#and is one of the instances where people will literally blame anything but the abuser themselves in a DV situation

[swallowtail-ageha]

I think someone should study the fact that all of the moral issues people have with coleen hoover are just the modern day version of "this erotic literature will corrupt our pure women!"

[baxterstockmanisthecenterfold]

Thoughts on the Baxter being black or white discourse?

Funny you send this ask anon because I won't lie to you I was LITERALLY Planning on making this post on my own one day when I got the time to. But uhhhh looks like you just sped up that process so let's just get down to it then.

First starting with a history lesson. All starting and going way back to 1984 when Baxter was born. (Well. In our world at least. Cus in actual comic continuity he was born in 1948.)

After the first issue of TMNT was a success, Kevin Eastman & Peter Laird of course got to work making another comic so it can be an official series. And when you have a new hero or heroes, you gotta have more villains for them to fight. And that second big baddie happened to be Baxter.

We can see here in this image above us that during his designing phase, Baxter funny enough had 2 different designs. One white design & one Black one. Showing us that it actually would have been an either or decision with how he would have ended up as. But of course, the 2 men obviously settled on the black one

And for a good couple of years that's just how it always was. At least until the 87 cartoon came out & we were re-introduced to Baxter looking noticeably different..

Baxter in his first outside comic book appearance had been one of the first of many POC characters to have been whitewashed (those unaware, whitewashing is when a character of a certain ethnicity/race is portrayed or designed as a Caucasian). And the reason for this massive change is STILL, to this day is a bit of a mystery. Like you & many suspected, why not go up to Kevin & Peter themselves & ask them why this happened? Or if they even had a role in it? From every source I could find & the only answer I really got was that Kevin & Peter had no idea why they changed him either! BUT they actually didn't really mind or care because if we go back to Baxter's concept art, he was ALMOST Going to be white anyway so if anything the show just made their "what if" choice a reality. At the end of the day, they didn't really care & I don't blame them since Baxter's race wasn't really a key part of his character. But I'll get to that in a minute.

Another consistent answer or rumor I hear about this change is because the showrunners didn't want the risk of being labeled as "racist". Because Baxter's role in the first cartoon was simply a "Weak subservient henchman who constantly refers to his boss as "Master" ".

*winces teeth* yeaaaaa I can kinda see what they mean by that looking bad..

But hang on now, then what about Bebop?

Before his mutation, he was noticeably black & he was turned into a pig that's ordered around & takes tons of verbal & physical abuse from his master and even called him that once yet nobody's batted an eye about that??? (Plus said Master is Asian Soo)

Well my personal best guess on why Bebop is overlooked could be for the following reasons:

He's a mutant. Yes he started off as a human being. But for the rest of the entire series aside from 2 instances to my knowledge, he's a mutant warthog. And not exactly a brown one either.. So for people starting off watching TMNT, they probably have no idea he was human or even black for that matter.

Some people don't even know he's black! Again. I imagine most people's first introduction to him was from a random episode & they never saw what he looked like as a human. And it's not like his voice actor was convincing of being otherwise either. Barry Gordon is obviously not African-American nor did he sound like one like most modern non black voice actors. In fact Bebop's voice is far from it. As a black person who has grown up in multiple areas of NY. Including the bad parts where thugs like Bebop reside. I can say. I have never once met or even heard another black person talk or sound the way he does.

Oddly enough, Bebop has actually been whitewashed himself two times. In the Archie comics & even in one of his first action figures to which again I personally chalk this up to people just not knowing he was black

3. And finally last. Rocksteady. Bebop is just tweedleDee of TweedleDumb. Rocksteady is his just as stupid best friend & are rarely to almost never seen separated from each other. So he's given the same treatment as Bebop & written just as much the same. You can't really tell the difference between the two. Or I can't really since I don't know or care much about their 80s counterparts. They're pretty much the same character. Henchman/Comic relief goons not really meant to be taken or thought of that seriously. And it's because of these reasons why I think Bebop is pardoned from receiving racial backlash. He's just a funny mutant goon & like Baxter, being black's not really a big key part of his character. Which again. I'll get to.

Back to Baxter. Whether it was because of avoiding backlash, or because they wanted to give his mirage concept art a chance, or they just wanted to cash in on Back to the Future.

Baxter Stockman was now a white man & that was just the way it was for a VERY VERY long time.

In fact, I came across at least 5 80s & 90s kids that GENUINELY Thought Baxter was ALWAYS a white guy. The damage had already been done that severely until 2001 teased what would eventually be the 2003 series & Baxter had at long last returned to his true African-American roots.

And it's been the go-to norm ever since (with a few occasional slip ups)

But it's because of these slip ups that a little bit of controversy started regarding Baxter's race. Especially with the possibility of turning him white again in a random adaptation. Most people prefer it while others are strongly against it especially on account of the fact that TMNT completely lacks black characters to which, they are not wrong about. At all!

Aside from Baxter & Bebop. The only black characters in TMNT we had for the longest was Angel & Xever (He's Afro-Brazillian before you idiots come at me) & it's opened up a pretty collar tugging realization the only black characters in TMNT all seem to be bad guys. It's honestly no wonder why people want to make more original ones like Sunita from Rise & make April Black like said Rise & Mutant Mayhem. April herself actually falling into this similar category as Baxter because she's actually had a bounce back & forth from being black & white in the mirage comics. (But I am not going to get into that because that whole thing is honestly ITS OWN Very confusing can of worms that literally anybody else can cover if they want to)

From what I've seen & gathered, Baxter remaining black is a big deal for most people because it branches out the black diversity in the TMNT mythos & it's just a core part of his character. Which I'm finally going to get to.

The thing is... It's really not.

Yes Baxter Stockman is an African-American man. But. That's not ALL he is. He's a super genius, he's intimidating, he's only looking out for himself, he doesn't care how much stronger or powerful you may be than him, he'll find a way to take you out or use you for his own benefits. Any piece of technology in his hands equals horrible news! He's your textbook definition of an evil genius! He just HAPPENS to be black! It doesn't matter what color he is, Baxter Stockman will always be Baxter Stockman. I feel like he would have been the same character regardless if Kevin & Peter DID go with his white design way back in 1984! Realistically, what difference would it have made?

In every single adaptation that Baxter's appeared in, in every single story focused on him, where he himself is the main character: His race has never ONCE been brought up.

Not a SINGLE TIME has him being a black man affected his life, development or any other aspect of his livelihood. Of all 20 interactions that Baxter has appeared in. Not ONCE. did he ever bring up being black. Nor did somebody else bring up that he's black. Not a single time, has that ever been a focus or key part of his story. For the same reason why any other characters like him or not like him haven't. The same reason why Dr. Robotnik/Eggman being white isn't brought up or focused on, or why Medic (TF2) being German isn't focused on, or even Willem Viceroy iii (Randy Cunningham) being a black scientist himself isn't even touched on! Their races aren't their characters, it just happens to be a fact about them! And the same should go for Baxter! Especially when you take in & remember the fact that he was almost never gonna be black in the first place.

Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't care about him being black or white, or that him being black shouldn't matter to you. I know from experience that we see ourselves in some fictional characters, good guy or bad guy. Especially if they share the same skin color as you. I probably wouldn't have latched onto Baxter like I did if it wasn't for him reminding me of my then afro wearing, nerdy 12 year old self at the time, but I know he's more than just his race & that's what I do want the fans to see when it comes to talking about him.

Now because I know I'll get this question either later on or in the comments of this post I will answer it beforehand.

Do I like Baxter better as a black person or a white person?

And to be completely & Brutally honest with all of you: . . . I genuinely don't mind either or. 🤷🏿‍♀️

I honest to God. Don't mind what Baxter looks like. I WILL admit, I do heavily prefer he be black. But if he happens to be white, then I don't mind it tbh. To me. When it comes to an adaptation of Baxter Stockman. The only thing that really matters to me is how he's written. As long as he's written well I don't mind or care at all what color he is. But again. I would prefer him black, still either or is fine by me.

What about you guys tho? I'm genuinely curious/interested about how YOU 🫵🏿 prefer he look like? Do you guys like him better being black? Or white? Can be any reason why. Could be cus you relate more, or you grew up with him being that way. Just as long as it's a reason. Be fun to discuss 🤗

[lilyspider]

Who is Afraid of Whom?

Subtitle: Korekiyo is an unreliable narrator Read as: Please for the love of god stop taking everything Korekiyo says at face value and be willing to look at the Shinguuji's dynamic with a bit more complexity instead of blaming Miyadera for everything. I've teased this for a bit but I've been working on a very long meta write up of a reading of these two following the canon text as much as possible while providing my own insights. This is Part 1 of X (I'll update this when I finish this series and add links as I continue.) Content warnings for discussions of abuse and incest.

To begin, I understand that this is a controversial topic. If you believe Korekiyo to be the victim of years of abuse, whatever I write here will probably come off as heartless apologism for the “worst Danganronpa character.” I hope that if this analysis at any point causes you genuine emotional distress or discomfort that you just close it. If you choose to continue reading it, then I hope you can give me the benefit of the doubt for where I’m coming from and save any judgment for the end. 

For the sake of simplicity, I am going to be referring to Korekiyo’s sister by the fan name Miyadera. I unfortunately do not know which individual deserves the credit for this name as it was coined back before the localization, but I do know it is an alternate reading of the characters in Shinguji, 真宮寺. 宮 is Miya and 寺 is tera. 

宮 could be literally translated to palace or shrine, but is usually only reserved for Shinto shrines. 寺 is used only for Buddhist temples. I have a post explaining more about this [here].

I’d like to start by debunking what seems to be a rumor/misreading of the text that has become canon to many people. Many fans I’ve seen believe Korekiyo is the only victim in the dynamic or that he is afraid of his sister. What is provided for evidence is usually how nervous Korekiyo seems during the trial once he’s on the ropes and the tulpa manifests. 

On that note, I want to clarify that I will be referring to the Miyadera that speaks through Korekiyo as a tulpa. I have seen some interpretations that treat their situation as more like a dissociative disorder, but I will not be touching on that or give that reading any credibility as I find it to be a bit disrespectful. The killer/villain with dissociative identity disorder is also a bit of an overplayed trope.

If you’re not familiar with what a tulpa is, I’ll provide a very simplified definition here. If anything I say seems to be unclear, you’re free to do your own research. If I get anything wrong, please don’t hesitate to correct me!

Tulpas have a Buddhist origin and were believed to be a manifestation that guides someone who has not reached nirvana yet. The simplest way to describe them would be as a spiritual guide. 

Other forms of tulpas are not from one specific religion and have a connection to theosophy. 

Theosophy is another very complex concept that I’ll simplify as a belief in a spiritual reality/separate realm that can be reached through meditation, revelations, or other states of heightened awareness and or emotions. These tulpas are believed to be connected to or have come from this other realm.

The final type of tulpa I’d like to discuss is a significantly more modern concept and is connected to groups that refer to themselves as tulpamancers. For people in this group, a tulpa is completely divorced from all spirituality and is treated more psychologically. These manifestations are much more deliberate as these individuals try to create tulpas of one specific person. It is usually done to cope with loneliness or other problems like anxiety. There are also instances of people claiming to have had romantic or sexual interactions with their tulpas. 

I believe the writers took inspiration from all potential manifestations of tulpas when they wrote the Miyadera tulpa. The most modern take and tulpamancers probably had the most influence. Korekiyo does share his experience of when the tulpa of his sister first manifested, but I would like to look into that in detail later. I plan on discussing all information about Korekiyo and Miyadera that’s revealed in FTEs, Salmon Team, and other similar events in the same section. 

Back to Korekiyo’s fear, the insistence that Korekiyo is afraid of Miyadera and even the tulpa of her never seemed to click for me. Chapter 3, especially the trial, are the parts of Danganronpa V3 I am the most familiar with. Korekiyo is most certainly panicking when his plans are unraveled, but none of that fear seemed to be caused by the presence of the tulpa. He is also able to relay his story about Miyadera after the trial with perfect clarity. For people who read Korekiyo as a victim, this probably doesn’t seem like solid proof. His erratic behavior and validating his experience could just be seen as a trauma response. 

In order to refresh my memory, I decided I’d be revisiting the trial and the scenes that follow it. I will not be looking too deeply at the first half of the trial since the tulpa has no presence, and Korekiyo does not reference his sister at all. A lot of this analysis is being done as a reaction to replaying and rewatching content in the game so my takes will be fresh. 

If I need to revisit the first half of the trial for parts later in this analysis, I will do so.

Korekiyo’s calm facade finally breaks once it becomes obvious that admitting he murdered Tenko put him into a corner and also implicated him in Angie’s killing. 

Korekiyo's specific quote when the tulpa cuts in is “I will not fear. I will not back down.” The tulpa is then revealed. I specifically attribute the above quote to Korekiyo and not Miyadera because it’s not spoken in the voice that is used for Miyadera in the rest of the trial. 

I have heard that it is easier to tell the two apart in the original Japanese text because they have different speaking styles, but I’m not familiar enough with Japanese to cite too much from the original text. I don’t want to potentially muddy the waters due to a mistranslation on my part. Thankfully, for the rest of the trial, it’s usually very clear which one of them is speaking. 

The first instance of the Miyadera tulpa appearing is when Korekiyo is under extreme stress, and her main goal is to help bring him down from this intense emotional state. It’s the first thing she does before addressing anyone else in the trial. 

If I was a bit less diligent, I’d stop this section here and say the argument that Korekiyo is afraid of the tulpa is debunked. However, I’d like to be as thorough as possible so we’ll continue on with this topic. 

Miyadera’s words encourage Korekiyo to keep arguing for his innocence in the murder case. The rebuttal that follows is done by Korekiyo alone. 

Miyadera appears once again when Korekiyo’s rebuttal isn’t enough to prove his innocence, and they have definitive proof that he murdered Angie. 

The lines that follow are somewhat controversial, and they are the ones I believe are misinterpreted the most often. Miyadera says: “You mustn’t raise your voice. You mustn’t stutter. You mustn’t lose composure. You mustn't become flustered. You mustn’t waver.” 

For some reason, this is seen as Miyadera scolding Korekiyo and as clear evidence that she abused him in the past. However, in the full context of the scene, it’s pretty obvious that Korekiyo is losing the ability to argue for his innocence without panicking. Miyadera is reassuring him that he doesn’t need to worry about everyone else in the trial, calling them a “sorry lot”. 

Miyadera is saying that as long as Korekiyo remains calm then he should be able to make an argument that will prove he’s not guilty. Her appearance is only for his benefit as he is able to continue speaking more concisely each time after she speaks.

Once he gets back on his feet, Miyadera gives him further encouragement and praises him.

One could argue this is an instance of emotional manipulation (though I’d have to wonder why she would be manipulating him for an outcome that’s in his best interest. We can return to this later), but I believe it does prove that he is not afraid of her. Without her encouragement, the latter half of the trial would have been significantly shorter. I doubt Korekiyo would have been able to argue for his innocence with the panicked state he was in. 

The next scene is another line I see as being wildly misunderstood to the point where I wonder if anyone discussing it has actually seen it in context.

In a lot of fanworks, for some reason, “Come on, apologize” is treated as something Miyadera has said to Korekiyo as another instance of scolding him or pushing him into a corner. Though it’s pretty clear in the context of the scene that Miyadera is angry at Shuichi and tells him to apologize for continuing to accuse Korekiyo. 

During the argument armament, Miyadera continues to encourage Korekiyo during his final pleas for his innocence. Even the final point that Shuichi has to prove wrong is her defending him. 

I will admit that Korekiyo’s reactions to being put on the spot are very intense. Both the English and Japanese VAs did an amazing job selling his distress! I’m just not sure how any of that is attributed to Miyadera’s presence. 

It’s a completely incorrect reading of the trial that’s unfortunately been spread around even further by the wiki and other pages making this exact claim. There are people who don’t play through the entire game themselves or rely on reading fan wikis and write-ups for refreshers if they haven’t played in a while. If it’s been a long time since you’ve played V3, and you end up relying on one of these inaccurate fan descriptions, you might remember Korekiyo’s strong emotional reactions and Miyadera’s regular cut ins. It’s possible that you won’t remember the exact specifics, but since the vibes seem to match that kind of interpretation, you'll leave the fan wiki article convinced that Korekiyo was afraid because of Miyadera’s presence. 

The trials in V3 are very long, and Miyadera doesn’t appear until the two hour mark. If someone was a bit unclear on how their interactions went or forgot the specifics, I wouldn’t blame them. The problems truly arise when it comes down to this complete misinterpretation that only works when these lines are removed from the original context. 

Before we make further progress and get to the post trial conversations, I wanted to address another theory that doesn’t really hold water. 

Some people believe that Korekiyo’s murders were actually committed by the Miyadera tulpa. This seems to be a way for them to absolve Korekiyo of blame and force it all onto his sister. It’s an interpretation pretty common if someone has already decided Korekiyo is exclusively the victim and all wrong-doing is Miyadera’s fault. 

To me, this doesn’t make sense for a few reasons. 

First of all, Danganronpa is a generally straightforward narrative that makes big or shocking reveals very obvious. If this was a case of a separate personality or tulpa being the one forcing Korekiyo to kill women, then it would have been spelled out directly. 

During the trial, Korekiyo does act a bit confused and denies all of the accusations levied against him, but isn’t that common for every culprit in the series? The killer breakdown is something that’s kind of seen as iconic. 

The over the top reactions and reveal of a new set of sprites for a character are a key part of every trial. Again, pretty much every culprit denies their guilt until they’re backed into a corner, so Korekiyo’s situation isn’t unique at all. 

If we put the tulpa back into the full context of the trial and the murders as a whole, we’ve already established Miyadera’s presence is meant to soothe and comfort Korekiyo. She appears whenever a situation is too stressful for him to handle. One might argue that committing the murders would be an intense burden, and that would probably be the case for any character except Korekiyo. 

As early as Chapter 1, Korekiyo makes references to murder and other pretty morbid topics. He comments on how Gonta’s physical strength would make it easy for him to harm someone. In the early parts of Chapter 3, he threatens to rip out Kokichi’s nerves after he mishandles the gold katana. 

I would believe that the Miyadera tulpa played a direct role in the murders if Korekiyo displayed any signs of being uncomfortable around violence or blood. Since he doesn’t and also was very invested in the mechanics of the seesaw trap, I have no reason to believe Miyadera was the true killer. 

I also believe that if she did play a bigger part, then the final image at the end of the closing argument would have shown her face or maybe both Shingujis back to back.

The Miyadera tulpa also tells Korekiyo it’s time for him to admit defeat when there are no further arguments to be made. If she was truly the one responsible, wouldn’t she apologize to Korekiyo for committing murders that led to his downfall? 

Korekiyo is the one who takes responsibility before the voting starts and is completely calm by this point. He directly says the only thing he regrets is not being able to make one hundred friends, which is a reference to how many women he killed. 

While an exact number isn’t given, he does say he was very close. That probably pushes the total number of victims to somewhere between 80 and 90 if killing Angie and Tenko wasn’t enough to reach his goal. 

My analysis of the trial basically concludes here, and I believe I’ve provided enough evidence to prove that Korekiyo doesn’t show any fear towards Miyadera. A majority of arguments meant to prove Miyadera is the abuser and Korekiyo is the victim usually rely on this point. In the next post I will breakdown the post trial conversations and then circle back to Korekiyo's behavior at the beginning of the game. If you've made it this far, thank you so much.

[kitkatopinions]

The biggest instances of hypocrisy in RWBY mostly have to do with characters getting mad at Ozpin for something they themselves do (and sometimes they're really irrational about blaming Oz anyway) and it's funny that it feels like the RWBY writers just haven't even realized they're doing it.

Jaune: "How dare Oz involve Pyrrha in his war without telling her all the details, she's dead because of him and not because of any choice she made!" Also Jaune: "Yeah, let's try to recruit everyone in the world to the war with Salem via video message without telling them all the details and also I will kill Penny for the Maiden Powers because 'it's her choice.'"

The entirety of RWBYJNROQ: "How dare Ozpin keep secrets, give half truths, and not tell us everything!" Also the entirety of RWBYJNROQ: *Proceed to keep secrets, give half truths, and not tell everyone everything.*

Raven: "Ozpin keeps secrets, prioritizes what he wants, and also uses people for their powers." Also Raven: *Doesn't tell anyone what happened with Summer, barely does anything to help people and even works with Cinder and Salem out of selfishness and cowardice, and it's heavily implied that she took in and befriended the last spring maiden only to murder her for her power so Raven could have it herself plus essentially uses Vernal as a human shield while keeping her Maiden powers a secret.*

Hazel: "Ozpin's attempt to teach willing specialists how to fight Grimm resulted in my sister choosing to try to learn and then dying on the field of battle, therefore he's evil and monstrous and deserves death and torture and I'm going to blame him for her death. How dare he-" *checks notes* "Try to stop the Grimm from killing innocent people indiscriminately by asking for willing participants who don't get their hunter licenses until age twenty one to learn to fight them to defend said innocent people?" Also Hazel: *Literally kills tons of people and wants to kill a child and tortures a child on screen while working for the murderous woman actively attacking cities full of helpless innocent children who also partially controls the very monsters that killed his sister in the first place.*

Like, the show is entirely unconcerned with checking any of this hypocrisy either despite the fact that outside of Ruby and maybe Oscar who regretted keeping secrets (and Ruby regretted more than keeping secrets) Ozpin is the only one who ever seems apologetic or uncertain about the things he does. It's only ever Ozpin who is treated as bad for doing... anything that isn't one hundred percent perfect and flawless, no matter if his back is to a wall and no matter how uncertain or unhappy he seems in his choices. Then there's Raven and Hazel over here acting superior and totally sure of themselves and yet they're the ones who pretty much go unchallenged. Like I said, it's like they don't even realize they're doing it, like they wanted their 'morally gray mentor' story, forgot to actually include it in a convincing way, and then just do not actually give a damn about the morals and lessons involved so they write the rest of the story as if it doesn't matter at all. RWBY is like this in a lot of ways, where you have to actively pretend that the rest of the story didn't happen in order to enjoy moments that contradict it (whether morally or just through story beats.) But the Oz thing is just so frustrating because it's like.... Okay, so I'm not supposed to have any sympathy for the cursed abuse victim out here doing his best and acting heartbroken while in extremely bad lose-lose conditions, but I'm supposed to have all the sympathy in the world for the screaming murderer electrocuting teenage girls and trying to murder children while victim-blaming the guy he's trying to kill for all his own actions.... And the reason for why I'm supposed to be angry at Oz is because he was attempting to help the world in sometimes flawed ways with the weight of the world on his shoulders? But I'm supposed to have no problems at all with like, Jaune or Yang because they're trying to help the world in sometimes flawed ways?

Once again, RWBY as a show has no actual real morals to follow and zero consistency.

[andreal831]

In regards to your take about Katherine, I do agree with you about Stefan completely, and always put my foot down when it comes to rape and sexual assault. The only gripe I have is when people only call out Katherine for this, but always defend Damon and outright deny he ever raped and abused Caroline, when he literally used the exact same methods that Katherine did on Stefan. But somehow they think that because Caroline was the one who showed interest in Damon first, and that she gave consent only once that it makes her rape and abuse less valid than Stefan's.

Even if Caroline did show interest first and gave consent the first time, it doesn't mean she wasn't allowed to change her mind, after she saw Damon for what he was. And after that first time, she was compelled and couldn't give consent or have a say in the matter. Her autonomy was taken away just the same way Stefan's was. And the amount of victim blaming/shaming and slut shaming I see Caroline get for this, and the amount of excuses they make to defend Damon just because they find him hot and attractive and love the bad boy is just beyond revolting and disgusting to me.

As for everything else, like your points about how they should've shown evidence of that Katherine was living in fear of Klaus, or that Klaus had his own network of vampires to track her down, I agree with that. And this is one of many instances where I chalk it up to a writing flaw rather than a character flaw. Also an example of telling instead of showing, which was the writers biggest flaw on both shows.

I always see people applaud Elena for "being brave" and willing to sacrifice herself and choosing not to run, when the truth is, she shouldn't have been in that kind of a position to begin with. The idea people have that Katherine or Elena owed Klaus anything is absurd to me, because they didn't owe him anything. Neither one of them should've had to sacrifice their own lives and die just for his own selfish cause.

And as much as people blame Katherine for Klaus going after Elena, I really don't think it would've mattered either way. Klaus still would've found Elena, whether Katherine came to Mystic Falls or not, and just taken Elena himself.

TW: Rape/SA

I 100% agree with everything you said.

People are misogynistic when they talk about Katherine and Damon. I absolutely cannot stand season 1 Damon. He was meant to be a villain and was. There is no question that he raped Caroline. It doesn't matter that she was flirting with him or even that she initially wanted to be with him. As soon as she said no and changed her mind, it crosses over to rape. A person is allowed to change their mind at any point for any reason. She very clearly expressed it and Damon ignores it and continues to compel and use her for months.

Season 1 Caroline is why I will always have a soft spot for her, even when she made decisions I didn't like or annoyed me. What she went through at such a young age just broke my heart and I feel like the show never gave her the time to process it or even acknowledge it. Hell, even just having Stefan and Caroline be able to support each other and trauma bond.

I do not allow any slut shaming on my pages for anyone. I do see it a lot with Caroline. People often blanket it in a way that they are trying to defend another character, but it's still not appropriate. It's one thing to say that her having sex with a certain character was problematic, but it's completely different to just shame her for sex in general.

I do also agree that it was a writing flaw in how they portrayed Katherine's past. I indirectly said this in the previous post. I think it really has to do with the fact that they hadn't anticipated keeping the Mikaelsons on for so long. In TO they wanted to make the Mikaelsons look more sympathetic, which would have been harder to do if every flashback showed them mercilessly hunting down Katherine. Unfortunately, this made Katherine look cruel for how she used and abused people in order to stay "hidden." Again, I do headcanon that they had people looking for her and chasing her, but she still did things that weren't necessary and continued to do things she didn't need to even after the Mikaelsons were no longer chasing her.

I also agree that Katherine and Elena owed no one anything, especially not Klaus. I also hate when people blame one character for another's behavior. Katherine attempting to hand Elena over to Klaus, yes we can blame her. But we can't blame Katherine for the inevitability of Klaus seeking Elena out. If anything, like I said in the last post, Katherine could have sold out her ancestors earlier. She was the only one who knew she had a child and that more doppelgangers could have existed. I'm not sure when she discovered the lore of everything, but she did at some point and I like to believe she didn't immediately start trying to sell out her ancestor for her own freedom.

Thanks for the ask!

[ozarlu-seda]

One thing I think the Jedi vs Anakin blames camps of the Anakin falling camp don't seem to recognize is that combating a grooming effort as zealous and concerted as Palpatine's requires in and of itself a zealous and concerted effort. It cannot be done by accident. Neither the Jedi nor Anakin could have beaten it without at minimum recognizing that its happening and then planning on how to break Anakin out from it.

People like to trade bits of anecdotes and cannon evidence of instances where Anakin had openings to see things or the Jedi played into Sidious' game like aha moments, but they are all ultimately meaningless because an spattering of uncoordinated singular instances of relief will not break the hold of someone as keen to hold onto Anakin as Palpatine was, who was also so good at manipuation. It's just an unfair expectation to place on either party (Anakin or the Jedi).

The Jedi, even if they didn't slip up the ways they did in canon could still have slipped up in other ways that Palpatine would've exploited, because they did not know the abuse was happening and couldn't guard specifically against it. Deprogramming Anakin from Palpatine would have required them to again, at minimum coordinate a plan to do so because anything less and they would've been outgamed.

Same with Anakin. He already started out with limited emotional intelligence, but then to add that onto his limited political acumen and what looks like limited language and tools for fighting abuse specifically? He didn't stand a chance. Anything he could've learned from the Jedi on this matter very obviously paled in comparison to the absolute Armada of control strategies Palpatine flung at him. He literally could not have won without specifically reaching out to get support for breaking from Palpatine's control specifically.

It's true that abuse victims break from their abusers all the time, even really cunning ones, but in all of those cases, they had to at least have had a) the information to recognize what was being done to them, b) the emotional intelligence to make use of that information, c) and resources/community support to actually pull out. Without any of this, you'd only be looking at a miracle if your abuser was at all decicated to keeping you under their thumb. And this is of course a sliding scale. The more determined and smart the abuser is, the more effort it takes for break from their control and the less likely it can be done with isolated acts of kindess, random epiphanies, or short term interventions.

Anakin's treatment by Palpatine is waaay on the difficult to break end of the scale. And Anakin again, is not the most emotionally adept or self aware. He's not skilled enough at deconstructing arguments to not just have all his objections steamrolled by Palpatine every time they come up. He can't hold on to a proper dissent against Palpatine by himself, because even while he's uncomfortable, he doesn’t have to skills to pick apart why he's uncomfortable without someone walking him through it. The Jedi similarily could not have helped Anakin with generalized aids because Palpatine efforts were a specific and targeted attacked.

TLDR: If we take Anakin's fall as the result of the specific and targeted grooming by Palpatine (because GL did draw a horse and got a hippo), neither the Jedi nor Anakin could have stopped it just by their general goodness because that would've been the equivalent of expecting to stop a black ops team from trying to kill you by remembering to lock your doors and not talking to strangers.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 8 Pt. 1

More stream of consciousness. Here goes! I want to catch up so badly so I can suffer through... whatever happens in Volume 10 with you guys. I'm scared. :)

[All images are from Trigun Maximum Volume 8.]

Love that Knives can't do anything without being absurdly extra about it. It's not enough to go and invade human towns, he's got to have his giant-ass spaceship hover over everybody. He needs to loom. He needs to loom so badly.

Ah, once again, Knives denying Vash autonomy over his body. Also talking about "using" Legato too, which just goes to show how Legato is basically just a tool for him (though I don't think Legato particularly minds).

"I have seen them throw our spent corpses away like garbage." <- "our", yet another instance of Knives not really drawing a distinguishing line between himself and Vash/his sisters. Treating them all as one.

[ID: A close up of Vash's face, grimacing and sweating, saying "Believe me, Knives, I have seen the dead Plants. All of them had the black hair. They weren't the bodies of Plants who had lived their natural lifespan. They were the bodies of Plants who had been abused and pushed past their limits. End ID.]

This panel, with his own black hair emphasized, plus the way Vash is finally able to verbalize some blame on Knives and includes himself in the Plants that humans are forced to rely on, is interesting and encouraging development. Vash too, has been pushed past his limits, time and time again. But this reframes it less as self-punishment or "deserve" and more like responsibility he feels obligated to take on, because literally no one else can. The saddest part of this is that nothing will change for the better at this rate, because all of Vash's energy is (quite literally) being sapped just playing damage control against his own brother's actions. I often wondered why we didn't see Vash interacting with the other Plants a little more or focusing his help on them - and while I think there's interactions we're probably not seeing behind the scenes, Knives' actions kind of force Vash to prioritize the humans in all this, because he cares about both humanity and his sisters... which really sucks for the sisters, who are still being drained and hurt. It's frustrating, overwhelming, and feels like you're stretched far too thin when you're caught in the middle like this. And it's not that he's necessarily okay with this - he isn't. I think this kind of proves he knows and understands how cruelly he's treated. But unfortunately, this kind of thing can happen to people who care too much... Vash's dehumanization (for lack of a better word) in all this is misery inducing. (Also as a bonus, check out the panel where Knives is talking about the sisters being oppressed and murdered - his hand is doing that thing again where he covers her face, even though it's a gentle gesture!).

"There will be screams and shouts and then there will be silence." <- I'm sorry this is horrific but all I can think about is the llamas with hats skit - "That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence." Hhjskdhbvjdfhbv

Wolfwood is trying not to kill them (!!!!!!!!!)

Ughhh Livio's guns are literally strapped to his arms. His function is to be a living weapon, indeed. Combined with the guns also looking like crosses it's just... ugh.

See, here I will concede that Knives makes a good point. Vash says "that's the way it is" and Knives says "who says this is the way it has to be?" 100%, out of context, I'm with Knives. "Things take time", sure, but immediate action should always be taken to minimize the damage in the here and now. People are still hurt in the time it takes for large-scale change to occur; you can't just wait for things to change. Unfortunately, adding the context back in, minimizing hurt has never actually been Knives' goal. He's still thinking on a near-absolute level here. And worse, every added year they waste fighting each other, they could've been working to find better solutions for their sisters - the situation probably would've improved a lot faster if they had been a united front. But Knives refuses to listen, because "helping" was never his primary goal to start with. It reminds me a lot of people who want to punch bad guys instead of support their victims. People who want to be right, instead of do right. Do you see what I mean?

"Keeping yourself from feeling the pain and never finding the true source of it." <- because Knives would rather invent an enemy than confront his own fear... it's not an easy thing to do, but you have to try if you ever want to heal... the only actions we can ever truly control are our own...

Fuck Chapel man.

So, Knives' plan is not just to rescue the sisters but also to absorb them??? All of them??? Does... does he know if he can handle that? Are the sisters like. Chill with this or...? The imagery of it all is so incredibly beautiful though... I would screenshot several pages of this but it would take up too much space.

[ID: Two panels, one with the absorbed bodies of Plants in an indistinct mass, and the next showing Knives standing at the top of a large grate, filled with the merged bodies of Plants. End ID.]

Bro...? I am confusion. How. How does this help them. It's like he's storing them so they can't be used... I mean I suppose that's better but. ???

Badass Elendira moment!!!

Oh man I love the way this builds. It all feels so futile. No one seems happy or satisfied. Starting with the random people and the outsider view. The concern and then the dawning horror as they realize what's happening. The ethereal pages of Knives absorbing the Plants, only to show they're essentially being placed in a cage. He's not smiling and his face is grim. The focus on the death of a random character. Vash and Legato are locked in a stalemate. Back to outsider view as Zazie witnesses the devastation. Focus on Wolfwood, bitter and guilty. Back to the outsider pov and the panels that grow more and more hectic and cruel in their depictions. The break with the quiet panels of the desert. ...seven months later. It's so incredibly cinematic and visceral. I must say, I was not expecting such a large time skip.

AHHH GIRLS!!!

Luida my beloved. Her and Meryl are so similar in their desire to help, their insider knowledge on Vash, and their struggle between kindness and pragmatism, and it's really cool to see.

I wonder... can Plants only communicate through dreams or memories? ...Knives falling asleep again randomly too... he is eepy from all the world domination and the exhaustion of isolating himself for 150 years. :(

I'm so sorry but I really do think it's funny that Knives' plan is just "I'm going to store my siblings (yes, all of them, even my twin) in some containers and put a grate over it. Surely this will solve everything."

The Plants are brain-blasting him???

Badass Elendira moment number 2!!!

WOLFWOOD'S BACK YEAHHHHH

Vash is controlling the angel arm?!

No sorry, this whole sequence is insane! Wolfwood acting on his own free will! The two of them tag-teaming Legato just by reading each other after 7 months without contact! Wolfwood braving death! Vash braving the use of the angel arm! They trust each other enough to face what they have been so afraid of! Holy shit!

[ID: Blood covers the floor, the rest of the background is pale white. Wolfwood is slumped over the Punisher, as Vash shields him. Vash has sprouted numerous wings and feathers in a dramatic spread as he says "No, you are not lost, Wolfwood!" End ID.]

AHHHHH?????? AUGH. He heard his prayer? Literally heard it? Are you fucking for real right now? And look at the way he's not just shielding him - you can see in this and the next few pages that he's also supporting him... gently lowers him to the ground... Wolfwood reaching up as if to touch him... Vash not even knowing who Chapel and Livio are but being angry enough to threaten them with the angel arm, of all things. AUGH.

I love the severity of this situation, the build, the declaration from Vash that he is now fighting for Wolfwood, Knives rapidly losing control of the situation, you know, all that good stuff... and then there's just. This.

[ID: The first panel is of the interior of the ship, covered with multiple instances of the sound effect ガ for clanging, interspersed with "ooph!" "ow!" "oof". The next panel is of tiny Vash and Wolfwood falling through open sky, having fallen out of the ship. End ID.]

...pinball machine. Lol.

Knives was unable to follow through on killing Vash. I mean. We all knew but still. Then he helplessly reaches out with his other hand... the one without the power he absorbed... :(

[ID: A photo of young, smiling Vash and Knives on a black background. Underneath, it just says "...it's over..." End ID.]

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Omg finally Wolfwood backstory.

Fuck Chapel!

OMG they're both in blankies... sorry but tiny blanket Wolfwood is my new favourite thing ever. Look at him.

Ahhhh Meryl went to Marlon! Augh and now Vash knows she's still in his corner - because last time he mistakenly thought she was afraid of him when she pulled away... but it wasn't true at all! :')

Man I so hate that it was more of the Plants who were killed in the attack... I know Brad hated it too since he apologized but I just... ugh they're so caught in the middle of this whole conflict, and we don't even know if they wanted any of this.

Ah, and Wolfwood's leaving... :/

[ID: A blank white panel with the words "Needle-noggin...". Next panel, Vash looks over, paying attention. Next panel, Wolfwood stares ahead distantly. The final panel is half of Luida's face, a flashback where she is telling Wolfwood "Yet he keeps moving... through his own never ending hell." There are several ellipses from Wolfwood. End ID.]

^Ok, I saw this earlier and Wolfwood leaving kind of confirmed what I thought might've been the case here. He already knows the Ark is headed toward the orphanage; that was what he was trying to persuade Livio to help him with; to protect their home together. I really do think Wolfwood was on the verge of asking Vash to help him here, before he apparently changes his mind and switches to asking Vash to stop Knives instead (which is... what he's already been doing. It's rather unnecessary for him to ask Vash to do this imo). The gap is this memory of what Luida told him. Whether it's that Wolfwood feels they should both be moving forward through their own personal troubles alone, or whether he feels Vash already is dealing with too much to burden him with anything else (my money's on the latter personally, given we see him with a similar sentiment in Volume 7), I do think whatever he was going to ask initially was not what he ended up saying aloud. Maybe I'm delusional. Idk.

!!! Wolfwood spinoff! :D

WAIT is this a prequel or something? This girl assumed he was a priest and Wolfwood just starts sweating nervously "um... yeah... that's me" hdjfhbvsdjfhbv

AW he knew her as a baby... ah, he's always ended up kind of responsible for others, huh?

Ok but this is kind of funny. "Can't believe she didn't remember me..." My dude this girl was like two years old.

Why does Orekano have a cross on his outfit???

Oh fuck this dude he's creepy.

The bird carving... :')

[a-darling-thing]

Following slightly off of that last reblog, I think another reason why fandom creativity has declined is the way that fandom creativity and fandom drama has evolved over time, moving away from a culture of 'counterculture' where deviations from the mainstream were expected, celebrated, and embraced, and where most debate and discussion in community, was in good faith, and was about reaching across rather than punching down, to a fandom culture that has, again, been heavily influenced by commodification and. hence, dominant cultural norms.

In the past, transformative works were expected to be exactly that. They were works that explored things that the source material would not, or could not. It was a place to explore themes that fell outside those dominant cultural norms. Fandom communities banded together around a communal feeling of being 'othered' and an understanding that you stuck together as fandom, on the one side, and didn't cross streams with the large corporate entities and corporate-backed creators, creating the source material.

Now, once corporations started to get their grubby little hands all over fandom (I partially blame Twitter for this, because more than any other platform it blurred the lines between those creating the source material and those creating transformative works - the old fandom adage of 'don't cross the streams' was forgotten), new folks coming into fandom started to see fan fiction and fan art as a consumable extension of the source material, rather than something that ran counter to it and that was created to build community. This is when you started to see more insistence on things aligning with source canon, and the idea that there was a right and a wrong way to interpret fan works. This shift then met the rising popularity of online, performative 'activism' in the early 2010's and resulted in a fandom culture where things one didn't like in fandom also started to be considered moral and ethical failings, worthy of censure and even abuse. This shifted things even more away from a transformative fandom counterculture, where the general motto/theme tended to be, "Hey, we're all outcasts here, with weird views on stuff, so live and let live, ship and let ship, celebrate what you love, and ignore what you don't, and if you want to discuss our differences, let's do that across the table 'in-community'!" towards one where anything you personally disagreed with because something that needed to be squashed, publicly shamed, shut down, silenced and sanitized.

So now, not only would people get angry if transformative works didn't align with their own preferences, or expectations of source canon interpretation, they would also turn their anger over this into a moral and ethical argument. Powerless to effect change with large corporations, they would 'punch down' and attack fandom creators of transformative works, for not portraying things, like queerness for instance, in a way that aligned with how they viewed it. And not only would they get angry over this, things quickly devolved to the level of doxxing people irl, over these things. I've known people who almost lost their job due to online outrage over fanfic they had written or art they had created.

This had an extreme smothering effect on creativity in fandom circles. The fandom communities that marginalized folks had been building for decades, with understood rules that helped insulate and protect it's members from outside threat, started to crumble. They were literally being eaten away and eroded from inside the house. This was probably exacerbated by the swiftly increasing online influence of conservative morality and gatekeeping that started to sneak it's way into fandom spaces due to the broad influence of neoliberalism and terf rhetoric on popular fandom platforms. The 2010s saw the rise of puriteen culture, the normalization of mass, in-house censorship and gatekeeping, and other ills that have always historically put a damper on creativity.

furthermore, by allowing the crossing of streams between marginalized, transformative, fandom spaces, and corporate, mainstream cultural entities, a cascade effect of rapid deterioration began. Corporations had successfully divided fandom into content creator and content consumer. They had wooed fandoms into engagement and used the fans' creation of additional content to shore up promotion of their products (we became free promotional tools essentially) to consumer fans. Perhaps due to this, large swaths of fandom started to feel like these corporations owed them something in return, i.e. - to create content that aligned with our individual preferences.

This, of course, was never going to happen, so when the corporations failed to meet this expectation, and online backlash against them had little to no effect, fandom consumers turned on fandom creators inside the house instead. Fandom creators started to be expected to take the place of the corporate powers and create material that perfectly aligned with every consumer fan's individual preference, opinion, and moral standing. This was impossible, of course, and was never the purpose or responsibility of transformative works within fandom spaces.

Fandom started to collapse under the weight of this new corporatized model of content creator and content consumer fan. In the past fandoms had been a community where people created for the fun, joy and social aspects of it. Fandoms did not see themselves perfectly reflected in mainstream media (marginalized groups never will), and so they created community around a sharing of creative energy. Folks would write fic, which they shared for free. Fan artists, in turn, would draw art for those fics, which they would share for free. Fans who would read and enjoy this fic and art, would then, in turn, share and spread it. It was an exchange born of shared passion, joy, and creative play.

Everyone one would collaborate, communicate, trade, share, etc. It was a space free of commodification and all the ills that come with that. Instead of buying and selling content, things like fandom giveaways, trades, exchanges, etc. were common. You never encountered issues of fan-created content being locked behind paywalls. Anyone and everyone could view, speak to, collaborate, cross-create. There was this more communal flow of ideas and creativity that was seen as running counter to the outside, mainstream culture of commodification and status quo morality.

That isn't to say that there wasn't fandom drama back in those days, there was. People still got their knickers in a twist about canon interpretations, characters, ships, they didn't like. They still sometimes didn't like certain tropes or kinds of fic. People had different tolerance for what they wanted to see or not see in nsfw fanart. People could get in pretty heated debates on these topics. But generally the drama that arose played out in a way that didn't cast other fans as morally degenerate, or someone who had to be destroyed at all costs, so that some 'morally superior' reading of canon, or some level of in-community censorship could be upheld.

Anyway, the general collapse of creativity and community within online fandoms is something I have been really grieving the last few years. More and more fandom communities have moved to places like Discord, just so that they can vet who joins the community, and feel free to voice their opinions in a place where they can be safe from other fans dogpiling, bullying or doxxing them for having an opinion and that is really unfortunate.

And while I fully appreciate artists needing to make a living, the corporate acceptance and promotion of fan art, as a genre, while at the same time heavily censoring nsfw content has also led to almost every fan artist out there having a patreon and charging for people to see all tiers of their work, which has led to a decrease in open, free sharing, and the sense of community that comes from that.

Fan fic writers can't charge for their content, of course. But the in-house attacks on fan fic writers over the last few years have become so vicious, that many folks, myself included, have backed away from publicly sharing their fiction due to the fact that we just don't have the time or energy to deal with that, especially when sometimes it escalates to the point of people getting doxxed in real life.

Our culture is sick, that is clear. I mean this isn't just a fandom problem, it extends across online culture as a whole, and outward into real life, as well. But I guess it feels extra sad to me, that it has so negatively effected fandom, too, because fandom used to be a relatively safe space, a community for marginalized folks built around a shared love, passion and joy for stories, transformation and exploration. I feel like my life is richer due to some of the fandom communities I have been a part of, but I have seen a deterioration of that since the mid 20-teens that has, overtime, caused me to just draw away more and more.

It makes me wonder what fandom will look like in the future. Will it self correct and start to build community again? Will it move more and more toward cooperation with corporate source creators, and just become another sad victim of late stage capitalism? Will it find a new path altogether?

I like to think and hope that it will survive. I'm curious to see what form that takes. I hope I and many others have the energy to come back to the table and help rebuild that at some point. Right now I'm just tired, and a little sad, and wondering what will become of us all.

[anamthisside]

Feminism is becoming worse.

Feminism was once a great thing but now it has been taken over by some misogynists who call themselves ‘The world changers’ ‘the saviors’ and whatnot. 

What does feminism mean? Feminism literally means the equality between men and women. The equality between the rights of both men and women.  Both should get Equal pay for equal work. The equality of women in the work field and the field where there are men. Feminism is abolishing domestic violence and punishing the abuser who abuses women, it came for women who were oppressed to have a status in society. It came for women to have equal status as men.

But. Feminism is losing its meaning.

Feminism did not come for favoring one gender and ignoring the other. It did not come for targeting religions and disrespecting someone’s culture in the name of ‘freedom’. 

I know women and young girls get raped by men, many are abused and many are oppressed, and honor killings take place. I believe that the guilty should not be spared and justice should be served. The guilty should get punished by the law and the law is doing its work! 

But what triggers me is that the feminists, modern feminists to be more specific, fight for this cause which is acceptable and good but they blame the entire community if one person in that community does something disgusting, illegal, or unacceptable, those feminists blame the entire community for it! 

For instance.

Take the case which happened in Iran. Mahsa Amini was murdered brutally just because she wasn’t her hijab properly and that was absolutely disgusting and so unacceptable, feminists are fighting for it, that’s good but because of that they banned hijab? that is not acceptable.

People should know that Islam doesn’t force women to wear a hijab or cover themselves, Islam doesn’t allow anyone to do that! Feminists don’t research about it and say anything about Islam which hurts many people’s sentiments and then they go on protesting about the Hijab ban, Muslims are oppressors and whatnot. If a woman wears a Hijab of her choice those feminists say that ‘women have bad choices, hijab is just a psychological torture device’, literally I talked with a Rad Fem who was forced to wear a hijab by their parents and I talked to their about this topic and they said all this. Islam also does not allow parents to hit their children and neither it allows anyone to force a person to read the Quran or learn it by heart, the people who do this are doing wrong and are not real Muslims, people who are spreading terrorism are not Muslims, they are not following the real Islam, Islam is a religion of peace. Do you know the rules of war in Islam? Let me tell you-- Women and children should not be harmed or touched, old people should be protected, and trees and animals should not get damaged. This is the Islam no one talks about.

They don’t research anything at all and just jump on the topic, it’s like judging a book from the cover.

They say Islam thinks of women as prostitutes, sex slaves, and an object which can be used and thrown but do you know that The Almighty has placed paradise beneath a mother’s feet? why would women, and mothers have paradise beneath their feet if they were sex slaves or prostitutes? Now some will say that rape is allowed in Islam? women are allowed to kill their rapists in Islam and that will not count as murder. Some will say that angels curse women who refuse their husbands, here’s the thing--- A man should not force his wife to do anything if he does, he is a sinner. Now say, Islam is misogynist and modern feminism isn’t.

That rad fem also said that women are looked upon as sluts by Islam, yes sluts do have paradise beneath their feet. (Get the sarcasm). Before Islam came, baby girls were buried alive because they had vaginas, when Islam came, it started to spread, and people realized the worth of their baby girls, they are blessing from the almighty, when a woman marries, she completes half of that man’s and herself’s faith when she becomes a mother, she has paradise placed beneath her feet.

Modern feminists say that you should wear clothes in which you feel comfortable but chant ‘Ban Hijab’ when a woman wears a hijab and goes on the street because she is comfortable wearing it. They say that they are insecure about their body that’s why they cover themselves, No. Some women don’t like to show their bodies, they are not insecure or ashamed wearing them, they wear them because it’s their right and choice! you are no one to interfere. Not only are they targeting Islam but also they are targeting Christianity! Women have to stay virgins before marriage and they say it’s because they are shamed, they are oppressed no. Some women like their first time being with their husbands, it’s their choice and it’s not wrong.

Now some will say, Hijab limits you, but let me tell you this, at 27 years of age, Fatima Payman is a senator in the Australian parliament, and guess what she covers herself, did that limit her? If a woman goes to work wearing a hijab or covering herself, I don’t think that that will have an impact on her salary or her promotion. the people who have a problem with that woman are racists.

Now you tell me, isn’t feminism going in the wrong way? Women are taking advantage of their rights, you tell me a right that men have that women don’t in 2023. Feminists say ‘Women will save the world’ like this, but I don’t think so. Feminists also say ‘Men are dogs’ so your dad, your bf, and your brother are one as well. They say this world would be much better without men, ‘Darling you wouldn’t be there

Also, if a man assaults a woman it is wrong (Which really is) if a woman does that it’s not wrong?. girl, if you hit your partner, not in self-defense, you are an abuser, not an empowered woman.

Many things prove Feminism is going in the wrong way which I can’t write about in one post.

I’m speaking the truth and truth is bitter Fems!

[cimerran-714]

I don't normally quote other people in my posts (I think that's kind of rude), but @hermiones-amortentia had reblogged one of mine and commented on it. I'm unable to respond to it directly for some reason, so I'm guessing that they've disabled the comments section or something.

As you can see, there's no "reply" option, unless I'm doing it wrong. Anyway, I thought that I owe them an explanation, so I'll just take up this space to do that.

However, I should first mention that I'm not interested in getting into an argument, so if they respond to it again, I'm probably not going to enter into a debate. If you'd like to have the final word, I'd be happy to let you do that!

So.

*rubs hands together*.

In my initial post, I'd phrased it as:

when he is willing to comfort Hermione when she's upset.

It's true that Harry isn't very receptive to people who get emotional, but there's probably a reason for that. It could be due to how he was abused as a child, and the fact that he didn't really have any friends before he met Ron while traveling to Hogwarts.

But, of course, that doesn't mean he never comforts anyone in the book, including Hermione. If you're familiar enough with the storyline, it's easy to note that the user has just cherry-picked a few specific instances (out of context) to make their point.

Here are a couple of examples to show what I'd meant in the original post:

“Don’t!” squealed Hermione. Startled, Harry looked over just in time to see her burst into tears over her copy of Spellman’s Syllabary.

“Oh no,” said Harry, struggling to get up from the old camp bed. “Hermione, I wasn’t trying to upset —”

But with a great creaking of rusty bedsprings, Ron bounded off the bed and got there first. One arm around Hermione, he fished in his jeans pocket and withdrew a revolting-looking handkerchief that he had used to clean out the oven earlier.

“You’re still really angry at me, aren’t you?” said Hermione; he looked up to see fresh tears leaking out of her eyes, and knew that his anger must have shown in his face.

“No,” he said quietly. “No, Hermione, I know it was an accident. You were trying to get us out of there alive, and you were incredible. I’d be dead if you hadn’t been there to help me.”

There's also the part in half-blood prince where Ron upsets Hermione, and she runs out of the class with Harry following her because he sensed that she needed him more or whatever. I might be forgetting other examples.

Now, I suppose that I should respond to the other scenes which had been added in the reblog of my post.

The instant they arrived, Hermione dropped Harry’s hand and walked away from him, finally sitting down on a large rock, her face on her knees, shaking with what he knew were sobs. He watched her, supposing that he ought to go and comfort her, but something kept him rooted to the spot.

The last couple of words are the key here. "Something kept Harry rooted to the spot." What could it be? It's not very difficult to hazard a guess: Ron had accused her of having chosen Harry before leaving, which was what was most probably preying on his mind when he noticed that he should comfort her.

If anything, it's just Harry trying to not be a traitor, as that was exactly what Ron had feared of. It's not him being a sleazeball, it's just the best thing that he could do. Also note how Hermione had suddenly dropped Harry's hand to walk away from him immediately. She was the one who'd placed a distance between them, not Harry.

“He’s g-g-gone! Disapparated!” She threw herself into a chair, curled up, and started to cry. Harry felt dazed. He stooped, picked up the Horcrux, and placed it around his own neck. He dragged blankets off Ron’s bunk and threw them over Hermione. Then he climbed onto his own bed and stared up at the dark canvas roof, listening to the pounding of the rain.

It's literally a minute or so after Ron had left, and Harry was both angry and upset at the argument which had occurred. I don't think it's justified to blame him for not getting over his emotions immediately (speaking of which, shouldn't we blaming Ron for abandoning his friends now?) Also, he was concerned about Hermione.

Did someone notice how he'd ensured that she still had blankets on while she'd slept?

sometimes at night when she thought he was sleeping, he would hear her crying

Same as what I'd explained three paragraphs back. He didn't want to make it seem as if Ron's fears were actually true. That certainly doesn't mean he didn't care about Hermione; indeed, there are so many examples of it that it would be difficult to even explain all of them here.

Seriously, that's about it. There's also a great essay if you'd like to have a much more detailed analysis of their dynamic:

Alacrity's out!

[haleigh-sloth]

What did Caleb do?? Was it something to do with the chapter?

I don’t even really know how to answer this. I’m gonna retract me blaming Caleb for THIS instance, just this one though lol.

I’ll explain why further down. This is gonna be…a post. Buckle up.

There’s confusion with the translation on this panel:

The question is whether it’s actually Endeavor’s father or not.

The official says, well, that ⬆️. It says Endeavor watched his own father jump in to save a girl from someone.

The spoilers and fan scans said it was something Endeavor happened to see out in public when he was a kid, a father trying to save his kid from a villain:

And then there are other people with pretty good Japanese skills saying it could be either/or. Because the word he used for “father” can and is used differently at times. I’ve seen two people whose translations have proven trustworthy so far, back this up and say it’s honestly unclear.

Arguably, spoilers and fan scans can’t always be trusted! Nope, they cannot. But—Caleb has also made pretty bold mistakes too that other people have thoroughly looked into and caught. Neither source is perfect. Caleb is usually pretty reliable, but I have several reasons for just straight up not believing this until the story gives me more context to support the notion that Endeavor watched his dad die. And on top of that, I don’t think Caleb is at fault for this if it isn’t meant to be taken that way.

Just in preparation for me to be utterly disappointed, I’m gonna list my reasons for being a denier of this until I’m forced to accept it if it’s true, and then list my grievances under the cut. Because let’s say that is his dad, oh boy. I have issues.

First

Reasons I do not think it’s the paternal grandparent of the Todoroki kids:

This horrible death has never, ever, ever been hinted at, mentioned, alluded to, or anything. Ever. So if Endeavor’s origin, his reason for becoming a hero is because he watched his dad try to be a hero for someone and die in the process—why the FUCK did he need All Might to tell him that being a hero is about protecting the future and the kids? Why. He lost his father. Why did he need someone, who has no kids of his own, to tell him that he needs to fucking think of his own kids—if THIS was his origin. It literally makes absolutely no sense. Like that’s not even me hating Endeavor. That simply makes NO. SENSE. It being a random incident he saw where he was horrified makes more sense. It’s easier to forget your origin and become a piece of shit to your family when it isn’t your own parent dying horribly in front of you. If there was more build up to this, more clear cut evidence prior, I’d buy it. But there is none.

Everybody saying that this “makes sense because it parallels Kotaro whose hero mom died and led to him abusing his family!!”—NO IT DOESN’T. Kotaro’s mom abandoned him. Put him in foster care. Left. Disappeared. THEN died. But her deciding to never ever see her son again was while she was alive and well. Emotionally damaging him beyond repair. Endeavor has not once reflected on loss of family. He is not portrayed as a victim of loss, of any kind. Actually that’s a lie—he reflected 250 chapters later when Touya was mentioned and shown for the first time. And even then, before the Kamino arc when Endeavor’s arc started curving toward atonement, there was nothing. Loss of his own father? Nothing there? This whole time? You know who DID do that? Kotaro. You know how you portray someone mourning a family member? You portray it. Period. Point blank. Which, up until now for Endeavor—that has not happened. There’s no resentment from “his dad” dying for someone else’s kid either. Which is like, a big thing with this whole “hero vs family” debacle in BNHA. So I’m having a hard time believing that the start of his career is based off of his own dad doing this.

Context. Context surrounding this scene does not say it’s his dad. He’s wearing a backpack and standing behind a barricade. As if he’s on his way to or from school and saw this. He looks like a bystander. He looks shocked. But he doesn’t look like someone who just watched his own dad get pulverized in the street trying to save someone else’s kid. If it’s his dad then where’s his mom? Why haven’t we seen her? If Endeavor’s parents were such an influence in his life (like idk, Shigaraki and Touya) we should have seen them both, by now. There’s also nothing in this chapter that is telling us to feel bad for Enji. He looks like a pathetic, sorry mess that is finally overcoming HIS OWN WEAKNESSES. His dad dying is not a weakness. That’s traumatic event that would wreck anybody. It was literally stated IN THE CHAPTER that Endeavor’s enemy is his OWN WEAKNESSES. So me feeling sympathy for him after he supposedly watched his father die traumatically does not work for that message.

Moving on.

Now, let’s say I end up being a clown and god forbid, that’s his fucking dad.

Okay, it’s his dad. Sad right? Well. Kind of. Was he sad? He didn’t show it. Or maybe, “him abusing his family is because of his grief.”

Do you see the problem? Y’all thought the hospital chapters were a retcon? Oh boy. Get ready. Because if that’s his own dad—it’s about to get way fucking worse. Here’s why:

We already had to wait 190 chapters to find out that there was a tragic and horrible death in the family. Up until then Enji was this abusive and greedy POS who had absolutely no good fucking reason for doing what he was doing. No sign of remorse, no regret, nothing. Nothing at all. But then Touya is mentioned. And we learn that one of the siblings blames Enji for the death of Touya, and that Enji feels the same. Okay—so now we have a slightly more complete picture. Is Enji remorseful? Well it surely didn’t fucking look like it (and tbh this is either an actual retcon or just Hori not handling Enji well overall), but it’s believable that Enji would shift his focus to Shouto to make sure Touya didn’t “die in vein” or whatever. It’s believable, wasn’t handled the greatest, but it worked for what we had. But this whole “Oh it turns out that Endeavor took his grief out on his family the KOTARO DID” thing Does. Not. Work.

It does not work for what we know about Endeavor. First we had “Oh he’s obsessed with being the strongest, so obsessed he’ll step on people to get to where he’s going, including his own family.” Then the hospital chapters came and we had “Oh, he threw himself into Shouto’s training to avoid the emotional mess he created with Touya, and then escalated after Touya died to avoid thinking about it.” The narrative changed once, changing it a second time to a third scenario is…it’s just a dog shit writing choice.

At this point in the game, after painting Endeavor as someone who HAS to take responsibility, who NEEDS to step up as a father because there are no more excuses, it’s too late to suddenly throw sympathy into his character. It’s too late to make us go “aw….poor man…he lost his father and it traumatized him 🥺”. Endeavor as a controversial character shouldn’t be given more lax than he already has in the story. Like honestly the story does brush over his bullshit a lot as it is. I was looking past it because it looks (and still does) like he will be taking responsibility finally. But this whole garnering sympathy for his character at the last minute does not work for me. And I’m so bothered by the comparisons to Kotaro because the situations were different from the start. Kotaro and Enji are not the same. Nana and Enji are the ones to compare. But here we are, I see people already equating the two and oof it fucking bothers me.

All this to say—if that’s his dad? I’m not saying Hori is a bad writer, he’s not. But that? Would be a fucking disaster bullshit choice, in my opinion. Because it’s already leading to dumb assumptions, that Kotaro and Enji are the same. They are not. And I will die on that hill.

If that’s his dad—it’ll be a hard pill to swallow, but I’ll do it! But god bless, my opinion of this story as a whole will fall. Because I guess for some reason Hori is bound to just stumble with Endeavor until the very end.

This is my opinion on it. Whether it’s his dad or not, this is how I feel. If y’all disagree, cool. That’s your right. But don’t come tell me about it, I really don’t care. I’ll block anybody trying to start shit about it. This is an upsetting choice in my opinion and it really killed the entire chapter for me. The chapter was confusing as hell to begin, but this just ruined it entirely. I’m sure this coming week will be better, but this is annoying.

[transbianlilith]

Or some people just don’t/didn’t like Lilith for other reasons other than bigotry. It has nothing to do with misogyny (not really sure how it’s ableist either). I’m literally a woman, I’m not going to dislike a character for being female. The main reason I disliked Lilith is because she was framed as an antagonist. She cursed Eda for her own personal gain (though she has made up for it), and put Luz in danger. I don’t mind her now because she redeemed herself, but before there was no reason to believe that she was one of the “good guys”. Claiming that the only reason people dislike her is because of bigotry is such a huge stretch (not saying it doesn’t happen at all, I’m just saying there are other reasons to dislike a character).

Notice my original post said 'Lilith haters/antis' not 'people who dislike Lilith.' It's normal to dislike characters, especially ones that have been antagonists. What ISN'T okay is the fact that:

Lilith has been given so much hate over the span of the show airing it's not even funny. She made a mistake as a child, was abused and manipulated by the coven system and Emperor Belos, but was able to escape and begin making atones for her wrongs. I have NEVER seen Belos, who, by the way, is the CAUSE OF EVERYTHING, get anywhere NEAR the amount of hate she has. In fact, I've seen more people be Belos apologists/stans/simps than anything else. I've also seen Kikimora get more hate that Belos. What do these two have in common? They're both women. Tell me you don't see the misogyny there.

Further speaking on the above, YES she did make mistakes. But she cursed Eda as a CHILD who thought THE CURSE WOULD ONLY LAST FOR A DAY AND WOULD ONLY WEAKEN HER POWERS. Was that right of her? Of course not. But we've also been given insight into how Lilith was treated as a child - continuously overlooked and ignored in favor of her younger, more talented sister. I'm not blaming Eda for this - Gwen and by extent, Dell, should have done better and paid equal attention to them instead of whatever the fuck they were doing. Sure, in newer episodes, it's clear they're making up for this as well, but it was still one of the main causes in the first place. The second, of course, being Belos' manipulation and indoctrination with his coven system and the ideal that 'in order to be great, you have to make sacrifices.' Belos literally threatened to KILL Lilith if she didn’t bring Eda in - Lilith was quite literally desperate, and when anyone is desperate, they’re prone to do things they’re going to regret. We've learned Belos is even worse in newer episodes. Once again - where's the #CancelBelos movement? Nowhere to be found.

As for how it's ableist, Lilith is HEAVILY AUTISTIC-CODED. The amount of hate I've seen her get over the smallest, most insignificant things is truly telling. She's been called stupid, the r slur (yikes), a bitch, & all sorts of other insults I'm not going to go further into that can be directly linked to her being written as autistic and people finding any issue they can with that and her character. So yes, there are people who hate Lilith because they're ableist.

There are also people who claim that Lilith 'deserved' the abuse she was put through, or that it wasn't 'as bad' in comparison to say, Hunter's. This is bullshit and clearly apologetic of the abuser - Belos, in this instance. Not to mention, trauma and abuse shouldn't be compared like this. There are even people who have denied she was abused when it's been CLEARLY SHOWN in the show on multiple occasions, confirmed even, that she was. So yes, there is abuser apologism and the blaming of abuse victims for their abuse in regards to people hating Lilith.

None of this is a stretch. Once again, I did not include 'people who dislike Lilith' in my original post so I’m not quite sure why you sent this to begin with. But for anyone who DOES dislike her, maybe also examine the reason why in comparison to the points I've made above.

Lastly - this is ALSO not me saying people aren’t allowed to like Belos - what I AM saying is, hold him accountable for his actions.

[logicalbookthief]

Things Left Unsaid -- An Analysis of Rei & Touya

Apparently Rei has been getting a lot of flack lately, all of it undeserved, and since I had a post analyzing her relationship with Touya in the works already, I figured no time like the present.

Disclaimer #1: There are a lot of issues with the writing for Rei’s character that have nothing to do with her and everything to do with how the storyline is using her, which I will address and examine.

Disclaimer #2: I’m someone who, while always curious as to what kind of relationship Rei had with her oldest son before he died, never thought it would be revealed that Touya was close to his mom. I don’t think you get the Dabi we see in Chapters 290-295 without him being so warped by his relationship with his father yet so dependent on his attention that he was willing to kill his brother and himself simply for his father’s acknowledgement.

But that’s what I find so interesting about Rei and Touya -- it’s a relationship that mainly consists of regrets and things left unsaid. There isn’t the anger or resentment Dabi feels for Endeavor, because that intense level of emotion sprung from the loss of the father who used to be his whole world. His feelings toward his mother seem more amicable, but also more distant.

And while she could’ve done some things differently in regards to her oldest, I want to make it clear that the distance between them was very much by design.

After all, Touya was the end goal of their marriage. It was never any secret as to why Enji wanted to marry her and to some extent Rei must’ve realized that this child was not meant to be hers: the child was the transaction, the thing she was needed to create, to give to her husband. Of course she loved Touya and was likely his primary caregiver for most of his life, but there was no doubt that once his quirk manifested and he could begin his hero training, his life would be dominated by his father. Which is what happened.

Here, I would like to point out something I noticed in the flashback chapters. We never see any panels of Enji alone with any of his children during their infancy -- even with Shouto, the perfect child he longed for, we see Rei holding Shouto, sitting by him as he sleeps. Enji is there tangentially. Once Shouto begins his training, that is when we see him with his father.

So to see Enji with Touya when he was a baby, prior to his quirk manifesting, strikes me as a big deal. But it makes sense if you remember that he’d placed all his hopes, dreams and expectations on his firstborn. Initially, it doesn’t look like he even considered the possibility that Touya wouldn’t be his successor or that his little eugenics experiment would fail; this was his first, most optimistic attempt at a masterpiece. So I don’t believe it’s far-fetched to see him spend more time with Touya right off the bat (it’s what will make the eventual abandonment all the more crushing).

However, Rei isn’t seen at all in the snippet of Touya’s infancy, despite us knowing she was relegated to the caregiver role. Rei is literally out of the picture. Compare this to how she features prominently in Shouto’s infancy or how we see her holding a baby Natsuo. You could argue that, hey, we don’t see her holding a baby Fuyumi either, but there’s other scenes where Fuyumi’s attached to her mother’s hip or crying over her being hurt. Things that suggest a closeness, when the only scene we get of just her and Touya is one where they’re at odds. 

As we move further into Touya’s childhood, though, Rei becomes the only voice we hear advocate for him against his father. I’m referencing two specific instances:

When Enji coerces her into having more children to replace Touya now that his father has deemed him a failure, something she knows will hurt their son deeply.

And after Touya lashes out at Shouto, which Rei doesn’t blame on Touya, but rather on his father. She delivers such a satisfying condemnation of his actions, probably the most cutting one Endvr’s received to date, and it so accurately sums up one of his major character flaws.

How can you call yourself a hero when you can’t even face your own son?

The tragedy of it all is that Rei never said any of this in front of Touya -- it was always said in private, just to her husband. That alone took courage, yes, but it would’ve meant everything to Touya to hear her condemn his father aloud. Instead when she does speak to him, she says this:

It’s why I can’t wrap my head around that scene in Ch 302, where after Enji admits he didn’t know what to say to Touya, Rei replies, “Neither did I.” 

When we’re shown in flashbacks during that same chapter that she did understand her son. “He just wants to be acknowledged by you” is quite the indication that she, at the very least, understood the cause of Touya’s turmoil even if she couldn’t fully relate to it herself. So why can’t she say any of this to him?

The answer is in the way she addresses Touya, as it is nearly identical to how Nao addresses Tenko in this scene:

Both Touya and Tenko grew up in similar households: the father had all the power, physical and financial, so the mothers were left to try and comfort their children in a way that didn’t go against their husbands’ desires -- and so, to use Tenko’s own words, they would “reject them with kindness.”

So it’s no wonder that Touya lashes out at his mother after she suggests he pursue other things. He isn’t five like Tenko was, he’s thirteen and has a much clearer understanding of why she says this and why it’s a bit hypocritical, since he’s aware of her situation, too.

Just as she was bound by her family, who wanted her to marry Endvr for the money and status, he’s bound by the expectations of his family. I’m not sure if I’ve seen anyone else touch on this detail, but when Touya states that he knows his grandparents sold his mom into marriage so his dad could have a child, we could infer that Touya knows enough to realize that his mother might not have necessarily wanted him.

Not him specifically, but any child — the story has neglected to flesh her out beyond her marriage and motherhood, so we have no idea if Rei wanted to become a mother prior to this arrangement, despite how much she loves her kids now — although it is possible that he might’ve internalized it this way.

So you have Touya, who at least knows with certainty that his father wanted him to exist, yet he comes to understand that his father only wants him if he can meet a specific set of expectations, and if he cannot, he’ll be discarded. If he can’t surpass All Might, he can’t fulfill his reason for existing and his father will have to replace him. So to have his mother urge him to follow a path other than becoming a hero would mean, to Touya, accepting that he is the mistake he fears he is. Of course he isn’t going to respond well to that.

I don’t like when people try to compare Touya’s reaction in this moment to Shouto’s when Rei tells him he isn’t bound by his father’s blood, using that to paint Shouto as the “good” child and Touya as the “bad” one. They didn’t react differently because of any innate sense of goodness or lack thereof -- they reacted differently because the situations are different.

Telling Shouto that he didn’t have to be like his father comforted Shouto, who only knew his father as the bully who hurt his mom. He associated his father, and his father’s fire, with all of that fear and pain -- and thus, he associated the part of himself that took after his father with those feelings. She wasn’t denying his dream of becoming a hero, only assuring him that when he became a hero it could be whatever kind of hero he chose to be, that he wasn’t doomed to be like his father.

Whereas what she tells Touya sounds a lot like what his father told him, which was to give up on being a hero and pursue other aspirations.

Encouraging Shouto to become his own version of a hero still falls in line with what Endvr ultimately wants, which is for Shouto to be a hero capable of surpassing All Might. Whereas this is what happens when Touya continues to train to do that against his father’s wishes:

This is where the framing begins to bother me and where Rei’s characterization becomes inconsistent. 

So in this scene from Ch 302, we see Enji abusing his wife for “letting” Touya continue to train, punishing her for her “failure” to stop him. Obviously, none of that is Rei’s fault. If anything, Enji would be more responsible for preventing Touya from hurting himself since he’s the reason his son is hurting himself in the first place.

Moreover, the fact that he hits Rei over this sort of muddies the water of an previously-established narrative. Since the Sports Festival arc, we’ve known that Endvr abused his wife because she tried to interfere with Shouto’s training. It got to the point where she was terrified of her husband and it drove her to a breakdown. Why introduce this new aspect to the abuse, when it was already established that a) he was physically abusive and b) his motivations for abusing her were explicit to the audience? 

I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense that a man who hits his wife for one reason could find another reason to do it and justify his actions to himself. And while the scene does portray Endvr in a bad light to show how wrong his actions are, literally draping his figure in shadow, why does it even dare to suggest the idea that Rei was remiss in her duties as a mother? Again, the scene isn’t even necessary, since the narrative has long-since showed the audience that Enji abused his wife. 

By itself, the scene would read as further exploration of how Rei was victimized and how it affected her children. When you look at it with the chapter as a whole, though? Remember, this is the chapter where Rei claims that all of the family shares the blame in what happened to Touya, displacing some of the blame that rightfully rests on Enji. 

But my major gripe with this scene is how it reframes the sole moment we get of Rei and Touya alone. Because we know that Rei understands Touya, based on her confrontations with her husband in Ch 301 & 302. Rather than encourage him to be what he wants or acknowledge that his father is in the wrong, however, her advice falls in line with what Enji wants -- to stop Touya from training. And this comes after a scene where we see Enji beat his wife when she doesn’t stop Touya from training.

With all that in mind, it could potentially be read as Rei trying stop Touya for the sake of protecting herself and the family -- I don’t think it’s coincidence that in the scene where he hits her that we see Shouto, Fuyumi & Natsuo all as witnesses who are very distressed by what’s happening to their mother -- at the cost of Touya’s need to be validated. And if executed well or at least better than it has here, that wouldn’t be a bad choice of narrative per se, and it would fit into the pattern where the households the villains were raised in -- notably Shigaraki, Dabi & Toga -- mimic the society they live in, just on a smaller scale.

Except. Does that sort of narrative make sense based on what we already know about Rei?

Certainly, it is natural to want to protect yourself under physical and/or emotional duress by appeasing your abuser. This sort of complicated dynamic appears in the Shimura family, too. Just like in the house that Kotaro built, the Todoroki family revolves around the desires of the abuser and is dictated by his whims.

I would argue that Nao does give us a well-written example of this narrative. From the beginning, it’s established that she loves Tenko dearly. But in the house her husband built, there’s no room to love her son as he deserves. She prioritizes the feelings of Tenko’s father for the sake of maintaining peace in the household and this is established quickly and plainly.

Early on in the flashback, Kotaro exerts his control over the house, while Nao + her parents look uncomfortable. Despite this, we watch as they comply with his rules, all at the expense of Tenko’s feelings. When she stands up to Kotaro at last, it is not where Tenko can see and already too late. It’s a painful story, full of regret and sadness, but it is consistent from start to end. Nobody feels out-of-character or there to prop up anybody else.

So why doesn’t Rei feel as consistent in this narrative?

Because it doesn’t fit with everything we knew about Rei prior to her abuser’s subpar redemption arc.

The way she interacts with Touya would make sense, if this was how she was portrayed from the start. However, her behavior in Shouto’s flashback -- where she was first introduced -- contrasts what we get in the later Todoroki flashbacks.

Let’s compare this to the scenes in Ch 302. Here, Rei interferes on Shouto’s behalf. She advocates for her son in front of Shouto where he can hear. She stands up to his bully/villain and tries to protect him, while also validating his feelings in the process. Directly after this, Enji hits her, not for failing to comply with his demands, but for defying him. 

It is difficult to reconcile this Rei with the Rei we get in Ch 302. And if you try to find an in-story reason for the inconsistency, the options either do a disservice to Rei or make things even more painful for Touya. But I’m sure most of you have realized that I’m going to suggest a reason for this inconsistency that goes beyond the canon.

Because when Rei was first introduced in the story, Endvr was unequivocally the villain in the Todoroki family, not some misguided patriarch trying to atone for his “past” mistakes. Years later and in the midst of his redemption arc, the narrative seems to be intent on making this man more palatable to readers, and it’s used Rei at every opportunity to prop up his efforts to be better. Often, though, it takes some of the heat off Enji by displacing it onto other family members, most significantly Rei & Touya.

Like, you can literally see the difference in the frame from early in the manga to now:

Ch 39: Endvr trains his five-year-old to the point where he’s throwing up due overextension and being punched by a fully grown adult who is also his father. Rei tries to protect her son and gets slapped by Endvr. All the blames rests squarely on Endvr, who is clearly the aggressor and painted as the villain here.

Ch 302: Endvr hits Rei for not preventing Touya from sneaking out to train, knocking her to the ground. Again, Endvr is clearly the aggressor, but oh this time it’s not driven solely by his selfish desires it’s also cocnern for his son; Rei is the victim but oh she also should have been watching him more closely, and oh well why was Touya going out in the first place, when everyone has told him to stop and he knows his mom will get punished for it?

Honestly, I can understand where some people have mixed feelings over Rei’s character, particularly since the writing has done her such a disservice recently. With that being said, however, it takes a minimum amount of critical thinking to recognize that while you can criticize some choices she made, you cannot hold her to the same standard of accountability as Enji, it’s absurd. The power imbalance was obviously tipped in Endvr’s favor, always.

It is a shame, too, that we can’t have more discussions that don’t turn into some readers (a lot of whom are attempting to make Endvr sound less horrible than he actually was) trying to demonize her. It’s doubly a shame the story itself doesn’t bother to flesh her out as a person, instead using her as a prop, because the complex relationships she has with Touya -- with all her children, really -- has plenty of room for exploration. 

Like, there was no reason to add this new dimension of resentment due to her spouting Enji’s words back at Touya, when there was already a source of tension supported by previous canon -- the neglect the Todoroki kids suffered because Rei couldn’t be the parent they needed, due to her declining mental health and eventual breakdown.

Or, if you want to complicate their dynamic further, why not add something that focuses on Rei and has nothing to do with Enji? We learn in the flashbacks that Rei agreed to the marriage more-or-less to please her family, lamenting that she “intended to smile through it to the end,” essentially admitting that her hope was she could grin and bear it. It is telling that she had this attitude before entering her marriage; evidently, she was raised with the idea that she should be acquiescent to her parents’ whims and not express herself if she was only going to be contrary. Maybe she didn’t know how to deal with Touya’s very expressive, very emotional outbursts as a result. And her inability to respond would be the exact opposite of what Touya was seeking.

Not to mention that Touya died, and for the last decade, Rei was under the impression she had lost her son forever. He died while she was hospitalized, torn up with guilt over what she did to Shouto, only to find out that her other son died in a frankly horrific manner, and she could do nothing. By the time she would’ve found out, it was too late to even try to do anything. I can’t imagine what she must’ve felt in terms of regret alone, plus her grief. And I’m still mad we were robbed of her reaction to Touya being alive, because now suddenly there is a chance to do something, to change what was once written in stone.

Or what about Touya’s feelings for his mother, that have yet to be given much depth? As the oldest and most aware of his existence, it seems like he was the first to truly understand his mother’s situation and I can’t help but wonder: If Touya knew he vessel for his father’s ambition, and his mother was sold into role of creating/caring for him, did he question her love for him? Once he found out one parent’s love was conditional, it wouldn’t be a leap for him to consider it for the other. And yet if that’s true, Dabi doesn’t appear to hold any ill-will towards her for that. He was angry at her hypocrisy, because he knows she should understand, but her words to him didn’t reflect that.

All of that is fascinating and so much better than what we got in canon, so far at least. I’m hoping for them interact in the present at least once before the end of the series, and I think they will, but as to how satisfying a reconciliation it’ll be, I guess we’ll have to wait to see how the Todoroki plotline progresses from here on out.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 09 first part

(Masterpost) (More Canary Funsies)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

This episode features so many eternal minutes of zombie shambling that I thought I could fit everything into a single post. HA HA HA HA nope. 

Zombie Temple

The trio do their best to fend off the not-zombies in the temple. Lan Wangji tells Wei Wuxian that he can’t go carving them up because they’re not actually dead, and drops a callback to their very first meeting at the gate of Cloud Recesses, when Wei Wuxian caught his attention with his pillowy lips comment on the not-dead cultivator. 

Lan Wangji: You said it in that golden moment that will be seared into my memory for eternity, where I heard your voice and laid eyes on your angelic face and lost my heart forever, remember? Come on, babe, it was our very first zombie! How baked were you?

Wei Wuxian: I jerk off to the sword-fighting memory, not the zombie memory, you weirdo.

Nie Huaisang’s fear of the definitely not undead has apparently gotten him the rest of the way over his fear of Lan Wangji, because he’s now yelling “Lan-Xiong!” right along with “Wei-Xiong!” as he struggles. Note that although he later mentions that his fan is made of some fancy metal, we don’t see any evidence that he wants to fight with a fan any more than he does with a blade. I don’t hate anyone’s fan-fighting NHS headcanon, but my take is that he just isn’t a physical fighter, and that’s ok. 

This is a good time to remember that our entire experience of the Nie clan so far in this story is 1. Clever but hopelessly combat-unready tiny artiste Nie Huaisang 2. Quietly helpful, absurdly pretty sidekick Meng Yao. 

We don’t know yet that Nie Huasang’s gege and Meng Yao’s sugar daddy is literally the toughest motherfucker in the entire cultivation world. But his friends do! Which makes me love these dynamics even more, because not one of them criticizes Nie Huaisang for being the person he is. 

(more after the cut!)

Never Let Me Go

This scene is where Wei Wuxian gives his tacit consent to being used as the eventual agent of Nie Huaisang’s vengeance....ok not really.

But he does make it clear what Nie Huaisang should do when he’s in a pickle. And NHS doesn’t forget things.

Priorities 

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji isn’t nearly as patient as Wei Wuxian, and he drops a silence spell on Nie Huaisang basically out of annoyance. It’s not like they’re trying to be sneaky. 

Lan Wangji: How about you have an exquisitely crafted ceramic cup of shut the fuck up?

Flute Girl

Wen Qing comes to the rescue by summoning all of the not-zombies, who happen to be her extended family, to come toast some marshmallows. 

She’s another person who unwisely demonstrates, where Wei Wuxian can hear her, the power of flutes over zombies. 

This move doesn’t seem to do anything important but it looks cool. 

Brother Dynamic: Bad. Really Bad. 

Jiang Cheng shows up in the temple and trolls everyone, because this is a great time for childish antics. Wei Wuxian is super happy to see him and runs over to hug him, which earns him a shoulder slam. 

This is a regular part of their body language with each other. Wei Wuxian covers his hurt reaction very, very quickly, with a smile that doesn’t involve very much of his face. 

Ow

Wei Wuxian is so good at pretending his feelings aren’t hurt, he probably convinces himself. 

Then he gives a too-honest answer when Jiang Cheng accuses him of...daring to enjoy himself, basically.

That’s more truth than Jiang Cheng was looking for, and he raises a hand to Wei Wuxian, who hides behind Nie Huaisang. This move is interesting because on one level it’s just clowning; obviously Nie Huaisang can’t protect WWX from anything, and WWX doesn’t need protection from Jiang Cheng. 

WWX can easily beat JC in a fight, as he’s let us know before. On another level, this retreat signals WWX’s harmlessness, his childlike-ness, in a semiotic dance that has been playing out for over a decade between the brothers.  NHS is taking on Jiang Yanli’s role in the choreography, this time.   

All of this troubling hostility doesn’t make Jiang Cheng a bad person. He’s young and he’s still under his parents’ control and subject to their abuse at home. It takes time to develop mindfulness about this stuff and learn to treat people beneath you differently than the way you are treated. 

Jiang Cheng isn’t ready for that yet, any more than he is ready to say out loud that he cares about his brother. 

Leave My Boyfriend Out of It

This interaction is noteworthy for Wei Wuxian defending Lan Wangji to his brother, before Jiang Cheng even has a chance to blame Lan Wangji. 

Wei Wuxian says that following Lan Wangji was his own idea, and then gives LWJ the sweetest, warmest smile.

Lan Wangji also gets a pair of totally unearned, delighted smiles of thanks from his two besties when he lifts the silence spell on Nie Huaisang. 

Being mildly dickish all the time works out fine, I guess, if you only make friends with people whose brothers are legendary grouches.

Grilling Wen Qing

Wei Wuxian finally decides he’s had enough of Wen Qing’s crap, and gets slightly aggressive in questioning her.

He’s not actually roughing her up but he is approaching her as a near-enemy for the first time, rather than as someone who wants to be her friend. Once Wen Qing tells him what’s up and agrees to a sort of temporary alliance, he goes back to being his normal slightly awkward self with her. 

I don’t romance-ship WQ and WWX, except maybe as corpse-mountain era FWB, but I do like their chemistry. And their friendship is really refreshing and interesting, based on sharing goals and working together, not on emotional intimacy. It’s nice to see people with a lot of barriers around their hearts, building a strong, trusting bond without having to actually open up very much.

The idea of perfect sharing between people is a nice one, but it’s pretty alien to many of us who are recovering from trauma, or people who just aren’t wired that way, and it’s good to see other models of friendship and love. 

Wei Wuxian, at Lan Wangji’s direction, parts the Red Sea drops a cage on the other 3 cultivators before going to hunt the dire birdy.  

Jiang Chang is, predictably, pissed off about it, in spite of Wei Wuxian’s “you’re good at this” parting words, and says, according to the subtitles, “you bastard!”

“Bastard” is a pretty specific epithet, in English. In the current century, it’s generally used to mean “asshole,” more or less. But it still does carry the meaning “of illegitimate birth,” and since The Untamed is often concerned with legitimacy it seems pretty strong for JC to use with someone who is rumored to be his own Dad’s by-blow. 

Let’s have a look and see what he really is calling him... 你混蛋 =  Nǐ húndàn = “you bastard” per Google translate. Wow, Jiang Cheng, you really went there, huh. 

Wen Granny

Wen Qing and the others in the golden cage watch as the not-zombies try half-heartedly to get to them. Wen Qing is super sad about it, as opposed to the two guys who are just annoyed (Jiang Cheng) or scared (Nie Huaisang).

The first time I saw this, it was just - oh, Wen Qing sympathizes with this poor random woman, she feels bad about what's happening, this is to show us she has a heart.

Now though --  that's HER granny. Maybe not her bio-grandma but clearly a granny of her clan, who she knows well, who later cares for A-Yuan when he's a child, so may very well have cared for A-Qing and A-Ning when they were small, too. Owie.

Dire Bird Hunting

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian run off to hunt the smoke bird together. They are quickly trapped in cool-looking fog. Kudos to the Director of Photography.

They spend some time being confused and also being peak Wangxian 1.0 as they help each other out. 

Lost in the fog and unable to summon talismans, Wei Wuxian is mainly about checking on Lan Wangji, making sure he’s ok, making sure he’s near.  He doesn’t spare any worry for himself.

(We get a rare instance of seeing an actually glowing sword here, instead of just having a character say “I saw the beams of swords!” to save money on VFX.)

Lan Wangji, meanwhile, understands the mental attack they are under, explains it to Wei Wuxian with only a little snark about Wei Wuxian’s overly busy mind, and teaches him how to handle it.

Lan Wangji is super disciplined in mind, body, and sword - his fight moves don’t change, really, throughout his life, but he gets better and better at execution. Wei Wuxian isn’t exactly undisciplined, but he’s super creative and busts out a new skill in nearly every encounter. Lan Wangji sees this and is learning to make use of it.

After Lan Wangji helps Wei Wuxian overcome the confusion that is blocking his talisman use, he tells him which talisman to use. 

This isn’t a talisman that LWJ uses himself, it’s just that he’s paying very close attention to WWX’s battle moves, and has a great memory, so he knows which ones will work. In a pretty short timespan he’s moved from thinking like a solo swordsman to thinking as part of a team with a broad range of battle skills. Very soon, he’ll be starting to use Wei Wuxian’s talismans himself. 

WWX takes a hit from the flying death chain, but uses it to his advantage, as in so many encounters. He’s not just self-sacrificing--he is definitely that--but he’s also a chess player, knowing how to use a sacrifice or an injury to his advantage. Cue Lan Wangji being worried for the entire rest of his life.

Part Two is here!

[jitterbugjive]

Something I wish more people would understand is how unhealthy and misguided I was in my early 20s. I came out of a life of mental and sexual abuse, for a bit I had a much older boyfriend than me that I didn’t realize until fairly recently was grooming me since I was 14. I was a hyper sexual teenager due to the exposure I had in childhood and I sought people out constantly to ERP with, even adults, without really thinking anything was wrong with that. I had an old friend who started running away from home to look for random adult men to sleep with so my understanding and feelings towards that kind of situation got all twisted and confused and I didn’t know how to help my friend. I had another friend who was pulled in to a 3 way by another minor and an adult, and the other minor was also the sort who actively looked for adult men who would be sick enough to sleep with her. And my best friend had a sister who was also exhibiting this behavior despite my friends’ many protests, because their mom didn’t give a single fuck about anything. I had an older babysitter, by older I mean in his 60s, who would bring up conversations about sex with me and show me porn on TV from when  I was 10-13. I was dealing with unchecked PTSD which made me overly reactive, prone to fits of anger and anxiety.

My point is, back then I didn’t have any kind of professional help or anywhere I could go for answers on things I didn’t understand or had a limited understanding of. When I ask the question ‘what do you do if a kid is seeking out adult sexual attention’ it’s not because I’m trying to blame kids for this, it’s because it scares me when kids are unknowingly, maybe even knowingly, exposing themselves to danger for whatever screwed up reason they may have. And no one wants to talk about that kind of situation, so I couldn’t find any answers. I couldn’t find an appropriate way to process my feelings on the matter, my understanding of it, the way I viewed it, I couldn’t find what the correct way to feel or deal with it was. Again, because no one wants to talk about it. With my naivety and personal experience, I at first held resentment towards kids like that, because I remember being put in danger because of them or they put my friends in danger, and those kids seemed very sure of their choices even when they were perfectly aware it was wrong. One of them I knew, even as an adult, didn’t ever think anything was wrong with what they did, they didn’t come with that regret you hear most people talking about. I regret the way I’ve reacted to these situations and I regret the way I phrased things when I was trying to come to terms with this issue that I’d been honestly traumatized by.

Another thing I didn’t understand in my early 20s was appropriate boundaries, because I wasn’t given appropriate boundaries as a kid I only knew one big basic thing: Don’t do anything sexually explicit with minors.

And when it came to RP, I thought that meant PG13 content was okay. I thought if there was a fade to black, or a time skip, or an implication, it wouldn’t be a bad thing. Now, there are literally only 2 instances I can think of where there was any sort of implication of sexual acts between characters with a minor, I still made sure nothing explicit was shown or explored and I was of the impression that I was just letting the other person have fun because that’s what they were in to. And that was a mistake. Not as big of a mistake as it could have been, mind you, but I’d never cross that line. I thought I had a good line drawn in the sand but I didn’t really understand where it was supposed to be. Because if we’re gonna be honest here, looking back I know now even romantic fluff RP between an adult and a minor isn’t okay, even if it’s through characters and not as ourselves.

I know now how much of an emotional impact RP can have on a person, considering most of my romantic relationships started with RP. When you have a character you deeply connect to interacting with someone else’s character, it’s really easy to start mistaking your character’s feelings for your own. You could believe because your characters get along so well that maybe the two of you can get along romantically too. I’m not saying that RP shouldn’t lead to romance, but that it can easily blind a person from how their RP partner really is. So it’s dangerous to RP with kids like this. I should know, my abusive ex that groomed me until I turned 18 in order to date me certainly had me convinced we were meant for each other just because our characters clicked and my character happened to be a representation of myself.

Something I’m really ashamed to admit as well is a serious misjudgement on my part, where for some reason I assumed bodily fluids weren’t NSFW. Probably because I’ve seen people get away with censoring out naughty bits but leaving the spunk in an image, or just drawing the character with spunk on them or something. Point is, people were getting away with it not being flagged as porn, and my dumb brain was like ‘okay so it’s not that bad’. I need to make something clear here, I don’t entirely remember what happened or why it happened, but it’s true that Bedeviled Derpy had a post that showed spunk in 2 of the images and it was drawn from some sketches of mine by a teenager. I don’t believe I would have requested such a thing, I certainly didn’t script it to say ‘draw spunk here’, in fact the sketches don’t show any indication of a mess anywhere. I just remember being given the finished images with the spunk being added, and I was dumb enough to think “oh yeah this is totally okay for a SFW blog” and my brain didn’t even register like ‘hello yes a child drew this maybe ask them to remove the spunk also spunk isn’t sfw or child friendly in any way shape or form’

Some people, maybe only a handful, or more, I don’t know, but some people have this assumption that my mindset in all of this was like “Hahaha I’m taking advantage of a minor” and that’s just... not it?

I’m a colossal dumbass, I admit that, and I was really irresponsible, but it was NOT because I had any intentions on preying on a child. I just don’t do that.

The things I said and did, I did out of ignorance, and most of the bad stuff people talk about me saying was from 5+ years ago, before I got any help, before I had anyone to walk me through these incredibly complex emotions and opinions that were ingrained in my head since childhood.

I just wish that people could see I had no malice or ill intent, I wish people could realize they’re way overthinking my actions and taking things a lot more personally than they were ever meant to be. Maybe if they could see this for what it is rather than assuming I’m a villain who purposefully did everything wrong, they could learn to move on in a healthy way.

I understand I did a lot of harm and there’s no undoing that.

But I do NOT deserve to be accused of pedophilia. Pedophilia has literally ruined my life and my perception of the world. I’m a victim too, and just because I became an adult doesn’t mean I suddenly know right from wrong. That’s not how becoming an adult works. You’re allowed to make mistakes as an adult, being an adult doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes any more. Yes it’s easier to say to someone ‘you were just a kid, it was a mistake, you didn’t know any better’, but adults have a hard time knowing ‘any better’ too. We’re always growing and learning and I’d like to think people are smart enough to see that I have grown in to a better person.

I hope people can find it in their hearts to forgive me, but I fear some people are too far gone down the rabbit hole of being convinced that everything was on purpose and from malice, that I’m some evil mastermind who thrives on manipulation and taking advantage of kids. I’ve only ever associated with 2 minors since becoming an adult and I have no intention of associating with any more that aren’t directly connected to my family or my friends.

Anyone who actually knows me would know I have a 0 tolerance for IRL pedophilia, when I found out a member of one of my groups was showing nudes to minors he was immediately kicked out and I kept tabs on the situation to make sure he’d be caught by police. When a member in my server was exposed for ERP and orbiting with a minor, I kicked him out too.

I worry about kids to a point that it’s part of my PTSD, I have anxiety attacks just worrying about how a kid might be getting harmed, the last thing I want to do is bring harm to them.

And I did cause harm, I didn’t know that was what I was doing, but I did, because I wasn’t mature enough to understand how to interact with kids as an adult. And again, I’m just incredibly sorry things had to even come to this. I’m not lying when I say I think about this every single day, and sometimes spiral in to really bad anxiety because of it. It affects me heavily.

I want to move on.

And I want the people affected to move on too.

Because dwelling on this isn’t going to do anyone any good.

[nightingtalehearts]

2Ha Thoughts.

I honestly applaud Chen Feiyu for taking on the role of Mo Ran. It's really hard to act out his character, so I said to myself that I wouldn't have any high expectations for the incoming live drama adaptation. Most people think that Feiyu will act out 3 versions of his character - Mo Ran 0.5, Mo Ran 1.0, and Mo Ran 2.0 - but for me, I like to think that there are 4 different ones.

SPOILERS AHEAD!! BE WARNED!!

First, he'll act out as the infamous Taxian-jun, who is a savage, bloodthirsty, and lustful mound. He is quick to anger and won't hesitate on killing anything that's on his path (except umm..of course, Chu Wanning hehe). This version is the evil form of his emotions, the one that the flower brought out, and twisted himself so hard that he would be horrified by the things he've done if he had any left sanity in him. (2Ha readers would, of course, know this as we experience his thoughts and emotions as he was reincarnated in his second life later on.) Everything this person did was on the image of his supposed lover, Shi Mei. He thought he dearly loved him so held everyone, most especially Chu Wanning, in contempt after Shi Mei passed away.

Second, he'll act out as Mo Weiyu. In this version, he is a disciple of Chu Wanning, the Yunheng Elder, and he is also a cultivator and an acquaintace to others, such as Ye Wangxi and Nangong Si. People see him as a person with filial respect (which WE know will be ironic since he fell in love with his shizun later on, for goodness' sake 😂) and average skills - he doesn't have a spiritual weapon yet, nor does he have good calligraphy or communication abilities. He is a hardheaded person, as we can see from his vehement denial on many things, including his affair with Rong Jiu. At this point, he is slowly "falling out of love" from Shi Mei and he begins his path towards redemption, looking for things and silver linings in every situation.

Third, he'll act out as Mo Ran, which subjectively, is the hardest role yet. Even I can't explain him this well because this version of his character is so complex. It can actually be divided into two parts. The first part: as a child, in his heart, he desperately craves and needs love. Mo Ran was the child that loved his mother, who named her as the first person that he liked the most in the world. He was the child who saw the hope and joy in everything despite all the pain and hurt that the world gave him. He was the kid that was beaten down to the dust, yet when he recived food from a stranger, he held the latter dearly in his heart, grateful for his blessings. He's the teen who entered Sisheng Peak, who immediately picked Chu Wanning because he said that he looks the gentlest and the most easy-going. He's the person who only had the purest love for Chu Wanning, and he's also the person who died just to protect him. (For me, this version of him died when he made Shi Mei take him instead of Chu Wanning. At that point he slowly became Taxian-jun, a puppet molded by Shi Mei.) And let's not deny it: just like how Mo Ran unknowingly loved Chu Wanning here, the latter also unknowingly loved him too. As of that point, they didn't "fall in love" with each other, but they were each other's light - they both gave each other the love they both deserved, so at most, they were each other's precious treasures.

The second part is on his next life. He is now known as the cousin of Xue Meng, the adopted nephew of Madam Wang & Xue Zhengming, the sect brothers of A-Mei and A-Meng, and the unruly disciple of Chu Wanning. At this point, he realizes that he may not have loved Shi Mei that deeply as he thought, but take note that he doesn't think that he is in love with his shizun yet. In the contrary, at this point, he is still adapting to his new circumstances, and he is learning new things as well as patching up misunderstandings. From his past life, his personality drastically changes, as shown from the immense change in spiritual weapons, from Bugui to Jiangui. This goes to show that even if they are the same person, he is a breaker that can lead himself to a different path. (Readers would also be giddy when they find out that Jiangui is similar to Tianwen, which symbolizes the deeply encased love he has. It also symbolizes that Mo Ran is an oblivious idiot periodt.)

Mo Ran is also the version who was conflicted by his own emotions. He is the person who begins to understand and notice some things, the person who finds out that his shizun was protecting not only him, but also everybody all along. It is he who sees Chu Wanning truly, and he notices that despite all the harsh wards and cold persona that the latter has, deep inside, he has a soft heart. It's he who notices everything that went wrong in his previous life, and he's also the person who's confused on his past actions. After Chu Wanning died, through Xue Meng drilling it into his brain, he found out that he was protecting him from the shadows, going as far by carrying him through more than three thousand steps to save him. (catch me crying in the corner I CAN'T WITH CHAPTER 97 HUHUHU) He's the person who regretted deeply.

Finally, the last version he'll act out is Mo-zongshi. This version started after the death of Chu Wanning, and also when he was about to go to the underworld. At that point, he saw all the instances where his shizun showed his love. He saw the wontons scene, in which he tried his best to assure his shizun that he doesn't need to be sorry, because on that specific day, the very reason why he was whipped, was because he stole that flower just for Chu Wanning, him. (btw all the symbolisms in this novel ARE INSANE like the flowers?? it could be for either the one mentioned or the ones Shi Mei planted. let's not mention the food: wontons, bowl of soup, bowl of congee, EVEN THE DAMN HOTPOT) He's the person who put back the pieces of the one he loves, brought him back to life, and waited five years for him.

He's a man in grief. He's a man in love.

While he waited for Chu Wanning to wake up, he now became the person that he very much wanted to be when he was younger: a hero. Now, he was Mo-zongshi, a famous cultivator known for his strength and bravery. He took on fights and got injured, but he never once stopped because he did it all for his shizun, to make him proud. Unconsciously, because of his yearning (CATCH ME CRYING AGAIN the quote?? "To yearn unwittingly breaks the willow branch." nOO), he copies Chu Wanning, down to his handwriting, his style of fighting, his outfit, and the way he looks. The person that's deeply in his heart is shown outside, so much that even Nangong Si mistakenly thought that he was Chu Wanning. Later, after Chu Wanning wakes up and after certain circumstances, he realizes that he was and still is in love with him all along, not Shi Mei.

At this point, Chu Wanning also falls in love with him. He saw the goodness in his heart, the strength and bravery he had, and the kindness he showed towards others. Aside from the bonus brownie points which is Mo Ran's looks (not blaming shizun, our husky is too good-looking!!), they now resolve their misunderstandings and their relationship turns deeper. When Mo-zongshi finally confesses...incoming fluff all around.

But like the Mo Ran version, his ending is way too sad. He deserves to know that it wasn't his fault that he turned out this way. It wasn't his fault that he turned out to be evil and hurt his lover. I know this, you know this, all readers know this, Chu Wanning knows it, but he doesn't, which is the most painful thing ever, because how much does it hurt for you to think that you abused the man you love in your past life? I was quite literally sobbing when he mentioned that Chu Wanning was his "God", his dragon, who had come to save him even if he felt like he didn't deserve it. He died, and he was the person who Chu Wanning mourned over, because it wasn't his fault, it never was.

(...i'm so empty inside...chapter 279...that chapter legit suffocated me due to my tears...)

But at the end, all those versions of him are, at core, the same. They may not show it similarly, but they are all strong on their beliefs, they are all stubborn and determined, they all love deeply and fiercely, immensely passionate and protective over the ones they love, and they are all a good person, if you look deeply into his heart.

Through Taxian-jun's dreams and his protection of his lover's corpse, through Mo Weiyu's determination on his redemption, through Mo Ran's regrets and understanding, and through Mo-zongshi's grief and love, it can be said that this character is one that you couldn't help but love. It's been so long, but his character really stood out to me from the many novels I read. This character is complex, with different versions of himself, but at the end of the day, it's still the person we love: our very own husky A-Ran.