#and if you want to translate you should get certified

[xoshepard]

me seeing news about bad things happening to execs in automotive companies: >:)

me remembering that the automotive industry is paying my bills for at least the next year and a half: oh shit i mean :(

[therealplaguedoctor]

Love at first bite

Max Verstappen x fem!reader

Summary- Y/n is a professional protection dog trainer, and an ex bodyguard. What happens when an old friend of hers calls in a favor: getting his friend some protection. The fans seem to love her, others not so much. Especially not her clients father. Her client enjoys her company maybe a little more then he thought after the first bite.

TLDR- a collection of series of events that ends with two people who didn't really know they were in love with each other until one confessed

Warnings- dogs and dog bites, mentions of aggressive fans, cursing, google translated dutch, Jos Verstappen, stupid warnings: author is a dumbass and pretends she knows shit(she doesnt), American spelling, I never spell check, also y/n is very badass and is kinds just built different, sorry I like writing badass characters/people, also this might be a bit ooc I'm sorry for that :/

A/n- AHHH okay so I kinda hate (hate as in thinking I could do better) and love this(?) I wish it was better written ngl but it is a oneshot so I wasn't able to go into more detail so I feel like the writing is a bit rushed sorry about that I promise I will get better in the future :,)

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BREAKING NEWS: Fomula one driver Mav Verstappen got injured after crazy drunk fan attacked him.

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BREAKING NEWS: Max Verstappen revealed that he is looking into more security in an interview

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"We're sure you've seen the questions around what happened immediately after qualifying. Can you add anything to that situation? Like with your current security?"

Max picked up the mic wanting to be anywhere but here "well I will be looking for personal security. As all the security that is normally seen around me is provided via the FIA." He said "But to speak on that manner any behavior like that should not be tolerated" he put down the mic as the interview turned to ask Lewis a question.

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After the interviews were over Max just wanted to relax and forget about the crazed fan. But before he could disappear into redbull hospitality he heard his name from a familiar voice.

"Max!" Lewis called stopping in front of him "Hey mate I think I know someone that I can call to help you with your security" he smiled

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"Stellen" (bite) you yelled at Goose, which sent him barreling towards the man with the bite sleeve. Goose launched himself up and bit down on the sleeve. The man, Tony, aggressive, shook his arm.

You felt you phone in your pocket buzz with your familiar ring tone. You pulled it out and looked at the caller ID: Sir Lewis Hamilton. You answered the call before yelling "Loslaten" (out) to Goose who immediately let go of his arm.

"Hey Lewis what's up?" You asked as you waved off Tony telling him he's good to leave.

"Hey Y/n" he said dragging out your name a little

"Lewis" you said in a warning tone "what did you do?"

"Okay one rude, I didn't do anything." He huffed "but I do need a favor?" He asked

"What's up?" You asked again "it's not like you to ask for favors"

"Well: my friend, another driver, he had a fan attack him and he needs protection cause he doesn't really have a security team"

"Lewis I can't get him a trained dog in a day" you sighed

"I know" he said "but you're still a certified body guard aren't you?" He asked hopefully

"Lewis." You said

"I know it's a big ask" he said "but I was talking with him earlier and he's willing to pay big bucks for you to be protection for him AND train him a dog." He said

You sighed knowing that he'll continue until you say yes "fine" you said "when can I set up a meeting with him?"

"Uhh I can say next week tuesday? We can do whatever time" He said "cause after this race we have a small break then it's actually race week in Miami"

"Okay Lewis, I'll find a dog for him before then, and start training" you said "if you say he's serious about this then I'll belive you"

"Thank you so much" Lewis said "I'll let him know"

"Yeah yeah, bye Lewis"

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You sat in your small office. You didn't use it much only for meeting with clients about protection dogs or getting their dogs trained, you wanted to have a atleast semi professional space due to your clientele.

A knock at the door cause you it sit up and stop spinning in your chair.

"Come in" you called.

The door slowly opened revealing a happy Lewis. Goose didn't move from his bed next to you instead looking up at the man.

"Hey Lewis" you smiled

"What's up?" He asked rhetorically as he sat in one of the chairs across from you.

Another man walked in behind him, he looked around the room as if taking it in, this must be Max the guy Lewis was telling you about.

"Hello its nice to meet you" you smiled as you stood up and extended you hand "my name is Y/n L/n"

He shook your hand "Max Verstappen" he said before sitting down

You did the same sitting in your chair "so I have been made aware that you're looking for a personal protection dog" you said "along with the fact in the mean time you're looking to hire my bodyguard services" you said as you pull up the contract you had drafted earlier on the computer.

"Uh yes that's right" the Dutch man said

"Okay" you said as you quickly checked over the document spinning your screen around so he can read it-

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After discussing the contract along with pay you both sign it. Solidifying the deal.

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"Okay so now that we have that settled" you said as you stood up "we should have you meet your new dog" you smiled "Hier" (come) Goose got up and followed you out if the room the two men behind him.

You took out the keys and unlocked the kennel for a German shepherd pup "he's still a bit young, just under a year actually" you said "but he has the basics down so it's now just bite training" you explained

Both men nodded as they watched the pup and your dog Goose interact.

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Media day, the day Max wished didn't exist. He finally got out of his car as you approached him with Goose to your immediate left.

"Good morning" you smiled "large crowd at the gates, mostly photographers only a few fans, I recommend staying on the right side as you walk into the paddock" I explained "it's mostly photographers on that side and no interviewers"

Max nodded as you talked he followed your instructions. You put on your sunglasses to block the flash of the cameras.

Max made it past the hectic paddock entrance with you right behind him Goose walking by your side.

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As Max walked through the paddock he wasn't approached by any interviewers. He could get used to that.

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Max sat down ready to record some content for the redbulls media team. You positioned yourself out of the way but with a good view of everything as well as all the entrances.

Daniel soon arrived and noticed you almost immediately sitting down he leaned over to Max and asked "who's that? With the dog?"

"Oh that's, Y/n" Max explained "She's my new bodyguard"

"She looks badass" Yuki comments scaring the shit out of both Daniel and Max "where the fuck did you come from?!" Max shouts

You quickly looked over and watched the interaction, Yuki had been up there the entire time.

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As the recording came to an end you stood from where you were leaning. Watching Checo leave, followed quickly by Daniel and Yuki who look like they needed to be somewhere. Max started towards the exit you quickly followed him.

Begrudgingly Max sat down in front of a mic that had a big 'sky sport' on it. You stood just off to the side of the camera, completely out of frame and able to watch to one side of Max as you had Goose watching behind yourself.

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As Max answered the repeat questions he finally heard the one he's been dreading:

"So Max this morning you walked in with a lady who had a dog. Care to comment about that relationship?" The interviewer asked.

"She's my bodyguard" he stated

"She's your bodyguard..?" The guy asked like he didn't just hear him

"Yes."

"If you don't mind me asking why her?"

"She was recommended by a friend." Max said nonchalantly

"Sorry let me clarify my question" the guy said. Oh no, you knew where this was going. "Why not a male body guard they're stronger no?" He asked

"Are you insinuating that just because she's a women she wouldn't be a good bodyguard?" Max asked

"Well no-"

"No it's exactly what you're doing" he said "you media people always ask the stupid questions" he hissed "that is so fu-"

He was cut off by you "Max de camera staat nog aan" Max the camera is still on.

Instead of continuing he just gets up and leaves, cutting the interview short. You follow quickly, commanding Goose to walk next to Max as you figured Max didn't want to be approached by anyone. Scary dog privileges are the best.

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He opens the door to his driver room.

"Hier, blijf" (come, stay) you quickly rattled off to Goose who quickly went to your side and stopped next to you

Max also stopped in his tracks.

"Sorry" you quickly apologized "he's trained in dutch"

Max shook his head "no need to apologize" he said and then motioned you inside "but I don't want him out in this heat please come inside" he said

You weren't gonna argue with your boss "Volg" (heel) you commanded Goose as you walked into his driver room. Max walked in right behind you.

You stood off to the side as Max sat on the couch. He quickly motioned for you to sit down. You did just that.

Goose sat at your feet between you and Max. Max was obviously still pissed at what the guy said, you could see it on his face.

"You know" Max started "I've never been a dog person" he said "I like cats more"

"Huh," you said "I've always been a dog person" you said "started with the herding dog on my family's farm"

Max nodded as you talked before asking "can I pet him?" motioning to Goose

"Oh yeah of course" you smiled "as long as we aren't in a camera shot give him all the love you want" you chuckled "gotta keep his image up of a cold blooded killer, until the media finds my insta" you chuckled.

Max smiled as he ruffled Gooses head earning a lick from the dog.

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BREAKING NEWS: Max's new bodyguard, Y/n L/n has a trained protection dog named 'Goose'. Click here to read more!

One image attached!

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You and Max finally left his driver room as he had another media appearance with another interviewer.

Max walked in front of you Goose to his left. You grabbed the door opened it for him. You followed him inside "volg" (heel left), you told Goose who then fell in step beside you to your left.

You followed Max till he sat on the couch opposite of the interviewer. Instead you stood against the wall out of view of the camera.

"Okay" the interviewer said giving the signal to start rolling "so before we start with the questions: would you want to have your bodyguard sit down?" She asked, she sounded genuine

Max then turned to you "wil je gaan zitten? ze kunnen je vragen stellen..." (do you want to sit down? they might ask you questions...)

You responded "Ik vind het niet erg om vragen te beantwoorden. Wil je dat ik ga zitten?" (I don't mind answering questions, do you want me to sit?)

"Ik vind het prima als jij dat ook bent" (I am okay with it if you are) Max said

You gave a quick nod before walking over and sitting on the couch, next to Max. Turning to Goose you said "Bewaken" (guard), causing him to lay down in front of Max.

Turning to the camera the interviewer started "Hello everyone it's Stella here!" She smiled "and I am joined today by Max Verstappen and his bodyguard..."

"Y/n" you said "and Goose" motioning to your dog.

She smiled "and today we are asking the new, the old, and the frequently asked questions." She turned to Max "okay to start off, Max we'll start with frequently asked questions: do you think you'll win the 2024 world championship?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"Of course I will" Max said "if I don't have that mindset then I have no chance"

"Moving onto the old news: China after quali" she said "most fans just do wanna know what happened and are you okay"

"Well obviously I'm okay," he said "but the fan was drunk and belligerent after I was able to take the win," he said "knowing that he was outside of the paddock I shouldn't have left but I'm lucky at the security near the entrance was able to quickly get him away" he said "he surprised me honestly" he shrugged

"Okay now onto the new: your bodyguard Y/n" she said "everyone wants to know more about her" so that's why she wanted to have you on the couch.

Max quickly turned to you "Vind je het goed om te antwoorden?" (You good to answer)

You nodded grabbing the mic he held out: "it's a bit of a story but: I was actually the dog trainer for Roscoe, Lewis Hamiltons dog," you said "I'm a well known dog trainer in Miami I have trained several dogs for a lot of celebrities. Some for protection others just to have a trained dog" you said "but anyways Lewis called me I think the day of the incident" you thought "and we talked for a second and he asked if I still had my bodyguard certification" you said "which is really just a formality but for my job before I started training dogs I was security for a large club in Miami and we needed it" you explained "so after a meeting with Max we signed a contract that is basically me being his bodyguard with Goose until I have trained a dog for him" you finished, handing the mic back to Max.

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The drive to his hotel was relatively quiet besides the soft hum of the radio.

"When we arrive at the hotel do not get out" you said "keep the door locked till I have my hand on the handle" you explained "people are crazy here especially where your hotel is located"

Max nodded as you pulled the car up

You quickly got out shutting the door opening the door for Goose then opening the door for Max. People were everywhere, people shouting, some where drunk others just crazy. You quickly led Max to the entrance of the hotel and bid him a goodbye.

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Friday and Saturday were uneventful. But Sunday was race day, the day the MOST amount of people all week.

Walking next to Max, "rechts" (heel right), Goose moved to the right side of Max you walked on his left side. You were able to easily enter the paddock.

Finally its race time you placed the dog ear muffs over Goose to protect his ears. The had just finished the formation lap. The lights turn red one by one, then all go out hearing the infamous "lights out and away we go"

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Lando Norris had won the Miami grand prix. His first win. Max was really happy for him. Wanting to go out to celebrate but not wanting to get attacked he turned to you:

"Y/n do you mind coming out tonight?" He asked "I don't want to miss Landos first win celebration, but I you know need protection" he joked

"Sure I'll baby sit you" you joked back. Little did you know that was basically what you ended up doing.

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As it was Landos first win they were going hard. You stood off to the side watching them all carefully making sure nothing happened to Max specifically. They decided to leave this bar going to the next. You follow them out walking just behind the group.

"Verstappen!" A drunken voice called, "why the fuck did you let that fuck boy win" the man slurred

Stepping between the two quickly "step back" you said firmly to the drunken man.

"What are you gonna do about it?" The man slurred

"Blaffen" (speak) you called, causing Goose to start barking aggressively grabbing his collar as he started going manic as he barked.

The man quickly backed away before almost bolting down the street you shook your head "foei" (no), Goose immediately stopped "Bewaken" (guard) he stood next to Max ready to start walking again

"We're good" you said to him and the group

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Luckily nothing else happens that night. But not as lucky Max was beyond wasted. You were able to get him into the car and buckled him up shutting the door. You open the back door for Goose having him jump in. You got in and started driving realizing that you only knew where his hotel is and not his room you decide to drive to your house.

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Getting him into your house was an adventure. He was basically a dead weight, after an insane amount of effort you got him onto the couch in your living room and threw a blanket on top of him. Placing some advil and water on the coffee table next to him.

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As the job progressed and Max's new dog got trained many races were uneventful. The media attention on both of you had died down to what it was before Max got attacked. You are featured in some clips and interviews just answering the odd question or pulling Max away to get him out of range of anything dangerous. That is your job anyways.

The only big changes was social media: you stopped posting after getting a substantial amount of followers. People still comment on your old posts asking when your next post is. And the edits.. People are making edits of you and Goose being badass and it honestly makes you happy seeing all those cool edits. You'd take it to your grave but you love watching them in you bed late at night when you can't sleep.

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It was the Austrian grad prix. Lando and Max had gotten into it on the track causing Lando to get a dnf, and Max to drop to 5th place. He stormed off disappearing before you could catch up to him.

You eventually find him sitting in one of the chairs looking at the ground, with his helmet still on. As a man you don't recognize yells at him.

"Hey!" You shout storming over "back away from him"

The man with anger in his eyes glanced at you but went back to yelling at Max. Ypu quickly said "Blaffen" (speak) to Goose, he started barking at the man

"Get back" you commanded again

Finally he looked at you "Do you know who I am?" He asked all proud

"I don't fucking care who you are" you snapped "step away from my client" you said firmly

He turned back to Max and began yelling in Dutch to fast and angry for you to make it out. You were about to intervene again until the man raised his hand as if to strike Max

"Stellen, stellen" (bite, bite) you quickly commanded Goose letting go of his collar. The dog jumped up and bit the raised arm the force sending the man to the ground.

As this is happening Max watched it, he looked up just as you called for Goose to bite his father.

You followed your dog holding the man to the ground before commanding "Loslaten" (let go) Goose dropped the now bleeding arm. "Bewaken" (Guard), Goose stood in front of Max now defensively.

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Security arrived with medical and as they treated the dog bite you explained to them what happened pointing the the cameras around as well as a fan that recorded the entire interaction on his phone.

After a bit of talking and reviewing security bid you a goodbye and left. Citing that you were doing you job.

You then sat down next to Max who still hadn't taken off his helmet. "Who was that anyways?" You asked him as you quickly cleaned the blood off of Goose.

"My dad" he said muffled from the helmet

"Oh" you responded

"Yeah" Max said

The air filled with awkward silence before you said "let's get you back to the drivers room to cool down you still have interviews" Max just nodded making his way to his drivers room. You follow him inside Goose quickly settled by the door as you went to Max who sat on the couch with his helmet still on.

Reaching over you unclipped it and took it off, placing it on the table. Max took off his balaclava throwing it next to the mask.

"Sorry" you said "about your dad"

"I- no- uh" he groaned frustrated "You're fine you were just doing your job" he said a little snippy. He didn't want it to come out like that but it did.

You just nodded as he talked listening before saying "okay we gotta have you head to the media pen before someone yells at us and you get a fine" you said standing up

Max just nodded and followed you out if the drivers room.

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Media was done and all Max wanted to do was go back to the hotel. You don't blame him you'd want that too.

After the media pen Max was almost a shell of himself. So just to make sure he's okay you walked inside the hotel and got him to his room, you also needed to talk about earlier. When he opened the door to his hotel room and motioned you inside you were quick to oblige.

The room was nice it was similar to one of those one bedroom apartments just minus a kitchen.

Max settled down on the small couch letting out a sigh.

You just stood a bit awkwardly as Goose sat down next to Max's feet earning a few pets from the Dutch man.

"We gotta talk about today" you said breaking the silence

Max groaned "Do we have to...?" He asked

"I mean yeah" you said "Goose bit your father" you said "I'm sorry I didn't-" before you could continue he interrupted you

"You were doing your job" he said "you had no clue what he could have done or actually what he was going to do" Mac explained "you did what you thought was best to protect me. Which is your job" he leaned back on the couch and then muttered to Goose "thank you"

You ran through the situation in your head again. Jos, which you learned was the man's name, was actually going to hit Max.

"He was actually going to hit you wasn't he?" You asked him

Max stayed silent that's all the answer you needed

"Well now I wish I didn't tell Goose to let go"

Max cracked a smile, "thank you" he said this time looking up at you.

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Both you and Max were in his driver room. It was media day for the British Grand Prix, but Max had been waiting to hear back about his next interview as the time.kept changing. You thought that they just wanted to keep him here as long as possible.

Max was watching the small TV as he sat next to you on the couch. You were on your phone just scrolling through some random social media apps. Goose was laying down by the door.

While both of yall were waiting Max fell asleep next to you. Because of the way he was sitting when he fell asleep he was leaning against your shoulder. Eventually you fell asleep too.

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Later you slowly wake up but are held in place by some strong arms. You blink awake adjusting to the light. You laid on your side on the couch and where held in place by a sleeping Max. You tried to move to get up but were just pulled right back down. Giving up rather quickly you went back to sleep.

Max gently shook you awake. "Hey Y/n" he said softly, "we should head back to the hotel" he was blushing but it was kinda hard to tell in the lighting

You just nodded as I slowly got up and stretched quickly gathered you items.

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BREAKING NEWS: Max and Y/n seen leaving the drivers room late at night. What does this say about their relationship: Professional? Friendly? Or is there more?

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"Mate you're all over the news" Lewis said to you on the phone as you got ready

"What do you mean?" You asked as you got ready

"You and Max were spotted leaving his drivers room late last night, together." Lewis explained

"Fuck."

"Yeah" he said "I'm at the track already and people are asking me about it"

"What have you been saying?" You asked leaving the hotel room Goose at your side

"I've been saying: I don't know the relationship, and that uh you're his bodyguard so whatever he was doing in the room you have to be there cause when he leaves you have to make sure nothing happens and shit"

You sighed "thank you Lewis" you said as you opened the car door for Goose and shut it before getting in yourself, and starting the car.

"It's no problem" the brit said "but are you two...you know..?"

"God Lewis!" You said "no we're no fuck buddies"

He just laughed "come on you knew I had to ask"

"I'm hanging up now" you said ending the call.

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After collecting Max from his hotel and you started driving.

"You seen the news?" You asked

"I have yes" an uncomfortable silence filled the car before you spoke

"Lewis said that he's been telling media that cause I'm your bodyguard I have to be with you basically 24/7 so we can just stick with that" you said "I mean it is the truth"

"Yeah" he nodded quickly, he didn't know that you knew he was cozying up to you on that small uncomfortable couch.

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Media was lovely that day and respected both of you- said no one ever.

Several times you had to yell at people to back up or even push a few people away. And media was eating it up:

BREAKING NEW: Y/n L/n 'defends' Max Verstappen from media is it more than just bodyguarding?

BREAKING NEWS: Y/n L/n pushes away journalists, bodyguard or overprotective girlfriend?

BREAKING NEWS: Y/n L/n thought to be more than just a bodyguard, is Max taking the 'body' out of bodyguard?

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The last title made you gag how does that get approved? It doesn't actually bother you to much but it's gross.

You sat on that uncomfortable couch reading the news, almost every single station had something about you two leaving the drivers room late, or about you pushing away journalists.

You let out an annoyed huff tossing your phone on the small coffee table. Max leaned over a bit to look at it.

"Why are you looking at that shit?" He asked

You just shrugged

The last articles name caught his eye he double checked "what the actual fuck" he hissed "this is bullshit, why the fuck would the title an article this" he was pissed. You don't know entirely why they weren't saying anything about him.

"I don't know" you just shrugged

"You aren't mad at this?" He asked before continuing "It doesnt matter, I'm going to go punch the fucker who wrote the article" not wanting him in any legal trouble, mostly cause you knew he would punch the guy, you stood up and quickly blocked the door.

"Nope" you said simply "the article title is just that: an article title. I know it's not true you know it's not true so why does it matter" you asked

"It's disgusting" he said "they shouldn't talk about you-"

You cut him off "exactly! Me they are only talking about me in a bad light so why do you car so much?" You asked a little ticked that he was still trying to get passed you

"Because I care about you okay!" He confessed "I know it's dumb, you're my bodyguard and I-" he was cut off by a kiss.

You didn't know how but you ended up kissing him. He quickly reciprocated grabbing your chin pulling you closer.

As you both broke the kiss catching your breath you rested your foreheads against eachother looking into his eyes you smiled.

"When did you fall for me?" He asked

"When we cuddled on that uncomfortable couch" you smiled he blushed

"I didn't know you were awake for that" he said softly

You chuckled softly "when did you fall for me?" You asked

"It was love at first bite" He said "when you were protecting me from my father."

Then they fu-

Fin.

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[lazycats-stuff]

Hello, hope you're having a good day/night

I was wondering if I could request Bruce x Bat Dad (and some bat fam)

What if reader knew about the darker things in the world like demons and horrors unimaginable from the time he was small and that's why he doesn't talk about things like growing up or his family.

What if reader gets captured by a cult that torture him in order to force reader to translate strange eldritch books and artifacts.

You can choose how long it takes for Bruce to find reader

(What if Bruce and the batfam find out that reader has been hunting and investigating the supernatural like a small base of operations that looks more like a library with hidden weapons)

Hi, I hope you have a good day or night too. Of course you can request. Hehe. Lets go. Also, I'm sorry for taking so long... I hope you like it! And yes, the ending may be rushed, but it's not that bad.

Summary: (Y/N) gets taken for his knowledge.

Warnings: cult, fight, implications of torture... Nothing is really direct per say.

(Y/N) sighed as he closed his old leather book. He wished he didn't have this knowledge, this... (Y/N) swallowed as he put his book back and left the room, closing the fake bookcase. He rubbed his face as he was tired from this life. He wished he didn't have this knowledge. He knows the things that would turn the world upside down.

He met with hell's worst demons and he saw some of the other unspeakable horrors. (Y/N) never had a good life. He grew up in a satanic cult, the one who was genuinely believing that Satan is coming and that they are going to be his loyal servants.

He was apparently marked by Satan when he was born, but then again, when you are in a cult, you believe what they tell you. (Y/N) escaped when he was 16 years old, running like the devil himself was chasing him. (Y/N) came to Gotham with only clothes on his back.

Soon he met a nice guy who helped him. (Y/N) is smart and intelligent and he managed to start high school. He graduated after 3 years and went on to study history and religion at college. He was always interested in those things and soon enough, he found himself working in a museum.

It was a nice change of pace for once. Learning about old things and older religions and he liked it when he could teach someone something new. Of course, he was vigilant of new people and people in general. He was careful when meeting someone new, hoping that the cult didn't go after him. He could only hope so.

Dating after being in a cult it's difficult. Always suspicious of any one coming into his life romantically. Men or women, being suspicious from the get go was a certified way to see if someone was from the cult. It was also one of the fastest ways to get your relationship destroyed.

Then Bruce Wayne came into his life.

It was a coincidence. Bruce saw an interesting exhibition and decided to treat Damian to a little treat. (Y/N) was making his way through the museum, just enjoying his day and making sure every visitor was taken care of. He saw Bruce and Damian, looking in confusion.

(Y/N) walked over and asked if everything was okay and the rest was history. He lead the two through the museum, enjoying the fact that Damian knew a lot about history and it was actually fun to debate a child who knew something over a fact.

Bruce was quiet, enjoying the tour and well... Love at first sight for Bruce. He was chatting with (Y/N) and saw how guarded he was. Sure, everyone is guarded around strangers, but this is a whole another level of being guarded.

Bruce was rather intrigued, but he didn't want to push any boundaries. So he left (Y/N) his number, saying no pressure to say yes, but do call.

To say (Y/N) was a nervous wreck is an understatement. What the hell was Bruce Wayne doing with him? Was he just looking for a one night stand? Or was just flirting to keep with the playboy persona? He came home and stared at the card for 10 minutes, thinking about it.

Should he?

Should he not?

You know what? He's not made from glass. He will go for it and whatever happens, happens. He texted Bruce, he wasn't really brave enough to call. He really wasn't.

He jumped when he saw that Bruce responded.

To cut a very long story short, Bruce and (Y/N) are together to this day. The date went very well and (Y/N) was happy for the first time. He has never been happier. Together with a man who loves him and the kids who love him.

(Y/N) may love the kids more than Bruce, but Bruce won't complain. Anyone who accepted his kids, he was more than happy and if that person loved the kids more than Bruce...

Of course, in platonic way.

But there was something that bothered the family, well, not bothered, but it was interesting to them. It was (Y/N)'s past. It was something he hid and refused to talk about. He would get closed off and cold and soon enough they learnt to not ask about it.

Of course, in a family full of detectives, they wanted to investigate, but they knew that they shouldn't have because it was an invasion of privacy. So, they have decided to leave (Y/N)'s past alone.

Also, one thing that they loved about (Y/N) was the fact that he was teaching them history, something they all loved. Jason was a fan of Egypt and Sumerians. Dick loved European history, more so medieval times. Tim loved the Enigma and the making of a first computer?

And Damian? World War Two and Arabic history.

Alfred loved (Y/N) too and he would love nothing more for Bruce to marry that man. God knows that this household needs another emotionally stable person. Somewhat...

Alfred was not the one to complain.

He saw how (Y/N) and Bruce complimented one another and Bruce gave (Y/N) a push to write his book about history of religion. (Y/N) has always wanted to write that and Bruce gave him a push he needed. But not financially.

(Y/N) said he would do it all on his own. Bruce had no problem with that statement. He agreed to not pull connections with anyone or any publishing house. But he wasn't against getting (Y/N) his materials. He had no problem delivering the materials right to his door or at his work.

(Y/N) knew that Bruce was Batman so he knew that Bruce was in front of his apartment or in his office. (Y/N) enjoyed and was happy to see them.

(Y/N) entered his apartment and went to the kitchen. He was completely oblivious to the fact that there was a dark figure in his living room. (Y/N) took a sip of the water before he heard a creak on the floor board. He acted like it was nothing before throwing the glass in the direction on the sound. He hit the figure and (Y/N) grabbed a knife.

(Y/N) watched as the figure doubled down in pain, before recovering. The figure has stepped into the light and (Y/N) recognized the face.

" You motherfucker... " (Y/N) said as he gripped the handle of the knife tighter.

" That's no way to talk to your leader. " The deep male voice said and (Y/N) sized him up.

Maybe he can make it out. But the leader is strong and full of muscles. He has to evade him. Somehow.

That plan went down to shit when he saw two more figures. Sure, the leader needs to have protection. (Y/N) glanced between the trio. Someone is going to attack first.

Which one is the question.

(Y/N) ducked a punch and tried to stab the incoming one, but he was hurled over the couch, taking it with him. (Y/N) grunted as he hit the floor and he stood up after a few moments. He didn't have his knife with him.

Shit.

He nearly died when there was a fourth figure picking him up, before throwing him into his glass coffee table. (Y/N) grunted as he hit his head. He hissed as he tried to get up, but a kick to his face sent him flying back and he was dazed.

" I'm not coming with you. " (Y/N) said as he wiped the blood from his face.

" Oh you are. We know you can translate the demon transcriptions. And we need those translations. " The leader said and (Y/N) glared at them.

He won't go out without a fight.

" You are outnumbered. There is no way out. " The leader said and (Y/N) glanced at the other two. They were blocking the exit. They only way is to fight out or at least try.

But there was no weapon in sight. So he was screwed. Kicking and punching his way out can only take him so far.

But he had to try.

So he did just that. He tried to fight, but he was punched in the jaw quickly that he was nearly knocked. He fell down, hitting his head hard once more.

His vision was swimming and he couldn't see who was where anymore. His only hope now was Bruce. He knew Bruce would drop by later in the night and that he would find him. Bruce would never stop looking for him.

The kiddos too...

His jaw got punched once more and he blacked out. Now the cult had him where they wanted him. They could do what they pleased.

And if that meant torture... Well, then so be it.

Two fucking months. Bruce was losing his mind as he was looking for his boyfriend. He was horrified when he learnt of (Y/N)'s past, who wouldn't be terrified? Learning and growing up in a cult?

Bruce remembers the first time he entered the apartment and he will always wonder about a lot of things. More so that (Y/N) is somewhat normal.

Bruce was shocked that (Y/N) turned out normal. The trauma he must have went through... He was even more shocked when they found out the secret library in his apartment... Bruce had to call John Constantine to see what the hell was happening here.

John knew exactly what this was. (Y/N) was a hunter who hunted demons and banished them back to hell. Bruce was officially in the dark now. His beloved, his significant other was a hunter? Who went after demons?

Bruce didn't know how the hell he was going to explain this to his kids. How can you explain something like this? Bruce analyzed every part of the apartment, trying to figure out what happened.

He saw that (Y/N) had a knife, but was threw around the room. Then he was put through his glass coffee table. Bruce sighed quietly as John looked through the books.

" This is an amazing collection. " John commented as he looked through the books and the weapons.

" Is that really important right now? " Bruce snapped at the man and John just shrugged his shoulders.

" I guess not, but I know people who would kill for this collection. Bruce, he has knowledge of the single handedly one of the most ancient languages in the world. I can only count people on one hand that know this language. " John explained.

Bruce sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

" I think I know why they kidnapped your partner. " John said as he picked up a book. Bruce raised his brow in question.

" The cult that took him wanted some translations it seems. " John said as he opened and old, leather bound book, more interested in the book at the moment.

" That's not good. I'm assuming he will resist... They are going to torture him. " Bruce said solemnly, eyes darting around the apartment.

" We will put the bookshelf the way it was. Maybe they were after the books and weapons. " Bruce said and John sighed as he put the book where he found it and then did what Bruce asked from him.

From that day, two months passed. Bruce and everyone else worked tirelessly to find their favorite person. Bruce his boyfriend, soon to be a fiancé, the boys their second dad, one that is more emotionally open and Alfred needed one person who is going to be somewhat normal.

Bruce nearly jumped out of his skin when he got a location. They boys and him piled into the batmobile and drove as fast as the car allowed it.

To say that they had to fight their way in was an understatement. Alfred was anxiously waiting in the cave.

Bruce nearly died when he saw (Y/N). Bloodied, bruised... Bruce didn't want to know the specifics. He picked his beloved up and moved to the car and he made sure to call the SWAT team from GCPD, alongside a few more organizations.

The cult deserves it, okay? Was he over reacting? Maybe.

But that didn't matter now. What mattered is the fact that (Y/N) is taken care of and is alive and well.

To say he drove like a madman... Would be the biggest understatement of the century. Once they came, they rushed their favorite person to Alfred.

Time was of the essence.

Bruce waited for his boys to finish talking to their second dad. (Y/N) had awoken and although still weak, he still talked to his sons. After 20 minutes, Bruce ushered them out, making them all protest a bit, but in the end they knew that they need to go.

Jason hugged his dad, very carefully and left. Dick kissed his dad's cheek and Tim squeezed his hand. Damian hugged his second dad before leaving and the two partners are soon left alone.

" I'm sorry for not telling you the truth... But it was too difficult. " (Y/N) said and Bruce kissed his cheek softly.

" Don't apologize. I understand that. "

" I'm assuming you found my base? " (Y/N) asked and Bruce nodded.

" John said you have a collection people would kill for... This is such shit timing, but would you like to move in? " Bruce said and (Y/N) snorted, but stopped because of his ribs.

" Yes, I would love nothing more. "

Bruce kissed (Y/N)'s cheek again. " Good. I'll leave you to rest. "

" Can you stay with me? "

Bruce smiled and nodded, changing into his PJs before gently laying down next to (Y/N), wrapping him into blankets and the two quickly feel asleep.

The two were finally reunited.

[roach-works]

the five animals

First contact was going surprisingly well and no one could figure out why, until we found out about the five animals. 

“There’s what?” Dr Grace Jones asked, politely, standing on the White House Lawn. 

“All five animals,” the alien zoologist repeated, cheerfully. It ate another fancy little sandwich. The President was taking pictures with the Captain, and the zoologist had snuck off to raid the buffet and talk shop with the scientists. “It’s nice to see a planet with the whole bunch! Must keep you guys pretty busy, huh?”

“There are a few more than five animals here,” Dr Grace Jones said, slowly and carefully. 

“Really? Where are you keeping them?” the alien zoologist asked, interested. “We’ve been all over the galaxy and never found more than five.”

“I think,” Dr Grace Jones said, “you should list the animals for me. We’re having translation problems.”

“Oh, sure,” the alien zoologist--his name was something like Chem--said. “Tubes, vermin, small edible, furniture, and water.”

“Water?”

“Yeah, you know, water. Part of the water. You find them underneath the oceans and lakes. You guys definitely have that one.”

“That one.” 

Chem finally seemed to get the idea that they were not communicating. “Something weird must be going on with our translation,” he said. “Do you not have words for any of these things? A tube is something that’s long, with a hole from one end to the other.”

“We have tubes, yes. So. Hm.” Dr Grace Jones looked haplessly around the lawn, then pointed at a nearby sparrow. “We call that a bird,” she said. “There are thousands of different kinds of birds.”

“Oh! Local dialects do get pretty ornate,” Chem said, relaxing. “I think the translator’s working just fine, then. That’s a vermin. It’s eating your food, see? If you want I can set you up with our zoology module on the ship. It only takes a couple hours to get properly certified.”

“...so you’re not really a zoologist?”

“What? No. I’m really the ship’s zoologist. I have a lot of downtime between navigating and piloting because most of the time you’re just waiting for the ship to get through all the empty bits, y’know, in space, so I pick up other certs when I’m bored. I get double pay for any cycle the Captain needs an animal consult. You would not believe the amount of animals that look like rocks, out there.”

Dr Grace Jones finally, belatedly, eats her tiny sandwich, then drinks her lukewarm champagne. Then she says, very carefully, “On Earth it takes us years to get a degree in any field of biology, zoology, animal behavior. To say nothing of the kind of study veterinarians have to do.”

“Well, you locals seem to like things rustic out here, so I’m sure there’s some inefficiencies in the process,”  Chem said, and gave her a bracing pat on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll get you that module. We can sort it all out by dinner.”

“Thanks,” Dr Grace Jones said. She stared at the crumbs on her empty plate, then asked, “...What animal do you consider humans?”

Chem stared at her, then her crumbs, then the sparrow, evidently confused by her confusion. 

“What’s a human?” he asked.

[etherealily]

​🇸​​🇴​​🇺​​🇷​ ​🇨​​🇦​​🇳​​🇩​​🇾​ ~ ​🇫​​🇪​​🇱​​🇮​​🇽​ ​🇨​​🇦​​🇹​​🇹​​🇴​​🇳​

Felix Catton + fem! reader. SFW, but discretion advised, slightly dark, abuse.

Part 1: Hard Candy

Part 3 : Rock Candy

You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.

Desc. : He's only cryptic and machiavellian 'cause he cares. He's sorry, he's so very sorry. But will he say it?

════════════════════ ⋆🐦‍🔥⋆ ════════════════════

END OF SEMESTER

One thing about Felix is that he always got what he wanted.

It both enamored and infuriated you.

Even when the two of you weren't hooking up, both before and even - with much audacity - after, he got away with everything.

He smacked your ass whenever he saw you and everyone laughed it off, because imagine being Felix's certified girl, essentially. Who'd ever complain?

You reached your limit when he grabbed you when you were out with your friends, twirling you around in a gesture that could only be described as disgustingly, unnecessarily romantic, before kissing you.

Pushing him away, you glared and he chuckled, not even bothering enough to look at your face, but instead looking over your shoulder, at your friends, and chuckling with them.

Because of-bloody-course. Because you were obviously the one who had done something wrong right now.

"What the fuck, Felix?"

"What?", he laughed, breathily. "'S a dare, c'mon, relax."

"Yeah? Yeah? A DARE?"

"Well, dares are for kids. This was more of a bet. A challenge. Definitely more manly and dignified than a dare."

"Don't you have enough FUCKING money as it is?! Why'd you need to win this?"

"Hey, hey, relax-"

"NO! You can't keep FUCKING with me! You've been doing it since high school, and you can-"

"Okay, shh, shh.", he murmured, turning you around and placing his chin in the crook of your neck as he rubbed your almost-flailing arms that were itching to have a go at him, calming you down. "Hey, hey, listen. Listen. I got carried away. Okay? You know I tend to do that."

Oh, you knew way too fucking well what this rich cunt tended to do.

Ask the pens he never gave back in high school - not because he didn't have any of his own - but because you shouldn't have had such "ugly-looking ones" in the first place.

"Listen, listen, I'm- hey, stop struggling, okay? St- Y/N, don't piss me off, stop.", he whispered, soothingly kissing the side of your neck softly. "Everyone's watching, stop making a scene."

Says the bastard who kissed your neck in public not milliseconds ago.

"Yeah? You good?"

"Shut up, Felix."

He chuckled, slowly letting go of you. "Come to my dorm tonight."

Now, you chuckled. "Funny."

"I'm being serious."

"For what purpose?"

"Mum's sent a gift for us."

"If it's a fucking engagement ring or something, I swear-"

"If it's an engagement ring, I will kill myself, you don't have to kill me.", he assured.

"She doesn't want us together, does she?" You'd genuinely kill yourself if that were the case. Because what Elspeth Catton wants, Elspeth Catton gets.

"I hope not. So far, it seems like she's just glad you didn't lose your virginity to a 'troglodyte' or summat. Apparently it's common for girls who've just gone off to Uni to-"

"Yes, I know." You'd heard the horror stories, the warnings. 'You'll have a newfound sense of freedom. Don't abuse it. Don't fuck it away. Don't be a whore.'

And you'd ignored the warnings during your first party there.

And with the biggest fucking mistake there was.

Felix Catton.

THREE DAYS LATER

Look, it isn't often that your circles interact, but when they do, you and Felix attempt cordiality. No one, not even Felix Catton wants to be 'the bummer'.

And so, tonight - the weekend before Christmas and three days after he'd invited you over and you hadn't gone - twelve of you sat on a parapet wall (you and Felix at each end of the line, naturally).

"We should go streaking."

Unsurprisingly, it's Felix's suggestion.

"You should. We'll take a Polaroid."

"You know what we should do?", you suggested. "Skinny dipping."

A murmur of agreement and you knew you'd won it.

"Why not streaking? It's funnier."

"Skinny dipping is less likely to get us in trouble seeing as it's night and the lake's far away."

More hums of 'oh, yeah, good point' and 'we'll be naked either way'.

"It's the prude's way out."

"Just say y'can't swim, Catton.", you retorted, jumping off the wall with a soft grunt, the others following suit.

"I can, too, swim.", he replied, hopping down as well.

"Then just say y'can't handle wet things."

Raucuous laughter - that you didn't quite understand (it wasn't that funny) - but didn't dislike either ensued.

"I dunno, I'd say I handled you pretty well, didn't I, sweetheart?", he replied, twirling a strand of your hair, illuminated a burnt orange by the sombre streetlight perched above the two - well, twelve, but honestly, it didn't feel like it - of you.

"Alright. Fine.", you declared. "Hands up if you wanna go streaking 'cross campus."

A couple hands, not too many, good.

"Skinny dipping?"

Majority of hands. You shrugged, grinning triumphantly as you patted him on the cheek and shouldered past him.

****

You didn't know if it was the moonlight or the water or the weed or what, but Felix had never been more annoying.

Why he insisted he wouldn't skinny dip and ruined the night for everyone, you knew. He was just a cunt.

But why he insisted that you didn't, either, and made everyone beg you to stay on the bank so that he'd shut the fuck up, you didn't know.

Till the end, that is.

"What if one of them had copped a feel? I'm just lookin' out for yah. Like mates do.", he whispered as the night winded down, before ruffling your hair up.

Oh, oh, so this was a favour, according to him. Summat to be grateful for? FUCK Felix Catton.

"What the fuck?", you yelled, following him back to his dorm as he covered his ears with his little fingers comically. "No, seriously! Did I crush your ego that much?!"

"No, sweetheart, I just thin-"

"DON'T call me that!"

"I just think you shouldn't be out there wanting to get felt up by our entire friend group just because you're angry at me!", he screamed back, turning for a moment before he foraged around forcefully in his pockets for his dorm keys.

"WHY should everything in my life have to do with you?!"

"IT HAS SINCE HIGH SCHOOL AND IT WILL FOREVER!"

"THEN YOU'RE JUST BLOODY DELUDED!"

"YEAH? WELL YOU STILL FUCKING WANT ME, SO YOU CAN'T TALK LIKE YOU'VE GOT ANY SELF RESPECT!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN 'I STILL WANT YOU'? NO I FUCKING DON'T!"

"YEAH? WELL, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME TO MY DORM?!"

"TO YELL AT YOU!"

About five doors swung open. "IT'S THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

You and Felix continued glaring at each other. "Fuck you, mate."

"I'm not your mate, Y/N. Don't call me that."

"Yeah, you're not my mate. You're just a prick I had the misfortune of knowing for this long."

"And you're just a cunt I've had the misfortune of fucking for this long."

You scoffed. Average conversation with Felix.

"Get over yourself, Felix Catton, or you're going to have a real fucking hard time in the real world - that DOESN'T CATER TO YOU!"

You could feel him flipping you the bird behind you as you left. You just decided to fucking ignore it.

════════════════════ ⋆🐦‍🔥⋆ ════════════════════

That night, you woke up to a knock at the door.

Deja vu. Felix on his knees. Jesus.

"What?"

"Can we please talk?"

Talk meant fuck.

You frowned.

"I promise, I'll just talk."

He doesn't try kissing you this time.

Because this time, things were even more off.

This time, he was stone cold sober.

You rolled your eyes before rubbing them, letting him take your hand to stand up. He didn't need it, of course, but it made you feel better. More in control.

How pathetic that it was the smallest of things that you had to desperately cling on to for the smallest sliver of self respect.

"I didn't mean it. When I called you a cunt. I wasn't... I was angry."

"Yeah."

"I just don't understand why you're... why do you want to forget me so easily?"

"We're terrible together, Felix.'

"I don't want to be together, alright? I can't do relationships either. I just think that we... I mean, we know each other, which makes the sex so much better, right?"

Wrong.

It would've been funny to an outsider. This was something, again, that you were very sure of. Someone else would laugh at your inability to say something to him, laugh at the way he stood there, opposite you, playing with his rings as he took a long drag of his cigarette.

And him being Felix didn't help, either.

When you let him in, he sat there like it was his dorm.

Like it had just been you on your knees, and he'd begrudgingly, magnanimously let you in.

Essentially, this was everything you had not missed since Felix had graduated and left. It was brutal, honestly, to the rest of the school when he had graduated. Because what, oh, what would they do without Felix Catton? It also didn't help that, since you were family friends, you'd been constantly badgered about whether he'd grace the school with his presence during school events like plays and fundraising fairs.

That was genuinely laughable. Felix Catton is only charitable when he wants to be. That's not to say he's an opportunist, no, if you were being honest, the purity of his intentions were truly unmatched, but his intentions often had a way of making him look like an angel.

Kind little angelic rich boy. Connivingly kind little conveniently angelic rich boy.

You decided that the silence was a good opportunity to do something you hadn't done in a while (and something he'd probably never done ever) and reflect.

Reflect on why you and Felix had actually grown apart, not his skewed version and definitely not your biased explanation.

The answer, however, was vague.

Inseparable as kids.

Insufferable as adolescents.

Ineffable as lovers.

Incapable as people.

"He really was trying to cop a feel.", he sighed after the agonizing silence. "Logan. I saw it."

Right. And he also saw every single thought to ever go through Logan's head. Because being Felix Catton gives you both an immeasurable inheritance and impeccable judgement in friends, yeah?

"Well, thanks.", you replied, biting back the word 'mate'.

He sighed once more, shifting closer to you on the couch and now playing with your rings. "I'm just lookin' out for you, okay? I got your back. Just 'cause we stopped shagging doesn't mean all of our history is just gone, yeah?", he questioned earnestly, kissing your rings, your fingertips, your knuckles, and then finally, your wrist.

In theory, that makes total sense. You did used to be best friends. You did used to like each other, at some point.

But this was all, of course, theory, because nothing would ever make sense around Felix, not when he's so noxiously himself, his fragrance, his taste, the basking glow of his attention enveloping your senses until you could feel his aura so tangibly.

"Felix, I just feel like we made a huge mistake."

"What? Fucking? C'mon, it's Uni, and we're both adults, c'mon, this is absolutely ridiculous!", he whined, softly, with his brows raised high up in pleading. He held his cigarette in front of your lips and you inhaled. Because it's Felix. God, what a hypocrite you were.

"I have hated you for as long as I can remember-"

You did have a point. You were about to mention the fact that animosity contributes to lust - just like the first time you'd hooked up, how he'd been pissed at you- and that at some point, it will destroy and consume the two of you. But he didn't let you finish.

"Yeah, and you never let me forget. What did I even do to you?"

"You really don't remember?", you sighed. "You remember your friend Henry Falker?"

"Oh, yeah, Henry Fucker!", he giggled. "What about him?"

"Y'remember when you told him and his gang that if I wasn't a family friend, you'd 'shag the living daylights out of me'? Or, at the very least, whistle at me when I walked by?"

He nodded, slyly as he tapped your nose, as though you were being petulantly annoying. "Yeah, but that was a joke. And I didn't actually do it.", he replied defiantly.

"Yeah, well, he worshipped you."

He frowned at the silence. "He wasn't the one- he didn't cat-call you. Right? I told him it was a joke. I told him you were off-limits."

Off-limits?!

See, this was news. He'd been messing in your life without your knowledge for years, then? You'd actually got along with Henry, no matter what a Felix-sycophant he'd been, and before the cat-calling incident, you wouldn't have said no to a coffee.

"Clearly, we went to different high schools. Y'know, because you went to one where teenage boys keep promises about cat-calling."

He sighed, his forehead on your chest. "He's a prick."

"So are you."

The words felt overused and false, but they had to be said.

His intoxicating kisses began, and moved up the side of your breast up to your throat as he pushed your hands away and pulled your head closer.

"Felix." Your willpower should be applauded.

"If you call me 'mate', I will genuinely hit you."

You couldn't help the breathy laugh that erupted from you as he began gripping your jaw and kissing you as he gently rested your head back down onto the couch.

"No. Felix, stop." This was the thing about Felix. Once you've got his attention, it's difficult to keep an iron will to get it off of you. Because who in their right mind would want Felix's attention off of them?

You, evidently, since high school.

"Look, this is just friends helpin' each other out, alright?"

"Then why do you not like me calling you 'mate'?"

Silence.

"I just don't."

"Do you not remember why we stopped?", you asked, attempting to sit up.

"Summat about you 'being with someone else'."

"Do you not remember the ER?"

"Shh-shh-shh.", he murmured, shaking his head and undoing his belt. "C'mon. Seriously. You had your storm-out, now come back to normal."

Why he always conveniently brushed that under the carpet, you didn't know.

Did he think this was some temporary temper tantrum? Just you being kind of a bitch? Was he already sure you'd forgive him?

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?", you hissed, pushing him off. "Seriously! What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Relax, I'm just saying, you were pissed, and you let it out. Now you can come back to normal!"

"Normal? Normal, after you bloody got me admitted in the ER at three am? Normal?"

"That didn't bother you last week."

What bullshit. What utter fucking bullshit.

"Yeah? Well, the whole skinny dipping incident exacerbated it."

"Oh, stop with the whole woe-is-me thing, Y/N, it's getting old."

Honestly, he had a point. It was getting old to you, as well. But damn him for making you that way.

"Look, we agreed to stop. Respect that, Felix."

He rolled his eyes. "Why are you always such a CUNT? Is it 'cause you think you're better than everyone else?! OH, I was a virgin before college, I'm so fuckin' pure and angelic! OH, I've got all good scores in school, I'm so fuckin' AWESOME?! YOU'RE NOT, OKAY?"

Where the fuck did that come from?

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"IT MEANS THAT MAYBE YOU FUCKIN' DESERVED WHAT YOU GOT WHEN YOU GOT PUT INTO THE ER!"

Both of you froze. Felix had obviously meant it. You had obviously believed it.

For once, though, it wasn't you believing it just because it was Felix who said it. You believed it because even you'd been thinking that for a while.

"Get out."

"Fuck, no, can we- look, I admit, I'm an arse- I just promised I'd have your back and then I-"

"Get out."

"Please."

"FUCK YOU, FELIX, GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE I SEND YOU TO THE ER!", you yelled, pointing aggressively at the door, taking his attention away from your stinging eyes.

He, instead of obeying you like a sane individual, began to move closer, his hands in front of him as though you were a wild beast he had to tame. "Y/N-"

"STOP! GET AWAY! DON- NO! Don't touch me! NO!", you cried, attempting to wriggle out of his arms, but also attempting to stay between them to relish the comfort they provided.

"Listen to me. Lis- Y/N, stop being a child. Just listen."

The word 'sorry' never left his mouth, but he'd somehow managed to convince you that it was all that he had been saying.

════════════════════ ⋆🐦‍🔥⋆ ════════════════════

It's not like this was an unfamiliar feeling.

Felix had a way of doing this. Making someone feel warm until he got bored. Thankfully, though, you seemed to do the opposite of bore him.

You were essentially his personal jester.

"Toy with you", the cocaine addict had said.

Like sour candy, the addiction was to the unpleasantness, the sour sting, the challenge of how long you could last on Felix's bullshit without flinching.

Well, the unpleasantness and this feeling that you had right now. Not love, of course, but something dangerously bordering at the edge of it.

This feeling, this not-love-feeling was hard to characterise, hard to describe. It was nostalgia brewed with mutual hatred with a tiny bit of affection.

Yeah. Suppose that's the closest one could get.

The not-love-feeling usually blossomed when you were... well, doing what you were doing right now.

Counting the number of flowers on your shirt - the one which hang precociously on the edge of your desk chair, about five paces away from the bed, which is where Felix lay, and, right on his chest, you.

He wasn't awake.

You had been for a while.

"Either you've forgiven me, or last night was the best hate sex planet Earth has ever seen.", he muttered suddenly, singling out a thick strand of your hair and examining it meticulously.

You didn't reply, but just rolled off him. The ceiling seemed to mock you.

"You packed yet?"

"For what?"

"Saltburn. Our proper-proper reunion. Don't tell me you forgot."

Did your face look like you had been on top of your itinerary for the last couple days?

He shook his head, looking past your face to the window behind you. You could almost swear you could see the snow falling through through the reflection in his eye. "I could help you."

"No, it's okay, I'm not coming."

"Like hell you're not. You've been sent a fuckin' dress, okay? My mother sent you a dress plus jewellery - which you'd know if you showed up that day at my dorm - so you're not flakin' out of this."

"A dress for what?"

"The party."

You frowned, watching him sit up and use the same hands he'd had on you to reach over to the pockets of his jeans. "You're not seriously smoking without brushing your teeth."

"Good point. I'm using your toothbrush."

"Don't you dare."

"So let me smoke in unhygienic peace."

You grimaced, looking away and out of the window.

"Relax. Been up for a while. I got up, I brushed, washed my face, and then I just... I dunno. I came back to you. Back to bed."

He was up before you?

"You weren't sleeping?"

"Nah.", he replied, beckoning you closer with the hand that was holding the cig. You moved almost on autopilot. "You forgive me, yeah?", he asked, arm around your shoulder reaching far enough to playfully squeeze your neck. "I'll choke you non-sexily if you don't, y'know? Or I'll leave you to the likes of Logan or Daniel-the-handshaker."

You laughed out loud at that, and he rewarded you with his dimpled grin. "C'mon, mate, let's get you packed."

Honestly? Fuck Felix Catton. And then fuck Felix Catton.

[mirai-e-jump]

+act Magazine January 2024 Issue ft. Hirakawa Yuzuki Interview (translation below)

Publication: December 12, 2023

Hirakawa Yuzuki plays the immovable Rita Kaniska (PapillonOhger) in the Super Sentai series "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger." In her first appearance in this magazine, she says that while her first priority is to complete this role, there are also things she wants to accomplish next.

"When did you first become interested in acting?"

Hirakawa: It wasn't until I joined my agency that I first became interested. Until then, I was attending a business high school in Kumamoto, my hometown, and wanted to become either a tax accountant or a certified public accountant in the future. Around that time, I learned about the "LDH Presents THE GIRLS AUDITION" and I told my parents, "I should enter like it's a commemorative entrance exam.*" I won the Grand Prix in the vocal and dance category, not the acting category. However, it wasn't until I joined the agency that I tried singing, dancing and acting genuinely. So, it was abit embarrassing being told that I was the Grand Prix winner in the vocal and dance category. (*exams taken for schools you have little to no chance of getting into)

"Your first performance was in a stage play."

Hirakawa: It was in "Moryo no Hako" starring Tachibana Kenchi-san. The play was set where the curtains rise on a scene between me and another girl, and I was so nervous that it caused my stomach to hurt every day. Once I said a few words on stage, I was okay, but until then…I guess that once I got on stage, I felt like I had no choice. But, until I was offstage, my heart would be pounding like crazy.

"Did the fact that it was your first time on stage, and your first performance, have a big impact on you?"

Hirakawa: I always thought that if I broke the tempo of the play in the first scene, things would become out of sync. Even during rehearsals I was told, "The beginning is important. It determines the quality of the performance." That's kind of scary. It's a big responsibility. But, I think they trained me well on that stage.

"What did you find interesting about the stage?"

Hirakawa: I always took lessons with two or three people at most, so more than anything, I enjoyed creating a production together with many people. I also thought it was fun to be with my dependable and kind seniors all the way through the rehearsal period, and that they started to feel like friends.

"Were there any memorable words that were said to you during rehearsals for the play or on the stage itself?"

Hirakawa: They'd say "Just try things out for now." I think I tend to worry about what other people think of me. If I think that I have to do something, I focus on only that. Still, I was told, "Just give it your all for now. It'll be easy to control things from there." This is often said on the set of the Sentai series that I'm currently performing in.

"Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger, right?"

Hirakawa: Their keyword is "Immovable," and I do what I can within that context and to "just give things a try." If I really deviate from the character, the Director will get me back on track.

"Have you seen any other Sentai productions?"

Hirakawa: When I was little, I watched "Tom and Jerry." I haven't really watched the previous series. In middle and high school, I was either doing practice lessons, club activities, eating meals, or sleeping (laughs).

"What kind of programs do you currently watch?"

Hirakawa: Since I started working, because I have alot to learn, I've been watching various things. I've only been alive for 22 years, so there are many things that I don't know. I'm learning about these experiences as I watch these works. What have I been watching…I really can't remember (laughs).

"(laughs). How do you remember your lines?"

Hirakawa: One of my strong points is memorizing things, but I'm the type of person who (intentionally) forgets them immediately (laughs). When they say, "We're done filming this scene," I instantly forget about it. So, I don't really remember much. Recently however, at the recommendation of a co star in King-Ohger, I watched the entirety of "Heaven and Hell: 2 Psychos," starring Ayase Haruka-san.

"Were you interested in Ayase-san and Takahashi Issei-san's personality changing performances?"

Hirakawa: It was interesting to see how the two of them came to know each other through swapping bodies. I also experienced performing a body swap in King-Ohger. Before we filmed it, it was recommended to me with, "This show, it's got body swapping," so I learned alot from it.

"For Rita, did they have the keyword "Immovable" from the beginning?"

Hirakawa: Since my role is that of the International Chief Judge, the words "always neutral" were there from the audition stage. When I was reading the script before filming started, the Director said to me, "Rita is Immovable. That's it." It doesn't mean that they shouldn't move, but that they're unwavering. I was also told, "There may not be much movement, but it holds various meanings. Please be extremely immovable this year." That's why even now, I'm looking for things I can do within being "immovable."

"What did you do at the audition?"

Hirakawa: It was an audition for two roles, the yellow Hymeno Ran, and Rita, who I'm playing. I played both roles in the first round, but when I entered the second round, in terms of her character, I thought, "I'm definitely not Hymeno." From there, I went after Rita.

"Did you feel any similarity between Rita and yourself?"

Hirakawa: I thought I could create something close to the calm and dignified feeling of the character. I'm also pretty tall (166 cm, 5'5"), so I thought that the darker color would also suit me in terms of image. Actually, I had auditioned for the Sentai series and Kamen Rider series multiple times, but most of the roles I've gone for up until now have been for the heroine. So, I thought it wasn't really suited for it. But, with Rita I thought, "That's definitely me." I was pretty enthusiastic, thinking that if I missed out on Rita, I wouldn't get a role like this for about four or five years. And then, until I started working in this industry, I hated my voice.

"But it's an attractive voice, with a deep bassy tone."

Hirakawa: When I finished my first performance, many people said to me, "Your voice is really nice." Do the people around me see this voice as my weapon? Rita's words are very persuasive, or rather, have weight to them. I knew from the audition that I could use my voice in this role. However, since filming started in King-Ohger, I felt that my voice has become even lower. I was trying to make my voice sound deeper, but I ended up sounding lower than usual (laughs). I might be stuck with this low voice. Maybe it'll go back to normal once this role ends.

"What do you currently find interesting about performing?"

Hirakawa: Rita only keeps their left eye visible, right? However, there's a limit to what can be expressed with just the eyes. They're a character that doesn't move that much and doesn't laugh. Things like the inflection and intensity of my lines and how they're conveyed are different from how it's been in the past. Still, by experiencing this kind of role, I feel that the range of my expressions have expanded in slightly different directions. I think I'm lucky.

"What kind of roles would you like to play in the future?"

Hirakawa: In episode 38 of King-Ohger, I performed with my face showing, but I was embarrassed since it had been awhile. A year ago, I would've been able to do it normally, so first of all, I'd like to "reset" that (laughs). I don't have much of a funny role now, so I'd like to play more energetic roles. Also, I want to wear a uniform! I want to be in a school story. It doesn't matter if I'm a class president, a bully, or some kid with a depressed personality. I just want to wear a uniform (laughs). I definitely want to make that happen. But for now, my first priority is to finish King-Ohger. It's been a year, and I think the real battle afterwards will be letting go of Rita and returning to Hirakawa Yuzuki.

[bookseffect]

'Aight, buckle up because we are going to have a video game development rant about the Solas romance that I need to get off my chest before DATV comes out. And please know that this is coming from someone who has worked in the industry.

So, by now we all know that the romance was added somewhere in the last year of development, said year being an extension year ( for source check note 29 on the Solas Wiki). With that in mind, I keep seeing people complain that Solas cannot be romanced by other races, by a male Inquisitor, etc. All of that criticism is very much Valid. However. I need all of you to understand from a technical point of view how INSANE it is to add new IMPORTANT content on such short notice.

So, all games have several development phases:

Pre-production & Planning - when the sketch of the game is started and a team with sponsor and budget is assembled

Alpha - when the overall structure of the game is created, like the maps, the big story points, think we made the skeleton of the game

Early beta - which is where we really put the meat on those bones, the maps get all their assets, all their quests, interactions, etc

Late beta- when all efforts are focused on POLISHING THE GAME, making sure that it can pass submissions (because Microsoft and Sony will want the game to pass their internal checks FIRST so they know the game that the company is publishing is not utter garbage and is adapted to their platform). This is the road to Gold Master Candidate

Gold Master Candidate or GMC - is the base game, the version of the game that you will meet, hopefully as perfect as possible (unfortunately, that is not always the case, but alas)

And finally

Post production - which means patches, post release support etc.

Now here is the trick, on most games patches are tested and developed before the release. "Why"you ask? Because of deadlines and corpo greed. Meaning, that the publishers and developers will agree on certain deadlines, for example by 25th of August 2025 the game needs to be sent to the Microsoft and Sony submission. This does not account for any of the setbacks that the team may encounter, usually, a version of the game will be sent to submission and everyone will pray that it passes. If it does pass, anything else that had to be fixed will come in patches, because after the game was GMC certified, no one can modify that version anymore.

Now, back to the Solas romance, for the romance to exist you need to:

Record voicelines

Create new animations that hopefully do not look completely broken

Create new lines of code

Translate the new dialogue in all supported languages

Work on the approval system

Allocate testing hours for this specific new quirk to ensure that IT WORKS

All of this, while the team should have been focusing on a game this massive on polishing. Polishing, obviously, does not mean adding a massive, game-changing path at the last minute. At that phase, I would not be surprised if they were in late beta or maybe on their way to GMC. So while all efforts should have gone to polishing the already existing features, making the game run smooth, verifying all maps, all text etc, Weekes came in and said WELL LET'S JUST ADD....THIS!!!

Of course on such short notice they were able to only make one race and one gender workable, please bear in mind that at one point in development Iron Bull was to be romanced only by other qunaris because they could not make the animations work.

So while, yes, I agree that ideally, Solas should have had more complex romance options, the mere fact that the romance exists and works is nothing short of a huge success.

Rant over

[wolfiemcwolferson]

Helllllooooo, I was tagged by @duquesademiel and also @vicsy and I feel a bit deranged but here we go.

1. How many works do you have on ao3

I have 73 fics up on my f1 ao3 account.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

Please do not judge me for this, god, oh my god - 1,331,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I currently write for F1.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

well we can settle down (Maxiel)

I remember when I met you just before September (Carlando)

so take it from me (Carlando)

I will wait for you at the end love (Maxiel)

I feel your body call on me (Piarles)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do not respond to comments and it makes me feel really horribly guilty. To be honest, I did not do it when I first joined the fandom because I was overwhelmed and then I wanted to and it was too long and I think one of the things I want to do is start...responding to comments...I just never know what to say.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think it's this Carlando. But you just have to read it. Trust me.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't think I can answer that because I am a certified happy ending writer. I have a few fics that I desperately want to write that I won't because they're not happy endings, but if I have to pick...it's got to be the Blue Neighbourhood series. That's a complete circle ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no one has ever left me explicit hate on my fics. some of y'all get wild in my inbox which is why I don't have anon on

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Uh. I don't know how to answer that.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not a big fan of crossovers <- Vicsy is right

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and I made a Wattpad account after Briony had one of her Maxiel fics posted to there for the second time and now I religiously check because I am deranged

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge - wait, once Sol said for exam practice she was translating bits of my fic and I had a little cry about it but it's not posted anywhere.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

HAVE I EVER. I genuinely have too many to individually tag, but I have written with @river-ocean in the past and I am currently posting the Alphabet Dating Season fic with @chaesonghwas and @duquesademiel - and we all know that Sol and I are always always always writing fic together. I have something in the works with someone else and I think it's a secret, so I won't say anything about that. And then @miamierre and I are literally putting the finishing touches on the promised insane fic we cooked up together and I cannot wait for you all to see it. This is the year of collabs for me and I'm loving it tbh

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Despite the stats on my fics

Piarles

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a fic for an old fandom that is languishing away and I feel guilty about it because it was good

16. What are your writing strengths?

I write fast.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I suffer from "can't shut up" and sometimes my fics don't need to be a long fic.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am so so so nervous about it. everything that I write I double and triple check and I still get it wrong a lot of the time. I think it's fine and people should do whatever the fuck they want.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter because of course

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This answer literally changes every single day. Today it's the sugarbaby fic that I wrote for Phoebe because I am very very proud of that fic and I think if you hold it against the stuff I was writing two years ago, you really see how far I've come as a writer.

Everyone tagged in this that hasn't already done it should do it, but I'm also going to tag @gaynfl

[ongreenergrasses]

20 questions for writers

tagged by @lesbianlotties, thank you! I was just thinking about how I’m actually proud of some of my writing so this is an opportune time

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

85. Because I’m certifiably insane, 27 of those have appeared since March.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

507,722. when I hit a million I’ll have a party (read: lie down on the floor and cry for a little bit)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

obviously thg but I have two slowly progressing fics for the old guard! they’re slow. but they will happen

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

almost a thing that my heart could endure. i was genuinely on the edge of orphaning this, like i was going to sleep on it and orphan the next day, and that night i got the most stunningly beautiful comment on it. it felt like some sort of sign. anyway i have a love hate relationship with that fic but i am begrudgingly coming around to the truth that it’s maybe not that bad

and so they did. now idfk why this one got as popular as it did but people liked it apparently

this is the way i’ll love you. has one of my favorite chapters I’ve ever written in it and i believe someone also commented that it was one of their favorite chapters in fanfiction

the sun persists in rising. you know what i did today? i was in my car on the way back from a crazy experience (bc my life just lurches from crazy experience to crazy experience) and I was singing Dream Girl Evil very loudly and thinking about this fic (bc i embarrassingly do still think about it) and then I said you know what ongreenergrasses. You should be proud of that. and i am.

on loyalty. now this is definitely the second best fic on this list, and i do credit it with being the fic that made me get more comfortable with OCs. so that’s cool because then it paved the way for directly above, which is the best fic on this list.

5. Do you respond to comments?

i sure do!! you leave me enough comments, i will write you back every time and we will eventually be in each other’s DMs and we will become friends. that sounds vaguely threatening

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oof probably hallowed ground. that ends on a depressing note

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the sun persists in rising! the whole point of that fic is a happy ending

8. Do you get hate on fics?

once and it was such a funny incident…I know now that people will rally behind me if it happens

9. Do you write smut?

I’m not good at it but yes I do. and one improves through practice ig? (real talk, some of my earlier smut is so bad that i literally cannot read it. which is unfortunate because my worst smut is the one i got caught writing on a plane and then had to post bc otherwise all that shit would be meaningless and i teeter on the edge of at least archive locking to limit eyes on it every day)

10. Do you write crossovers?

i used to and since i have at this point lost all my fucks i might again. if you want to see my crossover it’s on ff.net

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

afaik no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes! @kitkatsandrainbows and I have one that’s just. sitting in google docs. which is my fault because i keep forgetting to edit it but eventually we will post it and it will be a beautiful continuation in the vein of our increasingly more intense dead dove horrible things that bring us such joy to write. it’s literally done it just needs to be edited smh

14. What is your all time favorite ship?

i am a multishipper extraordinaire but like. from Sherlock Holmes i come and to Sherlock Holmes I will return. i love whatever insane relationship those little gay men have going

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

there’s one wip for good omens that i keep genuinely forgetting about. so that is indeed an issue

16. What are your writing strengths?

honestly dude at this point i feel like it’s just me throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks and what sticks is increasingly horrifying things. i don’t think there’s some inherent strengths or even improvement there i think I’m just getting increasingly unhinged

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

everything? everything. it used to be plot but i think that’s. is it no longer an issue? maybe it’s still an issue idk

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language during a fic?

i am firmly in limited pov camp now because after strictly limiting my pov and getting such a strong reaction I was like oh yeah this slaps. so since i now write pretty rigid limited pov, I don’t write dialogue in another language in fics. I have lots of opinions about it but this is already long

19. First fandom you wrote for?

first fandom I wrote for was Doctor Who. first fandom i posted for was Sherlock

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

i really do love them all, some definitely more than others, and some were certainly more work than others, and this one isn’t really my favorite but i can say for sure that none have inspired more raw glee in me than this bitter earth did. i’m doing my part for thg cannibalism era

tagging @districtunrest @districtscare @the-sun-and-the-sea @anosrepasi @lyricfulloflight @thefloatingwriter @ghoulangerlee and anyone else who’d like to 🌸

[slinkysolinsky]

heavily google-translated TWWAY

There are a lot of good people here. Share your profile and email So many questions answered. A song of philosophical thought. You should get everything documented. It was very clear to me. Magical Things The crowd danced and sang. No one is better than us. No, no, no No, no, no No, no, no No, no, no King in the distance. farm management and Let them enjoy it too. We don’t certify all business cards. Even the animals know how good they are. Everyone was crying. Because there's one last thing I want to say No one is better than us. Hope you have a wonderful day I know the truth. I wrote a song. And I don’t And I don’t Now stop screaming and hold my hand. This is a very important step. I am nothing. I waited patiently So, you can know Who should decide how to do it? Because we all know that to be true. There is no going back. Nothing out of the ordinary Musical truth. Here’s what I said. No one is better than us. No one is better than us. It doesn’t make it better. The same thing happened to you.

[scoobydoodean]

in regards to the john abuse post- for sam there's a scene in season 8 where that crazy hunter says something to the effect of 'I KNOW john would've taken you boys out to the woodshed for this' (which is. slang for a specific thing) and sam immediately explodes on the guy and shoves him into the wall. sure he's stressed about dean in that scene but a friend of his dad's mentioning his dad hitting him was clearly what made him snap in the moment. it was clearly something sam was sensitive about. considering the age and demographics of the characters (and writers) I can't help but wonder if maybe the winchesters are the sort of people who think corporal punishment and physical abuse are somehow two different things. like, it makes more sense than not that an ex marine in the 80s and 90s with a drinking problem who's constantly scared about his kids getting killed while also putting them in dangerous situations would probably spank them. so I wonder if the reason sam and dean had such different reactions to max's abuse in season 1 was because as much as he hated what john did there werent like, broken bones or anything involved, and he could justify that its not like john was beating them for no reason, versus dean who had a lot more responsibility placed on him and clearly went out of his way to hide things from sam. it is interesting to me that as sam gets older he sort of forgives john with a 'he tried his best' mindset and seems to remember him more fondly, while dean eventually settles in a place of 'I love him but I can't forgive him for my childhood'. srry for rambling.

Context

That would be Martin in 8.09 "Citizen Fang".

Glad your dad wasn't around to hear that. He'd have a mind to take you both out the woodshed and show you what's what. Half inclined to do it myself.

I can't say I have the same interpretation of that scene or Sam's reaction. Like I said, I don't begrudge anyone building the physically abusive John interpretation, and I think this can easily fit into that list of suggestive moments. I don't necessarily understand Martin's phrasing in the same way. Maybe it's worth it to translate my view of Martin's wording here into a little plainer terms (as a certified U.S. southerner, I feel qualified to do this 🤭):

"Your father would be very disappointed in you if he heard that conversation between the three of us. It would upset him to the extent that he would wish he could punish you as if you were still children instead of grown men. It is as if you have forgotten the simplest lessons—the ones you learned about the world from your father as you grew to adulthood. If you're going to act like uneducated children, perhaps I should treat you as such and become your new father so that I can re-teach these childhood lessons."

We do hear from Dean at the end of 2.03 "Bloodlust", that John had a very dogmatic stance on monsters, and I think this phrasing from Martin makes sense in this context, whether he does or doesn't also mean to imply specific punishments he knew to be carried out when they were young. (I don't personally feel "taken out to the woodshed" has to be so literal, and my google searches seem to agree?) Martin already actually hit Dean--I don't know that he means he actually wants to go back to literally hit Dean some more, though I suppose that's possible.

To be mindful of the context here and exactly how Sam reacts... this is right after Martin knocks Dean unconscious for opposing them about hunting Benny. Sam was immediately on edge when Martin knocked Dean out. Sam went along with it in the aftermath because it got him closer to what he wanted (Benny dead) but he didn't like it. Martin's actions plainly illustrated that he's a loose canon. Sam, having brought Martin into the hunt, is now seeing shit hit the fan as a result of his choice to involve a hunter he knew to be unstable (with the added sting of Dean having called out Martin's instability earlier in the episode—a reflection on Dean being the better judge of character and his lack of trust in Sam's reasoning being warranted—a thing Sam is sensitive about). Martin is not even a little conflicted or uncertain about the completely unhinged thing he just did to Dean, and he's got a clear sense of seniority, believing HE is the leader, and not just Dean—but Sam also is a dumb little kid who should do as Martin says.

If there are two things Sam Winchester hates, they are 1) His unilateral choices having disastrous outcomes that Dean predicted would happen and 2) being treated like a little kid... and Martin goes double or nothing with this line (and mentioning John also in the mix most certainly invokes, at the very least, the origin of Sam's follower/leader false dichotomy).

Sam's response to Martin is telling—a reminder that HE is the leader, and that Martin is under HIS command and better fall in line:

You listen to me. I brought you into this. I can bring you out just as easy. So the only thing you're gonna be inclined to do is shut up and follow my lead.

Basically, I think for me personally, this one can go in the suggestive evidence pile, but I don't find it any more convincing than the other things that have been mentioned. I'm not trying to tell anyone else how to think. I think your interpretation is reasonable. I think there's two reasonable conclusions here.

[dream-meister-translations]

PERSONA 5 : THE PHANTOM X

PERSONA 5 : THE PHANTOM X BETA - PART 2

NOTE :These translations are done using the Chinese version of the game, we apologize for any inconsistencies that may come with an official English release.

━

WONDER : (The hallway is blocked by these girls...They haven't even noticed I'm trying to get through...)

TALL FEMALE : Ah, what the heck? It's uploaded again!

ALERT FEMALE : Looks like this time its for real...

SLENDER FEMALE : It seems someone has posted about it on the website. Wonder if this will be another Phantom case. 

WONDER : (And...I'm completely unnoticed...)

ALERT FEMALE : You guys wanna grab something to eat on the way back? 

TALL FEMALE : Whatever you guys wanna do.

SLENDER FEMALE : It sounds like a plan to me.

WONDER : (Sheesh...Are they gonna talk all day? Should I say something...?)

WONDER : Excuse me...

WONDER : (They're still just talking over me...I don't even care anymore...I'll just do nothing and wait...They have to stop eventually...)

A girl with long dark hair approaches the group. 

LONG HAIRED FEMALE : If you want to partake in idle chit-chat, you should relocate to the cafeteria. 

The girls all run away as if they are frightened by her.

LONG HAIRED FEMALE : Don't run in the hallway!

ALERT FEMALE : That was Tanemura-senpai! 

RIKO TANEMURA : Goodbye.

The girl, now known as Tanemura, gives Wonder one final cold glare before turning on heels and walking away. Leaving him scratching his head awkwardly.

-

As Wonder checks his phone, a strange owl is perched upon the lockers looking down on him. 

STRANGE OWL : Hm...Could this really be the guy? He doesn't look like anyone special...

Wonder hears something and turns to look, causing the strange owl to fly away. He doesn't think anything of it and leaves the locker area.

-

LIGHT-HEARTED MALE : Did you see that weird video that went viral yesterday? 

ANXIOUS MALE : Oh, I saw it alright...It's so scary...

LIGHT-HEARTED MALE : It was some kind of Phantom certification countdown...I don't really get it.

ANXIOUS MALE : I didn't brush my teeth when I left the house this morning. Do you think I could be certified a Phantom? 

-

The tram pulls up to the station, doors opening. A man rushes on board, knocking over a young woman in the process. She is now on the ground in front of the yellow line. Wonder witnesses the whole thing.

WONDER : (She's wearing headphones and not paying any attention...)

STATION ANNOUNCEMENT : The tram is preparing for departure. Please stand behind the yellow line until after the bell rings.

WONDER : (Should I bring it up with the man or go help the woman...? I can't just stand by and watch this happen...)

WONDER : Help the woman. 

He approaches the scene, however he hesitates. 

WONDER : (For some reason I can't find the energy to do anything about it...I don't even really care anymore...)

The doors to the tram close in the woman's face. 

HEADPHONE-WEARING WOMAN : Ah, rats. What terrible luck.

WONDER : (I guess I have to wait for the next tram...)

She walks away and Wonder stands with his hands in his pockets waiting for the next tram to arrive. The strange owl is revealed to be watching from afar. 

STRANGE OWL : Even with his desires "stolen", this human almost managed to alter his own fate...Perhaps he is the fellow who made the "choice" after all...?

-

Wonder boards the next tram when it arrives. Taking a seat and pulling out his phone. Arai is seated opposite of him, with her phone out as well. 

His eyes widen as he spots a mysterious App on his phone. He deletes it. Suddenly the strange owl begins speaking, perched on the bench across from him.

STRANGE OWL : As was the agreement, I've arrived.

Wonder glances around the tram, before looking back to his phone to see that the App has re-downloaded itself. 

STRANGE OWL : I'll give you a piece of advice. Not being able to see something clearly and not having the ABILITY to see it in the first place, are two very different things. I have some hope you might be the former of the two. 

MALE VOICE : Is that thing safe!?

FEMALE VOICE : It looks dangerous! 

A male with blue hair, a baseball cap, and a medical mask over his mouth is seen rushing across the tram on his bike. He knocks over a girl in the process and doesn't seem to care at all. His backpack says "Cyler Eats."

When he spots Wonder, he turns his bike on him and starts speeding in his direction with all he has. Wonder raises his hands to cover his face, and in the process opens the mysterious App on his phone on accident. 

-

Wonder slowly opens his eyes to see his own lap.

WONDER : (What the...? I was on the tram...Then someone tried to rush me with his bike and...)

STRANGE FIGURE : You chose a good time to use that App. On closer inspection, you've got a lotta class! 

WONDER : What ARE you!?

STRANGE FIGURE : I suppose this is a natural reaction for a human to have when facing an "unknown entity." You truly are a "curious" one, aren't you?

STRANGE FIGURE : You truly are worthy of a visit from me. You can call me Ruferu. I already know YOUR name. You're Wonder, right?

WONDER : Yes.

The tram comes to a screeching halt. 

RUFERU : Dang it! Seems we've been discovered! Let's go find a better place to talk. Come on, follow me. I'll be your guide on this mission to get back what was "stolen" from you.

WONDER : "Stolen?" 

RUFERU : That's right! Though you might not realize it yet, something very important has been "stolen" from you. Anyway, now's not the time. Our location has been compromised...Our top priority is leaving this place at once!

RUFERU : I will guide you to the exit. If you don't wanna die, you better follow me closely!

WONDER : (How bizarre...It seems I don't have much of a choice...)

Wonder follows Ruferu through the tunnels until they are approached by black shadows from behind. 

RUFERU : It seems they don't intend to let us leave easily. For these guys, we are a rare and delicious prey that they haven't had a bite of in a long time.

WONDER : What the heck is going on?

RUFERU : We call those shadows...They are out for our blood!

The shadows attack. Ruferu fights back, but they manage to crowd around Wonder. He trips and falls face first in the dirt. One of the shadows hits him in the face, before lifting him up by the neck and squeezing tight. Cutting off oxygen from his lungs.

When slammed against the wall, Wonder falls through it into a deep abyss of water. Voices ring out in his head as he plummets to the bottom and begins to drown. 

"Not being able to see something clearly and not having the ABILITY to see it in the first place, are two very different things."

"Though you might not realize it yet, something very important has been "stolen" from you."

"This is an underwater tunnel in the sea of your mind."

 "Lack of desire" can often times lead to giving up on life...Please remember these words, for I wish to see you again in the future." 

VOICE : What path shall you tread? To embrace the story's end here, is but a choice of thine...To forsake thyself, to willingly yield, to be a "stolen" wretch...Is this truly the way...?

Wonder is at the bottom of the sea, wrapped in seaweed and being held beneath the surface. 

WONDER : Don't be ridiculous!!

His eyes snap wide, and he breaks free, screaming at the top of his lungs. Swimming desperately for the surface. 

He snaps back to reality and pushes the shadow off of him with more force than humanly possible. Sending the shadow flying. A mask appears on his face and the voice speaks to him as he attempts to rip it off. 

VOICE : Now that you've made your choice. Say farewell to your "Detached" existence! Don't be afraid to seize the power within you. Even if you face criticism from others, so long as you can see it, reach out and grasp it. Hahaha! Let us finally welcome "Today!" 

He rips off the mask and is engulfed in flames that rise up around him and form the shape of a Persona. His clothing changes in an instant. 

JANOSIK : My name is Janosik, the one who leads those consumed by the wildest of desires! From this moment forward, the threads of fate have tightly bound us together. 

The shadows screech and morph, preparing to attack. And Janosik points his blade at them, 

JANOSIK : Come now, sign the contract! I am thou...

WONDER : Thou art I...!!

A fight with the shadows begins. 

RUFERU : This change in your appearance means we're deciding to fight instead of run, doesn't it?

WONDER : Fight...?

RUFERU : They're coming to kill us for real. If you don't wanna die, then use that weapon in your hand and cut down the enemy!!

[cuprohastes]

Dave the Human

The Atrix named Atrix, who’s human name was Garfield “Garf” Bloomers, and her pouch lurking male, Un-Named Male were by the window, a blanket draped around Garfield’s shoulders.

Dave The Human, who otherwise appeared to be a scaled female Tsin with scales painted in colourful patterns, using nail polish form the human cosmetic vendor down on the Commerce deck, sat opposite Garf, picking at a large salad, and Dave the Human sat opposite, eating a hamburger with a knife and fork, just to be special.

Un-Named said something. More accurately he went “Graaak” and Garfield translated: “He wants to know why you both have the same name.”

The more human of the Dave the Humans shook his head. “We don’t. I’m Dave the Human, and that’s Dave.

The Tsin nodded. “Is a job title, innit?” She said, finishing the last cherry tomato off.

Garf drummed her claws on the table and Un-Named peered at Dave the Human and Dave The Human.

Dave The Human shrugged and got out her cosmetic bag, pawed through and selected some nail polish - A rather deep and luxurious shade of blue seeded with computational nano-clusters that gave her personal network a little extra computing power and razzle dazzle. Kind of a super-intelligent shade of blue.

“Well Dave the Human’s called that because he’s named Dave, and he’s a Human, and there used to be Dave Glorious-Tail, who was Atrix and they needed to tell them apart.”

“‘S right.” Confirmed that particular Dave. “And Dave there used to be on B shift. Back a few years ago they wanted to keep the Atrix and Human teams sort of half and half — Politics, doncha know — but Dave’s a specialist and we couldn’t get a human…”

Dave The Human carefully touched up a scale. “… Uhhhh huh. So nobody wanted to tell me that I couldn’t do the job I’m certified for because you know, it felt a bit prejudiced. Soooo… they worked around it.”

“‘S right.” Confirmed Dave the Human.

“And now I’m officially An Human” said Dave The Human.

“A male human too. Got paperwork and everything.” Said Dave the Human proudly.

Garf and Un-Named looked between the Daves with pink and orange faces (Pink and Orange: Suspicious of a good natured manner — Hey kids, pick up Atrix for Dummie and find out what your Atrix friends think!).

“The problem with humans is I can never tell when you’re joking or serious.” Garf said and Un-Named added a firm Grak.

Dave The Human spread her hands out. “Hey, it’s a human thing.”

“S’Right” Dave the Human confirmed, “He should know!”

[arialerendeair]

20 questions for fic writers!

Both @teejaystumbles and @spockandthings tagged me in this, so let's get it done!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I just recently posted up my 668 work on Ao3.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

5,129,415 words!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now, Sandman!! But I also dabble in other fandoms, including Shadowhunters, Supernatural, and a few others!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In general- 1. Never Judge A Shadowhunter By Their Scent - 4,712 2. The New York Shadow Market (Featuring Protective Alec Lightwood) - 3,262 3. Magnus Bane: Certified BAMF - 3,252 4. A Curse, A Choice, A Claim - 3,031 5. A Mutually Beneficial Arrangement - 2,887 In Sandman- 1. Hopes & Dreams - 2,482 2. The Art of Seduction Via Longbow - 1,657 3. The Price - 1,220 4. A Husband, A Consort, A Nightmare - 1,089 5. Dreams Make Living Worthwhile - 1,022

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Indeed I do - sometimes months later (as a whole hell of a lot of people know right now from my comment reply spree, lol), but yes! I love taking the time to say thank you - even if you left an emoji - it made me smile and I feel like I should thank you for that!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

With the angstiest ENDING? (I'm a HEA stan, so hold on, this'll take a second.) Probably Learning to Say Goodbye - which has an open/hopeful ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

HAPPIEST ending? All of them. Oh man. I don't even know. What do you consider the happiest ending? The Titanic AU - Make It Count (which has the happiest possible ending)? Hopefully - My Hope of the Endless series? (And that's just in the Sandman fandom!)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have, yup! I tend not to as a whole, but it has definitely happened!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh yes. What kind? Uh. Well. Everything from the schmoopiest first time possible to all-orifices fucking with magical tentacles, sooo? All of it?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY AND WILL WRITE SO MANY MORE. The craziest crossover I ever wrote is a 5-fandom crossover - set in the Sandman universe. I pulled in characters from the Hades Game, Supernatural, Shadowhunters, and Good Omens in and had all of them face off against Hell! The War for the Dreaming

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Unfortunately, yes, multiple times. I wish that on no person.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A great many, in multiple fandoms!! Shout out to awesome co-authors who keep me sane!!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Omg I can't pick a FAVORITE. I've had so many over the years, I don't know if I ever could truly pick a favorite. Malec probably comes pretty damn close though, all things considered.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Candy Coated Nightmare. I want to finish it from the perspective of wanting to finish the story - but when the original creator of the gif story quit the fandom due to their work being stolen and stopped the project - finishing the story without them didn't seem right. So while I want to finish it to finish the story - I never will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've learned how to hack my ADHD brain and trigger hyperfocus whenever I want using a writing software. Which means I can write very obscene amounts of words, very quickly. (Also experience - I've been doing this for 23+ years now.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Editing and research. I hate editing, so none of my fics receive more than a cursory read-through at best. And having to heavily research a fic is what kills my enthusiasm for it faster than anything else, so I avoid it at all costs and make up things as I go along whenever that is an option.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Love the idea - but i think you gotta use the AO3 feature that allows you to put the translation when you click/hover over it!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Wheeew, we're going back to 2004, okay. Gundam Wing was my first ever fandom I wrote for.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

How the hell am I supposed to pick? I love Make It Count because that fic (all 120k) wrote itself. I love Together We Soar because it was the first long fic I wrote myself. (Long for me, anyways.) I love Alexander is Endlessly Surprising because I wrote 2 full sets of the Oldest Game and I thought I did an AWESOME job. I love The War for the Dreaming because it was an insane undertaking and I managed it. I love Magnus Bane: Certified BAMF because it introduced my favorite OC of all time - Oberon Onyx. So many more I could name, but I'll leave it there, at least for now!

Tagging @moorishflower, @cuubism, @blueberrymffn, @seiya-starsniper and anyone else who wants to participate!!

[redgoldblue]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Tagged by @luredin. Thank you!

How many works do you have on AO3?

49. which is insane to me. especially if you consider that 10 of those are actually 24 fic(let)s in one

What's your total AO3 word count?

360,722

What fandoms do you write for?

Whichever bug bites me. But the major ones are Hawaii Five-0 and Starsky & Hutch.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I Would Break Into Your House Just To Put Sugar In Your Tea (H50)

think about how good these seeds have sown (H50)

If You're Waiting On Me You're Backin' Up (I'm Way In Over My Head In Love) (H50)

unfortunately, Hands (House MD) (me and Hands have a contentious relationship. many of my friends could tell you of it. i long for the day i knock it out of top 5)

Not A Booty Call (Suits)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Not usually :(. I used to respond to all of them, but then it was making me stressed out about doing it, so I made a conscious decision that i did not have to do that and now I only respond to the occasional one that I actually have a response for other than 'thank you [heart emojis]'

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oh my dude. do i... do that? do I have literally any that fit that criteria? maybe To Love (Verb, Transitive) (S&H), although that should tell you how incredibly unangsty most of my endings are.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest, as opposed to fluffiest. hm. different criteria. I think happiest might be either If You're Gonna Do It, Do It Right (which is actually one of my angstiest fics in its body) or I Would Break Into Your House (both H50). Or Come Take The Wheel (S&H). Or Smarties Cookies (Non-Violent) (Leverage), which literally ends with the word 'happy'. as you can tell, this is much more up my alley.

Do you get hate on fics?

I do not, although I did get a comment waaayyy back in 2013 which funnily did not mention my actual writing, which was terrible, my being 13 and only writing for a year, but did tell me that the premise of my fic was out of character. it's possible that contributed to why i'm now borderline spiteful about making fics in character.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah. Not a lot, but yeah. is bdsm/bdsm-overtoned a kind? That. Sometimes with feelings sometimes not particularly, but if it's with feelings it will be a truly stupid amount of feelings.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not for years, but my very first multi-chapter >10k fic was BBC Sherlock/Doctor Who crossover. it was 2014. don't look at me.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

...yeah. Avengers crack!fic. the only fic from pre-2017 I'm happy to link, bc pure crack doesn't care about how good your writing is.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Look. I would be a liar if I said anything other than Steve/Danny. Other ships may come and go but these fucked up obliviously married certified Dad™ middle-aged white guy cops made a permanent and large imprint on my mind and there are entire worm colonies living in that imprint.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

The long Suits season 8 canon divergence fic, where Harvey's mother dies a season earlier than in canon and Mike flies back to help him through it. The first two chapters are literally like, 100 words away from being finished, so it's possible that if I ever feel the urge to watch Suits again I will drum up a truncated third chapter and post it but. it's also very possible I will not. There's a 5+1 Geraskier fic it would've been nice to finish too, but I don't ever see that happening.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, humour, emotional description that's just enough to the left of normal analogies that it makes you actually stop and think about/feel it. Occasionally, punch-to-the-gut-with-softness lines.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Physical description, good lord. Especially of settings. Having any reasonable idea of how long a fic is going to be. Actually doing the work of writing in between the times where the words just spontaneously appear in my head. Not as relevant for fic as for original work, but calculating how much backstory readers actually need.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't know that I've ever really done it in fic, other than the occasional Yiddish word for Jewish characters, but I am doing it a little bit in my novel WIP, bc 2.5 of my MCs are Latinx and occasionally speak Spanish with each other. I think it's fine in moderate doses, assuming the characters actually would be using it, but that it should follow the same rules as pop culture references: either the meaning is broadly deducible from context, or it's not either vital to the plot or hugely disruptive of flow if you don't understand it. Also if it's anything more than single words you should probably get someone who actually speaks the language to check it for you.

First fandom you wrote for?

...BBC Sherlock

Favorite fic you've ever written?

can i say a wip. my spouse/neurological infection state of disrepair. but okay no in posted fics... ykw even though it's a fandom i am off and on with, and mostly off, and currently off, When You're Loving Me (That's When I'm Loving You) (NCIS: LA) is a solid contender. But I also am quite happy with I Would Break Into Your House being my top kudosed, I think it deserves it.

Tagging: @actingcamplibrarian @osointricate @bookwhimses @faorism @gallantrejoinder

[wellnesswithaleenalir]

The Gym Beginner's Tip No One Will Tell You About

I’ll tell you all something that no other personal trainer in the fitness industry will tell you. It’s nothing new, and all trainers and instructors know this very well. The only reason you’ll never hear a trainer mention this publicly is because they will miss out on potential money by sharing this information with you. Before I share this information, I’ll give you my own credentials so you know I’m not just pulling your leg (although I’m certain most of you will already know this information intuitively).

If you’re new here, hello! My name is Aleena! I’m a NASM Certified personal trainer, and I’ve been working in the fitness industry for nearly three years now. That’s not a terribly long time, however I’ve experienced massive growth and success in my career since I’ve began as a personal trainer. First a trainer then a class instructor and eight months later I was gifted with the opportunity to become a fitness manager. I work for a boutique gym located in Downtown Los Angeles and the entire premise of my job is help the other trainers in my facility grow in their own training abilities. Beyond my career, I’ve been active my whole life. I ran track in elementary school, played basketball throughout middle school and high school, and was an active gym rat in college continuing on. When COVID struck and we all went into quarantine, I became a yoga nut and runner, and you can most certainly bet as soon as gyms opened up I found myself right back in there. Post-COVID I got my first ever personal trainer and quickly realized how easily I could translate the information I had learned throughout my life to help others in their own health and fitness journeys. A few months later I was certified and ready to start building in my profession. The growth has been unreal, but I feel it’s a deep indication of how I have found the path that is right for me. 

So what is it that other personal trainers won’t tell you?

You don’t NEED a personal trainer. Sure, that sounds normal and understandable, so let me clarify with more information. 

You don’t need a personal trainer for the FIRST THREE MONTHS of your fitness journey.

It’s a fairly intuitive understanding, but most of us will get scared to do something new on our own. The reason I say the first three months is because, if you’ve never done anything fitness related or it’s simply been a long time since you’ve been active, the first three months should be dedicated to getting into the habit of becoming active. If we’ve been sedentary for a long time, quite literally any consistent movement will yield results.

I like to explain it like this - if you pick up a weight and you move the weight in some way and you do this everyday for 90 days, you will see a change. It doesn’t matter what you do with this weight. You can pull it, press it, raise it, walk with it. Just do it every single day for 90 days and watch how something will change. Now… it may not be the change you want to see, but there will be change. This is something we all know, and yet no trainer is going to tell you this. Instead (as an unfortunate result of the capitalistic nature of our society) they’ll try to sell you on the idea that you have absolutely no clue what you’re doing and you need a trainer’s guidance in order to make change happen. 

Here’s my issue with that - most people know what they want, but they don’t have specific and fully developed fitness goals. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve sat down with a beginner client and asked what their goals are and the answer I get in return is something along the lines of “I want to lose 20 pounds” or “I want to tone up.” In turn I’d have to get specific with them by asking what movements they want to learn, what modalities they do and don’t enjoy, what amount of time they are realistically able to dedicate to their fitness, and so on and so forth. My job is to be a trainer, and I actually do enjoy having these conversations with people, but there’s room for error when we start from ground zero together. 

Firstly, and I say this with absolute conviction, your only friend in the gym should not be your trainer. Community at the gym is proven way to keep people motivated and interested in their fitness. People will stay at the same gym, even when the equipment is falling apart, the AC is leaking or broken, or the staff is terrible, because of the people they see at the gym. People also find more motivation to show up to the gym when they know their friends or their gym crush is going to be there. You should establish some semblance of a gym community before you start working with a trainer. Secondly, shoveling money out of your pocket will definitely weigh you down in the hopes of seeing results. Generally when we pay for something, we look for instant gratification (we can again blame capitalism and rampant consumerism for this). Fitness never has been and never will be a source of instant gratification. In order to trust the process, avoid paying the big bucks up front and instead see what you can and can’t do on your own. Show yourself that the change is possible first, before you begin to invest in a trainer, that the way when you’re paying for a trainer’s guidance you already know that it’s well worth it because you know the results will come cause you’ve already seen how consistency on your own made change. Thirdly, these initial 90 days that you spend working out on your own will be the source of inspiration. You will get to spend time in a gym, or just moving your body and trying to learn more on your own. This gives you the time to become specific with what it is you want to do. It’s day 1 in the gym and you have no idea what a deadlift is, but now it’s day 90 in the gym and you’ve seen the same girl deadlifting since day 1, so you did your research and now you a specified goal to take to the trainer you end up working with. Specified goals will also help you when trying to select a trainer. Every trainer can teach you how to deadlift, but a barbell technique specific trainer is going to teach you the sport of the deadlift. You wouldn’t ask a math teacher to help you write an english essay, and same applies here. You wouldn’t ask a body building coach to teach you athleticism and mobility. You wouldn’t as a powerlifting coach to teach you how to become absolutely shredded. Become specific, and the path will become obvious. 

I’ve given you my three reasons as to why I believe people should start their fitness journeys on their own.

I’ll also share with you the exceptions I have to this belief. 

First, if you struggle with discipline or motivation, this will not work for you. If this is the case, I recommend looking for a coach, not a trainer. You may be thinking… what’s the difference. There’s a huge difference. A trainer will tell you what to do when to do it, they’ll show you how to do things correctly and they’ll send you on your merry way. A coach will do all of those things, but they’ll also help you build sustainable habits, they’ll help you push past your limiting beliefs, they’ll hold you accountable and do check-ins with you, they’ll make appropriate adjustments to your program without you having to say anything, they will monitor ver closely, your journey and course correct if something is not lining up with the path. Second, if you’ve had multiple failed starts to your fitness journey, I also believe looking for a coach will benefit you for the same reasons above. You may already have some knowledge around fitness, or you may have been very active back in the day, but again - the struggle is consistency and accountability. A coach is meant to be an accountability partner, it goes deeper than teaching someone the movements, it’s about reworking the brain’s chemistry associated with fitness. 

If you don’t fall into either of these exception categories, then to you I say, pick up a weight and start moving it. We’ll talk in 90 days!