#and is offended
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John Mack won the Pulitzer Prize and then got really, really into alien abductions and hypnosis. Also supposedly went to a park and waited for the aliens to come abduct him, but that might just be local folklore.
sorry it would really be so funny if a pulitzer prize winner wrote a book about how vampires are real. this sort of thing does happen in real life but they're always anti-vaxxers or transmisogynists or something. respected guy who suddenly swears that vampires are real is so good
#insert joke about Anne Rice vampire lore here#also the hardcore conspiracy theorists think he was assassinated by MK ULTRA so there's a spicy idea you could run with for your fic#Daniel discovers some people think he's lying about being a vampire bc his government minders are keeping him on a short leash#and is offended
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Tim: Want to play a game?
Jason: *war flashbacks to knife monopoly* ...okay...?
Tim: It's called 'Jon or katana'. I give you actual quotes from Damian, and you guess if he was talking to his sword or his boyfriend.
Jason:
Jason: Awesome.
#cass steph and dick walk in while theyre playing it and are very offended they were not included#incorrect batfamily quotes#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#damijon#jon kent
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The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind
Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal, the real Light of Mankind.
It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.
#bruce offended parent and signals biggest fan wayne#hes so petty about it during JL meetings. he shuts down all the lights on the watchtower#Batman we cant see#well thats not a problem cause the light of mankind should be able to light up the room while stating directly at superman who just#looks so resigned#Tim floods the internet with pictures of Duke using his powers and fighting villians all with the hashtag theRealLightOfMankind#Duke is having the time of his light#he poses for Tim and makes rainbows on days it rains and poses like sailor moon#its a fun joke for Duke#its a matter of life or death for the rest of them#Dick has to stop Damian from breaking out the kryptonite not knowing that Jason has already stolen it and is heading for metropolis#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#batman#signal#duke thomas#tim drake#red robin#dick grayson#nightwing#superman
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Genre of character: submissive like a guard dog is submissive
#very capable of taking care of themselves very eager to take care of someone else#would kill a man for even slightly offending their partner#does what they're told#am i on to anything here?#these people come to mind:#crowley#bucky barnes#izzy hands#the doctor#mostly when it comes to clara oswald#ronan lynch#pearl#from steven universe#romeo#except his person is mercutio not juliet#riza hawkeye
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Good morning 🍎📻
#it’s radioapple week on twitter#idk how many I’ll be able to do#but I got a few in mind for some of the days!#hazbin hotel#radioapple#hazbin hotel fanart#my doods#liked by creator#alastor#lucifer hazbin#Lucifer Morningstar#lucifer gets sick of seeing alastor's gross breakfast#he makes him a meal#smiley face eggs and bacon#alastor *offended* prepares a gourmet breakfast out of spite#this has an unforeseen effect of awakening alastor's love for cooking#they begin to cook in the kitchen together#radioapple week
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#gravity falls#gf#fiddleford mcgucket#ford pines#fiddauthor#<- in a way#2am art post YAY. it’s like when real parents of human children get offended by those ‘dog mom’ stickers do you see the vision#my art
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what sort of music does simon listen to- and what are the others’ opinions on it when they inevitably discover it?
They probably wouldn’t share a playlist
Plus Roach:
#I bet soap likes local rap like any late 90s boy#hearing ghosts music taste would be like#‘what’s this Simon ? a soundtrack to your annual knitting club meeting? top 10 beats to sleep to?#and ghost gets offended like ‘at least it’s actual music not just some Scottish lad speaking really fast’#nd nobody wants to drive with roach and his hype white girl music#call of duty#ghost babygirl#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#gary roach sanderson#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghostsoaproach#cod ghost#cod soap#cod roach#call of duty modern warfare#cod mw2
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Idk I just feel like this would happen
#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#fuck you jimmy#daisuke is offended#no color#too lazy to color#we all hate jimmy#uhhhhh
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one of those tiktok gotham university reporters approaching bernard on the way to one of his bio classes: thoughts on red robin?
bernard, mildly sleep deprived, and knowing full well what tim’s night life is like: smash [proceeds to walk away like nothing happened]
#tim: i don’t know wether to be offended my boyfriend said he’d smash red robin or not#jason: you do realize YOU are red robin - right?#tim: technicalities- he’s my number one opp now#dc#tim drake#bernard dowd#jason todd#robin#red robin#red hood#timbern
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it's all coming together
#gengar#pokemon#pkmn#pokémon#asexual#nonbinary#pride month#this was an inside joke when I made it because I'm ace NB and post gengar really sorry if I offended any bisexuals :(
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Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?
Damian and Tim: tf??
Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?
Bruce: no not him the other one
Dick, *scurries past the door*
Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire
Dick: You deserve it!!
#Jason is offended that he wasn’t included#Damian is scared#Tim is loving it#dick grayson is a gremlin#batboys#batfam#batfam headcanons#batfamily#dc comics#dc universe#dcu#batbros#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake wayne#tim drake#damian wayne al ghul#damian wayne#bruce wayne#incorrect batfamily quotes#batman#nightwing#red hood#red robin#robin
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I don’t go here f1 tumblr did I get this race right
#f1#my dad and brother watch it#they know I’m only interested when there’s a crash#So I’m very offended nobody called me downstairs for THIS#I root for whoever is funniest and right now it’s ocon
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glad to see that a lot of people were disappointed by the fact that Niko’s colourful lights were not her lesbian vibes but just some parasites
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"aphobia doesn't exist"
bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it
#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area#so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying#even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations#now things are more calmed but damn#mind your own bussiness#i believe she knows more about herself than you#sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind#insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about”#or because they “just have to wait for the right person”#or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something”#i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself#and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one#aromantic#arospec#asexual#aroace#acespec
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#asexual#asexuality#ace#asexual humor#ace humor#asexual memes#ace memes#i'm trying to offend anyone!!!#it's just a joke!
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One very slow news day when they're all bored as hell at work Lois is like. Okay. Fuck marry kill The Big Three. And Clark replies "oh easy fuck batman marry wonder woman kill Superman" and the entire office gets so mad at him like you KILL Superman our collective BEST FRIEND Superman????!?!?!?
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