were not happy about what happened)

Neil!! He's in his last year of HS (still plays Exy for their team) when Mary convinces him to run away with her from their abusive father. In this AU she also steals a shit load of money from him and they take a plane to Georgia. The zombie outbreak occurs whilst on their run, and they manage to survive together for the first year. They make their way to South Carolina, but Mary gets killed during a crossfire started by bandits and...Neil is left alone now.

(note: I changed somethings regarding Neil/Kevin's relationship. Scratch them having past family connections!) He desperately tries to join up with a few groups, but all of them result with him either being assaulted or robbed from. The one group he finally finds and begins to feel a kinship with, he ends up being betrayed. Guess who the group is!! It's Kevin and Riko! After a near death experience with that, he's jaded, wary, and untrusting towards anyone. He's learned that staying alone gives him the highest rate of survival— that it's not the zombies that are the most dangerous. Those are easy to kill. A few smashes to the head and they're dead. But people, they're capable of doing the most evil, heinous things. (cue : " “It’s not the world that’s cruel. It’s the people in it.") oh also. he finds out hes immune after getting bit in the hand. He freaks out, introspects for a few days, and comes to the conclusion that he's going to kill himself before he turns. But it never happens.

3 years later, he's a seasoned veteran when it comes to surviving on his own. However, from a stroke of bad luck, he ends up getting hit by crossbow arrow in the forest while scavenging. This is how Drew finds him.

uhhh there's a lot more ideas in my head but I'm gonna wrap it up here because this got wayyy too long hehe thank you if you read it all... honestly this ask was very helpful because it helped me work out this AU in detail a lot more >:D

[klerothesnowman]

Why You Should Play A Different TTRPG, but without treating you like an idiot this time

As the anti WotC discourse continues to intensify I am once again reminded that nerds are famously really, really bad at selling people on things.

I don't blame us for it, we're all neurodivergent here, it's a safe space. But now that D&D is becoming a little "Ethically Challenging" to continue to engage with and let's be completely honest here guys, isn't inspiring much hope with its recent releases it's becoming increasingly pertinent to encourage people to reach out to other RPG games.

You've no doubt heard the refrain before, someone tries to do a political Game of Thrones-esque campaign in 5e and someone chimes up and says "5e isn't designed for this you should play a DIFFERENT game." It's a conversation we've been circling the drain around for so long. And the thing is, these people are kind of right, but with enough wrong in their argument that makes it unhelpful. Because look, you've been running your political 5e game for a while, or you've been watching a Crown of Candy, you have SEEN it work, you KNOW it can work. So when people come at you with the absolutist argument of "A campaign like this can't work in 5e" they've already lost the discussion. A campaign like that CAN work in 5e. But. It will work in 5e despite 5e. It will work, but only after the DM has invented reasons you can't use magic to solve the problem, either by preventing you from doing it in the first place or by introducing magical counters to that magic. And if it's the latter, that tilts the board a little further, because now the setting is one that has high powered mages deeply involved with the political game. Great if that's what you're angling for, but a bit of a problem if you're not.

The gameplay of a game informs how the game feels to play. D&D has a lot of mechanics for combat, and not a lot of mechanics for political RP. To bring up A Crown of Candy again, everyone playing that game is a skilled improv actor, they can rock the Political RP. But how often does things turn into a big fight? That's the game of D&D rearing itself again.

But look, you've probably heard this before right? Even this isn't a new argument. But here's what I think people miss out on. Showing examples from the other side of the fence.

This whole post has actually been an excuse to talk about Wildsea

The Wildsea is a cool indie RPG that my group has been playing recently. It's a post apocalyptic game where flora grew at an absurdly accelerated rate, covering the entire world in rapidly growing trees and vines. Now, people live on the top of mountains or bits of earth pulled up by the trees, and sail across The Wildsea on big ships with chainsaws on the front that cut their way through the treetops. It's weird and mysterious, with a lot of character options to make weird and mysterious characters. But also, crucially, the various aspects of its design from how it handles travel, character building and conflicts reward creativity and narrative focused play in a way that 5e just doesn't. And it all comes together to invoke a very specific vibe.

In Wildsea your character is built from three options, your Bloodline, your Origin and your Post. All three of these options give you access to an equal number of potential "Aspects" for your character. As an example, one character could have the Bloodline of an Ektus, tall cactus people, the Origin of Anchored, the ghost of a deceased Wildsailor and have the Post of a Char, the ship's Cook.

These three options are all really whacky in of themselves, but what's cool is that how important they are depends on how much you invest into them. If you primarily want to play a Cactus Person, who defends themselves with their spines and filters water through their flesh, you can take more Aspects from your Bloodline. If you want to play a Ghost, floating through walls and throwing around objects like a poltergeist you take more Aspects from your Origin. If you want to be Sanji from One Piece, constantly on the look out for cool ingrediants to cook with, you take more Aspects from your Post. All options are equally viable, and available to you.

Compare that to 5e. In 5e (specifically 5e, I haven't messed with the new stuff) your character is built from three point five options (Plus Feats, but I'll get to them). Your Race, your Background, your Class and your Subclass. Your race gives you extra bonuses to your stats and some flavour abilities. Your Background gives you extra skill proficiencies and a flavour ability. Your class and subclass meanwhile give you your entire suite of gameplay options.

As an example, one character could have the Race of Dhampir, a half vampire, the Background of Noble and the Class of.... Let's say, Rogue with the Subclass Swashbuckler. I'm trying to make something like Alucard here, from Castlevania. The son of Dracula, using his vampiric powers for the good of humanity.

Baseline, this is pretty good. But... What if I wanted to lean into the Vampire aspect really hard? As a Dhampir I gain access to the ability to walk on walls and a bite that deals 1d4 damage and restores health/boosts my next roll. And that's kind of it. It's not something I can build my entire character around, that 1d4 damage gets out classed very quickly. What if I wanted to go all in on being a noble? Well my options are even bleaker there, as your Background only gives you a single hyper specific ability that wont be applicable to anything else.

My character is my Class, and my Class is a linear path that's decided for me in the first three levels. I've chosen Swashbuckler, but what if the reason I wanted to play a Swashbuckler was so that I could use my charms and Panache to bedazzle and beguile my opponents? Well... Panache is a skill that you don't get access to until level 9. If I chose this class for this character fantasy, I'm not going to be able to achieve it until half way into my character build, meaning a very large chunk of the campaign is going to involve me not doing what I wanted this character to do.

What's more, if someone else is playing a Swashbuckler our characters are effectively going to be played exactly the same. The Vampiric Noble Swashbuckler will be indistinguishable from the Renegade Drow Street Urchin Swashbuckler during play.

The image of a party of adventurers sitting around the campfire is pretty iconic to D&D. The downtime is very important to players roleplaying, it gives everyone a moment to stop, have their character relax, and provide an environment to discuss things with other players. There's a reason there are so many commissioned art pieces of PCs interacting around a fire. There's a reason Baldur's Gate 3 made it the place you primarily interact with your party members.

The thing is though... Are you actually encouraged to? Mechanically, this is a Long Rest. It's how the majority of classes restore their abilities and that's basically it. The opportunity is there to do more through RP, but the encouragement and reward to do so is entirely on the player. How many times has your D&D party gone. "Okay we camp and do a long rest"? Be honest with me here. You're not thinking too deep about it. It's a moment to stop because you need to stop for the next combat encounter. There is nothing encouraging you to do more than that than your own desire for it. For some groups that's enough, but not every group can do that, sometimes a group really needs a little push in the right direction.

It's the same with traveling. The D&D party traveling from location to location is equally as iconic. But in practice what does that actually look like? Same with when I asked how often your D&D party brushed over the rest, how often do they brush over the travel? How often do you just have one or two "Who goes on watch tonight?" rolls and call it a day?

In Wildsea, traveling across the treetops on your chainsaw boat is the game. It's what it's all about. There's a whole ass character sheet for your vehicle for when you need to get gnitty gritty with it, but typically your travel journey will be handled by a montage of actions. Instead of just having a single PC making an obligatory "On Watch" roll, characters can take a variety of tasks like watching the weather, tending the engines, cartographizing, working the helm. Your characters are encouraged, required, to take a position on the ship and work.

What's more, "resting" isn't really a thing like in D&D. Much of the itemization of Wildsea revolves around managing specific resources, Salvage, Specimens and Whispers (which is magic stuff that I wont really be touching on.). Instead of health points your skills and equipment can take damage, which you can recover during these montages. You can use Specimens to cook meals which heal your wounds, you can use Salvage to repair your broken equipment or make new things. Specimens and Salvage can also come with extra tags, providing bonus effects when used. You can also gain Aspects for yourself and your ship that provide recurring access to these resources, or ways to improve them and add tags.

What this translates to in gameplay is that traveling in Wildsea becomes a combination of doing your job on the ship, your chores and your personal projects. You might find it weird that I'm describing a task as a "Chore" positively, but I think it's the perfect description because it sells an aspect of the game world, and the game itself.

The Wildsea is a post apocalypse setting. A major aspect of this game's world is all the different ways that people have adjusted to living in this environment. Having a series of menial tasks like tending to your night garden and hauling up the fishing trawlers that attract bugs to eat puts you, the player, in this environment. By making meals your method for healing it puts you, the player, into a position where a well cooked meal is something immediately desirable from a practical position. It makes getting your group together for a big dinner impactful, not just from a roleplay position but from a mechanical one too. It makes roleplaying a person just trying to get by in this world the gameplay. It encourages you to care about meals and salvage.

There's no guidance for this stuff in 5e. In fact, 5e discourages it. If you want your character to be a chef in 5e there are two options to you. Proficiency with Cook's Utensils and the Chef feat. The Cook's Utensils provide you with the ability to cook meals. If you roll above a 15 the meal is "Gourmet". This doesn't really mean anything. It also allows you to "Prepare Meals" that give a whole single hitpoint more when you rest. It's not very impactful. Meanwhile the Chef Feat allows you to also cook meals, "provided you have ingredients". There's no reason to seek certain ingredients of a higher grade or anything, and in my experience it's more likely for the DM to turn around and say you don't have access to ingredients to try and make narrative tension rather than reward the player for keeping track of them. These meals you can cook restore a little bit more HP, and can provide temporary HP too.

The thing is, Feats in D&D are something you have a very limited amount of, and they're not created equally. Chef is more useful than some, but taking Chef still means your combat ability is diminished. Taking Chef means you can't take feats that are more versatile and impactful.

This is why people encourage you to play games tailor made to deliver on certain vibes and themes rather than playing everything in 5e. Because they can more effectively deliver the experience that you're looking for, without needing to struggle against the system in the first place. It guides people toward certain behaviors and rewards choices that suit the vibe. Even the best roleplayers can do even better with a bit of guidance.

[pepplemint]

I really wanted to know your take on people saying Knives’ violates Vash’s boundaries Post July incident and Pre July when Vash was confronted with his plant powers for the first time. Doesn’t Vash’s internalised speciesism play a major role in this and how he constantly denies his plant side in an attempt to be more “human”, to fit more into human society? I’d love your thoughts on this

Sorry for a waay late response, I needed to sit on this for a while.

First, yeah he does violate Vash's boundaries. Boundaries are based on emotions. You can have boundaries that are at odds with what is good for you, like refusing medicine or help or like, even a person of particular nationality talking to you could be crossing your boundaries. Which isn't to say that's a good analogy for Vash, but, yanno. Even if it is 100% speciesism it's still a violation of boundaries, all violence are. But on to me overthinking it -

I think you have a point. But I'm me so I'm gonna need a whole deconstruction to go through why as usual.

HUMAN VS. PLANT

I never really got the impression Vash ever tried to be human (correct me if I'm wrong). People assume he is human if they see him and there's no reason most of the time to say he isn't, because frankly, most people would think he's crazy if he's claimed to be a plant. Like a random modern dude calling himself a living nuclear reactor or something. You know at least somewhat what that looks like, and this dude ain't it.

Even if it's easy to forget due to the almost apocalyptic setting, the story takes place far into the future. There's a lot of technology that we would straight up call magic if we saw it. There is people like Midvalley or Legato or Elendira who frankly either one of them could wipe out a town on their own without touching a single person, or the Eye of Michael that got medicines that can treat any fatal wound in seconds. Being human in this world isn't really what we think of when we call something human.

WHAT IS INSTINCTUAL POWER AND WHAT IS NEW POWER TO VASH?

To figure that out, at first we must say what it ISN'T. So I guess what we got to go off of is Tesla. The files mention rapid regeneration (healing). This seems in line with Vash too, who doesn't have any visible scarring before Knives leaves him, despite us having a flashback-panel of him getting shot. Brad hints while talking to Wolfwood that Vash is letting the scars stay on his body, as a way to take responsibility and not forget. The same should be true for his missing arm - he should be able to recreate it, so it must be a choice not to. So a point to you for the whole tries not to be a plant-thing. But there's also the panels of Knives when he and Vash separate. He has a blade-like protrusion on his arm, that can extend. This means that they are both aware even back then that they can mold their bodies somewhat to their own will, and that's also an innate plant power. And yet -

Vash is mystified by the power that Knives shows him. The thing him and Conrad checks on is Vash's gate, so that seems to be what Vash doesn't know about, which means that when Knives brought out the blade or any of the other situations, it wasn't really the same as using their gate. Could Vash also form knife-arms all along but chose guns for the aesthetic? We know. Nothing!!!! 😭 About how much they knew about their powers or used them or what they did for all those years (a human lifetime) before splitting. And we know little to nothing about what their gate does either, more than store huge power!

What we only see them do after accessing the gate is create negative space (not scientific term, don't come for me). It's apparently not quite a black hole according to Nightow, but something similar that "we haven't discovered" (it's made up in other words). Also when they're unable to control the gates power, their body morphs out of control with wings and shit.

But that can't be the only thing - there's a feeling connected to opening the gate, something like a power surge, a "feeling of freedom". So could it just literally be a power storage? The ability suddenly to use your already existing powers in ways that you thought you couldn't because it took too much energy? Knives says it can be hard to control, but he sure does NOT expect Vash to go ka-boom like he does! We don't know for sure what he thought would happen. Something less destructive for sure, but more than that, nothing. Frankly? I don't think Nightow really put that much thought into it. (Possibly to drive me personally insane.)

Either way....

WHAT THE HELL EVEN HAPPENS IN JULY?

This is what we objectively know happens:

- Vash finds Knives in July with intentions to "take care" of him. Knives greets him and Vash threatens him, which Knives responds to by cutting Vash's leg/felling him

- Vash follows Knives down a set of stairs. We can't say if he's doing it on his own or if he's being forced.

- Vash is put on a medical table so Bill Conrad/Knives can take readings on his gate. This is probably not something he consented to, considering he's strapped down and also asleep. Conrad and Legato leaves town between this part and the next.

- Vash and Knives talks about the "power" (more on that) that has been opened up to Vash. We don't know how much time has passed, but it's fair to say at least a day or even a few. Interesting to note is that he's been given back his gun.

- Vash has trouble controlling the power so Knives tells him to resonate with him so he can help. When Knives also start questioning him about his scars, he goes into defensive mode and aims his gun at his face - Knives still forces him to resonate (by touching his face, this is also how it happens between Vash and the plant on the train), which, honestly, pretty gutsy considering he did shoot him the last time they saw eachother. Vash keeps fighting Knives though, and Knives pushes Vash back onto the floor, which leads to Vash aiming the angel arm at Knives chest and shooting.

WHERE DOES VASH SUPPRESSING SHIT COME INTO THIS?

What did Knives actually try to do? By his own accounts as seen through Vash's perspective, he was trying to help Vash control the power overflow by resonating, at least before everything goes to shit. The gate is already active. The physical force seems to be more of a response to Vash's aggression.

What was supposed to happen? Probably? NOTHING! The gate was supposed to be open, but by controlling it, you would be no different than normal.

Did Knives succeed? In the sense that Vash opened his gate, yes, in the sense that he had any control or whatever he thought would happen happened, definitely not.

What was Vash trying to do? Hard to say honestly. The gate is already open and he's struggling to keep it under control/closing it, but he doesn't trust Knives to help, which means he's fighting him every step of the way. Vash makes it very clear throughout all the scenes he intends to harm his brother though, so it's not exactly surprising it ends the way it does.

Because we can't say for sure what was meant to happen, we also can't say for sure how much of what happened was due to Vash losing control of his powers because he tried to repress them. Although personally, I think it was more he just didn't want anything to do with Knives and didn't understand just how strong this power was when he aimed it like a weapon. (As I adore the analysis of the eyes, I wanna point out that the last we see is that Vash's left eye (the "peace" one) goes blank.) If Vash didn't feel very comfortable in his plant-ness before, this sure didn't help lmfao

WHAT ABOUT THE FIFTH MOON INCIDENT?

Honestly it's hard to put too much real analytical thought into this one because it's very clear Nightow just hadn't developed the story or the character enough at this point in time. Knives is a whole other character, and what he does here makes zero sense no matter how you twist and turn it. He wakes up after seven years of healing from what happened at July, just to somehow immediately trigger Vash into doing the exact same thing AGAIN with only the genius idea to switch sides so he's not right in front of the gun this time. He is still, predictably, shot in the legs and goes screaming and flying.

Considering the deleted page with Legato though, he probably was meant to give off the vibe somewhat of a manic predatory queer. Unfortunately.

As for Vash, he is there to kill his brother. It's probably that intent that makes it as easy as it is to push him over the edge and blow up (again). I mean it's my personal headcanon that the gate is working on (repressed/overwhelming) feelings and the release is a release of those feelings, which means his rage turns into a gun while other times the effects are different (like Knives erasing people out of existence or Vash after Wolfwood's death). But we don't actually have any canon explaination for how it works.

So yes, it is a violation of boundaries, but more than that, it's fucking stupid and suicidal and I'm gonna just pretend he was high as fuck on pain meds or something because the scene makes that little sense from a character perspective. At least Vash gets his memories back and we see his power and he gets less blood thirsty after realising he was the one that blew up July, yay character development (straight into depression)

INTERNALISED SPECISISM

Vash does have this idea that they (the plants) "deserve" to suffer because they caused this situation and left humanity with no choice but to rely on them. And he got a point in that they did, although it's definitely not the entire truth.

The whole scars-thing is a good example of that. But reading between the lines, there are powers that Vash should have that we never see him use, or at least not unless he's desperate (such as the body morphing). He chose a human way of fighting that requires him to work crazy much to be good at it, rather than use the powers that should be second nature to him. As such he never really learns what the extent of those powers are.

I wouldn't say Knives had any cruel or even bad intentions in July, but Vash didn't want to learn what he was set on teaching. There's a massive disconnect between them at this time. Knives thinks he knows what's best because he sees their plantness as their way of protecting themselves, while Vash sees it as what makes them different and guilty. I'm not to say if either one is right or wrong.

But I do think you're right in that most people read these scenes not seeing objectively what is happening, but through Vash's perspective and feelings. Which you're meant to do! But while it is a violation of boundaries, it's also as you say - these boundaries might stand because Vash sees his own nature, or at least anything connected to Knives, as bad. Knives isn't trying to blow up July when it happens, it's Vash who tries to blow up Knives. It wouldn't have happened (probably) if Knives had listened and not assumed his perspective was correct, nor would it if Vash had.

[damndroid]

Fionna and Cake: The Escapist Fantasies of Suicide and Apocalypse

One of the first things just about everyone noticed during episode 1 of the new Fionna and Cake miniseries is the incredibly dark lyrics of the opening theme, "Not Myself".

I'm not really feeling like myself today

Hated every job I've had

What's wrong with me?

Everyday's the same

Painfully mundane

'Cause I'm running from my feelings

And my fear of sudden change

Every time I leave my room I wanna die

Even when I'm with my friends

I'm alone inside

'Cause nothing really matters

And I don't know what's sadder The fact I even try

Or that my hopes and dreams are shattered

I'm not really feeling like myself today

Ay ay ay ay

We see another take on the same theme with Simon. As himself, he is incapable of helping Fionna. Losing himself to the madness of the crown in order to be useful again isn't just a sacrifice, it's a suicide.

It strikes a chord, but I initially struggled to see how these themes expanded through the rest of the show. I also struggled to reconcile why, if Fiona is struggling with suicidal ideation, the culmination of her arc in episode 10 is her realizing that the world she lives in, while flawed, is worth fighting for.

And then it hit me: suicidal ideation and apocalyptic ideation are fundamentally the same escapist fantasy.

When I've struggled with suicidal ideation, it has often been through the lens of a release from the responsibility of being part of the world. When you struggle with the constant tasks of keeping yourself fed and clothed, the responsibility you have to the people in your life to be kind, communicative, understanding, and supportive seem out of reach. You begin to feel like, well -

But damndroid, you whimper. What's apocalyptic ideation? What does that have to do with this?

Well, the fantasy that Fionna entertains for most of the series isn't suicide. She wants to replace her world with a magical one full of adventure and promise.

It's only over the course of the series that she realizes that the realization of this fantasy means destroying the world she knows and the people in it.

This kind of fantasy of being able to let go of a mundane, doomed world is something that I think most people in my age group are familiar with. Our media landscape has been saturated with apocalypse for decades. We love stories about sad dads in a world where civilization has collapsed figuring out how to help their daughters (Simon included). This is a reflection of the fact that our world feels doomed. Climate change, the perpetual economic collapses of late stage capitalism, the endless wars of imperial domination, the rise of a new global wave of fascism. It's too much.

If the world is going to die, it's certainly a lot more fun and easy to think about adventures in the aftermath than about the complex process of its death and what we have to do now. This is the core of apocalyptic ideation: the problems that we have a responsibility to help solve seem insurmountable and out of reach. It's easier to imagine a world where we have already failed.

In her superb video essay The World Is Not Ending (please watch it please pleasepleasepleaseplease), Sophie touches on this idea, primarily though a criticism/extension of Mark Fisher's famous quote "It is easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism." Sophie continues this thought:

"If we are trapped by the conviction that we cannot possibly win, imagining others remaining idle is the thing keeping us stuck. If we want to come unstuck, we need to have confidence in each other…the sooner we fight back, the better the world gets to be as a result”

I guess this whole spiel is an excuse for me to say this: we only get one world.

It's not dying. It's being killed.

And not fighting back is suicide.