#consumed that shit as if tomorrow wouldnt come

[swallowtail-ageha]

I think someone should study the fact that all of the moral issues people have with coleen hoover are just the modern day version of "this erotic literature will corrupt our pure women!"

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[edge-lorde]

I want to content create but I won’t have much time tomorrow probably so I think I’ll rate every Neanderthal based piece of popular media I remember consuming.

Parameters ARE: 1) believability. writers love to give Neanderthals special abilities that no real animals have ever ever had. These once-living creatures absolutely would not have had the ability being ascribed.

2) characterization. The Neanderthals are written as real characters and not like a monolith or like a one-dimensional movie monster.

3) hybrids. Neanderthal/modern human hybridization plays an important role in the story.

4) interspecies sex. Almost always linked to #3. a higher score in this category or #3 does not necessarily indicate a greater quality piece of media. in fact, i personally dont prefer a lot of sexual content in the media i consume. however, these concepts show up so often in neanderthal stuff, its basically part of the genre. 

5) accuracy. The attempt to accurately portray how Neanderthals and modern humans are different, and the quality of it’s execution.

1st up: clan of the cave bear by Jean M. Auel.

Brief summary: a modern human girl is found and raised by neanderthals. 

Believability: 5. Book was obviously well researched, but was published in the 60’s and a lot has changed since then. Also they can remember the their ancestors memories. they also have limited ability to learn new things and life in strictly hierarchical societies based around biological sex, and have a universal language they are all born knowing. 

Characterization: 9. 99% of characters are Neanderthals.

Hybrids: 8. Birth of hybrid baby very important to story. 

Interspecies sex: 2. warning, non-graphic description of rape. Modern human/modern human Sex plays huge role in second book in series, hybrids/ interspecies sex was discussed also but never happened. Did not read past second book because of the sheer quantity of porn, but very little of that was in the first book.

Accuracy: 6. Does good job of differentiating Neanderthals from modern humans but once again, the science has changed since the book was published.

Neanderthal by John darton

Brief summary: scientists find secret location where neanderthals have survived to the modern day, journey to the center of the earth style.

Believability: 2. They are psychic and can see through each other’s eyes. Characterization: 3. The Neanderthal characters don’t speak/ are more allegories for the progression of man or some shit.

Hybrids: 0. No mention or implication of hybrids.

Interspecies sex: 1. One iffy scene.

Accuracy: 4. Good differentiation between modern humans and Neanderthals. Good criptid vibe. But is it accurate? Hard to say.

Neanderthal parallax series by Robert j. Sawyer 

Brief summary: neanderthal quantum physicist from an alternate universe where neanderthals survived and we did not falls through a portal to our world. 

Believability: 4. They all supposedly see the most logical solution to a problem and just do it without making mistakes, because they just do. Also they're immune to the Pavlov’s dog learning test thing in psychology so they can all be atheists and it effects them in no other way. Come on now. 

Characterization: 9. Many Neanderthal characters written as individual people. 

Hybrids: 7. the conceiving of a hybrid child very important to last book.

Interspecies sex: 6. One sex scene in the second book, because there had to be one apparently. 4-6 more that are fade to black.

 Accuracy: 4. You can tell the author did a lot of cursory googling, but large swaths of plot are based on incorrect assumptions. The author comes up with cool mechanics based on googleable theories, but the full implications of them are always half-baked. 

 The goblin reservation by Clifford d. Simak.

Brief summary: future college professor must solve mystery surrounding a dying alien planet in a sci-fi + fantasy setting. involves time travel. 

Believability: 10. No fantastical powers ascribed. 

Characterization: 10. There is one Neanderthal character in the book and he’s the best character in the book. Love him. Hybrids: 0. No mention or implication of hybrids. 

Interspecies sex: 0. No mention or implication.

Accuracy: 5. The one Neanderthal character is treated as a character first and well written. However, it’s doubtful that the author put much effort into accuracy because the only differences between the Neanderthal and the other characters seem to be cultural. But the book was also published in the 60’s and he still holds up as a character, so maybe that’s a good thing. Could be accurate. 

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!! The secrets of the immortal Nicolas flamel series by Michael Scott 

Brief summary: a set of teen twins get caught up in saving the world from ancient mythological gods and shit. there are immortal humans too. sorry i remember very little of the overarching plot, but damn that twist ending.

Believability: 10. There’s magic in this series but Neanderthals don’t have it by virtue of being Neanderthals. 

Characterization: 10. It is revealed in the end of the last book that the main teen boy in the series was a Neanderthal the entire time. There was zero indication of this before hand, so he is written as well as any main character in a teen fantasy novel. 

Hybrids: 1?. It’s implied that Neanderthals are as much human/were absorbed into the modern human population eventually, but it’s pretty irrelevant to the story. 

Interspecies sex: 1. Implied the way hybrids are implied. I don’t think the kid ever even had a girlfriend throughout the series either. 

Accuracy: 2. no indication the author even knew Neanderthals are supposed to look a little different. The kid ends up being immortal and legendary, all kinds of crazy time powers and shit, all of it having more to do with being human than homo neanderthalensis. Being a Neanderthal is inconsequential to his being a normal angsty teen, legendary hero, and literal god. i doubt any neanderthal research was done, or at least it was not taken into account when writing the character.  

 Hominids by Jordan kotzebue (webcomic).

Brief summary: all species of hominids live in a jungle together. maybe the doing of sci-fi stuff? :o

 Believability: 9. Neanderthals don't seem to have any special abilities. We will see what the sci-fi genre has to offer once the comic is finished..

  Characterization: 8. Many Neanderthal characters, but writing isn't as strong as it could be in general. 

 Hybrids: 8. Hybrid pregnancy. We will see how it pans out, once again the comic is ongoing. 

 Interspecies sex: 5. Definitely happens at least once, but not an explicit comic (no porn). we will see if its important to the plot later on.

 Accuracy: 8. Major differences between Neanderthals and modern humans are cultural. Also Neanderthals are drawn with waists. Experts agree that they were shaped like little barrels. does go out of its way to include other types of hominids though, so its a little educational.

and last but not least Neander-chan by Lemniskate on deviantart

Brief summary:  neanderthal girl falls in love with modern human boy and attempts to stop their clans from killing each other. looks like the whole thing stemmed from a simple pun.

Believability: 8. they arent ascribed any wild abilities that couldnt also be ascribed to modern humans in the story. i dont think a ton of research was done though.

Characterization: 9. many neanderthal characters with differing personalities. 

Hybrids: 2. definitely implied/foreshadowed as a thing that COULD happen should the story continue, however the comic might be complete as-is.

Interspecies sex: 7. definitely happens and is important to the story, but the comic is never explicit.  

 Accuracy: 5. has a bit of modern humans killing off neanderthals narrative, but the story is not designed to educate. the neanderthals could be replaced with a rival group of modern humans and the story wouldnt change.  

neanderthal media i am aware of but have yet to consume:

the kroods (film): gotta get in on that nic cage action.

The Ugly Little Boy: originally a short story by Isaac Asimov, later expanded with collaborator Robert Silverberg. time travellers take a neanderthal boy away from his family to the present but he has to stay in a specialized room by himself all the time i think. gotta get in on that shit but could not find at library. 

if you are aware of any other neanderthal-based media not listed anywhere in the above text please contact me at http://edge-lorde.tumblr.com/ask 

thank you

[samanthasroberts]

The Best & Worst Foods To Eat At Any Fourth Of July BBQ

Ah, July 4th: a time in America where our differences are put aside (until we get belligerently drunk) so we can chug beer, wear really questionable American flag attire, listen to Kid Rock, and set things on fire/explode anything in sight as a show of respect for our founding fathers. Navigating a barbecue when it comes to your diet, of course, is nothing if not explosive and dangerous. I mean, how are you supposed to know whats actually good for you and what will probably make you gain five pounds immediately? Weve rounded up the five best and five worst foods youll see at the barbecue this weekend, so, youre welcome for ensuring you stay skinny in your American flag bikini.

BEST: 1. Watermelon

Wanna stay hydrated while destroying things in Americas name? Best get you some watermelon. Not only does it have like, zero calories, but itll keep you feeling and looking great (see: not bloated) while your brother tries to blow his fingers off with firecrackers.

2. Grilled Chicken Wings

Note all three words in that nameGRILLED being the main one. If your host is throwing wings on the grill, opt for salt and pepper over a dunk in some sauce. Itll be essentially the same as regular grilled chicken, but you can still feel cute eating it sans the shit on your face and hands.

3. Water

Our boring friend water saves the day again. Obviously youll be wanting to hit up the bar, but chugging a few bottles of water between your snacks and drinks will keep you from diving into the macaroni salad or brownie tray. Plus, setting off fireworks and nearly losing fingers is exhausting, so like, be hydrated.

4. Fruit

Shit, there should be platters of those blueberry and strawberry kebabs celebrating the land of our ancestors all over and self-respecting July 4th barbecue. Fill up on all this shit before the real food even comes out since were talking super limited calories but lots of fiber. Same rules apply for the crudits plate that’s otherwise getting no love. Take advantage of the situation and load up on the earths bounty, bitch.

5. On The Rocks

Skip the beer and the mixed shit and put everything on the rocks if you dont want to be bloaty and farty on July 5th. Instead of your typical 300-plus-calorie margarita, pour some tequila over ice with a splash of lime (or, if you’re like me, a whole bunch of limes). If youre feeling rum or vodka, put it over ice with some fruit cubes you can steal from the fruit platter everyone is ignoring. Thomas Jefferson would have done the same shit.

WORST: 1. Fried Chicken

As we said during Memorial Day: Anything thats coated in buttermilk, flour, butter, and spices and or some combo of that shit and then deep fried isnt going to do you any favors when you step on the scale tomorrow. We understand that America was totally founded on life, liberty, and the right to be obese, but trust us when we say no one wants to grease dripping down your torso while you’re standing there in a bikini. 

2. Potato Salad

Benjamin Franklin wouldnt have eaten this shit, so you shouldnt either. If you see a mayo-coated potato salad, just say no. If for some reason youre dying to be a fatass craving carbs, eat ONE hamburger bun or like, be annonying and make your host nuke a potato for you in the microwave for 6-8 minutes (the poor man’s baked potato). Potatoes have been on our shit list for a long time, so adding the word salad to the end does not make it any better.

3. Beer

The summer barbecue is not the place to show off your shot-gunning skills. Beer will bloat you, obviously. Although, if you need the beer to numb your feelings, opt for a light one. Grab a Coors Light or a Corona over the dark Guinness or Amber Ales. Who TF even brings Guinness to a July 4th party, though? You should call Immigration on them.

4. Ranch

I am convinced that ranch was conceived by enemies of AMERICA and given to us in an effort to make everyone so fat that they literally cant fight a war. Whoever did introduce is winning, too (the south will never rise again). A quarter cupwhich you could easily consume if youre standing and dunking every piece of celery into this shitweighs in at 220 calories and 22 grams of fat. Ditch this shit immediately.

5. Hot Dogs

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: hot dogs are fucking disgusting and they should not go anywhere near your mouth. They are made up of “poultry trimmings” aka mystery meats and filler plus water and corn syrup. Why is there corn syrup in your dinner meat? These are questions you should never have to ask. On top of that, all those chemicals in hot dogs could give you cancer. Even if you can’t think that long term, all that sodiuma Hebrew National will cost you 1,223 mg, AND THAT’S THE 97% FAT FREE KINDwill definitely make you bloat. I know hot dogs are like, the cornerstone of America, but I think they are also to blame for at least half of all the issues that currently plague our nation. Namely obesity. Just don’t do it.

  Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/29/the-best-worst-foods-to-eat-at-any-fourth-of-july-bbq/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/29/the-best-worst-foods-to-eat-at-any-fourth-of-july-bbq/

[jimdsmith34]

The Best & Worst Foods To Eat At Any Fourth Of July BBQ

Ah, July 4th: a time in America where our differences are put aside (until we get belligerently drunk) so we can chug beer, wear really questionable American flag attire, listen to Kid Rock, and set things on fire/explode anything in sight as a show of respect for our founding fathers. Navigating a barbecue when it comes to your diet, of course, is nothing if not explosive and dangerous. I mean, how are you supposed to know whats actually good for you and what will probably make you gain five pounds immediately? Weve rounded up the five best and five worst foods youll see at the barbecue this weekend, so, youre welcome for ensuring you stay skinny in your American flag bikini.

BEST: 1. Watermelon

Wanna stay hydrated while destroying things in Americas name? Best get you some watermelon. Not only does it have like, zero calories, but itll keep you feeling and looking great (see: not bloated) while your brother tries to blow his fingers off with firecrackers.

2. Grilled Chicken Wings

Note all three words in that nameGRILLED being the main one. If your host is throwing wings on the grill, opt for salt and pepper over a dunk in some sauce. Itll be essentially the same as regular grilled chicken, but you can still feel cute eating it sans the shit on your face and hands.

3. Water

Our boring friend water saves the day again. Obviously youll be wanting to hit up the bar, but chugging a few bottles of water between your snacks and drinks will keep you from diving into the macaroni salad or brownie tray. Plus, setting off fireworks and nearly losing fingers is exhausting, so like, be hydrated.

4. Fruit

Shit, there should be platters of those blueberry and strawberry kebabs celebrating the land of our ancestors all over and self-respecting July 4th barbecue. Fill up on all this shit before the real food even comes out since were talking super limited calories but lots of fiber. Same rules apply for the crudits plate that’s otherwise getting no love. Take advantage of the situation and load up on the earths bounty, bitch.

5. On The Rocks

Skip the beer and the mixed shit and put everything on the rocks if you dont want to be bloaty and farty on July 5th. Instead of your typical 300-plus-calorie margarita, pour some tequila over ice with a splash of lime (or, if you’re like me, a whole bunch of limes). If youre feeling rum or vodka, put it over ice with some fruit cubes you can steal from the fruit platter everyone is ignoring. Thomas Jefferson would have done the same shit.

WORST: 1. Fried Chicken

As we said during Memorial Day: Anything thats coated in buttermilk, flour, butter, and spices and or some combo of that shit and then deep fried isnt going to do you any favors when you step on the scale tomorrow. We understand that America was totally founded on life, liberty, and the right to be obese, but trust us when we say no one wants to grease dripping down your torso while you’re standing there in a bikini. 

2. Potato Salad

Benjamin Franklin wouldnt have eaten this shit, so you shouldnt either. If you see a mayo-coated potato salad, just say no. If for some reason youre dying to be a fatass craving carbs, eat ONE hamburger bun or like, be annonying and make your host nuke a potato for you in the microwave for 6-8 minutes (the poor man’s baked potato). Potatoes have been on our shit list for a long time, so adding the word salad to the end does not make it any better.

3. Beer

The summer barbecue is not the place to show off your shot-gunning skills. Beer will bloat you, obviously. Although, if you need the beer to numb your feelings, opt for a light one. Grab a Coors Light or a Corona over the dark Guinness or Amber Ales. Who TF even brings Guinness to a July 4th party, though? You should call Immigration on them.

4. Ranch

I am convinced that ranch was conceived by enemies of AMERICA and given to us in an effort to make everyone so fat that they literally cant fight a war. Whoever did introduce is winning, too (the south will never rise again). A quarter cupwhich you could easily consume if youre standing and dunking every piece of celery into this shitweighs in at 220 calories and 22 grams of fat. Ditch this shit immediately.

5. Hot Dogs

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: hot dogs are fucking disgusting and they should not go anywhere near your mouth. They are made up of “poultry trimmings” aka mystery meats and filler plus water and corn syrup. Why is there corn syrup in your dinner meat? These are questions you should never have to ask. On top of that, all those chemicals in hot dogs could give you cancer. Even if you can’t think that long term, all that sodiuma Hebrew National will cost you 1,223 mg, AND THAT’S THE 97% FAT FREE KINDwill definitely make you bloat. I know hot dogs are like, the cornerstone of America, but I think they are also to blame for at least half of all the issues that currently plague our nation. Namely obesity. Just don’t do it.

  source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/29/the-best-worst-foods-to-eat-at-any-fourth-of-july-bbq/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/the-best-worst-foods-to-eat-at-any.html

[allofbeercom]

The Best & Worst Foods To Eat At Any Fourth Of July BBQ

Ah, July 4th: a time in America where our differences are put aside (until we get belligerently drunk) so we can chug beer, wear really questionable American flag attire, listen to Kid Rock, and set things on fire/explode anything in sight as a show of respect for our founding fathers. Navigating a barbecue when it comes to your diet, of course, is nothing if not explosive and dangerous. I mean, how are you supposed to know whats actually good for you and what will probably make you gain five pounds immediately? Weve rounded up the five best and five worst foods youll see at the barbecue this weekend, so, youre welcome for ensuring you stay skinny in your American flag bikini.

BEST: 1. Watermelon

Wanna stay hydrated while destroying things in Americas name? Best get you some watermelon. Not only does it have like, zero calories, but itll keep you feeling and looking great (see: not bloated) while your brother tries to blow his fingers off with firecrackers.

2. Grilled Chicken Wings

Note all three words in that nameGRILLED being the main one. If your host is throwing wings on the grill, opt for salt and pepper over a dunk in some sauce. Itll be essentially the same as regular grilled chicken, but you can still feel cute eating it sans the shit on your face and hands.

3. Water

Our boring friend water saves the day again. Obviously youll be wanting to hit up the bar, but chugging a few bottles of water between your snacks and drinks will keep you from diving into the macaroni salad or brownie tray. Plus, setting off fireworks and nearly losing fingers is exhausting, so like, be hydrated.

4. Fruit

Shit, there should be platters of those blueberry and strawberry kebabs celebrating the land of our ancestors all over and self-respecting July 4th barbecue. Fill up on all this shit before the real food even comes out since were talking super limited calories but lots of fiber. Same rules apply for the crudits plate that’s otherwise getting no love. Take advantage of the situation and load up on the earths bounty, bitch.

5. On The Rocks

Skip the beer and the mixed shit and put everything on the rocks if you dont want to be bloaty and farty on July 5th. Instead of your typical 300-plus-calorie margarita, pour some tequila over ice with a splash of lime (or, if you’re like me, a whole bunch of limes). If youre feeling rum or vodka, put it over ice with some fruit cubes you can steal from the fruit platter everyone is ignoring. Thomas Jefferson would have done the same shit.

WORST: 1. Fried Chicken

As we said during Memorial Day: Anything thats coated in buttermilk, flour, butter, and spices and or some combo of that shit and then deep fried isnt going to do you any favors when you step on the scale tomorrow. We understand that America was totally founded on life, liberty, and the right to be obese, but trust us when we say no one wants to grease dripping down your torso while you’re standing there in a bikini. 

2. Potato Salad

Benjamin Franklin wouldnt have eaten this shit, so you shouldnt either. If you see a mayo-coated potato salad, just say no. If for some reason youre dying to be a fatass craving carbs, eat ONE hamburger bun or like, be annonying and make your host nuke a potato for you in the microwave for 6-8 minutes (the poor man’s baked potato). Potatoes have been on our shit list for a long time, so adding the word salad to the end does not make it any better.

3. Beer

The summer barbecue is not the place to show off your shot-gunning skills. Beer will bloat you, obviously. Although, if you need the beer to numb your feelings, opt for a light one. Grab a Coors Light or a Corona over the dark Guinness or Amber Ales. Who TF even brings Guinness to a July 4th party, though? You should call Immigration on them.

4. Ranch

I am convinced that ranch was conceived by enemies of AMERICA and given to us in an effort to make everyone so fat that they literally cant fight a war. Whoever did introduce is winning, too (the south will never rise again). A quarter cupwhich you could easily consume if youre standing and dunking every piece of celery into this shitweighs in at 220 calories and 22 grams of fat. Ditch this shit immediately.

5. Hot Dogs

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: hot dogs are fucking disgusting and they should not go anywhere near your mouth. They are made up of “poultry trimmings” aka mystery meats and filler plus water and corn syrup. Why is there corn syrup in your dinner meat? These are questions you should never have to ask. On top of that, all those chemicals in hot dogs could give you cancer. Even if you can’t think that long term, all that sodiuma Hebrew National will cost you 1,223 mg, AND THAT’S THE 97% FAT FREE KINDwill definitely make you bloat. I know hot dogs are like, the cornerstone of America, but I think they are also to blame for at least half of all the issues that currently plague our nation. Namely obesity. Just don’t do it.

  from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/29/the-best-worst-foods-to-eat-at-any-fourth-of-july-bbq/

[x-kumori-san-x-blog]

Things On My Mind

So I've had a lot on my mind the last few days and thought I should just spell it out in a journal to get it off my chest and just have it out there. The last few days have not been easy for me. They've been okay, and I am feeling kind of funny to say the least. Why am I feeling funny? I dont actually know, maybe its hormones, and PMS but its been irking me. The first thing is my mom, who said we would be out of the old house by the end of may, its now may 11th and no effort has been made at the old house, except by me to get stuff out. I'm supposed to be flying in 1 month to the day today and she's just diddling her thumbs not bothering to come back from the west side to do the work and it feels once again like my trip to the UK is slipping slowly through my fingers. I dont like the feeling. Its like a shadow is surrounding me, waiting to consume me and i just, I dont know how to push her to do what she needs to do, which is empty this old hell hole. Second point. She's over there living in our new house, not bothering to come back and do work while I'm stuck here, in this shit hole trying to sort stuff out. Its frustrating to say the least and I am getting tired of having to kill earwigs and crickets to take a shower and having to eat take out every day because we cant use the kitchen. Its not fair. At all. Thirdly, idk, I just I feel like I deserve to be with my husky after 8 months apart, texting and facetime and sending pics is a wonderful asset to have but I want to be with him, I want to feel his embrace again, I want to know his arms around me, and him touching me and the warmth of his body again. 8 months apart is a long damn time. And it sucks. It sucks so hard and I just am missing him so badly right now. I think thats hormones too. I think our bodies ache for our mates when we're cycling because we want to be loved. And lately I've been aching so badly for him. All I can think about is him, and being with him, and its just, a lot on top of all the stress of working again and selling my truck and trying to get a hoarders house - seriously think for a moment, about the show "Hoarding Buried Alive" okay, and then recall the worst episode you've ever seen..... okay... Thats my house, and I am not kidding you. Even if I stayed up all day and night every day til june 10th I wouldnt be able to get this house cleaned out myself. And its bullshit for my mom to think, even dare to think I'm going to try to. I dont know what she wants to keep or throw away.. and she'll just yell at me if I throw anything away anyway so I cant win. And I dont have the faculties to do it, we need a dumpster, and there isnt one. We need a U-Haul and there isnt one. I'm so tired of sitting here and waiting for her to get her ass in gear that I'm about to pay to have Austell boarded and just fly. And not give two fucks. I'm just done. With all of it. I want my man, I want my summer with him, I need my 3 months to have 2 years on my passport so I can begin the visa process, my mom knows this, she doesnt care. I'm tired of it. Exhausted, of doing all the work and not being rewarded for it. She doesnt care. Never has and she knows that my trip and my husky and i's future is riding on this trip, and this house being moved out of, and she just doesnt care. And it sucks. And I'm repeating myself. So yeah, theres that. But my husky and I are strong, we knew eventually there would be a time where we ended up being apart an entire year, and I pray to god this isnt the time, but if it is, I know we will get through it. And I know one way or another we will see each other soon. Its not the end of the world if I dont fly out in the summer but it will suck so bad. So I am keeping my paws crossed that mom gets her ass in gear and decides what the fuck to do and to do the right thing. ``` Other things: Idk, I realized today that I'm tired of being bitched out by rich people about coupons and sales and how they forgot their coupons and how they get angry when I tell them I cant help them and how selfish they are. I just want my husky. I'm in a dark place at the moment and it sucks. As happy as I seem, which I am very good at putting on a happy face, and being super pretend smiley, I just am watching all of this fall apart slowly. ( Side Note: Deer ran through my yard earlier while I was reading in my truck, and they must be hanging out in the neighborhood behind me cause I can hear them calling each other... its so cool. ) I have found myself sitting in my truck, reading a lot, or just sitting in it, completely quiet infront of the hell house, for what reason I dont know, but for some reason it calms me down. Maybe its some adverse coping mechanisim. But it works, or I will turn it around so I'm facing the road and just sit and watch cars for hours. Or sit at Maccies and watch cars, I do that more often than not now... watching cars go down busy roads is very relaxing to me. I like to look for rare or special cars. Idk, I am coping with all of this in very strange ways and I dont know why, its just what I've found relaxes me. Sitting in the truck on nice days and stretching out is super relaxing to me now. Or I just fall asleep in it. Thats relaxing too. Idk, if anyone has the answer to that maybe they can comment below? :) Anywho, I'm gonna go to bed, I have to wake up at 7am tomorrow, work til 4pm and then go and clean out my truck and sort out a meeting place for these people who want to see it saturday. yippe. They seem very interested though so fingers crossed maybe they will buy it. I'm taking my dad with me who's a professional salesman so maybe just maybe the will leave with it. Hope you all are doing better than me mentally, and all you mothers out there have an amazing mothers day weekend! :D Dog moms count too! and I am one :D ~~ Cha!.

[tis-me-riri]

All of em sweetheart :)

1. What are your hobbies?

Gaming, reading, writing sometimes. Basketball.

2. If you could have dinner with any 3 living or dead people, who would they be and why?

Living: my friend megan. cuz we talks about everything and anything and thats fun. Can’t think of anyone else tbh Dead: probably my grandfather. I dont have a third sorry.

3. What makes you laugh?

Honestly I laugh all the time. everything makes me laugh. its my way of trying to cope with my crippling anxiety most of the time.

4. What was the last good thing that happened to you?

My friend at work gave me a banana at lunch :)

5. What is your biggest goal?

Success.

6. What do you think is the meaning of life?

I think everyones life has the meaning they choose to give it. Or, that should be the case. But hah. My life personally is meaningless atm.

7. Do you believe in an afterlife?

to some extent I suppose.

8. Do you have any pet peeves?

yes. being ignored. loud chewing and slurping. grinding teeth.

9. What do you like to do on the weekends?

Like nothing. or hang with megan. or game.

10. What was your favorite TV show growing up?

I watched everything. I had a huge tv boxset collection that grew and grew. cannot select a favorite haha

11. What is your favorite TV show now?

there are too many shows to determine this. sorry.

12. What are your favorite movies?

Harry Potter movies, Marvel and Dc movies, thriller/ horror

13. Tell me one surprising fact about you.

I have feelings. I know maybe not what you are expecting, but hey, people seem to have trouble grasping that fact. soooo this is my response.

14. What do you look for in a significant other?

kindness, honesty, sense of humour/sarcasm is really attractive. But also being able to have mature conversation. being able to talk about anything. 

15. What were you like as a child?

As a child i was treated like shit but didnt care and i was always a happy person. playful and outgoing. Now I cannot say the same. I cannot socialize. almost at all.

16. What are some things on your bucket list?

travel. meet some people. buy a house.

17. Who has had the biggest influence on your life?

friends and family. all in different ways and everyone both positively and negatively

18. Do you have any pets or have you ever owned any?

Currently 2 cats. Ive owned many cats, a few dogs, some birds, etc.

19. Talk about a challenge you had recently and how you overcame it or how you plan to.

my recent challenges are still on going and im not sure im ready to talk about it just yet.

20. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose and why?

I REFUSE TO CHOOSE JUST ONE

21. Talk about a favorite childhood memory.

being happy.

22. What is your favorite commercial?

hate them all.

23. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be and why?

people suprise you. be careful.

24. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?

a friend.

25. Who is your celebrity crush?

this changes alot and i currently have not paid enough attention to have one

26. Who is your favorite musical artist?

here are a few: evanescence,halestorm, the civil wars, in this moment, five finger death punch, motionless in white

27. What is your favorite music genre?

Rock/metal/alternative styles. I listen to alot of music though.

28. What is your favorite color?

BLUE

29. What would you do if you won a million dollars?

share and save :)

30. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

Mind reader hands down.

31. What is your dream vacation?

travel the entire world!

32. What actor or actress would star as you in a movie about your life?

ask me later.

33. Where did you grow up?

Ontario canada

34. If you could trade lives with anyone else for one day, who would you trade with?

it would be cool to be anyone else for a day. just to see what its like. truly understand a person. etc.

35. What is your favorite book?

HP books

36. Who is your favorite author?

No favorite.

37. Who do you look up to?

my mom in some ways

38. What is your favorite food ever?

chicken wings

39. Are you a picky eater?

NOT AT ALL

40. Drunken story time! Go!

at a bar I def danced the pole, but other then that nothing too fun yet

41. What beverage do you consume most often?

coffee and water

42. What is the first thing you wash in the shower?

I tend to wash my arms, neck and chest first

43. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no.

44. How are you feeling right now?

really upset. really bad about myself. hah.

45. Do you plan out your outfits?

oh god no.

46. What is the closest red item to you?

liqor bottle label

47. Talk about the last dream you remember having.

I was fighting off some creep. My friend was standing in the background laughing. wouldn't help me.

48. Do you love yourself?

im trying too

49. When was the last time you cried and why?

I literally kinda just did, but it was really held back.

50. Have you ever met a celebrity?

yep. slash. at an amusement park where he was doing a concert.

51. Have you ever been to a concert?

several now.

52. What are you listening to right now?

eternally yours by motionless in white

53. Have you ever flown in an airplane?

many times.

54. What is the craziest thing you've ever done?

im boring. so nothing crazy.

55. Are your parents or guardians strict?

the opposite of.

56. Did you have a good childhood?

not the best. not the worst.

57. Have you ever been in love?

yes. a few times. 

58. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

I like to mix it up.

59. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life ever apologize?

If they ever come back ill let you know.

60. What are some of your turn-ons?

i dont have any sexual turn ons. but omg smiles make me melt.

61. What are some of your turn-offs?

ASSHOLES. and not the good kind.

62. Would you go skydiving?

sure would.

63. What are you thinking about right now?

what song to put on

64. Do you ever rent movies?

nope

65. Do you ever illegally download entertainment such as music, movies, etc.?

I use spotify so nope not anymore.

66. What is your zodiac sign?

virgo

67. Do you believe in karma or predestiny?

kinda

68. Is there anything you want to say to anyone right now?

oh fuck ya. lots of things to a few people. probably wont though.

69. Would you rather live a shorter life but be wealthy or live a longer life and struggle financially?

wherever im happier.

70. What is your stance on abortion?

i have a neutral opinion. personally if someone is not prepared to care for and raise a child, or isnt able to provide for them in every way neccessary i see no shame.

71. Do you believe in ghosts?

yeah

72. Who do you admire and why?

little bits of all the people i love.

73. What was your worst experience while under the influence of drugs or alcohol?

urmmm nearly walking off a two story landing.

74. Have you ever had a near-death experience?

car accident

75. What do you daydream about?

being cared for. 

76. Where do you want to live after retirement?

somewhere warm

77. What would you change your first name to?

I wouldnt

78. If you believe in a God or Higher Power, what one question would you want to ask Him or Her?

I dont.

79. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic?

i can be both

80. Are you more introverted or extroverted?

INTROVERTED

81. What is your dream profession?

Film Director

82. What do you worry about most?

how people i care about think about me. LOL i know its bad but, its the truth. I’m always afraid theyll realize im not enough for them.

83. When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?

new work shoes. 2 days ago. they are great.

84. Who do you compare yourself to?

i know im unique.

85. What excites you about life?

feelings. but also scares me the most too

86. What five words would you use to describe your personality?

sarcastic, shy, talkative, quiet, kind

87. What is one life lesson you learned the hard way?

people suck

88. What belief do you have that many people disagree with?

oh god. plenty and im not gunna start with it

89. If not now, then when?

tomorrow?

90. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?

yep sometimes not saying something can be a lie.

91. What activities make you lose track of time?

gaming, and other fun things

92. If you had to teach an academic subject, what subject would you want to teach?

english

93. What is your biggest regret?

that i failed

94. What will matter most to you when you're 80 years old?

people

95. Are you a messy person or a clean person?

i toss between the two

96. Are you a perfectionist?

nah

97. How tall are you?

5 ft 11 in

98. What is your guilty pleasure?

foooooood

99. Do you prefer sweet or salty?

i like both

100. What is your favorite social media website?

THIS ONE